The Whole Truth
by Angellove727
Summary: Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione have finished the second battle. They are at Grimmauld Place helping Harry clean out the Black house. In the middle of the cleaning, Ginny and Harry find a letter from Sirius to Harry. What complete truth does Sirius need Ha
1. Prologue The Secret Letter

It was raining outside like never before. The rain that pounded on the window was accompanied with a loud howling of wind. Harry hadn't been back at Grimmauld Place since Sirius' death. He couldn't bring himself to go there until the situation with Voldemort was taken care of.

Harry was now eighteen and Voldemort had been vanquished for over six months. Now was the time to truly say goodbye to the closest person Harry had as a parent.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasley clan decided it was time to face the demons of the past. They were cleaning up the Black house and making it possible for people to live in.

Harry and Ginny were in Sirius' room cleaning and sorting through his things.

"Is this morbid? This kind of feels morbid to me." Said Ginny in a whisper.

Harry looked up from a stack of papers and nodded. "Yeah. It does but we have to get it done once and for all."

Harry sighed as he looked away from her and went back to the papers lying all around him.

Ginny stared at him for a moment before walking over to where he was sitting and put her arms around him. He leaned into her and felt tears in his eyes. The pain of losing Sirius still felt fresh even though it had been over three years since his death.

"I still can't believe he's really gone, Gin. It feels like yesterday when I met him in the Shrieking Shack. I just miss him so much."

Ginny kissed the top of his head and sighed. "I know, Harry, I know. We all miss him too. Even though I didn't know him as long as you or as well, he was always kind to me and my family."

Harry turned around to face her and kissed her lips. "You know, I don't think I could do this without you, Ron, and Hermione with me. Do you mind helping with these papers? There are just too many to go through alone."

Ginny nodded and moved to sit next to him. They sat quietly for nearly a half hour before Ginny spoke.

"Harry, look! This is a letter to you from Sirius."

Ginny handed him the emerald green envelope that had Harry's name written in gold lettering.

Harry timidly took the letter out of Ginny's hand and stared at the envelope. He took a deep breath before opening the letter.

Harry scooted next to Ginny and began to read the letter aloud.

_"Dear Harry, _

If you are reading this that means only one thing, I'm dead. Hopefully, I went down with a fight. I do hope you are reading this as a middle aged man but knowing how I am, you are most likely still a teenager. If you are still a teenager, than I wish to apologize to you for leaving you so soon after meeting.

Harry, you are like a son to me, I hope you know. I love you very much and I'm really sorry that I'm gone and not able to be with you and watch you grow into a great man, which I see you become with each passing day.

Harry, James and I were more than best friends, we were closer than brothers, as you well know. We were what you and Ron to each other. Your mother was our Hermione. We cared deeply for each other and I can say that I'm very blessed to have known them the way I did. My only regret was that you didn't.

I know I have said this to you all before but I wanted to remind you before I told you the complete truth…"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed together. "The complete truth? What the bloody hell is he talking about?"

Ginny shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. Keep reading!" She rested her head on his shoulder as he continued to read the letter from his godfather.

_"…You may be wondering what the bloody hell I am talking about…"_

Ginny laughed as did Harry. "He knew you too well, Harry." Harry kissed her forehead and went back to the letter.

_"Well, you know, I'm right. Anyway, the reason I didn't tell you this when I was alive was at first I thought someone, like Dumbledore, would have told you about this before I reentered your life. When I found out that no one told you, probably to spare you any further pain or confusion, I realized that I couldn't tell you either. I couldn't and wouldn't because even to this day, as I am writing this letter to you, the pain was still too fresh to the point where the mere thought of it all still brings tears and devastation to me. _

Harry, I am about to tell you the story of the woman that was the love of my life. The woman that meant the same, if not more, to me than Lily, James, and Remus combined. This woman was your Aunt Samantha, Harry…"

Harry stared shockingly at the letter. He reread the last line a few times just to make sure his eyes were not playing tricks on him. Of course, he knew in his heart that they weren't. Ginny stared with her mouth opened at him, not knowing what to do or say. She stammered for a few moments before finally saying "You have an aunt?"

Harry shook his head, still in disbelief. "How could this be? Why didn't anyone tell me! I deserved to know!"

Ginny shrunk away from him. He was getting extremely angry and she didn't want to get in the way of his venting. "Harry, you saw what Sirius wrote. It was too painful for him to think about let alone talk to anyone about. Please keep reading. Keep reading to learn the whole truth."

Harry stared at her for a moment, mainly to get his anger in check. He finally nodded before sitting back down next to Ginny and let her rest her head on his shoulder once more.

Harry began reading aloud once more, trying to soak in all of Sirius' words as much as he could.

_"Harry, I'm sure you are very angry with me and understandably so. Just remember that I didn't tell you of this sooner not because I didn't care enough but because the mere memory of it all, the good, the bad, and the worst was just too much to bear._

_I think it would be best to start at the beginning. Every story has a beginning, middle, and an end. This is where you learn the whole truth.__  
_

_It all began many years ago. When I was going to Hogwarts for the first time. The first day at King's Cross Station…" _


	2. Chapter 1 Meeting The Boy She Would Alwa

"James, hurry up! You'll miss the train!" yelled a middle aged brunette woman.

The boy in question was leisurely strutting behind his mother, pushing his trolley and talking to the little brunette girl who was trying to keep up next to him.

"Do you promise to write me as often as you can?" asked the little girl who had tears in her eyes.

They crossed through the barrier together and then he finally answered.

He stared at her and smiled "Of course. I'll tell you all about the kind of trouble that I get into, of course."

She smiled brightly and gave him a big hug. "Can I come onto the train with you? Just for a moment?"

He sneaked a peek at his mother shaking her head. "Sure, you can help me find a seat."

She giggled happily and helped James with his trunk.

They walked down the corridor for a few moments before finding an empty compartment.

They just finished putting his trunk away when a dark brown haired boy entered holding his trunk. "Hello. Do you mind? Everywhere else is full."

James nodded and helped the boy with his trunk.

"I'm James Potter. This is my sister, Samantha."

The boy nodded at Samantha and she blushed deeply. "I'm Sirius Black. First year for you two?"

"It's mine. She isn't coming until next year. What about you?"

"First year."

"Samantha! Where are you?" They heard their mother scream. Samantha jumped up quickly and hugged her brother tightly while she started to cry.

"Promise me, James. Promise you will write to me and tell me all the trouble that you get into."

James smiled at his little sister and wiped away her tears. "I promise. Every rule breaking thing I do, I'll tell you."

They hugged once more before Samantha broke away. "I'll miss you. Stay safe and get into trouble often."

Samantha walked past James and faced Sirius. "You take care of my brother, Sirius. I have a feeling you two will be the best of friends." She gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek before running out of the compartment and onto the platform.

Sirius stared after her for a moment before nervously laughing. "Well, wasn't expecting any of that."

James stared at him for a moment before laughing along with him. "Looks like my sister fancies you."

They sat down and began talking when another boy happened into compartment. A tall, skinny, pale, light brown haired boy.

"Hello. Do you mind?"

They nodded and helped him with his trunk. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"I'm James Potter."

"I'm Sirius Black."

They sat down and continued their conversation. They heard the horn sound to signal their departure. James leaned out of the window to say goodbye once more to his family. He noticed Sam was still crying. "Bye, Sammy! I'll miss you most! I'll put a good word in for you with Sirius!" He laughed when he saw her eyes bulge out and her face turned a deep crimson.

Sirius laughed and leaned out the window. "Bye, Sam! Nice to have met you."

He didn't think it possible but she turned a darker shade of red.

"We haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet and you two already have a fan." Remus said laughing.

They finally arrived at Hogwarts. Sirius felt a little nauseous after the rocky boat ride to get to the castle. James, Remus, and Sirius walked through the front doors side by side.

James didn't remember ever feeling this nervous before in his life. They waited in an empty classroom before the sorting ceremony began. The first years were so silent that you could probably hear a pin drop.

Sirius looked around the room anxiously. He just wanted the whole sorting over and done with. He knew he would be put into Slytherin because that's where his family had been placed for generations.

A stern looking witch entered the room and looked at each of them. "Hello, my name is Professor McGonagall. I am the transfigurations teacher here at Hogwarts. We are ready for the sorting to begin. If you will all follow me."

They followed her into the Great Hall. It was full of students wearing black pointed hats. Professor McGonagall brought them to the front of the hall and put a dingy old hat on a stool. "When I call your name, come forward and you will be sorted into a house."

A few people were called before Sirius was. "Sirius Black." announced Professor McGonagall.

Sirius slowly walked up to where she was standing. He cautiously sat down and closed his eyes. He felt the hat being placed on his head. Not even a second later, the hat yelled out. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius was shocked. He couldn't believe that he wasn't placed in Slytherin. The Gryffindor table erupted into cheers and he went to join them.

After a while another familiar face was being called. "Remus Lupin."

The mousy haired boy looked terrified. He sat down and smiled at Sirius. Sirius in return gave him thumbs up. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus looked relieved as did Sirius. They were both pleased to know someone that would be in there house. Remus sat down across from Sirius and they started to cheer for their fellow Gryffindor first years whenever one was called.

"Peter Pettigrew."

A small lump of a boy walked to the stool and was shaking. Sirius was amazed at how frightened this boy looked. "GRYFFINDOR!"

The boy looked like he was about to faint. Sirius stared open mouthed because he couldn't believe that this boy, who looked terrified by just being alive, was placed into a house known for its bravery and courage.

"James Potter."

Sirius and Remus looked up with interest. James strutted towards the stool and sat down. He smugly smiled as the hat was placed onto his head. "GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius and Remus cheered as hard as they could. James ran over and sat down next to Sirius. "That was a piece of cake. I knew I would be put into Gryffindor the whole time." James said.

Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes. "I thought I would be put into Slytherin. My family has been sorted in there for generations."

James eyed him carefully. "Oh really?"

Sirius' face flushed. "Yeah, they have. They can have each other, if you ask me! That crap about being a pure blood and hating muggleborns is ludicrous, in my opinion."

James physically relaxed. "That's true. People are people, even though we are better because we can conjure up whatever we need in a moment while they have to go to the store."

Sirius laughed. "I guess so. Who cares about what people are, as long as you can hex them for being prats."

They looked at each other and laughed. Food appeared and they dug in to the feast as fast as they could.

Samantha was sitting in the kitchen watching her mother fuss around, cooking. It had been a month since James left for Hogwarts and she missed him terribly.

It helped some that James would write to her as often as possible. She would reread his letters over and over again to make her feel like she was there with him, experiencing everything he was.

Samantha sighed to herself. She thought of the things that James and she would do together before he went to Hogwarts. It wasn't that she didn't want him to go to Hogwarts; it's just that she didn't want him to go without her. Samantha knew that they needed separate lives but he was her best friend and she didn't care if she was acting selfish by missing him.

James would write to her about all the things he was learning and of what he and Sirius would do together. He even mentioned a girl named Lily Evans. James would stare at her constantly and ask her out but she would always say no and even kicked him in the shin one day. Samantha knew she liked this Lily person immediately after reading that letter. Not too many people would ignore James like that and was glad that someone was showing him that it wasn't a good thing to be so arrogant all the time.

Samantha would day dream constantly about being there with James and doing the things he did with Sirius. She knew that she had only briefly met him once but he stayed with her. Whenever James mentioned him, she would read every word carefully and then spend hours thinking about Sirius in great detail.

She never told James that the night before he left she had a strange dream. Actually, it was more of a mental picture of the future than a dream. She saw James and Sirius as teenagers. James was hugging a fiery red haired girl with Sirius hugging her. There was such a comforting feeling between the four of them. Samantha knew that they were all very close and meant a lot to each other. When she met Sirius that day at King's Cross Station, she knew that was the boy from her dream and that this boy would be James' best friend. 

She knew it didn't make any sense. When she told her mother of her dream and what happened in the compartment, she got really quiet before telling Samantha that she was just being silly. 

"Samantha? Dear, are you alright?"

Samantha looked up and smiled at her mother. "Yeah, I'm alright."

Her mother sat down across from her and smiled. "Are you thinking about that boy again?"

Samantha blushed and nodded. "Yes, mama, I am. I know I shouldn't be since I only met him for a moment but when I saw him I knew."

"Knew what, sweetheart?" 

Samantha sighed happily. "That he was the boy that I would always love."

Mrs. Potter laughed lightly. "You are such a romantic. How can you know that you will always love him?"

Samantha smiled apprehensively before answering. "I know because of that dream I had. The one I told you about after James left? That's how I know."

Mrs. Potter noticeably stiffened. "It was just a dream. You can't base your life over some silly dream you had."

She looked at her mother closely. "Why does my dream bother you so much? If it was just a silly dream that I had, then why does it offend you?"

Mrs. Potter stood up quickly. "It doesn't offend me. I just don't want you to waste your life and deciding every little thing by this dream. You have your whole life ahead of you, Samantha. You will meet plenty of boys when you are old enough and find the one for you. It doesn't have to be this boy. You are going to live a long life filled with love. Don't wait for this one boy because you had a dream."

Samantha rolled her eyes at her mother. "I know I will meet other boys who catch my fancy but they will never compare to Sirius Black. He's the one, mama. I know it. I can feel it in my bones."

Mrs. Potter laughed and shook her head. "You are just as stubborn as your brother. I'll be lucky if you two survive to be thirty at this rate."

Samantha looked sad when her mother walked away. "I hope we do too."

Mr. Potter helped James and Sirius put their trunks on to the trolleys and went towards their taxi.

"You're sure you and Mrs. Potter don't mind me spending Christmas with you all?"

Mr. Potter laughed out loud. "Of course not. What kind of people would we be if we didn't invite James' best friend home for Christmas. It's a shame you couldn't go with your family on holiday in Italy."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably and glanced at James. "Yeah, it's a shame, Pop. But Sirius is going to have the best time with us right?"

Mr. Potter laughed once again. "Indeed. Welcome home, Sirius."

They barely opened the door when a sudden blur of long wavy dark brown hair tackled James to the ground. They were laughing so hard. "James, I've missed you so much! It's been dreadfully boring here without you." Sam said in record time.

Their father helped them up and it wasn't until he let go that Samantha noticed someone standing in the background watching quietly.

Her eyes got wide and her mouth hung open. "S-Sirius? What are you doing here?"

Sirius smiled at her. "Your parents invited me weeks ago. My parents are in Italy. I would have thought James would have told you?"

She nodded dumbly and gave Sirius a quick hug hello. She turned her gaze on her brother and father. They quickly straightened at her gaze.

Mrs. Potter came into the room from the kitchen. "Oh boys, you're home!" She hugged each of them tightly. Sirius had never felt so welcome in his life, not even at his own home.

Mrs. Potter led them into the kitchen as Mr. Potter levitated their trunks to their rooms.

"So boys, tell me all about how your first year at Hogwarts is going?"

Samantha smiled at her older brother and Sirius. She knew what they had really been up to but wanted to hear the spin they would put on their stories to please her mother.

They spent the Christmas vacation having fun playing games and hanging out with Samantha.

It all ended much too quickly for Samantha's liking. She didn't like having to say goodbye so quickly again. James was her best friend and Sirius was the boy she knew she would always love.


	3. Chapter 2: Betrayed And Heartbroken

Chapter 2: Betrayed And Heartbroken.

Sirius had spent a good amount of time at the Potters during the summer.

There was an excitement in the air that summer as they went to King's Cross Station once again. They were able to see their friends, Remus and Peter, again. For James, it was even better because he would see Lily Evans again.

Samantha boarded the train with James and Sirius. She was excited indeed. It was her first year at Hogwarts and James and Sirius invited her to sit with them on the way to the school.

"You're going to love Hogwarts, Sam. It is the best place besides your house." Said Sirius.

Samantha blushed deeply. Despite spending most of the summer with Sirius, she couldn't seem to speak or form complete thoughts in his presence. She dumbly nodded. Sirius just thought she was nervous about going to Hogwarts for the first time.

Sirius knew of the crush Samantha had on him but never made her feel embarrassedabout it that was James' job. She was very grateful to Sirius indeed for the way he handled everything.

Samantha was very grateful that the sorting was over. She was in Gryffindor along with her brother. She smiled as she remembered him jumping up and down when the sorting hat announced what house she would be in. He gave her a big hug and made her sit next to him and his friends.

She was amazed by everything she saw at Hogwarts. They told her about each professor they've had and which students to stay away from.

"Snape. That's him over there, the stupid git." Sirius told her across the table the first night.

Samantha looked over to where he was pointing. She saw a dark greasy haired pale boy sitting by himself. A part of Samantha felt bad for the boy, who looked like he didn't have any friends whatsoever.

Snape must have felt their eyes on him because he looked up at them. She partially smiled at him, not knowing what else to do. He seemed startled by her smile for a moment before sneering at her.

"Why are you smiling at him? He doesn't deserve your kindness. None of those Slytherin prats do." James said with a full mouth of food.

"Oh seriously, Potter! He really isn't all that bad. Why do you have to be such a git!" Samantha looked over to the person who said this.

She saw a very pretty girl with red fiery hair and the most gorgeous green eyes she had ever seen. The girl smiled at Samantha and Samantha couldn't help but smile back. "Hi, I'm Lily Evans. And you are?"

"I'm Samantha Potter. James' little sister."

Lily stared wide eyed at her for a moment before she laughed. "You mean James wasn't really raised by wolves? That's good to know."

Samantha laughed. "You're the famous Lily Evans. James has done nothing but talk about you all the time." Samantha heard James choke on the pumpkin juice he was drinking behind her while his friends laughed.

James leaned into his little sister's ear and said through gritted teeth. "I'll get you back for this."

(a week later)

Samantha walked down to the common room and saw a group of people hanging around the bulletin board.

They turned when they saw her and started to laugh. Samantha was so confused until she saw what was posted.

"Oh no!" she whispered. Her diary entries. The ones that were all about Sirius. She felt tears sting her eyes and she stared dumbly at the pages.

"_Dear Diary, I have just met the man I'm going to marry, his name is Sirius Black…_" one girl behind her said. A bunch of people started laughing all around her. Samantha never felt so embarrassed in her life.

"What's going on? What's so funny?" Samantha almost choked. Sirius was right behind her. She tried desperately to rip all the pages down before he saw them but they appeared to multiply after everyone she took down.

She looked over to her side and there he was reading the pages. She saw him glance at her awkwardly and she didn't know what to do.

"Told you I would get you back." Samantha spun around and saw her best friend, her big brother standing there smirking at her.

Samantha never felt so betrayed in her life. The only thing she could think of doing was running up to her room and never coming out again until after her seventh year.

She never cried so hard in her life. She was crying so hard that she didn't notice when Lily entered.

"Hey Sam."

Sam buried herself deeper under the covers. Lily sat softly on the bed and rubbed her back.

"If it makes you feel any better, I put a bat bogey hex on your brother until he removed every last one of the pages. Here you go." Lily laid the pages of her most intimate thoughts on the bed. "Even Sirius was yelling at him for doing this to you for such a stupid reason."

Samantha sat up and looked at her through her puffy red eyes. "Why w-would he do this? I was only kidding when I said that to you. He would always write to me about asking you out everyday and you turning him down. I thought he would think it was funny. I would have never dreamed he would have done this to me. He knew how I felt about Sirius and he did it anyway! I'll never forgive him!"

Lily hugged Sam tightly as she continued to cry. Lily tried to soothe her as much as possible. "Sirius wanted to come up and check on you but boys aren't allowed up here. He feels very badly about all of this. I don't think I've seen him so angry, especially at Potter."

Samantha let out a little hiccup before asking "How do I face everyone after this? How do I face Sirius?" she let out another gulp of tears while Lily continued to hug her. "You know what you do? You hold your head high and pretend you don't care whatsoever."

Samantha nodded "Do you think that will work?"

Lily looked a little unsure but nodded. "After sometime, it will. And I'll be there whenever you need someone to talk to."

"W-Why are you being so nice to me?"

Lily smiled at her. "Because I know how I would feel if this ever happened to me and I would want someone to be there for me. Just remember you have someone to talk to whenever you need it."

Lily helped Samantha clean up before walking downstairs together. Samantha saw James and Sirius sitting together and looks up when she came down the stairs.

"Hey Sam. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Sirius asked. James looked as if he was going to say something but quickly decided against it when Sirius gave him a scathing look.

They walked over to a private corner and sat down. They stared awkwardly at each other before Sirius started to speak.

"Look, I'm sorry for what James did. I hope you know that I didn't have any part of this."

"Yes, I know. Lily told me that you yelled at him for it. I want to thank you for that."

Sirius nodded. "It was nothing… I-I wanted to tell you that I am very flattered by your feelings but I only think of you as a sister and a friend."

Samantha felt as if her entire world was crashing down around her but she refused to show it. "I realized that. I'm not stupid. I just hoped that you would never see what I wrote."

Sirius looked at her for a moment before continuing. "I hope you know that I don't want to hurt you because you mean a lot to me."

"I know, Sirius. It's all right. No harm done. I'll get over it."

Sirius smiled brightly and brought her into a tight hug before leaving to be with his friends. Samantha sat back down while her heart broke even further.

"Hey Sam." Samantha looked up to see Lilac Andrews and Patty Prince, her dorm mates, looking at her. "Can we sit with you?" Sam nodded and they began talking and helped her get her mind off of things.


	4. Chapter 3: The First Cold War

Chapter 3: The First Cold War.

That night, Samantha sat down with her dorm mates; Lilac, Patty, Alice, and Mary at dinner.

She saw James looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She ignored him as much as possible while trying to enjoy the company of her new friends.

"Hey Sam! Can we join you?" The girls looked up and saw Lily and her friends looking at them. Samantha scooted over to make room.

They began talking when they heard someone cough behind them. Before Samantha looked up she heard Lily scoff.

Samantha saw James looking a little uncomfortable. She felt a giddy sense of happiness at the sight of his unease.

"Sam, can I speak to you for a moment? In private?"

Samantha looked at her friends and smiled when they were all giving him dirty looks. "I guess so."

She followed him outside into the hallway and waited for him to speak.

"I want you to know that I'm really sorry about what I did. I never wanted to hurt you but you did embarrass me in front of Lily. I only wanted to get you back."

She stared at James with utter disbelief. "How can you compare what I did with that stunt you pulled! I only said what I did because I thought you would find it funny!"

James seemed to realize his stupidity. "I'm sorry. I had no right to that to you. It was really stupid and mean. So, is everything okay between us?"

Samantha could have slapped him right then and there. "No! Everything is not okay between us! I love you, James. You are my brother and you were my best friend."

"_Were_?" He sounded defeated.

She nodded. "You were. You know how I feel about Sirius and you still completely destroyed me because of some stupid comment I made to Lily. I have to love you because you are my brother but I don't think I will ever trust you again." She left him alone in the hallway to rejoin her friends.

He stared blankly at her retreating form and didn't realize when Sirius came to stand next to him. "You alright, mate?"

"S-She said I wasn't her best friend anymore. S-She said she would never trust me again."

Sirius sighed. He understood how Samantha felt. She wasn't the only one embarrassed by James' prank but Sirius couldn't help but feel sorry for his best friend at that moment.

Everyone knew how much Samantha meant to James. Besides his mates at school, she was his best friend. All he could do was be there for his friend while he dealt with this devastation.

"I'm sorry, mate. She'll get over it eventually. Just give it some time."

James barely nodded as he walked back to the dormitory with Sirius following.

(a month later)

Things between Samantha and James didn't cool off. She continually gave him the cold shoulder and if she had to talk to him, she only gave him one word responses.

James was feeling horribly because whenever he needed someone to confide in, she was always there. Now, he felt like he didn't have a friend in the world. Sirius did his best to try and take his friend's mind off of things by sneaking around after dark and going into the kitchens.

"Come on, mate, cheer up! She'll come around!" Sirius, Remus, and Peter stared at him expectantly.

"Yeah, Sirius is right, James. She'll come 'round. How about a walk on the grounds?" asked Remus.

James sighed. He understood what his friends were trying to do. He really appreciated it and he was trying to get over it. James didn't understand why he was acting like this. Sam had been mad at him before and it never affected him this way. "_Probably because you never broke her trust before, you stupid git!_" He thought to himself. "You're right. Enough of this! Let's go!" Sirius, Remus, and Peter all smiled and followed him out. They say by a tree and were joking around when they heard a familiar laugh. They turned and saw a second year Ravenclaw flirting with Samantha. "Who's that prat touching my sister's hair!" growled James. Sirius stood by his friend with clenched fists.

"Well, let's go find out then." Said Sirius in a dangerous tone. Remus sighed and followed with Peter stumbling behind them.

The blonde haired blue eyes god looked up from Samantha and smiled at the boys. "Hey, Potter, Black, Lupin, and you are?"

Peter seemed startled at the attention. "P-Peter Pet-Pettigrew."

Sirius rolled his eyes at Peter and turned back to the prat. "Who are you?"

"Michael Lewis."

"Well, Michael, what do you think you are doing with my sister?" growled James.

Samantha rolled her eyes and sighed. "Nothing! We were just talking, James! Honestly!"

Sirius glared at Michael. "Well, did he have to grope your hair while you two were _talking_?"

A small smile found its way onto Samantha's face. "Well, if I didn't know any better, it would sound like your jealous, Sirius?"

Sirius glared briefly at her. "You know I'm not. I'm just looking out for you, like James."

Michael shifted uncomfortably. "Look, guys, we were just talking. Mostly about Quidditch, that's all." He turned to her and smiled. "We'll talk later, when we're alone." He gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before sauntering away.

Samantha giggled and blushed before turning to glare at James and Sirius. "You! Didn't you embarrass me enough for one lifetime?"

James stammered. "E-Embarrass you! You honestly believe I was trying to embarrass you! I was protecting you!"

Samantha scoffed. "Protecting me from what exactly!"

"From a reputation as a…a…s-scarlet woman!"

She stared blankly at him for a moment before busting with laughter. "A scarlet woman! Are you mad? You sound like mum!"

"He's right you know!" Sirius said offering help to his friend.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Oh honestly! Do you think I have any real interest in Michael Lewis? I'm not that thick!"

Remus smiled. "Then, do you mind if we ask, what you two were doing?"

Samantha smiled at Remus, who slightly blushed at the attention. "I don't mind. I was defending my prat of an older brother to Michael. He had the nerve to say that you somehow cheated to get onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He refused to believe that you got on by sheer talent."

"Then what was that kiss all about?" asked Sirius.

"Like you care. He most likely did it to annoy the hell out of you and James. It seems that you lot have been dubbed my protectors."

Sirius and James smiled with pride. "All right then! Good to know word has gotten 'round."

Samantha sighed and saw her friends waving her over. "Okay, I'll be going now. I'll see you in the common room later, Remus?" Remus blushed and nodded.

Once she left, Sirius and James turned to look at him. "What are you seeing her later for?" asked Sirius.

Remus stared at his friend with a bemused look on his face. "I'm going to help her with some of her History of Magic homework. Seriously, mate, are you jealous?"

The three of them laughed and went to walk back to the tree while leaving Sirius behind feeling confused. "I'm not jealous!" He muttered angrily while running to catch up to his friends.


	5. Chapter 4: A Secret Revealed

Chapter 4: A Secret Revealed.

The year seemed to melt away quickly and before anyone realized they were already in the middle of the summer holiday.

Sam and James were finally on friendly terms again. Sirius joined them after only two weeks of the beginning of the holiday.

Samantha quickly realized she was slipping into old patterns. Her crush on Sirius was getting deeper and deeper with every passing day. The previous night at dinner she was so flustered by his presence that she accidentally stuck her elbow in the butter dish. Sirius saw what she did but kindly ignored this so not to cause her anymore embarrassment.

Samantha had also stayed in close contact with Lily, repeating every stupid little thing she did. Lily was a complete god sent.

Luckily, for Samantha, she had some of her other friends send invitations to visit them.

She left her home for a couple of weeks while she visited Lilac, Patty and Alice. Mary was on holiday in Paris with her family.

When she came back, last night's butter incident also happened to be her welcome home dinner, she fell head first into her old habits. She couldn't speak or think in the presence of Sirius Black.

She told them all of her visits with each of her friends. She even mentioned how boy crazy Lilac and Patty have become. "When I was with them, we flirted with some local muggle boys. It was so much fun."

Mr. Potter, James, and Sirius scowled at this bit of news and began to lecture her on how boys shouldn't be trusted while Mrs. Potter beamed happily. "Oh my little Samantha is becoming such a fine young woman. Turning the heads of so many muggle boys."

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It was finally time for the day to return back to Hogwarts. Once on the train, Samantha joined the boys in their compartment to say hello to Remus and Peter.

"Well, I'm off. I'll see you lot later!"

"You aren't going to stay with us?" asked Remus shyly. That question received curious glances from Sirius and James.

Samantha laughed and shook her head. "No, sorry, I've promised my friends I'd sit with them. I might stop in a bit later though."

They said their goodbyes and once she was out of earshot Sirius turned to Remus. "Do you fancy Samantha?"

Remus looked surprised at this accusation. "Of course not! I was just wondering if she was going to be sitting with us."

James nodded while Sirius looked on in disbelief. "Good. I think what he is saying, Remus, is that she is only twelve and you're thirteen. That is a big difference in my book."

Remus sighed, already annoyed with the course of this conversation. "I know, James, I know. We are just friends. Even if there was more to us than that, I would most certainly speak to you about it first."

James smiled while Sirius scowled. "All right then, mate, tell me all about your summer. You too, Peter."

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It was nearing the end of December and things for Sam weren't easing up. Her crush on Sirius was getting worse and bordering on the line of obsession. He pretended not to notice but she could see his kindness of the situation was waning.

One night while Remus was helping her with her History of Magic essay, she let go and told him everything.

"Remus, what am I going to do?" she asked in a desperate whisper. They were sitting in a corner of the common room, huddled together.

"You have to calm down. If you don't, I'm afraid you'll explode." Remus said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Samantha laughed. "You know, that's exactly what Lily said. The question is how?"

Remus shrugged and offered "How about this? Every time you start to get a little too…um…crazy around him and I'm there, I'll cough and you'll know when to stop."

Samantha beamed at him. "That's brilliant! Thank you, Remus!" She gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. He blushed and was staring intently at her but they were soon interrupted.

"What the bloody hell is going on here!"

They looked up and were surprised to see Sirius and James. "N-Nothing!" stuttered Remus.

"I was just thanking Remus for all the help he has given me even though he has work of his own to finish."

"That seemed much more than a thank you to me!" said Sirius.

Remus and Samantha blushed furiously and avoided looking at each other. "You promised that you would talk to me before you moved in on my sister!" James said through gritted teeth.

Samantha looked at Remus with shock written all over her face. "Remus…?"

Remus glared at James and Sirius before silently getting up and leaving.

Samantha stood up and glared at the two of them. "How could you that to one of your best mates! If you want to know the truth, he was giving me advice on how to get over my crush on Sirius! I was thanking him for that! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go talk to him before bed."

Sirius and James stared after her. "I guess we handled that well." said James without a hint of humor. All Sirius could do was nod.

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Samantha knocked on the door before entering. She saw Remus sitting on his bed, looking sad.

"Remus? I'm so sorry for what those gigantic gits said down there." She sat softly next to him on his bed. She leaned her head on his shoulder, waiting for him to respond. Remus leaned against her and sighed. "I know. It's not your fault. They just like to jump to the same conclusion whenever you are around somebody male."

Samantha slightly laughed. "Don't I know it. Imagine when I do fancy someone enough to have a boyfriend. They'll crucify him."

Remus laughed. "Given up on Sirius, have you?"

Samantha smiled. "I know he'll never feel the same as I do for him. I just wish my heart would catch on already. And don't worry about those prats, I set them straight. I told them the truth about our conversation." Remus looked surprised and Samantha nodded. "I did. So, now, they know you were trying to help me curb my feelings for Sirius. You should have seen the look on their faces. I honestly think Sirius was seriously disappointed about me giving up on my crush." Remus gave her a look and she laughed. "I know, I know, wishful thinking." They sat in silence for a few moments before Sam continued to speak. "I know you don't fancy me, Remus."

Remus shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "Um…yeah…?"

"Well, my point is that Professor Slughorn is begging me to come to his Christmas party for the other Slug Club members and I was wondering if you would go with me? As a friend, of course."

Remus sighed. "I would love to but I have to tell you something important first. This might change your mind about me though. No one else knows about this, not even James, Sirius, or Peter." They turned to face each other and before he spoke he put up a silencing charm, just in case someone came in during the middle of their conversation.

Sam waited for him to begin. Remus looked scared, very scared. "You can tell me anything, Remus. I promise not to tell anyone."

Remus weakly smiled and blurted out what he had to say quickly. "I'm a werewolf."


	6. Chapter 5: An Unexpected Development

Chapter 5: An Unexpected Development.

Samantha stared at him in utter disbelief for a moment before smiling. "Is that all?"

Remus looked up in shock. "_Is that all?_ I just told you I am a werewolf and that's all you say?"

Samantha nodded. "It all makes sense when you think about it. Your paleness, odd scratches all over you, and your monthly disappearances. I'm surprised James and Sirius haven't put it all together yet. With Peter, you would need a road map, a sign, and you telling him to figure it out."

Remus laughed. "Truer words have never been spoken."

"Remus, I think you should tell the others. They will understand. They are your best mates; they'll be there for you. But don't worry; I won't say anything, not until you are ready, of course." They hugged tightly before she left to go to bed, leaving Remus alone with his thoughts.

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Remus was sitting down at the table by himself in the common room when Samantha walked in and threw her bag down on the table.

Remus looked up with a smile and watched as she grabbed her books out of her bag and slammed them on the table.

"My, my, is there anything wrong, Sam?"

She playfully glared at him before answering. "Yes, there is. Did you hear about the ball that Dumbledore decided to throw?"

Remus shook his head and she continued. "Well, he decided that he was going to award the students with a ball over Christmas. The same night as that Slughorn thing. They only thing is that the ball is only open to third year students and up. Younger students can go only if said older person asks them?"

Remus smiled. "And, let me guess, you want me to ask you?"

Sam giggled. "Oh please, Remus! I'll be your best friend!"

Remus laughed. "Sam, would you do me the honor of letting me escort you to the Christmas ball?"

Sam jumped up and down. "Oh, thank you, Remus! You're the best!"

"One question. What about the Slughorn thing?"

Sam sighed. "Well, I've just thought about it. I've come to the conclusion that I just won't go. Slughorn won't hold it against me."

Sam gave Remus a big hug and started to ramble on. "Oh my! Its next week! I'm going to have to send and owl to mum so she can send me my dress robes."

Remus stared at her completely amused but it suddenly turned into shock when she kissed him right on the lips. She was so excited that she didn't seem to notice what she did. "Thank you, thank you, Remus. I'm going to the owlery right now."

Remus was still staring in shock after she left and didn't realize that Sirius was now sitting next to him, trying to get this attention. He finally snapped his fingers in front of his face which seemed to do the trick. Remus jumped a little. "Oh hello, Sirius."

"You alright, Remus?"

"S-She kissed me."

Sirius smiled brightly. "Oh yeah? Who is _she_?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Now, don't get upset."

Sirius nodded. "Okay, I won't."

Remus highly doubted this but decided to tell him the truth. "Sam. Sam was the girl that kissed me."

Sirius' eyes went wide in utter disbelief. "What! When?"

"Hey! You promised you wouldn't get mad!"

Sirius tried to calm down. "I'm not angry, Remus. There is no reason I should be except that I think of her like my little sister. Please, continue."

Remus looked unconvinced but continued. "The night you and James thought you walked in on something, Sam asked me to go to the Slug Club party with her. I agreed because we were just going as friends." Sirius nodded slowly, trying to understand what exactly the point was. "Well, not ten minutes ago, she came storming in and told me all about the Christmas ball Dumbledore is throwing. She couldn't go without being invited by someone in their third year or higher up. So we decided that we would go to the Christmas ball instead of the Slug Club party. She was just so excited that she kissed me and ran off to send an owl to her mum. I don't think she realized she did it."

Sirius was quiet for a moment before speaking. "Well, Remus, it's not your fault. She was just excited, it didn't mean anything."

Remus nodded solemnly.

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Samantha was waiting for Lily outside the portrait hole. It wasn't until after she sent the owl to her mother that she realized what she had done.

"Lily! Thank god! I've been waiting for ages to talk to you!"

Lily stared curiously at her. "You didn't write another love letter to Sirius, did you? Because I don't think I can cause another diversion for you to get it back."

Sam let out a sarcastic laugh. "No. I just kissed Remus!"

Lily choked and started coughing. Sam patted her back and told her every thing. Lily laughed out loud. "Oh, Sam. He probably didn't think anything of it. Don't worry." Sam looked a little sad. Lily looked intently at her for a moment. "Unless, you though of the kiss as something." Sam pushed Lily behind a corridor and didn't realize Remus and Sirius just emerged from the portrait hole. They heard their voices and couldn't help but hear their conversation."Sam, do you have feelings for Remus?" Remus and Sirius looked at each other in surprise.

"I don't know. I mean, he is one of the greatest guys here. My feelings for Sirius will always be there, and I know this because even after I got to know him, I still care for him." Lily let out a loud laugh while Remus struggled to keep his in. Sirius scowled. "Remus is always there for me when I need him. When I kissed him, I didn't realize I did it until after I sent that owl to my mum. Then it hit me."

"What hit you?"

"When I kissed him, I felt a spark. I mean, I guess I'm saying that kissing him felt…good."


	7. Chapter 6: Anxiously Waiting

Chapter 6: Anxiously Waiting.

It was the night before the Christmas ball and Remus was still dodging Samantha.

She didn't understand why he was acting this way. "Maybe I freaked him out with that kiss?" She asked Lily.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know, Sam. Maybe, he was surprised by it and doesn't know how to act around you or doesn't know what to say."

Sam nodded. "You're probably right. I'll corner him tonight."

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Remus walked through the portrait hole after spending hours in the library. It wasn't that he liked avoiding Sam; it was just that he needed to avoid Sam.

He was always very fond of her. She was smart, funny, sweet, sensitive, and fun to be around. It also didn't hurt that she was very pretty. He had a crush on her for awhile but didn't dare act on those feelings. For one thing, she was only twelve and that was too young to his thirteen. Another reason was that she is one of his best mates little sister. And he was pretty certain that Sirius had feelings for her even if he couldn't realize it. He kept saying the only reason he cared do much about her was because she was like a little sister to him. The more he said this, the more the others didn't believe him.

He stopped short on his way to his room when he saw Sam sitting at the table in the middle of the common room bent over a pile of books and parchment.

"Hey Sam."

Sam looked up, startled. "Oh, hello, Remus."

Remus sighed and sat down next to her. "What are you doing?"

Sam looked at him out of the corner of her eye but continued to write. "Finishing up some of my homework so I don't have to worry about it over the holiday."

Remus nodded and they settled into an awkward silence.

"Remus? Why have you been ignoring me?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably in his chair and realized he never noticed just how hot the common room was.

When he didn't answer for a few moments, Sam spoke once again. "The kiss."

Remus nodded. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. It's just that with the kiss and your conversation with Lily-"

"What? Lily told you about our conversation? I can't believe she would do that to me!"

"No! You've got it all wrong! Sirius and I came out of the portrait hole and we heard the conversation."

Sam settled down and blushed. "Oh. So, talk."

Remus sighed. "The conversation did surprise me quite a bit. I didn't know what to think. I don't want to be your rebound crush."

Sam looked shocked. "Do you honestly believe I would do that?"

"I don't know. You may not think you would but you've liked Sirius for so long and then you decide you have to get over him and then you kiss me. What do you think I'm forced to believe?"

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry you believe that. That was never my intention. Maybe…maybe it would be best if I didn't go to the ball with you after all."

"No, Sam. I made you a promise. I intend to keep it!"

Sam shook her head. "It's alright, Remus. I'm letting you off the hook."

Remus nodded solemnly. "We're still friends, right?"

Sam smiled weakly. "Of course, Remus. No matter what, we are still friends."

Remus smiled and said goodnight.

Sam let a tear slip down when she thought she was alone but Sirius walked through the portrait hole that very moment.

"Detention with Filch is the worst. Polishing those damn awards. Hours upon hours of pure torture." Sirius stopped his rant once he saw Sam wipe her eyes.

"Sammy, are you ok?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. I just told Remus that I've decided not to go to the ball with him."

"Aw, Sam, I'm sorry. I know how much you were starting to like him."

He hugged her tightly and was trying his best to comfort her.

"He told me that you two heard my conversation with Lily. He said he didn't want to be my rebound crush. I would never do that, Sirius! You have to believe me!"

Sirius looked down at her and slightly smiled. "I know you wouldn't. You aren't that type of person. He is just confused, is all. He'll get over it. Now, what are you going to do about the ball? I wish I could take you but I already asked that Sarah Rudolph girl from Hufflepuff."

Sam shrugged. "It doesn't matter now." She looked up at Sirius and he wiped her eyes. She smiled but soon realized what she was starting to feel again. "T-Thank you, Sirius. I'd better go get some sleep."

Sirius looked curiously at her and followed her to the staircase. He noticed that she was under some mistletoe and couldn't help himself. Thinking it was, of course, the right thing to do, he stopped her before she went to bed. "Samantha?"

She turned to face him. "Yes?"

He took a deep breath before saying. "You're standing under mistletoe." He leaned in and kissed her briefly on the lips. He moved back and smiled. "Happy Christmas. Goodnight."

He left her standing there in shock. She was blushing from head to toe. Things seemed clearer than ever. She loved Sirius. And she always will. Remus was partially right. She was desperate to get over Sirius for her own sanity but Remus was no rebound crush. Samantha was confused like never before. She glanced around and sighed deeply. One conflicting thought after another. Before she went to her room, she settled on one parting thought. "Oh boy, I'm in trouble."

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Samantha was walking the grounds alone, thinking. She knew she was still in love with Sirius and that she cared for Remus, more than a friend should.

Sam walked for what seemed like hours. Right now, she should have been getting ready for the ball. Her mother sent the most gorgeous crimson robes. She was so excited for Sam and wanted her to send plenty of photos. Now, she was going to disappoint her mother.

Sam wandered aimlessly, not really watching where she was going. She bumped into someone and sent their belongings flying.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" Sam said without looking up. She was bending down to help put the person's belongings back into the bag when their voice stopped her.

"Sam? It's alright, no harm done."

Sam looked up to see Michael Lewis smiling down at her. "Oh Michael, I'm really sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going."

Michael laughed. "I kind of figured."

Sam smiled. "Why aren't you getting ready for the ball? You're going with Lupin, aren't you?"

Sam shook her head. "We decided not to go together. Are you going?"

Michael smiled. "I didn't ask anyone. The girl I wanted to go with had a date."

Sam continued to help him pick up his papers and didn't notice he was smiling at her. "Oh, really? Is it anyone I know?"

"Yeah. It's you."

Sam choked. "M-Me?"

Michael let out a small laugh. "Yeah, you. I know it seems weird, a third year liking a second year but I can't help it. Sam, would you go to the ball with me?"

Sam inwardly groaned. The last thing she needed was more confusing thoughts. "Look, Michael, you are a really great guy but I've had a very difficult week. I don't want to lead you on or anything."

Michael held up his hand to stop her. "Sam, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm only asking you for one date, that's all. So, what do you say?"

Sam considered this for a moment before smiling. "Yeah, I guess that would be okay."

Michael smiled right back at her. "I'll meet you in the Great Hall at seven?"

Sam nodded. "I'll see you then."

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"Why are you going with that prat?" Sirius asked angrily.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Because he asked me. I wanted to go and I needed someone who wasn't in my brother's inner circle for once. Plus, he asked me because he wanted to not because I had to beg him."

Sirius groaned. "I understand but why him?"

Sam rolled her eyes at him. "He's a nice guy who's actually interested in me. I figured I would go for a boy who actually wanted to be with me for a change. Now, get over it! I have to go get ready."

Sirius followed her to the staircase and once again she was standing under the mistletoe. Without any warning, he turned her around and kissed her. They separated and this time he didn't make a quick getaway.

Sam groaned. "You've really got to stop doing that. Don't worry, my crush on you is still intact." And with that, she went upstairs to get ready for her date with Michael.

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Lily walked down into the common room wearing gorgeous emerald green robes. Her fiery red hair was pulled into a French twist. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. She saw Remus sitting alone in his dress robes, looking depressed.

"Hello Remus. My, my, don't you look handsome."

Remus looked up and his eyes bulged at the sight of her. "Lily, wow, y-you look…wow."

Lily blushed. "Why, thank you, Remus. Are you ready for the ball?"

Remus shrugged. "I suppose so. It doesn't matter really. I was only going because Sam wanted to. Now, she doesn't even want to talk to me."

Lily looked slightly uncomfortable. "Well, you did accuse her of using you. That would upset anyone. She'll get over it. I think she just needs to spend a little time away from her brother's friends. That's why I think it's nice she is now going with Michael to the ball. It will help her get over you and Sirius."

Remus nodded. "Maybe you're right. Who are you going with?"

Lily laughed. "You. Don't worry; I made sure it was ok with Sam, first. She didn't want you to be the only one not going."

Remus sighed. "Oh ok. I hope you know I didn't mean to hurt her."

Lily gave him a gentle smile. "I know and she does too. Now, let's go to the ball."

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Michael waited anxiously at the bottom of the stairs for Sam. He rolled his eyes for the fifth time when he saw Sirius, and James giving him dirty looks. He didn't care what they thought. All he cared about was being with Sam tonight. Everyone, including Michael, knew of her love for Sirius Black and her crush on Remus Lupin. All the boys who thought she was cute didn't want to waste their time on a hopeless case. Michael was different. He'd always like challenges and Sam was the biggest one of all. He liked her a lot and was determined for her to like him in the same way.

He looked up, hoping she was there. He got what he wanted. Same was flowing down the stairs in deep crimson robes with her hair pulled back and curls cascading all around. He couldn't breath; all he could do was stare.

"Hello, Michael. You look very handsome."

He blushed and couldn't speak. All that Michael could do was make hand gestures and grunt. She smiled brightly at him and took his hand.

He was aware that James, Sirius, and Remus were staring in shock at her appearance. That wasn't what pleased him. What pleased him was that Sam seemed oblivious to the people who were staring at her.

They walked into the Great Hall and said hello to her friends Lily, Patty, Lilac, and Mary. They sat with a mix of their friends adjacent to the table where her brother and his friends sat. Sam seemed more interested in talking with him than what they were doing at her brother's table.

Michael and Samantha had a lovely time. They danced and talked often. They were only interrupted briefly by Sirius and James both wanting a dance with her. She made each of the interactions brief so she could get back to Michael quicker.

Remus was waiting anxiously to steal a few moments alone with Sam. He took his chance when Michael went to get them more refreshments.

"Hello, Sam."

She turned to look at him and he was pleased to see her smiling brightly at him. "Hello, Remus. You look very handsome tonight."

He blushed slightly. "T-Thank you. You look amazingly beautiful."

Her blush matched her dress perfectly. "Thank you. Are you having a good time with Lily?"

He smiled, knowing she wasn't mad at him. "Yes, I am. Are you? With Michael?"

"Yes, I am. He is a lot of fun."

Remus looked around awkwardly. "About last night-"

"Remus, don't. I understand and agree with you completely."

Remus looked at her suspiciously. "You do?"

Sam laughed. "Yes. My crush for you is real, that's true. My feelings for Sirius drive me crazy. I think it's best if I stop getting crushes on my brother's best mates. The only one left is Peter. And I won't ever let that happen. I need to go outside the inner circle and meet someone new."

"Lily said the same exact thing earlier."

"She was the one who told me that."

They both laughed and stared at each other. "Are we okay? Are we still friends?" Remus asked timidly.

Sam smiled. "Of course. No matter what, we will always be friends. Oh, there's Michael. I'd better go. Have fun tonight, Remus." She gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before going to be with Michael.


	8. Chapter 7: The Second Cold War

Chapter 7: The Second Cold War.

Michael and Sam decided to leave the ball early and walk around the grounds.

Michael had been very quiet since the last dance Sam had with Sirius. He watched them like hawk. He saw the way Sirius acted with her, how he made her blush. No wonder she had a crush on him, he made it impossible for her not to get over him.

"Michael?"

Michael snapped out of his daze and turned to face her. She looked unsure and he felt bad that he wasn't speaking. "Yes?"

"Are you angry with me? For dancing with Sirius again, I mean?"

Michael sighed. "No, I'm not. I've just realized why you can't seem to get over him."

"Why's that?"

"Because he doesn't let you. He keeps giving you scraps and when you look some other place for something different, he gives you a bigger scrap so you don't lose interest. He likes that you want to be with him but he doesn't want to be with you."

His heart broke when he saw tears rise in her eyes but he didn't stop there. "I saw him kiss you but he left with that Hufflepuff girl. You have to get over him, Sam! It's not healthy for you to be so in love with someone who only cares when you're not paying attention to his every move! I only want what's best for you."

Sam let a tear slip down her cheek before angrily wiping it away. "You want what's best for me? Then, why are you deliberately trying to hurt me?"

"Sam, I'm not-"

"Yes, you are! Don't you think I know what you're saying is true? Don't you think I wished I never felt this way about him? I'm only twelve and he has already ruined me for life! I like you, Michael. I really do, but unless there's a sign, a big one, telling me to give up on Sirius, I'm stuck."

She left him there with his mouth hanging wide open. She ran into an empty hallway and saw Remus kissing a third year girl from Ravenclaw. She ducked into an empty classroom and saw Sirius kissing that Hufflepuff girl.

_"Oh you've got to be kidding me!"_ She thought to herself while inwardly groaning. She tried to leave as quietly as possible but stumbled into a desk, letting a glass jar shatter on to the floor.

"What the-" said the Hufflepuff girl, breaking away from Sirius.

"Sam! What the hell are you doing in here!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here when I came in."

Sirius grabbed her arm and dragged her into a corner. "This has got to stop! I know you think you love me but following me around is not the way. I only kissed you those times to make you feel better about yourself. Sam, you need to get over me!"

Sam couldn't believe it. What turned from the worst day into the best was now going back to the worst! She had had enough. "Get over yourself!"

Sirius looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"I said, get over yourself! If you must know, Sirius, why I'm in here, I'll tell you. Michael and I got into a fight and I walked down the hallway to be alone and I saw Remus snogging some Ravenclaw girl. I came in here to give them privacy and that's where I walked in on you two. No ulterior motives. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find Michael to apologize!"

Sam left Sirius alone looking flabbergasted.

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Michael waited out fro a few minutes to get his thoughts together before going back in. He knew he shouldn't have let his jealousy get the best of him but he couldn't help it. He finally decided to go back in and that's when he saw Sam, running up to him with puffy red eyes. "Sam! Are you alright?"

Sam let a tear slip out and run down her cheek. "Michael, you were right about everything!" She threw her arms around his neck and he held her before suggesting going into an empty classroom to talk. They found one near by and sat down, facing one another. She told him everything that happened after she left. He held her while she cried harder than before. "When I saw him kissing her, it was like my heart broke over and over again. The things he said to me!"

Michael continued to hold her while trying to calm her down. "I know what you're going through. I know what it's like to care for someone who doesn't care for you."

He saw the look on her face. "No! I-I didn't mean it like that!"

"I do care for you, Michael. And I feel bad because with Sirius and Remus invading my thoughts and they are always around, I've never given you a fair shot."

"So, you like me too?" She saw his smile and nodded.

"I do but I'm not ready to. I went from Sirius to Remus back to Sirius, only to end up with liking them both. I need help to get over them. I need a friend!"

Michael nodded. "I understand. I want to be that friend. I really do. And if one day, we feel the same about each other then maybe we can be together."

Sam smiled. "Thank you, Michael. You're really an amazing guy."

He smiled and then kissed her on the lips. "W-What was that?" She asked.

Michael blushed. "So we could see what kissing each other was like." Sam leaned in and gave him a brief but meaningful kiss. They walked out hand in hand to go back to their rooms.

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Time flew by after the Christmas ball. Sam spent all of her free time with her friends, Michael and his friends. Every time she saw Sirius, he would try to catch her eye but she would ignore him and turn the other way.

James was also feeling neglected by her and he didn't understand why she had been ignoring them, her first friends, for the past four months. He waited for her in the common room. It seemed lately she would hang out all night in the library with Michael. Tonight was no exception. He saw her smiling when she walked in. He knew this would be his only chance to really talk to her alone before the end of term. "Sam?"

Sam jumped. "J-James? What are you doing?"

James sighed. "I'm waiting for you. I think we need to talk. Why have you been ignoring me?"

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just so much has happened and I made some new friends. I thought you'd be happy that I wasn't following you lot around so much."

"That's not true! I thought I'd done something to make you upset…again."

Sam blushed. "No, it wasn't anything you did. I'm really sorry, James."

He nodded. "It's alright. I suppose you were bound to get your own life eventually. I just didn't think it would be this soon… Why have you been spending so much time with that prat Lewis?"

Sam was thrown for a moment by the quick change of subject. "He's a good guy."

James waited for her to continue. She sighed. "If I told you the whole truth, you would be upset."

James looked at her suspiciously. "Tell me everything. Unless it is really bad, I promise not to get upset." Sam sat down right next to her brother and told him everything, especially how sweet and supportive Michael had been. "I'll kill him!"

Sam was shocked by his outburst. "Why?He's been so good to me!"

James angrily shook his head, "Not Michael, you git! I meant Sirius and Remus for hurting you like that! If anything, I like Michael more for being there for you."

Samantha beamed at her older brother. "Thank you, James. But please, don't be mad at them, they're your best mates! I don't want to get in between that anymore than I already have."

"But they hurt you!"

"I don't believe they meant to. James, forgive them, please."

James growled. "All right. I'll do my best! But please, start talking to me again. I've missed you a lot!"

Sam hugged her older brother tightly. "I promise! I love you, James! Goodnight."

James went to bed a few moments later feeling a little better knowing his little sister wasn't mad at him, and that she had a good friend like Michael to help her through this tough time.

When he walked into his room, he had to resist a very strong urge to push both Sirius and Remus out of their beds. Instead, he stuck with his promise he made to Sam and went straight to sleep.

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The next morning Sam and Michael were walking to breakfast together when they saw James waving at them. Michael looked suspiciously at him.

"You don't think he is going to hex me again, do you? Because those boils took a month to go away last time."

Sam laughed. "No, he won't. I told him everything and I think he actually likes you for helping me out."

James walked up to them, despite the groans of Sirius and Remus. He hugged Sam and said good morning. He looked at Michael for a moment before putting out his hand. Michael looked at him for a moment before taking James' hand and smiling. James leaned in and whispered. "Thank you for taking good care of her." James walked away towards his friends. When Sirius and Remus asked what that was about, James loudly replied. "Oh shove off!"

Michael walked her over to the Gryffindor table where James saved her a seat, which was in between him and her friends but across from both Sirius and Remus. She smiled at her brother and talked with her friends. Michael and his friends told them that they'd walk them to their Transfiguration class on the way to Charms after breakfast.

"You're so lucky to be with Michael, Sam." Said Lilac.

Sam heard Remus and Sirius choke on their breakfast. "I'm not with Michael, we are just friends. If you want, I'll put in a good word for you."

Sam turned to get her text book out of her bag when she saw James whispering to Peter, who looked fearfully at Remus and Sirius before reluctantly nodding. She shrugged and looked down at the book and that's when she heard two separate splats.

James was happy that Sam agreed to sit next to him and even happier when she and her friends included him into the conversation. The only problem was that Sirius and Remus were openly gaping at his sister. That's when he got the idea. He talked Peter into it, which usually didn't take much effort. They each scooped up some porridge and flung them at Remus and Sirius. They both got it right in their eyes.

James turned and saw Sam and her friends laughing hysterically. "What the bloody hell was that for!" "Peter! What the hell?" He heard Remus and Sirius exclaim simultaneously.

James looked at their horrified faces and smiled. "You know why." He got up, with Peter following, said goodbye to his sister and left for Charms. On his way out, he nodded to Michael, who was on his way to get Sam.

When Michael got there he saw Remus and Sirius cleaning themselves up and looking anxiously at Sam. Sam was still laughing hard and got up with her friends when she saw him.

Sirius and Remus stared after her. Sirius saw her Transfiguration book on the table and picked it up. He heard footsteps running back to the table. He looked up and saw Sam staring at the book in his hands.

"Hey Sam! I saw that you left this behind."

Sam nodded and held out her hand. He didn't hand the book over but continued to talk. "I think we need to talk. Are you free after dinner?"

He heard her sigh. She shook her head and continued to hold out her hand. "Come on, Sam. We need to talk."

"Hello, Sam." She turned and saw Remus looking at her expectantly. She felt a twinge of panic. She was surrounded by the two people she didn't want to speak to. She nodded a hello and kept her hand out for Sirius to give back her book.

Remus cleared his throat to get Sam's attention. Sam turned to look at him and waited for him to speak. "I was wondering if you had any free time later, so we could talk?"

Remus could have sworn he heard Sirius mutter under his breath. "Good luck with that, mate."

He saw Sam start to shake her head but he quickly added. "It's about that thing I told you about at Christmas? The thing I only told you about."

She looked curiously at him for a moment before nodding. "After dinner all right with you? I've just got to let Michael know."

Remus nodded while Sirius stared open mouthed at her. "You've got to be kidding me! Why do you talk to him and not me! We were both kissing other girls!"

Sam pretended she didn't hear him and continued talking to Remus. "After dinner. Where should we meet?"

"Right outside. We could go for a walk on the grounds. If that's all right with you?"

She thought about this for a moment before reluctantly nodding. She then turned to Sirius and stuck her hand out. "My book?"

"No! Not until you agree to talk to me."

"We are talking."

Sirius growled. "You know what I mean."

Sam sighed. "I know what you mean. But I spend all my time with my friends, Michael, his friends, James, and now I have to squeeze in Lupin, I'm afraid I'm jam packed until the end of term."

"Sam, what's taking so long?" asked Michael walking up to them.

"Sirius won't give me my book back."

"Hand it over, Black."

"Make me."

Michael lunged at him and Sirius moved out of the way, causing Michael to fall to the floor. Sam saw Sirius and Remus laugh. She ripped her book from Sirius' hands and hit him on the side with it. "Ow! What the hell was that for!" Sam also hit Lupin with her book which caused the same reaction.

She bent down and helped Michael up. He leaned on her for a minute before standing up fully on his own. "Are you ok, sweetie?" She asked him quietly. Sirius and Remus scowled when they heard the concern in her voice. Michael nodded and Sam turned her attention to the others.

They saw the look on her face and Sirius was the first to speak up. "Why are you looking at us like that? We didn't do anything wrong!"

"The only thing you two are accused of is being the biggest prats in the school. You purposely egged him on!"

"No, I didn't!" said Sirius with a smirk threatening to break through.

Sam rolled her eyes. "I have no idea what I ever saw in you two ponces. Come on, Michael, let's go to class."

Michael took her hand in his and started to walk away. "Are we still on for tonight, Sam?" Remus asked quickly.

Michael gave her a look and then they started whispering. Michael shook his head a few times and then after more whispering, he finally nodded. Remus and Sirius looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "Fine. After dinner, in the library. Take it or leave it." Remus reluctantly nodded and then Michael and Sam left for class.

Sirius groaned. "What the hell does she see in that ponce?"

Remus shrugged. "No idea. Whatever it is makes them inseparable. I'm surprised they don't go to the loo together." They looked at each other and started to laugh.

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Remus waited anxiously for Sam in the library. He chose a table in a darkened corner for privacy. The only thing that worried him was that she wasn't going to show up. He turned his head and Sam entered with a big group of people. He sighed and waited for her to notice him. He watched as she pointed to him and rolled her eyes. Michael said something in her ear to cause her to laugh and gave her a kiss on the cheek which made her blush. She sat across from him and waited for him to speak. He moved and sat right next to her. He saw her clench her teeth at this. He didn't know how to start. After a few minutes, he sighed. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him in confusion. "Sorry?"

"I'm sorry. Fro everything. For saying those things to you. For almost ruining the ball for you. For you seeing me with that other girl."

Sam stood up to leave but Remus grabbed her arm. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Sam gave him a scathing look. "You said it was about the other thing. I wouldn't have agreed to talk to you if I knew this is what you really wanted to discuss."

She started to move again but he blocked her. "I was serious when I said I wanted to talk to you about my condition but I first wanted to apologize to you about the other stuff. Sirius filled me in on everything when James and I were wondering why you wouldn't look at any of us."

"James knew?"

"Oh, no. Sirius told me when we were alone. He wasn't sure if you were going to tell him."

Sam nodded. "He cornered me in the common room last night. Made me tell him everything."

Remus nodded. "That explains the porridge."

Sam looked at him and waited for him to begin. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Michael staring in their direction. She glanced at him and smiled. A look of relief swept over him.

"I've told them." That statement snatched her attention right up.

"You what?"

"I told them about my condition. I told them after the Christmas ball. They have taught themselves animal transfiguration so they could help me."

"That's amazing! I told you they would take it well." She patted his hand reassuringly.

"I want to show you something." He dragged her into the stacks while clutching a blank piece of parchment.

They stood in the middle of the stacks and Sam looked at him anxiously. Remus pulled out his wand and muttered. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."

Sam was amazed when she saw words appear on the paper. "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs present the Marauder's Map. What the bloody hell is this?"

"Open it."

Sam looked cautiously at the paper before opening it. She couldn't believe her eyes. It read that Dumbledore was in his office, pacing. "He seems to do that a lot." Offered Remus.

She was shocked. She happily gazed at the map. "Who are Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs anyway?"

"I'm Moony. Peter's Wormtail because he can transform into a rat. Padfoot is Sirius because he becomes a dog." Sam snorted at that that. "James is Prongs because he is a stag."

Sam was overwhelmed. She didn't know what came over her but before she could stop herself, she had Remus in a tight hug. She kissed him on the cheek and then broke apart. She seemed to realize what she did and took a step away. "I'm really happy for you, Remus. I do have to get back to my friends. I'll see you around."

Remus watched her walk away from him to her friends. He saw Michael put his arms around her as she sat down. He saw him whisper in her ear and saw her nod. He saw Michael kiss her and that's when Remus knew he definitely agreed with Sirius. Michael Lewis was a complete ponce and should be destroyed.

Remus walked back to the common room and saw Sirius sitting at one of the tables. He had his head bent over some parchment.

He sat down across from him and sighed. Sirius looked up and stared at his friend. "How's the weather?"

Remus sighed. "Icy with brief moments of sunshine."

Sirius sighed and went back to his work while Remus started some work of his own.


	9. Chapter 8: Taking Notice

Chapter 8: Taking Notice.

It was time again to leave Hogwarts for the summer holiday. Sam continued to ignore Remus and Sirius. They tried almost everything to get her to talk to them but she wouldn't budge.

When they boarded the train, Sirius and Remus purposely followed her. This quickly stopped when they saw Michael. She practically ran to him just to get away from the two of them.

They saw him hug her and give her a quick kiss on the lips. "James, did you see that?" grumbled Sirius.

They saw James shrug. "They are just friends. Friends hug, what's the big deal?" James left them gaping in his direction.

"You know, I'm not sure I like his attitude." Sirius whispered to Remus. Remus nodded in agreement.

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Hours past by when Sam popped into their compartment. "Hey James, can I ask you a quick question?" Sirius and Remus opened their mouths but quickly shut them when they saw Michael standing behind her.

James got up and closed the compartment door behind them. Remus and Sirius glared at the door, watching closely. They saw James shake his head, then laugh and nod. He walked back into the compartment and noticed all eyes were on him. "What?"

Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius glared at his friend before speaking. "Aren't you going to tell us what that was all about?"

James rolled his eyes. "Seriously, you and Moony need a new hobby. She wanted to know how to ask my mum and dad if it was all right to spend most of the summer with Michael and his family."

"What did you say?" Remus asked forcefully.

James smirked. "I told her how."

"Why did you do a stupid thing like that?" Remus and Sirius yelled.

James sighed. "You two need to calm down. She is just friends with him. It's not a big deal." Sirius and Remus sat back. They were both in foul moods for the rest of the trip.

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Sirius went to the Potters after the obligatory two weeks at his parents' house. Sirius was certain that the Potters would never allow Sam to go away for the whole summer with some boy. He planned to spend the summer with James and getting back on Sam's good side. He didn't want to admit it to himself that he missed her always staring at him and blushing. He mostly missed talking to her.

Sirius was surprised to find out how wrong he was when he walked in the Potter's home to find Sam missing.

"She left last night. She was so excited. Michael's family was so sweet to invite her and her friend Lilac. I just know she'll have a wonderful time in Paris." Mrs. Potter gushed. James was smiling. Mr. Potter seemed to be the only one on Sirius' side.

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James and Sirius had a very good summer. Remus was invited to stay as well and joined them a month after Sirius arrived. Peter couldn't come; his parents wanted him to have an educational summer.

They were going to Diagon Alley, and Sirius and Remus were even more excited because they were going to see Sam. They had just arrived when they heard her calling them across the street. "Mum! Dad! James!" She ran over to them and everyone was stunned. Sam had a glowing tan and had grown a few inches. Sirius and Remus stared at her. They stared at the small tank top she was wearing, showing off two big extra growths she went through. She separated from her family and smiled. "I want you to meet someone."

They didn't notice a tall blonde haired blue eyed boy standing behind her."This is Michael's cousin, Patrick Lewis. H-He's my boyfriend." She blushed when she finished her sentence. James and Mr. Potter glanced at each other nervously while Mrs. Potter nearly busted into tears.

Sirius and Remus stared dumbly at the whole scene. "W-What about you and Michael?" stuttered Remus. Sam looked surprised to see them standing there. She hugged them briefly, much to their surprise, and introduced them to Patrick. "What about you and Michael?" Remus repeated.

Sam laughed. "We still care for each other but he's with Lilac." Sirius and Remus both secretly decided that they really did miss Michael, compared to the walking building that was currently holding Sam's hand.

They went to have lunch and that's when the interrogation of Patrick began. Sam felt bad for Patrick. Not only did he have to deal with James and her father but also Sirius and Remus. "So, what house are you in, Patrick?" asked Mr. Potter.

Patrick squirmed in his chair and smiled when Sam patted him reassuringly on his knee. "Well, sir, I'm in Ravelclaw, with Michael."

Mr. Potter nodded before continuing. "What year are you going into?"

Sam and Patrick shifted slightly. "My fifth, sir."

The rest of the table stared at him while Sam looked anywhere else. She knew what was coming and felt really bad for Patrick.

Mr. Potter looked at his son and his friends, who were nodding in his direction, before asking the next question. "Don't you think a fifth year dating a third year is a bit odd?"

Sam gasped. "Daddy! Don't be rude!"

Patrick gave her shoulder a squeeze, which didn't please the other men at the table one bit, and answered. "Well, to be quite honest sir, yes I do."

They gaped at him and he hurried to finish his thought. "W-What I mean, is that, yes it may seem weird but anyone who knows Samantha doesn't see a third year, they see a remarkable person."

Mr. Potter interrupted. "What I see, is my baby girl dating a boy too old for her."

Mr. Potter winced because Mrs. Potter had jabbed him hard in the ribs with her elbow. "What my husband meant to say, Patrick, is that, we care for our only daughter so much and we just want to make sure she is taken care of."

Sam and Mrs. Potter shared a smile. Patrick nodded, which annoyed the men for a reason that they couldn't comprehend. "I understand completely, Mrs. Potter."

Sirius coughed what sounded like "brown noser." James, Remus and Mr. Potter laughed while Sam and Mrs. Potter scowled. "Don't mind those idiots. Tell me about how you two met and got together."

Patrick took hold of Sam's hand and kissed it affectionately. Mrs. Potter swooned at this while James, Sirius, Remus and Mr. Potter rolled their eyes. "Well, I joined my aunt and uncle a week after they arrived in Paris. At first, I didn't want to go but something inside me said I just had to. How glad I am that I listened to that little voice inside me."

"Did you know hearing voices is one of the first signs of insanity?" said Remus with a smirk. The men snickered while the women glared.

"Continue, Patrick." Sam said glaring at them. They straightened in their seats at the look she gave them and went completely silent.

"Well, everyday for a month, the four of us were inseparable. Then Michael and Lilac starting going off alone together, which left Sam and I to get to know each other better than before. We talked about everything." Sirius and Remus saw him glance in their direction before continuing. "We grew a lot closer after our talks. It was two weeks before I asked her to be my girlfriend. Much to my relief, she said yes."

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They left the restaurant and they ran into Lily. Mrs. Potter, Sam and Patrick were talking excitedly with her while James, Sirius, Remus, and Mr. Potter stayed behind. "I think this is all understood between us but I think we should say it anyway." Remus began and Sirius decided to finish for him.

"But what exactly does she see in that raging ponce!" Sirius looked towards Mr. Potter. "Sorry for the language, Mr. Potter."

Mr. Potter shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Sirius. I think James and I completely agree with you and Remus." James nodded in agreement. "I was really hoping that you or Remus would go out with her. I know and trust you both completely with my little girl." said Mr. Potter. Sirius and Remus smiled in surprise.

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The two weeks before school started flew by. Sam came home to spend time with her family. She spent a lot of time with James, Sirius, and Remus. Patrick would also come over some days which greatly annoyed everyone but Mrs. Potter and Sam.

She was genuinely confused by Sirius and Remus. Even though they still acted as normal as ever, she would notice that they would stare at her oddly. She even caught them staring at her chest a few times.

It was the night before they had to go back to school and Sam was just getting out of the shower. She heard the boys laughing loudly outside the door. As she was reaching for her towel, the door banged open. She stood there frozen while Sirius and Remus stared at her, open mouthed. She saw them look her up and down, taking in everything. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her body, tightly. She couldn't believe that they were still standing there gaping at her. "Get out, you gits! I'm still naked here!"

The only reason they moved was because she pushed them out while clinging to her towel. They only started to blink when they heard the door slam. "Holy shit!" Sirius whispered in what appeared to be an excited voice.

"I never imagined she looked like that!" said Remus. Sirius nodded. They looked at each other before smiling.

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Their farewell dinner was a rather funny event. Sam sat next to Remus and across from Sirius and James. Whenever Sirius or Remus caught her eye or they accidentally touched hands, the three of them would blush.

James rolled his eyes after the twelfth time this happened. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you three?"

"James Ignaius Potter! Language!" scolded Mrs. Potter while Sirius and Remus snickered.

"_Ignaius_?" laughed Sirius.

James scowled. "Oh shut up! What is wrong with you lot?"

Sam laughed nervously. "Sirius and Remus barged in on me after my shower. They saw me naked."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter choked on their dinner while James glared at his friends. "What?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly, no one enjoyed it, James. We all wish to forget it ever happened, right?" Sirius and Remus inwardly disagreed with her statement but awkwardly nodded. James didn't believe it for a moment.

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Remus, Sirius, and James found a compartment all to them and were surprised to find out that Sam was joining them. "Yeah, Patrick was made prefect, so he had to go to the meeting. Once he's done he is coming to get me and we're going to join our friends." Sirius and Remus nodded while James watched his friends suspiciously.

They talked mostly about Quidditch and Sam happily reported that Patrick was made the Quidditch captain for Ravenclaw. This news was responded with grumbles from the others. "It's going to be hard to know who to root for when Gryffindor and Ravenclaw play against one another." She saw the looks on their faces and laughed. "I'm only joking. Of course, I'm going to cheer on James and Sirius. I'll just tell Patrick that I was cheering him on."

Their conversation continued and Sam noticed Sirius and Remus were staring at her exposed knees and blushed. James seemed to notice this as well because barely a second later he pushed her skirt down to cover her knees.

Sam rolled her eyes and then quickly smiled and blushed. Patrick had just walked into the compartment. The boys scowled in his direction while Sam stood and took his hand. "How'd it go, baby?" She asked sweetly.

He grinned in her direction while the boys made gagging motions to each other. Patrick caught these motions and scowled in their direction. "Ok, I suppose. A bit boring after a while but I'm free for now. I just have to patrol in an hour but I don't see why we can't leave and sit with our friends."

She said goodbye to the boys and left with Patrick. They noticed that he put his hands a little too close to an inappropriate area. They wanted to punch him. They saw him kiss her deeply outside the closed compartment door and they groaned loudly; especially since they saw her blushing happily. "Boy, is it just me or don't you all miss Michael?" asked Remus. James and Sirius nodded while Peter looked oblivious.


	10. Chapter 9: Don't Let It Go To Your Head

Chapter 9: Don't Let It Go To Your Head.

It was three weeks into the semester. They were sitting down to dinner and were surprised when Lily sat down next to them and groaned loudly. She turned to look at James and asked. "What exactly does your sister see in that prat Lewis?"

James shrugged. "No idea, really. I was really hoping that she would have dumped him by now. Why do you ask?"

Lily looked at the end of the Great Hall and they followed her gaze. They saw Sam and Patrick talking. Actually, Patrick was talking while Sam nodded dejectedly. "I just overheard him tell her, for the tenth time that she shouldn't eat so much anymore because he was afraid she would get fat, and she agreed! When was the last time she took crap from anyone?"

They all scowled together. "The day after never." said Sirius, gripping his cup too hard.

"That ass! When I asked her about it after the first time, she said that he was just looking after her well being. What kind of shit is that?" They were staring at Lily, amazed. They couldn't believe Lily actually agreed with them and they couldn't believe the language she used.

"For once, Evans, I believe we agree on something." Said James. Lily beamed at him and he blushed.

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"You could do so much better than him! You're worth twenty of him!" exclaimed Sirius.

Later that night, Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily confronted Sam after she came back from the library hanging out with her friends, Michael, his friends, and Patrick. "He's right, you know. You're too good for him." said Remus. Sirius, James, and Lily all nodded in agreement.

"Sam, you're my sister and I love you. This guy is no good!"

"Listen to them, Sam. They are right. You don't need someone telling you what to wear, how to put your hair, and what to eat. You need someone to love you as you are. You can do so much better." said Lily.

Sam was quiet up until now. She couldn't believe they were trying to ruin this for her. She stood up and they went silent, secretly praying their words of concern got through to her. "I can't believe you all. I've finally found someone who truly cares for me and you're trying to ruin it! Patrick isn't perfect and neither am I. We are happy together."

"You can't possibly be!" grunted Sirius.

Sam glared at him. "What do you care! The only reason you care is because I'm falling in love with someone else. Same goes to Remus!" Sirius and Remus stared in shock.

"You're falling in love with him?" Remus exclaimed.

"Yes! James, you're my brother, so I've basically expected this. Lily, you are my best friend! I can't believe you want to take this away from me! Patrick told me he loved me! He says he wants to be with me forever! Why would he say that, if you think, he doesn't care for me?"

They gaped at her. They couldn't believe how thick she was being. "Either you accept my relationship with Patrick or our friendships are over!"

"You can't mean that." whispered Lily. She looked completely devastated.

Sam looked at her best friend and almost cried. "I do. I love you all. Some more than I should." Sirius and Remus looked away from her. "But I'm with Patrick and if you can't accept that then you can't accept me."

She got up and walked out. They were silent for a few moments before Sirius spoke up. "No offense, mate, but you're sister is acting like a stupid git."

All he got were nods from the rest of them.

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(a week later)

Sam and Patrick kept a united front. She was amazed how Sirius, Remus, and Lily refused to talk to her. James was different.

They were talking one night when she asked why he was still speaking to her. "Because every year since you have started Hogwarts we had incidents of not speaking. I call them the worst times of my life. I may not like Patrick but I love you." Sam hugged her brother. James continued. "But if I hear he speaks to you in any disrespecting way again, I'm going to punch him all the way back to his first year."

Sam laughed and hugged James again. "I promise, he won't."

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Lily was sitting alone in the library and saw Sam with her friends and Patrick. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She honestly didn't know what Sam saw in Patrick. Sure, he was handsome as ever and she supposed he could be charming but she knew he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Lily noticed that Sam was staring at her with a sad look on her face. Lily missed her best friend desperately but she had to stick to her guns. Patrick was a complete creep and didn't deserve to lick the crap off of Sam's shoe. She was happy that Remus and Sirius were on her side. They didn't give into Sam's threats. Lily also understood why James still talked to her. She knew the times where Sam didn't speak to him were complete torture for both of them.

"Can we sit with you?" Lily looked up and saw James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter staring at her. She smiled and nodded. James quickly sat down next to her and in spite of herself, she smiled.

Lily saw Sam looking at them, longingly. Lily really did feel bad but Sam needed to realize that they were only looking out for her best interest.

Lily saw Remus staring at Sam. It seemed to her that Remus finally realized how completely smitten he was with Sam. Of course, she knew that he always had a small crush on her but was scared when he realized she felt the same way. When James and Sirius got up to look something up, she took the opportunity to speak to Remus.

"How are you holding up?"

Remus looked startled for a moment before speaking. "W-What do you mean?"

She looked at him knowingly. "When did you finally realize you were in love with Sam?"

Remus looked shocked. He started to stutter but she stopped him. "Don't worry. I honestly think that James and Sirius are too thick to know this."

Remus smiled. "I guess you're right. I think I finally realized when I saw her in Diagon Alley before the summer holiday was over. I could also pin point it to when Sirius and I saw her naked."

Lily choked and coughed. "W-What?"

Remus filled her in on the whole story and Lily laughed out loud. "She honestly thought that you and Sirius didn't enjoy it?"

Remus shook his head. "I highly doubt it. I think she just said that so her dad and James wouldn't get upset."

James and Sirius returned with some books. They glanced over to where Sam was sitting with the ponce and saw they were leaving. Sirius and Remus shared a looked and left, leaving James and Lily by themselves.

They smiled awkwardly at each other and continued to work in silence.

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Sirius and Remus were looking for Sam and Patrick.

They walked for several minutes before walking through an empty corridor. They heard moaning. They looked at each other nervously.

Remus and Sirius saw movement behind a pillar and went to check it out. They saw Sam and Patrick snogging like rabbits. They couldn't see his hands.

Sirius pulled Patrick off of Sam and he saw her left breast exposed. She stood in utter disbelief. "S-Sirius! Remus! What are you doing!"

Sirius and Remus were gazing at her exposed left breast but quickly recovered. Sirius gripped Patrick tightly at the scruff of his neck. "I'm going to take Patrick, here, for a little walk. Moony, you take her back to the common room. When I get back, the three of us are going to have a little chat."

Sam and Remus saw Sirius dragging Patrick down the hallway to the Ravenclaw portrait entrance. Remus turned to Sam. He noticed that her breast was still out in the open. He didn't know what came over him but he softly ran his finger across it and guided it back into her shirt. He buttoned her blouse and all she did was stare. "R-Remus…?"

He leaned in and kissed her deeply. Remus felt her partially kiss him back. When they parted, she slapped him across his face.

"H-How dare you! You know I'm with Patrick! Why would you do that?"

He kissed her again with a little more force. He heard her moan in pleasure before pushing him off. She slapped him again. "Why do you keep doing that! Why can't you stop?"

Remus looked at her with such passion that she almost couldn't breath. "I'll stop when you stop kissing back!" He growled.

She looked shocked. "Why d-do you keep doing that?" She asked in a small voice.

Remus ran a hand through his hair. "Because I'm in love you, you git!"

"You're what?"

Remus sighed. "I'm in love with you. I have been for a while."

"W-Why didn't you tell me?"

He saw her looking at him in what he assumed was shock. "When I finally figured it out and got up the courage to tell you, you introduced us to your _boyfriend_."

They finally started to walk back to the common room. "Remus?"

He gave her a sideway glance. She continued. "I'm sorry. If I wasn't with Patrick, I would be so thrilled."

"What are you feeling now?"

She sighed and turned to face him. "Confusion. I guess I felt confusion ever since I came to Hogwarts."

They entered to the empty common room and waited for Sirius in deafening silence.

Sirius strolled in five minutes later, looking rather smug. He saw them sitting on opposite ends of the couch. He sat down in front of them and noticed a big red mark on Sam's neck. He glared. "He gave you a hickey!"

Sam slightly blushed. "So what? People get them all the time."

"You don't!" growled Sirius. He wished Remus would say something instead of just sitting there in what seemed to be discomfort. "Samantha! This has got to stop! You are too smart to be acting so stupid!"

Sam glared at him. "Why is it that when I finally find someone who cares for me, I'm being stupid! You have a different girlfriend every week and it's just Sirius being Sirius!"

Sirius gritted his teeth. "It's different! You are just a girl and I'm-"

"A boy! What kind of crap is that?"

"You are too young and moving too fast with that prat!"

Sam scoffed. "You don't know anything about what we have been doing together! You act like we're blowing off classes so we can shag like bunnies!" Sirius opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted him. "Don't even think about asking what I know you're going to ask me!"

"Have you and he…?" interjected Remus.

She nervously looked at him before replying. She smiled when she answered. "No. He wants to but I'm not ready. I will only do that when I'm in love with someone."

Remus looked up in astonishment and saw her giving him a knowing look. He beamed with excitement. Sirius sat there, confused. "You know, I think you both have gone completely nutters!" Sirius stormed off to bed, leaving the two of them alone.

"Y-You want me to shag you?" stuttered Remus.

Sam laughed out loud. "That's all you've got out of that?"

Remus blushed. "No. Just all the important points."

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry but you have to know that I do care for Patrick and I want to see how things go with him."

Remus looked like he had just been punched in the gut. "I-I guess I have to understand. Hopefully, all works out, and you leave him."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Thanks for those sweet words."

She moved closer to him. "But before I go back to Patrick, I think I have to do this."

She leaned in and kissed him. It only took him a second to respond. The finally separated five minutes later. They looked deeply into their eyes and leaned in again. Before they could kiss, Lily stormed in.

Lily ran over to Sam. "I know we aren't speaking to each other but I really need my best friend. Sorry to take her away, Remus."

Lily dragged Sam up to her room and put a silencing charm around her bed, so they wouldn't disturb her roommates. "What's this all about?" asked Sam.

Lily hugged Sam tightly. "Firstly, I wanted to say that I know it's only been a week but I've missed my best friend."

Sam hugged her back. "I've missed you too. Now, tell me, what is this all about?"

Lily groaned loudly. "I…uh…kissed your brother."

Sam gasped. "Y-You what!"

Lily nodded sadly. "Yeah, I did."

"W-What the hell happened?"

Lily sighed. "It started after Sirius and Remus left to follow you and Patrick. We were alone and talking about how much I missed talking to you. We finally left the library. We were on our way back to the common room and I started to cry. He hugged me and then out of nowhere I kissed him. He smiled at me and said, and I quote, _'I knew you couldn't resist me!'_"

Sam rolled her eyes. "My brother just doesn't know when to quit."

Lily sighed. "I know. I called him an annoyingly arrogant prat. Then I slapped him and came back here."

Sam never laughed so hard in her life. "Oh Lily, you've just made my year! Honestly, you should just give in and date my brother. Sure, he can be the annoyingly arrogant prat you called him but he is also a very loyal and loving person."

Lily glared at her. "Thanks so much! You're a big help!"

"No need to be sarcastic! Look, you were just upset about the row we had. The kiss didn't mean anything except a moment of weakness. Nothing more, nothing less."

Lily smiled at her. "You're completely right! There's no reason for me to act so irrational. It will never happen again."

Sam left Lily after that and wished Lily would finally realize how perfect James was for her. But she knew things like this had to take their time.


	11. Chapter 10: Waiting In The Wings

Chapter 10: Waiting In The Wings.

It was getting closer to Halloween, Patrick and Sam were still together, much to the annoyance of everyone, especially Remus.

He would occasionally see her catching quick looks at him. This, of course, pleased him greatly but he wished she would break up with Patrick so they could be together.

They all noticed how Sam and Patrick were fighting almost everyday and they were happy because it might mean the end of them for good.

James, Remus, and Sirius were getting ready for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. Peter had detention with Professor Slughorn because his potion burned through his cauldron and all over his desk. The potion ate through the desk and the floor.

They were walking a few feet behind Lily, Lilac, Patty, Mary, Sam, and the unfortunate Patrick. Sam was talking to Mary, and when Patrick pinched her butt, she stopped talking and turned towards him. She yelled at him for a few minutes, and they were lucky enough to catch a few of the insults.

"Can't keep your hands to yourself! Need to keep it in your pants! Always around and never give me a moment of peace!" She left him standing there, confused.

James, Sirius, and Remus were howling with laughter. They saw him running to catch up with her, yelling. "What did I do!"

"Hey! Wait up!" They turned to see Michael running up to them.

"Hello, Michael." Said James. Remus and Sirius nodded a hello.

"I need to talk to you three about Sam and my ponce of a cousin."

They looked at him, shocked. "You don't want her to be with him either?" asked Sirius, sounding surprised.

Michael nodded. "When she told me they started dating, I begged her to think about it. I warned her what a complete git he was but she wouldn't listen. She said she finally cared for someone who wasn't a friend of her brother's. She said we wouldn't be friends anymore if I continued to bad mouth him to her. So, I decided to keep my mouth shut and still be her friend. But I can't keep quiet about this anymore."

They stopped walking and leaned in to listen closely. "What are you talking about?" asked James.

Michael looked around to see id his cousin or Sam was around. "Well, last night, I was in the corner of the common room doing my work when Patrick came in laughing with his friends. There were talking about their bet."

"Bet? What are you talking about?" asked Sirius.

Michael sighed. "Patrick and his friends made a bet that Patrick couldn't sleep with Sam before the Christmas ball."

"What the hell!" exclaimed Remus.

"I know. I confronted them. James, you know I care deeply for your sister and would never want to see her hurt or used."

James nodded. "I know, Michael. You're a good friend to her."

"Thank you. I told him to leave her alone and that she didn't deserve to be treated this way. That's when they threatened me. They said they were getting back at James and Sirius for always hexing them whenever the Professors weren't looking. They said that if I said anything to anyone, they would make me pay. That's when they gave me this." They noticed his black eye.

Sirius was livid. "Those asses! You did the right thing telling us."

Michael was surprised by this. "I care a lot about Sam. She's always there for me when I need it. Whatever you're planning, count me in. Cousin or not, that prat is going down!"

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They followed Patrick around, waiting for the opportunity to get him alone. Finally, they saw Patrick kiss Sam goodbye and went off with his friends.

They saw them go by an old mansion. They heard them laughing.

"Mate, I'm so close. She does everything I say. I convinced her she was getting too fat, so she practically stopped eating! If it wasn't for those prats, Lupin and Black, it would have already happened."

Some dark haired boy laughed. "Yeah, sure. So, I didn't see her berate you in front of everyone for pinching her bum?"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Oh please, that was nothing. It's almost done. She thinks I love her!"

They had heard enough and were ready to pounce.

"You stupid git!" yelled Sirius.

Before anyone knew it, a fight broke out. Professor McGonagall and a few others came running over, trying to break it up.

"Stop! You're all going to Professor Dumbledore's office right now!"

"You better stay away from my sister!" yelled James while Professor Kettleburn pulled him along.

Professor McGonagall turned to Professor Flitwick. "Find Ms. Potter. Bring her to Professor Dumbledore's office at once!"

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Professor Dumbledore looked at each of the boys with such disappointment. Sirius, Remus, James, and Michael felt ashamed. They hated letting down Professor Dumbledore. Patrick and his friends looked like they could care less.

Sam knocked on the door. Professor Flitwick took her out of Zonko's Joke Shop, saying she had to see Professor Dumbledore at once. She didn't know what she did and she was so nervous.

"Please, come in, Ms. Potter."

She walked in awkwardly and was surprised to see James, Remus, Sirius, and Michael on one side of the room and Patrick, with his friends, on the other.

"H-Hello, Professor Dumbledore."

She was pleased to see that he was smiling at her. "Do not worry, Samantha. You are in no trouble. You were simply asked here because it seems these young men had a disagreement over you."

Sam looked around the room and sighed. "Professor Dumbledore, sir? With all due respect, may I speak to these young men in private?"

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "I expect this to be resolved. Oh, and Ms. Potter?"

She looked at him, expectantly. "Yes sir?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Please, stay behind afterwards. So, you and I can talk."

Her eyes widened and quickly nodded. Dumbledore left the room.

"So, what happened?" asked Sam.

Michael told her everything. Sam was in complete shock. Patrick, of course, denied everything.

Sam purposely turned towards her brother. She could see Patrick through the mirror, which he didn't know. "I can't believe you!" She saw Patrick smugly smirking. She knew Michael was telling the truth. She gave her brother and his friends a wink before turning to Patrick. "You are a disgusting, slimy, no good git! I can't believe I went out with you!"

"Sam! They are lying! I love you, why would I lie?"

"They have no reason to lie! To think, I delayed breaking up with you!"

Patrick stared dumbly at her. "You were going to what?"

"I was going to break up with you. Remus and I are in love! I didn't want to hurt you!"

Sirius, Michael, and James gave a hard look at Remus. They saw Sam give them a smile and they relaxed. They believed she was just saying that to hurt him. Remus was thankful for that. "You actually thought I would lower myself to sleep with you! You must be crazy! Don't you dare speak to me again! And if I hear that you even entertain the idea of harassing me, Sirius, James, Remus, or Michael again, I'll hex you all the way back to your first year!" Patrick looked fearful as did his friends. "Now, go!"

They quickly left. Sirius, James, Remus, and Michael all looked at her, amazed. They took turns hugging her tightly. "That was brilliant!" exclaimed Sirius.

Sam looked sadly at them. "I'm really sorry for acting like such a git. Can you all forgive me?"

They laughed. Remus smiled at her. "Of course, we can."

Sam smiled. "You lot better go. Dumbledore wants to speak with me."

They hugged her once more before leaving. She jumped when Professor Dumbledore appeared. "Sorry to frighten you, Ms. Potter."

"N-Not a problem, sir."

Dumbledore smiled while he sat down. She quickly sat down. "I must say I am very confused by what happened today. I asked you to stay behind to enlighten me."

Sam gulped. She filled him in, leaving out certain indecent moments.

Dumbledore smiled at her. "You are a very brave young woman. Standing up to Mr. Lewis like that. It took a lot of…guts, as they say. I hope you realize that I do have to give detention to each of them but Mr. Lewis and his friends will be punished even more. What they planned to do to you is unforgivable. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. I hope you know that you are very lucky to have so many people care about you."

Sam nodded. "I do, even though I didn't act like it."

"I know how much you care for each of them. Especially Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin."

Sam looked away and blushed.

"Sometimes, you must wait for the darkness to turn into light. I do hope you and young Remus are happy together."

Sam looked shocked. "Thank you, sir?"

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Sam walked onto the grounds. She saw James and Sirius play fighting, trying to impress some girls walking by. Michael and Remus were laughing hysterically at the sight of them.

James and Sirius quickly stopped when she approached. "Hey Sammy! How does it feel to be a free woman?" asked Sirius while giving her a big hug.

Sam laughed and pushed him away. "It feels pretty damn good!"

He laughed and picked her up and spun her around. She laughed so hard that tears came to her eyes.

When Sirius finally let go of her, she told them about the meeting with Dumbledore. They stared at her and groaned. She rolled her eyes at them. "You are lucky not to be expelled! He also said Patrick and his band of idiots were getting a more severe punishment for their cruelness towards me."

"Serves them right." Said James while slapping Sirius upside his head.

They went back to play fighting while Remus hugged her tightly. "I'm happy for you." She winked at him and he blushed.

Michael looked at them sadly. He had a feeling that Remus and Sam would be the next couple that Hogwarts would be gossiping about. Michael had a huge crush on Sam. He knew nothing would ever happen between them until she got Remus and Sirius out of her system. He tried dating her friend Lilac but they soon realized that they could only be friends.

Michael saw how Remus and Sam acted with one another and could admit that he was jealous but he wasn't going to jeopardize his relationship with her. "I'm really sorry, Sam."

She broke away from her hug with Remus and smiled at him. "What for?"

"For what my cousin did."

She hugged him. "It's not your fault. Plus, you tried to warn me about him, everyone did. I'm sorry I was too blind to realize how right you all were." Michael beamed at her.

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Every one of Sam's and Michael's friends was ecstatic that they didn't have to deal with Patrick and his friends anymore.

Remus and Sam took a walk around the grounds. They made sure no one was around and held hands.

"Remus? I think we need to talk."

Remus stopped so suddenly, it caused Sam to stumble. "I didn't think it possible to break up with someone before even starting to go out."

Sam kissed his hand and laughed. "I'm not breaking up with you. I just wanted to talk with you about the possibility of us."

Remus sighed in relief. "But, I do think we should start off slow. Take our time with certain things."

Remus smiled down at her. "Of course. I do have to speak with your brother about us."

Sam looked away from him. "M-Maybe we should wait. To get together, I mean. Just to see if what we are feeling for each other isn't just because I was with Patrick and technically forbidden."

Remus couldn't believe what she was saying. "You honestly think that I would like you because you were with someone else?"

"You believed I would use you to get over Sirius!"

Remus groaned. He was never going to live that down. "I'm sorry. I was just confused then but I'm not anymore! I know for a fact that I love you."

She smiled. "I believe you. But I still want to hold off on a relationship for a bit."

"Until when?"

"The Christmas Ball will be our first official date unless we have changed our minds."

Remus groaned. "That's so far away."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're such a baby. It's two months, that's nothing!"

"Can we still kiss?" asked Remus shyly. Sam blushed and stood up on her tiptoes to briefly kiss him but was surprised when he lifted her up and kissed her deeply. She giggled while wrapping her legs around him. "I love you, Remus."

Remus smiled. "I love you too, Sam." He kissed her some more.


	12. Chapter 11: Choices

Chapter11: Choices.

Remus and Sam spent as much as time together as they could. They decided to hide their soon-to-be relationship. They didn't want to make a big deal out of anything but the Christmas Ball was next week and they still had to speak to James about everything.

"Remus, are you sure about this?"

Remus nodded his head but his insides were curled up in fear. "Y-Yes, of course, I am. It would be better if I talked to him alone."

Sam sighed. "Okay. As long as you're sure." She gave him a kiss before leaving for the library.

Remus nervously walked into the common room and stumbled a few times before sitting down across from James and Sirius. "You alright there, Moony? Drinking the fire whiskey again?" laughed Sirius.

Remus barely registered his comment and dumbly nodded. "J-James, can I talk with you? Alone?"

James looked up and stared at his friend. "You alright, Moony? You're looking a little pale."

Remus barely nodded. "Can we?"

"Hey! Why can't I know? Whatever you tell James, I'll find out eventually." said Sirius.

Remus sighed. "Padfoot, you can stay." He took a deep breath while James and Sirius gave each other a look. They had no idea why Moony was acting so weird. "Remember that day when you said whenever I started having feelings for your sister; I should come to talk to you? Well, let's just call this month August."

James and Sirius stared in surprise at him. James simply stared at his friend. "You've liked my sister since August?"

Remus shook his head. "Actually, since last year."

"But then when we found out she liked you, why didn't you ask her out?" asked Sirius.

"Well, to be honest, it frightened me. I wasn't expecting it at all. When I saw her in Diagon Alley this summer, I knew I wasn't scared anymore."

James nodded. Remus didn't know how to take this but decided to continue anyway. "I told her how I felt when Sirius and I found her snogging Patrick in the hall. She decided that even though we lo- cared for each other, she wanted to see how things would work out with Patrick."

Remus stared at his two best friends. They had no expressions on their faces and weren't saying a word. "The day she broke up with him, she decided that _we_ wanted to wait until the Christmas Ball for our first date. We spent all our free together to make sure we still felt the same way. Well, the Christmas Ball is next week and we still feel the same way. So, we decided that it was time for me to have the talk with you. It was my decision for her not to be here."

Remus waited in agony as James sat there, quietly. Sirius was no help at all. All he did was glare at the floor, not saying a word.

"I've known for a while." James said quietly.

Remus stared at him. "Y-You knew? Why didn't you say anything?"

James let out a small laugh. "I was waiting for you two to come to me."

Remus let out a sigh of relief. "So, you are ok with all of this?"

"Of course, I am. Just know that even though you are one of my best friends, if you hurt her, Sirius and I will have to destroy you."

Remus nodded. James laughed. "Moony, I'm only joking. Well, I will hurt you if you break her heart but I am happy for the both of you. You two are right for each other. I'm sure Padfoot is glad to be off the hook."

Remus laughed while Sirius simply nodded. "I'm going to find Sam and let her know all is well between us. She was really worried."

When Remus left, James turned to Sirius and stared at his best friend. "You alright, Padfoot?"

Sirius looked up and nodded slowly. "I'm just fine, Prongs. I was just surprised by the Sam and Moony relationship."

James laughed. "How could you be? It was so obvious whenever you saw them together."

Sirius didn't say anything. All he could do was blush. "Well, I guess I'm much more oblivious than I thought."

James sighed. "You don't have feelings for Sam too, do you?"

Sirius looked up shocked. "Of course not! I only care for her as a friend and she is like a little sister to me."

James looked at him, skeptically. "Are you sure?"

Sirius groaned. "You know, Prongs, I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that I'm in love Sam. I'm not! Even if I was, it wouldn't matter now. She's with Remus."

James nodded and smiled. He knew Sirius still hadn't realized how he truly felt for Sam and he wouldn't for a while. It was obvious that they were meant to be just like Lily and he are. It would take time before this would happen and all anyone could do was wait.

Remus waited anxiously in the common room. He took his time preparing for the ball. He wanted to make sure he looked his best for tonight. It didn't even bother him that James and Sirius were making fun of him for his preparation, much.

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James and Sirius were waiting with him. Their dates were meeting them in the Great Hall.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw Sam coming down the stairs. She wore beautiful purple robes with her hair pulled up with curls all around.

"Y-Y-You l-look b-beautiful."

Sam smiled. She loved the fact that the sight of her made him stutter and blush. "Thank you, Moony. You look very handsome. Are you ready for our first date?"

Remus was still staring dumbly at her. All he could manage was a weak nod. He blushed when she kissed him. He couldn't believe his luck. He was finally with her and James was fine with it.

Sam got some more praise from James and Sirius. They walked down together. Remus held her hand throughout the night. He hated to dance but when she asked him, he couldn't refuse.

James and Sirius would occasionally cut in but all the slow songs were reserved for Remus. When other boys would come to ask her to dance, Remus would reluctantly agree but was pleased when she would decline their offers. Her response pleased him beyond belief. "I'm sorry but all dances are reserved for my boyfriend. Thank you so much anyway."

They left the ball early and took a walk around the grounds. They saw James and Sirius snogging their dates like it was going out of style. It pleased Remus that after seeing Sirius with his date, Sam didn't seem to care at all. "It looks like there storing each other for winter." Remus laughed.

"Would you like to find some place to be alone?" Remus understood her question and quickly dragged her to the nearest empty bush. They laughed excitedly while looking at each other.

"You look really beautiful tonight, Sam. I mean, you always look beautiful but tonight, you are absolutely glowing."

Sam blushed. "That's because I'm with you, Remus. You make me feel beautiful."

Remus blushed and sighed happily. They leaned in and kissed.

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It was nearing the end of the school year and Remus and Sam couldn't be any happier with each other. Remus and Sirius were coming to the Potters for the summer holiday.

Everyone was going to Hogsmeade today, for the last trip of the year. Everyone except Remus and Sam.

They waited for everyone to leave so they could be alone. When everyone was gone, they went up to his room to get away from the first and second years that lingered in the common room.

They were lying on his bed, kissing. Things were getting hot and heavy. They took off some clothing while kissing like they couldn't stop.

"I-I think we should stop before we do something we might regret." Said Remus in a rather shaky voice.

Sam sighed. "That's kind of hard to do with your hand down my pants." He made to remove his hand but she wouldn't let him. "I didn't say stop."

"Sam, maybe we should go outside…to cool off."

"Baby, I don't want to …stop."

Remus rolled over and groaned. "I don't want to either."

Sam moved on top of him and her legs straddled his waist. "So, why are we?"

They kissed. "A-Are you ready? For what we were getting close to do?"

Sam smiled. "I am, if you are. I love you, Remus. I've already told you that I wanted to wait to be with someone I loved and that's you. Now, are you ready?"

Remus rolled her over onto her back. "I am, if you are." She let out a small laugh and nodded. He leaned towards his bedside table drawer, and pulled something out.

"What's that?"

Remus blushed. "I-I told my parents about us. They were very happy about it, by the way. My dad sent me this."

He held up a square shaped wrapper with an outline of a circle in the middle. "It's called a condom. Muggles use these to prevent pregnancy. My dad went to a muggle pharmacy and picked some up for me as a joke. He wanted to make sure that if we ever got to this point, that we would be safe."

Sam blushed. "I don't know how I feel about your father planning on us having sex. I'm glad we have protection, it just seems weird."

Remus laughed. "Yeah, it is. Are you sure?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Are you?"

He nodded in return. They removed the rest of their clothes and Remus read the directions on the wrapper. Remus positioned himself between her legs and they began. He heard her gasp. "Are you ok?"

She quickly nodded. "Just go slow, ok?"

As things progressed, he saw tears in her eyes. "Am I hurting you?"

"It stings a little but I'll stop you if I can't take it."

Once they were done, they laid side by side, clutching the sheet to their bodies. They awkwardly glanced at each other before nervously giggling. "That was different." said Sam shyly.

Remus looked at her, unsure. "Was it _that_ bad?"

She saw him blush after he asked his question. "N-No! W-Was it bad for you?"

"N-No! Of course, I have no prior experience."

Sam nodded. "That's probably it. We were just nervous because it was our first time and we didn't know what to expect."

She rolled on to her side and he followed. "Do you regret it?" asked Sam.

"I'm a teenager. My kind and sex go hand in hand." They laughed before he answered. "I know I don't because I had my first time with someone I love. D-Do you regret it?"

"Like you said, my first time was with someone I loved. What's to regret?"

They started kissing and Remus stopped. "Do you want to …again?"

Before Sam could reply, they heard James and Sirius' voices getting closer. They jumped out of bed and threw their clothes back on. When they were straightening the bed, Sam noticed blood on the sheets. "Oh no! Remus, look!"

Remus paled at the sight of the blood but quickly recovered. "Don't worry. Hide now, fix later."

They jumped on to the bed, and sat on opposite ends while fixing their hair. Sam noticed some other evidence that could expose what they just did. "T-The condoms! The condoms and the wrapper are on the table!"

As the door was opening, Remus quickly threw the evidence into the draw and tried not to look guilty.

James and Sirius walked in and saw them sitting on the bed, as far away from each other as possible. "Hey, you two! What are you up to?" Asked James. Sirius sat next to Sam and patted her knee. She nervously smiled at him.

"H-How was Hogsmeade?" Remus asked nervously.

James looked at him curiously. "It was fun like always. What's with you two? It looks like Nearly Headless Nick walked through you."

"W-W-We're fine." Stuttered Sam. She could have kicked herself for sounding so nervous.

Sirius put an arm around her and squeezed her tightly to him. "Are you ok, Sam? You're looking a little pale." asked Sirius.

"W-Well, it's just that … um … we haven't eaten all day. We came up here to get away from the first and second years and we lost track of the time." Remus said trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably.

James gave him a look. "Ok? Well, let's go down to the kitchens. We've got a lot of time before dinner, so we should get some food in you two. You two are looking rather pale."

They snuck into the kitchens and ate until they felt like bursting. James and Sirius had to be blind if they didn't notice Sam wince in pain when she sat down at the table the house elves set up for them.

Remus helped her ease onto the bench while James and Sirius stared at each other curiously. "Sammy, are you alright?" asked James.

"Did you hurt yourself?" asked Sirius.

Remus and Sam looked at each other before answering at the same time. "She fell-" "I tripped-"

"I-I tripped and fell on to the floor. I wasn't watching where I was going and stumbled on the rug."

James and Sirius didn't seem convinced but let it go. Whatever it was they were hiding, they were sure that they didn't want to know.

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Lily came back an hour after their kitchen trip. She joined them in the Great Hall for dinner. Lily noticed Sam was in pain when she sat down. "Sam, are you alright?"

Sirius was stuffing his face when he answered. "She tripped on the rug and fell on her ass. She's in pain, a real tragic story. Pass the rolls."

"Sam, you've been in pain all day. Maybe we should take you to Madam Pomfrey, if you're hurt." said James looking concerned.

"I didn't hurt her!" Remus practically shouted. Everyone stared at him oddly. Remus blushed especially when Sam gave him a hard look.

"No one said you did, Moony." said Sirius.

"I-I'm fine. No need to worry."

Lily was staring at Sam curiously. "Sam, are you done with dinner?" Sam nodded slowly. "I really need to talk to you. Can we go now?" They got up and before they left, Sam gave Remus an awkward kiss on the cheek.

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Lily and Sam were sitting in a corner in the common room in silence.

Lily was in shock. She had dragged Sam up there and made her talk. When Sam finished, Lily had no idea what to say.

"Oh Sam! H-How are you?" That was the most Lily said in the past twenty minutes.

A tear slipped down Sam's cheek and she wiped it away. "I'm ok, I guess. We both wanted to. I-I just. . ."

"You just what, sweetie?"

"I just didn't expect it to be like _that_." She had such disgust in her voice that Lily had to laugh.

"What was it like?"

Sam sighed. "It was nice but I guess I didn't know it would hurt so much."

"It hurts that bad?" Lily asked fearfully.

Sam nodded. "Yeah but maybe it's different for everybody. I'm just worried that things will always be awkward between Remus and me. I'm also scared that every time I have it, it will hurt."

Lily hugged Sam. "I'm sure that you and Remus will be fine. You two have never done it before; you are just surprised by how it actually feels. Plus, if it always hurts then no on would ever do it."

"Is everything alright?" They jumped when they heard James' voice. Sirius, James, and Remus were looking at them with concern.

"Fine. We were just talking." Lily answered.

James sat next to Sam and hugged her. "I don't know what it is but you've seemed different all day."

Sam's eyes widened in shock. She busted into tears and ran out of the portrait hole.

James was in shock. "What the hell did I say?"

Sirius shrugged. "She's probably on her monthly."

Lily glared at him. "Sirius, you are so…right! She's just emotional today because, as you put it so sweetly, she's on her monthly."

Lily turned to Remus and gave him a pointed look. "Remus, why don't you go comfort her?"

Remus took the hint and ran after Sam. Lily quickly ran to her room, so she wouldn't be questioned. James turned to Sirius and said. "I honestly think we are missing something. I'm just not sure if I really want to know what it is."

Sirius nodded. "Don't worry, I'm on it. I'll go find Moony and Sam."

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Remus finally found Sam a few hallways away. She was sitting on the floor, crying. "Sam?" He asked tentatively.

Sam looked up and cried some more. Remus sat down next to her and held her. "I'm sorry, Sam. I never realized that this would be the way things worked out."

She let out a little hiccup and rested her head on his shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just a basket case."

Remus kissed the top of her head. "Then, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Sam turned and faced him. The look on his face made her want to cry all over again. "It's just that I wasn't expecting what it felt like. I didn't know it would hurt so much."

"I-I hurt you? Why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped."

"I did tell you. Whenever I felt pain, you would stop. I was just surprised by how much it actually did hurt. You don't think it will always be like that, do you?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't think so. If it did, I doubt people would ever do it."

Sam let out a small laugh. "That's what Lily said. I hope you don't mind me telling her. I just needed to vent to my best friend."

"It's fine. I just wished you would have talked to me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I guess the whole thing freaked me out. The pain part, I mean. I needed a girl to talk to."

She crawled into his lap and let him hold her. "We don't have to do it again." Remus said into her hair.

Sam looked into his eyes and sighed. "I want to do it again, Moony. I want to make sure the pain stops. I just want to wait awhile before we do it again."

Remus smiled. "Whatever you want. Whenever we feel the time is right, we'll do it."


	13. Chapter 12: Ready To Wait

Chapter 12: Ready To Wait.

Sirius left the common room and went searching for Moony and Sam. He found them sitting in a hallway, not too far from the Gryffindor entrance.

He saw Remus holding her while she cried. Sirius didn't want to disturb them but when he heard a part of their conversation, he couldn't move at all.

"I-I hurt you? Why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped."

"_What the-_" Sirius thought to himself.

"I did tell you. Whenever I felt pain, you would stop. I was just surprised by how much it actually did hurt. You don't think it will always be like that, do you?"

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. He really hoped that they weren't talking about what he thought they were talking about.

He left to wander the school before he could hear anymore of their conversation. By the time he came back to the common room, the only person there was Lily. He sat down across from her and sighed. "I thought you went to bed, Evans?"

Lily looked at him and smiled. "Well, Black, I couldn't sleep. I was worried about Sam and Remus. They got back a few minutes ago. We talked briefly before they went to bed. Luckily, they have worked everything out."

Sirius sneered. "Oh thank goodness."

Lily looked at him in surprise. "Sirius!"

Sirius looked at her with surprise. "What? I know you know what they did!"

Lily looked at him in horror. "H-How do you know what they did?"

"I went looking for them. I heard them talking and figured it out."

Lily groaned. "You aren't going to tell James, are you? Sam would be devastated. He would never forgive Remus."

"What the hell do I care! She's too young for what they did!"

"Well, they did it anyway. They are in love. Why would you want to ruin their happiness?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't. I just don't want him to ever touch her again."

"Are you jealous that she chose Remus for her first time instead of you?"

Sirius stared at her in horror. "That's preposterous! I've never heard anything more ridiculous!"

Lily smiled knowingly. "I also didn't hear you deny it."

Sirius glared at the floor. "I'm not jealous. I-I…" He trailed off. The realization finally hit him. He was jealous. She had been in love with him first! He knew he only cared for her as a friend but he liked all the attention she used to give him. Then her crush on Remus and her dating Patrick came between all that. Now, she was dating one of his best mates. He always thought he was fine with it because he knew they wouldn't do anything major together. Now, something major has happened and he didn't know what to think.

"Shit!" Sirius exclaimed. "I am jealous! Not for the reason you are thinking!"

Lily nodded. "I know you don't love her like Remus does. You just miss all the attention she gave that she now gives to Remus."

Sirius nodded. "I am amazed by your insight. What are we going to do about Remus and Sam?"

Lily shook her head. "We aren't going to do anything. They told me they weren't going to do it again until they were really ready."

Sirius jumped up from his seat. "You believed them!"

Lily glared at him. "Sirius Black! You better calm down! If youknew what she told me, you would believe them too!"

"Did he hurt her?"

"Oh really, Sirius! From what I've heard, for a girl's first time, it always hurts. He treated her with the utmost respect. They realized they rushed things and decided to wait. Sirius, I beg you, don't tell James."

Sirius nodded. "Fine. I don't want to see Sammy hurt. Just let me talk to Remus. A quick chat about keeping things to himself and his pants on when he is around Sam."

"Agreed."

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Sirius waited for Remus and Sam to come back from the library. They had been studying like crazy for the last of their finals tomorrow.

They entered hand in hand, laughing. They saw him sitting in the armchair in a dark corner. "Padfoot, is that you?" asked Remus.

"Hey, how'd the studying go?" asked Sirius in an eerily calm voice.

Sam and Remus gave each other a look. "Are you ok, Sirius?" asked Sam.

"Well, no. When I went searching for you two the other day, after Sam's outburst, I heard a part of the conversation that sounded a little peculiar."

Sam and Remus slowly sat down together while clutching their hands. "W-What exactly did you hear?" asked Sam. She could honestly say that she was seeing her life flash before her eyes.

Sirius leaned forward causing his face to be brought into the light. "I think you know what I heard, Sammy." Remus and Sam paled and gasped in response.

Sirius wanted to smile at the sight. He was angry that Remus had let things get out of control. Sam was just so innocent and to have her first time when she was so young was unforgivable.

"Remus, how could you!" Remus jumped in spite of himself. "She's just a child! How could you let this happen!"

Remus was stumbling with his words and Sam was in shock. "I'm not a child! I may be young but I am no child, Sirius. It was my idea, not Remus'. I didn't want to stop and convinced him not to. So, if you are angry, be angry with me, not him."

"Don't try to protect him! I know how guys are! When we want something really bad, we'll make the girls believe it was their idea."

Sam gave him a look. "Obviously, you don't think women are all that smart. He suggested that we go outside. It was my idea to have sex. I wanted it. I asked for it. I got it."

Sirius had never seen her like that before. She was so in command that he couldn't help but think that there was no way in hell that Remus could have said no.

"Sirius, it was a mistake. A mistake we made together. We decided that we won't do it again." Said Remus, finally getting the feeling back in his legs.

Sam looked at Remus in shock. "Until we are ready, right?"

Remus was in a tight position. His angry best friend, who was like a protective older brother to his girlfriend, on one side and his angry girlfriend on the other. Remus sighed in defeat. "Of course, Sam. When we are ready…can we talk about this later? Without Sirius around?"

Sam blushed. She forgot about Sirius. "Sure, Baby, I'm sorry, I forgot Sirius was here for a moment." She gave Remus a deep kiss of apology on the lips.

Sirius coughed loudly to break them apart. They separated. "Not to break up the love fest, but I have to tell you that I'm not going to tell James."

Sam and Remus gasped. Sam leapt over and hugged Sirius tightly. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then sat down. "Thank you, Sirius. I would have been feeling dreadful if I came between Remus and any of his friends. You aren't angry with us, are you?"

"Not anymore. Since I had that talk with Lily, I've calmed down a lot."

"What talk with Lily?" asked Remus.

Sirius slightly blushed, thinking about the confession he made. "She saw me just after I overheard you conversation. She talked me into not telling James. She said that there was no point in upsetting everyone when you decided not to do it again until you two were ready."

"That's correct." Said Remus. Sam yawned and she rested her head on Remus' shoulder. "You want to go to bed?" Remus' eyes bulged when he saw the look on Sirius' face. "I-I-I meant does she want to go to bed in her room. Alone. Without me anywhere near her." Sirius nodded slowly while Sam sleepily giggled.

"Remus, you are too cute for words sometimes. Are we done, Sirius? I have a final the first thing in the morning."

Sirius nodded. "But Remus and I need to talk about a few things. So, say goodnight now."

Remus walked Sam to the staircase and didn't care that Sirius was watching when he gave her a quick peck on the lips. Sam smiled sleepily at him and kissed him like never before. She whispered in his ear. "I love you, Remus. Have sweet dreams tonight."

Remus blushed and kissed her again. Sam stopped short before quietly saying. "I'm sorry if I didn't say it before but I'm glad it was you." With that she ran upstairs, leaving Remus gazing in surprise.

Sirius' cough was the only thing that brought him back to reality. Remus went back and sat across from his friend. "So, how angry are you?"

Sirius sighed. "Like I said, after my talk with Lily, I'm fine. Moony, what were you thinking?"

Remus looked down and the floor and sighed. "It was more like what was I thinking with. We were so…you know…and she was so sure and I thought I was too. We were wrong and that's when we agreed to hold off until we're ready."

Sirius nodded. "I hope you realize that I'll be watching you two like a hawk over the summer." Sirius laughed. "I'm serious."

Remus laughed. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll be surrounded. Her protective father, her protective older brother, her honorary protective older brother, and her protective mother. I'd be a real git to try anything."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, you would be. Besides warning you, there's another thing we have to talk about."

Remus was afraid of this. He was sure Sirius finally realized his feelings for Sam but Remus wasn't going to give her up without a fight. He honestly wasn't expecting the next words out of his friend's mouth. "How was it with her?"

Remus busted out with laughter. Sirius flushed immediately. "I'm sorry, mate. I didn't mean to laugh. I just wasn't expecting you to ask me that. I thought you and Monica Winston from Hufflepuff already…you know?"

Sirius nodded. "We did but I don't think we did it right. It was awkward, very awkward."

"Same here. Sam figures the more times you do it, the less awkward it will be for everyone and the less it will hurt for her."

"What do you think?"

Remus sighed. "I really hope the awkwardness goes away. The pain has to stop or the girls would never do it."

Sirius nodded. "I hope you're right."

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The train ride home was a funny event. Sam and Remus got into a fight about where to sit. James and Sirius looked back and forth between them like it was a ping pong match.

"I always sit with my friends!" yelled Sam.

"So do I!"

"So! Why can't we sit with my friends!"

"Why can't we sit with mine!"

Sam rolled her eyes. They had been saying the same thing back and forth for the past twenty minutes. It didn't help that James and Sirius kept "oohing" and "aahing" at them. Sam shook her head and looked down at the floor. "This is ridiculous. I'm done. It's over!"

Remus paled. James and Sirius stopped laughing and looked at her in surprise. Remus stuttered dumbly.

"It's so stupidly obvious! I'll sit with my friends while you sit with yours and an hour before we arrive, I'll come and sit with you." Sam looked up with a smile that quickly vanished. The look on those three faces surprised her. "What? Fine! Two hours before we arrive I'll sit with you. Final offer."

They continued to stare at her. She took Remus by the hand and sat him down. "Are you alright, sweetie? Please, say something. You're scaring me. I-I'll sit with you for the entire trip, if that's what you want. Just say something."

Remus finally blinked. "I-I t-t-thought y-you w-were…" He trailed off. Sam was getting really worried.

"You thought I was what?" she asked gently. Sam was patting his hand hoping he would finish his thought.

"I-I thought you were breaking up with me."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed together. "Why would you think that?"

Sirius answered this for him. "Because you said that you were done and it was over."

Sam shook her head. "I mean that I was done with the disagreement and that the conversation was over. Sweetie, I have no plans to break up with you."

Remus eased back into the seat. James and Sirius breathed sighs of relief. Sam rested her head on Remus' shoulder. "You guys are crazy! I'd never willingly break up with Remus. He's the best thing to happen to me. I love him."

Remus blushed while James and Sirius "awed" at her. Sam rolled her eyes. "Better than me?" asked Sirius, laughing.

Sam laughed. "But, of course. He's smart, sweet, funny, cute, fun, and dead sexy."

James laughed. "Moony! Sexy! Where!"

Sam smiled innocently. "Want me to show you where?" The look on their faces made her laugh hysterically. She winked at them. "You three should see the looks on your faces. Priceless! I'll see you all later!" She kissed Remus and waved goodbye.

"Isn't she a pistol?" said Sirius, laughing nervously. Remus gulped out a laugh while James watched them suspiciously.


	14. Chapter 13: Rounding Third

Chapter 13: Rounding Third.

Sam was waiting anxiously for her parents to come back. Sirius and James were laughing at her all day; Sirius had taken to tickling her unexpectedly. Sam jumped up when she thought she heard them.

"Would you calm down?" said Sirius, standing behind her.

Sam turned and glared at him. "I haven't seen him in a month! Excuse me for being excited to see my boyfriend!"

Sirius grabbed her and started tickling her. They fell onto the couch. She tried to squirm away but he pulled her on to his lap and tickled her harder. She wriggled around but couldn't get away. Sirius did everything he could to encourage her to squirm as much as possible while she was on his lap. James couldn't help but laugh. They didn't hear the door open. It was a few moments before James noticed his parents and Remus standing there. "Sam! Sirius let her go! Remus is here!"

Sirius stopped and reluctantly let her go. Sam caught her breath and punched Sirius in the arm before running and tackling Remus to the ground while her skirt went up and over, revealing her underwear. "Samantha! Cover yourself!" yelled Mrs. Potter while laughing. Mr. Potter and James hit Sirius on the head when they noticed him staring.

Sam and Remus got up and kissed briefly. Sam adjusted her skirt and laughed. "Oh mama, I'm just excited to see my boy toy."

That comment didn't go over too well with her father. "What's a boy toy?" Sam opened her mouth to answer him but quickly shut it when she saw the look her mother gave her.

"It's another term for boyfriend, dear. Isn't that right, Samantha?"

Sam held in her laughter and nodded. "She's absolutely correct, Daddy."

Mr. Potter grumbled. "It sounds dirty to me. Don't say it again."

Sam gave her dad a hug and a kiss. "Whatever you want, Pop."

Mr. Potter smiled down at his daughter and kissed the top of her head. "You're a good little girl, Sammy."

Sam's smile faltered a little but quickly recovered. She didn't feel like a good girl. She felt horrible for betraying her parents trust. But she soon got over it. She decided it would have happened eventually but for her, it was sooner than they would have liked.

Remus was excited about being here. Not only to see Sam but also James and Sirius. He loved spending time at the Potters. He knew they knew about his condition and they still accepted him into their home and with their only daughter.

The boys and Sam made their way to the couch. Sam sat between Remus and Sirius, with her head resting on Remus' shoulder. They talked about their summer and Sam complained about Sirius' constant tickling. Sirius once again grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. She squirmed but it was becoming harder with her laughter increasing. Sam reached out her hands to Remus to grab her. He pulled with all his might and she crashed on to his lap. She laughed. "My hero!" She gave him a big kiss before yelling. "Mama! Sirius was tickling me again!"

Mrs. Potter came in and looked at Sirius. "Honestly! You two have been at it ever since you got home! Now, you better behave!" She said laughing. She looked at Sam on Remus' lap and felt a twinge of panic. "Samantha! You know better than to climb on people."

Sam laughed and sat next to Remus. She rested her head on his shoulder and Mrs. Potter smiled in relief.

Mrs. Potter walked back into the kitchen and sat down. She remembered the night her children, including Sirius, came home. She heard Sam sneak downstairs in the middle of the night. Mrs. Potter saw her daughter sitting at the kitchen table with her knees to her chest. She was sipping her tea while looking out the window. Mrs. Potter sat down next to her and looked at her intently. She saw tears in her daughter's eyes and wondered what could possibly have made Sam want to cry.

"What did Sirius and/or James do now?" Mrs. Potter asked quietly. It was always one of them that did something to her.

Sam wiped away her tears and shook her head. "They didn't do anything, mama. I just miss Remus."

"You'll see him soon enough. But Iget the feeling that there's something more."

Sam looked at her mother and let the tears run down her face. She told her mother everything about Patrick, and Remus, and everything in between. When she finished, after stuttering about what she and Remus recently did, she looked at her mother with red puffy eyes. "Do you hate me, mama?"

Mrs. Potter was completely and utterly shocked. She cried when Sam told her everything. Her little girl was so young and innocent that she couldn't believe that she did what she did. "I don't hate you, baby. I'm surprised, shocked, and disappointed." She gently pulled Sam into a hug and let her daughter cry. "I wish you would have waited but I can't change that. You seem to wish that too but let me tell you that when you are ready, no matter who you are with, it, will be special."

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

Mrs. Potter nodded. "Now, young lady, were you two careful?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, ma'am. You won't hold this against Remus, will you?"

Mrs. Potter sighed. She really wanted to blame Remus but couldn't. She knew how stubborn Sam was and knew it would have happened no matter what. "I promise I won't. He is a good boy and you two are good for each other. Just promise me, you won't do it again until you are completely sure you are ready?"

"I've been making that promise a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"I promised to Sirius, Lily, and now you. Remus and I decided together it was a mistake but we were still glad it was with each other instead of someone else." Sam sighed. "Are you going to tell Daddy and James?"

Mrs. Potter rested her head on top of her daughter's. "No, I won't. They don't need to know. But we will go to St. Mungo's to have you checked out. I'm far too young to be a grandmother."

Sam blushed and snuggled closer to her. "Mama, we were careful! I promise we were. But I'll go if it makes you feel better."

Mrs. Potter hugged her daughter tightly. "It would."

It took her children's laughter to snap her out of the fog her mind was in. Sam took two weeks to completely snap out of her funk but then she became good old Sammy again. Now, that Remus was here, her daughter was practically glowing with happiness. Mrs. Potter loved Remus and Sirius like they were her own. She was very excited when she learned of Sam and Remus' relationship. Now, she just prayed that her daughter will make it out of Hogwarts without a toddler with her. She knew, in her heart, that Sam and Remus were too smart for that but she also thought that Sam would wait until marriage to lose her virginity. How wrong she had been.

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It was three weeks since Remus arrived. Sam and Remus were barely left alone all day until they would go to sleep. After the first two days of nothing but interruptions, mostly by her mum and Sirius, they decided enough was enough. Every night for two and a half weeks they would sneak downstairs after everyone went to sleep and they would talk. Their talks would lead into heavy snogging which would lead into, what muggles would call third base. They always stopped themselves before they had sex but as each night passed, it would get harder and harder to say no.

Tonight was no exception. They snuck downstairs but instead of staying the family room, they went into the basement. They had almost been caught in the act the previous night by James when he came down for a drink of water. They decided it was better to be safe than sorry and the basement was just as comfortable as the family room.

Their shirts were off and things didn't seem to be slowing down at all. Soon enough, all they had on was their underwear. Sam let out a moan as a reaction to what Remus was doing to her. He thought it was the best reward to give her after the gift she had just finished giving him.

They looked at each other while breathing heavily. Remus gave her a kiss and laid on top of her. "W-We'd better stop before we do it again." Remus said. He sighed in her ear. "This is getting harder and harder."

Sam let out a small laugh. "So I've noticed."

Remus blushed. "Very funny. We better go up to bed before we start all over again."

Remus was getting up when Sam stopped him by pulling something out of her discarded shirt pocket. He looked amazed. "W-Where did you get that?"

Sam blushed. "I went through your things. Please, don't be angry. I remembered when you told me a few nights ago that you found them while you were looking for your shirt. Remember, you thought your dad snuck them in there?"

Remus nodded. "I'm not angry. I'm just confused as to why you brought them down here."

Sam looked at him intently. "I've been thinking about this since before you arrived here. You're the only one I've been with and the only person I've ever truly thought about being with. Then, it hit me. I'm completely in love with you. I knew I loved you but I never realized how much before."

Remus was beaming. "Y-You're in love with me?"

Sam blushed. "I'm in love with you, Remus. Truly in love with you and I don't care who knows it."

Remus lightly laughed. "That's funny. Before I got here, all I could think about was you. You have become the only thing that makes sense to me."

"You're in love with me?"

Remus blushed. "Truly and completely."

Sam kissed him. "I want to be with you, Remus. The way we were before term ended but this time, I'm completely, one hundred percent sure. That's why I brought the condoms down."

"You're completely sure?"

Sam smiled. She never felt this confident before. "I'm sure, Remus. You're the only one I want to be with. Do you want to?"

Remus gave her a look that told her everything she needed to know but she had to be sure. "Are you sure, Remus?"

"I'm sure, Sam. I'm completely sure."

They share a smile and kissed each other sweetly before doing what they knew was finally right.


	15. Chapter 14: Stupidity Thy Name Is Sirius

Chapter 14: Stupidity! Thy Name Is Sirius!

Remus and Sam walked hand in hand with her family and Sirius in Diagon Alley. It was a week before school and they went there to get their supplies for the upcoming year. The kids went to talk to some of their friends from school when Sam saw Lily and ran up to her.

"Lily! Oh my! You look fantastic! I've missed you so much!" Sam and Lily hugged tightly. Sam happily greeted Lily's parents and introduced them to her family. While their parents were talking, Sam took Lily to the side and told her everything.

"You two have done it every night?" Lily said in amazement.

Sam blushed. "Well, not every night. For that monthly reason that will always interrupt us, but yeah."

Lily saw Sam glowing and just had to ask the important question. She had been dying to know since the first time they did it and now was the perfect time to find out the real answer. "How was it?"

Sam laughed out loud. "Amazing! It gets better every time. Last night, my eyes rolled back inside my head. I didn't know that was possible. Lily, I've never experienced something so real and fantastic in all my life."

Lily giggled. "Oh wow! That's incredible, Sam. I'm so glad to see you so happy. I was really worried that you'd be scared off it for the rest of your life."

Sam sighed happily. "I'm glad I wasn't. I have to say that I've never felt this way about anybody."

"Even Sirius?"

Sam looked at her best friend and smiled. "Even Sirius. This is so much better than a school girl crush. I'll always care about Sirius. Hell, I love the git to death. But when I'm with Remus, all I can think about it being with Remus! I'm so completely in love with him! I'm so happy that I feel like I could fly without even using magic."

Lily stared happily at her friend. She hugged Sam tightly. "Oh, Sammy, I'm so happy for you! This is so exciting!"

They ran towards their parents, giggling like crazy. Sirius stepped out from where he was hiding. He didn't mean to follow them and listen to their conversation but he had to know what Sam and Lily were going to say.

He honestly didn't expect to hear what he did. Sirius couldn't believe that Sam, his Sam, was in love with Remus. He never felt this way before. He understood he was jealous because she wasn't paying that much attention to him. Sirius knew he wasn't in love with her. He just didn't expect to be this upset. She wasn't meant to be in love with Remus. She was meant to be in love with him even though he knew they would never be together. He had to do something; he just didn't know what it was.

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It was almost Halloween. Everyone was really worried about Sirius. He was snapping at everyone, especially Sam and Remus. They would ask James but even he was confused by his friend's actions.

Sirius had started acting weird in the middle of their trip to Diagon Alley and his mood just seemed to get worse. Any time someone would try to find out what was wrong or try to joke around with him, he would snap. Barely anyone talked to him because they didn't know how he would react.

James was really worried about Sirius. He loved him like a brother but that wasn't helping him not be annoyed by his attitude. James decided that enough was enough. He dragged Sirius onto the grounds after classes and didn't care how much Sirius fought against it.

"Get the hell off of me!" yelled Sirius.

James had him by the scruff of his neck and didn't let go until they were by the lake. "What the hell is your problem? Before we got back here, you've been nothing but a complete ass to everyone. Now, you better tell me what you're problem is or I'll kick your ass. Hell, I might kick your ass regardless!"

Sirius glared at the lake. He knew he was acting like a complete git. He didn't mean to act this way but he couldn't help it. He didn't understand why he was so bothered by Sam and Remus' relationship. All he knew was that he didn't like it.

"It's nothing." Sirius grumbled.

James rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah, right. And Snape is the next Minister of Magic."

Sirius let out a laugh in spite of himself. "It's stupid. You'll think I'm a great big ponce."

James laughed. "I always thought you were a big ponce. Nothing you tell me will change that. Now, what the hell has been up your ass?"

Sirius let out a small smile. He sighed. If he didn't get this off his chest, he was afraid of what might happen. "Sam's in love with Remus."

James just stared at him. He waited for Sirius to continue but when he didn't, James responded. "Yeah? Where have you been for the past eleven months?"

Sirius sighed. "I know. It's just that that day we all went to Diagon Alley, I overheard Sam and Lily talking. She told Lily that she was completely in love with Moony. She also said that…she was over me."

James stared at his friend before laughing. Sirius scowled. "See, I told you! You think I'm a git!" Sirius growled.

"Well, you are a git. But that's not the point. The point is why does it bother you so much that she is over you?"

Sirius sat down on the ground and James followed. Sirius was quiet for a moment and James wasn't going to rush him. "I don't want to say."

James groaned. "You are acting like a big girl! Tell me!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine! I hate the fact that all her attention is now on Remus and not me! Even though, I don't love her the way she used to love me, she isn't supposed to love Remus. She's supposed to be in love with me!"

"You know, I could hit you!"

Sirius stared at his friend in disbelief. "What? What did I say?"

James rolled his eyes. "You're selfish, that's what you are. You don't want her when she was in love with you but the moment she cares for someone else, you freak out."

Sirius stuttered but James interrupted. "Either you are their friend and support Moony and Sam or you're in love with her. Stop being a git! Don't act like an ass because her attention isn't on you anymore."

"You're right. I know I'm acting like a real idiot."

James shook his head. "You need to talk to Sam. Tell her why you've been acting this way. And if you don't straighten up, I really will kick your ass!"

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Sirius waited anxiously for Sam outside of her Charms class. He was going to talk to her no matter what.

"Hey there, Padfoot." Remus said carefully.

Sirius jumped a little. He forgot that Remus would always walk Sam to her next class whenever he got the chance. "Oh hey, Moony."

Remus was surprised that Sirius wasn't biting his head off. He was glad that his friend seemed almost normal but he decided to be careful anyway.

"I was hoping to talk to Sam. Alone. If that's alright?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed. "Well…it's up to her. I don't mind."

Sirius smiled in reply. Remus stared at his friend suspiciously. Remus had a feeling that whatever Sirius wanted to talk to Sam about, would cause a big problem in his relationship with her. Remus didn't want to say anything because he was just happy that Sirius was finally acting like his old self. For the time being.

They saw Sam walk out of her class and smile brightly when she saw Remus. They kissed and Sam turned and saw Sirius standing there. She looked at him apprehensively before smiling. "Hello Sirius. How's it going?"

Sirius smiled brightly at her. "I'm fine. I was wondering if we could talk."

Sam nodded. "Are you free after dinner? I'm in a rush right now. We're having a test in Transfigurations."

Sirius nodded slowly. "That's fine. You and me, after dinner."

Sam smiled slowly while Remus scowled. They left Sirius behind and Remus kissed her good luck on her test before going to Potions.

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Sam walked next to Sirius towards the common room. She had no idea what he wanted to talk to her about but she was just pleased that he was being friendly.

They went up to his room and before they began, he put a silencing charm around his bed. She almost laughed out loud after remembering all the times she prayed he would invite her up here to be alone.

Sirius saw the look on her face. "What's so funny?"

When she finished telling him, he blushed and forced out a laugh. They sat face to face and Sirius never remembered being so nervous.

Sam smiled gently at him while holding his hand. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Sirius sighed. "I've been acting like an ass, and I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Sam looked slightly confused. "That's it? Why did you put the silencing charm up if you were just going to tell me you're sorry?"

Sirius groaned. "You're going to be pissed when I tell you."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Just tell me, Sirius. Whatever it is, I won't be mad."

Sirius doubted this but when she gave his hand an encouraging squeeze, he decided to talk. "I heard your conversation with Lily in Diagon Alley. I heard you tell her about you and Remus."

Sam paled and dropped his hand. Sirius took her hand and held it tightly. "I know you two have been sleeping together. At first, I was angry but then I realized it was what you two wanted."

Sam slowly nodded. She was surprised by what he was telling her. She really didn't want to hear what else he had to say but couldn't help wanting to know.

"Then you said you were in love with Moony, and that you were over me. That's why I've been acting like a git."

"I don't think I understand."

Sirius looked away from her. He decided he had to tell her even if she would end up mad at him. "I've been acting like a jackass because…well, I don't think you should be with Remus."

Sam pulled her hand away and just glared at him. She had never been so angry in her life. "Excuse me!"

Sirius' eyes widened. "I-I just mean that when I heard you say that you were in love with him and over me…You're meant to be in love with me! Not Remus!"

Sam was beside herself. "You're in love with me?"

"NO! I love you like a friend."

"So, I'm meant to be in love with you and no one else but we'll never be together?"

"Exactly!"

"What?"

"Wait! That's not what I meant!"

"What did you mean then?"

"I meant that…" Sirius broke off mid-thought and kissed her.

They didn't see Remus walk in or walk out. Sam pushed Sirius off of her and punched him hard in the eye. "I-I can't believe you! I'm finally happy and in love with someone else! You should be happy to be off the hook! Why do you have to ruin this for two people you call your friends? You are the most selfish, arrogant prat that I've ever met! Don't talk to me until you get your head out of your ass!"

Sirius was left alone holding his eye and groaning. "That went well."


	16. Chapter 15: Repercussions

Chapter 15: Repercussions.

Sam went down to the common room and paced. She looked up when Lily walked in. "Hey! What's wrong with Remus?"

Sam shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

"He just ran out of here looking rather upset."

Sam closed her eyes and groaned. "I'm going to kill him!"

"Who? Remus?"

"No! That ass, Sirius Black!" Before Lily could ask any further questions, Sam was out the door.

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Remus didn't know where he was going but he knew for a fact that he couldn't face Sam or Sirius. If he did, he would do or say something he would regret.

He didn't realize that he walked to the same spot where he had found Sam months ago, after they first slept together.

"Remus!"

Remus turned and saw Sam running up to him. He couldn't think straight. The sight of her made him sick. "I have nothing to say to you."

Sam stood right in front of him and wouldn't let him pass. "I have to explain what I know you saw. It wasn't what you thought!"

Remus rolled his eyes and let out an ugly laugh. "That's rich! I saw my girlfriend; excuse me, my ex-girlfriend getting exactly what she wanted."

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "W-What the hell are you talking about?"

Remus was so beyond angry that he couldn't think straight. "Was sleeping with me apart of your plan? Did you think Sirius would fall for you faster if you were more experienced? Did you think dating one of his friends, forcing him to be around you more, would help?"

Sam couldn't breath. "I-I don't understand…"

Remus laughed. "I'll say. Your little plan worked, Sam. He loves you!"

"What plan? Remus, you've got it all wrong! If you would calm down and let me explain-"

He cut her off. He was too angry to listen to any rational thoughts. "Explain what? How much of a whore you are? Give it up to anyone that gets you noticed by Sirius?"

She slapped him hard across his face. Her vision was blurry because of her tears. "You better stop before you say something even worse that you'll never be forgiven for."

Remus continued as if he didn't hear her. "Nice touch, telling me how completely in love with me, you are. I wouldn't have expected this by James' sweet and innocent little sister. You make me sick. Every time we had sex, I was thinking about someone else. I was trapped inside your fat, ugly body that I almost threw up a few times."

Sam couldn't feel her legs. Everything was numb. She knew he was only saying all of this out of anger but it didn't stop them from cutting her down. Tears were flowing from her eyes and he laughed this horrible laugh. "Nice effect. The tears are very believable to someone who would give a crap. It's over and I'm glad I won't have to pretend to love you anymore."

Remus pushed past her and Sam didn't try to stop him. Sirius ran up to where they were. "Mate, you got it all wrong. I-" He stopped when Remus punched him in the same eye Sam punched earlier.

Remus looked at him in disgust. "You and I are not friends." Remus walked away quickly.

Sam walked up and helped him up. Sirius smiled at her carefully. "T-Thanks, Sammy. I'm really sorry about all of this. I-" He stopped when she rested her finger on his mouth to stop him from talking.

The tears were still coming down her face and when she spoke, she was deathly calm. "I hate you." With that, she walked away.

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Sam and Remus weren't speaking to each other or to Sirius. Sirius desperately tried to get them to listen but it never worked.

It had been a month since the hallway incident and things didn't seem to be calming down anytime soon. Remus would flirt with girls whenever Sam was around. James didn't know what happened because nobody would tell him but he had a funny feeling it was all Sirius' fault.

Remus was being uncharacteristically cruel. One day two weeks after the incident, he came into the common room where Sam was sitting and sat down next to her. He told her he was sorry and had a present for her. She eyes it carefully before opening it. Inside was a picture of Remus and Hannah Benjamin of Hufflepuff, snogging. She threw the picture at him and left.

This morning at breakfast, Sam sat next to Lily who was sitting across from Remus. Sirius was sitting on the other side of James who was next to Sam. Sirius would glance nervously at Remus and Sam but wouldn't dare say a word.

The post came and a school owl dropped a package off for Sam. She opened it excitedly but when she saw what was inside it, she busted into tears. Sam grabbed her things and the package and ran out of the Great Hall. It didn't go unnoticed that Remus was smirking as he watched her run out of the room. Lily glared at him before running after her friend.

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Lily found Sam in her room, crying. Lily remembered the night in her second year when she comforted Sam after James embarrassed her.

Lily took Sam in her arms and hugged her tightly. Sam openly sobbed and was hiccupping. Lily didn't know what was in that package but whatever it was; it did the job it was supposed to. Her best friend was completely devastated.

"Sweetie, what was in that package?"

Sam, shaking hard, handed the package over to Lily. Lily opened the package and gasped. It was the picture of Remus and Hannah, snogging, with a condom wrapper underneath it. "That's the type we would always use. He's s-sleeping with her."

Lily let a tear slip down her cheek. "Why would Remus do this to you?" Lily knew what happened that day. Sam came running back to the common room, crying, and told her everything that happened.

Sam looked at her and sighed. "He wants to make me suffer for cheating on him."

"But you didn't! Sirius was the ass that did all this!"

"I know this but Remus doesn't want to listen. He's hurt and doesn't want to listen to reason."

Lily sighed. "You shouldn't be defending him like that. He doesn't deserve it, especially after this."

Sam let out a few more tears and sighed. "I-I love him, Lily. I can't just stop."

Lily nodded and helped clean Sam up before going off to class.

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Lily and Sam were walking down the hall after classes when they saw Remus and Hannah walking in the opposite direction, laughing. Remus saw them and kissed Hannah deeply.

Not knowing what came over her, Sam grabbed the first guy that walked past them and kissed him. Sam looked at Remus, defiantly. She saw him looked disgusted. She turned to see whose robes she was holding on to and gasped. Severus Snape was staring at her in shock and disgust. She let go of his robes and started to stutter. "I-I'm sorry, Severus. I-I-I didn't mean to embarrass you like that."

"Sam! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Sam jumped and saw James and Sirius staring at her in shock and disgust. Sam turned back to Severus and sighed. "I'm truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me." Sam quickly ran off, with Lily, James, and Sirius following her, while Severus dumbly stared at the spot where she was standing.

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They followed her to the common room and James dragged her to his room. He refused to let Lily and Sirius follow them. He put a silencing charm around his bed and sat down next to her.

He held his little sister while she cried. He didn't know what to say but he knew that she had to tell him everything for him to understand.

When she was done, he just sat there. Sam looked at her brother, fearfully. She didn't want to tell him absolutely everything but if she didn't, the whole story wouldn't make sense and he would ask questions.

James wasn't moving at all. She wanted him to say something but she also wished that she didn't tell him. She knew she shouldn't force James to talk because it would be like poking a sleeping bear with a stick, repeatedly.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. James blinked and turned to look at her. "You…? He…?"

James didn't know what to do or say. All he could do was stare at her until he blurted out. "Thirteen!"

Sam jumped and looked at him. "I'm sorry?"

"Thirteen!"

Sam nodded her head. "No, I got that part. I just don't know what you mean by saying that."

James glared at her. "You were thirteen when he violated you!"

Sam sighed. "He didn't violate-"

"Violated my little sister!" interrupted James.

"James! Calm down! It was both our decision!"

James growled. "I'll kill them!"

"Them?"

"Remus and Sirius! Remus for violating you and breaking your heart. Sirius for causing all of this like I knew he did!"

Sam smiled at her brother. "James, stop. You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do. Because of Sirius, Remus broke your heart."

"They're your best friends. I love that you want to protect me, James, but I'm not a little girl anymore. Remus will get over it, eventually. Sirius is an ass."

James let out a small smile. "Very true but what about you? What can I do to make you feel better?"

Sam shrugged. "There's nothing you can do but just be my older brother and love me."

James smiled. "I think I can do that. But can I still hex them when the feeling comes over me?"

Sam laughed out loud. "Why do I think that the feeling will pop up a lot?"

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Sirius was tired of waiting down in the common room with Lily. He couldn't just do nothing. He said goodbye to Lily and left the common room.

He knew what he had to do; he just hoped it would all work out.

He walked down the hallways and stopped when he was in front of the familiar statue. He racked his brain for an idea of what the password might be.

"Hello, Mr. Black."

Sirius jumped and saw Professor Dumbledore staring at him, intently. "H-Hello, Professor, sir."

"May I help you?"

Sirius stuttered before slowly nodding. "Professor, sir, I need help and you're the only one I could think of to help."

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Please, follow me."

The statue opened and Sirius followed Professor Dumbledore up to his office. They walked in and sat down. "Now, young Sirius, tell me, what I can do for you?"

Sirius sighed and told Professor Dumbledore most of the story. When he finished telling Dumbledore his idea, he waited in silence while Professor Dumbledore thought it over.

Professor Dumbledore sighed. "Sirius, what you did was wrong and I hope you realize that. Your friends are right to be upset with you."

Sirius nodded. "I know, sir. That's why I'm asking you for your help to make it all right again."

"You realize that they might not forgive you? Or trust you again?"

Sirius nodded. "I know, sir."

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "As long as you realize the seriousness of your actions, I will help you bring your friends back together."

Sirius smiled brightly. "Thank you, sir. I knew I could count on you. Now, tell me everything about it."

Professor Dumbledore nodded and the lesson began.


	17. Chapter 16: Baby Steps

Chapter 16: Baby Steps.

* * *

It was the beginning of December and the grounds were covered in the whitest snow. It was a picture perfect scene even though it was cold as ice in the castle.

Things between Remus and Sam were also frozen in place. James would hex Sirius and Remus whenever Remus would upset Sam or whenever the mood called for it.

Remus walking back to the common room from the library. He was feeling upset because he saw Sirius give Sam a hug but was surprised as hell when he saw her slap him. "_Maybe I overreacted_." He thought to himself but quickly forgot the idea. He knew she would always love Sirius and sometimes love made you do crazy things.

He walked into the common room and saw James and Sirius talking rather excitedly. They looked up when they saw him. Remus really hoped that James wouldn't hex him because he was still having effects from when he was turned into a donkey the previous day.

James stood up and blocked his way to the staircase. Sirius stood next to him. "We have to talk, Remus. It's very important."

Remus sighed. "Look, I don't want to hear about your sister anymore. We are finished and it's all thanks to your best mate there."

Sirius gulped. "I said I was sorry. Nothing happened between me and Sam. I swear it!"

James glared at the sight of them. "So, my sister is fine for you to sleep with but you can't trust her?"

Remus and Sirius went white as the snow. "You mean you know?" They said in unison. They looked at each other and glared.

James glowered at Sirius. "Wait, you knew and didn't tell me?"

Sirius groaned. "That's not the point!"

Remus shook his head. "Then what _is_ the point, Sirius?"

Sirius made them follow him up to their room and cast a charm on the door to block others out of the room. Peter sat up in his bed in surprise. Sirius forced him out of bed and they all stood in a circle. "W-What's going on?" asked Peter.

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. "Don't wet yourself, Peter. I just want everyone to see the Christmas present I put together for Moony."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I don't want what you have to give me."

Sirius glared at him. "Look, I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it! Now, shut the hell up and listen! Ass."

Sirius pulled out a wooden box with a heart carved onto the cover. "Isn't that the gift Sam got you for Christmas in our first year?" asked James.

Remus was fuming while Peter was oblivious. Sirius stared hard at his friend. "Really not the time to point that out, James."

He opened the box and they leaned in. They saw three separate silver swirling things. "What the bloody hell are these things?" asked James.

Sirius looked at him with an excited gleam in his eye. "They're called pensieves. I had Dumbledore teach me how to do it. So a certain prat could see rather than hear the truth. It took a little while to get it done because I was having a hard time concentrating but here they are."

Remus looked skeptically at the contents in the box. "I don't know about this. How does it work?"

"M-M-Maybe I-I s-should s-s-stay b-behind i-i-in c-c-case s-something g-goes w-wrong." Peter stammered.

The others rolled their eyes at him. "You kind of just fall into them." said Sirius as he took the first one out. They went in one after the other and they stood up.

It was the day they went to Diagon Alley. Remus, James, Sam, and Sirius walked past them. "What the…?" James trailed off. They saw Sirius, earlier Sirius, following Sam and Lily. They saw the early Sirius hide behind a large plant while listening to the girls' conversation.

"You two have done it every night!" They heard Lily say. James glared at Remus. Remus blushed furiously and looked anywhere but at him.

"How was it?"

Remus was staring expectantly at Sam. When she laughed, his heart swelled. He missed her so much it hurt. "Amazing! It gets better every time. Last night, my eyes rolled up back inside my head. I didn't know that was possible…"

Remus was smiling brightly. "I made her eyes roll back? I didn't know that."

James smacked him upside his head but Sirius stopped anything further from happening. "Will you ponces stop? You're going to miss the whole point!"

They turned back to the girls and Sam was still talking. "… This is so much better than a school girl crush. I'll always care about Sirius. Hell, I love the git to death…"

Remus turned to Sirius but Sirius held up his hands. "Just listen, mate."

"…being with Remus! I'm so completely in love with him! I'm so happy that I feel like I could fly without even using magic."

Remus wanted to throw up. He just refused to believe it. "So, what does this prove? This was in August, you ruining our friendship happened in October."

Sirius growled. "Fine, then. Let's get out of here and go to memory number two."

They found themselves by the lake and saw James and Sirius sitting on the ground. "Why didn't it show my favorite part of this day?" asked James.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Because it's my memory, you dick."

James laughed. "You were there! It was when I was dragging your ass down here. It was a beautiful moment."

Sirius hit James upside his head and groaned. "Would you shut up?"

They moved closer to the October James and Sirius and listened closely. "Well, you are a git. But that's beside the point. The point is why does it bother you so much that she is over you?"

Remus gave Sirius a look. "Don't worry, mate. It gets much worse." said Sirius laughing.

"Fine! I hate the fact that all her attention is now on Remus and not me! Even though, I don't love her the way she used to love me, she isn't supposed to love Remus. She's supposed to be in love with me!"

Remus couldn't believe what he just heard. "You selfish prat! I could kill you!"

James held onto Remus and sighed. "Moony, shut up!"

Sirius turned to his friends. "Ok, time for the last one."

They were now following Sam and Sirius on the way to their room. Remus turned to Sirius. "What the hell is this?" Sirius shook his head. His friend would just have to wait and see.

Remus watched closely as they sat on the bed. He felt a pit in his stomach. He saw Sam roll her eyes. "Just tell me, Sirius. Whatever it is, I won't be mad."

Remus looked at James and they shared a look, but went back to the conversation. "I've been acting like a jackass because…well, I don't think you should be with Remus."

James had to do everything in his power to hold onto Remus. Sirius stood there trying to calm his friend down. "Would you wait to get upset?"

"So, I'm meant to be in love with you and no one else but we'll never be together?"

James looked at Sirius and shook his head. "You really are a dumbass sometimes. You know that right?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"I meant that…" That's when they saw Sirius kiss Sam. They saw other Remus walk in with a smile and walk out with a scowl.

They gasped when they saw Sam punch October Sirius in the eyes. "I-I can't believe you! I'm finally happy and in love with someone else! You should be happy to be off the hook! Why do you have to ruin this for two people you call your friends? You're the most selfish, arrogant prat I've ever met! Don't talk to me until you get your head out of your ass!" They saw Sam slam the door as she left and Sirius was left holding his eye muttering. "That went well."

They were now back in the present, sitting in their room. Remus was completely silent. Sirius looked at him, sadly. "I'm really sorry, mate. I hope you can forgive me."

Remus stood up and looked at Sirius and James. "Sirius, I'll forgive you when I get Sam back. And James, I'm sorry I hurt her."

James shook his head. "Don't apologize to me. I'll forgive you when she forgives you."

"Can I go to sleep now?" asked Peter. They looked at him with disgust and left him alone in the room.

* * *

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Sam was in the library with Lily, Lilac, and Patty. They were laughing hard over something Patty said. Remus walked into the library and saw her. He took a deep breath before walking over. They looked up at him with such hatred in their eyes that it took everything inside him not to run away. "S-Sam, can I talk to you? In private?" 

Sam looked at him with no emotion in her eyes that it scared him. "I think I heard everything you had to say. I think that you let me know everything you wanted me to know with that package you sent me."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed. "Please, Sam?"

Sam smiled a cool smile. "Why don't you save your pleases for Hannah and leave me out of it?"

After that, they continued with their conversation and ignored him completely. Remus walked away and joined his friends across the room. "How'd it go?" asked Sirius.

"Do you see me jumping up and down in joy?"

Sirius sighed. "This is going to take a lot longer than I thought."

James looked up from his book and looked at them. "Remus, did you shag Hannah?"

Remus looked guilty. "No. Hannah and I are friends from Arithmancy. I convinced her to help me make Sam jealous. When she found out what I did, she refused to speak to me."

James sighed. "You're a complete ass."

Sam walked over to them and smiled brightly at James. "Are you still going to help me with my History of Magic after dinner tonight?"

James looked surprised at her. "You actually want my help with that boring class? I thought you were joking. Moony is the reason why we are all passing in the first place. Why don't you ask him for some help?"

Sam glanced at Remus and saw him looking at expectantly her. Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'll just ask Lily for help. This way I won't be yelled at for no good reason."

James sighed. "Fine, I'll help you. But if you fail, don't blame me!"

Sam smiled and hugged her brother tightly. "You're the best brother in the world! I hope you know that."

James smiled. "I know. I'm just glad you know how lucky you are to have me."

Sam rolled her eyes. "No wonder Lily thinks you're arrogant."

* * *

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* * *

Sam waited for James in the common room after dinner but was surprised when Remus walked in and sat down next to her. "James got detention from Professor McGonagall tonight. I volunteered to help you." 

Sam moved to get up but he put his hand on her arm to stop her from leaving. "Sam, please, stay. We need to talk. Actually, I need to talk and you need to listen."

Sam moved away from him and went to walk away. "I heard enough of what you had to say when you broke up with me. Why don't you talk to your girlfriend, Hannah?"

She was on the first step when his words stopped her. "I never slept with Hannah."

Sam turned and looked at him. "You didn't?"

Remus shook his head. "We're friends in Arthimancy. I asked her to help me make you jealous. When she found out about the package I sent you, she stopped talking to me."

Sam couldn't believe he was telling her this and she didn't want to. "Why are you telling me all this now?"

Remus told her everything about the pensieves and she was just stared at him. "So, now, you believe me? After I begged you to listen to reason and you said those horrible things to me?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I guess ever since we got together I was afraid you would leave me if Sirius ever realized he was in love with you. When I saw you two kissing, I was beyond upset. Everything I dreaded that would happen I believe did. How I acted afterwards, was and still is unforgivable. I understand if you never want to speak to me again but know this, I never stopped loving you."

Sam looked at him intently. "You never stopped loving me but you continued to torture me? That's nice. That's really great, Remus. You're really a stand up guy, you know that right?"

Remus groaned. "Sam, I'm saying I'm sorry. I'm a lowly jerk. I'm a creep! What more do you want from me?"

"I want the humiliation and heartbreak you caused for close to two months taken back. I want to remember the boy I loved and not the ass that you've been!"

She left him alone feeling dejected.

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Sam was alone in the library thinking things over. She still loved Remus and she tried hard not to. She looked up and saw Severus sitting alone in the corner by himself. She sighed to herself and went up to talk to him. 

"Hello, Severus."

He briefly looked up at her and went back to his work. She sighed and sat down across from him. He glared at her but didn't speak. "Look, I just wanted to apologize to you again for that kiss. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I truly am sorry."

She stood up but stopped when he finally spoke. "Why are being nice to me?"

Sam sat back down and sighed. "Because it's the right thing to do. I embarrassed you and that's not right. I kissed you because I was trying to make Remus jealous. It could have been anyone. I guess I just grabbed blindly and it just happened to be you."

Severus sneered at her. "So, you and Lupin need excitement in your relationship that you kiss random people?"

Sam glared at him. "No! That's not what I meant! I was just trying to apologize! If you can't get it through your thick skull that someone was trying to finally be nice to you for once then that's not my fault!"

Sam went back to her table and packed up her things. She noticed that he was standing there, looking suspicious. "You're nothing like your brother and those moronic drones he wastes his time with."

She slightly smiled at him. "No, I'm not. I don't believe in attacking people for no good reason. But you have to know that James isn't all bad. He may be an arrogant annoying prat but he is always there for me when I need him. You are, however, right about his friends."

Severus let out a sneering smile. "At least, we agree on something."

Sam laughed. "You know, you aren't as bad as everyone says you are. Don't worry; I'll let that be our little secret."

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Sam and Lily decided to go to the ball together. They sat with Michael and his friend Chris and had a lovely time. Sam decided that she liked the freedom of going to the ball with Lily. She didn't have to devote all her time to one person and could freely dance with whomever she chose, not worrying about upsetting her date for the evening. 

She saw Severus sitting alone, looking rather annoyed at being there. She smiled at him and saw his mouth twitch in what could only be described as a smirk.

Sam walked across the room and sat down next to him. This caused many curious glances but she didn't care. He stared at her in what she assumed was disbelief. "W-What are you doing?"

She smiled at him. "I was planning on talking to my friend. You know, I don't ever recall seeing you at a ball before. Why haven't you ever come?"

Severus glared at the table where the teachers were sitting. "Professor Dumbledore decided that I needed to socialize more. He said it would be good for me to attend the ball."

"Well, he had a point. It wouldn't hurt you to be more open."

He rolled his eyes. "Please, spare me. What did socializing ever get you except crying over Lupin?"

Sam's face went to stone. "It got me some of the best friends I'll ever have. As for Lupin and I, that was just an unforeseen tragedy."

Severus just stared at her. "I'm sure."

"Do you want to dance?"

Severus almost choked. "You want to dance? With me?"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I do. Think of it as a way to really annoy my brother and his band of idiots."

Severus shrugged. "I think that's a good reason and it would get Dumbledore off my back for a while."

It shocked everyone when they got up and started to slow dance. James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily stared in disbelief at them.

Remus was beside himself. "Why is she doing this?"

"She's gone completely nutters, she has!" exclaimed James.

Lily rolled her eyes. "He really isn't that bad! They probably are doing it because they knew it would upset you. Geez, how thick are you?"


	18. Chapter 17: To Forgive

Author's Note: There is a rather large excerpt from Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, pages 640-649.

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Chapter 17: To Forgive.

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Sam hugged Severus tightly before pulling away. "That was awkward. How about from now on we just shake hands?" He quickly nodded. "Thanks for dancing with me. It was actually fun."

Severus gave her a questioning glare. "I'm going to assume that that was a compliment."

"It was. Let's take a walk around the grounds." Before he could decline, she grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the ball.

They stepped outside and stayed close to the entrance. They walked a little in an awkward silence. Sam turned and faced him. He looked suspiciously at her. "You're not going to kiss me again, are you?"

She let out a loud laugh. "No, I'm not. I just wanted to thank you again for dancing with me and taking this walk."

"It wasn't like I had a choice."

She smiled at him. "Just take the compliments I give you and save the back talk for someone else. You're a good guy, Severus; I just wish that you could realize that." She looked at him for a moment before saying. "What the hell?"

Severus was shocked. She threw her arms around him and was hugging him tightly. He stood there frozen and was relieved when she finally let go. "What happened to just hand shakes?"

Before she could reply, Severus was pushed roughly to the side and Sam was pulled away from him. James and Sirius were blocking Severus from escaping while Remus was holding Sam back. "You stay away from my sister, _Snivellus_!"

Sam stepped on Remus' foot hard and pushed him off of her. She moved James and Sirius out of the way and guarded Severus. "Leave him alone! We were just talking!"

"It didn't look like there was much talking going on. He was all over you!" grunted Sirius.

Sam narrowed her eyes and the three of them started to sweat. "He wasn't all over me! I was hugging him as a thank you for dancing with me and taking a walk. It's no business of yours who I choose to be friends with! Now, leave him alone!"

They let Severus go but as he was leaving James muttered. "We'll get you when you're least expecting it. Whenever she isn't around."

Sirius tripped Severus, causing him to knock Remus down. Remus was holding his head in pain. "Severus, are you ok?" asked Sam trying to pull him up.

Severus pulled away from her and glared. "I don't need _your_ help!"

She let him go and he walked away. She looked down at Remus and bent down to check on him. "Remus, are you okay?"

She saw his cheek was bleeding and helped him up. "You know, Sirius, you can be such a jerk sometimes!"

Sam helped Remus into the castle and up to the hospital wing. She sat him down and Madam Pomfrey cleaned him up. "Boys, fighting! Nonsense, I tell you! You have got to have more sense than this!"

"He just tripped, Madam Pomfrey. Honest!"

Madam Pomfrey gave her a disbelieving look and let them go. They went to the common room and sat down across from each other. Sam was fussing over him but he stopped her. "Sam, I'm fine."

She stopped and stared at him. "I just wanted to make sure. I don't know why but you really worried me when you hit the ground."

Remus smiled at her. "Well, at least you don't wish me bodily harm. I think we're making progress."

Sam laughed in spite of herself. "You're such an ass."

"I know. But I'm an ass that loves you and is truly sorry for the way he acted."

Sam touched his cheek gently. "I know. You just really hurt me, Remus. I love you but it was devastating the things you did and said."

Remus sighed. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"When I saw him kiss you, it felt like my life ended. I thought that you were going to leave me for him. You mean so much to me, Sam. I don't think I could take it if you would have decided to be with him and not me."

Sam had tears in her eyes. "I love you, Remus. Sirius will always be apart of my heart but it's you that I want to be with. I just wish you knew that."

"Even after everything I put you through?"

Sam nodded. "Yes. I don't know why because you don't deserve it. I love you, Remus, I just don't know if I can forgive you."

Remus pulled her in close and kissed her. "All I ever wanted was to be with you, Sam. If it takes a hundred years for you to forgive me then I'll spend a hundred years doing everything in my power to make that happen."

She moved and sat next to him. Remus rubbed her back and sighed. "Tonight would have been a year that we were together."

Sam leaned into him. "I know. That's why I took Lily as my date. There's no boy I wanted to go with tonight that could have compared to you."

Remus looked down at her and stared closely. "Can we call these last two months our lost time together? Can we forget that they ever happened and start where we left off?"

"No, we can't. But we can start over. Slowly, of course."

He beamed at her. "Of course."

They leaned in and kissed deeply. They didn't hear Sirius and James come in. James and Sirius smiled brightly at the sight of them and went up to their room to give them privacy.

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Remus was so excited. Everything seemed to be working out. He had his arm around Sam as they walked down the hallway. Sam noticed Hannah staring at them and couldn't help herself. She waited until Remus had his head turned and brought out her wand. There was a big commotion. Everyone was staring at the ground and laughing. Remus and Sam walked over to the crowd and gasped. Sam couldn't help but laugh. Hannah was bent over on the ground, gasping. She had sprouted donkey ears and a tail. Remus looked down at Sam, shocked. He pulled her away from the crowd. "James taught you that, didn't he?"

Sam looked up innocently at him. "What do you mean?" He gave her a look and she sighed. "Yeah, he did. She deserved it!"

"How did she deserve it?"

"She went against the girl code and pretended to be with my boyfriend. She deserved it."

Remus gave her a disapproving look and kissed her. "You are really scary sometimes. Brilliant but scary."

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It was time for the fifth years to take their O.W.L.'s. Remus was completely stressed out and snapping at almost everyone. Sam would try her best to help him calm down but it was becoming pointless. One night after dinner, Sam grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him to a door he had never seen before.

"Sam, what are we doing here? I have to study!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Baby, I love you. You need to let out some steam because you've been snapping at everyone lately. All I'm asking for is one hour. You need this. Hell, I need this!"

They entered the room and Remus gasped. It was a beautiful bedroom. There was a four-poster bed lined with silk and candles lit everywhere. "Sam? What is this place?"

"It's called the Room of Requirement. Sirius told me about it. I thought we could use an escape from studying for a bit. A stress reliever, if you will."

They looked at each other and blushed. "Are you sure that you want to do this?" asked Remus.

Sam beamed at him. "Of course, I am. We haven't been together since before we broke up. I think we deserve it after all the stress that we've been under. Now, I command you; have your way with me!"

Remus laughed. "As you wish."

They kissed deeply and went to the bed. It was the best night of their lives. (_A/N: Every time I read this line, I roll my eyes. I won't blame you if you do too!_)

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Remus and Sam walked back to the common room, glowing. Remus happily admitted to her how right she had been. He really did need that stress reliever she had arranged.

They saw James, Sirius, and Peter sitting at one of the tables, with their books out, talking rather closely. They looked up when Sam and Remus walked up to them. "Hello there, Moony. We were just going over Defense Against the Dark Arts. Care to join us?" said Sirius.

Remus eyed his friends curiously and knew they were up to something. "Uh…sure. You don't mind me leaving you to study with them, do you?"

Sam yawned loudly. He blushed when she winked and smiled at him. "Anything you want, sweetie. Our three hour study session really tired me out. I'm going to go to bed." She kissed him deeply and whispered in his ear. "You were amazing."

Remus gazed at her happily while she walked up to bed. James hit Remus in the arm. "That's my sister you're looking at. Stop thinking those dirty thoughts!"

Remus sat down and joined his friends. "Sorry, Prongs. Now, what are you lot up to? Really?"

"We were thinking of a way to finally get back at Snivellus." Said Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, get over it. Weren't James and you continuously hexing him enough?"

"Hell no!" exclaimed James.

"M-Maybe Remus is right." offered Peter.

"Wormtail, he got away with making the moves on Moony's girlfriend. That's unforgivable!" said Sirius. He noticed his friends were staring at him and he rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I said I was sorry. Snivellus was born sorry."

"Why don't we talk about this later and study? We've got a lot to cover." said Remus. He was relieved when they agreed.

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"Five more minutes!" yelled Professor Flitwick.

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. With a glance toward Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius, who was sitting four seats behind him.

Sirius grinned back at James and gave him the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. His hair fell into his eyes and he casually wiped it away. Robin Lynch, his latest ex-girlfriend, was sitting behind him and eyeing his hopefully, even though he didn't seem to notice. Sirius glanced around and saw that Remus was completely absorbed in the exam. As Remus reread his answers, he scratched his chin with the end of his quill and slightly frowned. Sirius rolled his eyes and looked over at Peter. He spotted him and Peter looked very anxious. Peter was chewing his finger nails, staring down at his paper and scuffing the ground with his toes. Peter would occasionally glance at his neighbor's paper hopefully.

James sighed as he doodled on a piece of spare parchment. He was drawing a Snitch and was tracing the letters L.E.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio_!"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backward off his feet. Several people laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows, and lifted him onto his feet again. "Thank you…thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James hastily crossed out the L.E. he had been embellishing, jumped to his feet, stuffed his quill and the exam question paper into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as the emerged into the entrance hall.

"Loved it," said Remus briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."

"Do you thing you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did," said Remus seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin…"

The only one who didn't laugh was Peter. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else-"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run round with a werewolf once a month-"

"Keep your voice down." implored Remus.

The boys strode off down the lawn toward the lake. "Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."

"Me too." said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it." said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away and seizing it again. Peter watched him in awe.

The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which Lily and her friends, who had just left the Great Hall were sitting with shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.

Remus pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom farther and farther away, almost escaping but always grabbed it at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded. James reveled in the attention. He rumpled his hair to make sure that it didn't get too tidy, and kept looking over at the girls by the water's edge.

"Put that away, will you?" said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer. "Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."

Peter turned slightly pink but James grinned. "If it bothers you," James said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.

"I'm bored," said Sirius. "Wish it was full moon."

"You might," said Remus darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration; if you're bored you could test me...Here." He held out his book.

Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is…"

Sirius's head turned. He had become very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. "Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."

Severus was walking and was stowing his O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he emerged from the shadows of the bushed and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Remus and Peter remained sitting: Remus was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint from line had appeared between his eyebrows. Peter was looking from Sirius and James to Severus with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Severus reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: Dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_"

Severus' wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "_Impedimenta!_" he said, pointing his wand at Severus, who was knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to watch. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Severus lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up; James glanced over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed. Peter sniggered shrilly. Severus was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes. "You-wait," he panted, staring at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You-wait…"

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?" Severus let out s stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but his wand being ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "_Scourgify!_"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus' mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him. "Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius looked around. James's free hand jumped to his hair again. "All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean…"

Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and neither did Lily. "You think you're funny," She said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on…Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment jinx was wearing off. Severus was beginning to inch toward his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Severus. "OY!"

But too late; Severus had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Peter roared with laughter. Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upward. Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "_Locomotormortis!_" and Severus keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now.

James and Sirius eyed it warily. "Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the countercurse. "There you go," he said, as Severus struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" yelled James. "I'd NEVER call you a- you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!" But she didn't look back. "What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now. "Right-"

There was another flash of light, and Severus was once again hanging upside down in the air. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" said James.

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Sam walked over to the boys and saw her brother and Sirius, once again, play fighting. She sat down in between Remus' legs and let him hold her. "Hey, Baby. Hello Peter."

"Hello, Sam. How were your tests today?" Peter asked looking nervously at her. He knew that she really didn't care for him but he was one of her brother's best friends and she had to deal with him. She was always polite to him but he always felt uneasy around her.

She gave him a polite smile. "My tests went fine. How was your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam?"

Peter looked at her, surprised. She was actually being considerate enough to ask about his exams. "O-Okay, I suppose."

Remus laughed in her ear. "What's so funny?" She asked.

"I was just thinking how easy the exam was. Especially the part about werewolves."

Sam laughed and gave him a kiss. She turned and saw Lily glaring at her brother and Sirius. This wasn't unusual but there seemed to be a lot more hatred than normal. "Do you two know what's wrong with Lily?" She saw Peter nervously look away from her and felt Remus shift uncomfortably. Sirius and James finally stopped play fighting and walked over to them. Sirius sat next to Remus and James sat on the other side of him. "Do you two know what's wrong with Lily?" James and Sirius bragged about what they did and Sam was livid. She stood up and glared at them. "How could you embarrass him like that!"

James glared right back at her. "He called Lily a _mudblood_!"

Sam sighed. "That's unforgivable. But you provoked him!" She stared at each of them with disgust. "Peter, I don't blame you for this. I know how my brother and his two moronic friends can be!"

Peter was noticeably relieved. Sirius stood up and glowered at her. "Why are we moronic?"

Sam rolled her eyes at him. "If you have to ask, then you don't deserve to know. Remus, you're a prefect! Why didn't you try to stop them?"

Remus just stammered at her. "W-Well…y-you s-see…" He trailed off. He honestly couldn't think of a good enough excuse. Sam growled and walked away to join Lily and her friends.

Sirius turned to James. "Your sister needs to rethink her loyalties." James nodded in response.

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They were on their way home for the summer holiday. Sam had forgiven them for what they did to Severus but informed them that she was still going to be friends with him, no matter what they said. Lily was less forgiving. Even though Severus' words had stung her, she believed that he said them out of embarrassment. Usually, Lily was as civil as she could possibly be to James but now, she went out of her way to ignore him. While they were on the train, when Lily came to their compartment to see Sam, James cornered her.

"Look Evans, I was just defending your honor. Why do you have to be such a prude?"

Lily glared at him while the others winced at James' stupidity. "I'm not being a prude about anything! You senselessly attacked him and when I helped him, he was embarrassed."

"Are you dense? What he called you was disgusting! And you defend him!"

Lily got right up into his face. "I'd defend anyone that would annoy you!"

James broke out in a smug grin. "Oh Evans, the sooner you admit you love me, the happier we will all be!"

Lily growled. She really wanted to smack that look off of his face. "I'd never lower myself enough to love the likes of you, Potter!"

With that, she left. James turned around and was surprised that everyone was staring at him in disbelief. "What?" he asked innocently.

Sirius shook his head and laughed. "You really are a prat."


	19. Chapter 18: Every Word

Chapter 18: Every Word.

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James, Sirius, and Sam spent most of the summer together having fun. Sirius was surprised by how much fun Sam and him were having. They would spend their days together playing wizard chess, which she was getting much better at, and making fun of James. James was still bothered by the fact that Lily was still mad at him, according to what Sam told him.

Remus came to spend the last month of the summer with them and Sirius didn't understand why Sam wanted to spend all her time with Remus when they were having fun the whole time without Remus around.

Sirius and James were sitting in the living room and for the first time all summer, they were bored. They heard Sam and Remus coming down the stairs, laughing. Sirius looked up with interest. "Hey Sam! Want to play wizards chess?"

James looked at his friend with amusement. James knew that Sirius was developing a thing for his sister even if Sirius was too thick to realize it himself just yet. Sam shook her head. "No, thank you. Remus and I are going for a walk."

Sirius looked dejected. Sam felt bad but she didn't have a lot of time alone with Remus. They always hung out with James and Sirius. She loved them to death but sometimes she just wanted to be alone with her boyfriend. "Do you and James want to join us?" Sam asked in a sigh.

Sirius looked hopeful but James slapped his head. "No, you two go on without us." James replied while Sirius rubbed his head.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked just to be polite.

Sirius gave them an eager smile. "Well actually-" James slapped him on the head again and replied. "No, we're fine. You two need to be alone. You didn't get many chances this summer. Have fun."

They left quickly and Sirius glared at James. "Why the bloody hell did you keep hitting me for?"

James laughed. "They wanted to be alone. They asked just to be polite."

Sirius pouted. "You don't know that."

James rolled his eyes. "How thick are you? They need to be alone once and while. The way you've monopolized Sam's time and included us in their plans, I'm surprised they haven't hit you yet."

"I don't know what you are talking about." Sirius grumbled.

"Oh please, Padfoot. Save it for someone who will believe it. It's obvious you are starting to fancy Sam. But I'm warning you, you interfere in their relationship like last time and I'll hex you so bad you'll wish you have never been born."

Sirius grunted. "No! I'm not!" and left the room while James was left to himself, laughing.

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"I'm telling you, Sam, he is starting to fancy you." exclaimed Remus. 

Sam rolled her eyes. "Not this again! Remus, I don't care if he fancies a dog. I'm with you and he'll just have to get over it."

Remus sighed. "The signs are all there. How can you not have noticed?"

"I've noticed. Believe me, it's hard not to. I just want to be his friend, nothing more, and he knows that. I can't help it if he can't get over it."

"I just don't want his hands all over you when we see him at King's Cross."

"He won't because I won't give him the chance."

"_Dear Sam can't stop thinking about seeing you at the start of term. Never been more excited in my life. How's that boyfriend of yours? I'll hurt him if he hurts you again, I hope you know. I love you. Will you let me lick the bottom of your shoes? Love always, Michael._"

Sam was laughing so hard that she was gasping for air. "He didn't write all of that!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "He might as well have. I bet he can't wait for the day when you actually let him kiss you."

Sam shrugged. "We already have kissed. It was nothing special."

Remus could have been knocked over by a feather with the way he was staring at her. "W-When!"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "It was at the Christmas Ball in my second year. After I saw you kissing that Ravenclaw girl."

Remus blushed nervously. "O-Oh okay then. Never mind."

Sam hugged and kissed him. "Remus, can we forget about Michael? Can we just enjoy our first real moments of privacy without James and Sirius around?"

Remus smiled at her and held her tightly. "As you wish."

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Sam was wrong. She was very wrong. When she told Remus that Michael wouldn't have a chance to touch her, she didn't know how wrong she would be when she saw Michael run up to her. 

When Michael saw her, he practically pounced on her. He held onto her so tight that she thought she broke a rib. The only reason why Michael finally let go of her was because Remus pulled him off. Remus saw Michael's pathetic attempt to feel up his girlfriend and decided enough was enough. He pushed Michael off of Sam and gently brought her closer to him. He wrapped an arm gently around Sam's shoulders and glared at Michael.

"Hello, Remus." Michael said curtly.

Remus had to use every ounce of strength not to punch him in his face. "Michael."

Sam rolled her eyes at the pair of them. She couldn't believe how they were acting. "So, Sam, why don't we find a compartment and talk?" asked Michael eagerly.

Sam inwardly groaned. "Well, actually Michael, I was planning on sitting with Remus. We didn't get to spend that much time together over the summer and thought it would be nice."

Michael glared briefly at Remus and looked sadly at Sam. "I understand. I just thought that since we haven't really hung out together since the two of you starting going together that it would be nice to be alone. Just the two of us."

Remus clenched his fists. "Well maybe if you were able to get a girlfriend, you wouldn't be worried about how much time Sam and I spent together."

Michael growled. "Maybe if you didn't have your head up your ass you would realize that I missed my friend!"

Remus got into his face. "She was my friend first!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"WAS NOT!"

"Shut up!" Remus and Michael separated and stared at Sam. She looked at them in exasperation. "I'll sit with both of you. If you don't like it then tough. I'm not choosing between the two of you! I'll sit with Michael first since I have been neglecting him. Remus, I'll find you and the rest later on." She gave them both a look that dared them to try to disagree with her. They reluctantly nodded and went on their way.

There was a few hours left in the trip back to Hogwarts when Sam came to their compartment with Michael following behind her. Remus sneered at him and gave Sam a kiss hello. Sam sat next to Remus while Michael was on her other side. The others stared in curiosity at the scene while Michael continued to hog all of Sam's attention.

After a few minutes, Remus couldn't take it anymore. When Michael was in the middle of one of his summer stories, Remus loudly muttered. "Stupid ponce."

Michael stopped and glared at him. "What did you say, Lupin?"

Everyone was silent. Remus gave him a hard look and repeated what he said. "I called you a stupid ponce."

"What the hell is your bloody problem?"

"You are trying to steal my girlfriend, that's what my bloody problem is!"

"That's rich. Why don't you go cheat on Sam some more with Hannah?"

Everyone stared at them with their mouths hanging open in shock. Sam stood up and glared at them. "That's enough! I'm sick of this! You two have been sniping at each other like two old witches since we got on the train! I'm going to sit with Lily for the remainder of the trip. When we arrive at Hogwarts, I want the two of you to come to a truce!"

Sam left and Michael was glaring at the lot of them. Remus growled at him. "I never cheated on Sam with Hannah!"

Michael rolled his eyes. "That's not what I heard."

"I just pretended to sleep with Hannah to make Sam jealous."

Michael let out a cruel laugh. "That's classy, Remus, very classy."

James and Sirius leapt in between them when Remus lunged at him. "I don't know what she sees in you, Lupin. She's too good for you."

James stood in front of Michael. "Lewis, just because my sister feels sorry enough for you to be your friend, doesn't mean I have to like you. Now, unless you two want to lose her, I suggest you just pretend to play nice."

Remus and Michael reluctantly agreed. Michael soon left and Remus was still fuming. "Can you believe that git? I could kill him!"

Sirius, James, and Peter were laughing. "I honestly thought you were going to, Moony. Especially after that crack he made about you and Hannah." Sirius said laughing.

Remus glared at him. "I don't think I'll ever understand why she wants to be friends with that prat!"

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It was the first day after classes and Sam was hanging out with the boys by the lake. Sam was making fun of Sirius and he got her back by tickling her. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Sam laughing and screaming her head off while he jumped around and refused to let her go. The others watched and laughed at the scene. Sirius tripped and Sam landed on him. Sirius got a mouthful of a boob sandwich. She pushed off him and smiled. "Damn Moony! I don't know how you play with those weapons. They are so heavy!" Sirius said rubbing his jaw while laughing. 

Sam punched him in the arm and sat between Remus' legs. "They aren't heavy!" She felt Remus shaking with laughter and elbowed him in the stomach. "Remus! Stop laughing!" She said with a smile. "Defend their honor!"

Remus was still laughing. "They aren't heavy! Padfoot, apologize to them at once!"

Sirius walked over to them and bent down to look at her chest, while still laughing. "I'm very sorry. You two aren't heavy but you are splendidly big!" Sirius winked at them and slowly went to touch them.

Sam slapped his hands away. "What do you think you are doing, perv?"

Sirius smiled brightly. "I was just going to shake them to make sure we were still okay."

Sam laughed and pushed him away. Remus put his arms around her chest, protectively. He laughed at Sirius while saying. "Keep your hands off her chest, mate. They are ours to be played with."

James glared at them playfully. "Do you two morons mind not joking around with my little sister's …womanly areas!"

Sam rolled her eyes while the rest of them laughed. "Oh, James! You are old enough to use the proper term for them…boobies!" They all laughed in response.

Sam's laughter quickly stopped when Hannah passed by. "Hello, Remus." Hannah said sweetly.

Sam sneered at her while Remus shifted uncomfortably. "H-Hello, Hannah."

She gave him a small smile and blushed. "How was your summer?"

The others stared between them and didn't know what to do. "It was great. How about yours?"

Remus was feeling very uncomfortable. "Mine was excellent!" Hannah replied happily. Hannah saw Sam's hand around her wand and her eyes widened in fear. Hannah quickly said goodbye and left.

Everyone was cautiously quiet. Sam knew that nothing happened between the two of them but she couldn't help but feel jealous. She saw Lily across the lake and stood up. Remus looked at her in surprise. Before he could say anything, she spoke. "I'm going to go talk to Lily for a bit. Next time you see Hannah, Remus, try to keep it in your pants!" She kicked him in the shin before leaving.

Remus winced in pain and held his leg tightly to him. Sirius, James, and Peter looked at each other, uncomfortably. "Oh boy. You're really lucky she didn't aim a little higher, Moony." said James. Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement.

Remus groaned. "Nothing happened between Hannah and me. I don't know why she acted like that."

Peter laughed. "Okay, sure you don't."

James and Sirius grinned at Peter. Remus looked at his friends and groaned. "What? What is so damn funny?"

Sirius laughed. "Mate, you pretended to sleep with Hannah. Sam believed for a long time that you did,"

"She found out it was all a lie but she might…okay, does feel threatened by how Hannah is still around." James finished.

Remus sighed. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

They all shook their heads. "As long as Sam is alive, you'll always be in the dog house where Hannah is concerned." said Sirius.

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"Sam! Nothing happened between them!" Lily said. They were sitting next to each other on the other side of the lake. Sam told her what had happened and Lily was trying her best to calm her down. 

"I know that, Lily. I just still feel angry about it though. I thought I was over it but when I saw her trying to flirt with him right in front of me like I wasn't even there; I swear I could have killed her!"

Lily laughed. "I know it's hard to forgive him, Sam. You just need to think if your jealousy is worth losing him over."

Sam looked at her in surprise. "Who said I was losing him?"

Lily rolled her eyes at her friend. "Well, if you keep acting the way you did, you will lose him. Don't you trust Remus?"

Sam nodded. "Of course, I do. I just don't trust that whore around my boyfriend!" Lily laughed in response but quickly stopped when she saw Remus walking up to them.

Lily said a quick goodbye and left them alone to talk. Remus sat down beside Sam and sighed. Sam couldn't look at him. She felt so embarrassed at the way she acted. She couldn't bring herself to speak because she was afraid of how he was going to respond to her.

She was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her and made her sit on his lap. He held her closely and kissed the side of her head. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"Why are you sorry? I was the one that acted like a prat."

Remus let out a small laugh. "I'm sorry because I honestly forgot how much what I pretended to do with Hannah had hurt you. You have to realize that I would never do that to you."

Sam nodded. "I know that. I just got upset when I saw her flirting with you. I was afraid for a moment or several moments that you actually wanted to be with her instead of me."

Remus held her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. "Why would you think that?"

Sam looked sadly at him. "Now, don't get mad. I just figured that you already got what you wanted from me that you would be bored and would want someone new."

Remus looked completely offended and she felt bad for saying that to him. "How could you think that? Sam, you're the only one I've ever been with and the only one I want to be with. Do you honestly believe that I just wanted to be with you for sex? That I would actually think I _got what I wanted_ and leave you?"

Sam looked ashamed. "I know I'm being stupid. It's just that you hear about it all the time. Girl and boy are in love, they sleep together a few times and the boy leaves after getting what he wants, to find someone else to be with."

Remus sighed. "You've got to stop talking with Sirius' exes."

Sam laughed. "It just scares me, Remus."

"What does?"

"That one day soon, you'll leave me for Hannah. I mean, we slept together almost right away and the mystery is gone. You already know what it's like to be with me, so what's keeping you to stay?"

Sam rested her head on his shoulder and he rested his head on hers. "That's ridiculous! Sam, we've slept together more than a few times, and I'm not bored. Every time we are together, you amaze me. I love being with you, Sam. Even if we hadn't slept together, I'd still love being with you. Sam, you are the only girl that I want to be with. You're the only one I've ever loved!"

Sam sniffed. "Remus, you mean everything to me. You were my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and my first lover." She blushed when she finished and he smiled gently at her.

"What about Patrick? Wasn't he your first boyfriend?"

Sam groaned. "That prat? He was my first and last distraction! I count you as my first boyfriend a-and my first love."

"What about Sirius?"

Sam gave him a look and he laughed. "Sirius was my first crush. He doesn't love me except as a friend and I feel the same way about him. Every time I'm with you, I realize that you're the only one I ever wanted to be with completely."

Remus felt a swell in his chest but had to be sure she meant every word she said. "Are you completely sure?"

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?"

Remus shook his head. "Of course not. This is the first time and, I'm pretty sure, the last time I can give you a hard time about something."

Sam gave him a kiss. "Of course I am sure, Remus. I've only ever truly loved you." They hugged. Remus had his eyes closed while Sam looked guilty. She knew that she loved Sirius as more than a friend but she was in love with Remus and saw no reason to start trouble by saying that out loud.


	20. Chapter 19: Obvious

Chapter 19: Obvious.

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The first week of school was coming to a close and they were all in the Great Hall for breakfast. James was annoying Sam about Quidditch try outs. "Come on, Sam. I know you can do it! We've practiced all summer! You've gotten so much better! You could easily get on the team!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "James, stop. I appreciate your confidence in me but you already have a full team. You don't need me."

James groaned. "Yes, I do! Our two beaters and one of our chasers left. Just think about it. Try outs are tomorrow afternoon. This is my first year playing as captain and I want an even better team than last year!"

Sirius laughed. "Sam, just say you'll try out. If you don't, we'll hear all year about how it's your entire fault if we lose."

Sam smiled at Sirius and he blushed. "Fine. I'm only agreeing to this so you will shut up."

James beamed at her. "You won't regret it!"

"Want to bet?"

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It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon when Sam made her way down to the Quidditch pitch. There were quite a few people trying out and she felt really nervous. Remus and Lily were standing on the sideline, waiting for her. "Hey Sam!" Lily said giving her a hug. Sam smiled at her.

Remus brought her into a tight squeeze and gave her a kiss. "We came down here to support you. We hope you don't mind?"

Sam blushed. "That's really sweet. You two are just wasting your time though. I'm not going to make the team."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Of course you are. I saw you practice with your brother and Sirius, Sam. You have gotten a lot better. You're an amazing beater. James wouldn't have begged you to try out if he didn't think you couldn't do it."

Sam nodded. "I guess you are right. I better get over there before James yells."

She walked over to where the rest of the people that were trying out and saw James and Sirius talking excitedly. They waved at her and she blushed.

"Okay, thanks to you all for coming to try out. We have three positions open and we are only looking for the best. We are going to have several small practice games. Sirius, our Keeper, will go up and you lot can practice with him while I judge your performance."

Sam noticed Sirius smile and wink in her direction and she couldn't help but let out a small laugh. The first group went up and Sam watched them closely. They weren't bad but if this was her competition, she had a better shot than she originally thought.

The second group was called and Sam went up to join them. She was very nervous for a few moments until the practice game started. She had a quicker reaction time than the other person trying out for beater and more accuracy in hitting the bludger towards the opponent. Sam was feeling like she was on fire but that quickly ended when she saw Hannah walk up to Remus and tried to distract him from cheering her on. She saw Lily attempt to get rid of her but to no avail. Sam didn't know what came over her but when she had to hit a bludger away from Sirius, she took aim and hit it towards Hannah. She aimed it perfectly to nearly miss Hannah. Sam almost fell off her broom because when Hannah fell over she was laughing a little too hard.

"Sam!" James yelled and that quickly brought her back to the game. "Good hustle but try to keep it in the game!"

Remus was staring at her with wide, pleading eyes while Lily was laughing. Sam got back into the game and she felt it was over too soon. They waited in agony while James was talking with his teammates to decide who to choose.

"Okay, we've come to a decision. We will select the three new players and a few alternates just in case something happens to a player."

Sam was nervous. She knew that little stunt she pulled was probably her undoing to get onto the team. "Chris Anderson and Sam Potter are our new beaters."

Chris Anderson, a tall dark brown haired boy, was standing next to Sam and when he heard their names called, he pulled her into a tight hug and cheered. Sam laughed and saw Remus scowling out of the corner of her eye. Sam felt a giddy sensation run through her at that. She didn't like making Remus jealous but she decided if she was always jealous whenever he spoke to Hannah, then Remus could deal with a little jealousy.

James gave her a big hug and congratulated her. Sirius soon followed and it took him awhile to let go. "Sammy, you were brilliant! Even if you did try to knock out one of the fans."

Sam laughed when Sirius winked at her. "Thanks Sirius. I'm glad you enjoyed the show."

Remus pulled her away from Sirius and into his arms. "You were brilliant! I'm so proud of you!"

Sam blushed and held onto him tightly. "You aren't mad at what I did?"

Remus shook his head and laughed. "I was surprised even though I shouldn't have been. She wouldn't shut up even after I told her I was trying to concentrate on you. Did I mention how brilliant you were up there?"

"Yeah but I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

Remus laughed and kissed her deeply. "You were brilliant! I'm very proud of you!" Sam sighed happily. "Just one thing. Did that Anderson bloke have to hug you like that?"

Sam gave Remus a look. "He was just excited over being chosen. You don't have to worry about him."

As they walked away, they didn't notice Sirius staring after them looking defeated. However, Lily did notice and found it very curious.

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It was the third week of school and the boys were in potions. Potions was rather interesting on this particular day. Professor Slughorn promised them at the beginning of class to show one of the most dangerous potions ever invented. He had a cauldron filled with this potion in front of the classroom and gave each student a chance to smell it. Once each student had their chance, he began.

"This is a love potion. It is the best and worst concoction ever made." Professor Slughorn said. "Normally, I would show you this around Valentine's Day but I was recently inspired."

He stared at Remus with a smile. Remus looked away and blushed. A few days ago, Professor Slughorn caught Remus and Sam kissing in the corridors when Remus was supposed to be on patrol. Luckily, Professor Slughorn pretended he saw nothing and went on his way.

Professor Slughorn saw a few students snicker in response and he smiled a big bright smile at them. "You may think that a love potion can be harmless but it can in fact put someone in danger. Someone who has ingested this particular potion will be completely infatuated with the person that gave it to them and will do whatever they can to get this person. Now Mr. Black, tell us what scents caught your attention? Remember, each person will smell something different, so there are no wrong answers."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "Are you sure you want me to go first, Professor?"

Professor Slughorn smiled. "Mr. Potter, why don't you go first?"

James blushed and muttered. "Lily."

Professor Slughorn looked perplexed. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

James cleared his throat. "I smelled treacle tart, honeysuckle, and something that reminded me of flowers." He saw out of the corner of his eye that Lily was blushing furiously and purposely not looking in his direction.

Professor Slughorn smiled and nodded. "Mr. Black? What scents came to you?"

Sirius inwardly groaned. He really wished Professor Slughorn would go to someone else but knew he had to answer. "Strawberry oil, lavender, and I think something that smelled like…spring rain."

Sirius saw Lily look at him with a knowing smile. He felt a twinge of panic but realized it was impossible for her to know.

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Lily, Lilac, Sam, and Patty were sitting in the Great Hall talking. Sirius walked up to them and purposely sat next to Sam. Remus and James soon came to join them and Remus had to move Lilac out of the way to sit next to Sam.

Lily smiled in Sirius' direction before looking at Sam. "Mmm something smells like strawberries and lavender. Sam, I think it's coming from you."

Sirius looked up in surprise and was pleased to know that Remus and James didn't know what she was implying. Sam laughed. "Well, I'm using a shampoo that has lavender in it. And my perfume has strawberry oil in it."

Lily noticed that Sirius was blushing and possibly sweating. "That must be it. It's very nice."

Sam smiled in curiosity at her friend but was quickly distracted by something Lilac said.

Much to Sirius' relief, the conversation quickly changed and Lily stopped asking Sam questions about her scent. He was also relieved that Remus and James still appeared to be oblivious to what had just happened.

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It was the fifth week of school and Sirius had done his best to avoid Lily as much as possible since the incident in the Great Hall. Whenever Sirius was with Sam and Lily was there, Lily would always give Sirius a knowing smile while Sirius would give her a nasty look in return.

That night, Sirius and James had detention with Filch. It had been raining hard all week and when they came into the castle after an extensive Quidditch practice, they tracked mud all over the place. Filch found them when they were mere inches away from the portrait hole and given them detention.

Filch had forced them to clean most of the classrooms and saved tonight for them to clean the Great Hall. James was forced to stay behind because Filch didn't like the technique he was using to scrub the Great Hall.

Sirius walked into the common room. His whole body was sore from all the scrubbing that Filch made him do. Sirius stopped dead in his tracks. Lily was sitting in the armchair by the staircase and was staring at him, head on. He tried to walk quickly past her but her words stopped him. "If you don't stop to talk now, I'll tell Remus that you're in love with Sam."

Sirius reluctantly sat across from her. "What do you want, Evans?"

Lily smiled. "I want the truth."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Lily sighed. "Answer my questions and give me honest answers."

Sirius gave her a nasty smile. "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."

"Tell me lies and I tell Lupin."

Sirius glared at her. "Fine. Ask away."

"Are you in love with Sam?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Next question!"

"Answer me, Black."

Sirius groaned. "You think you already know the answer. Why I should tell you?" Lily gave him a look and he let out a sigh. "I don't know. I think I might be."

"How long have you possibly felt this way?"

Sirius rubbed his hands roughly across his face. "Since…this summer."

Lily nodded. "Sirius, you aren't planning to meddle in her relationship with Remus again?"

Sirius shook his head. "Of course not. I learned my lesson the last time. I couldn't bear it every time she wouldn't talk to me. Last year, she said she hated me and…I couldn't stand it. I'm finally back on her good side and I don't want to risk that again."

Lily nodded approvingly. "Good to know that you have learned your lesson. She's happy and in love with Remus. It's bad enough that that stupid cow, Hannah, keeps trying to get at him. They don't need anymore complications."

Sirius nodded. "I know. They are good for each other. But Sam and I are meant to be. When their relationship ends, and I can convince her to love me again, I'll do everything in my power to get her to be with me."

"Sirius, I hope you know that I wasn't trying to embarrass you by asking Sam about her scent or asking you these questions. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it all."

"I know. I don't blame you. All I think about is my feelings for Sam and making sure they are real."

They soon went to bed and thought over their conversation. Lily always noticed how at ease Sam and Sirius were with each other. It didn't matter if they were fighting, teasing one another or just silent. It was obvious to anyone with eyes; Sam and Sirius were perfect for each other. Lily also thought that maybe they were so comfortable with each other due to the fact that they'd known each other for years and during every summer holiday, Sirius lived at her house. The only thing that truly made sense was that they were meant to be.


	21. Chapter 20: Consequences

_Author's Note: I'm sorry but this chapter is rather predictable. I had to write it and I'm sorry if you hate it._

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Chapter 20: Consequences.

* * *

It was the day before the first Hogsmeade trip and Sam was working hard in the library. Lily was sitting next to her and they stopped their work to discuss what they were planning to do at Hogsmeade.

"Well, we could go to Zonko's. They have a bunch of great stuff there." offered Sam.

Lily nodded in agreement and opened a daily planner that her mother got for her before the beginning school year. "I can't believe Halloween is a week away! Time had really flown by."

Sam went pale. "H-Halloween? Can I see that book please?"

Lily gave her the planner and watched Sam closely. She noticed Sam's eyes widened in fear and shock. Sam was whipping through the pages back into September and let out a strangled sob. "Sam, are you ok? What's the matter?"

Sam was shaking and getting paler by the minute. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Lily grabbed her hands and forced Sam to look at her. "What's wrong?"

Sam groaned. "I'm late."

"Late for what?"

Sam gave Lily a desperate look. "I'm late."

Realization hit Lily like a ton of bricks. "A-Are you sure?"

"Three weeks according to this."

Lily stared at her for a few moments before replying. "Three weeks! How didn't you notice!"

Sam shrugged. "I've been under a lot of stress lately. It's my O.W.L. year and all the work they pile on us to prepare for the tests. I've got Quidditch practice almost every night. I was just too busy to realize."

"Didn't you two use anything?"

Sam looked offended. "Of course we did! We aren't stupid!"

"I can honestly disagree with that statement right now. What are you going to do?"

Sam stood up quickly. "I've got to tell Remus. Lily, how could this have happened? We are always careful and I'm never late."

Lily made Sam sit back down. She gave her a supportive hug and sighed. "Maybe you're late because of stress, just like you said. Stranger things have happened. If it doesn't come by tomorrow, talk to Remus."

Sam nodded. "You're right. It will come tomorrow and we will have a good laugh about my stupidity."

They quickly went back to work while both were secretly hoping that there was nothing to worry about.

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Sam was acting weird. Remus had no idea what was going on but realized she and Lily both were acting very weird.

Every time he would put his arm around her or try to kiss her, she would stiffen up and move away. He had given up trying to understand what was wrong. Remus walked with James and Peter. Lily and Sam were walking a few feet behind them. Sirius was in the middle of the two groups.

"Has it come yet?" Lily asked anxiously. Sirius' ears perked at the tone of her voice. He tried his best to listen in on their conversation.

He heard Sam groan. "No! I have no idea what I am going to do if it doesn't."

"If what doesn't come?" The girls stopped short at Sirius' question. James, Remus, and Peter turned and stared at them as well. "

"Her Christmas present for Remus." Lily blurted out.

"But Christmas is more than a month away." Sirius said looking at them closely.

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "That may be true but I ordered it and it was supposed to be here by now. I just want it so I don't have to worry about it."

Remus took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "That's why you've been acting weird all day?"

Sam gave his a half nod. "Uh…yeah. Silly reason I know." Remus smiled brightly at her and she felt like she was about to cry.

They walked around for a while with brief stops at some shops before going back to the castle. Lily pulled Sam away from everyone and went up to her room. "So, what are you going to do?" Lily asked her once they closed the door.

Sam flopped down on Lily's bed and loudly groaned. "I have no idea. What do you think I should do?"

Lily shrugged. "I guess you could go to Madam Pomfrey. She doesn't ask too many questions."

Sam sighed. "What questions would she ask? Besides, the obvious two; what were you thinking? And my personal favorite, how stupid can you be!"

Lily let out a little laugh. "Sam, you've got to do something. You need to find out for sure if you are."

Sam groaned. "I know. This just really… sucks! I can barely take care of myself let alone a child!"

"Tell Remus. He deserves to know and you can't go through this alone. I mean, you have me, no doubt about it, but you need him to support you too."

Sam stood up and looked at Lily with sadness in her eyes. "I know. I'm going to tell him now. Wish me luck."

When Sam left the room, Lily let out a big sigh. She felt like she couldn't breathe and almost cried at her best friend's possible misfortune.

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Remus had his arm around Sam as they walked into the Room of Requirement. It had looked exactly the same when they had last been there to Remus' excitement and Sam's anguish.

He kissed her deeply and sat down on the bed. She broke away from him and looked into his eyes. She didn't know how she was going to tell him but knew that she had to. "Remus, we need to talk."

Remus' breathing slowed down almost immediately. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Sam let out a small nervous laugh. "No, of course not."

Remus let out a sigh of relief and kissed her again. "Good. You know, I don't think I properly congratulated you for getting on to the Quidditch team."

Sam blushed and giggled as he kissed her neck. "Remus, you did."

Remus looked deeply into her eyes and she honestly thought that she could melt right then and there. "I don't think I did."

They laid down on the bed and Sam quickly forgot what she had to say.

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"He looks like he took the news well." Lily said later that night while they were sitting in the corner of the common room. Sam didn't look at her and Lily knew why. "You didn't tell him! Why the bloody hell not!"

"I was going to but we got distracted."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Isn't that how you got into this mess in the first place?"

"Lily, don't you think I understand what might be happening! You've never been through this! So, please, hold the lecture!"

"I've never been though this because I have enough sense to keep my legs closed!"

Lily immediately regretted saying this. The look on Sam's face nearly broke her heart. Sam got up and left before Lily had time to apologize.

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The fact that Sam wasn't speaking to Lily was very noticeable. It was Monday and Sam was ignoring Lily's attempts to apologize. Lily was in the Great Hall for lunch, waiting for Sam, when Lilac came running up to her. "Lily! Do you know what's going on with Sam?"

James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily looked up at Lilac in surprise. Lily looked uneasy at everyone. "N-No, I don't. Why do you ask?"

"Well, we were in Transfigurations and Sam kept messing up, which never happens. Well, McGonagall starts in on her and Sam yells at her. She said that this class would never matter and it was all a bunch of crap in the long run. McGonagall told her to go straight to Dumbledore after classes and Sam ran out of the classroom, crying."

They looked at each other in surprise and didn't know what to say.

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* * *

Sam walked nervously into Dumbledore's office and saw him sitting at his desk. He looked at her with concern in his eyes and she began to cry. Dumbledore quickly got out of his chair and guided her to a seat. "Ms. Potter, what is troubling you?"

Sam trembled while she told Dumbledore every thing. She looked up and saw disappointment written all over his face. Sam looked down, feeling ashamed, and started to cry all over again. "I'm sorry, Professor Dumbledore. Y-You must hate me."

Dumbledore rested a hand on her shoulder, comfortingly. "I will not lie to you. I am disappointed that you find yourself in this particular situation. Have you told Remus about this?"

San shook her head. "No, sir. I was too scared to tell him. Professor Dumbledore? Do you hate me?"

Dumbledore gave her a small smile. "I do not hate you. I do, however, want you to tell Mr. Lupin about this. Also, you will go to Madam Pomfrey and make sure you are not pregnant. I want to know what happens immediately, so we can deal with the consequences."

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* * *

Sam walked into the common room slowly. She was quickly surrounded by Remus, James, Sirius, and Lily. They each took turns hugging her before hounding her with questions. She didn't say anything. All she did was grab Remus by the hand and they left the common room and went to be somewhere private. They went by the lake and she sat him down. Remus looked at her, feeling nervous. She finally spoke. "I think I might be pregnant." She quickly told him everything that had happened the past few days and waited anxiously for his reaction.

Remus felt like his world was crashing around him. "H-How did you let this happen! Why didn't you tell me right away?"

Sam looked like she was going to cry again. "Excuse me! It took two to make this a possibility!"

Remus hugged her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you. I was just in shock."

"How do you think I feel?"

"I know. I'm sorry. Look, you'll go to Madam Pomfrey, like Dumbledore said, and find out for sure. Everything will be fine." Sam hugged him tightly and cried. Remus held onto her and felt an overwhelming sense of fear.

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* * *

Sam and Remus walked back to the common room and gave everyone a lame excuse about stress causing her little outburst in Transfigurations. Sam went to see Madam Pomfrey while the boys snuck into the kitchens. Sirius had somehow snuck in a bottle of fire whiskey. By the end of the night, Remus was drunk. He felt that after everything Sam told him, he deserved this. He went for a walk around the castle by himself. He was by the astronomy tower when Hannah came up to him. "Hello Remus."

Remus jumped in surprise and gave her a weak smile. "Hello Hannah. What are you doing here?"

Hannah blushed. "I saw you stumbling around, looking rather upset. I thought you needed to talk."

Remus started to cry. Hannah quickly held him and tried to sooth him. She made him face her and kissed him.

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Sam had never been happier. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore said that it was just a false alarm. She went in search of Remus to give him the good news. She searched everywhere before coming to the astronomy tower. What she saw made her want to throw up.

Remus was kissing Hannah's neck and had his hand in her opened shirt. Hannah was smiling right at her. "You bastard!" Sam shrieked.

Remus quickly ripped himself away from Hannah and gasped at seeing Sam. "S-Sam! It's not what you think!"

Sam looked at him in disgust before running away. Remus soon followed after her, leaving Hannah by herself.


	22. Chapter 21: Hardest Thing

Chapter 21: Hardest Thing.

* * *

"Hey! We've been calling you two for the past ten minutes! Lunch is ready!" Ron exclaimed. He entered the room with Hermione following close behind.

Harry and Ginny looked up at them in surprise. Hermione and Ron sat on the floor across from them. "What are you reading?" Hermione asked.

Harry handed over the letter to them and let them read. Hermione and Ron stared in surprise. "Y-You have an aunt?" whispered Hermione.

"Keep reading." Ginny suggested. She had her hand on Harry's. They were still in shock about what they had just read.

"Yuck! She kissed Snape!" exclaimed Ron.

Harry laughed. "Yeah, she did. I was pretty ill when I read that part too."

Harry took the letter and caught them up to where he and Ginny left off. Hermione and Ron were just as shocked as they were. The four of them jumped when they heard Mrs. Weasley call up to them for lunch.

They walked downstairs and sat at the table. Professor Lupin and Tonks sat down across from them and smiled. The rest of the Weasley's soon joined them and they began to eat.

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny watched Harry closely. Every time Professor Lupin spoke, Harry would scoff and roll his eyes. Harry didn't know what came over him but before he could stop himself he started directing questions at Professor Lupin. "Professor Lupin? Do you believe in sex before marriage?"

Everyone stopped. Harry noticed that all eyes were on him, especially by the Weasley's. The Weasley men, except Ron who knew what he was talking about, were staring at him closely. Harry heard Ginny groan behind him. "No! It was just a question for Professor Lupin! Ginny and I are waiting until we are married!"

This caused more staring. Even Ginny, Ron, and Hermione were shocked by his answer. Mrs. Weasley looked close to tears. Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, and Mr. Weasley all had their mouths open. "Y-You want to marry our Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Her voice was full of emotion.

Harry blushed and shifted uncomfortably under everyone's stares. "O-Of course I-I do. Someday, later on, hopefully we will."

Harry turned to look at Ginny and blushed. The shock on her face made him smile. "You want to marry me?" Ginny choked out.

Harry laughed. "Yes, I do. Someday, down the road, I hope we will."

Ginny blushed and laughed. She was rather enjoying the state of his unease. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and began to eat. Mrs. Weasley raced over and brought them into a big hug.

"Hey! I'm going to marry Hermione! Why don't we get hugs!" Ron yelled.

Hermione choked on her pumpkin juice and stared at Ron. "Y-You what?"

Ron's ears were red hot and he gave her a sheepish smile. Mrs. Weasley was openly weeping tears of joy. She gave the four of them hugs while Hermione still stared in disbelief at Ron. "Y-You what?"

Bill laughed. "You gave her a big scare there, Ron."

"Who wouldn't be scared," said Fred.

"If Ron wanted to marry them?" George finished.

Ron was blushing even worse now. "Well, why wouldn't I want to…you know? I …you know…you."

Charlie rolled his eyes at his younger brother. "Nice sentiments, Ron. No wonder she keeps jumping up and down for joy."

Harry and Ginny held in their laughter while Hermione was still staring at Ron, dumbfounded. "Y-You what?" Hermione repeated.

"I-I-I would like to…do I have to say this in front of everyone!"

"Yes!" They yelled.

Ron grumbled in frustration and blushed. "I would like to marry you one day because I love you."

Mrs. Weasley was being held by Mr. Weasley while she cried tears of joy. Hermione nodded. "Okay then. That would be nice." Ron smiled brightly at her and kissed her deeply. Hermione blushed in response while everyone cheered.

Things seemed to settle down and that's when Harry started to question Professor Lupin again. "Professor Lupin, you never answered my question."

Professor Lupin sighed and put down his fork. He eyes Harry closely before speaking. "What question, Harry?"

"Do you believe in sex before marriage? Please, don't look at me like that. I already said I would marry Ginny first."

Professor Lupin looked very uncomfortable under everyone's gaze. Tonks was trying her best to hold in her laughter. "It's…uh…different for every person."

"Do you believe that if you're girlfriend is pregnant that it's okay to cheat on her? Please, stop looking at me like that."

Tonks was staring at Professor Lupin closely. "Remus?"

Remus looked at her and then back at Harry. Harry didn't care if Professor Lupin was feeling uneasy. He cheated on his aunt when they thought she was pregnant and that was unforgivable. Harry knew that he may not have known Samantha but after reading part of Sirius' letter, he felt a connection towards her. "What exactly are you getting at, Harry?"

"I think you know."

"Harry, why don't you save this for later?" Ginny suggested.

Harry sighed and nodded. The four of them ate quickly and were running up the stairs to finish the letter. "Hey! You can't read the letter without me! She was my aunt!" Harry yelled.

He heard a few dishes fall to the ground and break. Harry and Ron stopped and looked back down in the kitchen. They saw Professor Lupin staring at them, looking rather pale. Ginny and Hermione were by their sides seconds later. "Harry, I think we should talk in private." Professor Lupin whispered.

"Well, they already know the whole story. Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of them."

Professor Lupin followed them upstairs and went back into Sirius' bedroom. They sat around in a circle. "I see you found Sirius' letter."

Harry nodded. "I did. It was quite a shock to learn that I have an aunt. Why didn't you tell me?"

Professor Lupin sighed. "I didn't know how to. Sirius told me that he would. Sirius was planning on telling you when you spent Christmas here but with everything that happened at the time, he didn't think the timing was right. He told me that he going to write it all out in a letter. Sirius didn't say when he was going to give it to you."

"In the letter, he wrote that he wanted Harry to read this after he was dead. We think that he couldn't handle all of Harry's questions because it would hurt too much." Hermione said.

Professor Lupin nodded slowly. "Understandably so. We loved Sammy a lot and she loved us. She meant a lot to me and still does. You might want to finish the letter before we speak."

"Why don't you stay and finish the letter with us?" Ginny suggested.

Professor Lupin smiled gently at her. "Thank you, Ginny. I think it would be better if you all read it alone." Professor Lupin quickly left and the four of them began to read from where they left off.

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Sam couldn't get out of bed the next day. It took Lily, Lilac, Patty, Mary, and Alice to force her to go to breakfast. They didn't dare ask what was wrong. When they entered the Great Hall and saw her reaction when she saw Remus, they knew he did something to her.

They sat around her and forced her to eat something. They quickly ushered her out before Remus could talk to her. Lily held her back from the rest of the group and asked her the important question. "Did you find out yet?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, I did. Don't worry; you aren't going to be an aunt yet."

Lily cheered but quickly stopped and looked at Sam. "Then what's the matter?"

"Last night, after I found out that I wasn't pregnant, I went to find Remus to tell him the good news. I found him with Hannah, snogging like bunnies. He had his hand in her shirt and she was staring right at me, smiling."

Lily was shocked and before she could say anything, Sam walked in her class. Lily sighed and went to Transfigurations. Lily saw Remus looking at her expectantly and she glared at him. When class was over, Remus stopped Lily. "How is everything?"

She looked at him in disgust and was pleased when he looked ashamed. "You should ask your girlfriend. By your girlfriend, I meant Sam, not Hannah." Remus looked away guiltily. "You make me sick." Lily told him before walking away.

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Sam walked sluggishly into the common room after classes were over. Sirius saw her and made her stop. "Sammy, are you okay?"

Sam decided not to tell him about the past few days. The last thing she needed was to feel guilty about Remus getting into fights with Sirius and James. "Nothing. I'm just overworked and over tired. I should be fine in a couple of days. Nothing to worry about."

Sam left him and went up to her room to sleep. Sirius stared after her and didn't believe a word that she said. Remus ran into the common room moments later. "Have you seen Sam?"

Sirius looked at him closely before answering. "Yeah, I just talked to her. She went upstairs to catch up on some sleep. Moony, is everything all right between the two of you?"

Remus sighed. He knew Sam didn't tell Sirius about what happened and he was grateful. "Everything is fine. I just wanted to make sure she was feeling okay."

Remus went to the stairs and started yelling her name. Sirius went next to him. "Mate, let her sleep!"

Sam appeared at the top of the stairs and looked between the two of them. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk?" Remus asked quickly. Sam sighed and walked down the stairs. She walked past them and Remus quickly followed after her. They walked out on to the grounds and were silent for awhile before stopping by the lake. "Are you going to break up with me?" asked Remus. He felt like he had a knot in his stomach.

He watched her closely and sighed when all she did was shrug. He waited in agony until she finally spoke. "I was coming to find you to tell you that I'm not pregnant." The knot in his stomach eased a little but waited for her to continue. "She was smiling at me when I found you two together."

Remus looked at her in shock. "She what?"

Sam was glaring at the lake. "I have loved you for a long time."

"_Loved_?" Remus choked out.

When she looked at him with tears in her eyes, his heart broke. "I still love you, Remus. I just don't trust you anymore."

"Sam, I'm sorry. I was upset by the fact that you might be pregnant. Sirius, snuck in some fire whiskey and I got drunk. Hannah was just there and it didn't mean anything."

"So, you are blaming your actions on me, Sirius and Hannah? Hannah, well, you can blame her. This isn't Sirius' fault. He didn't force you to drink, did he?"

Remus let out a groan. "No, he didn't. I wasn't blaming you or Sirius. I just wanted you to know the circumstances. I was scared at the thought of possibly being a father at sixteen. I drank to forget for a while and then I broke your heart."

"Do you want to be with Hannah?"

"No, I don't. I want to be with you."

Sam looked into his eyes and tried to see if he was being truthful. She couldn't tell and knew in her heart that she didn't believe him. She just wasn't ready to let him go. She swallowed down her doubt and kissed him. He pulled her close and deepened the kiss. He rested his forehead on hers and sighed. "I'm sorry, Sam. I really do love only you."

Sam felt tears sting her eyes. "I love you, Remus." She knew in her heart that their relationship would soon be over. Sam felt like her heart was shattering into pieces and couldn't breathe. She knew she should have ended things right then and there but couldn't bring herself to do it. It was the hardest thing to be brave enough to let go of the one thing you truly loved.


	23. Chapter 22: The Only Request

Chapter 22: The Only Request.

* * *

"You're still with him?" asked Lily. After her talk with Remus, Sam came back into the common room and saw Lily sitting at one of the tables. Lily apologized for what she said to Sam and was relieved when Sam forgave her. Sam told her about her conversation with Remus down by the lake and Lily was surprised. "How could you possibly forgive him after what he did with that cow?"

Sam was looking down at the floor and let a few tears escape her eyes. She angrily wiped them away and sighed. "I didn't forgive him. I just didn't break up with him."

Lily rolled her eyes and scoffed. "That's the same thing."

"I couldn't let him go, Lily. I love him too much and I'm not ready to let him go."

Lily sighed. "Sam, I'm sorry."

Sam looked at Lily with such sadness and pain in her eyes that Lily almost cried. "I know it's over between us. I felt it in my bones that we would soon be over. I'm just not ready to say goodbye to him just yet."

They saw Remus look over at them and give them a nervous smile. Lily glared at him while Sam barely managed a smile. "Sam?" Lily whispered.

Sam looked at her. "Just give me time, Lily. That's all I ask."

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( a week later )

* * *

Sam was with the Quidditch team waiting for their game to start against Hufflepuff. Chris was standing next to her, smiling. "My girlfriend is so excited about this match. I think she is more excited than I am."

Sam gave him a weak smile. "Really? Who is your girlfriend?"

Chris looked at her awkwardly. "Hannah Benjamin." Sam scowled. "I know what happened between her and Remus."

Sam looked at him with shock written all over her face. "Y-You do?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, I do. Of course, I was angry. I wanted to go after him but I figured, if you could forgive him, than I could forgive her."

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Uh…yeah…sure."

The match began. Sam and Chris played excellently because; they both later confessed to each other, that they pictured Remus and Hannah's faces on each of the bludgers that they hit. They slaughtered Hufflepuff in record time. They landed on the ground and celebrated with the team. Chris hugged her tightly and she knew it was meant for more than just winning the match.

Remus came running over and started to shout in joy. "That's my brilliant girlfriend! That amazing beater is my girlfriend!"

Sam shared a sad smile with Chris as they hugged their significant others. Remus eyes Chris suspiciously. "Is there something going on between you and Chris?"

The look she gave him made him regret asking that question immediately. "No, Remus, there isn't. Why do you ask?"

Remus wasn't stupid enough to answer honestly. "No reason. J-Just kidding."

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The wall Sam put up between her and Remus quickly came down. Everything seemed to be back to normal between them but Sam knew better. She knew it was only a matter of time before it was over.

She heard that Chris and Hannah broke things off and she felt his pain. She knew that Chris really loved Hannah but all Hannah could do was talk about Remus. Sam and Chris became friends and she tried her best to comfort him when he ended things. Sam didn't know exactly how to comfort him since she was still too scared to end things with Remus.

Sam was sitting alone in the common room when Sirius came storming in. She looked up at him in surprise and he sat down, scowling. "I got a letter from that woman who supposedly gave birth to me."

Sam let out a small laugh. "Oh yeah? What did mummy dearest have to say?"

Sirius' mouth twitched. "She told me that after the ball that I am coming home to spend Christmas with my family."

Sam gave his hand an encouraging pat. "Well, James, Remus, and I are leaving after the ball to go home as well. Whenever you get the chance, you can join us."

Sirius smiled brightly at her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Sammy. That helps a lot."

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It was the night of the Christmas Ball and Sam and Remus' two year anniversary. They met in the common room and walked down together. Sam looked beautiful in her bright blue dress robes and Lily was wearing gold dress robes that complimented her gorgeously. Lily had asked Sirius to go with her, much to the surprise of everyone including Sirius. James was going with some fifth year from Hufflepuff. Peter had decided to join them at the ball and they were shocked when they found out that his date was none other than Hannah Benjamin.

Remus felt Sam stiffen at his side and knew that it was going to be a long night. They sat at their table and Hannah purposely sat across from Sam and Remus. Sam did her best to ignore her but it was hard especially when Hannah made a comment that was completely off topic from what the rest of the table was discussing. "Isn't it really pathetic when a girl refuses to leave her boyfriend when it's so obvious he wants someone else?" Hannah was smiling right at Sam.

Sam wanted to scratch her eyes out. "What's pathetic is a stick figure like you thinking that she can satisfy a man that's used to a woman with much more to offer." Sam and Lily shared a laugh while Hannah scowled. Remus inwardly groaned.

"If you mean a girl with tree trunks for thighs then I guess you are right!"

Sam slammed her fists on the table and everybody jumped, including Hannah. "My thighs aren't tree trunks!"

Hannah gave her an evil smile. "That's not what Remus said the night you found us on the astronomy tower."

James and Sirius glared at Remus. Remus refused to look at them. Sam lunged at her from across the table and the boys had to pull her back. Hannah fell backwards out of her chair. Hannah quickly got up and walked away. "You and I need to talk!" grunted James at Remus.

"She was lying, James. Remus was never on the astronomy tower with her." Sam said. Remus looked at her in surprise but quickly recovered.

"Then why did you try to attack her?" James asked.

Sam sighed. "Because she had been begging for me to punch her since last year."

When things died down, Remus turned to Sam. He pulled out a velvet box and looked deep into her eyes. "I got this for you for our two year anniversary and Christmas present."

Sam looked as if she was about to cry. She pulled out a small box as well. "I got this for you too. An anniversary and Christmas gift."

They exchanged gifts and Sam made him open his present first. Remus gasped in delight. He stared at the beautiful watch she got for him. "Look on the back." She suggested happily. He quickly turned it over and read the inscription. "_To remember the time we spend together. Love Always, your Sammy._"

Remus looked at her with tears in his eyes. "It's beautiful, Sammy. I love it." He kissed deeply. She opened her present. She was in shock. There was a beautiful silver locket. "Look on the back." He said sheepishly. She turned the locket over and sighed happily. "_To remember the memories we make. Love, Moony._"

She had tears in her eyes. "I love it, Remus. Thank you." She kissed him and let him put it around her neck.

Sam showed Lily the locket and while they were giggling over the sweetness of his gift, Remus looked at the dance floor and saw Hannah slow dancing with Chris. Sam turned towards him and saw him glaring at the pair. Her breath slowed down as she watched him get more and more jealous. Sam knew the time had finally come. Tonight was the last night with Remus. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "I think we should break up."

Remus nodded distractedly. "Yeah, whatever you want." Her words finally settled in his brain and when turned to look at her, she was already walking out of the Great Hall in a hurry. He saw the locket he just gave her resting on the table. Remus picked up the locket and ran after her. He caught up to her when she reached the stairs. "Sam!"

Sam turned around and had tears in her eyes. "What do you want, Remus?"

Remus stared at her. "Y-You want to break up?"

Sam walked towards him and looked him in the eyes. "It's what's best."

"Please Sam, can't we talk about this?"

Sam didn't care that she was openly crying. "Talk about what?"

"Sam, let's go outside and talk."

Sam reluctantly agreed and they walked out onto the grounds. Things between them were painfully silent and it was after a few minutes, Remus couldn't take it anymore. "Sam? Why do you want to break up?"

Sam sniffed and wiped away her tears. "Isn't it obvious? You cheated on me. You still want to be with Hannah. And…you don't love me anymore."

Remus looked like he was in pain. "I still love you, Sam."

"But you want to be with Hannah. Its okay, Remus. I mean, I hate her, don't get me wrong, but I love you enough to let you go and be with her."

Remus slight laughed before sighing. "What's going to happen next?"

Sam let out a small sad smile and touched his cheek gently. "We'll go to my parents' house for Christmas, as planned. We won't tell anyone for a bit. And, if you could hold off on being with Hannah for a little while, that would be nice."

Remus held her closely and let a few of his own tears slip out. "Whatever you want."

She kissed him and leaned into him. "We're going to be okay, Remus. We'll still be friends and you know I'll always love you."

Remus sighed into her neck. "I'll always love you too." He waited a minute before saying. "I can't believe that this is the last time we are going to have sex."

She let out a loud laugh. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could speak, she spoke. "Yeah, it's a shame tonight will be the last night we are together."

He stared at her in surprise. "I was kidding around but if you are sure…" He trailed off and dragged her up to his room.

"We could do things we've never done before." She suggested while wiggling her eyebrows.

"Like what?"

She whispered in his ear and he gasped. Sam laughed. "Lilac told me that was what Michael would like to do."

Remus laughed. "I always knew that Michael was a freak." They entered his room, laughing with glee. They locked the door and began to kiss. Remus stopped for a moment. "I want you to keep the locket. So you will always remember the good times."

She smiled at him and his heart melted. "Keep the watch."

"I'll only ever truly love you, Sam."

Sam shook her head. "You'll love someone more than you love me one day. She'll be everything you never knew you needed. Just don't be scared to let her in."

He stared at her oddly. "Okay…I still will always love you."

"I'll always love you too."


	24. Chapter 23: Perfect

Chapter 23: Perfect.

* * *

Sirius and James lazily walked up the stairs to their room. Sirius noticed the door was locked and he had a good idea why. "J-James, why don't you go downstairs?"

James gave him an odd look. "Why?"

"Uh…Lily m-might still be down there. You could work on her some more."

James let out a big smile. "Good idea, Padfoot. I'll see you later."

Sirius walked in cautiously and secretly hoped that he didn't see anything that would cause him to scratch his eyes out. He, thankfully, saw them sound asleep with a sheet covering them. Sirius knew that they had been sleeping together but it didn't stop him from feeling jealous. He didn't know what made him do it but he punched Remus in the arm to wake him up.

"Ow! What the hell?" Remus groaned. He quickly sat up when he saw Sirius standing over him. "Sirius? What are you doing?"

"James almost walked in on the two of you. Go downstairs and distract him. I'll take care of Sam."

Sirius turned around while Remus quickly dressed. He turned towards her when the door shut. Sirius sat down beside her. The sheet on the bed barely covered her and he did something he never thought he would. He ran his fingers over her bare arm and leaned in and kissed her. She sighed happily and murmured. "Remus?"

He sighed dejectedly. He shook her to wake her up. She moved around quickly and the sheet exposed her top half. His breath caught in his throat but he quickly recovered. "Sam! Sam! Wake up!"

Sam quickly sat up and looked at Sirius in confusion. "W-What are you doing here? W-Where's Remus?" She noticed him staring wide-eyed at her chest and looked down to see herself exposed. She pulled the sheet up to cover herself and blushed.

Seeing her blush like that made him realize he had never seen her look so beautiful. "Moony is downstairs distracting your brother. He almost walked in on you two but I convinced him to go downstairs to bother Lily. Now, get dressed quickly."

Sam was so grateful that she wrapped her arms around him, which caused the sheet to fall down around her waist, and gave him a brief kiss on the lips. This caused him to have a physical reaction and he knew he couldn't move. "Thanks Sirius! Can you turn around while I get dressed?" Sam noticed the pained look on his face and knew why. She blushed and laughed. "Okay, how about you stay there and close your eyes instead?"

Sirius nodded and groaned. "Thanks. Please, don't mention this to anyone." She winked at him and he smiled. He closed his eyes and didn't open them, even though he desperately wanted to look, until she said it was all clear. He turned around carefully and smiled. "Ok, you better get to your room before Prongs comes back up."

She went over to him and gave him a hug. "Thanks again, Padfoot." She winked at him and was about to leave when he grabbed her hand. "Sirius? What are you doing?"

Sirius looked at her intently before pulling her closely and kissed her. Sam pulled away from him. "Y-You better go. Please, don't mention this to Moony or your brother." She nodded mutely and left. Sirius stared after her and sighed. He knew what he did was stupid. Sam was his best friend's little sister and his other best friend's girlfriend. Sirius just couldn't help himself and wondered about how she looked at him and thought that maybe, just maybe, she might have enjoyed it as well.

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They had been home for Christmas break for two days. They were all worried about Sirius. They knew that he hated his family, and for good reason, and that they hated him as well.

They were just about to sit down to dinner when there was a knock on the door. James got up and opened the door. He saw Sirius standing there with all his worldly possessions, looking ashamed. James gave him a big smile. "Looking for a place to live? With a built in family?"

Sirius smirked at him. "Yeah, I am. Know of anywhere that has all that?"

James opened the door wide and helped him with his bags. "Yeah, I think I have what you are looking for."

They left his bags in the hallway and walked into the dining room. "Hey! Mum and Dad, we have a new member of the family that will be living with us from now on!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter stood up and hugged Sirius. Sam and Remus walked in and were surprised by his sudden appearance. Sirius explained that he got into a fight with his family about him being a disgrace to them and a blood traitor. He told them off and left for good. Sam gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Welcome to the family for real, Sirius." Sirius blushed while Remus scowled.

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It was February, and they were in the Quidditch locker room. James woke them up early and made them practice. He finally finished going over the plays and the team was leaving. Sam was leaning on Chris, they were fast asleep. Sirius went to wake up Sam but James ushered him out. Chris woke up and yawned. He shook Sam awake and they shared a smile. "Interesting speech your brother gave us."

Sam laughed. "Yeah, I know. I was so excited that I just had to close my eyes."

Chris awkwardly glanced at her. "How are things with Remus going?"

Sam sighed. "We broke up the night of the Christmas Ball."

Chris looked at her in surprise. "B-But you two seem to be still going out."

"We decided to wait to let everyone know. It will help us transition back to being friends. The only catch is that he can't ask Hannah out until I say it is okay, or until I start seeing someone new. Whatever comes first." Chris was looking at her oddly. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Chris laughed awkwardly. "I just had this crazy idea. Maybe … we should go out … you know … to help us get over Hannah and Remus."

"I don't know. I'm not ready to date anyone just yet, even if it is to get over my ex boyfriend."

Chris put his hands on her shoulders and stared. "It's perfect, Sam! We are already friends and this way we can help each other."

Before Sam could say anything, Chris grabbed her and kissed her. Sirius walked back in and saw them. He saw red and pulled Sam away from Chris. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He was pleased to see that Sam looked ashamed.

Chris glared at him. "What business is this of yours?"

"Well, she happens to be dating one of my best friends!"

"No, she-" Before Chris could finish his statement, he saw Sam looking at him with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry. She was trying to comfort me about Hannah. I'm really sorry, Sam."

Sam gave him a smile. "Not a problem. I'll talk to you later." Chris quickly left and Sam turned to Sirius. "Nothing happened. He was just upset over breaking up with Hannah."

Sirius stared at her. "Well, did he have to kiss you when he knows that you have a boyfriend!"

Sam looked at him in amazement. "Coming from the man who kissed me when I was naked and asleep in his best friend's bed!"

"Y-You knew about that?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Of course, I did, you ass! I just didn't want to embarrass you!"

"Oh okay then! I didn't know that!" shouted Sirius.

Sam gave him a look. "What the hell are you shouting at?"

Sirius looked awkwardly at her. "I don't know."

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James, Sirius, and Lily waited in the common room for Remus and Sam. It was a few days before Valentine's Day and Sam and Remus decided that it was time to tell them the truth. Remus was relieved because Hannah had not so subtly been pressuring him to take her out for the Hogsmeade weekend that happened to fall on Valentine's Day. They walked down together and faced their friends.

"What's this all about?" James asked grumpily.

Sam rolled her eyes at her brother. "Don't worry, this won't take long."

"Sam and I have an announcement to make." Remus said while nervously moving side to side.

James glared at them. "If the next words out of your mouth are that you got my little innocent sister pregnant, I'll have to kill you."

Sam and Remus smiled at each other awkwardly. Lily's eyes widened. "You aren't pregnant, are you Sam?"

Sam let out a loud laugh. "Hell no! We just wanted to let you know that we broke up."

"When?" Sirius exclaimed. Despite feeling shocked, Sirius felt his chance to be with Sam was finally here.

"The night of the Christmas Ball." Remus answered.

"Why did you wait so long to tell us?" Lily asked.

"What did you do, Remus?" James asked.

Remus looked at Sam, anxiously. Sam rolled her eyes at him. "Remus didn't do anything, James! Stop being such a prat. We didn't tell you because we wanted to get used to being just friends again. So, when you see us with other people, you will now know what's going on and not freak out."

Sirius smiled when he noticed Sam wink at him. "So, you two are okay with seeing other people?"

Lily hid her smile. She could just imagine how excited Sirius must be feeling at that moment. This is what he wanted for a long time. Remus laughed and no one seemed to notice that Sam went still. She hated the fact that Remus planned to take Hannah out on Valentine's Day. When he told her of his plans, it took every ounce of self control not to cry. It was what he wanted and she didn't want to put a stop to his happiness. "Of course we are okay with each other seeing other people. We talked about it for a while. That's why we took so long to come down." Remus replied.

Everyone reluctantly accepted their decision, despite their shock. Remus and Sam always appeared to be the perfect couple despite their disagreements. When everyone was gone, Sam and Remus shared a quick hug. "That went well." Sam said. She took in his scent before letting him go.

Remus gave her a smile. "It sure did. I'm going to tell Hannah the good news."

He left her standing by herself and looking sad. She stared after where he left and let a few tears slip down her cheeks. A realization hit her. "It's really over."


	25. Chapter 24: Opportunity Knocking

Chapter 24: Opportunity Knocking.

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It was Valentine's Day and everyone was buzzing with excitement, everyone except Sam. Sam walked down to the common room and saw Sirius sitting there. "Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?" Sam asked.

Sirius jumped in surprise. He looked at her and smiled. "I told James and Peter that I would wait for you. I hope you don't mind."

Sam smiled at him. "I don't mind. That was very sweet of you." Sirius smiled brightly in response. "I'm supposed to go with Lily. Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, I told her that we would meet up with her there."

She eyed him curiously. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you were trying to make this into a date."

Sirius sighed when she laughed. "I am."

"W-What?"

Sirius forced out a laugh. "N-Not a real one, of course. I just thought that since Remus is going with Hannah that you would feel better if you had a date. Even if it turned out to be pretend."

Sam gave him a tight hug. "You really are a great guy, Sirius."

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Later that night, Sirius and Sam were on top of the astronomy tower, looking at the sky. "I want to thank you for today, Sirius. I had a lot of fun with you."

Sirius put his arm around her and was happy when she leaned in close to him. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted to make you feel better."

Sam snuggled closer to him and his heart raced. "You did, Sirius. I especially enjoyed it when you hexed Hannah. Seeing her flop around like a fish in the middle of Zonko's, that really made my day. I could die a happy woman."

Sirius' hands began to sweat. "Are you over Remus?"

"No, I still love him. I know a part of me always will."

"Then why did you two breakup?"

Sam sighed and moved her head to look at him. "Because it was the right thing to do. Remus wants to be with Hannah now and I want him to be happy. Even if it is with that cow." Sirius laughed. Sam smiled at him. "Our first Valentine's Day, he said he loved me. We had said it many times before but that night, I truly believed him. I felt it in my bones and in my heart. Our second Valentine's Day, we fought about who loved each other more. That's when I knew."

"Knew what?"

"I knew that we loved each other the same amount. I knew the feeling of truly being loved back. I felt safe and secure when he held me. Now, on what should have been our third Valentine's Day together, he is with Hannah and I'm with you."

Sirius scoffed. "Well, thanks a lot."

Sam laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that if he is happy being with her right now, then its okay that I feel perfectly content being with you."

Sirius couldn't breath. He leaned in and kissed her. Sam kissed him back for a moment before pulling away, laughing. "Are you drunk, Sirius?"

"I feel like I am."

She lightly pushed him. "Ass. Thank you for the kiss. I needed to feel better about myself. You really are a good friend to me."

She walked away and left him standing there. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He felt a pain in his chest and he had no idea what to do about it.

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The boys were hanging outside by the lake. They were laughing when Sam and Lily walked by. Sirius saw them and then all of a sudden pushed James, hard. "Oi, Padfoot! What the hell!"

"Lily's over there with Sam."

James looked over in their direction and smiled. He ruffled his hair before pushing Sirius back.

Sam and Lily saw the spectacle they were making and laughed. "James must have seen you. Did you see him ruffle his hair before pushing Sirius?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "No offense but you're brother is a prat."

Sam laughed. "No offense taken. He is a raging prat."

They saw Sirius smile and wave at them. They laughed and waved back just as James tackled Sirius to the ground. Lily smiled and looked at Sam. "Looks to me as if I'm not the only person who is supposed to be impressed by this display."

"What do you mean?"

"I think Sirius is trying to impress you."

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh please. I'll admit that he has been acting strange lately but Sirius doesn't fancy me." Lily just smiled at her. Sam let out a slight sneer. "You don't think he fancies me, do you?"

Lily laughed. She was surprised by the look on Sam's face. "You don't want him to? This is what you wanted to happen since you were ten!"

Sam shrugged. "Well yeah, I did. Look at him. He is a great guy. Sirius is incredibly smart, fun, sweet, exciting, and I must say, gorgeous. Who wouldn't want him?"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well, he's my brother's best friend."

Lily rolled her eyes. "That shouldn't matter. You dated Remus."

"Good point. Well, I just broke up with one of Sirius' best friends and happen to still be in love with him."

"Remus has moved on and is with that cow, Hannah. Why shouldn't you move on with Sirius?"

Sam smiled. "If I did all of a sudden go insane and agree to go out with Sirius, I wouldn't want him to be rebound."

"You'd have to be insane to date Sirius?"

"You have to admit that every time he has shown the slightest interest in me that he would all of a sudden stop and hurt me."

Lily gave her a weird look. "So, you deciding not to date Sirius, is payback?"

Sam laughed. "Of course not! I would never do that to him! I love Sirius, I really do but I need to concentrate on someone else who isn't someone that my brother considers family."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You need to move on from Remus."

"Who says that I haven't?"

Lily gasped in surprise. "With who? And, why the bloody hell didn't you tell me sooner!"

Sam put her hand on her heart and gasped in mock surprise. "Why Lily Evans! Such language from someone with such an innocent face!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up! Now, tell me everything, you git!"

Sam laughed. "Michael and Chris asked me out last night. I said yes."

"To who?"

"To both of them!"

Lily looked at her in astonishment. "You are dating both of them! Do they know what you are doing?"

"Yes, they know. I told them that I'm not interested in a serious relationship right now and just felt that openly dating would be good for me. They agreed to it. Michael was a little harder to convince though."

"You could include Sirius in all this. You never know, he might just want a fling with you like all his other relationships."

Sam shook her head. "If Sirius is finally showing interest in me, then he wouldn't want just a fling. He knows James would kill him if that was really his intention."

Lily sighed. "I know but you two are meant to be. Everyone knows it."

"Lily, give me a break! We aren't meant to be. I mean, I used to think that we were but I was wrong. I'm just going to be with Chris and Michael."

Lily sneered. "Really? You want to date them?"

Sam laughed. "I thought you liked them?"

Lily shrugged. "Chris is a great guy. I understand why you two would go with each other but Michael? Not Michael!"

"I thought you liked Michael?"

Lily shrugged. "He's nice enough. He is a really great friend to you. He just can be a raging ponce." Sam let out a loud laugh. Lily smiled. "Plus, you are meant to be with Sirius!"

Sam smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! It's so obvious!"

"You know what's obvious, Lily?"

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at Sam with a suspicious smile. "What is?"

"That you and James are meant to be!"

Lily surprised Sam by pushing her. "Take it back!"

Sam pushed her back and laughed. "James and Lily sitting in a tree…" Sam ran away and Lily chased her. They ran near the boys and were gasping for air as they laughed. "Lily loves James! Lily loves James!"

"I knew it!" They heard James yell.

"I do not! Get back here, you git!" yelled Lily. Sam and Lily fell down, laughing. "You know, you really are a git!" Lily said. All Sam could do was laugh.

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"Evans! Wait up!"

Lily was walking down the hall but stopped to turn around when she heard someone calling her name. She saw Sirius running towards her. "What do you want, Black?"

Sirius caught his breath and smiled at her. "I want your advice."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Advice about what?"

"I wanted to ask your opinion about me asking Sam out." Sirius noticed her purposely not look at him. He groaned loudly. "What's the problem?"

"She's already going out with…"

Sirius looked at her anxiously. "Who is she dating?"

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "Michael…and Chris."

Sirius looked crestfallen. "She is? Michael _AND_ Chris?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, she wanted to openly date. Sam didn't want another serious relationship for awhile so she could get over Remus."

He appeared to be offended. "Well, why didn't she ask me? I would have agreed to it!"

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Would you now?"

Sirius grumbled. "Ok, I wouldn't have. I thought I made it quite clear that I was interested."

Lily sighed. "We discussed it. I made her realize that you have become interested."

"What did she say?"

"I want you to know that I tried to change her mind about Michael and Chris. I mean, Chris is nice enough and they are only dating so he can get over that cow, Hannah. Michael is just a ponce."

Sirius let out a laugh and nodded, but he couldn't be distracted. "What did she say, Lily?"

"I see I can't distract you. Ok, fine, I'll tell you. Let's just say that she didn't seem all that enthused. She did mention that she understood why someone would date you. Sam had so many nice things to say about you and she thinks you're gorgeous. I told her that you two are meant to be but she said I was wrong."

"Did she say why you were wrong?" Sirius saw how uncomfortable she looked. "Lily? What did she say? Just tell me, I can take it."

"She said that every time you showed the slightest interest in her, you would step back and then hurt her."

"Well, I can't deny that. I have acted like a prat where her feelings for me are concerned."

"Sirius? You don't just want a fling with her, do you?"

Sirius sighed. "This isn't like all my other relationships. I never felt this way about anybody else. You know what? I don't care if she is dating Chris and Michael. They will never last! I'm going to ask her out anyway!"

Lily smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear it. I hope she says yes! Just don't break her heart because you won't have to worry about just James hurting you."

Sirius hugged her. "I promise I won't. Thank you, Lily!"

Little did they know that Sam was staring at them from across the hall, scowling. She didn't understand what was happening. All she knew was that she was jealous as hell.


	26. Chapter 25: A Stammer And A Stutter

Author's Note: The plan in the later part of the chapter is really stupid. I just had to do it because it really needed to happen. I don't blame you if you scoff at the end of the chapter.

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Chapter 25: A Stammer and A Stutter.

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Michael and Chris were walking side by side down the hall with Sam. They were bickering about who would carry her books. Sam was getting annoyed, this fight they were having had been going on for the last ten minutes. Michael and Chris had a death grip on the strap of her bag. "It's my turn to hold it!" whined Michael.

Chris rolled his eyes. "No, it isn't! It's mine!"

Sam stopped walking and was silent. Remus and Hannah were walking down the corridor on the opposite side, holding hands. That was the last thing she needed to see. She faced them and grabbed her bag away from them. "Would you two stop it!" She yelled. They looked at her in surprise. She had been silent for most of the night and they were concerned. They wanted her to speak but they didn't want her to yell at them. "You both know that I like to carry my own bag unless I ask help. Please, remember that in the future, children."

She walked away from them and smiled at Remus as she passed. Hannah was glaring at her but she could careless. Chris and Michael ran to catch up to her and tried to grab her hands. That caused yet another fight. She was getting a migraine with all their fighting. Sam liked them but all their bickering had to stop. She pulled away from them and glared. "What did I just say! Stop fighting over every little thing!"

Michael sighed. "Sam, I don't think this is going to work. You have to choose one of us."

Chris snickered. "What? You can't handle the competition?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Chris, shut up and leave him the hell alone. Michael and I have to talk in private. I'll see you later."

Chris growled before stalking away. Sam sighed and turned to face Michael. "Michael, you know that I can't choose."

"Why not?"

"Because I care for the both of you. It wouldn't be fair."

Michael sighed. "Who cares about being fair? Sam, choose me. We can be happy together."

Sam bit her lip. "I'm sorry, Michael. I'm not ready to love someone just yet."

"Who said anything about love?" He replied defensively.

Sam gave him a sad smile. "I know how you feel about me, Michael. I'm not ready to love somebody just yet. I spent over two years loving someone and he is now with someone else. I can't just jump back into a committed relationship."

"When do you think you will be ready?"

Sam laughed. "I don't know. Love has a weird way of sneaking up on you. I was crazy about Sirius and then my relationship with Remus happened. I just need time to get over him. That's why I thought this arrangement with you and Chris would work. I didn't count on your feelings for me."

Michael nodded. "I understand. Are you going to stay with Chris?"

Sam nodded. "I think I will."

Michael rolled his eyes and groaned. "Why?"

Sam smiled. "Because I know he doesn't love me. He just wants to be with me to get over Hannah and that's what I need right now. Michael, I don't want you to hate me for this but it's my only chance to get over Remus. I hope you understand and that we can still be friends."

Michael hugged her. "We can still be friends. Whenever you are ready to be with me, I'll be there. Just do me a favor."

"Anything."

Michael smiled. "Please don't kiss him in front of me. I might have to punch him if you do."

Sam laughed. "I can handle that. The not kissing him part. The last thing that I want to do is hurt you."

"I know. Just know that I'll always be around when you need me."

Sam smiled and hugged him. He held her tightly and then gave her one last kiss.

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"Lily! Would you stop?" groaned Sam.

Once Sam walked into the common room after breaking things off with Michael, Lily was on her about Sirius. "No, I will not! You broke up with Michael and it's only a matter of time before you end things with Chris. Sirius is the best choice!"

Sam rolled her eyes. She knew Lily wouldn't stop talking to her about this until Sirius and she were married with a baby on the way. She sat down and pretended to listen to her rant on about Sirius. Lily sat down across from her and wouldn't shut up. "So, what do you say? Will you give Sirius a chance?"

Lily looked hopeful and Sam felt bored. "No, I will not. Sirius and I are just friends. Besides, I'm not ready to be with someone yet. I'm only with Chris because we don't love each other."

Lily rolled her eyes. "That's the biggest pile of bull I have ever heard. You have been in love with Sirius since you were ten!"

Sam sighed. "It's not love. It's just a crush. Haven't we been through this all before?"

"Yes, we have. And I don't believe you anymore than the last time you told me all this. I'm not giving up on you two!"

"Don't I know it! I'm going to bed. Try not to follow me, I actually want to sleep."

Lily sunk into her chair and sighed. She understood why Sam would not want to be in another committed relationship so soon after breaking up with Remus but it would be different with her and Sirius. They were meant to be and everyone knew it. Lily knew that Sam loved Sirius more than she let on and Lily also knew that Sam knew that they were meant to be. Lily saw Sirius walk in and smiled at him.

Sirius walked over and sat down in the seat Sam had just occupied. "How's it going?" He asked.

"Fine. How was detention with Professor McGonagall?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. "Had to clean out some cabinets and some other boring crap. Nothing overly exciting. You look really aggravated. What did James do now?"

Lily laughed. "Wrong Potter."

Sirius looked up with interest. "Sam? You two never have problems."

Lily rolled her eyes. "That's not true. We have had our problems, but I'm not going into that now. Our latest problem that we don't see eye to eye on is you."

"Me? What are you talking about?"

"Well, tonight she broke up with Michael. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to tell her to go out with you. She wasn't even listening. Sam told me that she wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship so soon after her break up with Remus. She tried to tell me that she didn't love you and that it was just a crush. I wasn't fooled. She has loved you since she was ten! You don't just get over that!"

Sirius sighed. "Well, doesn't that just suck? Maybe you should back off for a while. Give her some time."

Lily eyed his closely. "Is that really what you want?"

Sirius laughed. "Of course not! You do have to back off though. I'll try and make her see things my way."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, just don't push too hard and don't act like an ass." She saw the look on his face and sighed. "Well, try not to act as a big of an ass as usual."

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Sam woke with a start. She had that nightmare again. She was inside a house and there was a green haze all around. She heard someone scream and a baby cry. She had this dream on and off for years but tonight was the first time that it felt so real. She got out of bed and went downstairs to the common room. She sat by the window and sighed. It was still too dark to see anything but too early to go down to breakfast. Sam thought about her nightmare over and over again. "Sam?"

Sam jumped at the sound of the voice. She turned and saw Sirius standing over her. "Sirius? What are you doing up?"

Sirius sat down next to her and sighed. "I couldn't sleep. How about you?"

"The same thing. I thought that I would come down here so I wouldn't disturb my roommates."

Sirius was staring at her closely. "Are you okay?"

Sam smiled at him. "I'm fine. I think I'm going to go back to bed. Have a good night."

She made to leave but he quickly pulled her down to him. "I need some company. I'm not ready to go to bed just yet."

Sam laughed and pulled her hand away from him. "Ok, is there any reason why you can't sleep?"

Sirius smiled and patted the seat right next to him. She sat down and sighed. "There's no reason. I just couldn't sleep. How's everything with you?"

Sam smiled at him. "Everything is good. I broke up with Michael."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I heard. Good for you. Now, all you have to do is break up with Chris and you'll be happy."

Sam laughed. "I don't know about that. Chris isn't so bad. He would constantly egg Michael on though. At first, it was funny but it got old fast."

"I could understand that. I knew they couldn't make you happy."

Sam leaned closer and whispered. "Who says I'm with them because they make me happy."

Sirius moved his head closer to her and was mere inches away. "Then why are you with them?"

"I-I-I'm n-not w-with t-them. I-I-I'm w-with C-Chris." Sam stammered. Sirius was too close for comfort and she honestly couldn't think.

Sirius smiled. "That doesn't matter. It won't last."

Sam rolled her eyes and she was about to speak. Before she could reply, Sirius kissed her. He pulled her closely to him and was happy that she was kissing him back. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her onto his lap. She held him close to her and Sirius deepened the kiss.

Sirius soon pulled away and they were both breathing heavily. Sam was staring at him, amazed. She moved off of his lap and sat across from him. Sirius gently guided his thumb across her bottom lip and smiled. "That was fun. I think I'll go to bed now." He kissed her briefly before leaving.

Sam stared dumbly at the staircase. "He wants me to go mad. He is trying to make me completely insane!"

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Lily was walking down the hall on her way back from the library. A group of Slytherin girls passed by her and threw her books to the ground while muttering. "Stupid Mudblood."

James was walking behind her and ran to help her. He glared at the girls as they passed and bent down next to Lily. He smiled when he heard her groan. "Let me help you with those."

Lily eyed him suspiciously as he grabbed her books. She didn't see one sign of smugness on his face and slightly smiled at him. "T-Thank you."

James laughed at the expression on her face. "If I see anymore of that surprised look on your face, I might just get offended."

She blushed and smiled. She had never seen him act like less of an ass before and she really like that. He held on to her books as they walked back to the common room in silence. Once they were inside, he gave her books back to her. "Thanks again for your help."

He smiled shyly at her. "It wasn't a problem. Goodnight Evans. Have sweet dreams."

Lily watched him walk up the staircase to his dorm and sighed. She felt a quiver in her stomach as he walked away. She smiled lightly at his retreating form. "Maybe he isn't so bad after all." She muttered to herself before going to bed.

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"Sam!"

Sam turned around and smiled at Sirius while he ran to catch up with her. "Sirius."

It was a beautiful spring day and every student was outside taking advantage of the beautiful weather. Sam was just about to join her friends but stopped to wait for Sirius. "What are you up to?" He asked while trying to catch his breath.

She gave him a weird look. "I'm going to meet my friends. What about you?"

"I'm going to meet James and them. Just wanted to see how you were."

Sam laughed. "I'm fine. Are you feeling ok? You're looking a little flushed."

Sirius hid his face as he blushed. "I'm just hot from running after you, that's all. Do I look hot?"

When she smiled at him, he felt a quiver in his stomach. "Yeah, you look hot."

Sirius stopped walking and looked at her. "Sam? Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, you can talk to me about anything."

Sirius gulped and looked away. "Well, I have been thinking about this for a while and I was wondering…" He stopped talking when he saw the angry look on her face. He turned and saw Remus and Hannah kissing. Sirius sighed and looked at her closely. "You aren't over him yet, are you?"

Sam turned her head and sadly smiled. "I don't think that I'll ever truly be over him. I mean, I want him to be happy even if it is with that cow."

Sirius lightly laughed. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Why did you two break up?"

Sam went still for a moment. She sighed. He kept asking her about that and she knew he wouldn't stop until she gave him a definite reason. She didn't want to get Remus into trouble, so she decided to change the real story around. "We broke up because I-I cheated on him with Chris. Remus and I were going through a rough patch and Chris was just there. All we did was kiss but Remus caught us. I knew that part of him would never forgive me, so I broke up with him."

Sirius was shocked. He honestly wasn't expecting to hear that. He just assumed, like everyone else, that they broke up because of something Remus did, not Sam. "But you two are still close? How did you manage that?"

She shrugged. "Remus said that even though we weren't together anymore, that he still wanted me in his life. Being friends is better than nothing. If he wants to be with Hannah, then I wish them all the best."

Sirius slightly smiled. "That's big of you. How are things with you and Chris?"

She shrugged again. "Ok, I guess. Nothing as exciting as being with Remus."

Sirius looked at her closely and brought her closer to him and held her tightly. She snuggled closer to him and he sighed happily. "Then why are you with him?"

Sam laughed and winked at him. "I guess I'm just killing time until someone comes along that sweeps me off my feet."

Sirius picked her up and put his arm under her legs. Sam let out a shrieking laugh and wiggled around. "Sirius! What are you doing!"

Sirius laughed. "I'm sweeping you off of your feet, of course. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Sam stared at him intently. "Y-Yeah, I suppose so."

He leaned in and kissed her before setting her feet on the ground. It was a few minutes before he broke away. Sirius caressed her cheek and she gazed at him in amazement. "I'll see you later, Sammy. This was fun."

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Chris noticed how distracted Sam was acting at dinner that night. She was too busy to talk because she kept staring at Sirius. He glared at him when Sirius winked at her. "So, what do you say?"

He nudged her and she jumped. "I-I'm sorry. What did you say Chris?"

He sighed. "I said that my parents want you to spend the summer with us. What do you say?"

Sam shrugged. "Sure, I guess so. Maybe not the whole summer though. I want to spend some time with my parents."

Chris eyed her suspiciously. "That's fine. How about spending a month with me?"

Sam's eyes widened. "A month? I was thinking along the lines of a week or two. I don't get to see my parents all that often and I look forward to the summer so I can see them. You understand that, don't you?"

Chris nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do. How about you stay with me for two weeks? Starting when holiday begins?"

"That sounds great. I'll send an owl to my parents to let them know."

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Lily and Sam boarded the Hogwarts Express and were struggling with their trunks while searching for an empty compartment. Lily kept dropping her trunk and was growing rather frustrated with it. She picked it up once again and felt it get a little lighter. She turned and saw James holding the other end. He gave her a soft smile. "I thought you could use a hand."

Lily felt her face flush. "T-Thank you."

"I think I'm going to be offended. You keep looking so surprised at me like that whenever I do something nice."

Lily laughed. "It takes something to get used to."

James laughed. "You and Sam can sit with us, if you want?"

She nodded slowly. "That would be nice."

Sam followed them into the compartment and continued to struggle with her trunk. Sirius was sitting down laughing with Remus when she walked in. Sirius was the first one to get up and help her. She thanked him as he put her trunk away. He pulled her down to sit next to him while Lily willingly sat next to James. James smiled brightly at her and she blushed. "What are your plans for the summer, Evans?"

Lily smiled at him and giggled softly when he blushed. "I'll be spending most of the summer at your house. I'll be arriving when Sam returns from visiting Chris."

Sirius turned to Sam and eyed her closely. "You're going to Chris' for the summer?"

Sam nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, I'm going there right after we arrive at King's Cross."

Sirius inwardly groaned and tried to act nonchalant but the others weren't fooled. "H-How long are you staying for?"

Lily and James shared a look and tried to hide their laughter behind their hands. Sam sighed. "Two weeks. I wanted to spend some time with my parents before we go back to school."

Sam noticed Remus was glaring at Sirius and she smiled at him. "Remus, what about you? What are your plans for the summer?"

Remus looked away from Sirius and smiled at her. "I'm going to Hannah's for a bit before coming to your house."

Sam's smiled slightly faltered but she quickly recovered. "That sounds nice. I'm sure we will all have a lot of fun."

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Sirius was bouncing up and down with excitement. Normally, James would have made fun of him but he was also excited. Sam, Lily, and Remus were due any minute. Mr. and Mrs. Potter walked through the door and the boys jumped out of their seats.

Lily, Sam, and Remus walked in, laughing. That quickly stopped when the girls were tackled to the ground by the boys. Mr. Potter pulled them off of the girls and rolled his eyes. "Give them some breathing room. They just walked through the door."

The boys greeted Remus and they walked over to the couch. The girls followed them, laughing. "I'm assuming that you missed us." Sam said.

Sirius hugged her. "We did. Tell us about your trip, Sam."

They eyed him curiously. She slightly smiled. "It was fun. Chris met this girl and I finally convinced him to ask her out before I left."

Sirius was absolutely glowing. Lily, James, and Remus had to fight to hold in their laughter. "You and Chris broke up?"

Sam smiled slowly. "Yes, we did. It was for the best. We are still good friends but it's just better this way."

Sirius felt light headed. His chance to convince Sam to be with him had finally come. He just had to make sure that he didn't screw it up. "Did you have fun with Chris?"

The other three were shaking with laughter while Sam eyed Sirius closely. "I did. His parents were so nice. It turns out that they absolutely hated Hannah and were sad when we told them that we decided to just be friends. You have no idea how much that pleased me."

Remus laughed. "Hannah said that they loved her. She said that they always called her 'dear' and 'sweetheart'."

Sam shrugged. "Well, they told me that she was annoying and pushy."

Remus nodded. "That sounds about right."

Lily gave Sam a look and nudged her in the side. They quickly stood up and went towards the door. "Lily and I are going to go for a walk before dinner. We'll see you lot later."

Once they were gone, Remus and James turned to Sirius. "So? Fancy my sister much?"

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Lily and Sam walked aimlessly around the neighborhood. Lily owled Sam almost everyday and helped Sam break up with Chris. Lily also convinced Sam to give Sirius a shot. "Did you see how he reacted when you said that you and Chris broke up?" Lily asked laughing.

Sam let out a giggle. "I did. I almost laughed in his face. I honestly can't believe that he finally wants to be with me."

Lily sighed happily. "It's wonderful, isn't it? You and Sirius will be together and so will James and me-" Lily stopped short. She didn't tell Sam that she was finally starting to fall for James. Ever since he helped her with her books and trunk, she was starting to see him in a different light.

"Oh my! You like James!" Sam gasped.

Lily scowled. "I didn't say that!"

"You did too! This is wonderful, Lily! You and James are perfect for each other!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't know about that!"

Sam hugged her. "Yes, you do!"

"Yeah, I do." Lily smiled in spite of herself and then sighed. "This is crazy! How do I know that he still fancies me?"

It was Sam's turn to roll her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me! Did you hit your head on the floor! Lily, you and James are meant to be!"

"Like you and Sirius?"

Sam laughed. "Exactly. You saw how happy James was when you walked through the door. He loves you, Lily. The two of you together makes sense. Now, all we have to do is convince James that you're feelings for him have changed."

"You really think he loves me?"

Sam laughed and lightly punched Lily in the arm. "You're such a git! Of course he does! You love him too! It's amazing!"

Lily laughed and blushed. "It is amazing, isn't it?"

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Sirius, Sam, and Remus were sitting in the living room, talking. They were discussing the stupidity of James. They didn't understand how blind he could be. Lily was making it really obvious how she felt about him and he still did nothing. "Why hasn't he asked her out yet? She finally feels the same way and it's so obvious that he loves her! How can someone be so stupid? If you know you love someone and you know they feel the same way, why do nothing? It makes absolutely no sense at all!" Sam grumbled.

Remus gave Sirius a knowing look and Sirius glared in return. "Maybe he isn't convinced that she feels the same way." Sirius offered.

Remus rolled his eyes. "How could he not be? She's done everything but wear a sign to tell him."

Sam smiled at Remus and Sirius scowled. "How are we going to convince him?" asked Sirius.

"We're going to lock them in the basement until they start dating." Sam said. The boys started to laugh until they saw the look on her face. "I'm serious! You two get James and I'll get Lily."

They marveled at the stupidity of this plan but sighed and went along with it anyway. They'd do anything to get James to realize that now was his chance to be with Lily.

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Lily was waiting in the basement for Sam. She had no idea why Sam wanted her to stay down there and her patience was growing thin. She heard a commotion upstairs. The door flung open and James was pushed inside. He started banging on the door and yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you lot! Let me out!"

Lily sighed. She now realized what was going on and had to smile at the stupidity of this plan. "James?"

James stopped yelling and stared at her in surprise. "Lily! What are you doing here! They locked you in her as well?"

"That they did. You should save your breath. They won't let us out until everything is resolved."

James looked at her curiously. "Did you hit your head? I swear, every last one of you have gone completely insane!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "How stupid are you, Potter?"

"I'm not stupid! Everyone has gone completely nutters!"

"You are the biggest moron that I've ever met! It's so obvious what they are trying to do!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

James groaned. "Then tell me what they are up to!"

Lily scoffed. "Why should I?"

"Because the sooner you tell me, the sooner we get out of here!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "They want you to get your head out of your ass for five seconds and realize that I have feelings for you, you moron!"

James stared at her with his mouth hanging open. That lasted for a few moments before he smiled brightly at her. "You like me?"

Lily had to fight hard not to smile. "Maybe I do but you haven't noticed!"

"I've noticed. I just thought that you were messing with me!" James cautiously brought her into a hug and lightly kissed her.

Lily bit her lip and let out a light giggle. "You're a crazy moron! You know that, right?"

James lifted her up and held her tightly. "Well, so are you because you love this crazy moron!"

Lily shook her head and laughed. "You make absolutely no sense whatsoever!"

James laughed. "I know! That's what makes us perfect for each other!" They leaned in and kissed. James sighed happily. "I can't believe this is finally happening! You're my girlfriend!"

Lily gave him a look. "No, I'm not."

James' face fell. "Y-You're not?"

"I never heard you ask me so, I'm not."

James let out a sigh of relief. "Lily, will you be my girlfriend?"

Lily shrugged. "You know, I don't think so. Thanks anyway."

James' eyes widened and he began to stutter. "Y-Y-You're j-just m-messing w-with m-me! I-I knew i-it w-was t-t-too g-good to b-be true!"

Lily was laughing. "James, I was only joking! I'd love to be your girlfriend!"

James was utterly confused. "You were only joking around with me? You want to be my girlfriend?" She nodded. "That has got to be the cruelest joke anyone has ever played on me!"

"James, I never-"

James interrupted her by laughing. "That was brilliant! I knew we were meant to be!" Lily laughed as he pulled her closer and gently kissed her. "I love you, Lily."

She blushed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you, James."

He caressed her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. Her breathing slowed when he kissed her. She felt her heart swell and couldn't believe that they were finally together. They were interrupted by the sound of giggling. They separated and saw Sam smiling brightly while clutching Sirius and Remus' hands to her chest. "Are you two…?" Sam trailed off.

Lily nodded happily. "Yes, we are."

The girls shared a look before running to each other and hugged while jumping up and down, screaming. James quickly walked over to stand near Remus and Sirius. The three of them watched the girls curiously while they jumped and screamed. "It looks like they are having some sort of a fit." James said.

"I think it is some sort of girl ritual." Sirius said.

"Yeah, they do this when they are really happy and excited about something. So, it's a good thing." Remus replied. The other two nodded slowly and continued to stare at the girls in amazement.

Sam ran over to her brother with Lily at her side and hugged him. "This is wonderful! I'm so happy for the both of you!"

James laughed. "It's great, isn't it? Now, all we have to do is find Sirius a girlfriend!" James winked at Sirius and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Sam doesn't have a boyfriend! We'd have to find her someone as well." Lily said smirking at her.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Subtle, Lily. Very subtle." She whispered in Lily's ear.


	27. Chapter 26: About Time

Author's Note: The lyrics used in this chapter is from the song "Sea and The Rhythm" By Iron & Wine. A really great song. By the way, to my one faithful reader, there might be a small delay in updates because school just started up again and my job. So, please don't hate me if there is a long delay.

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Chapter 26: About Time.

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Lily pranced around in front of Sam. She was wearing a soft yellow sundress and pulled her hair up. "So, what do you think about this one?" 

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "It was fine an hour ago and it's fine now. So were the other twelve outfits you've tried on!"

Lily groaned. "I'm nervous, okay? This is James and my first official date. I want everything to go perfectly!"

Sam smiled at Lily. "It will! All you have to do is calm down. Lily, everything is going to be just fine! You don't have to worry."

Lily sat down in a huff on the bed next to Sam. Sam patted her knee and Lily gave her a weak smile. "I am worried. He's loved me since the day we met and now we are together. It's a bit overwhelming!"

"I'm sure it is. Everything will be fine, ok? You and James will have an excellent date. You'll get married and have a lot of sex and babies!"

Lily laughed and hit her with a pillow. "You're such a prat!"

"I know and that's why you love me!"

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Lily and James sat down in the restaurant and smiled at each other. The restaurant had low lights and soft music playing in the background. "This place is beautiful, James! Thank you for taking me here." 

James blushed. "You deserve the best! This is a muggle restaurant and I thought that you would be comfortable here."

Lily bit her lip and held his hand. "That's very sweet of you. Everything is wonderful. I'm having a great time tonight. You look very handsome."

"You look beautiful, Lily. I'm just happy to be here with you."

She blushed and kissed him. "I'm happy being here with you too."

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Sirius was sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for Sam. For the first time in all the years that they've known each other, this was the first time that they were ever completely alone. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were out for the evening, James and Lily were out on their first official date, and Remus was meeting up with Hannah, who was in town for one night only. Sam and Sirius were all alone in the house, with no chances of being interrupted. Sirius knew that this was his chance to make a move and that thought alone made him sweat. 

Sam walked in from the kitchen, carrying two glasses and sat down next to him. She smiled at him when she handed him a glass. "Thank you." He said with a hint of color flushing his cheeks.

She looked at him curiously before nodding slowly. "Not a problem."

There was an awkward silence between them and they shared a sigh. Sam was staring up at the ceiling and rolled her eyes. "I'm so bored." She muttered.

Sirius stared at her. She had her hand on the side of her cheek while looking up at the ceiling. Her legs were curled underneath her. "Do you mind that you're stuck with me for the night?"

Sam gave him an awkward smile. "No, I don't mind."

"So, what do you want to do with me?" Sirius said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Sam pushed him and laughed. "Stupid ass! What do you want to do with me?"

Sirius leaned in closer and smiled. "I can think of a few things."

She rolled her eyes. "Very funny. What do you feel like doing?"

Sirius hid his smile. "W-Want to play wizard's chess?"

Sam looked less than enthused and shrugged. "I guess so. There's not much else to do anyway."

They played for an hour and Sirius kept winning. Sam sighed and fell back into her chair. "This sucks! I haven't won once!"

Sirius laughed. "Don't be such a baby! What else is there to do?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're lecturing me about not acting like a baby?" He looked at her with mock offend and she smiled. "Fine! I'll keep playing!"

The chess pieces kept insulting Sam and making her flustered. She leaned forward and yelled at them back. "Why don't you shut the hell up? I could crush you into dust if I wanted to!"

Sirius laughed and wiped the tears from his eyes. She stood up and leaned forward and glared at him. "Shut up! It's not funny!"

Sirius almost fell out of his chair because he was laughing so hard. That quickly stopped when she hit him. "Ow! Don't act like such a baby! How about one more game?"

Sam glared at him before laughing. "One more game."

Sam sat on her legs and leaned forward to get a better look at the board. The chess pieces glared and sneered in her direction. Sirius looked up and smiled at Sam. She smiled at him and winked. Sam didn't notice him blush. He was busy staring at her and didn't stop until the chess pieces said something insulting at him. Sirius shook himself out of his fog and stared at the board. "What did you say?"

The pawn glared at him. "I said; stop staring at the opponent and start playing better!"

He looked up when he heard Sam laughing and blushed. "How the bloody hell do you think you are going to win when you keep looking at her?" grumbled the Knight.

Sam was laughing so hard that she started to hiccup. Sirius glared at her. "Would you stop laughing?" That caused Sam to laugh harder. They began playing again while the chess pieces added their two cents along the way.

Sam finally won. She jumped out of her chair and started to dance around in excitement. "Oh! I own you! How do you like me now?"

Sirius laughed in spite of himself. He watched her closely as she pranced around and rubbed his face in defeat. He didn't know why but knew this was his chance to tell her how he felt. He grabbed her and kissed her. He held her tightly to him to deepen the kiss and didn't let go until a few minutes later. Sirius was pleased when she finally kissed him back. Sirius finally let go and all she could do was blink. She looked at him, dumbfounded, while he shifted uncomfortably. "I wonder what you would have done if I lost again." She finally managed to squeak out.

Sirius laughed and smiled at her. "I probably would have used a little less tongue."

Sam smirked. "That's good to know."

Sirius brought her closer and gently guided his thumbs across her cheeks. She bit her lip and blushed. "There's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a while."

She looked at him anxiously while he watched her closely. She smiled slowly. "You know that you can tell me anything."

Sirius smiled and let out a shaky breath. He felt his knees go weak when she smiled at him. "I love you, Sam."

Her breath caught in her throat. She had waited for so long for him to say those words to her and now that he had, she had no idea how to respond. "Y-You do? For how long?"

"Since last summer. Hell, I've probably always been in love with you but I didn't realize it until then. I would always be jealous as hell when you were with someone else but I never understood what it meant. Now, I do." Sam felt light headed. She sat down and took a deep breath. Sirius stared at her with concern. "Sammy? Are you ok?"

Sam slowly nodded. "Are you sure?"

Sirius gave her a soft smile. "I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. I'm completely and totally in love with you! You are it for me, Sam!"

She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. She let out a small laugh before kissing him. "I love you too, Sirius!"

"I thought you gave up on me?"

"I tried but I never could. I've always loved you, Sirius."

Sirius felt everything inside him lift up. This was what he had wanted and now he was getting it. "This means that you're my girlfriend, right?"

Sam laughed. "I guess so."

He laughed loudly and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he spun around. Sirius kissed her so hard that she thought she couldn't breath. "You mean it, Sammy? You really do love me?"

He let her down and she laughed. "I do. I really do. Everyone will be so excited when we tell them!"

Sirius felt queasy. He shifted uncomfortably before saying. "Maybe, we should hold off on telling them. Moony might not handle it well."

He was relieved when she nodded. "You're right. The last thing I would want to do is hurt Remus. We'll tell them when the time is right."

Sirius smiled at her. "So, we are agreed? This is just our little secret until the time is right?"

Sam nodded. "Agreed."

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Lily and Sam were sitting on their bed, talking. James and Lily had just arrived home from their date and after they said goodnight, the girls ran upstairs to talk. "So, tell me everything!" Sam said. 

Lily sighed happily and blushed. "It was one of the best nights of my life! We went to a muggle restaurant because he thought that I would be more comfortable there."

Sam giggled. "My brother gets extra points for being so sweet."

Lily nodded. "He sure does. Everything was perfect. We took a walk around town and he put his jacket around my shoulders when I got cold. He held my hand throughout the night and when we kissed – oh! It was amazing!"

Sam giggled excitedly as she hugged Lily. "This is wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"

Lily smiled and blushed. "I think you were right."

"Right about what?"

"That James and I are meant to be. I always thought that you were full of crap but now, I see that it is true. I'm going to marry him, I just know it!"

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Sirius had never felt so happy in his whole life. Sam and him were finally together and in love. He knew that they were meant to be together but he honestly never thought it would happen. 

He was watching her talk excitedly with Lily. They had just received the news that Lily and James were Head Boy and Girl. This news of James becoming Head Boy shocked everyone, including James. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were making a big deal over James while Remus joined Sam and Lily's conversation.

Sirius saw her laugh and he sighed. He never felt this content just watching someone. He was amazed that he felt butterflies in his stomach when her hair fell in her eyes as she laughed and smiled. The sunlight made her hair glow and formed a bright hazy circle around the crown of her head. She never looked more beautiful to him than at that moment. A dumb grin played on his mouth as he stared at her. Her laughter rang in his ears and he felt his heart stutter. He honestly couldn't believe how one woman could make him feel this way.

Sirius knew that it was unfair of him to ask her to hide their relationship but he didn't think he was up to the added pressure from everyone else not to screw things up. This is what he would get if everyone knew about them.

His thoughts were interrupted by James. "I'm going to marry that girl."

Sirius looked at him in surprise. "What was that, Prongs?"

James slightly blushed and laughed. "I said that I'm going to marry her."

"I know that I shouldn't talk because of my family's history of marrying their cousins but she's your sister, mate! That's just nasty!"

James stared at Sirius in utter amazement because of his friend's complete stupidity. "I meant Lily, you git!"

Sirius laughed. "I knew what you meant! I was only joking! Congratulations! When did you ask her?"

"I didn't ask her yet but I know that I'm going to marry her."

"That's fantastic! I'm happy for you!"

James smiled brightly. "Have you asked Sam, yet?"

Sirius started to cough. "I-I'm not ready for marriage!"

James laughed and slapped Sirius upside the head. "I didn't mean that, you moron. Did you ask her out yet?"

Sirius didn't want to lie to his best friend but he knew that the time wasn't right to tell them just yet. "No, I haven't. I will though."

"You better ask her soon or you might miss your chance."

"I know, Prongs. Don't worry, I will. You would be alright with it if we went out?"

James smiled. "Of course, I would. It would be great!"

Sirius laughed and smiled at James. "Good to know, mate."

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A brown haired boy stood on a hill holding at girl with bright red hair. Another boy, also with bright red hair, was holding a girl with bushy brown hair. They were staring out over the land below and shared a sigh of relief. "I can't believe it's finally over." The red haired boy said. 

The other boy looked at the red haired boy with his bright green eyes and slightly smiled. "Neither can I. All we've worked for and been through together and it's finally done. We won and he's gone."

The red headed girl smiled. "We're free from him for good."

The brown bushy haired girl sighed. "No more worrying about further deaths and disappearances. We can finally live."

The four of them shared a smile and couldn't believe it was true. All their hard work and the painful losses that they had to endure, it was all worth it in the end. The deep pain of the loved ones struck down in the heat of battle was still there but it seemed worth it now after everything was completely over.

They looked at each other curiously when the red headed girl asked the question that was on all their minds. "So, what do we do now?"

* * *

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* * *

Sam woke up in a cold sweat. Those kids kept showing up in her dreams and she didn't know who they were or why she kept dreaming about them. The brown haired boy reminded her so much of James and she felt a connection towards him. A wave of protectiveness flooded her as she remembered his bruised and bloody face. She didn't know why she felt this way but knew it meant something. 

She quietly got out of bed, not to disturb Lily, and crept downstairs. She sat down in the kitchen and stared outside the window. Sam felt Sirius at her side moments later. She looked up at him and weakly smiled. "Couldn't sleep?" She asked.

Sirius sat down next to her and sighed. "Not really. You couldn't either?"

Sam shook her head. "I had this weird dream."

"What was it about?"

"It was about some kids around our age. It looked like they had just finished a battle. This one boy looked exactly like James and I felt so connected with him. I know that what I'm saying doesn't make any sense but to me it kind of does. Do I sound crazy?"

Sirius looked at her intently. "I honestly don't know what to tell you. You sound like someone who just had a weird dream. If it really bothers you then you should talk to your parents or send an owl to Dumbledore. He would know what to say."

Sam slightly smiled. "It's probably nothing. If I have it again, I'll talk to Dumbledore. Thank you, Sirius."

Sirius smiled and kissed her. "Anytime, Sammy. I'll always be there for you."

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Thank you for that. It means a lot coming from you." Sam stood up and went to leave but Sirius stopped her with a deep kiss. "What was that for?" She asked.

"I just wanted to comfort you some more." He said while wiggling his eyebrows. She pulled him as close to her as possible and sighed happily when he kissed her neck. He leaned her up against the wall and pressed into her. His hands roamed her body and went towards her shorts. Before anything further could happen, she stopped him. "Sirius, wait! I think we should stop."

Sirius inwardly groaned but nodded slowly. "Whatever you want. We'll stop."

She smiled brightly at him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Sirius. Goodnight."

She left him standing there and he felt completely frustrated. He waited a few moments to get himself together before going upstairs to go to bed.

* * *

pqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpqpq(a week later)

* * *

It was the middle of the night and Sirius was wide awake. He couldn't stop thinking about Sam. They had snuck downstairs almost every night to have some alone time but she would never let things go to the next level. She would always stop him and he respected her enough not to push but it was getting harder and harder to stop. 

He heard someone close the bathroom door and he had a strong feeling that it was Sam. He opened his door and saw her on her way back to her room. "Sam!" He hissed.

She stopped short and smiled at him. He felt his stomach quiver and smiled back at her. "What do you want?" She whispered.

_Tonight, we're the sea and the salty breeze_

Sirius pulled her into his room and locked the door. He sat her down on his bed and kissed her. She laughed quietly and leaned back down on the bed. "I wanted to say goodnight." He whispered.

She gave him a curious look and shook her head. "You're crazy. If that's all, I think I'm going to go back to bed."

_the milk from your breast is on my lips_

He stopped her from leaving. "Please, don't go. Stay with me for a while."

She smiled at him and nodded. "I'll stay. Are you ok?"

The moonlight shone brightly and softly lit her face. His breath caught in his throat. The summer breeze flowed through the window and gently blew through her hair. He was amazed at how beautiful she looked. "Everything's fine. I just love you."

Sam rested her head on his pillow and smiled at him. "I love you too."

Sirius sat beside her and held her hand. He rested her fingertips on his lips and lightly kissed them. She felt a tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach. She never felt such an overwhelming sense of love for someone in one particular moment before in her life. Sirius was the one person for her and in the moment, she knew he truly felt the same way.

_and lovelier words from your mouth to me_

Sam brought him closer to her and kissed him as he lightly traced his fingers down her bare arms and she shivered. "You are it for me, Sam. You are the only woman I want to be with." He whispered against her mouth.

She blushed. "I feel the same way about you. I just never thought that you would feel this way too."

_when salty my sweat and fingertips_

Sirius was slightly shaking when he kissed her. "I just want you to know that I will never hurt you. I don't know how I would take it if I lost you. I couldn't take it if you hated me."

Sam caressed his cheek. "I could never hate you, Sirius. You could never hurt me."

_Our hands they seek the end of afternoon_

She sat up and, with shaky hands, removed her shirt. He stared at her in amazement especially when she removed his shirt. "Sam?"

She smiled shyly at him and blushed. "Yes?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Her smile grew and nodded. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

_My hands believe and move over you_

He slightly touched her and gave her a gentle kiss. They laid down side by side and she lightly nibbled his chin. He softly guided his hands down her body and stared deeply into her eyes. She looked so beautiful at that moment and he couldn't believe that they were finally going to be together. He moved to be on top of her and sighed happily as she ran her fingernails down his bare back, softly. Sirius kissed her neck and felt her shiver. "Are you alright?" He asked in a whisper.

She looked at him and gave him a soft smile. "Never better." She kissed him and brought him closer.

_Tonight, we're the sea and the rhythm there_

They tried their best to be as quiet as possible. They had never experienced something as tender as this. She rolled on top of him and he placed his hands on her hips. She looked down at him and her hair fell forward. Sirius smiled as he pushed her hair back and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy."

She smiled and touched his cheek. "I love you too, Sirius."

_the waves and the wind and night is black_

They held onto each other tightly and didn't want to let go. They didn't want this moment and this feeling to end. Sirius had never felt such a deep connection with one person before in his life. In that moment, he knew he would never feel this way about another woman.

_tonight we're the scent of your  
long black hair  
spread out like your breath  
across my back_

The morning light peeked through the trees and glittered the bedroom floor. The breeze crept through the room and rustled the sheets. Sirius lightly traced Sam's spine while they laid together in silence. Sam rested her head on his chest with her long wavy hair spilled around them. Sirius felt a slight tickle as her hair slightly moved by the breeze. He felt her breath on his chest and he sighed. Sirius looked down at her and saw that her eyes were closed. "Sam?" He gently shook her. "Sammy?"

He heard her sigh. She moved her head and gave him a sleepy smile. "Yes?" Sirius began to shake. She looked at him with concern. "Sirius? Are you alright?"

Sirius was still shaking but he nodded. "I want to ask you something."

She placed her hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into her hand. "What do you want to ask me?"

_Your hands they move like waves over me _

He sighed when he looked at her. He knew that this was what he wanted. She was what he wanted and he didn't want to ever lose her. "Would you…would you want to marry me someday?"

Sam leaned up on her elbows and stared at him with wide eyes. "What?"

Sirius held her face in his hands and kissed her. "Someday, would you like to marry me?"

She was staring at him closely. "Where is this coming from?"

Sirius sighed. "I honestly don't know. I was just lying here and I felt that this was how it was supposed to be. You and me, together. I just don't want this to end."

"Do you mean it? You really want to marry me someday?" She asked quietly.

"I do. I love you, Sam. I'm more sure of that than anything else."

_beneath the moon, tonight, we're the sea_

She stared at him in amazement and smiled. "Yes, I will marry you one day, Sirius." He let out a quiet laugh and kissed her. She leaned on his chest and deepened the kiss. "I love you, Sirius." She whispered in a shaky voice.

Sirius held her close to him and kissed her forehead. "Are you sure?"

She laughed. "Of course I am."

The sunlight brightened the room and Sam sat up. Sirius sat up as well and stared at her with concern. "Is everything alright?"

She smiled slowly at him and winked. "Everything is fine. I just should get back to my room before my mum wakes up." They dressed in silence and he walked her to her room. "You know, I think I love the idea of being your wife one day." She said with a smile.

His heart swelled. He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy. You have no idea how happy you make me."

Sam held him closely and sighed. "I love you too. I have to go now or my mum will find us. Goodnight and Good morning." She laughed and kissed him before closing the door.


	28. Chapter 27: Whipped

Chapter 27: Whipped.

* * *

Sam and Sirius were sitting in the train compartment with Peter snoring loudly next to them. Lily, James, and Remus were in the prefects meeting and they were alone for the most part.

Sirius was tickling Sam because she refused to say that she loved him back. She was sprawled out on his lap, laughing hysterically, when the others came in. Sirius and Sam didn't notice them until James coughed just before Sirius leaned in to kiss her.

"Having fun you two?" James asked with a tight smile.

Sirius jumped up quickly and caused Sam to fall on the floor. She glared at Sirius before smiling at James. "How was the meeting?"

James eyed her closely. "It was alright. A bit boring but okay."

Lily sat down next to James and rested her head on his shoulder. James kissed her forehead and she sighed. "So, what have you two been up to?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Not much. Just waiting for you lot to turn up."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure."

Remus stood up and walked to the door. "I promised to meet Hannah for a bit. I'll see you all later."

"What time is it?" asked Sam.

Remus checked his watch. "It's almost one."

Sam stood up. "Well, I'll be going to. I'll see you all later."

Sirius looked up at her in surprise. "Where are you going?"

Lily and James hid their laughter behind their hands. "I promised Michael that I would spend some time with him."

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "Why would you promise something stupid like that? Why don't you stay here with me-us? I meant us!"

Lily and James were shaking with soundless laughter while Sam rolled her eyes. "Michael is my friend and I care about him. I'll be back later."

Sirius scowled while Sam and Remus left the compartment. "Would you two shut the hell up!" Sirius yelled at James and Lily, who were now openly laughing at him.

"Could you be anymore obvious?" laughed Lily.

"What the bloody hell do you mean by that?" growled Sirius.

James started to hiccup. "I think what Lily means is, jealous much?"

Sirius scowled at him and was silently pouting until Sam finally returned. He looked up at her anxiously when she entered. She sat down next to him and smiled. "How's the ponce doing?" He asked.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Michael is just fine. I ran into Chris on the way back. I almost had forgotten how funny he was."

Sirius sneered. "Oh, I'm sure he is a laugh riot."

She laughed at him. "Would you stop! They are nice people, and they are my friends!"

"Friends that you've kissed! Do you really need anymore than me? I mean us!"

James was turning red while laughing. "Padfoot, would you shut the hell up! She's just friends with them! You are sounding like a jealous boyfriend!"

Sam laughed while Sirius scowled in James' direction. "I do not! I sound like a concerned friend!"

Lily was shaking with laughter. "Sure you don't."

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* * *

They were on their way to the common room after the sorting ceremony and dinner. Sirius watched Sam closely as she talked animatedly with Chris and their friends. He scowled when Chris leaned in and whispered something in her ear that caused her to laugh out loud. He looked away from them when he felt a pat on his back. "I told you that you should have asked her out before it was too late." James said.

Sirius sighed. "Are you kidding me? She isn't interested in that prat!"

James looked unsure but nodded anyway. "Whatever you say, mate."

They entered the common room and Sirius stared as Sam gave Chris a hug goodnight. He strolled over to her and stopped her from leaving. "Sammy? Can we talk for a moment?"

Sam smiled at him and nodded. She followed him to the window seat and sat down next to him. Sirius saw James give him a thumbs up before going to bed. He looked at her and sighed when she smiled encouragingly at him. She patted his knee. "Is everything alright?"

Sirius wouldn't look at her. "I don't know. Maybe you could tell me?"

Sam laughed. "I honestly have no idea what you are talking about."

"Is there anything going on between you and Chris?" He blurted out.

She laughed again. "Of course not! I'm with you and only you. Where is this coming from?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't know. It was just the way that he was acting with you. I didn't like it. And the fact that he is the reason why you and Moony broke up. I never thought you were the type of person to cheat but you did."

Sam gently touched his cheek and smiled. "That was a mistake. We've always been that way with each other. There's nothing going on between us anymore. Sirius, you have nothing to worry about. I love you, not Chris."

Sirius slightly smiled. He looked around and saw that they were alone. "I love you too, Sam." He kissed her. "I'm sorry I acted like a prat."

Sam laughed. "No offense but I'm used to you acting that way."

Sirius laughed. He brought her closer and kissed her again. "You swear that there is nothing going on between the two of you?"

Sam rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. "I'm positive! Now, shut up and kiss me goodnight!"

Sirius smiled. "Whatever you say!"

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* * *

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and the boys and girls were hanging outside by the lake. Sam was excited over the package her mother sent. She received her camera that she used to be inseparable with. It broke last year when Chris accidentally sat on it and her father finally repaired it. "I can't believe it's finally fixed! Do you remember how I used to take a picture of everything?"

Remus blushed and laughed. "Yes, I do."

The others gave him a look while Sam laughed and hugged Remus. "It was nothing dirty! Geez, get your mind out of the gutter!" She exclaimed. She shared a smile with Remus and he sighed happily.

They spent the day using Sam's camera. They each took turns taking pictures of each other. Sam noticed James and Lily slow dancing while the leaves fell down around them. They turned to her and smiled when they heard the camera click. They continued to dance as Sam continued to take their photograph. Sirius stood next to her and smiled. "That will be the best one."

She smiled at him. "I think so."

"Come on! Let's have a group photo!" Lily exclaimed.

Sam nodded and ordered them all together. "All right, get ready!"

"Sam, don't be thick! Set the camera on the tripod and get in the picture!" exclaimed Sirius.

Sam set the camera up and stood next to Remus and Sirius. Sam saw Peter standing off to the side and she let out a sigh. She may not have liked or trusted him but she didn't want him to feel excluded. "Peter, what are you doing! Get in the picture before the timer goes off! You can stand near me!"

Peter looked delighted and quickly ran over to them. Despite her better judgment, Sam moved him next to her and put an arm around his shoulders. He smiled anxiously at her and she gave him a smile in return. "Now, smile nice and big, Wormtail!" Peter laughed just as the flash and timer went off.

"Sammy, let's take a picture together!" yelled James. Sam ran over to her brother and hugged him tightly. Sam ruffled his hair and he laughed. Lily held the camera and smiled at them. They might not always get along but they knew they would always love and be there for each other. James gave Sam a piggyback ride while Sirius and Remus tried to trip him. Lily handed Peter the camera and went to chase them. Peter snapped pictures left and right but stopped when the others yelled at him. "Wormtail, get your ass over here!" yelled James. Peter set Sam's camera on the tripod and joined them.

Sirius hugged Sam and whispered in her ear. "I love you, Sammy."

Sam smiled and blushed. She whispered in his ear. "I love you too." He held her closely and kissed her temple just as James took their picture.

They looked at him and smiled. "James, come on! Take one with us!" yelled Sirius. James dragged Lily and Remus with him and Peter snapped away.

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Later that night, when everyone was asleep, Sam and Sirius sat down in the common room, resting on each other. Sirius leaned down and kissed her. He loved it when they were alone and could just be together and not have to pretend that they weren't together. He knew everyone would be fine with them being together but he still wasn't ready for everyone to know.

Sam sat up and looked at him. "Sirius?"

He smiled at her. "Yes?"

She took a deep breath before speaking. "Don't you think we should tell people about us? I mean, we've been together for close to two months now. I know we don't know how they will react but I think that they'd be happy for us. Plus, it would stop that Sarah Rudolph from chasing you around."

Sirius laughed. "Are you jealous? You have no reason to be. I'm with you."

Sam gave him a look. "Sirius, I don't want to pressure you but when is it going to be the right time to tell them? I'm starting to feel like you're embarrassed to be with me."

He hugged her. "I'm not embarrassed to be with you. I didn't want to tell you this but I hinted around about us being together to James and Moony…they didn't seem all that thrilled."

Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't understand. Why wouldn't they want us to be happy?"

Sirius looked away from her. He knew he shouldn't have lied to her like that but it was still too soon for him to let everyone know about them. "They'll come around eventually. Don't worry, everything will work out."

Sam nodded slowly and kissed him. "I know it will. I just wish they would get over whatever their problems are with us quickly."

* * *

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* * *

Sam and Lily were in the common room developing the pictures they took the previous day. "How are things between you and Sirius going?" asked Lily shyly.

Sam looked at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Lily rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh Sam, really! You two couldn't be anymore obvious! Everyone knows! I just don't understand why you haven't said anything!"

Sam sighed. "We were just afraid about James and Remus' reaction."

Lily looked at her curiously. "What the bloody hell are you talking about? They each talked to Sirius separately and told him that they were just fine with it."

Sam couldn't breath. He had purposely lied to her and she couldn't understand why. The boys walked in and sat down next to them. "H-How are the pictures coming along?" Peter asked.

Sam smiled at him. "They are coming out just fine. Especially the ones you took." She looked at Sirius and he winked and smiled at her. She sighed and looked away from him. "I'm going to go to the owlery. I forgot to ask my mum to send me something. Lily, all you have to do is hang them up and let them dry for a bit." Lily nodded and Sam left.

Sirius stared after her and quickly stood up. "I forget…something. I'll be back later."

James laughed after he left. "Well, at least they aren't being obvious about anything."

* * *

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* * *

Sirius found her sending an owl to her mother and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed the side of her neck before she pushed him away. He looked at her, confused. "What's the problem?"

He began to sweat when he saw the look on her face. Only two people could make him scared with just a look. Sam was one of them while the other was probably snogging his best friend at that moment. "You're embarrassed to be with me!" Sam growled.

He sighed. "Not this again! Sam, we've been through this! I'm just waiting until-"

"You already talked with James and Remus! They told you that they were fine with it! What else am I supposed to believe!"

"I'm not embarrassed to be with you! Sammy, I love you! I'm just not ready for everyone else to know about us! What would they think!"

"Since when do you care about what other people think?"

She had him there. "I-I don't!"

"I'm sorry. Whatever you problem is, we can't be together until you get over it."

Sam walked away and he caught up to her in the hallway. He looked at her with desperation in his eyes. "Sammy, you can't mean that! We're supposed to be together!"

She touched his cheek gently but he pulled away when a group of people walked down the hallway. She sighed. "I do mean it. Sirius, I told you that I didn't want to pressure you but you're leaving me no choice. If you really love me, then find me when you get over your issues about us being together." She left him standing there looking completely devastated.

* * *

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That night at dinner, Sirius was glaring at Sam. She was sitting with her friends and Chris across the table. He was so upset about Sam breaking up with him that he could barely eat a thing. Everyone knew about his relationship with Sam and he screwed it up, just like he predicted he would. Sirius didn't mean to hurt her but that's what he wound up doing.

Lily leaned over the table and whispered at him. "Sirius, just talk to her."

Sirius shook his head. "She doesn't want to speak to me."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Only because you're acting like a prat! If you love her, then get over whatever you problems are and be with her!"

Sirius nodded and went back to staring at Sam. The last straw for him was when Chris put his arm around her and whispered something in her ear which caused her to smile and blush. Sirius was fuming as he pushed Lilac and Patty out of the way and sat across from Sam. She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Black?" She asked coolly.

Sirius didn't like the tone in her voice but he didn't care. "I want to talk to you."

Sam sighed. "Why? We said everything we needed to."

Sirius gritted his teeth. "No, you said everything! It's my turn now! Will you listen or do I have to hold you down and force you!"

"Make it fast."

"I love you."

Sam waited for him to continue but sighed when he didn't. "Yeah, I know. What else you got?"

Sirius groaned. "Why do you have to make this so difficult?"

"I'm not making this difficult! Get to the point, Sirius!"

"The point is that I want to be with you and I don't care if everyone knows about us. Don't you see? Sammy, I love you and want everyone to know it."

Sam slightly smiled. "I don't know if I believe you. You lied to me about all of this before." Sirius slid under the table and pushed Chris out of the way to sit next to Sam. She stared at him in amazement. "What do you think you are doing?"

He pulled her close to him. "I'm going to make you believe me." He leaned in and kissed her in front of everyone. "Stay with me, Sam. Don't end what we've been waiting to have for so long. Don't end things because I was acting like a git!"

Sam laughed and kissed him again. "I love you, Sirius. I'll stay with you."

Sirius saw their friends and everyone else smiling in amazement at them and he started to pull away from her. Sam's face fell and moved away from him. "Do you ever mean what you say to me?"

Sirius swallowed down the knot that formed in his throat. He hugged her and kissed her temple. "Yes, I do. I don't care about everyone else. I just want to be with you."

She smiled at him. "I want to be with you too. Are you sure about this?"

Sirius wasn't sure about anything except one thing. He didn't want to lose her. "I'm sure."

* * *

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* * *

Sam and Sirius were walking back to the Gryffindor common room, hand in hand. As people passed, they stared and smiled in their directions. Sirius clenched his teeth as he noticed the stares, normally, he didn't mind attention people would throw his way but for some reason it bothered him this time. He was happy that Sam forgave him and decided to stay with him but he just didn't like how everyone was gawking at them.

Sam wrapped her arm around his waist and he felt the knot in his throat grow. He gave her a weak smile when he noticed her look at him. "Are you ok?" She whispered in his ear. Sirius felt a tingle when her breath flowed across his ear and quickly nodded. "I'm just fine. Why do you ask?"

She stared at him closely. "No reason. It just looks like you're about to pass out."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. "You have that effect on me."

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Wow! You really are full of it!"

Sirius laughed and followed her into the common room. They sat down on the sofa and Sirius blew in her ear. She let out a light giggle and laughed some more when he nibbled on her ear. She turned her head and kissed him. He sucked her bottom lip and she trembled. James and Remus walked over to them and sat down. "Would you two get a room? That is disgusting and no one wants to see that!" exclaimed James.

They broke apart and Sam smiled at him. "We could use your room, big brother. Don't worry; it would only take a minute."

Remus laughed while Sirius looked offended. "Excuse me! I would hope it takes longer than a minute!" Sam laughed while Sirius saw the look on James' face. Sirius quickly stammered. "N-Not that i-it matters how long it takes! W-We don't do anything but talk. Long talks about nothing important."

Remus and Sam shared a look before laughing. James shook his head. "That was very sad, Padfoot. You need to work on your covering up skills."

Sam patted Sirius' knee. "James is right, you know? That was really quite pathetic." Sirius shook his head and groaned. Sam gave him a comforting smile. "What did you want, James?"

"I need to talk to Sirius for a moment."

Sirius looked at him. "What about?"

Sam stood up. "I'll leave you three alone while you talk."

She gave Sirius a brief kiss and walked away. Sirius gazed after her with a wide grin playing on his lips. James and Remus looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "Was I ever that pathetic when I went out with her?" Remus asked.

James nodded. "Yes, you were. I don't know why but my sister makes guys act like complete ponces whenever she is around."

Sirius sighed happily as he continued to watch her. "Look at her. She is amazing! She's beautiful and smart. Who wouldn't want to be around her?"

James and Remus stifled their laughter. "I thought we went through this before? She is my sister and I don't look at her in that way." James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know that, mate. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I was just wondering if you were up to sneaking out tonight. We haven't done that since the beginning of last term."

Sirius shrugged. "I promised Sam that we would spend the night together. I'll just have to talk to her about it."

James laughed. "Wow! I never thought I'd see the day when a girl had Sirius Black whipped!"

Sirius glared at him. "I am not whipped! Are you telling me that Lily is okay with you just leaving for no good reason?"

James nodded. "She insisted upon it. She said something about finally getting some work done without me trying to distract her. But by all means, ask Sam's permission."

"I don't need anyone's permission to do anything! I'm just going to inform her that I'm leaving."

James and Remus laughed when Sirius got up and walked over to her. They watched closely as Sirius talked to Sam. They saw her slightly pout and Sirius smile and kiss her. He came running back over and they looked up at him with big smiles on their faces. "So did mummy say it was okay for you to come out and play?" James asked.

Sirius glared at him. "Oh shut up! She just decided that I didn't feel like going out tonight. How about tomorrow? She's going to be helping Patty with some homework and we will be free to do whatever we want."

Remus laughed. "You were right, Prongs. I never thought I'd see the day that Padfoot would have a leash around his neck."

Sirius laughed sarcastically. "Coming from the man that was practically neutered by her for two years."

Remus held up his hands in defense. "I never said that I wasn't whipped when I was with her. I'm just saying that I never thought that you would be."

"I'm not whipped!" They just stared at them. "Fine! To hell with it, we'll go tonight!"

Remus and James put their hands to their hearts and looked at each other in mock concern. "But what would mummy say?" They asked in unison.

Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned. "Oh shut the hell up the both of you!"

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Sirius was walking alone in the hallway after classes. He wasn't watching where he was going and bumped into someone. He looked up and smiled. "Hello Sarah. Sorry about that."

Sarah smiled and blushed. "It's not a problem. I wasn't watching where I was going either. How's everything going with the old ball and chain?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably and laughed nervously. "Things with Sam are going ok, I supposed. Why do you ask?"

Sarah slightly shrugged. "I was just wondering. I never thought I'd see the day when you would be in a committed relationship. Hell must really have frozen over."

Sirius sneered. "Well, I'm happy with her. We make sense together. Not that it's any of your business."

She smiled and eyed him closely. "Wow! You are being very defensive. Did I hit a nerve?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, you didn't."

"Are you sure? It seems like I did."

"Well, you didn't!"

"Then why are you getting so upset about me asking about your relationship?"

Sirius looked at her closely. "Because it seems to me that you are up to something. I don't know what it is but I don't like it."

Sarah rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm not up to anything. I was just trying to catch up with and old friend."

Sirius sighed. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. Everything is fine, if you must know."

"Not feeling trapped, are you? I know how being with one girl for over a week can make you feel claustrophobic."

He glared at her. "We've been together for over tow months!"

"Really? Well, isn't that nice?"

"Sirius!"

Sirius jumped and turned around. Sam and her friends were walking over to them. Sirius inwardly groaned. "Hey Sam!"

Sam hugged him and left her arm around his waist. He shifted uncomfortably in her tight embrace. His movements caused Sarah to smile brightly. "Hello Sarah. How are you?" Sam asked.

Sirius kissed Sam's temple and Sarah rolled her eyes. "I'm doing just fine. Thank you so much for asking. It's nice to know that my well being is one of your top priorities."

Sam smirked. "Oh, it is. Especially when you're well being is getting very close to my boyfriend."

Sarah laughed. "Why are you so nervous, Samantha? Does his reputation make you nervous?"

She shifted uncomfortably and glared at Sarah. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Sarah patted Sam's head. "We were just talking, that's all. No need to worry your pretty little head about it."

Sirius had to hold Sam back before she hit Sarah. Sarah's eyes widened and turned to leave. "I'll talk to you later, Sirius. When you're guard dog isn't around."

Sirius turned to Sam after Sarah left and sighed. "We need to talk in private for a moment." He dragged her out of earshot from her friends. He turned to her and glared. "What the hell was that all about?"

Sam glared right back at him. "I could ask the same thing!"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about!"

"Don't you see? She's been after you since the beginning of term! I was just claiming what is mine!"

Sirius was fuming. "I'm not your fucking property! You don't own me and I am not your fucking whipped boyfriend that does everything you say!"

Sam was honestly confused. "I didn't mean it like that! And who said anything about you being whipped?"

Sirius looked away from her. "It doesn't matter! You have to realize that you don't own me! I can talk to whomever I want to without you always hanging around!"

"Why are you acting this way?"

Sirius groaned. He knew that this fight was stupid and came out of left field but he was feeling overwhelmed by everyone knowing about them and adding their two cents into their relationship and he decided to take it out on her even though she didn't deserve it. "It doesn't matter! Stop acting like you own me! I've been doing just fine before we got together. I don't need some little girl with a crush putting her hooks into me!"

Sam was crushed. "I-Is that how you see me? Is that the way you really feel? Some little girl with a crush who thinks she owns you?"

"Sam, I'm sorry. I don't really think of you like that. I was just upset. If that's what I really thought, I wouldn't be with you."

She looked back at her friends and saw them wave her over. "I have to go."

He sighed. He was surprised that she didn't slap him after what he said. He was actually expecting it because he knew he deserved it. Sirius brought her into a hug and held her closely. "How about you and me spend sometime together?"

Sam shook her head. "I can't. I'm spending time with my friends tonight."

"You spent time with them yesterday when I left with your brother and Moony."

Sam sighed. "I promised. I can't break a promise."

Sirius groaned. "Come on, Sam. I'm talking about one night! They'll understand!"

Sam nodded reluctantly and walked over to her friends. "It's about damn time! Why did yelling at him take so long!" grunted Lilac.

"I'm sorry, guys. He wants to hang out with me tonight, alone. We can hang out tomorrow."

Patty groaned. "Why doesn't he just put a leash around your neck and call it a day? He's got you whipped!"

"No, he doesn't. He just wants to make up for ditching me last night."

Mary and Alice rolled their eyes while Patty and Lilac glared at her. "If you're not careful, he's going to make you into a doormat. I don't know what it is about your brother's friends but once you're with them, you let them walk all over you!" Patty yelled.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about!" Sam asked incredulously.

Lily decided to answer. "When Remus broke up with you and pretended to be with Hannah, you took him back and pretended nothing happened. You put up a good front but once he said he was sorry, it was like you forgot everything he said and did to you. When he cheated on you, you, once again, pretended that nothing happened. When are you going to grow a backbone where your brother's friends are concerned? It's only a matter of time before Sirius does the same thing. He has already ditched you when you two had plans. What's next? Are you going to find him in bed with Sarah and apologize for interrupting them?"

Sam was getting really annoyed. She honestly wondered if she had a target on her back and didn't know it. "Is it beat up on Sam day or something? Because I didn't see the notice on the bulletin board this morning. I was not Remus' doormat and I won't be Sirius'. I'm sorry that I'm breaking our plans but he wants to make it up to me for ditching me. What am I supposed to do?"

Mary sighed. "Here's an idea! Tell him no and come with us."

Alice smiled encouragingly at Sam. "Come on, Sam. Come with us."

Sam looked desperately at them. "Sam, come on!" Sirius yelled and Sam jumped. He was looking rather annoyed and she groaned. "I'm sorry. I'll hang with you lot tomorrow."

Patty looked at her like she was something stuck on her shoe. "Don't bother. Find us when you come to your senses."

"Guys, don't do this. You're all my best friends. Why can't you be friends with me if I'm dating Sirius?"

Alice hugged Sam. "We aren't going to stop being friends with you. We just have to accept your relationship with him and he's going to have to accept our friendship with you."

Sam smiled at Alice. "Thank you, Alice. That means a lot to me that you all are willing to compromise."

The other three grumbled while Alice kept smiling encouragingly. "Sam, let's go! How long does it take to break plans!" Sam jumped and waved goodbye to them as she ran over to Sirius.

The four girls shared a look and sighed. "He is going to break her heart, and we are going to have to put her back together." Mary said in a sigh.

"No, we won't. She'll run to Lily, not us. Don't you ever notice that the only reason she tells us anything is because we are usually hanging out near where she is talking to Lily about anything." Lilac said.

Alice sighed. "Then we'll just have to prove to her that we are just as trustworthy as Lily. We have to be there for her when he breaks her heart."


	29. Chapter 28: Matter Of Time

Chapter 28: Matter Of Time.

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"So, are you sure that you want to hang out with me and my friends in the library tonight?" asked Sam shyly.

Sirius held in the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't mind spending the night with her but her friends were another story. He had a nagging feeling that they didn't really like the fact that he was dating Sam. "Yes, I'm sure. Anything to spend time with you." Sam smiled and he kissed her.

She walked him over to where James, Remus, Peter, Frank Longbottom, and Kevin Johnson were sitting and talking. Sam kissed Sirius goodbye and left the boys alone. Sirius sat down with a wide smile but it quickly vanished when James spoke. "So, what is Sam letting you do tonight?"

The guys laughed while Sirius scowled. "We are meeting in the library after dinner. And just so you know, it was my idea."

"I'm sure she let you believe that." Frank said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up, Longbottom. We all know Alice has you by the short hairs."

Frank laughed. "She sure does. I just didn't expect that a girl would do the same thing to you."

"Why does everyone think that I'm some whipped moron!"

James laughed. "You've always been a moron! You follow her around like some lost puppy! You jump whenever she tells you to. What else are we supposed to think?"

"Well, I'm not! I can do whatever I want and Sam doesn't say a word!"

Remus smiled. "That doesn't last long. Trust me."

The guys laughed while Sirius looked nervous. "Wait until you two get serious enough to talk about marriage. You're easy ride will be over!" Kevin said with a smile.

"M-Marriage? It's too soon for that!"

Frank shook his head. "I've been with Alice for over a year and we started talking about it after a month."

Sirius started to sweat. He knew he loved Sam and wanted to marry her but it was still too soon to talk about it. He may have slightly proposed to her but all this talk about marriage made him regret it.

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Sirius was waiting in the stacks of the library. He was supposed to meet Sam and her friends but she was running late. Her friends were already there but he would rather not spend his time in awkward silence with them while they waited for her. He was extremely bored while waiting for her, so he decided to start on some of his work. That didn't last long, so he went into the stacks to waste some time. Sirius turned around when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He was surprised to see Sarah Rudolph standing there. "Hello Sirius." She said sweetly while fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Sirius grinned at her. "Hey Sarah! How can I help you?"

"Wow! You seem a lot nicer tonight. You're not biting my head off."

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that. You caught me on a bad day. How can I help you?"

"You can help me by escorting me to the astronomy tower like we used to."

Sirius gulped uncomfortably. "W-What? You know that I'm with Sam."

Sarah smiled. "Yes, I know that. But really Sirius, how long will it last? With you reputation that you've proudly built up? That you strut around the castle and wear it like a badge of honor? Why are you going out with her when you know it's only a matter of time before you break her heart?"

Sirius sneered at her. "I love Sam! I'm not going to break her heart!"

Sarah lightly laughed. "How many girls did you tell the same exact thing to?"

She had him there. He looked away and sighed. "It's different with her! Sam is the only person that I want to be with! Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Sirius, I know you. This thing you have with her, it won't last." Before he could reply, she kissed him. She pulled him closer and deepened the kiss.

Sirius ran his fingers through her hair and slid his tongue in her mouth. A few minutes went by before a mental image of Sam catching them entered his mind. He pushed her away and he shook his head.

Sarah laughed. "See, you can't change. It's only a matter of time before you break her heart."

She left him standing there alone. He couldn't believe his stupidity. He didn't understand why he just did that. Sirius jumped when he heard Sam's voice. "Sirius? What are you doing back here?"

Sirius smiled nervously. "Just wasting time before you showed up."

Sam looked at him closely. "Are you ok? You're looking a little flushed."

He nodded quickly. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Do you want to go back to your room to rest? We can hang out some other time."

Sirius pulled her to him and kissed her. She deepened the kiss and held him closely. "I'm fine. I just want to be with you."

Sam laughed. "I see. Do you want to go to the Room of Requirement again?"

Sirius nodded happily and wiggled his eyebrows. "Yes, please!" Sam laughed again and led him out of the library so they could be alone.

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Sam and Lily were hanging outside by the lake after classes were over when Sirius and James joined them. James kissed Lily but stopped short when he heard Sam giggle. He looked up and saw Sirius nibbling his sister's ear. "Oi, Padfoot! That's my sister! Keep it in your pants!" James said with a disgusted look on his face. Sirius laughed and held up his hands in surrender.

Sam and Lily shared a look and laughed. "Oi, Lily! That's my brother! Keep it in your pants!" Sam said in mock disgust. Lily imitated Sirius and held her hands in surrender.

James shook his head and laughed. "You are such a prat!"

"Where's Remus and Peter?" asked Lily.

Sirius pulled Sam closer to him and she kissed him briefly on the neck. "Remus is with Hannah and Peter is in the library." He said as Sam snuggled closer to him.

James groaned. "Do you mind?"

Sirius looked away from Sam and stared at James. "What?"

"Mate, stop snogging my little sister in front of me! It's disturbing!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Oh James really! It doesn't bother me when you are all over Lily in front of me! You should be happy that we are together! Now, stop acting like such a baby!"

Lily was shaking with laughter. "You see what I mean?"

Sam nodded while the boys stared at them in confusion. "What are you talking about?" asked James.

"Before you two got here, we were talking about what kind of fathers you two would be. Especially, if you had a girl." Sam said while Lily blushed.

James laughed while Sirius started to sweat. "Oh really? How'd we do?" James asked.

Lily blushed further when she saw how James was looking at her. "We think that the two of you would be excellent fathers. You would be very protective if you had a little girl. You know, the way you are with Sam and all of her men."

"How many men has she had?" James asked while eyeing Sam closely.

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, shut up! I've only ever been with two people!"

James glared at Sirius. "I still have trouble with the fact that my baby sister has had sex before me."

"What? I thought…ew! The mere thought of my brother having sex with anyone makes me sick!"

"Now you know how I feel." James grumbled.

Sirius laughed. "He was waiting for Lily to finally come 'round."

James and Lily blushed. "I think it would be brilliant to be a father. When can we start trying for one?" James said.

Lily laughed when James started wiggling his eyebrows at her. "After we say 'I do.'"

Sirius didn't feel comfortable with this conversation. It especially got worse for him when Lily mentioned a double wedding. He paled at all the talk about marriage and babies. He turned when he heard Sam laugh. She was staring at him and laughed harder when she noticed how pale he looked. "Sirius, calm down and breathe! We aren't talking about getting married and having babies tomorrow! It's not like you've asked me to marry you."

Sirius slightly smiled but it soon vanished when she smiled and winked at him. He knew what the wink meant. She was thinking about the partial proposal he made the first night they slept together. A part of him was ecstatic that she remembered it but another part of him had really hoped that she would have forgotten all about it. He was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. Things with Sam were moving a little too fast for his liking. Sirius couldn't take it back because he didn't want to hurt her. Sarah's words flooded his mind and he felt trapped.

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Sam and Sirius were sitting in the common room doing their homework. Actually, Sam was trying to do her work but kept getting distracted by Sirius blowing in her ear and kissing her neck. She bit her lip and let out a giggle. "Sirius, I have to get this done."

Sirius continued kissing her neck and closed her books with his free hand. "You're entitled to take a break once in a while. I think it's time for one right now."

Sam laughed and pushed him away. "That's what you said when we took that break ten minutes ago."

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "Well, I wasn't done with that break yet. Come on, what's ten more minutes?"

Sam rolled her eyes and set down her quill. "Fine, ten more minutes and then you let me get back to work."

Sirius laughed and nodded. "Whatever you say."

Sam rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak but Sirius kissed her. Sirius pulled her chair closer to him and deepened their kiss. "Aw, you two are so sweet together. It makes me nauseous." They looked up and saw Lilac, Patty, Mary, and Alice staring at them. "With the way you two are going at it, I'd say that you should just go up to his room and shag already." Lilac said.

"We would but my brother's up there. That would be kind of awkward." Sam laughed. "Do you want to join us?"

They quickly sat down and Sirius inwardly groaned. "Well, if you are sure?" Alice said while taking out her books.

Sam laughed as Sirius turned in his chair and glared at his books. "Don't you lot have boyfriends?" He grumbled.

The girls looked up at him in surprise. "Yes, we do. Why do you ask?" asked Mary while eyeing him closely.

Sirius glared at her. "Then why aren't you with them now?"

Sam slapped his arm. "Don't be such a prat!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not being a prat. I was just wondering why, if they do have boyfriends that they aren't with them instead, and are hanging out with us?"

Patty glared at him. "If you must know, they are with their friends. We don't see the need to neglect our friends just to keep our boyfriends happy."

He gave her a sneering smiled. "Well, maybe you should start. So, they don't run off with some other girls."

Sam's eyes widened. "Sirius! Would you stop!"

Mary's mouth thinned into a tight line. "We aren't worried about them. We aren't dating anyone with your reputation of loving them and leaving."

Sam groaned. "Mary, stop! What has gotten into you all!"

They ignored her and kept arguing. "I love Sam! I would never do that to her!" Sirius spat out. He honestly didn't understand how Sam could be friends with such annoying people.

"Wow! That sounds familiar! Didn't you say that exact same thing about Sarah Rudolph, Monica Winston, Krista Michaels, and Robin Lynch…? I could go on forever." Lilac glared and sneered at him.

Sirius let out a very forced laugh. "That was very funny! You know what else is funny? How your _devoted_ boyfriend, Adam Brown, describes how you kiss. I think he said that you reminded him of a leech trying to suck his face off."

The other girls struggled to keep their laughter in while Lilac was fuming. "He did not! Why am I even bothering talking to you? You are just going to break her heart! And we're going to have to comfort her because that's what best friends do!"

"You lot are not her best friends! Lily is her best friend! I honestly have no idea why she wastes her time with you!"

"That's it! Stop it! This is ridiculous!" Sam yelled.

Lilac and Sirius looked at her before continuing their fight. "You know, I never understood what she sees in you! Remus, I understood! I really do miss him. He was at least polite and didn't mind when we hung out with them. I really do miss him. Sam, why can't you get back together with him? Anything is better than this loser who will just cheat on you!"

"I'm not the one who would cheat!" Sirius grunted. Sam gave him a look. Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I meant that I wouldn't cheat on her!"

Patty rolled her eyes. "Sure you wouldn't!"

Sam had enough. She collected her belongings and walked away. "This is so stupid! I'll be in the library when you lot finally grow up!"

Sirius glared at them when she left. "What the bloody hell is your problem?"

Alice sighed. "We saw you and Sarah kissing in the stacks."

Sirius sighed. "She kissed me. I pushed her away."

Mary rolled her eyes. "Not soon enough. You better not hurt Sam!" He glared at them before leaving to go up to his room.

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Sam was walking back from the library to the common room when a raven haired girl stopped her. "Hey Sam! Wait up!"

Sam turned around and slightly smiled at her. "Hello Monica. How are you?" Monica was one of the only girlfriends that Sirius had that Sam actually liked. Sam knew that Monica was Sirius' first lover but it never bothered her. Even after Sirius broke up with her, Monica was always very nice and friendly towards her.

"I've been better. I think we need to talk about Sirius." Monica said with a sigh. Monica looked at Sam and sighed once more. "I'm worried that he is going to hurt you."

Sam gave her a curious look. "Why do you say that? What do you mean?"

Monica wouldn't look at her. "Look, I didn't want to tell you this because it is something that Sirius should be doing. A few days ago, I was in the library and saw him kissing Sarah Rudolph. I confronted her after you left with him and told her to stay away from him because he is with you. Sarah said that she was just trying to warn him not to break your heart. Sam, I'm sorry. I just thought that you had to know."

"You're lying! Sirius would never do that to me! He loves me!"

Monica shook her head. "I'm sure he told you that. He told all his girlfriends that. Sam, I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I just didn't want him to make a fool out of you like he did with me."

Monica left Sam standing there looking rather upset. Sam quickly walked back to the common room and saw Sirius sitting there with James, Lily, and Remus. He looked up and smiled at her. His smile quickly vanished when he saw the look on her face. "Remus, can I talk to you in private? It's really important." Sam wouldn't look at Sirius and was staring hard at Remus.

James laughed. "Sirius didn't get you pregnant, did he?"

Sam glared at him and James quickly shut up. Sirius looked at her with fear in his eyes. "Y-You're not pregnant, are you?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Would you two shut up! I'm not pregnant! If I was, don't you think I'd talk to you instead of Remus! I just need to talk to him in private!"

"Is everything ok?" Sirius asked with concern in his voice.

She barely nodded. "Everything is just peachy. Remus, can we talk?"

Remus stood up and they went up to his room. He sat down on his bed with a sigh. She paced back and forth in front of him and was not saying a word. Remus had no idea what this was about but he knew that it couldn't be good. "Sam, what's going on?"

Sam stopped pacing and eyed him closely. "Remus, why did you cheat on me?"

Remus' breathing slowed. "What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

Sam sighed and sat down next to him. "I just need to know. Was it something I did? Something I didn't do?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't about you. It was the possibility of you being pregnant, being drunk, and she was just there. I was a moron and made a mistake. Why are you asking me about all of this now?"

She wouldn't look at him. "I'm losing him."

"Who? Sirius?"

Sam nodded. "I just heard something that might have happened and was wondering if you cheated on my because there was something wrong with me."

Remus hugged her. "There's nothing wrong with you. I was stupid, that's all. Sirius would never cheat on you. He knows better than to do that."

Sam hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Remus. I needed to hear that."

Remus smiled and kissed her forehead. "Anytime. That's what I'm here for. You should really talk to him about all of this, not me."

"I know. I just needed to talk to you first. I just had to make sure that it wasn't _completely_ my fault."

They were walking down to the common room when James' angry voice stopped them on the landing. "Why shouldn't I say it? Everyone else thinks it! My baby sister is a whore!"

Sam's breath caught in her throat. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "James, why the hell are you talking about her like that?" yelled Lily.

"Because it's true! My parents raised her better than this! They don't want some slut as a daughter! She gave it up quickly to Moony and she barely went out with Sirius for two weeks when they slept together! Isn't that what you just told me, Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded. "I did but she isn't a whore, James. It's not like there is a line of guys outside her room holding tickets."

Remus was about to run downstairs to defend her but she stopped him and held a finger to her mouth to make sure he kept quiet. Sam was hurt by Sirius' lack of defense. It seemed to her that he barely cared about what her brother was saying about her. "You! I know what you are like with your girlfriends! You are just going to break her heart!" James growled.

Sirius was shocked. Out of all the people he cared about he thought James had a little more faith in him. "I'm not going to hurt her! I care about Sam! She means everything to me!"

James sighed and sat down. "I know. I'm sorry, mate. I shouldn't have said those things to you."

Sirius barely smiled. "It's alright, Prongs. You were just worried about her."

Lily looked disgusted with the both of them. "What about Sam? Aren't you the least bit sorry about what you said about her?"

"Well, maybe if she spent a little less time on her back, I would be. She has got to learn not to sleep with every guy that crosses her path."

"She doesn't sleep with every guy that crosses her path! She has only been with two people! She was in love you them both!"

"She did sleep with Remus rather quickly." Sirius said in a small voice.

Remus held her while Sam shook with anger. Lily growled. "I can't believe you two! You both claim to love her but it's unbelievable! How can you say these horrible things about her! Sam isn't a whore! How can I possibly be dating such a bastard?"

James quickly stood up and blocked Lily from leaving. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Lily shook her head and sighed. "No, I'm not. For some reason, I love you even though you don't deserve it. You two have to realize that what she is doing is perfectly normal. She was in love with Remus and she's in love with you, Sirius. Sam isn't doing anything wrong!"

Sirius looked guilty while James nodded. "I just wish that she would keep her legs closed until after she's married." James grumbled.

Lily punched him in the arm. "Shut up! I don't want you to ever say something horrible like this about your sister again! The both of you!" They nodded slowly in agreement.

Remus held Sam while she silently cried. He couldn't believe James or Sirius. He didn't understand how they could say such horrible and untrue things about her. Sam pulled away from him and went up to her room. Remus stomped down the stairs and glared at his friends. "I honestly can't believe you two!"

The three of them looked at him and were surprised to see how angry he looked. "What's up, Moony?" James asked slowly.

Remus was fuming. "Sam heard everything you two said! I had to comfort her while she cried! James, how could you say that about your sister! Sirius, how could you say that about your girlfriend! You two should be ashamed of yourselves! She is the farthest thing from a whore! Yes, we slept together and it was only a few months after we got together but we were in love! We did it for the right reasons and not because she had to fill a quota!"

Sirius sighed. "I guess I better go talk to her."

"Don't bother! It's better to let her cool down unless you want your balls chopped off! You don't deserve to like the crap off of her shoes!"

Sirius sneered and glared at him. "Fuck you." He turned and left the common room.


	30. Chapter 29: Coward

Chapter 29: Coward.

* * *

James waited anxiously in his room while Lily went to get Sam. Lily opened the door and pushed Sam in before leaving. James looked up and sighed. She walked across the room and sat down on the window seat. He stared at her closely and saw her tear stained face. He walked over to her and sat down. He was about to speak but she got up and walked away. James sighed and followed her. "Sammy, I'm sorry."

She barely shrugged. James closed his eyes and inwardly groaned. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought it would be. "Samantha, why are you being difficult! I'm trying to apologize!"

She glared at him. "Try harder!"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Sirius just let it slip how soon you two slept together and I lost it. I just want to protect you and the thought of some guy violating you upset me."

Sam slightly laughed. "No one violated me. I love Sirius and we slept together. End of story. It just really hurt to hear what you really think of me."

James sighed and cautiously walked over to her. He slowly pulled her into a hug and felt relieved when she hugged him back. "I don't think you are a whore. I would never think that about you. I'm sorry, Sammy. I hate the fact that you're mad at me. You're the only little sister that I've got and I don't want to lose you."

Sam smiled at him. "You'll never lose me…unless you keep calling me a whore. Then I'm going to have to kill you."

James shifted uncomfortably and let out a nervous laugh. "That's good to know. I'll keep that in mind."

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Sirius wondered the halls, aimlessly. He was feeling sick to his stomach and there was nothing he could do about it. The thought of losing Sam had always plagued his mind since before he could remember and it terrified him. Sirius didn't like the idea of not having her in his life but he knew it wasn't fair to be with her out of fear. He never loved anyone the way he loved Sam. He just wasn't ready for all the things that went with having a relationship with her.

His heart hurt as he thought about what he was going to say to her. Sam would never forgive him and Sirius wouldn't blame her one bit. Tears formed in his eyes because he knew that he was being a coward but he didn't see another way out of this mess that he created.

Sirius found himself on the astronomy tower and saw Sarah standing there by the ledge. She turned around when she heard him open the door. Sarah smiled brightly at him but it quickly vanished when she saw the look on his face. "Sirius? Are you ok?"

Sirius walked over to her and hugged her. He was beginning to have second thoughts about leaving Sam but he heard himself speak before he could stop himself. "You were right about me. I'm just going to break her heart."

Sarah sighed as she held him. "Sirius, she will understand. You don't really love her and she's just going to have to accept it."

Sirius felt a tightness in his chest. He didn't want to lose Sam. He didn't want what they had to end. He honestly didn't know what was wrong with him that would make him ruin something that was what he really wanted. "I need you to help me forget her."

She kissed him softly but was surprised when he pushed her up against the wall. He kissed her with such force that Sarah thought he broke her jaw. Sarah wrapped her legs around him as he pulled down his pants. She clung to him tightly and let out a gasp when they began.

"_You are a coward! A fucking stupid and pathetic coward! You have no one to blame but yourself for this! She will hate you! She will never forgive you! You will lose her for good after this!_" Sirius thought to himself as Sarah let out another gasp. Sirius fell away from her when they were finished. He crouched down on the floor and was shaking.

Sarah leaned over him and gave him a kiss. "She'll understand, Sirius. She has to know that you don't love her."

She left him there, alone. He was sitting on the floor and he couldn't believe how stupid he was. He was purposely ruining one of the best relationships he had just because he was scared. It was now too late to take it back. Sirius didn't want to face Sam. He didn't want to break her heart. He wasn't ready to lose her. Sirius put his hand against the wall and helped himself up.

As he was walking back to the common room, he saw Sam and Chris talking. A tear slipped down his cheek when he saw how happy she was. They started to walk away just as Sirius got himself together. Chris put his arm around her and whispered in her ear. Sam laughed as she hugged him and Sirius saw red. He ran up to them and pulled Sam away from Chris. "Get your hands off my girlfriend!"

Sam pushed him away. "Girlfriend! You kiss other girls and think that I'm a whore! If you really thought I was your girlfriend, then you should have defended me and kept your lips to yourself."

Sirius grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go. She fought as hard as she could but he wouldn't let go. "Sammy, please, can we talk in private?"

Sam gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Chris, I'll talk to you later." Sirius glared at Chris and Chris gave him the finger before walking away. Sam looked at him and sneered. "What do you want? Did you finish snogging Sarah early and want to tell me how slutty I am?"

Sirius' breathing slowed. He stared at her angry face and he began to cry. He held on to her tightly as he cried. Sam had no idea what to do. She looked around awkwardly before closing her arms around him. She eased him down so they could sit on the floor and continued to cradle him in her arms. "I'm so sorry, Sam. I never meant to hurt you." He grunted into her shirt. He wrapped him fists around her robes and let her rub his back.

"Shh! Baby, its okay. I know you're sorry. Everything is going to be ok. I forgive you. It was a mistake. We all make them. It's not a big deal." She whispered into his ear.

"I'm going to lose you."

Sam smiled gently at him. "That's why you are acting this way? You think you're going to lose me?" He nodded and she kissed him. "Sirius, you will never lose me. My mother always told me that the people you love never truly leave you because you can find them in your heart. No matter what happens between us, I'll never leave you."

He knew that she meant every word she had said. He was going to lose her because he was a moron. He didn't deserve her warmth, care, loyalty, or love. Sirius closed his eyes as she rubbed his back and tried her best to comfort him. "I love you, Sam. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I need you to promise me something."

She smiled at him. "Anything."

"Promise me that no matter what happens between us that you will never stop loving me and that you will never give up on me."

Sam stared at him like she'd never seen him before. "Sirius, what's this all about?"

Sirius looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Promise me, Sam."

She nodded slowly. "I promise. I'll never stop loving you and I'll never give up on you." She stared at him closely. "Sirius, what's going on?"

Sirius choked out a sob. "I-I just had this overwhelming feeling that you were going to leave me. That I was going to do something stupid and you would be gone from my life forever."

"You're acting this way because you think I'm going to leave you? Sirius, I'd never leave you. I love you too much to do that. You have nothing to worry about. The only thing that could make me leave is if you cheated on me." Sirius went still. Sam noticed this and her heart stopped. "D-Did you cheat on me?"

Sirius shook his head slowly. "N-No, of course not."

Sam sighed happily. "Then you have nothing to worry about. I'm your girl, Sirius. No one else is good enough but you."

Sirius kissed her with such passion that it took her breath away. "Can we stay here for a while? Just you and me?"

Sam caressed his cheek and nodded. "Whatever you want. We'll stay here as long as you want. I just want you to be okay."

"I don't deserve you."

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "You don't but I don't deserve you either. All that matters is that we are happy together." Sirius hugged her close to him and sighed. He knew that he wasn't ready to let her go. He knew in his heart that this would be the last time she would look at him that way with such love. He was a moron that just ruined something very important to him.

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Sam and Lily were huddled together in the corner of the common room when Lilac, Patty, Mary, and Alice walked over. Sam and Lily stopped talking and looked up at them. "Hey girls! How's it going?" Lily asked.

The girls smiled as they sat down. "We're fine. What were you two talking about?" Alice asked.

Sam smiled. "We were talking about Sirius. I'm really worried about him. He was acting really weird last night."

Lilac rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with him now?"

Sam told them everything that happened between them the previous night and sighed. "I don't know what's going on with him but I'm really worried. When we first got together over the summer, everything was perfect. He was perfect. But since we came back to school, he has been acting strangely. He is moody and distant one moment and then he is all over me. I just don't get it. Before we came back here, we were fine. Is there something that I'm doing wrong? Do you think he is embarrassed to be with me?"

The girls hugged Sam tightly. "You aren't doing anything wrong. He is a guy and they are notoriously stupid. Frank acted the same way after we got together. He brought up marriage and children and then he started to get distant. I _kindly and calmly_ reminded him that he was the one that brought it up and he realized that he was acting like a prat. Now, we are fine. Sirius is probably just scared about how well everything is going between the two of you. He will get over it and things will be back to normal." Alice said.

Sam smiled. "Thank you, Alice. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have five of the greatest people as my best friends."

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Sirius waited for Sam outside of her Arithmancy class. He grabbed her around the waist and hugged her. She laughed and gave him a kiss. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

He held her hand as they walked down the hallway. "I just wanted to spend sometime with you. Do you want to go outside?"

She nodded and sighed happily as he put his arm around her shoulders. Sirius held her close to him as they made their way towards the lake. They sat down and he wrapped his arms around her. "How are you doing?" She asked while looking at him with concern.

Sirius shrugged. "I'm doing much better now that I'm with you. I wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting since we came back here. I've been under a lot of stress lately. This is my final year here and it's my N.E.W.T. year and it just got to me."

Sam smiled at him. "It's okay. I just want you to be alright."

He kissed her. "I am now. All I need is you and I'm fine."

She bit her lip and smiled. She was just happy that he seemed to be his old self again. He continued to kiss her and tried to put his hand under her shirt but she stopped him. "Sirius, we can't do this out here. What if a teacher walks by? Or worse, my brother?"

Sirius laughed. "One day, we will be able to do it anywhere we want. That is until we have kids."

Sam looked shocked and nervously laughed. "Kids! We are having kids, are we?"

He nodded. "Of course, we are! I think five or six will be a good amount."

"Who exactly will be carrying and giving birth to all these children?"

"You, of course! You will be a fantastic mother, Sam! Do you want to start trying now?"

He wiggled his eye brows before kissing her and moving his hands up her thighs. She laughed and tried to push him away and he finally stopped when he heard James' voice. "Oi, Padfoot! Didn't we already talk about this? Stop groping my sister!" Sirius rolled his eyes and moved his hand to hug Sam instead. James and Lily sat down next to them.

They were talking but Sirius was quickly distracted. Sarah and her friends walked by and she glared at him. He shifted uncomfortably and was starting to sweat. It was hard enough being with Sam without the constant reminder of the mistake he made always walking by. Sometimes he wondered how he became so completely stupid when all he heard was how smart he is. He knew without a doubt that he loved Sam but it was all moving way too fast for his liking. That was all his fault because he kept bringing up the subject of marriage and now he mentioned having children. Sirius didn't understand why he was acting this way but he knew that he had better stop it soon or he wouldn't only lose Sam but James as well. There was no doubt in his mind that if he broke Sam's heart, James wouldn't be friends with him anymore and make him pay for hurting his little sister. The all too familiar tightness in his chest reappeared and he had no idea what to do.

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Sarah was walking down the hallway alone when Sirius caught up to her. He grabbed her hand but she pulled away from him. "What the hell do you want, Sirius?" He pulled her down the hallway and they ended up on the astronomy tower and she was finally able to get away from him. "What do you want?"

Sirius sighed. "We need to talk about what happened between us."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "What about it? How you used me? You never had any intention of breaking up with Sam, did you? You just wanted one more fling before going to be with her, didn't you?"

He shook his head. "At first, I did. Now, I know that I can't be with Sam. Things are getting out of control and I have no one to blame but myself."

She sighed and looked at him closely. "Why don't you just break up with her? If you don't love her, then why are you leading her on? It's not fair to her, me, or to you. Sirius, what do you want?"

He didn't answer because he didn't know what to say. He wanted Sam but he was too scared. Sirius kissed Sarah and she ran her fingers through his hair. Sirius began to make his second mistake.

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Sam happily walked with Sirius towards the Room of Requirement. She was so glad that he was finally acting like his old self again. He was being so kind and tender just like he was over the summer. This was the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with and she never felt happier. They entered the room and he kissed her passionately. Sirius held her tightly to him and she shivered. He made her feel so complete and at ease that she couldn't imagine her life without him. "Sirius, I love you so much. You make me so happy."

He didn't say a word. It was hard enough hearing her say all of that when all he was going to do was break her heart. He just wanted to be with her one more time before she began to hate him. Sirius felt his heart break when she said she loved him. He really did love her but he was too much of a coward to let himself love her back. Sirius undressed her and just stared. She blushed and looked at him nervously. "Why are you staring at me like that?" Sam asked shyly.

Sirius smiled slowly. "I just want to remember you like this." She smiled and undressed him. He clung to her tightly and didn't want to let her go. This was going to be the last time that they would be together and he wanted to make it memorable for the both of them.

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They left the Room of Requirement and walked towards the astronomy tower. They stood by the ledge and she leaned against him. The sky was clear and the stars were shining brightly down on them. Sam sighed and she couldn't think of another perfect moment. He pulled away from her and sighed. She turned and stared at him. "Is there something wrong?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes, there is. We are wrong together."

Sam looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "I mean that we should breakup. This isn't going to work, Sam."

"Y-You're joking, right?"

"I'm serious, Sam. We can't be together."

"Why not?"

Sirius wouldn't look at her. The fear in her voice made him want to stop what he was about to do but he realized it was for the best. "Things are moving way too fast. We keep talking about marriage and having kids. It's all too much too fast."

Sam couldn't believe this. She didn't want to believe this. "You were the one that brought that up. I never once asked you to propose or when will we have children. That was all you."

He sighed. "I know that it was and I shouldn't have done it." He took a deep breath and his voice shook when he spoke. "I shouldn't have done that because I d-don't love you."

She felt like the ground vanished and she couldn't stand. She put her hands against the wall to help her stand up. "Y-You can't mean that. You told me that you loved me. You said that you only wanted to be with me."

"I lied. I just said all those things to get you into bed. I got what I wanted and now, I'm over it. Don't get me wrong, you were good. You're very experienced for someone so young but you weren't good enough to keep my attention. That's why I have been cheating on you with Sarah."

"Y-You've been cheating on me?"

He nodded slowly. The look on her face tore him up. He pointed to a darkened corner. "You see that corner over there? That's where we first slept together. And, where you are standing, that's where we slept together the second time."

Sam was shaking as she moved away from the ledge. Tears were slowly moving down her face as she tried to comprehend what he was saying to her. "It's okay. We can work through this. It doesn't have to be over."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Yes, it does. I only said I loved you to get you into bed. I got what I wanted and I'm over it now."

She choked back a sob. "If you only wanted to see how I was in bed, then you should have just said something. I would have understood."

He let out a cruel laugh. "Your brother was right about you. You are just a whore."

She slapped him as hard as she could. "I am not a whore! You are a coward! You have someone who loves you. You have someone who would die for you staring you in the face and you are pushing that love away. You are just a fucking coward!"

Sirius sneered. "I'm not a coward!"

"Then why are doing this?"

He groaned. "Are you thick? How many times so I have to say it before it finally sinks in? I don't love you and I never did!"

Sam was crying so hard that when she spoke, her voice cracked. "Yes, you do! I know you do! I've been in love with you since I was ten! Doesn't that mean anything to you!"

He pushed her away when she put her arms around his neck. "It means nothing to me! I never asked you to love me! I never asked for any of this! You let yourself believe in something that wasn't real!"

Sam grabbed at him but he pushed her away with such force that she fell to the floor. "Sirius, don't do this! Please, don't leave me. I need you so much! Don't do this!"

Sirius was shaking. He didn't expect her to act this way. He knew that she would be upset but he didn't expect this. "Y-You don't need me! The only thing you need is to realize that it's over between us. You brought this on yourself!"

Her face was drenched with tears. "H-How did I do that?"

"You cheated on Moony when you knew that he loved you. Now, you got what you deserved!"

Sam moaned in agony. "I never cheated on Remus! I only told you that to protect him! He cheated on me! That's why we broke up!"

Sirius went still. He couldn't believe it. "H-How convenient that you decide to tell me the so-called truth now! I don't believe that you are so pathetic that you would lie like this! It's over, Sam!"

She wrapped her arms around his ankles but he kicked her off of him. "You can't mean that! You love me! I know you do!"

Sirius hated himself. He was single handedly destroying the best thing in his life because he was, in fact, a coward. He rolled his eyes at her. "No, I don't! Save your tears for someone who gives a damn! You mean nothing to me! I don't know how I put up with you for so long! You are just too pathetic for words! Having to deal with you for the past three months drove me insane! The mere sight of you sickens me! I don't love you, Sam. The sooner you realize that, the better off we will both be."

Sam was hysterically crying and groaned loudly as she laid on the floor. "Don't do this! Don't say things that you can't possibly mean! You said you would always love me! You said that I was the only one that you wanted to be with! I can't live without you, Sirius!"

Sirius walked over to the door and looked back at her. "Yes, you can. I lied to you, Sam. I don't want you anymore. Maybe…Maybe I never did. I just wanted to see what the big deal was about being with you. I still don't understand it. You aren't that great. You are just a spoiled brat that whines when she doesn't get her way. Why do you think you deserve to be loved when you just go around acting like a no good whore?"

Her chest hurt. She was feeling her heart break piece by piece with every word he said. "Please, stop saying these things! You're breaking my heart!"

He shrugged. "So what? I don't care. You deserve worse. What happened between us was a huge mistake. I was the only one with the courage to say anything. Goodbye Sam."

Sam grunted. "D-Don't say that! Don't say goodbye! We weren't a mistake! We can work through this! I can be different! I can make it better!"

Sirius shook his head. "No, you can't. You can't fix something that was never meant to last. It's over and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

He walked out the door and left her all alone. She cradled herself while she cried. "Please, don't leave me!"


	31. Chapter 30: Shell

Author's Note: The lyrics in two of the scenes are from a song called "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. Amazing song!

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Chapter 30: Shell.

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Sam couldn't feel anything as she walked back to the common room. In one night, her whole world shattered. The person that she knew she would spend the rest of her life with, broke her heart. She couldn't think and she couldn't feel a thing. There was a whole in her chest where her heart should have been. Sam entered the common room and inwardly groaned when she saw James and Lily cuddling on the couch. They stopped when she walked past them. Their smiles quickly faded when they saw her face. She ignored their questions of concern and went to the stairwell.

James walked up to her and stared closely. "Sammy, what's wrong?"

Sam turned and looked at her brother. "You were right about me, James."

He looked over at Lily and they didn't understand what was going on. Lily smiled encouragingly at Sam. "Sweetie, what's the matter? Do you need to talk?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. I just thought that James needed to know how right he had been about me. I'm going to bed. I just want to be alone."

She left them standing there looking utterly confused. Sirius walked in and put on a fake smile. "How's it going?" Sirius asked.

They looked at him and sighed. "Sirius, do you know what's wrong with Sam?" Lily asked.

Sirius paled but quickly recovered. "I can't say that I do. I haven't seen her all night."

James and Lily shared a look of doubt after Sirius quickly left. They didn't know what would make Sam say what she did but they had a sinking feeling that Sirius knew exactly what was going on.

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Sam entered her room and slammed the door. She fell onto her bed and continued her crying. She jumped and fell off her bed when she heard Lilac's voice. "Sam, is that you? What's the matter?"

She sighed. "Nothing is wrong. I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to sleep."

The girls got out of their beds and sat down next to her. "Sam, what's wrong?" asked Patty in a sleepy voice.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Lilac sneered at her. "I'm sure you would want to talk if Lily was here."

Sam looked at her closely. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You only talk to Lily about your problems! The only reason we know anything is because we interrupt conversations that you have with her!" Patty grunted.

"That's not true! You guys are my best friends!"

Lilac rolled her eyes. "We aren't your best friends! Do you listen to us when we talk about our problems? No, you don't! You do know that Alice has been dating that Longfoot fellow for over a year, right?"

"Longbottom." Alice corrected.

Lilac rolled her eyes again. "Like it matters! The point is that we aren't really friends! You don't care about us!"

Sam started to cry. "So, now, I'm a whore and a terrible friend! That's just great! I thought that tonight couldn't get any worse! Now, I find out that my friends hate me!"

They shared a look. They never expected her to act like this. "Sam, we don't hate you. We just want you to confide in us more. We know that you go to Lily for everything but you should also realize that we're your friends too." Alice said slowly.

Sam nodded as she let out another sob. "I know that. I love you guys so much. It just hurts so much."

Mary hugged her tightly. "What hurts? Talk to us, Sam. Maybe we can help fix this!"

She shook her head. "No one can fix this! I begged him to stay with me! I _begged_ him!"

They shared a sigh. "What did Sirius do now?" Patty asked.

Sam cried as she told them what happened. She let them hold her while she cried. "He meant everything to me, and now, he's gone. He didn't love me."

All they could do was stare at her. They honestly couldn't believe how cruel Sirius could be to break her heart like that. Sam was crying so hard that she was gasping for air. They tried their best to comfort her but nothing seemed to work. "I-I just want you to know that I wasn't planning on telling Lily about this. I can't because she would probably tell James. I don't want to be the reason that he stops being friends with Sirius. They are best friends and Sirius is a good guy."

Lilac gritted her teeth. "How can you defend me after what he just put you through? He doesn't deserve to lick the crap off of your shoes!"

Sam let out a shaky breath. "I love him. He means everything to me. We are meant to be together!"

"No, you're not! Sam, in case you haven't listened to yourself, he broke up with you in one of the worst ways possible. He doesn't love you! Sirius is the most selfish and arrogant prat! He doesn't deserve you!" Patty growled.

"I lost him because I'm weak. He was right about me. I'm just a spoiled brat that whores herself around!"

Alice groaned. "No, you're not! We wouldn't be friends with you if you were all that! Sirius had so many chances to realize how lucky he was that you loved him but he blew it every time! Don't let what he said to you make you forget your worth. No guy is worth that!"

Sam sighed. "Can you all please sleep with me tonight? I don't think I could handle being alone."

They nodded. They helped her get ready for bed and talked the night away. They fell asleep holding hands so that she would know that they didn't desert her when she needed them most.

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Sam wasn't at breakfast or lunch the next day and James was getting really worried. Lily went to check her room to see if she was there and James sighed in relief when Lily walked down with a smile on her face. "She's fine. They were asleep on her bed and holding hands. It was so cute. They should be down in a few minutes."

James nodded slowly. "Good. I just wanted to make sure she was okay after last night. She was just acting so weird that her not showing up for breakfast or lunch got me worried."

Lily smiled at him. "I know. It made me worried as well. Now we know that she is fine."

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The girls got dressed in silence. They were still a little groggy from sleeping all day and could have honestly slept well into the nest morning. Sam sat on her bed with a defeated sigh. The others stared at her closely and she began to cry. "H-How am I suppose to face him after everything that happened?" Sam asked mostly to herself.

Alice sat down next to her and smiled. "You're going to hold your head up high and pretend that it doesn't bother you. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt you. He wants to see a reaction from you and you can't let him get what he wants."

Sam nodded and hugged them. "Thank you all so much for being there for me. I really needed you last night and you helped me a lot."

The girls smiled at each other. "You would have done the same for us." Patty said.

They walked downstairs and James hugged her. "Are you ok?"

Lily hugged her as Sam answered. "I'm fine. It's just that Sirius and I b-broke up. I was upset but I'm all better now."

James and Lily stared at her in shock. "What? W-When?" Lily asked.

Sam wouldn't look at them. "Last night."

"Why?" James was looking at her closely. "He didn't mention anything when we spoke to him."

Sam sighed. She figured that Sirius would have waited until she told them. "I don't know why he didn't mention it."

Sirius and Remus walked in, laughing. Sam and Sirius paled at the sight of each other. They weren't ready to face each other just yet. "Why didn't you tell me that you two broke up?" James asked angrily.

Sirius gulped and then glared at Sam. "I-I don't know. I-I didn't know how to tell you, I guess. It was mutual though, right Sam?"

Sam felt her friends close in around her. She sighed. "Of course it was. _We_ realized that _we_ just didn't love each other like _we_ thought _we _did so _we _ended things before it went on too long."

The girls pulled Sam out of the common room and Lilac muttered. "We want to take advantage of the rest of the day. We'll see you lot later."

James glared at Sirius after they left. "You could have just told me when I saw you last night. You didn't have to wait for Sam to tell us."

Sirius shrugged. "I told you that I didn't know how. You know now so, what's the problem?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Why did you break up?"

He shrugged again, "Weren't you two listening? We just don't love each other. Why pretend when we know that it wasn't right?"

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Sam didn't want to eat a thing. She pushed her food around her plate with her fork and sighed. She kept staring at Sirius but he refused to look her way. He was too busy smiling at Sarah. She felt sick to her stomach. "Sam, don't look at him!" Patty hissed.

Alice looked away from Frank and sighed. "He isn't worth it. Don't give him the satisfaction!"

Frank looked confused. "What's going on? Why shouldn't she be staring at him?"

Lilac sighed. "He broke up with her last night."

Frank shook his head. "Why?" Alice gave him a look but he didn't care. "Why are you looking at me like that? I just don't understand why they broke up!"

Sam gritted her teeth. "He doesn't love me, okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's bull! Of course he does! Sirius wouldn't have been with you for so long if he didn't!"

She slightly smiled. "You really think he loves me?"

Alice nudged him in the ribs. Mary glared at him. "Don't give her false hope! He told her so! Can we please talk about something else?"

"No, we can't! Sam, do you want me to find out the real reason?"

Sam smiled. She always liked Frank. They had been friends for years and they had a close brother/sister like relationship. She knew exactly why Alice was so crazy about him. "Don't bother! She already knows why! The git cheated on her and he completely destroyed her!" Lilac said through gritted teeth.

Sam's face fell. Tears welded up in her eyes and Lilac winced. "No, its okay, Lilac. I know that you didn't mean anything by it. Frank, you can't tell James about any of this. The last thing I want is to cause problems between them."

Frank nodded slowly. Patty sneered at her. "You shouldn't protect him like that. He doesn't deserve it after what he did! He is no better than Remus!"

Frank spit out his pumpkin juice. "Remus cheated on you?"

Sam's eyes widened. She looked around and was relieved when she saw James laughing. "Yes, he did. But James doesn't know about that either and it's going to stay that way."

Frank nodded slowly. "Whatever you want, Sammy. I won't tell James anything."

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_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
Its strange what desire will make foolish people do  
_

Sam wandered the halls alone after dinner. She felt numb and she hated that she felt that way. She just wanted to be with Sirius so much but he didn't want to be with her. Her heart was completely destroyed and the only way to repair it was if he came back to her, but she knew that he wasn't going to do that. Sam walked aimlessly around and stopped when she heard Sarah giggle. Sam looked up and saw that Sirius and Sarah were holding hands and he was kissing her neck a few feet away. Sam stopped and stared at them in disbelief.

Sirius turned his head and stared at her. The way she was looking at them broke his heart. He knew that the way he ended things was the worst way possible and that he was the biggest coward in history. He pulled away from Sarah and walked over to Sam. "Hey Sam."

_I never dreamed that I´d meet somebody like you  
I never dreamed that I´d lose somebody like you  
_

She started to walk away but he stopped her. Tears were falling down her face and her voice cracked when she spoke. "Couldn't you have waited to be with her? Couldn't you have shown me the slightest bit of respect and done that?"

Sirius sighed. "Sam…" He trailed off. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Weren't you ever happy with me? Or was it all a lie? Why couldn't you just love me? I would have done anything for you, Sirius! If you told me to change, I would have! I love you so much that I would have changed everything about me just to make you happy."

_I don't wanna fall in love no (This world is only gonna break your heart )  
I don't wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart )  
with you...with you (This world is only gonna break your heart )  
_

"That's the problem! You are too weak to love. You are just some insecure little girl and I had enough! Maybe if you were a stronger person I would have felt the same way. It's over, Sam. You need to move on like I did!"

Sam ran away crying and he sighed before going back to Sarah. He hated himself for the way he treated her but it was for the best. Sam needed to realize that he just wasn't ready for everything that they had planned.

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_What a wicked game to play , to make me feel this way  
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you  
_

Sam couldn't sleep at all. She sat in the common room by the window and stared at nothing. She hated being trapped there. She hated having to see Sirius wherever she went. He was living at her house; he was at school with her, and in the same dorm. Wherever she went, he was there. He was invading her thoughts and her dreams. She couldn't escape him. It was hard enough trying to get over him without him always around.

_What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way  
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you_

Sirius loved how he was affecting her. He would smile at her whenever she saw him with Sarah. She hated him. She had a deep loathing for him whenever she saw him but when she was alone and no one was around, she thought of all the times they spent together. Sam thought of all the times he said he loved her and she still couldn't believe that it was all a lie.

_I don't wanna fall in love no (This world is only gonna break your heart )  
I don't wanna fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart )  
with you  
_

Sam looked down at her hands and started to cry. She was holding the picture of them. The picture they took the day by the lake during the first week of school. They looked so happy together and were smiling and holding each other tightly. Things weren't right between them then. She had pushed him to make their relationship public and that's when things started to go downhill. It was all her fault that the breakup happened. She pushed and pushed and when he couldn't take it anymore, he left.

_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
Its strange what desire will make foolish people do_

_I never dreamed that I´d love somebody like you  
I never dreamed that I´d lose somebody like you _

She just wanted him so much. He meant everything to her and he was now with Sarah. She bit her lip so that she wouldn't make any noise. If she did, with her luck, Sirius would come down and start yelling at her for being weak. She wanted to show him that it didn't matter what he said and would take him back, no matter what. He would probably just laugh at the way she was acting. She didn't care though. She needed him in her life but it hurt too much to see him.

_No I don't wanna fall in love  
No I don't wanna fall in love  
With you...with you  
Nobody else loves no one_

Sam sighed. She came to a decision. She would take Sirius' advice and become stronger. She would do her best to cut him out of her life and prove to him that she can be the strong person that he wants.

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Sirius was glaring at his food. Sam was acting very weird. She also looked like crap. Her hair was stringy, her skin was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. She would refuse to eat and she was snapping at everyone. He knew that it was all his fault but he honestly didn't expect her to act this way.

She was sitting by herself and she wasn't eating again. She looked so sad and small. He wanted to comfort her but he also wished she would just snap out of it already. James was finally okay with their breakup and that he was now with Sarah. He sighed. The boys got up and went to their Charms class.

After their Transfiguration class was over Professor McGonagall stopped James. "Mr. Potter, may I have a word with you?"

"I didn't do it." James automatically replied.

Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched a smile. "You aren't in any trouble…yet. I know that may come as a shock but it is true. Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, I know how you do everything together but this doesn't concern you. Ms. Evans, the same applies to you as well."

Remus, Sirius, and Lily looked at James before waiting outside. Professor McGonagall sat behind her desk with a sigh. "Is there a problem, Professor?" He asked.

She nodded slowly. "The problem is your sister, Potter. She is constantly late, she doesn't turn in her work, she just sits in class with a bored look on her face, and when I talked to her about it, she yelled at me. She has a week worth of detention with me starting tonight. I have spoken to her other professors about her attitude. This is the beginning of her N.E.W.T. years and she shouldn't be messing it up like this. I have arranged tutorial sessions with her professors at your parents' request. Each of her professors has one of their best students volunteering to help Samantha out. I already sent an owl to your parents' but I know how close the two of you are. If you could, speak with her and help her get back on track."

James nodded slowly. "I'll see what I can do, Professor."

Professor McGonagall smiled. "Very good. All the professors, me included, are very concerned. Samantha was sent to the Headmaster after she tripped Professor Flitwick."

James' mouth twitched but he refused to smile or laugh. If he did, he would definitely be in trouble. "That's horrible, Professor."

Professor McGonagall eyed him closely. "Yes, it is."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know why she is acting this way but I'll talk to her. She'll be much better tomorrow."

"Very good. You're free to go."

James quickly left and saw Sirius, Lily, and Remus waiting for him. "What's going on?" Sirius asked.

James took hold of Lily's hand and started walking down the hall. "Professor McGonagall wanted to discuss Sam. It turns out that she hasn't been doing her work, does nothing in class, she is always late, and has an attitude problem. She was sent to Dumbledore after she tripped Professor Flitwick!"

The three of them lightly laughed at that. "Why was she telling you all this? Didn't she owl your parents'?" asked Remus.

James nodded. "She did and they requested that she get tutoring to help her catch up. She is failing all her classes and being a real bitch. I don't know what the hell has gotten into her lately. What the hell is going on with her?"

Sirius looked away. He wasn't stupid enough to answer that question. Lily sighed. "I don't know. You just have to talk to her calmly and rationally."

James looked at her like she was nuts. "Are you serious? Have you actually ever met me? I can't do that! That's why I want all of you to be there when I talk to her."

Sirius inwardly groaned. "Are you sure? You're her brother. Isn't this a family thing?"

James sneered. "Yes, it is. You lot are a part of our family. Lily is her best friend, Remus, she listens to you and Sirius…well…you're family! Look, she's going through something and it's affected her attitude. It's got to stop!"

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San walked back to the common room after her detention with Professor McGonagall. She had to apologize to each of her professors for her behavior. Professor Flitwick was so sweet to her that she kept apologizing to him until he threatened her with a month of detention if she didn't stop. Sam was very confused about her meeting with Professor Dumbledore. He asked so many questions about her dreams but he wouldn't say anything when she asked him why. All he did say was that he would look into it and then he sent her away. He did tell her to try and clear her mind before bed each night but she had no idea what he was talking about.

She walked into the common room and saw James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius staring at her. Professor McGonagall warned her that she spoke to James about her recent behavior but she hoped that he wouldn't bother doing anything. How wrong she was. "Sit down." James said in a voice that resembled a growl.

Sam rolled her eyes and stayed where she was. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "No."

"Come on, Sam. Just sit down." Sirius said with a sigh.

"No, I don't want to."

Remus slightly smiled. "Sammy, please, sit down. We just want to talk."

She sighed and slowly sat down. Sirius stared in disbelief. He couldn't believe that she would listen to Remus and not him. James looked down at his sister and sighed. "What the hell is your bloody problem lately?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "What do you care?"

James groaned. "I care because you are my sister! All your professors took me aside today to talk about you. They are worried about you. We are worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine!"

They rolled their eyes. "Sam, tell us what's going on!"

"James, calm down!" Lily grunted.

"Sam, we are worried about you. You aren't eating, you're failing your classes, and, I'm sorry to say this but, you have been rather unpleasant to be around lately. Talk to us." Remus said slowly.

Sam stared at them closely. "What do you want from me? Just because I'm not acting like good little Samantha anymore, you lot freak out! I'm fine. Everything's great!"

James glared at her. "No, you aren't! Mum and Dad requested that you get tutoring with each of your professors and we are going to make sure that you are going to each and every single one of them!"

"No, I won't!"

"Yes, you will!"

"I can catch up on my own!"

James had enough. He was sick of her attitude. "You are going and that's final!"

Sam stood up and got in his face. "No, I won't! You can't make me!"

She pushed James out of the way and she was surprised when he tackled her to the ground. She was face down on the ground and he held her arm at a weird angle. She winced in pan and tried to get him off her. Sirius and Remus went to help her out but Lily stopped them. "Don't do a thing. This has been a long time coming. They need to get this over with."

Sam kicked James in the back and he fell off her. She jumped on him and held him down. They continued to wrestle and Lily, Sirius, and Remus stared in amazement. Their fight went on for ten minutes and it looked like Sam was winning until James moved quickly and he was once again on top of her. "You are going and that's final!"

Sam pushed him off of her and they were breathing heavily. "Fine, I'll go!" Sam was left alone with Sirius and she sighed. "I bet you really enjoyed that!"

Sirius sighed. "If it was you and another girl, I'm sure I would have."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You are such a disgusting pig!"

"No, I'm not! You've been acting like a prat lately!"

"What do you care?"

Sirius sneered. "I don't know why I bother! You better go to the tutoring sessions and start acting normal!"

Sam gritted her teeth. "I already said that I would go! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Why should I? It's so much fun bothering you! I'm going to take you to each of those tutoring sessions and make sure you catch up!"

"Don't bother! I don't want you anywhere near me! I said I would go and I will! I don't need you as my babysitter! Don't you have a girlfriend to bother?"

Sam left Sirius alone and he sighed. He knew that she hated him and he deserved it. He just wished that she would just act like her old self again instead of the raving bitch that she has become.

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Sam walked into the potions classroom and was surprised to see Severus there. He looked up and glared at her. "What are you doing here?" She asked quickly.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Professor Slughorn asked me to help one of his problem students. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I didn't expect it to be you."

She sighed. "Well, it is me. If you have a problem with that then you should leave."

He gave her a sneering smile. "You've grown a backbone. So much has changed in two years."

Sam looked at him in surprise. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

Severus slightly blushed and looked away. "Nothing. It doesn't matter. Let's get this over with. I've got my own work to do."

Sam stared at him closely. "I thought that you hated me. That's why I haven't spoken to you." He merely shrugged and continued setting up. "I know what happened between you, James, and Sirius."

Severus stared at her with a mix of shock and anger. "How do you know about that?"

She shrugged. "Everyone knows about it. They did it in a public place. Everyone who was outside after the O.W.L.s saw it happen."

He looked slightly relieved. "Oh, that."

"I want you to know that I defended you to them. Not that you need someone like me to defend you, of course." His mouth twitched a slight smile. "I would have spoken to you but I thought that you didn't want me to bother you."

"That never stopped you before."

She smiled. "I guess you're right about that. If I knew that me not speaking to you would have bothered you so much, I would have spoken to you."

"Who said it bothered me?"

Sam held up her hands in defense. "No one did. Would you mind if I started to speak to you again?"

Severus glanced at her and held in a smile. "You've never given me a choice before. So, why start now?"

They began to work and Sam couldn't believe how easy he was to get along with. She actually missed his snarky humor and she mentally kicked herself for not speaking to him for so long. The hour was over too soon for Sam's liking and she couldn't wait until the next time they had a tutoring session. "So, when can I see you again?" He looked at her in disbelief. "I-I mean, when is our next session?"

She blushed and looked away. He stared at her in amazement but quickly sneered. "I-I think it's tomorrow night after your other sessions."

Sam smiled brightly. "Fantastic. This has been fun, Severus." She helped him clean up and went to leave but stopped to look at him. "If I have any questions before tomorrow night, can I find you? T-To talk about my questions, of course."

He quickly nodded. "If you must." She smiled and they went on their separate ways.

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It was time for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year and Sam's attitude toward James and the rest of them hadn't changed. They noticed that she had been spending a lot of time in the potions classroom and they were glad that she was getting back on track with her studies but they were still concerned. She was sitting by herself at breakfast and seemed to be smiling over at the Slytherin table. They looked over and saw that Severus was slightly smiling at her. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Sirius groaned.

"She doesn't like _him_, does she?" James groaned. "Because I couldn't take it if she did."

Remus and Lily shrugged. "You never know. Stranger things have happened." Lily said.

"Not as strange as that!" Sirius grumbled.

Severus got up and Sam quickly followed him out. "Hey Severus!"

He turned around and stared at her. "Yes?"

She smiled at him. "Are you going to Hogsmeade today?"

He was surprised by her question. "I thought I would. Why do you want to know?"

"Are you going with anyone?" She asked shyly.

"N-No, I'm not. Why do you want to know?"

She shrugged. "I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. If you don't mind, of course?"

He shrugged indifferently. "No matter what I say, I'm sure you would make it happen anyway."

"So, are you saying that it's okay?"

"I guess that I am."

She smiled brightly. "I just need to get my coat and bag. I'll meet you outside, ok?"

Severus shrugged indifferently and when she was gone, he smiled in spite of himself.

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Sam excitedly ran down the stairs and into the common room. Lily stopped her. "Why are you in such a rush?"

She shrugged. "I'm just going to Hogsmeade."

Lily smiled. She hadn't seen Sam so excited about a Hogsmeade trip, or anything for that matter, in some time. "That's great! If you don't mind waiting, you can come with us."

Sam sighed. "Actually, I'm going with Severus. Maybe I'll see you there."

She looked at her in shock. "You're going with him? Why don't you just come with us? We're all going together. James, Remus, Sirius, Patty, Lilac, Peter, Mary, Krista, Sarah, Hannah, and me."

Sam sneered and Lily was amazed by how much she resembled Severus. "Why would I want to go with them?"

"They are your friends!"

"Hannah, Sarah, and Sirius are no friends of mine!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sam, why are you acting this way? I thought you're break up with Sirius was mutual?"

"You would think that! I don't need some filthy little mud-" Sam stopped herself before she said something horrible.

Lily's eyes widened. "Finish your thought! What were you going to call me? Was it a filthy little mudblood? Did your new best friend Severus teach you that?"

Sam sighed. "Lily, I didn't mean it!"

She narrowed her eyes. "Poor little Sammy! She gets dumped and isn't satisfied until everyone she cares about is as miserable as she is! Two weeks have gone by and you are still a raving bitch! No wonder Severus is the only one that can stomach to be around you!"

Sam couldn't breath. She didn't mean what she was going to say but it didn't matter. She was too angry to care. "Severus is better than all of you put together! I don't need you!"

"Fine then! Make him your best friend so I don't have to waste my time with you anymore!"

Sam clenched her teeth and glared at her. "I will! I knew I wouldn't be able to count on you once James got his hooks into you!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You're so smart, why don't you figure it out for yourself?"

The boys walked in laughing but stopped when they saw their angry faces. "What's going on?" James asked slowly.

Lily snarled while glaring at Sam. "Why don't you ask your sister?"

"Shove off, Lily! You don't want to be friends with me anymore? Well, that's just fine! I don't need you! I don't need any of you!" Sam ran out the door and left them staring at each other in confusion.

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Sam and Severus walked around Hogsmeade and they were having a great time together. Severus never knew how much fun she was to be around. He honestly could say that he did miss her always following him around and forcing him into conversations. The past week they spent together working was one of the best weeks of his life. He wasn't sure how long they would spend time together but he didn't care.

They walked into a shop that they never been to before and were completely disgusted when they walked in. Madam Puddifoot's was a place for couples and they were the farthest thing from it. They stared at each other before quickly running out the door. Sam was laughing so hard that it made him laugh. "That was creepy! All that lovey dovey crap! It's sickening!"

He nodded in agreement. "Yes, it was! I never want to go in there again!"

Sam went silent. He looked at her closely. Her face went completely to stone as she looked at something. Severus turned his head and saw her friends walk by. "W-Why don't we go to see the Shrieking Shack?" She said quietly.

Severus nodded and followed her. "Why aren't you with your friends today? Why aren't you with Lily?"

She noticeably stiffened. "Lily and I aren't friends anymore. She has been corrupted by my git of a brother and his moronic friends! So, we decided that it was best to cut ties with one another."

They stood side by side and blushed when their hands brushed against each other. She turned to him and looked at him closely. "Severus, I was wondering if it would be alright with you if I started to spend some time with you outside of our tutoring sessions."

Severus was shocked by this. "I-I suppose there would be a worse way to spend my time."

She slightly smiled. "I'll take that as a yes."

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The group walked around Hogsmeade and was debating about where to go. Everyone noticed how silent Lily was being but didn't want to press her to talk about it. Sirius was looking around and tried his best to ignore Sarah. She was being completely annoying. She kept tugging his arm and giggling like a moron. He stopped walking when he saw something rather disturbing. Sam and Severus ran out of Madam Puddifoot's and they were laughing. He honestly couldn't believe his eyes. James walked into him and he stumbled. "Oi, Padfoot! Why'd you stop?"

Sirius pointed to Sam and everyone stared in disbelief. "They just came out of that place!"

Remus stared dumbly at Severus. "I didn't know he could laugh."

Hannah and Sarah glared at Remus and Sirius. "What's the big deal? Why is it such a big deal that she is with him?" Hannah growled.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "I-It's not a big deal. We were just surprised."

Sirius looked at him incredulously. "Of course it's a big deal! She's with the enemy!"

James nodded in agreement and sighed. "She is doing this to kill me! That's the only logical reason. She wants me to have a stroke of shock and die!"

Lily groaned. "Who cares about her? Let's just enjoy the day and not worry about poor little Sammy for once!"

They stared at her in shock. "You are supposed to be her best friend! What happened between you two?" James yelled.

She glared at him. "We aren't friends anymore! He's corrupted her!"

Lilac looked at her closely. "What happened?"

Lily sighed. "It doesn't matter! Let's just enjoy our day without her around." They continued to walk around and the boys kept glancing back in Sam's direction. They had no idea what happened but knew it must have been really bad if Lily didn't care to be friends with Sam anymore.

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Sam ostracized herself from almost everyone. All she seemed to do was spend time with Severus. He was all she thought about. She was sitting in the common room by herself after one of their tutoring sessions and she was daydreaming about him. She was doodling his initials on a spare piece of parchment and sighed happily. She smiled brightly when she thought of their night together. Nothing happened except the fact that she enjoyed spending time with him. He was very smart and surprisingly sweet. She was surprised when he pulled a chair out for her to sit on. No boy had ever done that for her before but Severus was unlike any boy she had ever met. He didn't expect her to be the sweet and innocent little girl that everyone made her out to be. He made her feel like a woman. A smart and intelligent woman.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Sirius grabbed the parchment she was doodling on away. James and Remus were standing next to him. "Give that back!" She growled.

Sirius slightly smiled. "I just wanted to see what you were writing. What's this? S.S. and S.P.?"

Sirius and Remus paled as James glared at her. "What is the meaning of this?" James yelled.

"Sam, what's going?" Remus asked quietly.

She refused to look at them. "Nothing is going on."

James slammed his fists on the table and she jumped. "Samantha Potter, you better start telling the truth right now!"

Sam glared at him. "I am telling the truth!"

Sirius eyed her closely. "Are you with Snivellus?"

She rolled her eyes. "His name isn't Snivellus! His name is Severus and I'd be very lucky if someone like him wanted to be with someone as pathetic as me!"

They stared at her in shock. "You could do so much better than him! You aren't pathetic enough to go out with him!" James growled.

Sam had tears in her eyes. "He is better than anyone I know!"

Sirius sneered. "She is obviously delusional!"

"I am not!"

James was breathing heavily and glared at her. "You are not to see him anymore! He is not a good person to be spending all you're time with!"

"You sound like Lily!"

James gave her a look. "She's right! He has corrupted you! You are not to see him!"

She stood up and gathered her things. "You can't tell me who to spend my time with! I enjoy being with him! I won't let you take that away!"

Sam left and they stared in shock. "My sister has gone completely nutters!"

"I think we should keep a closer eye on them." Sirius suggested. Remus and James nodded in agreement.

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Severus and Sam were working in silence. They would occasionally smile at each other and blush. Sam was helping him clean up when she tripped and fell into him. He held her up and neither of them moved. They stared at each other closely and she leaned in and kissed him lightly. They broke apart and he stared dumbly at her. "W-What was that?"

She blushed. "That was…I don't know. Did it bother you?"

He quickly shook his head and she slightly smiled. Sam moved in closer to him and kissed him again. Severus didn't pull away but brought her closer. She gently touched his cheek and kissed him deeply. They jumped apart when they heard Sirius' voice. "I think I'm going to be sick!"

Sirius sat casually at one of the tables in the back of the room with his feet resting on the desk. "S-Sirius, what are you doing here?" She asked quickly.

"I came here to make sure that nothing was going on between the two of you. How wrong I was." Sirius stood up and walked quickly to them. "You keep your greasy hands off of her!"

Severus sneered. "What business is it of yours, Black?"

Sirius pushed him and Severus fell to the floor. Sirius jumped on top of him and started punching. "She's my girlfriend that's why it's my business!"

Sam pulled Sirius off of him and blocked Sirius from punching him further. "I am _NOT_ your girlfriend!"

Sirius pushed her out of the way and attacked Severus again. "You never touch her! You never touch her again!"

"Sirius stop! You're hurting him!"

He was pushed aside by her and she bent over Severus. "I don't need your help!" Severus spat out.

Sam looked at him closely. "I know you don't. I want to help."

He let her help him up and he wiped his bloody nose. She touched his cheek gently and Sirius had seen enough. He grabbed her by her arm and started to drag her out of the room but she escaped his grasp and ran over to Severus. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

She kissed him again but it quickly stopped when Sirius grabbed her around the waist and dragged her out of the room. "Severus, don't worry! I'll see you tomorrow!" She yelled as Sirius lifted her up from her waist and dragged her out of the room.

Sam fought Sirius the entire way and he didn't let go until they were in the common room. James and Remus looked up in surprise at them and walked over to them. Sam pushed away from Sirius and slapped him. "Why did you have to do that?"

"What's going on?" James asked cautiously.

"I just found your sister snogging Snivellus!" Sirius growled.

James eyes went wide with anger. "What? I told you to stay away from him!"

"I don't want to! I care about him!"

The boys looked like they were in physical pain. "Sam, you can't be serious." Remus said in a small voice.

Her lip trembled. "I am serious. Why is it so wrong to like him?"

"Because he is pure evil! You are better than this!" James yelled.

"He is special and I care about him! No matter what you say, I'm still going to see him!"

"I can't deal with this right now. I can't believe how stupid you are! He doesn't care about you!" James and Remus walked up to their room.

Sam sighed. "He does care about me!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, he doesn't!"

She glared at him. "He won't anymore after what you did!"

Sirius got in her face and sneered. "Then I did the right thing after all!"

She made to slap him but he grabbed her arm and kissed her. She pulled away from him and her chin started to tremble. "Why do you have to ruin everything?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You ruin every relationship I'm in! The one I had with Patrick, Remus, and the one I had with you! You ruin everything! I won't let you ruin this! I won't let you!"

She ran up to her room and he sighed. "I'm sorry."

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No one but Remus and her dorm mates were talking to Sam. She was still hanging around with Severus and the whole school was shocked by this latest development. They were seen walking down the halls and they were inseparable. This seemed to be the only topic of conversation. Even the Slytherin's were shocked by this.

They worked together every night and they even hung out in the library together. They sat side by side as people gawked in their direction. Sam didn't care what people thought. She just wanted to be around him. She slid her hand onto his knee and rubbed it gently. He slightly smiled at her and blushed. Sirius was bent awkwardly in his chair and narrowed his eyes when he saw her rub his knee. "I can't believe it!"

"What is it?" James asked in a bored voice.

"She's rubbing his knee!" Sirius grunted.

Remus looked over and felt sick. "He's blushing! I didn't know he could do that!"

"Would you two stop staring? She's only doing that for attention!" James growled.

Severus slid his hand under the table and held her hand. They shared a smile and continued their work. "He is holding her hand and smiling!" Sirius groaned.

James looked sick. "I didn't know he could do that!"

Remus shook his head in disbelief. He knew that he had no right to be jealous but he couldn't help it. When she was with Sirius, it only bothered him slightly but he knew it was only a matter of time before they got together. Now that she was with Severus, jealousy overtook him. He glanced at Sirius and he knew he felt the same way he did. "We have to do something about this." Sirius grunted.

"What are we supposed to do?" Remus asked.

"I don't know but we have to do something! She can't really care for him!" Sirius said while glaring at the pair.

James sneered. "We aren't going to do anything. She thinks she knows him, then fine! Let her learn the hard way about him." With that he got up and left. He didn't see Sam look at him longingly before looking back at Severus with a smile. Sirius did catch it though and he thought there was a glimmer of hope after all.


	32. Chapter 31: Numb

Author's Note: This chapter has some stuff in it that most people won't like so close out of here if you are prudish. Also, Coldplay's "Fix You" lyrics is the song used in the last scene. Enjoy!

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Chapter 31: Numb.

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"Hey Sam! Wait up!"

Sam stopped walking and turned around. Michael was running up to her and she looked at him cautiously. "Hello Michael." She said slowly.

He smiled at her and gave her a quick hug. "How are you?"

She slightly smiled. "I'm alright. How about yourself?"

"I'm good. It feels like I haven't seen you in months! I'm sorry about that but I've been so busy lately. This year has been so crazy and it's only begun."

She nodded. "It's alright, Michael. I understand."

Michael stared at her closely. "Are you sure that you are alright? I've been hearing these weird stories about you."

Sam sighed. "What have you heard?"

"That Sirius broke up with you and you are now dating Snape. Also, that you aren't friends with Lily anymore."

She slightly smiled. "Sirius did break up with me. Lily and I decided it was best to cut ties. And, Severus and I are just friends. Actually, I don't know what we are but I enjoy spending time with him."

Michael stared at her in shock. "Do you really?"

Sam laughed lightly. "I do. He isn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be."

He shrugged. "If you say so. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind if we could spend some time together. I miss you, Sam. I miss being your friend."

She smiled brightly and hugged him tightly. "I missed you too, Michael. I really need someone as a friend. Lily and I aren't speaking. Hell, no one is speaking to me. I need someone around that really knows me like you do."

Michael blushed and kissed her cheek. "I'll always be there for you, Sammy. You don't have to ever worry about that." They walked arm in arm down the hall and didn't see Severus glaring at them.

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Michael sighed. He waited in the library for them and was growing very impatient. They walked in and he rolled his eyes. "It took you two long enough to get here!"

Remus and Sirius sat down across from him and glared. "We got here as fast as we could. What did you find out?" Sirius sneered at him. He didn't want to do this but he had no other choice.

Michael glared right back at them. "Nothing is going on between them. They are just friends. The kiss was just an accident. She seems to miss you lot for some reason but she won't give in and apologize. She absolutely refuses."

Remus sighed. "Why not? If she misses us then why won't she apologize?"

He rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? For some reason, she cares about Snape. She wants to be his friend but I think it's just a rebound crush. It won't last long."

Sirius sighed happily. "That's good to know. What else did you find out?"

Michael looked away from them. He didn't want to betray Sam's trust but he was really worried about her. She wasn't taking care of herself and Snape was not someone she should be spending her time with. He told her the truth about missing her and being busy. When he heard the rumors about her being with Severus and not speaking to most of her friends anymore and when Remus and Sirius practically begged him to keep a close eye on her, he knew that they were desperate and he had to help. "They've only kissed once and rarely hold hands. They just talk and work on potions together. That's all I found out."

Remus didn't like Michael but he appreciated his help. "Thank you, Michael. We were just worried about her." Michael nodded and left.

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Sam and Severus were working in silence. He was acting strangely and she didn't know why. Every time she tried to start a conversation, he would sneer and roll his eyes. Sam sighed and looked at him closely. "Severus, what's wrong? Did I do something to offend you?"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about. Everything is fine."

Sam groaned. "Don't lie to me! I spend time with you because I thought you were different. You are the same as every guy I know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're playing games with me! I'm not going to take it! Find me when you are back to normal!"

She walked away but he stopped her. She leaned against the wall and stared at him. "I'm not playing games. You are!"

"No, I'm not! Why would you think that?"

"I saw you all over that Lewis prat!"

Sam smiled. "You're jealous!"

He glared at her when she laughed. "I-I'm not jealous!"

She continued to smile. "Yes, you are! What an interesting development! I thought I'd never see the day when Severus Snape would be jealous of someone!"

"I'm not jealous! Why should I be?"

"Because you like me! You really like me!"

He sneered when he heard her say that in a singsong voice. "I do not! Why would I?"

Sam kissed him. "It's okay. You can like me. I like you too."

Severus blushed slightly. "Y-You do? Why?"

She rolled her eyes. "Isn't it obvious? You are unlike anyone I've ever met. You are such a beautiful person. I see something in you that I've never seen in anyone before. I don't know what it is but I like it. I know you don't love me and never will and that's okay. I enjoy spending time with you and feel honored to be your friend."

He slightly smiled. "You are okay with the fact that I don't love you?"

She nodded. "I am. I don't love you either but I still want to be around you. I like being around you and I like kissing you. I don't need someone to love me so, you don't have to worry."

Severus smiled and she kissed him again. Sam pulled him closely to her and was pressed against the wall. He put his arms around her and she sighed happily. She moved one of his hands to her breast and moved the other hand up in between her thighs. "W-What are you doing?" He asked while looking at her in surprise.

"I'm enjoying spending time with you."

She slid his hand further up her thigh and smiled when he sighed. She opened her shirt slightly and guided his hand in. He massaged her breast while she clutched his arm as it clenched. Severus' tongue slid into her mouth and she moved her hand down his pants. He shuddered as her hand touched him. He kissed her neck as she let out a gasp of pleasure. All thoughts left her mind as they continued. Her nails dug into his arm and he let out shaky breath. They quickly separated when they heard someone come near the room. They straightened themselves up and started to clean up. Professor Slughorn walked in and beamed at them. "Are you two still at it?"

They blushed and quickly nodded. "Yes sir, we are." Severus muttered.

Professor Slughorn smiled. "Very good! It's almost ten! You two should go back to your common rooms now. You can continue your work some other time." They nodded and packed up their belongings. "Samantha, I am very impressed by your progress. I'm not sure you need anymore tutoring. You seem to be a head of the rest of your class. I knew Severus was the right choice."

Sam slightly smiled. "Thank you, sir. You're right, he was the right choice."

They left and Severus kissed her quickly. "Goodnight Samantha."

She gave him an awkward smile. "Goodnight Severus."

Sam walked back to the common room and went up to her room. She got changed and laid down on her bed in the fetal position. Her legs were clenched together and she silently cried.

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Sam kept having those dreams. They were coming almost every night and they kept getting worse. She rarely went to sleep anymore because she was scared of her dreams. Professor Dumbledore told her to clear her mind but she didn't know how. He also said to come to him if the dreams persisted. She didn't want to bother him over some useless dreams. She sighed as she stared out of the window and looked at the night sky. Sam had no idea what was wrong with her lately. Everything seemed to be falling apart. She didn't speak to most of her friends, Lily hated her, and what she did with Severus…she felt sick to her stomach when she thought about it. She couldn't believe that she actually did those things with him. She had no idea what was happening.

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by Remus. He stalked in and threw his bag down on the table. He sat down and ran his hands roughly over his face. "Remus, is everything alright?"

He jumped at the sound of her voice. "Sam, what are you doing down here in the dark?"

"I couldn't sleep. What's the matter?"

Remus sighed and sat down next to her. "Hannah just broke up with me."

Sam looked at him in shock. "W-Why?"

He looked away from her. "We were up on the astronomy tower and we were kissing. Things seemed to be going well and then she said she loved me. I decided it was time to tell her the truth."

She gasped. "You didn't! What did she say?"

Remus had tears in his eyes. "She slapped me and called me a disgusting freak. She said that she couldn't believe how she wasted all this time with me. Then she broke up with me."

Sam held him as he cried. "I can't believe she would do that to you."

He groaned. "I-I can't believe I trusted her enough to tell her. I knew I shouldn't have but I thought she deserved to know the truth."

She caressed his cheek and forced him to look at her. "Don't worry about it. It will be alright."

Remus stared at her and he looked so pathetic. She only saw him look that way once before. The night they broke up. "How can you say that? What if she tells everyone? They'll kick me out!"

Sam smiled gently at him. "You won't be thrown out. Everything will be fine. Professor Dumbledore won't let them through you out. I'll handle Hannah. You don't need to worry."

Remus pulled her closer and briefly kissed her. "I should have never cheated on you. I should have never been with her."

She held him to her. "We all have things that we shouldn't have done. You don't need to worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything."

"What are you going to do?"

"Hannah and I are going to have a long overdue chat."

He nodded and she cradled him in her arms and kissed his forehead. They laid down and she rubbed his back and they soon fell fast asleep. Sirius walked in and sighed. He had just spent the entire night with Sarah and he could honestly say that she got more annoying with each passing day. He stopped short when he saw Sam and Remus on top of each other, fast asleep. He felt a surge of rage rise in his stomach. Sirius walked over to them and shook Sam until she woke up. "Sirius, what's going?" She asked in a whisper.

He looked down at her and was surprised by how small she looked. "What are you doing with him like that?"

She sighed. "He told Hannah his secret and she broke up with him. I was just comforting him."

Sirius sat down across from her and sighed. "How is he doing?"

Sam slightly shrugged. It was hard to move with Remus on top of her. She didn't mind it though. She actually missed being this close to him. "Remus was very upset but I calmed him down some. I'm going to have a little chat with Hannah tomorrow. She had the nerve to call him a disgusting freak. I'm going to make sure that she keeps her fat mouth shut."

Sirius smiled. "It's good to see the old Sammy again."

Her face fell and looked away from him. "This isn't about me. My only concern has been and always will be protecting Remus."

He stared at her closely. "I'm surprised he even talks to you after what you did to him."

"What?" She didn't understand what he was talking about. They seemed to be having a nice chat and then he all of a sudden changed moods.

"He never would have been with her if you didn't cheat on him! He never would have told her if it wasn't for you!" Sam looked completely devastated. Sirius didn't know why he said that. They were having a nice little chat but she just made him so angry sometimes. He hated seeing Remus on top of Sam and he could have sworn that he saw a hickey on her neck. And the fact that someone had hurt one of his best friends didn't help his mood. He was just so angry and jealous that he couldn't take it. Sirius sighed when he looked at her. "Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

She stared at him and the look she gave him broke his heart. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "Save it, Sirius. It doesn't matter. But you should know that you're right. If we didn't break up, a lot of crap that happened wouldn't have happened. We all have regrets that we live with and breaking up with Remus is one of mine."

Sirius understood her meaning and he gritted his teeth. "You regret everything? You regret being with me?"

She nodded. "I do."

"Do you regret hurting Lily and spending all of your time with that greasy git who doesn't deserve to even look at you?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "We shouldn't be discussing this. Go to bed and I'll take care of Remus."

He groaned. "I'll wake him up. You go to bed."

"That's going to be hard. He's on top of me and I think it would be better if he woke up and I was the only one here."

Sirius sighed and nodded. He walked up the stairs and she shook Remus when they were finally alone. Remus stirred and she smiled at him when he opened his eyes. "I think it's time to go to bed."

He sat up and helped her up. "Thank you, Sam."

"It was nothing. You are always there for me; it's only fair that I'm there for you. I just want you to be okay."

Remus hugged her tightly. "I love you, Sam."

She touched his cheek. "I love you too, Remus. I'd do anything to make you feel better."

Remus kissed her lightly. He pulled her close to him and deepened the kiss. She leaned into him and for the first time in weeks, she felt safe. "I'll talk care of Hannah. You don't have to worry."

He smiled. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do. I think we need to have a little chat." Remus laughed and hugged her once more before they went to bed.

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Sam woke up and smiled to herself. Today was the day she was going to talk to Hannah and Sam was happy to have a purpose again. She waited outside the Hufflepuff portrait hole and smiled brightly when Hannah and her friends walked out. "Oh Hannah! Can I talk to you for a moment?" Sam asked sweetly.

Hannah sneered at her and walked away. "I don't have anything to say to you!"

Sam grabbed her arm and glared at her. "Oh but I think you do."

Hannah's friends stared at Sam but Hannah told them to go. "What do you want, Potter?"

She smirked. "I want to talk about Remus."

"I don't want to talk about that disgusting lying freak!"

Sam's lips thinned into a tight line and she pushed Hannah against the wall. "Don't you ever say that about him again!"

Her eyes widened but she glared at her. "I'm only saying the truth! For almost a year he has lied to me! He hurt me and I'm going to make him pay for making me fall in love with him!"

She laughed. "I never realized how stupid you are, Hannah. Remus is one of the greatest people here. He had someone attack him and ruin his life when he was just a child! He has enough to deal with! Why do you want to torture him for something he can't control?"

Hannah looked away and didn't answer until Sam slammed her fist into the wall right by her head. "He deserves it! He lied to me! He betrayed my trust!"

Sam smiled. "That's funny coming from someone who did the same exact thing to someone she claimed to love."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"You cheated with Remus. You broke Chris' heart. He loved you but you didn't care! Is this a pattern with you? Get what you want and then break the hearts of the people who love you?"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "If I knew what he was, I would have never gone near him! This is all your fault, you know! If you would have kept him happy, he wouldn't have come after me!"

"I think you have your history wrong. You went after him. You were lucky enough to catch him on an off night!"

"Why do you care so much about him? He cheated on you and left!"

Sam shook her head. "You just don't get it, do you? Remus means a lot to me. I'd do anything to protect him! I'd even kill you!"

Hannah's eyes widened in fear. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me! I know the Unforgivable Curses, Hannah! I don't mind going to Azkaban for killing you! I've dreamt about it many times."

"You're crazy!"

Sam let out a cruel laugh. "That may be true but I don't care! If you tell anyone about what he told you, you'll see how crazy I can be!"

"I told my friends."

She gritted her teeth. "How could you? He trusted you!"

Hannah shrugged. "It was easy. What are you going to do about it now?"

Sam glared at her. "Don't worry, I'll make you pay. If you and your little friends tell anyone, you'll regret it!"

Hannah had fears in her eyes and quickly left. Sam went to the Great Hall and sighed when she saw Remus. He walked up to her and slightly smiled. "How'd it go?"

Sam gave him a pained expression. "She told her friends. Don't worry, I'm handling it. I'll just talk to Dumbledore. He'll know what to do."

Remus groaned. "Dumbledore doesn't know that you know. Why did I have to tell her?"

She hugged him tightly. He held her close and sighed. "Remus, don't worry. You thought you could trust her. You made a mistake. We all do. Professor Dumbledore will understand."

"When do you think I should talk to him?"

He looked so scared and it broke her heart. She caressed his cheek and gave him a quick kiss. "We'll talk with him after breakfast. Everything will be fine."

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Sam and Remus waited outside the statue to Professor Dumbledore's office before classes were over. Sam caught Professor Dumbledore after breakfast and begged to talk with him before classes. She quickly tried to explain the situation but he said that he needed more details and made them wait for him in front of the statue. "He is going to be so angry!" Remus muttered.

Sam smiled encouragingly at him. "So what if he is? He can't turn back time and he can't change what happened."

"Ms. Potter is absolutely right." They jumped and turned. Professor Dumbledore smiled at them and escorted them to his office. "Samantha tells me there is some sort of emergency."

Remus started to stutter his words and Sam held his hand. "Sir, Remus told Hannah Benjamin about his condition. She called him a freak and told her friends. We are worried that she will tell the whole school and that Remus will be thrown out."

Professor Dumbledore eyed them closely. "How do you know about his condition, Samantha?"

Sam sighed. "He told me in my second year. Don't worry sir, I never told anyone. I was the only one that knew until Hannah, that is. We were hoping that you could help."

He nodded. "Mr. Lupin, you know that when I let you into this school that it was understood that we keep your condition a secret."

Remus looked at the ground and sighed. "I know, sir. I'm sorry but I knew I could trust Sam. I thought that I could trust Hannah."

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Remus and Sam waited outside while Professor Dumbledore met with Hannah and her friends. Sam hugged him tightly. "He'll fix this."

He nodded and sighed. "I know but he trusted me. He must be so disappointed in me."

"I am not disappointed in you, Remus." They jumped apart and Professor Dumbledore smiled. "I'm sorry to keep startling you."

Sam nervously smiled. "It's not a problem, sir. How'd it go?"

He sighed. "Ms. Benjamin refused to see reason. I'm regrettably going to have to modify their minds."

Remus groaned. "I'm so sorry, sir. I never meant for this to happen."

Professor Dumbledore smiled gently at him. "It's alright, Mr. Lupin. I understand why you thought you could trust her. We all make mistakes."

Sam stared at Dumbledore and smiled. "Sir?"

"Yes, Ms. Potter?"

"When you modify their minds, what are they going to believe happened?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I do not know. Have you any ideas?"

"Remus, do you still want to be with Hannah?" She asked quickly.

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Professor, my reputation hasn't been…great lately. So, I don't mind if you make them believe that I was the reason they broke up."

Remus gasped. "Sam no! Don't do this!"

She smiled at him. "I want to. Please, let me do this."

"Ms. Potter, are you sure about this?" asked Dumbledore.

Sam nodded. "I'm completely sure, sir. Just blame the whole thing on me."

Dumbledore sighed and nodded. He turned but stopped. "Samantha, did you threaten Ms. Benjamin with one of the Unforgivable Curses?"

Her eyes went wide and innocent. "Of course not, sir! I would never do that!"

Dumbledore eyed her closely before reluctantly nodding. When he was gone, Remus turned to her in shock. "Did you really threaten her?"

Sam blushed. "Maybe I did just a little bit. She was calling you all these horrible names and I snapped. I was just trying to protect you."

He sighed. "You shouldn't have done that! You could have gotten in serious trouble!"

She held his hand tightly. "Do you remember when I told you that I would do anything to protect you?"

Remus nodded and softly smiled. "The night of our first Valentine's Day together."

Sam smiled. "That's right. I meant what I said. Even though we aren't together anymore, I still want to protect you. I keep my promises, Remus. I love you and will always do everything in my power to protect you from being hurt."

They hugged. "I'd do anything to protect you too, Sam."

She smiled. "I know."

They continued to hold each other and when Hannah and her friends walked out, they glared at each other. "Slut." Hannah muttered.

Sam smirked. "What goes around comes around, sweetie!"

Professor Dumbledore called them in from his office. They walked in together and sat down. "Mr. Lupin, I hope you are careful with who you trust to tell about you condition from now on." Remus nodded slowly. "You should be very grateful that Ms. Potter was so selfless to help you."

"I am, sir."

He nodded. "You may go back to your classes now. I have to speak with Ms. Potter." Remus quickly nodded and smiled at Sam when he left. "Have you had anymore dreams?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir. I have."

"Why haven't you come to me?"

She slightly shrugged. "Because I didn't think it was a big deal."

Dumbledore sighed. "Samantha, we discussed this. Tell me about your dreams."

"Why do my dreams interest you so much, sir?"

"You remember when I said I would look into your dreams?" She nodded. "I found out why you have been having them."

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The rumor spread around the school like wildfire. Sam tempted Remus away from Hannah and Hannah was so bitter that she would say anything about them to tarnish their name. Sam didn't care what people were saying. She helped her friend in his time of need and that's all that mattered to her.

Remus and Sam walked side by side down the hall and she rolled her eyes as people stared and whispered. Remus smiled apologetically at her and she winked at him. "I'm sorry about all of this. Are you sure that you're okay with all this?"

Sam nodded. "They can think what they want about me. All I care about is you."

He hugged her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Thank you, Sam. I owe you big!"

She laughed. "You could pay me back now."

Remus eyed her closely and smiled. "How?"

Sam was practically giddy. "Can we make out in front of Hannah? That would kill her!"

"Isn't that a little cruel?"

"Isn't what she was planning to do to you cruel?"

He nodded. "You're right. Let's go!"

Remus grabbed her and they ran off towards the Hufflepuff portrait hole entrance. They waited and hugged each other. "S-Should we practice? We haven't kissed each other in that way in awhile." Remus said while blushing.

Sam smiled. "I'm sure we'll remember how but we can practice if you want."

They leaned in and shared an awkward kiss. They started to laugh and kissed again. They stopped and smiled at each other. "It's just like before." Remus said in a sigh.

"Is that a bad thing?"

He looked at her closely and shook his head. "No, it's wonderful." Remus saw Hannah and grabbed Sam. She let out a giggle and wrapped her arms around his neck and they began to kiss. They heard Hannah growl in anger and left but they didn't seem to care. Remus deepened the kiss and held onto her tightly. He pushed her against the wall and massaged her neck. Remus rested his forehead on hers and smiled. "We still got it."

Sam laughed. "That we do."

He briefly kissed her and she sighed happily. "I don't deserve this from you. After everything that happened between us and you still want to help me. I don't deserve it."

She touched his cheek. "You deserve better. Remus, you are a great guy and I'm honored that I got to be with you for as long as I did. I'd do anything for you. I love you very much."

"I love you too."

Remus held her face in his hands and kissed her softly. Sam leaned into him and sighed. "This is the first time in a long time that I felt safe. You always made me feel safe." He smiled and they kissed again. They didn't realize that they were being watched.

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Severus was sitting in the Slytherin common room doing his work. He was completely absorbed in his books that he didn't realize that Lucius Malfoy was sitting across from him and smiling like a cat that just ate the canary. "Hello Snivellus."

He looked up and sneered. "What do you want, Malfoy?"

Lucius' smile grew. "I was just wondering how things were going between you and that mudblood loving girlfriend of yours?"

Severus gritted his teeth. "She is NOT my girlfriend!"

He laughed. "What shocking news? Severus Snape doesn't have a girlfriend! I better owl the Daily Prophet with this breaking development."

"Leave him alone, Lucius." Narcissa said as she sat down next to Lucius and stared at her nails while looking rather bored.

Lucius sneered. "Why should I? He has been parading around the entire school with that blood traitor for the past couple of weeks. He is becoming a disgrace."

Severus glared at him. "I have not been parading around with anyone! I am being forced to tutor her, that's all!"

Lucius eyed him closely. "Then you don't mind what everyone is saying about her?"

"What are you talking about?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "It's been all over the school! How don't you know?" He shrugged. "Rumor has it that Saint Potter slept with that ex of hers. She did it to get back at Hannah Benjamin for stealing him away. I honestly have no idea why they would fight over someone like him. He is just one of those annoying mix breeds that fill the halls."

"That's preposterous! She wouldn't do that!"

Lucius and Narcissa stared at him in shock. "Oh, is it? Are you upset that you're blood traitor of a girlfriend cheated on you with that piece of trash?" Lucius said with a sneering smile.

"Lucius, leave him alone. He says he isn't with her. Why can't you just drop it?"

"Because I'm having fun. I find it very interesting that he says that he isn't with her but it obviously bothers him that she was with someone else."

Severus packed up his things and rolled his eyes. "It doesn't bother me! I don't care what she does! She follows me around!"

"And you seem to enjoy her doing that." Narcissa said eyeing him closely.

He looked away from them. "No, I don't! She will get tired of it eventually and she'll stop soon enough!" He left them and Narcissa stared at his retreating form in confusion.

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Severus walked aimlessly around the castle. He was beyond angry. He knew that they didn't love each other but he never thought she would do something like that. How could she sleep with that dimwitted Lupin after what they did? He honestly didn't understand her. She was utterly confusing. One minute, she is complaining about her annoying git of a brother and her friends turning against her. Then, she goes around trying to help them. First, she wants to be his friend and then they did what they did.

He walked past the Hufflepuff portrait hole and couldn't believe his eyes. Sam and Remus were against the wall, kissing. Severus' nostrils flared and he gritted his teeth. They rested their foreheads against each other and sighed. "This is the first time in a long time that I felt safe. You always make me feel safe." Severus heard her say before they kissed again. He was fuming as he stalked away.

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Severus and Sam were working side by side in silence. He was still angry about the rumors and what he saw. She was still feeling awkward about what they did together. Sam rolled her eyes when she noticed him glancing at her for the twelfth time. "What the bloody hell is your problem tonight?"

Severus sneered at her. "I have no problem. You must be imagining it."

She sighed. "Liar. Severus, talk to me."

"I have nothing to say."

Sam gritted her teeth. "You are just like the lot of them. Playing games for the sake of playing games."

"I am not playing games."

"Yes, you are! Why are you acting this way?"

"I am acting normal. You are imagining things."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. When you finally decide to tell me what your problem is, come and find me."

She packed up her things and was at the door when he spoke. "Are you with Lupin?"

She turned to face him. "What?"

He rolled his eyes. "I said, are you with Lupin?"

"No, I'm not with anyone."

"Then why were you all over him today?"

"Were you spying on me?"

Severus gritted his teeth. "It was hard to miss! I saw you with him today!"

Sam shrugged. "So what if I was?"

"Do you normally whore yourself around with whoever is available?"

She paled. He just had to say the one word that she hated most. "I am NOT a whore!"

He let out a cruel laugh. "Yes, you are. One moment you have your hands down my pants and then next you are with that moron!"

"No, I'm not! Remus needed my help and I gave it to him. Nothing more, nothing less! Why does that bother you?"

"Did you think that I needed your help?"

"What are you going on about?"

Severus glared at her. "The reason you kissed me. Did you think I needed your help?"

Sam sighed. "I kissed you because I wanted to. Is this about those rumors?" He didn't say a word. "I started those rumors, Severus!"

He was shocked. "Why would you do something like that?"

"She hurt him! She broke his heart and he didn't know what to do. So, I started those rumors to get back at her. He had no idea I did it until I told him so. What you saw was revenge, not reconciliation."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because it's the truth! I haven't lied to you or led you on. I'm free to do as I please with whomever I choose!" Sam kissed him. He deepened the kiss and they began to make out. Severus was being rather forceful. He still had the image of them kissing in his mind. He grabbed at her roughly and she pushed him away. "That hurts!" She grunted.

He continued to kiss her and he jammed his hand up her skirt. "If you don't like it, make me stop."

She closed her eyes as his fingers found a familiar place. Sam held onto him and bit her lip. She couldn't believe she was letting this happen again. She wanted to stop but she also didn't. He kissed her hard and she moaned in his mouth.

* * *

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* * *

Sam walked back to the common room in shock. She did it again. She let it happen again. She felt the bruises on her arm from where he grabbed her and let out a shaky sigh. She didn't know what was wrong with her lately. Sam liked Severus but every time they did what they did, she felt disgusted with herself. She entered the common room and Remus stopped her. "Are you ok?" He asked gently.

She was so angry with herself. She hated what she was becoming but didn't know how to stop. "I'm fine." She muttered.

He grabbed her arm and she winced. He pushed up her sleeve and saw the bruises. "Who did this to you?" He demanded.

Sam pulled her arm away from him. "No one did anything to me. I said I was fine. Just leave it at that."

"Sam, what's going on?"

"Leave me alone, Remus."

She started to walk away but he blocked her. "Not until you tell me what's going on!"

Sam glared at him. "I said, leave me alone!"

People were staring at them. "You can talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Remus said in a desperate voice.

She was fuming. She didn't know what came over her but what she did, she would always regret. "I don't need to talk to a disgusting freak like you! Leave me alone!"

He let her go. He wouldn't even look at her. She quickly walked past him but was stopped by Chris. "Sam, what the hell is wrong with you lately?"

Sirius and James walked in. Sam sighed. Sirius looked at her in disgust at the sight of her with Chris. "Don't talk to me! I don't need you! It's all your fault Sirius broke up with me! If I wasn't friends with you, we would still be together!"

Chris looked completely shocked. "Fine, be that way! We aren't friends anymore then! Go spend all your time with that loser Snape! You'll be lucky if you have any friends left by the end of the year with the way you've been acting lately!"

Sam ran to her room and sighed. "What the hell is wrong with me?" She muttered. She put her wand to her temple and began clearing her mind like Professor Dumbledore taught her. She sighed as she stared at her pensieves. She looked at it closely and went in. She followed herself and Sirius to the astronomy tower and watched closely. She cried as she relived their breakup.

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* * *

Chris was fuming. He had no idea why Sam was acting like such a bitch lately and to blame her breakup with Sirius on him was completely crazy. He was so confused and angry with her that he didn't know what to do. He saw Sirius and Remus sitting across the room as James walked past him. Chris stormed over to them and glared. They looked up and Sirius rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Anderson?"

"This is all your fault!"

Sirius smirked at Remus. "I honestly never get tired of hearing that." Remus lightly laughed and Sirius turned to Chris. "Now, tell me, what is all my fault this time?"

Chris' face twisted in anger. "She doesn't want to be friends with me anymore! She said I was the reason why you two broke up! This is all your fault!"

Sirius stood up and got into his face. "Well, you're the reason she broke up with Moony! If you would have kept your hands to yourself, she would still be with him and Hannah wouldn't have hurt him!"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? Nothing happened between us until after she broke up with him!"

Remus stood up and stared between them. "Sirius, what you talking about? Why would you think that Sam cheated on me?"

Sirius looked at him and sighed. "It's okay, mate. Sam told me everything."

Remus closed his eyes and sighed. "She lied to you."

Chris nodded. "He's right. Why don't you tell him the truth, Remus?"

Sirius stared at them in disbelief. "Sam wouldn't lie to me!"

Remus shook his head. "Yes, she did. She lied to protect me."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Sirius yelled.

"That's what I'd like to know."

They looked over and saw James and Lily staring at them expectantly. "What's going on?" Lily asked.

Remus sighed and sat down. They sat down around him and waited for him to speak. "Sam lied to you about our breakup. She didn't cheat on me. I cheated on her."

Lily groaned. "Remus, don't do this!"

James looked at her in shock. "Wait! You knew about this and didn't tell me? Why?"

She sighed. "This was before we got together! Sam didn't want you to hate him. She was trying to protect him!"

Remus sighed. "Last year, we thought that she was pregnant. I got drunk and cheated on her with Hannah. Sam found us together and she stayed with me anyway. She broke up with me at the Christmas ball because she knew that I wanted to be with Hannah."

Chris cleared his throat and they looked at him. "I still don't understand why this caused Sirius to break up with her."

Sirius was still in shock about Remus' confession. He couldn't believe she was actually telling the truth. He noticed them staring at him. "What?" He asked innocently.

James rolled his eyes. "We're waiting for you to tell us why you broke up with my sister, Padfoot."

He sighed and looked away from their stares. "I may have cheated on her too."

They gasped in shock. James was beyond angry. His two best friends that he trusted to treat his little sister right both broke her heart. "You _may have_ cheated on her? Either you did or you didn't! Which is it?"

Sirius glanced at them. "I did cheat on her."

James turned to Lily. "Did you know about this?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I didn't. In case you haven't noticed, Sam and I aren't exactly speaking to each other right now."

"I still don't understand why it was my fault that you two broke up!" Chris growled.

Sirius glared at him while James glared at Sirius. "He has a point, Sirius."

"I may have…" Sirius saw the look they gave him and he sighed. "Ok, I mentioned that if she didn't cheat on Remus with Chris that I wouldn't have cheated on her."

Lily closed her eyes and groaned. "Sirius, you didn't!"

He nodded slowly. "I did. I'm sorry. I didn't know the truth. She lied to me about it!"

James gritted his teeth. "So that makes it ok? She tried to protect Remus and you say that to her? What else happened that we should know about?"

Sirius grimaced. Remus sighed. "What else did you say to her?"

He quickly told him an altered version of everything that happened and they looked at him in disgust. Chris stood up and walked away while muttering. "That's really pathetic!"

James stared at his two so-called best friends in disbelief. "I trusted you two with her!" They jumped when he yelled. "How could you do and say those things to her? She loved you both and you did that to her?"

Lily shook her head slowly. "No wonder she has been acting this way lately. She must be so heart broken!"

Sirius and Remus looked down in shame. "I-I thought she forgave me but after what she said to me, I don't think she has. Maybe I deserved it." Remus muttered.

Sirius shook his head. "No one deserves that, mate."

"I can't believe this! My sister was a sweet, kind, loving, and _innocent _person before she met the two of you! This is all your fault! The person that walks around pretending to be her is there because of you two!" yelled James.

"Mate, I'm sorry." Sirius sighed.

"I'm not your mate! You did this to her and you're going to fix this! When my real sister comes back, maybe I'll forgive you!" James growled. He and Lily walked away.

Sirius and Remus felt like shit. They knew that James was right but they didn't know how to fix things. "I've made a real mess of things." Sirius muttered.

"We both did, mate. How do we fix this?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know."

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* * *

Sam noticed that Lily and James were staring at her rather closely the next day at breakfast. She didn't know why they were doing it but wished they would stop. Her friends sat next to her and slightly smiled. "Sam, are you feeling alright?" Alice asked carefully.

She slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Do you lot know why Lily and James are staring at me?"

They shook their heads. "No, we don't." Lilac said.

Patty eyed her closely and Sam laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She saw that they were all staring at her. "No, seriously, why are you all staring at me?"

Mary bit her lip. "We heard you this morning in the bathroom. We heard you throwing up."

Patty nodded. "We are just concerned. Are you sick?"

Sam shrugged. "No, I'm not."

"How long has this been going?" asked Alice.

She sighed. "Two weeks but I swear that I'm fine!"

Sam quickly got up and walked back to the common room and inwardly groaned when they followed her. They dragged her up to their room and sat her down. "Two weeks! This has been going on for that long and you didn't say anything? Why?" Lilac growled.

She shrugged. "It didn't seem all that important."

Patty rolled her eyes. "That's bullshit and you know it! You've told us everything else! Why didn't you tell us about this?"

Sam wouldn't look at them. "I haven't exactly told you everything."

Alice sneered. "You aren't having sex with Snape now, are you?"

She laughed. "No, I'm not."

Mary sat down next to her. "Then what haven't you told this?"

Sam took a box that was identical to the one she gave to Sirius in his first year for Christmas out and opened it. They looked inside and had no idea what it was. "These are my pensieves. Dumbledore told me to clear my mind at night so the dreams would stop. I have been going into them every night after I leave Severus. I have been reliving my breakups with Remus and Sirius."

"Why have you been doing that?" Lilac asked in a quiet voice.

She started to cry and they hugged her tightly. "I just feel so numb lately. It's like the only time I feel anything anymore is when I relive those three painful memories. I loved them so much and the only time I feel like I'm even remotely human is when I relive when they broke my heart."

"Sammy, you can't keep doing this to yourself! It's not healthy!" Alice said.

Sam bit her lip. "I-I know it's not. I just can't stop doing it. I hate this person that I've become. The things that I've said to Lily and Remus and the things I've done with Severus! I'm not this person! I don't know who I am anymore!"

She cried harder and they didn't know what to do. "You are Samantha Potter. You are a good daughter, sister, and one of the best friends we have. Whoever you are now, it doesn't matter! You realize the mistakes that you've made and now is the time to fix it!" Lilac said with an encouraging smile.

"H-How do I do that?"

They smiled encouragingly at her. "First, you apologize to Lily and Remus. Secondly, and I feel this is actually the most important one, you stop doing those disgusting things with that greasy git!" Patty said with a smile. They all laughed.

"Remus and Lily won't even look at me let alone talk to me!"

"They will! They love you, Sam. We all do. We miss the real you. Not that the stark raving bitch you've become hasn't been a blast!" Lilac said.

Sam laughed. "Thanks for that. Please, don't tell anyone about the pensieves. The last thing I need is to be shipped off to St. Mungo's." They nodded in agreement.

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Sam woke with a start. She forgot to clear her mind and had one of the worst dreams yet. She felt weird as she past her friends, who were fast asleep. She crept out into the hall and made her way to the astronomy tower. A chill ran down her spine. The cold wind was blowing hard and all she had on was her nightgown. Rain started to pour as she sat on the ledge and looked down at the ground. She didn't know what she was doing there but knew it was the place she was supposed to be.

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_When you try your best, but you don't succeed _

Remus sighed as he walked around the halls. He was supposed to be patrolling but he wasn't in the mood. All he could think about was what Sam called him and how angry James was. He knew that he shouldn't have told him the truth but James had a right to know. Remus was surprised about the confession Sirius made about his break up with Sam. He honestly couldn't believe how stupid Sirius actually was. Remus regretted cheating on Sam after everything that happened but he knew he didn't do it on purpose. Sirius actually did do it on purpose.

He sighed as he took out the map. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." He muttered. Remus looked at it closely so that he could finish up patrolling and go to bed. Remus stopped when he saw Sam on the astronomy tower. Something inside him told him that something wasn't right.

_When you get what you want, but not what you need  
_

Remus ran to the astronomy tower and saw her on the ledge, crying. She was swaying back and forth. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off. Sam looked at him and he gasped. Her eyes were glazed over and unfocused. "Sam, what the hell do you think you are doing?"

She smiled at him. "I was thinking about flying. Mama told me this story once when I was a little girl. It was about this woman with so many problems. They were just too much for her to take that one day she jumped off her roof and flew away. She just soared and her problems floated away. Nothing mattered anymore. She had no worries and no more regrets. Wouldn't that be nice? To just float away and never have anymore problems? Wouldn't it be wonderful to not have to feel anything anymore except peace? Wouldn't it be wonderful to fly away?"

He stared at her with concern. "Sam, you are talking about death. Were you thinking about dying?"

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
_

Sam blinked. She seemed to finally realize what was going on. Her eyes regained focus and her smile faded. "W-What's going on? What am I doing here?"

"That's what I want to know."

She stared at him before her eyes went wide and she ran away from him. "Get away from me! You can't see me! I-I can't face you after what I said!"

Remus caught up to her and held her to him. "Sam, it's going to be okay! I know that you didn't mean it! Everything is going to be fine!"

_Stuck in reverse  
_

Sam pulled away from him. She felt so cold inside and out. "Don't lie to me! Everything is not going to be alright! Don't say that! You would always say that to me but it was all a lie!" He just stared at her in disbelief. "You left me! You said everything was going to be fine and you were gone! I loved you and before I knew it, you were gone!"

He was shocked. He didn't expect her to say all that. "Sam, I-I'm sorry."

The rain soaked them through. She shivered as she cried. "I just wanted you to love me! I just wanted Sirius to love me! Why couldn't you love me back? What's so wrong with loving me?"

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
_

"N-Nothing. There's nothing wrong with loving you."

Sam fell to the ground. She rocked back and forth as she sobbed. He sat down next to her and watched her closely. "I needed you so much and you weren't there! Everyone I love has left me!"

Remus slowly wrapped his arms around her. He sighed when she leaned into him. "No one has left you. You still have people who love you."

_When you lose something you can't replace _

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?  
_

She was gasping for air. She clung to his chest and he rubbed her back. "Yes, they have! You left me, Sirius left me, and James and Lily have each other! They don't need me anymore! Why does everyone I love want to leave me? What is wrong with me that everyone goes away?"

He kissed her. "There's nothing wrong with you. No one has gone away. We're still waiting for the real Sam to come back."

Her chin trembled. "The things that I've said and done! That isn't me! Everyone built me up to be Samantha Potter, James' sweet and innocent little sister, and I let you. I'm not the girl that would follow James around like I was his shadow anymore. I don't know who I am."

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

"You are Sam. You are sweet, loving, caring, smart, and funny. You love with your whole heart and would do anything for to protect the ones you love. That's the real you. That's who you are."

Remus kissed her again but it quickly stopped when she ran away. "Of course! The only way to calm down a whore like me is to kiss her! Is that what you think I am? Some whore that you only put up with when you need to get some?"

He looked at her like he'd never seen her before. "What are you talking about? You aren't a whore! I would never think that about you!"

_High up above or down below  
When you too in love to let it go  
_

Remus went to hug her but she slapped him. "You are a liar! When you broke up with me that was exactly what you called me! You, Sirius, and James were right about me! I'm nothing but a manipulative bitch that whores herself around! A little girl who whines when she doesn't get her way!"

Remus shook his head. "Sam, that's enough! This isn't you!"

She smiled in such a way that it made his skin crawl. "Are you mad about hearing the truth about little Saint Potter? Are you going to manhandle me to calm me down? You would like to, wouldn't you?" She started to pull down her nightgown. "Do you want me to beg for it? Did you know that Severus loves for me to beg for his touch?" She bit her lip and smirked at him. "The things that I let him do to me would make you blush!"

He pulled up her nightgown. "Sam, stop it!"

Sam let out a disgusting laugh. "What's the matter, Moony? Can't handle the truth? Sweet little Sammy is a disgusting whore just like you and Sirius said!"

_If you never try you'll never know  
Just watch and learn  
_

Remus gritted his teeth and walked towards the door. "That's enough! I don't have to deal with this!"

"Don't leave me!" She shrieked.

He turned in surprise and gaped at her. "Why should I stay? You want me to get angry? Well, you got your wish! The way you are acting is really pissing me off! You aren't a whore! You've made mistakes! We all have! Why are you acting this way?"

She ran to him and started beating on his chest. "Yes, I am! Yes, I am! Just say it! Please, just say it! I am a no good whore! No wonder you left me! I wouldn't want to be with me either!"

He pushed her away. "I'm not going to talk to you when you are like this."

Sam fell to the ground and was bent over in pain. "I begged him to stay with me! I BEGGED HIM!"

Remus looked at her closely before sitting down next to her. "What?"

She gritted her teeth. "I begged him to stay with me. I said I would do anything for him, even die. He laughed. He laughed and called me weak. He told me all about how he never really loved me and how he cheated on me with Sarah. He said that James was right about me being a whore. I slapped him as hard as I could. He made me hate him so much."

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

He put his arms around her and made her sit in his lap. She cried into his chest and he kissed the top of her head. "Sirius was wrong. He should have never said that to you. You aren't any of the things he said. You have to know that."

"I-I don't. Ever since you left me, Remus, it feels like everything went to shit. Nothing makes sense to me anymore."

_Tears stream down your face,  
When you lose something you cannot replace,  
Tears stream down your face,  
And I...  
_

Remus made her look at him and smiled. "I've felt the same way. I was never comfortable with Hannah, the way I was with you."

Sam rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes when he kissed her temple. "I loved you and Sirius so much. I've been in love with you since I was twelve and I've been in love with Sirius since I was ten and I'm tired. I'm tired of not being good enough."

"You are good enough. You are better than you think."

"I'm scared, Remus."

"Scared of what?"

She sighed. "I'm scared that this pain that I'm feeling will never go away. I'm scared that I will always be like this."

He smiled. "The pain will go away. You'll get over Sirius. It just might take some time."

_Tears stream down your face,  
I promise you I will learn from these mistakes,  
Tears stream down your face,  
And I...  
_

"I wasn't just talking about Sirius. I was talking about you too. I've never gotten over you either."

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry. You will get over us, I promise. You are stronger than you think. You'll get through this."

"I'm not as strong as you think. Look at the way I've been acting lately." She said.

"The way you've been acting hasn't been great, I'll admit, but you've kept all your feelings bottled up and that's not healthy. Why haven't you told me how you felt everything?"

Sam sighed. "I didn't want to burden you. I just wanted you to be happy and not have to worry about crazy old me."

Remus laughed. "You aren't crazy and you aren't a burden. Sam, you try to take care of everyone that you've forgotten to take care of yourself. Now, let me help you. Let me fix you. It's not too late to change."

"Look at the things that I've done and said. No one will forgive me."

He kissed her forehead. "I have. Now that I know what's been going through your mind, I can help you. Let me fix you."

She sighed. "I don't know if I can."

"You can. I know you can."

Sam hugged him tightly. "I've missed you so much, Remus. I've missed being with you."

"I've missed you too." He held her to him. "I have one question though."

"You can ask me anything."

The rain caused puddles all around them and they shivered. "D-Did you have sex with Snape?"

She laughed. "No, I couldn't do it. We don't love each other. I've only been with two people and those people are the ones that I've loved very much. That is you and Sirius. Severus and I have done some thing but never that."

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try fix you._

Remus sighed in relief. "Thank goodness." He looked at her closely before smiling at her. "Sam, you are going to be okay."

Sam nodded slowly. "Now that you're here with me, I will be. You've always made me feel calm and safe. I love you, Remus."

"I love you, Sam." They held each other and continued to talk as the rain crashed down around them.


	33. Chapter 32: In Dreams Part I

Author's Note: This chapter was so long that it had to be split into two. I hope you enjoy! The next chapter is obviously the second part.

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Chapter 32: In Dreams Part I.

* * *

Remus and Sam snuck into his room. They were soaked to the bone as Remus guided her to his bed. She felt uneasy about being there when the others were sound asleep. He gave her one of his pajama shirts and she smiled slightly when he turned his head while she changed. They sat on his bed and before they spoke, he put up a silencing charm so they could talk freely above a whisper. Sam smiled when he brushed some of her wet hair out of her eyes. "Are you feeling better?" He asked with concern in his eyes.

She nodded slowly. "I am. Thanks to you. It feels like a large weight has been lifted off of my chest."

"That's good." He slightly smiled. "Why do I get the feeling that there's something still bothering you?"

Sam looked around the room and sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't be here. I should just go back to my room. This isn't right. What if one of them wakes up and sees me here?"

Remus shrugged. "So what if they do? We aren't doing anything wrong. We are just talking and will only be sleeping."

"I don't have to sleep here with you. I have my own room and bed on the other side. There's no reason for me to sleep here."

He held her hand tightly. "Yes, there is. I'm still worried about you. I'd feel a lot better if you were here with me."

They got under the covers and faced each other. She sighed and looked away from him. "I'm truly sorry for what I said to you. I never should have said that. I knew it would upset you and I only did it because I was upset because I did those things with Severus."

Remus slightly smiled and kissed her forehead. "It's okay. I can forgive you if you can forgive me for everything that happened between us."

Sam nodded. "I can forgive you. I just thought you deserved an apology from me for acting like such a raving bitch."

He lightly laughed. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "It's alright. Now I know why you've been acting that way. Everything will be fine. Tomorrow, you will apologize to James and Lily and everything will be back to normal."

"Do you think that they will forgive me?"

Remus slowly nodded. "I know for a fact that they will."

"How do you know?"

He sighed. "Well, they understand why you've been acting that way. They understand because Sirius and I told them the truth behind our breakups with you."

Sam gasped. "Remus, you didn't!"

"I did."

"Why would you do that? We promised to keep it a secret. I swear, I wouldn't have told them. I mean, Lily knew what happened between us but not what happened with Sirius. Why did you two tell them?"

He shrugged. "It was the right thing to do. Sirius left out a lot of what he said to you. I didn't know most of what had happened until you told me tonight."

She hugged him and sighed. "How did James react? Did he hex you?"

Remus laughed. "No, he didn't hex me. He said that it was all our fault that you were acting the way you did. He said that he had a sweet and innocent sister before you met us. He said that he wanted his real sister back and that we had to fix it. He said that once the real you came back that he might forgive us."

Sam looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, Remus. He shouldn't have blamed it all on you like that. I chose to act the way I did. It was no one's fault but my own."

He kissed her briefly. "It was our fault. Our actions cause your behavior. You may have chosen to act that way but it was a direct result of what we put you through."

"I was hurt and acted like a moron. I'm truly sorry for that. I'm going to make it right though. I'm going to apologize to everyone and get back on track. I just have to do it in my own time. I have to do it my way."

Remus nodded. "I understand. I'll be there for you every step of the way."

They hugged and settled themselves as they tried to go to sleep. Sam stared at him while he closed his eyes. "Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a question that I've been meaning to ask you for a long time."

He smiled encouragingly at her. "What is it?"

Sam bit her lip and blushed. "Why was I the first person you told about your condition?"

Remus smiled brightly at her and snuggled closer to her. He rested his head on top of hers and sighed. "I told you first because…I guess that I knew you wouldn't freak out. I knew that I could trust you. I was scared to tell the others because I didn't know how they would react. I figured that if you could handle my secret then they could. I was right and I'm glad that you were the first person I told."

"I'm happy that you were able to trust me enough. That means a lot to me."

He gave her a sleep smile. "I'm happy that you took the news so well. At that time, I had a huge…I fancied you quite a bit and I was terrified that you would turn me away after I told you the truth. You really surprised me with your reaction and your willingness to be with me afterwards. Besides telling Hannah my secret, the only thing I regret more is breaking your heart."

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "That doesn't matter anymore. We are going to start on a clean slate. I've missed having you in my life and I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."

"What do you mean?" He asked as he pulled her closer.

Sam was literally a breath away from him. "You mean so much to me, Remus, and all I did was push you away. I won't do that again. I want you in my life. I want you to be my friend again."

"I'll always be your friend, Sammy. You were there for me when I needed you most. You've defended me and kept my secrets. I want you in my life. You make me feel unashamed for what I become."

She slightly smiled. "Well, I always thought that since I'm no fun to be around a few days out of the month, why hold it against you if you are the same way as well?"

He laughed before kissing her. She opened her mouth and he deepened the kiss. Remus rolled on top of her and moved his hand under her shirt. "Wait! Remus, we can't do this."

"Why not?"

Sam couldn't think when he was so close to her like that. She sat up and sighed. "Well, my brother and your friends are a few feet away. That makes this awkward even with the silencing charm up. And a lot has happened between us tonight and I'm not sure anymore should. I'd love to be with you again but I don't think tonight is the night for that. Maybe it would be best if I did go to my room."

Remus stopped her from leaving. "You're right. We shouldn't do that. I want you to stay the night. I need you to stay the night. Nothing has to happen. We can just sleep like we agreed. You'll leave before anyone wakes up just like we agreed." She nodded and they went to sleep.

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Sam waited until Remus was asleep and got out of bed. She shivered as a draft hit her bare legs. She knelt down beside her brother's bed and watched him sleep. She silently laughed as he let out a loud snore and a string of drool trailed out of his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed and he let out a murmur. Sam looked at him with concern and brought the covers up around his shoulders. She brushed the hair out of his eyes as he squirmed around. "It's okay, big brother. What ever it is, you will be fine once you wake up." She whispered to him.

James stopped squirming and sighed. He groggily opened his eyes. "S-Sam? Is that you?"

Sam's eyes widened in surprise and fear. "I-It's just a dream, James. Go back to sleep."

"What's going on?"

Sam had tears in her eyes and held his hand. "I love you, James. I'm so sorry for the way that I've been acting and the way I've treated you. I've been such a prat and you didn't deserve it. No one deserved it."

He yawned as he sat up in bed. "Its okay, Sammy. I know you didn't mean it."

She sat down next to him and they hugged. "James, do you remember when we were younger, before we came to Hogwarts, and I would have those terrible nightmares?"

James nodded slowly. "I do."

"Do you remember how you were the only one that would be able to calm me down?" He nodded. "And how you would let me sleep with you after every nightmare?" He nodded again. "You were the only one that seemed to understand why I needed you. You protected me when I was awake and when I went to sleep. Every night you would stay in my room until I fell asleep just to make sure I was okay."

He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. "I remember all those things. What's this all about?"

Sam sighed and clung to him. "I never said thank you. I never said how much it meant to me that you did that. I never told you how much you mean to me." Tears fell down her face and she wiped them away. "I love you, James. I'm so lucky to have an older brother like you. I could never imagine my life without you in it. Even when I was so angry at you that we wouldn't speak, I knew in my heart that I was lucky enough to have you as my over protective big brother."

James lightly laughed. "Even when you act like an ass, I still love you, Sammy. Is this all about the exploding bludgers?"

She looked at him curiously. "The what?"

"The exploding bludgers that were just here. Did one of them get you?"

Sam lightly laughed. "One of them almost did. You were there to protect me as usual."

He sighed in relief. "Good thing I was there. I don't want anything hurting my baby sister."

She kissed his forehead and got out of his bed. "Thank you for everything, James. You should go back to sleep. The exploding bludgers won't bother us anymore."

James nodded. "Okay, just be careful, Sammy. The floor is made out of hot lava."

Sam laughed softly and tucked him in. "I'll be careful, I promise." She went to go back to Remus' bed but stopped short and turned around. "James, those nightmares I've been having…Dumbledore found the reason why. He says that I'm a-" She was interrupted when he snored. She smiled at his sleeping form and sighed. "It doesn't matter. Sweet dreams, James." Sam walked over to Remus' bed and snuggled close to him and fell to sleep.

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James stared closely at his toast. He didn't notice that his friends were trying to get his attention. He was utterly confused. He kept looking at his toast like it was secretly holding answers to his unasked questions and sighed. Lily was concerned about him. He was barely eating and he hadn't said a word all morning. "James, are you okay?" She asked quietly.

He looked up when she touched his shoulder. "What did you say?"

She sighed. "I asked if you were alright." He looked away from her. "James, what's going on?"

James looked at her and sighed. "I had a weird dream last night. One minute I was fighting off exploding bludgers and the next, I was in my room talking to Sam." He stopped speaking when Remus dropped his fork. "Is there a problem, Remus?"

Remus shook his head. "N-No, there's no problem. Continue with your story."

They stared at him curiously for a moment before James began to speak. "She was crying and talking about how I used to comfort her after she had one of her nightmares." Sirius looked at him with interest. "She talked about how I would let her sleep with me because I was the only one that would be able to comfort her. She said that she loved me and that I mean so much to her."

Lily smiled softly at him. "Did you really do that for her?" He nodded. She kissed him briefly. "That's so sweet. She's lucky to have you as her brother."

James blushed. "That's what she said in my dream. It felt so weird and so real. You don't think that it wasn't a dream, do you? Do you think she was really there?"

Lily and Sirius shrugged. Remus quickly shook his head. "N-No, I-I think it was just a dream."

James rolled his eyes and sighed. "Maybe you're right. I guess I just miss her always being around."

Lily hugged him. "She'll come around eventually. I'm sure she misses you just as much as you miss her. Maybe even more."

"You really think so?"

She nodded. "I do. She loves you, James. She's just going through a tough time right now." Remus and Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "She knows that you'll always be there for her. She just needs time."

He nodded slowly. "You're right." James looked down the table and saw Sam laughing with her friends. She looked over at him and cautiously smiled. He looked hopeful. "You're right, Lily. Sam will come 'round. I just know she will."

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"Hey Lily! Wait up!"

Lily turned around and rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Remus?"

He sighed. He was glad that the common room was empty. He needed to talk to the one person that could understand, in private. "I need to talk to you about something important."

She sighed as she sat down across from him. "What's this all about? Make it fast. I have to meet James in the library."

Remus looked at her closely. "It's about Sam."

"What about her?"

He took a deep breath and began to tell her about the previous night. She gasped and sighed in all the right places. He slightly smiled at her. "So, I honestly think that James' dream wasn't a dream at all. I think she did talk to him."

Lily silently cried. He patted her hand reassuringly. "That really happened?" Remus nodded. "She's really sorry for everything?"

"Yes, she is. She feels awful about what she almost called you."

She bit her lip. "Why doesn't she just apologize? She should know that we would forgive her."

Remus sighed. "She's scared. She wants to do it in her own time and in her own way." Lily nodded slowly. "Please, don't tell her I told you. She would be very upset. Just give her some time, Lily. I think she'll apologize soon enough."

Lily nodded and wiped away her tears. "I won't tell her." Remus smiled brightly. "Just tell me one thing, Remus."

"What?"

"You did convince her to stop doing those disgusting things with Snape, didn't you?"

Remus laughed. "I didn't have to. She knew she had to stop. She promised that she would stop."

She sighed in relief. "Thank goodness! I love her to death but if she slept with him, I'd have to seriously consider ending our friendship for good." He laughed in response.

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Remus and Sirius sat down next to Lily and James in the library. James glared at them. "Did you two talk to Sam yet?"

Remus shared a look with Lily and nodded while Sirius shook his head. "I did last night. We had a long talk and we're fine."

Sirius looked at him in utter amazement. "How'd you manage that, mate? Every time I try to talk to her, she runs away."

Remus slightly sneered at him. "I cornered her. We had a long talk and all is forgiven."

James nodded approvingly. "Good work, Remus. Sirius, you better get to work on her. Once she's back to normal, I'll feel better."

Lily smiled at him. "She'll be back to normal soon enough." She looked around the library and saw Lilac walk past them. "Hey Lilac! Do you know where Sam is?"

Lilac smiled at Lily, James and Remus but sneered at Sirius. "What time is it?"

James gave her a weird look. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "It has everything to do with it."

Lily looked at her closely. "Why?"

Lilac slightly smiled. "Well, after dinner she has tutoring." They nodded slowly. "Then after her tutoring, especially after her sessions with Snape, she goes back to our room and…" She trailed off.

"And what?" James growled.

"She goes into her pensieves and relives her breakups with Remus and that git over there." They stared at her in shock. She knew that she shouldn't have told them the truth but she was honestly worried about her friend. She, Patty, Mary, and Alice tried their best to help Sam and they even went into the pensieves with her one night to try to understand what she was going through. Nothing seemed to help and Lilac hoped that Lily, James, Remus, and even Sirius could help her.

Remus was in shock. Sam left out that piece of information. "S-She has?"

Lilac nodded and looked away from them. "Yes, she has. Please don't tell her I told you. She'd be very upset if she knew."

They nodded and she left. James turned and glared at them. "I thought you said that you worked everything out with her, Remus?"

"I-I thought we did. She never told me about the pensieves."

James rolled his eyes and glared at Sirius. He got into his face and gritted his teeth. "What have you done to her? If you would have kept it in your pants, she wouldn't be this way!"

Sirius leaned back and fell out of his chair. "I-I'm sorry. I-I never meant for this to happen. I didn't know she would react this way. I'm sorry."

"You're right, you are sorry! How did I ever trust you with her?"

Lily sighed. "James, calm down. Stop before you say something you might regret."

James clenched his teeth and continued to glare at Sirius. "The only thing that I regret is trusting my so-called best friend with my sister! I should have known better! The way he treated all of his other girlfriends should have been a clue!"

Sirius looked away from him. He couldn't believe that James said that to him. "J-James, I'm sorry. I'll fix this."

"You better or else!"

James and Lily quickly left and he sighed. "How do I fix this, Moony?"

Remus wanted to be angry at him but he looked so pathetic that he just couldn't. "You have to find a way to talk to her. Try not to get annoyed if she gives you a hard time. That's all you can do." Sirius nodded and sighed. He would have to swallow his pride and apologize to her. He already lost Sam for good and it was his own fault but he refused to lose his best friend as well.

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Sam had trouble sleeping that night. She walked down to the common room and sat by the fire. She curled her legs underneath her body and leaned into her shirt. Remus' scent clung to it and she smiled. She had been spending the last two nights with him in his bed and she felt better. The only reason she couldn't sleep was because before she went to his room she had taken off her locket. The locket he gave to her the night they broke up. She wore it everyday. She felt safe when she wore it and it helped her get through the day. Sam watched the fire crackle and jumped when she heard his voice. "Sam, what are you doing down here?"

She smiled at him. "I couldn't sleep. Why are you up?"

Remus sat across from her and sighed. "I woke up and you were gone. I got worried."

"I'm alright. There's no reason for you to be worried."

He looked at her closely. "Sam, why didn't you tell me about the pensieves?"

"How do you know about that?"

Remus sighed. "I have my sources."

She lightly laughed and rolled her eyes. "Lilac told you, didn't she?"

He looked away and nodded. "She was just worried about you. Please, don't be angry with her."

"I'm not. There's no reason to be."

Remus moved closer to Sam and she sat on his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder and he sighed happily. He kissed her temple and smiled when she let out a soft laugh. "I'm happy that you're getting better."

She kissed him lightly. "I am too. I'm still a little scared though."

"Scared about what?"

Sam sighed. "That they won't forgive you or me."

"They will. You don't have to worry."

Sam looked at him closely. She touched his cheek and kissed him. "Remus?"

"Yes?" She unbuttoned her shirt and his eyes widened. "W-What are you doing?"

"I want to be with you, Remus." He watched her closely as she removed her shirt. "Help me be not afraid."

Remus nodded slowly and kissed her. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He whispered in her ear.

Sam smiled and nodded. "I am. Are you…?"

He removed his shirt and kissed her again. "I'm sure." He ran his fingers through her hair as they kissed. Remus rolled her on to her back and smiled. "I love you, Sam."

She ran her fingertips over his lips and gently smiled. "I love you, Remus." He smiled at her. "You make me feel so good and safe. You make me happy, Remus."

"You make me happy, Sam. I've missed you."

She bit her lip. "I've missed you too."

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Sirius woke up with a start. He had trouble getting to sleep all night. He was feeling like crap about what James said to him and learning about Sam's pensieves. He felt so guilty about the way he treated her during their relationship and how he broke up with her. He walked downstairs to the common room and stopped when he heard her voice. "That they won't forgive me or you."

He peeked around the corner and saw her sitting on Remus' lap. He gritted his teeth. His blood started to boil when they kissed and she started to unbutton her shirt. "Help me be not afraid." He felt like he could hurt someone. Remus whispered something in her ear and she nodded. Remus was on top of her and Sirius was fuming. "I've missed you too." She whispered into his ear.

Sirius watched closely and his chest hurt when he saw the pleased and content look on her face. He felt like he couldn't move. He couldn't understand why she was with Remus when she supposedly loved him. He hated seeing them like that and was finally able to move. He had seen enough. Sirius went back to his room and waited for Remus to return. It was almost an hour later when Remus returned. Sirius was actually impressed by the length of his absence but his anger won out over any other feelings he had. He was about to speak when he heard her giggle. His eyes widened in anger. "Keep it down. We don't want to wake them up." Sam whispered.

Remus lightly laughed and kissed her. "Let's get back into bed. We only have a few hours left before you have to leave again."

Sam kissed him. "I'm sure you just want me in your bed to sleep."

He took her hand in his and kissed her neck. "Of course I do. I am a gentleman after all."

Sirius sneered and rolled his eyes at that cheesy line. Sam lightly giggled. "You sure didn't act like a gentleman downstairs." He lightly laughed. "And I've got to say that I liked it."

Sirius heard them get into bed and her laugh before Remus put up the silencing charm. Sirius couldn't feel his legs. He hated the thought of her with someone else and to watch them when they were together and hear them made him sick with jealousy. She was his. She was supposed to be with him. Sirius just needed time to be prepared enough to be with her and he couldn't understand why she just didn't know that.

He saw the bed move quickly and he was amazed that they were at it again. He waited for an hour before it stopped. He was beyond angry. It was bad enough that he saw them together but to have them do it when he was supposedly asleep a few feet away way just too much for him to take. He waited a few minutes before getting out of bed and walked over to Remus' bed. He slightly pulled back the curtains and his heart stopped. Sam was wearing Remus' shirt and had her head on his chest. Her hair was all around them and she had her eyes closed with a smile on her face. Sirius sighed and went back to his bed. He tossed and turned and punched his pillow. It was going to be a long night.

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Sirius was in a bad mood all day. Whenever he saw Remus, he had an overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. He walked down the hall between classes and he knew he had to talk to Sam. He needed to make things right with her and hopefully convince her to stop sleeping with Remus. He saw Lilac turn around the corner and he ran over to her. "Hey Lilac!"

Lilac looked at him and sneered. "What the hell do you want, Black?"

He sighed. "I wanted to know where Sam is."

She rolled her eyes. "The last time I saw her, she was with Remus. Why do you want to know?"

"Why is she with _him_?"

Lilac gritted her teeth. "They were just talking. Why the hell do you care?"

Sirius groaned. "I just need to talk to her."

"Yeah, you sure do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She rolled her eyes again. "It doesn't mean anything. Leave me alone."

Lilac walked away but he grabbed her arm. "What did you mean by that, Lilac?"

She pulled her arm away and glared at him. "Get off of me!" He held his hands up in defense. "You want to know what I meant!" Sirius nodded. "I meant that she's pregnant and it's all your fault!"

Sirius gulped. "W-What? S-She's what?"

"Sam's pregnant! She's been throwing up in the bathroom for the past couple of weeks, she's always tired and the sight of food makes her sick sometimes! Put it all together, Sirius! It all adds up to her being pregnant! The last person she was with was you! Congratulations Daddy!" He paled and his eyes rolled back in his head before he fainted and fell to the floor. Lilac rolled her eyes. "Oh shit." She muttered before bending down to smack him. "Sirius, wake your sorry ass up!"

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed and he slowly opened his eyes. "W-What's going on?"

She sneered at him. "You fainted."

"Why?"

Lilac groaned and rolled her eyes. "Because I told you that Sam was pregnant." His eyes started to roll back in his head but she slapped him. "Oh no you don't! I'm not wasting my day slapping you around." She stopped and smiled. "On second thought, maybe you should pass out again."

He rolled his eyes and slowly stood up. "I'm fine. Thanks for the concern." She sighed. "Are you sure about this?"

She looked away from him and nodded slowly. "Of course I am."

Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. "I can't believe this is happening. We were so careful."

"Obviously not careful enough! What are you going to do about it? Berate her and break her heart again?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to do the right thing. She deserves at least that much!"

Sirius ran off and Lilac sighed. "What did I just do?" She ran to the Great Hall and saw her friends sitting at the table. They looked at her in surprise when she flopped down and sighed. "I think I did something stupid."

Alice laughed and rolled her eyes. "What did you do?"

"I just told Sirius that Sam was pregnant."

They spit out their pumpkin juice and gaped at her. "Y-You did what?" Mary asked.

Patty groaned. "Why would you do something so stupid?"

Lilac blushed. "He wanted to talk to Sam and it just came out."

Alice rolled her eyes. "She isn't pregnant though! She told us herself when we asked."

Lilac sighed. "I know that."

Mary glared at her. "Then why did you tell him she was?"

"He just made me so angry. I just wanted to mess with him. It came out before I could stop myself."

Patty sighed. "What did he say? How did he react?"

Lilac laughed. "He fainted and I got to slap him."

Alice smiled. "How did it feel to slap him?"

"It felt wonderful!"

The girls laughed. "Did he say anything?" Mary asked.

"He said that he was going to do the right thing."

Alice slowly nodded. "At least he has some sense. You still shouldn't have done that."

Lilac sighed. "I know but it's too late to take it back."

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Remus dragged Sam into the Great Hall. "Come on, Sam."

She looked at him and sighed. "Remus, let go!"

He rolled his eyes. "No, I won't! You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry!" She blushed when her stomach growled.

Remus smiled and laughed. "I think that I just won that argument. Come on, let's eat."

He rubbed her stomach with the back of his hand as she smiled and laughed. "Ok, I will." They stared at each other and blushed. They didn't notice the commotion that was going on in the front of the room.

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Sirius was completely pale and couldn't eat a thing. The only thing he could think about was what Lilac told him. "_She can't be pregnant! We were so careful!_" He thought to himself before groaning. "_But why would Lilac lie like that?_" He sighed and pushed his food around with his fork. "_Me? A father? I'm too young to be a father! Sam's too young to be a mother and she has another year of school left. What am I going to do?_"

He saw Remus and Sam walk in and he sneered. The way they were acting and blushing at each other made him sick. "_The first thing I'm going to do is propose to her and then I'm going to make sure that Remus never touches her again!_"

Sirius saw Remus rub her stomach and he felt light headed. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell off of the bench and landed on the floor. Lily and James stood up in surprise. "Sirius! Are you ok?" Lily asked. He wasn't moving and she slapped him a few times before he started to wake up.

He groaned. "I really wish that people would stop slapping me."

They helped him up and stared at him closely. "What the hell was that all about? Why'd you faint?" James asked.

Sirius wouldn't look at them. "Haven't eaten all day. I really should." They rolled their eyes but he was too busy to notice. He watched Sam and Remus sitting with her friends and laughing. She was shoveling food into her mouth at rapid speed and smiled and laughed when Remus whispered in her ear. He had only one thought on his mind as he watched them. "_I'm going to kill that bastard!_"


	34. Chapter 33: In Dreams Part II

Author's Note: This is the longest chapter in the world! It took me two days to type it out and let me tell you that …ouch! My arm is sore! This is the second half, obviously. Also, the scene with James and Sam is a little schmaltzy. I wrote that when I was really missing my eldest brother. So, I was thinking about him and I got a little sappy. Don't judge me! LOL, I hope you like this jam packed chapter!

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Chapter 33: In Dreams Part II.

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Sam was walking down the hall after classes and her stomach was cramping. She ate too fast at lunch but it felt so good to eat a full meal again instead of the occasional bites she would normally consume. "Hey Sam! Wait up!"

She turned and saw James coming toward her. She smiled awkwardly at him. "H-Hello James."

He stood in front of her and stared at her closely. "I need to talk to you about something important."

Sam looked at him suspiciously. "What is it?"

James slightly smiled. "I had this weird dream the other night-"

"I wasn't there!" She closed her eyes and sighed in frustration. She couldn't believe how stupid she was to blurt that out.

He smiled brightly and laughed. "I knew it! I knew it was really you!"

Sam blushed. "No, it wasn't. It was just a dream."

James rolled his eyes. "Sam, I know it was you."

She sighed and nodded. "Ok, it was me."

He smiled and hugged her. She clung to him and he sighed in relief. "I've missed you, Sammy."

Her chin trembled and her voice cracked when she spoke. "I've missed you too, Jimmybean."

James laughed when she called him his secret nickname that she came up with when they were younger. "Why didn't you just talk to me? I would have understood."

Sam sighed. "I didn't know how to. I was just so angry and …I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead and smiled. "I know you are, Sammabelle."

She laughed at her secret nickname that he gave to her. "We haven't called each other those names since we were kids."

He laughed. "I know. We thought we were so clever coming up with those names. Do you remember when we tried to convince Mum and Dad that they were actual people?"

Sam smiled and giggled. He wrapped an arm around her as they walked down the hall. "They weren't convinced. Do you remember when we had that terrible fight about fairies or something stupid and we weren't speaking?" James laughed and nodded. "Do you remember that mum made cookies and wrote on it: _I'm sorry, love Sammabelle_?"

James gave her a look. "Wait! That wasn't you?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "No, it wasn't. Mum knew even then that we were too stubborn to apologize to each other so she did it for us."

He stopped walking and looked at her. "Sam?"

Sam looked at him closely and smiled. "Yes?"

"You have to talk to Lily."

She sighed. "I don't know how to."

James smiled and hugged her. "It's easy. You miss her and she misses you. It's time to stop being so damn stubborn and apologize."

Sam lightly laughed and nodded. "You're right." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "You're a great big brother, Jimmybean."

He winked at her. "I know. You're a great baby sister, Sammabelle."

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James held Sam's hand tightly as they walked into the common room. Lily looked over at him and smiled. Her eyes widened when she saw him holding Sam's hand. Sam looked terrified as they stood in front of her. "What's going on?" Lily asked cautiously.

He nudged Sam. "H-Hi Lily." She mumbled.

Lily almost laughed at the sight of her. She held it in and straightened in her seat. "Samantha."

Sam looked at James with desperate eyes. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Lily, Sam needs to tell you something."

Lily held in her smile and sighed. "Yes? What is it?" Sam mumbled. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

"I was wondering if we could speak in private."

She sighed. "I suppose we could."

James held in his laughter. Lily and Sam were the most stubborn women he knew besides his mother. "Sam, why don't you take Lily up to your room and talk?" They nodded and went up to her room. James laughed and went up to his room.

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Lily sat down and sighed. Sam was pacing in front of her and Lily smiled. "What's this all about?"

Sam looked at her and sat down. "I've been acting like a prat lately."

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'll say you have!"

She sighed. "What I almost called you…I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. It was completely unforgivable. I understand if you continue to hate me. I deserve worse for the things that I've done and said. Lily, I never meant it. You have to know that I'd never call you something so disgusting."

Lily sighed. "You really hurt me, Sam. I thought that we were friends."

"We are friends! I mean, we used to be before I said that." Sam started to cry. "I was just so hurt and angry all the time and I had no idea how to control it. I'm not trying to make excuses for the way I've acted. I'm just trying to make things right and get back on track."

Lily started to cry and they hugged. "I-I know that you're sorry. I've missed you."

"I've missed you so much, Lily."

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

Sam sighed and shrugged. "It was stupid. I thought that you would tell James."

Lily sighed. "You know that I wouldn't do that! Sam, we tell each other everything and keep our secrets! We were best friends! I would have never betrayed your trust like that!"

She cried and hugged her. "I know. I'm sorry for doubting our friendship! That wasn't fair to you."

Lily smiled and they wiped away their tears. "Now, tell me what's been going on in that mind of yours. Did you really do those things with Snape?"

Sam blushed and laughed. "Yes, I did. Did Lilac tell everyone everything?"

"She told us about the pensieves and Remus filled me in on the rest. Don't be angry with them. They were just worried about you."

She laughed. "I'm not angry. I should have told you. I'm sorry, Lily."

Lily smiled. "I know, sweetie. Before we are friends again, I have one…two requests."

"What are they?"

"Firstly, stop doing those disgusting this with Snape!" Sam laughed and nodded in agreement. "Secondly, I want you to take me into your pensieves."

"W-Why would you want to do that?"

She sighed. "Sirius only told us part of the truth. I want to know what really happened. Please Sam; let me go in with you." Sam nodded slowly and took out the box. They held hands as they went in.

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Sirius walked down the hall with Sarah, holding hands. She was worried about him. He had been silent most of the night and she had no idea why. Sarah clung to him tightly and tried not to worry. He stopped walking and looked at her. She smiled encouragingly at him. "Is everything ok?"

He sighed. "We have to talk."

Her breath caught in her throat. "A-About what?"

Sirius wouldn't look at her. "We have to break up."

"W-Why?"

"We just have to."

Sarah's eyes watered and her lip trembled. "You don't love me anymore?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I-I still like you."

"Then what's the problem? Why are you breaking up with me?"

Sirius sighed. "I'm …going to propose to Sam."

She stared at him in utter disbelief. "You're what?"

"I just found out that Sam's pregnant. I'm the father. I'm going to do the right thing and marry her."

Sarah sneered. "How can you trust what she says? She just told you that to break us up and get her hooks into you again!"

He groaned. "She would never do that! She didn't even tell me about the baby! I had to hear it from her friends!"

"Why do you have to marry her? Why can't she be a single mother? A lot of women are doing that nowadays!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "That wouldn't be fair to her. She already has enough to deal with! She has a baby on the way and another year of school left! It's only fair that I do this!"

Sarah cried and he reluctantly hugged her. "It's not fair! We've only just got together and she's taking you away from me!"

"She doesn't know about this yet. She doesn't even know that I know yet."

"Why can't you pretend that you don't know? You can see the baby once in a while and still be with me."

"I don't want to be that type of father, Sarah. I want to be involved in my child's life no matter what! Family is very important to me and it's important to Sam. This is the right thing to do and I'm sorry that you have to get hurt in the process but it needs to be done."

Sarah kissed him. "I don't want to lose you again, Sirius."

Sirius sighed. "I know you don't. I'm sorry, Sarah. This is the only way."

"How can you be sure this is real? She could have just told her friends this lie knowing that they'd tell you!"

"Sam would never do that! She doesn't manipulate people like that! Her friends only told me because they were mad at me and blurted it out. That's the only reason why I know!"

She held onto him. "I hate her for this! This is all her fault!"

He sneered at her. "It's no one's fault but my own. I should have been more responsible."

"I'm sorry that you have to go back to her. I know that you really want to be with me."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Of course I want to be with you. I just have to do this. It's the right thing to do. I'm sorry, Sarah."

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Sirius walked into the common room and inwardly groaned when he saw Remus. He still couldn't get the image of Sam and him having sex out of his mind. He was still angry about that and really wanted to punch him in the face. "Moony, have you seen Sam?"

Remus looked up at him and rolled his eyes. "No, I haven't."

"What's your problem?"

He sighed and packed up his things. "I have no problem."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Have you seen her?"

Remus groaned. "Are you deaf? I just said that I haven't seen her!"

He tried to walk away but Sirius grabbed his arm. "What's up your ass?"

"Why do you need to see her?"

"I need to talk to her. There are some important things we need to discuss!"

Remus sneered at him. "What are you going to say? Are you going to call her a whore again? Or maybe you'll call her weak? I know! Why don't you just call her a disgusting piece of trash and force her to watch you shagging Sarah?"

Sirius was fuming. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You lied to us! Sam told me what you really said to her when you broke up! I'm not going to let you hurt her again! The least I could do is protect her from you!"

He let out a cruel laugh. "Yeah right! Everyone knows how much you _love_ to _protect_ her!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I saw you with her last night! I saw you violate her!"

It was Remus' turn to laugh. "Oh, that's rich coming from someone like you! You completely destroyed everything good in her life!"

"What have I destroyed?"

Remus pretended to think about his answer. "Well, for starters, it was your fault when we first broke up! You couldn't stand the fact that she stopped paying any attention to you and was happy with me! You had to mess everything up! We still would have been together if it wasn't for you!"

Sirius really wanted to punch him. "Was it my fault that you cheated on her? Was it my fault that you couldn't keep it in your pants?"

"No, it wasn't! It was your fault that you _purposely_ cheated on her! I'm sure you had a great reason for that! What was it again?"

He pushed Remus. "You shut your face! You don't know anything about my relationship with her!"

Remus pushed him back. "Yes, I do! She told me how miserable she was with you! How you made her doubt herself and treated her like garbage! For someone who loved her so damn much, you really screwed everything up! You don't deserve her! You never did! All you ever do is hurt her!"

Sirius had enough of him and punched Remus in the face. Remus glared at him before punching Sirius back. "You weren't exactly a saint yourself, Remus! One sign of trouble and you left her high and dry!"

"What about you? You promised her things and turned into a coward! At least I loved her! Can you say the same thing?"

"What the hell do you know? She wanted to be with me forever! Did she ever say the same thing to you?"

Remus smirked. "Yes, she did! Last night, after we had sex! She said if you didn't screw everything up, we would have still been together!"

"Well if you didn't cheat on her then maybe she wouldn't have gone insane!"

He was fuming. He punched Sirius right in the nose. "Don't you dare talk about her like that! It was your fault that she acted that way! Why do you care so much about her now?"

"I love her! I've always cared about her! You're just jealous that she always wanted to be with me and settled for you!"

They started to push each other again. "You really think she wanted you more? She barely touched you! She would practically beg me for sex! She couldn't keep her hands off of me! Well, you would know that! You saw us last night!"

Sirius jumped onto Remus and they started punching. "You stay away from her! She's mine! You don't ever touch her again!"

"She isn't yours! She's been in my bed every night for the last couple of days. She doesn't want you!"

"Yes, she does! She begged me to stay with her!"

Remus was on top of him and held him down. "You liked that, didn't you? You liked making her feel like shit! You liked seeing her cry for you!"

Sirius pushed him off of him and they began to really wrestle. "No, I didn't! I hated it! At least I have enough sense to do the right thing! I didn't abandon her when she thought she was pregnant!"

"No, you just abandoned her when things became serious!"

James and Peter walked in and stopped short when they saw them fighting. They were rolling around on the floor and throwing punches and didn't stop until James and Peter pulled them apart. "What the hell is going on? You two do realize who you're hitting, don't you?" James yelled.

Remus glared at Sirius while wiping blood off his mouth. "He started it!"

James had to hold Sirius back. "I did not! You started it!"

"W-What's g-going o-on?" Peter asked nervously.

"I don't care who started it! I just want to know what you were fighting about!" Remus and Sirius didn't answer. They were too busy glaring at each other. James rolled his eyes. "Moony, why were you two fighting?"

Remus pushed Peter away from him and was about to hit Sirius but James pushed him away. "He wanted to talk to Sam! He probably just wants to hurt her again!"

James was struggling to keep them apart. Peter was too scared to get in between them. "No, I don't! I have something important to talk to her about! James, why don't you ask him what he's been doing with her lately?"

"What have you been doing with her?"

"We haven't been doing anything wrong! Why don't you ask Sirius to finally tell the truth about their break up?"

James was so confused. He had no idea what got into them. "Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on now!"

"He called her a whore and said that she was weak!"

"He slept with her last night! She's been in his bed the last couple of nights!"

James was furious at the both of them. "You said what? You did what with her?"

Sirius pushed past James and hit Remus. "You better not touch her again!"

Remus hit him back. "What do you have to talk to her about, Sirius? Are you going to call her insane? Are you going to laugh again when she cries? Do you want her to beg you to stay with her again?"

"Shut up! You don't know anything! You better not touch her!"

"I'll do what I please! Why do you care about what we do together? Why shouldn't we be together?"

People were staring at them in shock. They couldn't believe that these three best friends were fighting. Sirius growled. "Because she's pregnant, you git!"

Remus and James stopped and stared at him. "She's what?" James asked.

Sirius sighed. "She's pregnant and I'm the father. I only just found out."

Remus was pale. "Y-You're lying! She couldn't possibly be!"

"She is! I'm going to ask her to marry me!"

James glared at him. "No, you won't! I don't want you anywhere near my sister! You've done enough."

Sirius' eyes widened. "I'm going to marry her whether you like it or not, Prongs!" James, Remus, and Sirius began to fight. Peter stared in shock.

Sam and Lily walked down, laughing. That stopped quickly when they saw the boys fighting. "Exactly what's been going on since I went crazy?" Sam asked.

Lily shrugged. "Sirius and Remus told James the truth about your breakups." Sam nodded. "But this is new. When you were on your last stop on the crazy train, I was with you."

The girls ran over to them and tried to pull them apart. Sam fell to the ground when the boys pushed her away. Remus and Sirius were at her side in seconds. "Sam, are you ok?" They said in unison. They glared at each other. "You stay away from her!" They said. "No, you stay away from her!"

She rolled her eyes and pushed them away. "You both stay away from me!" They looked at her in surprise and shock. "What the hell is wrong with you two? You're best friends! Why are you fighting?"

"He started it!" Sirius muttered.

Remus glared at him. "No, I didn't! You did!"

Remus punched Sirius and Sirius punched him back. Remus landed on the ground and Sam blocked Sirius from attacking him further. "Remus, are you ok?"

He nodded slowly and stood up. "I'm fine."

Sirius grabbed her arm. "Sam, we need to talk."

She pulled away from him. "I don't want to talk to you! Leave me alone!"

He waved his wand and a ring appeared. He got down on one knee and she stared at him in shock. "Marry me."

Lily held James back. "Stay away from her! You've done enough!" James growled.

Sam shook her head. "I-I can't believe this! I-I have to go." She ran out of the common room and Sirius followed her before anyone could stop him.

Lily looked at James and Remus in shock. "What the hell is going on?"

James sighed and glared at Remus. "Remus has been sleeping with her again and Sirius got her pregnant."

She gasped. "W-What?"

Remus groaned. "She's pregnant and it's all Sirius' fault!"

"She couldn't be! She would have told me!" Lily gaped at them.

James pulled away from her. "She hasn't exactly been truthful lately!"

"She would have told us about that!" Lily sighed. "What is she going to do?"

They shrugged. "Sirius said he was going to marry her but I don't want him anywhere near her." James grumbled.

Remus sighed. "I could kill him for doing this to her! She's been through enough!"

Lily bit her lip. "She won't say yes. I saw their break up and she wouldn't say yes."

They looked at her. "What do you mean you saw their breakup?" Remus asked slowly.

"She took me into her pensieves and I saw it. What he did was horrible, she wouldn't take him back."

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Sirius ran around the castle searching for Sam. He had no idea where she could possible be. He turned a corner and saw her walking. He ran up to her. "Sam, wait up!"

Sam turned around and glared at him. "Leave me alone, Black!"

She walked away from him but he stopped her by grabbing her arm. "We have to talk!"

She pulled her arm out of his grasp. "Get off of me!" He held up his hands in defense. "Haven't you done enough? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

He sighed when he looked at her. "I love you, Sam. I want to marry you."

Sam slapped him. "You are a disgusting liar! You've said those things before, why should I believe you now?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry about everything."

"I don't believe you."

Sirius grabbed her and held her close. "You have to know that I love you. You mean everything to me."

She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her go. "No, you don't! I'm just a disgusting weak whore in your eyes!"

He winced when she threw his words back in his face. "I didn't mean those things that I said. I was scared, Sam, but I'm not scared anymore." He kissed her. "I know what you've been going through. You don't have to go through it alone anymore. I'm here for you."

Sam had tears in her eyes. "Y-You know? You're okay with it?"

"Yes, I am. None of it matters. Nothing does as long as we are together. I've missed you so much, Sam."

She bit her lip after he kissed her again. "You still want to be with me after everything?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, I do. I wish you would have told me but it doesn't matter. You have me to help you now."

Sam clung to him. "I've missed you so much, Sirius. I've done nothing but wish that you would come back to me."

He kissed her gently. "You don't have to wish anymore. I'm here now. We can be together."

"I don't know if I can believe you. After everything that happened between us, how do I know that what you say is real?"

"I mean every word I say, Sammy. I've missed you so much. I love you."

She sighed. "What about Sarah?"

"I broke up with her. She wasn't the one for me, you are." He got down on one knee and held up the ring he conjured. "Sam, I know that I've hurt you and I'm truly sorry. I would be the luckiest man in the world if you were to forgive me and be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Sam didn't understand him. He was a complete mystery to her. "Sirius, aren't we too young to talk about marriage? This is a little sudden. Are you sure about wanting to do this?"

Sirius placed the ring on her finger and smiled brightly. He was quickly getting used to the idea of being a father and he was becoming excited over the idea of being a husband to her. "I'm sure, Sam. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for my mistakes. I need you in my life. I want you in my life. Just say yes."

"Yes?"

He smiled. "Yes?"

"Yes?"

Sirius kissed her deeply and hugged her. Sam awkwardly hugged him back. She honestly couldn't believe that this was happening. He was back and wanted to be with her forever. She didn't know why but something didn't feel right about this proposal.

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Sirius held Sam's hand as they walked into the Great Hall for breakfast. Sam noticed people staring at her and whispering. They sat down in between Lily and Lilac. Remus and James glared at them. Sam wouldn't look at them. She was lost in thought. It didn't help that her friends were looking at her with guilt written all over their faces. She sighed and rested her hand on her cheek. "Where's your ring?"

She jumped. "What did you say?"

Sirius eyed her closely. "Where's your engagement ring?"

Sam blushed. Every one of their friends was staring at them in shock and surprise. "I-It's in my pocket. I-I wasn't sure if we wanted everyone to know just yet."

He smiled brightly and kissed her. "I want everyone to know. You can put it on." She sheepishly pulled it out of her pocket and slid it on to her finger. "What do you think about getting married over Christmas break?"

She spit out her pumpkin juice. "W-Why so soon? Can't we wait until I'm at least out of school?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't want to waste anymore time. I think it would be best if we did it as soon as possible." She awkwardly nodded and sighed. "We'd have to talk to Dumbledore about this. He can make arrangements for your last year, I'm sure of it."

Sam felt a tightness in her chest. Things were moving way too fast. She saw him piling food onto her plate and her eyes went wide at the amount of food that threatened to spill over. "Sirius, what do you think you are doing? The British muggle army couldn't eat all that food in an entire year!"

Sirius laughed. "You need to keep up your strength. You haven't been eating a lot lately and you'll need your energy."

She gave him a weird look when he winked at her. "What has gotten into you?"

He shrugged. "I'm just trying to take care of you. Speaking of which, I think it would be best if you stopped playing Quidditch."

"What? Why?"

James gritted his teeth. Sirius' behavior was making him sick to his stomach. "He's right, Sam. It would be for the best."

She sighed. "You lot are acting completely nutters!"

Sirius smiled and kissed her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and wouldn't let her move away from him. "Eat up, Sam! It will do you some good to eat!"

Sam slightly smiled at him and picked up her fork. She pushed around the food and took a small bite when she saw him watching her. Something was definitely not right.

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Sam finally got away from everyone. Sirius was following her around and kept asking how she was feeling. He even tried to carry her bag because he thought it would be too heavy for her. When she yelled at him to stop, she could have sworn he muttered "hormones". It also didn't help that people were constantly staring at her with pity in their eyes and whispering. Even her professors were looking at her with sadness and pity. She honestly didn't understand why it was so shocking that she was engaged to Sirius. "I hear congratulations are in order."

She jumped and saw Severus staring at her. "What are you talking about?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's all over the school. No one can seem to shut up about it."

Sam sighed. "Oh that. I don't understand why everyone cares so much about our engagement."

"They care because of the reason why he proposed."

"What are you talking about?"

Severus sneered at her. "How could you do that with me when you're in this situation?"

She groaned. "I wish everyone would stop talking in circles with me! He said he wanted me back and that he loved me! He _wants_ to marry me! What's so wrong about that?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you're pregnant?"

Sam was shocked. "What? I'm not pregnant!"

"Then why else would he have proposed?"

"Sirius loves me! He wants to be with me!"

He was breathing heavily. He was so angry at her for being completely stupid. "How stupid are you? He only said all that because he knows you're pregnant!"

She closed her eyes and groaned in frustration. "I'm _not_ pregnant! Sirius would never just propose because of that! Who told you that I was?"

"I heard Sarah Rudolph tell some of her friends. You should have just told me the truth!"

"I am telling you the truth! She's just saying that because she's mad that he dumped her for me!"

"I don't believe you!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "That's a first! I've always told you the truth and you never believed me! You can think what you want, I don't care! I'm going to find Sarah and set her straight!"

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"What the hell is your problem?"

Sarah looked up and sneered at Sam. "You're my problem, Potter!"

Sam narrowed her eyes. "I've done nothing to you! You're the one that took him away from me! I'm the one that hates you!"

"Oh please! He never loved you and you were just too stupid to realize it!"

"Then why did he say he loved me and missed me? Why did he propose?"

She rolled her eyes. "He got you pregnant, that's why!"

Sam groaned. "I'm not pregnant! Why does everyone think that?"

"You're friends told him that you were! That's why he left me and went back to you! He wants to be with me but feels guilty about knocking you up!"

Sam closed her eyes. It all finally made sense now. He really didn't love her after all. He came back out of guilt. "I'm not pregnant and …" She took off the ring. "I'm not engaged to him. You can have him." Sarah was staring dumbfounded as Sam walked away.

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Sirius was sitting in the common room with Lily. He was smiling brightly and she laughed in spite of herself. "You're actually excited about being a father, aren't you?"

He nodded excitedly. "At first, I was scared shitless! Now, I love the idea! I think it's brilliant! I feel bad for her because she won't be able to finish school." Lily nodded sadly. "What do you think about Sirius Jr. if it's a boy?" He winked at her.

Lily laughed. "I don't know about that. You should see what Sam has to say about it."

Sirius smiled brightly when Sam walked in. his smile quickly faded when he saw the look on her face. "What's the matter?"

Sam glared at him and slammed the ring on the table right in front of him. "Here, you can have this back!"

"W-Why are you giving this back to me?"

She looked like she was about to cry. Lily stared at her closely. "Sam, what's going on?"

James walked down from his room and walked over to them. He sighed when he noticed the looks on their faces. "What's going on now?"

"That's what I'd like to know!" growled Sirius. "Sam, why are you giving back the ring?"

"You mean she's finally come to her senses?" James asked hopefully. He winced when Lily slapped his arm.

"You only proposed because you _heard_ that I was pregnant!" She yelled.

Sirius sighed. "At first, I did, but I meant everything I said to you. Are you upset because Lilac told me before you could?"

"Lilac told you this?" Lilac, Patty, Alice, and Mary walked in and over to them. "Speak of the devil!" The girls looked at her in surprise. "Lilac, how could you tell Sirius that I was pregnant?"

Lilac stammered. Sirius stood up and looked between them. "Sam, why are you getting so upset? You shouldn't be mad at her! I'm excited about it! I honestly am!"

"You are?" James asked in surprise.

Lily smiled at him. "Yes, he is. He wants to call the baby Sirius Jr. if it's a boy." The girls squirmed at hearing this.

"I was only joking about that, Lily." Sirius laughed.

James smiled slowly at Sirius. Sam glared at them all and the girls continued to shift uncomfortably. "Y-You're excited about this?" Alice asked. She just couldn't believe this.

"Of course I am! This is what Sam and I wanted before we broke up. Yes, it's sooner than we planned but we can work it out."

"You really are okay with all of this?" James asked. Sirius nodded. James laughed and gave him a brief hug. "This is excellent! I can't believe it but its brilliant!"

Sam groaned. "Excuse me!" They turned to look at her. "We are forgetting one important thing!"

"What's that?" Lily asked.

"Well, I'm _NOT_ pregnant!"

James laughed. "Oh Sammy, come off it! It's ok…well, it's not because you are too young but everything will be fine. Mum and Dad will be fine with it after some time and after you two get married."

She bit her lip to hold in a scream of frustration. She turned to Lilac. Lilac jumped in surprise at the look on her face. "Was this some sort of pay back for the way I've been acting?"

"S-Sam no! I didn't mean for this to happen! He just made me so mad and I blurted it out! I'm sorry!"

"How could you? You know how I feel about him and you still lied to him!"

Patty sighed. "Sam, calm down! She made a mistake!"

"She didn't mean anything by it!" Mary added.

"Wait! You mean that you really aren't pregnant?" Sirius asked slowly.

Sam sighed in relief. "Thank you for finally catching up!" Sirius looked crestfallen. "Oh Sirius, are you upset because you proposed for nothing? Does it make you angry that you left your little girlfriend for me?"

"Sam, leave him alone!" Lily yelled. "He thought he was doing the right thing!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Sarah told me how he only proposed out of guilt. Well, don't worry, Sirius. I straightened everything out for you. You can go back to Sarah and leave me alone."

"Sam, I'm sorry!" Lilac yelled at her retreating form. Sam sneered and rolled her eyes before leaving.

Sirius looked completely devastated. "I have to go talk to Sam." He muttered.

Lily stopped him. "Sirius, leave her alone. Just let her cool down."

"Are you telling me that you didn't even ask her if she was really pregnant? You just assumed that she was and asked her to marry you?" Sirius blushed and nodded. James laughed and patted him on the back. "That was really stupid, mate."

Lily rolled her eyes. "James, leave him alone. He made a mistake. I don't remember you asking her either!"

He shrugged. "I just assumed that he did."

Alice nudged Lilac in her side and Lilac sighed. "Sirius, I'm sorry about all of this. I never meant for this to happen."

"Don't talk to me!" He growled and went up to his room. James and Lily followed him.

"I'm such a moron!" Lilac muttered.

"Yes, you are." Patty said with a smile. Lilac rolled her eyes.

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Sam wandered around the castle. She couldn't believe her luck. Sirius wanted to be with her again only because he thought that she was pregnant and she was stupid enough to take him back. She mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. She should have known better. She loved him with everything she had and all he ever did was hurt her. She saw Remus walking ahead of her and she ran to him. "Remus!"

Remus looked at her and sneered. "Well, if it isn't the bride-to-be! How's the baby?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not you too!"

"How could you sleep with me when you knew that you're pregnant?"

She stopped him. "I'm not pregnant!"

He looked at her closely. "You're not?"

"I'm not."

"Then why did you agree to marry him? After everything he put you through, why did you say yes?"

Sam sighed. "I don't even remember saying yes. All I do remember is that we were fighting one moment and then I had a ring on my finger the next."

Remus sighed. "Do you still love him?" She looked away and nodded slowly. "How can you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just do. He's been a big part of my life for so long that I just don't know how to let go."

"Did you sleep with me to get back at him for hurting you?"

"I would never use you like that, Remus! I love you too much to do that. I would never tell him about what happened between us. He never has to know."

He winced. "I hate to tell you this but he already knows. He walked in on us."

Sam paled. "H-How do you know that?"

Remus looked away from her. "He mentioned it when we were fighting."

Her eyes widened. "You two fought about _that_?"

He nodded. "We fought…over you."

"Me? Why the hell would you do something stupid like that?"

"It was long overdue. We needed to get it out of our systems. He interfered in our relationship and treated you badly. He was jealous that you loved me and that we slept together. It needed to happen."

Sam rolled her eyes. "That's the stupidest thing that I ever heard! It shouldn't matter to him that I love you and we slept together."

Remus shrugged. "Well, it did." He sighed. "Sam, can I ask you something important?"

"Of course you can."

"If Sirius never interfered in our relationship and if I never cheated on you, do you think that we would still be together?"

Sam nodded. "I like to think so."

"If I asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?"

"Are you proposing? Because I had my fill of that for a while."

He laughed. "No, I'm not. I'm just curious."

She smiled slowly. "If we were still together and you asked me, I would have said yes."

"You really would have?"

"Yes, I would have."

Remus grinned. "Even though you thought you were meant to be with him?"

Sam laughed. "Remus, when I was with you, I only wanted you. Nothing else mattered to me except being with you."

He kissed her. "I love you, Sam. I would have been honored to marry you."

She kissed him back and smiled. "I would have been honored to be with you forever." She touched his cheek and sighed. "You should _never_ doubt the love that I still have for you. You mean so much to me and are a big part of my life. I can't lose you too."

"You'll never lose me, Sam. You don't have to ever worry about that."

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Sam walked out of the potions class room after her tutoring session with Severus was over. She was surprised when he apologized to her for the way he acted. She cut the tutoring short because she wasn't feeling well. She was feeling light headed and put her hand against the wall to steady herself. She really wanted to get back to her room to rest. "Sam!"

She turned and groaned. "Go away, Sirius!"

Sirius ran up to her and held her hand. She pulled her hand away from him and he held up his hands in defense. "I think we should talk about what happened."

Sam rolled her eyes and walked away. "I don't want to talk about that. I just want to be alone."

"We have to!"

"Why should we? You thought that I was pregnant and proposed. I'm not pregnant and we're not engaged. There, we talked about it. Do you feel better? I know I do!"

He groaned. "Why do you have to be like that?"

"Like what? I'm acting normal."

Sirius glared at her. "Sam, I made a mistake! I'm sorry!"

"Which mistake are you talking about? Breaking my heart or thinking that I was pregnant?"

He didn't answer fast enough and she walked away. "For both." He muttered.

She stopped. "What did you say?"

"If you didn't keep walking away from me you would have heard what I said!" She rolled her eyes and continued walking. "I said that I'm sorry for both of those things. Hurting you…I will always regret doing that."

Sam put her hand on the wall again and sighed. She couldn't feel her lips when she bit them. Her vision became blurry and it seemed like that world was spinning like crazy. "That's nice. I just don't believe anything you say to me anymore. I know how you really feel about me. You made it quite clear when you broke up with me. You aren't sorry for anything except having to break up with Sarah."

Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration. "Don't tell me how I feel! I said those things to hurt you! I love-"

"I don't care about how you feel anymore! I _LOATHE_ you! Just leave me alone!"

"Fine! Be that way!" He turned and walked away.

Sam couldn't see. She blindly turned around. She couldn't feel her arms. She was completely terrified. "S-Sirius?"

"What do you want now?" Sirius asked while turning around. His eyes widened in shock. Sam was completely pale. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she started to fall to the ground. He caught her before she hit the floor. He started to shake her. "Sam? Sammy! Wake up!" She wasn't responding and Sirius was getting scared. "Come on, Sammy! Don't do this! Wake up, Sam! Please, wake up!" He gathered her up and cradled her in his arms. He sprinted down the hall and went towards the hospital wing. Remus was walking down the hall ahead of him. "Moony!"

Remus turned around and gasped. "What the hell happened to her?"

Sirius grunted as he passed him. "Get Prongs now! Meet us at the hospital wing!" Remus quickly nodded and went in search of James.

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Madam Pomfrey finished her examination. She said that Sam was under nourished and hadn't been sleeping. All Sam needed was some food and rest. Sirius sat by her side and held her hand. He watched her closely and sighed. Tears filled his eyes but he refused to let them fall. "Sammy, please, be okay." He kissed her hand. "Please, don't leave me. I need you to be ok. I need you in my life." He stared at her sleeping face and sighed once more. "I love you, Sammy. You mean everything to me."

"Sirius?" She murmured.

Sirius perked up. "Sammy?"

Sam sighed. "Sirius?" She fell silent.

"Padfoot?"

Sirius jumped and turned in his seat. Lily, James, and Remus were staring at him closely. "How is she?" Lily asked quietly.

"What happened to her?" James asked. Seeing her looking so pale and weak made him feel scared.

He sighed. "We were in the hall…fighting. She called out to me and passed out. Madam Pomfrey said that she would be fine. Sam just needs to sleep and eat more. She hasn't been really taking care of herself and it took a toll on her body. She has to spend the night but she will be fine in the morning."

"It was a good thing you were there, mate." Remus said.

Sirius slightly smiled. "I don't know about that. If we weren't fighting maybe this wouldn't have happened."

James sat down next to him and watched his sister closely. "It would have happened either way. It's not your fault." Sirius nodded slowly. "I'd hate to think what would have happened to her if you weren't there."

He shrugged. "I'm sure someone would have found her."

James sighed. "Look, mate, about what I said to you-"

Sirius stopped him. "Don't worry about it. I deserved it."

Madam Pomfrey walked over to them and smiled. "I'm sorry but it's time to go back to your house. Samantha needs her rest." They nodded and had one last look at Sam before leaving.

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There was a bright white haze everywhere. Sam walked slowly around and took in her surroundings. She didn't know where she was but she didn't care. This place made her feel safe and at ease. She saw a floor length mirror and stood in front of it. She smiled brightly when she saw that she was wearing a beautiful sleeveless white wedding gown. She had no idea why she was wearing it but it just seemed to make sense. Her long wavy hair swept across her back as she spun around in front of the mirror. Sam sighed happily and smiled when she heard his voice. "Sammy? Is that you?"

Sam turned around and her smile widened. "Sirius?" He stared at her closely before hugging her tightly. "You're finally here!"

Sirius couldn't believe his eyes. She was actually standing in front of him. "I-Is it really you?" He whispered.

She lightly laughed and touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "It's really me, Baby."

He held onto her like he never wanted to let her go and started to cry. "I-I've missed you so much, Sammy! Nothing's been right since you went away."

She bit her lip and smiled. "I didn't go away, Baby. I never left you. I was always with you." She put her hand over his heart. "Right here." She smiled gently at him. "Do you remember what I told you?"

Sirius placed his hand on top of hers and nodded. "The ones we love never truly leave us. They are always in our hearts."

Sam nodded. She kissed him and sighed happily when he rested her forehead on hers. "That's right, Baby. So you see I never really went away. I never left you."

He traced her face lightly with his fingers and slowly smiled. "You look so beautiful. You look exactly the same."

She looked at him closely and started to giggle. "Sirius, you look so…old!" He let out a barking laugh. She slowly touched his face and he closed his eyes and smiled with content. "You have little wrinkles around your eyes and…is that a gray streak?" Sirius slowly smiled and nodded. Sam bit her lip and let out a small laugh. "How'd you get to be so old?"

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He kissed her as he picked her up and spun around. She squeaked out a gasp of glee and held him tightly and took in his scent. "I've missed you so damn much! Never leave me again, Sammy!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Sirius. You're stuck with me forever!"

"I was never stuck with you. I've only ever wanted to be with you. You mean everything to me. I've missed you, Sammy."

Sam smiled slowly. "I've missed you too. Now we can always be together!" Sirius smiled brightly. "I love you, Sirius."

He kissed her deeply. "I love you too, Sammy." He looked into her eyes and kissed her once again. "There's so much I have to tell you. There's so much that you have to know."

Sam put her fingers to his lips and smiled when he kissed them. "It doesn't matter, Sirius. All that matters is that we are together again."

Sirius traced her lips with his fingers. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry for the mistakes that I've made when it came to you. All I ever wanted to do was be with you and now, I am. You mean everything to me."

She had tears in her eyes and held him closely. He played with her hair and lightly kissed her neck. "You really mean that, Sirius?" He nodded. "I love you so much! I've missed you! You've been away from me for far too long!"

"I am here with you now, Sammy. That's all that matters to me."

Sam closed her eyes and sighed happily when he once again rested his forehead against hers. "I love you forever, Sirius!"

"Samantha."

She stiffened when the mysterious voice hissed her name. Sam opened her eyes and silently screamed. An oddly pale bald man stood in front of her and Sirius was nowhere to be found. She tried to run away but his bony pale fingers wrapped around her neck and gripped it tightly. She struggled as he lifted her off of the ground by her neck and brought her closer to his face. Her eyes widened in fear as she looked into his red snake like eyes. His reptilian nostrils flared as he coldly smiled at her. A shiver ran down her spine. Sam dug her nails into his arm and tried to claw herself free. "It's your fault that their dead." He hissed. She let out a pathetic whimper and fought harder to break free. "It's your fault that their dead, Samantha."

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Sam woke up screaming. 


	35. Chapter 34: Letters From The Edge

Author's Note: Ramblings of an over tired mind (Please, be easy on me. Took a couple of days to type it all out and I had extra homework and extra shifts at work…Angellove is very tired!) Ok, In Dreams Part II, Sam agreeing to marry Sirius and Sirius acting all…unlike Sirius, I needed the conflict and that was the only way for it happen. Plus, it amused me to think about Sirius being all touchy feely and concerned about the non existent baby. But you also have to understand that as much as Sam hates Sirius, she still loves him very much and wants him back…to a certain degree. A big part of her wants him back more than life itself while the other part of her, the losing part, wants him to just stop torturing her. I hope this made sense. This is in response to an anonymous reviewer…I hope this didn't come off as bitchy. That's not my intention. I just wanted them to know why I put that particular part in the story. Also, this is going to be the last chapter for a bit. I've decided to take a bit of a break. I wrote a bunch of filler chapters and the one I'm working on now is really hard to get through. There is a big situation that I'm leading up to and I have to plan it all out. Dodges furniture I hope you understand and aren't too upset. I promise to not take too long of a break. Chapter 37 is killing me and my brain is fried. I love writing this story but sometimes it hurts my head. Any suggestions? I'd love some feedback! Well, you won't like this chapter that much. I sort of do. I like the idea I have but it was hard to get what I wanted on paper. This is like the thirtieth rewrite, no lie! I hope it isn't too terrible to read. Anyway, try to enjoy this chapter! I forgot to mention that I wanted to thank the anonymous reviewers. I appreciate your reviews and that you like my story. Also, when you find out about Sam's dreams, don't roll your eyes too much. I wrote this late at night and I don't feel like changing it. Plus, I'm not that creative! One more thing, when you find out about Sam's dreams you will realize that yes; I'm a huge Buffy fan. I'm an even bigger Angel fan! Charisma Carpenter, who I picture Sam to look like, in case you were wondering, is my girl! I absolutely love her: P

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Chapter 34: Letters From The Edge.

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"Potter! Wake up!"

James groaned and swatted at the hands that were shaking him. "Ten more minutes, Mum! Go wake up Sammy first!"

Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes and shook him harder. "Potter, wake up at once!"

He jumped up in surprise and blindly reached for his glasses. He put them on and gasped. He pulled the covers up to his chest and gaped at her. "P-Professor, what are you doing here?"

She held in a smile and sighed sadly. "You need to come with me at once."

"What's going on?" Sirius grumbled while rubbing his eyes.

"Is it time for classes?" Remus asked sleepily while Peter let out a great big snore.

They gasped in surprise at the sight of her in their room and brought their covers up to their chests. "P-Professor, what are you doing here?" They asked in unison.

Professor McGonagall smiled at them. "Don't worry, go back to sleep." She turned to look at James. "James, you need to come with me to the hospital wing right now."

"Is there something wrong with my sister?"

"There's no time to waste." The boys got out of bed but she stopped Remus and Sirius. "I only need Potter to come with me."

James stood next to her and sighed. "If there's something wrong with Sam then they should come as well. We're all concerned for her."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Potter. Only you can come."

James followed her out the door after giving them knowing looks and mouthed. "Bring Lily with you." They nodded quickly.

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James walked quickly next to Professor McGonagall and felt an overwhelming urge of fear. He didn't know what was going on and wished that she would just tell him. "Professor, what's the matter? What's wrong with Sam?"

They were getting closer to the hospital wing and she stopped at his questions. Professor McGonagall sighed when she looked at him. "I wish I knew, Potter. Samantha…Madam Pomfrey was checking on her and…Madam Pomfrey quickly went to Professor Dumbledore. He sent me to bring you to her." James looked fearfully at her. "We do not know what's wrong with her. The headmaster went to get your parents. Try not to be scared when you see her."

He went pale. "I-Is she d-dead, Professor?"

They continued walking and before she could answer, they heard Sam screaming. James started to run and didn't stop despite Professor McGonagall yelling after him. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to his sister when he heard her screams. He ran through the doors and suddenly stopped. He saw Madam Pomfrey trying her best to hold Sam down as she flailed around in bed, screaming bloody murder. Madam Pomfrey looked up and gave him a grave smile. "Samantha has been yelling for you."

James' face twisted in anguish. He slowly walked over to them and gulped as Sam yelled his name. "James! Where are you? James!" She shrieked.

He stood over his sister's bed and couldn't believe his eyes. She looked utterly terrified as she fought against Madam Pomfrey. Sam was screaming so loud that his ears started to ring. He looked over when he heard the door close. Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were looking at him intently. He turned back to his sister. "S-Sammy?" He whispered.

Professor Dumbledore looked at Professor McGonagall. "Minerva, their parents should be in my office by now. If you could please escort them down here? Poppy, could you please go with Minerva? He needs to be alone with his sister." The women nodded and quickly left. Professor Dumbledore smiled encouragingly at James. "Talk to her. She needs to hear your voice."

Sam groaned and screamed loudly. James cautiously sat down next to his sister and grabbed a hold of her hands. "S-Sammy, I'm here. You don't need to look for me anymore. I'm here, Sammabelle."

She clung to him and cried. "James, is that you?"

He looked fearfully at Professor Dumbledore, who continued to smile encouragingly. "I-It's me, Sammy. You don't have to worry."

"He's going to kill us all." She whimpered.

James' eyes widened in fear. Sam was holding on to him so tight that he couldn't breath. "What are you talking about? Who's going to kill?"

"He's going to kill us all!" Sam yelled. James held her closely. She continued to scream and cry hysterically. "He's going to kill us one by one! There's no escaping him!"

His eyes filled with tears. She refused to calm down. He rubbed her back and let out a shaky breath. She was scaring him. "N-No one's going to get us. We're safe as long as Dumbledore is with us."

"It's all my fault! We're dead and it's all my fault!"

"W-We're not dead, Sammy. We are very much alive." James muttered into her ear.

Sam whimpered. "Don't leave me, James. Don't go away."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you."

She went limp in his arms and fell back down on the bed. Her wide eyes were filled with tears and her mouth opened and closed in silent screams. James turned his head to look at Professor Dumbledore but he was gone. He looked down at her and saw her hands clenched together. He shook in fear as she continued to see an invisible horror. James' chin trembled as he watched her. "Prongs?"

James jumped in surprise. He turned and saw Remus, Sirius, and Lily looking at him expectantly. "When did you get here?" He muttered as he turned back to Sam.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Just now. Professor Dumbledore let us in. What's going on? We heard Sam screaming."

They cautiously walked over and surrounded the bed. They gasped in surprise at the sight of her. Sam let out a small whimper. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault." She whispered.

"What's wrong with her?" Remus whispered.

James shrugged. "I-I don't know. She was screaming when I came in. She's only just…calmed down." He gulped back tears and sighed when Lily rested her hand on his shoulder. "She was yelling for me. I wasn't here when she needed me."

Lily held onto him as he let out a silent cry. Sirius and Remus shared a look and went back to staring at Sam. "You didn't know, James. It's not your fault." She murmured. James clung to her as he cried.

The doors busted open and Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore walked in and were followed by Madam Pomfrey and Mr. and Mrs. Potter. "What are you three doing here and out of bed?" Professor McGonagall demanded.

"I let them in, Minerva. They are concerned about Samantha." Professor Dumbledore answered calmly.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter ran over to the bed. They gasped in shock at the sight of their only daughter. "Samantha?" Mrs. Potter whispered.

Sam groaned. "He's going to kill us! We're not safe anywhere!"

She started to move around again but James quickly hugged her. "You're safe, Sammy. We'll protect you."

Mr. Potter glared at Professor Dumbledore. "What have you done to her? What's happened to my little girl?"

"Dad!" "Harold!" James and Mrs. Potter yelled in unison.

He turned to stare at them. His voice cracked when he looked at his daughter. "She was fine before she came here! What has happened to my little Sammy?"

James let his sister lay down. Her eyes were still wide with fear and she continued the silent screaming. They walked away from the bed but kept a close eye on her. "Dad, it's not Professor Dumbledore's fault! It's mine! I haven't been taking care of her like I should have been." James hissed.

"It's alright, James." Professor Dumbledore said. "Your father is understandably upset."

"Professor, sir? What's wrong with her?" Lily muttered.

He sighed. "I do not know."

Mrs. Potter looked at her daughter with guilt written all over her face. "Samantha needs to go to St. Mungo's at once. They can help her."

Mr. Potter quickly walked over to his daughter and scooped her up in his arms. "Please be okay, Sammy." He muttered into her ear.

Professor Dumbledore led the Potters toward the door. James stared at them in desperation as they took his sister away. Sam started screaming and flailing in her father's arms. "James! James, don't leave me!"

Mr. Potter tried to comfort her. James looked at his friends sadly before running over to them. "I'm still here, Sammy. I'm coming with you."

They walked out the door and the silence put pressure on Remus, Sirius, and Lily's ears. Professor McGonagall turned to them. She looked as pale as they did. "I will escort you back to your house."

They walked in silence and when she left, they stayed in the common room. "What the hell just happened?" Remus asked in a small voice. Lily and Sirius stared at him and shook their heads slowly. They had no idea what just happened but they knew for a fact that it terrified the hell out of them.

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James watched as the healers took his sister out of his father's arms and into a private room. His chin trembled when he heard her start screaming again. He went to the door but his father held him back. "Let the healers try to help her." His father muttered.

Mr. Potter rested his hand on his son's shoulder and stared blankly at the closed door. His little girl was on the other side calling for them but there was nothing he could do about it. His eyes filled with tears when he heard her pleas grow even more desperate. A group of healers rushed in and out of the room and they looked beside themselves. Mr. Potter's heart broke when he heard Sam call out for him. "Daddy! Daddy, please, help me! Don't let them hurt me! Don't let him get me!"

James hugged his father tightly as he began to cry. Mrs. Potter walked away from Professor Dumbledore and embraced them. Another wave of healers walked past them, their hands were filled with potions and leather straps. "W-What are they going to do to her?" James muttered.

Mrs. Potter sighed. "They are going to give her some potions to calm her down. They need the restraints to make her stop fighting them."

James jumped in surprise when they heard one of the healers yelp in pain and Sam was screaming for him again. "Jimmybean, where are you?" She sounded so scared and he could only cry. He held onto his parents tightly and had to resist the urge to run through the door to help her. James heard the healers try to calm Sam down but she wouldn't. She kept calling for them. "Mama! Daddy! James!" She shrieked. He bit his lip and groaned. The healers were making things worse by not letting him in there. "James!" James gritted his teeth. He pulled away from his parents and ran through the door.

His breath caught in his throat. She was kicking her legs and throwing punches. She was terrified out of her mind and seemed to be fighting for her life. Three healers held her down as best they could as they put the restraints on her. "Stop it! You're hurting my sister!" James yelled.

Sam let out a loud groan as the healers turned in surprise. "You can't be in here!" yelled an elderly man.

James pushed past them and glared. "I don't care! She needs me!" Sam kicked a young looking man in the chest and he grunted. James went next to her and he fought against her and yelled to get her attention. "Sam! Sammy! Sammabelle, I'm here now!"

She went limp and stopped fighting. Her eyes opened weakly and she began to cry. "I knew you would find me. I knew you would come to protect me. I knew you would." She muttered.

The healers stared in shock. They looked at her cautiously before leaving. A woman healer sighed and looked at him closely. "I have to give her this potion."

"I'll give it to her." James grunted.

She nodded. "She has to drink the whole bottle to calm her down completely."

She left and James took the bottle in his hands and sighed. "Sammy, you need to drink this. It will help you sleep."

Sam shook her head. "I-I can't. He's waiting for me to go back to sleep. He's going to hurt me."

James bit back a sob. "No, he won't. I'm going to stay with you and I won't let him hurt you."

She let him help her up and she drank the entire potion. She laid back down and whimpered. "You won't leave me, will you?"

"I'm going to stay right next to you the entire time."

"I'm scared, Jimmybean." She yawned. "I'm scared to go to sleep. I'm scared that I won't ever see you again if I go to sleep."

He got into bed with her and cradled her as she cried. He cried into her hair and kissed her head. "I'm scared too, Sammy." Sam held onto him tightly and he rubbed her back. "You just have to close your eyes and rest. I'll be here when you wake up. Just like I used to do when we were kids. Nothing will take me away from you. I won't let that ever happen." She nodded slowly and fell asleep. He cried harder as he held her. He didn't know what was wrong with her but he wished whatever happened would just go away.

"James?"

He turned his head and saw his parents and Professor Dumbledore staring at him closely. "She's finally calmed down." They nodded slowly. "What's wrong with her?"

"Let's go out into the hall to discuss this." Mrs. Potter suggested.

James shook his head. "I promised her that I would stay with her until she woke up. I can't just leave her."

They stood across the room and James reluctantly got out of bed. His mother wrapped her arms around him while his father paled at the sight of Sam. "You know how Sammy has been having nightmares since she was little?" James nodded slowly. Mrs. Potter bit her lip. "Professor Dumbledore, why don't you tell them?"

James and Mr. Potter looked at her in surprise. "You know what's wrong with her?" Mr. Potter grunted at his wife. She nodded slowly.

"When Samantha was going through that troubling time-"

His father cut Professor Dumbledore off. "What troubling time? What the hell is going?"

Mrs. Potter sighed. "Let him speak, dear."

Professor Dumbledore looked gravely at them. "Samantha was having some difficulties after her break up with Sirius-"

"She was with Sirius?" Mr. Potter yelled.

James groaned. "Dad, let him finish!"

"Samantha was sent to my office and the topic of her dreams came up. She confided in me that they seemed to be getting worse and she was afraid to go to sleep. I told her that I would look into them." Professor Dumbledore sighed before continuing. "It came to my attention that she is a dream seer."

"What the hell is that?" James and Mr. Potter demanded.

"It means that she has visions. They can only come to her when she sleeps. Dream seers are very rare and young girls are the only ones that inherit them."

"What do you mean _inherit_? No one in my family is a dream seer! I would have known!" Mr. Potter yelled.

"My mother was one." Mrs. Potter looked away from them. "I found out after her death." She sighed. "It skips a generation, that's why I'm not one."

"Your mother? You told me that she was just nutters!"

She began to weep. "I thought she was too! It wasn't until after her death that my father told me the truth. He thought I deserved to know because I was pregnant with Samantha." She wept harder. "My mother got worse as the years went on and…when she saw her own death…" She trailed off when her cries became too much.

James paled. "Do you mean that Sam saw her death?"

"We will not know until Samantha wakes up. She is the only one that knows what she was." Professor Dumbledore answered. "When she wakes, I will speak to her."

James looked at his mother and Professor Dumbledore like he'd never seen them before. "You knew this would happen to her! You knew and did nothing to help her!" He turned to his mother and glared. "This is all your fault! You knew what she was and didn't do a damn thing to help her! She's crazy because of your mother!"

Mr. Potter held his wife while she cried. "James, I know that you're upset, so am I, but you can't blame your mother for this. She didn't know about the type of dreams Sam has been having until tonight."

She gulped. "That's not true. I learned about them a month after James first left for Hogwarts. She told me about this dream she had the night before James left. She saw herself, James, Lily, and Sirius all together. Sam said it was more like a photograph rather than a dream. That's how she knew she was meant to be with Sirius."

Mr. Potter pulled away from his wife and gritted his teeth. "What else don't I know? I didn't know that she was going out with Sirius, I didn't know that they broke up, I didn't know that she was going through a tough time and I didn't know about this! What else haven't you told me? She _is_ my daughter, isn't she?" (_Author's Note: This line is a result of watching too much Lifetime Moment of Truth movies. Beware! They are addictive!_)

"Dad, don't talk to mum like that! _I_ didn't even know she was dating Sirius until the first week of school. They didn't tell anyone!"

"They told me." She muttered. "They wanted my blessing."

James groaned. "So much for trying to help you."

Professor Dumbledore stared at them intently. "It's no one's fault about Samantha's condition. There aren't many accounts of dream seers. The only reports of them say that…they _might_ eventually go insane depending on how young they start receiving them."

Mr. Potter looked at his daughter closely. "S-She started having really bad dreams when she was six."

Professor Dumbledore nodded. "That's what Samantha told me. There are potions that have recently been developed to help her. If she takes the potions and continues to clear her mind before she goes to sleep then I see no reason why she can't change her fate."

"Have you given her any of these potions?" Mrs. Potter asked quietly.

"Samantha refused to take them and only agreed to clear her mind. After tonight, I will insist that she begin taking the potions."

Sam whimpered and started moving around. "James?"

James quickly ran over to his sister and held her hand. "I'm here, Sammy. I'm not going anywhere just like I promised."

She gave him a sleepy smile. "I love my Jimmybean. He's my great protector."

He lightly laughed. "I love my Sammabelle. She keeps me on my toes." She let out a small laugh before falling back to sleep. He turned his head and stared at the three adults that crowded around the bed. "Professor Dumbledore, sir?"

"Yes, James?"

"I have to stay with her. I have to make sure that she will be alright. Is it okay if I stay with her?"

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "You may stay the night. I will inform your teachers. When she wakes up and she becomes calm, you must return. She will need time and rest away from everyone."

James nodded. They left and he sighed as he got into bed beside his sister. He held her closely to him and cried. He couldn't believe that she knew about this and didn't say a word. He knew that there was nothing he could do but he could have tried to figure out some way to help her. "You were trying to protect me, weren't you?" He whispered. "You didn't want me to worry about you anymore than I already do." Sam sighed in her sleep and he closed his eyes. "You don't have to worry anymore, Sammy. I'm going to protect you. Somehow, I'm going to do that."

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Lily, Remus, and Sirius were really worried about James and Sam. Classes were over and they were nowhere to be found. People came up to them and asked where they were but all they did was shrug in response. They knew where they were but they didn't feel that it was necessary to let others know the truth. They walked in silence up to the boys' room to see if James and Sam had returned. They saw him huddled on the window seat and they walked over to him. "James?" Lily whispered.

James jumped in surprise. He had tears falling down his face and his chin trembled at the sight of them. "I-I didn't hear you come in."

They sat around him and stared closely. "What's going on, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"Where's Peter?"

Remus sighed. "He had to stay after class with Professor Flitwick. He accidentally charmed his shoe and it began attacking him." James lightly laughed. "What's going on with Sam?"

He stared blankly out of the window and sighed. "Sam used to always follow me around when we were younger. I used to call her my unwanted shadow. She would say that I was her best friend and that best friends did everything together. No matter what was going on, they had to stick together."

Sirius cleared his throat. "What's this all about, mate?"

James let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding in. "She looked so small and fragile. She just wouldn't stop screaming. They tried to give her potions to calm her down but nothing seemed to work. Sam kept screaming for me and my parents and even kicked one of the healers that tried to hold her down. They finally realized that she needed me. I ran into her room and she started to calm down. I had to force her to take a potion to make her sleep. She said she was scared to sleep because there was a chance she would never see me again. I sat with her for a while before she finally went to sleep." They let him take his time getting his story out. He looked so scared and angry. "What I'm about to tell you can't leave this room. We can't even tell Peter." They nodded in agreement and he continued. "When Sam finally calmed down, Professor Dumbledore talked to us. He told us about her dreams. He said that he found the reason why she has been having them."

He stopped talking and sighed. "What did he say?" Lily asked quietly.

James' face twisted in anger and pain. "He said that Sam was something called a dream seer."

The boys looked confused as Lily gasped. "But they are rare!"

He looked at her sadly. "That's what he said. It's hereditary. It skips a generation and only girls become them. My grandmother was apparently one. Sam got it from her." James growled. "My mother and Dumbledore knew this would happen to her and they did nothing to help her! They sat back and watched as she went insane!"

They jumped when he yelled. Lily sighed. "James, there aren't many accounts of dream seers. They wouldn't know how to help her."

James cried. "They had to use restraints to hold her down! She begged to see me but they wouldn't listen until I ran in there. She was screaming and crying so loud. She was so scared to be there alone with those strangers. I-I had to hold her down because the restraints weren't doing anything to help. They seemed to make things worse until she realized that I was there."

"What's going to happen to her?" Sirius asked in a small voice.

He shrugged. "I don't know. She has to stay there for some time to rest." He groaned as he continued to cry. "I-I'm not allowed to see her. Dumbledore said that she needed to be away from everyone to get better. My parents are still with her but I had to return here. She needs me but I can't be there."

Remus sighed. "Sam's going to be fine, Prongs."

James gritted his teeth. "You didn't see her! You didn't hear her screaming! How do you know that she is going to be fine?"

"I-I don't. I just have to believe it." He muttered.

Lily hugged him tightly. "Remus is right, James. Sam will be fine. She'll get the help that she needs and she'll be back here with us soon enough."

He sighed. "I really wish I could believe that. You didn't see her fighting the healers. It seemed like she was fighting for her life. I just need her to be alright. I need her here so I can protect her."

Sirius sighed. "She'll be here soon enough. Sam's a fighter. She won't let this get her down."

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Sirius woke up in a cold sweat. He had that dream about Sam again. It started the previous night after she went to St. Mungo's. They were in an abandoned park, dancing as snow flakes fell down around them. He held her close to him and felt at peace. She looked at him with such longing and he felt his heart swell when they kissed. Everything seemed to be perfect between them and that's when she would start to yell at him. Sam screamed at him for being a coward and for breaking her heart. She blamed her insanity and her condition on him. All he could do was stare at her and cry. Sirius would plead with her to listen but she would repeatedly slap him and continue to yell. Sirius sighed as he sat up in bed. It had only been a day since she was sent away but he could honestly say that he missed her terribly. She was on his mind constantly that he was surprised he got any of his work done. "Couldn't sleep, Padfoot?"

Sirius jumped in surprise. He looked up and saw James staring at him. He shook his head. "No, I couldn't. I was thinking about Sam."

James sadly smiled. "So was I."

He got out of his bed and sat across from James. "D-Do you think it's my fault that this happened to her?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't. It's no one's fault. Sam just got the short end of the stick. If she was a boy, this wouldn't have happened to her."

"If she was a boy, I'd be really confused about my feelings for her."

James laughed. "That's very true. Why do you think it's your fault?"

Sirius sighed. "Well, if I didn't propose and we didn't fight…I just thought if none of those things happened then she wouldn't have been sent away. If I didn't break up with her then she would still be here with us…" He sighed again. "I want you to know how sorry I am for putting her through all that."

James' jaw clenched but he nodded slowly. "I know you are. What you did, it wasn't right but I know that you care for her." Sirius nodded slowly. "W-Why did you do that to her?"

He looked away from him. "I can honestly say that it was for a very stupid reason. I made her all these promises of marriage and children. I told her that I would wait until she finishes school to marry her. She was surprised as hell when I brought it up but she said yes to it all." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Once we got back here, I started to feel trapped. It wasn't her fault but I made her believe it was. Sam was so open about loving me and I've never experienced something like that before. It was all too much to take for someone like me. I was too scared to let her in despite feeling the same way."

He rolled his eyes. "That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard."

"I know. I was a coward. I fully admit to it. She was the best thing to ever happen to me and I blew it because of fear."

"Why didn't you just tell her?"

Sirius shrugged. "I didn't want to hurt her." James rolled his eyes again. "But I hurt her anyway. The way I treated her and the way I broke up with her, it's unforgivable. It's understandable why she hates me. I'd hate me too."

James was silent for a moment before speaking. "She had one of her dream visions about you before I left for Hogwarts."

Sirius looked up in surprise. "S-She what?"

He sighed. "My_ mother_ told me last night. She said that Sam had this dream…actually more like a photograph into the future. It was you, me, Lily, and Sam smiling and waving together. She had it before I left. When she saw you at King's Cross the next day, she realized that the person in her dream and you were the same person."

He couldn't believe it. He honestly never understood why Sam always thought that they were meant to be. Now, that James told him the reason why, he had no idea what to think. "That's why she kissed me that day? That's why she said we would be best friends?" James nodded slowly. "That makes no sense at all! Why would she think that after having one dream? Did she know what she was then?"

"No, she didn't. She found out after she helped Moony with his Hannah problem. When she had that dream about you and then met you, she just got this feeling. She told Mum that when she met you, she knew you were the one for her."

Sirius groaned. "Sam knew since she was ten that she loved me. It took me five years to finally figure out that I always felt the same way. It took me so long to realize it and so little to ruin it." James nodded. "She hates me now. After everything I did to her, she will never forgive me." He shrugged and sighed. "I've really made a mess of things, haven't I?"

James slightly smiled. "Yeah, you did. You shouldn't worry though. Sam loves you, Padfoot. She'll never give up on you."

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It had been three days since Sam was sent away and James would get daily updates from his parents about Sam's recovery. She was still screaming on and off during the day but it wouldn't last long. She was slowly getting better and he felt a small sense of relief at that. He missed her like crazy and just wanted her back where he could keep an eye on her. He had to see for himself that she was going to be okay. He was sitting at breakfast when the post came. He saw his parents' owl fly towards him and he sighed. A part of him was excited to see how much progress his sister was making while another part of him dreaded that there was bad news. He was surprised to see that there was two letters tied to the owl's legs. He quickly read his parents' letter and then stared at the other envelope. A big smile appeared on his face. "Hey guys!" Remus, Lily, and Sirius looked at him in surprise. "I got a letter from Sam!"

Their eyes widened in surprise and smiled brightly. "What does it say?" Lily asked excitedly. James carefully opened the letter and they scooted closer to listen.

"_Dear James,_

_My jailors have refused to let me use a pen to write to anyone…_"

They shared a laugh and rolled their eyes. "Leave it to her to think that she is being held captive." Remus said with a smile.

"_I wanted to write to you to let you know how I'm doing. Mum and Dad told me that they have been giving you daily reports about me but I thought that you would find more comfort if I told you how I was doing…_"

James smiled. "She knows me too well."

"_I can honestly say that this place sucks._" They laughed. "_The next time I go crazy, can you arrange for me to go somewhere with a view?_" James sighed sadly. "_They think that I'll jump out of the window if I had a view._" Lily laughed and rolled her eyes. "_I miss you terribly. All I think about is leaving this terrible place and going back to school._"

Sirius sighed. "Do you really think it's that bad where she is?"

James shrugged. "She's probably just bored being there without us to entertain her."

"_How is everyone? Tell them I say hello. It's dreadfully boring being here without you Marauders and Lily around to entertain me._"

"See what I told you?" James laughed.

"_I hope that you aren't too worried about me. Ha-ha, I almost forgot who I was writing to._" Sirius smiled. He was glad that she seemed to still have her sense of humor. "_You don't have to worry, big brother. Little sister is going to be just fine. They say that I'm slowly getting better. I should be back at Hogwarts in no time._" They shared a sigh of relief. "_I wanted to thank you for being there for me when I needed you most. It really meant a lot. You were always the one that could calm me down._"

James sadly smiled at that. Lily patted his knee. "Keep reading, James."

"_I honestly think that being sent here was what I needed. I need some time to work some things out and that's what I've been trying to do. I'm slowly getting better and I hope that you find comfort in reading that._"

Sirius smiled. "Well, at least she is trying to get better."

"_They told me that you found out about what I am and I hope that you aren't terribly upset that I wasn't the one to tell you. It wasn't that I didn't trust you. I trust you with my life! I just didn't completely understand everything about my condition and didn't think that I was able to explain it completely to you._"

"I still don't truly understand." James muttered.

"_I'm sure that you told the other about everything. Don't worry, I'm fine with it. I just hope that they won't become weird around me when I return._"

Lily rolled her eyes. "She should know better than that."

"_I'm positive that you will show this letter to them and Lily will roll her eyes and say I should know better._" Lily blushed and they laughed. "_James, I'm going to be fine. I'll be back with you and our friends soon enough. Professor Dumbledore and I had a little talk about everything. He has been visiting me everyday and convinced me to start taking the potions to help me. He snuck in some parchment and a quill so that I could write to you. He told me to tell you and the others to tell people that I got really sick and had to be sent here to get better. I hope you don't mind doing that._"

"I don't mind." James muttered to the letter.

"_I hope that you are able to write back to me. I'd really love to hear from you. You can tell the others to write to me as well, if they wish to. It would feel like I was there with you. Well, I better go. I hear some of my jailors outside the door. I hope to hear from you soon. Love always, Sammy._"

James sighed as he folded the letter and put it in his pocket. "She seems to be a bit better."

"Yes, she does." Lily said. "Do you feel better?"

He nodded slowly. "I do. I still wish that she was here with us though." He slightly smiled. "Are you lot going to write to her?" They nodded.

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It had been a week since Sam was sent away. Everyone had written to her except Sirius. He didn't know what to write. He sat down in the common room every night after her letter arrived trying to think of some pleasing words to send her way but nothing came to mind. He wanted to write her a long letter of apology and love but he didn't know where to start. He wanted to tell her so many things but he didn't know how to put it down on paper. How can you write down how you feel when it was still jumbled around in your head and heart? Sirius sighed as he picked up his quill and began to write.

"_Dear Sammy,_

_I'm sorry that it took me a couple of days to write to you. I've been sitting in the common room every night after your letter arrived trying to think of something to write to you. I'm glad to hear that you are trying your best to get better and get back to us as soon as possible. We miss you so much and can't wait for your return. You really scared us that night and we feel better at the thought that you are trying to get back on track._

_I've never been as scared in my entire life as I was when I saw you in the hospital wing. The thought of losing you and the memory of that night still haunt my mind. I'll feel better when you are finally back here with us. To see you again would be the greatest relief._

_I hope you know how much you truly mean to us. We love you, Sammy. We couldn't bare it if you never came back to us…I want you to know how truly sorry I am for what happened between us. I guess you are right about me. I am a coward. I've only found the courage to confess my true feelings to you when you aren't around. I don't want to be a coward anymore. I want to tell you everything. I want you to know what's been going on. We used to be very close before I screwed everything up and I want us to go back to the way things used to be. You'll see that I truly mean this when you come back._

_I just want you to know that you are my rock. You help keep my grounded when I act like an ass, which isn't a small portion of the time. I'll always love you, Sammy. I hope you know that. You mean everything to me and I'll prove to you how sorry I am about what I did. We used to be friends and we used to know how to be around each other before I screwed up. I miss that. I miss our closeness that we once shared._

_I better cut this letter short. I don't want to bore you with all this mushy bullshit. Just promise me that you will think about what I wrote. Think about how we used to be together. Love, Sirius._"

Sirius sighed and gulped as he read over the letter. He really hoped that she understood what he meant. He wanted her back and he wanted her to love him again. He wanted her.

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Lily sat down in the library and sighed. She couldn't believe that it had been an entire week since Sam went away. It seemed like forever. She missed her best friend. They had only just become friends again when she went away. Lily knew that it was selfish to want her to return before she fully recovered but she didn't care. She wanted Sam back there with them. She wanted to see her to make sure that she was truly ok. A shadow was cast over her books and she looked up. She was surprised to see Severus Snape looking down at her. Lily eyed him curiously before speaking. "Hello Severus." He nodded. She had an urge to roll her eyes. "Do you need something?"

Severus opened his mouth to speak but he stopped. He looked away from her close stare and sighed. "I was wondering where Samantha was. We have tutoring sessions and she is nowhere to be found."

Lily inwardly groaned. "Haven't you heard?" He shook head. "She got really sick and had to be sent to St. Mungo's to recover."

She was surprised to see a flash of concern come across his face. "Is she going to be alright?" He mumbled.

She nodded slowly. "She will be fine. She should return soon." She smiled when he looked relieved. "Do you…miss her, Severus?"

Severus stared at her closely. "That's the most absurd thing that I've ever heard. I am being forced to tutor her and wanted to know where she was. I don't have to waste my time if she doesn't see it necessary to take care of herself long enough to take her studies seriously."

Lily grinned. "You care about her, don't you?"

He glared at her. "I do not! I just said that I only tutor her!"

"Tutor her in what exactly?"

"What do you mean by that?"

She glared right back at him. "I know about what happened between the two of you. I know what you did in those _tutoring_ sessions."

When he looked away and blushed, she almost fell over in surprise. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Come off it, Severus! It won't hurt you to admit that you are worried about her. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. We have been writing to her almost everyday. It seems to help her."

Severus sighed. "Why would I want to write to her? I don't care what happens to her."

Lily rolled her eyes as she packed up her things. "I don't have time for this. Do what you want. I don't care."

She left and he let out a loud sigh. He was actually concerned about her health and to hear that she had been sent to St. Mungo's made him extremely worried. He felt a sense of relief when Lily said that she would be fine. He still wasn't going to write to her. That would be too much. He sat down at one of the tables and without realizing it, he began to write. "_Dear Samantha…_"

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Lily walked into common room and sighed. She couldn't believe how Sam put up with Severus. He was one of the most frustrating people to talk to. He obviously concerned about her and she didn't understand why he couldn't just admit it. "Hello Lily. Why such the long face?"

She turned around and smiled. James wrapped his arms around her while Sirius, Remus, and Peter stared at her. "I just had the most frustrating conversation with Severus. I honestly don't understand how Sam puts up with him."

James sneered. "Did he do something to you?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, he didn't. He just asked about Sam."

Sirius growled. "Why was he asking about her?"

Lily shrugged. "He was concerned about her. It's so obvious that he cares about her. I just don't understand why he can't admit it."

"Because he knows she's too good for him." Sirius grumbled.

Remus rolled his eyes. "They are just friends, Padfoot. There's no reason to get jealous."

He shared a look with Lily that didn't go unnoticed. James' eyes widened. "I-Is there…something…between them!"

Remus and Lily laughed nervously while James and Sirius glared at them. "What happened between them!" Sirius demanded.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Nothing happened between them! The two of you have very active imaginations!" James and Sirius eyed them suspiciously but dropped the subject. They honestly didn't want to know what happened between Sam and Snivellus. They already had enough trouble sleeping without a mental image of something nasty happening between them.

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It had been two weeks since Sam went away and James had a huge smile on his face as he sat down next to his friends at breakfast. He looked at his friends and laughed. "You'll never believe what happened last night while I was in bed!"

"Lily, you didn't! Now, he'll never shut up about you!" Sirius laughed.

Lily blushed and punched him in the arm. "Stuff it, Black! What happened, James?"

James laughed and took out a small piece of parchment from his pocket. "I was asleep when an owl started pecking at the window. It had a brief letter from Sam."

"What did it say?" Lily asked in excitement.

James put the parchment down on the table and smiled when they crowded around it. "_Dear James, I'm finally free! I should be back by tomorrow morning. Mum and Dad wanted it to be a surprise but I couldn't wait to tell you! Act surprised when you see me in case they are still with me. Can't wait to see you! Love, Sammy. P.S. Tell Sirius, I promise._"

"She's coming back today!" Lily exclaimed.

"That's what she wrote." He smiled. "What is she promising to you, Sirius?"

Sirius smiled. "I asked her to try to be friends with me again."

"This is excellent!" Remus said with a bright smile.

Sirius was ecstatic. She was finally coming back to him. She wanted to be with him again. "Do you think she's going to turn up right now?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. I hope so." They ate breakfast and anxiously watched the door. When the time for class came, they reluctantly got up and left. They secretly hoped that she would be back by then but they were sadly disappointed. They hoped that she would turn up at lunch.

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Lunch had passed with no sign of Sam. They were worried and thought that maybe something happened to her. Lily walked down the hall after classes were over and sighed. She was really worried about Sam. She should have been back by now. She stopped and turned around when she heard Sirius yell her name. "Where's the fire, Sirius?"

He shrugged. "In my pants?" She rolled her eyes. He smiled brightly at her. "I just wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Sam."

Lily eyed him closely. "What about her?"

"I want her back. I was hoping that you could-"

"No, I won't." She interrupted him.

He looked shocked. "W-Why not?"

She glared at him. "Sam's been through enough. I don't think it would right to put this all on her once she gets back."

Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed. "I wasn't going to do it until after she gets settled in."

"Sirius, just leave her alone."

She walked away from him. He grabbed her arm but quickly let go when she gave him a death glare. "What's going on? Why shouldn't I try to get her back?"

Lily sneered at him. "She showed me how you broke up with her!" He looked away and sighed. "How could you do that to her! You promised me just last year that you loved her and would never hurt her! You lied to me and broke her heart! I _helped_ you convince her to go out with you and you just hurt her!"

He wouldn't look at her. He couldn't look at her. He knew that she was right. "I know. I hurt her in the worst way and I regret it everyday. Lily, I love her. She means so much to me and I want her back in my life!"

"For how long this time? Until another girl walks by!" Sirius scowled. "She wouldn't let me help her when you broke up with her but I'm going to help her now. Leave her alone, Sirius. If you love her as much as you claim to then just let her be. If she decides to be with you then let her do it on her own terms. She deserves that much."

"What if she gives up on me? What if I have lost her forever if I don't try?"

Lily sighed. He looked too pathetic for words. "If she loves you after everything you put her through then you will know that it was worth the wait. Sam deserves a chance to be happy even if it's not with you. You'll just have to accept it."

Sirius closed his eyes in frustration. "I can't lose her. I can't lose her to someone else."

"Is that what this is all about? You only want her so that no one else will have her?"

He groaned. "Of course not! I've never loved anyone the way that I love her! I made a mistake! I know that now! I want her back because I love her! I need her back because I miss her. I'm not going to let fear control me this time. I know what I want and it's her!"

She stared at him intently before shaking her head. "What about Sarah?"

"What about her?"

She rolled her eyes. "Have you told Sarah of your plans? Have you broken up with her so that you can be with Sam?"

Sirius sighed. "No, I haven't. I just thought that I would break up with her after Sam comes back to me."

Lily was fuming. "Covering all your bases! If Sam rejects you, you still have Sarah! If Sam accepts you, then you throw Sarah away like yesterday's trash! You haven't changed at all, Sirius! You are still letting fear control you! How can you say that you know what you want when you have this stupid plan!"

Sirius glared at her. "So, if I broke up with Sarah before I talk to Sam that would prove to you that I've changed?"

She sighed. "It would be a start but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Why not?"

Lily groaned in frustration. "Are you thick! Sam has been through enough! She needs time to readjust to everything! Why can't you wait to tell her!"

"Because if I wait, I'll lose her!"

"No, you won't! How can you be so sure that you love her if you have nothing but doubts!"

He looked sad. "The only doubts that I have is that…there's a huge chance that she might stop loving me and give up on us. I don't want that to happen, Lily. I can't lose her again."

She looked at him closely and sighed. "Sirius, if you love her like you say you do, then just be her friend. That's what she needs right now. The last thing she needs is for you or anyone else to confuse or upset her. Let her be for a while. Let her go back to normal and wait for her to come to you."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Then it wasn't meant to be."

Sirius took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can wait."

Lily shrugged and walked away. "Then you don't deserve her."

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James, Lily, and Peter sat in the Great Hall, waiting for Remus and Sirius. Dinner was about to begin and they still weren't there. They were never late for a meal. James rolled his eyes and groaned. "They better hurry up! I'm starving!"

Lily slapped his arm. "Oh shut up, James! You're acting like you won't be sneaking off to the kitchens later!"

Peter laughed loudly. "She's got you there, Prongs."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." Sirius and Remus came walking in, laughing. "It's about damn time that you two showed up! I'm starving!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What are you going on about? You know we're going to the kitchens later tonight."

Lily laughed. "I told you so."

Sirius sat down next to Lily and nudged her with his shoulder. She looked at him closely and smiled. "No hard feelings, Black?"

He winked at her. "No. You're lucky Remus talked to me or I might have had to hex you."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I would have liked to see you try."

Lilac, Alice, Mary, Patty, Frank, Kevin, and Chris walked in and sat down with them. The feast finally began and they dug in. Frank, Kevin, and Chris were joking around but quickly stopped when they looked up. Alice and Patty let out gasps while Mary and Lilac let their mouths hang open. They just stared behind the others heads. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you lot?" Sirius asked while stuffing his face.

They stopped eating when they heard a familiar voice. "Very nice, James! You knew that I was returning today and you didn't even save me a seat!" They turned and their mouths fell open. Sam laughed. "Surprise!" They continued to gape at her and she laughed some more. "Well, if you aren't even going to say hello, I'll just have to sit somewhere else!"

Sam pretended to turn to leave when James grabbed her into a tight hug. "Sammabelle, is that really you?"

She hugged him tightly and smiled brightly. "It's really me, Jimmybean!"

The others looked at each other in confusion when they heard the names they called each other. Sam was surprised when the others tackled her to the ground. She saw Peter standing over the group. "Peter, can you help me out?"

Peter jumped on top of the pile and everyone groaned. Michael and a few other people ran over and joined the pile. They were all talking at once. All Sam heard was a mixture of "welcome backs". She laughed loudly at their reaction. "Why are there more boys than girls tackling my little girl?" They looked up and saw Mr. Potter staring at the boys closely.

Mrs. Potter smiled brightly at her husband. "That's because our little girl is a heartbreaker!"

"Well, she should stop it." Mr. Potter grumbled.

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Daddy, could you help me out of this pile? I'm starting to have trouble breathing."

He laughed and helped his daughter up. He gave her a tight hug and smiled. "Are you ok, sweetie?"

She nodded and blushed. Everyone was staring at their little display. "I'm fine, Daddy."

James stood and helped Lily up. They brushed off their clothes and smiled. "Mum. Dad! What are you doing here?" He asked as he gave his father a big hug and nodded curtly at his mother. Sam looked curiously between them.

They smiled as they exchanged hugs with some of their friends. "We just arrived and Professor Dumbledore agreed to let us have dinner with you. We wanted to make sure Sammy got settled in before we left." Mrs. Potter said staring at her son with hope filled eyes.

James refused to look at her and smiled at his father. "Well, sit down! You must be starving! I know I am!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Like you aren't going to be sneaking into the kitchens later tonight." She whispered in his ear. He laughed out loud and winked at her.

James made Sam and their father sit next to him and Mrs. Potter sighed as she awkwardly sat down next to her husband and Sirius. They stared at Sam closely and she laughed. Sam let out a loud yelp when James pinched her arm. "What the hell was that for!"

He blushed. "Just making sure that you are really here and it's not a dream."

She rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the stomach. "You're supposed to pinch yourself, not me, you git!"

They laughed when James yelped after she pinched him. "Sorry." He mumbled as he rubbed his arm. James hugged her to him and sighed. "I've missed you, Sammy."

Sam beamed at him. "I've missed you too."

Sirius smiled at her but he quickly groaned. "Why is that greasy git staring at you!" He winced in pain when Mrs. Potter elbowed him. "Sorry for the language, Mrs. Potter." He glared at the table. "Even though you didn't nudge Sam when she said it!" He mumbled.

Mrs. Potter smiled. "She's not right next to me, Sirius. And you should know better than to use such language in front of ladies."

He rolled his eyes when the girls laughed. "When there are ladies around, I'll be sure to keep that in mind." He winced again when her elbow hit his ribs. "Sorry, Mrs. Potter." He grumbled.

Mr. Potter looked at Sirius with interest. "Who's the greasy git, Sirius?" He winced when his wife elbowed him. "Sorry, dear."

Sirius nodded towards the Slytherin table. "That one, sir. He's one of the biggest git-" He stopped when he saw the look Mrs. Potter gave him. "He's not a nice person."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked over and smiled at him. Sam smiled at him and gave him a slight wink. Severus awkwardly nodded and she was surprised to see a look of relief on his face. The Potters waved at him and his eyes widened in surprise. He blushed and awkwardly waved back before looking away. "So, that's Severus? He…uh…looks nice." Mrs. Potter said quietly. "W-We've heard so much about him from James and Samantha. Two very different stories actually. He's the one that has been tutoring you, sweetheart?"

The girls and Remus lightly laughed and Sam rolled her eyes. "Yes, that's him, Mama. Don't listen to what they say. He's nice to me." The others snorted.

Mr. Potter rolled his eyes. "I'd have to agree with James and Sirius, Sammy. He looks like a no good greasy git!"

"Harold!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed. "Don't use such language in front of the children!"

James laughed. "Yeah, Dad, we have impressionable young minds. When you use language like that, we might wind up using it ourselves!" Mr. Potter snorted into his dinner.

Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes. "You're all gits!"

They gasped in mock shock and covered their ears. "Mother, such language!" Sirius said in a fake shocked voice. The others laughed out loud.

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They walked back to the common room and stopped briefly when people hugged Sam and welcomed her back. Michael shook hands with her parents and took a while to pull away from Sam. Actually, Mr. Potter, James, Sirius, _and_ Remus pulled him away. Michael reluctantly left after giving Sam a brief kiss on the cheek. Mr. Potter wrapped a protective arm around his daughter's shoulders while James held her hand. "Samantha, why have so many boys been hugging you?" Mr. Potter asked in a gruff voice. He glared as two boys smiled at winked at his daughter.

Sam laughed as she squeezed him to her. "I have a lot of guy friends, that's all, Daddy."

Mr. Potter made a face. "You need to make more girl friends." Sam rolled her eyes.

"I've been saying that for years!" Sirius said with a wink. The boys laughed but quickly stopped when they saw the look on Mrs. Potter's face.

They walked into the common room and Sam ran up to her room with the girls and her mother. "Be quick, Sammy. We have to leave soon!" Her father called after her.

James looked at his father with fear in his eyes. "Is she going home? Are you taking her away again?" The others paled at his questions.

Mr. Potter shook his head and smiled. "No, we aren't." They sighed in relief. "We tried to convince her to come home so we can make sure that she is safe, that's why it took us so long to return here, but she refused. Sammy said that she would be safe as long as she was with you and your friends."

The boys smiled slightly. "She's right, Dad. We'll protect her."

"That's good to know. I know you will look out for her. Your mother and I are just worried about her."

Sirius smiled. "Don't worry, Mr. Potter. We'll take good care of her."

"She has us to look out for her." Remus added.

Mr. Potter smiled. "I knew I could count on my boys to look after my little girl." He sighed. "Try not to let her spend so much time with that greasy git. I don't like the look of him."

They nodded. "We will, Dad."

Sam ran down the stairs and smiled. "I'm ready! Let's go!"

"Are you leaving?" Lily asked in surprise.

She shook her head. "I promised Professor Dumbledore that I would speak with him after dinner. My parents are leaving through the Floo Network in his office."

"Can we come with you?" Sirius asked.

Mrs. Potter hugged the kids tightly. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Professor Dumbledore wants to talk with us in private."

"I'm going with you." James said.

Sam looked at her father, fearfully. "James, I'll be back soon enough. There's no reason to come with us."

He sighed as he hugged her. "I know. You've just been gone away too long and I want to say goodbye to our parents."

Mr. Potter shifted uncomfortably. "We can say goodbye here, James."

He gaped at his father. "Why can't I come with you! What are you hiding from me!"

Sam sighed. "We aren't hiding anything. You can come with us."

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James hugged his father tightly as they prepared to leave. "I'll miss you." He said only to his father.

Mrs. Potter sighed. "We'll miss you too, James." He sneered at her and hugged his father again. She sighed at this.

Professor Dumbledore smiled gently. "James, could you please wait outside while I talk with your parents and sister?"

He eyed them closely. "What do you have to talk to them about?"

Mr. Potter sighed. "James, we just have to discuss Samantha's recovery and the potions she has to take."

"Then why can't I stay?"

Sam smiled at him. "James, please, wait outside. It won't take long." He looked as if he was going to protest but stopped when he saw the looks on their faces. He reluctantly left and Sam turned to Professor Dumbledore. "You should put up a silencing charm. James will be listening at the door." Sam laughed when she heard James swear.

After the silencing charm was up, Mr. Potter held Sam tightly. "You can still come home with us."

She smiled. "I know, Daddy. I'm meant to be here. I want to finish school."

He tightened his grip on her and began to cry. "I know, Baby. I'm just so worried about you."

Sam sighed as her mother joined their hug. "You don't have to worry about me. James and the others are here. They'll look out for me."

Mrs. Potter sniffed. "We don't want to lose you, Sammy."

"You'll never lose me, Mama. I'll always be your little girl."

They reluctantly left and Sam sat down with a sigh. Professor Dumbledore sat down and smiled. "Have you settled in alright, Samantha?"

She smiled at him. "Yes sir, I have."

He still had a smile on his face but he let out a sigh. "We need to discuss the dream that you've had."

"The one with Voldemort?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes."

Sam sighed. "Do we have to talk about that, sir?"

"Samantha, you agreed to help the Order when you're dreams have an important significance. I need to know what exactly you saw. You've told me certain things."

"I've told you all the important parts. I looked into his eyes and saw my death. What else is there to say?"

Dumbledore gave her a grave look. "Why don't you tell me when it will happen? I might be able to prevent it."

Sam sadly smiled. "You told me yourself that I shouldn't say when it will happen. I appreciate the fact that you want to help but it's what's meant to happen. There's no stopping it."

"You could tell me the details. What else happened in your dream?"

She sighed. "I was in an unknown place and an older looking Sirius found me. We talked and then he was gone. Voldemort replaced him. He strangled me and said it was all my fault that they died." She shrugged. "That's all."

"Who else died?"

Sam's chin trembled. "M-My family and friends. I-I can't let that happen, sir! My death prevents theirs and I intend to keep it that way!"

Dumbledore sighed. "Are you positive that you saw your death?" She gave him a knowing smile and nodded. "Have you accepted this?"

She slowly nodded. "I have. It's not everyday that you see your own death but I've accepted it." She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding in. "This is the only way. My death will protect their futures and that's enough for me."

"Have you told anyone of this?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I haven't. You and my parents are the only ones that know. James can never find out. He's worried enough about me."

"As you wish. You may go now. If you have any further dreams, inform me at once." Sam nodded and went to the door. "Samantha?" She turned and stared at him. "Remember, death is but the next great adventure." Sam sadly smiled and nodded before leaving. Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed. She was one of the few youngest members of the Order and the fact that she knew when she was going to die weighed heavily on his heart. Sam was a bright young woman who should have a long future to look forward to but now, she didn't. She was willingly going to sacrifice herself to ensure the safety of the ones she loved. Dumbledore was always fond of James and Samantha and their friends. Now, he had a strong respect for her. She willingly joined the order to help stop the evil that was around them and that placed her in his good graces even more than before. He looked up at the portraits that graced the walls and sighed. "I hope I am doing the right thing." He took a deep breath. "Welcome back, Samantha…and good luck." He muttered before going to bed.


	36. Chapter 35: Are You Now Or Have You Ever

Author's Note: So, yeah, I'm a big fat liar! I couldn't wait to update. I'm a loser that way. Thank you for the reviews! Leila, one of the anonymous reviewers, thanks so much and I hope you know that I really appreciate your reviews. I'm grateful for all the reviews! I honestly am! I just wanted to let the anonymous reviewers know that they are appreciated as well. Not to sound stupid but what the hell is a canon? I just lost all my creditability but asking that, didn't I? Anyway, this is a so-so chapter. I just loved the idea of them playing truth or dare and their friends, especially James, finding out little secrets about his sister's private life. The part with Sirius….you'll know what I'm talking about when you read it….was just something I had wanted to do so badly. He needed his ego to do down a notch or two. I'm happy to report that chapter 37 is coming a long very nicely. I took a week break from writing and then, at 3 am once again, I had the inspiration that I needed to start the chapter. At that time, I was on my fifth rewrite of the chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please, show some love, and review! Thanks for all the support!

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Chapter 35: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?

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James looked at Sam closely as they walked back to the common room. She wouldn't tell him anything about what happened in Dumbledore's office. It irritated the hell out of him. He stopped her. "Sam, what's going on? Why did you have to have a secret meeting with Dumbledore? Is this about your dre-?"

Sam interrupted by hugging him tightly and she spoke loudly. "I've missed you so much, James!" She turned her head slightly and whispered in his ear. "Someone's watching us."

He slightly nodded. "I've missed you too, Sammy. How are you feeling?"

She shrugged as they continued walking. "I'm alive, aren't I? So, I guess, I'm doing ok?"

James leaned in and whispered. "What did Dumbledore want your disease to be?"

She made a face and bit her lip. "I think it was something to do with the heart. I just know that he told me during one of my screaming fits."

He paled at those words. The memory of holding her down while screamed and as the healers put restraints on her wrists and ankles was still fresh in his mind. It felt like it happened yesterday. "What did the healers say was wrong with you?" He asked in a normal voice.

Sam smiled at him. "The heart defect again. It took a lot longer to take care of this time. I just can't have too many surprises for a while."

James laughed and hugged her. "So, tackling you in the Great Hall was a bad idea?"

"No, it wasn't. It was pretty funny."

"Everyone was really worried about you. I was really worried about you. Could you try not to scare me like that again? Ever?"

She laughed out loud. "I'll try my best." She stopped and looked at him closely. "You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm going to be fine."

He nodded as they walked back into the common room. Remus looked at her and smiled brightly. Sam ran to him and held onto him like she never wanted to let go. They closed their eyes and took in each other's scent. "You are not allowed to scare me again for at least a year!" He whispered in her ear.

"I promise, Remus." She smiled. "I've missed you so much!"

Remus kissed her briefly and smiled. "I've missed you too. I'm glad you're back."

"So am I." They separated and saw Sirius staring at them with a huge smile on his face. "Is it ok to give _my_ Sammy a hug?"

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "Get your ass over here, Black!"

Sirius smirked and hugged her tightly. "No hard feelings?" He whispered into her ear.

She smiled slightly at him. "Not anymore."

"Can we talk? There's something important that we need to discuss." He asked nervously.

Before she could answer, James took hold of her arm and dragged her up to the boys' room. "Whatever it is, can wait, Padfoot." Sirius sighed and followed. "Did you go to the kitchens?"

"Yes, we did." Remus answered.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. They didn't answer her. All they did was smile. They entered the boys' room and Sam laughed. Their friends were sitting on their beds, smiling at her. "What is all of this?"

Frank laughed and waved his arm around the room to show off the food and drinks that the boys' managed to nick from the kitchens. "Think of it as your welcome back party, Sammy." He pulled out a bottle from behind him and winked at her. "Some fire whiskey for the celebration."

James shook his head rapidly. "No way, Frank! We are not going to give her any of that! She shouldn't be getting drunk when she just returned!"

Sam rolled her eyes at him and laughed. "James, come on! It's a party and I've never tried it before! One drink won't kill me!" He reluctantly nodded and sat next to Lily on his bed. Sam followed Remus to his bed. "Can I sit with you?"

Remus smiled brightly at her and they didn't notice Sirius scowl. "Of course, you can." He moved over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders after she sat down. He kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you're here."

Sirius sat down with a sigh on his bed next to Lilac, Frank, and Alice. "We're all glad she's back, Moony." He muttered.

Remus glared at him and purposely held her closer. He knew that Sirius wanted Sam back. They had a long talk about everything before dinner. They were able to try to put the past behind them but Remus was still unsure how sincere his friend actually was. "I know that, Padfoot. I was just letting her know."

"No, you weren't! You said 'you' were glad. You didn't say 'we'! There's a difference!"

"Why don't you two shut the hell up so _we_ can start the celebration?" Frank said trying to stop the almost argument.

Sam smiled at Frank. "Frank's right! Pass the food and fire whiskey around! Let's have some fun and forget our _petty_ problems for a bit!"

They laughed and passed the food and drinks around. In no time everyone became tipsy. They started playing truth or dare. "Remus, truth or dare?" Frank asked.

Remus blushed. "It's my turn already?" They laughed and nodded. "Ok, I'll take truth."

Frank smiled evilly. Remus started to sweat. "Who's the best shag that you've ever had?"

He blushed further and shifted uncomfortably. "Is it too late to say dare?"

"Yes!" Frank yelled.

Sam laughed. "Remus, you can answer honestly. If it's Hannah, I won't get mad."

He smiled at her. "I don't want to answer because her _very_ protective older brother is in the room with us and he'd probably kick my ass."

"Hannah has an older brother?" Peter asked.

They rolled their eyes and laughed. Remus shook his head. "I meant Sam. My answer is Sam, ok?"

James groaned loudly. "That's what every brother wants to know about his little sister! She's good in bed!"

Sam blushed. "Shut up, James!" She looked at Remus. "You aren't just saying that because I'm here, are you?" He shook his head and smiled. "Good, I'm glad to hear it."

Remus winked at her. "Who's your best shag?"

She blushed again. "You didn't ask me truth or dare."

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

He lightly laughed. "I've should've know. Ok, I dare you to kiss…me."

Everyone booed. "That's too easy! Pick someone else!" Patty exclaimed.

"Fine! Who should she kiss?"

Sam laughed. "I'll take anyone but James!"

"And Frank!" Alice added while laughing.

Frank looked at her in mock surprise. "Hey! Why not me?" He winced when Alice elbowed him in the ribs. "Sorry, dear."

Remus laughed. "Sam, I dare you to kiss…Peter."

She inwardly groaned. She would have rather kissed James than Peter. "Fine! Peter, get over here!"

Peter looked completely terrified as he walked over to her. She held his face in her hands and briefly kissed him on the lips as everyone "oohed" and "ahhed". He blushed as he walked back to his bed. "T-Thank you?"

"Not a problem, Peter." Sam turned to Lily. "Lily, truth or dare?"

Lily groaned. "I guess I'll pick truth."

"Tell us something."

"What they hell is that supposed to mean? You have to ask me a real question!"

"Ok, tell us who you've kissed that we don't know about."

She blushed. "I've kissed…Sirius."

Everyone but James, Lily, and Sirius exclaimed. "You didn't!" Lilac exclaimed.

Lily nodded. "I did. It was last year at the Christmas ball. James was _trying_ to make me jealous by kissing a girl in front of me. I decided that he need a taste of his own medicine so, I kissed Sirius. James knew why I did it and rolled his eyes." She looked at Sam. "Are you mad at me?"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "Why should I be? I'm just surprised that you didn't tell me."

She shrugged. "No offense to Sirius but I didn't want a lot of people to know."

Sirius gasped. "I'm not a bad kisser!"

"No, you aren't. I just didn't want anyone to know the reason why I kissed you and make a big deal about it." Lily turned to Sam and smiled. "Truth or dare?"

She groaned. "Why me! Can't you ask someone else?"

Lily nodded. "I could but I don't want to. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who was your best shag?"

"I can't answer that!"

"Why not?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Are you thick! Three of my ex-boyfriends and my brother are in the room! Plus, I've only slept with two of them and I don't want to hurt their feelings!"

Lily laughed. "Fine, just tell the girls."

The girls went over to Sirius' bed and forced Sirius and Frank to move over to Remus' bed. Sam laughed as she leaned in and whispered. The boys' rolled their eyes when the girls gasped. "No way!" Mary exclaimed.

"You don't believe me!"

"No, we do! It's just…wow!" Alice said.

The girls laughed as they looked over at Remus' bed. Sirius and Remus shared a look and shrugged. They each secretly prayed that she said their name. Sam leaned in again and the girls laughed. "You called the other one that!" Lily exclaimed.

"Called the other one what?" Chris asked.

Patty laughed. "Her little minute man!"

Remus and Sirius scowled while the boys laughed loudly. "Why do I have the feeling that she called Remus that?" James said.

Remus looked offended. "It wasn't me!" He looked at Sam. "Was it me?"

Sam laughed. "No, it wasn't."

Sirius' mouth hung open. "It was me!"

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't!"

"Who the hell was it!" asked Kevin.

Sam smiled. "I'm not going to say! You can believe what you want!"

The party went on for a bit longer before everyone went to bed. Sam and Remus couldn't be woken up. James tried shaking her as hard as possible but she wouldn't wake up. "James, let her be. She'll sleep here tonight." Lily said.

"I don't want him shagging my sister while I'm asleep a few feet away."

Sirius scowled. He was annoyed at the fact that he could possible be nicknamed "her little minute man" and he didn't like how Remus and Sam were holding each other. "Why not? They've don't it before."

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and turned to look at him. Sirius could have kicked himself. "They've done that before?" Mary asked in shock.

He slowly nodded. He told them about seeing them in the common room and about them coming up here and continuing. Lily scowled at him. "_He didn't really want her back! He just wants her away from Remus! That prat!_" She thought to herself. "Sirius, how could you tell us that! They obviously didn't want anyone to know!"

"She can't stay here tonight!" James exclaimed.

Lily rolled her eyes. "We can't carry her and you aren't allowed in the girls dormitory! They are passed out! Nothing is going to happen!"

James scowled. "Fine! I'm going to leave the curtains open so that nothing can really happen."

Lilac rolled her eyes. "Oh please, James! It's not like they are going to take pictures of themselves shagging again!" The girls groaned and Lilac winced. She didn't mean to tell him that. "I shouldn't be allowed to drink! I've got a big mouth!"

"Yeah, you really do." Kevin and Chris said in unison.

Frank laughed. "They really took pictures of that!" He winced when Alice slapped his arm. "What! I was just surprised!"

James made a face. "They took pictures!"

"We never did that!" Sirius exclaimed. His eyes widened when they stared at him in amusement. "Did I just say that out loud?"

Patty rolled her eyes as she hugged Kevin to her. "Yes, you did. And yes, they did. It happened a while ago. What's the big deal?"

"Obviously, you don't have a little sister." James grumbled. "I'm never going to be able to sleep again!"

Lily smiled at him. "It happened a long time ago. You have nothing to worry about. Plus, they were tastefully done." The boys stared at her in shock and she groaned. "I can't drink again! I've got a big mouth too!"

Chris laughed loudly. "You saw the pictures!"

Alice blushed when Frank looked at her. "We found them. We didn't mean to. And, Lily's right. They were tastefully done." The boys smiled. "I've got to say, Remus does look good naked."

Frank gasped as the others laughed. "Excuse me!"

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I'm only stating a fact! Plus, you only care because there is a chance that you can see the pictures and see her naked!"

"I think I'm going to be sick." James grunted.

Kevin laughed. "I think, as much as I am _loving_ this conversation, that it is time for bed. We've had too much excitement for one night." They nodded and quickly left.

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Remus and Sam joined their friends at breakfast. They leaned against each other as they filled their plates with food. They had been there for barely a few seconds when James began to speak. "So, you like to take pictures while you shag?"

They spit out their pumpkin juice while the others laughed. "What was that, James?" Sam asked slowly.

James glared at her. "You heard what I said, Sam."

"Yeah and why didn't we ever do that!" Sirius exclaimed. Everyone shook their heads at him and laughed. He sheepishly smiled. "That's not really important right now. Continue, Prongs."

James shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I just can't believe you did that! And to show your friends the pictures…!"

Remus paled. "Y-You showed people…?"

Sam shook her head and nervously laughed. "No, of course not! They wanted to borrow some perfume and went through my things. They found them, I swear! That's all!"

"Don't be too upset, Lupin. Alice thinks you look sexy when you're naked." Frank laughed.

Remus and Alice blushed. "I should have never said that!" Alice muttered.

"Well, I'm glad you liked what you saw." Remus said with a shy smile.

"Ok, but at least tell me that you two didn't shag in our room while I was asleep a few feet away!"

Sam and Remus glared at Sirius, who looked away and started to whistle. "What the hell happened last night? Was it 'Spill Sam and Remus' Sex Secrets' night or something?" Sam groaned.

Chris patted her arm and smiled at her. "We only heard those two things, I promise." She smiled in relief and rested her head on Remus' shoulder. "Did you two really do it in the common room?" Sam and Remus put their faces in their hands and groaned loudly. "It doesn't bother me if you did! I just want to know where so that I never _ever_ sit on the same spot."

"It was right in front of the fire place on the floor." Sirius said automatically.

"Padfoot, haven't you said enough already?" Remus said through gritted teeth.

James groaned and pushed away his plate. "I'm never going to sleep again and now, I can't eat! This is just great!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh please, what they did was perfectly normal and I've got to say, very amusing for us to talk about."

Kevin laughed as Patty kissed his neck lightly. "As long as you didn't shag Snape, I don't care what you do with your boyfriends, Sammy."

The girls and Remus nervously laughed and the others gasped in shock and disgust. "Sammy, ew!" Frank said while shuddering.

"It was after we went out, right?" Chris asked with a sneer.

Kevin pushed away his food and groaned. "I agree with James. I can't eat."

"You didn't really…_shag_ him, did you?" Sirius said with a lot of difficulty.

James gave her a pleading look. "Please, tell me that you didn't do _that_ with him."

Sam looked away from them and stared at Severus. He didn't know what was going on around him at that moment. He was too engrossed in his book. She smiled lightly at the sight of him. "It was the best sixteen hours of my life!"

They all spit out whatever was in their mouths and began to cough loudly. People gave them curious stares but quickly went back to what they were doing. "S-S-ixt-teen h-hours!" Frank sputtered.

She sighed in a dreamy sort of way. "He was so sweet and shy. His hands are surprisingly soft-" She cut herself off by laughing. Sam laughed so hard that tears poured down her face. "We never slept together! I've only ever slept with two people." She took Remus' hand in hers and smiled at him. "And I've loved them with all my heart."

Frank and Kevin wiped away fake tears. "That was so …BEAUTIFUL!" Kevin exclaimed while pretending to cry.

The others laughed. Sam rolled her eyes and threw a roll at him. "My point is that Severus and I don't love each other. That's why I've never slept with him. Sure, we've …kissed but never shagged!"

"You've made out with him?" Frank exclaimed as he pushed his plate away.

"Yes, I have. He is a…good kisser. He is a little inexperienced but it wasn't terrible." Sam saw the evil looks on the boys faced and narrowed her eyes. "You will NOT use that little bit of information against him! I will hex you until the day I die if you do!" The boys reluctantly agreed and they left for class.

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"Do you think that we should get back at Sirius for spilling their secret like that?" Lilac asked Patty as they walked behind the group on their way to class.

Patty laughed. "And who's going to make you pay for doing the same exact thing?"

She rolled her eyes. "That was a mistake! What he did, was deliberate! You know that it was."

"It did seem that way but so what? He made a mistake. They weren't mad at him, just really annoyed and embarrassed. They forgave him."

Lilac sighed. "I think he wants her back."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, he started a stupid argument with Remus over the use of 'you' and 'we'. He purposely let it slip about how he walked in on them and how they did it in their room while everyone was asleep. I think he did that so James would be pissed at Remus and help him get Remus away from Sam. And, look at him now."

Patty looked at where Lilac was pointing. Sirius pulled Sam away from where she was talking with Remus and Chris and put his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear. They smiled and laughed when Sam pushed him away and poked him in the stomach. "Maybe you're right. How are we going to get him back?"

"Why don't we let it slip to the entire school what Sam really thinks of Sirius!"

Her eyes widened. "We can't do that! Think of how embarrassed Sirius would be!"

Lilac laughed like a maniac but quickly stopped when Patty gave her a look. "Sorry, I'm just over excited." Patty rolled her eyes in response. "It would be funny and think of how he humiliated Sam when he broke up with her and immediately started dating Sarah. This would be perfect revenge!"

"Normally, I'd agree with you but I won't help this time. Do what you must but don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face."

Lilac sighed once Patty walked away. She saw how Sirius was trying to make Sam's attention all on him and she sneered. "It would serve him right for what he did to her." She muttered. She saw Bertha Jorkins, Hogwarts' biggest gossip and airhead, walk past and she smiled evilly. "Hey Bertha! Wait up!"

Berth stopped walking and slightly smiled. "Hey Lilac! What can I do for you?"

She grinned. "I've got the biggest gossip! You'll die when you hear this!"

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The boys walked out of D.A.D.A. class and were on their way to lunch. Things seemed to be really off since breakfast. During the course of the day, girls would smile and flirt with Remus and completely ignore Sirius. Remus would have girls flirt with him before but not as much as Sirius or James. Krista Michaels walked past them and winked at Remus. "You're looking very handsome today, Remus."

The boys held in their laughter while Remus blushed slightly. "T-Thank you, Krista."

Sirius smiled at her. "Don't you like the way I look?"

She laughed. "Yeah, you look ok. Not as good as Remus does."

The others held onto each other as they laughed. Sirius' mouth hung open in shock. "What the bloody hell is going on with the girls today?"

Krista rolled her eyes. "Oh please, like you don't know, _minute man_!"

The boys gasped for air. They were laughing so hard that tears came into their eyes. "You've got to be kidding me!" Sirius exclaimed.

Severus walked past them and smirked at Sirius. Sirius glared. "How does it feel to know that the entire school knows how quick you are to the punch, Black?"

The boys were still laughing but glared at him. "How does it feel to know that the only girl who willingly kissed a greasy git like you thinks you suck at it?" Sirius grunted.

Severus' eyes narrowed before walking away. James laughed. "Sam is going to kill you for that."

A group of girls walked past them and laughed when they looked at Sirius. "Hello Remus." They said in unison.

Remus waved shyly at them as the boys continued to laugh. Sirius' face went to stone. "I'm sorry, Prongs, but I'm going to have to kill your sister!"

"And we want to watch you do that!" Frank laughed.

They walked into the Great Hall and saw the girls eating and laughing. The boys sat next to them and tried their best to hold in their laughter. Sirius glared at Sam. She smiled sweetly at him. "Hello Sirius. Are you just going to stand there or are you going to eat?"

He was beyond angry at her and started to yell in a high pitched voice. "How can you say that!"

Sam winced at the sound. "You do realize that only dogs could understand that, don't you?"

Sirius was fuming. "How could you! How could you say that!"

"What are you talking about!"

"I'm the minute man! How could you tell the whole school that I was the minute man!"

The girls joined the boys in laughing. Sam was shocked. "I-I didn't tell anyone except…" She looked at Lilac and shook her head while trying to keep in her laughter. "Lilac, how could you?"

Lilac blushed. "I'm sorry?"

Sirius grabbed Sam and threw her over his shoulder. "I'm going to prove you wrong!"

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. "Sirius let me down!"

"Not until you learn your lesson!"

He walked out of the Great Hall with her struggling on his shoulder. She looked at her friends pleadingly but they were too busy laughing to help her. "Sirius, I'm sorry! I didn't think anyone would find out! Let me go!"

They were almost at the portrait hole when they ran into Professor Dumbledore. "Having fun, Sirius?"

Sirius gulped and quickly put Sam down. "H-Hello, sir."

Sam smiled brightly at Professor Dumbledore. "Thank you for coming to my rescue, sir." She quickly ran away.

Dumbledore smiled at Sirius. "Is there something troubling you, Sirius?"

He bit the inside of his cheek. It was obvious to him that Dumbledore heard the rumors. "No, sir. I was just going to have a friendly _chat_ with Sam."

Dumbledore continued to smile but something in his eyes made Sirius realize that something changed. "She's been through a lot lately. Just keep that in mind when you do have that _chat_ with her." He walked away and Sirius sighed.

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Sirius and Sarah walked down the hallway, hand in hand. He was feeling really annoyed. He was annoyed at Sam and Sarah was being too clingy…again. He wished that he never got back together with her but he made that decision and would have to deal with it. Sam came running up to them and sheepishly smiled. He was happy to see her so that it would distract Sarah's attention away from him but he was also pissed as hell. "Hello Sirius. Hello Bit-Sarah." Sirius' mouth twitched a smile.

"Come to spread more false rumors about _my_ boyfriend?" Sarah sneered.

Sam rolled her eyes. "No, I haven't. I was just wondering if I could talk to Sirius after dinner, in private."

Sirius shrugged. "Why wait? Let's talk now." He really wanted to get away from Sarah.

She laughed. "Sirius, it can wait. You are spending time with Sarah. We can talk later."

"If it's important, we should talk immediately." He really hoped that she understood his meaning.

Sam smiled. "It can wait. Sarah, is it alright with you if I talk to Sirius alone after dinner?"

Sarah blinked. "I-I guess that would be fine."

Her smiled widened. "Are you free after dinner?" He nodded. "Great! I'll see you then!"

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Sirius waited anxiously for dinner to be over. He imagined how the conversation with Sam would go. She would apologize for ever saying he was a minute man and that she really meant that Moony was that. She would beg him to come back to her and he would dump Sarah in a heart beat so that he could be with Sam. He led Sam up to his room and put the silencing charm. He slightly smiled when she awkwardly sat down next to him on his bed. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Sam sighed. She was feeling nervous as hell being there alone with him. "I wanted to apologize for the minute man comment."

His heart leapt. This was how he pictured their conversation would start. "So, you don't really think that about me?"

She winced. "Well…actually, I did."

"What!"

"D-Don't get me wrong, we had some great times doing…that but you did have a tendency to be rather quick sometimes. Remus would sometimes do the same thing but he would usually take his time."

Sirius felt sick. "He was the best, wasn't he?"

Sam shrugged. "I told the girls that you were both the best but you two were very different. It's hard to make a decision like that. I love you both and you two were very…good. I should have never called you that and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I have already told Bertha Jorkins to tell everyone that you two were both amazing, if that helps."

He shrugged. "It does a little. I still can't believe that you think of me like that."

Sam groaned. "I don't! Not really anyway. Sirius, you are good. So is Remus. You aren't a minute man."

"Ok, I can forgive you."

She shyly smiled. "There's something else that we have to talk about."

He let out a loud groan. "If you're going to tell me that _Snivellus_ is better at kissing than I am, I don't want to hear it!"

Sam let out a loud laugh. "No, I wasn't! You win that contest hands down!"

Sirius sighed in relief. "Thank you for that. What else do you want to talk about?"

"I give up."

"What?"

She sighed and stood up. "You win and I'm giving up."

He looked at her closely. "Sam, what are you talking about?"

Sam looked at him and sadly smiled. "You and me. It took me close to seven years and a trip to the mental ward to realize what you've been saying was right. I've realized that I have acted in the wrong and I'm sorry."

"You've made mistakes. I can't blame you for that."

"I've treated you badly since we broke up. What you did…cheating on me, treating me like garbage when we were together and what you said when you dumped me, was painful and humiliating." He looked away from her. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you to know how I feel."

Sirius sat her down and held her hand. "I'm sorry for that. I really am. You didn't deserve what I did to you. That's what I wanted to talk to you about last night. I wanted to apologize and-"

"Sirius, wait! This is _really_ hard for me to say and I need to get it all out before I lose my nerve." He nodded. "When no one knew about us, we seemed to be happy together."

"We were happy."

She nodded. "But then I had to push. I needed everyone to know about us despite the fact that you weren't ready." Sirius opened his mouth to argue but she stopped him. "Let me finish, ok?" He agreed. "Once everyone knew, you became withdrawn. You started acting so weird and that made me doubt myself…I'm sorry. I honestly am not putting this all on you. That wouldn't be fair. I knew something was wrong but I was too scared at the thought of losing you to say anything."

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

Sam squeezed his hand. "It's ok…when I was at St. Mungo's; I realized how unfair I was to you. I knew that you never loved me and I selfishly begged you to stay. That was wrong of me. I treated you like crap because you had the guts to be honest with me. I shouldn't have done that. I've come to the conclusion, while I was at St. Mungo's, that trying to make you feel something that was never truly there was wrong. So, I'm giving up on trying to make you love me. A part of me will always love you but I just have to stop."

Sirius was in complete shock. This isn't what he wanted at all. "What? Why are you going to do that?"

Sam bit her lip. "People like me wind up in the asylum if they can't let things go. For my sanity, I have to let you go. I can't waste any more of my time loving someone that will never feel the same way. It's not fair to you or to me. I just wanted you to know that I'm letting you off the hook. I'm trying to free myself. I've been in love with you since I was ten and it took me so long to realize that you will never feel the same way. So, I'm giving up on the fantasy that we will be together. You don't have to worry about this anymore."

He was silent. He didn't want her to give up on them. He wanted her back. "Sam, you can't mean this." He finally managed to say.

She smiled brightly. "I do! This is exactly what you wanted! I won't bother you again about this. Your letter helped me find the strength to say all of this."

"Did you even read my letter?"

She laughed. "Of course I did! I understood what you meant. How you missed how we used to be. How close we once were. How you just want to be my friend. I want that too. I want us to be friends again."

"I want us to be close again but-"

"This is terrific! I'm so glad that we can start over again!" She hugged him. "What did you want to tell me?"

Sirius inwardly groaned. "Don't worry about it. It was…nothing important."

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure you can."

She blushed. "Can I have one last kiss before we become friends again?"

He smiled brightly. "Of course." Sam leaned in and kissed him. He held her closely and deepened the kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair before trying to put his hands under her shirt. She stopped him. "What's the matter?"

Sam smiled. "I said a last kiss, not a last shag." She hugged him briefly before walking to the door. "Goodnight, Sirius. I'm glad we can be friends again."

Sirius groaned after she left. "I'm the biggest git!"

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Sirius was in a complete daze the next day at breakfast. He glared at his food like it was his sworn enemy. Sam was giving up on him and there was nothing he could do to change her mind. He saw her laughing with her friends over something Chris said and he scowled. She should be with him. She should not be giving up. If he wasn't such an ass, this would never be happening. "Sirius?"

He looked up and slightly smiled. "Yes, Lily?"

Lily sighed. "How are you holding up?"

"You know what happened?"

She nodded slowly. "Sam told me after she left you."

Sirius glared at her. "I bet it made you really happy."

"Sirius, that's a lie! You know that I didn't want things to work out this way! I believed, like everyone else, that you two are meant to be together. I had no idea that she would just give up on you like that."

He slightly shrugged. "Well, she did. It's all my fault. If I wasn't a coward, she would still be with me right now."

"That might be true." Lily gave him a sad smile. "Maybe it's for the best."

"What!"

She sighed. "Maybe you two need some time away from each other like this. It could be the best thing to happen. You need to make sure that what you are feeling is true. She needs a break from being in love with you. Things will work out, hopefully. You've just got to believe that."

Sirius sighed and stabbed his eggs with his fork. "How can I? I had a chance to be with her and I blew it because of fear. I'm not scared of anything but when I was dating her, I was a complete ponce! This isn't me, Lily. I'm better than this! I'm not the type of person to let fear win. I would do anything for the people I love but I couldn't be the person she wanted me to be."

"She wanted you to just be you."

"I couldn't do that. I was so…stupid! I kept bringing up things that I knew I wasn't ready for because I thought that was what she wanted. I got in way over my head and blamed it all on her. No wonder she hates me."

Lily lightly smiled. "She doesn't hate you anymore. She wants you in her life again."

"She said that I would make her go insane if she didn't stop loving me."

"No, she didn't. She said that if she didn't let go of the past that she would go insane. People with her condition are sensitive to that. If she doesn't try to let go, we'd never see her again. Sam would be locked away in a padded room for the rest of her life. We don't want that to happen. Give her time to realize that you still and always will love her. You've made mistakes, terrible mistakes, when it comes to her. This is your time to show her the truth. Show her that you respect her feelings and just be her friend for awhile. Use this time to make sure you are truly ready to be with only her."

He smiled. "When did you become so smart?"

She pretended to think about this. "1960." He let out a loud laugh.

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Sam and Remus walked outside in the snow. She said that she wanted to speak with him but she had yet to utter a word. He smiled when they sat down on an old tree stump. "Sam, what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to apologize for how I've treated you."

"You already did that."

She sighed. "I know I did but I had to do it again. I have to learn to forgive and forget. I have to learn to let things go. When I was in the hospital, I was forced to see a counselor. He made me realize that bottling up all my pain was unhealthy. He said that I had to speak with the people I love most and forgive them for their mistakes. I have to ask for their forgiveness as well. I'm sorry, Remus. I'm sorry for not telling you right away that I thought I was pregnant. I'm sorry I hurt you when Sirius kissed me. I'm sorry that my distrust of our relationship caused you to cheat. I'm sorry for everything. Can you ever forgive me?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you mad!"

"What!"

"Sam, you are apologizing for things that weren't your fault. Yes, you should have talked to me right away when you thought you were pregnant. I can and have forgiven you for that." He sighed. "I chose to cheat on you. Sirius chose to interfere in our relationship. Those things weren't your fault. You had no idea that they would happen."

Sam's lip trembled. "I'm sorry that I gave up on you. I'm sorry that I called you that disgusting name."

Remus held her hand and smiled. "I know you are. I'm sorry that I made you give up on me."

She hugged him tightly. "I wish that I never broke up with you."

He held on to her. "So do I. It was for the best. We needed time apart. I needed to realize that my feelings for Hannah were just a passing fancy. You needed to realize that you are stronger than your love for Sirius."

She looked at him closely. "Remus, were we ever truly friends before we got together?"

Remus was shocked by her question. "Of course we were! Why would you ask something like that?"

"Do you remember when we first met?" He nodded slowly. "My first year at Hogwarts I sat with James, you, Sirius, and Peter on the train. James would write to me and tell me all about his friends at school. When I met you, I thought you were so cute!"

"You did!" He blushed and laughed. "I thought you were mad about Sirius then?"

She smiled. "I was. He was the first person I met. Now, tell me, if you were me and alone with your older brother and Sirius, who would you choose to have a crush on?"

Remus laughed out loud. "I see your point. You really thought I was cute?"

Sam bit her lip and nodded. "I did. I saw this shy boy who would blush every time I would speak to him. That made you stand out to me."

"I highly doubt that I stood out to you in front of Sirius."

She smiled when he blushed. "You stood out to me. I wanted to get to know that boy who was so shy about the attention that I gave him. I would ask for your help with my homework just so we could talk."

He blushed. "You really did that?"

"I did. Didn't you ever wonder why I asked you for help when I knew the answers?"

"I did. I just thought that you wanted information about Sirius."

"I wanted to get to know you better. I'm so glad that I had that chance." Sam lightly laughed. "When I accidentally kissed you in my second year, I was so surprised that I actually did it. I never thought that I would do something like that. At that time, I had this big crush on you but I didn't know you felt the same way."

Remus wrapped an arm around her when she shivered. "I didn't want anyone to know. James and Sirius made it clear that you were too young for me at that time. They were right. Plus, all you would talk about was your undying love for Sirius."

Sam laughed. "I was such a stupid git. I was such a drama queen about everything." She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Then Patrick came into my life. He turned everything upside down for me. Here was this older boy who was interested in me and cared about what I thought about. An added plus was that he wasn't one of James' best friends." Remus laughed. "He would say all that the right things but for the wrong reasons and I fell hook, line, and sinker. It took you and only you to help bring me back."

He smiled. "I don't know about that."

"It was you, Remus. You knew he was wrong for me and showed me how you felt. That night you and Sirius found me with Patrick, you let your guard down. You opened up an unknown world for me. You showed me real and true love. I never felt as comfortable with anyone as I was with you."

"What about Sirius?"

She shrugged. "I was comfortable with him when we were friends. When we got together, I changed. I became what I thought he wanted me to be. I couldn't say I love you too much. I couldn't hug him whenever I felt like it. I felt like I couldn't be myself. When I was with you, I was never afraid to be me."

Remus looked at her closely and sighed. "Why didn't you ever tell him?"

"I was afraid of losing him. I did though."

"Do you regret…?" He trailed off.

Sam snuggled closer to him. "Do you want to know what I really regret?" He nodded. "I regret falling for him when we first met. I regret that you weren't the first one I met. I regret letting you go. We may have needed to break up but being with you was the best thing that I've ever done."

"Do you want to get back together with me?"

"That would be amazing but we can't. We may still love each other but we've already moved on. I'd like us to be friends though."

He smiled at her. "So would I. Can we have one last kiss?"

She laughed. "We'd better have more than one last kiss! I enjoy kissing you. I enjoy sleeping with you. I enjoy being with you."

"But you don't want to get back together?"

"I do but we had our time together. We can still…kiss occasionally. That wouldn't be the worst thing."

Remus laughed before kissing her. They held onto each other tightly and deepened the kiss. "I love you, Sam." He whispered.

Sam touched his cheek and smiled. "I love you too, Moony." They kissed again but were soon interrupted when a snow ball hit them.

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Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter walked around in the snow. They stopped and started throwing snowballs at each other. Sirius froze when he saw Sam and Remus kissing. They stopped for a brief moment before kissing again. He had an overwhelming urge to hit Remus at that moment. "Hey Lily!" He yelled.

Lily ran over to him, laughing. "What is it?"

"Take the blame for what I'm about to do."

Before she had a chance to reply, Sirius fired a snowball at Sam and Remus. They broke apart and glared in their direction. "Lily, what did you do!" Sirius yelled loudly.

"Sirius, I'm going to kill you for that!" Sam yelled. She ran over to him and tackled him to the ground. He laughed when she started tickling him. "How could you think that we would ever believe that Lily would do that!"

Sirius rolled her onto her back and started tickling her. She laughed as she wriggled around in the snow. "I thought it would be funny! You should have seen the look on your faces!"

He stopped tickling her and her laughing slowed down. "You're such a prat." She said with a smiled. He closed his eyes and started to lean in. Her eyes widened in surprise and rolled out from underneath him.

Sirius' head hit the snow and he sighed. He rolled onto his back and inwardly groaned when he saw her hugging Remus. He felt snow hit his crotch. "What the hell was that for, Prongs!"

The others laughed. "It looked like you needed to cool off." James said with a bright smile.

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"Am I crazy?"

Lily looked up and laughed. "Yes, you are."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. Am I crazy?"

She sighed as she stared at her best friend. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I don't know. It's just that Remus and I broke up almost a year ago but we still can't seem to stop loving each other. We still kiss and occasionally sleep together but we aren't together anymore. Sirius and I broke up and after I told him that I was giving up on him finally, he tries to kiss me. Am I crazy because I can't seem to let them go?"

Lily smiled at her encouragingly. "Remus was a big part of your life for a long time. You have been in love with Sirius since you were ten. It's normal to not be able to let them go. It will happen eventually."

Sam sighed. "Do you think Sirius was a rebound relationship?"

"No, I don't. I think it wasn't time for you two to get together. You loved each other very much but you weren't prepared to be together yet. You've known each other for a long time and were comfortable with being around one another. It was no rebound relationship."

She groaned loudly. "I hate this! I hate being in love with someone who will never feel the same way about me. I wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from falling in love with Sirius. Why did I have to meet him first? Why couldn't it have been Remus?"

She looked at her closely. "Do you want to get back together with him?"

Sam shrugged. "A part of me does. I've always felt at home with Remus. He always made me feel at peace. I don't know why but he always had that effect on me. I know it's over between us but I can't help but wonder if I he may be really the one for me. Maybe I've had it all wrong. Maybe Sirius was just a passing fancy and Remus is the one."

Lily was surprised as hell by Sam's thoughts. "Do you really think that? What about that dream you had the night before you met Sirius?"

"I don't know, Lily. The two of them have invaded my mind since I was ten and twelve. They've been in my life and my heart for so long and I don't know what to do anymore."

She smiled. "Just give it sometime, Sammy. Everything will make sense soon enough."

Sam hugged Lily. "I don't know what I would do without you, Lily. I'm sorry that I said that awful thing to you and stopped being friends with you. You mean so much to me. Even before you got together with James, I always thought of you as my sister."

Lily lightly laughed. "It's ok, Sam. I know you didn't mean it. I'm glad that we are friends again too. You've been more of a sister to me than my own. At least you don't think that I'm a freak."

"No offense but you're sister is a prat!" Lily laughed. "If I ever met her, I'll tell her so."

"I'd love to see that."

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The group was walking back to the common room after dinner. Sam held Remus' hand and whispered in his ear. "I have to go to Dumbledore's office. I'm supposed to meet with that counselor from St. Mungo's."

Remus nodded. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Sam smiled. "You don't have to."

"I want to."

She looked at everyone and sighed. "I have to go see Professor Dumbledore. I'll see you all later."

"Is everything alright?" Lilac asked. "Does this have anything to do with your heart condition?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably. She didn't like hiding things from her friends but James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus were the only ones that she truly trusted to know about her condition. "Yes, it does. He just wants to make sure that I'm taking my medication and that I'm alright. There's no need to worry."

James looked at her closely. She didn't tell him about her counseling sessions. She didn't want to worry him anymore than he already had. Only Remus knew about them. "Do you want us to walk you?"

Remus held her hand tightly. "You don't have to. I'm going to take her. We'll be back soon enough." They quickly left them behind and walked up the staircase to Professor Dumbledore's office. He gave her a quick kiss and a hug. "I'll wait for you out here if you want."

Sam blushed and smiled. "I'll be fine. I'll meet you later." He nodded and left. She took a deep breath before walking into the office.

A dark haired young man around his early twenties looked up and smiled at her. "Hello Sam."

Professor Dumbledore smiled at her. "Samantha, we've been wondering when you would turn up."

She blushed. "_Is it wrong to think that my counselor is hot_?" She thought to herself. "Hello Professor. Hello Dr. Roberts. I'm sorry I took so long. It was hard to get away from my friends."

"It's quite alright. As long as you are here now." Dumbledore said. "I'll leave you two alone."

Dr. Roberts smiled brightly when she sat down across from him. "Tell me how your first week back has been going."

Sam's blush grew deeper and she shrugged deeply. "It's been going ok, I guess." She told him every single detail of her first week. "Dr. Roberts, I'm confused."

He nodded slowly. "Why?"

"It feels like I don't know who I am anymore. I've never truly been myself, you know? I've always been somebody's something. I've been Harold and Evelyn Potter's only daughter. James Potter's little sister. Lily Evan's best friend. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black's girlfriend and now, ex-girlfriend. I've never been just me. Does that make any sense?"

Dr. Roberts smiled and she sighed dreamily at the sight. "It's normal for someone who has been through a traumatic event to have an identity crisis. You don't have to worry, Sam. That's why I'm glad you've decided to continue these sessions with me. When you were admitted to the hospital, you were in a delusional state. You weren't aware of your surroundings and you couldn't recognize anyone except your brother. After a couple of days, you seemed to have calmed down. I think these sessions with me will help you get back a sense of yourself. We've talked about your relationship with your family and Lily. Why don't we talk about Remus and Sirius for a bit tonight?"

Sam groaned. "I don't mind talking about Remus. I just don't want to talk about Sirius."

Dr. Roberts lightly laughed. "Why don't you want to talk about Sirius?"

She shrugged. "It hurts too much to think about him let alone talk about him."

He eyed her closely. "Why is it easier to talk about Remus instead of Sirius?"

"Remus…he never made me believe in something that was false. He kind of always told me the truth even when he knew it would hurt. We would still be together if it wasn't for Sirius."

"Why do you say that?"

Sam told him about their break up in her fourth year and how Sirius caused it. She told him about parts of their relationship and about that day's talk. She didn't realize it but she briefly went into her complicated relationship with Sirius. "Now, you know everything."

Dr. Roberts rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Sirius and Remus have been a big part of your life." She nodded slowly. "It seems to me, after everything you've said tonight, that Sirius has meddled in every relationship you've had." She nodded eagerly. "Sirius has always been in love with you, Samantha. He just doesn't know how to express it."

She glared at him. "How can you say that! Were you even listening to me! The way he treated me and broke up with me and you think he loves me? Are you sure that you aren't the crazy one!"

He laughed. "I'm not crazy, Sam. After you told him that you were giving up on him, what did he do?"

"He didn't do much of anything. He did try to kiss me today but I quickly moved out of the way."

"And that doesn't prove to you that he loves you?"

Sam shook her head. "No, it doesn't. It just shows that Sirius is up to his old tricks again. He saw me kissing Remus and hated the fact that all my attention wasn't on him. He doesn't love me but he wants me to love no one except him. It's my fourth year all over again."

"You still love him after everything he's done, don't you?"

She nodded and glared. "I do but I don't know why. He has caused me nothing but pain and I still would do anything to have him come back. What's wrong with me? Why can't Remus be the one for me! Why does it have to be Sirius!"

Dr. Roberts smiled gently at her. "We can't choose the people that we are meant to be with. You and Sirius are meant to be."

She groaned. "I'm so sick of hearing that! We aren't meant to be! He doesn't love me!"

"I take it that you've heard that a lot."

Sam laughed. "I've heard it and said it so many times that I'm surprised it isn't on a pillow by now."

He laughed. "Why are you fighting it?"

"Because he said he never really loved me. He called me a spoiled brat that whines if she doesn't get her way. He called me a whore! If someone you love said all this to you, wouldn't you want to fight against it?"

"I would. Samantha, we've talked about this. You have to let go of the past and try to move on."

"I've been trying to. I've had a talk with Remus and Sirius. I even had a brief chat with Lily."

Dr. Roberts nodded slowly. "Tell me about your chat with Lily."

"There isn't much to tell actually. We talked about Remus and Sirius. I apologized again for calling her that name. She forgave me."

She brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear and he saw the bruises on her wrists. "You still have the bruises from the restraints?" She nodded. "Have your friends seen them?"

"No, they haven't. I've hidden them rather well. There would be too many questions if they saw them."

"I understand." He sighed. "I have an assignment for you."

Sam groaned. "I get homework! You aren't supposed to get homework in counseling!"

Dr. Roberts laughed. "This is homework for the soul." She gave him a look and rolled her eyes. "I want you to continue the chats you've been having with your friends. It will help you let go."

She let out a sigh of relief. "That doesn't sound too hard."

"I'm not finished giving you your assignment."

"Of course you're not."

He smiled. "The next part of your assignment, you might not like." She looked up with interest. "I want you to spend the next week with Sirius." She opened her mouth to argue but he stopped her. "Let me finish, ok?" She grumbled and reluctantly nodded. "Try and become his friend again. This will help you, I promise. Try to remember how he acts around you and record it."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do. You want to get better and get your like back on track?" She nodded slowly. "This will help you. It will help you try to forgive him for what he has done and said to you. Get to know him again." She sighed. "Samantha, I'm not saying this to hurt you. I want you to get better. I want you to be able to live like a normal girl again."

Sam looked at him closely. "Is this pay back for that love note I sent you? I only did it because I was…in a delusional state! I never meant it!"

Dr. Roberts laughed and blushed slightly. She swooned. "No, it isn't payback. I would never do that to you. The love note was sweet. People in recovery tend to grow attachments to their healers. They let themselves believe that they have crushes on them when in actuality, they wouldn't notice them otherwise."

"I would have noticed you regardless. You're hot!" Her eyes widened in shock. His blush deepened. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I-I mean, you are attractive and I would be honored if I had a chance with you-" Sam stopped herself and groaned. "Why am I allowed to speak? Can we just forget that little outburst of mine?"

He smiled. "It's completely forgotten." She sighed in relief. "You may go. I'll see you the same time next week."

Sam jumped up quickly. "Have a good week, Dr. Roberts. I am really sorry about that."

Dr. Roberts nodded and smiled. "It's quite alright. Just remember the assignments." She nodded and left.

"How is she doing?"

He jumped out of his seat and smiled at Dumbledore. "She seems to be fine. She still has a lot of anger to work through but she will."

Dumbledore smiled knowingly at him. "Samantha seems to have grown a fondness towards you."

Dr. Roberts shrugged slightly and blushed. "Patients seem to grow attachments to their healers. It's very normal and nothing I can't handle. She's a good person that seems to be going through a tough time."

He nodded and sat behind his desk. "Samantha is a very special young woman. She has incredible talents. With sometime, I believe, she will be fine."

"I have scheduled another appointment with her for the same time next week."

"That's good. These sessions will help her." Dumbledore continued to smile and eyed him closely. "She seems to trust you, Andrew. I hope for her sake that she can."

Andrew nodded. "Of course she can. I would never betray her trust."

"That's good to know. I'll see you next week, Andrew." He nodded and quickly left. Dumbledore lightly laughed to himself. "A very interesting development."


	37. Chapter 36: Clean Slate

Chapter 36: Clean Slate.

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"You hit on your counselor?"

Sam groaned and blushed. "I did. If you saw him, you would too." Remus gave her a look. She laughed. "Ok, maybe, you wouldn't. He didn't seem to mind though. Dr. Roberts seemed flattered."

Remus eyed her closely. "I don't know if I trust him with you."

She smiled and kissed him briefly. "He is a good guy. He is trustworthy." She sighed. "He gave me two assignments for next week."

"What are they?"

She sighed again. "The first one isn't so bad. I have to have talks with my other friends. I have to apologize for my actions towards them."

He nodded slowly. "What's the other one?"

Sam made an annoyed face and he stifled a laugh. "I have to spend the week with Sirius."

"What?"

She nodded. "He wants me to let go of my anger towards him. He wants me to become his friend again. Dr. Roberts has this crazy idea that Sirius is in love with me even after I told him about our break up. He wants me to keep a record of how Sirius acts around me."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. He knew that Sirius still loved Sam but he wasn't going to say anything. It was Sirius' responsibility to tell her. "That seems a little odd." She nodded in agreement. "I have to agree with him though. I think it will help you get better if you let go of your anger. Becoming friends with Sirius again isn't the worst thing."

"Says you."

He laughed. "You were friends with him before all of this happened."

"No, I wasn't. We were never really friends. I've always had feelings for him."

"What about when we were together?"

Sam sighed. "I still liked him then but I was in love with you."

Remus smiled. "Face it, Sam. The two of you were close friends despite your feelings for him. Don't you miss him being in your life?"

She awkwardly nodded. "I guess, I do. It's just going to be so hard to get past the pain he has always seemed to cause me. I don't know if I can do it."

He hugged her. "You are strong enough to do this. I have faith in your abilities to forgive. You just have to be open to let it happen."

Sam kissed him again and held him closer. She laughed. "I'm glad you waited for me. I promise I will try and be friends with him."

"That's all I ask."

They walked into the common room and Sam made a face at Remus when she saw Sirius smile at her. "I change my mind. I don't think I can do this." She whispered.

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, you can. Just take it one step at a time."

They sat down next to the others and smiled. "How'd your meeting with Dumbledore go?" James asked.

She smiled. "It went fine. It took a little longer than I thought but he just wanted to make sure I was ok."

"I'm bored." Sirius announced. "Does anyone want to play wizard's chess?"

Remus nudged Sam in her side. She gave him a look and he nodded towards Sirius. She inwardly groaned. "I-I'll play, Sirius."

Sirius beamed at her. She made a mental note to write that down. "That'd be great, Sammy. You can go first."

They played for a while and the others laughed when Sam continually lost. "This sucks! I've gotten worse!"

Sirius laughed at her. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"

Sam had a theory but she didn't say. "No, I don't."

"The night we were alone in your house over the summer. The night we got together."

Frank laughed. "You two got together over a game of wizard's chess?"

She sighed. "More or less."

Alice smiled. "That's so cute. To think, a game of chess brought you two together."

Sirius smiled at Sam. "Yeah, it did. That game gave me the courage to ask her out."

"Well, we all know how well that worked out, don't we?" Sam said coolly. Sirius' face fell and everyone was staring at her in surprise. "I-I'm sorry. I think I should go to bed."

When she left, Remus let out a sigh. "Mate, she didn't mean it."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I think I'm going to go for a walk." He got up and left.

Lily looked at them and shrugged. "What the hell was that all about?"

James shrugged. "I have no idea. Do you know, Moony?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "N-No idea. She said she was going to try to be his friend again. I think the talk about how they got together was too much."

"I wish she would just get over it. It's been over two months." James grumbled.

Alice rolled her eyes. "She'll get over it when she is good and ready. At least she is trying to be his friend."

"Well, she obviously isn't trying very hard." Frank said.

"Yes, she is! He hurt her deeply! It's going to take a little longer than two months for her to get over it. You can't blame her for still being angry." Lily grumbled.

Remus looked between everyone. "Why don't we stop talking about this? They have to work it out for themselves. There's no use in arguing over something we can't control."

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Sam sat with her friends in the library. She had to apologize. "I'm sorry for the way I acted before I went away. You didn't deserve it."

Chris, the girls, and Michael smiled at her. "It's ok, Sam. We forgive you. We know that you were just hurt." Michael said.

She sighed. "That's no excuse. I was so in the wrong. I lashed out at everyone and you didn't deserve it. Chris, I'm sorry that I blamed my break up with Sirius on you. It wasn't your fault. I'm also sorry for lying to him about you."

Chris smiled. "It's alright. I'm just glad that you are getting better."

"Sam, I'm sorry for telling Bertha about that comment you made about Sirius…and for telling him that you were pregnant. I hope you can forgive me." Lilac said in a small voice.

Sam shrugged. "It's ok, Lilac. I had time to think about it and it was kind of funny. You don't need to worry." They hugged and Sam smiled. "Let's talk about something else. Are you excited about the Christmas Ball next week?"

The girls nodded. Chris shrugged. "It's just another ball to me. Monica is excited about it though."

"You're going with Monica Winston?" Patty asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I am. I asked her out two weeks ago."

"Krista can't seem to stop talking about it. I love being with her but if she doesn't shut up about it soon, I'm breaking up with her." Michael said.

They laughed. "You're going out with Krista Michaels? Since when?" Mary asked.

"Since the beginning of term." He sighed. "I don't know for how much longer though."

Alice looked at him closely. "Why do you say that?"

Michael looked at Sam. "She seems to be obsessed with your ex-boyfriends. All she talks about, besides the Christmas Ball, is Remus and Sirius."

"She dated Sirius years ago. She can't still be infatuated with him." Lilac said.

He shrugged. "Well, she is. Ever since those rumors went around, she's gotten even more obsessed."

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry, Michael."

"It's not your fault, Sammy. Krista is just crazy!" They laughed.

"Who are you going with, Sam?" Alice asked.

She shrugged. "I'm not going with anyone. It's just a ball. It really doesn't matter."

"Are you waiting for Snape to ask you?" Chris asked as he winked at her.

Sam laughed. "No, I'm not. We are just friends. I'll go even if I don't have a date. I've done it before."

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Sam walked into the potions classroom and slightly smiled when she saw Severus setting up. This was their last tutoring session and a part of her felt sad about it. "Hello Severus."

Severus looked up and slightly smiled. She was surprised when he hugged her. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm sorry that I haven't spoken to you earlier. I've just been trying to catch up with everything."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Thank you for the letter you sent me. That was really sweet of you."

He blushed. "It wasn't a problem."

"I have to talk to you about something." He looked at her closely and nodded. She sat on the top of the desk and sighed. "I've enjoyed the time that we spent together. You've become a really good friend."

"I've enjoyed it too."

She was surprised by his honesty. "There's something else that you are probably aware of but I have to say it anyway. When we did those things…a part of me wanted to because I liked you. Another part of me was using you."

"You were?"

"I was hurt and confused. I thought you would be the perfect distraction. Don't get me wrong, I do care for you. I hope you aren't too upset with me."

He was silent for a moment before speaking. "You were using me?"

Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "I partially used you. You have to believe that I do care about you. I really enjoyed the time we've spent together. I like being your friend and I did enjoy kissing you."

"Then why did you tell Black that I was bad at it?"

She knew that this was one of those times where it was ok to lie. "I told him it was _not_ like you were bad at it. He was just jealous. Don't listen to him."

Severus nodded. "Why are you telling me this? Does this have anything to do with your heart condition?"

"How do you know about that?"

He blushed. "I saw you with your brother the night you came back. I heard you talking about it."

Sam looked at him. He was the one that was listening to them. She felt a weird sense of distrust toward him that moment and couldn't understand why she felt that way. "Yes, it has to do with that. That little incident that caused me to go to St. Mungo's made me realize that time is too short. I want to make amends with the people I've wronged."

"You didn't wrong me, Samantha. I used you too, at first. I wanted your brother and friends…I wanted them to suffer with the knowledge that you wanted to spend time with me and there was nothing they could do to stop it."

He expected her to be angry. He was surprised when she laughed. "We're quite the pair, aren't we? We used each other for such stupid reasons and became friends because of it." She smiled. "Do you enjoy spending time with me? Be honest. I'll know if you are lying."

"Yes, I do."

"Do you still want to be friends?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any romantic feelings for me?"

"No, I don't."

She smiled. "Good to know. Now, let's get to work. This is our last session together and I want to make it count."

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Sirius yawned loudly. He was extremely bored. Everyone seemed to be somewhere else. He left Sarah early because she wouldn't shut up about the ball. He really wanted to break up with her but he didn't want to deal with the tears. Sarah was a crier that he knew for a fact. He inwardly groaned when he thought about being forced to spend the entire night of the Christmas Ball in dress robes and attached to Sarah. He made a mental note to try and sneak in some fire whiskey. That would be the only thing that would help him get through the night. "Hello Sirius."

He jumped in surprise and sighed. "Hello Samantha."

Sam sat down next to him. "Do you want to play wizard's chess?"

He gave her a hard look. "I'm afraid that the last time we played was just too much fun for me. I don't think I have the energy for another joyous game."

He stood up but she pulled him back down. "I hate you."

"Thanks a lot."

Sam laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry for what I said to you last night."

Sirius shrugged indifferently. "Is that all?"

She rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. He glowered at her while he rubbed his arm. "Would you stop acting like a baby? I'm trying to apologize to you! Why do you have to be so damn difficult all the time?"

"Because it annoys you." He smiled. "By the way, that hurt!"

She laughed. "I'm glad it did. I'm sorry for what I said. You were trying to be nice and I was a bitch." He nodded eagerly and she hit him again. "Would you listen?"

Sirius groaned. "Only if you stop hitting me! When the hell did you get so strong?"

"When did you become such a wuss?"

"I'm not a wuss!"

"You can't take a punch in the arm from a girl! You are a wuss!"

"No, I'm not!"

Sam smiled evilly before punching his arm again. She laughed when he yelped. "See, you are a big wuss!"

He laughed as he rubbed his arm again. "I accept your apology. If I didn't, I'm afraid my arm would fall off from being constantly hit."

She hugged him slowly. "I have a lot of anger towards you still."

"So I've noticed."

She laughed. "I want to be friends with you again. I really do miss having you in my life. I think we should spend some time together as friends. I have to get over my anger and I think if we get to know each other again…do you agree with my idea or not?"

Sirius smiled brightly. "You've missed me? Do you want us to get back together?"

Her face fell. "Look, if you don't want us to be a friend, that's fine with me! I just thought that maybe we could put aside our differences for once and actually be friends! This time we don't have some stupid…_love_ thing between us! We could honestly be real friends but you just had to remind me of that night! You just had to remind me what we had was just a big joke to you, didn't you?" She ran out of the portrait hole after punching him in the chest.

He groaned and ran after her. He saw her but decided to follow her instead of calling out. She walked around aimlessly for a bit before going up to the astronomy tower. She leaned against the wall and sighed as she looked up at the stars. "Fancy meeting you here."

Sam turned around and glared at him. "What are you doing up here?"

"I followed you."

"I want you to leave. Having you up here with me…can you please leave?"

Sirius stood next to her and sighed. "No, I can't. If you are serious about wanting to be friends, we have a few things to discuss."

"What do we have to talk about?"

He made her look at him. "What happened between us…what I did…"

She rolled her eyes and tried to move away but he stopped her. "Do we have to talk about it now? Can we just pretend that we did talk about it?"

"If we pretend anymore, I'm afraid you'll break off my arm." She rolled her eyes and laughed as she unbuttoned the middle of his shirt. "W-What are you doing?"

Sam rolled her eyes again and sighed. "Quit acting like such a girl! I'm not trying to seduce you. That's the last thing on my mind right now. I want to check and see if there's going to be a bruise where I hit you." She opened his shirt and winced at the bright red mark. He stifled a groan when she touched it. She frowned as she continued to lightly touch the mark. "I'm sorry about that."

Sirius put his hand over hers and slightly smiled. "It's ok. I deserved it after…making that stupid joke." She shrugged and he carefully brought her into a hug. "Do you think you'll ever forgive me?"

"I honestly don't know. I hope so." She awkwardly rested her head on his shoulder and sighed when he kissed her forehead. Sam pulled away from him and wouldn't look at him. "You really hurt me. I don't know what I did to deserve it."

He touched her arm but she pulled away. "You didn't do anything. It was all my fault. You were right about me, Sam. I was a coward." She opened her mouth to argue but he kept talking. "I was a huge fucking coward. I had someone who loved me and who would die for me, staring me in the face and I walked away. Actually, I beat it down and then set it on fire before walking away. I blamed all my fears on you and that's not who I am."

She stared at him curiously. "I wasn't myself when I was with either." She said in a small voice. "I was…someone I can't recognize. I took your crap, I begged you to love me, and the person I became afterwards…I don't even want to know."

"I promised you things that I wasn't ready for because I thought that was what you wanted. I started to feel trapped…I wasn't myself either. I let fear control me…I let it win. I'm truly sorry."

"I want to believe you but it's hard. If only there was a way that we could start over."

Sirius smiled brightly. He held out his hand and she reluctantly took it. "Hello, I'm Sirius Black. I'm a first year at Hogwarts."

Sam laughed. "Sirius, what the hell are you doing?"

"We are starting over…in a way. Now, as I was saying! Hello, I'm Sirius Black. I'm a first yeah at Hogwarts. How about you?"

"Hello Sirius. I'm Samantha Potter. I won't be starting there until the next year. My brother James will be starting with you. I know for a fact that the two of you will be best mates." She kissed his cheek.

He laughed. He quickly kissed her three times. "That's what will happen between us in my third year."

She nodded slowly. "Ok, that's true. I will be ignoring you for months until the summer when I introduce you to…that git, Patrick. Now, I'm dating one of your best mates, Remus Lupin. I sleep with him and you get upset but quickly recover."

"I'm sorry to say that I meddle in your relationship with him in my fifth year. He hurts you because of it but I help get it back together."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Sadly, he cheats on me after a pregnancy scare and we break up at the Christmas Ball. I briefly date my good friends but I'm crazy about you and those relationships don't last long."

He shifted uncomfortably. "During that time, I finally get my head out of my ass and realize that I have feelings for you. We get together but I was a git and break your heart." She sadly smiled. "Now, Samantha, can I call you 'Sam' or 'Sammy'?"

She laughed. "Yes, you may."

Sirius smiled at her. "You briefly act like a git because of the way I treated you and I'm sorry for that. Now, Sam, this will be our future together. Even though we have no idea this will happen in the future, do you want to be my friend?"

"Yes, I do. I'd be honored to be your friend despite the unknown future."

He bent his knees and leaned forward. "Now, get on my back."

"Excuse me?"

"Sam, remember during my first year when I spent Christmas at your house?" She nodded. "That Christmas, I always gave you piggy back rides. If we are going to start over, we have to do it."

She shook her head and laughed. "You're crazy! Sirius, you don't have to do that. I only let you do that because it was the only way a stupid ten year old girl with a crush could get next to you in some way."

"That's so cute." She rolled her eyes. "Get on my back, Sam!"

Sam grumbled and cautiously got on his back. She held on to him tightly as he started to move towards the door. "Sirius, where the hell do you think you are going?"

Sirius let out a small laugh. "We're going back to the common room."

"This is crazy! You can't carry me all the way down there! There are a lot of stairs and long hallways and even more stairs! You can't take a few punches from a girl! How are you going to be able to go that long holding on to me?"

"I can manage! Don't worry about it! If I trip, you are in the perfect position to put me in a choke hold. I know how much you'd love to do that."

She giggled. "That's true. Just promise that you won't let me go."

He smiled. "I will never let you go, Sammy." They left the astronomy tower and by the time they were a few feet away from the portrait hole, Sirius was gasping for air. "When the hell did you get so heavy? I don't remember you being this hard to carry."

"Watch it, Black. This was your brilliant idea. I was ten when you last did this!" She thought about his comment and gasped. "Did you just call me fat?"

Sirius let out a weak laugh. "I'd never do that!"

"You better not have. Remember, my feet are by your special area and my arms are around your throat! I'd be careful with what you say!" They walked into the common room and he didn't let her down. "Aren't you going to let me go?"

"I said I would never let you go. I meant it."

She groaned. "Sirius let me go before you have a heart attack!"

"No, I won't!"

"Fine, be that way!" She sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

Sirius nodded. "Of course you can."

Sam sighed again. "You have to answer honestly." He nodded again. "Was it all a lie? Did you ever love me?"

"What the hell are you doing, Sam? Why are you on his back? Do you have him in the choke hold?"

Sirius let her down and they turned around. Remus was staring at them in disbelief. "No worries, Moony! We were just starting over. I was giving her a piggy back ride like I used to. She's a lot heavier than I remember." She glared at him and punched him in the arm. He winced and rubbed his arm. "And she's a lot stronger too."

She smiled brightly. "A year and a half of being a beater will do that! By the way, stop implying that I'm fat or I really will hurt you!"

He held up his hands in defense and laughed. "I wasn't implying anything! I swear that I wasn't! I'd never be stupid enough to say that! You aren't fat!"

Remus shook his head in confusion and sighed. "Sam, can I talk to you for a moment in private?" She nodded and walked away from Sirius. "What the hell was that all about?"

Sam lightly laughed. "Sirius had this crazy idea about starting over. That's all."

"You seem to be on friendly terms with him."

She shrugged. "I said I would try and I am."

"That's good to hear." He smiled. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Do you want to go to the ball with me? As friends, of course."

She smiled and kissed him. "I'd love too, Moony." He sighed in relief.

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James sat down on his bed across from Sam. "What's this all about?"

San smiled at him. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you before being sent away."

"You already apologized for that."

"I know but I wanted to do it again. You were just trying to look out for me and I treated you like crap. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry."

He hugged her. "It's ok, Sammy." He looked at her closely. "You really scared me with the way you acted. I was afraid that I lost you for good."

"You could never really lose me, James. Even when I acted like an ass, I still loved you."

"Sammy…I was terrified that night. You were screaming so loud and you looked so scared. When they put the restraints on you…I never want to go through that again."

"Neither do I. That's why I've wanted to apologize to you. I was so scared that night and you were right there, trying to protect me."

"I'll always protect my little sister. No matter what, I'll always protect you."

She started to cry and he held her tightly. "James, I want you to know that I love you. You may be the only brother that I will ever have but I love you very much. You've always been there for me and that means more to me than you will ever know. You are the best big brother in the world, Jimmybean."

He blushed and laughed. "You are the greatest little sister, Sammabelle. I love you, Sammy. You never have to doubt that."

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "What happened between you and Mama?"

James sighed. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Tell me, James."

"She has known about your…condition since she was pregnant with you."

Sam was utterly shocked by this. "What? Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Dad and I found out the night we took you to St. Mungo's. Dumbledore and that woman I used to call mum knew what you were and they did nothing to help you! They knew that you'd probably be hospitalized one day and they still did nothing!"

"James Igniaus Potter! You never disrespect our mother like that again! She couldn't have possibly understood anything about my condition! Dumbledore tried to warn me but _I _didn't listen! Don't blame this all on her!"

"Did you know that our grandmother was a dream seer, Samantha Eugenia?"

She sighed. "I did. I found out while I was away. You can't blame this all on her though. It would have happened regardless."

James stood up and paced. "That may be true but she should have warned us! We could have found some way to help you!"

"James, she didn't understand. She must have been terrified when she found out that her only daughter would possibly have the same fate as her crazy mother!"

"Don't say that! You aren't crazy!"

Sam hugged him and smiled. "No, I'm not. I've been clearing my mind and taking the potions Dumbledore said to. I'm going to be fine. Please, forgive Mama for not saying anything sooner."

He made a face. "Why should I?"

"Because I'm asking you to. Think of it as my last request."

"Y-Your last request?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's just a saying!"

"Think of a better one!" He sighed. "What did you see in that dream, Sam?"

Sam smiled. "Forgive Mama and I'll tell you."

"Tell me, Samantha."

She sighed. "I-I saw my future. It doesn't look good." He gulped. "I wind up…looking like scary Aunt Virginia."

James let out a loud laugh. "Stop messing with me!"

She giggled. "I'm not! Anyone would be scared if they knew they'd wind up looking like her!"

"You're such an ass!"

"I've learned from the best!"

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "One more thing."

"What is it?"

"If you ever tell Lily my middle name, I'll have to kill you."

Sam laughed. "I won't. Don't tell anyone my middle name either." He nodded. "What were our parents thinking when they came up with these names?"

James laughed. "I like to think that they were drunk as hell. That's the only comforting thought I could come up with."

"I like that."

"There's something else that I have to tell you."

"Yes?"

He sighed. He looked so nervous that she almost laughed. "I'm going to Lily's house after Christmas dinner." She nodded slowly. "Her parents met me before and they seemed to like me, right?"

Sam nodded eagerly. "Of course they do! She told me that they wanted her to start going out with you in your fifth year after they met you."

James looked slightly relieved. "I'm going to ask for their permission to marry her."

Her mouth hung open and let out a loud gasp. "A-Are you serious?"

He smiled. "Yes, I am."

She tackled him to the ground. "James, this is amazing! This is beyond amazing! I can't believe it! You're getting married?"

James laughed. "I hope so. I hope she reacts the way you did!" He sighed. "I'm nervous as hell though."

"Of course you are! This is a huge step! Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I've always loved her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Do you think she will say yes?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "Yes, I do. The night after your first date, she said that she knew you were the one for her."

"She did?" She nodded. "That's good to know."

"When are you going to ask her?"

James grinned. "Let me get her parents permission first." She nodded again. "You can't tell her, Sam. I know she is your best friend and all but you can't tell her."

"James, I would never ruin this special moment for the two of you! This is amazing!"

"I know. I still can't believe she loves me."

"I can. You two are meant to be."

"Like you and Sirius?"

Sam's face slightly fell. "I-I don't think so. You and Lily are really meant to be."

"Sammy-"

"James, don't. Sirius and I had our chance and it didn't work out. We are trying to be friends. Maybe that's all we were really meant to be." He sighed. "Don't take away from this happy moment with talk about such depressing things. You're going to marry your dream girl, big brother!"

He laughed. "Yes, I am!"

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Sam was alone in the familiar white haze. Everything seemed to look the same as it did the last time she was there. She was wearing the same white wedding gown and her hair swept her back as she walked around. There was complete silence as she walked around looking for a sign of someone else being there with her. "I'm not afraid. I am _not_ afraid." She muttered to herself.

"There's no reason to be."

She jumped in surprise at the voice. She turned around and gasped. Patrick was standing there with a bright smile on his face. "P-Patrick, is that really you?"

Patrick's smile grew as he nodded. "It's really me."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here to see you. There's something you need to know. There's something that we have to help you with."

Before she could ask any questions, Remus, Sirius, and Michael appeared out of thin air. They smiled at her and she was confused as hell. "What's going on? Why are you all here?"

They laughed in an eerie way. "You have to know that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, Sam." Patrick said. "You were good to me and I hurt you. I really wish I could take that back. I've changed. I'm not the same person that made that stupid bet. I've grown up a lot and I just thought that you should know how sorry I am."

Sam nodded slowly. "T-Thank you, Patrick. It doesn't matter anymore." He nodded. "I still don't understand what's going on."

The others stayed silent while Patrick spoke. "We are here to help you decide."

"Decide what?"

He smiled. "You need help letting go. You need help deciding who the right one is for you."

"I don't understand. Why do I have to make this decision right now?"

They sighed. Patrick gave her a grave smile. "Time is running out, Sam. It's time to make a choice. You need to know for sure. It's time to know."

She gulped. "It's too soon. I'm not supposed to decide."

Remus smiled gently at her. "Don't be scared, Sammy. You won't hurt us if you make a choice."

Patrick nodded. "He's right, Sammy. One of us is the right one for you. The rest of us are here to help you make the choice."

"H-How do I choose?"

Michael winked at her. "It's easy. Just forget about the past and follow your heart."

Sam looked at Patrick and sighed. "I never loved you, Patrick. I'm sorry but that's the truth."

"I know, Sam. It's okay."

Michael hugged her. "I've loved you for a long time and you will love me one day." She nodded slowly. "It will be fine, Sam."

"I'm scared, Michael. What if I make the wrong choice?"

He smiled. "We're here to help you."

Remus hugged her when Michael walked away. "I love you, Sammy."

She held onto him tightly. "I love you too, Remus."

He caressed her cheek and smiled. "Don't be so scared, Baby. You know who to choose."

"I choose you, Moony."

He lightly laughed. "As much as I want to be the one for you, I'm not. You're choosing out of fear."

Sam kissed him. "I'm not choosing out of fear. I love you! I always have!"

"I know you love me. I love you too. We will always have a special place in our hearts for each other but I'm still not the one."

She went over to Michael and kissed him. "You said that I will love you one day?" He nodded. "I choose you." She closed her eyes and kissed him again. When she opened her eyes, she let out a loud gasp. Sirius was holding her. "Sirius, what are you doing? I chose Michael!"

Sirius laughed. "He isn't the one, Sam. You know that."

Sam tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't loosen his hold on her. "It can't be you! It just can't be!"

He kissed her and she felt like she melted into him. "You know I'm the one, Sam. You've always known. You can't fight it."

"Why does it have to be you?"

Sirius whispered in her ear. "You will always love me. Wherever you are and whoever you are with, I'll always be the one you love."

"Why do I have to love someone who doesn't love me?"

"I've always loved you, Sammy. I was just scared to let you in." He kissed her. "There's no one else for me. Just say the words and we can be together."

"What words?"

He smiled. "You know what words to say."

She opened her mouth but quickly shut it. She looked at him closely. "My choosing you is selfish, isn't it?"

Sirius shrugged. "It might be. Say the words, Sammy. You know you want to."

"How can I trust this? How can I trust that you feel the same way?"

"You just have to believe. You know in your heart that you believe me. Just say the words, Sammy."

She gave him a pathetic look. "I'm scared, Sirius."

He kissed her forehead and brought her closer. "I know. So am I. We can be scared together." She lightly laughed. "You'll feel better if you just say the words."

"I…I love you, Sirius. I choose you." Sam felt a weird twinge in her chest. Sirius smiled as he held her tightly to him. She kissed him and felt a sense of relief. "I finally made the right choice, haven't I?"

Sirius smiled and nodded. "Yes, you did. You always knew I was the one. We are meant to be. We were just scared for a while. We don't have to be scared anymore."

"Do you think the others are mad at me?"

"Take a look for yourself."

Sam looked away from him and smiled at the others. They smiled back at her. Remus stepped forward and hugged her. "You've made the right choice, Sammy. He will make you happy one day."

"You aren't mad at me, Remus?"

He smiled slowly. "I'm not mad." She sighed happily. "It's almost time for you to wake up now."

She looked scared and hugged Sirius tightly. "I don't want to leave."

Patrick sighed. "You can't be here forever, Sam. You have to live your life."

"I just got him back! Why do I have to leave him? I don't want to leave him!"

Sirius kissed her temple. "We will be together one day, Sam. It's time to wake up now. You need to live."

Sam kissed him. "Promise me, Sirius. Promise that one day we will be together."

He smiled brightly. "I promise we will, Sam. One day, we will be together. We will love each other forever."

Sam smiled. "Ok, I can wake up now."

Remus stopped her. "Before you go, I have to tell you that Lily knows about my condition." She was about to speak when he cut her off. "Wake up, Sam!"

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* * *

Sam woke up in a cold sweat. She looked around the room and sighed. Her roommates were sound asleep. She laid back down and let out a soft groan. "This can't be happening." She muttered to herself.

She got out of bed and snuck into his room. She made sure to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake the others. She sat down on his bed and sighed. He looked so peaceful and she smiled in spite of herself. She brushed some hair off of his face and kissed his forehead. "I still love you but I don't know why." She whispered. He smiled and sighed. He was whispering something but she couldn't hear him. "What did you say?" She muttered.

He whispered again and she leaned in closer. He reached up and kissed her. He rolled over and trapped her underneath him. "This is not good." She groaned. He moaned and started kissing her again. Her eyes widened in surprise but she quickly started kissing him back. She ran her nails down his bare back and sighed when he kissed her neck. She knew this wasn't right. She was annoyed at herself for going to his room for such a stupid reason and for getting caught up when he kissed her. She was annoyed at him for…just being him. Sam had enough and punched him in the back. "Wake up, Black!" She grunted as she punched his back again.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Sirius glared as he tried to rub his back. He gasped in surprise when he realized that she was staring up at him. "Sam, what are you doing here?"

"Be quiet! You don't want to wake the others!" She whispered.

He sat up and helped her up. "What are you doing here?" He whispered.

"Can we talk downstairs?"

Sirius nodded and quietly followed her to the common room. They sat on the window seat and he shivered. "What did you want to talk about?"

Sam smiled. "I forgot that you slept without a shirt on. Are you cold? Do you want to sit by the fire?" She noticed the look on his face and she let out a nervous laugh. "I guess not."

He blushed. "What happened in my room? Why were you under me?"

She blushed at his questions. "I had to talk to you about something. When I …tried to wake you up, I got trapped underneath you."

Sirius slowly nodded. "Did anything else happen?"

"You rolled over, trapped me, groped me, and tried to kiss me. Sorry but I had to punch you to wake you up." She said as she pushed her hair to the side.

"Is that a hickey? Did I do that?"

She blushed and let out a groan. "Yes, it is and yes, you did." He gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. "Ok, I let you kiss me for a few moments. Don't judge me."

Sirius laughed loudly. "I would never judge you."

"Oh shut up! I stopped you before anything serious happened."

He struggled to keep his laughter in but failed miserably. She groaned as she put her face in her hands. He pulled her to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her hand and their fingers entwined. "Don't be embarrassed. I would have done the same thing if I was in your position. Actually, I would have let things get serious." He laughed.

Sam shyly smiled. "I really wish I stayed in my room."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "I'm glad you didn't." She blushed. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She sighed. Having his arms around her like that made her want to hold on to him forever. "I had this weird dream. You were the last person I talked to when I had that last weird dream. It just seemed to make sense to talk to you about it now."

"Was it about those kids again?"

She shook her head. "It was…just weird. All my ex-boyfriends were there. They were telling me that I had to make the right choice."

He sighed. "Was I there?"

Sam nodded and lightly laughed. "You were so damn annoying."

Sirius laughed and squeezed her to him. "I've been accused of that before. What choice did you have to make?"

She gulped. She couldn't tell him the truth. He would most likely make fun of her for being stupid enough to hold on to something that was never real. "Career choice! Each of you were career choices. I had to choose one of you for the perfect job. It was…uh…really weird."

He gave her a weird look and slowly nodded. "Well, who did you choose?"

"I kept trying to choose the others but it was…you that turned out to be the right choice for me." She sighed. "I mean, the career choice you represented was right, not you specifically."

Sirius smiled. He understood that there was definitely a double meaning in what she was saying. He decided to play along anyway. "What _career choice_ did I represent?"

"Curse breaking. The type they do in Egypt for Gringotts. Michael told me all about it. He went there last summer for an internship. He convinced me to apply for one but I wasn't completely sure I should until now."

"Why wasn't Michael the choice then?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. He just wasn't you." He smirked and she glared at him. "Don't you dare use this against me! This doesn't mean that I love you!"

He continued to smile as he nodded. "I understand. We are just friends."

Sam nodded. "Yes, we are. If we have to start over everyday just so I have to prove to you that I don't love you anymore then we will!"

"That's fine with me. I know you don't love me anymore." He winked at her.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're such a git sometimes."

"That's why you love me." He groaned when she punched his chest. "Do I have to be your personal punching bag?"

Sam gently touched the bruise on his chest and smiled. "Yes, you do. No one else makes those funny noises when I hit them like you do." Sirius rolled his eyes and shivered. "Sirius, its December! Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I like to show off the manly bruises I got from you kicking my ass." She let out a loud laugh. He sighed. "Sam, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "The night you went to St. Mungo's…the dream that caused you to…was it my fault?"

She stared at him for a moment. "What are you talking about? Why would you think that?"

Sirius looked away but she forced him to look her in the eyes. "We were fighting a lot. We weren't getting along and I had made that stupid assumption about you being pregnant. If all that didn't happen, would you have been fine? Would you have still been sent away?"

She smiled at him. "Sirius, even if that whole stupid thing didn't happen, I would have still had that dream. I still would have been sent away. It wasn't your fault. I passed out because I stopped taking care of myself-"

"Because of me!"

"No, because I was weak. You were right about me. I was weak and let myself get caught up in my own pain."

He looked at her with a pained expression on his face. "I was wrong, Sammy. You aren't weak."

She shrugged slightly. "The point is that I wasn't taking care of myself and that caused me to pass out. The dream would have come anyway. It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't think that."

Sirius hugged her tightly. "I can't help it. All I've thought about was if that stupid rumor didn't happen then you would have been fine."

"Sirius, stop it! It wasn't your fault! There's no reason to blame yourself. I don't blame you."

He sighed. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course you can."

"What made you so scared? What did you see in your dream that made you have to be sent away?"

Sam smiled gently. "I saw…my parents naked!"

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Sam, that's disgusting!"

"I know! Wouldn't you be scared if you saw them naked too?"

"Stop messing with me!"

She hugged him. "Sirius, your friendship means a lot to me. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I do need you in my life. You keep me on my toes. I'm really sorry that I acted the way I did towards you. It was no fun not being around you."

He kissed her. "It was no fun not being your friend either. I need you in my life too, Sammy."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?" His eyes widened when she kissed him. He held her tightly to his chest. He pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her neck. He started to unbutton her shirt but she stopped him. "What's the matter? Why'd you stop?"

"You're with Sarah." She kissed him briefly and started to move away but he held onto her tightly. "What?"

"What was that?"

She blushed. "A kiss."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know that, Sam. What _was_ that?"

Sam shrugged. "I guess I needed it." He smiled. "I better go back to bed. Tomorrow, we have to start over again." He nodded. "Goodnight, Sirius."

"Sam?"

She turned and faced him. "What?"

"Are you wearing Remus' shirt?" She nodded. "Have you been sleeping in his bed again?" She shook her head. "Did you steal it?" She laughed and shook her head. "Why are you wearing it?"

She smiled and shrugged. "It brings me comfort."

He sighed. "He gave it to you?" She nodded. "Do you ever wear anything of mine?" She shook her head. "Why not?"

"You never gave me anything of yours." He sighed again and looked away from her. "Remus let me have this because he knew that I liked having him near me." He nodded solemnly. "I better get some sleep. You know what happens if I don't." She winked at him and laughed.

"That's not funny, Sam."

Sam hugged Sirius tightly. "It has to be. That's how I deal with it. It helps me to make it into a joke. Sweet dreams, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "Goodnight, Sam. Try to have good dreams." She nodded and left. He sighed when he was alone. He had a dream that he was with Sam in the abandon park again. This time instead of yelling at him and hitting him, she said she would always love him. She said that she would love him forever. When he woke up and saw her looking up at him, he thought his dream came true. When she said that he was right about her being weak, he felt a pain in his chest. He knew that when he broke up with her, the way he broke up with her, he took away a part of her sense of self and her strength. No matter what she said, he knew it was his fault that she acted that way. Sirius wanted her back with him but first he had to make her believe in herself again. He needed to help her realize her true worth.

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Sirius sat down next to Sam, who was whispering something into Remus' ear which caused him to blush, at breakfast. He nudged her with his shoulder and winked at her. She smiled brightly as she nudged him back. He stuck out his hand and she took it. "Hello, I'm Sirius Black."

Sam giggled. "Hello Sirius. I'm Samantha Potter. It's nice to meet you. Are you going to be a first year at Hogwarts'?"

He smiled. "Yes, I am. Are you?"

She shook her head. "No, not until next year. My brother is starting this year though."

The others gave them weird looks. They were honestly confused by Sam and Sirius' behavior. "You have a brother? How wonderful! Do you think your brother and I will be best mates?"

"Yes, I do. I bet that he will think of you as a brother. I'm sure you'll be closer than brothers."

They shared a laugh while the others continued to stare at them, completely confused. Lilac leaned into Lily's ear and whispered. "Do you think they got into the fire whiskey?"

Lily nodded slowly. "That's the only rational explanation."

"Yeah, I'm the _black_ sheep of my family." Sirius said with a wink.

Sam laughed. "Nice play on words."

"Thank you." Sirius smiled. "I think I will leave my sorry excuse of a family and live at your house. I hope you don't mind."

She giggled. "No, I don't mind at all. Just remember that my brother is a loud snorer who drools too much." Sirius laughed and nudged her in the shoulder. She nudged him back.

"What the hell is wrong with the two of you?" James asked while eyeing them closely.

"Are you two drunk?" Kevin asked.

Sirius smiled. "No, we're not. We just decided that we had to start over to be friends."

"I thought you already did that?" Remus asked as he rubbed Sam's back.

Sam smiled at him. "We had to start over again."

"Why's that?" Patty asked.

Sirius and Sam shared a look and blushed. "No reason." Sirius muttered.

James groaned. "You didn't sleep together, did you?"

Sirius laughed. "No, we didn't. She was begging me for it though." They laughed and Sam punched him. He groaned loudly. "You've got to stop punching me!"

"Stop being a wuss!"

"You hit too hard! You saw the bruises!" He opened his shirt and lifted up his sleeve. The others gasped in surprise. "She's freakishly strong!"

Sam blushed. "Ok, I promise to stop hitting you…so much. I'm sorry Sirius."

He shrugged. "It's quite alright."

The post cam and an unfamiliar owl swooped down in front of Sam. She looked at it closely before untying the package and giving the owl some food off of her plate. "Who sent me a package?" She muttered to herself.

James rolled his eyes. "Open it up and find out, you git."

She rolled her eyes at him and opened the package. She stared at it in surprise before smiling brightly. "I can't believe it."

"What is it, Sammy?" Frank asked.

Sam took the old dark green shirt out of the box and held it up to her nose. She bit her lip and sighed happily as she took in its scent. Sirius slowly smiled as the others looked at her oddly. "You're excited over an old shirt?" Mary asked incredulously. "Whatever does the trick, I guess."

Sam looked at Sirius in amazement. "I can't believe you did this." He blushed and shrugged. "Did you put your cologne on it?" He shrugged again. She smiled at him. "This was very sweet of you."

Sirius wrapped his arm around her neck and squeezed her to him. He kissed her temple and smiled. "It was nothing. I just thought you could use another option about what you wear to sleep."

She hugged him tightly. "This means a lot to me. Thank you, Sirius."

He stared at her closely and smiled. "I just wanted you to have something else of mine."

"What did I have of yours?"

Before he could answer, Lily smacked James upside his head. "You disgusting git!"

James rubbed the back of his head and stared at her in surprise. "It was only a request! There was no reason to get violent!"

"I haven't shown you my violent side yet!"

"I think this is a preview into their wedding night." Sirius whispered into Sam's ear.

Sam struggled to keep her laughter in and poked him in the ribs. "You're terrible!"

He rubbed his side and poked her. "I thought you said that you would stop hitting me?"

She pushed his shoulder and laughed. "I said that I wouldn't hit you so much and I didn't hit you. I poked you. There's a difference."

Sirius tickled her but he stopped and let out a loud yelp. Everyone stared at him but quickly went back to their conversations. Sam turned her head and whispered something in Remus' ear which caused him to blush again. Sirius saw James smiling at him and he rolled his eyes. "What are you smiling at?"

James continued to grin. "Are you two getting back together?"

He smiled and shrugged. "No, we're just friends." James rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, mate! She just wants to be friends!"

"What do you want?"

Sirius smirked and winked. "I'm working on getting what I want."

James laughed but quickly groaned. "Sam, do you have to do that in front of me?"

Sam looked at him in confusion. "What the hell did I do?"

"You were snogging Moony!"

She rolled her eyes. "I was not, you dick! I kissed his cheek!"

Sirius laughed as they continued to argue but it quickly stopped when he yelped again. The others stared at him in surprise. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Kevin asked.

He looked at Sam. "Did you just pinch my bum again?"

Sam stared at him like he was crazy. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Someone…you…pinched my bum twice!"

"I did not! For your information, I've been busy rubbing Remus' bum for the last ten minutes!"

Everyone looked at Remus in amusement. He smiled and nodded. "It's true."

Robin Lynch walked by and winked at Sirius. "Looking good, Black."

"I see we've found out who's been pinching your bum, Sirius." Patty said as everyone laughed.

Sam smiled brightly at Sirius. "What?" He asked.

"I think you owe me an apology."

"I'll give you an apology!" He pulled her to him and started tickling her. She was gasping for air as she laughed. "There's your apology!"

Their fun quickly ended when they heard Sarah's voice. "What the bloody hell is going on here?"

Sirius made a face and rolled his eyes. The others stifled their laughter as he turned around. "What do you mean?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and glared at Sam. "I know what you're up to, Potter! You want to shag my boyfriend!"

"They were just joking around! Aren't you being just a bit paranoid?" Frank said.

"Is his reputation making you nervous, Sarah?" Lilac asked with a smile.

Sirius pretended to look offended. "I'll have you know that my reputation is of being a complete and perfect gentleman!"

"Sure it isn't." James laughed. Sirius smirked.

"She wants to shag my boyfriend!" Sarah yelled.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Actually Sarah, I don't. No offense to Sirius but I'm not in the mood to shag him. Plus, he bruises too easily." They laughed while Sarah continued to glare.

Remus leaned into Sam and whispered in her ear. "She's a bit annoying, isn't she?" Sam nodded and laughed.

"What the hell are you laughing at, Potter?" Sarah glared.

Sirius groaned. He really wished that she would go away. "Sarah, leave her alone! She was just joking around with you! We are just friends! Stop acting so damn crazy!"

Sarah stared at him in shock. "You think I'm acting crazy!" Everyone eagerly nodded. "You can go to hell, Potter! I'll watch you all day if I have to! Just to make sure you stay away from him!"

Sam groaned. "Well, I should warn you that after classes, I'll be really busy. I've made plans to shag Remus senseless."

Remus smiled at Sarah. "It's true. We did." Everyone laughed. "It wouldn't be appropriate if you watched us."

Sarah was fuming. "You all would just love it if she got her hooks into Sirius again, wouldn't you?" They rolled their eyes. "Well it won't happen! He never loved her! We had a good laugh over how he used you, Potter! You are a complete moron for believing you ever had a chance with him!"

Lily stood up and glared at Sarah. "You better shut your face, Rudolph! If you don't, I'll hex you all the way back to the womb!"

"Why should I? I'm only telling the truth! Sirius told me how he never loved her and used her for sex! He told me he only wanted me!"

Sirius stood up and faced Sarah. "Shut up, Sarah!"

"W-What did you just say to me?"

"I told you to shut up! Leave Sam alone! We're just friends and there's no reason to attack her!"

Sarah stared at him closely. "I can't believe you're defending her after what you told me!"

He glared at her. "Leave her alone!" Sarah huffed before stalking off.

"Aren't you going to go after her, Sirius?" Lily asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Hell no! This is the best start to my day! I love it when she's angry! She'll leave me the hell alone and I don't have to hear her whiny voice!" They laughed. He turned to Sam and sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Sam. Don't pay any attention to her."

Sam quietly ate her food and merely shrugged. "I wasn't really listening anyway. Whenever Sarah speaks, my ears automatically turn off."

Sirius lightly laughed. "So do mine."

Lilac looked at her closely and noticed how hard Sam was trying not to cry. "Hey Sam?" Sam looked up and Lilac casually winked at her. "Did you remember to take your Transfiguration essay off your dresser? You wanted me to remind you just in case you've forgotten."

She smiled. "No, I didn't. I better go get it before class. Thanks, Lilac."

She winked and nodded. "Anytime, Sammy. I forgot mine as well. I'll go with you."

The girls got up and walked to the door. Sirius ran over to Sam and awkwardly smiled. He handed her the shirt he gave her. "You don't want to forget this."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, Sirius."

He pulled her away from Lilac and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry about what Sarah said. She's just a jealous shrew."

She laughed as she pulled away. "It didn't bother me. I put up with her because she makes you happy. If she didn't, I'd hex the bitch." Sirius laughed and she left with Lilac.

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Lily and Sam walked down the hallway after classes. Sam was listening to Lily complain about James. He was staring at her all day and trying to apologize to her for what he said at breakfast. "To think he actually had the nerve to say that to me! What he asked me for…was gross!"

Sam smiled at her. "What exactly did he ask you for?"

Lily blushed. "I can't tell you! It's too embarrassing!"

She rolled her eyes. "Just tell me, Lily. I can't possibly judge anyone after what I've done with Severus." Lily sighed and whispered in her ear. Sam let out a loud laugh. "He didn't ask for that!"

"He did! It's too gross!"

"Lily, that's not gross!"

"How can you say that!"

Sam shrugged. "I can say that because I've done that."

"What! With who?"

"With Patrick, Remus, and Sirius. It's not a big deal. I mean, if you have a problem with it then you definitely shouldn't do it but don't treat him like he's a pervert."

Sirius snuck behind them. He wrapped his arms around Sam's waist, picked her up and spun her around once. "What are you beautiful young ladies talking about?" He asked while rubbing his cheek against Sam's.

Sam laughed as he continued to hold her around the waist and briefly kissed her neck. "Lily was just telling me what James requested at breakfast."

Remus walked over to them and smiled. "What's going on?"

Sirius moved around and put his arm around Lily's shoulders as Sam held Remus' hand. "Lily told Sam what James said to her at breakfast."

"What did he say?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged in response.

Lily was turning bright red. "Sam, don't tell them!"

She giggled. "They won't make fun of you! They'll make fun of him!" She whispered in their ears and they laughed. "See, I told you! It's perfectly normal!" They continued to laugh as they nodded. "I told her it wasn't gross! If it was, I wouldn't have done that with you two and Patrick."

They stopped laughing and stared at her. "Patrick!" They yelled in unison.

"Obviously, it's not a big deal." Lily said with a smile.

Sam rolled her eyes. "It's not a big deal! So what if I did that with Patrick? Why do you two care so much?"

"Because he is an unworthy git!" Sirius grumbled.

Remus nodded in agreement. "He's right, you know. I can't believe you never told us."

She laughed. "It never came up." They rolled their eyes. "Lily, you should just talk to James. Tell him that you don't think it will happen."

Lily sighed. "I'm not saying it won't happen ever." They smiled at her and she rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up! I just wasn't sure…I can't talk to you about this with them here!"

Sam took her to the side and made the boys walk away. "What's the problem?"

Lily blushed again. "How do you…what I'm asking is…can you…explain it to me?" Sam smiled and whispered in her ear just in case the boys were trying to listen. Lily nodded slowly. "So, that's it?" Sam nodded and whispered in her ear again. Lily's eyes grew wide and she nodded again. "He has to do that?"

She shrugged. "It would be nice of him to do that for you."

Lily slowly smiled. "That doesn't sound too awful."

Sam laughed. "It's not, trust me." She started hysterically laughing. "Do you want to know what is awful _and_ gross?"

"What?"

"Me giving you advice about this for my brother!" Lily laughed out loud. "I think this is a sign that my brother and my lives are too closely entwined."

Lily laughed again. "I think you are right about that but what can you do? You've dated two of his best friends and you're best friend is dating him."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe I need a new best friend."

Lily gasped in shock and pushed Sam. "I'm the best thing in your life, Potter!"

Sam laughed. "That's right, you are. You and my brother are the best people."

"Damn straight!"

Sirius and Remus cautiously walked over to them and smiled. "Are you two finished?" Remus asked.

Sam smiled and hugged him. "Yes, we are."

Sirius hugged Lily and winked at her. "How'd it go? Did she convince you?"

Lily blushed and smacked his arm. "That's none of your business, Black!"

"Don't worry, Lily. James will tell us all about what his _Lilykins_ does."

"'Lilykins?'" Sam asked.

Remus laughed as he wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder. "That's his _cute_ nickname for her. Do you want to know her nickname for him?"

Sam laughed and nodded eagerly as Lily's eyes widened in embarrassment. "You better shut your face, Lupin!"

Sirius smiled evilly at Lily. "Why shouldn't we tell Sam that you call him…your little cuddlebum?"

Lily groaned and blushed. "I really hate you lot!"

Sam was laughing hysterically. "Lily, ew!"

Lily looked at her with a smile. "What about your nicknames for these two?"

"Lily, shut up!"

"What nicknames?" They asked in unison.

"Lily, I'm sorry. I'll never make fun of you again! Please, don't say anything!"

Lily sighed. "Ok, I won't." Sam let out a sigh of relief. "Remus was her conquering hero and Sirius was her madman."

Sam blushed and groaned. "I really do hate you, Lily."

"'Conquering hero?'"

"'Madman?'"

Lily laughed. "See, it's no fun!"

"You're pure evil, Evans!"

"That's why you love me!"

Sirius gave Remus a serious look. "Moony, did I ever tell you that you're my conquering hero?"

Remus shook his head sadly. "No, you haven't, Padfoot. It takes some of the pain away now that you have. Besides, you are my favorite madman."

Sam shook her head in disbelief. "I really do hate you three. You are so damn evil!"

They laughed. "Why didn't you ever tell us these nicknames?" asked Remus.

"And why do we have these specific ones?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not saying a word!" Sam said.

Lily laughed. "I can tell you!"

She whispered in their ears and they smirked at Sam. "Oh really!" They said in unison.

Sam sighed. "You're all bastards, I hope you know." They laughed.

Remus smiled at her. "It's funny!"

She smiled and laughed. "It's a little funny." Remus whispered in her ear and she blushed. "Why should I?" He whispered again. She nodded. "We'll see you two later. We have something to do."

Sirius and Lily watched them leave and saw Sam kiss Remus briefly on the lips. They ran down the hall laughing and Sirius sighed. Lily hugged him. "Are you ok?"

He shrugged. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius, come off it! Talk to me! We are friends, aren't we?"

Sirius smiled at her and hugged her tightly. "Yes, we are." She smiled brightly. "It's hard to see her with him."

Lily shrugged slightly. "Well, she is single and so is he."

He sighed. "I've made a terrible mistake, Lily."

"Yes, you did."

"I know she just wants to be friends but it's hard." He groaned. "What the hell is wrong with me? I'm Sirius Black! I have most of the girls in this school following me around and I'm too busy pinning away for someone who doesn't want anything to do with me!"

"You're arrogant!" Lily rolled her eyes when he looked offended. "Sirius, you broke the girl's heart! You're lucky she still talks to you! You need to respect her wishes and just be her friend!"

"I love her, Lily!"

She glared at him. "You did a real nice job showing her that when you broke up with her!" He looked shocked. "You know she showed me your break up! What you did to her was completely cruel! You're lucky you still have friends, Sirius!"

"I made a mistake!"

Lily sighed. "Do you remember when you begged me to help you get her to go out with you?" He nodded. "You promised me that you really loved her. You promised me that you wouldn't hurt her. You lied to me, Sirius. You lied to James and you lied to Sam. You should consider yourself lucky that we even talk to you!"

Sirius looked away from her. "I'm sorry, Lily. I hurt the people that I care most about because I was scared. I _am_ lucky that I still have you all in my life; I know that much for sure. I just want her back. I need her back."

"You are just going to have to wait until she is ready. That's all you can do."


	38. Chapter 37: Girl Fight

Author's Note: I know I've said it before but damn! This is a long ass chapter! It took my three days to type...I can only type at night really. I know some parts will be boring and others entertaining...my favorites are with Sam and Sirius...Just so you know. Btw, I know it's unlikely but just so you know, I became obsessed with piercings and tattoos(sp?) and that's why that certain part is in the story...I know that it would never really happen...in the books if this was in the books...Anyway! Enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 37: Girl Fight.

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Remus and Sam were lying down on his bed, talking. He was still making fun of her for the nicknames she gave him and Sirius. She groaned. "When will you stop making fun of me for that?"

Remus smiled. "It's only been ten minutes since I've found out! You have a little more torture to go through."

She sighed. "Ok, if you must."

He kissed her. "Oh, I must."

Sam straddled his hips and tickled him. "You can be so mean!"

He laughed and tickled her back. He soon stopped when he saw a mark on her neck. "What is that on your neck?"

She looked away from him and sighed. "I-It's nothing."

"Is that the reason why you and Sirius needed to start over again today?" She nodded slowly. "Sam, what's going on?"

Sam bit her lip. "We were talking and…it just happened. It was a mistake, Remus. It was a moment of weakness. I swear that we just kissed. I stopped him before anything could happen."

"Sammy, you don't have to explain yourself to me. We aren't together anymore."

"I just felt like I had to." She sighed. "I know I shouldn't have done it and there's no excuse for it." He looked at her closely. "I still love him and I still love you. Sometimes, I feel like I'm torn."

"What do you mean?"

She looked away from him but he forced her to stare at him. "My feelings for the two of you drive me up the walls. I'll always love you both so much. You two have meant so much to me for so long and I just don't know what to do about it. We aren't together anymore and Sirius is with Sarah…I don't know what I'm trying to say. I guess it hurts that everyone has someone but me."

Remus smiled at her and kissed her. "You'll always have me, Sammy. I know that we aren't meant to be but that doesn't mean we can't still enjoy being together. This is the longest we've been single and I think it's good for us."

"We can still be together occasionally, right?"

He laughed. "Of course we can." He looked at her and sighed. "You don't want to be with me to make madman jealous, do you?"

Sam laughed and shook her head. "No, I don't. I'd never use you like that, Hero." He laughed. "I love you, Remus. You'll always have a special place in my heart. No one can ever take that away from you."

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Lily walked into the common room and sighed when she saw James sitting on the window seat. He was staring out the window while looking confused. She sat across from him and smiled. "Come to hit me again?" He asked while he continued to stare out the window.

She held his hand and smiled. "I wanted to say that I was wrong to hit you. It's just that you surprised me and…I didn't…I just didn't understand."

James looked at her closely. "You could have just told me that instead of getting violent. I would have explained it to you. I'll explain it to you now if you want."

Lily blushed. "I had someone else explain it to me."

He looked like he was in pain. "Who explained it to you?"

Her blush grew darker and she nervously laughed. "I had Sam explain it…while Sirius and Remus were around."

James groaned and blushed. "They'll crucify me!" A thought hit him and his eyes went wide. "Wait! Did you just say that _Sam_ explained it to you?"

"Uh…yeah?"

He put his face in his hands and sighed. "That's just great! Could this day get any worse?"

Lily laughed as she held his face in her hands. She kissed him deeply and smiled. "You should be grateful."

"Why's that?"

"She convinced me." His eyes widened and he gave her a curious smile. "Believe me, she felt awkward about giving me advice but she did it so we can be happy."

James pulled her into his lap and kissed her. "Lily, I'm sorry I sprang it on you. I honestly didn't mean anything by it."

She blushed and smiled. "It's ok, James."

He blushed. "I love you, Lilykins."

"I love you too, cuddlebum."

They kissed deeply but were interrupted by their friends. "Aw, did the cute little couple make up?" Frank said.

They looked up and blushed while rolling their eyes. "Shove off, Longbottom." James grumbled.

Alice smiled at them as she poked Frank in the ribs with her elbow. He let out a loud yelp. "I'm glad that the two of you made up."

Sirius sat down next to them and smiled. "Yes, it's a great day! The super couple is back together!"

Lilac rolled her eyes. "Oh stuff it, Black! You're just upset that you're dating a shrew!"

He nodded. "You're right, Lilac." She smiled. "It could always be worse though." She gave him a curious look. "I could be dating you." She rolled her eyes.

Kevin laughed but stopped quickly when Patty and Mary slapped his arms. "Ow! What the hell was that for? It was funny!"

"Where's Sam and Lupin?" Chris asked.

Sirius sneered while Lily rolled her eyes when she looked at him. "They ran off somewhere together. They said that they had to take care of something."

They walked up to the boys' room but stopped before walking in. They heard Remus and Sam on the other side. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" James groaned.

"It sounds like Sam kept her promise to Sarah." Chris laughed.

"It sounds like Sam is converting to the Church of Lupin." Frank said.

"Praise the Lord." Kevin muttered. They laughed when they looked at each other.

Lily smiled. "We can't stay out here listening to them."

Peter ran up the stairs and glared at them. "Thank you for waiting for me! McGonagall really laid into me! You'd think she wasn't used to my screwing up by now."

"Peter, we're sorry." Sirius smiled evilly. "Why don't you go in first?"

The other's eyes widened in surprise as Peter nodded. He walked into the room and Sirius shut the door and held it closed. "Peter!" They heard Sam yell.

"Get out of here, Wormtail!" Remus growled. "We're in the middle of something here!"

They laughed while Peter banged on the door. "Let me out of here before they kill me!"

The door flew open and they saw Remus and Sam hiding under the sheets. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Sam groaned while trying to hide behind Remus.

James had an overwhelming urge to scratch out his eyes. "What the hell are you two doing?" He yelled.

"Mate, you know it's a bad sign when you need it explained to you." Frank said. James glared at him.

"Do you all have to stare at us like that?" Remus mumbled while blushing.

"Cover your eyes, Alice! We don't want you to jump on Remus. We all know you like to see him naked!" Kevin said.

Alice blushed. "Shove off, Kevin!"

"Can you all leave until we're done…talking?" Sam asked.

"How long will this take?" Frank asked with a smirk.

Sirius groaned. "Believe me mate, they take hours!"

They laughed while Remus and Sam blushed. "We'll be in Frank, and Kevin's room. Come by when you're done." Patty said. Lily dragged a shocked James out of the room and shut the door behind them.

Sam let out a loud groan when the door closed. "That was so embarrassing!" Remus nodded in agreement. "Nothing's quite as disturbing as your brother and your friends walking in on you while having sex."

"We don't hear you finishing!" Lilac yelled through the door. They heard the others laugh.

"Go away, Lilac!" Remus yelled. They heard them finally leave. "That was fun! Let's never let that happen again!"

Sam laughed and kissed him. "Let's never forget to lock the door!" He nodded and laughed.

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They walked into Frank and Kevin's room an hour later and were greeted by cat calls and wolf whistles. They sat down next to Kevin and Patty and blushed. "Would you lot please stop that?" Sam begged.

"Are you _begging_ us to stop, Sammy?" Chris asked with a mischievous smile. "Did Remus have to do the same thing?"

The others laughed while they blushed. "Shut up, Chris." Sam grumbled.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sam and laughed. She leaned into him and sighed. "What's going on?" He asked.

"We know what's been going on with you two." Frank laughed.

"Can we stop talking about _that_?" James grumbled. "I'm trying to repress that memory."

"I agree with James. Let's forget it ever happened." Sam said.

Lily smiled at them. "Are you two back together?"

Sam blushed when Remus kissed her cheek and held her tighter. "No, we're not. We are just friends."

"We're just friends, why don't we do that?" Sirius grumbled. They stared at him with wide smiles. "Did I say that out loud?" Sam rolled her eyes in response.

Kevin laughed loudly. "Nicely done, Lupin!"

James glared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Johnson?"

"N-Nothing! It didn't mean anything!" Kevin stuttered.

"Lay off him, cuddlebum!" Sam glared at him.

"'Cuddlebum?'" The others exclaimed in unison. James and Lily blushed.

"Can we please talk about something else?" Remus asked while blushing.

The conversation luckily changed quickly. Sirius stared at them and sighed. Seeing them like that again made him beyond jealous. The only saving grace was pulling that prank on Peter. He wanted to respect Sam's wishes and just be her friend until she was ready to come back to him, he really did, but it was hard. He missed her and really did enjoy spending time to get to know her again like they've been doing. When she was sent away, he realized how stupid he truly had been. Of course, he did know this before he even broke up with her but it took her not being around to make him realize just how impossibly stupid he actually had been. He watched and listened as their friends started to make fun of Sam and Remus again. "_I've got to break up with Sarah and get Sam back_!" He thought to himself.

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Remus was waiting outside of the statue entrance to Professor Dumbledore's office, waiting for Sam to finish talking with her counselor. He looked up and almost busted with laughter. Sirius was being dragged by Professor McGonagall to the statue. James and Lily were trailing behind them, trying to stifle their laughter. "Of all the nerve! You would think this being your final year that you would be over hexing people." Professor McGonagall scolded as she pulled his arm.

"Professor, he asked for it!" Sirius said with a smile.

She stopped and stared at him. A smile threatened to break out on her face. "Mr. Malfoy asked to be tied up, levitated, and spun around above a flight of stairs?"

He awkwardly nodded. "Well…he dared me to do it. He said 'I dare you, Black! You don't have the guts!' I had to prove to him that I had the guts to pull it off. So you see, it's not my fault, it's his."

Remus was shaking with his held in laughter. James and Lily were doing the same thing. "That's the most absurd think that I've ever hear!" Professor McGonagall said. She turned and glared at James and Lily. "Where were you two while all of this happened?"

Lily blushed. "W-We were patrolling the halls, Professor."

"Snogging in the halls does not count as patrolling, Ms. Evans." She said. Lily blushed in response.

"Professor McGonagall, Lily is telling the truth! We were patrolling like we were supposed to! We just didn't get there in time to…stop Sirius." James said.

Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes as she turned to the statue. She was surprised to see Remus standing there. "Mr. Lupin, what exactly are you doing here?"

Remus stood straighter as she glared at him. "I finished patrolling and I'm waiting for Sam to finish talking with…Professor Dumbledore, ma'am."

She smiled sadly. She knew about Sam's meetings with Dr. Roberts. "That's very sweet of you, Lupin." Remus blushed in response. "The four of you will wait outside the Headmaster's office until Samantha is finished. Then the three of you will explain to the Headmaster what happened. Is that clear?"

They nodded. They walked up the staircase and waited outside his office. They shared a laugh when she finally left. "Nice job with Malfoy, Padfoot." James said.

Sirius bowed. "I try, Prongs."

Lily rolled her eyes at them. "You're all gits!" They laughed in response. She looked at Remus. "Why is Sam meeting with Dumbledore again?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably and slightly shrugged. "I-I have no idea. I think he wants to meet with her weekly just to make sure she's doing ok." They nodded slowly.

"Samantha, calm down!" Andrew yelled. "Just tell me about them!"

"It hurts too much! Plus, I've already told you everything about them!"

"Who the hell was that and what are they talking about?" James growled.

Sirius and Lily shrugged while Remus looked away from them. "N-No idea, Prongs." He stuttered.

Sirius opened the door slightly so that they could hear and see what was going on. "Let's find out." He whispered.

"Sirius, get away from there! We shouldn't be listening!" Lily hissed. He rolled his eyes and smiled smugly when James and Remus stood near the door. She rolled her eyes at them. "Fine, just be quiet!"

"Why won't you talk about them?"

Sam groaned. "I just said that I told you everything about them! Why do I have to talk about them again?"

Andrew sighed. "They have been big parts of your life for a long time. They are the center for most of your pain. You have to talk about them because it will help you let go of that pain."

"What if I let go and lose them entirely?"

He smiled. "You will never lose them, Sammy." The boys scowled at that. That was their nickname for her. "You will have them in your life but to keep them, you have to let go of the pain they caused you." She sighed and nodded. "Tell me about Remus."

Remus' eyes widened in surprise. Sam lightly laughed. "I could talk about Hero forever!"

"Why do you call him 'Hero'?" Sam and Remus blushed. She told him and Andrew blushed while James glared at Remus, who looked away from him. "T-That's fascinating."

She giggled at the sight of his blush. "Did I embarrass you, Andrew?" Her eyes widened. "I-I'm sorry, Dr. Roberts."

Andrew winked at her and she sighed dreamily while the boys sneered and rolled their eyes. "You can call me Andrew. And just so you know, you didn't embarrass me. I was just surprised. Tell me about…uh…Hero?"

She blushed. "Remus is…amazing!" Remus blushed. "He is one of the sweetest, most caring, and gentle man I know. He has the patience of a saint! If you saw him help Peter with his homework, you'd know what I mean." They stifled their laughter. "He was my first _real_ boyfriend, my first love, and my first…well, you know. He's very protective of me. He doesn't trust you with me after I told him about our last session."

The others stared at Remus accusingly but he just shrugged in response. Andrew laughed. "Why doesn't he trust me? You're the one that hit on me!"

Their eyes widened. "He thinks that you enjoyed that. I told him that you were trustworthy." She sighed happily. "He has this way about him. I've always felt safe whenever I was with him. I would have done anything for him. I still would. Despite everything that happened between us, I still love him. It's stupid but I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him, kiss him, and when we…you know. He means so much to me and I couldn't imagine my life without him in it."

Remus was practically glowing. Andrew smiled at her. "That's not stupid, Sam. As you said, he was your first…everything. You never get over your first love." She smiled fondly. "Now, tell me about your _true_ love."

"What?"

"Sam, Remus was your first love but Sirius is your true love."

She rolled her eyes and groaned. "Do I have to talk about him?"

He laughed while Sirius sneered. "I thought you two were trying to be friends again? That was one of the assignments I gave you."

Sirius' face fell. Sam sighed. "We are friends. It's just hard to talk about him."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure it is. Why should we talk about that git? I say, cut him out of your life for good!"

Sirius growled but stopped quickly when Lily slapped him upside the head. "He's just trying to make her talk!" She hissed.

Sam stood up and glared at him. "I can't cut him out of my life! He's my brother's best friend and he lives with us! Plus, I love him!" Sirius smiled brightly. Sam laughed. "Nicely done, Andrew. I give up! I'll talk about him." Andrew smiled and nodded. "Sirius is one of a kind. He can be so sweet and caring when he wants to be. He can also be incredibly immature and childish." Sirius made a face when the others tried to hide their laughter. "Sirius is fiercely loyal to the ones he loves. I honestly think he would give up his own life if it meant that his friends would be safe."

"He sounds like a good guy to have around."

She laughed. "He really is. Whenever I'm around him, I feel like I can do anything. He makes me feel brave and strong…it's stupid to love someone who never loved you in the first place."

Andrew and Sirius sighed. "I think he does love you, Sam. From what you told me about Sirius' family, he never knew how to express his feelings. You are so open and true when it comes to the people you love and maybe he wasn't used to that."

"Maybe you're right. Sirius is a really great guy and he knows it!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "He can be so damn arrogant but I guess that's a part of his charm. I bet he could charm Dumbledore out of his robes if he tried. I just hope that he doesn't." They laughed. "Hero and Madman mean a lot to me."

"'Madman?'" She blushed when she told him the reason behind the nickname. James hit Sirius on the arm while Andrew blushed. "Please, no more explanations."

Sam giggled. "I promise, Andrew."

"Now, I want you to talk about your first breakup with Remus."

Her face went to stone. "D-Do I have to?" Andrew nodded. She sighed. "It was in my fourth year when it happened. We'd been together for close to a year. I-It started out like a normal day and then all hell broke loose." She bit her lip for a moment before continuing. "We were all worried about Sirius. Ever since the day we went to Diagon Alley, he had been acting oddly. He would snap at everyone, especially Remus and me. Well, the day before Halloween, he met me outside Charms and said he wanted to talk in private. We made plans to meet after dinner."

"What does Sirius have to do with your first breakup with Remus?" He asked.

"He has everything to do with it." Sam let out a breath and continued. "We went to his room to talk. He said that he knew Remus and I were sleeping together but that we loved each other so it was ok. Then he said that I shouldn't be with Remus. He said that I was supposed to be in love with only him even though he didn't love me in that way and then…he kissed me. I punched him and yelled at him. I called him an arrogant prat and that I couldn't believe how selfish he was to try to mess up a good thing between his two so-called friends." She wiped away tears that fell down her cheek. "Little did I know that Remus saw the kiss but nothing else. I only found out because Lily told me that he stormed off."

"What happened next?"

Sam made an angry face. "I found him and tried to tell him what really happened." She growled. "He wouldn't even listen to reason! Remus said the most terrible things to me!"

Andrew held her hand as she silently cried. The others stared at Remus closely. He looked like he was in physical pain. "What did he say to you?"

"H-He said that my plan to get Sirius work. There was never a plan. He said that Sirius finally loved me. He accused me of sleeping with him to gain experience for when I was finally with Sirius." Her chin trembled. "H-He c-called me a-a whore. He said that he only pretended to love me. R-Remus said that every time we slept together, it made him sick because he was trapped in my fat and ugly body."

"Keep going."

"I never imagined in my entire life that someone as wonderful as Remus could be so cruel. He would flirt with anything in a skirt if I was around. He showed me a picture of him and that…Hannah Benjamin snogging. He even sent me a package of the same picture with an opened condom wrapper underneath the picture." Sam glared at the floor like it was her sworn enemy. "After I received the package, after classes were over, I was walking down the hall with Lily and saw him with that person and they kissed right in front of me. I was livid and kissed the first boy that walked by. I gave Severus a right good scare with that kiss." She sighed. "James saw the kiss and dragged me to his room. He made me tell him everything. He was so angry to find out his little sister had been _violated_ at thirteen by a trusted friend."

Andrew smiled encouragingly at her. "How did you two get back together after all that?"

"Sirius went to Professor Dumbledore and learned how to do pensieves. He showed Remus what really happened."

"You forgave him after that?"

She shook her head quickly. "I couldn't. It was the night of the Christmas Ball, the night that was supposed to be our first anniversary. Remus got hurt and we went to the hospital wing. When we got back to the common room, we started talking. That's when we made up."

He gave her a moment to compose herself before speaking again. "Why did you break up the second time?"

"Please, don't make me talk about that."

"I know it hurts but it helps to let it out."

She groaned. "It was almost Halloween and I just started my fifth year. James begged me to join the Quidditch team. It was my O.W.L. year and I had all this work and the added pressure of daily practices made me very stressed out. I was in the library with Lily and I realized that I was late."

"What do you mean by 'late'?"

She rolled her eyes. "I thought I was pregnant!" His eyes widened and nodded slowly. "I didn't tell him right away. I guess I was scared of his reaction. I had a row with McGonagall and was sent to Dumbledore. He convinced me to tell Remus. The night I told him, he got drunk. After finding out that it was just a false alarm, I went in search of him. He was on the astronomy tower snogging and groping Hannah Benjamin." She let out a shaky breath. "I didn't break up with him right away. I was afraid to be without him. The night of the Christmas Ball, I realized that he wanted to be with Hannah. I ended it with him that night." She licked her lips and sighed. "He was upset but it was the right thing to do. If we stayed together, we would have torn each other to shreds."

"Do you ever regret that decision?"

She nodded. "Pretty much every day." She gulped back her tears. "I just wanted him to be happy. There was no point in staying together when he really wanted someone else."

Andrew tightened his grip on her hand. "Tell me about your break up with Sirius."

Remus was completely silent. Hearing Sam describe their break ups was almost too much for him to bear. Sirius went pale. He didn't know if he could stomach listening to her talk about what happened between them. "It hurt." She muttered.

"Tell me what happened."

"We got together over the summer. He was so attentive and sweet. It was unlike anything I ever imagined, you know?" He smiled. "Sirius didn't want anyone to know about us. He said the reason for the secrecy was because he didn't want to hurt Remus. The stupid git that I am, agreed to keep it from everyone." She rubbed her temples aggressively. "When we came back to school, things started to change. He lied to me about talking to James and Remus about us. I thought he was embarrassed to be with me. He was and I told him that when he got over his issues then we could be together. I broke up with him."

"How did you two get back together?"

Sam slightly smiled. "That night at dinner, I was talking with my friends. Lily was yelling at Sirius to stop being a git and try to get me back. I swear she had more faith in our relationship than anyone." Lily nodded solemnly. "Sirius barged his way over to me because I think he was jealous that Chris was giving me a hug. Chris was just trying to cheer me up and Sirius saw red. He made all these declarations of love and not caring about what people thought. He slid underneath the table and kissed me in front of everyone. I was in complete shock. He was so worried about what people would say about us but he kissed me for all to see!"

"That's a good thing."

She rolled her eyes. "I thought the same thing at the time. Too bad I was wrong." She sighed. "After that, things seemed to go up and down hill for us. Sirius became extremely moody. One moment, he didn't want me anywhere near him and the next, he would be all over me…I was coming back from the library after leaving him because my friends and him got into a row. Monica Winston, one of his ex-girlfriends, stopped me. She told me that she saw him kissing Sarah Rudolph in the stacks the previous night. I was so beyond upset. I went back to the common room and talked to Remus about it."

"Why did you talk to Remus instead of Sirius?"

Sam sighed and shrugged. "I-I don't know really. I guess I wanted to find out why _he_ cheated on me, to see if there was something wrong with me that caused the people I loved to cheat on me."

"There is nothing wrong with you."

She pretended that she didn't hear him and continued. "After our talk, we headed towards the common room. That's where I heard…" She trailed off. The memory of that conversation still hurt her.

James looked down at the ground in shame. Andrew smiled encouragingly at her. "What did you hear?"

Sam wiped away her tears and sighed. "I-I heard…James calling me a whore. I don't know how it came up and frankly, I don't care. He said that our parents raised me better than that. Sirius…he barely defended me. He practically agreed with James!" Sirius looked away in shame. "Lily began yelling at them. I ran to my room, crying. Remus yelled at them for me."

"Continue, Sam."

"The same night, Sirius and I…I was yelling at him for not defending me and for kissing Sarah. He denied it, of course. H-He also did the strangest thing. He began to cry and I held him for hours. He said he was sorry for the way he acted and that he loved me. He only truly wanted me. Little did I know that was the same night he first slept with Sarah. He seemed so terrified at the thought of losing me and begged me to never stop loving him and to never give up on us. I, of course, promised." She grew quiet for a moment and Andrew didn't want to rush her. Sirius' chin trembled slightly but he refused to cry. "He seemed like his old self again. Everything seemed to go back to normal but I was wrong…again."

Andrew sighed. He knew she loved those two with all her heart and still did but that she was basically suffocated by the pain they caused her. "Keep going, Sam."

"The night we broke up…he said that he wanted to have a special night where no one could bother us. We went to the Room of Requirement for some privacy." She blushed. "When we were…you know, it reminded me of our first time together. It felt like we connected on some different level, you know?" He nodded. "He took me up to the astronomy tower because he said he wanted to star gaze." She rolled her eyes. "He held on to me so tightly and I felt like I was home."

Sirius looked up in surprise. Andrew nodded. "Is this when he broke up with you?"

She nodded slowly. "Sirius pulled away from me and that's when it happened. He said that we couldn't be together because he never really loved me. He just wanted to know what the big deal was about sleeping with me. He said he…I was nothing except a spoiled brat that whined when I didn't get my way. Then he called me a whore who didn't deserve to be loved." James gulped down his rage. "Sirius then told me about how and where he cheated on me with Sarah. He said I brought it all on myself because I said I was the one that cheated on Remus."

"Why did you do that?"

"I was trying to protect Remus. I didn't want to cause any problems between him and his friends." She bit back a sob and continued. "I begged him to stay with me. He laughed when I cried and he called me weak. I-I begged him not to leave me…I BEGGED HIM!" They jumped when she yelled. "I sat for hours after he left, crying and holding myself."

Andrew watched her closely as she held back her tears. He wished he never forced her to talk about it but she needed to let go of her pain. "He was a damn fool to let you go and treat you that way. They all were!"

"When Remus and I broke up, I barely took care of myself because I was so depressed. I barely ate a thing but no one noticed because I hid it well. I still managed a bite here and there so I wouldn't be questioned but I didn't really take care of myself. When Sirius broke up with me, I became depressed again. I rarely had a bite of food, I rarely slept, and I became the biggest bitch."

"I doubt that."

Sam lightly laughed. "Oh, I was! I fully admit to it!" He laughed. "Dr. Roberts, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Is what they said about me true? Am I just a spoiled brat that whores herself around? Do I not deserve to be loved?"

He was shocked by her questions. The others shook their heads aggressively. "Samantha, how can you think that?"

She shrugged. "It's easy. Sirius, Remus, and James all said I was. It has to be true if they said that, right?"

"They were wrong! Sirius and Remus wanted to hurt you and they succeeded! I don't know why you're brother said that about you and I don't care! You aren't a whore and you are definitely not a spoiled brat! You deserve to be loved by someone who isn't _scared_ to love you back! Sam, you love with your whole heart and aren't ashamed to do so! That's what makes you brave and proud! You should never doubt yourself because three gits lied to you!"

They nodded in agreement while Sam sighed. "I'm just tired of not being good enough. I'm tired of loving people that don't love me in return. I want someone who will love only me and who won't cheat on me." She blushed before continuing. "I want to be someone's everything. Is that stupid?"

Andrew smiled gently at her. "It's not stupid to want all that. It's perfectly normal and you will find someone like that one day. You might have already met him but haven't realized it yet."

"You're not talk about yourself, are you?" He blushed while the boys scowled. She let out a loud laugh. "I was only joking, Andrew."

"I know." He sighed. "I want you to tell me about your dream."

"Which one? The one that caused me to go to St. Mungo's or the one I recently had?"

"The recent one."

"All my ex-boyfriends were there. They said I had to make the right choice before time ran out."

"What choice did you have to make?"

She slightly smiled. "I had to choose the one. I had to choose the right man for me."

"Who did you choose?"

"I tried to choose anyone but they said I was choosing out of fear. I was even tempted to choose that git Patrick but…it was Sirius." Sirius' eyes widened in surprise. "He said that no matter who I'm with or where I go, I will always love him. He was the one."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I felt…complete. I felt that it was the right choice but I didn't want it to be true. I can't let it be true because if I do, I know I'll wind up getting hurt all over again."

Andrew shrugged. "You never know. If you give him another chance, he might make you happy."

"Do you think my relationship with him was a rebound?"

"What makes you ask that?"

She shrugged and sighed. "I was with Remus for two years. I had a brief relationship with Chris and Michael. Then Sirius and I happened. I think as much as I love him, I always wondered if a part of our relationship was a rebound."

Sirius scowled. "I'm sure a part of your relationship was a rebound but for the most part, I believe the relationship was real. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have behaved the way you did when he broke up with you."

"Maybe you're right." She sighed. "My head hurts. Can we cut this session short? Can we wait to talk more until next week?"

"I won't be here. I'll be in Egypt until February counseling curse victims."

Sam smiled brightly. "You're going to Egypt?" He nodded. "I might be going there this summer!" The others looked up in surprise. "Michael is trying to convince me to apply for an internship with Gringotts. If I do apply, I'll be stationed in Egypt!"

Andrew smiled. "That's excellent, Sammy! You should apply! I think it will be good for you." The others rolled their eyes. "I'll be in Egypt over the summer, I'll look for you." They scowled in response.

"When do you leave for Egypt?"

"Sunday night. Why?"

She blushed. "The Christmas Ball is Saturday…do you think you could stop by?"

He blushed as well. "I'll see what I can do." She smiled. "Would you save me a dance?"

She bit her lip and smiled while the others eyes widened in surprise. "Of course I will."

They stood up and Sam hugged him tightly when they stood in front of the fireplace. "You can write to me while I'm away. In case you need someone to talk to." He said.

Sam blushed when his arms wrapped around her tightly. "I will. In case I don't see you, have a good time in Egypt."

He held her closer and smiled softly. "You will see me at the ball."

Her eyes widened when he leaned in. "W-What are you doing, Dr. Roberts?"

"What happened to calling me Andrew?"

She awkwardly nodded. "An-Andrew, what are you doing?"

Andrew sighed. "I don't know."

The others were surprised when this mysterious Andrew leaned in and kissed Sam. Remus stomped on Sirius' foot. "Moony, get off of my foot!" Sirius groaned loudly.

Remus gave him a meaningful look and Sirius understood. "Well, excuse me, Padfoot! It's hard not to step on your feet! They are abnormally big!" Remus yelled.

"You know what they say about a guy with big feet!" Sirius said while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up, Black! That's disgusting!" Lily groaned.

"Don't be such a prude, Evans!"

"She isn't a prude, Padfoot!" James said.

Sirius laughed. "Not anymore! Not since Sam gave her some advice!"

"I hate you, Black!" Lily grumbled while blushing.

Sam jumped away from Andrew and groaned. "I swear they follow me around!" Andrew laughed. "You better go. Only Remus knows about you."

Andrew kissed her again briefly. "I'll see you on Saturday, Sam."

He left and Sam shook her head in surprise. She couldn't believe he kissed her…twice! They walked in and stopped to look at her. "What are you lot doing here?" She asked in a small voice.

"I got in trouble and these two did as well because of me." Sirius said while avoiding her stare. He still couldn't believe that she thought of their relationship as just a rebound.

"Well, I'll wait for you outside until you're done with Dumbledore." Sam quickly left with Remus following her out.

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"So, what was your punishment?" Remus asked while holding Sam's hand. She was quiet. The kiss she shared with Andrew was still on her mind.

Sirius shrugged. "A week's worth of detention with Slughorn. Nothing too bad. I honestly think that Dumbledore was impressed by what I did."

"Did you two get in trouble?" Sam asked.

James shook his head. "No, we didn't. He understood that we didn't get there in time."

"That's good to hear." She muttered.

Sirius glared at her. "What's with you? Did kissing your counselor fry your brain or something?"

Their eyes widened and Sam stopped walking. "W-What did you say?"

He growled. "You heard what I said, Samantha!"

"You were spying on me?"

"Good thing we did too! How else would I have found out that I was just a rebound?"

"How could you invade my privacy like that?"

Sirius got in her face but she stood her ground. "How could you make me feel guilty when I was just an excuse for you to get over Moony?"

Sam was beyond angry. "How much did you lot hear?" They didn't answer her. "I can't believe you would do that to me!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, get off your high horse, Potter! We heard you yelling and we were worried! I'm glad we listened! Now, I know how you really felt!"

Remus stepped in between them. "Would you two stop? This is ridiculous!"

Sam glared at Sirius. "Do you know what's really ridiculous?"

He sneered. "What?"

"Ever falling in love with the likes of you!"

James pulled Remus out of the line of fire, for his own safety. "Best to stay over here, mate."

Sirius' eyes bulged. "Oh really? That's rich! From what I remember, you couldn't stop saying how lucky you were to be with me! 'Oh Sirius, I love you so much! I can't imagine my life without you in it!'"

"Are you mocking me?"

"Yes, I am!"

"I can't believe I actually lowered myself to sleep with you!"

"Well, if any guy stayed still long enough, you would eventually sleep with him!"

"Oh shit!" Lily muttered.

James pushed Sirius. "Don't talk to my sister that way!"

They turned their heads suddenly and glared at him. His eyes widened as he took a step back. "Shut up! This is between us!" They yelled in unison. They glared at each other. "Don't talk to him like that! He was only trying to help!" They growled. "Don't tell me what to do!"

Sam groaned. "Why do I put up with you? You know, I really do hate you!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed. "Like you haven't said that to me before! If you really did hate me then why were you all over me the other night?" She growled before walking off. Sirius followed her. "Where the hell do you think you're going? We're not finished!"

"Five galleons says he tackles her." James said.

"Ten says she head butts him after he tackles her." Remus added. The three of them shared a look and nodded.

"Get away from me, Black! Don't you dare touch me!" Sirius had a tight grip on her arm and refused to let go. "Get off of me or you'll regret it!"

"Twenty says she knees him in the groin before he tackles her!" Lily added quickly. She had faith in her friend's aggression. The boys laughed and nodded.

Sirius grabbed her other hand when she tried to hit him. "Stop trying to hit me!"

"Let go of me!"

"Make me!"

The others winced at his stupidity and when he groaned in pain. Sam had, in fact, kneed him in the groin. Lily giggled. "Twenty galleons for me!"

Sam tried to walk away but Sirius, despite being in incredible pain, tackled her to the ground. James arms went up in the air in a sign of victory. "Five galleons!" He quickly shook his head. "I should have bet more money." Lily and Remus nodded and laughed.

"What the hell do you think you doing?" Sam yelled.

"I'm preventing you from walking away! Every time we fight, you walk away whenever I speak!"

She leaned her head up and glared at him. "I only do that because you have nothing worthwhile to say!"

"Come on, head butt!" Remus muttered. James and Lily stifled their laughter.

"All I hear out of you is wah, wah, wah, and blah, blah, blah!" Sirius growled. Sam clenched her teeth before head butting him. Sirius rolled off of her and they held their heads and groaned.

"Victory is mine!" Remus cheered.

James and Lily laughed. "Oh look! Round two!" Lily said in an excited voice.

Sam got on top of Sirius and held him down. "You can be such an insufferable git! Why do I waste my time talking to you?"

"Because you want me!"

They rolled their eyes at his arrogance and Sam smacked the side of his head with her free hand. "I do NOT want you! I want Remus!" Sirius glowered at her. "You couldn't hold a candle to Remus! At least he has stamina! Especially around the full moon! He would be so aggressive! It was wonderful! I would have to beg him to stop so I could get some rest!"

Remus sheepishly grinned and blushed when James and Lily stared at him in surprise. "Way to go, Moony!" Lily muttered. James looked at her in surprise while Remus chuckled. "What?" She asked innocently.

James just smirked and shook his head. "Whatever Sam said to you today, I'm grateful for it."

"You begged me to stop!"

"Because I was bored to tears!"

"Ten galleons that he puts her over his shoulder and tries to prove he is better than me." Remus said.

"Don't forget to add that she will hit him in the groin again when she's over his shoulder while saying something along the lines of 'I can't believe you! Let me go! You better put me down!'" Lily added.

Sirius twisted his wrist out of her grasp and rolled over. "Oh please! You know you loved being with me!"

"As much as I love seeing my parents naked!"

They, including Sam, cringed at that thought. "That's disgusting!" James shuddered.

Sirius threw her over his shoulder and started to walk down the corridor. "I'm going to prove to you that I'm better than Moony! You will see I'm better!"

Remus smiled brightly. "Told you so!"

"I can't believe you! This is so pathetic! Let me go! You better put me down!" Sam yelled.

Lily batted her eyelashes at James and Remus. "Wait for the kick!" She said in a singsong voice.

They turned when they heard a loud groan of pain. They saw Sirius fall to his knees as Sam slammed down on the floor. Sirius had a protective hand around the middle of his pants and fell on top of her. Sam was rubbing her back and they simultaneously groaned in pain. "Well done, Lily!" James said.

She slightly bowed. "I try."

"As much fun as this is, I don't have any money left. Let's go back to the common room and let them at it." James said.

They walked down the hall and left Sam and Sirius to finish. "Ok, one last bet! They continue to wrestle; Sirius gets on top and…kisses her! After that, he says something stupid and the fight will continue into tomorrow." Lily said with glee.

"Don't forget that he will mostly grope her _while_ kissing her." Remus added. James glared at him but Remus just shrugged. "What? You know it's true!" James rolled his eyes and reluctantly nodded. "How much should we bet?"

"Five galleons?" James asked hopefully. They nodded. "By the way, we forgot to add that she will definitely kick him in the groin after he says something stupid." They nodded again.

"Wait! Shouldn't we stay? I mean, how will we know what happened if we leave?" Remus asked.

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes. "We're their best friends! They'll tell us everything! You know they will!"

Sam and Sirius were panting heavily. Her back was aching and his middle section was in agony. He glared at her before holding her down. "Just admit that you want me and I'll let you go." He panted.

"No, you won't, liar!" She grunted.

He laughed. "You know me too well, Sammy." She rolled her eyes and tried to get up but he pushed her back down. "We aren't done talking yet."

"You want me to kick your ass even more, Black?"

"Who's on top of whom at the moment, Potter?"

She smiled evilly and before he realized what happened, she was on top of him. "What do you have to say for yourself now, Black?"

Sirius grinned broadly. "I always did like you on top."

Sam sneered and rolled her eyes. "You're such a prat!" She made to roll off of him and he took the chance to get back on top. They wrestled for a few more minutes but in the end, he wound up on top again. He leaned in close and her eyes widened. "What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?"

He slightly smiled before kissing her. She fought against him for a moment before responding. She ran her fingers threw his hair as his hands roamed her body. His body leaned into her and she moaned in his mouth. He pulled back and smiled brightly. "I told you, you wanted me."

She glowered at him. She quickly kicked him in the groin again and he rolled off of her. She rolled away from him and caught her breath. "You're such an arrogant ponce!"

"You've got to stop kicking me in my…special area!" Sirius groaned. "There goes any chance to have children!"

She let out a small laugh. "Then I did the world a favor!"

He rolled his eyes and cautiously stood up. "You're completely hysterical! You're a real laugh riot!"

"I try!"

"Stop trying so damn hard!"

"What the bloody hell is your problem! You spied on me and invaded my privacy yet again! I'm the angry one!"

Sirius glared at her. "First, you say that I was just a rebound, then you keep kicking me in my family jewels and thirdly, you say I'm bad at sex! I have a right to be angry!"

"I said that I thought that you _might_ be a rebound! There's a difference! You deserved to be kicked in the family jewels because you kept senselessly attacking me! And I only said you were bad at sex to make you angry and to get back at you for insinuating that I'll sleep with just about anyone!"

He stepped closer to her and she took a step back. He rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to tackle you again!" He stood right in front of her and then pulled her to him. He pushed her against the wall and inwardly smiled when she kissed him back. His hands greedily roamed her body as she pulled him closer to her. They pulled apart and were breathing heavily. "You want me so bad."

Sam groaned and kneed him in his privates. He fell to his knees in front of her and groaned. "Stay away from me, Black! If you don't, you'll be sorry!" She left him leaning against the wall groaning in pain.

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Sam and Sirius were glaring at each other during breakfast the next day. James, Lily, and Remus shared a smile. "How many times did he kiss you?" Lily asked as if she was doing some sort of check list.

Sam gave her a look and grunted. "Twice."

"Did you grope my sister?" James asked in an accusing tone.

Sirius smiled brightly at Sam. "Yes, I did! Twice!"

"How many times did you kick him in the…privates after we left?" Remus asked with a smile.

Sam practically glowed when she answered. Sirius scowled at the memory. "I got him two more times."

"Brilliant!" Lily exclaimed. Sam and Sirius gave her a weird look. "Five galleons all around!" James and Remus laughed.

They looked at them in surprise. "You made a bet about our fight?" They yelled. They glared at each other. "Don't say what I say!" They sneered. "I'll say whatever I want!"

"And the fight continues! Damn, we're good!" James said laughing.

"I can't believe you lot made a bet about our fight." Sirius said with a smile. "I've got to say that I'm really impressed."

"It wasn't just one! We made a couple and won every time! You two are so predictable at times! Just shag and get it over with!" Lily said while rolling her eyes. She noticed that they were staring at her in amusement. "What?" She asked innocently.

Sam smirked. "My advice really must have helped you a lot!"

She blushed when they laughed. "Shove off, Potter!"

They got up and started walking to class. Sam rolled her eyes when Sirius poked her in the side. "What is your problem now?"

He laughed. "Stop being so bitter!"

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

Sirius smirked. "She's just upset that she practically admitted to still wanting me."

"I did not!"

"You kissed me back!"

"So, what does that prove!"

"Come off it, Sam! You want me and you're just sad because I don't want you!"

Lily, James, and Remus rolled their eyes. Sirius was so full of it sometimes it even amazed them. "You don't want me?" She asked incredulously.

"That's right!"

"Prove it!"

"How!"

Sam ripped open her shirt and their eyes went wide. "I'm blind! I'm blind!" James groaned while putting a hand over his eyes.

She smiled as Sirius gazed dreamily at her exposed top half. "Now, tell me that you don't still want me!"

All Sirius could do was stutter. "What the bloody hell is the hold up!" They turned and saw Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black glaring at them.

Lucius' mouth opened in shock as he greedily stared at Sam. "What the bloody hell are you gaping at, Malfoy!" James growled.

Sam smirked at Sirius' dumbfounded face and closed her shirt. "I think I just proved my point."

"When did you get that?" Lily asked.

"Get what?" Sam asked.

She rolled her eyes. "When did you get that belly piercing?"

Sirius shook himself out of his daze and started walking with them. "How the hell did you notice that when she just exposed herself in front of us, my git of a cousin, and Malfoy?"

Lily laughed. "Unlike you, I wasn't busy drooling over her bra!"

Sam laughed as James continued to glare at Lucius. "I did it a week after my break up with the witless wonder over there! I found a charm to lessen the pain and just did it."

They heard James yell a hex and heard a thud. Lucius was down on the ground turning blue and appeared to be tied up with invisible rope. Narcissa leaned over him and gasped. "That will teach you to stare at my sister, Malfoy!"

They laughed and walked away. "James, that was brilliant!" Sam exclaimed.

He glared at her. "Did you have to expose yourself like that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I had a point to prove! Plus, I had on a bra! No one saw anything important!"

"You just like to show your chest off to anyone!" Sirius said.

Sam stopped and glared at him. "What are you implying, Black?"

"Ten galleons says she punches him after he answers." Lily whispered to Remus and James. They nodded.

"I'm just saying that you will use any excuse to show anyone your body!"

"Excuse me?"

"What! It's the truth!"

"I hate you!" She yelled before punching him in the eye. He fell to the floor and groaned as she walked away.

"She's really got to stop hitting me!" He grunted.

"Stop saying something stupid and she will stop hitting you…so much." Remus said while helping him up.

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Sirius stood by the doors to the Great Hall. There was a piece of mistletoe hanging and he thought it was the perfect plan to get Sam to talk to him. She had ignored him all day except when he poked her in between classes and she punched him again. He honestly couldn't understand what her problem was. They used to fight like this all the time but she would have usually started talking to him by now. He saw her coming closer to the door with her friends and he smiled evilly when she stopped short right outside the door. "Are you scared to walk through the door, Sammy?"

Sam glared at him. "What are you up to?"

He smiled as if he had a halo over his head but she still saw his horns peeking through. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I'm just standing here waiting for you, dear friend." Her eyes narrowed into thin slits. "You are acting very paranoid, Sammy."

"Step away from the door and then I'll come in." Sirius had a giddy smile on his face as he took a giant step back. She eyed him cautiously before slowly walking through the door. Once she was under the mistletoe, he grabbed her and pulled her close to him. She pushed him away. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "It's a tradition, Sam."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not a tradition to arrange the kiss."

"It doesn't matter how it happens just as long as there is a kiss."

She smiled. "You want a kiss?" He smiled brightly and nodded. "A kiss is what you'll get." She barely kissed his cheek and he pouted. She saw Sarah stomping her way to them and Sam's smile grew. "Oh Sirius, I think you're in trouble."

"What do you mean?" He followed her gaze and inwardly groaned. "Just what I need!" He muttered. Sam walked away and sat down with their friends just as Sarah reached him. He put on a fake smile. "Hey there, Sarah!" They began to argue.

Sam smiled brightly as she heard them fight. She ate happily and noticed James staring at her closely. "What are you looking at?"

James watched her continuing to eat and slightly smiled. "I'm glad to see that you are eating still." She smiled. "Have you been taking your potions and clearing your mind at night?"

She rolled her eyes. "Have you stopped being a git?" He gave her a look and she sighed. "Yes, I have, I promise." She nodded towards her friends. "They watch me do it. They want to make sure that I continue to take care of myself."

"That's good." James said with a sigh of relief.

She leaned her head on his shoulder for a minute while smiling at him. "Thanks for the concern but I'm doing much better, Jimmybean. I learned my lesson and I'm not going to make the same mistake again."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her to him. "I just want to make sure that my Sammabelle is ok." She blushed and laughed. "I'm entitled to worry about you, you know? That comes with the job of being an older brother."

Sam giggled and hugged him. "I know and I appreciate that. You are the only older brother I've got and I think I can freely admit that I got the best one of all." He blushed.

They went back to eating and talking with their friends but quickly stopped when they heard Sirius's voice. "What the hell is your problem? We're just friends!"

"Do you want to be with her? Do you actually love _her_?" Sarah grumbled.

Sirius groaned. Of course he wanted her and loved her but he wasn't read to admit it. "No, I don't! I'm with you, aren't I?" She pouted and nodded. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Sarah, stop acting this way! I-I like you, not Sam. What happened between us is over and it didn't mean anything! How many times do I have to tell you that!" Sirius noticed his friends staring at him in utter disappointment and the hurt look in Sam's eyes broke his heart. "Oh shit." He muttered. He really didn't want her to hear that part.

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Oh Sirius, I'm sorry! I love you too!"

Sirius walked over to his friends and cautiously sat down next to Sam. She refused to acknowledge his presence. He sighed just before beginning to eat. Sam finished and stood up. "I have to go to the library to finish up some work. I'll see you lot later." They nodded and Sirius followed her. He stopped her by the door and she looked at him with no emotion. "What do you want, Black? You're not going to try to kiss me again, are you?"

"I'm sorry you had to hear that. I just had to shut Sarah up." She looked at him with a bored expression on her face and merely shrugged. Sirius groaned. "Why do you have to be like that? I'm trying to apologize!"

She tried to walk away but he stopped her. "What do you want? You apologized and that's fine. I know that our relationship meant nothing to you and I've accepted it! Just let me go!"

"I can't do that! You're angry and we have to resolve this!" He looked up at the mistletoe and slightly smiled at her. "You can't leave until you kiss someone…me, for instance."

He leaned in but she pushed him away. "I don't have to kiss you if I don't want to!" Severus pushed his way past Sirius and she stopped him. She kissed Severus in front of everyone. The room went silent as Sirius scowled. "I kissed someone, are you happy now?" Sirius shook his head in disbelief and she smiled at Severus. "Severus, would you like to go to the library with me?"

Severus smirked at Sirius. "Yes, I would."

They walked out, holding hands. Sirius felt the room staring at him and heard rapid whispering. He growled before following them. He caught up to them on the landing. "Did you think that was funny, Potter!"

Sam turned around and smiled. "Yes, I did."

"Are you bitter because she chose to kiss me in front of everyone instead of you, Black?" Severus smirked.

Sirius pulled out his want and pointed it at Severus. Sam stood in front of him. "What are you going to do, Sirius? Are you going to hex us both?"

"Get out of the way, Sam!" Sirius grunted.

"I will not! Leave us alone!" They walked away but Sirius ran after them and grabbed her arm. "What are you doing! Let me go!"

Sirius got in her face. "Why should I! I thought you liked guys grabbing at you!"

Sam sneered. "What the hell are you implying?"

He shrugged. "I think you know! How many guys have you slept with since you've been back!"

Sam's eyes slightly watered and he immediately regretted saying that. "Why do you care! I was just a toy to you!"

"I was a rebound to you!"

"No, you weren't!"

"We have to talk, Sam!"

She groaned before turning to Severus, who seemed to be enjoying the show. "Severus, I'll meet you in the library. I have to talk to this moron." He nodded and kissed her. Sam slightly laughed but glared when she turned back to Sirius. "What?"

"How could you let him kiss you? Are you that pathetic that you let anyone touch you!"

She slapped him. "Stop implying that I'm a whore! I'm not a whore!"

Sirius stopped her from leaving. "Was I just a rebound?"

"No, you weren't! I love…_loved_ you with my whole heart! If you were a rebound like Chris and Michael then I wouldn't have been with you! I wouldn't have…" She looked away and blushed.

He sighed. "Then why did you say it?"

She shrugged. "I wanted to make sense out of what happened between us. I wished it was a rebound so it would be easier to let go but I couldn't!"

Sirius hugged her. "It hurt when I heard you say that. I don't want to be some guy that was just some rebound to you."

"You're not. You mean…meant so much to me." He kissed her but she pulled away. Sam walked away from and leaned against one of the pillars. "It hurts to hear what you think about me."

He stood next to her and sighed. "You're not a whore, Sammy. I said that because I was angry."

Sam looked at him with pathetic eyes. "I've only slept with you and Remus because I was in love with the two of you. I only will be with someone I love. Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand that. I just get so jealous at the thought of you with someone else."

"Why? You're with Sarah, and you didn't love me. There's no reason for you to be jealous."

Sirius kissed her and was glad when she kissed him back. "I may be with Sarah but I've only ever lo-" He was cut off by her kissing his neck. He pulled her closer and hungrily kissed her. He untucked her blouse from skirt and unbuttoned her top buttons. She loosened his tie and opened the top buttons to his shirt and held him tightly. "I want to be with you again, Sam." He grunted in her ear as she went back to kissing his neck.

"I knew you still wanted me." She laughed.

He smiled. "I do. I can't help it. No one makes me feel the way you do." He nibbled on her ear and she shivered. "Be with me again, Sam."

"I want to be with you but we can't."

"Why not?"

"You're with Sarah. All this kissing that we've done has to stop. It's not fair to any of us, including Sarah. You love each other and I can't keep getting in the way of that."

Sirius massaged her back and pressed into her. She bit her lip but quickly stopped when he sucked on her bottom lip. "We can just pretend. My room is free."

She ran her fingers through his long hair and looked into his eyes. "I promised to meet Severus. I can't just ditch him like that."

"Yes, you can." She gave him a look. "If you didn't have to meet him, would you come with me to my room?"

"Yes, I would even though I know I shouldn't." He smiled. "Kiss me again before I have to go."

"Whatever you want, Sammy." He leaned in and kissed her again.

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* * *

Sam walked into the library with her hair disheveled, her shirt wrinkled, and a blush on her face. Severus stared at her in amusement as she sat down. "What happened to you?" He asked.

Sam awkwardly smiled at him. "Sirius and I got into a fight…again. We tend to attack each other when that happens."

He laughed which surprised the hell out of her. "I can see that." She blushed. "Did you hurt him?"

She shrugged. "I did…in a way. Did I miss anything?"

Severus looked across the room and she followed his gaze. Lucius was staring at her while Narcissa talked his ear off. Sam sneered at him. "You missed Lucius asking me if I've ever seen your purple bra." She laughed. "I think purple is his new favorite color."

She groaned. "I really wish he never saw that! I've caught him leering at me all day!"

He laughed and poked in her the side. "That will teach you to open your shirt in the middle of the hall."

Sam blushed. "I had a point to prove and I did!"

He blushed when she gave him a brief hug. "From what I heard from Malfoy, you proved your point very well."

She cringed. "Don't remind me! He better stop staring at like that or James will hex him again." They saw James glaring at Lucius. "I'd pay to see that."

Sirius walked in and smiled at Sam. She blushed when he winked at her. He sat down next to James and Lily. They saw his disheveled appearance and laughed. "I see your fight with Sam went well." Lily said.

He lightly laughed. "It did, indeed. If she didn't promise to meet with Snivellus, we would not be in the library right now."

James groaned. "Padfoot, that's my sister you are talking about."

"I know, Prongs." He said while rolling his eyes. "Your sister just so happens to be the same girl I love. Get over it already!"

"As much as I love the two of you fighting, get back with her soon if you can! I can't stand her hanging all over Snivellus like that. And if Malfoy keeps looking at her like that, I'll hex him so damn bad! Plus, I can't stand Sarah at all!" James grumbled.

Sirius smiled as Lily sighed. "I'm working on it, Prongs. Believe me, I'm working on it!"

"So, are you going to the ball this year?" Sam asked.

Severus shrugged. "I am being forced to attend. Are you going with anyone?"

She smiled. "Yes, I am. Remus asked me." He nodded. "I'll save you a dance or two if you like?"

He looked at her closely and slightly smiled. "You can if you want."

"I think I will." Lucius left and gave her one more creepy look. She cringed once again. "I'm glad he's gone now."

Severus lightly laughed. "He has become quite obsessed with you since this morning. I don't think it helped much when I told him the colors that I've seen you in."

Her eyes widened and she let out a loud gasp. "You didn't!" He sheepishly nodded. "Why would you do that?"

He sighed. "He wouldn't stop questioning me. He knew something happened between us. So, I told him about the black one, the…hot pink one, and the blue one." She blushed. "I am sorry. You only have to worry if he starts to wear anything hot pink. That color really excited him."

She laughed and poked him in the side. "You're such a prat! You're luck that I don't hex you!" He laughed in response.

"What are they talking about that is so damn funny!" Sirius sneered.

Lily rolled her eyes. "They are just friends! Why does it bother you so much?"

He gave her a look. "He's the enemy! Plus, she should be with me right now, not him!"

"Well, it's your fault that she isn't." James said. "If you weren't such an ass, she would be with you."

Before Sirius could reply, Sarah came in and sat down next to him. "Hey Sirius! I missed you!"

The three of them inwardly groaned at the sight of her and rolled their eyes. "You just saw him." Lily muttered.

Sarah glared at her. "I can miss him I want to! What's your problem?"

"I think it has something to do with your incredibly whiny voice." James said.

Sirius laughed and Sarah narrowed her eyes. "Good one Prongs! Sarah, don't look at me like that. He was only joking." She started to babble in his ear but he was distracted when Sam walked by. She smiled and winked at him. He sighed happily. He didn't understand it but Sam had this way about her. The mere sight of her made him feel elated. "That's great, Sarah. I've got to go. I'll see you lot later!"

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Sam walked out of the library and sighed. She didn't understand it but Sirius had this way about him. The mere sight of him made her feel elated. The thought of the even that happened earlier that night brought a smile to her face. She wanted to go with him so badly but knew it wasn't right. She really hated Sarah. If it wasn't for her, they would be in his room right now. "Hello Potter."

She stopped and turned around. She sneered and groaned. Lucius Malfoy was smiling, if you could call it that, at her and was staring at her in a way that made her skin crawl. "What do you want, Malfoy?"

He stepped closer to her. "That was quite the display you put on this morning." She rolled her eyes. "You could have just told me that you wanted me. You didn't have to make such a grand gesture like that."

Sam slapped his hand away when he went to touch her. "You disgust me. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole someone else was holding."

Lucius let out a creepy laugh. "You shouldn't deny your feelings for me anymore. It's obvious you've been suppressing your feelings for me."

"The only feeling I have for you is revulsion! Leave me alone!"

He forcefully grabbed at her but she pushed him away. "You don't want me to leave you alone. We could find a spare room and-"

She slapped him. "Don't you dare finish that sentence! I don't want you! I want you to disappear! Stop staring at me like I'm a piece of meat!"

Lucius leaned in to kiss her but she, once again, pushed him away. "What's your problem? I can make you forget about those mudblood loving freaks you waste your time with. You should realize that I'm better than Severus. Come with me and forget."

Sam smiled shyly. "What about Narcissa?"

He started to play with her hair. "She doesn't have to know." He leaned in again. "I could teach you things and show you things that you've never experienced before."

He was an inch away from her when she punched him and kicked him in the groin. He fell to the floor and groaned. "I don't want to learn anything from the likes of you! You are a disgusting toerag!"

"Sam, are you ok?"

She looked over and saw Sirius with his wand out. "I'm fine, Sirius. I just had to let Malfoy know what I really think of him."

Sirius quickly walked over to her and hugged her. "It's always nice to see you hitting someone else." She laughed and they started walking away. "Nice work by the way."

"I try."

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* * *

Sam was leaning against the wall while she was talking to Michael. He had just broken up with Krista. She smiled at him. "I'm sorry about you and Krista." He shrugged. "Are you two still going to the ball together?"

Michael sighed and nodded. "We planned on going while we were together. There's no reason to take someone else. The Ball's tonight and there's no one else to ask." She nodded. "Do you have a date?"

She nodded and smiled. "I'm going with Remus." He made a face and she laughed. "I'll save you a dance if you like?"

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "How about you save me two…three dances?"

"Whatever you want, Michael."

Michael tickled her and picked her up and spun her around. "Whatever I want?"

Sam laughed and rested her forehead on his. "Oh, I love you, Michael!"

He stopped and stared at her. "You love me?" She smiled brightly and nodded. "I love you too, Sammy."

She blushed. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life. You're such a good friend to me."

Michael's face fell slightly before he smiled. "You're a good friend to me too."

She touched his cheek. "Are you ok? You look a little sad."

He shook his head. "I'm not sad. I'm with you right now. That always makes me happy." She bit her lip and blushed. He leaned in and her eyes widened. "Do I make you happy, Sam?"

Sam nodded quickly. "Of course you do." He was an inch away from her. "Michael, what are you doing?"

"I've been in love with Sam since I met her!"

Michael's head snapped back. He looked around and saw Sirius with James and the others. They looked like they were fighting. "Did you hear that?" Sam asked.

He shook his head. "I didn't hear a thing."

She sighed. "I guess I'm hearing things."

Michael took her by the hand and led her away before she could see Sirius. "Let's take a walk." He wrapped his arm around her and smiled when she put her arm around his waist. He stopped and looked at her before leaning in again.

"Michael, what are you going?"

"That's what I'd like to know." They separated and saw the group staring at them.

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The boys were walking down the hall and saw Sam talking with Michael. They saw him whisper something in her ear and she laughed and hugged him. Remus rolled his eyes while Sirius scowled. His blood boiled as he watched them talk and hug again. "I hope she doesn't start going out with him again." Chris groaned.

Sirius felt a new found respect for Chris at that moment. "I thought you two were best mates."

Chris sighed. "We were. We were as close as you and James are."

"What happened?" James asked.

He shrugged. "It all went downhill when we started dating your sister. He became really possessive of her. He would try to exclude me from hanging out with her and it got annoying so I started to make fun of him. He knew that Sam and I were only going out to get over Hannah and Remus but it still bothered him."

"That's stupid." Remus said.

"Don't I know it. I mean, I know he's been in love with her since his second year but that's no reason for him to act the way he did. Yes, Sam and I kissed once or twice…three times actually but we just did that to see what it was like. We have always been close since that day we got on the Quidditch team together. There's never been any…romantic feelings between us."

Frank smiled. He saw the relieved look on Sirius' face. "Well, it looks like Black is happy about hearing that."

Sirius smirked. "That was very funny, Longbottom. Yes, I am happy about hearing that. It means that I have one less person to deal with to get Sam back."

"You want her back?" Kevin asked.

"Yes, I do. Why?"

Kevin slightly shrugged. "I just think it's very convenient that you only want her back when someone else shows an interest in her."

"Excuse me?"

Frank groaned. "Come on, Sirius! You've got to admit that when you had her you treated her like crap. When she slept with Lupin and was sent away for her heart condition that was when you realized you wanted her. It seems to me that you only want her so that no one else can have her."

James and Remus stood between Sirius and the others so a fight wouldn't break out. Sirius was beyond upset. "Where the hells is this coming from!" Sirius grunted.

Frank glared at him. "You lot aren't the only ones that care about her, you know? She has been friends with us for a long time. She's the reason why we didn't smash your face in when we found out about you cheating on her. We really wanted to but Sam asked us not to. She didn't want you hurt and she didn't want James to find out that his best friend could careless about his sister."

"I've been in love with Sam since I met her!" They were shocked by this. Sirius was even surprised by this confession. "I made a mistake, ok? You lot didn't help things by always telling me that she had me whipped. Maybe if you would have shut up once in a while, we would still be together!"

They stared at him in disbelief. "Please, don't tell us that one of the reasons that you broke up with her was because we said that." Kevin muttered.

Sirius looked away from him. "I didn't say that."

James glared at him. "You didn't have to! They said the same thing to me about Lily but you didn't see me break up with her!"

"That's got to be the stupidest thing that I've ever heard!" Chris said while shaking his head.

"Padfoot, what the hell is wrong with you?" Remus asked in disgust.

Sirius glared at Sam and Michael. He kept touching her hair. "What do you want me to say? I was a prat! I fully admit to that! It was all too much, ok? We were fine before everyone knew about us! Then everywhere I went, people told me she had me whipped! People said it wasn't going to last and she deserved someone better! People who weren't even friends with her said that I would just hurt her! Sarah was constantly following me around and I gave in! If I could go back and change it, I would!" They shook their heads in response.

They continued walking down the hall and Chris' eyes narrowed when he saw Michael leaning into Sam. "Michael, what are you doing?" She asked.

"That's what I'd like to know." They separated and saw the group staring at them. Chris sneered at him. "How pathetic are you, mate?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Chris, leave him alone! We were just talking!"

Chris glared at him for a moment before smiling at Sam. "I'm just looking out for you, Sammy. You don't need a ponce like that hanging all over you."

Michael sneered. He pulled Sam closer to him and smirked at them. "What's it to you, Anderson? Are you jealous that she would rather be with me than you?"

Chris got in his face as Sam was trying to break free of Michael's hold. "She will never want you!"

Sam got in between them. "Would you two stop acting like such prats! You two were best mates!"

"We were obviously not good enough friends before!" Michael said.

"That's obviously true with the way you acted!" Chris grunted.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

They started to pull Sam between them by her arms. "You acted like a git when we went out with her! You were too damn possessive! She only used you as a rebound but you were too thick to realize it!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed Sam by the waist and got her away from them. She smiled at him in gratitude as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed her cheek while glaring at Michael. "You two were rebounds. Stop treating her like she's your property!"

Michael and Chris rolled their eyes at him. "That's rich coming from you!" They said in unison. They glared at each other.

Sirius smirked. "You just don't know how to treat a woman as special as Sam." He pulled her closer to him and kissed her neck slowly as he glared at the boys. She blushed and looked down at the ground. "She needs to be respected and treated like a queen."

They rolled their eyes. "Sirius, stop laying it on so damn thick! We're choking over!" James grumbled.

"What the hell is going on with you lot?" Sam asked.

Chris turned to Michael. "Just because you've been in love with her since you're second year doesn't give you the right to act like a git!"

Sam's and Michael's eyes widened. "I told you that in confidence!" Michael said through gritted teeth.

Sam felt Sirius' arms tighten around her. "Chris, you've got to be mistaken! He only had a crush on me last year. Michael isn't in love with me. He's over his crush. Isn't that right, Michael?"

Michael blushed and looked away from her. "Sammy…" He trailed off. He was so embarrassed. This wasn't the way that he wanted her to find out.

Chris looked at Sam. She looked surprised as hell. "Did you also know that the only reason he started talking to you when you were a bitch, I'm sorry but you were one, was because Lupin and Black asked him to keep an eye on you?"

She stared at Michael. "Is that true? You only wanted to spend time with me because they asked you to?"

Michael looked like he was in pain. "They did ask me to keep an eye on you but I was worried about you too. I only told them certain things. I didn't tell them everything you told me."

Sam's face fell. The boys shifted uncomfortably. "I trusted you, Michael. You were my friend."

"Sammy, I'm still your friend. We were just worried about you."

"Sirius, what the hell are you doing with her like that?"

They groaned when they heard Sarah's voice. Sam stared at Michael like she never saw him before in her life. Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing anything, Sarah! We are just hanging out!"

"Get away from him, Potter!"

Sam tore her eyes away from Michael. She couldn't believe that he only hung around with her because Remus and Sirius asked him to. Sam glared at Sarah. She picked a wrong time to mess with Sam. "I won't get away from him."

Sarah's eyes narrowed. Sam pushed Sirius against the wall and kissed him deeply. Sirius' eyes widened and it took him barely a second to respond. The boys stared in shock while Sarah was fuming. Sam untucked his shirt and unbuttoned a part of his shirt and loosened his tie. Her hands went under his shirt and she smiled as he gasped when she ran her nails down his chest. She bit his lower lip and began to suck on it. He was greedily grabbing at her. Sirius slightly jumped when she grabbed his bum. He slid his hand under her shirt and rubbed her back in an excited manner. He was unaware of the people around him at that moment. She started nibbling his ear and he had a dreamy expression on his face. The boys laughed at this. Sam pressed her body into his and he heard her lightly laugh in his mouth when she felt his reaction to what was happening between them. Sirius ran his hands down her body and rested his hands on her bum and started to rub it. James groaned as he took off his glasses and handed them to Remus. Remus looked at him oddly. "Why are you giving me these?"

James nodded towards Sirius and Sam. "I'd rather be blind than have to see my best mate grope my sister…again."

Remus laughed and rolled his eyes. "Take your glasses back. I think Sam is almost done annoying Sarah."

Sirius had his hand tangled in her hair while the other continued to rub her bum. He moved his hand from her bum and tried to sneak it up her skirt. "Whoa! I don't think so!" James grunted.

Sam pulled away and smiled when Sirius protested. "Hey! We're not finished!" He groaned.

Sam lightly touched his face and smiled brightly. "Did you enjoy that, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded quickly and stared at her like he couldn't get enough of the sight of her. "That was…wow!"

Sam smirked as she traced her fingers along his mouth and laughed when he affectionately bit them. "Do you still want me or do you want to be with Sarah?"

Sirius gave her a perplexed look. "Sarah who?"

The boys laughed as Sarah's face fell. Sam's smile widened at that. "Do you still want me, Sirius?"

He nodded eagerly. "That was…wow!"

"It most certainly was." She turned to Sarah. "Now, what were you saying?"

Sarah took a step closer but Sam stood her ground. She wasn't afraid of her. "You little slut! You stay away from my boyfriend!"

She rolled her eyes. "That obviously didn't work the last time you said that." She smiled when Sirius nibbled her ear. "Sirius, do you want me to stay away from you?" He shook his head and tried to kiss her neck but she moved away slightly. She lightly laughed when he whimpered. She looked back at Sarah. "Would you like me to kiss him again?"

"You can kiss me again!" Sirius exclaimed. The boys stifled their laughter.

"You're pathetic, Potter! You're just jealous he's with me! If you and your little friends knew how to satisfy their men, then they wouldn't have come to me!" Sarah yelled.

Sam's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? You were only with Sirius."

Sarah smirked. "Ask them! They know what I'm talking about, whore!"

Sam turned to look at the boys. "What is she talking about?" The boys didn't look at her and she just shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe this. James? Remus? Did you sleep with her?"

They shook their heads. "She came on to me while we were going out but I swear I turned her down!" Remus said.

"Same goes for me. She offered herself to me last year but I said no!" James said.

She nodded and stared at the others. They wouldn't look at her. "Tell me who has slept with her besides Sirius!"

Sirius stared between his friends and Sarah. He just shook his head in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me!" He muttered.

"Sammy, it was before Alice and I started going out!" Frank sighed.

Kevin nodded. "Patty and I started going out a month after it happened."

Sam gave them a disgusted look before turning to look at Chris and Michael. "Well?"

Chris looked away from her. "It was just after Hannah and I broke up. It was before we went out. It was a horrible mistake!"

Michael was glaring at the ground. Sam was looking at him with such hurt in her eyes that it made him feel sick. "I slept with her too."

Sam's lips pursed together. "When did you sleep with her?"

"Why are you getting so upset that he slept with her?" James asked.

"I just want to know when."

Michael sighed. "The night we broke up."

"Before or after?" She grunted.

"Of course it was after! I would have never slept with her while we were together! You have to believe me, Sammy!"

Sam looked away from him. "Why should I?"

Sarah smirked. "Are you upset, whore? Your ex-boyfriends and your friends slept with me because you and your little friends couldn't hack it!"

Sam was fuming. She punched Sarah right in the face and Sarah fell to the ground. "How am I the whore? You slept with more than twice the amount of people I have! At least they aren't ashamed that they were with me! Did you see the disgust and guilt on their faces when they admitted to sleeping with you?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "This isn't about them! This is about the fact that Sirius cheated on you with me. He couldn't stand you and wanted a real woman!"

Sirius winced when Sam jumped on top of Sarah and punched her. They began to wrestle on the ground. "I've always wanted two girls to fight over me!" Sirius said. The boys watched them closely and laughed.

"I wish two girls would fight over me." James muttered.

"It really is a beautiful thing." Remus said with a bright smile. The boys laughed at him.

"What's going on here?" The boys looked up and saw the girls running over to them.

James smiled at Lily. "Sarah called Sam a whore and Sarah confessed to sleeping with these guys and she also said that Sam wasn't woman enough to hold onto Sirius. So, Sam punched her."

Lily's eyes widened. "You slept with her!"

James shook his head. "No way! Remus and I were the only ones with enough sense not to sleep with the likes of her!"

Alice, Patty, and Monica glared at Frank, Kevin, and Chris. Lilac and Mary were too busy watching the fight. They knew for a fact that Sarah was going to pay for saying that to Sam. "When did you sleep with her!" The girls yelled.

The boys quickly explained but it didn't seem to matter. They were already in the doghouse before they even opened their mouths. Lily tried to break up the fight but soon joined in when Sarah spoke. "Shove off, Evans! Sooner or later James will stop wasting his time with you and come look for me!"

"You little bitch!" Lily yelled. "Move over, Sam! She's mine!"

Sirius smirked at James. "It looks like you got your wish, Prongs!" James laughed.

"Alice, it was before we started going out! It didn't mean anything!"

Alice's eyes were filled with tears. "You said that I was your first."

Frank looked like he was in pain. "I-I know. I'm sorry. I was just embarrassed that my first time was with her." He went to hug her but she slapped him and pushed him away. "Alice, I'm sorry."

Kevin yelped in pain. Patty was slapping him with such force. "You lying son of a bitch! You said you never understood why Sirius was with a slut like her! You said that you would never touch the likes of her!"

He tried to block her hands but it was useless. "Patty, it was a mistake! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to lie!"

"Yes, you did! You're a disgusting lying jerk!"

Chris stared at Monica. "How mad are you?"

Monica glared at him. "I'm very upset that you actually lowered yourself enough to sleep with her. She is nothing but a piece of trash! Look at what she did to Sirius and Sam! She isn't worth a damn thing!"

"I know that! I was just depressed about Hannah and me breaking up!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, another winner you wasted your time with!" Chris threw up his hands in frustration.

"It's not my fault that your friends couldn't keep their men satisfied!" Sarah yelled.

The girls' heads snapped up and glared at Sarah. They dropped their bags and went to help out Lily and Sam. The boys' eyes widened. "Oh shit! She's in for it now!" Sirius said. The boys nodded. "I warned Sarah to _never_ piss off Lily and Sam. Now, she has to deal with them all! By the time this is over, I'll need a new date for the ball." He looked at Remus. "Do you mind if I share Sam with you?"

Remus smiled. "You're asking first this time?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Even if you still go with Sarah, I have a feeling that I'll be sharing Sam with you anyway." Sirius nodded slowly. "We should be used to sharing her by now."

"Shouldn't we try and stop them? Before Sarah gets really hurt?" Michael said making no attempt to move.

The boys shook their heads. "How many times in your life are you going to see something like this?" Kevin muttered while watching the girls in a trance like state.

Sarah screamed as Alice pulled her hair. "You little slut! You don't ever go near Frank again!"

"Get her, Alice!" Frank cheered.

"Shut up, Frank!" Alice grunted.

The boys sighed when Sarah screamed again. They reluctantly pulled the girls off of Sarah. Alice and Patty pulled away from Kevin and Frank. Monica let Chris hug her. "Don't you dare touch me!" Alice yelled at Frank. "I trusted you!" Frank ran after Alice. "Get away from me, you creep!" Alice yelled when Frank tried to stop her from walking away.

Patty started smacking Kevin again. "I can't believe you!"

Kevin walked down the hall with her and winced every time she hit him. "It was a mistake, Patty!"

Lily hugged James. "I'm glad that you had enough sense to say no to her."

James kissed her and smiled. "So am I."

Remus picked up Sam and hugged her tightly. Sam wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his. He kissed her. "Are you ok?" He asked with a smile.

Sam nodded. "I'm fine. Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"For kissing Sirius like that and for fighting Sarah."

"I'm not mad." He smiled and kissed her again. "It was entertaining."

She hugged him and laughed. They started walking down the hall when Michael stopped her. "Sam, can we talk?"

Sam glared at him while leaning into Remus. "What's there to talk about? Someone I thought was my friend lied to me about wanting to spend time with me. This so-called friend also slept with the same piece of trash that stole my boyfriend. What are you going to say to make that ok?"

Remus sighed. He may not have liked Michael but he felt bad for him at that moment. "Sam, he made a mistake. Sirius and I were worried and asked him to look out for you because you wouldn't let us. Michael was worried about you too. As for sleeping with Sarah, which I will never understand, he knows it was a mistake. He obviously feels bad about it. You should talk to him."

Michael was surprised by Remus defending him. "Thank you, Remus." Remus nodded. "Sam, can we talk?"

Sam reluctantly nodded and walked over to the corner with Michael. Remus watched them closely. "What do you want to say?" Sam asked.

Michael sighed. "I'm sorry, Sam. I should have told you about talking with Sirius and Remus. We were worried about you and I thought if I said anything you would stop talking to me." She nodded slowly. "I shouldn't have slept with Sarah. It was a moment of weakness that I will always regret. I was upset because we broke up and I thought that if I distracted myself with her then it would be ok."

Sam stared at him closely. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I just thought you of all people had better sense than to sleep with her." He looked away from her. "Michael, you really are my friend, aren't you?"

He nodded eagerly. "Of course I am. Sammy, you are one of my best friends! I hate the thought that you're mad at me."

Sam hugged him. He held her as tight as possible. "I'm not mad at you, Michael. I was just really surprised by what I heard." She smiled at him. "You're one of my best friends and…I love you. I don't want you to think I hate you."

"I don't anymore. I don't want to lose you, Sammy. I don't want to lose our friendship."

She smiled. "We'll always be friends." He smiled. She sighed. "Michael, is what Chris said true? Have you been in love with me since your second year?"

Michael looked away from her but she made him look at her. "I've…had feelings for you, that's true. You don't have to worry though. I am…over you. I don't want things to be awkward between us because of this."

Sam hugged him and smiled. "If you're over me then there's no reason for things to be awkward. I just want us to be okay." He smiled. "I promise to save you those three dances."

He laughed. "Thank you. That would really make my night."

They walked over to Remus and he smiled at them. Sam gave him a kiss while Michael's face fell. He loved her but he knew that she would never feel the same way. He was just some friend to her and that's all he'd ever be. "Is everything ok between you two?" Remus asked.

Sam smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "We're fine. We're still friends."

Remus gave Michael a sad look. Michael shrugged in response. "I'm sorry." Remus mouthed to him. Michael weakly smiled and nodded.

Sirius sighed as he held Sarah. She was crying into his chest. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't want you to find out this way."

He awkwardly rubbed her back. "I told you not to egg them on like that. You're lucky that they didn't do anything worse."

"I-I know. You were right. I promise I won't do that again. Please, don't leave me."

He inwardly groaned. "I'm right here, Sarah."

Sirius watched Sam hugging Remus while they talked with Michael. He was surprised that he actually felt bad for Michael. He loved Sam almost as long as Sirius had and they both lost their chances with her in some way. Sam looked at him with a guilty expression on her face. "I'm sorry." She mouthed to him. Sirius sadly smiled and winked at her. The three of them walked away while he stayed with Sarah.


	39. Chapter 38: Bragging Rights

Author's Note: Ok, this chapter is eh. I really hate the last part of the chapter but what are you going to do? I don't hate it hate it but I'm not the biggest supporter of it. Anyway, Angellove is in a very bad mood! I have a wicked cold, I got into a fight with the boyfriend, fight with the best friend, and I was called into work because someone called in sick and I was the only moron that answered the phone…I have to get caller id. I'm not really a people person…it's just a fact! (lol, to anyone that reads Oh No They Didn't! they will understand that!) So, back to my point, customers come into the store where I work and they make me realize even more how much I detest most people. They make me realize that most people need to be smacked upside their heads. Someone came into the store and the writing on their shirt fit my mood perfectly and I just had to laugh. "Ban Country Music! Inbreeding Is Wrong!" Sorry, I just needed to get that out. I swear, I'm not always a bitch…just 99.99999 of the time. I'm also getting kinda sick of this story…I won't stop writing because I want this story to have an ending and I already have it all planned out with some new plot twist that even surprised me when I was just thinking about the story and the ideas came out of left field. I want you to know that I do love Remus and Sam together. I really do. After Sam's first breakdown, on the astronomy tower with Remus, I was like "Why did I make this out to be a Sirius story? Why didn't I choose Remus?" I don't know…but I really do love them together, couple or not. Sirius and Sam can get draining sometimes because there is just so much pain between them. Of course there is a lot of pain between Remus and Sam as well. I honestly swear I have a point somewhere. Oh yeah! The point! As much as I love Remus and Sam together…Remus will act like a complete jerk. I'm just warning you. Hate me all you want but I needed it to happen for the story's sake. Well, yeah, Sirius is always an ass but he gets a little assier (lol I like making up words). I also have been thinking about making a soundtrack to this story, because I am a loser like that! I have all these songs in my head that I want to put into the story but obviously can't. Some of the songs are so fitting while others make a weird kind of sense. I don't know. I also have this idea for a new story. A Ginny and Sirius story. Don't look at me like that! It came to me after reading two of the sweetest stories on in the fan fiction section, obviously. Anyway, let me know what you think…if anyone ever reads these author's note I write… Lol, try and enjoy the chapter. Please, read and review. Show some love! By the way, the lyrics Sam sings to Remus and Sirius is from a kickass song. "I Melt With You." By Modern English. I just love 80s music!

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Chapter 38: Bragging Rights.

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The boys waited for the girls in the common room. Frank sighed. "How long does it take to get ready?"

Kevin rolled his eyes. "If I were you, I wouldn't complain. We're lucky that they're still talking to us let alone going to the ball with us."

Frank nodded. "I know you are right. I've never seen Alice so mad before."

Kevin rubbed his arm. "I never knew Patty could hit so damn hard! I think Sam taught her how to punch." He looked at Sirius. "Mate, I'm really sorry for calling you a wuss. Those girls can really hit!"

Sirius laughed and nodded. "Yes, they can. My bruises are finally starting to heal."

"How'd you two gits get them to forgive you?" James asked.

Frank groaned. "A very long talk. She said if I lied to her again, she would hex off a certain part of my anatomy that I happen to be very fond of."

Kevin nodded. "I was threatened with the same thing. Except Patty kept hitting me while she threatened me."

"I didn't say that I wasn't hit!" Frank exclaimed.

Remus laughed. "What about Monica?"

Chris shrugged. "She said that it happened last year so I should be free of Sarah's germs by now." The boys laughed. "Monica's still annoyed but we're ok. Luckily, I'm bruise and hex free." He looked at Remus. "How are Michael and Sam?"

Remus shrugged. "They are fine. I convinced her to talk to him and they made up."

Sirius saw the smirk on his face and sighed. "What's with the smile?"

His smile grew when he saw the look on Sirius' face. "I was just thinking about what happened after the fight."

"What happened?" Chris asked.

"Sam and I went up to my room and we talked. She was happy that James and I had enough sense not to sleep with Sarah too. Sorry, mate." He said while looking at Sirius. Sirius shrugged in response. "We started joking around and then we had some sex."

Their heads snapped up. "What!" They exclaimed.

Remus lightly laughed. "What? Ok, we didn't have some sex." They nodded. "We had a lot of sex."

James glared at him. "You had sex with her this afternoon?" Remus nodded. "I was asleep in our room after the fight! You two had sex while I was there again!"

The boys laughed while Remus shrugged. "Yes, we did, I guess. We didn't know that you were there or we would have gone somewhere else." James' eyes narrowed. "What's the problem? You know that we've been sleeping together!"

"It still doesn't make it right." James grumbled.

Sirius sneered. "Why would you do that? You know that I'm trying to get her back!"

Remus sighed. "Yes, I know you are but you're still with Sarah. Once you break up with her and get Sam back, I won't sleep with her again."

Chris shook his head in amazement. "I hope I have a break up as well as yours is with Sam one day." The boys laughed while James and Sirius scowled.

The girls walked down and the boys gaped at them. Alice walked over to Frank and reluctantly kissed his cheek. He stared at her in amazement. She looked gorgeous in her turquoise dress robes. "Alice, you look beautiful!" She nodded curtly and hid her smile.

Kevin smiled brightly. Patty and Lilac walked over to him. They were wearing blue and gold dress robes. The blue made Patty's eyes sparkle. "Patty, you're amazing!" He glanced at Lilac. "You look good too, Lilac." Lilac rolled her eyes.

Mary was in deep red robes, Sam was in bright purple dress robes, and Lily was in emerald green. Remus, Sirius, and James stared opened mouthed at them. Sirius watched sadly as Sam hugged Remus. "You look beautiful, Baby." She blushed. "Isn't this the same color you wore when we went to the ball together for the first time?"

Sam's blush grew. "I can't believe you remember that."

"I remember everything about our time together." Sam blushed again and kissed him.

James gulped loudly as Lily walked over to him. "Lily…you're…wow!" She smiled brightly and blushed. "I don't want to sound corny but you're an absolute vision of beauty!"

Lily kissed him. "Do you mean that, James?"

He nodded eagerly. "You're always beautiful but tonight…you're glowing." He kissed her and blushed.

Sirius tore his eyes away from Sam and smiled at Mary. He spun her around and laughed. "You look good enough to eat, Mary!"

Mary rolled her eyes and laughed. "Thank you, Sirius. Just save the charm for someone who will buy it." He winked and laughed.

Chris took Lilac's hand while Sirius took Mary's. They were going to escort them downstairs to meet their boyfriends. "Lilac, Adam won't know what to do with himself when he sees you." She smiled. "Mary, Jason will lose it when he sees you." She blushed. "I think it's time to go."

They walked down to the Great Hall and gasped. The entire room looked like an enchanted winter wonderland. "Wow! Dumbledore really out did himself this year." Kevin gasped. They nodded in agreement.

Adam and Jason made their way over to their girlfriends and were amazed by how they looked. Chris found Monica and gasped. She was in deep pink robes. "Monica, I've got to say that you're the most beautiful woman here tonight."

Monica blushed. "What about Sarah?" She asked with a sly smile.

He laughed. "Sarah who?"

"Good answer, Anderson."

Sarah slightly limped over to Sirius. The girls stifled their laughter. She had faint bruises on her face and her hair was obviously patchy from where Alice pulled some of it out. Sarah looked awkward in her pale yellow dress robes. Sirius forced a smile on his face. "Sarah…you look…nice."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Sirius. You look amazing." He shrugged.

Sam looked at Sarah and felt a little bad for her. All Sarah wanted was Sirius' approval but he refused to give it. She knew what that felt like. Sam soon got over her feelings when Sarah glared at her. Remus wrapped his arms around her from behind and lightly kissed her neck. She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "If you don't stop that, I'm going to have to drag you back to your room." She muttered.

Remus laughed. "So, why should I stop?"

She nudged him. "You're funny."

"You're beautiful." She turned around in his arms and kissed him deeply. He sighed happily. "I'm so glad you agreed to come with me."

"I'm glad you asked me."

They kissed again but were soon interrupted when Chris and Monica hid behind them. Remus gave them a weird look. "Can we help you with something?"

They smiled sheepishly at them. "Hannah is walking over here. She won't leave me alone. She has it in her head that we're meant to be together again. She's been bothering Monica to dump me so that I'll come back to her. We figured if we stay close to you and Sam, she won't come near us."

Monica nodded. "She's still afraid of Sam. Ever since you threatened to hex her, she's become very paranoid."

Sam smiled brightly while Remus laughed. "I'm glad she knew that I was serious."

Sirius walked over to them and smiled. "My ears are burning. Who was saying my name?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "We were talking about Hannah still being afraid of Sam threatening to hex her."

Sirius laughed and grabbed Sam's hand and pulled her away from Remus. He twirled her around and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He smirked when she laughed. "Everyone knows that it's very stupid to mess with _our_ Sammy." Sirius kissed her bare shoulder while glaring at Remus.

Remus' eyes narrowed slightly and smirked. "Sammy is very strong and fierce when she puts her mind to something. She reminded me of that this afternoon."

Sirius scowled while Chris stifled a laugh. Sam blushed while Monica looked confused. "What am I missing?" Monica whispered in Chris' ear.

Chris was slightly shaking with held in laughter. "I'll tell you later." She nodded.

Lily and James walked over to them and smiled. "I'm being forced to dance. I'm dragging you lot with us."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to him. He asked me to dance. Would you care to join us?"

They nodded and followed them to the dance floor. Sirius pulled Sam closer to him but she pulled away. He gave her a curious look. "Don't you want to dance, Sammy?"

Sam nodded. "Of course I do but the first slow dance is reserved for Remus. We can dance later." Remus smirked at a scowling Sirius. "Why don't you dance with Sarah?"

Sirius made a face and groaned. "Do I have to?"

Sam laughed as she hugged him. He held her tightly. "Yes, you do." She pulled away from him and slightly smiled. "She is your girlfriend and your date after all."

Sirius looked at Remus. "Do you mind if we switch dates for the entire evening?"

"Yes, I do mind."

She kissed Sirius' cheek. "Be nice, Sirius." He rolled his eyes. "Could you do me a favor?"

He looked at her in excitement. "Does it have anything to do with what happened in the hall this afternoon?"

Sam blushed and lightly laughed. "As much fun as that was, my favor has nothing to do with groping." He sighed. "Tell Sarah something nice about the way she looks."

"What?" Sirius looked at her in surprise. "I already did that."

She shook her head. "You barely did. Look, I know what it's like to be in Sarah's place. Trying so hard to get the approval of someone who refuses to give it."

"Sam, I'm-"

"Sirius, I wasn't trying to make you feel bad and I wasn't only talking about you. I just want you to realize that despite what you found out about her today, she is crazy about you. She just wants to hear you say something nice to her. If you do that, I'd…" She trailed off. She had no idea what to say.

Sirius perked up. "If I do this, you'd what?"

Sam laughed and shrugged. "I honestly don't know. Do you want my gratitude?"

"No, I don't." He laughed. "I want you."

"You want me to what?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. He laughed as he pulled her closer and was an inch away from her lips. "I want you…to give me a kiss."

She smirked when he leaned in. She put her hand over his mouth and laughed when he licked it. "That's disgusting!" She said as she wiped her hand on his sleeve. Sirius smiled and shrugged. "I promise to kiss you _after_ you dance with Sarah and say something very nice to her."

"I want a dance with you also. If I have to dance with her _and_ say something nice then I deserve two rewards."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Sirius, she is your girlfriend! I shouldn't have to bribe you with dances and kisses just so you will be nice to her."

He sighed. "She won't be that for much longer."

"What?"

Remus wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders and Sam couldn't hear Sirius' answer. "Are you ready to dance?"

Sam threw one last curious look at Sirius before turning to Remus and smiled brightly. "Let's go, Moony."

"Do you promise, Sam?" Sirius quickly asked as she walked away.

She looked back at him and smiled. "I promise."

Remus held her closely and smiled when she put her arms around his neck. "What did you promise to him?"

Sam slightly smiled. "I told him that if he said something nice to Sarah and danced with her, I would give him a kiss and a dance."

"Why would you promise that?"

"Sarah is crazy about him and just wants his approval. I may despise her but…I know what it's like to search for his approval and not get it. I thought it was a good idea. He said he would only do it if I promised a kiss and a dance."

He kissed her deeply. "That was very nice of you. I'm surprised that you would do that for her." They saw Chris and Monica dance right next to them and they rolled their eyes.

Sam shrugged. "I feel a little guilty about kicking her ass today. It must have been very humiliating for her to have that happen. Plus, most of the guys she slept with said that they just used her and regretted it. I doubt that made her feel good about herself."

"You're too nice to people who don't deserve it."

They held each other tightly and she blushed when he kissed her. Their kiss deepened but quickly stopped when someone bumped into them. They glared at James and Lily. "No shagging my sister on the dance floor, Moony." James said with a tight smile.

Remus laughed. "Then, I guess, we will just have to go up to our room."

James glared at him while the girls laughed. "Very nice, Moony!" Lily exclaimed.

"I'm very impressed." Sam added.

James rolled his eyes. "You're a laugh riot, Moony."

Remus smiled. "I try, Prongs. I try."

Sirius led Sarah on to the dance floor and he purposely stood near Remus and Sam. He saw Sam smiling at him and he winked. "Sarah, have I told you how lovely you look tonight?" He said in a loud voice.

Sam bit her lip to hold in her laughter and rolled her eyes. Sarah's eyes widened and she smiled. "N-No, you didn't. T-Thank you, Sirius."

He smiled at her. "You look beautiful tonight, Sarah. I'm honored to be your date." Sarah held onto him tightly and rested her head on his shoulder. He smirked at Sam. "Three more kisses." He mouthed to her. Sam winked and nodded in response.

Remus tightened his grip on her and lightly kissed her neck. She looked up at him and smiled before kissing him. She slightly jumped in his arms. "Are you ok?" He asked.

She gave him a curious look. "I feel my dress moving around on the back. Is there something on me?"

"I'll check." He looked down her back and saw that Sirius, who had his back turned to them, was trying to blindly grab her bum. Remus rolled his eyes and spun Sam around. "I didn't see anything." She shrugged before resting her head on his shoulder. Remus kissed the top of her head and sighed. His eyes grew wide when he felt something on his bum. He jumped when he felt a pinch. "What the hell was that, Padfoot?"

Sam looked at him with concern. "Baby, are you alright?"

Remus turned and glared at a shocked looking Sirius. James and Lily separated and stared at him. "Moony, what's going on?" James asked.

"Ask him!" He said pointing to Sirius. "Why exactly did you just pinch my bum!"

They struggled with their laughter while Sirius looked horrified. "I-I pinched _you_!" Remus nodded. "That's disgusting!" Remus nodded eagerly. "I-I thought you were Sam!"

Sam's mouth hung open. "You couldn't tell the difference between me and Moony's bum!" Sirius stuttered. "I'm completely offended!"

James held onto Lily as he laughed. "Y-You pinched Moony's bum!" Sirius looked down at the ground and grumbled. "Is there something that you need to tell us, Padfoot?"

"I always thought there was a chance that he fancied guys. You better watch out, Lily. He might start pinching James' bum next." Chris laughed.

Sirius glared at them. "Oh, shut up! I don't fancy Moony! I thought it was Sam!"

Sarah looked completely upset. "You thought it was Sam?"

His eyes widened. He forgot she was still there. "Sam, its not-"

Sarah slapped him. "My name is Sarah! I'm not Sam!"

"No, you're not." He muttered.

Sam gave him a look. "Sirius, tell her that it was just a misunderstanding!"

"She's right, Sarah. It's just a misunderstanding. I thought…it would be a funny and very disgusting prank on Moony." Sarah walked away from them. "This is just great!" He muttered. He looked at Sam. "I did what you asked. Will you still do what you promised?"

James' eyes widened. "What did you promise to do?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I promised him a dance, that's all." Sirius opened his mouth to argue but stopped when she slapped him upside the head. "I will keep my promise." He smiled and she smacked him in the same spot. "Sirius, she is upset! Go after her!"

"What will you give me if I do?" His eyes widened when she raised her hand. He realized that this was no time to joke. "I was only joking! Don't hit me again! I'll go after her!" He quickly left so he wouldn't be hit again.

Sam shook her head. "I can't believe I actually dated someone that stupid!"

Lily laughed. "Neither can I. I honestly don't understand why Sarah puts up with him sometimes. She knows he is in love with someone else-" Lily stopped and her eyes went wide. It wasn't her place to tell Sam that Sirius loved her.

"What did you say?" Sam asked.

James and Remus shifted uncomfortably. They weren't going to tell her either. It wasn't their place. "I didn't say anything." Lily muttered.

Sam opened her mouth to speak but Remus cut her off. "Sam, let's finish our dance." She nodded slowly as he pulled her closer. She wished that Lily finished her sentence. Sam really wanted to know who Sirius was really in love with.

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Sirius found Sarah in the hall outside of the Great Hall. She had her arms crossed over her chest and looked rather upset. He sighed. He wished that he stayed inside with Sam but he didn't want to be hit by her again. He walked over to her slowly and sighed again. "Sarah, why are you out here?"

Sarah looked at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"I'm always Sirius."

She rolled her eyes. "This is not the time for your corny jokes!" He nodded. She sighed. "Are you in love with her?"

He looked away from her. "Sam doesn't love me anymore. She wants to be with Moony."

"You didn't answer my question!"

Sirius groaned loudly. "Why should I! This is stupid! I'm with you, aren't I!"

"Yes, you are but for how long?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah glared at him. "How long will you stay with me before you crawl back to her!"

He sighed. "Look, I know that what happened in there upset you but don't let it ruin our night. Come back inside." He was afraid that if he didn't convince her to forgive him, Sam would back out on her promise.

"Sirius, do you want to be with me?"

"I'm already with you."

She sighed deeply. "Do you love her?"

Sirius looked away. He wasn't stupid enough to tell her the truth. "I'll always care about her. We've been friends since my first year. Our friendship is important to me."

Sarah nodded slowly. She sighed when he reluctantly hugged her. "I love you, Sirius."

He nodded. "I know you do. Now, let's go in and finish our dance."

She slightly smiled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. They walked into the Great Hall and walked over to his friends. Frank smirked when Sirius stood next to him. "Watch your hands, Black! Alice is the only one that I'll let pinch me."

Sirius groaned loudly as Sarah giggled. He smirked at her and pulled her closer. He started tickling her and laughed. "You think that's funny, do you?" She laughed loudly. "I'll teach you to laugh at me."

Sarah gasped for air as he tickled her. "Sirius stop! It was funny!"

Sam and Remus walked over to the group and smiled. Sam watched as Sirius tickled Sarah and lightly smiled. She was glad that he was being nice to her. Sirius hugged Sarah from behind and briefly kissed her neck while staring at Sam. She rolled her eyes when he winked at her. "Five kisses." He mouthed to her.

Remus held Sam tightly and she shivered when he kissed her neck. He smiled at her before kissing her lips. "He's really working hard tonight."

Sam laughed. "Remind me to never promise to give him rewards again." He laughed and nodded. Sam turned to Sirius and Sarah and smiled. "I'm glad to see you two made up." Sirius smirked at her. "You looked very nice tonight, Sarah. That's…uh…a really good color on you."

Sarah eyed her closely before nodding. "Thank you, Sam. You look nice too."

A fast song began to play and Sam smiled. "Who wants to dance?" She asked.

"I do." Sirius and Remus said in unison. They glared at each other.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Ok, let's go."

"Yes to who?" They asked.

She smiled. "To both of you. James, would you like to join us?"

James laughed. "Sure, as long as Sirius keeps his hands to himself! I'm just not that type of boy."

The others laughed while Sirius rolled his eyes. "That's hysterical, Prongs."

"Who else would like to join us?" Sam asked.

The group nodded and followed her to the dance floor. "Are you coming, Sarah?" Lily asked.

Sarah looked at her and shook her head. She didn't understand why Lily and Sam were being so nice to her. "I think I'll sit this one out."

They danced closely together as the song played on. Michael and Krista joined them. Sam stopped moving for a moment when she saw Michael. She was surprised by how handsome he looked. Michael was always handsome but tonight, it was even more obvious to her. He smiled at her and she lightly blushed. The way his golden hair fell in his eyes made her knees go slightly weak. Michael picked her up and spun around. She giggled as she held onto him. "You look beautiful, Sam." She blushed. "Is that the same color you wore to the ball in your third year?"

Sam's eyes widened in surprise. "Y-You remember what I wore three years ago?"

He blushed and nodded. "Of course I do. You looked beautiful that night." Her blushed grew deeper. "I mean, you're always beautiful but that night and tonight, you look too good for words."

He picked her up and spun her around again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. "You're always handsome but tonight…wow!"

Michael slowly smiled as he set her down. He caressed her cheek and his heart swelled when she blushed and looked at him shyly. "Any guy would look good when they have a beautiful woman with them."

She sighed. "Krista does look nice."

"Yes, she does." He winked at her before kissing her cheek. "But I was talking about you."

Sam bit her lip and smiled. She didn't know what was happening but she felt as if something just changed between them. She stared at him closely and blushed when he smiled. Remus and Sirius' eyes widened at this little scene. They looked at each other and silently agreed to get her away from Michael. Michael spun her around again and held her closely. They pulled her away from him and smiled when she looked at them curiously. "You promised to dance with us, Sammy." Sirius said while glaring at Michael. Michael rolled his eyes as he started to dance with Krista.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. Remus and Sirius took turns spinning her around. "Making love to you was never second best." She sang to them as she patted their cheeks. They laughed and rolled their eyes. Sam hugged them tightly and kissed their cheeks. "I'm so happy to be dancing with two of my favorite boys."

James switched Lily with Sam and Lily danced with Remus and Sirius. Sam smiled when James winked at her. "Is there something going on between you and Michael?" He asked.

She blushed. "No, there isn't. We are just friends."

He gave her a knowing look. "Are you sure? I thought you were about to fall to the ground when you saw him."

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "I was just surprised by how he looked." He smiled. "Oh shut up! We are just friends, that's all."

James nodded towards Remus and Sirius who were still sharing a dance with Lily. "They seemed to think something was going on. They did pull you away rather quickly."

"They always think something is going on when I talk to someone male. I'm used to it by now." He laughed. "I promise Michael and I are just friends."

"That's good to know." She smiled. "He isn't so bad, you know. It wouldn't be terrible if you did fancy him."

She smiled. "Are you actually giving me your blessing to date Michael if I decide to?"

He nodded. "I am. Just don't let me find out about what you two do when you shag."

Sam laughed as she hit his arm. "You're such a git!" James laughed. "I'm not shagging anyone."

He scowled. "That's not what I heard or saw."

"What do you mean by 'heard'?"

James groaned. "I don't want to talk about that."

They stopped dancing and she eyed him closely. "Tell me, James."

"Remus…let it _slip_ that you two shagged this afternoon after the fight. Did you know I was in the room when two did that?"

Her eyes widened. "You were?" He nodded. "That is so disturbing!" He nodded eagerly. "Why would he tell you about that? That doesn't seem like him."

"He mentioned it to us when we were waiting for you girls before the ball. I think he did it to make Sirius jealous."

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes. "Sirius gets jealous if Professor Slughorn says hello to me."

He laughed. "That is true."

She looked over at Remus and Sirius and sighed again. "I honestly don't understand them sometimes. It's not like Remus to brag about what we do together." James shrugged in response. "I don't know why Sirius always gets jealous."

"You honestly don't know why?" She shook her head. "How thick are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He just smiled. Sam rolled her eyes. "James, who is Sirius really in love with?"

"What?"

She sighed. "Lily mentioned earlier that Sirius was in love with someone. Who is it? Do I know her? Or him?"

James laughed loudly. "You don't know who _she_ is?" Sam shook her head. He rolled his eyes. "It's not my place to tell you. You will have to ask him if you want to know."

The song ended and he walked towards Lily. Sam stared at Sirius curiously. She walked over to Remus and Sirius. "Did you brag about what happened between us today?"

Remus' eyes widened while Sirius smirked. "N-Not really."

"Were you jealous when he told you?"

Sirius gulped. "I-I was…"

She rolled her eyes and walked away after muttering. "You two are such gits!"

"She took that well." Sirius muttered.

Remus nodded slowly as they watched her walk over to Michael. They glared when they saw them talk rather closely and shared a blush. Remus knew that she was pissed as hell by what he did. "That she did."

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James and Frank blushed deeply as Krista openly flirted with them. She was blatantly coming on to them and all they could do was blush. Lily glared at the sight. She stormed over just as Krista winked and lightly touched James' chest. "You're looking rather handsome tonight, James."

Lily was fuming as James smiled shyly. "Thank you, Krista. You look good too."

"Keep it in your pants, Michaels! He's with me!"

Krista smiled at Lily. "I was only being nice, Evans. There's no reason to get jealous!"

She walked away and James hugged Lily tightly. "I love it when you get all possessive." Lily smirked and blushed. "It's a real turn on."

"Get a room you two!" Frank laughed. He jumped when Alice yelled his name. He turned and paled when he saw her glaring at him. "What's the matter?"

"Why were you flirting with Krista Michaels?"

"I-I wasn't!"

Alice's eyes narrowed. "How would you like it if you saw me all over another guy?"

Frank lightly groaned. "Alice, I wasn't all over her! She was flirting with me! I didn't do anything!"

Sam, Michael, Remus, and Sirius walked over to them and smiled. Remus and Sirius tried not to hit Michael when he put his arm around Sam's shoulders. They sneered when she blushed. "What's going on?" Sam asked.

Frank walked over to Sam and sighed. "Can you please tell Alice that I wasn't all over Krista?"

Sam smiled at Alice. "Frank wasn't all over Krista." Frank rolled his eyes at her lack of conviction.

Alice glared at Frank before grabbing Remus and kissed him right on the lips. Their eyes widened in surprise. Frank glared at them and tried to kiss Sam when Alice pulled away from Remus. Sam smacked him upside his head and pushed his away. He rubbed his head. "What was that for!" Sam rolled her eyes in response. Frank scowled at Remus. "Why did you kiss her! Isn't it enough that you are already shagging Sam!" Sam smacked his head again.

Remus was still shocked by Alice kissing him. "Hey! She kissed me! I was just as surprised as you were!"

"Now you know how it feels, Frank!" Alice smirked at him. "Now you know how easy it would be for me to find someone else! You better remember that the next time you flirt with someone!" She smacked him on the back of his head.

Sam and Lily shared a look and sighed. "Alice, this isn't like you." Lily muttered.

"Sweetie, he apologized for lying about sleeping with Sarah. He knows that it was a terrible mistake." Sam added.

"How can you take his side over me! You completely melted down when Sirius slept with her!"

Sam sighed. Sirius squirmed. "That was different and you know it! Sirius slept with her while we were together! Frank slept with her before you two got together!"

Alice glared at them. "Lily, stop being such a prude and shag James already!"

James nodded. "She has a point you know." Lily smacked him upside his head.

Alice turned and scowled at Sam. "You should make a decision already! Who's it going to be, Sam? Pick already!" Sam's eyes widened in surprise. "Michael, Remus, or Sirius? We are all waiting for you to stop dancing around this and make a decision!"

"Alice, what's gotten into you?" Sam asked.

"Make a choice and maybe I will tell you!"

"Fine! I'll make a choice right now!" The boys looked at her eagerly. "_If_ I had to choose right now, I'd pick Michael!"

"What!" They exclaimed. Michael's eyes widened in surprise.

She glared at Remus and Sirius. They squirmed under her gaze. "With the way you two have been acting tonight, Michael is the best choice!" Michael's face fell.

Alice walked away. Sam, Lily, and a reluctant James followed her. They stopped her. "What the hell has gotten into you!" Lily demanded.

Alice sniffed. "It's just hard. He lied to me. He told me I was his first. I lost my virginity to someone who willingly slept with a piece of trash and then willingly lied to me about it." They sighed. James' eyes widened when she hugged him tightly and cried into his chest. He looked at the girls for some help but they just shrugged. He awkwardly patted her back reassuringly. "Frank said he loved me and that I was the only one he wanted to be with. If he lied to me about sleeping with that slut, how do I know that I can trust what he said?"

Lily and James looked at Sam. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked.

They rolled their eyes. "You have a little more experience in this situation than we do." Lily said.

Sam sighed. "Alice, I know it's hard but you have to forgive him. Frank really does love you. You know he does. Lying to you was wrong. He knows that. I know what you're going through to a certain degree. Sirius said I was the only one for him and that he loved me. He slept with Sarah and lied to me about it. The difference between us is that Frank really does love you and wants only you. He was understandably embarrassed that he slept with her. He probably didn't want you to think less of him for doing that. He loves only you, Alice. Don't throw that away because he made a mistake."

"How were you able to forgive Sirius and become friends with him after what he did to you?"

She slightly smiled and shrugged. "I had a lot of therapy." Lily and James smiled while Alice looked confused. "The truth is I had to make a choice. I had to decide if it was worth it to walk away from my friend of six years because he turned out to be a bad boyfriend of over two months. I decided that my long friendship with him was worth keeping over two months of misery. I realized that I love him and wanted him in my life still. He means a lot to me and I decided to get over my pain." Alice nodded slowly. "You have to weigh the good against the bad. Is this worth losing him? Are you going to let over a year of happiness end because of something stupid that happened before you two got together?"

"I have to think about this." Alice muttered. "James, can I speak to you in private?"

James nodded and they walked off together. "No kissing my boyfriend, Alice!" Lily called after them. Alice and James laughed. Lily smiled at Sam. "That was nice."

"What was?"

"What you said to Alice. Did you mean it?"

Sam smiled. "I did. I do still love Sirius and I did realize that I would miss him if he wasn't in my life."

They watched James and Alice talk. Lily rolled her eyes when Alice kissed his cheek. Sam laughed at Lily. Alice walked over to Frank and they walked into the hall to talk. James walked over to them and smiled. "What happened?" Lily asked.

James laughed. "She asked me if I thought if Frank really loved her. I told her every _good_ thing he said about her. She decided to give him another shot."

Lily kissed him. "You are the sweetest guy!" He blushed and Sam smiled. "James, we have to talk."

His eyes widened in fear. "I thought I did a good thing!"

She smiled softly. "You did. Sam, could you give us a moment?" Sam nodded and walked over to their friends. She blushed when she looked at James. He hugged her tightly and her blush grew when he kissed her. "Cuddlebum, I think it's time."

James blushed when she called him that. "Time for what, Lilykins?" She gave him a knowing look and his eyes widened in surprise. "Y-You mean it's time for _that_!" She blushed again and nodded. "A-Are you sure about this? I thought you wanted to wait until you were married?"

Lily smiled shyly. "I've never loved anyone until you came into my life. What you did for Alice and Frank…you are the sweetest and most caring man I know. I want my life to be with you, James. You are the only one I want to share my first time with. I want to be with you, James."

James was beside himself. His face was bright red. "I-I've always loved you, Lily. You've been the only person that I want to be with. When you decide the time is right, we'll be together."

"I meant right now."

He smiled widely. "Why are we wasting time talking! Let's go!" Lily laughed as James dragged her to his room.

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"Where are they going in such a hurry?" Sam asked as she saw James and Lily running out of the room, laughing.

Sirius shrugged. "Hopefully, James is about to get some."

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed as she hit his arm. "You're such a git!" He smiled and winked at her. "Hopefully, he is about to get some."

He smiled at her. "Would you like to-"

"Hey Sam!" Sirius glared at Michael. Sam smiled shyly. "Would you like to dance?"

"We were about to-"

Sam cut Sirius off. "I'd love to, Michael." Sirius looked surprised as hell as she nervously took his arm and they walked off together. They nervously held each other and smiled. "You look great tonight, Michael."

Michael smiled shyly. "Thank you, Sammy. You look great too." He kissed her cheek.

She bit her lip. "Thank you, Michael." She kissed his cheek. Michael's lips lingered an inch away from hers. Sam gulped. "Michael…?"

He leaned in but was soon interrupted by Remus. "Sam, do you want to dance?" She opened her mouth to refuse but he pulled her away and smiled. "That's great! We'll see you later, Michael."

Michael sighed and walked away. Sam rolled her eyes. "What was that?"

Remus smiled. "I just want to dance with my date."

"Remus, you are so annoying!" Sam laughed. Remus kissed her. She held him closely and deepened the kiss. "I love it when you kiss me."

He nibbled her ear. "I love kissing you." He kissed her again. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you, Remus." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I wanted to ask you if you want to get back-"

"Hey guys!" They looked up and saw Frank and Alice smiling brightly.

Sam was slightly annoyed by the interruption because she was going to ask Remus if he wanted to get back together with her but she was happy to see them smiling and hugging each other. "Are you two ok?" She asked.

Alice smiled. "We will be fine. I just have to get over my anger but you were right. I couldn't imagine my life without him."

Frank winked at Sam. "Whatever you three said to her, I thank you very much! We just wanted to let you know that we were ok. We are going to dance. We'll see you later." He looked at Remus. "Sorry about yelling at you."

Remus shrugged as he held Sam closer. "It's not a problem." They walked away. Remus kissed Sam. "It's good to see that they made up."

Sam nodded. "They are perfect together. He made a mistake and they shouldn't throw it all away because of that."

The song ended. They separated and smiled at each other. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you, Remus." They kissed. "I'm sorry but I promised Severus a dance. I should do that now before I forget."

"Do you have to?"

"I can't break a promise, Moony."

"You promised to be my date."

"I still am. It's just a dance."

He smiled at her. "You promised to love me forever."

She blushed and kissed him. "I have yet to break that promise." He blushed and let her go.

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Narcissa rolled her eyes when Sam walked over to them. Sam smiled at Severus but sneered when she noticed Lucius staring at her. "Would you like to dance now, Severus?"

Narcissa laughed. "Why would he want to dance with a piece of trash like you?"

Sam glared at her. "What's your problem, Black? Are you upset that your disgusting git of a boyfriend has been staring at my chest for the last hour?" Narcissa sneered. "Severus, would you like to dance?"

Severus slightly smiled. "Yes, I would." He escorted her to the dance floor and they ignored the glances people were giving them. "That was very amusing."

She laughed. "She was annoying me. Why is it her business if I want to dance with you?"

He rolled his eyes when he saw Remus and Sirius glaring at them. He pulled her closer and her eyes widened. He dipped her and leaned in close. "Don't be angry by this." He muttered.

Sam was surprised when he kissed her. Severus pulled away and she smiled. "What was that for?"

She followed his gaze and saw Remus and Sirius scowling. She laughed. "I thought that they would enjoy seeing that."

The song ended and she kissed his cheek. "Thank you for the dance, Severus. It was fun."

"Anytime, Samantha."

He walked away and she turned around when someone tapped her shoulder. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Hello Sammy."

Sam brightly smiled. "Andrew, what are you doing here?"

Andrew laughed when she hugged him. "I promised you that I would stop by. Would you like to have one of our two dances now?" She nodded. He smiled when she put her arms around his neck. He held her closely and they began to dance.


	40. Chapter 39: The Way

Author's Note: The song used is "The Way You Look Tonight." By Frank Sinatra. I need your opinion. The chapter after this one is the last chapter I've written. I'm currently working on the next next chapter but it might take a while. Now, do you loyal readers and reviewers want me to post the last written chapter now or wait until I have more chapters written? Just so you know, the next chapter ends with a cliffhanger. I'll do whatever. It's no skin off my nose. I just wanted to know what you would prefer. Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 39: The Way.

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Andrew snuck into the Great Hall and made his way over to Professor Dumbledore. He stuck out his hand and the older man shook it. "Hello sir." 

Dumbledore smiled brightly. "Andrew, what a lovely surprise!"

"Didn't Sam tell you I was coming?"

He nodded. "She did mention it to me. I am just surprised that you actually came."

Andrew shrugged slightly. "Sam wanted to say goodbye once more before I left for Egypt." He looked around and smiled brightly when he saw Sam. She was dancing with a group of people he assumed were her friends. Two boys took turns spinning her around until she stopped moving. Andrew saw her eyes go wide when she looked at a blonde haired boy. The boy picked her up and spun her around. They were blushing at each other. "Who's that boy?"

Dumbledore smiled. "That is Samantha's good friend, Michael Lewis." He saw how they were staring at each other and he lightly laughed. "Mr. Lewis has been in love with Samantha since they've met. It seems to me that she has finally truly noticed him tonight."

Andrew nodded. He saw the two boys she was dancing with originally glare at the pair while they danced. "Who are they, sir?"

He smiled. "Those are the great loves of Samantha's life, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black." Remus and Sirius pulled Sam away. His smile grew. "They are very _protective_ of her. They do not seem to like the attention that she gives to other boys."

Andrew laughed when Sam rolled her eyes at them. "So, that is Remus and Sirius?" Dumbledore nodded. "I've heard a lot about them." Andrew's eyes widened as he looked at Sirius. "Sir, did you notice that Sirius and I look very similar?"

"Yes, I did. I think that is why she grew such a fondness towards you. When she looks at you, she sees the goodness that Mr. Black has hidden within himself."

He nodded slowly. Sam started to dance with a black messy haired boy and he smiled. "Let me guess, that boy is her older brother and the red headed girl is Lily Evans."

"That is correct. Mr. Potter is very protective of her. All of Samantha's friends are. Ms. Evans and Samantha are very close. They have a very strong bond."

Andrew looked at Sam with concern. She stopped dancing with her brother as they started talking. James walked away from her and she had a brief chat with Sirius and Remus before walking over to Michael. The boys glared at the pair as they blushed. "Sam seems to have a lot of admirers."

Dumbledore lightly laughed. "Yes, she does. Samantha and Lily have captured the hearts of many boys in this school. Especially the hearts of the Marauders."

Sam, James, and Lily walked after a brunette girl who was crying. They talked for a bit before the brunette girl and Sam walked off. She briefly chatted with Sirius before dancing with Michael. Remus soon interrupted them and Andrew's eyes widened when they kissed. The song ended and she walked over to a greasy haired boy. She seemed annoyed at the people around him. They walked to the dance floor and ignored the stares people were giving them. "His name is Severus Snape." Dumbledore said before Andrew could speak. "They have become friends while he tutored her."

"Why are people staring at them like that?"

He smiled. "Severus is not the most…_popular_ person in school. I believe his friendship with Samantha has helped him become more open. He seems to trust her. He has acted more…I do hate to use this term but, human because of their friendship. She has helped him in their short time together. Samantha has a talent for seeing the good in people when they can not see it in themselves." His eyes twinkled when he looked at Andrew. "Samantha sees something in you."

"I don't know about that, sir. I'm just trying to help her."

"Help her how, Andrew?"

"What do you mean, sir?"

Dumbledore continued to smile. "Do you believe kissing her was the wisest choice?" Andrew's eyes widened. "Samantha did not tell me." Andrew sighed. "She has been through a lot in her _sixteen_ years. Please, try to remember that." He nodded. "Have a wonderful time tonight, Andrew." Dumbledore walked away. Andrew sighed as he made his way over to Sam.

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James closed the door behind them. Lily sat down on his bed and started to fidget with the covers. He sat down next to her and shyly smiled. He took her hands in his and softly kissed her. "I love you, Lily." 

Lily nervously smiled at him. Her face was bright red. "I love you too, James."

He brought her closer to him and kissed her deeply. He caressed her cheek and gently rubbed her back. He fumbled with her zipper and sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous."

She hid her smile. "It's okay, cuddlebum. I'm nervous too."

"Are you sure that you are ready? I don't mind waiting."

Lily eyed him closely. "D-Do you not want to…?"

His eyes widened. "O-Of course I do!" He blushed. "I-I've dreamt about this moment many times. There's no on else in the entire world that I would want my first time to be with than you."

She smiled shyly as she stood up. He watched her closely and his pulse raced as she stepped out of her dress. He gulped when she unbuttoned his shirt. James removed his shirt with shaky hands. They blushed when they stood in front of each other in their underwear. "I want to be with only you, James."

He smiled brightly as he guided her to his bed. He laid down next to her and kissed her. She gently pulled him to her and he laid on top of her. His hands slid down her body and she shivered. "Are you ok?" He whispered.

Lily smiled slightly. "I'm fine. Keep going." She wrapped her arms over her exposed body when he removed the rest of their clothing.

James blushed when he looked at her. "You shouldn't be embarrassed, Lilykins. You're so beautiful." He trailed kisses down her body and lightly traced her belly button with his tongue. She sighed in content at his touch. "I can't imagine my life without you in it." He whispered against her mouth.

Her blush grew. "You're the only one for me, James." Her head was swimming when he moved his hands up her thighs. She'd never been so close to someone in such a way before. He was the one for her and she knew that with all her heart. He positioned himself between her legs and a twinge of panic rushed through her. They were about to begin when she stopped him. "James wait!"

He looked at her with concern. "What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No, you didn't do anything wrong." She sighed. "I-I just don't think I can do this. I've always imagined my first time would be with my husband. As much as I'm ready to…make love to you, I don't think I can do it tonight." He rolled off her and roughly rubbed his face as he groaned. She bit her lip. "A-Are you angry with me?"

James looked at her closely and smiled. "I'm not mad at you, Lily. I meant it when I said that I would wait for as long as you needed to. If we have to wait until our wedding night then we will." She looked unsure. He smiled softly. "I've waited this long to be with you. I know I can wait until our wedding night."

Lily shyly smiled before kissing him. He pulled her close and deepened their kiss. She lightly moaned when he began to kiss her neck. "W-We could do other things."

He slightly smiled. "I don't want to pressure you. We don't have to do anything that you aren't ready for."

She caressed his cheek and smiled. "We might not be having…sex tonight but I do think it's time that we do _other_ things. We've been together for close to six months and I think we are ready for this."

James slowly nodded. "Are you completely sure about this?"

"Yes, I am."

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Sam watched as Severus walked away. She turned when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Hello Sammy." 

Sam smiled brightly. "Andrew, what are you doing here?"

Andrew laughed when she hugged him. "I promised you that I would stop by. Would you like to have one of our two dances now?" She nodded. He smiled when she put her arms around his neck. He held her closely and they began to dance. "You look beautiful tonight, Sam."

She blushed. "Thank you, Andrew. You look very handsome." He blushed. "I'm glad you came tonight."

He smiled. "So am I." She rested her head on his shoulder. Andrew leaned his head against hers and sighed. He saw Remus and Sirius scowling at them and he just had to laugh at the sight of them. She looked at him curiously. "Remus and Sirius seem to have a problem with our dancing together."

Sam lightly laughed when she looked at them and rolled her eyes. "They always have a problem when I'm around someone male that isn't them or my brother." He laughed. "They probably are even more annoyed because of the kiss you gave me."

"How do they know about that?"

She sighed. "James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus listened to our last session. They were peeking through the door and saw it."

He nodded slowly. "They didn't take it well, I suppose."

"Not really. Sirius and I fought about it…and other things for two days."

"Sam, we have to talk about what I did."

"Yes, we do."

Andrew sighed. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that."

Sam looked down at the ground and sighed once more. "Those kisses really confused me. I still can't believe you did it."

"I'm sorry I confused you. It's just that you were so upset after our session and for some reason, I thought it would bring you comfort."

"You pity kissed me?"

"Yes, I did."

Her mouth hung open. "That's horrible! That's worse than you actually meaning them."

"I know. I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I'm not. I enjoyed them but I'm glad that you don't have feelings for me, Andrew."

He slightly smiled. "I do care about you, Sammy."

"I know you do. It's just that I'm slightly confused enough already."

"What do you mean?"

Sam looked at him closely. "Do you mind if we have a small session right now."

"I don't mind."

She told him about everything that happened since the last time they talked. "So, Remus…I guess…bragged about what we did together after the fight. Sirius is in love with some mystery person." Andrew hid his smile. He knew for a fact, from what she told him, that the person Sirius loved was her. "He has been acting weird too. I had to bribe him with a dance and a kiss just so he would be nice to Sarah. Sirius keeps saying nice things to her just so he can get more kisses."

"I think that's funny."

She rolled her eyes. "I just want to know who he loves and to know what he's playing at."

Andrew smirked. "You never know, Sammy. He could be trying to get you back."

She rolled her eyes again before sighing. "And Michael…"

"What about Michael?"

She shrugged. "I was beyond upset when he told me about what happened between him and Sarah and I don't know why." He smiled knowingly. "When I saw him tonight…I almost fell to the floor. He's always been handsome, you would have to be blind to miss it, but when I saw him, it was like I truly saw him for the first time."

"Do you think you are starting to have feelings for him?"

"No, of course not! He is one of my closest friends! Plus, I already have enough confusing feelings for two of the biggest gits I know!"

He let out a loud laugh. "Sammy, it's ok to have feelings for someone who isn't Remus or Sirius. It might be good for you."

"I don't fancy Michael. I think I am just lusting after him."

"That may be true."

The song ended and they separated. Sam smiled brightly. "Before we have our second dance, I want you to meet my friends."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "Did you tell them about your counseling sessions?" She shook her head. "How are you going to explain me to them?"

"I'll just tell them that you are one of the healers that helped me while I was at St. Mungo's. It's the truth! It's just not the whole truth." Sam linked her arm with his and they walked over to her friends.

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James and Lily were blushing deeply when they walked back into the Great Hall. James' collar was undone and he had a lazy smile on his face. Lily's dress was slightly off center and she couldn't stop grinning. Sirius and Remus stifled their laughter when they saw them. "Did you two have fun tonight?" Sirius asked with a sly smile. 

Their blush grew. "The ball isn't over yet, Padfoot." James mumbled.

"The ball is always fun, Sirius." Lily said.

He gave them a knowing look. "Did you two…?" He whispered in James' ear.

James' smile grew. "No, we didn't."

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm smiling for the other stuff we did."

Sirius patted him proudly on the back while Remus winked. "Well done, Prongs." Remus said.

Sam and Andrew walked over to them and her eyes' widened when she saw James and Lily. She straightened Lily's dress for her. "You are going to tell me everything later." She whispered in her ear. Lily blushed and nodded. "I want you all to meet Andrew…I mean, Dr. Roberts."

The group eyed his closely. Andrew smiled. "Hello everyone." Sam introduced them to him. "Nice to meet you all."

Sirius rolled his eyes. Andrew smirked. "So, you're _the_ Dr. Roberts?"

"Yes, I am. You're _the_ Sirius Black. Sammy has told me a lot about you." Sam's eyes widened while Sirius smiled brightly.

"Did she?" Sirius asked smugly while looking closely at a blushing Sam.

Andrew rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't be too flattered if I were you. It wasn't all good."

Sirius scowled at him while the others laughed. "How do you know Sammy?" Michael asked.

"I was one of the healers that treated her at St. Mungo's. I came here to see how she was doing." Michael nodded slowly. "You must be Michael." He looked at Andrew in surprise. "Sam talked about you a lot while she was at St. Mungo's. She had an awful lot of good things to say about you."

Michael's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Andrew smiled lightly. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that Michael loved Sam and hearing that she said a lot of good things about him to a total stranger meant a lot to him. Sirius and Remus pouted. Michael smiled shyly and blushed when he saw Sam smiling and blushing at him. "You really did that?" Michael asked in a shy voice.

Sam's blush grew as she stared at him. Andrew looked between them and almost laughed. He had a feeling that Michael was more than just a lust object for Sam. He had a feeling that she would soon start to have deeper feelings for him. "Of course I did, Michael. I told him about all of my friends." Michael sighed. "It's just that, besides James and Lily, you were the first person I mentioned."

Everyone stared between them in surprise. The way they were looking at each other was something very new. They, minus Sirius and Remus, smiled at them. Andrew looked at James and stuck out his hand. James cautiously accepted it. "It's very nice to meet you, James…and Lily." James nodded while Lily blushed. James pulled her closer to him. "I never knew that a sister could love her brother so much until I met Sammy." James slightly smiled. "She thinks the world of you." He blushed and awkwardly nodded. "Sam really looks up to you. She told me that you were her hero."

James' eyes widened in a pleasant surprise. He looked at his little sister and smiled. "You really said that?"

Sam sheepishly smiled. "I did, Jimmybean." She looked at Andrew. "I wish you didn't tell him that. He won't let me forget it when we have a fight."

James and Andrew laughed. "She's right about that, Dr. Roberts."

"Besides coming to check up on Sam, why are you here, _Andrew_?" Remus asked coolly.

Sam rolled her eyes. Andrew eyed him closely. "Well, _Remus_, Sam asked me to stop by and promised me a dance. She wanted to say goodbye in person before I go on a short trip to Egypt."

Michael smiled. "You're going to Egypt?" Andrew nodded. "I was there over the summer for an internship with Gringotts."

"I know. Sam told me. She also said that you convinced her to apply for one as well."

He looked at her. "I finally convinced you?"

She nodded. "Yes, you did. I wanted to tell you during one of our three dances that I've already applied. I should hear from them soon."

Michael picked her up and hugged her tightly. "This is wonderful! If you are accepted, we can spend the whole summer together."

Sam touched his cheek and lightly smiled. "I know. That was the added bonus to applying." They blushed. The others, minus Remus and Sirius, stared at them in amusement. "I-I mean that if I do get accepted, it will be nice to have someone I know there with me to show me the ropes."

Michael smiled knowingly. She bit her lip. He honestly couldn't believe how she was acting around him tonight. He felt like his chance with her would be coming soon. "I-I know what you meant, Sammy."

Andrew lightly laughed and the girls swooned. "Sam, are you ready for our dance before I have to go?"

Sam quickly nodded. The way Michael was looking at her made her blush all over. "I thought she promised you only one dance?" Remus asked.

"Actually, she promised me two."

James smiled. He liked this Andrew person. He was making Sirius and Remus very angry. He made them realize that Sam had other options than being with them. James loved them like brothers but he was still slightly angry at them for hurting her like they did. He was happy to realize that they knew they had to work hard for her attention to be on them tonight. James was also surprised by how his sister was acting around Michael. He knew that they had always been close and that Michael always had feelings for her but to see first hand how she was blushing from a single look from him was very amusing. He had a feeling that Michael would soon come to mean a lot more to her. "It was nice to meet you, Andrew." James said as he shook the older man's hand. He leaned in and whispered. "Try not to kiss her again though."

Andrew lightly laughed and nodded. He escorted Sam back to the dance floor and held her closely. She looked over his shoulder at Michael and blushed when he winked and smiled at her. She shyly waved at him. "Sammy's got a crush…Sammy's got a crush…" Andrew sang in her ear.

She giggled. "I have no idea what you are talking about." She stared at her friends and laughed. The boys, minus Sirius and Remus, were wiggling their eyebrows at her. The girls were winking. "He's hot!" Lily mouthed to her. Sam bit her lip to hold in her laughter. James looked at Lily in surprise and they began to jokingly fight. Sirius and Remus were splitting their time by glaring at Michael and looking at her with hurt in their eyes. She sighed.

"What's the matter?"

"Sirius and Remus look upset. I think it hurt their feelings when you were praising everyone else but them."

He shrugged. "They were acting like prats." She nodded and laughed. "I also think that the way you were acting with Michael hurt them."

"What do you mean?"

Andrew gave her a knowing look. "Sam, I think you know what I mean." She shrugged awkwardly. "You were blushing every time he spoke or looked at you. It's ok if you start to have feelings for him. It would be good for you to start a fresh relationship with someone new."

"He's over me, Andrew. Plus, whatever it is that is making me act this way probably isn't real." He sighed. "I was going to ask Remus to get back together with me tonight."

"Why?"

"I still love him. I still feel butterflies in my stomach whenever we are together. I thought it was a good idea."

"What about Sirius?"

She sighed. "I feel the same way about him too. I don't think that I have anymore room in my head or heart for someone else right now." She smiled and winked at Remus. He looked a little relieved when she did that. She saw Michael talking with Krista and felt a weird tightness in her chest when they laughed and hugged. "I'm not sure about anything anymore, Andrew. I just know for a fact that I want to love and be loved in return."

Andrew smiled at her. "You have a lot of people that love you, Sammy. You have a lot of admirers." She blushed and shrugged. "You don't have to know what to do right now. Take some time to figure out what you want. You don't have to decide right now. If you want to get back together with Remus, that's fine. Please, just take some time to think about it before you ask him. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

Sam slightly smiled and nodded. "You're right. I have some time to decide. It just feels like everything is jumping out at me at once."

He kissed her cheek. "You're going to be fine, Sam. You're a lot stronger than you think." She smiled shyly. "Remember, you can always write to me if you need to talk. I will be back soon enough." The song ended and they separated. "I have to go. I should say goodbye to Dumbledore again."

She hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you, Andrew. Take care of yourself and come back soon."

He smiled. "I promise I will. Goodbye, Sam. Have a great holiday."

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They watched Sam and Andrew walk to the dance floor and they laughed. "I've got to say that I liked him." Kevin said. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He seemed like a prat to me."

Lilac rolled her eyes. "You're only saying that because he put you in your place."

Remus scowled. "I agree with Sirius. Did you see how he was all over her?"

Frank laughed. "No, I didn't. I did see Michael and Sam blushing like a couple of school girls at each other."

Michael blushed. "I don't know what you are talking about."

James laughed. "Come off it, Michael! It's obvious that you still want to be with her."

Krista smiled at Michael. "It looks like she wants you too." Michael laughed. "Michael, this may be your shot!"

Michael winked and smiled when he saw Sam look at him. She shyly waved at him. "It's crazy! It's hard to believe that after all these years she might want to give it a real shot." Krista hugged him. "Do you think she might like me?"

Chris hid his smile. They may not be friends but he still wanted him to be happy. "She might. Just try not to act like a prat this time."

James looked at Lily in surprise. "Did you just tell my sister that her healer was hot?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did. He is pretty cute."

Sirius smirked. "You do realize that he sort of looks like me, don't you?" She blushed. "I think I might still have a shot with Sam after all." He muttered.

They watched Andrew walk away from her and go over to Dumbledore. They groaned when Severus started dancing with her. "I honestly don't understand why she is friends with him." James groaned. The boys shook their heads and glared at the pair.

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Sam smiled brightly when Severus walked over to her. "Would you care to dance?" He asked with smile. 

"Yes, I would."

Severus held her and they began to dance. "Who was that man you were dancing with?"

She smiled again. "That was Andrew. He was one of the healers at St. Mungo's. He came by to check up on me before he went on a short trip to Egypt."

He nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling just fine. There's no need to worry."

"Who said I was worried?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I know you are worried." He slightly smiled. "I'm fine, Severus."

"I know."

Sam hugged him tightly. "I'm very lucky to have a friend like you."

He blushed. "I'm glad we are friends too."

"Wow! I never thought I'd her you say that."

Severus shrugged. "You said you would know if I lied to you. I'm just being honest." He groaned when he saw her friends glaring at them. "Don't your friends have anything better to do with their time?"

She followed his gaze and rolled her eyes. "Apparently, they don't." He leaned in. "Are you trying to kiss me again to make them angry?"

"Yes, I am. Does that bother you?" She shrugged and shook her head. He leaned in and kissed her. His eyes widened when she held him closer. "What was that?"

She winked at him. "I wanted to annoy them too. Sirius and Remus have been acting very annoying tonight and they could use a reality check."

He laughed. "I could kiss you again. That would really annoy them."

She laughed. "If you must." He kissed her again. "That was fun. Maybe we could dance again later."

Severus briefly kissed her and smirked when he saw her friends glaring at them. "That would be nice."

Sam hugged him once more and laughed as she walked away. She went over to the refreshments and bumped into someone. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going." She looked up and smiled brightly.

_Someday  
When I'm awfully low  
When the world is cold  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight_

Michael laughed. "This seems all too familiar." She blushed. "Would you like a drink?" She nodded. The way she was looking at him made him nervous. His hands were shaking as he handed her a cup of pumpkin juice. He thrust the glass at her and it spilled down the front of her dress. She gasped and his eyes widened. He grabbed some napkins off the table and started to pat her dress. "I'm sorry, Sam. It was accident!" He continued to pat her dress. "I'm such a git!" He groaned.

"Smooth move, Michael!" Frank yelled. The others laughed loudly.

He looked pathetic as he blushed. Sam smiled softly and held his drenched hand that was patting her dress. She took a napkin off the table and wiped his hand. "It's ok, Michael. It's just a dress. They can be cleaned. It doesn't matter."

"You aren't mad that I ruined your dress?"

Her smile grew. "I'm not mad. I know you didn't mean to do it."

He sighed in relief. "I am sorry, Sam." She shrugged and lightly laughed. His blush grew deeper. "Would you care to dance?"

_Yes, you're lovely  
With your smile so warm  
And your cheek so soft  
There is nothing for me but to love you  
And the way you look tonight_

Sam winked at him. "As long as you promise not to throw anymore drinks on me." He groaned. "I'd love to dance with you." Michael took her hand in his and their fingers entwined. They stood in front of each other and nervously looked at each other. He timidly put his arms around her waist and pulled her to him quickly. She stumbled into his chest and laughed. "At least it wasn't a drink this time."

"Two for two, Lewis!" Kevin yelled.

Michael glared at them when he heard them laughing. "Don't they have anything better to do?"

_With each word your tenderness grows  
Tearing my fear apart  
And that laugh  
That wrinkles your nose  
Touches my foolish heart_

She giggled. "No, they don't. You are on quite a roll tonight." He groaned again. She nervously put her arms around his neck and stepped closer to him. Their temples rested against each other and they took in their scents. Her eyes closed and she sighed happily. His arms tightened around her. "You smell really good." She murmured.

He blushed as her eyes widened. "You smell wonderful." He whispered. She shivered when his breath cascaded over her neck. She felt a tingle all over. "I'm glad you agreed to dance with me."

Sam looked at him and lightly touched his cheek. "I'm glad you asked."

The girls giggled at the sight of them. "They are so cute." Alice sighed.

Krista laughed loudly. "I can't believe that they are slow dancing to a fast song."

Monica smiled at the pair. Michael brought Sam closer. Sam's blush grew deeper. "Who would have ever thought they would get together?"

Sirius glared at them. "That's new." He muttered. Sirius and Remus looked at Monica in surprise. "Who said that their together?" Remus and Sirius yelled in unison. They glared at Sam and Michael.

James smiled. "If looks could kill, Michael would have died twice by now."

Lily laughed. "Look at how they are blushing! It's sort of sweet."

Sirius sneered. Sarah looked down at the ground sadly. She hated the fact that Sirius always got jealous over seeing Sam with someone else. "Why shouldn't they be together? They do seem very sweet with one another. Plus, Michael has been crazy about her for years." She said in a small voice.

The girls looked at Sarah and sighed. She looked so sad at that moment that they felt bad for her. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sam has plenty of guys' crazy about her. She doesn't have to settle for that git."

"Michael is a great guy! Why are you lot so hard on him?" Krista glared at the boys.

Remus rolled his eyes. "If he's so great then why is he dancing with her when he's your boyfriend?"

Krista sighed. "We broke up a few days ago. We realized that we just didn't belong together." Remus and Sirius' eyes widened and turned back to glare at the pair. Michael's eyes closed and a smile appeared on his face when Sam rested her head on his shoulder. They didn't seem to mind the weird glances people were sending their way because they were slow dancing to a fast song. Sam's eyes closed and she blushed when he tightened his arms around her. Sirius and Remus' eyes narrowed at them. Chris had a small smile on his lips. "You have to admit that they would make a cute couple." Krista added.

Chris nodded. "They would. It looks like Michael is finally going to get what he wants."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." The boys grumbled in unison.

Lily and Monica rolled their eyes. "You don't have anything to say about it! If Sam wants to be with him then she will! Remus, you will just have to accept it! Sirius, you have a girlfriend! It shouldn't matter to you if she dates Michael." Monica said.

Lily smiled at her while Sarah sighed. "Monica's right! Just be glad that she didn't choose Snape!"

Sirius sneered at that. "That's true but she deserves better than Lewis."

Chris glared at him. "Michael is a good guy! Stop always ragging on him!"

Remus looked at him in surprise. "I though you weren't friends with him anymore?"

He shrugged. "I'm not but that doesn't mean you can say all this crap about him."

The song ended but they made no attempt to separate. "Why aren't they coming back over here?" Remus grumbled.

Lily sighed as she looked at them. "They don't want the moment to end." Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes. "That is so sweet!"

Sirius pulled away from Sarah and yelled. "Hey you two!" They looked at him. "The song ended. Why don't you come back over to the group and take a break from dancing?" Sam smiled and shook her head. She looked over and waved at Severus before resting her head back on Michael's shoulder. Sirius was fuming and glared at Severus. "I'll be back." He grumbled before walking over to Severus.

_Lovely  
Never ever change  
Keep that breathless charm  
Won't you please arrange it  
'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight_

Sam smiled as they continued to dance. Michael was holding her tightly and she felt secure in his arms. She trembled when his fingers lightly traced her spine. His cheek was against hers and he was breathing heavily. "This feels nice." She muttered.

Michael kissed her cheek. "Yes, it does."

She played with his hair at the base of his head and sighed. He pulled his head away slightly and smiled at her. "Are you ok?" She whispered.

_And that laugh  
That wrinkles your nose  
It touches my foolish heart_

His lips were an inch away from hers. "I'm fine."

Sam looked at him closely. "Michael…?"

"Let me do this, ok?"

She let out a shaky breath. "Ok."

He brushed his lips lightly against hers. The way she was looking at him made his pulse race. "Was that ok?" She nodded quickly. "Would it be alright if I did it again?"

Sam stared at him in surprise. "You're asking my permission to kiss me?"

He smiled shyly. "Yes, I am." She smiled. "Would it be alright if I kissed you again?"

"No one's ever asked my permission to do that before." She looked at him and smiled again. She nodded and blushed. "It would be wonderful, Michael." She whispered.

Michael leaned in again and kissed her slowly. Their arms tightened around each other and he cautiously slid his tongue between her lips. His heart leapt when she did the same. He held her face in his hands. "I've wished for the day that you would kiss me like that."

_Lovely  
Don't you ever change  
Keep that breathless charm  
Won't you please arrange it  
'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight_

"I never thought I would." She slowly smiled. "I'm glad I did."

He smiled. "This has got to be the best night of my life." She blushed. "I'm glad we're…friends still."

Her face slightly fell before she smiled. "So am I. This was fun, Michael. Maybe we could dance again."

"That would be nice." She bit her lip when he walked away.

_Hmm...  
Hmm...  
Just the way you look tonight_


	41. Chapter 40: Cause And Effect

Author's Note: Hello! It's been a while and I've been busy writing and rewriting some things. I hope you all have been well. I wanted to update sooner but my computer hates me. It wouldn't turn on for like two days. Obviously, it's all fixed. Anyway, here is the long awaited chapter! I hope you enjoy but if you don't then oh well! You waited for nothing! HAHA! The lyrics in this chapter are from "A Day Like Today" by Tom Mcrae. It's such a beautiful song. Please, read and review! Can't wait to hear from you!

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Chapter 40: Cause and Effect.

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Andrew smiled brightly at Professor Dumbledore. "I just wanted to say goodbye again, sir."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in amusement as he shook the younger man's hand. "I see you have met Samantha's friends."

"Yes, I did. It was nice to put faces with the names. They seemed very nice."

"Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin did not seem pleased with your visit."

He rolled his eyes. "I thought it was time that they were put in their place. They needed to realize that Sam is not their property and she could find someone new in a heartbeat."

Dumbledore smiled. "I believe they do realize this. I believe that is why they try to make her think that there is no one else but them."

They lightly laughed when they saw Michael spill a drink down Sam's dress and heard what Frank yelled. "I think Sam has just realized that there is another option besides Sirius and Remus." Andrew smiled. Their eyes widened at how the pair was dancing slowly to a fast song and blushing deeply.

Dumbledore looked thoroughly amused when they began to kiss. "I do not believe I have blushed this much since Minerva said she liked the color of my dress robes last Christmas."

Andrew lightly laughed. His eyes narrowed when he saw Sirius speaking to Severus. Whatever he was saying was making Severus turn to stone. Michael and Sam deeply kissed before separating. Her face fell before she smiled. Andrew knew that she was disappointed by what Michael had said but quickly recovered. Once Michael walked away, Sirius was right next to her. Sam was about to walk away but he stopped her. They started to dance and Andrew eyed them closely. He had a feeling that Sirius was up to something. He was proven right when Sirius held her closely and slightly kissed the corner of her mouth. "He's up to something." He muttered.

The older man smiled. "Mr. Black is usually up to something. I think he is finding his courage."

"I'm not so sure about that, sir." Dumbledore eyed him curiously. "I just have this feeling that something's off." Sam and Sirius stopped dancing and were just holding each other tightly. Severus stalked out of the room. Andrew saw that they were breathing heavily as they continued to hold each other. People were staring at them in amazement. There was so much heat radiating from them that Andrew was surprised that he didn't see steam. Sirius kissed her cheek before smiling and walking away. He couldn't shake this nagging feeling. "Something is definitely off." He muttered. Remus pulled Sam to him and they seemed fine before they began to fight.

Andrew watched them closely. Sam was getting rather upset and was obviously crying. Remus kept talking and seemed to be getting angrier by the second. She turned her head and glared at Sirius, who was talking to James but stopped when he saw the look on her face. She said something to Remus and his eyes widened in surprise. He looked like he was pleading with her. He touched her arm but she pushed him away. "Don't touch me!" She yelled. He kept pleading with her and trying to grab her arm. Sam kicked him so hard in the groin that he jumped in the air and then she punched him in the eye. "I don't want you to come near me again!" She yelled before walking away. Remus was on the ground groaning loudly. She was in front of Sirius and slapped him across the face. "I hate you!" She ran out of the hall and he was in shock. He said something to James and James lightly laughed in response.

"Maybe I should go talk to her." Andrew sighed.

Dumbledore shook his head. "I think Samantha needs time alone. She will come to you when she is ready." Andrew nodded. "Do have a pleasant trip, Andrew. She will need you when you return." Dumbledore walked away and Andrew sighed before leaving.

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Sirius walked over to Severus, who was watching Sam with a smile on his face. "Hello Snivellus." He said brightly.

Severus glared at him. "What do you want, Black?"

He smirked. "Did you have fun dancing with her?" Severus sneered. "What makes you think that she actually wants someone like you?"

"Are you jealous that she would rather dance with me than you?" Sirius laughed. "What's so funny? If you knew the things she let me do to her, you wouldn't be so quick to laugh."

Sirius sneered. "She would never let you touch her!"

Severus smirked. "There was a time when she hated you and would have done _anything_ to make you suffer. Are you so sure that nothing happened between us?" Sirius was fuming. "I don't seem to hear you laughing now."

"Do you know what I laugh at?" Severus eyed him closely. "Do you remember that night last April? The night of the full moon by the Whomping Willow?" Severus' face turned to stone. "That's what makes me laugh." Sirius slowly smiled but quickly stopped when he saw Sam and Michael kissing deeply. His anger grew. "It was a shame that James saved your life. It would be a better place if you weren't in it." Severus was breathing heavily. "Whatever happened between you and Sam, it meant nothing to her."

"Yes, it did." Severus grunted.

He let out a giddy laugh. "How can you be so sure? Did she tell you that she liked spending time with you? Did she say she loved being friends with you? Did she say that your friendship meant a lot to her?" Severus' nostrils flared. "It was all an act. She never cared for you. We had a great laugh over it. You were just a game to her." Sirius saw Michael walk away from Sam and he smiled brightly. "It looks like it's my turn to dance with _my_ girlfriend."

Severus glared at them. Sirius whispered in her ear and she laughed. Sam looked over at him and smiled brightly and winked before Sirius wrapped his arms around her. They began to dance and Severus had seen enough when Sirius kissed the corner of her mouth. He stalked out of the Great Hall and went outside.

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Sam stared after Michael and sighed. She was about to walk away when someone grabbed her arm. She turned around and smiled when she saw Sirius. "Can I help you?" She asked.

_Welcome back  
Says the voice on the radio  
But I never left  
I was always right here_

Sirius smiled and whispered in her ear. "I believe that you promised me a dance and a kiss. I've come to collect."

She laughed. She saw Severus glaring at them. She smiled brightly and winked at him. Sirius slid his arms slowly around her waist and brought her closer to him. "I think there's something wrong with Severus."

"Besides the obvious?"

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I should go check on him. He seems to be rather upset."

_In your hand all the colors  
You thought were kings  
At the turn of a card  
Can just disappear_

Sirius smiled. "If I had to be him, I'd be upset too." She laughed. "Don't worry about him. You can check on him after our dance." She slowly nodded. His smile grew. "You look beautiful tonight, Baby." She blushed. "Of course, you looked beautiful three years ago when you wore the same color."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Y-You remember that?"

He leaned in and lightly kissed the corner of her mouth. Her eyes slowly closed as he rested his temple against hers. "I remember everything about you, Sammy. In your second year, you wore red dress robes. Your third year and tonight, you wore purple. In your fifth year, you wore blue…would you like me to go on? Do you want me to describe the pink tank top you wore the night we first slept together?"

_I wish I could comfort you  
If love is our defence  
It's alright I can comfort you  
If you let me I could love you to death_

Sam's breathing slowed. Her eyes were searching his face for something that she wasn't even sure of. "You remember all of that?" He smiled and nodded. "Why?"

Sirius caressed her cheek and she leaned into his touch. Her hands slid up and down his arms. "I remember everything because you mean everything to me." His lips were an inch away from hers and she nervously licked her lips. "I want to know and remember everything about you."

He twirled her around and pulled her quickly to him. Her back pressed into his chest. His lips lightly glided down her neck and rested against her bare shoulder. She turned her head slightly and he slowly kissed her lips. "What are you doing?" She whispered.

_Need to see  
Need to say  
Need to be  
Something beautiful_

Sirius turned her around and held her closely. She trembled when his hands traced her spine before massaging her neck. "Isn't it obvious?" He whispered in her ear. She slowly shook her head. "It should be."

_I can't get today  
Out of my mind  
Need to say need to call  
To love someone beautiful  
A day like today_

_Has stained my eyes_

They slowly stopped dancing and stared at each other closely. Their foreheads rested against each other as they held each tightly. They lightly kissed as their eyes closed. She looked down at the ground but he put his hand under chin and raised her lips to his. Her eyes fluttered shut when his tongue slid into her mouth with care. Her fingers traced his face gently before entangling in his hair. "Sirius…?"

_All I ever say  
And all i ever do  
Is just a message to you  
And all i ever play  
Are the cards you gave me  
It's just my version of the truth_

Their breathing was heavy and ragged. He looked at her closely and saw that her eyes were shiny and bright. His thumb glided across the bottom of her lip before he kissed her again. Their cheeks rested against one another. He tightened his hold on her and her nails grazed his back as she brought him closer. Her body trembled when she felt his breath on her neck. They held each other and tried to get their breathing under control. Their blood was boiling and their hearts were racing. He licked his lips and kissed her again. His finger wrapped around on of her loose curls and he kissed her ear lobe. "Samantha…?"

_All I ever say  
And all i ever do  
Is just a message to you  
And all i ever play  
Are the cards you gave me  
It's just my version of the truth_

"Yes?" She whispered.

"Kiss me."

"We've already kissed."

"Kiss me, Sam."

_I wish I could comfort you  
If love is our defence  
It's alright I can comfort you_

Sam held his face in her hands and lightly kissed him. Her lips parted and their kiss deepened. The song ended and they slowly separated. He made to walk away but she stopped him. "Sirius?"

Sirius stared at her expectantly. "Yes?"

"Who do you love?"

_If you let me I could love you to death_

"What?"

She sighed. "Lily mentioned that you were in love with someone. I want to know who she is and if this was just a show to make her jealous. Who do you love?"

He smiled slowly. "This wasn't a show or to make anyone jealous, Sammy."

"Sirius, who is she? Who do you love?" She whispered.

"Isn't it obvious?" She looked at him closely and shook her head. "I'll tell you…when the time is right. You'll know who I truly love soon enough." He kissed her cheek and winked. "This was fun, Sammy. Maybe we can dance again later." He winked again before walking away back to their friends.

_If you let me I could love you to death_

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Sirius felt like he was walking on a cloud. He was practically skipping over to his friends. They were staring at him with their mouths hung open. He had a giddy rush flow through his body when he saw the shocked look on Michael's face. Sirius knew that he got his points across. He knew he made Sam realize that they weren't truly over and he knew he made Michael realize that Sam would come back to him in a matter of time. Michael was just a passing fancy while Sirius was the one she would always truly want to be with. "That's how it's done, boys."

Lily eyed him closely. "Did you do all that as a show?"

Sirius smiled brightly at her. "It was a show."

James sneered while the others glared at him. "You better not be messing with her, Padfoot! You've done that enough already!"

He laughed. "It was a show for her! She had to see what I really want. She had to understand that I want her."

James shook his head in amazement. "I think she understands now. Sam was questioning me about who this mystery girl that you love is."

"She still doesn't know." Sirius sighed. "She asked me about the mystery girl too."

Alice rolled her eyes and laughed. "I love Sam to death but how thick is she?"

Frank laughed. "I guessing she is very thick. If she doesn't realize it after what just happened then she never will."

"I think she just doesn't want to believe it could be her after everything you did and said to her." Lilac said to Sirius.

Remus glared at Sirius. The way Sam was acting was making him rather upset and very jealous. He excused himself and walked over to Sam. He lightly touched her arm and she smiled at him. He pulled her to him quickly and she stumbled into his chest. "Do you want to dance?" He asked in a gruff voice.

Her eyes widened in surprise. She had never heard that tone in his voice before. "O-Of course, Moony. You are my date after all."

"It's good that you actually remember that."

She looked at him closely. "Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not."

"What's wrong, Baby?"

He was fuming. "I just can't believe you sometimes."

Sam looked at him in shock. "W-What did I do?"

Remus rolled his eyes and glared at her. "One minute, you're all over me and then Michael comes along and you are practically shagging him on the dance floor in front of everyone."

She pulled her head back and looked at him. "W-We kissed, that's true, but we weren't shagging."

"That's not what it looked like."

Sam touched his cheek but he pushed her hand away. "Why are you acting this way? So, I kissed Michael but I'm not dating anyone. It shouldn't matter."

"It does matter!" He growled. "What were you going to do, Sam? Were you going to use me for sex until someone else came along?"

"Remus, I'd never do that to you! You know that I love being with you!"

Remus pulled away from her. "You've said that but how can I believe it? The way you were practically drooling over him was disgusting! You were making an ass out of yourself over that prat!"

Her chin trembled. "Michael is not a prat! He is a good friend-"

He laughed. "Do you treat all your friends that well? I know Sirius and I have been treated _very_ well by you but now, I guess, it's finally Michael's turn!"

A tear dropped down her cheek. "Please, stop it, Remus. I'm sorry if I hurt you but you have to know how I truly feel. I wanted to-"

"I don't care! Do you honestly enjoy whoring yourself around like that?"

Her shoulders shook as she cried. "H-How can you say that to me? I didn't do anything wrong! We just kissed but I love you!"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you talking about the butterflies?" She nodded quickly. "That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard! If you still felt that way then you wouldn't have done that with Michael!"

Tears fell freely down her cheeks. "Please…Remus, I love you!" He rolled his eyes again. Her face contorted in anger. "You didn't seem to mind when Sirius had his tongue down my throat! Why does my kissing Michael bother you but Sirius kissing me doesn't?"

Remus knew he shouldn't have done it but he did it anyway. He smirked. "It was all an act, that's why! He did it as a show for the girl he _really_ loves!" She turned her head and saw Sirius laughing with James. She glared at him when he smiled brightly at her. Sirius looked surprised as hell. "Did you know that I've started sleeping with Hannah again?"

Sam looked so hurt that he immediately regretted lying to her. "H-How could you? After everything she said to you, why would you want her back?"

"She is better than you! You were never good enough!" She began to openly sob. "It's time that you knew the truth! You were just a toy to me and Sirius. We just used you for a quick thrill and we knew that you would come through! You are very eager to please anyone who lets you!"

She had trouble breathing. All the things she feared about what the two people she loved most thought about her turned out to be true. "Y-You said that you would always l-love me. You said I was better than I thought."

"I lied!"

"I was going to ask you to get back together with me tonight." She muttered.

His eyes widened. "Y-You were going to do what?"

She looked at him in such a way that it tore him up inside. "I wanted you back. I thought it was the right choice but I-I wasn't sure if you wanted to. A-Andrew thought it would be best to wait and see if it was the right choice. He didn't want to see me get hurt again."

"Sammy, I'm so sorry for what I said! I lied!" He said quickly. "I was just upset over seeing Michael kiss you! I-I really do love you! I didn't sleep with Hannah."

"This is like my fourth year all over again."

Remus tried to grab her arm to bring her closer to him but she pulled away. "No, it's not! Sammy, I love you! I was just hurt by seeing you with someone else."

He grabbed at her again but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" She yelled. "You did it again, Remus! In one minute, you called me a whore and hurt me. You know how much I hate that word and you know that I thought I wasn't good enough! I trusted you and you just used that against me! How could I be so stupid? Why do I continue to torture myself like this?"

"I'm sorry!"

She sneered. "That's all I ever hear out of you and Sirius! I'm tired of it! I don't want to be around you anymore."

Remus continued to try and pull her to him. "You can't mean that! I'm so sorry, Sammy! Please, forgive me!"

Sam smelt a light trace of fire whiskey on his breath. "Are you drunk?"

He looked away from her. "I've had a couple of drinks. Sirius snuck some in so he could bare being around Sarah."

"I can't believe you! Every time you get some fire whiskey in you, you become such an ass!"

"Sammy, forgive me! I didn't mean what I said! I love you! I want more than anything to be with you again!"

She glared at him as fresh tears fell from her eyes. "I hate you." His eyes went wide. He took a hold of her arm but she pushed him off of her. She was beyond angry. She kicked him so hard in the groin that he jumped in the air. She punched him in the eye as she yelled. "I don't want you to come near me again!" She left him groaning loudly on the floor.

Her friends were staring at her with concern in their eyes. She walked past them and stopped in front of Sirius and James. "Baby, are you alright?" Sirius asked slowly.

Sam's chin trembled as she looked at him. She couldn't believe how he used her and toyed with her again. "How could you do this to me again?" Sam asked before slapping him hard across the face. "I hate you!" She yelled before running out of the room.

Sirius looked utterly surprised. "Now, I'm not sure, but I honestly think I didn't deserve that this time." He muttered. James lightly laughed in response.

"What the hell did you do to her, Sirius?" Lily asked.

He held up his hands in defense. "I didn't do anything, I swear! Tell her, Prongs!"

James nodded. "He's actually telling the truth. Sam just walked over here, he asked what was wrong, and she slapped him. He is an innocent man."

Lily sighed. She was really concerned about her. The last time she was this upset she was sent to St. Mungo's. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

"Don't be. You had every right to think that I did something."

Remus limped over to them and sighed. He shifted uncomfortably because of their glares and the kick Sam gave him in the groin. "Moony, what the hell happened to make Sam so upset?" James asked.

He looked down at the ground in shame. He told them what happened and they looked at him in disgust. "How could you?" Sirius yelled.

"I-I was angry. I-I made a mistake." He said in a small voice.

They glared at him. "You're such a fucking ass!" Lily grunted. "You knew that would hurt her! We've just gotten the real her back! How could you? Do you want her to be sent away again?"

Remus looked like he was on the verge of tears. "N-No, of course not! I…" He trailed off. There was no excuse for the way he acted.

"We should go after her." Alice said. The girls nodded.

Michael stopped them from leaving. "You lot stay here. I'll find her."

"I'm coming with you." Krista said.

They ran out of the room and onto the grounds. It was pitch black and they had some trouble seeing. They lit their wands and went in search of Sam. "Where the hell is she?" Michael grumbled. They stopped short when they heard Sam scream in pain. Michael turned to Krista. "Go back to the Great Hall! Get James and tell him to hurry!"

Krista nodded quickly and ran. She skidded into the Great Hall and went over to the group. "James!"

James looked away from Lily and stared at her in surprise. "Krista, what's wrong?"

Her breathing was ragged. "We went looking for Sam. We heard her screaming! James, she sounded hurt! Michael sent me to get you. He went to find her and help her! You've got to hurry!"

James' eyes widened. "Krista, go tell Dumbledore to come at once! I'll go after them." Krista ran off and James turned to the others. "Make sure they follow."

"I'm coming with you!" Lily said.

"Lily-"

"Don't tell me no, James! She'll need us both!"

"Don't forget about me!" Remus and Sirius said.

Sarah held onto Sirius' arm. "Sirius, don't go!"

He pulled away from her. "Sarah, let go! Sam's in trouble! She needs me! I can't let anything happen to her!"

James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius ran out onto the grounds. They picked up their pace when they heard Sam screaming in agony. "_Stupefy_!" They yelled in unison. Severus fell to the ground. The sight scared the shit out of them. Michael was on the ground covered in and oozing blood. Sam was right next to him; blood was all over her dress and skin. James ran to her. He held her in his arms and her body was ice cold but her pulse was faint. Her body twitched and she groaned in pain. They turned when they heard someone approach. Their wands were raised but they soon lowered them when they saw Chris, Monica, Krista, Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. "Minerva, bring Samantha and Michael to the hospital wing at once." Professor McGonagall conjured up two stretchers and escorted them to the hospital wing.

James stared at Dumbledore. "Sir, will my sister and Michael be alright?"

Dumbledore sighed and looked at him with a grave expression. "Samantha will be fine."

Krista's eyes watered. "What about Michael?"

He sighed again. "I do not know what happened to Mr. Lewis. I do hope that he will be alright."

"What the hell happened?" Sirius grumbled.

Dumbledore stared at Severus. His eyes were wide but his body wasn't moving. "I will find out from Severus. I want you to go to the hospital wing. Samantha and Michael will need your support right now."

They nodded and quickly ran off. Remus was pale. The sight of Sam's unconscious body covered in blood made his heart stop. "It's all my fault." He muttered.

Dumbledore stood over Severus' body and his normally twinkling eyes were replaced by a blue fire. "There are a few things we need to discuss, Severus." Severus could only blink.


	42. Chapter 41: Lie To Me

Chapter 41: Lie To Me.

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Sam ran out onto the grounds and walked around as she cried. She couldn't believe how stupid she was. She trusted Remus with her doubts and fears about what they thought of her and he used that against her. She also couldn't believe that she fell for Sirius' old tricks again. He just used her to make the girl he really loved jealous. For a brief moment she actually believed that she was the one he really loved but it was all a lie. She really was just a toy for them to play with and she, as usual, played into their charms. "Samantha, are you alright?"

She looked up and let out a shaky breath. Severus was leaning against a tree and staring at her closely. His face was expressionless and she sighed. "No, I'm not." She muttered.

He continued to stare at her as she leaned again the tree right next to him. "What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"I'm the biggest git, Severus."

He lightly laughed. "Why do you say that?"

Sam looked so sad as she wiped away her tears. "You don't want to hear about my petty problems. Are you alright? You looked upset before. I was worried about you but Sirius convinced me to leave you alone for a bit."

Severus held in his sneer at the mention of Sirius' name and merely shrugged. "I will be alright. I'd rather hear about why you are so upset." She shrugged. "You can tell me, Samantha. We are friends, aren't we?"

She slightly smiled. "Of course we are, Severus." She hugged him tightly. "You were there for me during a very difficult time. I'll never be able to truly thank you for that."

He held her closely. "There's no reason to thank me. Tell me what happened."

Sam cried into his chest and clutched on his robes. She sighed as he rubbed her back. "Remus and I were dancing and at first, everything seemed fine but then he began saying the meanest things to me. He said that I was just a toy to him and Sirius. He said that Sirius was just using me to make some girl jealous. Remus said he started sleeping with Hannah again. He said that she was better than me in every way and how he lied when he told me that he would always love me. He c-called me a whore." She started to cry harder. He tightened his hold on her. "Why am I so stupid, Severus? Why do I always torture myself? Why do I let those two continuously hurt me?"

Severus sighed. "He was right, you know?'

She looked at him with a mixture of hurt and surprise. "W-What do you mean by that? How was he right?"

He gripped her arms so tightly that she let out a yelp. "You are just a whore!" She tried to pull away but he tightened his hold. "You easily came to me when you were upset. One big heart break had you opening your legs quickly for me. If I knew it would be so easy, I wouldn't have wasted my time pretending to be your friend."

"Severus, why are you saying this to me? I thought we were friends?"

He threw her against the tree and she winced when she felt the bark scrap her back. She felt a trickle of blood slide down her back. "Why would I be friends with trash like you? You are only good for one thing, Samantha. It's time for me to collect the entire package."

Sam made to walk away but he pushed her against the tree again. Her eyes widened when his hand gripped her throat tightly. She heard her dress tear as he forcefully pulled up her skirt. Her nails dug into his face and she scratched him. He clutched his face and fell away from her. "You will never touch me like that again!" She yelled as she slapped him. He glared at her. "Severus, this isn't you! Why would you do this? Why are you acting this way?"

"You stupid little bitch!" He spat out. He lunged at her but she punched him. "Since when am I not good enough to touch you?"

Sam looked at him in disbelief. "Are you thick? You attacked me and you're asking why I hit you?" He growled. "What is wrong with you? I thought we were friends!"

"It was all an act! It was just a game to you!" She shook her head aggressively. "Were you apart of it? Did you have a good laugh over my humiliation?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That _lovely_ prank your brother and friends pulled on me last year! Did you get a sick thrill over hearing how I almost died?"

Her eyes widened. "What prank? Severus, I don't know what you're talking about! I would be upset if you died!"

He smacked her across the face. "Don't lie to me! I know you knew about it! Did you have a good laugh over it?"

She started to walk away. "You're crazy! I don't have to listen to this!" She felt something hot fly by her arm. She turned around and saw his wand was pointing right at her. "What do you think you are doing?"

"I'm getting my revenge! Your brother and your friends will know never to mess with me again after tonight!" He pointed his wand at her again and yelled. "_Crucio_!"

Sam fell to the ground and screamed. Her body twitched and he stood over her. "Severus, don't do this!" She whimpered.

Severus smirked. "You don't have the authority to tell me what to do. _Crucio_!" She screamed again and he laughed. He did it a few more times and his laugh became manic. "You are enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Sam, where are you!" They heard someone yell.

Severus looked away from her and looked around to see where the voice was coming from. Sam, despite being in incredible pain, stood up and kicked Severus. He fell to the ground and dropped his wand. "Michael, don't come any closer!" She yelled.

Michael ran over to her and gasped. Her hair and dress were a mess. He saw bruises on her arms, neck, and cheek. Her body was still twitching. "Sam, what happened to you?" He hugged her tightly.

Sam winced in pain as he held her. "We have to go now! We have to go to Dumbledore!"

"What happened?"

"There's no time to explain! We have to leave at once!"

They began to run away but stopped when they heard Severus yell. "_Sectumsempra_!"

Michael fell to the ground and Sam gasped. It seemed like blood was flowing out of him from every part of his body. "Michael, no!" She cradled him in her arms and was soon covered in his blood. "Please Michael, don't die! Don't leave me, Michael!" She cried. "I love you, Michael! Please, don't die!"

She turned when she heard the disgusting laughter from Severus' mouth. "How sweet? You've only just realized you loved him when he is about to die."

Sam glared at him. She tightened her hold on Michael. "What did you do to him? He was never apart of this! Your problem is with me! He didn't deserve this!"

"He was an easy target! He was so willing to please you that it cost him his life! Now, where was I?"

Blood slid down her arms and chest as she slowly stood up and clutched her wand. "Do you want to kill me, Severus?"

"I trusted you and you betrayed me! You deserve this!"

"Do you want to kill me, Severus?" She yelled.

"Yes, I do!"

"Fine! Go ahead and do it then!" His eyes widened in surprise. "I'm not going down without a fight! If he dies, I die! You won't get the best of me! I won't let you! If it's a fight you want then it's a fight you'll get!" She growled. She pointed her wand at him and yelled. "_Crucio_!"

Severus dodged the curse and smirked. "Nice try, Samantha." Her body shook with rage. "_Crucio_!" She fell to the ground and screamed. Through her tears she saw Michael's bloody body lying next to her. He yelled the curse a few more times and laughed with glee when she screamed.

Sam felt her body grow cold as she moved around in the snow. With each curse he yelled she felt his anger grow. The pain was increasing at a rapid rate and she felt her heart slow down. Blackness overtook her just as she heard people yell. "_Stupefy_!"

* * *

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James sat by his sister's bed and watched her closely. His heart was full of dread as he remembered the last time she was lying in the hospital wing. Sirius, Remus, and Lily waited beside him. They looked at her expectantly every time she moaned in pain. James wanted to hold her hand to bring her comfort but Madam Pomfrey said it would cause her body pain to be touched. His body was full of rage. He couldn't think straight. A monster willingly tortured his baby sister and put her in the hospital wing. Her pulse was still faint and there was nothing he could do. The same monster almost killed Michael because he tried to protect her. Chris, Monica, and Krista were looking hopeful at Michael's bed. The curtain surrounded the bed and Madam Pomfrey was trying everything to stop the bleeding. The doors opened and everyone looked up. Professor McGonagall escorted Mr. and Mrs. Lewis and Mr. and Mrs. Potter in the room. They looked pale as they walked towards the beds. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis hugged Chris tightly. "What happened to him?"

Chris' face was blotchy and his chin trembled. "I-I don't know really. You should ask them. They saved them."

Mr. and Mrs. Lewis saw the Potters hugging the other kids tightly and walked over to them. They looked down at Sam and gasped. "Catherine." Mrs. Potter said while hugging Mrs. Lewis.

"Alfred." Mr. Potter said while shaking Mr. Lewis' hand.

"What happened to them?" Mr. Lewis asked in a gruff voice.

"We don't know. James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily found them." Mr. Potter answered. James was hugging Lily tightly. She started to cry when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter. "What happened to them?" He asked.

James continued to hold Lily as she cried. He didn't trust himself to speak. Remus was just staring at Sam's unconscious body. He was trying his best to will her awake. Sirius looked at his friends and sighed. "We don't know really. Krista came running into the Great Hall and she said Michael sent her to get James after they heard Sam screaming. Michael went after her and we ran after them when we heard Sam screaming again. We stunned…_Snape_. S-Sam and Michael were covered in blood and unconscious. We have no idea what he did to Michael, but she had the Cruciatus Curse used on her a few times." Sirius said in a small voice.

"Snape? Isn't that the same boy who was tutoring Samantha?" Mrs. Potter asked. Sirius slowly nodded. "Why would he do this to them? I thought they were friends!"

"He's a Slytherin! What other reason do you need?" Mr. Potter grunted. He sat down next to his daughter's bed and he took the sight of her in. His blood started to boil when he saw the bruises on her face, neck, and arms. The last straw for him was when he saw her skirt torn. "Son of a bitch!"

"Harold, what is it?" Mrs. Potter asked.

Mr. Potter pointed to her skirt and the bruises and Mrs. Potter gasped. James stared wide eyed. He couldn't believe that he didn't see it. The doors opened and Patrick ran into the room. He hugged his aunt and uncle tightly. "Mum and Dad told me Michael was in some sort of an accident. What happened?"

"Some boy, who was friends with Sam, named…Snape attacked them." Mrs. Lewis said as Patrick hugged her.

"Sammy?" Patrick looked around and noticed the Potters staring at a bed. "Sam and Michael were attacked by Snape?" Mrs. Lewis nodded. Patrick walked over to the Potters and paled at the sight of her. "I'm so sorry." He muttered to Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Mr. Potter nodded and shook his hand. Patrick briefly hugged Mrs. Potter. "What did he do to them, sir?"

Mr. Potter sighed. "We have no idea what he did to Michael but he performed the Cruciatus Curse on Sammy a few times."

James gritted his teeth. Having them repeat what happened to Michael and Sam and seeing her dress torn was making him go crazy. "Michael tried to protect her."

Patrick turned around and saw the others staring at him. "He did?" They nodded. "He always wanted to be her hero." He muttered. "When can we see Michael?"

"Madam Pomfrey is still trying to stop the bleeding. She has no idea what hex was used." Lily sighed.

He was confused. "If she was able to stop Sam's bleeding, why can't she stop Michael's?"

Monica held onto Chris tightly. He was being so quiet as he watched the curtain and Sam's bed closely. "Sam only had a little blood from the scraps and cuts on her back." He muttered.

"There's blood all over her dress and skin!" Patrick said through gritted teeth.

Krista wiped away her tears. "I-Its Michael's blood. We think she was trying to protect him before she was attacked again."

The doors opened and Dumbledore walked in and was followed by a shivering Severus. His eyes darted around and his blue lips moved as his teeth chattered. James' nostrils flared and he pulled away from Lily. He ran over to Severus and was about to strike him when he was stopped. He looked up and saw Patrick holding him back. "Let go of me! He tried to kill my sister! He violated her! He almost killed Michael! He deserves to pay!"

Patrick held him up against the wall and sighed. "I know what he's done. He does deserve to pay but you hitting him is not the answer. Don't you think Dumbledore has a reason for bringing him in here when he knew that we _all_ want revenge for hurting Sammy and Michael?"

James' shoulders slumped and he sighed. "That son of a bitch tried to kill my baby sister…he violated her. H-He attacked Michael for protecting her."

He sighed. "I know, James. He is the worst excuse for a human but you have to think. There has to be a reason why Dumbledore would bring him in here."

Dumbledore looked at Patrick closely and nodded. "You are correct, Mr. Lewis." He led Severus behind the curtain and the others waited. Dumbledore and Severus walked out. "Minerva, could you please help Poppy with the last of the bandages?" She nodded quickly and went to help Madam Pomfrey.

Mr. and Mrs. Lewis and Patrick paled and held each other tightly. "T-The last of the bandages? D-Does that mean…? Is he…?" Mr. Lewis couldn't bring himself to finish asking those questions.

Dumbledore sighed. "Michael will be just fine. Severus informed Madam Pomfrey which hex he used." They sighed in relief. He looked down at Severus. "Now, you must help Samantha."

"Oh no! He's not going anywhere near her!" Sirius grunted.

Remus stood up next to Sirius and gritted his teeth. "He has done enough damage!"

"I can help her." Severus muttered. He was finally getting the chill out of his system. The sight of Michael's bloody body and Sam's unconscious body made him feel sick to his stomach.

The women had to use all their strength to hold the men back. "Are you going to help her by cursing her again? I will kill you for this!" James yelled. Lily was having trouble holding him back and a part of her really wanted to let him go so he could make good on his threat. Monica and Krista had to sit on Chris and Remus' backs to keep them from attacking Severus.

Sirius slipped past Mrs. Potter and tried to hit him but Dumbledore stopped him. "He is the only one that can ease her pain. Only the person who performed the curse can ease the victim's suffering."

"What if he hurts her again?" Chris muttered.

"Severus will not hurt Samantha again." Dumbledore turned to Severus. "You may begin."

Severus sighed as he raised his wand. Sam started to twitch and groan before screaming. Sirius punched Severus in the side of his head. "What are you doing to her?" He yelled.

Patrick pulled Sirius off of Severus even though he wished to let him finish kicking his ass. Dumbledore sighed. "Sirius, that's enough!" Everyone stood still when he yelled. "Severus is reversing the effects of the curse. Samantha will be in some pain but it will end soon." He looked at Severus. "You may continue."

Severus sighed before continuing and the others cringed when she screamed. She soon became relaxed and sighed. Her eyes slowly opened and she smiled when she saw Patrick. "M-Michael?"

Patrick walked over to her and awkwardly sat down on the bed. He stopped her when she tried to sit up. "Don't move, Sammy. You don't want to hurt yourself."

Her smile grew. "Is this heaven, Michael?" He slightly smiled. She lightly pushed his blonde hair out of his eyes. "You look like an angel."

He blushed and lightly laughed. "I don't know about that." He felt the others move closer around them. "Sammy, how are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?"

Sam flung her arms around his neck and cried. Patrick's eyes widened in surprise and gently held her. "I'm so sorry, Michael! I didn't mean to kill you!"

The others gasped. Patrick slightly pulled away and wiped away her tears. "Sammy, what are you talking about? Michael isn't dead."

Her chin trembled when she looked at him. "My friendship with Severus is the reason why you're dead. If I…if I was never friends with him, you would still be alive. It's my fault this happened. Don't you see, Michael? In a way, I was the one that killed you. He killed you because you were trying to help me! You're dead because of me!"

"Sammy, it's not your fault that this happened. Michael isn't dead. He is going to be just fine. He is resting in the bed next to you. He wouldn't want you acting this way. Michael doesn't blame you. He blames Severus."

She tightened her hold on him and cried. "Michael, I'm so sorry. We would still be alive if I was never friends with him. Can you ever forgive me?"

Patrick sighed. "Sammy, you and Michael are still alive. You two are safe and sound. This wasn't your fault! Everything will be fine."

Sam sighed. She looked over Patrick's shoulder and screamed. Severus still had his wand pointed at her. His eyes widened and he lowered his wand. She saw Patrick's wand sticking out of his pocket and she grabbed it. She moved around and stood in front of Patrick's body. She pointed the wand at Severus and growled. "I won't let you hurt him again! I won't let you!" She glared at him. "_Avada_-"

Mr. Potter pulled the wand out of her hand and she stared at him in surprise. "Samantha, you don't want to do that."

She looked around the room in confusion. She saw her and Michael's parents and their friends staring at her but they didn't seem real to her. She gasped when she saw Patrick sitting on the bed. "P-Patrick, is that you?" He smiled encouragingly at her and nodded. Her eyes widened. "M-Michael! Is he still alive?"

Mr. Lewis nodded. "He'll be fine, Sammy. He's resting right now. We'll be able to see him soon."

"Do you promise that he will be ok?" She asked in a small voice.

"He will be fine, Sammy." Patrick stood up and smiled her. "You should get back into bed. You need your rest."

She sighed as she turned around. She saw them staring at her closely. The sight of her father brought her back to reality. He was staring at her closely and her chin trembled. He slowly walked over to her and she hugged him tightly. She cried into his shoulder and he held her tightly. "Daddy, I'm so sorry. If I wasn't a bad girl then this wouldn't have happened. I promise I won't be bad again."

Mr. Potter held her face in his hands and sighed. Seeing his little girl like this broke his heart. He was finally starting to get over seeing her terrified that night they brought her to St. Mungo's. Now, when he saw her bruised, bloody, and unconscious body…it scared him to death. He knew part of what she saw in her dream and when Professor McGonagall stepped out of the fireplace and informed them of the attack, his heart stopped. He thought he lost his little girl forever. To hold her in his arms, despite the fact that she was crying tore him up, brought a sense of relief to him. To know that she was still alive…he'd never been more relieved. "Sammy, this isn't your fault! You were his friend and he attacked you and Michael! You did nothing wrong! You're still my good little girl!"

Sam clung to him and continued to cry. "No, I'm not. I've done bad things. I deserved this to happen to me but Michael was innocent. The only thing he ever did wrong was love me. He tried to help me but I didn't move fast enough. I should be lying where he is."

Mr. Potter guided her back to her bed and they sat down. "Baby, don't say that. No one deserved this." He cradled her in his arms. "Tell me what happened, Sammy."

She looked up at her father and fresh tears rolled down her face. "I-I can't. You won't love me anymore if I do."

He wiped away her tears. "That's not true." He sighed. He knew that he would have to do something that he only did when she was a little girl and she thought she was in trouble. "Who's my favorite little girl?" He whispered in her ear.

She sniffed. "I am." She muttered.

He smiled. "That's right. Who will always be my favorite little girl no matter what?"

"I will."

"Who will I love no matter what she says or does?"

"Me."

He kissed her temple. "That's my girl. Now, no matter what you tell me, even if I get upset, you know that I will always love my Sammy, right?" She nodded slowly. James slightly smiled. He may not have been able to hear what his father whispered to her but he knew what he said. He would always say it to her when she was about to get into trouble and was afraid to tell the truth. "Can you tell Daddy what happened tonight?" He whispered. She bit her lip and awkwardly nodded. "Good girl, Sammy. Don't worry about upsetting me, ok?" She nodded again. "Tell me what happened to my baby girl."

Sam shook slightly and sighed when her father hugged her tighter. "I-I got upset and ran out onto the grounds."

Mr. Potter nodded. He saw the others listening closely. "Why were you upset?"

Sirius and Remus saw her glance at them and they sighed. Sam shook her head. "I-I'm not really sure, Daddy. I-I don't really remember."

"That's ok, Baby. Keep going."

"I ran into Severus and we were talking. I-I hugged him and thanked him for being such a good friend to me when I was going through that tough time." Mr. Potter's teeth slightly clenched. "All of a sudden he started to get so upset. He threw me against the tree and said I was a piece of trash and I was only good for one thing." She sighed. "Daddy, we've kissed a couple of times before tonight but we decided to just be friends."

He nodded slowly. He was trying to keep his anger under control so he wouldn't scare her. He was beyond upset by what that monster said and did to his daughter. "It's ok, Sammy. It's ok that you kissed him. Please, continue."

Sam looked at him for a moment. She noticed that the others were staring at her and listening to what she was saying closely. She bit her lip and sighed. "He said that I was only good for one thing and that it was his time to collect." Mr. Potter ran his hand roughly over his face. The others shook their heads. "I tried to get away but he pushed me back against the tree and put his hands around my throat." She stopped and looked at her father. "Daddy, I don't have to continue, do I?"

Mr. Potter could have killed someone at that moment. He looked at his little girl and let out a breath. He didn't want to hear anymore but they needed to know what happened. "I'm sorry but you have to. I know it's hard for you to tell us what happened but we need to know, Sammy. Don't worry about the way we will react. We aren't angry with you. I promise that we won't hate you, ok?"

She nodded. Mrs. Potter saw how her husband and sons (Remus, Sirius, and James) were reacting to what they were hearing. Lily sat the boys down on the bed next to where Sam and her father were sitting. She held James' hand and he slightly smiled at her. Mrs. Potter sat next to Sam and rubbed her back. "S-Severus had his hand around my throat and I couldn't really breathe that well. I heard my dress rip as he pulled up my skirt." She let out a shaky breath. "He gripped my thighs hard and I scratched his face to get him away from me."

"Good girl!" Mr. Lewis exclaimed. He glared at Severus.

Sam slightly jumped at the sound but soon relaxed when her mother put her arms around her. "He called me a bitch and slapped me. He was talking crazy."

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" Mrs. Potter asked.

She shook her head. "He asked me if I had a good laugh over his humiliation. He said something about some prank that was pulled on him last year and how he almost died." James, Remus, and Sirius' eyes widened. They saw Dumbledore give them a meaningful look. "He said he trusted me and I betrayed him. I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about and that I would be upset if he died. I tried walking away but stopped when he tried to hex me. He performed the Cruciatus Curse on me a few times before Michael yelled for me. Severus was distracted so I got up and kicked him to the ground."

"That's my girl." Mrs. Potter muttered.

"We tried to run towards the castle and find Professor Dumbledore. I felt Michael push me out of the way when Severus yelled some hex at us. The next thing I knew, he was on the ground, covered in blood." Patrick gulped down his rage. Mr. Lewis held onto his wife while she silently cried. "I held onto him because I didn't want Severus to hurt him again. He said I deserved to die for betraying him. I swear, I never betrayed him."

"We know, Baby." Mr. Potter muttered.

"He performed the curse a few more times and I felt his anger grow. I was in so much pain and the last thing I remember was someone yelling before I passed out."

Before anyone could react, Mr. Potter stood up and grabbed Severus by his robes. He lifted him off the ground and Severus' eyes grew wide. "You son of a bitch! She trusted you and you tried to violate her! I will kill you for this!"

The men tried to pull him away but nothing worked. Sam ran to her father. "Daddy, don't do this!"

Mr. Potter turned his head and saw the fear on his daughter's face. "Sammy, how can you protect him after what he did?"

"I don't want to protect him. I just don't want you to go to Azkaban for this. I deserved it!"

He stared at her in disbelief. He looked at Severus in disgust before throwing his away. Severus fell to the floor and groaned. He walked over to her and his heart broke when she moved away from him. "Sammy, I'm not going to hurt you." She slowly walked to him and he hugged her. She held onto him tightly while he cried. "You could have died. I almost lost you, Sammy. I couldn't bare it if I lost you."

She tightened his grip on him. "I'm still here, Daddy. Killing him isn't the answer. I don't want to lose you if you're sent to Azkaban for something I deserved."

Mr. Potter held her face in his hands. "You didn't deserve this! Do you understand me, Samantha?" She nodded quickly. "No one deserves this! He is a sick and foul excuse for a human! He was lucky to have you trust him and he betrayed you!" He sighed. "Was this what you saw in that dream?" He whispered in her ear.

Sam shook her head. "No, it wasn't, Daddy."

Severus slowly stood up and looked away from the stares. Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder. "Severus, it is time to go to my office."

He walked next to Dumbledore and stopped when he reached Sam. "Samantha…?"

She looked away from his and held onto her father tightly. "Severus, it is time to go." Dumbledore said. Severus nodded slowly and they left.

"When can we see Michael?" Sam asked.

Madam Pomfrey smiled. "You can see him right now."

Sam and Mr. Potter walked over to Chris and Monica. Chris and Sam hugged each other while they watched Mr. and Mrs. Lewis and Patrick walk behind the curtain. Patrick peeked his head out and slightly smiled. "Aren't you two coming?"

Chris slight smiled at Sam when she gently squeezed his hand. "We'll go in when you are done." Chris said. Chris and Sam held each other's hands tightly as they waited for their turn to see Michael. They were terrified to see him. Monica held Chris' other hand as Lily and Sam hugged. Patrick came out and called them over. Chris turned to Sam and sighed. "Are you ready?" He asked in a small voice.

Sam paled. "Y-You can go in first. You'll need time alone with him. I-I'll wait out here."

They hugged again. "Are you sure?" She nodded quickly. "I'm scared to see him, Sammy." He whispered in her ear.

She awkwardly smiled. "So am I." She sighed. "It'll be fine, Chris. He'll be happy to see you." He nodded and walked behind the curtain.

Lily hugged Sam again. "He'll be fine, Sammy." Sam nodded. "I'm so happy that you're ok."

Sam nodded. "So am I."

Patrick walked over to them and awkwardly smiled. "How are you doing, Sammy?"

She stared at him closely. "I've been better." He nodded. "I'm just glad that Michael's going to be ok. When will he be able to go home?"

He sighed. "Michael will have to spend the entire holiday here." She sighed sadly. He slightly rubbed her shoulder. "It's ok, Sammy. I'm going to be keeping him company. The entire family will be here with him for Christmas. He won't be alone."

Sam slightly smiled. "That's good to hear. I just wish he was able to go home for the holiday." He smiled. "Where's Kasey and Abby? Do they know what happened to him?"

"Who are they?" Lily asked.

Patrick smiled at her. "They are Michael's younger sisters." He looked at Sam. "They are with my parents. They wanted to come but they sent me to see what happened. They didn't want to upset the girls just in case…" He trailed off.

Sam hugged him. "He's fine just like you said, Patrick." He nodded. "They will be so happy to see him. I know how much he misses them."

Mrs. Potter walked over to them. "Sammy, we can go home now. Madam Pomfrey agreed to let us take you home."

"Can I see Michael first?" Mrs. Potter nodded and smiled. Sam sighed. "Mama, Michael has to spend the entire holiday here. Is it ok if I come to visit him? I know his family will be here but I thought it would be nice if he had a friend to come visit him."

"We'll check with his parents but I don't see why not, sweetheart. I'm sure Michael would appreciate it."

Chris walked out. "Sam, he wants to see you."

She gulped. "How'd it go?"

He slightly smiled. "It went alright. He just wants to see that you're ok. He's really worried about you even though I told him that you were fine." She looked scared. "Do you want me to go with you?" She nodded. He smiled. "Ok, let's go."

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Chris walked through the curtain and his breath caught in his throat. Michael had bandages covering most of his body and blood was mixed in his hair. Michael opened his eyes and looked surprised as hell to see him. "I'm surprised that you aren't disappointed to see that I'm not dead." Michael croaked when he saw the concern on Chris' face.

He sighed. "Maybe it was a mistake to come see you." He turned to leave.

"Chris, don't go." Chris stopped and looked at him. "I was just surprised to see you."

Chris sat down in the chair next to his bed and sighed. "It's a surprise to see you like this." Michael weakly shrugged. "H-How are you feeling, mate?"

"I feel like I could do back flips." Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm sore as hell but I'll be fine." Chris nodded slowly. "How's Sam? My parents and Patrick told me what…he did to her before I got there."

He shrugged. "She was very upset. She thinks she deserved what happened to her. She said if you didn't push her out of the way, she would be where you are." Michael sighed. "It didn't help matters when her father attacked Snape."

"He did?" Chris nodded. "I knew I always liked him for a reason."

Chris laughed. "Sam's really worried about you but she was scared to see you. She probably thinks you hate her."

Michael slightly shook his head. "I couldn't hate her even if I tried."

He smirked. "It looked like you two were really getting close before…well, you know."

He blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please, spare me. Mate, you have a shot with her finally! Now, she thinks you're her hero!"

"I don't want her if that's the only way she'll notice me."

"She noticed you before."

Michael sighed and eyed him closely. "Why are you being so nice to me? I thought we weren't friends anymore?"

"Well, you did act like a prat when we went out with her."

"You were constantly ragging on me and tried to hog all her attention."

"Only after you started acting like a prat."

"I wasn't the only prat in that situation."

Chris' eyes narrowed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind."

"No, you brought it up and you're going to explain yourself."

Michael sighed. "It's stupid."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Just tell me."

"We were best mates since before we came to Hogwarts." Chris nodded. "Once you got on the Quidditch team, you started getting closer to Sam and her brother and their friends. You were ditching me to spend time with them. I mean, I have other friends besides you and Sam but…"

"But what?"

"They always gave me a hard time. They always made me feel like an outsider. Sam tried her best but nothing seemed to work. They accepted you in a matter of seconds but for some reason they look down on me."

He sighed. "They like you Michael. They give everyone a hard time. They still give me a hard time. Sirius and James are like the leaders. James likes you. Sirius…you know how he is when it comes to her." Michael nodded. "Remus and Sirius…they are jealous of each other and of you. They want to be number one in her life and hate the fact that she cares about all of us."

He shrugged. "It just seemed to me that you rather wanted to hang out with your new best friends than me. You, Frank, and Kevin seemed like best mates and…I don't know. The last straw for me was when you asked her out the same night I did. You knew how I felt about her and did it anyway. I guess it felt like you were trying to get me to hate you and get me away from her."

"Michael, you know we only went out so we could get over Hannah and Lupin. We never cared about each other in that way. As for Frank, Kevin, and I…they are fun to hang around with but I always thought of you as my best friend. When you started getting possessive of her and tried to exclude me from plans, it hurt. So, I lashed out and that's when we stopped being friends."

Michael laughed. "For Merlin's sake, we sound like a couple of girls!"

Chris laughed. "We sure do." He sighed. "I'm sorry about what I told her this afternoon. You trusted me and I broke it."

He nodded. "It's ok, Chris. I deserved it after the way I acted."

He sighed. "Do…do you…how about we give this friend thing another try? The others are great and all but I'd rather tell you about what Monica and I do." He winked.

He rolled his eyes. "Won't your other friends have a problem with that?"

"Who cares? If they are really my friends then they'll just have to get over it. Plus, they do like you. Sirius and Remus are just a couple of asses because they spend so much time competing for Sam."

Michael nodded and stuck out his hand. Chris took it. "Friends?"

"Friends."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Can you tell Sam I want to see her? I just want to see with my own two eyes that she's really ok."

"I'll go get her."

Chris left and Michael waited anxiously to see her. They walked in and he smiled at her. "Hey Sammy."

Sam sat down next to him on the bed and held his hand gently. Chris sat in the seat next to them. He held her other hand. "This reminds me of the time when we went out." Chris rolled his eyes. "Please, let's try that again."

The three of them shared a laugh. "Nice tension reliever, Chris." Michael said.

"I try."

Sam smiled at Michael. "How are you feeling?"

"Not too good." Her eyes widened. "I only feel that way because I heard that you think I hate you and that you deserved to be where I am right now."

She sighed. "If it wasn't for me, you would be able to go home and spend the holiday with your family."

He smiled. "I'll still be with my family, Sammy." She looked away from him. He held her hand tightly. "I don't hate you. I did what I did to protect you. I only wish that I got there sooner." She looked at him closely. "I heard about what he did and tried to do to you." Her lip trembled. "Don't cry, Sammy. Trust me when I say that you didn't deserve this. No one does. Snape is a just a lonely and crazy bastard. He was lucky to have you as his friend and he hurt you. This isn't your fault."

She rubbed his hand with her thumb. "I can't help but think that if I was never friends with him then this wouldn't have happened to you." She kissed the back of his hand. "Michael, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." Chris smiled. "When I saw you lying on the ground, covered in blood…I thought you were dead."

"You said you loved me." Michael said. Sam and Chris looked up in surprise. "That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out."

Sam blushed. "I do love you, Michael." He smiled. "I was willing to die with you. That was one of the reasons why I tried to hex him."

"Sammy, you shouldn't have done that. You should have run."

"I couldn't just leave you like that. Michael, you mean so much to me."

Chris had a look of mock offend on his face. "I'm still here!" They gave him a weird look. "What? You don't care about me too? That hurts, Sammy!"

They rolled their eyes and laughed. "You're such a prat." Michael said with a smile.

"Takes one to know one." Chris replied.

Sam looked between them and slowly smiled. "What is this?" They looked at her curiously. "What's going on? You two can't actually be friends."

Chris poked her in the side and she rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. "We decided to actually stop being gits and try this friend thing again."

She laughed. "Wow! I wonder what it's like to see you two _not_ being gits." They opened their mouths to argue but she stopped them. "Don't even try to deny it! You two were the biggest gits!" They slowly nodded. "I'm glad you two are friends again."

Chris smiled. "So am I. I've got to tell someone about Monica."

Sam gave him a look. "You're a disgusting git!"

He rolled his eyes. "Spare me, Samantha. We all know what you were doing with Lupin this afternoon."

She blushed and Michael looked at him. "What happened?"

Chris shifted uncomfortably. "N-Nothing really."

He sighed. "You two shagged again?"

Sam slowly nodded. "We did but I won't be making that mistake again. He's a jerk and I won't be wasting anymore time on him."

Michael smiled at her. "Let's talk about something else." She smiled at him. "What are you two going to do over the holiday?"

Chris smiled. "My parents are going to France but I decided to stay here. Kevin and Frank are staying as well." Michael sadly smiled. "Now, you'll have the three of us to keep you company besides Patrick."

"Mama said I had to go home but if it's ok with your parents, I can come visit you everyday."

Michael blushed. "You don't have to do that."

They rolled their eyes. "We want to, Michael. We're your friends and we want to make sure you get better!" Sam said.

"Won't it be weird for you to be around Patrick?"

Chris laughed. "I doubt it." Michael gave him a curious look. "When she woke up and saw him, she thought it was you and said he looked like an angel."

She groaned while Michael laughed. "You didn't!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, she did! When I went to get her for you, they were hugging!"

Michael shook his head. "I hope you're not going to go out with him again."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Of course not! He was upset and I was trying to comfort him, that's all. I have no interest in him."

"You know, he isn't so bad anymore. He's grown up a lot."

"You want me to go out with him again?"

Michael laughed. "Of course not! I'm just saying that he isn't such a prat anymore."

"Enough about Patrick! I want to know if your mum is making her famous Christmas pies this year!" Chris said while rubbing his hands together.

He nodded. "I think I can ask her to do that."

"Are they that good?" Sam asked.

Chris nodded eagerly. "Sammy, they are the best! You have to try them!"

"I can't wait! Is it ok if I stop by after dinner with my family?"

Michael blushed. "You don't have to do that, Sam."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I want to, Michael. I'll see if it's ok with my parents first but I think it will be alright. James is going to Lily's for dessert. I see no reason why I can't come here."

"This is great!" Chris exclaimed. "Out of tragedy, great things are happening! We are all friends again and we'll be able to stuff our faces with your mum's pies! Things are looking up!"

They laughed at him. Madam Pomfrey walked in and smiled at them. "It's time to go. Mr. Lewis needs his rest." They nodded and she left.

Chris shook Michael's hand. "I'll see you later, mate."

Sam smiled at Michael and blushed. Chris was staring at them closely. "I'll see you tomorrow, Michael." She kissed his cheek. "Try and feel better."

He nodded. "I will." She stopped moving and looked at him closely. "Did you forget something, Sammy?"

She nodded slowly. "I forgot to give you this." She leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Chris looked at them in shock. Sam pulled away and smiled. "I'm glad we're still friends, Michael." He nodded his head quickly. "Have sweet dreams tonight."

"Bye, Sammy. Have good dreams too." She looked at him sadly and nodded quickly. He looked at her closely and before he had a chance to ask her about it, she left.

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Chris and Sam walked out from behind the curtain, laughing. "Sammy and Michael sitting in a tree…" He whispered in her ear.

Sam blushed and lightly hit his arm. "Shut up, Chris!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter and Mr. and Mrs. Lewis looked at them with smiles. They walked over to them and Sam hugged her father tightly. "What are you two laughing at?" Patrick asked.

Chris laughed when he saw Sam blush again. "I was just making fun of Sam…for kissing Michael!"

Patrick laughed. "Did she?"

He nodded while Sam looked at the ground to avoid the amused looks on Michael's and her parents' faces. "Yes, she did." He winked at Sam when she looked at him. "They got _real_ close on the dance floor tonight. I think even Dumbledore blushed when they kissed." Sam shook her head in disbelief while the others laughed. "It was _so_ sweet when they slow danced to a fast song."

She groaned. "Chris, shut up! My very over protective father is right here! I doubt he really wants to hear about his daughter kissing someone!"

Mr. Potter hugged her tightly to him. "It's ok, Sammy. I've always liked Michael. I just never liked Patrick…until tonight that is."

Patrick blushed. Mrs. Lewis laughed. "He was a git while he went out with Samantha."

Mr. Lewis nodded. "He really was. When we found out about that bet…we thought his parents raised him better than that."

Patrick groaned. "Can we please stop this death march down memory lane? I know I was a git when I went out with her. I fully admit to it. I am sorry about what happened between us but I have changed."

Mrs. Potter smiled. "Yes, you have. I like the new Patrick better." She sighed. "I think we should go now."

They nodded. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis hugged Sam. "Is it alright with you if I come to visit Michael?"

They smiled at her. "That would be nice. Michael would really like that."

Chris looked at the Potters. "Can Sam come here for dessert after Christmas dinner? Michael and I told her all about Mrs. Lewis' pies. She has to try them!"

They nodded and laughed. "Who said I would be making them this year, Chris?" Mrs. Lewis said playfully.

Chris looked at her with sad eyes. "Won't you please make them, Mum? I know it would mean so much to Michael if you did."

Mrs. Lewis rolled her eyes. "I'm surrounded by gits!"

Mrs. Potter smiled at her. "I know how you feel, Catherine."

Mrs. Lewis smiled. "You and Harold should come as well."

"What about Sirius? We can't leave him all alone."

"He can come too."

"Should I bring anything?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"You can bring a dessert."

"Wonderful! We'll stop by!"

They walked over to the others and Chris hugged Sam. "I'm glad you're ok." He whispered in her ear.

Sam smiled. "So am I." They sighed. "I'm really glad you two are friends again."

He winked at her. "So am I." They smiled at each other. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sam nodded before walking away. She smiled when she hugged Patrick. "It was good seeing you again, Patrick."

He smiled and walked her over to James and Lily. "It was good seeing you too, Sam." James hugged her tightly and began to walk away but stopped when Patrick said. "I'll see you tomorrow." She nodded.

Remus touched her arm but she pulled away. "Why are you seeing him tomorrow?" He muttered.

She looked at him with a cool expression on her face. "I believe I told you not to come near me again."

He touched her arm. "Sam, I'm sorry. You have to know that."

Sam pulled away. "I also told you not to touch me."

Sirius sighed. "Sam, you have to forgive him." He grabbed her arm when she tried to walk away. "Sam, he made a mistake."

She sneered at them. "I've been grabbed at enough for one evening. Please, don't touch me either." She walked away from them and smiled when her father put a protective arm around her shoulders.

James sighed. "She'll get over it, Moony. She just needs some space."

Lily nodded. "James is right, Remus. Sam will come around."

"It's my fault this happened to her. If I would have just shut up and not been a prat, Michael and Sam wouldn't have had to go through this."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "You made a mistake but this isn't your fault. He did this to them. He wanted revenge and…for some reason thought she was behind what happened. Just give her some time."

"Are you coming, boys?" Mrs. Potter asked. The boys nodded and James kissed Lily goodbye and caught up to them. Sirius sighed when Sam sneered at him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter, may I have a word with you in private?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

They nodded. "Kids, why don't you get your things and meet us at Professor Dumbledore's office?" Mr. Potter suggested. They nodded. He hugged Sam tightly and looked at the boys. "Keep a close eye on your sister. I don't want anything else happening to her."

James and Sirius nodded. "We promise, Dad." Sirius said.

They walked off and Mr. and Mrs. Potter turned to Madam Pomfrey. "Is there a problem?" Mr. Potter asked.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "I know that Professor Dumbledore informed you that Professor McGonagall and I know about Samantha's gift." They nodded slowly. "Minerva and I have been researching dream seers so we can better understand what Samantha's going through."

"We appreciate that." Mrs. Potter said.

She nodded. "People with Samantha's special talent, as you know, are very sensitive to certain…"

"They have a tendency to go insane. We know." Mr. Potter said gruffly.

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "I do not mean to upset you." They nodded slowly. "After traumatic events, such as tonight, dream seers experience irrational behavior. If it is stopped right away then I see no reason as to why she would…go insane."

"What do you mean? How do you know and stop it?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"If she starts to behavior in an abnormal way. She might do or say something out of the ordinary."

Mr. Potter nodded. "How do we stop it?"

She sighed again. "You can stop it by sending her back to St. Mungo's. They will be able to help her more than I could here."

Mrs. Potter paled. "She will have to be hospitalized again? Samantha would never agree to it."

"I believe it will be the only way to help her if she does begin to act irrationally." They sighed. "I know this news upsets you. Samantha is a very special young woman but it is the only way to help her."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. We will watch her closely. We appreciate your help." Mr. Potter muttered. She nodded and walked away. "I don't think I could take it if she was sent away again. She was miserable the last time."

"She said only if Sammy starts to act oddly. We don't have to worry about this tonight, Harold. Let's just meet the children and take them home. We will discuss this later." He nodded and they left for Professor Dumbledore's office.

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Remus walked up to his room slowly. He couldn't get the image of how they found Sam and Michael out of his mind. The things he said to her before the attack rang in his ears. If he would have just kept his mouth shut then this wouldn't have happened. He honestly couldn't understand why he said the things he did. He still loved her and he was upset when he saw Michael kiss her. If he would have been honest, he would have told her that he still felt butterflies in his stomach whenever he was with her too. When she said that she thought about getting back together with him, he never felt happier. When she said she hated him, he never felt worse. Remus felt like utter crap. He purposely used her fears again her because he knew it would hurt her. The way she looked when he lied about being with Hannah again tore him up. There was no excuse for what he said. She hated him and didn't want him near her ever again. The thought of losing her for good broke his heart. Remus could freely admit that Sam was the only girl he had ever loved. Despite their problems and the obstacles they had to go through during their relationship, they had still been close. They still loved each other after everything that happened between them and he screwed that up over pointless jealousy. She had wanted him back and in a matter of moments, he completely ruined any chance of getting her back. She didn't want him anymore. He felt that maybe there was still a chance to get back on her good side after some time. He really hoped that there was still a chance. Sam was one of his best friends. Remus never felt closer to any other girl, with the exception of Lily.

Remus walked into his room and sighed. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. It was weird for him to be completely alone in his room. He was used to hearing snores coming from all around the room. He changed into his pajamas and got into bed. Remus lowered his head onto his pillow but quickly sat up when he felt something small and cold. His hearts stopped when he saw what was placed on his pillow. Remus saw the shirt he gave to Sam to wear to sleep resting on the pillow. On top of the shirt was something silver. He cautiously picked it up and sighed. Remus fingered the locket carefully and sighed. He sat up for what felt like hours and looked at the locket. He remembered the night he gave it to her. Remus remembered the look of shock and happiness on her face when she opened the box and saw it. Sam was practically jumping up and down in her seat when he placed it on her neck. He knew that she was still having problems with his cheating on her but for a moment, it felt like her pain over his betrayal and her silent but ever present anguish melted away in this particular moment. It was one of the best and worst nights of his life. She said she would always love him and wanted him to be happy. Sam broke his heart when she broke up with him but he knew it was coming. Remus, for some reason that he honestly couldn't remember, wanted to try and be with Hannah and she let him go so he could. He knew that Sam loved him and stayed with him to salvage what they had but knew in her heart that it was time to let go.

Remus remembered how she cried when they broke up but kept on a brave face for him. Sam didn't want him to feel guilty about what he did but he still felt guilty. She loved him with everything she had and his stupidity ended the best relationship he ever had. Sam meant so much to him but when she told him about the possibility of being pregnant, he panicked and lost her. She needed him and he didn't deliver. She needed his strength but he only gave her weakness. He regretted breaking her heart even now. She trusted him and he destroyed it like it meant nothing to him when, in reality, it meant everything to him.

He held the locket up and rested his forehead against it. It felt cool against his skin. He sighed once more. Remus wished more than anything to go back to his fifth year and change what happened after he saw Sirius kiss her. He should have listened to her. He should never have pretended to be with Hannah. He should have had more faith in her. He would find himself awake at night, even when he was with Hannah, and wonder what would have happened if he would have just listened to her. He wondered if they would have still been together and if they would still be happy and in love today. She had and still was a big part of his life. Sam wasn't only the first and only girl he loved. She, besides the other Marauders and Lily, was his best friend. They would tell each other everything and trusted each other with their secrets. He had betrayed that. Before tonight, she would have done anything and everything for him but he ruined all that. Sam proved that much throughout their entire relationship even before they started going out. She proved that again when she threatened Hannah after she broke up with him. He was surprised and flattered by what she did. She had shown him that no matter what she still loved him.

Remus let the locket fall down his face and land in his lap. He was overwhelmed by his feelings. What she said to him that night filled his head. His heart and chest felt like they were about to explode with grief and remorse. If only he would have kept his mouth shut and his feelings in check, they would still be friends and possibly be back together. He picked up the locket again and clutched it tightly. He read the inscription and tears filled his eyes. He really did love her with all his heart. He knew he would never get over her. Remus knew that there was a chance that he would love someone else as much or maybe even more than her one day, just like she said when she broke up with him, but for now, she was his everything. Before he ruined everything, she had loved him. He stared at the locket closely but refused to open it. He didn't think he could take to see the pictures he knew that were inside. He knew it would only make him feel worse.

He stared at it for a long time. An overwhelming urge to throw it against the wall came over him but he fought against it. She would want it back one day. He knew that for sure, or he hoped that would happen with all his heart. Remus' grip on the locket tightened and he began to cry. He had lost her. She loved him and he had lost her for real this time. He thought back to their entire time together, as friends and as lovers, and felt a sense of dread wash over him. She had loved him then.

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Sirius, James, and Sam entered the living room after flooing from Professor Dumbledore's office. Their parents stayed behind to speak privately with him. They stood awkwardly in the complete silence. They didn't know what to do or say. James coughed and they looked at him. He sighed. He looked at Sam closely. Once they left the hospital wing, her smile faded and she grew silent. The only time she spoke was before they left for Dumbledore's office. She had a shirt in her hand and took the locket she always wore off and said she left something in their room. She came back down, minus the shirt and locket, and they left. James inched closer to her and she stared at him. James groaned before he lightly hugged her. He felt a sense of relief when she sunk into his arms. He didn't have a chance to do this while they were in the hospital wing. There were too many people around and they kept moving her around to talk to other people. "I thought I told you that you weren't allowed to scare me ever again?" He asked.

Sam held onto him tightly and lightly laughed. "I tried not to, Jimmybean."

"I'll never forgive myself for not being there to protect you from that monster. What he did to you…what he tried to do to you…I should have gone after you sooner."

She sniffed. "You didn't know what was going to happen. It's not your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself." She whispered.

He held her face in his hands. "This wasn't your fault either. You didn't deserve this. Do you understand me, Samantha?"

Her chin trembled as she nodded quickly. "I understand."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter entered the room and sighed sadly when they saw James and Sam hugging. They wrapped their arms around their children and pulled Sirius into the hug. Sirius was behind Sam and rested his forehead on her shoulder. "We want you to know that we love you three so much. You make us proud to be your parents." Mrs. Potter said while obviously trying to hold back her tears.

"After the events of the last month and a half, I want you all to write home more often. I want you to be more careful with who you choose to be friends with." They nodded quickly. "I want you boys to look out for Sammy."

The boys nodded. "Daddy, I promise to be more careful. You don't have to worry about me. They don't have to waste their time looking out for me." Sam muttered into James' shoulder.

Mr. Potter tightened his hold around his family. "Sammy, you could have died tonight. Something even worse could have happened to you. We almost lost you. I would feel better if they kept a close eye on you."

Sirius sighed. "We'll look after her, Dad." Sam turned her head slightly and glared at him. "We don't want anything else to happen to you, Sammy."

They stood like that for a little while longer before Sam started to pull away. James looked at her with concern. "Are you alright, Sammy?"

Sam looked at her family and slightly smiled. "I-I'm fine. I just wanted to take a shower. I want to get the blood off of me before I went to bed. I feel like I could sleep for years."

They nodded slowly. "That's a very good idea, sweetheart." Mrs. Potter said.

Mr. Potter smiled. "You go on upstairs, Sammy. I'll bring your things up to your room."

"I can do that, Daddy."

"I want to do it." He hugged her. "I like to take care of my little girl."

She nodded. "Ok, thank you."

Sam went upstairs and Mr. and Mrs. Potter gathered her things and followed. Sirius went over to his trunk and was about to leave but stopped when James spoke. "It was you, wasn't it?"

Sirius turned around slowly. "What was me?"

James stared at him closely. "I saw you talking to him before the attack. I saw him get angry as you spoke to him. What did you say to him that caused them to be attacked?"

He had a pained expression on his face. "I never meant for this to happen."

"Tell me what you said to him, Padfoot."

Sirius slowly sat down on the sofa and James sat in the armchair across from him. "When she was dancing with Michael…after Monica said that I had no say in who Sam went out with…Snape was staring at her and I was angry that Sam would rather dance with Michael than come back over to us." James rolled his eyes. "I saw her wave at him and I thought it would be funny to mess with him a little."

He sighed. "As much as I am loving the prologue, get to the damn point already, Sirius."

"I was just messing with him. I asked why he thought he had a chance with her. He said that he did things with her, that she let him do things to her." James stifled a groan. "I didn't believe him but he said when she hated me that she would have done anything to make me suffer, even be with him."

James nodded slowly. "That's true."

"I said that it was all an act to her. I told him we had a good laugh over it. I said that it didn't mean anything to her and that she really wasn't his friend."

"That was stupid." Sirius nodded. "How was the prank brought up?"

Sirius sighed. "After he told me about what happened between them, I was laughing at him before he mentioned it, he said that I stopped laughing because I knew what he said was true. I told him when I want a good laugh I think about the prank last year. I told him it was a shame that you saved him life because it would be a better world without him in it." James sighed. "Prongs, I swear that I didn't say she was a part of the prank. I never even mentioned her when I was talking about it."

James nodded slowly. "I believe you, Padfoot." Sirius sighed in relief. "That prank…and what happened tonight was entirely pointless." He sighed. "She was his friend…he didn't deserve it…he tried to kill her."

Sirius looked down at the ground. "I honestly didn't think he would hurt her like that. If I didn't say anything to him, Michael and Sam wouldn't have had to go through this."

"If Moony wasn't an ass and didn't hurt her, she wouldn't have run off."

"That was partially my fault too." James glared at him. "I snuck in some fire whiskey so I could bare being around Sarah. I gave some to Moony and we kept talking about how we wanted Sam back but she was too busy dancing with everyone else and flirting with Michael. We were annoyed by that damn healer showing up and Snape trying to kiss her to piss us off. So, it was technically my fault that he said all that to her."

"I realize that you two care for my sister a lot but you also know how to destroy her. Moony becomes a jealous ass whenever…the day ends in 'y' but even more so when he drinks. You know this. Did you give it to him so that he would be a jerk to her and you would look better?"

He shook his head. "Even I wouldn't do that. I know I can be a real dick and be possessive as hell when it comes to Sam but I wouldn't do that to Moony. As much as we may try and compete for her, we know that we do love her. We wouldn't try and sabotage each other like that…even though he did sabotage me with that lie he told her but I know he was just angry. I can forgive him."

"That's very big of you."

Sirius lightly laughed. "I know." James rolled his eyes and laughed. "You saw the way he looked when we were at the hospital wing. He was completely destroyed. He thinks it's his fault that this happened to them when it was really mine."

James sighed and sat back into the armchair. "Look, you and Moony acted like gits. He shouldn't have said what he did to her and you shouldn't have broken up with her the way you did and you shouldn't have given Moony fire whiskey and you shouldn't have gone over to Snape. Talking to him is a waste of time but it's not your fault. You didn't know he would do what he did."

"Are we still ok?"

He slightly smiled. "We're good. We're best mates. If I didn't stop talking to you after I found out what happened between you and Sam, why would I now?" Sirius smiled in response. "Do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Try not to hurt her again. Tell her the truth about what happened tonight. Tell her the truth about everything."

"She'll hate me."

He shook his head. "No, she won't. She will, obviously, be upset when she learns why you really broke up with her and about what you said to Snape but she won't hate you." Sirius sighed sadly. "Padfoot, she needs to know the truth. She needs to hear the whole truth from you. You have to tell her before anything happens."

"I don't know if I can."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you want her back?"

"Yes."

"For how long this time?"

Sirius sighed and blushed. "I want her back forever." James stared at him closely. "You know how when you first saw Lily and knew she was the one and no one else was good enough?" James nodded. "Sure, you dated and fooled around with other girls but Lily was and always will be the only one for you?"

"Yeah, that's how it was for me. What's your point?"

"When I first met Sam…I felt the same way about her that you felt about Lily. I just thought I was crazy. I didn't even know her but I was completely floored when I first saw her."

James lightly laughed. "You hid it well."

Sirius smiled and rolled his eyes. "I'm a Black. We don't reveal our feelings because they are weaknesses that could be used against us."

"Your old family is full of prats."

"That's true. The whole lot of them, except my uncle and Andromeda, are complete prats."

"If you always felt the same way about her, why didn't you ever say anything?"

He shrugged. "We became friends and with the way you talked about her, I started thinking of her as a little sister of my very own even though I still thought she was cute. I ignored my feelings for her because I thought it was just because I didn't want any guys near her that would hurt or violate her. It was during the end of our fifth year when I finally woke up. Over the summer, my feelings just got worse. I did almost anything to get her attention and butted in when ever Remus and she were alone. I was tempted to meddle in their relationship again but I didn't want to see her hurt again because of me."

James sighed. "You really do confuse me sometimes, Padfoot." He shrugged again. "If you tell her the truth about everything, she will forgive you. If you wait and she hears it from someone else, you won't be so lucky."

Sirius sighed in defeat. "You're right. I know you're right. It's going to be hard because I already can feel the bruises I'll get when she kicks my ass for this." James laughed and nodded. "When do you think I should tell her?"

"Obviously, tonight wouldn't be the best time. I can't tell you when but I can tell you that it should be soon. You don't want to wait too long because she will be even more angry." Sirius nodded and stood up when James did. He pulled him into a tight hug and they stood that way for a few moments. They pulled apart and James smacked him upside his head. "I love you, mate. No matter what, we're brothers."

Sirius smirked and smacked the side of his head. "I love you too, Prongs." They collected their things and went to bed.

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Sirius couldn't sleep at all that night. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Sam's unconscious body covered in blood. He groaned lightly when he rolled out of bed. He closed the door behind him as quietly as possible and was about to walk downstairs when he heard a noise coming from Sam's room. He cautiously walked to the door and pressed his ear against it. He lightly sighed when he heard her muffled cries. Sirius gently knocked on the door before walking in. Sam's back was to him as she sat on the side of her bed and cried. He sat down next to her and moved her pillows out from underneath him. He touched her arm but she pulled away. "I just want you to comfort you, Sammy."

Sam looked at him in disbelief. "I don't believe you." She whispered. "I'm just a toy that you and Remus enjoy to play with when you're bored. You don't really care about me. I bet you're disappointed that he didn't kill me."

Sirius was surprised as hell by her cold tone of voice. "How can you think that? Sammy, you aren't a toy to me or Remus. I understand why you believe that. We haven't given you any reason to trust how we feel about you, but if you died, I would be inconsolable. When I saw you on the ground, covered in blood and unconscious-"

"I don't want to talk about that."

He sighed. "I just…I'm happy that you're safe."

She glared at him. "Why?" He looked at her closely. "Is this another game you're playing with me?" He stared at her like she was crazy. "All you and Remus ever do is play games with me. You get what you want from me and throw me away when you're done. I'm something to entertain you when you're bored."

Sirius shook his head. "That's not true, Sammy. You aren't a toy to us." She shrugged. He stood up and sighed. "It was a mistake coming in here. I should have waited to talk to you."

He was at the door when her voice stopped him. "It was all my fault, wasn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I deserved what happened tonight, didn't I? If I was never friends with him then this never would have happened."

Sirius was at her side in seconds. She began to cry harder than before and he cautiously put his arms around her. "You didn't deserve this, Sammy. No one thinks that you did. What he did and tried to do to you is disgusting. He is disgusting. Why would you think you deserved this?"

Sam sighed. "The way I acted after we broke up and the way I acted tonight…I did deserve it."

"Sam, you made mistakes. If I didn't treat you like crap and break your heart then you wouldn't have acted that way. You were fine tonight. You danced and had fun with your friends. There's nothing wrong with that."

She wiped away her tears. "If I didn't always whore myself around, Remus wouldn't have been so angry with me. I wouldn't have found out that you were just using me to make the girl you love jealous."

Sirius shook his head and held her closer to him. "I wasn't using you." She looked at him closely. "It was a show for you."

"I don't understand."

He nervously smiled. "I wanted you to realize…" She cried and groaned. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "Before you say anything, you have to know…what I'm about to tell you…you won't…"

"You can tell me anything, Sammy."

"I lied to everyone."

He looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Severus and I haven't just kissed." He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. She told him everything that happened between them and he felt sick to his stomach. She would have never done that with Severus if he didn't break up with her. "When I returned from St. Mungo's, we decided to just be friends."

He felt like he was in pain. "D-Did you two sleep together?"

"No, of course not." He sighed in relief. She looked at him anxiously. "You think I'm disgusting, don't you? This just proved to you what a big whore I really am didn't it?"

Sirius shook his head quickly. "I don't think any such thing. You aren't disgusting and are the farthest thing from a whore."

"Seeing me cry makes you realize how truly weak I am, right?"

He held her face in his hands. "Samantha, you aren't weak. It's ok to cry. I would cry too if this happened to me. You made a mistake, that's true. You were seeking comfort because you were upset and hurt because I broke up with you. I do have to question your sanity for choosing to do those things with Snape though." She lightly laughed. He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You are a strong and brave woman. I'm honored to be your friend."

She hugged him tightly. "I love you, Sirius." He smiled brightly. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything you want, Sammy."

"Lie to me."

He looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean 'lie to you'?"

Sam pulled him closer to her. "I want to feel something besides what I'm feeling right now. I want to feel good again." She tangled her hands in his hair and kissed him deeply. "No matter what I ask you, just lie to me."

"I don't understand but I want to make you feel better."

She kissed him again. "Do you want me, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded. "Y-Yes, I do."

She smiled and moved closer to him. "Do you need me, Sirius?" He nodded quickly. She kissed him slowly. "Do you love me, Sirius?"

He gulped. "Y-Yes, I do love you, Sam."

Sam held his face in her hands and kissed him softly. "Thank you for lying to me, Sirius. I really needed that." Before he could reply, she started aggressively kissing him. She moved his hands up her thighs but quickly started rubbing his shoulders. He gently massaged the back of her thighs and pulled her onto his lap. He gripped her hips and felt her body start to shake. His head started to clear and pulled his head away slightly. She looked at him curiously. "What's the matter? Why'd you stop?"

Sirius sighed and fell back on the bed. She put her hands on either side of his head and leaned over him. "You have no idea how much I want to be with you again."

She smirked. "I have a vague idea."

He smiled and rolled his eyes. He caressed her cheek and slid his hands down her body until they rested on her hips. "I want to be with you again more than anything…I can't believe I'm about to say this, but we shouldn't do this tonight. I want our time together to be special. I want you to want this not because you need comfort but because you want to truly be with me again."

She kissed him lightly on the lips and smiled. "I want to be with you again, Sirius." He smiled. "You're right. Tonight isn't the night for this."

Sirius leaned up and kissed her lightly. "We will be together again, Sam." She nodded and smiled. "I think it's time that I go back to my room. After all this kissing we've done, I need some _alone_ time."

Sam laughed and blushed. "You're such a git!" Sirius laughed. "Can you stay with me?"

"I thought we agreed…?"

"We don't have to do anything. I just need you to stay with me tonight. I know I'd sleep better with you here with me. You don't have to stay the whole night if you don't want to. You can leave once I go to sleep."

He smiled. "I'll stay the night, Sammy." She rolled off of him and they got under the covers. He held her tightly and she snuggled closer to him. He kissed her. "I'll protect you from the bad dreams. You don't have to worry about anything tonight, Sammy. I'm here for you."

She smiled and kissed him deeply. "Thank you, Sirius. This means a lot to me." He smiled. "I love you, Sirius." He kissed her again and they fell asleep.


	43. Chapter 42: Last Chance

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating. I wasn't allowed online(again!) and Microsoft Word decided to delete some of my files (this chapter) and I had to retype it. It was such a bitch! I'm sorry if the last chapter confused anyone. Let me try to explain. Sam was upset over the attack and wanted to forget about it for a brief moment. Sirius wants her back and to feel better and wants to do anything to make her feel good again. Sam still believes that he is in love with some else and not her. She still thinks that he also loves that slu-Sarah. She knows that he still wants her sexually but she thinks that that's all he wants from her. She thinks this is a perfect opportunity to feel good again. They both get what they want (this is her reasoning). She gets to feel good again and he gets to feel her again. The lie to me part…once again, she thinks he never loved her so when she says lie to me…she just wants to believe that he loves her and that he wants her. I hope that makes sense. I remember replying to someone about this and I confused myself trying to explain it. Sorry about that…whoever I did that too. I have been reading other stories and I realized that my story really sucks. I really want to finish it because I'm so dedicated to actually finishing a story (I haven't done that in close to seven years) and I think about this story every second of the day, when I should be concentrating on work or school. I don't know what I'm saying really. I kind of hate this story while I love writing it. Have I confused you again? Well, I have confused myself as well. I want to finish it but I also want a break from it. Don't worry, to the people that read and review, I will finish it. I'm determined to finish this story. I also have so many story ideas that have hit me recently. I want to finish this story so I can try and write the other ideas that I have. I have a couple of one shots that I'm thinking about and that Ginny/Sirius story. I'll keep you posted about it. I promise that I will continue to write this story and finish it. I promise I will. Now, enough of my rambling, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The next couple of chapters will confuse you but they do make some sort of sense in the end, I promise! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! Hopefully, I will be able to explain anything you need help with. Please, read and review. I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 42: Last Chance.

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Sam walked down the hallway with Alice and Mary. They were on their way to the library to meet Lilac and Patty. Mary groaned loudly. "I honestly can't believe how much work they've already given us and it's only November! I had no idea that our third year would be this hard!"

Alice nodded. "I know what you mean! They are acting like it's our O.W.L. year or something! We've got two years before we have to worry about all that!"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "It's a lot of work but we honestly don't have it so bad. Remus was just telling me how all of the Professors keep piling on the work. It took him an extra three hours to finish his homework last night."

They smirked. "Oh really?" They said in unison.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, really. He is completely swamped with work. I feel bad but he seems not to be bothered by it. He makes time for his homework and for having fun. You've just got to admire that about him."

"You do realize that that is the twelfth time you've mentioned him in the last ten minutes." Sam blushed. "Is there something going on between the two of you?" Mary asked with a smile.

Sam's blush grew and they giggled. "Sam and Remus sitting in a tree…" Alice sang.

"We're just friends! There's nothing going on between us."

They rolled their eyes. "Sam, he's a great guy! He is definitely a lot better than that git Patrick you went out with."

Sam bit her lip. "Remus is pretty amazing." They nodded. She sighed happily. "But he is my brother's best friend and we are just friends."

They smiled when they saw Remus walking towards them. They laughed when Sam blushed at the sight of him. "Hello ladies." They smiled brightly at him. Remus and Sam blushed at each other. "Sam, I was wondering if I could talk to you in private."

Her heart raced at the sight of him. He looked so good at that moment that she felt her knees go weak. "Sam, wipe your mouth." Alice said.

Mary laughed. "Sweetie, you're drooling." She glared at them. "Why do you need to talk to Sam in private, Remus?"

Remus smiled. He found it very amusing to watch Sam at that moment. She was blushing furiously and biting her lip in a nervous manner. "I-I wanted to talk to her about…her Transfigurations homework! She asked me to help her tonight."

Alice smirked. "Sam is at the top of our class in Transfigurations and Charms. Why would she need help with her homework?"

Sam and Remus shared a smile and a blush. "I just need him to double check my essay. He's a really great writer."

They rolled their eyes and smiled. "That's really believable, Sammy." Alice said with a sly smile. "We'll see you in the library. Have fun you two."

Remus and Sam laughed at their retreating forms. They hugged when Alice and Mary turned the corner. "That was a smooth cover, Moony."

"I try, Sammy." They looked around and smiled when they saw that they were alone. He kissed her deeply. She sighed. "I've wanted to do that all day."

Sam blushed. "I've wanted you to do that all day." He smiled and blushed. "It was hard to concentrate all day. All I could think about is you."

They kissed again but stopped short when they heard laughter. Remus looked behind him and saw James and Sirius turning the corner. He ushered her into the broom closet and closed the door. "That was close." He muttered. She nodded. They hugged each other and kissed. He pushed her up against the wall and leaned into her. "You taste like strawberries." He whispered in her ear.

She giggled. "That's my lip gloss." He smiled before kissing her again. He trailed kisses down her neck and she moaned lightly. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought him closer. Remus' hands slid down her body and tried to sneak up her skirt. She stopped him. "Remus…?"

"What's the matter?"

She looked away from him but he made her look at him. "I-I've never done that before. We aren't even really together yet. I think we should wait before we do that. I think…I know I won't do that with anyone unless I've been dating them for a while."

He sighed and smiled. "I understand, Sammy. I can wait to be with you like that. I don't want to screw up what we have and will have. I love you, Sammy. If you want to wait then we'll wait."

Sam caressed his cheek. "Do you really mean that, Remus?" He smiled and nodded. "I love you too, Remus." He blushed. "You really are a great guy. I'm so lucky to have found you." They kissed.

The door opened and Sam ducked behind some boxes. Sirius and James peeked their heads through the door and smirked. "I told you it was him, Prongs."

James laughed. "You were right, Padfoot." Remus looked at them, nervously. "What are you doing in here, Moony?"

Remus stuttered. Sirius laughed. "I think the question is who is he doing in here, Prongs." They laughed. "I saw you sneak in here with some small brunette. From what I saw, she is really cute."

Sam stifled her laughter. Remus glanced at her and smiled at his friends. "Do you need something?"

They opened the door wider and leaned against the door frame. "Who do you have in here, Remus?" James asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Sirius smirked. "And why haven't you told us about her?"

He groaned. "Can you please leave?" They shook their heads and smiled. "I promise we will talk about this later. Can you please leave?"

They nodded reluctantly. "Remember to wrap your tool, Moony." Sirius said with a wink.

Remus and Sam rolled their eyes. James pretended to close the door behind them and looked through the crack. Sam came out from behind the boxes and sighed. "That was close." She said. Remus smiled and nodded. James' eyes widened in surprise and closed the door. They kissed deeply. "Now, where were we?"

He smiled when she pulled him closer. He pushed her against the wall and held her tightly. He greedily sucked on her neck and slid his hands up her skirt. She tried to stop him. "Why are you doing that?"

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "I already told you that I wasn't ready for that. We agreed to wait."

Remus kissed her with force. "You don't want me to stop, Samantha. Girls like you like to be grabbed at."

She fought against him as he pushed up her skirt. "Remus, don't do this! Please, don't do this!" He gripped her thighs tightly and she whimpered as she tried to push away his hands. "Stop it! You're hurting me, Remus!" He bit her neck and she yelped. "I'll scream if you don't stop!"

He put his hand over her mouth. "You want this, Samantha. Don't fight it. You're just making this harder for yourself."

Her eyes closed as tears streamed down her face. She kept fighting against him. Her eyes opened and she gasped. Severus was glaring and smirking at her. "Don't fight this, Samantha. You know you deserve this." She screamed.

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Remus woke up with a start. He was drenched in sweat and he was breathing heavily. That dream scared the hell out of him. The dream started out just fine but soon turned horribly wrong. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. They used to sneak around just to be alone so that no one would find out about them before they were ready. They had a good laugh over Sirius and James almost finding them together in the broom closet. They became more careful after that incident.

He didn't know why but he had a feeling that he knew why the dream turned out completely different from his memory. When he grabbed at her and she screamed, it terrified him. He turned into Severus and she was terrified of him. He sat up in his bed and ran his hands over his face roughly. He groaned.

There was a knock on his door and Lily peeked her head through. "Good morning, sleepyhead." She said with a smile. She saw the look on his face and sighed. She walked over to him and sat down next to him. "What's the matter?"

Remus looked at her with pathetic eyes. "I had a bad dream."

"What was the dream about?" He sighed and told her everything. Lily sighed. "Remus, what happened last night wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that? What I said and how I acted caused her to run away. Because of me, she ran right into him. She was attacked because I acted like a drunken ass!"

Lily hugged him. "You did act like an ass. What you said to her was cruel. You knew it would upset her." He nodded. "But I know you, Remus. I know you didn't mean those things you said. You made a mistake. All she needs is time. Sam will forgive you."

Remus sighed. "I don't know if I can believe that." Lily sighed. "She said she hated me, Lily. She doesn't want me anywhere near her again."

"She didn't mean it. Give it time, Remus."

"I love her more than anything, Lily. I've hurt her too many times. She won't forgive me."

Lily hugged him again. "I know her, Remus. She is just upset. She will forgive you." He shrugged. "I'll be seeing her over the holiday. I will try and work on her. I'll make her see that you are sorry for what you said."

"She blames me for the attack."

"No, she doesn't! She blames herself! This was all Severus' fault! He betrayed her and tried to kill her! She doesn't blame you!"

Remus sighed. "I hope you're right, Lily." She smiled. "She said she wanted to get back together with me but wasn't sure if I wanted the same thing."

"Sam loves you, Remus. She will come around eventually."

"I had so many chances with her but I screwed it up every time."

She shrugged. "You're human. We make mistakes." He nodded slowly. "Enough of this! We have a train to catch. Hurry up and get ready." He nodded. "Everything will work out."

He smiled slightly. "Thanks for that, Lily."

She smiled and hugged him briefly. "Anytime Remus." She looked at her watch and gasped. "You better hurry! We're going to miss the train if we don't leave soon." He nodded and she left.

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James yawned as he walked out of his room. He knocked on Sam's door lightly. He opened the door carefully so he wouldn't disturb her if she was still asleep. He crept into the room and almost fell to the floor. Sam was face down on her bed. Sirius had his arm lying casually across her back and his head was resting inches away from hers. Sirius was shirtless but James knew that he rarely wore one to sleep. He saw Sam's bare back and almost had a stroke. He walked over to them and she shifted in her sleep. The sheet move and he let out a sigh of relief. The straps to her shirt fell down her arms. Thankfully for his sanity and eyesight, she was still completely dressed. Sirius snuggled closer to her before rolling onto his back. James rolled his eyes and groaned when he saw just how excited Sirius was about spending the night with his baby sister. He walked over to him and smacked him on the side of his head. Sirius swatted at him in his sleep and let out a loud snore. James rolled his eyes and smacked his head again. Sirius groaned. "What's with you Potters and hitting me awake?" He grumbled when he saw James.

"What is it about my sister that makes all my friends want to sleep with her?"

Sirius grinned and James' eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Don't worry, mate. Even I'm not that stupid to answer that question honestly."

James rolled his eyes. "I think I know the reason. You explained it to me when you rolled over."

Sirius looked down and let out a nervous laugh. "Well, isn't this just great? I told her I had to leave for some _alone_ time but she said she needed me to stay." James shook his head. "At least I know that I've had good dreams last night even if I can't remember them."

He sighed. "You really are a git sometimes." Sirius shrugged and let out a light laugh. "Why are you in here anyway? I thought I told you not to tell her last night."

He nodded. "I know. I couldn't sleep last night and was on my way downstairs when I heard her crying. I came in and we…uh…talked for a bit. She asked me to stay because she didn't want to have any bad dreams."

James nodded slowly. "Did she…?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, she didn't."

"That's good. I'm going downstairs to get some breakfast. Wake her up and come down."

Sirius rolled onto his side and smiled when he left. He moved closer to her and held her tightly. He moved her hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck. She sighed. "Wakey, wakey, Sammy." She let out a muffled groan. He nibbled on her bare shoulder and purposely didn't look at the bruises and cuts on her back. "Sammy, wake up. It's time for breakfast."

"I don't want to." She grumbled. "Let me sleep, Baby."

He smiled when she called him that. He pulled her to him. She let out a sleepy laugh as her back pressed into his chest. He leaned his body into hers and she laughed again. He kissed her neck and she sighed. "Come on, Baby. Wake up for me, Sammy." He started to nibble her ear. "Don't you want to wake up?" She shook her head and giggled. He smiled. "Do you want us to spend the whole day in bed?"

Sam rolled over and smiled. "I'd love to but I don't think my parents would like that."

Sirius laughed. "That is true." He kissed her collar bone. "We have to get up. I promised your brother that we would go to breakfast."

Her eyes widened. "J-James was in here?"

He nodded casually. "Yes, he was. Don't worry, Sammy. He wasn't upset to see me here with you. He saw that our clothes were still on."

She sighed in relief. "That's good." She smiled at him. "Do I really have to wake up?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, you do."

"Why?"

"Because I said so." She laughed and rolled her eyes. "If we get up now, we can spend the whole day together." He kissed her lightly. "There's a lot we could catch up on." He winked at her.

Sam laughed. "As much as I would love to do that, I can't." He pouted. "I promised Michael that I would visit him. I hate the fact that he has to stay there over holiday because of me."

Sirius sighed. "Sam, he's there because he tried to protect you."

"It sounds like you are actually starting to like him."

He shrugged. "I guess I am." She smiled brightly. "Don't get me wrong, I wanted to hit him when he kept kissing you but he saved your life. He kept you safe and brought you back to me. For that, I'm eternally grateful to him."

She smiled. "Michael really is a great guy. He is one of my best friends." He nodded. "I hated it when none of you but the girls would accept him. You never gave him a chance."

"When we first met him, he was all over you. That lost him his chance."

Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm just saying that the girls, Frank, and Kevin were the only ones to really give him a chance. James gave him fleeting moments of acceptance and Chris was already his best friend. You and Remus were the only ones that constantly hated him."

"When a guy is all over another guy's girlfriend, friendship isn't really an option."

"Michael has always been a good friend to me even when I didn't deserve it. I'm in his debt for life. I can't help but love him. He's a great guy."

Sirius' eyes widened. "Y-You love him?" She nodded. "Then why were you trying to sleep with me last night?"

"I love him like a friend, Sirius. I love him like I love Chris or Frank."

He sighed in relief. "Then why were you blushing every time he looked at you and why did you snog him last night?"

She blushed. "You saw him last night! He looked hot!" He groaned. She smiled. "I also remember snogging someone else." She winked at him.

Sirius laughed lightly. "Yes, I do remember that." He kissed her. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"You don't have to. You're already going there for dessert after Christmas dinner with us."

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" She nodded. "If that's what you want, I won't go."

Sam smiled when he kissed her. "You can spend the day with James."

He nodded. "Let's go downstairs. I'm starving!"

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James walked into the kitchen and sighed when he saw his mother busy cooking. He saw his father sitting in the dinning room reading the morning paper. He walked over to his mother and smiled slightly. Mrs. Potter looked over her shoulder and smiled apprehensively. "Good morning, James."

He nodded at her. She sighed in defeat. She went back to preparing breakfast but stopped when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Mrs. Potter turned around and stared at her son. James had a pained expression on his face as he looked at his mum. He pulled her into a tight hug. She was surprised by this but recovered quickly. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Mum…Mama…" She had tears in her eyes when she looked at him. "I'm sorry that I've been acting like such a prat, Mama. I really do love you."

Mrs. Potter smiled. "I love you too, James." He smiled. "I should have told you about Samantha. I just didn't really understand it myself. I didn't know what it truly meant…I should have told you."

He had tears in his eyes. Mr. Potter lowered his paper and smiled at the sight of them. "You didn't understand. I get that now. I shouldn't have said what I did. I shouldn't have acted that way towards you." He sighed. "Can you forgive me, Mama?"

"Of course I can, Baby." She held him tightly. "Can you forgive me for not saying anything sooner?"

"I already have, Mama." He pulled away from her and smiled. "Do you need any help?"

She nodded. "Bring these plates to the table for me, sweetheart." He nodded. "I've already asked your father but he seems to have grown deaf all of a sudden." She said loudly. Mr. Potter coughed and shook the paper as he straightened in his seat. She rolled her eyes. "He can be such a git!"

"Watch your language in front of the boy, Evelyn. You might corrupt his mind." Mr. Potter said. James laughed.

Mrs. Potter walked into the dinning room and smirked at her husband. "I see you've regained your hearing, dear."

He shifted uncomfortably as James sat down at the table. "I'm sorry, what was that, dear?" She rolled her eyes.

Sam and Sirius walked in and smiled. Sam hit James on the head before hugging her father. "Mum, did you see what that brat just did?" James exclaimed.

Mrs. Potter smiled as she looked up. "What did she do? By the way, don't call your sister a brat."

James rolled his eyes when Sam smirked at him. Sirius sat next to her and pulled her chair right next to his and stifled a laugh. "How could I forget? Saint Sammy can do no wrong." James grumbled.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a git, Jimmybean. I barely slapped you."

"Don't call your brother a git, Samantha." Mr. Potter said.

"I forgot that the golden son could do no wrong." She mumbled.

Sirius laughed as he passed her the toast. "Would you like some toast, my dear?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, I would. Thank you, sweetheart." The others stared at them in amusement. "Would you like some eggs?" He nodded and kissed her cheek as she passed him the plate. She blushed. She rested her head on his shoulder as she ate her toast. "What are you and James going to do today?"

James looked up. "We're hanging out today?" Sirius nodded. "I'm surprised by that. With the way you two are acting, I would have thought you would be looking for a house with a white picket fence."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter laughed while Sam and Sirius rolled their eyes. "What are you doing today, Sammy?" Mr. Potter asked.

Sam smiled and blushed when Sirius wrapped an arm around her. "I'm going to visit Michael, but first, I'm going to take a shower. I can't seem to get clean enough."

Sirius winked at her. "That sounds nice. I don't mind helping you get clean." He groaned when Mr. Potter hit him over the head with the paper and when James threw a piece of bacon at him. "Mum, did you see what they just did?" Sirius exclaimed.

Mrs. Potter smiled at him. "Don't hit or throw anything at Sirius." Mr. Potter and James grumbled in response. She smiled when Sirius kissed Sam's cheek again. "Are you two back together?"

"No, we're not." "Yes, we are."

James laughed and almost choked on his orange juice when they looked at each other in surprise. "It might actually help if you listen to each other when you speak." They threw toast at him. "What? I'm only stating a fact!"

Sirius rolled his eyes at him before looking at Sam. "We aren't back together?"

Sam shook her head slowly. "I didn't think we were."

"Why not?"

"Aren't you still with Sarah?"

The others stared at them with interest. Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "We…uh…broke up last night after…what happened."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

He shrugged. "I'm not. She just wasn't for me. You are."

Sam smiled before eyeing him closely. "Are you sure you want to get back together?"

"Of course I am!" He sighed. "I thought you did too after last night."

"What happened last night?" Mr. Potter grunted.

She rolled her eyes. "We just talked, Daddy." She looked at him. "Sirius, I'm not sure about this. What about what happened the last time we went out?"

Mrs. Potter looked at her daughter closely. "I thought you were getting back together with Remus."

"I thought you were going out with Michael? You kissed him before we left the hospital wing. Isn't that what Chris said?" Mr. Potter asked.

James smirked. Sam shifted uncomfortably when she noticed Sirius looking at her in surprise. "You were going to get back with Moony?" She sighed. "I thought you said Michael was just a friend?" Sirius glared at her.

Sam smiled awkwardly. "I think it's time for my shower." She got up to leave.

"Samantha-" He groaned. "What the hell is your middle name? It helps to know when we fight!"

James opened his mouth but closed it when he saw the look she was giving him. "James, we made a deal! You don't tell my middle name and I won't tell Lily yours."

"It's Eugenia." Mrs. Potter said.

Sirius let out a loud laugh while Sam gasped. "Mother, how could you?"

Mrs. Potter smiled. "You're father told me to."

Mr. Potter rolled his eyes. "How and when did I do that, dear?"

"You told me with your eyes just now."

"That is the biggest lie I've ever heard!" He said. "I'm very proud of you."

Sirius was still laughing. "Your middle name is Eugenia?"

Sam glared at him. "Shut up, Sirius Phineas!"

He stopped laughing quickly. "That was uncalled for, Samantha Eugenia!"

"If you ever tell anyone that, I will hurt you!"

He smiled. "It'd be worth it!" He groaned when she punched his arm. "Ok, maybe not."

She laughed. "I'm going to go take a shower now."

Sirius followed her. "Samantha, we aren't done talking about this yet!"

The others laughed. "They deserve each other." James said.

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Sirius waited outside the bathroom door. He followed Sam upstairs but she ran into the bathroom. The door opened and she gasped. She held her towel to her body and sighed. "I can't believe you waited out here."

He stared at her and followed her into her room. "We have to talk about this." She sighed again when he shut the door. "Were you really going to get back together with Remus?"

Sam shrugged. "I thought about it. Andrew told me to take some time to make sure it was what I really wanted. I'm glad I waited."

Sirius sat down on her bed in a huff. "I can't believe this."

She rolled her eyes. "What's the big deal?"

"You were going to get back together with Moony, you kissed Michael, and we almost slept together…that happened all in one night! That's the big deal!"

She glared at him. "Get out!"

He looked at her in surprise. "What?"

"Get the hell out of my room!" She growled as she yanked him by the arm to the door.

"Sam, what has gotten into you? Why do you want me to leave?"

Sam was fuming. He looked at her with innocent eyes and it made her mad as hell. "I want you to leave before you finish saying what I know you're going to say!"

Sirius was utterly confused. "What the bloody hell are you talking about? What was I going to say?"

"You were going to call me a whore again! I know what you were implying!" His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but shut it quickly when she slapped him. She opened the door and pushed him out. "Don't you dare touch me again!" She slammed the door in his face and locked it.

He stared at the door for a full minute in shock. He didn't understand what just happened. He started banging on the door. "Samantha, open up! This is ridiculous! Open the damn door!"

"Is there a problem in paradise, Padfoot?"

Sirius turned around and sighed when he saw James. "You're sister is completely mental! We were just talking and then all of a sudden, she slapped me and threw me out of the room and told me to never touch her again."

He eyed him closely. "What did you do or say to her?"

"I didn't do or say anything this time!" He sighed. "I just said that I couldn't believe that she wanted to get back together with Moony, kissed Michael, and…uh…kissed me all in one night. That's when she went completely nutters. She kicked me out of her room and said that I was going to call her a whore again! I swear I wasn't!"

James laughed and rolled his eyes. "You two really do deserve each other." Sirius glared at him. "You've called her that before so, it's understandable why she thought you were going to say it again." Sirius shrugged awkwardly in response. "I have yet to kick your ass for that, by the way."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "People in glasses houses shouldn't throw stones, mate." James sighed and nodded. "Can you please talk to her for me? Can you tell her that I don't think that about her at all?"

He sighed. "Fine, I'll talk to her." Sirius smiled. James banged on the door. "Sam, it's me. Open the door."

"Is _he_ out there with you?" She yelled.

"Yes, Sirius is with me. Just open the door, Sammy. I promise I will only come in." They heard the door unlock and James walked in and shut the door behind him. She was standing in front of the mirror getting ready. James sat down on her bed with a sigh. "Sam, what's going on?"

Sam groaned. "I know he told you!" He nodded. "He is the biggest git! I don't know why I put up with him!"

James laughed. "Sam, he wasn't going to say what you think. He is very upset right now."

She rolled her eyes. "He was implying-"

"No, he wasn't! I understand why you thought that but he wasn't even thinking it!"

"Why should I believe that? Sirius and Remus keep saying that I am one. You even called me one. How do I know for sure that he doesn't think it?"

He sighed. "We are the three biggest gits, ok? We didn't mean it. Please, just talk to him."

Sam sat down next to him. "I don't want to be hurt by him again, James. He broke my heart. He hurt me so deeply. I'm starting to get over it finally and now he decided that he wants me back? How do I know that I'm not just a rebound to him so he can get over his break up with Sarah? What about the girl he really loves? What if he just wants me back to make her jealous? What if she realizes she wants him while we are together and he leaves me again to be with her?"

James hugged her tightly. "I know he hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt again either but he does truly want you back. I can't answer your questions, only Sirius can. Talk to him, Sam." She sighed and nodded slowly. He smiled. "I'll go get him."

Sirius looked up when James walked out into the hall and shut the door. "Well, what happened?"

He sighed. "I love you very much but you really screwed her up."

He groaned. "I have no chance with her, do I?"

James shrugged. "Sam…she thinks that you are trying to use her to make the girl you really love jealous. She thinks she will just be a rebound for you. She doesn't want to be hurt by you again."

Sirius sighed again. "I love her, James. I made a big mistake breaking up with her. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."

"Talk to her, Sirius. Make her understand."

He nodded and walked through the door. She was standing in front of the window and he stood next to her. "Sammy, I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't going to call you a…you know. I really don't think that about you."

Sam nodded slowly but still refused to look at him. "Do you want me back because you really want me back or to make someone jealous?"

Sirius made her look at him. "Sam, I made a mistake." Her eyes widened. "I made a mistake by leaving you. I…regret everyday breaking your heart the way I did. I've missed you so much. I've only ever loved you, Sammy."

She looked at him closely. "Do you really mean that? You've said this to me before but you broke my heart. How can I trust you after everything?"

He hugged her tightly. "I need you, Sammy. I love you so much. When we were apart…even though I was with Sarah…I missed you so much. It hurt seeing you everyday but not being with you. I've been in love with you since before I've even met you. I was just too stupid to realize it. I was an ass when we were together and I'm sorry for that. Breaking your heart is my biggest regret. I love you so damn much, Samantha. Come back to me. I would do anything to be with you again. I need you. I want you. I love you. I really do love you, Sammy. Please, come back to me."

Sam had tears in her eyes. He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "I-I love you too, Sirius." He smiled. "What about the girl? The one Remus said you loved?"

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "I could kill him for saying that to you!" He sighed. "This mystery girl Lily mentioned was you! The only person I have ever loved is you! You are the only woman I want! I want my life to be with you! I know I've said this before and then broke your heart. I know you're scared to trust me again when I did such a great job of ruining it but you really are it for me! When I think about the future, I think of you! Sam, I need you so much. I was scared of how much I actually do need and love you but I'm not scared anymore! Samantha Eugenia Potter, will you come back to me? Will you give me another chance? Will you try and trust me again? Will you love me like you used to?"

She bit her lip. He looked at her with sad and pathetic eyes. She had a pained expression on her face. "Are you telling me the truth?" He nodded. "Are you hiding anything from me?" He shook his head awkwardly. "If you have any doubts, now is the time to tell me."

"I don't have anymore doubts."

Sam sighed. "Do you really want, need, _and_ love me, Sirius?" He smiled and nodded eagerly. She smiled slowly. "I love you too, Sirius. I'm willing to give you another chance." He cheered. "Just remember that this is the last chance. I won't go through what happened between us again." He nodded quickly. "If you have any doubts or are hiding something, you have to tell me right away. We have to be honest with one another. I'm tired of secrets and being lied to. I need to know that I can trust and depend on you."

"You can trust me, Sam. I won't lie to you, I promise!"

She nodded. He went to kiss her but she stopped him. "And if you cheat on me ever again, I'll hex your balls right off!" His eyes grew wide with fear and nodded. "I'm being serious! You and Remus both claimed to love me but cheated on me anyway. If you do it again, I'll never forgive you!"

Sirius smiled nervously. "I will never cheat on you again! I regretted doing that to you and I swear on my life that I will never do that again. I don't want to lose you or my balls." She laughed. "Will you come back to me?" She nodded. "Tell me you love me, Sammy."

"You tell me you love me first."

He smirked. "I love you with everything I have. I will love you beyond my death. I'm completely, totally, and crazy in love with you!"

Sam let out a loud laugh. "I love you too, Sirius."

Sirius was practically glowing. He kissed her. "You won't regret this, Sammy! I won't let you!" She smiled. "We will be together forever!"

"Sirius, let's just take this a day at a time, ok?"

He nodded. "Whatever you want, Sammy."

They kissed before walking out into the hall hand in hand. James smiled at them. "I see you two have worked everything out."

Sirius smiled and wrapped his arms around her. "Yes, we did."

Sam blushed when he kissed her cheek. "We are officially back together."

He laughed. "It's about damn time!" They smiled. "I'm glad to see Sirius stopped being a git…for now." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm also glad Sam stopped being such a-"

"Don't you dare call my future wife anything bad!" Sirius exclaimed.

James eyes widened while Sam started coughing. "I thought we agreed to take it one day at a time?"

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "We did. I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I was being completely honest about wanting to be with forever."

Sam smiled. "I know you are." She kissed him.

He brought her closer to him and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy." She blushed. He kissed her and his hands traveled down her body. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Baby."

They started kissing each other and leaning their bodies against one another. Their hands grabbed at each other and James sneered. "Would you two stop that? No one wants to see that!" They laughed.


	44. Chapter 43: Confessions Of A Troubled Mi

Author's Note: Hello! Did you miss me? I'm so sorry it took so long but it was a good thing that I took this break. I wanted to update sooner but my computer hates me and wishes that I suffer…a lot! I want to send out a special thank you to my best friend/beta. Thank you for helping me with the story and for the constant reassurance! _**You are the best!**_ You should all thank my best friend/beta who told me it was time to get off my ass and update. I hope you enjoy this chapter but if you don't…just be grateful that I finally updated. I am really sorry that it took close to four months for me to update. Hopefully, that won't happen again. I can't wait to hear from you guys! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me. That's what I'm here for…besides posting chapters. Well, I'll shut up now so you can read. Enjoy! By the way, I accidentally made Sirius act kind of like a girly girl in this chapter. It was completely unintentional! Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 43: Confessions Of A Troubled Mind.

Remus closed the door and sighed. He was happy to be home with his parents and away from the wizarding world for a bit. He lay down on his bed and looked around his room. It looked the same since the last time he was there. He felt a sense of relief when he stepped off the train and his parents hugged him tightly. They heard about what happened and kept asking him questions. He kept silent. That was the last thing he wanted to talk about. They seemed to understand his reluctance to speak of the previous night's events.

The sun lit the room brightly and he put his arm across his eyes. When he opened his eyes, the only light that came through was from the moon. His eyes widened and checked his watch. 3:15 pm the clock read. "This can't be right." He muttered. Remus rubbed his eyes and rolled over. His heart stopped when he saw what was on his side table. It was a picture of Sam and him at the Christmas ball in his fourth year. They were smiling while hugging each other tightly. They were laughing and kissing. He traced the photograph with his fingers lightly. They were so happy that night. James had given them his blessing and they were in love. It felt like anything was possible that moment.

He started to tear up and clutched the picture tightly. He noticed something moving across the room and gasped when he saw what it was. Sam glided towards him and smiled softly. She was wearing a sheer nightgown, it resembled the one she wore the night on the astronomy tower, and her hair seemed to be floating around her back. "Why are you crying, Hero?" She asked in a soft voice.

Remus stared at her closely. "Sammy, is that you?" She nodded. "What are you doing here?" She shrugged. "Am I dreaming?"

Sam just smiled at him. "Why is my hero crying? Does seeing me make you sad, Baby?"

He sat up in his bed as he watched her closely. She leaned against the wall and the moonlight made her glow. The light made it possible for him to see an outline of her body through her nightgown. She had a faint smile on her face as she looked out the window. "I'm happy to see you, Sammy." She looked at him briefly before turning back to the window. "I'm upset because I lost you, Sammy."

"You could never lose me, Moony." She whispered.

"You said you hated me. You said that you didn't want me to touch you or come near you again."

She sighed in a dreamy sort of way. "I haven't been here before, have I?"

"No, you haven't."

"Was Hannah ever here?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, she has been here before. We came here for a few days before we went to her house last summer."

She looked at him closely. "Why didn't you ever bring me here?"

He shrugged. "I don't know why. I just always went to where you were."

"Were you embarrassed to be with me? Did you think I wasn't good enough to spend time with your parents?"

His eyes widened. "I was never embarrassed to be with you! My parents were crazy about you! They still are! My Dad was thrilled for me when I told him about us! He was happy that I found someone as wonderful as you. He was ecstatic that I found someone who knew about my condition and still loved me."

Sam smiled slowly. "Does he know what happened between us? Does he know every single detail?"

"No, he doesn't. He knows we were in love and that we broke up twice."

She walked over to him. Remus watched her and impatiently waited to touch her. She sat down next to him on his bed. "How many times did you think about me being here alone in your room with you?"

Remus blushed and let out a nervous laugh. "I thought about it many times."

Sam slid her hands on top of his. He smiled and lightly rubbed her arms. She pushed him back on the bed and lifted up the bottom of her nightgown so she could straddle his hips. He rested his hands on her hips. She caressed his cheek. "How can one person make me go weak in the knees with just one look?" He blushed when she kissed him. She unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. "You're such a beautiful person, Remus. I'm amazed by how truly wonderful you really are."

He placed his hand behind her head and brought her face to his. "I love you, Sammy. You make me feel so many things. I've never felt this way about anyone but you. You make me crazy and calm. You drive me up the walls but somehow bring me back to reality. You make me feel everything at once."

His heart swelled when she giggled. "You make no sense at all, Remus." He smiled. She rested her forehead against his. "Do you really love me, Hero?"

"I love you so damn much, Sammy."

"Will you love me forever, Moony?"

"I will love you beyond my death."

She smiled slowly. She sat up and removed her nightgown. He gasped at her naked figure. She took his hand and guided it up and down her body in slow motions. "Do you need me, Remus?"

His breathing turned into a pant. "Yes, I do."

Sam bit her lip and smiled. She nibbled on his fingers before guiding his hand down her body again. "Do you want me, Hero?"

"More than anything in the world."

She kissed his neck and trailed down his chest. Her tongue traced his belly button. He gasped in delight when she unbuckled his pants and slid her hands inside. "I want to feel you, Remus. I want to feel your touch again." She kissed him and traced his mouth with her tongue. "Make love to me, Remus. Make me feel beautiful again. Make me yours." He shuddered at her slow touch. "I want you to claim me as yours again. Claim me, Hero. Don't let me go away this time."

Remus grabbed her and she let out an excited gasp. He removed the rest of his clothing and was on top of her in seconds. "I want you so much it hurts, Sammy."

"Claim me, Remus. Make it impossible for me to leave you again. Make it impossible for me to want anyone else but you. Mark me as yours, Moony."

He was breathing heavily. He entered her quickly and she stifled a moan. He thrust against her and she whimpered. "You're mine, Sammy. You will only belong to me. I won't let you go. I'll never let you go."

Sam dug her nails into his back. He sucked on her neck and could hear her panting. "Make me feel you. Make me need to feel you."

Remus bit her neck and she yelped. "D-Did I hurt you?"

"Yes, you did." She smiled. "Do it again, Baby."

He laughed and bit her neck again. She was moaning in his ear as they continued. They grew louder and more aggressive. She bit his chest as hard as possible. She flipped him over and was on top. She had a content look on her face as her body rose. "Sammy, I love you. I need you. Stay with me forever."

She licked her lips slowly. His hands grasped her breasts. "Are you done fighting over me with Sirius? Do you really want me or do you just want Sirius to lose?"

Remus looked at her in surprise. "What are you talking about? I want only you. I want you because I love you. Sirius will just have to understand. He will have to understand that we want to be together. He will have to understand that we're in love."

Sam glared at him. "Sirius will never understand. You know that." He sighed. "How could you?"

"How could I what?"

She slapped him. "How could someone as wonderful as you love a whore like me?"

Remus' eyes went wide. "S-Sammy-"

He was cut off by her laughter. "Remus, you mean everything to me. You're so beautiful. You're so sweet. You're so…" She leaned in close to his ear and whispered. "Pure." She smiled. "You were my first love. You were my first boyfriend. You were my first lover. No one can take that away from you. You were my everything." He groaned in pleasure. "Never stop loving me, Baby. You're love saved me once, Remus. Please, save me again."

Remus gripped her hips and rolled her onto her back. She moaned. "I'll never stop loving you, Baby. I'll always be there for you. I'll never leave you."

Sam started to cry. "If you love me, why do you hurt me?"

He stopped moving. "Am I hurting you?"

"You've hurt me so much. I should have never loved you. I should have never lost my virginity to you." He looked liked he was in pain. "You never let me forget that I slept with you first. You never let me forget what a disgusting whore I really am. I was never good enough. I never deserved your love. I deserved what Severus tried to do to me."

Remus let tears fall down his face. "Sammy, that's not true! It was all my fault! I never deserved you!"

She looked at him sadly. "I deserve to die."

"Sammy, don't say that!" He yelled. She was fading away. "Sammy, don't leave!"

"Remus, wake up!"

He sat up in bed and was covered in sweat. The sun was setting and he looked around and saw his father staring at him with concern. "Where did she go?" He demanded. "What have you done with her?"

Mr. Lupin's eyes were wide as saucers. "Remus, what are you talking about? Who is 'she'?"

Remus' chin trembled. "Where did Sam go? She was just here!"

He sat down on his son's bed and sighed. "You were just dreaming. No one was here."

He started to cry. "I lost her again, Dad. I've lost Sammy again!"

"Son, what are you talking about? She's at home with her family."

"Dad, I'm a terrible person. It was my fault! She almost died because of me!"

"Remus, calm down! Tell me what happened. What happened last night?"

Remus was sobbing. "I love her, Dad. She loved me after everything I've done to her. Now, she hates me!"

Mr. Lupin hugged his son tightly. He never saw him act this way before. "What have you done to her? Why would Sammy hate you? She loves you, Remus."

He looked at him with pathetic eyes. "All I ever did was hurt her. I hurt her, Dad!"

"D-Did you h-hit her?"

"Of course not! I'd never do that!"

He sighed. "Then how did you hurt her?"

Remus put up a silencing charm and his father smiled. He was amazed by magic. He found it very amusing and entertaining. He sometimes whish he had the same talents as his wife and son. Remus was shaking. "If I tell you, you will never look at me the same way again."

Mr. Lupin smiled. "That's not true, Remus. You are my son. I love you no matter what you tell me. Now, explain what happened. Tell me everything that happened. I won't think less of you, I promise."

He sighed. "I'll start from the very beginning." His father nodded. "As you know I met her briefly at Diagon Alley before my second year…she was so excited to be starting Hogwarts."

"Yes, I remember. When you first saw her, I almost laughed at your reaction. You were blushing from head to toe and I think a little bit of drool escaped your mouth."

Remus blushed. "Thank you for pointing that out in front of everyone, by the way. James and Sirius wouldn't stop questioning me about it." Mr. Lupin laughed in response. "Anyway, I was amazed by how such a tiny little girl could have so much energy. She was all over the place! Sammy was practically bouncing off the walls!" He sighed. "I may have briefly glanced at her while she ran from store with her mum but…I was completely gone. From that moment on, she was all I could think about. Of course, I couldn't admit it to anyone, especially to myself."

Mr. Lupin smiled at his son. "Love at first sight."

He nodded. "Yes, that was it exactly." He smiled. "When she sat with us on the train, I could barely speak and only blush. Sam recently admitted to me that she was so surprised by that and wanted to get to know this cute boy who blushed at everything she said to him."

His smile grew. "I always did like Sammy."

Remus smiled. "Over the course of that year, we became really good friends despite her fight with James. She would always ask for my help but knew the answers. I thought she wanted to spend time with me to get information about Sirius. She claimed her undying love for him to me constantly." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "She told me that she always asked for my help because she wanted to get to know the real me."

"That's sweet."

He nodded slowly. "Things changed between us during my third year. We still hung out but it was when Dumbledore had the first Christmas ball…she asked me to take her. She was so excited that she kissed me right on the lips!"

"Are you serious?"

Remus laughed. "Yes, I am. Sirius and I overheard her telling Lily that she liked the kiss and that she liked me. I was completely floored. I ignored her for a week. I was just surprised that someone like her could accept what and who I was and still want to be with someone like me. She told me that I was off the hook and didn't have to take her to the ball because she knew or thought that I didn't feel the same way. That wasn't true but she was too young for me at the time."

"That is true. What happened next?"

"Sam went to the ball with Michael Lewis and I went with Lily. Everything seemed to be fine between us until she caught Sirius and I kissing other girls…she stopped talking to us until the summer when we saw her at Diagon Alley after she came back from Paris with Michael and his family. That's where she introduced us to her boyfriend Patrick, Michael's older cousin."

Mr. Lupin nodded. "I'm sure that hurt you."

"It did. Seeing this guy all over the girl I was crazy about practically killed me! I wanted to strangle him every time he touched her!" His father laughed. "Sam noticed that Sirius and I changed around her. She was always beautiful but after that summer she spent in Paris, she really _grew_ up!"

His father smirked. "I can just imagine how." Remus laughed and continued his story. His eyes went wide. "You saw her naked?" His son nodded eagerly. "Did she honestly believe that you and Sirius didn't enjoy that?"

He laughed. "Sammy just said that so James and her father wouldn't be even more upset. James knew the truth though. He watched us like a hawk whenever we were around her after that."

Mr. Lupin listened intently as his son continued. Hearing every detail of how his son fell in love and got the girl, completely uncensored, made him proud and a little uncomfortable. He was relieved to learn that they took things very slowly. "I'm glad to hear that you two took the time to make sure what you were feeling was real."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "We took things _painfully_ slow! She didn't mind kissing me but I could barely touch her. She had no real experience and neither did I. Things changed a little while after our first Valentine's Day together though."

He paled slightly. "H-How did things change?" Remus continued with the uncensored truth and his father almost choked on the details. "Remus, you were fourteen! Samantha was only thirteen! I gave you those condoms as a joke! I honestly never expected you to use them when you were so young!"

"I-I know, Dad. We were in love and thought we were ready for it. We were glad it was with each other but knew we rushed things. We decided to wait until we were completely ready."

Mr. Lupin sighed in relief but inwardly groaned when he saw the look on his son's face. "I-It was long until the next time you two slept together, was it?" Remus shook his head slowly. "Just tell me your story, son." He said with a sigh. His stomach tied in knots as the story continued. His son's voice softened as he mentioned what happened between them in his fifth year. "Remus, how could you say that to her?"

He looked like he was in pain. "I saw Sirius all over her! I was hurt and upset!" He sighed. "After Sirius showed me his pensieves and I got injured in that fight with Snape, she forgave me."

"You're lucky she still talked to you after that!" His son nodded slowly. "What you said to her…what you called her…your mother and I raised you better than that!"

Remus had tears in his eyes. "I know, Dad! I made a mistake! I wish that was the worst of it!"

He sighed. "What else happened between the two of you?" He continued the story. It's what happened in his son's sixth year that made his heart stop. "S-Sammy was pregnant?"

He shook his head. "It was just a false alarm."

Mr. Lupin groaned. "You got drunk and cheated on her with that Hannah girl?" Remus nodded slowly. "Sam caught you?" He nodded again. "Remus, what were you thinking?"

Remus groaned. "I wasn't thinking. I was terrified at the thought of being a father at sixteen. It seemed easy to just drink and forget what was going on. Hannah found me and that's when I really screwed up!"

"Keep going, Remus." His son continued. "She broke up with you on your second anniversary?"

"Yes, she did."

"I'm sure that hurt you a lot."

"It did."

"I'm sorry to say this but you deserved it, son. Sam trusted you and loved you and you broke her heart. You're lucky that she stayed as long as she did and still wanted you around after all that."

"I know I am. I just wish that was the worst of it."

Mr. Lupin paled again. "There's more?"

"Yes, there is. Do you want me to continue?"

He nodded slowly. "You've told me everything else." Remus sighed. Mr. Lupin listened closely as his son continued. This story was torture for the both of them. "She really threatened Hannah for you?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, she did. She didn't care if she got into trouble for it. She said her only concern was that I and my secret were protected."

Mr. Lupin grinned. "I always did like her!"

He laughed. "She is pretty amazing. It changed though. Later that night, she was upset and called me a disgusting freak."

His eyes widened. "She didn't!" Remus nodded. "Why would she do that? That doesn't sound like her!"

"Sam was going through a tough time."

"What do you mean?" Remus told him everything that happened up until the night she was sent away. "I can't believe Sirius did that to her! She loved him so much! I don't know what to think! I honestly don't understand why she agreed to marry him after all that."

Remus sighed. "As much as she hated him, she still loved him."

"Why was she sent away?"

"I can't tell you that. I've been sworn to secrecy."

Mr. Lupin nodded. "I understand. So, she came back after two weeks?" Remus nodded. "What happened?" He was intrigued by the twists and turns of the story. Remus finished and he sighed. "Snape tried to kill them?"

"Yes, he did."

"Why did you say all that to her? She trusted you with her fears and doubts and you used it against her! Remus, I am very disappointed in you."

Remus cried. "I hate myself for this. She said she never wanted me near her again. She never wants me to touch her. She loved me so much after everything and now, she hates me. I love her so much, Dad! If I wasn't such a git, we would be back together right now!"

He held his son tightly. "I know, son."

"If I could just talk to her, if I could just apologize to her and make her realize that I do love her then everything will be ok."

"Remus, you have to calm down. Just give Sammy some time to think and she will eventually forgive you."

"How do I make things right between us? How do I make her see that I didn't mean what I said?"

He sighed. "You just have to give her some time. She loves you so much. She will forgive you."

He nodded slowly. "You're right. Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime, son."

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Sirius held onto Sam tightly. He knew that she would only be gone for a few hours but he still didn't want to let her go. They, literally, just got back together and he didn't want her to go. They were standing in front of the fire place and he sighed happily when her arms tightened around his neck. He kissed her slowly. "I love you so much, Baby." He whispered in her ear.

Sam smiled and blushed. "I know you do." Sirius pouted and she laughed. "I love you too, Sirius."

"Do you have to go? We just got back together and I don't want to lose you."

"You could never lose me, Baby. I'll only be gone for a few hours. I'll be back soon enough and then we will be together."

He smiled brightly. "We'll be able to make up for lost time." She blushed. "I'm going to kiss you so much that your lips will be swollen for a week!"

She bit her lip and her blush grew. Her eyes fluttered closed when he trailed kisses down to her neck. "You're making it impossible for me to leave."

"Then don't go. Stay with me."

Sam winked at him. "I promise I won't be gone too long. How could I stay away from you?"

He held her face in his hands and kissed her deeply as his body leaned into hers. "I can't wait until you come back."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter walked into the living room and almost laughed. The two of them were kissing like they would never see each other again and poor James was sitting on the sofa, watching them with a pained expression on his face. "Sirius, I love you like a son but get your damn hands off of my baby girl." Mr. Potter grunted.

Sirius pulled away from Sam and laughed nervously. "Sorry about that, sir."

Mrs. Potter hugged Sirius. "I'm so happy that you got your head out of your ass and realized you loved Sammy."

They laughed while Sirius blushed. "So am I, Mum." Sirius said while smiling at Sam.

"Let's be on our way now, Sammy. I promised Catherine I would come along with you. The poor dear must be beside herself." Mrs. Potter said.

She nodded and waved goodbye to the others. She smiled when Sirius wrapped his arms around her once again. "What are you doing?"

He kissed her. "I'm just reminding you of what is waiting for you when you come back."

The men stifled their laughter while Mrs. Potter smiled. "I'll be back soon enough, sweetie." She said before kissing him on the lips.

When they left, Sirius sat down next to James with a sigh. "Now, don't get annoyed by this, but mate, you are so whipped!" James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes while Mr. Potter laughed. "He's right, you know."

They were surprised when Sirius let out a loud laugh. "Yes, I am!" He exclaimed. "And I've never been happier!" James smiled at him.

Mr. Potter smiled. "I'm glad you two are back together." Sirius smiled. "But if you hurt her, I'll hurt you!"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. James smirked at him. "I won't hurt her, Dad. I love her. I was a moronic git when we first got together but now, I know for a fact that she is the one for me."

Mr. Potter nodded and left. James looked at him. "Have you told her yet?"

He sighed. "No, I haven't but I will. I promise I will tell her everything when the time is right."

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Sam was practically running to the hospital wing. She was very anxious to see Michael. She looked around and smiled when she saw Patrick. "Hello Patrick!"

Patrick turned around and smiled. "Hello Sammy. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling much better. How's Michael doing? Can I see him?"

"He had a lot of visitors today. Madam Pomfrey ordered him to rest. You'll have to wait to see him." Patrick hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you are feeling better."

She blushed. "So am I, Patrick."

He smiled at her and winked. "Did I make you blush?" Her blush grew and she started to laugh when he tickled her. "Did I make Sammy blush?"

Sam was laughing hysterically as she swatted at his hands. "Patrick, you better stop! I'll hex you!"

Patrick laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her to him. "I've missed you, Sammy. I forgot how much fun you are."

She blushed. "We didn't exactly have a lot of fun times together, Patrick."

He sighed. "I know. I just want you to know how sorry-"

"You don't have to apologize. It's been three years since we went out. It doesn't matter anymore."

Patrick held her hands in his and they sat down on the bed next to them. "It matters to me." She nodded slowly. "When we first met…I just saw some little girl that my cousin was crazy about." She blushed. "Michael and Lilac were going off together and we were forced to spend time together and you were growing up quickly, and very nicely, if you don't mind me saying." Her blush grew. "The only problem I had with spending time with you was that you were constantly talking about Sirius and Remus. I'm sorry but it was very annoying!"

Sam let out a loud laugh. "I was and still am an ass when it comes to them. I was a girl, in love with two boys, in Paris but they were no where around. They were all I could think about…until you kissed me that night by the Eiffel Tower."

It was his turn to blush. "You looked so beautiful that night. It was the first time when you didn't mention Sirius, James, or Remus and I just couldn't help but kiss you."

She smiled. "I've got to say that that kiss was the most romantic kiss I've ever had."

He smiled. "I felt the same way. I had no idea that one little kiss could change everything."

"Wasn't the kiss a part of the bet? Wasn't spending time with me a part of the bet as well?"

Patrick shook his head and sighed. "No, it wasn't. The bet didn't happen until the day we went to Diagon Alley to meet your family. I ran into my friends and they were making fun of me for going out with a third year. So, I was bragging about what we did together-"

"We barely even made out. The time I let you touch my breast in the hall and the one time I…you know…was the only thing that really happened between us and that was after we came back to school."

He nodded. "I knew that but I lied to my friends about us. I said that you were…pretty easy but didn't have sex. They knew I was lying through my teeth and they bet me that I couldn't sleep with you before the Christmas ball. I felt really guilty about it but your brother and his friends were hexing me and my friends to the point where the guilt wore off."

"James thought you were an arrogant ponce, not like he should judge anyone with how he used to act, and didn't like your hands constantly on my bum. He was just trying to protect me from something he wasn't familiar with."

"What's that?"

"The boyfriend. James was used to me having crushes and, even when I was ten and eleven, flirting with boys but he wasn't used to me actually dating someone. Some guy who had his hands all over me and kissing me, he didn't know what to do except what he does best, hex people."

Patrick smiled. "I've got to say that I'm relieved that I never had a little sister. I would have gone insane! I don't know how James can deal with it."

Sam laughed lightly. "He has to repress a lot of memories. The poor boy just doesn't know when to knock or when to stop asking questions."

He laughed before saying. "Sammy, the way I treated you and the things I said to you and about you were and still is unforgivable. I know this won't mean much now but I truly am sorry for what happened between us. After we broke up…I realized how stupid I truly was. I honestly never thought I'd be terrified to say hello to my cousin for a year in case my tiny thirteen year old ex-girlfriend might pop out of nowhere and hex me." She laughed. "I want you to know that I've changed. I'm not the same fifteen year old git that you went out with. I've grown up a lot since then. I just thought you needed to know that I really did care for you and that I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

Sam hugged him and let out a small yelp when he held onto her tightly. "I know you're sorry, Patrick. I really did care for you but while we were going out…I realized I was in love with Remus. I'm sorry. You must think I'm a terrible person."

Patrick kissed her temple and smiled. "I don't think that, Sammy. You couldn't help how you felt and with the way I was treating you, it's completely understandable." She smiled. "We've really grown up some since the last time we talked, huh?"

"I don't know about me but you certainly have grown up. I really do like the mature you better."

"I've got to say that if you did sleep with me, I would have lost all respect for you." Sam rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. "Ow! I was only stating a fact! I really would have lost all respect for you if you slept with me after everything. I'm glad you're waiting for the right person." She let out a nervous laugh and his eyes widened. "Y-You already slept with someone?" She nodded. "With who? When did this happen? Were you careful?"

Sam's eyes widened. She never expected him to react that way. "It was with Remus. It happened…at the end of my third year." He almost choked. "And yes, we were very careful."

"You were so young…did you regret it?"

"At first I did but I was glad it was with someone I love." He nodded slowly. "I don't understand why you are so upset. You were trying to get me into bed months before I slept with Remus."

He sighed. "I know that. I'm just surprised that you actually slept with him at such a young age."

She glared at him. "I might have been young but I was in love! I took things very slowly with him up until then. We realized we rushed things and it wasn't until a month later when we were completely sure. You have no right to judge me, Lewis!"

His eyes widened. He remembered seeing that look on her face when she broke up with him in front of everyone. That look still scared the ever living shit out of him. "S-Sammy, I'm not judging you at all! I was just surprised, that's all! I'm sorry if you thought that I was judging you."

Sam's face softened. "It's ok, Patrick. I-I just didn't want you to think that I'm some sort of a slut."

Patrick stared at her for a moment before shaking his head aggressively. "I'd never think that about you! Why would you even say that?"

"Sammy!" They looked up and Sam smiled. A ten year old golden blonde little girl ran over to them while a four year old with golden blonde hair tried to quickly follow. "You're here! I've missed you so much!"

Sam hugged the girls tightly. "Abby, I can't believe how much you've grown! I can't believe you're starting Hogwarts next year." Abby beamed at her. Sam smiled at the four year old. "Kasey, you look so adorable! You've grown so much too!"

Abby smiled when Patrick wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder. "Sammy, can you marry Michael or Patrick? We really want you as a part of the family!"

Patrick and Sam laughed nervously. "I don't think that's going to happen, Abby." Patrick muttered.

Kasey snuggled closer to Sam and tightened her tiny arms around her neck. "Don't you want us to be a family?" She said while sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

"Michael is my best friend and Patrick has just become a friend again. I care about you all very much. We are already family. I already think of you as my little sisters."

Mrs. Lewis walked over to them and smiled. She hugged Sam with her free arm while her other arm held a beautiful dirty blonde haired baby girl. "Samantha, it's so good to see you again."

Sam smiled at Patrick's mother. "Hello Mrs. Lewis. It's good to see you again too."

"Mum, what is she doing up?" Patrick asked. He put his arm back around Sam's shoulder and squeezed her to him. "She should be asleep."

Mrs. Lewis smiled at her son. "She missed you, Patrick."

"I didn't know you had a sister, Patrick." Sam said while smiling at the baby girl.

Patrick shifted uncomfortably. "I don't." He held the baby in his free arm and rubbed Sam's shoulder with his other hand. "Sam, this is my daughter Annabelle."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Y-Your daughter? I didn't know you're married!"

He sighed. "I-I'm not…anymore." She gave him a curious look. "It's a long and complicated story."

Mrs. Lewis smiled at them. Seeing her son with his daughter in one arm and Sam in his other made her so happy. She always did like Sam and was very upset to learn about that bet her son made about her. She didn't speak to him for weeks because she was so disappointed in him. Sam was such a sweet girl and she thought that she was good for her son. Sam wrapped an arm around his waist and cooed at Annabelle. "Can I hold her, Patrick?" She asked shyly.

Patrick smiled at her. "Annabelle doesn't really like strangers. She is only comfortable with family holding her." Annabelle looked at Sam closely with her bright blue eyes. The little girl giggled at the faces Sam was making and squirmed in her father's arms. She held out her hands to Sam and whimpered. "Well, this is a first! She actually wants you to hold her."

Sam held the little girl closely as she rested her on her hip. Annabelle giggled at her. Sam's face softened at the sight of her. "She's beautiful, Patrick. How old is she?"

"She is six months old." He replied.

Abby and Kasey pouted. "Patrick, pick me up!" Abby demanded.

Kasey pulled on the legs of Sam's jeans. "Pick me up, Sammy!"

They smiled as they picked the girls up. Patrick held onto Abby tightly as he squeezed Sam to him. Sam had her hands full with Annabelle and Kasey. Mrs. Lewis gushed at the sight of them. "Would you look at this? You look like such a beautiful family!" She had tears in her eyes. "If my son wasn't such a prat, Sammy would be Annabelle's mother instead of that piece of trash-"

"Mother, that's enough!" Patrick said. "Sam has already forgiven me for what happened between us."

Mrs. Lewis smiled. "It would be so wonderful if the two of you got back together! Sammy, are you dating anyone?"

Patrick blushed. "She is dating Remus."

"No, I'm not."

"You're not?"

She shook her head. "I just got back together with Sirius."

"You're dating Sirius?" She nodded. "You got back together? When did you two go out? I thought you were still with Remus."

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "That's a long and complicated story."

He smiled. "I'd love to hear it some time."

"I'd love to hear yours as well."

Patrick nodded. "How about tomorrow? After you visit with Michael, we could take a walk around the grounds and talk."

She nodded and smiled. "That sounds nice."

Mrs. Lewis walked over to her sister-in-law and Mrs. Potter. She smiled when she hugged Mrs. Potter. "Evelyn, it's so good to see you again."

Mrs. Potter smiled. "Audrey, how are you? Your granddaughter is so beautiful."

She smiled. "Yes, she is! Annabelle is the best thing to happen to us!" She looked over at the kids and let out a giggle. Patrick kissed Sam's temple and they played with the children. "Sammy has grown up to be such a lovely young woman, Evelyn."

"Thank you. She does make us proud."

"Look at them!" Mrs. Lewis, Michael's mother, gushed. "They look like such a happy little family."

Mrs. Potter looked at her daughter and sighed sadly. Seeing her daughter with the children and how her face lit up when she played with the baby made her heart break. She would never have that. "They do look the part, don't they?"

Audrey smiled at the sight. "I was trying to convince them to get back together. Imagine the beautiful grand babies we could have! Too bad Sammy is going out with Sirius."

Catherine looked surprised. "She is dating Sirius? I hoped that she would give Michael a chance! They'd be perfect together."

Evelyn laughed. "I love how you two want my little Sammy as your daughter-in-law." They smiled and nodded. "She has been crazy about Sirius since she was ten! They went out briefly at the beginning of term but he was a git!"

Audrey and Catherine laughed. "That sounds like Patrick when he went out with her!" They said in unison.

She nodded. "Sirius somehow convinced her to give it another go. You should have seen him this morning! He didn't want to let her go!" Evelyn stopped when she saw her husband and sons walk through the door. She saw Sirius fuming at how comfortable Sam and Patrick looked together. It didn't help that Patrick still had his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple as they played with the children. Sam looked so at ease with Kasey and Annabelle in her arms. She looked like a young mother. Sam kissed Patrick's cheek and laughed at something he said. They really did look like a happy family. Mrs. Potter sighed as she looked back at Sirius' face. He looked so hurt and confused. She also noticed how he looked longingly at her daughter. It almost looked like he wished that he was Patrick at the moment. It almost looked like he wanted to be with Sam and surrounded by their children. Sirius and James looked like they were arguing before walking over to the pair. "This will not turn out well." She muttered to herself.


	45. Chapter 44: The Meaning

Chapter 44: The Meaning.

Sirius tried his best to pay attention to what James was saying but it was hard. All he could think about was Sam. She had only been gone for a little over an hour but he missed her. "Earth to Sirius! Come in, Sirius!" James said while waving his hands in front of his friend's face.

He looked at him. "What was that, Prongs?"

James rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, she's only been gone for an hour!"

"An hour and ten and a half minutes to be exact."

He laughed. "You've got it bad!" Sirius nodded eagerly. "I'm glad to see that. Now I know for a fact that you really want to be with her."

Sirius smiled. "I can't help it! I can't stop thinking about her! She makes me feel so…many things! Whenever I see her…I just want to always be around her! I feel like I can do anything when I'm with her! My heart feels like it could explode when I see her, kiss her, or think about her!"

"You sound like me whenever I talk about Lily!"

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess, I do." He smiled. "She is really the best thing in my life."

James had a mock look of hurt on his face. "W-What? Has our seven years together meant nothing to you?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and laughed as he hit James on the head. "You know what I mean, you git! You're my best mate and my brother! She is-"

"Technically, your sister."

His lip curled in disgust. "Why would you feel the need to say that? That is the most disturbing thing I've every heard!"

He smiled. "That's good! My job is done!" Sirius gave him a curious look. "It will be harder for you to sleep with her if the thought of her being your sister keeps popping up!"

Sirius smirked evilly. "I'd never have a problem sleeping with her. I can't really think when we are together. It's hard to form thoughts whenever she is around, especially when she's naked as the day she was born and-"

James punched him the arm and groaned. "That's another thing that I have to repress, you bastard! I really didn't need to hear that about my little sister!" Sirius continued to smirk. "You have no idea how lucky you are not to have a sister! It's really not an easy job to be a big brother! It gets worse as she gets older!"

He laughed. "I know I'm lucky, mate. I'd probably be bald if I did have a sister. You just have to calm down, mate. Sam can take care of herself, and I'll take care of her too. Just concentrate on asking Lily's parents the big important question."

"That's easy for you to say. I'll always worry about Sam. She'll always worry about me. It just comes with the territory." He sighed. "I'm absolutely terrified about going to Lily's house. This is a really huge step! What if I'm making a mistake? What if they say no? Or worse, what if she says no?"

Sirius smiled. "Mate, you really need to calm down! Sam is going to be fine. Lily's parents will say yes. Lily will definitely say yes to you. You're not making a mistake. You love each other and you know you two are meant to be."

James visibly relaxed. "Thanks for that, mate. I really needed to hear that."

He laughed. "That's what I'm here for. I expect you to do the same thing for me when…you know."

His eyes widened. "You're going to propose too?"

Sirius shrugged. "I will. Just not anytime soon. Sam would kick my ass if I did it now. She wants to take things one day at a time and I have to respect that. I think by the end of the school year I'll do it. That should be enough time, right?"

James shrugged. "I have no idea what to tell you. I think it's brilliant that you finally realized that you want to be with her. I trust you with her. I don't want to lose that trust again."

He smiled. "You won't, mate. I promise that I won't hurt her this time." James smiled. "D-Do you think that we could go to Hogwarts?"

James laughed. "Do you miss your little girlfriend?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up!" He sighed. "Yes, I do. I'm so fucking pathetic! It's been over an hour and I'm going crazy. I just want to make sure that she doesn't change her mind. I've given her so many reasons to leave me that I'm just…afraid she will actually leave."

He smiled. "Trust me when I say that she won't give up on you." Sirius nodded slowly. James rolled his eyes. "Hey Dad! Sirius is about to have a stroke if he doesn't see Sam soon! Is it alright if we go to school?"

Mr. Potter walked into the living room and laughed. "Do you miss your little girlfriend?" James laughed while Sirius glared at them. "We can go."

"You don't have to go with us, Dad." Sirius said.

He sighed. "I…uh…miss your mother." The boys laughed. "Oh, shut up and let's go!"

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Mr. Potter and James had to run to keep up with Sirius. He was so excited to see Sam. They were panting as they ran. They opened the doors and almost bumped into Sirius when he stopped walking. He felt an intense pain in his chest when he saw Sam. "Mate, why'd you stop?" James asked while trying to catch his breath.

Sirius didn't understand what he saw. Sam had two children in her arms while Patrick was holding a girl in his and kept an arm around Sam's shoulders. He didn't know what to think. His blood boiled when Patrick kept kissing her temple. "What the hell is that?" He grumbled.

Mr. Potter and James sighed when they saw what he was looking at. "It looks like they are just talking." Mr. Potter mumbled. He didn't want to make the boy even more upset by admitting that he didn't like seeing Patrick all over his little girl.

Things got worse for Sirius when he saw Patrick whisper something in her ear. Sam kissed his cheek and laughed. They looked like a happy family together and he couldn't take it. "She doesn't want him still, does she?" He asked no on in particular.

James shook his head aggressively. "Of course not! Sam wants you! She got back together with you today, didn't she?"

He nodded slowly. Seeing Sam with those kids made him feel elated and upset. He wanted more than anything to be the one holding her while she held onto them. She looked like she was Patrick's wife and mother to those kids. "What does that mean? She wanted to get back together with Moony last night and she snogged Michael. What if I'm just her last resort? What if she really stopped loving me?"

Mr. Potter put a hand on his shoulder. Sirius looked up at him expectantly. "I know my daughter, Sirius. You are the only one that can make her happy. Sammy loves kids and she is just having fun with them." He stared at his daughter and his heart broke for her. She would never be a mother and he knew that tore her up inside. She would never have a family of her very own like she had always wanted. "You shouldn't worry. She loves you."

Sirius nodded slowly. He growled when Patrick kissed her cheek slowly. Sam seemed too busy paying attention to the baby to notice what he did. "I'm going to kill him! He keeps touching her like…she's his bleeding wife or something!"

James groaned. "Padfoot, calm down! If you go over there and act possessive and jealous, Sam will hate you."

"I don't care! He has no right to be all over her like that!"

"Would you just calm down? They are just playing around with those kids! It doesn't mean anything!"

Mr. Potter sighed. "Boys, why don't you just walk over to them and see what's going on? I'm going to talk to your mother."

They were about to walk over to them but Sirius stopped moving. Patrick put the eldest child onto his shoulders and put his hand on Sam's shoulder and they walked over to Michael's bed. Madam Pomfrey just finished moving the curtains. Michael smiled at them as Sam sat down on the bed next to him. Patrick sat down in the chair next to the bed after setting the eldest child on the bed. The toddler crawled out of Sam's arms and into Michael's. James sighed when he looked at Sirius. "Mate, let's just go over there."

Sirius never felt like this before. They looked like such a happy family and he was honestly jealous. He wanted to be the one surrounded by children with Sam. It should be him with her instead of Michael and Patrick. "They looked like a family. She could be those kids mother. She could be one of their wives."

He shrugged. "Yeah, she could be all that." Sirius glared at him. "But she wants you. My sister can be fickle, just like any woman, but she loves you. Sirius, you have every right to be jealous by what you see but you have no reason not to trust her. She was always faithful to you. If anything, you have to make her trust you again."

He sighed. "I know you're right. I love her, Prongs." James nodded. "I honestly can't bear to lose her again. I've given her so many reasons to give up on me and she almost did." He looked at his best friend closely. "What if she does give up on me while we are still together? What if she wakes up one day and realizes that I'm not the one for her? What if she stops loving me?"

James smiled. "Don't give her reason to. That's all you can do."

They walked over to the bed and Sirius' heart sank when he heard Michael speak. "Abby, we've been over this!" He laughed. Abby pouted in response. "Don't be upset, sweetie. Sammy and Patrick are just friends. They aren't getting back together or getting married. Sammy and I aren't either. We are just friends."

Abby continued to pout. "Why? Why can't you marry one of them, Sammy?" Sam sighed. Annabelle snuggled closer to her and she smiled softly at the baby. "Don't you love us anymore? Don't you just love Annabelle?"

Sam sighed again. "We've been through this before, Abigail!" Abby sneered at hearing her full name. "You know I love you and Kasey as if you were my very own little sisters and I'm crazy about Annabelle. I think of you as a part of my family. I don't have to marry your brother or cousin to feel that way about you."

Kasey began to pout. "Please, marry Michael."

Michael blushed. He smiled at his little sisters. "You know the three of us love you a lot but if you don't stop, I'm going to tickle you to death when I get out of here!" He smiled at Annabelle and reached for her. "Come here, Annabelle! Let me see my favorite cousin!"

Annabelle's eyes grew wide and she started to cry. Sam held her tightly and smiled at Michael. His face fell. "It's ok, sweetheart. Michael won't hurt you." She said in a soothing voice as she rocked the girl up and down in her arms. "Michael, don't be upset. She is just scared to see you looking like a mummy."

"I-I didn't mean to scare her." He mumbled.

Patrick smiled encouragingly at him as he wrapped an arm around Sam. "We know, Michael. Anna just isn't used to seeing you like this. You know she is crazy about you."

Sam beamed at him. She was so surprised at how mature Patrick had become. He seemed so in control and grown up. It was amazing to her how much he had changed once he became a father. She smiled at Michael. "Patrick is right, Michael. Don't worry about her. Annabelle will be fine."

Abby smiled at the nice picture Patrick and Sam made. They looked like a picture perfect family. "Sammy, are you sure that you love your boyfriend?"

She eyed her closely while Michael sighed. His heart broke when she told him that she got back together with Sirius. He wanted her to be happy but he also wished that she wanted to be with him. "Yes, I'm sure. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Abby said with an innocent smile.

"Sammy, why didn't you tell me that you had a baby? I'm hurt!" James said. He was also surprise at how picture perfect they looked together while holding the baby. He saw the hurt look on Sirius' face. It was obvious that he noticed it too. "I'm your brother! I'd want to know if I had a niece."

Sam jumped and smiled. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw Sirius but it quickly faded. The look on his face terrified her. She hugged them tightly with her free arm. "What are you two doing here?"

James laughed. "This git over here couldn't spend another minute without you. It was really pathetic, you know."

She giggled. "Aw, did you miss me, Baby?"

Sirius barely smiled and her heart slowed. "Yes, I did." He muttered. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Abby and Kasey stared wide eyed at Sirius and James. Two of the cutest boys they ever saw were smiling at them. Sam nodded. "These two lovely girls are Michael's little sisters Abby and Kasey." The girls smiled shyly when the boys waved at them. Sam adjusted Annabelle on her hip. "This lovely bundle of joy is Patrick's daughter Annabelle."

Their eyes widened as they turned to Patrick. "You have a daughter?" They asked in unison. Patrick nodded and smiled. "When did you get married?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "That's a long story."

Sam winked at him. "Which I can't wait to hear." He smiled at her. Sirius felt like such an outsider. Annabelle giggled and their noses scrunched up in disgust. "It seems that some little girl needs to be changed."

"I'll take her, Sammy." Patrick said.

She smiled. "I'd like to help. It'd be nice to know how to take care of her when…"

Patrick smiled. "When what?"

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek to keep from yelling out in frustration. She laughed. "When you let me baby sit her for you?"

He laughed. "Of course you can watch her from time to time if you want." She smiled. "Let's go change her."

They walked off together. Michael saw the look on Sirius' face and felt his pain. "Abby, why don't you and Kasey go with them? It would be good for you two to learn as well." They nodded and left. He looked at them. "Are you ok, Sirius?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. How are you?"

He shrugged. "I'm doing much better. Frank, Kevin, and Chris came to visit for a bit before Madam Pomfrey kicked them out." They nodded. "Are you sure that you're ok?"

Sirius sighed. "I'm sure." He sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I…I want to thank you, Michael."

"Thank me for what?"

James sat down at the end of the bed. "Thank you for protecting my sister. If it wasn't for you, she would be…"

Michael smiled. "I did what I thought was right. She tried to protect me as well."

"I'm sorry, Michael." Sirius muttered.

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

He sighed again. James looked at him closely and hoped that he wouldn't tell Michael the truth before he told Sam. "I'm sorry that I've been a prat to you. You were always a good friend to her and didn't deserve me treating you that way. If it wasn't for you, she would be dead or worse. If it wasn't for you saving her, she wouldn't be with me again."

He smiled. "It's ok, Sirius. I'm just glad that she is safe and happy. You make her happy." He smiled again. "Friends?"

Sirius shook his hand and smiled. "Yeah, we're friends."

James pretended to cry. "That was so beautiful!" They rolled their eyes.

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Patrick looked at Sam closely. Her face was filled with worry. He sent Abby and Kasey away so he could talk to her. "It was very sweet of Sirius to come by like that."

Sam smiled before sighing. "Yes, it was."

"What's the matter? Why do you have such a long face?"

She looked at him. "I think he is going to break up with me again. Did you see the look on his face when he saw me holding Anna? Sirius looked terrified!"

He sighed. "Maybe he was just surprised by the sight. You did look awfully comfortable with her in your arms. You looked like her mother…only you're better than her real mother."

"I doubt that. Annabelle must have a wonderful mother. She is an absolute doll!" He smiled at his daughter. "You don't know Sirius like I do. The last time we went out…I'm just scared history will repeat itself."

"Why did you two break up in the first place?"

Sam smiled. "That is tomorrow's conversation, remember?"

Patrick laughed and hugged her. "That's true." He sighed happily when she hugged him back. "Don't worry so much, Sammy. I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Thank you, Patrick." She kissed his cheek. "I needed to hear that."

"Oh my! Are you two back together?" Abby shouted. Everyone looked at them with wide eyes. Sam and Patrick took a step away from each other. "Does this mean you two are getting married?"

They stuttered. They were caught off guard by her. Sam felt her chest tighten when she saw Sirius' face. He looked mad as hell. "N-No, we're not together, Abby. We're not getting married." She stuttered.

Abby glared at them. "Why not?" They sighed. "Can't you at least try? Annabelle needs a mother! Don't you want to be her mother, Sammy?"

Patrick groaned. He wished that Abby would stop asking them to get married. It was getting really annoying. "Abigail, that's enough! You know that we are just friends and that she has a boyfriend!"

She whined. "He is just going to hurt her! I heard Chris tell Michael that he…he took a nap with someone else while they were together!" Sirius groaned. Michael blushed. James looked at his father fearfully. Mr. Potter looked like he wanted to kill Sirius. The other adults shifted uncomfortably. "Sammy, can you be Annabelle's mother?"

Sam's face paled. Patrick was staring at her with wide eyes. "Mate, I'm sorry. I didn't know she heard that." Michael said.

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He saw the look on Mr. Potter's face and a sense of fear ran through his body. "He is going to kill me." He muttered.

James nodded. "You'd better run now!"

"Abigail Lewis, get over here right now, young lady!" Her mother yelled. "How dare you embarrass Sam, Patrick, and Sirius like that?"

Abby started to cry. "I-I-I didn't mean to. I just wanted Anna to have a mother."

Patrick looked at Sam. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "I-I think-"

"Sammy?" Mrs. Potter looked at her closely.

Sam bit her lip. She didn't want her parents to know what happened between them. She really wished that Abby didn't say anything. The look on Sirius' face made her want to cry. It looked like he didn't care at all. She knew it was only a matter of time before he broke her heart again. "I think it's time I went home."

She ran to the door but stopped when Patrick grabbed her hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?" She nodded and ran out of the door. He walked over to Sirius. "I don't know what happened between you two and I don't care. She's afraid that you will break up with her again." Sirius' eyes widened. "You better go talk to her… especially before her dad comes over here to kill you."

Sirius looked over and saw Mr. Potter making his way over to him. He looked like he had murder on his mind. "Thanks." He mumbled. Sirius ran out the door. "Sammy, wait up!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter made their way over to James and he gulped. He knew what was coming. "James, was what Abby said true?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner? I'd never have allowed them to get back together if I knew about this!" Mr. Potter yelled.

James sighed. "You couldn't stop it from happening! If they want to be together, they will be. It's true that Sirius made a lot of mistakes while they went out but he does love her. If she forgave him, why can't you?"

Mr. Potter gritted his teeth. "I'll kill him for this!"

"Harold, calm down! We don't know the entire story!"

"Dad, I talked with him about this! He loves her! He made a mistake and she forgave him."

He sneered. "She has a blind spot when it comes to him!" They sighed. "We took him in as one of our own and this is the way he treats her?"

"We'd better go." Mrs. Potter said. They said their goodbyes and left quickly.

Michael sighed. "This is all my fault."

Patrick shook his head. "No, it's not. Whatever happened between them is Sirius' fault. You had nothing to do with this." Michael nodded. "I hope for his sake that Mr. Potter cools down before he gets home."

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Sirius ran up the stairs to Sam's room. Sam ran away quickly and he wasn't able to catch up to her. He knew she would come back home but he didn't know if she would talk to him. He cursed that little girl's name. If she wasn't a ten year old girl, he would have killed her. He reached her door and tried to open it but it was locked. "Sammy, open up! Please, open the door! We need to talk!" He said while banging on the door.

The door open slightly and her face was hidden behind her hair. "What do you want?" She mumbled while looking at the floor.

He sighed. "Are you ok, Baby? You ran out of there before we could talk."

She continued to look at the floor and refused to open the door any wider. "I was caught off guard by Abby." He nodded in agreement. "It also made me realize something."

His breath caught in his throat. "W-What did you realize?"

"It won't work, Sirius."

"What won't work?" She didn't answer him and he felt his heart lurch. "Look at me, Sammy. Tell me what's on your mind."

Sam looked at him and sighed. "We won't work, Sirius. Maybe…maybe we were never supposed to be together. Maybe we were just meant to be friends."

Sirius didn't believe his ears. "Sammy, you can't mean that. You've believed more than anyone, since you were ten, that we belong together. Don't let some little girl make you doubt what we have. I love you, Sammy. Don't walk away from us. Don't give up on us."

She bit her lip. "It's only a matter of time before you break my heart again. It's better to end it now before that happens. You may think that you love me but I don't want to wake up one day and realize that you changed your mind again. I'm sorry but it's over."

He was breathing heavily. He felt like he could kill someone. This was happening because some little brat had a tantrum. "That's not true! You have to know that that's not true! It can't be over! I won't let it!"

"You don't have a choice. I'm walking away before I get in too deep again."

"Sammy, you're just scared! I know it's hard but you've got to trust me. You promised me this morning that you would try! You promised me!"

Sam glared at him. "You promised to always love me and be there for me. You said you wanted your life with me but that didn't stop you from cheating on me! That didn't stop you from destroying and humiliating me like you did!" He took a step back from the door. "I'm not going through that again! I won't let myself go through that again! We had our chance and it was a horrible mistake! We shouldn't put ourselves through that again!"

Sirius put his hand against the door frame to steady himself. He couldn't believe this was happening. "We won't go through that again! We love each other! We can make it work this time! All we have to do is try!"

"What's the point? It will end eventually. We'll live our lives and then we will die. There's no point in making our time painful. We should just move on."

His heart shattered into tiny pieces when she closed and locked the door. He sank to the floor and he banged his head against the door. He heard footsteps run up the stairs and he knew what was coming but he didn't care. He rather felt like dying at that moment than feel like this. Mr. Potter was practically red and steaming. "You son of a bitch!"

Sirius groaned loudly when Mr. Potter picked him up and threw him up against the wall. James and Mrs. Potter tried to get him off of Sirius. "Dad, let him go!" James yelled.

"How could you do that to my little girl? I took you in and loved you like you were my own son! I trusted you with her!"

"Harold, calm down! You're hurting him!"

Mr. Potter growled. "Were you the reason why she was sent away? Is what you did to her the reason she went insane?" _(A/N: Oi vie! How I hate that damn line! Talk about movie of the week worthy!)_

Sirius' eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Yes, I am." He muttered. "It's my fault, sir. You have every right to hate me."

James shook his head. "Mate, you know that that's not true! Dad, talk to Sam. She will make you understand."

"No, she won't." Sirius muttered.

They stared at him. "Why do you say that?" Mrs. Potter asked.

He looked at the floor and sighed. "Sam just broke up with me. She doesn't love me anymore."

Mr. Potter let him go. Sirius looked too pathetic for words. He banged on his daughter's door. "Samantha, open up! We need to talk!"

Sam opened the door and her eyes widened at the scene. "What?"

Mrs. Potter tried to get her to come out but she pulled away. "Sam, we need to know the truth. Did Sirius cheat on you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you need to know?"

James sighed. He hoped she lied. "Sam, _please_, tell them the _truth_."

Sam knew what he meant and sighed. "No, he didn't. Can I go now?"

Mr. Potter eyed her closely. "Don't lie, Sammy."

"I'm not lying. You know Sirius would never dream of cheating on me. He loves me so damn much."

Sirius stared at her in disbelief. "I do love you! You're just too damn thick to realize it!"

Mr. Potter smacked him on the head. "Don't talk to her like that!" He looked at Sam. "Why did you two break up? Why did you just break up with him?"

Sam shrugged. "Things happen." They rolled their eyes. "What do you want me to say? We _were_ in love but stopped. We _thought_ we still did love each other but after what Abby said, I realized it was stupid to live a lie. We were just meant to be friends, that's all!"

She closed the door and locked it again. Mr. Potter was about to knock but Mrs. Potter stopped him. "Leave her alone, Harold. She needs time to be alone right now." He nodded. "I think you owe Sirius an apology."

He sighed. "Sirius, I'm sorry. I was just upset. I hope you know that I do love you. You're like a son to me."

He nodded. "It doesn't matter, sir. I know you were just looking out for her."

"Harold, we need to talk in private right now."

They left and Sirius sunk back to the ground. James looked at his friend closely. Sirius looked so upset and hurt. "What happened?" Sirius told him everything she said and James groaned. "I love my sister a lot but she can be such a git!" He sat down next to him. "She'll come around, mate. Sam loves you. It was just fear talking."

Sirius shrugged. He leaned his head back against the wall and stared at nothing. "She doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't love me, Prongs."

"Yes, she does! I know she does! Do you want me to talk to her?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to stay here until she comes out. I need her to realize she is wrong."

James smiled. "Do you want some company?"

Sirius smirked. "No, I'm alright. You can leave." He nodded and left. Sirius looked at her door lazily and knocked. "Did you hear that, Samantha? I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me!" She didn't answer and he sighed loudly.

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Sam stretched out in her bed as she yawned. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and saw that it was dark outside. She spent the day in her room and refused to come out. She heard Sirius yell through the door that he wasn't going to leave until she talked to him. She refused to come out for dinner because she didn't want to see him. Sam knew that he was just being stubborn. He would just break her heart again. She fell asleep after some time and dreamt of him. She smiled at the dream and sighed. In the dream, they were happy. Sam, in the dream, knew she could trust him and they had no fears about being together. In the dream, she knew that they would always be together. She got out of bed and groaned. It was in the middle of the night and she felt like she needed to shower. She opened the door and stopped when she saw Sirius asleep on the floor. He looked cold. She rolled her eyes and got a spare blanket from her room and put it around his body. She walked into the bathroom and ran the shower. She didn't see him smiling.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam walked out of the bathroom holding her towel tightly to her body. Sirius was still asleep on the floor. She sighed. "You just won't give up, will you?" She muttered as she shut the door. Sam walked into her room and got changed. She brushed her long wet hair before pulling it into a loose bun. Her stomach growled and she knew she had to eat something. She opened the door and gasped. Sirius was standing right in front of her, holding the blanket. Sam tried to close the door but he wedged his body between the door and the doorframe. "Go away, Sirius!" She grunted.

Sirius pushed as hard as he could. "No, I won't!" He pushed against the door and she stumbled before falling onto her bed. He shut the door and locked it. He raised his wand and put up a silencing charm. "You have to listen to me!"

She sat up and glared at him. "No, I don't!"

"Samantha, stop being so damn stubborn!"

"Sirius, stop being an ass!"

He smirked. "I love you!"

"I-"

"Love me too?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I was going to say that I'm hungry! I'm going to go downstairs and get something to eat. I want you gone before I get back!"

"I'm not leaving! I said I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me!"

"I don't want to talk to you! I want you to leave!"

"That's just too damn bad! I'm not going anywhere!"

She groaned. "What do you want?"

"I want you!"

"You want me to what?"

It was his turn to groan. "I just want you! I love you, Sam! Why don't you understand that?"

Sam shook her head. "I do understand that! I just know it won't last!"

"How do you know? You didn't even try! We are meant to be! We love each other!"

"Sirius-"

He stopped her from continuing. "Don't say another word! You have to hear me out!" She nodded reluctantly. "Are you going to let me speak?"

"Yes, but make it fast!"

Sirius sighed and kneeled in front of her. He placed his hands on her knees and looked at her closely. She was looking at the ground but he made her look at him. "I can tell you that I love you and want only you until I'm blue in the face but it won't make a difference. I could propose right now and we could get married but every morning you wake up, you'll keep wondering if that is the day I'm going to leave you. Is that the day I stop loving you?" She bit her lip in response. "Sam, I don't know how to get you to trust me again. I don't deserve your trust or your love but I need it. I need you in my life. I love being your friend but I need to be more to you. I want you to trust me. I want you to love me unconditionally, like you used to, and I want you to need me just as much as I need you."

"Sirius, I-"

"Let me finish." Sam nodded slowly. "I've made many mistakes when it came to us. I will always regret hurting you. I will always be terrified that you will want me out of your life for good." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I know for a fact that I love you. I know for a fact that I want my life to be with you. I've said this all before but it doesn't stop it from being true. I want you to be with me. We are always going to have problems coming at us from all directions, there's no avoiding it, but we have to fight for us. We have to fight to be together. When we were first together, we didn't really try. We thought it was going to be easy because we've been friends for a long time. Now we knew that we are going to have to work as hard as hell to make sure that this works out. We are going to have to fight against whatever comes in our way. I know we can over come anything if we stick together. As long as we are willing to try and make this work…we can do this, Sammy! I know we can!"

He looked at her with pleading and expectant eyes. "Am I allowed to speak now?" He nodded. Sam sighed. "You really hurt me." He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "It's my turn to talk, ok?" He nodded. "You really hurt me. I thought…I thought that there was nothing you could do to make me stop loving you." His breathing slowed. "Even when I hated you, I still loved you but it wasn't the same as before. What you did and what you said, it put some limitations on my heart. I'm not the same person that would freely and openly love. I've realized that having my heart broken twice…in a span of a year…it made me cautious. I want to trust you again. I need to trust you again. A part of me will always doubt you. A part of me will always have this nagging feeling the back of my mind that you want to leave." He lowered his head in defeat. "A part of me will just have to get over itself." He looked up in confusion and saw her with a small smile on her face. "I love you. I love you so damn much that I swear it will drive me up the damn walls. I need you in my life. I love being your friend but I need you to be more. I need and want you as much as you need and want me. If you are willing to fight for us then I'm willing."

Sirius held her face in his hands. "Do you really mean that?" She smiled and nodded. He kissed her with such force that she yelped. He crawled onto the bed and his knees straddled her thighs. He gently pushed her back on the bed and caressed her neck. "You won't regret it. I won't let you. I'll make you a promise." She looked at him eagerly. "I promise that if I go insane and stop trying to make it work, you can hex off my balls."

She giggled and nodded. "Ok, that sounds good to me. What will happen if I stop trying?"

"Then you will be cursed." Her eyes widened. He laughed. "You will be cursed by the knowledge that no matter where you go or what you do, I'll still love you. My heart will always be in your hands and there's no way you can give it back. You will be cursed with the knowledge that everyday that passes and you aren't with me, I will be in agony. That I will be madly in love with you until my dying day and completely heart broken and devastated because you aren't with me."

Sam felt tears fall down her face and Sirius wiped them away quickly. "Baby, I don't want you to be in pain. I don't want to be the reason why you're sad."

Sirius kissed her softly and lay on top of her. "I won't be in pain as long as you keep fighting for us. As long as you stay with me, I won't ever be sad."

"I-I'll keep fighting, Sirius. I'll never truly leave you."

He pulled down her hair and smiled. "That's all I ask."

She signed in content when he kissed her. Her hands ran up and down his side and back. Sirius tangled his fingers in her wet hair and deepened the kiss. His leg was in between hers and a few dry strands of hair curled around his knuckles. One of her legs wrapped around his back. His fingers danced at the top of her pajama bottoms. She put a hand on his. "Sirius…?"

Sirius stopped moving. He saw her looking at him in a way he had never seen before. It felt like she was staring into his soul and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. "What's the matter? Do you want me to stop?"

Sam let out a slow breath as she guided his hand down her pajama bottoms. "Please, go slow."

"I-I'll go slow. I'll do whatever you need me to." She took off her t-shirt and covered her exposed chest with her arms. He stared at her curiously when she blushed. He tried to move her arm away from her chest but her grip tightened. He smiled. "Baby, why are you doing that? I hope you realize that every time we've been together, I've seen you naked. And, don't forget that wonderful day, after you came back from Paris, Remus and I saw you in the bathroom right after your shower. Plus the night you and Moony broke up…when you hugged me tightly without realizing you were still naked." Her blush grew. "Why are you hiding from me like this? I've seen you before, why can't I see you now?"

She looked so embarrassed and a little bit ashamed. "You…you haven't really seen me like this since we broke up and…" He smiled encouragingly at her. "You haven't seen me like this s-since the attack."

Understanding dawned on him. "Do you think I won't look at you in the same way because of what happened?"

Sam bit her lip. "I-I have s-scars from b-being tortured by S-Severus. I-I have them on my chest and stomach. I-I have b-bruises on my arms and thighs. I-I'm s-scared that if you s-see them…if you see what he did to me…"

Sirius' blood boiled. She was so shaken by what happened still, and understandably so, that she didn't want him to see her. Her eyes widened when she saw anger spread across his face. He saw her reaction and he knew she felt him shake with rage. "Sammy, don't be afraid of me. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at him. What he did to my Sammy breaks my heart. I could kill him for what he has done to you. I could kill him for what he tried to do to my Sammy. You don't have to be afraid anymore. You have me to protect you." She still looked a little scared and unsure. He caressed her cheek. "We don't have to do anything if you aren't ready. I don't mind waiting."

"I want more than anything to be with you again. It's just that…"

"You still are afraid of me seeing your scars and bruises." She nodded slowly. He sighed as he looked at her. He rolled over and lay next to her. He wiped away the fresh tears that escaped her eyes. "Show me, Sammy." She gave him a curious look. "I want you to show me the scars and bruises." She had a pained expression on her face. "Please, show me, Sammy. I want to see them so I can help you."

Sam sighed. "I don't know about this."

He kissed her forehead. "It will be ok, Sammy. You don't have to worry."

She nodded and stood up. He sat up and watched her closely. Tears fell down her face as she stood in front of him naked. Her body shook slightly as he looked at her body. His fingertips traced the scars lightly and he kissed them. Her breathing shaky when she felt his hands on her thighs. He touched the bruises. Sirius looked away from the bruises and stared at her face. Her eyes were close and her cheeks were damp. He placed his hands on her back and pulled her closer. His lips were soft against her skin as he, once again, traced the scars with his mouth and tongue. Her eyes opened and she saw him staring at her. Her hands ran over his hair before she ran her fingers through it. His eyes closed at her touch and sighed in content. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered. He felt her lips hover over his and he waited in agony for her to lean in. She kissed his lips and her body shook when his tongue slowly slid between her lips. His hands massaged the back of her neck. He pulled away and she looked at him with uncertainty. She covered her body with her arms but he pulled them away. "Don't do that, Baby."

Sam stared at him closely and bit her lip when his arms tightened around her hips. "Why?"

Sirius leaned up and kissed her. His hands ran up and down her back. "You're beautiful, Sammy." She looked away but he made her look at him. "I mean it, Baby. The scars and bruises don't mean anything. Yes, the way you got them was horrible but they are a part of you now. I love every inch of you. I love every part of you. Let me love every part of you, Baby."

"Y-You really mean that?"

He smiled. "I really do." She gave him a small smile. "I love you so much, Samantha. I love everything about you."

Her smile grew. "I love you too, Sirius." She kissed him softly. "Promise me that you love me."

"I promise, Sammy. I swear on my life that I always will."

She sat down next to him and sighed. "Promise me that you'll go slow."

"We don't have to do anything." She crossed her arms protectively around her chest. "It's not because of the scars and bruises, Baby. I just don't want to rush you into anything that you aren't ready for."

Sam nodded before kissing him again. "I'm ready to be with you again, Sirius. Just promise that you will go slow."

He nodded. "I promise. I'll do anything you need or want me to."

"I need and want you to make love to me." _(A/N: Where do I come up with this crap?)_

Sirius nodded and smiled. He got undressed before guiding her to lie down on her bed. She stared at him with wide eyes. Her face was on fire as she took the sight of him in. He blushed lightly. "Y-You don't like what you see?"

She shook her head. "N-No, I don't." His face fell. "I love what I see. You're so beautiful, Sirius."

His blush grew. He positioned himself on top of her and kissed her neck. "I love you, Sammy." His hands slid up in between her thighs and she gasped. "You're my everything." He nibbled her chin. "I'd die a thousand times just so you could live one more day." Her breath quickened. "I'd die for you, Sammy."

Sam looked into his eyes before kissing him. "I die for you, Sirius." They began and he missed the meaning of her words.


	46. Chapter 45: One True Thing

Author's Note: Hello! I would like to, once again, thank my best friend/beta for all her support and for all of her help. I really appreciate and I'm so glad she is my best friend. Now about the chapter, it's more of the fluff crap. I'm sorry. You may not like it or whatever but what can I say? It will be this way for a few more chapters…I think. I wrote this stuff months ago. Anyway, the good drama is coming! I can promise you that. I hope you stick around to read it. If not, then I appreciate you sticking around this long. Just so you know, I can get to this site but I can't read any emails because my internet/comp is just evil like that. So, if anyone reviews to this crap, I'll check the site daily and respond as quick as I can, ok? This has been going on for a few months and it's starting…ok, it's past starting, to grate on my nerves. I hope to have the problem fixed soon enough. I hope you enjoy this chapter but if you don't, I still would like to hear from you. Until next time…

Chapter 45: One True Thing.

Sam sighed happily as she rested her head against Sirius' bare chest. She heard his heart racing and a small smile formed on her face because she knew it was because she was with him. Her nails glided across his chest and she heard him sigh in his sleep. Sam looked at him and lightly laughed as his mouth hung open. Sirius looked so peaceful and incredibly cute at that moment. She touched his face and giggled when he grabbed her hand. "How long have you been awake?"

Sirius' eyes opened and he smiled at her. It felt so good to feel her bare skin against his. "Once you started touching my face. Why aren't you asleep?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." He gave her a knowing smile. She sighed. "I was afraid that if I fell asleep and then woke up, you would be gone. I was afraid that what happened between us tonight was just an incredible dream."

His smile grew. "It was incredible, huh?" She rolled her eyes and he laughed. "It wasn't a dream, Sammy. What happened between us was very real." Sam kissed him. He ran his fingers through her hair as their kiss deepened. "That feels so good when you do that." He muttered.

Sam stared at him as his eyes started to close. "Sirius, can I ask you something?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now."

He sighed and smiled. "What do you want to ask me, Baby?" She hesitated and he sighed again. "Can I ask you something first?" She nodded. "Why did you tell Patrick that you thought I was going to break up with you?"

Sam shrugged. "I saw the look on your face when you saw me holding Anna. I knew that look on your face very well."

"What look on my face?"

They sat up and he wrapped his arms around her. "Y-You looked…upset. You looked absolutely terrified. It looked like you were feeling trapped again." He sighed. "I thought that when you saw me with Anna…I thought that you thought I was trying to pressure you into something you weren't ready for." He shook his head aggressively. "When I hugged you, you barely smiled. When Abby was shouting about Patrick and I getting married, you looked pissed as hell. When she told everyone what happened between us…it looked like you couldn't careless. That's why I ran away. That's why I broke up with you. I didn't want to go through the pain of you leaving me again."

Sirius kissed her temple. "You wanted to break things off before I did." She nodded. He smiled at her as he put his hand under her chin and brought her face up to his. He kissed her. "All the things you said are untrue." Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I walked into the hospital wing and saw Patrick all over you." He stopped her from arguing. "That's what it looked like to me. Your dad and James told me to calm down before I walked over to you. I saw how comfortable you looked with those kids in your arms. I saw…you and Patrick looked like their parents. You looked like a happy family. I was upset but not for the reason you think. I was upset because at that moment I wanted to be Patrick. I wanted to be the one with you surrounded by kids. I was beyond upset and could not form any words. When…Abby said you and Patrick were back together, I was mad! I believed her! I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. I thought you wanted him." She shook her head. "When she said what I did to you…I was surprised. I was scared as hell that your parents were going to kill me and they almost did! When you ran out of the room…I thought I lost you for good. I almost did. When you broke up with me…my heart broke. Being with you, in every sense of the word, means more to me than you know. I want to be the one who comes home to you every night. I want to be the one you share your life with." She gulped. "I want to be the one that is the father to your children. I want all that with you."

"I can't have kids, Sirius." She muttered.

His eyes widened. "Y-You can't? Is it because of the attack?"

She shook her head. "It's not because of that. I can have children but I can't let myself get pregnant."

"Why not?"

"I could have to greatest son or daughter but what if they have a daughter? That child would become what I am. I couldn't live with myself if that happened to our granddaughter."

Sirius nodded. "I understand what you mean, but we could help her. You could help her understand. You could help her with her…uh…visions. We can explain to her what to do."

Sam looked at him and sighed. "I don't know why we are talking about this now. It's not like we're married or anything. It shouldn't matter."

"It does matter! I want more than anything to have a child with you!"

Her chin trembled. She knew she wouldn't be alive long enough for that to happen. "We could adopt. Muggles do it all the time!" She inwardly groaned. She spoke before she could stop herself. She was making him promises that she knew she couldn't keep. "Why don't we just go to sleep or something?"

He sighed. "I don't want to adopt! I want a child with you that we created! We could tell our children about you being a dream seer. They would know what to expect. Sammy, we could make them understand."

"You are talking like we have children! We are only teenagers! We don't have to worry about any of this now! It's not like we are engaged or married!"

Sirius looked at her. "Fine, let's get engaged! That way we could talk about this!"

She rolled her eyes. "That's a great reason to get engaged!"

"We always do this!" He sighed. "Every time we have a nice moment, we wind up arguing about something!"

"Well then I guess we should just break-"

He put a finger on her lips to stop her from finishing that sentence. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Samantha! We promised not to give up on each other no matter what!" She nodded. "I love you and I couldn't take it if you broke up with me again."

Sam smiled. "I'm sorry, Baby. I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't. I just want you to know how committed I am to us." Her smile grew. He kissed her. "I want you to make me a promise." She nodded. "It's a big promise." She nodded again. "It's a huge promise."

She giggled and pushed his shoulder. "Just tell me, Baby!"

Sirius laughed and smiled. "I want you to promise me that the day after you leave Hogwarts…we will get married."

Her eyes widened. "W-What?"

"Promise me that after you are done with school we will get married."

"Sirius, you don't have to say that. We are already together! There's no reason to make promises that you aren't ready to keep."

He sighed. "I'm ready for this, Sammy. I'm completely ready for this."

"Think about this rationally. You've proposed twice before. In the end, they didn't work out."

Sirius shook his head. "I know that that's true but it's different this time. I'm not saying we get married tomorrow but the day after you leave Hogwarts we will! I want my life with you. I'd gladly marry you tomorrow because it would bring me such joy to know that we will always belong to each other. You have my heart forever, Samantha. You are my everything. My soul…I'd die without you in my life. Please, promise me. Promise me because you want to be with me and not because I'm begging you to."

Sam was quiet for a few moments while she thought this over. Sirius waited in agony. "You would have to ask my father's permission, of course." He smiled and nodded. "Do you really mean this? Do you really want to marry me?"

"I really mean it! I really want to marry you!"

She smiled. "I promise, Sirius."

"Y-You do?"

She nodded. "I do promise to marry you, Sirius." She sighed as her heart broke. She would love more than anything to grow old with him and watch their children with their children. "I love you so much."

Sirius cheered and jumped on top of her. She giggled when he kissed her all over. "You've just made me the happiest man in the entire world! I'll ask your dad's permission tomorrow!" Her eyes widened and he smiled. "I mean it! I'll even ask your mum and James' permission to show you that I'm serious about this! I love you so much! I'll make you happy!"

Sam smiled. "I know that. You already make me happy."

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Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter, and James were surprised when Sam and Sirius came down the stairs smiling and holding hands. "Samantha, it's so good to see you out of your room." Mrs. Potter said.

Sam smiled at them. Sirius pulled out her chair and kissed the top of her head. She laughed when he kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Mama."

James smirked at them. It made him want to laugh when he saw Sirius place food on her plate. She kissed his cheek in thanks and James was surprised as hell when Sirius blushed. "You two seem to have worked things out."

Sirius smiled when she rested her head on his shoulder. "Yes, we did. We had a very long talk last night and we decided it was stupid to end things." They nodded. Mr. and Mrs. Potter shared a grave look that went unnoticed. "There's something I have to ask you all. It's very important."

Sam looked at him in surprise. "You're asking them now?" He nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

They stared at the pair expectantly. "What do you need to ask us, son?" Mr. Potter asked.

He felt his hands begin to sweat. This was the big moment. They were staring at him closely and he felt Sam shift awkwardly next to him. "Sammy and I were talking last night…and…"

She gulped. Her family was staring at them expectantly. Sirius looked pale. "You don't have to do this now if you aren't ready. It's ok if you aren't." She whispered in his ear.

Sirius turned to her and his face regained its color. "I'm ready. I'm just a little nervous." He whispered. She nodded slowly. "Mum, Dad, James, I-I want your permission to marry Sam." Their eyes widened. "I asked her to promise me last night that we would get married after she finishes school. Will you give us your blessing?"

They looked like three statues. "W-What…?" Mrs. Potter stuttered.

He smiled. "I love Samantha with all my heart. I know that I made mistakes when we first got together but I've changed. She means everything to me. I want my life to be with her. She means everything to me and I hope you know that." He took Sam's hand in his and squeezed it. "We know that we love each other and we want to be together."

Mrs. Potter blinked rapidly. "Are you sure about this? With everything that has happened, isn't this a little fast? You two just got back together again."

Sam's face fell. "You aren't happy for us?" They shook their heads. "Jimmybean, what do you think? Are you happy for us?"

James ignored the stares of his parents and smiled. He walked around the table and hugged them. "I think it's brilliant!" They smiled at him. "You two make each other happy and that's all that matters. I'm just surprised as hell!" They laughed. He looked at Sirius. "I thought you were going to wait to ask her at the end of the year."

He wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders and smiled. "I couldn't wait! It made sense to ask her."

He smirked at his best friend. "You better treat her right!" Sirius nodded. "You better treat him right." Sam smiled and nodded. "I can't believe this! We're going to be brothers!" Sirius laughed. "This is brilliant!"

Sam hugged him tightly and they pulled Sirius into the hug. "Do you really mean it, Jimmybean?"

James nodded eagerly. "I mean it, Sammy. You two are perfect for each other!"

They turned to look at their parents. "Can we have your blessing?" Sirius asked.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter stood up and hugged their children. "Of course you can." Mr. Potter muttered. "As long as you are sure about this."

"We're sure about this, Daddy. We love each other."

He smiled and held his daughter. "My little girl is getting married."

Sam laughed. "He didn't really propose. I'm not engaged yet."

Sirius' eyes widened. "I asked you to promise. That is technically a proposal."

James rolled his eyes. "It doesn't count, mate."

He shrugged. "I needed Dad's permission first and I need a ring. I didn't really prepare for this, ok?"

"That's obvious!" He said while rolling his eyes again. Sirius smacked him upside the head and he hit back. They continued hitting each other and didn't stop until Mr. Potter separated them while laughing. "You're such a git!" James said with a smile.

Sirius smirked. "At least I'm not a ponce like you!"

Sam rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Sirius' waist. She kissed his bare shoulder and smiled when his arms surrounded her. "You two are the biggest prats!"

Mr. Potter laughed. "Remember sweetheart, you are talking about your best friend and brother and the man you are sort of engaged to."

She laughed. "That makes me a prat as well, I suppose." She shrugged and snuggled closer to Sirius. He smiled and kissed her temple. "I can't say that I really mind."

Mrs. Potter sighed. "Well, you better not. You're going to be stuck with him for life."

Sirius picked her up and smiled. "Did you hear that? You're stuck with me for life!"

Sam wrapped her legs around his waist and laughed. "I'm not deaf, you git!" He kissed her neck. "You better stop that! My dear father looks like he is about to hit you!"

He gulped as he let her down gently. "I love you, Daddy." Sirius said.

Mr. Potter's mouth twitched. "I love you too, son, but watch where you put your hands on my little girl."

"I'm sure he watches exactly where his hands go on her." James grumbled.

The others stared at him. Sirius and Sam tried very hard not to laugh. "What was that, young man?" Mrs. Potter glared at him.

"I didn't say a word, Mum." He muttered.

"As much fun as it is to see James squirm, I've got to go get ready to meet Patrick." Sam said.

Sirius' eyes widened. "You're meeting with him?" She nodded. "Will it…just be the two of you or will other people be there in close proximity?"

She laughed and kissed his cheek. "You're so cute." He smiled. "I'll be visiting Michael first. His whole family will be there. Patrick asked me to take a walk around the grounds afterwards. We will most likely be alone on our walk but that shouldn't matter."

"You don't have to explain yourself to this git, Sammy." James said with a smile.

She smiled while Sirius rolled his eyes. "I know that I don't have to. I just want him to know that I will be safe at school with Patrick. Nothing is going to happen."

Sirius held her closely. "Thank you for that. I trust you, Sammy. I just don't trust that walking building near you. He seemed a little too comfortable with my woman yesterday."

James laughed loudly. "Your woman?" He calmed down and nodded. "He did seem to keep touching you. What was that all about?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "It was nothing. He probably just wanted to make sure that I didn't fall while holding Anna." Even her parents rolled their eyes at her explanation. She laughed. "What do you want me to say? I don't know why he kept hugging me and I don't care. It doesn't matter to me because I know for a fact that nothing will happen. I'm too in love with this git right here." She said while hugging Sirius.

He laughed and kissed her. "I love you too, prat." She smiled. "Is there any reason why you are going for a walk with him?" She rolled her eyes. "What? I was just curious!"

Mr. Potter smiled. "I understand that you want to protect her but you need to control your jealousy."

"Good luck with that one." James and Sam said in unison. They laughed.

Sirius groaned. "I was just curious!"

She slapped his arm. "You're completely impossible!" He shrugged. "We are going on the walk to catch up, that's all!" She looked at the clock on the wall and gasped. "I better go get dressed or I'll be late!"

Sirius and James ran after her after she slapped them on their heads. "I'd love to help you with your clothes!" Sirius laughed.

"Sirius Phineas Black, you better not go into my daughter's room when she is…uh…indecent!" Mr. Potter yelled.

They heard James' laugh. "She is always indecent, Dad!" They heard him groan. "Ow! Damn it, Samantha! That hurt!" She laughed.

"What did she do now, James?" Mr. Potter asked.

"She kicked my shin! I say ground her!" They heard a loud thud. "Get the hell off me, you dick!" They heard the children laughing and what sounded like wrestling. "I'll get you two back for this!"

"Stop being such a wuss, Prongs!"

"We aren't doing anything to you, Jimmybean!"

"Dad, help me! They are typing me up and trying to put lipstick on me!"

Mr. Potter ran up the stairs and started laughing hysterically. Sirius was typing James' hands together while Sam held a lipstick tube in her hands. James was struggling while trying not to laugh. "What are you two doing to your brother?"

They looked up and tried to look as innocent as possible but failed miserably when they started laughing. "We are playing dress up, Daddy. It's James' turn to be the girl." Sam laughed.

He smiled at the sight of them. They were growing up so fast. "As funny as this is, you have to let him go." They nodded and let him go. James punched Sirius in the arm and tickled Sam. "Sweetheart, don't you have to get ready to go to school?"

Her eyes widened. "For Merlin's sake, I almost forgot! I've got to go get dressed!"

Sirius tried to follow her into her room but Mr. Potter grabbed his arm. "Nice try, Sirius."

He smiled. "I was only going to help her pick out an outfit. Something that would cover her completely so Patrick won't get any ideas."

James smirked. "Get over it, mate! Nothing will happen." Sirius nodded. "I have to buy Lily a Christmas present. Do you want to go to Diagon Alley with me?"

"You forgot to get your girlfriend a Christmas present? Nicely done, moron! Nothing like waiting until Christmas eve to get something."

He rolled his eyes. "And what exactly did you get Sam?"

Sirius' smirked faded. "Oh shit! I forgot to get her something! She is going to kill me!"

Mr. Potter laughed at them. "That's what you get for dating two quick tempered women." They nodded eagerly. "I'll take you two to Diagon Alley."

"You don't have to, Dad. We can go by ourselves." James said.

He grinned. "I forgot to get your mother something." They laughed.

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Sam fastened her belt and put some lip gloss on before smiling. She picked up her jacket off of her bed but stopped when her door opened. Mrs. Potter closed the door behind her and smiled. "Hello Samantha."

"Hello Mama. I was just about to leave."

"Can we talk for a moment before you leave?"

She nodded and they sat down on her bed. "Is everything ok?"

"We have something important to discuss."

"What is it, Mama?"

Mrs. Potter sighed. "I don't know how to say this but…" She took a deep breath. "Are you sure about marrying Sirius?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "Of course I am! I love him so much! He makes me so happy, Mama!" Her mother sighed again and Sam's face fell. "You aren't happy for us, are you?"

"You know I love Sirius and I love you. I just want you to make sure that this is the right thing."

"We love each other. This is the right thing to do. We want to be together forever!"

She closed her eyes. "You don't have forever, Sammy."

She bit her lip. "I know that but I still have enough time to marry him. We will have some time together."

"Have you told him about…this?"

"No, I haven't. He wouldn't understand."

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "Sirius has a right to know. He loves you, sweetheart. You have to be fair to him."

Sam's chin trembled. "He won't understand. He would try…he could get himself killed if he found out. I can't tell him when or how. If I told him who…Mama, I can't tell him."

"You are leading him on. I still love him after what he did to you-"

"W-What do you mean by that?"

She gave her daughter a knowing look. "I'm not naïve, Sammy. I know he cheated on you. I know Remus cheated on you after you thought you were pregnant. They broke my little girl's heart so deeply that I honestly and truly hated them. I still have some resentment towards them but I love them as if they were my own. I can forgive them because you have forgiven them. It's hard not to tell your father everything so he could hex them to oblivion but I didn't."

She smiled. "I'm not speaking to Remus right now. It doesn't matter what happened but I think its best that we go our separate ways for a while. I needed to forgive Sirius. I love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my time with him."

"Don't you think things are moving too fast? You two just got back together again."

"I love him, Mama. I want my life to be with him. He truly loves me this time. I know he does. Can't you try and be happy for us?"

"I can be, sweetheart." She walked to the door but stopped before leaving. "If you do really love him then be fair to him. He has a right to know the truth." She left.

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Patrick stared at Sam wide eyed. They had a brief visit with Michael before getting kicked out by Madam Pomfrey. They went to the Great Hall and got coffee and took a walk around the grounds. She had just told him everything that happened in the last three years with Remus and Sirius. He blinked a few times and stopped walking. She stared at him closely. "Patrick, are you ok?"

He shook his head in disbelief. "T-They did all that to you?" She nodded. "You still forgave them after all that?"

She shrugged. "I love them, Patrick. They are a big part of my life. Sirius and I have and had a lot of problems but we are trying to work through it. We are trying to make our relationship work."

"Are you sure he is worth it?"

"Yes, I am. I love him and we want to get married. We plan to after I finish school."

Patrick choked on his coffee and coughed. She patted his back until he calmed down. "You're engaged?"

"Sort of. He asked me to promise to say yes. He asked my parents and James' permission. When the time is right, he will propose." He nodded. "I think I've talked enough. It's your turn to tell me what's been going on for the past three years."

He groaned. "Do I have to?"

She laughed. "Yes, you do! I told you my story! It's only fair that you tell me yours! That was the deal, wasn't it?"

Patrick smiled and hugged her. "That's true." She smiled and hugged him back. "Ok, where do I begin?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "How about from the beginning like I did, you git?" He laughed. "I started from the day we broke up, why don't you do the same thing?"

He sighed and rested his arm around her shoulders. She smiled encouragingly at him as she wrapped an arm around his waist. "The day we broke up was the best and worst day of my life." She punched his arm. He laughed. "I didn't mean it like that!" She nodded. "I was happy that you broke up with me because it meant that I wouldn't have to go through with the bet. I was terrified of sleeping with you because I was a virgin too." She smiled. "Don't get me wrong, you were and are hot." She blushed. "I just didn't want to sleep with you for a bet. I hope you know that I really did and still do care for you."

Sam sighed. "I know that now, Patrick."

Patrick nodded. "Well, after my _dear_ friends told everyone how you broke up with me and threatened us, I was the laughing stock of the school! People made so much fun of me for being terrified of some little third year. They, obviously, hadn't met you at that point." She laughed. "Well, I guess nothing really happened to me for a while after that. I, mainly, stuck close to my friends and got rejected by every girl even if I didn't ask them out."

"I'm sorry for that."

He shrugged. "It's not your fault. I was the ass that agreed to the bet. Everyone found out about the bet and the girls didn't want to waste their time with someone like me. It wasn't until I took the O.W.L.'s that I saw her."

"Who?"

Patrick smiled. "Her name was Jennifer Lynch."

"She was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She was a great chaser before she quit with no explanation."

"I knew her because she was in my year but I never noticed her. That changed after exams. She was by the lake with her friends and I swear I almost fell to the ground when I saw her. Jennifer looked so beautiful as she laughed with her friends. After that I tried to get her to go out with me but she turned me down cold. She said she didn't want to waste her time on some pathetic git who made a bet about taking some innocent third year's virginity. She said I was a creep and I deserved to be hexed by you and your brother and his friends."

She winced. "Ouch! That had to hurt!"

He laughed. "Oh, it did! It didn't stop me though. I just had to be with her. The moment I saw her I knew she was the one for me." Sam smiled. She felt the same exact way about Sirius. "I wrote to her every day before school ended. I bared my soul to her and didn't care if she thought I was crazy. It was the day school ended when she finally agreed to go out with me. It may have taken over a week to get her to agree but it felt like an eternity. I honestly thought it would never happen. We visited each other and wrote to each other over the summer. Sammy, I was and still am so in love with her! She made me feel like I could do anything. We were together for a year and almost a half before I proposed. I thought I had died and gone to heaven when she said yes. I was so happy! Everything seemed to be working out before…"

"Before what?"

"Jennifer was a virgin. I knew and accepted this. She wanted to wait until we got married. I loved and respected her enough not to push. One night, we found ourselves in the Room of Requirement. It's this room that-"

Sam smirked and winked at him. "I know the room well."

He blushed and nodded. "We were about to sleep together but she stopped. She said she loved me but still wanted to wait. I don't know why but I got upset. I told her that if she really loved me that she would sleep with me."

"Patrick, you didn't!"

Patrick hung his head in shame. "I did. Jennifer started to cry and said that if I really loved her then I wouldn't push. We had a big fight and she broke up with me. I was so upset that I could barely eat or sleep. I got drunk one night and wandered the halls." She paled. It reminded her of Remus. "I ran into Sarah Rudolph and we found ourselves on the astronomy tower." He sighed. "We slept together and it was the worst mistake of my life."

She couldn't breath. "Please, tell me this isn't true."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Do you know that girl that Sirius cheated on me with?" He nodded. "It was Sarah. They slept together twice…on the astronomy tower."

Patrick's lips pursed together and nodded. "I didn't know that. I'm sorry." She shrugged. "Jennifer came up to me the next day and apologized. She said she loved me and it was stupid to end things. We got back together but I didn't tell her about what happened. It was a week before Valentine's Day when Sarah told me she was pregnant. I felt like my world ended. Our parents told us we had to get married." He took a deep breath. "Jennifer…she was so upset when I told her. She slapped me over and over again and called me a disgusting creep. She said she would never forgive me."

"I'm so sorry, Patrick."

He bit back a sob. "Sarah and I were married in March. We snuck away from school and…" Sam rubbed his back. "Sarah hid her pregnancy with a concealment charm. She kept telling me that I ruined her life and that she hated me. I thought the same thing about her. I missed Jennifer so much that I told her that I would leave Sarah once the baby was born so we could be together. I told her I would meet her after the Quidditch finals for her answer. She quit the team before the finals. She…she said that I had betrayed her and that she couldn't bring herself to trust me again."

She wrapped her arms around him tightly as he sobbed. "You don't have to continue, sweetie."

"Yes, I do." She nodded. "Sarah gave birth prematurely. The day after I finished school I became a father. Sarah said that she didn't want anything to do with Anna. She wouldn't even hold her let alone look at her. We got divorced and I haven't spoken to her since." He shook his head and held Sam tighter. "I-I saw Jennifer in September. I was in Diagon Alley with Anna and bumped into her. It was awkward at first. She told me about working at the Daily Prophet and I told her about working at Gringotts. Jennifer told me about how she was seeing someone after I told her what happened with Sarah and literally begged her to come back to me. I may hate myself and Sarah for what happened but I love my daughter more than life itself. When I held her in my arms and she held onto my finger, she stole my heart."

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

She bit her lip and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I broke up with Michael in April and he slept with Sarah that night. If she was pregnant then how could she have slept with him?"

His eyes widened. "They slept together in April?"

"Y-You didn't know?"

He shook his head. "No, I didn't." She opened her mouth to defend Michael but he stopped her. "It doesn't matter. To answer your question, Sarah was in the end of her second trimester. Women can have sex up until their seventh month of pregnancy."

Sam sighed and hugged him. "Patrick, I'm sorry. I wish Jennifer would give you another chance. You made a mistake and got the greatest little girl that adores you out of it. She should find it in her heart to forgive you. Patrick, you deserve to be happy and Anna deserves a mother. I want you to be happy. I wish there was something I could do to help you."

Patrick looked at her. "Do you really mean that, Sammy?" She nodded eagerly. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Sam's eyes widened and immediately pushed him away. He groaned. Patrick stepped closer to her but she stepped back. "Sammy, I'm sorry."

"Why did you do that? You know that I'm with Sirius." She said in a small voice.

"I-I know that. It's just being here at Hogwarts with you and talking about the past…you saying how much you adore Anna and think she deserves a great mother…" He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't ask you out here to kiss you. I haven't been with anyone since Sarah. As much as I love my daughter, I still feel lonely. I guess I just needed to feel something with someone."

Sam bit her lip and nodded. "I-I understand that, Patrick. I felt the same way after Sirius and I broke up." She sighed. "I do care for you. I love how mature you've become. You've become such a great man and you are a great father to Anna. I'd be so honored if she was my daughter, but she isn't."

He nodded. "I know. I really wish you were her mother instead of Sarah. At least I know you would love her like a mother should. You already do and you just met her yesterday." She smiled. "Are you going to tell Sirius about what I did?"

She nodded. "I have to. We promised not to keep anything from each other anymore. I will make him understand that it didn't mean anything. It was just a mistake."

Patrick laughed. "He is going to want to kill me. He won't let you come to visit Michael by yourself again!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Sirius will want to kill you but I won't let him. He doesn't let me do anything. He doesn't have a say in who I choose to be friends with. You don't have to worry." She hugged him. "I want to be friends with you, Patrick."

He held her. "I'd love to be friends with you too."

She smiled and pulled away. "I should be going now. Sirius will be expecting me home soon." He nodded and walked her to Dumbledore's office.

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Sirius and James walked around Diagon Alley aimlessly. Mr. Potter walked off to find a present for his wife. James had gotten Lily some books she wanted and a charm bracelet. Sirius had no idea what to get Sam. "Prongs, I'm running out of time! What should I get her?"

James shrugged. "I have no idea. I got her a wizard's chess set so she could practice but I doubt that's what she wants from her boyfriend."

"Let's go to one more shop before we give up. If I can't find anything then I'll just have to die a brave man." They laughed and wandered into a jewelry shop they had never seen before. They looked around and grimaced at some of the things on display. Sirius groaned. "Maybe I should just get her a book or something. There's nothing here that-" He stopped when he saw what he was looking for. It was in the glass case and he couldn't believe his luck. It was three rings. The first ring was your typical princess cut small diamond ring. The other two were identical but different sizes. They seemed to be invisible and the only reason he saw them was because the sun glinted off the bands. "That's it, Prongs! That's it!"

They pressed their noses against the glass and stared at the rings. "What are they?"

"They are called true love rings."

The boys jumped at the sound of the strange voice. An old man with silver hair that went in every direction smiled a semi-toothless smile at them. His shabby clothing had patches and he had stubble on his face. His coke bottle glasses magnified his eyes a hundred times. He clutched a wooden cane with a golden handle. "What's…what's true love rings?" James stammered. The appearance of this man surprised the hell out of him.

The man's smile grew. "True love rings are very remarkable. They are rare and only meant for people who are truly in love, obviously. The diamond ring represents a promise between the lovers that they will only love each other for eternity. The bands seal this promise. The bands can only be put on when they get married. When the lovers put the rings on, and if their love is pure and true, they glow blue to show how real their love is. They can only be taken off if one of the lover's dies…or if, Merlin forbid, one of the lover's stops loving the other."

Sirius was mystified. He couldn't take his eyes off of the rings. "H-How do you know if it's true love before the wedding?"

"The woman's finger glows a red light for a moment. That is how."

"This is perfect, Prongs. This way Sam can never doubt us! She'll love it!"

James nodded slowly. "I guess you're right." He looked up at the odd old man. "Do you have any other of these true love rings?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Didn't I say that they were rare?" James blushed. The man smiled. "I have another set. I was just fooling around."

He smiled. "Can I see it?"

He took the ring boxes out of the glass casing and placing them on the counter so the boys could get a closer look. Their eyes widened in appreciation. "Do you like what you see, boys?"

They nodded. "I'll take it!" They said in unison.

He smiled slowly. "Are you sure about this?" They nodded eagerly. "You have to realize what you are doing. This is a big commitment you are making. Are you sure that these women are your one and only true loves?" They nodded eagerly again. "You," He pointed to James. "Look into my eyes and tell me your name."

James looked at this man like he was crazy. "My name is James Potter."

He nodded quickly. "What is her name?"

He smiled. The mere mention of her made his heart flutter. "Lily Evans."

The man stared at him for a moment before smiling and nodded. "What is your name, boy?" He asked looking at Sirius.

Sirius gulped. "I'm Sirius Black, sir."

"Call me Dobson."

"Your name is Dobson?" James asked.

Dobson let out an impatient grunt. "No, it isn't. I just like the sound of it." They gave him a weird look and he laughed. "Of course that's my name! How thick are you, Potter?"

He blushed while Sirius stifled his laughter. "Sorry if I offended you, Dobson."

He smiled. "You didn't." He turned back to Sirius. "What is her name, Sirius?"

His face flushed and his heart raced. "Samantha Potter."

Dobson's eyes widened. "You love his…?"

"She is my little sister. I'm in love with her best friend, in case you wanted to know."

"How long have you loved these girls?"

"Since the day I met her." They said with a sigh.

He nodded. "You may purchase these rings." They smiled. "Just be sure that you believe in the meaning behind these rings. Only if your love for these women is pure and true will these rings be for you."

They nodded. "We're sure." They said.

They bought the rings and walked out of the shop. They looked in their bags and smiled at the boxes. Mr. Potter walked up to them and smiled. "Did you two find anything?" They told him about what happened and he had an odd look on his face. "What store was this?" They told him. "There is no such store here."

"Yes, there is, Dad. It's right over there…" Sirius trailed off. He looked in the direction of the store and saw that an abandoned building took its place. James' eyes widened. "What the hell? It was just there!" Sirius exclaimed.

They checked their bags and were relieved that the rings were still there. "That is bloody weird." James muttered.

Sirius nodded. "I'm so confused. This makes no sense at all but I'm still happy that I got Sam a present."

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Patrick waited besides Michael's bed and waited for him to wake up. He sat and watched him closely as his chest rose and fell. His eyes opened slowly and smiled at his cousin. "How'd your walk with Sammy go?" He asked while yawning.

He shrugged. "It went well until I kissed her."

Michael's eyes grew. "Y-You kissed her? Why would you do that?"

Patrick sighed. "I have no idea why I did. It just happened. She pushed me away immediately and told me she wanted to just be friends."

"I know that line well. She's told me that a few times."

"Sam told me what happened in her life since the last time we talked. A lot of interesting and heart breaking things have happened to her."

He nodded sadly. "They really screwed her up. I mean I love her but when they broke up with her, they literally broke her. I just wish they would give her a chance to find someone who would treat her right. Someone who would love only her."

"Someone like you?"

Michael smiled and blushed. "Not necessarily me but yeah. I love her so much but she never noticed until Chris told her. She has never given me a chance and I think that if they would just let her go then maybe she would realize that I would, hopefully, be the right choice."

He shrugged. "You never know, she might realize it one day if her engagement to Sirius doesn't work out."

"She's engaged to him?"

"Sort of. They plan to marry after she finishes school."

His face fell. "I'm sure she is very happy."

Patrick eyed him closely. "Sam told me something else very interesting."

"Oh, what was that?"

"That you slept with Sarah in April."

Michael paled. "Patrick-"

He glared at him. "Save it, Michael! I don't care that you slept with her when you knew that we were married. I honestly don't care. She is just a piece of trash that I could careless about. The only thing that pisses me off is that you slept with her while she was pregnant with my daughter!"

"Patrick, I'm so sorry! It was a mistake! I was just upset that Sam broke up with me. It didn't mean anything!"

"You should thank your lucky stars that I made the mistake first or you would be a father now."

He sighed. "I'd be very lucky if I had a daughter as wonderful as Anna." Patrick smiled with pride. "I think Sam would have killed me if I got Sarah pregnant."

Patrick gave him a curious look. "Why would she care?"

Michael shrugged. "When she found out that I slept with Sarah, she almost had a stroke. She said she thought I had more sense than that."

"I thought the same thing." Michael shrugged again. "How did it happen?"

"I was on the way back to the common room after Sam and I broke up and ran into her. Sarah was crying. She said that she hated you and wished she never met you." Patrick shrugged. "Sarah was holding onto me and kept saying that she wanted to get rid of Anna. We went to the astronomy tower to talk." Patrick groaned. "We talked about our problems and then she kissed me. I want you to know that I was gentle with her. I made sure not to hurt the baby."

Patrick shook his head in disbelief. "I seriously wonder if she just hangs around the astronomy tower just so she can get someone to sleep with her."

"Sarah isn't all bad. She did give you the greatest little girl in the world."

He smiled at the thought of his little girl who was now being fed by her grandmother. "That she did. I may not think very highly of Sarah but she did give me Anna. I just don't understand how she couldn't possibly want to be a part of her life."

He shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. She had a baby when she was only sixteen. That's a lot to deal with."

"What about being a father at seventeen? That's no easy task!"

"Look mate, I don't know what to tell you. She is selfish though. I agree with you. I don't know how she could just leave Anna like that."

"I don't care." He sighed. "I wish Jennifer was her mother. Or hell, even Sam! I know for a fact that they would be amazing mothers to Anna. You should have seen Jennifer with her. They looked wonderful together."

Michael smiled. "Maybe there is still hope for the two of you."

Patrick sighed and shook his head. "She is with someone else and happy." He sighed again. "Maybe I could try and convince Sammy to leave Sirius and be with me."

"You wouldn't! Why would you even say that? You know how I feel about her!"

He shrugged. "You slept with my ex-wife while we were married and she was pregnant. You have nothing to say on this matter after that." Michael glared at him. "I was only joking, you moron! I wouldn't do that to you…again."

"Again?"

Patrick smiled. "You know, when we were in Paris with Sam and Lilac. You wouldn't shut up about her! I convinced you to go after Lilac instead but I forgot that I would get stuck with Sam." Michael laughed. "She wouldn't shut up about Sirius and Remus! Then one night, while we were standing on top of the Eiffel Tower, I kissed her. You were so mad when I told you! She told me that you tried to convince her to break up with me! You're lucky I didn't kick your ass for that."

He laughed. "I was jealous and you were a prat! You used to grab her bum every time you were around me. And, you kept kissing her! You did it on purpose just to piss me off!"

He nodded. "That I did. I was such an ass to you."

"Yes, you were."

Patrick shrugged. "Life was simple then." He sighed at the thought.

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Sam nibbled on her cuticles as she waited for Sirius to come home. She knew that Patrick didn't really mean to kiss her and that it was just a stupid mistake but she had to tell Sirius about it. They agreed to be completely honest with each other and she wanted to keep that promise. If she didn't tell him, she knew Patrick would and Sirius would be even more upset. He would think that she was trying to hide it from him. She heard the men enter the living room and sighed when their laughter echoed the house. Mrs. Potter looked away from the stove and smiled encouragingly at her. "It will be fine, dear."

She nodded. "I hope you're right, Mama. I just know he will be upset about this."

Mrs. Potter nodded. "Sirius will have a right to be upset but you will explain that it meant nothing to either of you." She nodded again. "A-Are you going to tell him about your dream?"

"Not right now. There's no point in ruining his Christmas. I know if I tell him, I will have to tell James, Lily, and Remus. I'll need some more time to prepare for that. You do understand that, don't you?"

She sighed. "I do. As long as you tell him before you two get married. Is that clear?"

"Yes, it is, Mama."

"He will understand, Samantha. This kiss meant nothing."

Sam nodded again and walked into the living room. She was really dreading the conversation that she was going to have. Sirius and James were laughing and joking around. She smiled at the sight of them. "Did you two have fun?"

They turned around and smiled at her. "Yes, we did." Sirius gave her a quick kiss on the lips and smiled. "How is Michael doing?"

She plastered a smile on her face. "He is doing much better. I wasn't able to visit with him long though."

James nodded. "It's good to hear that he is getting better." She nodded. "How was your walk with Patrick?"

Sam's smiled faltered. "It was fine." Sirius gave her a curious look. "What did you two get?"

He laughed and held her closely to him. "We got yours and Lily's Christmas presents." He kissed her again. "You are going to _love_ what I got you!"

She blushed. "You didn't have to get me anything."

His eyes widened. "I didn't?"

"She's lying through her teeth!" Mr. Potter yelled from the kitchen. "They all say that but don't be fooled! If you didn't get her anything, she would have hex you!"

She nodded. "My father is right."

Sirius laughed. "That's good to know, Baby. I'll keep that in mind."

"Baby, we need to talk…about something important."

James groaned. "Please tell me that it has nothing to do with you being pregnant or that you are breaking up with him again." He whispered so that their parents wouldn't hear.

He gulped. "Are you breaking up with me?" She shook her head aggressively. He sighed in relief. "Are you pregnant?" He whispered.

She slapped their arms. "I'm not pregnant." She whispered before rolling her eyes. "Even if I was, it wouldn't be your baby. It would be Remus'."

Sirius sneered. "Did you have to remind me that you were sleeping with him before we got back together?"

"That doesn't matter anymore. I won't be making that mistake ever again."  
The boys sighed. "Can we talk in private?" He nodded. "Let's go up to my room."

"That's a bad idea, Sammabelle. Dad would crap kittens if he knew you two were alone _talking_ in your room."

Sam laughed. "You're right, Jimmybean. By the way, we are just going to talk."

"Why don't we go outside? It's private enough and this way your dad won't have to worry about what we are doing." She nodded and they went into the backyard. They brushed off the snow of an old tree stump and sat down. He wrapped an arm around her when she shivered and sighed in content when she rested her head on his shoulder. "What's on your mind, Baby?"

She bit her lip. "What I'm about to tell you…you are going to be very upset. You won't like it."

He nodded. "You can tell me anything. Don't worry about how I will react. What's going on?"

Sam nodded and stood up. She bent down and kissed him. "You know that I love you, right?" He gave her a curious smile and nodded. She bit her lip before starting to laugh. "I'm acting like this is the end of the world or something! It's not a big deal really!"

Sirius smiled and laughed at her. "Sam, you're acting very strange. Just tell me."

"On my walk with Patrick, we were catching up and…" He nodded slowly. "Well, he…he kissed me."

His eyes widened in anger and he growled. "He did what?"

She sighed. "Baby, calm down! I pushed him away immediately! I-It was an accident! He didn't really mean to do it!"

"You aren't going to see Michael by yourself anymore! I'm going with you from now on!" He stood up and kicked the tree stump. "I'm going to kill that bastard!"

Sam went to touch his hand but he pulled away from her. "Please, listen to me!" He glared at her. "We were talking about the past and what happened since the last time we talked. He told me about his ex-girlfriend and S-" She bit her lip. She wasn't sure if it was her place to tell him about Sarah being Anna's mother. "He told me about Anna's mother. Patrick was so upset and I hugged him to give him comfort…that's when he kissed me. I pushed him away and he apologized. He was just upset and it didn't mean anything."

Sirius was breathing heavily. "If it meant nothing to you then why are you telling me?"

"We agreed to be honest with each other about everything." He nodded. "I just thought it would be best if I told you instead of Patrick. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to hide anything from you. I want to be honest with you like you have been trying to be with me." He shrugged awkwardly. "There's one other thing I should tell you but I'm not sure if it's my business to say."

"If you are about to tell me that he tried to grope you, I'm going to Hogwarts and I'm killing him!"

She laughed. "No, he didn't. Even if he tried to, I wouldn't give him a chance." He sighed in relief. "This is Patrick's secret to tell but it concerns you."

"What is it?"

"I can only tell you a part of it. If you want to know the rest, you will just have to ask him yourself tomorrow after dinner." He nodded. "Patrick slept with Sarah…on the astronomy tower." His face was expressionless and she mistook it for him being upset. "Please, don't be angry. It happened before you two got together. I just thought that you had a right to know."

Sirius shrugged. "It's not surprising. My only question is who hasn't she slept with?" He sat back down on the stump and smiled when she sat on his lap. "Is that all that happened between you two today? I know you said you couldn't tell me something but did he do or say anything else that would merit my kicking his ass?"

Sam laughed and kissed him. "There is nothing else to tell you." He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "I hope you aren't angry with me."

He smiled and held her closely. "I'm not mad at you. I'm glad you told me. I just don't trust him around you." She rolled her eyes. "I can be upset if I want to! I'm not as blind as you think I am, Sammy."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He smiled. "You're a beautiful woman, Sammy." She blushed. "I do notice that a lot of guys at school and…in walking distance of you think that you're hot."

"That's what Patrick said."

"What?"

She winked at him. "He said that I was hot."

"That stupid prat!" He grumbled. She smiled and nuzzled his neck. "You think I don't notice that whenever guys see you that they are attracted to you and try to flirt."

Sam laughed loudly. "Sirius, that's not true! I know you notice! You get upset and completely jealous when Professor Slughorn says hello to me in the halls!"

Sirius laughed and kissed her. "I guess that's true." She nodded eagerly. "I just want you to know that I do notice and I do get jealous by the attention those prats throw your way. I hate it but I have to try to accept it. I'm just afraid that you will leave me for one of them."

She smiled gently when he said that. "How thick are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sirius, I love you! I want you! I want my life to be with only you! Those boys that flirt with me, I don't pay any attention to them because they aren't you!"

"You really mean that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I do! You're the only one I want! I did promise to marry _you_, didn't I?" He smiled and nodded. "You have nothing to worry about. We will always be together…in our hearts. You're the love of my life, Sirius! I need and want you. I love you!"

Sirius kissed her. He held her closely and sighed in content. "I love you too, Sammy. You're the only woman I'll ever love, want, _and_ need. We will always be together." She held onto him tightly. Her heart hurt because she knew that she didn't have long to be with him. He would never understand. "I'll love you forever, Sammy." He whispered.


	47. Chapter 46: Blessings

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay. I'm still having computer problems. Anyway, this is more fluff. Don't worry; it will get interesting again soon. Enjoy!

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Chapter 46: Blessings.

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Sirius groaned when the sun hit his eyes as he was sleeping. He rolled over and smiled when he saw her sleeping form. Her bare skin glowed when the sun reflected off of her. He moved in closer and tried not to disturb her rest. It was important for her to get her rest. He stared at her back and couldn't help but touch her. His fingers glided up and down her back lightly. She was real. Last night and the night before wasn't a dream. Sirius had to stop himself from pinching his arm just to make sure it was still not a dream. He pushed her hair to the side and kissed her shoulder blade. Her body was warm and felt good against his lips. The sheet slipped down her as she shifted in her sleep. His hands slid onto her stomach and he held her as close as possible. She sighed and turned her head. "What are you doing up so early, Baby?" She whispered.

He smiled at the sound of her voice and rested his cheek on hers. He felt her smile and she snuggled closer to him. "The sun woke me up." He nibbled her shoulder. "Did I wake you?"

Sam shook her head. "No, you didn't."

His hands slipped down her body and rested them on her thighs. "Did you have good dreams?"

She turned around and it caused his hands to move in between her thighs. She smirked. "I dreamt of you."

"Did you have good dreams?"

"Whenever you are in my dreams they are good."

He smiled. "You're so full of it!" She laughed. "I love you."

Sam lay on top of him and his body reacted quickly. She caressed his cheeks with her hands and smiled when she felt his hands move around on her back. "You look so handsome right now."

"What? Do I normally look ugly?"

She kissed his forehead. "You could never be ugly." He rolled his eyes. "I'm being serious, Sirius!" He smirked. She rolled her eyes. "You are a beautiful person, Sirius. You have such a big heart. You are so loyal to the people you love. You would do anything to protect us."

Sirius stared at her. "I'd do anything for you, Sammy."

"I know. I'd do anything for you, Sirius."

"Oh really?"

She eyed his closely. "Yes really. Why do you ask?"

He smiled slowly before he began kissing her neck. "No reason."

"Liar."

Sirius laughed into her shoulder. He rolled over and trapped her underneath him. She let out an excited giggle. His hands slid up her thighs and she bit her lip. "Do you love me, Samantha?"

"You know I do."

He held her face in his hands and stared at her. "Do you love me?"

Sam smiled and his heart raced. She always had that affect on him. "I love you more than anything in this entire world." His eyes widened. "Does that scare you?"

He shook his head aggressively. "No, it doesn't. Hearing you say that makes me happier than I've ever felt in my entire life."

She felt her heart race when he said that. "Do you love me, Sirius?"

"You know I do."

"Do you love me, Sirius?"

He nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "I love you more than anything in this entire world." Her smile grew. "Does that scare you?"

She kissed his cheek. "No, it doesn't. It makes me happy. Being with you, like this, makes me so happy. It feels wrong to be this happy."

His body shook with laughter. "Only you could feel guilty about feeling happy."

"You're such a prat!" He nibbled her ear. "You better stop that."

"Why should I?" He muttered.

"My parents will be awake soon. What if they hear us?"

Sirius smirked at her. "Samantha, you've got a dirty mind! I had no intention of doing anything but give you a kiss." She rolled her eyes. "The silencing charm is still up. They will never know. We could be very quiet." He laughed.

Sam brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Have I ever told you that I think you have the sexiest hair I've ever seen?" He blushed. "I mean you are a very handsome and sexy man but your hair…wow! It just adds to your appeal."

He licked his lips slowly and she knew if she had been standing, her knees would have gone weak. "Have I ever told you that you have sexy hair?" She laughed. "I'm being honest. I love how your hair glows when the sun reflects off it. I love how it bounces when ever you wear it in a ponytail." She blushed. "I love how it falls all over me whenever we lay together."

Her lips brushed his neck softly. He shivered in response. "I love you."

"I love you."

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James, Sirius, and Sam were sitting next to each other on the floor in the living room. James rolled his eyes when he noticed Sam and Sirius blushing whenever they looked or touched each other. He was happy that Sirius finally grew up some and realized he had to stop acting like an ass when it came to his sister. He sighed in content. It was hard to believe that he was going to propose to Lily, if her parents have him their blessing, and that Sirius and Sam were sort of engaged. Everything seemed to be working out for everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Potter sat down on the sofa and smiled. They drank their coffee and almost laughed when they noticed their children looking at them expectantly. "You can open you presents now." Mr. Potter said with a smile.

They grabbed at their gifts and gasped in delight. Sam's eyes widened when she saw the silver hoop earrings her parents got for her. "Thank you so much!" They smiled and she put them in her ears. "How do they look?"

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before kissing her. "You look good enough to eat, Baby."

Mr. Potter eyed him closely. "Hands off the daughter, Sirius."

"Yes, sir."

James hugged Sam when he unwrapped the present she got for him. She got him a broom servicing kit. Sam laughed and rolled her eyes when she saw that James got her a wizard's chess set. "This way you can actually win once in a while." She rolled her eyes in response.

Sirius handed Sam a box. "This is one of your presents. I hope you like it."

Sam held the box in her hand and kissed him. "I'll love whatever you give me." He blushed. She opened the box and gasped. "Sirius, this is so…beautiful!"

"What did he get you, sweetheart?" Mrs. Potter asked.

She held it up. "It's a charm bracelet! Can you put it on me, sweetie?" Sirius nodded. She kissed him. "Thank you! What's the charm on it?"

He smiled. "It's a dream catcher. They catch the good dreams and let the bad ones go."

The others smiled at him. "That was very sweet of you, honey." Mrs. Potter said softly.

He shrugged. "I just don't want any bad dreams taking her away from me again. No more St. Mungo's for my girlfriend!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potter shifted uncomfortably. "No one wants that." Mr. Potter muttered while giving his wife a look.

Sam beamed. "This is the best gift!" She kissed his cheek. "My present for you is upstairs. I want to give it to you when we are alone."

"You already gave me a present. I love the broom servicing kit."

"I made you another gift." She said while blushing. "I'll give it to you later."

He kissed her. "I want to give you your other present in private." He whispered in her ear.

James rolled his eyes. "Don't you two do anything besides shag?"

Mr. Potter's eyes widened. "What was that, James?"

He gulped while Sam and Sirius stifled their laughter. Mrs. Potter refused to look at her husband. "I-I m-meant snog, Dad!"

He glared at them. "You better have, young man! No one will ever do…_that_ to my little girl."

Sirius was turning red. He was finding it difficult not to laugh. "Smooth move, Prongs!"

Mr. Potter fixed his glare at Sirius. "I'm going to be watching you like a hawk, young man!"

He stammered. Sam was shaking with held in laughter. "Daddy, calm down! You know that I'm waiting until I'm married." The others, including Mrs. Potter, howled with laughter. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up!" They laughed harder. "Why is this so funny? Why is it so hard to believe that I'm a virgin?" She glared at Sirius.

Sirius stopped laughing quickly. He knew that look all too well. "I-It's not hard to believe, Baby." Her eyes narrowed into thin slits and he began to sweat. "Sir, Sam is the biggest virgin I know! You have no reason to doubt that! I-I have to ask her permission to hold her hand! Believe me when I say that! Compared to the other girls I've gone out with, Sam is the purest one of all."

James giggled. "Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you?"

Mr. Potter nodded. "Shut up, James." James rolled his eyes. "I believe you, Sirius. Even though you are laying it on a bit thick." Sirius relaxed especially when Sam smiled at him. "I trust you with her. You don't have to worry about that. Just don't touch her!" They laughed in response.

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Sirius stood underneath the mistletoe hanging in between the hall and the living room. His breath caught in his throat when she walked downstairs. Sam looked beautiful. Her hair was swept up and she wore a short black skirt and a short sleeved crimson shirt. "Wow!" He whispered.

Sam stopped at the bottom of the stairs when she saw Sirius standing underneath the mistletoe. He wore black pants and a deep blue shirt that brought out his already mesmerizing blue eyes. "Wow!" She whispered.

He took her hand in his when she came closer to him. "Sammy, you're beautiful!"

She blushed. "You look so handsome, Sirius."

His hands slid around her and rested on her waist. He sighed in content when she held him closely. "Kiss me." She smiled before leaning in. Their kiss was slow and meaningful before they clung to each other. His hands slid down to her bum.

"Hands above the equator mate." James said with a laugh. "Dad is coming."

Sirius was staring at Sam with a goofy expression on his face. "I don't care." He muttered before kissing her again.

Mr. Potter walked in but stopped when he saw Sirius' hands on his little girl's behind. "Sirius Phineas Black, remove yourself from my daughter at once!"

He jumped away from her. "Yes sir."

He nodded gruffly. "Dinner is ready."

They sat down and everyone ate except James. He was too nervous to eat a thing. He was going to Lily's after dinner and would ask her parents for her hand in marriage. He was terrified that they would say no. "James, eat something. Everything will be fine." Mrs. Potter said.

James was sweating while he nodded. "I-I know, Mum. I'm just nervous."

"Everything is going to be fine, mate! They'll say yes!" Sirius said.

"They'll love you, Jimmybean!"

He smiled. He really did appreciate their approval. "Thank you for that." He sighed and looked at Sirius. "Do you think I could used what you said when you asked?"

He shrugged. "Of course you can. I used what Frank said when he asked Alice's parents."

James laughed. "I thought it sounded familiar!"

Sam stared at Sirius. "You used what Frank said?"

Sirius had his mouth open as his fork came closer to his mouth but stopped moving. He put his fork down and smiled. "Well, I used some things he said but the feelings behind them were all mine."

"Someone's in trouble!" Mr. Potter said in a singsong voice.

Mrs. Potter smiled. "Shut up, dear." Mr. Potter quieted down. "Sam, don't be upset with him. Your father used words that his best friend told him to say."

"How did you know about that?" Mr. Potter asked with wide eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I know! He was drunk at our wedding and told me all about it!"

Sam laughed and smiled when Sirius nuzzled her shoulder. "Are you mad?"

She sighed. "I'm not mad. I was just surprised."

The clock struck seven and James paled. "I have to go now. Lily said I had to be there by now." He gulped. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Mrs. Potter hugged him tightly. "James, you are a good boy. Lily knows that you love her with all your heart. All you have to do is be honest and speak from your heart. They will know that you are speaking the truth. They will say yes."

He hugged her. "Thank you, Mum." He left.

"They had better say yes!" Mrs. Potter grunted.

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James flooed to Lily's house. He was grateful that his father worked it out for him with the Ministry to add their house to the Floo Network. He stood in their living room and brushed himself off. He was covered in soot and really wished that he had his apparition license. He sighed as he looked around the room. It was a quaint looking house. It was weird for him to look at the pictures that graced the walls and mantle. The pictures weren't moving. White floral sofas were facing the fire place and an old blue arm chair faced a large metal box with knobs. James walked over to it cautiously and looked around before tapping his wand against the top of it. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when nothing happened. He reached out and turned the knobs. He jumped when a picture came onto the screen. Someone was facing him and James looked at him closely. The person kicked a ball towards him and he ducked, fearing the ball would hit him. He looked up and laughed. He taped the screen and was in awe. "Brilliant!" He whispered.

Lily walked into the living room, after hearing his arrival and wondering what was taking him so long to enter the dining room, and smiled at the sight of him. He seemed to be entranced by the television. "Only you would be fascinated by the idiot box, Potter!"

He jumped and turned around. The smile on his face grew when he saw her. She felt her heart race. "That's what this is called? It's fascinating! How do you get the little people inside? Do they live in there or can they come out?"

She laughed. "Come on, my parents are waiting."

James walked over to her and took her hand. He held her tightly and he kissed her. "I've missed you, Lilykins." He said while blushing.

Lily's face grew warm. "I've missed you too, Cuddlebum."

"Dear, is he here yet?" They heard her mother yell from the other room.

"Yes, he is, Mum!" Lily yelled. "We're coming!"

James felt his stomach clench as they entered the dining room. Mrs. Evans was a slender woman with reddish blonde hair and bright green eyes. Mr. Evans had light brown hair and blue eyes and James thought that he would make a perfect seeker with his build. They stood up and smiled at him. Mrs. Evans hugged him and laughed when he blushed. Mr. Evans shook his hand. "T-Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Evans."

Mrs. Evan smiled again. "It's not a problem, James. We're so glad that you could make it. Please, sit down." He nodded politely and sat next to Lily. "I'm so sorry but Lily's sister Petunia couldn't stay. She is having dessert at her fiancée Vernon's house. I'm sure she would have loved to meet you."

He held in a sneer. Lily told him all about her sister and how mean she was. "I understand, Mrs. Evans. Lily has told me a lot about Petunia. She sounds very nice." They shifted uncomfortably and smiled. "Mr. Evans, I just love that…what was it called, Lily? Oh yes! Your idiot box!"

Mr. Evans choked on his water. "M-My what?"

Lily was shaking with laughter. "The television, Dad. I caught him watching it."

James gave her a confused look. "I thought it was called an idiot box?"

Mrs. Evans laughed. "That's what Lily calls it."

He nodded. "Well, it's very fascinating! How do you get the tiny people inside? Do they live in there? Do you feed them?" Mr. Evans let out a loud laugh and tried his best to explain. James hung on every word he said. Mrs. Evans and Lily shared a smile. "That's amazing!" He exclaimed when Mr. Evans finished. "Muggles do come up with such extraordinary things!" They continued to discuss other muggle inventions while they ate apple pie. "The pie was amazing, Mrs. Evans! It was exactly how my Mum makes it!"

Mrs. Evans beamed. "Thank you, James. How are your parents doing?"

"They are just fine, ma'am. They say hello and wish you and Mr. Evans a happy Christmas."

Mr. Evans nodded. "Tell them the same, son." James nodded. "How is your sister Samantha doing? Lily told us about what happened at the ball. We hope that she is doing well."

James smiled. "Sammy is doing just fine, sir. She just got engaged actually."

Lily choked on her pie. "She what?"

"She didn't tell you? Hmm, that's odd. Well, it did just happen yesterday."

She couldn't believe it. "She didn't tell me anything! I'm going to kill her! Who is she engaged to?"

He laughed. "Sirius, of course!" Her eyes widened. "Well, they are sort of engaged. He asked our permission yesterday at breakfast. He made her promise to say yes when he asked her. He bought her a ring yesterday. They are really amazing!" He explained to them about the rings and the shop keeper. "Then when we turned around…the shop was an abandoned building! Luckily, we still had the rings!"

Lily blushed. "You bought the same rings?"

He went pale. "Well…I-I did. It just seemed wrong not to." He sighed. "I got you another present…a few actually. I hope you like them."

She felt like her chest was going to explode. "I have your gift upstairs. I'll go get it now." She left.

James took a deep breath before looking at her parents. "Mr. and Mrs. Evans, there's something important I need to discuss with you."

They smiled. "What is it, dear?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"As you know, I've been in love with your amazing daughter since I've met her in our first year." They nodded. "Lily had enough sense to turn me down…every chance she got." They laughed. "I was…and possibly still am, according to my sister, a jerk. Lily, for some reason, finally saw past all that and agreed to be with me. She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me feel like I can do anything! I love her with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for her. I want your blessing to ask her to marry me."

Their eyes widened. "Y-You want to marry our Lily?" Mrs. Evans asked. He nodded eagerly. She busted into tears. "You want to marry our Lily?"

His eyes went wide. "Mrs. Evans, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!" He groaned and looked at Mr. Evans. "I didn't mean to make her cry, sir! I guess the answer is no."

Mr. Evans came out of his daze and smiled. "She is crying out of joy, James." Mrs. Evans nodded while wiping away her tears. "The answer is yes. You can have our blessing." James smiled and hugged them. "When do you plan on asking her?"

"I was thinking about asking her on Valentine's Day, sir."

"Oh, that sounds so romantic! That's when you asked me, Steve."

Lily came into the room and stopped. The sight confused her. James was hugging her mother while she cried and her dad was smiling like a moron. "I leave you alone with my parents for a few minutes and you made my mother cry. Nicely done, James."

Mrs. Evans ran over to her daughter and hugged her as tight as possible. Lily held her. "He is wonderful, sweetheart! James was just telling us how much he loves you!"

"I love him very much too, Mum."

Mr. Evans patted James on the back. "Come on, son. I'll show you the lawnmower you kept asking about." James looked absolutely thrilled and intrigued.

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Sam wrapped her cloak around her as Sirius led her outside. The cold made her shiver. She smiled at him. He looked so nervous and she had no idea why. They walked to the old tree stump and he sat her down. Sirius paced in front of her and she had to resist the urge to laugh at him. "Baby, are you ok?" He nodded. "Why are you acting so jumpy?"

Sirius stopped pacing and kissed her. "I love you, Samantha!" He practically shouted.

She laughed and kissed him. "I love you too, Sirius!"

"I have something to ask you." He said as he got down on one knee.

Sam smiled. "Do you want me to tie your shoe?"

He looked at her in confusion. He looked around and realization dawned on him. He laughed. "No, I don't." She nodded. "Sam, when we first met I knew I was in love with you." Her eyes went wide with surprise. "I-It's true! I was just too stupid to realize it!" She laughed. "You mean so much to me. I can't imagine my life with you in it! I just love you so much!"

"I know you do, Baby. I love you too."

Sirius smiled. "Thank you. I needed to hear that again." She smiled. "I know that I've made some horrible mistakes when it's come to you and us. I'm so sorry about all that." She nodded. "I don't want to make those mistakes ever again. You're my everything, Sammy. I wake up everyday and I can't wait to see you. I dream about you. I think about you constantly." She blushed. "I know that I made you promise to say yes but you don't have to if you don't want to."

She was confused. "Sirius, what are you talking about?"

He let out a shaky breath and presented the ring box. She gasped. "This is what I'm talking about. Samantha Eugenia Potter, will you marry me?"

Sam cried. She held onto him tightly. "Do you mean it?" He nodded. "Of course I'll say yes! Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!"

Sirius held onto her while she continued to cry. "Are you ok?" She nodded her head against his shoulder as she let out a sob. "Are you happy?" She nodded eagerly. He was confused as hell. "Well, if you are happy then why are you crying?"

Sam wiped away her tears and smiled. "I'm crying because I am happy. They are tears of joy." He smiled in relief. "I just didn't expect you to propose so soon. You really surprised me."

He kissed her. "I don't know how I did that. I already asked you to promise to marry me."

"That's true but I thought you were going to wait to propose."

"I couldn't wait. James and I were in Diagon Alley looking for presents and stumbled upon this jewelry shop. That's where I found the rings. It just seemed right."

She stood up and sat him down on the stump before sitting on his lap. He held her closely and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Can I see the rings?" She asked shyly. He opened the box and her eyes widened. "Sirius, they are beautiful! I've never seen anything like them before!"

Sirius kissed her temple. "They are called true love rings. They have certain powers." She looked at him curiously. He explained the entire story of what happened and everything Dobson said. "The only way they come off is if one of us dies, or, Merlin forbid, if one of us stops loving the other."

Her eyes grew. "That's extraordinary!" He nodded. "Will my finger really turn red when you put it on my finger?"

He nodded. "Yes, it will but only for a moment or two. It's like a test to prove that we are truly in love. If it does turn red then we are." She smiled. "When we get married, our bands will make our fingers glow a bright blue. It will seal our promise to each other. We will know just how true and real our love for each other is."

She stood up. "I can't wait to see if this works! You can put the ring on me if you want to." He stood up and took her hand in his. He smiled before slipping the ring on her finger. Their fingers were entwined while they waited to see what would happen. After a few moments, she sighed in defeat. "Maybe-" She stopped speaking when she felt a rush of heat course through her body. Their fingers felt like they were fused together. Her finger started to turn a bright pink. They gasped loudly when a red beam of light shot straight into the night air. The intensity of the heat made them pant. The glowing red light surrounded them in a tight circle. They couldn't break apart even though they weren't trying to. It was a full ten minutes before the light went out and they stumbled while continuing to hold hands. They continued to pant and looked at each other in shock. "That was…wow!" She whispered. He nodded eagerly. "I thought you said that it would only last a moment?"

Sirius shook himself out of a daze and shrugged. "I thought it would. I have no idea what just happened but I'm glad it did. This has got to prove to you that we really are meant to be. We truly love each other."

Sam wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "It does! It really does! There is no doubt in my mind that you love me now!" He smiled brightly. "I love you, Sirius!"

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her. He trailed kisses along her jaw line and down to her neck. "I love you, Sammy." He moved his hands down her body and gripped her hips. "I want you so much. I need you, Sammy. You make me whole."

The back door opened and Mrs. Potter peeked her head out. "It's time to go, kids!" They separated. She stared at them closely. "Are you two alright?"

Sirius nodded. "We're fine, Mum." Sam rested her forehead against his neck as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She wrapped an arm around his waist and they walked towards the house. Mrs. Potter smiled at their blushing faces. "We are officially engaged!"

She gasped. "Y-You're what?" Sam held out her left hand and smiled at her mother. She gasped in delight. She hugged them tightly. "This is wonderful! This is amazing!" Mrs. Potter held onto Sam and they started to cry. "My little girl is engaged!"

Mr. Potter walked out and stopped. He saw Sirius looking confused as his wife and daughter held other while crying. "Did I miss something?"

He nodded awkwardly. "We just got officially engaged and they started to cry."

He laughed. "Women tend to cry when they are happy. I don't understand it either." Sirius smiled. Mr. Potter hugged him. "Congratulations, Sirius. I know you will make her happy. I know you love her and want to protect her." Sirius nodded quickly. "I trust you with her, Sirius. You will treat her right." He nodded again. "Just don't even think about touching her though! I'll hex you back into diapers if you do."

Sirius laughed. "I won't, sir."

Mr. Potter hugged his daughter once she was freed from her mother's grasp. "My little Sammy is engaged." She blushed. "You are growing up so fast, sweetheart. I still remember the day you were born." Her blush grew. "You had the biggest and brightest eyes I've ever seen on a baby. I was so nervous when I held you. You were so small in my arms but it was like you knew you could trust me not to let you fall. Your tiny little fist wrapped around my finger and you giggled. You reminded me of an angel. My precious little angel."

"Daddy, you're embarrassing me!"

He sighed. "I'm allowed to! I am your father after all!" She giggled. "My little angel is so grown up! I remember when your grandfather brought James into meet you. He was only a little over a year old but the moment he laid eyes on you, he wanted to take care of you. When you were hungry and started to cry, he was so upset! James wanted to know why his little sister was crying. He wouldn't let us take him out the room until you settled down. It was like you knew and only calmed down to make sure he knew that you were really fine."

Sirius smiled. He never heard this story before. Apart of him felt jealous that even then, James and Sam took care of each other. He always wanted that with his family. His smile grew when he realized that he was crazy. This was his family. These were his parents and this was the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Everything seemed perfect in that moment.


	48. Chapter 47: Hopes and Doubts

Author's Note: Hey! I'm back...for now. Did you miss me? I missed you! Ok, enough of that. I know I haven't updated in a bit but I'm going to try and be better about doing that. I doubt you'll like this chapter. It will get better and more entertaining but the filler chapters have to make their appearances from time-to-time. Well, I hope you enjoy and I'm sorry you wasted your time if you don't. Bye for now!

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Chapter 47: Hopes And Doubts.

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Patrick was singing softly in Anna's ear to help her go to sleep before the Potters and Sirius arrived. He groaned when he thought of Sirius. He knew that Sirius would be pissed as hell at him for stupidly kissing Sam. He honestly didn't know why he did it. He just chalked it up to being back at Hogwarts and being with her and remembering a simpler time. A time before he slept with Sarah. A time when he was a carefree teenager and not a father. He loved his daughter with all his heart but he did sometimes wish that that night with Sarah never happened. If it didn't, he would most likely be married to Jennifer. His heart ached when he thought of her. Patrick loved her so much but she had moved on with her life and found someone new. He wished that she could find it in her heart to forgive him. He wished she could be Anna's mother. He sighed sadly as he rocked his little girl in his arms. He even wished that Sam could be Anna's mother. She had an easy and fast connection with Anna and she looked natural holding her in her arms. He made so many mistakes with Jennifer and Sam and he wish he could take them back. He was lucky that Sam found it in her heart to forgive him and wished that Jennifer could do the same.

The doors opened and the Potters and Sirius walked in. Sam and Sirius were holding each other's hands tightly. Patrick's eyes widened when he looked at her. She was practically glowing and the blush that graced her face when Sirius kissed her cheek made it even more noticeable. She separated from Sirius and walked over to him. She smiled at him. "Happy Christmas, Patrick." She whispered softly when she saw Anna's sleeping form. She gave him a brief hug and kiss on the cheek. "How is she?"

He smiled. "Happy Christmas, Sam. Anna is doing just fine. I finally got her to sleep."

Sam stroked Anna's hair gently. "She looks like a little angel."

Patrick nodded. "Yes, she does." He noticed Sirius glaring at him from across the room. "I see you told Sirius about what I did."

She turned her head and smiled at Sirius. "I had to. Don't worry, I calmed him down. He was upset but realized that it didn't mean anything."

"He looks pissed off."

She shrugged. "I'm sure he does. Look, he knows nothing is going on between us but that doesn't stop him from being jealous. Sirius can be very possessive when it comes to me."

He laughed. "That's true. He was blue in the face every time he saw us together when we went out. I thought he was going to have a stroke."

She laughed. "Yeah, he was. I always thought it was because I wasn't paying attention to him anymore and he was trying to look out for me like James was but it turns out he was jealous. He told me he has been in love with me since we met but just thought he was crazy. He is crazy!"

Patrick smiled but it faded quickly when he saw her left hand as she brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "What's that?"

Sam blushed. "It's my engagement ring. Sirius proposed tonight."

His eyes widened. "Wow! Congratulations, Sammy!"

She smiled. "Thank you, Patrick." She saw Sirius' eyes narrow into thin slits when Patrick hugged her with his free arm. "Why don't I take Anna? I think you should talk with Sirius. He needs to hear from you that there is nothing between us."

He nodded and handed Anna over. He took a deep breath before walking to where Sirius was standing. "Hello Sirius. Happy Christmas." Sirius nodded curtly. He sighed. "Sam said she told you about what I did."

"She did."

"I just want you to know that I still care for her." Sirius glared at him. "I just want to be her friend. I didn't plan on kissing her. I just wanted to catch up. It was a mistake and didn't mean anything. It won't happen again."

Sirius eyed him closely. "I wanted to kill you." Patrick nodded. "Sam calmed me down. She made me realize that it didn't mean anything. Just keep your hands to yourself."

He laughed and nodded. "I promise I won't kiss her again. She is completely devoted to you. Congratulations on the engagement by the way. I didn't think you had it in you."

He smiled. "Neither did I. Being with her just makes sense. I'm just happy that she forgave me."

"You're lucky that she did. I made the same mistake you did but I wasn't as lucky as you. I hope, for your sake, that everything works out and you don't do it again."

"I know you slept with Sarah." Patrick looked at him in surprise. "Sam told me about it. She said if I wanted to know everything I had to ask you because it wasn't her place to tell me. She thought I was upset when I found out."

"Were you?"

Sirius shook his head. "I couldn't careless. She has slept with most of my friends. I wonder who she hasn't slept with." Patrick laughed. "So, what's the whole story?" Patrick took another deep breath and began his story. When he finished the story, Sirius was in complete shock. "Sarah is Anna's mother?" Patrick nodded sadly. "She just left her?" He nodded again. "She would always talk about us getting married and having kids." Sirius muttered. "I, obviously, knew that would never happen but she never mentioned Anna. I'm shocked. I don't know how she could do that. I honestly don't know what to say."

Patrick shrugged. "There's nothing to say. It happened and I got the best end of the deal out of it." They watched Sam rocking Anna while talking with the adults. "Sirius, I know it's none of my business but I have to ask. Do you really love Sam?"

"Of course I do. I've never loved anyone else."

He nodded. "That's good. Just promise me something."

"What?"

"Don't screw what you have with Sam up again. Do everything you can to keep her with you. Make sure she knows that you love her everyday and never let her doubt it. Never make her regret it. Sam is a wonderful person and deserves to be happy. You make her happy. Take care of her."

Sirius eyed him suspiciously. "You sound like you're in love with her." Patrick sighed. His eyes widened. "Are you?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. I never treated her…well…like she deserved. I'm just trying to look out for her. It's the least I could do."

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* * *

Michael smiled when Sam sat down next to him on his bed while holding a sleeping Anna. "Hello there." He said.

Sam smiled and kissed his forehead. "Happy Christmas, Michael. How are you feeling today?"

He blushed. "Happy Christmas, Sammy. I'm doing just fine. Thank you for asking." He gulped when he saw her left hand. "What's that?"

She blushed and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but Sirius and I got engaged tonight."

He let out a shaky breath. "I guess congratulations are in order. I hope you two are happy together."

"Michael, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

She sighed. "I never meant to lead you on. I kissed you because I wanted to. I do love you, Michael. You're one of my best friends and I don't want you to hate me."

He smiled. "I don't hate you, Sammy. I just want you to be happy and Sirius makes you happy. We're still friends. You never have to worry about that."

Chris walked over to them and smiled. "Happy Christmas, you two!" They smiled at him. "I hear congratulations are in order. Your mother is telling everyone about your engagement to Sirius." He glanced back at where Frank and Kevin were joking around with Sirius and Patrick. "I never thought he would be capable of it. Sirius Black, of all people, settling down! It's too weird for words!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "He loves me, Chris. He wants to marry me."

"What do you want?"

She laughed. "I love him and want to be with him. It's not so hard to believe that we're engaged. Yes, it is a bit sudden but it makes sense to us."

He nodded. "I'm just surprised you forgave him after what he did to you." She glared at him. "Why are you looking at me like that? He cheated on you and humiliated you! He treated you horribly and you still took him back? I think you need to go back to St. Mungo's and get your head checked!"

Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. "How can you say that to me? He made a mistake! He said he was sorry! He loves me! I thought you would be happy for me!"

Chris sighed. "I want you to be happy. I just think that you are rushing into this. Think about this rationally. You were planning on getting back with Lupin and kissed Michael. Now, you are engaged to Sirius! Sammy, you're acting a little crazy! You're all over the place! What happens when you wake up in ten years and realize you rushed things?"

Her breathing was heavy. She stood up and growled. "Remus was a mistake! I'll never get back together with him again! I kissed Michael because I wanted to! He's happy for me, why can't you be?" He just shook his head. "I won't wake up in ten years and regret marrying Sirius! We are waiting until I finish school! That's more than enough time to make sure that this is right. We love each other. We know this is right." Anna woke up and started to cry. "If you'll excuse me, I have to feed the baby."

Michael shook his head at her retreating form. "You handled that well."

He shrugged. "She had to hear the truth. She is making a mistake."

"She doesn't think so."

"When has she ever thought rationally when it comes to Sirius?"

He laughed. "That's true. Why did you say all that to her? Why did you bring up St. Mungo's? You know how she hated it there."

He sighed. "I was just tired of her leading you on. It's been six years and she keeps hurting you." He groaned. "I didn't mean to bring up St. Mungo's. That was uncalled for."

Michael smiled. "I appreciate that you are trying to look out for me but she is your friend too. I wanted her to be happy. I've just realized that I've got to give up on her. I've got to move on. I'll still be her friend but I know now that nothing will ever happen between us." Chris nodded. "You have to apologize to her."

"I know. I will."

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* * *

Sirius was worried about Sam. Ever since her conversation with Chris and Michael, she became quiet. She spent most of her time with Anna and him. The mood was tense between her and Chris. They talked briefly before they left. He followed her to her room and watched her change into her pajamas. She still wasn't talking. "Baby, what's the matter?" She just shook her head. "I thought getting engaged would make you happy. Are you regretting it?"

Sam stopped pacing and smiled. She hugged him tightly and kissed him as they sat down on her bed. "I am happy about our engagement. I don't regret it at all. I love you so much and can't wait to spend my life with you."

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear it." She smiled again. "If you are happy about our engagement then why are you upset?" She sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder and told him about what Chris said to her. He growled. "I'll kill him for saying that to you!"

"He sort of apologized but it just really upset me."

He sighed. "Sam, you know that I love you, right?" She nodded eagerly. "I don't want you to ever doubt that again." He kissed her. "It doesn't matter what anyone else says. We love each other and that's all that matters. We want to be together and we will be. We have each other and that's all we need."

She smiled. "Thank you for that, Sirius. I really needed to hear that." He smiled. "I almost forgot! I wanted to give you your present!" She leaned over and opened her bedside table drawer. She took out a book and handed it to him. "I-It's not much. Mama helped me make it. I hope you like it."

Sirius stared at it in surprise. It was a photo album with the title: "The Story of Us." on the cover. He opened it carefully and smiled. The first picture he saw was of James, Sam, and him in their house during his first Christmas at Hogwarts. They were smiling and waving while sitting on the floor in a middle of opened presents. A ten year old Sam was blushing and smiling while an eleven year old Sirius wrapped an arm around her. "This is wonderful, Sammy." He whispered.

She blushed. "Do you really like it?" He nodded. "I thought it would be perfect for you to remember all the good times while I am not around."

He stared at the blank pages in the back of the book. "It's not finished."

"I was saving those pages for our wedding day."

He kissed her. "That's a brilliant idea." She smiled. He set the book down on the table before kissing her again. "I love you so much. I can't wait to marry you."

She laughed when he pulled her onto his lap and started kissing her neck. She rubbed his shoulders eagerly. "It seems like you can't wait to start the honeymoon."

He laughed into her neck. She stood up and walked over to her dresser. "Are you ok?"

She smiled as she removed her earrings. "I'm fine. I just wanted to put away my new earrings."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her bare shoulder. She bit her lip when his lips moved to the back of her neck. She turned around in his arms and let out an excited gasp when he pushed her up against the wall. He fumbled with the drawstring to her pajama bottoms. "You should never be allowed to wear pants around me again." She laughed. He grunted. "Did you glue these together or something?"

Sam rolled her eyes. She turned him around and pushed him against the wall. His eyes widened in pleasant surprise. She unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. "I love you, Madman."

His eyes rolled back into his head when her tongue traced his belly button. "Oh, I _really_ love you, Sammy." He stifled a moan. "I want you so much right now."

James ran into the room. "They said yes! They gave me their blessing!" He screamed when he saw them.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter ran up the stairs. "James, what's wrong?" Mr. Potter asked.

His eyes widened and shut the door quickly. "N-Nothing is wrong."

They eyed him closely. "Then why did you scream?" His mother asked.

The door opened behind him and Sam looked at them. "W-What's the matter?"

James and Sam avoided eye contact and blushed. "What's going on with the two of you? Why did you scream like a girl, James?" Their father asked.

He started to stammer but stopped when Sam gave him a pleading look. "I walked in on Sam when she was changing."

"Is that all?" Mrs. Potter asked with a smile.

They looked disgusted. "I-I saw my baby sister…I'm scarred for life!"

Sam punched him in the arm. "Like it was some great pleasure for me to have you walk in when I…! Learn to knock!"

Sirius poked his head out of his room. "What's going on?"

Sam and James stared at him in surprise. They didn't understand how he could be in his room when he was just in Sam's. Mrs. Potter smiled. "Nothing really. James walked in on Sammy while she was changing and screamed like a girl."

"You screamed like a girl, Prongs?"

He went red in the face. "I did not! That was Sam!"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't scream at all. You're just embarrassed because you sounded like a big scared girl!" He glared at her. "What was so damn important that you ran into my room like that?"

He smiled. "They said yes! They gave me their blessing!" Sam gasped in delight and went to hug him but he stopped her. "Hug me tomorrow. The shock of seeing you like that should wear off by then." She rolled her eyes in response.

Sirius gave him a tight hug. "This is amazing! Congratulations mate! Getting their approval is the hardest part. Now, all you have to do is ask. It helps to ease the nerves when you know she'll say yes."

Mrs. Potter and Sam shared a look and rolled their eyes. "Sirius, you were dripping with sweat when you asked me! Don't try to deny it!"

"I didn't say I wasn't nervous! I was completely terrified but it would have been even worse if I didn't make you promise."

"Wait! You two are engaged? Officially?" James asked. They nodded and Sam showed him her ring. "This is excellent! All I have to do is get Lily to say yes and then everything will be how it's supposed to be!" He looked at Sam. "You better tell Lily. She was annoyed that you didn't tell her about getting back together with Sirius."

"She is going to yell at me! I hate it when she does that!" Sam groaned. "Is it ok if I floo to her tonight?"

"It's fine but don't be too long." Mrs. Potter said.

Sirius followed her downstairs and held her to him. "Do you have to go right now? Wouldn't you want to finish what we were doing before we were rudely interrupted?" She blushed. He kissed her and tightened her hold. "I want you so much right now."

James walked down the stairs and groaned. "Can't you two ever stop?"

He glared at him. "Can't you ever stop interrupting us?"

He rolled his eyes. "Keep your hands off of my sister and I won't interrupt you."

"Like that's going to happen." Sirius and Sam said in unison.

She kissed him. "I'll be back in a few minutes…or longer. It depends on how long the lecture she will give me will take." She left.

James sighed. "That was disturbing! I never want to see that ever again!"

"Learn to knock and you won't."

He smacked him upside the head. "You're such an ass!" Sirius smiled and shrugged. "You really did it, huh?"

Sirius smirked. "We were about to but you walked in on us."

James sneered. "I'll be having nightmares for a week after seeing that I hope you know!" He shrugged. "I meant, you really proposed tonight? You are really ready to be with only her?"

He smiled and sat down on the sofa. "Yes, I did. Yes, I am. It just seems like everything is coming together. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

He rolled his eyes as he sat down in the arm chair. "You can't think like that, mate! Just enjoy it and deal with whatever crap comes up. That's all you can do."

Sirius nodded and smiled. "You're right. I shouldn't worry. Thanks mate."

James shrugged. "Not a problem." He sighed and stared at his best friend and his brother closely. "You haven't told her the truth yet."

He sighed. "No, I haven't. It's just bad timing all around. First the attack happened and then we got back together. We broke up and got back together and just got engaged. Plus, it's Christmas! I didn't want to ruin Christmas for her."

"No, you just didn't want to deal with it. You don't want her to know that you broke up with her because you were a git. You don't want her to know that what you said to _him_ might have caused the attack on her and Michael. You know she will be upset and probably break up with you again. She will say things she doesn't really mean and after a couple of days of not talking, I'll be catching you in my sister's room again. You may not want to deal with it but you have to tell her. She has a right to know the truth. When you tell her the real reason about you breaking up with her, it won't be so bad. Yes, she will be annoyed but the fact that you broke up with Sarah will work in your favor." Sirius noticeably winced. He groaned loudly. "Padfoot, please, tell me that you did break up with her. Please, tell me the truth and say you broke up with her."

"Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to tell you I broke up with her?"

"That's it! I'm going to kill you! If you think that you are going to propose to my sister so you can get one last shag out of her and go back to Sarah, you are sadly mistaken!"

Sirius held his hands up in defense. "Mate, calm down! I'm not using Sam! I really do love her. I was planning on breaking up with Sarah the night of the ball but we…the attack happened. I haven't seen or spoken to her since!"

"You're killing me! You know that, right? You are literally killing me! How do you expect me to help you convince her to stay with you when you keep pulling this crap?"

"Mate, I know it was wrong to lie but I had to! I had to get Sam back! I'll tell Sarah it's over and you won't have to worry. I promise it will all work out. I promise not to pull this crap anymore."

James groaned. "You better not! Padfoot, you're my best mate and hopefully, if you don't screw it up, you'll be my brother but you're making it difficult for me not to kick your ass." He sighed. "Just do me a favor, ok?"

"What is it?"

"Try not to break her heart again." He nodded. "I'm a bad brother." He muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "No, you're not! You're great with Sam and love her very much. You've got the patience of a saint when it comes to me. Prongs, you're an amazing brother!"

He shook his head in defeat. "No, I'm not."

"Why do you think that you're a bad brother?"

James sighed. "I let you hurt her." He muttered.

His eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"I noticed how you treated her when you first got together. I let you treat her like crap. I knew that it was only a matter of time before you broke up with her and I let you."

"Prongs, you constantly yelled at me for that! You told me to get my act together but I didn't listen! It's not your fault! I acted like a prat!"

He shook his head. "I should have warned her. I shouldn't have made those jokes about you being whipped by her. I knew it would bother you but I did it anyway. I just didn't think you would break up with her over it. I never thought you would cheat on her either." Sirius sighed in response. "I saw how upset she was and I didn't do anything to help her. She was so depressed and her heart was completely broken and I just say by and did nothing. I let her get so down and depressed. I just demanded that she get over it. I practically threw her at _Snivellus_ when I forbade her to see him. I knew she wouldn't listen. I knew she would continue to see _him_ out of spite. I wasn't there for her like I should have been."

Sirius shook his head. "That's not true, mate."

"I ignored her when she needed me. The only reason I started to pay attention was after I found out what happened between her and Remus and you. The only reason I paid attention was because…she was sent away. That night she was in my room and crying…it was like she was begging me to give a damn. I'm a terrible brother."

He groaned. "James, you aren't a terrible brother! You were caught in the middle. Sam pushed everyone away and probably wouldn't want your help even if you did offer it. She wanted to get a reaction out of me by hanging around that prat! It wasn't your fault that she was sent away. She loves you, mate."

"I chose you over her."

"No, you didn't!"

James glared at him. "I might as well have! I let you hurt her and I wasn't there for her!"

Sirius looked at him closely. "Where is this coming from? You seemed fine just a minute ago. Why the sudden change?"

He shrugged. "I don't know really. It just seems like things are moving way too fast. You two are engaged and I practically am to Lily. I don't know what I'm saying really."

"You're afraid that you're losing her, aren't you?"

"I guess that's it. I know it's stupid but that's just the way I'm feeling. I wouldn't blame her if she did think I chose you over her."

He smiled at him encouragingly. "I doubt she thinks that. You could never lose her, mate. That healer said so himself. She loves you very much and thinks of you as her hero."

He nodded. "I guess you're right. I need sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight mate."

James stood up and went to the stairs but stopped to look at him. "You won't hurt her again, right?"

"No, I won't."

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* * *

Lily was sitting in her living room reading a book when Sam flooed in. She jumped off of the sofa and ran over to her best friend. They hugged tightly. "Sam, what the hell are you doing here?" Lily exclaimed.

Sam smiled at her best friend. "I missed you!" Lily rolled her eyes. "Also, I've got some news."

She held up her hand. "James already told me about your pre-engagement to Sirius. Thanks for telling me about that by the way."

She laughed. "Well, I have some more news for you."

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone always ask me that? No, I'm not. Sirius proposed tonight and we are officially engaged!"

They started jumping up and down while screaming loudly. Mr. and Mrs. Evans ran into the room and were surprised to see Lily and Sam hugging while jumping as they screamed their heads off in excitement. "What's going on? Why are you screaming? Samantha, is that you? What are you doing here? How'd you get here?" Mr. Evans groaned. "I'm so confused."

The girls laughed at him. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I hope you had a very happy Christmas. I just wanted to see Lily and tell her something very important. I hope you don't mind since it's eleven at night. I flooed here from my house. I hope you don't mind."

Mr. Evans smiled. "It's quite alright. We don't mind. Try not to scream so much. Petunia is upstairs, resting. She has a terrible headache."

Sam smiled sweetly. "Of course, sir. We won't disturb her one bit." Lily snorted in response.

He nodded. "It's good to see you again, Samantha." She smiled. "I'm off to bed. Have a good night, girls."

Mrs. Evans looked at them anxiously. "So, what was so important that you couldn't wait to tell Lily?"

They smiled at her. Lily grabbed Sam's left hand and thrusted it at her mother. She gasped. "Would you look at that? Sirius proposed to her tonight!"

She hugged Sam and laughed. "Congratulations sweetheart! This is so exciting! James told us that you were talking about getting engaged!"

She blushed. "He asked me before we went to Hogwarts to visit with Michael. I was so surprised. I thought he was going to wait to ask me at the end of the year or something." They smiled. "It was completely amazing! This ring…it has this weird power." She explained what happened as best she could.

Their mouths hung open in shock. "A-Are you kidding me?" Lily asked. She shook her head. "That's…wow! Ten whole minutes? It glowed for ten whole minutes?"

"Yes, it did."

Mrs. Evans grinned. "You never know, Lily. When James proposes to you, your ring could glow longer."

Lily rolled her eyes while Sam hid her smile. "Mum, James isn't proposing!"

"Would you mind if he did?" Sam asked.

She blushed. "No, I wouldn't." They laughed. "I know he's the one. I really know. It would be amazing if he did but I don't think he will."

"Why not?" They asked in unison.

She shrugged. "We haven't been together all that long. Plus, I doubt he'd be ready for that big of a commitment."

They rolled their eyes. "Have you actually ever met my brother?" Lily gave her a look. "Don't look at me like that, Evans! He's been crazy about you since the day you met! I think he's wanted to marry you once he saw you!"

Lily smiled. "Do you really think so?" They nodded eagerly. "It would be wonderful if we did get married!"

Mrs. Evans smiled at them. "I'll leave you two alone now. Congratulations again, Samantha. Have a good night, girls."

"Oh, Mrs. Evans?" She turned around and smiled. "James wanted me to tell you that he had a great time and to thank you for everything."

She smiled. "The pleasure was all ours. He is such a wonderful boy and loves our Lily so much!" Lily blushed. "Tell your brother that he is welcome back anytime."

She left the room and they sat down facing each other on the sofa. "I can't believe you and Sirius are together again! I can't believe he proposed! Tell me everything that has happened! I don't see you for a couple of days and everything changes completely! Tell me! Start from the beginning!" Sam laughed and filled her in. Lily made a face. "I'm sorry but that Abby girl sounds like a little brat. Don't get me wrong, I love kids and can't wait to have a house filled of my own but I would have put her up for adoption."

Sam let out a loud laugh. "I doubt you would do that! Abby is sweet but yes, she can be a bit of a brat."

"I just can't believe Patrick has a daughter! I can't believe that slut is the mother and gave her up like that. All she would do was talk about marrying Sirius and having kids with him."

She sneered. "I didn't know that."

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius would just tell her that she should stop saying things like that. He knew that it would never happen."

"Do you think I got in the way of his relationship with her? I know he loved her-"

Lily interrupted her by laughing. "Sirius _never_ loved her! He could barely stand her! All he did was talk about you. It got worse when you were sent away. He would mope around and say how much he loved and missed you. It was quite annoying really."

Sam was surprised. "He didn't love her?" Lily nodded. "That doesn't make sense. He said he loved her when he broke up with me."

"He, obviously, lied."

"Why would he do that?"

Lily shrugged. "Who knows? You'll have to ask him." Sam nodded. "Enough about that! Tell me what else happened." She listened intently as her best friend continued. "Patrick kissed you?" Sam nodded. "Did you tell Sirius what happened?" She nodded again. "He must have been pissed!"

"Oh, he was! He said I wasn't allowed to see Michael alone again."

"He said you weren't allowed?"

"Yes, he did!"

"What an ass! He thinks he owns you! I say kick his ass!"

Sam laughed. "We worked everything out. Patrick apologized to him and we are still fine." Lily smiled. "Tell me what you've been up to."

She smiled. "Nothing has been going on really. Well, nothing as exciting as what's been going on with you." Sam rolled her eyes. "I mostly ignore my sister and her disgusting fiancée. I swear he looks like a pig in a wig!"

She giggled. "Lily, you're lying!"

Lily turned red from laughter. "I'm not! He is a big fat pig! He is boring as hell. All he talks about is his job and his new car. They are perfect for each other! They are so _perfect_! It makes me sick!"

"Lily, that's too funny!" She smiled. "What else has been going on?"

She shrugged. "I've been reading and spending time with some old friends. I-I've been talking to Remus a lot. I'm really worried about him."

Her eyes widened with concern. "Is he ok? Is there something wrong with Remus?"

She sighed. "He's not doing so well."

"Tell me what's wrong with him!"

"Remus misses you. He's really upset about how things were left between the two of you. He blames himself for the attack."

Sam's face paled. "He doesn't!"

"He does."

"I-It was his fault! Why would he blame himself? I certainly don't blame him and I know Michael doesn't."

Lily stared at her closely. "Sam, you said you didn't want him to come near you again. You said you hated him. When you were attacked, he thought it was all his fault."

She sighed. "I was upset when I said those things. He was drunk and called me a whore _again_! He said terrible things to me and I was upset. Severus would have attacked me regardless. I-I don't blame him."

"You need to talk to him. You need to forgive him for his behavior and let him know that it wasn't his fault."

"Do you think it's too late to talk to him now?" She shrugged. "You wouldn't mind me cutting our visit short? I promise to tell you everything that happens between us."

Lily smiled. "You better! Now, you go talk to him!" Sam left.

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* * *

Mr. Lupin was sitting in his dark green armchair and read his paper. He sighed when he read about another mysterious disappearance. He gasped when he saw Sam enter his living room from the fireplace. She smiled sheepishly at him as she dusted herself off. "Hello Mr. Lupin." He just stared at her in surprise. "I'm sorry to intrude at such a late hour but I really need to speak with Remus. Is that alright with you, sir?"

He nodded. "I-It's alright, Sam. He is up in his room. I'll take you to him." He escorted her upstairs but stopped to look at her before knocking. "Remus told me what happened."

"About the attack."

"About everything." Her eyes widened. He gave her a brief hug. "I'm glad you are alright." She smiled. "My son really does love you. He has been really upset since he got home. I hope you can forgive him."

"I'm going to try, sir."

He left her alone and Sam knocked on the door. "Go away!" She heard Remus grunt. She knocked again. "I said go away!" She rolled her eyes and walked in. Remus had his back to her and was facing the window. He groaned when she shut the door. "Dad, I just want to be alone." She walked closer to him. He sighed. "I had that dream about Sam again. She said she deserved to die and deserved what _he_ tried to do to her." He sighed again. "I miss her so much, Dad. I just wish I could talk to her. I just want her to know how sorry I am and that I really do love her." Remus turned around and opened his eyes. He gasped when he saw her standing there. "Sammy?" She nodded. "Am I dreaming again?"

Sam walked over to him slowly. Her heart ached when she looked at him. He looked like he barely slept or ate. He looked like utter crap. "H-Have you been dreaming of me?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, I have. You know I have. You're dressed differently this time but it seems to be the same one."

She sighed and stood in front of him. "This isn't a dream, Remus. I'm really here with you." He looked confused and pinched her arm. "Ow! That hurt, you git!" She punched him in the arm.

He groaned. "Ow! That hurt!" He gasped. "It's really you!"

She smiled. "Yes, it is." She sat down next to him. "I was talking to Lily and she told me that she was worried about you."

"Why?"

"She said that you were really upset about our fight. She said that you blamed yourself for the attack."

Remus sighed as he sat up. "If I didn't say those things to you then you wouldn't have run out and been attacked."

Sam touched his hand. "I would have been attacked regardless. What you said to me…it hurt and it was wrong but the attack wasn't your fault. Michael and I don't blame you at all." He stared at her hand while it rested on his. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I was upset…I don't hate you."

He pulled her into a tight hug and buried his face in her neck. She was surprised by this and wrapped her arms around him slowly. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. I never meant what I said to you. I love you, Sammy. I'm so sorry."

"Shh! Remus, I know you're sorry. It's going to be ok." She murmured into his ears while rubbing his back.

He held her face in his hands. She placed her hands on his forearms. "I never meant what I said. I was never with Hannah after she broke up with me. You are too good for me. You are the furthest thing from a whore. I have never loved anyone except you. I know you said someday I'll love someone else more than I love you but you're the only one I've ever loved." He kissed her.

Her eyes widened and pushed him away. He looked at her with hurt in his eyes. "Remus, I-I know that you're sorry. I know that you love me. I love you too."

Remus smiled at her. "Y-You do?" She nodded. "Then we can be together again! I'll be better than before! We can start over! We can be happy again!"

Sam shook her head. "We can't be together, Remus."

"W-Why not?"

"You're going to be upset when I tell you. You might say some things you don't mean."

"Please, just tell me why we can't be together."

She sighed as she showed him her left hand. He gasped when he saw the ring. "I got back together with Sirius. He proposed to me tonight. We plan to get married after I finish school."

He gave her a pained expression. "Are you purposely trying to hurt me?" She looked at him in surprise and shook her head. "Are you lying just to hurt me?"

"Remus, I'd never do that! Sirius loves me and I love him. We want this."

He stood up and walked to the window. "How could you take him back after everything he did to you? He treated you like crap! He doesn't deserve you!"

"How can you say that about your best mate?"

He turned around and faced her. "He cheated on you! He humiliated you! He said all those terrible things to you!"

She stood up and glared at him. "You did the same exact things to me and I forgave you! Why can I forgive you but not him?"

"He doesn't deserve you! He never knew how to treat you!"

"And you did?" He shook his head. She pushed him. "You cheated on me when I was pregnant! You have no right to judge him!"

His eyes widened. "Y-You weren't pregnant. Y-You thought you were."

"That's what I said." She growled as she pushed him again.

"No, you didn't! You said you _were_ pregnant!"

Sam groaned. "I never was! You know that! It was an honest mistake!" She pushed him up against the wall. "I loved and trusted you but you broke all that when you were with Hannah! I forgave you! I was ready to give it another go but you just had to get drunk and hurt me! Whenever we have a problem you hurt me!" His chin trembled. "Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to hurt me like that again?"

Tears built up in his eyes as he stared at her. "I-I was hurt by you dancing with Michael. I-I'm sorry I hurt you again. I'm horrible. I hurt the only person I ever loved."

She started to cry and he hugged her. She held onto him tightly. "I'm horrible. I ignored you and practically threw myself at Michael. I knew how he felt about me and…I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Remus. I never want to hurt you. I love you so much. I deserved what Severus did to me. I deserve worse. I'm not a good person."

Remus shook his head. "Don't say that! You are a good person. You didn't deserve what happened. You aren't a terrible person. I am. I hurt you for no reason."

"You aren't a bad person. I wouldn't have been in love with you for so long if you were." She held him tightly. "Can you forgive me for acting the way I did at the ball? Can you forgive me for what I said? Can you forgive me for getting back together with Sirius?"

They wiped away each other's tears. He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I can forgive you for all of that if you can forgive me. It does hurt that you are engaged to someone else but I'll have to get over it because I still want you in my life. I'll love you forever and if I can only be your friend to have you in my life then that's fine."

She kissed him. "I love you too, Moony. I want us to be ok. I hate it when we fight. I'll always love you. I'll never stop." He smiled for the first time in days. "I need you in my life, Remus."

They lay down on his bed and curled against each other. He held her to him and she sighed in content. "Tell me what's been going on with you. How did you two get back together? Tell me everything!" She laughed and filled him in. he laughed. "Wow! That was an ear full!" She giggled. His heart swelled at the sound. "I can't believe Patrick has a daughter and Sarah's the mother. That just seems wrong!"

Sam laughed. "It does but Anna is so wonderful! Oh Remus, if you saw her, you would fall in love with her immediately!"

He smiled sadly at her. "It hurts you, doesn't it?" She gave him a curious look. "It hurts that even though you can have children that there is a good chance your children will have a daughter and she will become a dream seer like you."

She nodded her head against his chest. "Yes, it does. I knew you would understand. Sirius doesn't want to. He said we could it explain it to our children and help them. I don't want anyone else to have to see what I do. No one should see that."

"What do you see?"

"It doesn't matter. I can't change it." She smiled at him. "Do you ever think about the baby we might have had?"

Remus nodded. "I have. Why do you ask?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I was just wondering." She laughed. "He would have been a summer baby." He smiled. "I would have wanted him to have your beautiful spirit and patience. He would have been handsome just like you."

He kissed the top of her head. "I would have wanted him to have your sense of loyalty and love. He would have had your smile and eyes and sense of humor."

She blushed. "I would have wanted to name him John."

"Why that name? Why do you think the baby would have been a boy?"

"I don't know why I think it would have been a boy. I guess I just loved the idea of having a little you running around." He laughed. "I chose that name because it's your middle name and it's a great name."

He caressed her cheek and smiled. "John would have been a wonderful name for him. I like the name Marissa for a girl."

She smiled and touched his cheek. "Marissa Lupin? That would have been a lovely name."

"I would have wanted her to look like you. Of course, I'd have been pulling my hair out when she would start dating. Imagine all the boys lined up outside her door! I'd have to hurt them if they hurt our little girl!"

Sam laughed and kissed his cheek. "She would have had you wrapped around her little finger." He shrugged and nodded. "It's nice."

"What is?"

"Thinking about our would-be baby. I would love to be a mother one day."

Remus smiled. "You would be a wonderful mother, Sam."

She smiled. "Thank you. You would be an amazing father, Hero."

"I can't be a father. There's a chance that my child would become what I am."

"It wouldn't matter. There's also a chance that your child wouldn't become a werewolf. The child would be loved no matter what."

He kissed her. "Thank you for that."

Sam rested on her elbows and stared at him. "Do you think I'm making a mistake by marrying Sirius?"

Remus sighed. "It's not a mistake if you two love each other." She gave him a look. "I-I think you are moving a little fast but if this is what you want then it's not a mistake. You're planning to get married after you are finished at Hogwarts and that's more than enough time to make sure it's right."

She nodded. "You're right. We have more than enough time to make sure. Thank you." He smiled. "Can we just lay here for a while? I've missed being around you."

He smiled as he held her closely. "Whatever you want, Sammy."

She smiled. "I'll always love you, Remus. Never doubt that, ok?"

"I never will. I love you too." She closed her eyes and sighed into his chest. His heart hurt. She forgave him but was now engaged to his best friend. They still loved each other but they would never be together again. He selfishly hoped that Sirius would screw it all up again so he could have another chance but quickly dismissed the idea. He didn't want her hurt again. He loved her with all his heart and wanted her to be happy even if it was with someone else. "I'll always love you too, Sammy." He whispered into her hair before closing his eyes.

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Sam crept upstairs and walked into her room. The sun was peeking through the horizon as she closed the door. She sighed when she saw Sirius sleeping peacefully in her bed. She eased herself carefully down on the bed and got under the covers. She closed her eyes and rested her head on her pillow. Her eyes flew open when she heard his voice. "Where were you?"

She didn't answer. "Where were you?" He repeated.

Sam felt him turn over but she kept her back to him. "You know where I was." She muttered into her pillow.

"I know where you were but where did you go after that? Your mum talked to Lily when you didn't come home but she didn't tell me where you went afterwards." He said. He didn't understand why she wouldn't face him. "Just tell me where you went. Did you go to school? Did you see Michael? Did you see Patrick?" She sighed and he groaned. "Why won't you look at me? What's going on?"

She turned around and sighed. "I'm facing you now."

Sirius closed his eyes in frustration. He opened them slowly and saw her looking at him with a bored look in her eyes. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Remus."

He nodded slowly. He thought she did. He could smell him all over her. "He kissed you. You kissed him."

Her eyes widened. "H-How did you know that?"

Sirius felt his heart pounding in his chest. "I can smell him on you. It's one of the benefits of being an animagus." She nodded. "How could you?"

Sam sighed. "It wasn't like that. Remus kissed me because he thought we could get back together. I pushed him away."

"Why did you kiss him?" He growled.

"He gave me his blessing to marry you. He was upset by the news of our engagement but he still wants me in his life even if it's just as a friend. That's all."

He stared at her. Something seemed off with her. "Did you sleep with him?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. _I_ wouldn't cheat on you."

"Then what aren't you telling me? Why do I get the feeling that you are hiding something?"

"I don't know. Maybe you're going crazy."

Sirius stopped her from rolling over by laying his body on top of hers. She stared at him with wide eyes and tried to get free. "We aren't finished talking."

She groaned. "Can we talk about this later? I'm tired and want to go to sleep."

"Tired from shagging one of my best mates?"

Sam tried to move her legs to knee him in the groin but they were pinned down to the bed. He was smirking at her. "The only person I've been shagging since the attack is you! The kiss was just a thank you. It didn't mean anything. Could you get off me now?"

He shook his head. "Not until you tell me everything that happened between the two of you tonight."

"Nothing happened. We just talked!"

He held her face in his hands and forced her to look him in the eye. "What did you talk about?"

She managed a slight shrug. "We talked about the night of the ball and about the attack."

"What else?"

"We talked about the baby." She muttered.

"What baby?"

Sam sighed. "The baby we would have had if I was pregnant last year like I thought I was."

Sirius rolled off of her and sighed. "Why did you talk about that?"

She rested her head on her pillow and stared at him. "I told him about Anna and he knew that I can't have kids." He sighed. "He knew it hurts me that as much as I want them that I choose not to have them because I don't want anyone to see what I do. He understands that. Then I asked him if he ever thought about our would-be baby. He has."

He nodded. "Anything else?"

A faint smile appeared on her face. "We just talked about what the baby would be like. If it would be a boy or girl and the names we would have picked."

Sirius felt a pain in his chest. He knew about the pregnancy scare that they went through last year. He knew that after everything that happened between them, they were still close and had a strong bond and connection with each other. He knew all this but it still didn't stop him from feeling hurt and jealous. "What names did you pick?"

"I wanted John if it was a boy and he wanted Marissa if it was a girl."

He smiled barely. "They sound like nice names."

Sam noticed the sad tone in his voice and sighed. "I'm not saying all of this to hurt you. I just want to be honest with you."

He let out a shaky breath. "I know. I just…you still seem to be a bit off. Is there something else on your mind?"

She held his hand. "No, there isn't." He kept staring at her. "I don't know what it is." She sighed. "Do you think we are rushing things a bit?"

"What do you mean?"

"Two months ago we couldn't be around each other and now we are engaged. I was with Remus, in a way, and you were with Sarah and now we are together. Don't you think we're moving too fast?"

Sirius gulped. This is not what he wanted to hear at all. "Y-You don't want to be with me? You don't want to marry me?"

She shook her head. "That's not what I'm saying at all. Sirius, I love you with my whole heart! I can't wait for the day when we are married! I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. Everything has just happened so fast and in such a short amount of time. It's a bit scary."

"Sam, do you want to be with me?" She nodded. "You love me?" She smiled and nodded. "I know it's happening quickly but we have time. We're planning on waiting for over a year to get married. This is right. You and I…we make sense together. We have our problems and we promised to fight like hell to get past them and stay together. I swear that I'm committed to you and to us. I won't hurt you again. I won't cheat on you again. I love you and want my life to be with only you. I know I've told you this all before and I'm willingly going to say it everyday until I die. You are the only person I want to wake up next to in the morning. You are the only one I want to see before I go to sleep. You. Are. It. For. Me. There's no doubt in my mind. We can make this work. I understand why you have doubts but it will be ok. We can do this. We have time to figure everything else out."

She leapt onto him and kissed him repeatedly. "You're right. I'm sorry I doubted you again. I promise not to give up on us. I can honestly say that I will love you forever!"

He laughed and held her tightly. "Thank you. I needed to hear that." He kissed her. "You need to get some sleep! We can talk more later if you want." She smiled and nodded. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and sighed in content when she rested her head against his bare chest. He felt her breathing deeply a few minutes later and sighed. He felt like his heart was in knots along with his stomach. He understood why she still had doubts about him. He wasn't stupid. It would take some time for him to completely gain her trust again. He had hurt her so deeply and was happy that she took him back. Sirius wished he could take all the pain he caused her back but knew it was impossible. He had to be patient, which wasn't his strong suit, and wait for her to be completely sure. He knew he loved her and would never stop. He just wished she could understand that like she used to. His heart swelled when she him tightly in her sleep. Sam needed him just as much as he needed her. He was scared as hell that she would give up after he confessed the truth to her. He hoped beyond hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him his past sins and stay with him. He was terrified she would leave him. "Please, don't leave me, Sammy. I love you." He whispered in her ear. She snuggled closer to him when she heard his voice and he smiled. Having her in his arms like this meant everything to him. "I'll always love you, Sammy."


	49. Chapter 48: Run

Author's Note: I hope you like this!

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Chapter 48: Run.

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Sirius was lying down in Sam's room and was staring at the ceiling. Sam was at school visiting Michael and James was visiting Lily. They asked him to join them but he decided to stay behind. He had to have some time alone. He needed to think about things. He didn't know what to do. Sam was still having doubts about his intentions. He knew that they just got back together and they had a lot of things to work through but he never expected the back and forth they kept going through. It seemed like everything kept coming at them and he didn't know how to stop it. He loved her with all his heart. He only wanted her.

He sighed as he shifted his body around to get comfortable. He smiled when he remembered how he woke up that morning. Sam was lying on top of him and kissed his face, neck, and chest until he finally woke up. He was awake once she lay on top of him but couldn't resist pretending to be asleep to see what she would do to wake him up. After a few minutes of kissing his chest, she leaned in to kiss his lips and he grabbed her. She squealed in delight when he rolled over and started to kiss her back. "I love waking up with you in our bed." She murmured.

Sirius smiled as his hands glided over the comforter. Their bed. That's what she had called it. It felt like their room and their bed to him. It all started to feel real to him. It wasn't just about sleeping with her. It was more than that to him. It was being with her again, making her laugh, making her happy, loving her, and just being around her again. He was afraid of her not loving him anymore. He knew that when he confesses everything to her that she'll be upset but they promised to work through whatever problems came their way. She would be pissed off at him but he knew, or rather hoped against hope, that she would understand and forgive him.

"I'm going to marry her." He whispered with a smile as he saw a picture of them together on the bedside table. The picture was from last year. They were in the common room, talking. It was a week after school started and it was when he was secretly in love with her. It was one of the rare occasions that she wasn't with Moony and he had her all to himself. James was in detention, Lily was in the library with Remus and they were trying to help Peter with his Potions essay. Sirius never had enough patience to deal with helping Peter with his school work and Sam was never really fond of him so they decided to stay behind. They sat side by side on the window seat. She was working on her camera while he stared out the window with a lazy look in his eye. "Do you know what's great about you, Sammy?"

Sam rolled her eyes and smiled. "No, I don't. Why don't you tell me?"

Sirius stared at her closely for a full minute before smiling. "You can make what should be an incredibly boring night, fun."

She laughed and his heart swelled at the sound. He, lately at least, would desperately try and find ways to hear her laugh in anyway. It was music to his deaf ears. Nothing was sweeter than her smile, laugh, or voice in his opinion. He could honestly listen to her speak forever. He was hopelessly in love with her and there was nothing he could do about it. She was over her crush on him and was in love with one of his best friends. They were so incredibly happy together that he felt guilty for hating them being together. Sirius would dream about her constantly. She would always, in the dream, come to his room and say that he was the only one for her. No one else would do except him. Then he would wake up and become depressed. He would see her kiss Remus and whisper Merlin knows what into his best friend's ear that caused him to blush like a school girl. He would give anything to hear what she would say and to have her say it to him instead of Remus. "I don't know about that, Sirius. I'm just sitting here, playing with my camera while you look out the window. How is that fun?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just is! You have a way to make most mundane things interesting and fun." He took her hands in his. "You can make me feel like the happiest person on this planet just by sitting there doing nothing. No one else has that ability when it comes to me."

Sam blushed. "That's what Moony always says to me." His smile faded. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you're trying to hit on me. It's a good thing that I know you so well."

Sirius inwardly groaned. She, obviously, didn't know him that well after all. He was blatantly flirting with her and she just thought it was Sirius being his normal arrogant self with girls on her. "Yeah, it's a good thing."

She gasped in delight. "I finally fixed it! I'm lucky Chris just dropped it! The next thing you know, he'd sit on it and I'd have to get my father to fix it. That would take me the rest of my life to wait for that to happen!" Sirius laughed and she took his picture. She smiled. "That will be a good one!"

He grabbed the camera and she tried to hide her face. "Don't hide from the camera, Sammy! It's time for you to have your picture taken!"

"Sirius, I don't want my picture taken! I don't photograph well!"

He rolled his eyes. "That's the biggest pile of crap I've ever heard! You've had loads of great pictures taken of you! Come on, Sammy! Just let me take one!"

She sighed. "Ok, just one." She smiled and the flash went off. "That wasn't so bad, I guess."

Sirius winked at her. "You're beautiful. There's no doubt in my mind that this picture will be amazing!" She blushed. "Let's take one together."

"I'd have to go upstairs to get the tripod."

He shook his head. "No, you don't. I'll hold the camera while we pose." She nodded. He scooted closer to her and smiled when she wrapped her arms around him. He held the camera up and kissed her cheek as the flash went off. "See, that wasn't so bad."

Sam smiled slowly. "No, I guess it wasn't."

Sirius shook himself out of the memory and looked away from the photograph. He turned his head and his nose was filled with her scent that lingered on her pillow. He smiled. He was in love with her so deeply that he felt like he couldn't make it through the day without hearing from her. Next year was going to be hard to get through. They would be separated for the first time in a long time and he didn't know how he would cope. He sighed. He didn't want to think about that just yet. They still had the rest of the year and the entire summer together before that happened.

He sat up in surprise when he heard yelling downstairs. This confused him because Mr. and Mrs. Potter never fought and if they did, they were usually just joking around. He crept downstairs and stood by the kitchen door to listen. "Harold, we have to discuss this!"

"No, we don't, Evelyn! She is fine! We don't have to talk about this again!"

Mrs. Potter shook her head and sighed. "Yes, we do. Madam Pomfrey warned us about this. So did Professor Dumbledore. We have to make a decision."

Mr. Potter glared at his wife. "You know my decision. You're only fighting with me about this because it doesn't agree with your opinion."

"Do you think I enjoy talking about this? Do you honestly believe I want this to happen again?"

"I don't know. You keep bringing it up! She is fine! Why do we have to talk about this? She seems to be over the attack. She is engaged and happy. We have the real Sammy back now. Why do you want to ruin that?"

She sighed. "I don't want to ruin anything! I just…I don't think she is over the attack. It seems to me that she is pretending it never happened." She rubbed her temples. "This engagement to Sirius is just so sudden."

Sirius felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He thought she was happy for them. He thought she loved him like he was one of her own. "She isn't pretending. She is strong and trying to move past it in her own way." Mr. Potter grunted. "Sirius is a good boy and loves her. This engagement is a bit sudden and surprising but it's a good thing. He is like our own son! I wouldn't want anyone else with her!" Sirius smiled at this.

"I love him too! You know this! It's just all moving too fast! She was so heartbroken when they broke up! He cheated on her for Merlin's sake!" Sirius paled.

"No, he didn't! Sammy said so!"

Evelyn rolled her eyes. "Harold, how thick are you?" He glared at her. "Of course he cheated on her! So did Remus!" He refused to believe this. "She told me that was why she broke up with Remus. They had some sort of fight and he got drunk and she caught him with another girl! Sirius purposely cheated on her. I don't know all the facts but I know that much! I could have killed them with my bare hands for hurting our little girl but she forgave them. She loves them. It surprised me that she got back together with Sirius after what happened and it surprised me when they announced their engagement. I want her to be happy but she is acting irrationally! If we let this continue, it will only get worse! We have to send her to St. Mungo's. It's the only way!"

Harold sat down with a groan. "I could kill those two with my bare hands." He sighed. "I knew she was lying. I just didn't want to believe that they would hurt her like that." He sighed. "You're right. I know you are. We have to send her away."

Sirius' heart was pounding as he burst through the door. "No, you can't do that!"

They looked at him in surprise. "Sirius, how long have you been there?" Mrs. Potter asked quickly.

He glared at her. "Long enough! You can't do this! You can't send her away again!"

"Sirius, it's the only way. She needs the help of professionals."

"Sam is fine! Why are you doing this? We just got back together! Why do you want to take her away from me? I love her! Aren't you happy that we are engaged?"

Mr. Potter stood up. "Sirius, you know we love you. You know we are happy that you two are together and that you are engaged. We are happy that you love her but she has been through a lot lately. She needs to go back there."

Sirius was beyond upset. "You can't mean this! She is fine!"

She shook her head. "No, she isn't! She is pretending that the attack never happened."

"That's not true! Sam thinks about it all the time! She has had nightmares about it. I have been comforting her every night! She didn't tell you because she didn't want you to worry about her anymore than you already do. She didn't want to be sent away again."

They shook their heads in response. "This is hard for us too, son. We don't want this to happen but it needs to happen."

He looked at them with desperate eyes. "Mum, Dad, please, don't do this! There has to be another way!" They sighed. He growled. "I won't let you take her away again! I won't let you!"

"Sirius, calm down!" Mrs. Potter said.

"I'll take her away! I won't let you take her away from me again! I'll take her to a place where we can't be found just so she can't be sent there!"

Mr. Potter smiled sadly. "She is under age. You'd be committing a crime."

"I don't care! I'd go to Azkaban if it meant that she didn't have to go back there!" His face twisted in anger. "I'll take her away and that way you can't send her away!"

Mrs. Potter sighed. "You can't take her without our consent."

His chin trembled. "I'll find a way to get around that!" He was close to tears and he sighed. "Please, don't do this! I beg you to think about this. She will never forgive you."

She groaned. "Our minds are made up! There is nothing you can do! Samantha is going back to St. Mungo's and that's final!"

"NO!" They turned around and saw Sam standing there.

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Michael and Sam were sitting side by side on his bed, holding hands. She sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder. "How are you feeling today?" She asked.

He smiled and rested his head on hers. "I'm feeling better. How are you?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm doing ok. I'm just happy that you are getting better."

Michael sighed. "Are you still having nightmares about the attack?" She nodded slowly. "So am I." He lifted his head up and looked at her. "Do you think less of me for having nightmares?"

She looked at him in surprise. "I don't think less of you. I think you're brave." He blushed. She touched his cheek. "You risked your like to save mine. I owe you my life, Michael! I could never repay you for that. You having nightmares about the attack is normal. What we went through…it was horrible. I'd never think less of you for having a normal reaction to what happened."

He nodded his head. "You're right." She smiled. "I didn't do it so that you would be indebted to me. I did it because I care about you. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Sam smiled and blushed. "I care about you too, Michael. You mean a lot to me and I feel so guilty that you had to get hurt because I was stupid enough to be friends with…him."

Michael hugged her tightly. "This wasn't your fault. It was his. Sam, I don't blame anyone but him for what happened." She nodded her head against his shoulder. "I owe you my life too. You did your best to try and protect me after I was hit with that curse. You wouldn't let him hurt me. That means a lot."

Her chin trembled. "I couldn't let him hurt you again. I don't know what I would do if he did. I was so scared that you were dead. I could have killed him."

He kissed her cheek. "I would have done the same thing if he…" He trailed off. He shook his head. "I just don't understand why he wanted to hurt you."

She shrugged. "I have no idea. I keep thinking about it in my mind. I try so hard to remember if I did or said something to set him off somehow. I remember that we danced twice." Michael nodded. "He was annoyed that our friends kept glaring at us. He kissed me a couple of time to annoy them and I let him because I knew it was just a joke." She sighed. "I had noticed something was off about him while I was dancing with Sirius." Michael held in a sneer at the mention of Sirius. "I wanted to check on him but Sirius convinced me to wait until after our dance."

Michael was quiet for a moment before sighing. "That still doesn't explain why he went nutters. From what you've just said, he seemed to be fine the whole time he was with you. Something had to have happened to change all that. Maybe he was jealous that you were with Sirius?"

"No, that can't be it. He never had any romantic feeling toward me. We talked about it after I came back. We confessed to each other that at first we were just using each other to annoy James and the others but became friends because of it. I know that it sounds weird but that's how it was."

"I guess we'll never know why it happened."

Sam nodded. "I guess you're right." She sighed. "Michael, do you think we'll ever get past it? Do you think we will stop having those nightmares? Do you think a day will come when we won't be scared?"

He shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I hope so."

"Michael, I'm sorry I hurt you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I never noticed how you felt about me. Chris had to tell me. I know now that every time I would talk about Remus and Sirius with you that it hurt you. If I would have known I wouldn't have told you about them. I never want to hurt you but I always have in some way."

Michael smiled. "You didn't know. I can't blame you for that."

Sam smiled. "I want you to know that at the Christmas ball I was attracted to you. I did enjoy kissing you."

"Then why did you get back together with Sirius? Why are you engaged?"

She looked away from him. "I love him, Michael. I've tried to stop but I can't. I will always love him." She sighed. "If he never told me how he felt and begged me to come back to him, I might have waited for you."

He nodded slowly. "Well, we will never know what would have happened between us." She nodded. "I've realized that I have to give up on you. I can't waste anymore time on wishing we get together."

"Are you saying that we can't be friends anymore?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all! I still want to be your friend."

"I want that too." He smiled. "Could you do me a favor and not tell Sirius that I would have gone out with you?"

"Why not?"

She blushed. "I told him that I didn't really want you. He just gets so jealous that I didn't want him to be upset."

"I promise that I won't tell."

She sighed in relief and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Michael."

Chris walked over to them and rolled his eyes. "Doesn't this look cozy?"

Michael smiled at him. "Hey Chris! How's it going?"

He smiled at him. "It's going ok. Not as good as it's going for you right now." He glared at Sam. "Haven't you led him on enough?"

Sam sneered at him before smiling at Michael. "I should be going. I'll see you later, Michael."

"Can't you stand to be away from your fiancée for more than a few minutes? I think he wouldn't mind if you stayed to visit with the guy that saved your life for a little longer than two minutes!"

She glared at him. "I've come to visit Michael every day! Sirius doesn't mind! He wants to make sure Michael is ok. He would have come with me but he wasn't feeling well."

Chris smirked. "I'm sure being engaged to you would make anyone sick!" Before she could reply, he laughed. "Are you so sure he's sick? Aren't you worried that he is cheating on you again?"

Michael groaned. "Chris, leave her alone!"

"Why should I? All she has ever done is hurt you!"

Sam was fuming. She slapped Chris across his face. He stared at her with an opened mouth. "Don't you think I know I've hurt him? Don't you think I feel terrible about that? I never knew how he felt about me until _you_ betrayed his trust and told me!"

Chris rubbed his cheek. "The only reason you never noticed is because you were too selfish to give a damn!"

Michael had enough. His legs shook as he got out of bed and groaned loudly. "That's enough! I'm sick of this! Stop this right now! We finally became friends again and I'm not going to let you two ruin it over such a stupid reason!" They stared at him in shock. "Chris, she didn't know. She didn't mean to hurt me. She told me that if Sirius didn't beg her to come back she would have waited for me!" Chris' eyes widened. "Sam, he is just looking out for me! He doesn't want me to get hurt again!"

He started to topple over and they were at his side in seconds. They helped him get back into bed. "Michael, you have to stay in bed. We know you got out to prove a point but that's no reason to compromise your recovery to do that!" Sam said as she pulled the covers up around him.

Chris nodded. "Sam is right. Don't hurt yourself just because we're fighting."

Michael sighed. "I know I shouldn't have done it. I just don't want there to be anymore problems between us. We just became friends again. I don't want anything to jeopardize that. Chris, I appreciate that you want to look out for me but you have to understand that Sam never meant to hurt me. She wasn't being selfish when she didn't notice how I felt about her. We are just friends. She is happy and engaged to Sirius. I've realized that I have to give up on thinking that we will get together. You have to forgive her. You were friends with her before all this happened." Chris nodded slowly. "Sam, I know you never meant to hurt me. We are fine. We are still friends. There's no reason to worry about that. Chris is just looking out for me. You can understand that, right?" She nodded. "Now, I want you two to stop acting like children and make up! I'm not going to deal with anymore petty fighting. We've had enough of that!"

They were quiet for a moment. Chris sighed. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"I'm sorry too, Chris."

Michael rolled his eyes. "That was pathetic! Act like you really mean it!"

Chris smiled. "Sam, I shouldn't have said those things to you. I shouldn't have told you to go back to St. Mungo's. That was a low blow and I'm sorry. I knew you hated it there and I shouldn't have brought it up."

Sam sighed. "I can forgive you for that." She mumbled. "Chris, I'm sorry that I hurt Michael. That was never my intention. I really do care about him. He really does mean a lot to me."

"Now, I want you to hug."

They rolled their eyes but hugged quickly when they saw the look on his face. They started laughing at their stupidity. "I hope you are happy with Sirius. If he hurts you again, Michael and I will kick his ass."

Sam laughed as Michael nodded eagerly. "Thank you. I appreciate that. He isn't going to hurt me again. I won't let him."

Michael smiled. "I'm feeling left out." They jumped on to the bed and hugged him. He rolled his eyes and laughed. He pushed Chris off of him, lightly, and placed an arm around Sam's shoulders. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. Chris stared at them closely. They looked so comfortable with one another. They looked perfect together. He wished, for Michael's sake, that Sirius would screw up again so Sam would give Michael a real chance but he didn't want Sam to get hurt again. "You two are the biggest gist!"

They laughed. "That's why you love us!" Sam laughed.

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You're such an ass!" She smiled and nodded. He kissed her temple and she blushed. "What do you guys want to do?"

Chris smiled at the sight of them. "We can't play wizard's chess. Sam is horrible at it!" She shrugged and nodded. "How about we play Exploding Snaps?" They nodded.

They each took turns playing. They just had fun being together as they laughed and joked around. Things felt as they should be. For the first time since the attack, they felt true joy. Sam looked at her watch and sighed. "I hate to leave but I should go. I promised my mum that I would help her clean the house. She wants everything to be perfect for Friday night." She rolled her eyes. "It's only New Years Eve! The only person that's coming over is Lily!"

Michael smiled. "Have a happy new year." They hugged and she kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later."

She nodded and hugged Chris. "I wish you two a very happy new year." She kissed Chris' cheek. "Take care of him." He nodded. "I'll see you two later!"

Chris sighed after she left. Michael stared at him curiously. "What's on your mind, mate?" Michael asked.

He looked at him and shrugged. "She should be with you. You two are perfect for each other. Sirius…he is just lucky that he got her back!"

Michael shrugged. "Sam loves him. I can't change that. I'm ok with just being her friend. I have to move on."

"I just wish that she would have realized sooner that you loved her. Maybe something could have happened between you two."

"You can't change the past no matter how hard you wish too."

"I want you to be happy, mate. You deserve it after everything."

"I appreciate that. I will be happy one day. You don't have to worry."

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* * *

Sam dusted herself off after she stepped out of the fireplace. She was smiling brightly. She was happy that she made up with Chris and that Michael still want to be friends with her after everything. Her smile faded when she heard yelling coming from the kitchen. "I won't let you take her away from me again! I won't let you!" Sirius yelled.

She cautiously walked over to the kitchen door and listened closely. Some of their words she couldn't make out because they were all yelling at once. Her heart stopped when she heard her mother groan. "Our minds are made up! There is nothing you can do! Samantha is going back to St. Mungo's and that's final!"

"NO!" They turned and saw Sam standing there. "No! You can't mean this!"

Sirius walked over to her. "Sam, you have to be calm when you talk to them. If you're not, they will definitely send you away." He whispered.

She nodded. "Why do you want to send me away again?" She asked slowly.

Mrs. Potter sighed. "The night of the attack, Madam Pomfrey asked to speak with us privately." Sam nodded. "She warned us that people with your ability-"

"Dream seers." Sam interrupted.

She nodded. "Yes, that's right. She said that dream seers, like you, tend to behave irrationally after traumatic events. She said that we would have to watch you closely and if you do act irrational, the only way to stop it and help you would be to send you to St. Mungo's. They have professionals that can help you get better."

Sam looked down at the ground. "Have I been acting irrationally?"

Mrs. Potter nodded. "I think you have been. Sammy, you've been all over the place lately. You wanted to get back together with Remus but, from what Chris said, you spent most of your time with Michael."

"That happened before the attack. I spent equal amounts of time with everyone. It wasn't like I was following Michael around."

"You haven't spoken of the attack. You walk around like everything is fine and that nothing has happened."

She sighed. "I didn't want you to worry about me anymore than you already do. I have talked about the attack. I've talked to Michael and Sirius about it. Michael and I talk about the nightmares we have. We try to find the reason why it happened. We try to make sense of it but no matter what reason we come up with, it doesn't make sense."

"Your engagement to Sirius-"

Sam's head snapped up. "What about it?"

Mrs. Potter sighed. "It's sudden. You two got back together and broke up within a few hours. The next thing you know, he's asking our permission to marry you."

"We made up. I was just scared about being hurt again. That's normal. Sirius and I worked out some of our problems. We still have time to work everything else out."

"You don't have time, Samantha!" Sam's eyes widened in fear. Sirius looked confused as hell. Mrs. Potter shook her head. "You still haven't said anything, have you? I told you to do that! Why haven't you?"

She bit her lip. "It's not the right time yet. I said I would and I will. I'll do it when the time is right."

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked.

Mr. Potter stopped his wife from answering. "Evelyn, don't you dare say a word!" She nodded curtly. He looked at his daughter closely. "Sammy, we are just worried about you. We want you to be ok."

"Daddy, I'm fine!" He sighed. She looked at him pleadingly. "Please, don't do this! I swear that I'm ok. Don't send me away again. Whatever it is I did, I'm sorry! I promise to be good! Please, don't do this, Daddy!"

He had a pained expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Sammy. It's the only way."

She started to cry and Sirius glared at them when he held her. "I won't let you take her away again! She is fine! You don't have to do this!"

Mrs. Potter groaned. "Sirius, we've been through this! It's the only way for her to get better! She is a dream seer and they are sensitive to irrational behavior and have a tendency to become insane. If we don't do something about this now then who knows what will happen!"

Sam pulled away from Sirius. "Are you punishing me because of your mother?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Of course not! Why would you even say that?"

"You thought she was crazy for no reason. You only found out the truth because you were pregnant with me. When you found out about what she was and what I would become, did you feel trapped? Did you start to hate me because you realized what a burden I would be to you and Daddy?"

Mrs. Potter looked at her daughter in disbelief. "How can you think that? I love you, Sammy. I love you no matter what! I was upset that you would have to go through what she did but I never felt trapped and I never hated you. You aren't a burden to me or your father. I just want you to be ok. I want you to think rationally! You can't do that right now. This year has been one bad experience after another for you. This isn't a punishment."

She shook with anger. "If you weren't selfish and just told us sooner about what I was then I wouldn't be crazy!" Mrs. Potter looked like she had been punched in the stomach. "You could have prevented all of this if you would have just said something! I hate you! Your crazy mother did this to me and you're taking your anger towards her out on me! If you send me away, I'll never forgive you!"

"Samantha, don't you dare talk to your mother with such disrespect again!" Mr. Potter said.

"Sam, you need to calm down." Sirius muttered.

Sam shook her head. "I don't want to go back there! Once was enough for me! I'm fine now! I'll get over the attack in my own way!" She looked at her parents. "I beg you, don't do this! Please, don't take me away from Sirius!"

Mrs. Potter looked away from her. "You'll be leaving in a few days."

Sirius couldn't breathe. "Y-You can't mean that! She only said that out of anger! Sam, tell them that you didn't mean what you said."

She nodded eagerly. "Mama, I'm sorry! Sirius is right! I was just upset. I didn't mean what I said. I could never really hate you, Mummy! Don't send me back there! I hated it there!"

Mr. Potter sighed. "Sammy, it's for the best. You won't be gone forever."

"Daddy, I'm sorry for what I said. I don't think I could take another two weeks there."

"It would be longer this time." Mrs. Potter said in a small voice. "It would be for a month or maybe even longer."

Sirius shook his head aggressively. "No way! Sam isn't going back there! You can't take her away from me again! You can't take her away for that long! Please, think about this!"

Mr. Potter stared at them. "Evelyn, we can wait and see. Maybe we don't have to do this just yet. Let's think about it a bit more."

They looked at her eagerly but she shook her head. "Harold, we've discussed this. You just agreed. This is for the best." She looked at her daughter. "Samantha, you'll be leaving for St. Mungo's in two days. Please, be ready."

Her face fell. "No! I won't go! You can't make me!"

"Yes, we can!" She yelled. "You are sixteen and we can make you go if we have to! You're going and that's final!"

Sam started to cry again. "I hate you. This isn't fair! I hate you!"

Sirius glared at them after Sam ran out of the room. "She will never forgive for this! I will never forgive you! Why are you doing this? There has to be another way!"

"Our minds are made up. She is going and that's that!" Mr. Potter grumbled. He felt horrible. He didn't want to send her away but he didn't want her to get worse. "It's for the best. You will see that one day."

He growled. "No, I won't. The only thing I see is that you don't want us to be happy. You are getting back at me for hurting her." They shook their heads. "I'm sorry for that. Don't punish her for my mistakes! I can take care of her. I love her. She will be fine if you just let me help her."

Mrs. Potter wiped her eyes. "We aren't punishing either of you. This was a hard decision for us. This is the only way to ensure that she will be fine."

Sirius shook his head. "I hate you." He went after Sam.

Mr. Potter groaned as he looked at his wife. "I hope we made the right decision. If we didn't then we just lost her for no reason."

"She will understand one day. They will understand."

"They better. I don't want to put them through all of this for nothing."

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* * *

Sirius entered their room and shut the door behind him. Sam was sitting on the side of the bed with her head in her hands while her elbows rested on her knees. Her body shook while she cried. He kneeled in front of her and pulled her hands away from her face and wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry, Sirius." Sam whispered.

He held her face in his hands and watched her closely as she looked at the ground. "Why are you apologizing?"

Sam looked at him through her red puffy eyes and a fresh stream of tears fell down. "If I didn't say those things to her…If I didn't lose my temper…"

He kissed her forehead. "They would have sent you away regardless. They made up their minds and they didn't want to listen. It doesn't matter."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you. We just got back together. I don't want to leave you."

Sirius sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her onto his lap. They held each other tightly. "I don't want you to go either. I don't want to lose you again."

She stared at him closely before kissing him. "You could never lose me, Madman. I love you forever. I will always love you."

He kissed as he pulled down her ponytail. "You mean so much to me, Sammy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sam moved off of his lap and lay down on the bed. He was next to her in seconds. She rested her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed. "This is nice. This is how it should be." He kissed the top of her head. "I love waking up with you. I love being held by you. Sirius, you mean so much to me. You're my everything."

Sirius tightened his hold on her. "You have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that." She looked up at him and her eyes watered. "Please, don't cry, Sammy. We'll think of something."

She shook her head. "There's nothing we can do." She sat up and rested on her elbows. "It won't be so bad, right? It's only for a month. We didn't really speak for a month. We could handle being apart for the long."

His eyes widened. "Don't give up yet, Sammy!" He sighed. "They said it may be for a month or longer. What if it's for longer? Do you really want to take that chance?" She shook her head as her chin started to tremble. He looked at her closely. "We could run away."

"What are you talking about?"

He smiled. "We could leave. We could just pick up and leave. We could go to London and live as muggles if we have to. I could be a…uh…what did Lily call them? Oh yes! I could be a factory worker and you could be a waitress."

She giggled. "We could get a flat and I could make you dinner the muggle way every night when we come home."

Sirius laughed and nodded. "We could do it and this way we will always be together. We won't have to worry about you being sent away." He sat up and brought her with him. "What do you say? We could really do this, Sam! We could leave tonight after everyone goes to bed."

Sam eyed him closely. "Are you being serious?"

"I'm always Sirius." She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I am."

"What about school?"

"Who cares about school? We don't need Hogwarts. All we need is each other."

She smiled sadly. "What about our friends?" He shrugged. "What about James?" He sighed. "We can't just leave him. He would never understand and he would never forgive us."

He shook his head. "I don't want to leave him behind either. He would understand if he knew why we were doing this. James doesn't want you sent away again either. He would understand."

Sam stared at him. "What if they find us? You could get into serious trouble for this. I'm only sixteen. You could go to Azkaban."

"I'd gladly go to Azkaban for that. I'd go if it meant that you wouldn't have to be sent away again."

She kissed him. "I love that you want to protect me but we can't run away. I don't want you to get into trouble for me."

Sirius ran his hands through her hair. "We have to think of something."

"Can we just lie here together? Can we just be together and not think of this for a bit? I just want you to hold me and enjoy being with you. We can think of something later." He begrudgingly nodded. They held each other tightly and stayed that way for awhile in silence. They soon fell asleep in each other's arms and secretly hoped that an answer to their problems would come to them in their dreams.

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James and Lily entered the kitchen holding hands. They were smiling widely at his parents. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had grave looks on their faces but plastered on fake smiles when they walked through the door. "How's it going?" James asked as he wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders. She was blushing as she snuggled closer to him. He noticed the fake smiles and he sighed. "What's wrong?"

Mr. Potter sighed. "I think you better sit down for this." They sat down and stared at them expectantly. The sun was setting and the room was filled with a bright red color. "Your mother and I have been talking and, with the advice of Madam Pomfrey, have decided to send Samantha back to St. Mungo's for a month…or maybe even longer."

Their faces fell and Mrs. Potter held her husband's hand tightly for support. "We have told Sam and Sirius. We thought it best to tell you as well."

James shook his head in disbelief. "You can't mean that."

Lily looked at them in horror. "Why are you doing this?"

She sighed. "Madam Pomfrey explained to us that after such a traumatic experience, Samantha would display some irrational behavior and the best way to help her would be to send her away."

"Sam is fine!" Lily yelled.

"You haven't been here the whole time." Mr. Potter muttered.

"What irrational behavior? Are you talking about Sam and Sirius getting back together and then breaking up? Are you talking about their engagement?" James asked quickly. They nodded. "Sam was just scared about being hurt again. You can understand that, can't you?"

"Of course we can, James. We love that they are back together and want to get married but it happened out of nowhere!" Mrs. Potter said. "She hasn't spoken of the attack. She pretends that nothing has happened."

"Sam didn't want to worry you. She was trying to protect you from being upset." Lily said.

James stared at them. "Sirius told me about her nightmares. He's been with her every night since we've been home so that after every one she would know she was safe. She hasn't been pretending that nothing has happened. She has just been dealing with it in her own way. She will be fine! Sam has Sirius, Remus, Lily, and me to protect her. We can help her!"

"Like you helped her after Sirius broke up with her?" Mr. Potter asked in a gruff voice.

They looked down in shame. "Sam was very upset and pushed us all away. She promised us not to do that again." Lily muttered.

"You weren't there when we had to deal with her! She was a bitch to everyone! She called Lily a mudblood!" They gasped. "We just got her back! Don't take her away again!" James yelled.

Mrs. Potter groaned. "James, calm down! We are only doing what's best for her!"

"That's the biggest pile of crap I've ever heard! This isn't what's best for her! Staying with us is what will help her!" He growled.

Lily put a comforting hand on James' shoulder. "How did they react when you told them?"

They shared a sigh and told them. James let out an ugly laugh. "It serves you right!"

"How can you say that?" Mrs. Potter gasped.

"It's easy for him to say that because it's true. You are doing a very stupid thing." Lily sighed. "You don't have to do this. There has to be another way."

Mr. Potter shook his head. "There is no other way. Do you honestly believe that we want to do this?"

"Then why are you?" They yelled.

"It's the only way! She is leaving in two days! That's final and the end of this discussion!" Mrs. Potter yelled.

They stood up and walked to the door. "We will be going to check on them now. Come on, Lily. We better go before they decide to send us away as well."

Mrs. Potter stood up. She hadn't planned on getting so upset. She had just got back in her son's good graces and now, all of her children hated her. "James-"

He looked at his mother in disgust. "Don't say a word. The two of you deserved them saying they hated you. I hate you. If you do this then we will never forgive you. You promised me that you wouldn't take her away from me…from us again. You lied!"

"We are doing this for her, James." Mr. Potter said. "If we don't then she will only get worse."

Lily glared at them. "That's not true! She has us to help her! She has been taking her potions and clearing her mind like she's supposed to! We've watched her do it because we want to make sure she is ok! You don't have to do this!"

James held her hand. "Lily, this is pointless. They don't care about what we have to say. Sam and Sirius probably said the same exact things and it didn't help. Let's go check on them."

They left and Mrs. Potter fell into the chair behind her. Mr. Potter sighed. "Are we doing the right thing?"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I hope so."

"If we aren't then we just lost all of them for nothing."

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James and Lily opened the door and shut it carefully. They sighed as they looked around the room. They saw that Sirius had moved his belongings into her room. His stuff was mixed in with hers and it looked like it was always like this. They turned their gaze to the bed and smiled sadly at the sight. Sam and Sirius were sound asleep and cradling each other in their arms. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that they were holding each other like they never wanted to let go. It seemed to them that if they didn't hold each other then they would never be together again. Lily's eyes watered. "Oh James, just look at them."

James shook his head. "This can't be happening." He muttered.

"Should we wake them up?" He nodded. They walked over to them and noticed Sam's tear stained face. They shook them until their eyes fluttered open. They stared at them and smiled. "We heard about what happened."

They sat up and rubbed the sleep out of their eyes. Sirius wrapped his arms around Sam and she snuggled closer to him. James and Lily sat at the end of the bed and stared at them. "They told you?" Sirius asked in a husky voice.

They nodded. "We just found out. We tried to convince them to change their minds but it didn't work." James said. He looked at his sister and felt a pain in his chest. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

Sam shrugged. "It's ok, James. I lost my temper. If I would have only stayed calm-"

"Sam, I told you that it wasn't your fault. They made up their minds and didn't want to listen." Sirius said before he kissed her temple.

"What are you going to do?" He asked in a quiet voice.

Sam laughed. "Sirius had a wonderful idea."

Lily looked up with interest. "What was it?"

Sirius blushed and Sam patted his hand. "He said we should run away to London and live as muggles." They smiled. "I almost agreed but if we got caught, he would get into trouble. That's the last thing I want. Plus, you and James would never forgive us if we left like that."

"I think you should do it." James said.

Lily gasped. "James, don't be ridiculous! Sirius could get into a lot of trouble if they did that!"

"I don't care about that, Lily. It would be worth it if Sam didn't have to go away!"

She stared at him in surprise. "Sirius, you can't mean that!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Lily, we aren't running away. You don't have to worry about that."

Lily nodded. James sighed. "We have to think of something."

"You're telling me, mate." Sirius muttered.

She smiled at him and held him tighter. He looked at her with such longing that her breath caught in her throat. He kissed her and sighed. "I tried to tell him that it would only be for a month. If we could survive that then we could survive anything."

He shook his head. "It may be for longer, Sam. We talked about this. I don't want you to go. You don't want to go. We can survive this but why risk it? I'm not going to let you go."

"Why don't you get married?" James said suddenly.

The girls stared at him in disbelief while Sirius laughed. "That's a brilliant idea, Prongs!" He looked at Sam expectantly. "What do you say?"

Lily rolled her eyes at them. "You are crazy!"

Sam nodded in agreement. "Lily's right! Sirius, I want us to get married because we love each other not to avoid me being sent away!"

Sirius smiled at her. "Sam, this is perfect! We will be getting married because we love each other and to stop you from being sent away! It's the best solution! I'm surprised that I hadn't thought of it first!"

Lily stared at him in disbelief. The way Sirius was acting, with such love and concern, surprised the hell out of her. This was definitely a far cry from the man he was when he first went out with her. He really did love her and was really ready to be with only her. "It might work."

Sam gasped. "Lily, you can't be serious!" She shrugged in response. "You're all mad!"

She smiled. "Come on, Sam! Think about it rationally!"

She shook her head in disbelief. They were staring at her with wide smiles. "I'm, obviously, the only one that is thinking rationally. I can't believe that you are suggesting this! You have all lost your minds and I'm being sent away?"

James laughed. "We aren't crazy, Sammy! We just don't want you sent away! You and Sirius were planning on getting married anyway."

"We are waiting until after I finish school."

Lily held her hand. "I know it seems crazy but this is the best possible solution! You two are in love and we need a solution! This is it!"

"How can you be so sure? Why would getting married change anything?"

Sirius smiled at her. "If we get married then they can't send you away." Her eyes widened in delight. "If we were married, the only people that could do that would be me and you. I would never do that to you."

"Do you promise that I won't be sent away if we get married?" She asked.

He kissed her. "I promise, Sammy. I told you that I would do anything in my power to make sure you aren't sent away again. I love you and want to protect you." He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "I'd die for you, Samantha. I'd die a thousand times just to make sure you had one more day." She smiled at him. It surprised her when he first said those words to her but now that he said it again, she knew that he really meant it. He held her face in his hands and kissed her again. "What do you say? Will you marry me?"

She bit her lip and looked at each of them closely. She shook her head and laughed. "I'm just as crazy as you lot! I'll marry you!"

Sirius pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. James and Lily held each other. "This is excellent! When are you going to do this?" James asked.

Sam sighed. "We can't get married."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You just agreed to it! Don't change your mind now!"

He stared at her closely. "Sammy, do you love me?"

She smiled. "More than anything!"

He smiled. "Do you want to marry me?" She nodded eagerly. "Then I don't understand. Why are you saying that we can't get married?"

Sam smiled sadly and shrugged. "We just forgot one important detail."

"What's that?" They asked in unison.

"I'm only sixteen. I would need parental consent. Mum and Dad will never let that happen. As much as I would love to marry Sirius and not be sent away…there's nothing we can do. I'm leaving in two days and I have no choice but to go."

They shared a sigh in defeat. "This can't be it! There has to be a way to stop this!"

"Andromeda!"

They looked up and stared at James. "What about my cousin?" Sirius asked.

James had a gleam in his eyes. "Andromeda can help us! Doesn't she work for the ministry?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, she does. She just started back. The baby…Nymphie just turned three so she decided that it was time to go back to work. Why?"

He let out a giddy laugh. "If we could convince her to help us then maybe the two of you could get married!"

They gave him a confused look. "You might want to elaborate, Prongs. We seem to be missing the point." Sirius said while the girls nodded eagerly.

James rolled his eyes at them. "How thick can you get?" They glared at him. "Ok, I'll get to the point! She works for the ministry and is familiar with all the laws, right?" Sirius nodded. "There has to be a loop hole! In the laws regarding marriage, there has to be a loop hole so that you two can get married and Sam won't be sent away!"

Sirius' eyes widened and he let out a barking laugh. "Prongs, I could kiss you!"

He looked disgusted. "Please, control yourself. Wasn't it enough that you pinched Moony's bum?" Sirius gave him the finger and rolled his eyes. "Do you think she'd help us out?"

He shrugged. "I don't know really. She might help us. If she knows that we are completely serious and sure about this then I don't see why she wouldn't."

Lily let out an excited laugh. "This is wonderful! When can we see her? Can we go now? We only have two days before Sam has to leave."

Sirius looked at the clock on the bedside table. "It's five o'clock. I think it will be alright if we go now. Let's hope that she is in a generous mood."

They stood up and walked to the door. Sam stopped walking and Sirius turned to look at her. She bit her lip. "Sirius?"

He held her hand and smiled at her. "What is it, Sammy?"

She looked completely terrified. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you to think that you have to do this if you aren't ready. I don't want to pressure you."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "I'm sure I want to do this. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. You aren't pressuring me into anything. It feels like…" His eyes widened. "Do you feel that we're pressuring you into this? Do you not want to marry me?"

Sam sighed. "Of course I want to marry you. I love you so much."

"Then what's the problem?"

She gave him a pathetic look. "It's just that if we do this then it will be forever. There will be no getting out of it after this. What if, Merlin forbid, we decide that it's a mistake? What if we can't make it work?"

Sirius sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "Aren't I the one that should be saying all of this?" She gave him a look. "Sam, this isn't a mistake. We know we are supposed to be together. Think about these dreams you've had!" She paled. "The one before James left for Hogwarts for the first time and the one where you realize I was the only one for you." She smiled. "We promised to fight to be together. We promised to do everything in our power to make sure that we never give up on each other again. We can make this work and it will never be a mistake. We can do this, Sammy! As long as we are together everything will be alright."

Sam smiled and kissed him. "You sound so sure about all of this."

He laughed. "I am sure! My life is with you and always will be!" He stared at her closely. "There's something else bothering you. What is it?"

She blushed. "It's stupid really."

Lily smiled. "What is it, Sam?"

"I just always pictured my father giving me away on my wedding day."

They smiled at her. Her blush grew. James hugged her tightly. "Sammy, that's not stupid." She shrugged. "I'll give you away."

She looked up in surprise. "You would really do that, Jimmybean?"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course I will. I love you, Sammy. I don't want you to be sent away from me or us again. I want you to be happy. I will give you away."

She bit her lip. "Daddy is going to be so upset that he wasn't the one to give me away. He will never forgive us."

They sighed. "Sam, they are sending you away against your will. He will understand." Lily said.

"I don't want him to hate us for this."

Sirius kissed her temple. "How about this? I promise that after you finish school, we get married, like we planned, again. This way your father can give you away and your mother can throw us the wedding that you know she has been planning since we met."

Her eyes grew. "You would really do that for me, Sirius?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, I would. I would do anything to make you happy."

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Thank you, Sirius! Thank you! You have no idea what that means to me!" He smiled. "Ok, we can go talk to Andromeda now."

They walked downstairs and stopped when they saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting in the living room. They looked up and smiled awkwardly. Sirius and James clutched Sam and Lily's hands tightly. "Are you going somewhere?" Mrs. Potter asked. They nodded. She sighed. "Where are you going?"

They sneered at them. "We're going to visit my cousin Andromeda. She invited me to come by and see Nymphadora. We thought we should all go to tell her about our engagement." Sirius said in a cold voice.

"Will you be long? Should we hold dinner until you return?" Mr. Potter asked.

James rolled his eyes. "We will be a while. Don't do us any favors by holding dinner."

Lily put a hand on his arm. "James, we have to go."

Mr. Potter eyed them closely. "Why are you such in a rush?"

Sirius sighed. "We promised her that we would be there by now. We just don't want to keep her waiting."

He nodded slowly before looking at Sam. It broke his heart when she refused to look at him. "Have fun, kids. Try not to be too long." They left and he sighed. "I don't know why but I have a feeling that they are up to something."

Mrs. Potter sighed. "They are usually up to something. Hopefully, Lily can talk some sense into them."

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They entered the living room and looked around while they brushed off the soot. The house was small but felt very lived in. Sirius smiled. It was obvious that a real family lived there. This was a far cry from where he grew up. He took a deep breath and hoped she was in a helping mood. He knew that she would try but he didn't know if she would give them a hard time. "Andy! Andy, are you here?" Sirius yelled.

Sam clutched his hand as they heard footsteps run down the stairs. A beautiful raven haired woman entered the room. Her gray eyes widened when she saw them in her living room. She ran over to Sirius and hugged him tightly. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" Sirius laughed as he held her to him. "I haven't heard from you in weeks!"

Sirius pulled away and smiled. "I'm sorry about that. Some things…important things have come up."

Andromeda noticed how Sirius wrapped a protective arm around a terrified looking Sam and her eyes grew. "Sammy, is that you?" Sam smiled and nodded. She hugged the younger girl. "I haven't seen you since the summer before your first year at Hogwarts!" Sam blushed. "No wonder Sirius is so crazy about you! You've become such a beautiful woman!" Her blush grew. "Sirius has always written to me about you! For the past six years all I've heard about was you!"

He blushed when the others stared at him with wide smiles. "Andy, you're embarrassing me." He muttered.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Sirius! I'm entitled to make you squirm!" She saw James and Lily and hugged them. "James, it's so good to see you!"

James blushed. "Hi Andromeda."

Sirius laughed. "I see you got over your crush on my cousin, Prongs!"

Andromeda slapped his arm. "Leave him alone, Sirius!" She smiled at Lily. "You must be the famous Lily Evans!" Lily smiled and blushed. "James would spend hours upon hours telling me about you. I'm so glad that the two of you finally got together."

"Andy, please, stop gushing!" Sirius groaned.

She gave him a look. "Fine, you big baby! Sit down!" They sat down and she was surprised to see how Sirius refused to let go of Sam. "What's this? The last time I heard from you, you said that you were a git and hurt this poor girl."

Sam was surprised by this. "He wrote that?" She nodded. "When did he do that?"

She smiled as Sirius squirmed in his seat. "The day after he broke up with you."

She looked at Sirius. "Did you really do that?"

He blushed. "Yes, I did. I told you that I regretted what I did. Andy sent me a howler for it." Sam beamed at her.

Andromeda laughed. "I sure did! When he wrote what he did and said…I though he had more sense than that! I was so angry with him. He used to write me long letters to me and every other thing he wrote, he would mention you. I once got a ten page letter from him and most of it was him complaining about some blonde guy you were dating."

Sam laughed. "I only dated Michael for a week!"

She looked at her in confusion. "I thought his name was Patrick?"

Her eyes widened in amusement. Sirius was blushing furiously. "Andy, can you please stop?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'll stop. I never realized how easily embarrassed you get." He glared at her. She laughed. "So, as happy as I am about this unexpected visit, why are you all here?" They squirmed and she sighed. Sirius held Sam tighter and the poor girl looked terrified again. "Somebody better tell me what's going on right now." They didn't answer. "Sirius, what's going on?"

Sirius sighed before looking at her. "We need your help."

"I figured that out all by myself already. What do you need help with?"

James gave her a sheepish smile. "They need to get married right away and we thought you could help."

Her eyes widened in surprise before narrowing into thin slits. "Sirius Phineas Black, what did you do?"

He gulped and began to sweat. "I-I didn't do anything, Andy! I swear I didn't do anything! We love each other and are already engaged!" He grabbed Sam's hand and thrusted it in his cousin's face. "We just need to get married in two days."

Andromeda shook her head. "What aren't you telling me?"

Sirius looked at Sam. "Is it ok to tell her? We can trust her not to tell anyone." She sighed and nodded. "Sam is a dream seer." She gasped and stared at Sam in surprise. "She was sent away to St. Mungo's about two months ago after she had one of her visions. She is fine now but her parents want to send her away again."

"Why do they want to do that?"

He told her about the attack and the conversation they had with her parents. "So, you see, this is the only way to prevent her from being sent away again. I told her we could run away to London but she refused because she doesn't want me to get in trouble if we get caught." She nodded. "Andy, we need your help."

She sighed. "I don't see any reason why you can't do this. Why do you need my help?"

Sam smiled. "I'm only sixteen. We can't get married without parental consent and my parents would never agree to it."

Andromeda shook her head. "That does cause a problem. How do you think I can help?"

Lily stared at her. "James came up with this idea." He blushed. "He mentioned that you work for the ministry and know all of the marriage laws. He thought that there might be a loop hole to help them out."

She sighed. "If Sam was pregnant that might help your case."

They stared at Sam with hope in their eyes and she rolled her eyes. "I'm not pregnant! I wish everyone would stop thinking I was!"

"I could get her pregnant!" Sirius said quickly.

They glared at him before they slapped him on the head. He groaned in response. "You will NOT be getting my baby sister pregnant before she finishes school. Do you understand me, Padfoot?"

He nodded. "I promise I won't. It was just an idea."

"It was a very bad idea!" Lily growled.

"Lily is right!" Andromeda said. "I don't know if I can help you."

Sirius looked at her with desperate eyes. "Andy, you have to help us. I can't lose Sammy again. They said they would take her away for a long time."

Sam touched his arm and Andromeda was surprised when Sirius visibly relaxed. "They said it would only be for a month."

Lily sighed. "They said it may be for a month or longer. Sam, you agreed to this idea. Don't back out now."

"Can you give Sam and I a moment to talk?" Andromeda said as she stared at Sam. "Why don't you go check on Nymphadora? She misses her favorite cousin." They nodded and went upstairs. She looked at the younger girl. "Sam, are you ok?"

She nodded. "Of course I am." She sighed when Andromeda kept staring at her. "It's just all happening so fast. One minute, we couldn't be around each other and now, we are engaged and trying to find a way to deceive my parents and get married. It's a bit overwhelming."

"Sammy, do you love Sirius?"

"With all my heart. I've loved him since the day I met him."

She smiled. "Do you want to marry him?" She nodded. "Then why do I get the feeling that you don't want to?"

Sam sighed. "I want to marry Sirius. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I just don't want to hurt my parents. Yes, they are sending me away against my will but they are still my parents and I love them. They have waited for my wedding day for so long. My mum has it all planned out and has since I met Sirius. My dad…he would be crushed if he didn't give me away. I'm his only daughter and it would have meant so much to him to do that."

Andromeda nodded. "I can understand that. When I married Ted, most of my family disowned me. We had to run away to get married." She sighed. "I realized that being with Ted meant more to me than what my family thought. The question you have to ask yourself is, is Sirius really worth it? Can you handle the possibility of your parents being so upset that they don't talk to you if you do marry Sirius? Can you handle that? Is Sirius worth the risk?"

She barely took a second to answer. "He is worth it. As much as I love my parents…Sirius means everything to me. If they can't accept it then that's just something they will have to deal with. Andromeda, I want you to know that I love him so much. Despite all our problems and what he did before, he is the one I want to spend my life with. We really need your help."

She smiled. "He loves you too. Sirius isn't always the best judge of character but I trust that he made the right choice with you." Sam smiled. "I will try my best to help you."

Sam hugged her. "Thank you, Andromeda."

"You are still having doubts."

"I'm scared that he thinks I'm pressuring him into this. I know it was James' idea and Sirius agreed but he does have tendency to act without thinking. What if he decides that it was all a mistake? What if he realizes that he doesn't love me again?"

Andromeda smiled. "Sammy, you have nothing to worry about. I know my cousin acted like the biggest ass in history when you two first got together but whenever he wrote to me…he loves you. He was a complete wreck after the two of you broke up. Sirius missed you so much. He won't regret this. He will never regret it. He does act a bit rash but he wants to be with you."

They heard the group walk down the stairs and Sam smiled when she saw Sirius holding a small dark haired girl in his arms. "Andy, she had a little accident."

She glared at Sirius. "What did you do?"

Sirius' eyes widened. "I didn't do anything! Why do you always think I do something wrong?"

"Because you usually do something wrong." Nymphadora snuggled closer to Sirius. "Mummy, Sirius didn't do anything. I felled down and hurt my knee. I was showing him a fairy picture and tripped on the floor."

Andromeda laughed. "My poor little Nymphie has her father's balance." She smiled at her daughter. "Do you want me to kiss the booboo and make it better?"

She shook her head as Sirius held her as he sat down next to Sam. "Sirius did. I feel all better!"

Sam caressed her cheek and smiled at the little girl. "Are you sure you're ok, sweetie?"

Nymphadora nodded. "Yes. He made the booboo go away."

Sirius smiled at her and tickled her. She giggled and squirmed in his arms. "Nymphie is a tough cookie! She is my cousin after all!"

Sam smiled at the sight of them. Sirius seemed so at ease with the child. Seeing him with her...it was picture perfect. She noticed Andromeda staring at her with a knowing smile. She leaned over and whispered. "No more doubts."


	50. Chapter 49: Sneak and Deceive

Author's Note: Hey! How's it going? I hope you enjoy this chapter. I like this chapter. I love the third scene. If you choose to review to this chapter, could you please include how you liked or disliked the third scene. It's my favorite part of the chapter and I just want to know how you guys liked it. Ok, on with the chapter! Enjoy!

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Chapter 49: Sneak And Deceive.

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Sam and Sirius watched James and Lily go upstairs to bed. They stayed standing in the living room and hugged each other. He caressed her cheek before leaning in for a kiss. "Andy, will find a way, Sam. I know she will."

She smiled and nodded. "I know she will. She seemed so determined to help us."

He kissed her forehead. "She understands that this is what we want. She knows that we don't want to be apart and that we don't want you sent away again." He sighed. "This is going to work, Sam. We can make it work."

"Baby, you don't have to try and convince me. I already agreed. Andromeda made me realize that despite my guilt over deceiving my parents that this is the only way. They will just have to deal with it."

Sirius smiled. "I just don't want you to have anymore doubts about this. I don't want you to agree because it was my idea."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "It was James' idea for us to get married!" He shrugged. "You, James, and Lily…the three of you convinced me, ok? I love you and I know you love me. There is no doubt in my mind about that now. It just seems kind of crazy that we are actually doing this."

He held her closely. "It is crazy and very sudden but it's the only way. Sam, I can't bare the thought of losing you again."

Sam sighed. "I know. Now, you won't. Look, Andromeda said she would try her best to help us and I believe that she will. We will go there tomorrow as planned and see what she found out." He nodded. "Let's go to bed and think about something else."

Sirius smirked. "I'd love to go to bed with you."

She blushed. "You better behave yourself, Black. I'm not that type of girl."

He laughed. "No, you definitely are not." She smiled. "I could get Lily to use my room tonight." She gave him a look. "I didn't mean it like that! I'm just worried that if we aren't together tonight and you have another nightmare that it will be worse for you this time. I hate that you have them and I hate the reason why they started. I just want to protect you."

Sam touched his cheek. "I know you want to protect me and I really do appreciate it but we have been together every night. We can stand to be apart one night."

"I know that. I'm just worried about you." He kissed her. "I love you and only you, Samantha."

"I love you too, Sirius."

Mr. Potter stepped out of the hallway, where he was hiding since the kids got home, when Sam and Sirius went upstairs. He knew when they left that they were up to something but he didn't think they would do something like this. He stood in the living room and stared at nothing. He was in complete disbelief. His little girl was so desperate to stay with Sirius, James, and her friends that she was willingly going along with this crazy plan.

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Andromeda rubbed her temples aggressively and groaned. She was having a difficult time finding a loop hole so that Sirius and Sam could get married. She still couldn't believe that her cousin, who was notoriously irresponsible and a big git, loved and cared for someone so much that he wanted to marry them. She knew for a fact that he was loyal and would do anything for the ones he loved but she was still surprised by his request. When she saw how completely sincere he was and how concerned he was for Sam, she knew that she just had to help them. She heard a noise in the living room and she sighed. Andromeda raced into the room. "Did you forget something, Sirius?" The person, who was not Sirius, just stared at her. 

"Hello Andromeda."

She shook herself out of shock and smiled. "Hello Mr. Potter." She continued to stare at him. "Sir, May I ask what you are doing here?" She asked while offering him to sit down.

They sat down and Mr. Potter sighed. "I heard the kids talking. I know what they are planning to do."

"Sir, with all due respect-"

"You don't have to defend them to me, Andy." She nodded. "They mentioned that you were trying to help them."

She sighed. "They are desperate. Mr. Potter, they love each other and they don't want to be separated. I had to help them because they seemed so sincere. I hope you understand that."

He smiled. "I do understand that." He looked at her closely. "Did they tell you about Sam's condition?"

Andromeda nodded. "They did, sir. They also told me that you plan to send her away again."

Mr. Potter shook his head aggressively. "That was my wife's brilliant idea."

"You don't agree with her?"

"No, I don't. I hated the fact that we had to send her away the first time but she needed it then."

She looked at him closely. "Why don't you just tell her no?"

He smiled. "You have obviously forgotten how scary my wife can be." She laughed. "I agreed with her, after several arguments, because I thought that if I said yes and gave her a couple of days to think about it then she would change her mind. I was wrong." He sighed. "Have you had any luck in finding a loop hole?"

Andromeda shook her head. "No, I haven't. If Sam was pregnant then it would be possible." Her eyes widened when she saw the look on his face. "She isn't though!" He visibly relaxed. "S-She told me that she was waiting until she was married." She felt bad for lying but it wasn't her place to tell Sam's father the truth. He smiled. "Sirius did offer to get her pregnant but don't worry, we hit him and he realized his stupidity."

Mr. Potter laughed. "I love Sirius like a son but sometimes…he is a _special_ boy."

"That he is, sir."

"How can I help?"

She looked up in surprise. "Y-You want to help?"

He nodded. "I don't want her sent away again. My wife will not changer her mind. If this is the only way then so be it." He smiled at her shocked face. "How can I help?"

Andromeda smiled. "Just sign a consent form and they can be married at once. I'll take care of the rest."

Mr. Potter nodded again. "Bring me the forms and I will sign." She stood up and left and brought back the form before he could change his mind. He signed it without a second thought. "Andy, you can't tell them about this. I want them to think that they did this all on their own. They can never know about this. Tell them you found a loop hole but don't go into specifics."

"Whatever you want, sir."

"I hope I'm doing the right thing."

"You are, sir. There's no doubt about it."

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The house was dark. It wasn't dark in color but in mood and feeling. The house was small and cozy but the inside didn't match the outside. The outside made it appear that a loving family lived there. A family that was happy to be a family. That was true once, many years ago, but now, it was just a lie. The appearance the house gave was a lie. The picture perfect family was a lie. There used to be love but now, there was only hate and regret. The inside left you cold, especially if you knew what love the house used to contain. For the people who lived there, the same people that used to believe that love could and will conquer all, the house was just a reminder of their failure and lost dreams. The house was a reminder of their disappointment. 

A small black haired boy with sparkling blue eyes sat on the staircase and watched his extremely pregnant mother race around the living room trying to make sure everything was clean before the guests arrived for his father's birthday. The boy smiled when he saw his mother rub her stomach gently and smile when she looked down at him. He ran to her and hugged her tightly with his small arms. He remembered that just a few months ago he could wrap both his arms around her but now that she was eight months pregnant, he was lucky to get them around her stomach. She bent down and kissed his cheek softly. His heart seized up when she did that. He always felt warm and safe when she hugged him and kissed his cheek. She would constantly tell him how much she loved him and how proud he made her. He felt like he could do anything and his mother would still love him. "I can't believe in just one week my little boy will be eleven." He smiled. They would also be having a party for him. His whole family would be there. He loved every single member of his family, except his father. He shook his head to clear his mind away from troubling thoughts. He didn't want to be upset and ruin his father's party. That was something no one wanted to happen. Merlin forbid if someone ruined his father's precious party. "My baby boy is growing up so fast. Soon, you will be starting Hogwarts and…" His mother's eyes welded up with tears and he tightened his hold on her. He hated seeing her cry, especially if it was because of him. He had to hold his mother while she cried a lot. His father made a game out of seeing her cry. "I'm sorry, sweet pea. Mummy's hormones are all out of whack. Don't worry, you will have the real me back after the baby's born, I promise."

"Mama, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Don't worry, sweet pea. You could never make me cry. You are my pride and joy. My brave little boy that is always there for his mum. That's what you are."

The boy beamed at his mother. He didn't care that his cousin called him a mummy's boy. He loved his mother more than life itself and would do anything for her. Plus, his cousin was an even bigger mummy's boy than he was. He couldn't move an inch without checking with his mum first. "I love you, Mama."

She smiled. "I love you too, Baby."

"Aren't you done cleaning yet? They will be here any moment!"

They looked up and sighed simultaneously. "I'm almost done. I was just thanking our son for helping me. Don't you want to thank him and congratulate him on doing such a good job?" She said while giving the man a steely glare.

He rolled his eyes and sneered at his wife. "No, I don't." He looked at his son. "If I wanted a child to help clean the house, we would have had a daughter."

"Leave him alone!"

He got in her face and smiled when she took a quick step back. He used to love it when they fought. It used to lead to great shagging sessions when they were about to rip each other's heads off but now, he loved the fear in her eyes every time he took a threatening step towards her. "You have better not be giving me orders." He slid his hands down her cheek and she shuddered out of revulsion. "You don't want me to show you who is boss again, do you? Not in front of the boy, at least."

The boy glared at his father. "Stupid git." He muttered.

The man glared at him. "What did you say, boy?" His father raised his hand and his mother pushed him behind her. She was always doing that when his father threatened to hit him. She once had to shield his body when his father started to beat him with his belt. He always felt guilty about that because she lost the baby she was carrying to protect him. She wouldn't look at him for weeks after that. He thought she blamed him but one night, she came into his room and told him the truth. She was glad she protected her only child because she couldn't bare the thought of his father hurting him. She did regret losing the baby but decided that it wasn't the right time for him to have a sibling just yet. Her screams that she let out when his father whipped her still haunted his dreams. "Don't make me take off my belt!" His father growled. "Your mother couldn't stand to lose another child because of you!"

"That's enough! Just let me finish cleaning before the guests arrive and everything will be fine. Why don't you go to your study and have a drink? That always helps you, dear."

"Are you giving me orders?"

Her eyes widened in fear when she saw that all too familiar dangerous look in his eye. Nothing good ever came from that look. "O-Of course not, my dear. It was merely a suggestion. You don't want to be so tense when they arrive, do you? You don't want to be upset at your own party, do you?"

He lowered his hand and they visibly relaxed. "No, I don't. I will go to my study." He kissed her cheek slowly and she had to fight a strong urge to throw up at his touch. "Thank you, sweetheart. I love how you always try to look out for me." She let out a nervous smile. He glared at his son. "You better be on your best behavior tonight, boy! If you aren't, your poor mother will pay for it."

The boy nodded quickly and held onto his mother. He didn't want his mother to get hurt because he acted badly. He never wanted that to happen again. "I-I'm sorry, Father. I promise I will be on my best behavior."

He left and the boy cried into his mother's bulging stomach. She eased down onto her knees and held him to her. "No more tears, sweet pea. Mama hates to see her special little boy cry."

"H-He…was g-going to h-hurt you b-b-because of me a-again."

She rubbed his back. "No, he wasn't. Your father doesn't mean it. He is just under a lot of stress because of work. He really does love us. He just has trouble showing it sometimes."

He stared at her in disbelief. "How can you say that after everything he has done to us, Mama?" She sighed and looked away from him. It was obvious to him that even she didn't believe her lies. "I know that Clara is my sister." She looked at him in shock. "Aunt Mary and Uncle Michael both have blonde hair but how does Clara have black hair like Dad?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Explain to me why she looked like me when I was a baby? Why does she have Dad's eyes when Uncle Michael is her father?"

The door bell rang and she did a couple of quick spells to get the house in order. She gave him a pleading look. "Please, behave tonight, sweet pea. Do it for me, ok?" He nodded. "You do know I love you, don't you?"

He smiled sadly. "I know, Mama. I love you too. I just wish that Dad…I just wish that Uncle Re-"

"Why aren't you opening the door?"

They jumped and raced to the door so another fight wouldn't break out. A group of people stared at them with wide smiles and she let them in and took their cloaks. The boy smiled at his cousin and they hugged. "Hey Jimmy!" He said in an excited tone. Jimmy pushed his black hair out of his green eyes and smiled at him. Jimmy was a year younger than him but that didn't stop them from being close like brothers. "Do you want to go to my room and see my new broom?"

Jimmy looked at his mother and she smiled at him. "Can I, Mum?"

"Say hello to your aunt and uncle first."

Jimmy hugged his aunt. "Hey Aunt Sammy! How are you?"

Sam smiled down at her nephew. "I'm doing just fine, Jimmy." She held him tightly. "My, how you've grown? You are going to be as tall as your father soon enough!" He blushed. "Why don't you wish your uncle a happy birthday before you go up to John's room?"

He ran to his uncle and hugged him. "Happy Birthday, Uncle Sirius!"

Sirius smiled at him and Sam felt a pain in her chest. He wished that he would look at John with the same amount of pride that he looked at Jimmy with. "Thank you, Jimmy! How is my favorite nephew doing?"

Sam turned when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She stiffened when she looked at James. Things hadn't been the same between them for a long time. She had a lot of anger towards him. He never believed that Sirius was the monster he truly was. Even after the first beating she took from him, and after the beating where she lost the baby, he still refused to believe that his best mate would ever hurt her or her son. He told her that she was just making it up for attention and that Sirius was a good guy that didn't deserve to be treated with such disrespect from his wife. "Hey Sammy!" He hugged her and she patted his back. He rubbed her stomach. "How is my soon-to-be niece doing?"

She held in a sneer. She forced a smile when she noticed Sirius glaring daggers at her. "She is doing just fine, James. Another month and you will be able to meet her."

James smiled and nodded before walking over to Sirius. Sam held in her tears and hugged Lily. "How's the bastard treating you?"

Sam let out a small laugh. "He is what he is, Lily."

"That doesn't sound that great, Sammy."

She shrugged. "I made my bed and now, I have to lie in it. There's nothing I can do."

Lily sighed and nodded before giving Sirius a curt hello. Sam was about to close the door when a hand peeked through. She opened the door wider and gasped in delight. "Happy to see me, Sammy?"

Sirius eyed them closely as Sam flung her arms around Remus and held him as close as her stomach would allow. His lips curled in disgust when he saw them blush after they _accidentally_ kissed. "Remus, I've missed you so much! How are you?" He smiled at her. Sirius chewed the inside of his cheek when she leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "I haven't heard from you in three weeks. I was worried that something might have had happened."

Remus smiled as he took the sight of her in. "I'm alright. I'm sorry I haven't written but you said that he was becoming suspicious about us. I didn't want you to get hurt again."

Sirius pulled Sam away from Remus and she stumbled, barely missing the wall. The men glared at each other before shaking hands. "Remus, it's good to see you. I know _my wife_ is very happy to have her hero back and to have her arms around you again. She has been depressed since you've stopped writing to her."

He clenched his teeth. "I was just explaining to Sam that I have been terribly busy. She understands and forgives me."

"She is a very forgiving person."

"A little too forgiving if you ask me."

She felt like she couldn't breathe under the obvious tension. "I'm going to go check on dinner. I will be right back." She was about to leave but stopped when Sirius grabbed her arm and kissed her with incredible force. She pulled away and looked at him with shame in her eyes. "Thank you, dear. I better make sure everything is alright for you special day."

It was after dinner and she had finished cleaning up so that she could wander around the halls. She saw Sirius' study door ajar and peeked inside. She hoped John and Jimmy weren't in there again. The last time they were she had gotten an awful beating that sent her to St. Mungo's for two weeks. She smiled when she saw Remus looking at the books that graced the shelves. She opened the door and shut it quietly. "See anything you like, Remus?"

Remus turned around and took the sight of her in. "Something has caught my eye." She blushed. He walked over to her and his lips crashed against hers. "I've missed you so much, Sammy. I've dreamt of you every night."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "These last few weeks without you have been complete torture." She sighed. "Kiss me, Remus. I'm afraid I have forgotten what it is like to feel your lips."

He held her as close as possible and let his tongue explore her mouth. His hands brushed her breast and he became even more excited when she moaned in his mouth. He pulled away and put a comforting hand on her belly. "How are my two favorite girls doing?"

Sam laughed. He smiled at that because it had been such a long time since she had done that. "We are doing fine. She missed her Daddy though."

Remus smiled. "I've missed her too." He sighed. "Does he know I'm the father?"

She was staring at the many pictures that were on Sirius' desk. Looking at them made her feel hurt and angry. They were pictures of Mary and Clara instead of her and John. She shrugged at his question. "I think he suspects but why should I even care?" She growled as she pointed to the pictures. "Why should he even care that this isn't his child? He has a child with someone I used to consider one of my best friends. I don't care if he knows that I have been with you and that I love you. He throws it in my face every chance he gets that he doesn't love me and that he wants to be with Mary and Clara."

Remus held her to him. "What does Michael say about all of this?"

Sam rested her head on his shoulder. "He, obviously, knows that Clara isn't his. He would have had to been blind if he didn't realize it. She is a mirror image of my _loving_ husband!" She took a deep breath before continuing. "He says that he loves Mary with all his heart and refuses to give her a divorce. He says if she asks again, he will tell Clara what her mother did and that Sirius is her real father. Clara loves Michael so much and if she learned the truth, it would break her heart."

He shook his head. "I don't understand this." She gave him a questioning look. "Where did it all go wrong for you two? When did he become such a bastard? Why have you stayed with him so long? Why have you been with me when you are married to my best friend?"

"You know the story, Remus."

"Tell it to me again, Sammy. Make me understand."

Her chin trembled. "It started going wrong when we got married to prevent my parents from sending me away to St. Mungo's." She sighed. "We were fine for a while. When I told him I was pregnant with John, he was so happy, Remus. He would ask how I was and did whatever I asked. He really was a great father. He loved us so much and would move mountains to spend as much time with John as he could spare."

"When did it all go wrong?"

"Sirius started acting weird around the time John turned five. I didn't think much of it because for nine years we were extremely happy and I just blamed it on stress at work. He started drinking but he never raised a hand to me or John. His temper was quicker but he never hit me until…" He wiped away her tears. "It was at Alice and Frank's wedding when we ran into Michael and Mary. Sirius and Mary walked off and left Michael and I alone. It never occurred to me that after ten years of marriage, he would sleep with one of my best friends. Sirius started taking a lot of business trips to Egypt and when he wasn't there, he entertained himself by kicking the crap out of me for the tiniest reason. The next year Clara was born. I never saw him so happy, not even when John was born." She looked at him with tears in her eyes and kissed him briefly to give her strength to continue. "Sirius made plans to go to Egypt for Clara's first birthday but John became really ill and I begged him to stay with us because there was a chance that John would die. He was so angry with me. When John came home, Sirius was brutal! He beat me almost every hour! John accidentally threw up on him and Sirius tried to hit him but I covered John's body and took the beating for him."

He closed his eyes. "That's how you lost the baby?"

She nodded. "Yes, it is. I will never let him raise a hand to my son ever! I'd die before I let that happen!"

Remus kissed her. "He is a bastard. You don't deserve this, Sammy. Neither does John."

"I wish I never married him. I wish I would have gotten back together with you at the Christmas ball that year, Remus. It took me fifteen years of unhappiness to realize that he isn't the one for me. You are the only one for me and always have been. This past year that we've been together, it just reminded me of how much I have always loved you. Remus, you are my heart. I love you so much." She patted her stomach and smiled at him. "Marissa will love you. John has told me countless times that he wished that you were his father."

His eyes widened. "John knows about us?"

Sam sighed and smiled. "Yes, he does. He is a very clever boy. He figured it out all on his own. He keeps asking me when you will take us away from here."

Remus smiled. "Whenever you want. I could take you two away with me tonight, if you want."

Her arms tightened around his neck. "Do you mean it, Moony? Will you take us away from this place?"

"I would do anything for you, John, and Marissa. I love you all so much. You are my heart, Samantha. I love John as if he was my own and to know that he feels the same way about me brings me great joy. I haven't been around the whole time during your pregnancy but I promise to be the best father to both children. You are my family. We can leave as soon as possible."

"Do you think running away will keep me from you, Sammy?"

They jumped apart and saw Sirius glaring at them. Remus growled. "What are you going to do, mate? You can't stop us. We love each other and are having a baby."

"Well, I could get custody of John. He would never turn against his father."

"John hates you and wants me to be his father. You can't do anything about this." He grunted.

Sirius smirked. "I can prove that Sam has been unfaithful."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I can prove you have been unfaithful a lot longer than I have, _dearest_."

He narrowed his eyes. "Mary would never help you."

She smirked. "Michael would help me. He can agree to prove that you are Clara's real father." Her eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Don't try to threaten me, Black! Fifteen years of it has been enough!"

"Samantha, you could never leave me. I'm your everything."

Remus stood in front of Sam when Sirius made to strike her across the face. "You can't hurt her anymore, Sirius. I won't let you. Just let them go with me. You will be free. We will all be happy."

Sirius was panting with anger. "That bitch doesn't deserve to be happy! She took my life away!" He glared at her. "I should have let your parents take you away! I'd be a happier person now if it wasn't for you!"

Sam nodded. "You're right. You should have let them take me away. We should have never gotten married." He looked at her in surprise. "We were never right for each other. We were just too stupid to realize it until it was too late." He continued to glare. "What will make you agree to this? What will be the thing that lets you let us go? Do you want me to convince Michael to divorce Mary? I will do that if you let us go!"

"You are too pathetic for words."

"No, I'm not! You are the pathetic one! You are hanging onto someone who you don't love and who doesn't love you anymore. Tell me how to make things ok for you to let go!"

He stared at the pair closely. Remus was still in front of her. He was protecting her from yet another vicious beating courtesy of her cheating bastard of a husband. "There's nothing you can do." Her face fell. "I will let you and John go."

"Do you really mean that?"

Sirius nodded. "All I ask is for one last hug. You could do that, couldn't you, Sammy?"

Sam eyed him closely. "All you want is a hug from me?" He nodded again. "If I do this, you will let us go and never try to contact us again?"

He smiled. "If you do this then I promise that you will never see or hear from me again."

Remus put a hand on her arm to stop her from going to him. "I don't trust him."

She sighed. "Neither do I."

Sirius' smile grew. He held up his hands. "I do not have a weapon or wand on me. I will not harm Sam or your baby. I just want one last hug from my wife and then you three…four can go off and be happy together forever. Now, I think that is a fair deal, don't you?"

Sam nodded and walked over to him. He moved his arms quickly and she flinched. He gave her a sad look and wrapped his arms around her gently. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Thank you for this, Sirius. I hope you are happy with Mary and Clara."

His grip on her tightened and he pulled out his wand and pointed it at Remus. He smirked at his oldest friend. "_Stupefy!_" Remus fell to the ground. Sirius heard her gasp. He pushed her from him but suddenly grabbed her arms. "Do you honestly believe that I would let you go just like that? You are even more stupid than I originally thought!"

She tried to get away. "Sirius, you don't have to do this! I beg you! Please, don't do this! You can be with Mary and Clara if you let us go! We won't bother you, I promise! You will never hear from us. Please, if you ever loved me, let us go."

He threw her to the ground and smiled when she cried while clutching her stomach. He glared at Remus, who could only blink in return. "Now, your lover will be forced to watch me beat you. Will he still be your hero after he let me hurt you and your precious child?"

Sam cried. "Please, don't do this! Don't hurt the baby!"

Sirius ripped off his belt and laughed when she screamed. He was relentless and whipped her like it was nothing. Blood was pouring from her like she was a waterfall and he didn't seem to be even close to finishing. Her screams fueled his anger and each thrust of his arm made him want to hear the sound of leather hitting flesh more. Her screams grew faint and he noticed, after some time, that she wasn't breathing. He kicked her in the ribs and was disappointed that she didn't make the slightest noise. Sirius crouched down and saw that her eyes were shut and that her face was damp with tears. He shook her. "Samantha, I don't have time for your games." She didn't respond. His eyes grew and he began to shake her. "Sam, wake up at once! Samantha, I'm not joking! I told you to wake up!" He put his finger on her limp wrist and rubbed his hand over his face. "Do you see what happens when you make me angry, Sammy?" He glared at her lifeless form. "I said, wake up!" He shouted. He gathered her up in his arms and held her to his chest. The realization of what he just did flooded his mind and he began to cry. "Sammy, what did I do? What did I do?"

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Sirius walked into Sam's room and shook Lily until she woke up. Lily looked at him and groaned. "What do you want, Black? It's three in the morning and I don't appreciate being woken up so you can shag your fiancée." She noticed his face was white as the snow outside and she sat up. "Sirius, what's wrong? Are you alright?" 

He nodded. "I'm fine, Lily. I just need to talk to Sam alone. Can you sleep in my room?"

Lily sighed. "You aren't going to hurt her again, are you?"

His breath caught in his throat. "W-Why would you think that I would ever lay a hand on her?"

She gave him a weird look. "What the bloody hell are you talking about? I know you would never hit her."

"Can you please go and sleep in my room? I promise that I am not going to hurt her in anyway. I just really need to talk to her." She nodded and left. Sirius crawled into bed and watched Sam as she slept. She rolled onto her back and his body slid on top of hers. Sam squirmed and gasped when she opened her eyes. "Don't be scared, Sammy. It's only me." He whispered.

Sam turned her head to the side and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Where is Lily?" She muttered.

Sirius smiled when she looked at him. "I sent her to my room. I need to talk to you about something important."

She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "I told you that we aren't shagging tonight." She noticed that he looked pale and she gave him a soft smile. "I was only joking around. What do you want to talk about?" He didn't answer but continued to stare at her. "Baby, you look so pale. What's the matter? Is everything alright?"

He kissed her. "I had a terrible dream and needed to see you."

"I thought I was the only one who had bad dreams?"

Sirius sighed when she laughed. "Sam, I'm being serious."

"You are always Sirius."

He gave her a look. "I'm not joking around! Why can I be there for you when you have a bad dream but you can't be there for me?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Tell me about this dream you had. Let me make you feel better like you make me."

"I don't know if anyone can make me feel better."

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Tell me what has made you so upset. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

Sirius took a deep breath and told her about his dream. He had a look of fear on his face when she shuddered. "I was such a bastard and I…I killed you, Sam! I killed you!"

Sam shook her head aggressively. "That was a horrible dream." He nodded in response. She kissed him. "Sirius, you can't honestly believe that would ever happen."

"It felt so real. How can I not believe it will come true?"

She sighed before smiling at him. "Who is the dream seer in this relationship?" He gave her a look. "Ok, think about it. Do you think that if you did hit me and cheat on me that I would stay with you?"

He shrugged. "When we first went out and I was treating you like crap, you would have stayed with me. You said you would have changed everything about yourself to make me love you."

She groaned. "I was hurt and didn't know what I was saying. Sirius, between the two of us, who do you think would be the abusive spouse?" He laughed. "Plus, if you ever tried to raise a hand to me, do you honestly believe that James would take your side over mine? If I went to him right now and even hinted that you tried to hit me, he would kill you! My parents would kill you. Of course, they would have to bring you back to life after I killed you."

Sirius nuzzled her neck. "It just felt so real. I never want to hurt you…again but in my dream, I couldn't get enough of your pain. I beat you like it was nothing. For Merlin's sake, I had a child with Mary! I'm glad it wasn't with Lilac! That would have killed me!"

Sam laughed out loud and his arms tightened around her at the sound. "I won't let you hurt me again. Believe me when I say that if you ever raised a hand to me and cheated on me with one of my best friends, I would leave you so fast that your head would still be spinning ten years later."

He sighed. "But it-"

She held up a hand to stop him from talking. "Do you want to shag Mary?"

"What?"

"Do you fancy Mary?" He shook his head. "Do you want to shag Mary?"

He shook his head again. "No, I don't. I mean, she is cute and all but I never thought of her in that way."

She smiled and kissed him. "See, you have nothing to worry about! We are going to be fine."

Sirius groaned. "But I killed you! Only then did I realize what a bastard I was."

Sam sat up and caressed Sirius' hair as his head rested on her stomach. "How can I make you feel better?" He shrugged. "How about I ask you a couple of questions? I'll ask questions that are about what happened in your dream." He nodded. "Would you ever cheat on me again?" He looked her in the eye and shook his head. She smiled and kissed him again. "Would you ever shag Mary?" He shrugged. She slapped his arm. "Sirius, answer the question!"

He laughed. "I was only joking! The only way I'd sleep with one of your best friends is if…well, I just wouldn't."

"Do you ever want to hit me?"

His eyes widened. "What?"

She held his face in her hands. "I know I can be frustrating as hell but you never raised a hand to me. Do you want to hit me?"

Sirius looked down in shame. "A couple of times I wanted to shake you. You are just so…damn stubborn sometimes." He gave her a pathetic look. "That makes me a terrible person, doesn't it?"

She laughed. "No, it doesn't. Trust me when I say everyone feels that way about someone sometimes. James has moments when he wants to shake Lily and vice versa but James would never harm her because he loves her. Sirius, the same goes for you. You have moments when you want to shake the hell out of me because I am being stubborn but I know you. I know your heart. You would never willingly hurt me." He visibly relaxed. "Are you sure you want to marry me right now?"

He gaped at her. "Why are you asking me that?"

"In your dream, you said I took your life away. You said that if you never married me, you would be a happier person. Are you having doubts about marrying me so soon?"

His arms tightened around her and he kissed her. "Sam, I'm not having doubts. I love you and I want my life with you." He looked away from her. "It's just that…"

She forced him to look her in the eye. "What is it, Baby?" He looked like he was struggling with himself. She brushed his hair out of his eyes. He gave her a pathetic look. "Why is my madman sad?" His mouth twitched a smile. "You can tell me anything and you know I will love you no matter what." His heart leapt into his throat. She smiled encouragingly. "What else is on your mind, Sirius?" He shrugged awkwardly. She laughed and he smiled. "Is that a smile on my handsome fiancée's face?" He let out a barking laugh. She leaned in and kissed him. She smiled when he let out a sigh of relief. "I want you to be ok. If you are having any doubts or if you are having some sort of problem, you can tell me and I'll try my best to help you through it all. We made a promise to be honest with one another and to tell each other everything. We promised to work through whatever comes our way. Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me what you need me to do to make you feel better."

Sirius sat up and wrapped her legs around his back. He kissed her and smiled when she let out a moan of pleasure. "I love you more than life itself. I don't have any doubts about marrying you. I'm excited about it. I honestly never thought that I would marry anyone let alone you. I thought, for some time, that I would love 'em and leave 'em for the rest of my life. That all changed when I opened my eyes after seven years and realized that I had found the only woman I'll ever love and she's been under my nose the entire time disguised as my best friend's little sister and my other best friend's girlfriend. There isn't a single doubt in my mind about me marrying you but I have doubts about you marrying me."

"What do you mean?"

He groaned. "My behavior in the dream-" She opened her mouth to argue but he stopped her. "I know that it was just a dream but it still shook me. I have to explain to you what I thought." She nodded and let him continue. "That man in my dream reminded me of my father." She stared at him closely. "I'm afraid that I will turn into my father. He is like how I acted in my dream. For a long time, I feared him. He used to beat me for the tiniest reason and I was always scared to move let alone speak because I might get hit. My mother…she never cared about me. She would encourage him to hit me. What if I turn out like him? I'm scared that I will become him and hurt you like I did in my dream."

Sam bit her lip. "That won't happen."

"How do you know that? How can you be so sure?"

She brought him closer and sighed when he rested his head on her chest. "I know this because I know you. Sirius, most of your family is complete bastards that never deserved you. They knew that you were better than them in everyway and they couldn't take it so they treated you horribly. You are so much stronger than you know. You managed to escape them and become a part of a family that loves you so much and would do anything for you. Not everyone is as lucky as you. You will never become like your father because you are already better than him. You will never hit your children or your wife. You know what real love is even after growing up without it. Sirius, you are a strong and loyal person. Your entire family isn't worth a quarter of you."

Sirius looked up at her and smiled. "Do you really mean that, Sammy?" She smiled and nodded. He kissed her. "I really needed to hear that. Thank you."

"Anytime, Sirius. Do you feel better?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you think you will be able to sleep now?"

He nodded. "Can I stay here with you like this? I fear for my safety if I have to wake Lily up and have her switch rooms again."

She laughed. "She would hex you if you did that." He nodded eagerly. "You can stay here with me. I would worry about you all night if you left. I'll protect you from those bad dreams of yours." He smiled and kissed her. He stayed on top of her and rested his head back on her chest. Her heart beat lulled him to sleep. She sighed as she stroked his hair. She felt so bad for him. This dream that he had had him so shaken that he actually feared it would come true. He was terrified that he would turn into his bastard of a father and hurt her. Her arms tightened around his torso and he snuggled closer to her in his sleep. She looked down at him and smiled softly. "Don't worry anymore, Baby. I will protect you." She whispered. He sighed in his sleep. "You are a great man, Sirius. I'm honored that I have you in my life and that you love me. Before I go, I will make damn sure that you know how wonderful and how loved you are."

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Andromeda smiled as she hugged them. Sirius wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders and kissed her cheek. He felt much better after their talk last night. She had calmed his fears and now, he had no fear or doubts to marry her. "You seem awfully chipper this morning, Andy." She rolled her eyes. "Does this mean that you found a loop hole that will help us get married?" 

She beamed at them and nodded. "Yes, I did!" They gasped in response. "How would you feel about getting married tomorrow morning?"

Sam's eyes widened. "T-Tomorrow? That's New Years Eve!"

They stared at her. "You aren't still having doubts, are you?" James asked.

She shook her head. "I don't have any doubts, James. I was just surprised by how soon this is all happening."

Lily smiled. "It has to be soon or you will be sent away." Sam nodded. "Are you sure that aren't having doubts?"

She smiled when she looked at Sirius' face. She knew what he was thinking. He was afraid that she changed her mind after telling her about his dream. She kissed him. "There is no doubt in my mind that I love Sirius and want to marry him." He visibly relaxed. "How did you do it, Andromeda? What law had the loop hole?"

She squirmed under their close stares. "Does it really matter in the long run? Just be glad that Sam didn't have to claim abuse towards her parents."

Sirius gasped. "That was the other option?"

"Yes, it was. We know Sam would never agree to that."

Sam nodded. "That's right. My parents have never hit me. I couldn't lie like that."

Andromeda smiled. "I know that, sweetie. That's why I'm glad I found another way. It just…fell onto my lap and I quickly took advantage."

"What law did you say had the loop hole?" Sam asked.

She stopped blinking for a second before she remembered that she didn't tell them. "It doesn't matter." She looked away from Sam's close stare. "Now, you will meet me here at seven and I will take you to the justice of the peace at ten. He doesn't live far so it won't take that long. Will you be joining us, Lily?"

Lily nodded. "Of course I'm coming! It's not everyday your best friend gets married!" Sam beamed at her. "And it's not everyday that Sirius becomes tied to one woman for the rest of his life." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Think of all the weeping girls at school when they find out he is off limits and can never corrupt them again."

He shifted uncomfortably under the stares of Andromeda and Sam. "Exactly how many girls has my cousin corrupted?"

She laughed. "Pretty much the entire school except the girls from Slytherin and me. James has corrupted me." James smiled and nodded eagerly. "Poor Sammy never stood a chance against him. She met him when she was ten and has been crazy about him ever since." Sirius and Sam shared a blush. "I have to say that Sirius was always kind to Sam about her crush on him. He never made her feel embarrassed about it. That was James' job." James nodded again. Andromeda laughed. "I still can't believe that this git is ready to marry her. I'm surprised that he isn't feeling trapped or anything. To think, Sirius is willingly giving up on all those future conquests to be with one girl forever!"

Andromeda nodded. "It is a bit shocking. I had to lie down for about an hour after you lot left." She looked at him. "I never knew how much of a man whore you really are. I don't know how Sam did it but you are becoming a grown up. My cousin wants to be married? It is still a shock to me."

James saw Sirius grow tense as the two kept going on. Sam noticed this as well and dropped her arm from his waist and moved away from him. "You two had better cut it out or this wedding won't happen. Sirius might actually start feeling trapped again and hurt her." James muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked quietly.

He shot Sirius a look. "I'm not talking about anything. You don't have to worry."

Sirius rubbed Sam's back and sighed. "Why do we have to be here at seven if we are getting married at ten?"

Andromeda smiled. "You will be traveling by Floo powder, right?" They nodded. "Well, if you come here at seven then you will have more than enough time to clean up and get ready. You don't want to get married covered in soot, do you?" They shook their heads. "There's something else we have to discuss."

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"Where will you be living after you get married?"

They looked at each other and shrugged. "We didn't really think that far ahead." Lily said.

"Why does it matter where they live now? We're still in school." James said with a shrug.

"Plus, we live with Mr. and Mrs. Potter when we're not in school." Sirius said.

She shook her head. "Do you honestly believe that their parents will let you live with them after they find out that you two snuck off and got married?" They shrugged. She laughed. "You really didn't think about this, did you?"

Sirius sighed. "We didn't think about it. It never occurred to us that they would be so upset that they would kick us out."

"They might just do that. You also have to realize that you two will have to live somewhere during your summer holiday and where will Sirius live while Sam is back at school?"

Sam sighed. They really didn't think this through. "What do you suggest?"

Andromeda laughed. "You should thank your lucky stars that I thought of this! I have a friend in Diagon Alley. She rents flats to people like you two." They rolled their eyes. "I figured that you didn't plan ahead so I arranged for us to meet with her today. She promised me that she will help us find you a place to live."

Sirius hugged her. "Thank you for your help, Andy. We would be lost without you."

She smiled. "That is very true." He rolled his eyes. "You better appreciate this, Sirius. I had to call in a lot of favors for everything to happen this quickly."

Sam hugged Andromeda and smiled. "We really do appreciate this, Andromeda. Thank you so much for all your help."

"It's not a problem, Sammy. I would do anything for you and Sirius. We better go and meet Sierra. She is very anxious to meet you and to help you."

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Sirius held Sam's hand as they walked through another flat. Nothing seemed right to them. They were either too small or too smelly. They left and sighed. Sierra smiled at them and led them upstairs. She was a very nice woman. She had bright green eyes and bright blonde hair. Sirius held in a laugh when he watched her waddle her wide figure up the stairs. Sierra opened the door and everyone gasped. They stood in the middle of a spacious two bedroom flat and from the looks on their faces; she knew that this was the one for them. "Feel free to look around." They were in awe of the place. She laughed. "It comes with the furniture so that's one less thing you two love birds have to worry about." Sam and Sirius blushed. "Go have a look around! See if this is the place for you!" 

He smiled mischievously at Sam and dragged her down the hall towards the bedrooms. "I want to check out the bedrooms!"

Sam blushed and laughed as she staggered next to him. "Sirius!"

Sierra and Andromeda shared a smile. "No shagging in any of the rooms until you pay rent and we leave!" They heard Sirius laugh. Sierra turned to Andromeda. "They are so cute together." Andromeda smiled and nodded. "Are they really getting married tomorrow?"

Andromeda nodded again. "Yes, they are. Tomorrow morning at ten."

"They must really be sure and love each other to do this so quickly." Sierra smiled. "She isn't pregnant, is she?"

She laughed. "No, she isn't. Sirius is just madly in love with her and can't possibly wait to marry her. Sam is a sweet girl and loves him very much. She is very forgiving as well." Sierra gave her a curious look. "He broke her heart earlier this year and she came back to him after he begged her to." She smiled at the thought of them. "I think she is good for him. He seems to want to be a better person because of her. He wants to protect her. For some strange reason, this whole situation seems right for them. It makes a weird sort of sense for them to be doing this."

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Sam laughed as Sirius playfully nipped at her neck. They were in the master bedroom and she was trying to look around but he kept grabbing at her and kissing her. She pulled away from his tight embrace. "Sirius, do you love me?" He laughed. She sighed as she looked down at the ground. "Do you love me, Sirius?" 

Sirius caressed her cheek before kissing her. "I'm marrying you, aren't I?" She gave him a look. "Of course I love you, Sammy. Why do you ask?"

"Are you sure that you want to marry me?"

He felt fear rise within him as he stared at her. "Yes, I am. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life." She nodded. "Are you sure you want to? Did my dream give you doubts?"

She shook her head. "No, it didn't."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's just that at Andromeda's…you kept getting tense when we were talking about the wedding. I was and still am afraid that you think I'm forcing you into this. I'm afraid that you are starting to have doubts."

He wrapped his arms around her. They sat down on the bed and he continued to hold her. "I was annoyed that Andromeda and Lily kept saying how remarkable it was for someone like me to be with only one person. I'm not having doubts and I don't think you are forcing me into anything. I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world to have someone like you in my life and that someone as wonderful as you loves me."

Sam kissed him. "I'm not that great, Sirius." He shook his head in disagreement. "I'm so happy that you love me and want to spend your life with me. I feel lucky that I have someone like you love me."

Sirius kissed her and started moving his hands up her shirt. She swatted his hands away. "Why are you doing that?"

She rolled her eyes. "My brother is in the next room with other people. Plus, I want to hold off until our wedding night." He pouted. She laughed. "Sirius, it's only for one night! It's not like we are waiting a year!" She kissed him. "Come on. Let's go see the kitchen!"

Sirius wrapped his arms around her from behind as they walked into the kitchen. He kissed the side of her neck when they stopped in front of the kitchen table. "I'm taking you on the table the first night we are here." He whispered in her ear. She blushed in response. "I'm taking you in every room the first night but I'm starting on the kitchen table."

She hit his arm playfully. "You're terrible!"

He picked her up and sat her down on the table. He kissed her and pushed her down as he climbed on top. She squirmed underneath him but soon stopped when his hands moved up her skirt. He bit her lower lip and pressed into her. She moaned in his mouth and ran her hands through his hair. Sierra and Andromeda walked in but stopped dead in their tracks. They were surprised as hell by the sight. Andromeda blinked as she watched her cousin grope his fiancée on the table. "I thought I said that there will be no shagging until you pay rent and we leave."

Sirius' head shot up and Sam looked anywhere but at the two women as she blushed. "We'll take it! We definitely want to keep this sturdy table. Now, leave us alone!"

He resumed kissing Sam but they were interrupted again. "Padfoot, get the hell off of my sister! That's disturbing! Wasn't it enough that I had to walk in the middle of her shagging Moony?"

Sam pushed Sirius off of her and stood up. She was blushing like crazy. Andromeda, Sierra, and Lily smiled at her. "James, shut up! I want to forget that incident as much as you do!"

James glared at her. "Wasn't it enough that I saw you doing _things_ to Sirius in your room, Samantha?"

The others let out loud laughs. "You're the one that didn't knock again, James!"

James glared at her. He opened his mouth but Lily put her hand over his mouth. "James, don't say a word! Let them be. They are going to be newlyweds tomorrow." He nodded. She looked at Sirius. "Where are you sleeping tonight?"

Sirius gave her a weird look. "What are you talking about? I'm sleeping at home like I have been doing."

She rolled her eyes. "I know that, you git! I meant what room are you sleeping in?"

He pointed at Sam. "I'm staying in our room like I've been doing."

Andromeda shook her head. "No, you aren't."

He groaned. "Why the bloody hell not?" He looked at Sam. "Was this your idea? I know you want to hold off until tomorrow night but if I stay in our room it's not like I'm going to attack you in the middle of the night while you're asleep."

Sam laughed. "I have no idea what they are talking about and I know you would never do that."

James smiled. "The two of you are holding off until the wedding night?"

Sam laughed when she saw the aggravated look on Sirius' face. "Yes, we are. This big baby keeps pouting about it though. It's only for one night and he's acting like it's a year."

Sirius glared at her while the others laughed. "It hasn't been only one night! It's been three and tonight will make it four! That's very frustrating!"

Andromeda patted his cheek. "Aw, is my little cousin sexually frustrated?" He growled at her. "Get over it! You have the rest of your life to shag her. You can wait one more night."

"Remus!" Sam exclaimed when Sirius kissed her cheek.

They stared at her curiously. "What about him?" James asked.

She looked at them and smiled. "We have to tell him about tomorrow. He can't find out from someone else. That would crush him. Plus, I want him there with us. He is a part of our family and it wouldn't seem right if he wasn't there with us."

"Why don't you and Sirius go see him and the four of us will take care of things here?" Andromeda suggested.

"No, I couldn't do that. You've done so much already."

She smiled and hugged her. "You make my git of a cousin happy. After tomorrow morning, you'll be family. I don't mind helping. I enjoy it actually. This is very romantic if you ask me." Sam nodded and laughed. "You two go on and talk to Remus." They hugged and left. Andromeda looked at James and Lily. "Will Remus show up tomorrow?"

They shrugged. "I think he will definitely show up." Lily said.

James laughed. "But you forgot to ask why he would show up?"

Andromeda gave him a funny look. "What are you talking about?"

Lily hit his arm when he continued to laugh. "James, it's not that funny!"

His laughing slowed. "I meant that he would probably show up to stop the wedding."

"Why would he do that?"

Lily sighed. "Remus is still in love with Sam and Sam is still in love with Remus."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Then why is she marrying Sirius? She does love Sirius, right?"

"Of course she does! She loves Sirius very much! You don't have to worry about that!" Lily said.

Andromeda scratched her head and sighed. "I'm so confused. Sam is in love with both of them?" They nodded. "But she chose Sirius." They nodded again. "Won't Remus just have to accept it?"

James laughed again and shook his head. "Remus isn't…Sirius…How do I explain this?" He groaned. "The two of them, when it comes to my sister, aren't what you would call rational thinkers. They want her to be with only them and for her to never look at anyone male except them and me. They want to be the only one that she loves but she loves them both. They mean a lot to her but she gets annoyed at how they are risking their friendship by always competing for her attention and love. She almost went back out with Michael just to get away from them."

"My head hurts." Sierra muttered.

They nodded. "Hopefully, with the wedding and all, their constant competing will stop." Lily said.

He rolled his eyes. "You know that it won't." She nodded and sighed. "Remus might back off for a while but it won't last long. I feel bad for Sirius. My sister and my lovely girlfriend-" Lily blushed when he said that and kissed her cheek. "Have a lot of admirers…wherever they go." He grumbled the last part of his sentence. "Lily has three people in love with her. There is that git in Ravenclaw…David Corner. I want to hit him in the face so bad! He keeps trying to touch you!" Lily rolled her eyes. "There is also Amos Diggory but he is the second biggest man whore at school. Now, he will be number one once Sirius gets married." Andromeda laughed. "And most importantly, I'm in love with Lily. I would do anything for her." She blushed and wrapped her arms around him. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Sam has the same problem as Lily except that Sam is in love or just loves the three guys that love her. Michael Lewis, he saved her life, has been in love with her since our second year. He is one of her best friends. She loves and cares for him very much. Remus has been crazy about Sam since…I think it's been…oh yeah! When they briefly met at King's Cross Station at the end of our first year and when he saw her again in Diagon Alley later in the summer. He got his courage to finally ask her out when she was going out with Patrick in our fourth year. They started going out at the Christmas ball. They had a lot of obstacles in their relationship. Their first break up was caused by Sirius."

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "That sounds about right."

"They broke up last year at the Christmas ball. Don't worry; it wasn't Sirius' fault that time. It was Remus'. She went out with Michael and our other friend Chris but that didn't last long. Sirius finally took his head out of his ass and asked her out over the summer. Well…you know what happened during the beginning of term." Andromeda nodded. "She was…she sort of went back to Moony. They were shagging like rabbits and she was planning to get back together with him but he screwed it all up and then the attack happened. So, you see, Remus is still in love with Sam and there's a chance that he might want to stop the wedding."

Andromeda looked at Sierra. "I'm with you. My head does hurt."

James smiled. "It is very confusing but somehow it all makes sense." The two women shrugged while Lily held in a laugh. "I honestly don't understand why my two best friends, Michael, and some of the other guys…in walking distance fall all over themselves for her."

"Well, she's hot!" James and Lily gaped at Sierra. "She seems to be a very sweet and loving girl. She is also extremely hot. Plus, have you ever noticed her chest? It's amazing!"

Their mouths hung open. "Now she has women after her?" Lily muttered.

Sierra smiled. "Did you see how her hips wiggled when she walks? When she blushed…I almost lost it!"

They continued to gape at her. Andromeda laughed. "Did I forget to mention that Sierra is gay?" They blinked in response.


	51. Chapter 50: To Tell The Truth

Chapter 50: To Tell The Truth.

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Sirius and Sam walked into Remus' room and smiled when he looked away from his window. His face brightened when he saw her but fell when he saw his best friend holding her hand. "What are you doing here?" He asked in a small voice.

Sam hugged him and he had to resist the urge to kiss her. "I had to see you." He smiled. "Sirius and I have to discuss something with you."

Remus eyed them closely. He nodded at Sirius and they sat down on his bed. "What do we need to discuss?"

She looked at Sirius and he sighed. "Sam's parents want to send her back to St. Mungo's." Remus gasped. "We don't want that to happen. We found a way, with the help of my cousin Andromeda, to stop this from happening."

"Well, what is it?"

She sighed. "We are getting married tomorrow?"

His eyes widened. "You're going to do what?"

"Remus, please, remain calm." She begged.

He stood up and began to pace. "This is completely crazy!"

Sirius shook his head. "I know it seems that way but it's the only way." He sighed. "Moony, we want your support. We need it."

"Isn't there any other way? Did you even try to talk to your parents?"

She nodded. "Of course we did! James and Lily even tried to but they wouldn't listen." She smiled at him. "When James came up with this idea and Lily and Sirius agreed to it, I thought they were nutters!"

Remus stopped pacing. "This was James' brilliant idea and Lily agreed to it?" They nodded. "You're all mad! Sam, how can you go along with it? What about what we talked about?"

"What did you talk about?" Sirius asked while looking at Sam.

Sam smiled at him. "I had doubts about our engagement. Don't you remember me telling you about this?" He nodded. She looked at Remus. "Remus, we love each other and want to get married. It's sooner than we expected but it's the only way for us to be together and for me not to be sent away. Please, understand our reasons and support us."

He sunk down on the window seat. "I do understand, Sammy. I was just surprised." She smiled. "I guess I have no choice but to support you."

She hugged him. "Thank you so much, Remus!"

He let out a small smile. "Why did you come to tell me? Why didn't you let me find out when you told everyone else?"

"Sam didn't think it would be right to do that. Plus, you are a part of our family, mate! We want you there with us!"

"Y-You want me there?"

She laughed. "Of course we do, Hero!" Sirius scowled at her nickname for Remus. "We love you and we want you there with us. It would mean so much to me if you were there."

He smiled at her. "If you want me there, I'll be there. You know I can't deny you a thing." She blushed while Sirius continued to scowl. "What time should I be there?"

Sam hugged him again. "It's tomorrow at ten. We are going to Andromeda's at seven and she will take us to the justice of the peace. He lives a few miles away from her."

"I think I know where that is. My mum has had to do business with him for the ministry."

She smiled. "This is wonderful! Thank you, Moony! This means so much to me!" He beamed at her. "If you will excuse me, I have to use the bathroom."

They nodded and she left. Sirius stared at his friend and sighed. "So, what's new with you?"

Remus glared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Why are you doing this? Why do you have to marry her?"

"Are you thick? Didn't you hear a word we said? They are going to send her away! This is the only way!"

He shook his head. "This is completely crazy! There has to be another way!" He sighed. "Why do you have to marry her?"

Sirius looked down at the ground. "I love her, Moony. I've loved her for as long as I can remember. She loves me too. I proposed to her on Christmas."

"Yes, I know. She came here and told me. I don't know why you did that. Why did you rush into things again?"

"Don't you get it? I love her! I wanted her back and now, I've got her!"

Remus sneered. "You just want her back so that I wouldn't have her. You wanted her back because that way, she won't be with someone else and you can control her again."

His eyes widened. "That's a lie and you know it! You're just mad that she chose me and not you!"

"She wanted to get back with me, not you. I don't know how you did it but she went back to you! I'm surprised you are marrying her. Are you going to change your mind again? Are you going to make her beg for you again?"

Sirius growled. "I already told you that I regretted doing that to her! I made a mistake and she forgave me! We are getting married tomorrow whether you like it or not!"

He was panting. "It won't last! You are going to screw it all up again and I will be there waiting for her."

"Why are you acting this way? You told her that you would support us!"

"I lied! I don't support this stupid plan but I couldn't tell her that! I don't want her to hate me anymore." He rubbed his temples. "You could have anyone, Padfoot. You could have any girl at school, why did you have to choose her? Why does it have to be her? Why does it have to be the only girl I've ever loved that you marry?"

Sirius sighed. "I love her, Moony. She is the only one I've ever loved. She makes me want to be a better person."

Remus glared at him. "You could have anyone but I can't. She was the first person I told about my secret and she accepted me. She loved me despite it all!"

"She still loves you, Remus. I know she does but she chose me. She agreed to marry me."

"Only as a last resort!"

"That's not true! I asked her before St. Mungo's came up!"

He got in his face. "You will screw it up again, you know you will. I know you will. Sirius, you are hiding something from her, I know you are. I may not know what it is but I know she will leave you because of it. Sam will leave you and come back to me. She still loves me and will come back to me. All I have to do is wait and she will be with me again."

He pushed him away. "No, she won't! You had your chance but you screwed up! Just face the fact that she loves me and we are getting married. She won't leave me. I won't let her."

Remus laughed. "I know I screwed up but that doesn't matter anymore. She forgave me. You will screw it all up. You know it too. I can smell the fear all over you. You did something or are about to do something and you know she will leave you."

"When did you become such a bastard?"

He smirked. "In my fifth year when one of my best friends made a play for my girlfriend."

Sirius was fuming. "I apologized for that! It wasn't my fault that you said all that shit to her and broke up with her! If you would have just listened then maybe you would be marrying her tomorrow instead of me but you aren't! She chose me, not you! Get over it, Moony! You had your shot but you screwed up!"

Remus was tempted to punch him but stopped himself. "I wasn't the only one that screwed up! I never lied to her! I never told her that I didn't love her when I did! I didn't _purposely_ hurt her because I was scared to love her!"

He growled at him again. "This is pointless! We've been through this all before! No matter what we say it won't change the fact that I'm marrying her." He stared at him closely. "We were best friends once. Despite everything that happened, we were best friends. We agreed to put this behind us. Why can't we do that? Why can't we still be friends?"

He looked out the window. "It's hard to let things go. Every time I turned around, you were after her. In our fifth year and in our sixth." Sirius' eyes widened. "I knew you started having feelings for her at the end of our fifth year. It was so obvious to everyone but Sam. You got worse over the summer. You kept interrupting us and tried to hog her attention but I never said a word because I knew that she didn't notice. She only wanted me then. You practically admitted to it in Slughorn's class when we learned about the love potion."

"H-How-"

"You described her scent. Lily hinted at it later that day but I pretended not to notice."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Remus turned around and smiled when he saw how pale Sirius looked. "As I said, she didn't notice and only loved me. Why say anything when I knew she wouldn't cheat on me? She's loyal to the ones she loves. She is faithful, unlike us." Sirius nodded. "She would always tell me that she would love me forever. When I cheated on her…her faith was shaken. When you cheated on her and said those things to her, she told me that she almost stopped believing in love. She told me that I brought her back, she believed in love again because of me."

He was pale. "I-I didn't know that."

"How could you? You didn't want to know and she wouldn't have told you."

Sirius began to pace. "She tells you everything. When I ask her a question, it's like I have to pull teeth just to get an answer." He stopped and stared at him. "Why does she tell you everything but not me?"

He shrugged. "I honestly don't know why but that's how it worked out. We have always been that way with one another even before we started going out."

He shook his head and laughed. "I was always jealous of you for that. I still am."

"Y-You were jealous of me?"

He nodded and shrugged. "Yes, I was and still am. I was her obsession but you were her life line. Whenever she had a problem, she ran to you. Of course I was jealous of you! The girl I loved would drool all over me but she ran to you. She trusted you with her secrets and dreams. Didn't you ever wonder why, in our second year, I kept asking you if you had feelings for her? Or, in our third year? I didn't want you to be…I wanted her to turn to me instead of you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You barely paid any attention to her! The only time you did pay attention was when some guy was around and flirting with her. She didn't think you would ever feel the same way about her that she felt for you. She didn't want to waste anymore time pining after you when you never acknowledged her."

"I noticed her! I just didn't realize…I couldn't let myself love her! She's my best friend's sister! It didn't feel right! I didn't know that I could be with her until James gave you his blessing to be with her!"

"Well, you could have asked him. James always knew you loved her and never understood why you didn't say anything. He was shocked when he found out that Sam was the girl I was sneaking around with. He told me that when he found out, he was pissed because he thought I was just using her. I explained to him that she barely let me touch her. She was new to kissing and…uh…other things. She didn't want to rush and I loved her enough to respect that. He knew this before I talked to him. He saw how we acted with one another and even followed us a couple of time. James knew that I wasn't using her and loved her. That's why he gave us his blessing. He would have done the same thing with you. You just didn't speak up soon enough. For once, I was the brave one and got the girl. It could have been you. She would have experienced everything with you instead of me."

Sirius rubbed his temples. "I always thought she would have waited to be with me. I always though I would be her first."

He smiled. "Did you?" Sirius nodded. "When you found out about our first time together, were you jealous?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I was! That talk with Lily, after I found out, made me realize it! That blasted woman made me realize something that I really didn't want to know! She made me realize that I wanted to be Sam's first but that's not going to happen. You were her first…everything but what am I to her?"

Remus groaned. "I can't believe I'm going to do this!" Sirius gave him a curious look. "You were her first vision…I think…yeah, you were. You were her first _good_ vision. You were her first crush and you were her first true friend that wasn't James. Now, you are going to be her first and only husband. So, you see, you are something important to her."

Sirius smiled. "You know what? You're right! I mean, she wasn't any of my firsts either. Thanks, Moony!" He sighed when he saw the sad look on his friend's face. "She does love you. She told me that she always would."

He smiled. "I don't need a pep talk, Padfoot. I know she loves me." He sighed. "Just don't hurt her again. If you do, you will never get her back."

"Believe me, I know! She told me so."

He eyed him closely. "What are you hiding, Padfoot?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "What do you mean?"

Remus shook his head. "I can smell the fear on you. What are you hiding? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"You're lying! Tell me what you did. Maybe I could help."

Sirius smiled. "Are you saying that we're still friends?"

Remus laughed. "Of course we are. James, Peter, and you are my best friends. Just because we have some…_issues_ doesn't mean that we aren't friends. I'd do anything for you lot."

He smirked. "We'd do anything for you, mate." They shook hands. "Are you going to be there tomorrow? Sam needs you there. _I _need you there."

He smiled. "I will be there. I promise that I will be there for the both of you." He gripped his hand and pulled him closer. "Just remember not to hurt her again. If you do, she will leave you and I will be there waiting for her."

Sirius continued to smile. "I won't hurt her again. You don't have to worry about that, mate. She isn't going anywhere."

"I'm going home."

They looked away from each other and saw Sam smiling at them. "What did you say, Sammy?" Remus asked while letting go of Sirius' hand.

Sam walked over to him and hugged him. "I want you to know that I love you very much and I always will." He blushed when she kissed his cheek. "Thank you for your support, Hero. It means so much to me that you will be there for us."

Remus looked at Sirius. "Can you give us a minute alone?" He nodded and left. He kissed her and smiled when she kissed him back. "I love you too, Sammy. I always will." She smiled and kissed him again. "If you need anything at all, just let me know. I'll be there for you."

She held him close and took in his scent. "I know, Moony. You're always there for me. He won't hurt me again. I won't let him." He looked doubtful. "You mean so much to me, Hero. I couldn't have made it the last few months…the last six years without you."

He laughed. "I doubt that." She shook her head but stopped when he kissed her again. "I love you, Samantha. Never doubt the love I still have for you, ok?" She smiled and nodded. "Just know that if you ever need me, I'll be there."

Sam nodded and leaned in for one last kiss. "I know, Hero. I know you'll be there for me."

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Mrs. Potter walked into the living room when she heard the children. She saw Sirius and Sam talking in whispers and tried to listen. They stopped talking when they saw her standing there, watching them. "Where have you two been? I was worried when James and Lily came home without you."

Sam looked excited. "Lily is still here?" Mrs. Potter nodded. "Where is she?"

She smiled. "She is upstairs with James. I was just about to check on them."

Sirius laughed. "You don't have to worry about them doing anything. James has tried but Lily won't let him."

Sam hit his arm. "Sirius, stop it! I doubt Mama wants to hear about that!"

Mrs. Potter shrugged. "It's good to know that I don't have to worry about grandchildren just yet." She narrowed her eyes into thin slits. "I don't, do I?"

She rolled her eyes. "Mama, spare me! I'm not pregnant and I don't plan on it!"

He smiled at her. "You never know, Sammy. We could start trying right now if you want."

Sam rolled her eyes and punched his arm. Mrs. Potter glared at him. "Sirius Phineas Black, you better keep your hands off of her! If I find out that you got my little girl pregnant, I will hex you into the next century!"

"My hands haven't touched her! Believe me, I've tried but she won't let me."

She eyed him closely. "Samantha, is he telling the truth?" Sam nodded. "That's a good girl."

"We are waiting until our wedding night." Sam said with a smirk.

Sirius held in his laughter. "Come on, Sam. Let's go upstairs." Mrs. Potter gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "We are just going to talk to James and Lily."

They walked upstairs and into James' room. James and Lily were lying down on his bed, cuddling. They looked up and smiled at them. "How'd it go with Moony?" James asked while yawning.

Sam smiled while Sirius shrugged. "He said he would come and support us tomorrow." They smiled. "Lily, can I talk to you alone?"

Lily nodded and they went to her room. Sirius sat down on James' bed and lay down next to him. James glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "What's on your mind, Padfoot?"

"It's what Moony said." James gave him a curious look. "He said that I would screw up again and he would wait for Sam to come to him. He said that we were still friends but that he knew I would screw it all up again and he would be waiting for her."

He laughed. "That sounds like Moony! What else did he say to you?" Sirius told him what happened and he laughed again. "Did you really smell her scent?" He blushed and nodded. "Did you tell her?" He shook his head. "Sirius, have you told her the truth yet?"

Sirius sighed. "No, I haven't." He gave him a look. "I will though! I promised I would and I will! It's just a lot has happened. I will tell her when the time is right."

James rolled over onto his side and Sirius did the same. "I believe you. I know my sister as well as I know you and she will be upset but if you tell her everything, including the scent story, she will forgive you."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so! You made a mistake but you already know that. She will be mad but she will forgive you."

He nodded. "They kissed again. I could smell him all over her. When we came home we were talking about it. She said it didn't mean anything except a goodbye but it's hard to get past. When she told him about our engagement, they kissed. I had to force her to tell me about it. Why does she go to him for comfort? Why does she tell him about everything but she fights against me?"

James shrugged. "They have always been that way with one another. They have a strong connection that even I can't explain. Maybe it's because they experienced their firsts with each other. You and Sam have always had a strong bong but would always fight."

"I wish that I was her first everything instead of Remus. Maybe if I was, she would be confiding in me instead of Remus."

"Mate, you can't go back in time and change everything for the better. It's not possible. You could have been with her but you hesitated unlike Remus." He sighed. "Padfoot, she loves you. She came back to you, didn't she?" Sirius smiled and nodded. "Why are you so worried about your closeness to her? Are you having doubts about tomorrow?"

His eyes widened. "No, I'm not! I love Sam! I really do! I want to be with her and if it helps prevent her from being sent away then all the better! You don't have to worry about that, Prongs."

He looked around and laughed. "We better get off the bed. We look like a couple!"

Sirius laughed. "That is too disturbing!" He smiled when they sat up. "Thanks for all your help, Prongs. I know I don't have anything to worry about now."

James smiled and they hugged briefly. "That's what I'm here for. Just promise me that you will tell her everything. She will be mad but don't lose hope, ok?"

He nodded. "I promise I will tell her and that I won't lose hope. She loves me and will forgive me. I know that now."

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Lily sat down on her bed and smiled at Sam. "What did you want to talk about?"

Sam lay down on her bed and sighed. "I need your help with something."

"What is it?"

She sat up and smiled. "I heard Remus and Sirius talking. Sirius said that he wished he was my first everything instead of Remus. I want him to be my first."

She laughed. "Sam, that's not possible. You can't go back in time and change things. I thought you were glad Remus was your first?"

She smiled. "I am! I still love him so much! I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything! I just want to give Sirius something that he has always wanted. I want to give him my virginity."

Lily gave her a weird look. "I don't understand. How can you give him your virginity when you lost it to Remus three years ago?"

Sam giggled. "Do you remember when Lilac told us about that charm she found? The one that she used to make Adam believe that she was a virgin?"

Her eyes widened. "I remember that but you can't be thinking about using it!"

"Why not? Sirius will know what it would be like to be my first and then he won't be so threatened by my close relationship with Remus."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sam, he loves you. Why do you want to do this?"

She shrugged. "I thought it was a good idea. I love him, Lily. I just thought it would make him feel better about our relationship."

She sighed. "Ok, I can understand that but why do you need my help?"

Sam let out an excited gasp. "Does that mean you will help?" Lily laughed and nodded. "You're seventeen and can perform magic outside of school. I can't do that. I just need you to perform the charm on me. All you have to do is say the words and I will be a virgin again!"

Lily laughed. "Ok, I will do it!" Sam laughed and hugged her. "When should we do this?"

She thought for a moment. "Before the wedding." She sighed. "I just forgot one thing."

"What's that?"

"I don't remember if Lilac said if it would hurt like the first time did. Do you?"

She made a face. "I don't remember either. I think it might."

Sam cringed. "That's just great!"

"Are you changing your mind?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I just hope that it doesn't hurt like the first time."

Lily smiled. "Neither do I."

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They snuck downstairs and held their wedding clothes to them. James smiled at his sister. "Now, I know this was my idea and we pressured you into this but are you sure that you want to do this? Tell me now and, if the answer is no, we can tell Andy to call the whole thing off." He whispered in her ear.

Sam hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'm sure, James." He smiled. "I love you, Jimmybean."

His smile grew. "I love you too, Sammabelle."

Andromeda was waiting for them and smiled. "How is everyone doing? Are you excited about today?"

They smiled. "We're ready, Andy." Sirius said. They followed her upstairs and he stopped Sam before she walked into the room where Lily and she would change. He smiled and kissed her. "I've wanted to do that all morning." She smiled and blushed. "I love you, Sammy. I want you to know that I love you and that you make me so happy."

Sam's blush grew. "Sirius, I love you so much. You make me happy too."

He held her to him. "I can't believe we are doing this." He laughed. "I want to spend my life with you."

She smiled. "In a few hours, you will be stuck with me forever."

"I'll never be stuck with you, Samantha. I want to marry you. I want to be with you always. Are you sure you want to be with me? Do you want to marry me?"

"I want to be with you. I want to marry you. Are you sure?"

Sirius kissed her and she melted into him. "I'm sure about this. I never felt this way about anyone but you."

They kissed again but Andy interrupted them. "That's enough, you two! Save it for tonight!" They blushed. "Sam, Lily is waiting to help you get ready. Sirius, James is also waiting for you."

He gave Sam one last look and smiled. "I'll see you soon, Sammy."

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Lily and Sam were waiting in one of the vacant rooms in the justice of the peace's office. Sam was wearing a flowing white dress that she usually wore for special occasions during the summer and had her hair swept up. Lily, in gold dress robes, was putting white flowers in her hair. Sam's hands were clenched together. Lily faced her and they shared a smile. The two girls hugged. "Sam, you look beautiful. You make a wonderful bride."

Sam laughed. "I don't know about that. I'm nervous as hell!"

She held her hands. "It's going to be ok, Sammy. Sirius loves you. The two of you will make it work." Sam nodded. "Do you want me to do the charm now?"

She nodded. She closed her eyes when Lily took out her wand. She was about to begin but they were interrupted. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

They looked towards the door and saw James watching them. "It's a present for Sirius." Sam said.

James smiled. "What is this present exactly?"

He saw his sister blush while Lily laughed. "Lilac told us about this charm she found. She used it to make Adam believe that she was still a virgin. Sam overheard a part of Sirius' conversation with Remus and heard that he wished he was her first. She thought that this would help Sirius realize how strong their relationship was."

He laughed. "You aren't serious!" Sam glared at him. He laughed some more. "I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him this!"

Sam's eyes widened. "James, you can't tell him!"

"Why the hell not?"

She sighed. "I wanted it to be a surprise." He smiled. "You don't think I should do it, do you? It wouldn't be the same, would it? I was stupid to believe that it would actually work."

He sighed as she sat down in a nearby chair. He walked over and kneeled down in front of her. "You aren't stupid, Sammy. It's a sweet idea." She shrugged. "Why would you want to do this?"

"I wanted to give him something he always wanted. He wanted to be my first and I thought that it would make him feel closer to me."

James hugged her. "I think you should do it. This will show him how committed you are to him."

"Thank you, James." He nodded. "Is Remus here yet?"

He shook his head. "No, he isn't." Her face fell. "Don't worry, Sammy. He will be here." She nodded. "I have to go check on the groom."

She stared at him. "He's still here?"

"Of course he is! Sirius loves you! He wants to marry you." She smiled. He left and went into the next room. He saw Sirius struggling to get his tie straight and he laughed. "Do you need help, Padfoot?"

Sirius looked up and smiled. "I really do!" James helped him. "How's Sam?"

James shook his head and laughed. "She is just fine. You have no idea what she is planning to give you as a present!"

His eyes grew wide. "She got me something?"

He laughed. "In a way."

"What's that supposed to mean? Was I supposed to get her something?"

James smiled. "No, you weren't. And, before you ask, I promised not to tell you what your present is."

Sirius smirked. "Come on, Prongs! Tell me!" James rolled his eyes and told him. He was shocked. "S-She is really doing that for me?" He nodded. "Why would she?"

He patted him on the back. "Sam wants to show you what it would be like to be her first. She wants you to have what you always wanted." Sirius smiled. "Padfoot, don't tell her I told you. She would kick my ass!"

"Are you afraid of your little sister?"

He blushed and nodded. "I am. She can hit!" Sirius nodded in agreement. "Don't you dare tell her or anyone! I would never live it down!"

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Andromeda smiled and hugged Sirius. "Are you sure about this?"

Sirius kissed her cheek. "I'm sure, Andy. This is what I want. I just can't believe its happening. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

She laughed and slapped his arm. "Don't think that way! Why would you say that?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I-I may have done something."

"What did you do?"

"I can't tell you, Andy. You'll kick my ass."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "That may be true." He smiled and nodded. "Tell me what you _may have_ done." He pulled her into an empty room and put up a silencing charm. He took a deep breath and told her about what he said to Severus. Her eyes widened as she punched him in the arm. "Sirius Phineas Black, how stupid are you?"

Sirius winced and yelped when she kept hitting him. "Ow! Andy, stop it! You're hurting me!"

"You deserve it, you stupid git! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Andy, I made a mistake! I'm sorry! I didn't know he would try and hurt her!"

She gave him one last punch in the arm. "Well, he did! He could have killed her! This happened because you couldn't control your damn jealousy! Her parents want to send her away because of your actions! The only reason that this wedding is happening is because they want to send her away!"

He sighed. "I know that, Andy. That's why I'm doing this."

"You're only marrying her because you feel guilty?"

His eyes widened. "No, of course not! I love Sam! I want to marry her!"

She shook her head. "Sirius, I love you but sometimes you really test that. Wasn't it enough that you cheated on her and broke her heart? Wasn't it enough that she was sent away already? Are you only agreeing to marry her so that no one else will have her? That girl has been through enough! She has had to go through so much and she's still so young!"

He gave her a pained look. "Andy, I know that. I know that I've hurt her. I'm sorry for what I did. I apologized and she forgave me. Sam wants to be with me! She loves me, Andy!"

Andy groaned. "Yes, she does. She proved that by agreeing to marry you. I can't believe she forgave you for this."

"She doesn't know yet. I haven't told her yet."

She growled. "You haven't told her yet? Sirius, you have to tell her!"

"I know! I will!"

"Are you hiding anything else?"

Sirius smiled and she groaned. "I told her I broke up with Sarah."

"Did you?"

"No, I didn't. I haven't spoken to Sarah since the night of the ball."

She glared at him. "I could just hit you!" He gulped. "You have to tell her. Sam has a right to know. This isn't fair to her. She believes that you broke up with that slut and that the attack was her fault!"

He sighed. "Andy, I will tell her. I promise I will."

"You better tell her. If you don't, I will!"


	52. Chapter 51: Fools Rush In

Author's Note: Hello all! I just want to apologize for not updating sooner. Life is crazy right now. I hope you like this chapter. Just so you know...I've been writing a hell of a lot and I realized that this is going to be one long ass story. I'm sorry. A lot of ideas keep popping into my head and they are hard to ignore when they are beneficial to the story. I hope you don't mind. Well, I'll stop wasting your time. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 51: Fools Rush In.

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Andromeda walked into the room and smiled when she saw Lily and Sam hugging. They saw her and smiled. "How are you two doing?"

Lily smiled. "We are doing just fine." She nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm ok. I just wanted to check on the bride."

Sam looked pale. "I'm alright. I'm just a little nervous." She looked at Lily. "Do you think it worked?"

Andromeda looked confused as Lily laughed and nodded. "It worked, Sam. Don't worry about it."

"Lily, can I speak to Sam in private?" Lily nodded and left. She looked at Sam and sighed. "What were you two talking about?" Sam blushed and told her. Her eyes widened. "You really did that for him?" Sam smiled and nodded. "Do you really believe that he deserves that? Is he worth all this trouble?"

She gave her a weird look. "He is worth it. I love him and want to give him this. It's something he always wanted and I want to make him happy."

She hugged her tightly. "Sammy, you already make him happy. You don't need to do this for him."

"Andromeda, why are you saying that? Don't you want him to be happy?"

"Of course I do. I'm happy that he has someone as forgiving as you." Sam smiled. "Sam, you do love him, right? Would you forgive him anything?"

Sam stared at her like she was crazy. "Andy, I love Sirius very much. Are you ok?" Andy sighed. Sam's face fell. "Oh no! Has he changed his mind? Does he not want to marry me anymore?"

Andy shook her head. "No, that's not it at all! He loves you. He wants to marry you. He is so excited. I…uh…just wanted to make sure that you still wanted to marry him."

She let out a sigh of relief. "You scared me for a minute. I still want to marry him. You don't have to worry about that."

"Would you forgive him anything?"

She shrugged. "I guess so. It depends on what he did. If he cheated on me again, he knows that I would leave him in a heartbeat."

She nodded. "That's good to know. He won't do that again. He felt so guilty about doing that to you."

"I know." She hugged her. "We are going to be fine. We promised to be honest with one another and work through whatever problems come our way."

Andy shifted uncomfortably. "He said he would be honest?" Sam nodded. "I hope, for his sake, that he keeps his promise."

"He will. He has told me that he regretted leaving me and would do anything to make sure I stay with him."

She sighed. "He doesn't deserve you, Sammy."

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Mr. Meadows, the justice of the peace, stood by the window next to Sirius and Andy. Lily stood off to the side and held Sam's camera in her hands. Andy yanked on Sirius' arm and he winced. "We need to talk." Andy muttered in his ear. 

Sirius looked at her. "Do we have to do it right now? It's about to start."

She gave him a look and he sighed. They excused themselves and went into the next room. She put up a silencing charm and glared at him. "Sirius, you have to tell her."

He sighed. "I know, Andy. I already said I would."

She gave him a pleading look. "You have to tell her before the wedding." He shook his head. "Sirius, don't you think it will be worse if you wait to tell her until after you're married? If you tell her now, you stand a good chance to keep her. If you wait until after the wedding, you will lose her for good."

"Andy, I know Sam. No matter when I tell her she will be upset. What will telling her now change?"

"It will change everything! You are taking away her freedom. You are taking away her right to choose to be with you!"

He groaned. "What the bloody hell are you talking about? I'm not taking anything away from her."

Andy sighed. "Yes, you are! Sirius, you are taking away her freedom by getting married. After today, she will be yours forever." He smiled. "You're marrying her under false pretenses. That's not fair to her. Yes, she will be upset and she will say things she doesn't really mean but if you marry her without telling her the truth, you are taking away her chance to truly choose you." He shook his head. "You believe you two are meant to be, right?" He nodded. "Then why are you scared to tell her? Why can't you trust her love for you? She will and has forgiven you anything! Why do you have to do it this way?"

Sirius looked down at the ground. "This is my last chance with her. She told me so. Sam will leave me if I tell her before. I can't lose her again. I can't be without her again, Andy. I will tell her soon enough. I promise I will. You just have to trust me."

"I want to trust you. I really do, Sirius. I'm just scared for you. I don't want you to get hurt and I don't want Sam to get hurt. That's what's going to happen if you wait to tell her the truth."

"Andy, don't worry so much. When I tell her, she will be upset but she won't be able to leave. It will take her a bit of time to forgive me but she won't be able to leave this time." She sighed in defeat. "It will be ok, Andy. She will forgive me this. She forgave me everything else, why wouldn't she forgive me this?"

Andy shook her head. "She won't forgive you this time because your actions almost got her killed. Your actions almost got Michael killed. Sam is very forgiving when it comes to you but I don't think she will forgive you this time. The other times you have hurt her pale in comparison to this."

"Stop worrying so much! Everything will be fine!"

"No, it won't! She will leave you, Sirius! You will be heartbroken when she does and I don't want that! I love you, Sirius. I don't want you to be sad anymore."

He hugged her and sighed. "I'm not sad anymore, Andy. I have her back now. She will be with me forever now. No matter what, she will always be with me. Sam loves me and knows that we are meant to be together. She has said so herself so many times. I was just too stupid to realize it was true until it was almost too late. Don't worry anymore, Andy. I know what I'm doing."

"I hope you're right about this."

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James stood next to his sister and waited for the wedding to start. He smiled when she started to fidget and placed a hand on hers. Sam looked at him and smiled. "James?" 

"What?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Am I making a mistake, Jimmybean?" He gave her a curious look. "Am I making a mistake by getting married? I'm only sixteen! There is so much that I haven't experienced. There is so much that I haven't done. I'm giving up so much by marrying Sirius. Am I making a mistake? Should I just go to St. Mungo's and be done with it? Should I call this off? What should I do, Jimmybean? I never thought I'd do something this crazy before. I need my big brother's advice now more than ever."

He smiled and hugged her. "I don't know what to tell you, Sammabelle." She sighed. "I know that you and Sirius love each other very much and are meant to be together. You know that too. This may seem crazy but it makes sense for the two of you. You two have always been this way." She shrugged. "I don't want you to be sent away. Neither does Lily and Sirius. You don't need to be sent away. You are fine just the way you are." She shrugged again. "I know it may seem that you are giving up a lot to be with him but think about all the things you are gaining by marrying him. You will have the love of your life with you forever. Sirius will do anything to make you happy. He was an ass before but he knows that you are the only one for him now."

"What if he hurts me again? What if he lies to me again? What if he leaves me again? What if he cheats on me again?"

"Sammy, he loves you. I can't promise that he won't hurt you or lie to you. He's human and we make mistakes but I can promise that he will never leave or cheat on you." She nodded. "I know you are scared to trust him because of what happened before but I've talked with him. He knows for a fact that he loves you. He was scared before because he never experienced someone loving him as much as you do. He isn't scared anymore."

"I know. He told me so."

"I know that with the way he broke up with you, you have limitations on your heart now. Remus and Sirius broke your heart and shook your faith but it's time to move on from that now. Sam, it's time to let him in again. It's time to let yourself love him with everything you've got again. This is right. I wouldn't have suggested this plan if I didn't think it was right. You should marry him despite your fears and doubts."

She relaxed and hugged him. "Thank you, Jimmybean. I needed to hear that."

James smiled and kissed her cheek. "That's what I'm here for, Sammabelle. I'll always be here for you." They shared a smile and took a deep breath when the doors opened.

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Sirius looked up from the floor when the doors opened and his breath caught in his throat when he saw her. She looked like an angel in her white flowing dress. The flowers in her hair made it look like a halo hung above her head. A smile was plastered on his face and grew into a dopey grin as she came closer to him. Her blush made it appear that she was glowing. "She's beautiful." He whispered. 

Andromeda smiled at him. "Yes, she is." She looked at her cousin and sighed. "She is all yours now, Sirius."

James patted him on the back and smiled. "Who gives away this woman?" Mr. Meadows asked.

He stared at the bald man in front of him and held in a laugh. "I do." He kissed her cheek and she smiled at him. "It's going to be ok, Sammy."

Sam smiled and kissed his cheek. "I know, James. Thank you for giving me away." He winked at her. She turned and looked at Sirius. He took her hands and she blushed. She was amazed by how handsome he looked in his crimson shirt and black tie and pants. His eyes were shining so bright that she thought she would be blinded by them. "I love you." She mouthed to him.

He smiled. "I love you too."

Mr. Meadows began the ceremony. It seemed to fly by. "Is there anyone who can show just cause that these two should not be married?"

Andromeda pretended not to hear that part. The doors opened and everyone looked over. Remus shut the door and blushed when he noticed everyone was staring at him. "Sorry I'm late. I got lost." He saw Sam smiling at him and couldn't help but smile back. "Please, continue the ceremony. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's alright, Remus." Lily said. "Come and stand with us."

Sam winked at him when he took a place next to James and Lily. "You may continue, sir."

He smiled at her and resumed the ceremony. "Do you Sirius Phineas take Samantha Eu-"

"You don't have to say my middle name!" Sam exclaimed.

Sirius and James stifled their laughter while the others looked confused. "As you wish, Samantha." Mr. Meadows said with a smile. "Do you Sirius Phineas take _Samantha_ to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "I do. I really do!"

They laughed. "Do you Samantha take Sirius Phineas to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

Sam looked past Sirius when she saw something move in the corner of the room. She thought it was odd that she saw a pair of shoes moving around. "Sam?" She looked at Lily and notice everyone was staring at her. "You have to answer the question now, Sammy."

She looked at Mr. Meadows and blushed. "I'm sorry, sir. Can you repeat the question?"

He laughed. "Do you Samantha take Sirius Phineas as your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

She smiled when she saw how nervous Sirius looked. "I do. I really do."

Sirius sighed in relief. "You may kiss the bride." Mr. Meadows said. Sirius pulled Sam to him and kissed her deeply. The others cheered. "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black."

They continued to kiss but were interrupted when James pulled Sam away from Sirius and hugged her. Lily hugged Sirius and laughed. "I can't believe you two actually went through with it!" She exclaimed. He smiled and laughed in response. "Why didn't you use the true love rings?"

He shrugged. "Sam wanted to wait for the wedding we will have when she is done with school. She wanted her parents to be there when we first put them on."

Lily walked over to Sam and Remus. "How are you doing, Mrs. Black?" Lily asked.

Sam laughed. "I'm doing just fine. I can't believe I'm married!" Lily laughed. Sam turned to Remus and hugged him. "Thank you for coming, Hero. It really means a lot to have you here with us."

Remus smiled and kissed her cheek. "I promised you that I would come. I'm just sorry I was late. I took a wrong turn."

She smiled and held him close to her. "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're here."

They were holding onto each other for dear life. "You make a beautiful bride, Sammy." He whispered in her ear. "I always knew you would."

She blushed and kissed his cheek. "You better not be trying to grope my wife, Moony."

They separated and Sam giggled. "'Your wife'! That sounds so weird!"

Sirius laughed and kissed her. "Yes, it does." She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe we actually did it!"

"Do you regret it?"

"No, I don't. Do you regret it?"

Sam pretended to think about it and laughed when he pouted. "No, I don't."

"Hey you two!" They smiled at Andromeda. "Let's go back to my house for your brunch reception."

She hugged them. "I can't wait!" Sam said. "Then after that, the hard part comes."

Sirius gave her a curious look. "What are you talking about?"

"We have to tell my parents about what we did." Everyone sighed in response.

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They entered the living room and smiled when they didn't see their parents. They hugged each other and smiled. "Where have you been?" They jumped apart and saw Mrs. Potter's angry face. Sirius clutched Sam's hand while Lily hid behind James and Remus. "I wake up and you're all gone! Where the hell have you been?" 

Mr. Potter walked in from the kitchen and looked at the kids. "What's going on?"

Mrs. Potter glared at the children. "They have been missing all day and have just returned!"

"Hello Remus. How are you?" Mr. Potter asked while avoiding the glare his wife was giving him.

Remus gave him a nervous smile. "I-I'm g-good, sir."

Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes. "Remus, it is very good to see you." He nodded. "Now, tell me, where have you been?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Mama, Daddy, we have something important to tell you. Now, I know you will be upset when we tell you but it really is a good thing in the long run."

Mr. Potter smiled. "Just tell us, Sammy. It can't be that bad."

Sirius tightened his hold on her hand. "We…we…uh…" He was terrified to tell them.

James rolled his eyes. "For Merlin's sake, just tell them!"

Sam glared at him. "Sirius and I…gotmarriedtoday."

Their eyes widened. "What did you just say, Samantha?" Mrs. Potter yelled.

She gulped and Sirius tried to push her behind him but she wouldn't let him. "Baby, it's ok." He nodded. "You heard what I said, Mama. Sirius and I got married today."

Mrs. Potter was fuming. "That's impossible! You are only sixteen years old! It can't possibly be legal!"

Sirius put a protective arm around Sam's shoulders. "We found a loop hole in one of the laws. Our marriage is legal."

She shook her head. "Samantha, how could you? The two of you are smarter than this!"

Sam sighed. "We love each other, Mama! Plus, we didn't want to be apart!"

"You only got married so we wouldn't send you away?" Mr. Potter asked in a small voice while glaring at his wife.

She looked down at the ground and her eyes widened when she saw her father's shoes. She looked at him closely. He noticed this and looked away quickly. "That was one of the major reasons, Daddy. But we do love each other! This is right!"

Mrs. Potter sneered at Sirius. "This is all your fault! If she never met you this wouldn't have happened!"

James rolled his eyes. "It's not his fault! It was my idea for them to get married. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine! We had to convince Sam to go through with it. She didn't want to deceive you! She wanted Dad to give her away but we changed her mind. She doesn't want to leave us and you forced us to do this! If you would have just listened to us instead of telling her what to do then they would have waited!"

Her eyes widened. "This was your idea, James?" He nodded and smiled with pride. "You're grounded, young man!"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not! I'm seventeen and you can't ground me! I'll just move in with Sirius and Sam!"

Lily groaned. "James, we didn't tell them about that yet."

"What are you talking about? They live here with us!" Mr. Potter grumbled.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "We found an apartment in Diagon Alley yesterday."

"I can't believe this! I really can't believe this! How stupid can you all be? Lily, Remus, how could you let them go through with this?" Mrs. Potter grumbled.

They shrugged. "We agreed with James' idea." Remus muttered.

Sam smiled at him. Lily sighed. "They didn't want to be apart. Now, they won't be."

Sam looked at her father. "Daddy, you haven't really said anything."

He shrugged. "What is there to say?"

"Harold, say something! Your daughter and son have just thrown their lives away!"

"No, we didn't!" Sirius exclaimed. "Mum, we love each other. This is right for us. We didn't use the true love rings because we wanted to get married again with you there and we wanted you to see us put them on for the first time. Sam wants Dad to give her away when we get married again after she finishes school."

Mr. Potter sighed. "I can't deal with this right now."

Sam watched her father walk into the kitchen and sighed. "I better go talk to him."

Sirius nodded. "I'll go with you."

She shook her head. "No, I have to talk to him alone." He gave her a questioning look. "It's alright. Don't worry, Baby." She walked into the kitchen and sighed when she saw her father sitting in a chair facing the window. "Hi Daddy."

He sighed. "Sam, not now."

Sam walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind. "Who's my favorite Daddy?" She whispered.

"Not now, Samantha."

"Who's my favorite Daddy?"

Mr. Potter let out a small smile. "I am."

She smiled. "That's right! Now, who will I love no matter what?"

"Me."

"That's good, Daddy! Who will always be the most important man in my life?"

"Sirius."

She laughed. "No, that's not right. Guess again."

"Is it James?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed again. "Daddy, that's not right! One more time!"

He laughed. "Is it me?"

Sam tightened her hold on him and laughed. "That's right!" She kissed his cheek. "Daddy, I love you more than life itself. No matter what, you will always be the most important man in my life." He nodded. "Just because I'm married now doesn't change that. Sirius could never take your place. Neither could James. As much as I loved James giving me away, I wanted you to be the one to do that."

Mr. Potter took her hands in his and sat her down on his lap. She smiled when he kissed her forehead. "I really wanted to give you away. I wish I could have."

"You still can! Sirius and I plan to get married again after I'm done with school and I want you to give me away."

He smiled. "Do you really mean that, sweetheart?"

She rested her head on his shoulder and nodded. "Yes, I do. I always pictured you giving me away. I really wish you did even though James was a great substitute." He held her closer. "I know you were there, Daddy."

He gulped. "What was that, Sammy?"

Sam looked him in the eye and smiled. "I saw your shoes while I was saying my vows." He looked away from her. "You used the invisibility cloak that you gave James, didn't you?"

"Samantha-"

"You gave Andromeda your permission for us to get married." He sighed. "Why did you do that if you wanted to send me away?"

Mr. Potter had tears in his eyes when he looked at his daughter. "You looked like an angel." She smiled. "You made a beautiful bride, Sammy."

A tear slipped down her cheek. "Thank you, Daddy." He kissed her cheek. "Why did you do that if you wanted to send me away?"

He held her face in his hands. "Get one thing straight, Samantha; I never wanted to send you away. You know how your mother gets. I just went along with her until she calmed down but Sirius walked in while we were talking and she lost her temper. I wanted to help you two out and show your mother how desperate you were to get out of going." He kissed her forehead. "When you said you hated me, it broke my heart. I never want you to hate me."

"I could never really hate you, Daddy. I just said that because I was upset."

"I know that, Baby. It just hurt."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know." Mr. Potter hugged her. "I wanted to help."

Sam kissed his cheek. "Does that mean you accept my marriage to Sirius?"

He laughed. "Of course I do! I love Sirius like a son. I know the two of you belong together. I wouldn't have helped if I didn't believe in you two. I know you two will make it work."

"Thank you, Daddy."

"Please, just don't tell your mother. She would kill me if she found out."

She laughed. "I promise I won't tell anyone. It will be our little secret."

Mr. Potter nodded. "Thank you, sweetheart. Now, let's go find that husband of yours and get him away from your mother's wrath."

They stood up and walked hand in hand into the living room. They held in their laughter when they saw Sirius sitting in the fetal position while Mrs. Potter hit him with the morning paper. James, Lily, and Remus kept trying to stop her but she would just hit them as well. "How could you marry her? Why did you have to marry her? It was only for a month! You could have waited to get married!"

Sirius groaned when she hit him right on the head. "Mum, stop it! I love her! It was the only way!"

Mr. Potter walked over to her and ducked when she tried to hit him. "Evelyn, leave the boy alone! They are married now! We just have to learn to accept it!"

Mrs. Potter threw the paper down and hit Sirius on the head when he relaxed. "They are getting an annulment!"

"No, we aren't!" Sam exclaimed. "Mama, I know you are upset but that won't change anything. Sirius and I are married now. Please, accept this, Mama."

She sighed. "This can't be happening. You are too young."

"You were only a year older than me when you married Daddy."

"But we had jobs and we were finished with school! You have another year left at Hogwarts. How can you make it work if you are away at school?"

Sirius cleared his throat and winced when Mrs. Potter glared at him. "We can make it work, Mum. It will be hard but we will make it work."

Mrs. Potter shook her head. "I don't want you to be hurt again, Sammy."

Sam smiled. "He won't hurt me again. I won't let him hurt me again. You don't have to worry, Mama. We will take care of each other."

She nodded before she turned back to Sirius and began hitting him again. "If you hurt her again, I will hex you!" Sirius curled back into the fetal position. "If you cheat on her again, I will hex your balls right off!"

The others laughed. "Sam already threatened him with that, Mum." James said.

"Sirius loves his balls too much to make that mistake again." Remus said.

Sirius winced when Mrs. Potter hit him again before rolling his eyes. "Thanks for the support, Moony."

Mr. Potter smiled and helped Sirius get away from Mrs. Potter. He hugged him. "Welcome to the family, son." Sirius smiled. "Just don't hurt her again. I trust you with my little girl, ok?"

He nodded. "I know, Dad. You don't have to worry. I love her. I will take care of her."

He smiled. "Why don't you kids go upstairs and rest up? Come down a little later and we will celebrate your marriage and the New Year." The kids smiled and went upstairs. He turned to his wife. "So, what do you think?"

Mrs. Potter sighed. "I don't know what to think. They are just so young. How can they make it work?"

"They will find a way. They love each other, Evelyn."

She shook her head. "I give it a day and a half before he screws it up again."

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Sirius kissed the back of Sam's neck after he helped put on her necklace. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. "You look beautiful tonight, Mrs. Black." 

Sam laughed. "That sounds weird. It will take a lot of getting used to."

He smiled. "You better get used to it. You are a married woman now."

She kissed him. "Yes, I know." She smiled. "Now, Mr. Black, how does your wife look?"

Sirius stared at her as she took a step back and turned around slowly. He looked her up and down in her short black dress. "You look good enough to eat, Sammy." She blushed. "Now, Mrs. Black, how does your husband look?"

Sam laughed when he spun around. He wore the same outfit that he wore to the wedding minus the tie. "You look as handsome as ever."

He brought her closer to him and kissed her. "I love you, Samantha."

"I love you too, Sirius."

"Is it wrong for me to say that I can't wait for tonight?"

She blushed. "No, it's not. I can't wait either." He began kissing her neck. "Sirius, we have to stop. What if someone walks in?"

He groaned. "Ok, let's go downstairs. I'm sure everyone is waiting for us."

They walked downstairs hand in hand. James glared at them. "What the bloody hell took so long? You have delayed dinner long enough!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mate, would you calm down? _My wife_ had to finish getting ready and I had to help _my wife_ with her necklace."

James laughed. "That sounds so weird. _Your wife_ had to get ready."

Lily shook her head in disbelief when Sirius and James started to wrestle. She walked over to Sam and they shared a look. "These are the ones we love. I'm kind of ashamed of our judgment right now."

Sam nodded. "How do you think I feel? I'm married to one of them and related to the other genius."

She laughed. "Ok, you win."

Sirius picked up Sam and threw her over his shoulder as James did the same with Lily. "Put us down!" Sam laughed.

James smirked at Sirius. "Do you hear something, Padfoot?"

"James, you better put me down!"

Sirius returned his smirk. "Why, no, I don't, Prongs. I think it's just the wind."

Sam squirmed around. "It's the wind, is it? Can the wind kick you in the happy area and make you scream like a girl?"

His eyes widened. "Ok, I heard that." He set Sam down and smiled. "I love you." She rolled her eyes.

James started bouncing around and laughing as Lily squirmed. "I'll kick you in the happy area too if you don't put me down, James!"

He set her down and gave her a wide smile. "I love you, Lily."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. For some reason, I love you too."

They sat down at the dinner table, Sirius made sure he was as far away from Mrs. Potter as possible, and began their meal. Mrs. Potter would glare at Sirius whenever he would kiss Sam, hold her hand, speak, or even breathe. Mr. Potter kept giving her warning looks to stop her from saying anything. He told her that if she didn't threaten them then they wouldn't have run off and gotten married. He said it could have been worse. They could have been pregnant and needed to get married because of that instead of the reason they did. Mr. Potter watched his family and smiled to himself. Despite his wife's anger, they were all happy. They were all healthy and happy. "Come on, Sam! Eat faster! The fireworks are about to start!" James grumbled.

Sam rolled her eyes as she slowly ate her potatoes. "You really need to make up your mind, Jimmybean. You were rushing us so you could eat and now, you are rushing to eat so you can see the fireworks. Which one do you want?"

He glared at her. "I wanted to eat and I did. Now, I want to see the fireworks! Hurry up and eat!"

"You're such a prat!" She groaned.

"You are a nag!" He replied.

"You scream like a girl!"

He turned red in the face. "Scarlet woman!"

"Ponce!"

"You are such a brat!"

"You are a moronic git!"

Sirius and Lily were turning red while laughing. Mr. and Mrs. Potter rolled their eyes. No matter how old they were, they still could act like such children when they were together. "Let's go watch the fireworks." Mrs. Potter suggested. She laughed when James smiled smugly and Sam rolled her eyes. "You can finish eating later, Sammy."

They put on their cloaks and went into the backyard. Sirius wrapped his arms around Sam and held her close to him when she shivered. "Are you cold, Sammy?"

Mrs. Potter glared at him. "It's only below zero out here! Of course she is cold and it doesn't help that she is wearing a short dress."

He gulped in response. Mr. Potter put a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Evelyn, can you do us all a favor?" She looked at him. "Be quiet. Say only nice things. No matter what you say, it won't change the fact that they are married. It would just be nice if you kept the mean things to yourself."

She sneered at her husband but remained silent. Sam smiled at Sirius. "Don't worry, Sirius. She will come around eventually."

Sirius kissed her. "I know. She is just really scary right now." She laughed in response.

Lily rested her head on James' shoulder and sighed in content when he held her to him. "I didn't know about the fireworks."

James kissed the top of her head. "They started doing it when I was about six. They do them every year now."

"Who started it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know specifically but I do know that it is a group of local muggles."

"What time is it? They should be starting soon." Mr. Potter said.

As soon as he finished his sentence a streak of green sparkles lit the sky. Sirius tightened his grip on Sam when she started shaking. Sam wasn't mystified by the beautiful lights as she usually was since she was five but she was completely terrified. Flashes of the attack and Severus yelling rang in her ears. She paled when she closed her eyes and saw his angry face and his wand pointed at her. Sirius felt her shaking getting worse and saw how she grew pale. The others were staring at the fireworks in wonderment but all he noticed was her. Their faces lit up with each burst of light. "Sammy?"

Sam turned around in his arms and he sighed when he saw the terrified look in her eyes. She was reliving the attack. It was the burst of greens and reds and the loud banging noises that made her think about that night. It pained his heart when he saw the haunted look in her eyes. "Why?" She whispered.

He looked at her oddly. "Why what, Sammy?"

"Why…why did it happen, Sirius? Why did he attack me? What did I do to make him hate me so much?"

He paled at her questions. "I…Sammy-"

She shook her head and sighed as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I don't know why I'm even asking you. It's not like you have the answers anyway." He bit the inside of his cheek. "I just want to know why. I need to know why but I won't ever know. Hopefully, I will never see him again. The only downside to that is that I won't find out the reason."

Sirius held her as she continued to shake. He stroked her hair as she silently wept. His stomach was tied in knots just as it always was whenever she had a terrible nightmare about the attack and whenever he caused her pain. "Sammy, are you ok?"

They looked away from each other and saw the others staring at her. She let out a small smile. "I'm fine, Daddy."

Mr. Potter eyed his daughter closely. "Are you sure? You look very upset."

Sam shrugged. "I'm fine." She sighed. "I'm a little tired. I think I'll go to bed." She gave Sirius a kiss. "Goodnight everyone. Happy New Year."

He stared after his wife and sighed when the door shut. "The attack." He mumbled.

"What about it?" Mrs. Potter asked.

Sirius stared at her. "The fireworks made her think of the attack." They sighed. "I'm going to go check on her and make sure she is ok."

When he was gone, Mr. Potter turned to his wife. "Pretending it hasn't happened, has she?" She glared at him.

James looked at Lily and smiled. "I'm glad they are gone."

Lily looked at him in shock. "Why?"

He laughed. "It was a little weird for me to be on a triple date with two married couples." Lily smiled. "Especially when those two married couples are my parents and my little sister and best friend."

"James, you are very lucky that I love you."

He nodded. "I know. Why do you say that?"

She laughed. "Because I'm not sure any other woman could put up with how your mind really works." James laughed in response.


	53. Chapter 52: Innocence

Author's Note: Sorry for the very long delay. Life has been really busy. I promise to try to update more often. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 51: Innocence.

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Sirius walked into their room and smiled when Sam looked away from the window and at him. "You didn't have to come after me, you know."

He walked over to her and hugged her. "It's almost midnight. It's a bad start to the New Year if you don't kiss the one you love." She smiled. "Plus, you were upset and I couldn't just leave you by yourself. I'd be a terrible husband if, on the first night, I had you upset."

Sam kissed him. "Thank you for coming, Sirius." He smiled. "I highly doubt that you could ever be a bad husband."

He laughed. "I was a terrible boyfriend."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "At first, you really were but then you were you again and that made it better. You'll be a great husband to me."

Sirius ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy. I just want you to be ok again."

"I'm fine now that you are here with me." She kissed him again. "I love you so much."

She started to unbutton his shirt but he stopped her. "Sammy, we don't have to do this tonight. If you are upset then we should wait to be together."

Sam nodded. "I'm not upset anymore, Sirius." He nodded. "I want to be with you. I want our wedding night to be special."

Sirius smiled and kissed her. "Are you sure?" She nodded. "If you are completely sure…"

"I am! I want to be with you. I want tonight to be special for us."

"It will be special, Sammy. I promise, tonight will be special." He started to play with the straps of her dress. "Now, where were we?"

Sam held in a laugh. "Not so fast, Black."

His hands stopped moving. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Nothing is wrong. I just have a little surprise for you." He smiled eagerly. "Stay right here while I get ready."

Sirius winked at her. "Sammy?" She turned around. "I love you."

Sam smiled and his heart stuttered. "I love you too." She grabbed a few things and opened the door. "I really do love you, Sirius." Sirius smiled as she left.

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He sat down on their bed and waited for her to return from changing in the bathroom. His hands started to sweat in anticipation. He almost laughed at himself. He didn't understand why he was so nervous. He had had sex before. Ok, he had had a lot of sex before. He had had sex with her before but it was different this time. Tonight was their first time as man and wife. 

He didn't know what to do with himself. He took a deep breath and striped down to his boxers. He started to pace and wondered what the hell was taking her so long. He sat back down on the bed and continued to wait. He didn't hear the door open and jumped when he looked up and saw her standing in front of him.

She stood in front of him and gave him a nervous smile. Her hands were clenched together as she watched him watch her.

He just gaped at her. She was standing before him in a snow white silk and lace nightgown that reached her ankles. The thin straps of her nightgown slipped down her arms and his fingers put them back in place. He saw her trembling hands and held them in his own. He glided his thumb over her bottom lip before he kissed her. The hair that curled around her bare arms was pushed away when he kissed her with a little more force. "You look so beautiful." He whispered against her neck before kissing her just above her collarbone.

His hand cupped and massaged her breast while the other hand worked its way up the nightgown. She put a hand on his arm. "Wait."

He froze. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "I'm fine."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter."

"Then why did you stop me?"

Sam sat down on the bed next to him and took a deep breath. She looked at him closely before smiling. "Do you like my nightgown?"

Sirius blinked. "I'm sorry?"

She bit her lip and it took everything in him not to kiss her at that moment. "I asked if you liked my nightgown. Do you like it?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I do. It's very beautiful." She smiled in response. "So, let me get this straight," She looked at him in curiosity. "You stopped us to talk about your nightgown?" She shook her head and shrugged. He sighed. "It is very beautiful. Where did you get it?"

Sam smiled. "Lily and Andy got it for me yesterday while we went to talk to Remus. They wanted me to have something special for tonight."

Sirius smiled and kissed her cheek. "That was very nice of them." She nodded. When he tried to kiss her, she moved her head away. "What is it? What's the matter?"

"I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I did something."

"What did you do?"

"So, you really like my nightgown?"

He groaned. "Samantha, just talk to me!" She gulped. "Did you do a bad thing?" She shrugged. "Did you…cheat on me?" She gasped and shook her head aggressively. He let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Baby, whatever it is, you can tell me. You have me to talk to and to tell your problems, thoughts, dreams, desires, and whatever else you need to talk about to. Just tell me what you did."

Sam took a deep breath. "Lilac-"

He put up a hand to stop her from finishing her sentence. "Are you _trying_ to put me out of the mood?" She looked at him curiously. "Mentioning Lilac, at anytime, will guarantee me to be put out of the mood for a _long_ time."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You are so mean!" He laughed and shrugged. "I was going to tell you that, as you know, Lilac lost her virginity to Michael."

Sirius groaned and put a hand on his stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick!"

She hit his arm playfully and laughed again. "Would you stop?" He smiled and nodded. "As I was saying, Lilac lost her virginity to Michael and when she started going out with Adam, she wished she waited to be with him instead of rushing into things with Michael. So, she found a charm to make her a virgin again."

He held in a smile. He knew what she was going to say next but decided to play dumb. He didn't want to ruin her surprise and he didn't want James to be beaten up by his little sister. James would never live it down and Sirius would do everything in his power to make sure he never forgot. "What does this have to do with what you did?"

She took a deep breath. "IhadLilyperformthecharmonme."

"I'm sorry; I seemed to have missed that. Why don't you try speaking slowly and separating your words?"

She let out a nervous laugh. "I had Lily perform the charm on me."

His eyes widened. "You did what?" She blushed. "Why would you want to do something like that?"

"I-I heard a part of your conversation with Remus." He nodded slowly. He didn't know that part. "I know how you wish that you were my first. I always thought you were going to be my first but you weren't. Remus was." Sirius held in a sneer. "I did this because I wanted to give you the one thing you always wanted but never got. I wanted to show you what it would have been like if things worked out differently three years ago. I want you to know what it would have been like to my first."

Sirius held her hands in his and smiled at how perfectly they fit together. "Sammy, why?"

She kissed him. "I love you, Sirius. I wanted to do this for you." He kissed her back. "There's one thing that I'm not sure about though."

"What's that?"

She took a deep breath. "I don't remember if Lilac said if it would hurt like the first time or not."

He nodded as he wrapped an arm around her. "That does present a problem."

"It doesn't have to be, does it?"

Sirius smiled and kissed her temple. "It's not a problem for me. I'm just worried about hurting you. I want you to be ok, that's all."

Sam smiled. "I will be fine. I know you will be gentle. I trust you, Sirius. I'll be ok if you go slowly."

He stood up and kneeled down in front of her. He caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead. "I promise, no matter what, I'll go slow and be gentle. You don't have to worry about that."

She smiled again before laughing. "How do we start?"

Sirius laughed. "I don't know really. It's been a while since I've been with a virgin."

She nodded. "It's been a while since I've been one."

He kissed her lips. "We will start off slow and you will stop me if you are in any pain." She nodded again. "Shall we begin?" He said with a nervous laugh.

She giggled. "Yes, we shall."

He made her lie down on their bed and lay down on top of her. He kissed her lips slowly before sucking on her bottom lip. He planted light kisses along her jaw line and trailed down to the base of her neck. Sirius slid the straps of her nightgown down her arms as he nibbled on her collarbone. She laughed. He looked up and smiled. "Are you alright?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "I'm fine. That just tickled."

Sirius smirked evilly and her eyes widened. She knew what was coming. "That tickled, did it?"

"Sirius, don't do it."

His smile turned angelic but she knew better. "I'm not going to do anything, love." She rolled her eyes. He laughed. "Well, that's a lie." She eyed him cautiously. "I have to do it." She shook her head eagerly. "Oh, but I do, Sammy. It has to happen." She groaned. "I'm going to have to tickle you. It's the only way."

Sirius started tickling her ribs and laughed when she started to squirm around and let out a loud giggle. His fingers traveled down to behind her knees and she started gasping for air. "No, you have to stop, Sirius!" She gasped. "Please, stop it! You know I'm very ticklish!"

He smiled and his face looked down right evil. "Yes, I know you are. That's why I'm doing it."

They rolled around on the bed and Sirius continued to tickle her. Sam finally got the upper hand and pinned him to their bed. She grabbed a hold of his wrists and held them above his head. "Are you going to stop now?"

He stared at her closely and smiled. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

She blushed before rolling her eyes. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Black."

He smirked. "It's gotten me to a few places, Black."

"Do you promise to stop?"

"No, I don't."

She groaned. "Why must you tickle me?"

Sirius tried to free his wrists but she tightened her grip. "Are you as nervous as you were before?" She shook her head slowly. "See, it was just a distraction. We were nervous and now, we aren't."

Sam smiled and kissed him. "You continue to surprise me." She let him go. "But, please, no more tickling me."

He put his hands behind her head and brought her face to his. "No more tickling." He started kissing the side of her neck just under her ear. "I love you, Sammy."

She tangled her hands in his hair as his kissing became more eager. "I love you, Sirius."

He pulled her nightgown over her head and pushed it to the side. Her breath quickened as his hands roamed her body. He groaned when her hands made their way down inside his boxers. He rolled over and grinded into her. She removed his boxers and wrapped a leg around his back. He trailed his tongue down her throat to her breasts. He nipped at the soft skin while his hands traveled to her hips. He nibbled on her stomach and she laughed. He started biting her on her hip and she let out a mix between a gasp and a giggle. His hands massaged her inner thighs and she began to pant. He started kissing up her body and looked at her in the eye. "Are you ready, Baby?" She nodded quickly. "I have to hear you say it, Sammy. I need to hear it."

She nodded again. "I'm ready, Sirius."

He kissed her as he opened her legs and positioned himself between them. He sucked on her neck as he entered her slowly. "I love you. I love you, Sammy."

She let out a strangled sob as she felt the familiar pain. Tears welded up in her eyes and she was grateful that he kept his promise of going slow. "I-I…l-love you too, Sirius." He pushed into her further and she groaned in pain. "Sirius, you have to stop!"

He stilled in an instant. "Was I hurting you?"

"Yes, it hurt. I-I just need a moment."

He rested his body on hers and waited for her to be ready. He nuzzled her cheek with his. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She smiled and gave him a kiss when he wiped away the tears that escaped her eyes. "I know, Baby. It's not your fault." He nodded. "I love you, Sirius."

He sucked on her bottom lip and bit it. "I love you too, Sammy." He rested his head on her chest and smiled when he heard her heart racing. "Did you know that your heart is racing?"

She laughed. "Yes, I know. You make my heart race faster than anything before."

His body shook as he laughed. "You're so full of it!"

"No, I'm not! You've had this effect on me since I was ten and it's only gotten worse since I've gotten older."

He smiled. "Are you being serious?"

"I can't be Sirius. You are Sirius. But I can be Sirius' wife."

He rolled his eyes. "You're such an ass." She nodded eagerly. "How are you doing?"

She smiled. "I'm doing fine. How are you?" He rolled his eyes again. She laughed. "I'm fine. I promise I am fine. I'm ready to start again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

He began to move into her further and stopped when she gasped again. He let her take the time to get used to him…again. He still couldn't believe or understand why someone would do something like this for someone else. "_Why would she do something like this for me?_" He thought to himself as he watched her eyebrows furrow together when he pushed in further. "I love you, Sirius." He looked at her in a mix of confusion and surprise. She gave him a strained smile. "You are still confused about why I did this for you." He smiled and nodded. "The reason is because I love you and wanted to do this for you." He kissed her while he pushed in further. She sighed in relief when he stopped moving. "Never doubt the love I have for you. The love I will always have for you."

He smiled at her. "You will love me forever?" She nodded. "How about when you hate me?" He pushed in again and her eyes widened as she gasped. "Are you ok?" She nodded. He sucked on her neck and grunted when her nails dug into his back and scratched him. "Will you love me when you hate me?"

She moaned when he was completely inside of her. She ached but it didn't matter. She gave him what he always wanted and she made him happy. That's all that mattered to her. "I will love you forever. No matter what happens, I will love you forever. I could never hate you, Sirius."

"Do you mean that?" She nodded. "I love you, Sammy." He kissed her with a surprising amount of force and rocked against her. "Thank you. Thank you, Sammy. I love you so damn much. Thank you!"

She held in her laughter. Remus said the same exact thing when they first slept together. She had to hold in her laughter then too. She didn't understand why they thanked her. It just didn't make any sense to her.

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"Are you still sore?" 

Sam lifted her head up off the bed and looked down at Sirius. He was lying on top of her with her legs around his torso. He had his chin resting on her stomach and he wore a doofy smile on his face when she looked at him. She started to laugh. He looked at her oddly. "What is so damn funny?" Her laughs grew loud when he started nipping the skin on her stomach. "What's so funny?"

She ran her fingers through his hair and let out a light giggle. "You are." He looked completely confused. "You just look so damn adorable right now." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "I'm being serious, Sirius!" He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "Sirius, you have this silly smile on your face and you are looking at me with those amazing blue eyes that you have."

Sirius smiled and lightly blushed. "I still can't believe you did that."

"I wanted to. I'm glad I did it."

"Are you really?"

She laughed. "I didn't miss the pain part but I am glad I got to give this to you." He nodded. She rested on her elbows and smiled at him. He was nibbling on her stomach and his thumbs made circles on her hips while he stared at her with big eyes. "I can't imagine my life without you, Sirius."

He slid up her body and lay down on top of her. "I feel the same way." He kissed her. "Are you still sore?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm a little sore but I'm okay."

Sirius nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "Can we do it again?" She laughed. He kissed her with eagerness and pressed into her. She moaned in pleasure and he got even more excited. "Can we?"

She laughed. "Yes, we can. I don't think it will hurt that much this time."

He nodded. "I hope it doesn't hurt you." He kissed her as he entered her. She let out a tiny gasp but was soon fine. He saw her clock and saw that it just turned midnight. He smiled. "Happy New Year, Sammy." They kissed.

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Mr. Potter sat down on his bed with a sigh. It had been a very long day. He woke up early that morning and waited for the kids to leave so that he could borrow James' invisibility cloak and go see his little girl get married. He was unsure about helping them but knew; deep down, that it seemed right for them. His breath caught in his throat when the doors opened and he saw James and Sammy with their arms linked walking down the aisle. His little girl looked like an angel and she was glowing. He thought she saw him because she was staring right at his feet and the others had to shake her out of her daze. He had to hold in a laugh when he saw how nervous Sirius looked when she didn't immediately say 'I do.' He cried a little when they kissed. His baby girl, his little Sammy, was married. 

It was such a beautiful wedding and he was glad that he was a part of it. Even though he wished more than anything that he could be the one to give his daughter away, he was glad that James was there for her.

Harold turned his head and watched his wife, as she got ready for bed. He sighed when he thought about the long conversation they had after the kids came home from the wedding. She was livid that they would sneak off like that but he reminded her that she brought this on herself when she threatened to send Sam away. He told her that she should have known that the kids would think of something to get Sam out of going. He knew Sirius would do anything to make sure Sam stayed by his side.

That was one of his greatest fears. Sirius only married Sam to make sure she wasn't sent away but when he thought about it and watched how Sirius acted around his daughter, he knew that Sirius truly loved her and wanted nothing more than to be around her forever. Harold always thought of Sirius as a son. Once he came home with James for Christmas during their first year, he was a part of their family. He knew from the moment he saw Sirius look at Sam, when she greeted them at the door, that the boy was gone. He was in love with Sam and no other girl would be good enough, even if Sirius was too stupid to realize it at that moment.

He always knew that Sirius would be his son-in-law one day. He just didn't think it would be this soon. He laughed to himself when he thought about that summer when Sirius realized he was in love with Sam but she was still with Remus. The way Sirius would try and hog all her attention and monopolize her time made him laugh. Sirius would look so disappointed when she would politely nod and turn her attention back to Remus. Sirius was used to her, before Remus came along, and other girls falling all over him that when she ignored him, he didn't know what to do. Harold was surprised by how patient Sirius was after Sam and Remus broke up. Sirius took his time, for the first time, to be with Sam.

He lay down in his bed beside his wife and closed his eyes. She rested her head on his chest and sighed. "You are a big prat, I hope you know." She whispered.

He laughed. "Why am I a big prat this time?"

Evelyn lifted her head off of his chest and smiled. "You support their marriage when you know it won't last. At most, it will last two days. I won't be surprised if Sam comes in here in the middle of the night and says she made a big mistake. You know once they are done shagging like bunnies, something will happen and it will be over."

He rolled his eyes. "Why are you being so negative? They love each other and have for years-" He stopped talking when her words finally sunk in. his eyes widened. "Wait! Did you just say 'when they are done shagging like bunnies'?" She laughed and nodded. He blinked for a few moments before speaking again. "What makes you think they are shagging?"

Evelyn rolled her eyes. "Do you remember how we were at their age?" He smirked and nodded. "Do you remember how we were when we first got married?" He laughed and nodded. "Now, put those two things together and you have Sirius and Sammy."

He groaned. "I really didn't need to hear that!" She shrugged and laughed. "Now, I'm going to have to kill him."

"Why?"

"He is probably violating my little girl right now."

She smirked. "He _is_ her husband."

"It doesn't matter! She is still my baby girl! No man has the right to touch her! Husband or not!"

Evelyn kissed him. "Now, you know how my father felt on our wedding night."

Harold groaned again. "If your father was still alive, I'd apologize over and over for a year."

She laughed again. "Harold, you're being ridiculous! Everyone has sex!"

"Not everyone is my little girl." He grumbled.

Her eyebrows rose as she stared at him closely. "Would you be acting this way if we were talking about James?"

A faint smile appeared on his lips. "Has James?"

Evelyn shook her head and sighed. "You're hopeless." He gave her a questioning look. "James, according to what I heard Sirius say, is still a virgin. He was waiting for Lily and Lily is waiting for marriage."

He laughed. "The poor boy is going to burst!" She rolled her eyes again. He yawned. "It's been an exciting day and I'm beat. Sweet dreams, dear."

They kissed and she smirked when his eyes closed. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Have sweet dreams of Sirius taking your only daughter's virginity."

Harold groaned like he was in pain. "Evelyn, I didn't need to hear that!"

She laughed and kissed his lips. "Goodnight, sweetheart. Have sweet dreams."

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A breeze crept through the crack in the window as they lied on their bed facing each other. He pulled her closer to him when she shivered and smiled when she blushed at his touch. Her eyes were fluttering closed and his smile grew. She was so beautiful. She was his everything. She was his wife. 

He couldn't believe his luck. The only person he ever truly loved was with him and only him for eternity. He had hurt her. He had hurt her so deeply that he didn't think it would ever be possible to repair but somehow, it had repaired.

He watched as her body rose and fell along with her breathing and couldn't help but grin like a fool. She was his world. He had made so many mistakes when it came to her. He destroyed her. He broke her. He betrayed her but she took him back and willingly married him after everything. He was lucky.

As he watched her sleep, he remembered the past year. He had everything and destroyed it because of fear. She had given him another chance and he refused to blow it this time. He had thought he had lost her for good and almost lost his friends because of what he did but he didn't.

She belonged to him. He belonged to her. They belonged to each other forever, even in death. They belonged to each other forever and no one or thing could ever change that. He thought he'd feel trapped but he didn't. He felt elated. They would always be together and that meant more to him than anyone could ever understand.

She sighed in her sleep and he placed a small kiss on her forehead. Her skin felt warm against his lips and he felt a joyous sensation run through his veins. She was his. He was hers. This is the way things should be. All was right with the world. The two tragic lovers had found their happy ending. No, not ending. It was their happy beginning as man and wife. All was finally right with the world.

He looked over at the window when he felt the cold December breeze against his back again and couldn't remember when they opened it. He looked back at his sleeping bride and smiled when she draped her arm across his stomach. To feel her bare skin on his meant the world to him.

He wasn't sentimental like this often but how often is it when someone, who has caused the love of his young life nothing but pain, been able to say that despite it all she came back and loved him with the same amount of fire and passion as she had when they first met? How often is it when a scorned woman goes back to the one who scorned her? How often is it, in this crazy world, that two people find true and honest love that will last eternity at their young age? How often is it when you find your soul mate when you are only a mere boy of eleven?

He placed her hand in his and kissed her palm. They fit perfectly. Their hands were made to be held by one another. He kissed her palm again. She was his better half. She was able to calm him down. She was able to make him crazy. She was able to make him able to love. She was his everything. There was nothing he could deny her. If she asked him at that moment to die for her, he would without question.

He laughed to himself. He _was_ a sentimental fool. He was acting like all the others he used to make fun of. He was acting like a fool in love. No, he wasn't acting. He actually was a fool in love and it didn't bother him one bit. He was completely and head-over-heels in love with this girl. No, not girl. She was a woman. She was his woman. She was, and will always be, his wife.

There was a tapping noise at the window and he turned around. He saw an owl fluttering outside and he sighed to himself. He didn't want to get out of bed and be away from her warmth. He wished he could just curl up inside of her forever. He took a deep breath and eased out of the bed so not to disturb her and opened the window. He shivered violently when the cold hit his bare body. He found a cracker on the bedside table and fed the owl before it flew away. The envelope was sapphire and it reminded him of Dumbledore. He couldn't understand why but it seemed to make sense.

He looked over at her and smiled when he saw her nose twitch. He saw that the letter was addressed to _Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black_. His smile grew when he opened the envelope. It was a letter from Dumbledore.

"_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Sirius and Samantha Black,_

_My old friend, Mr. Meadows, has informed me that two of my students decided to elope today. I wish to send you my congratulations on your wedding day._

_I have never seen, in all my years, two people more perfect for one another as you are. Besides Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, of course._

_I wish you nothing but the best of wishes and am eager for your return to Hogwarts in the next two days._

_The rest of the staff have been informed of your marriage and send their best wishes as well._

_Congratulations once again and enjoy the rest of your holiday._

_Sincerely,_

_Your headmaster,_

_Albus Dumbledore._"

Sirius folded the letter back up and smiled to himself. Dumbledore always seemed to amaze him. He sighed to himself. All the professors knew and, according to Dumbledore, accepted their marriage. That was one less hurdle they'd have to go through once they returned to school. He knew their friends would be upset that they didn't tell them and weren't invited to the wedding but they would get over it. They would all be invited to the wedding they'd have after Sam finished school. "Sirius?"

He looked over at their bed and saw her staring at him. She blushed and had a shy smile on her face. Her hair was tousled and her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. "Yes, love?" He whispered.

Sam stared at him closely. Her face grew warm as she took the sight of his naked form, lit by the moonlight coming through the window, in and smiled. "Are you alright?" She whispered.

Sirius smiled at her. She shifted her body to lean on her elbow and the sheet fell to her hips. His breath caught in his throat. As corny as it may sound, she was a vision of beauty to him. He walked over to her and lay down next to her. "I'm fine, love." She smiled. His heart melted. "What are you doing up? Did I wake you?"

She shook her head. "No, you didn't. I just woke up." He nodded and kissed her palm. "Why were you at the window?"

Sirius smiled when she rested her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. "An owl came to the window. _We _got a letter."

She laughed. "Who sent _us_ a letter?"

He caressed her cheek when she looked up at him and rested her chin on his chest. "Dumbledore did. He addressed it to 'Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black'. He wanted to congratulate us and let us know that all the professors know about our marriage. They send us their best wishes as well."

Sam nodded and leaned into his touch. "They do?" He nodded. "I can't believe Dumbledore knows. How did he find out? Mum couldn't have sent that owl to him so soon."

"Mr. Meadows is an old friend of his." She nodded. "What owl was your mum going to send?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "She informed me that she was going to send a letter to Dumbledore to let him know of the _terrible_ mistake we made."

"Your mother is a piece of work."

She gave him a look. "She's your mother too now."

He laughed and hit himself on the forehead. "What was I thinking?"

Sam hit his arm playfully and laughed. "You are so mean!"

She sat up and rested on her knees while he sat up. He kissed her. "We both know I can be mean." She sighed and nodded. "But we both know that I never mean to be mean." She nodded again. He kissed her again. "I love you, Samantha."

She caressed his cheek and smiled. "I love you too, Sirius." He smiled. She bit her lip. "D-Do you…do you think…?"

Sirius held her hands in his to stop her from fidgeting. "What is it, love? What's on your mind?"

"You…do you think we made a terrible mistake?"

"Excuse me?"

Her eyes widened. "N-No, I-I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then how did you mean it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

He made her look at him. "Talk to me, Samantha."

"I don't regret marrying you. I've dreamt of marrying you since I was ten years old." He smiled when she blushed. "It's just that we are so young and we still have so much to experience. Are we…by getting married so young, are we cutting ourselves off from experiencing things?"

Sirius kissed her. "Yes and no. Yes, we are cutting ourselves off to certain experiences but no; we aren't cutting out all of them. Some experiences we will live without but others, we can experience together." She smiled. "We didn't make a terrible mistake. We've been in love forever. We've always known that we are meant to be together. Yes, we've had a lot of detours but that doesn't matter anymore. Who cares what other people think or what they will say about us? We know that this is right for us. That's all that matters." She kissed him. "I will love you forever, Sammy. Nothing could ever change that."

She laughed. "Will you really love me forever, Sirius?" He nodded. "Will you love me when I'm old and gray with terrible wrinkles?"

Sirius laughed. "Of course I will! I'll love you even if you are fat and pregnant!" He gulped when he saw the look on her face. "S-Sammy-"

Sam put her hand over his lips and smiled. "I'd love nothing more than to give you a baby."

His eyes widened. "Y-You would?" She nodded and smiled. "What? You want to have one right now?"

She laughed. "No, not right now! We just got married and I still have a year of school left! I meant after I was done with school. I want to give you a child. I'd love to give you a child of our very own."

He smiled slowly. "I'd love that but I thought you didn't want to have a baby because if our child has a daughter, she would become a dream seer like you."

She shrugged. "I know but you were right. If it was explained to her and she had help then it would be ok." She shivered. "I love you, Sirius. I want to have a child with you when the time is right."

Sirius held her face in his hands and kissed her. He nibbled on her neck and laughed when she let out a soft giggle. "I'd love to have a child with you." She pulled away from him and grabbed the shirt he gave her. He stopped her from dressing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm cold."

He smirked. "I'll warm you up."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you would but I want to wear a shirt. I like wearing the shirt you gave me." Once she put the shirt on, he put his hands under it and massaged her back. "What are you doing?"

Sirius put on an innocent smile. "My hands are cold. I want you to warm them up."

Sam smiled and started to nibble on his chin. "I love you so much, Sirius."

He moaned. "I love you too, Sammy."

She straddled his hips and sucked on his neck. "I will love you forever. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I'll only love you."

Sirius pulled away from her and gave her a look. He rolled over to be on top of her. "What do you mean 'who you're with'?"

Sam laughed. "I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that if I'm talking to one of my friends that happen to be a guy, and if you see it and get jealous like we both know you will," He laughed while she rolled her eyes. "You will know that no matter what they say, you are the only one in my heart. You are the only one I truly love."

He smiled and kissed her. "That was beautiful!"

She laughed again. "You are so corny!" He laughed. She started to nibble on his chin again. "I want to be honest with you. I want to tell you everything." She whispered. "I want you to know my secrets and I want to know yours."

Sirius licked her neck. "Do you mean that?" She nodded. "If I told you all my secrets, would you promise to love me despite them all? Would promise not to hate me?"

She moaned when his hands moved up her thighs. "I will love you no matter what. My love for you is unconditional. I swear, I could never hate you."

He looked at her and smiled. "I want you to know everything. There's something I have to tell you. I have to tell you a few things actually."

She caressed his cheek and kissed him. "You can tell me anything, Sirius. You can tell me anything and know I will love you despite it all."

Sirius helped her up and gave her a kiss. "Would you like the good secrets or the bad ones first?"

She laughed and shrugged. "Whatever you think is best."

He kissed her again. He took a deep breath and smiled at her. "A part of me has always known that we are meant to be together." She smiled. "The moment I first saw you at King's Cross Station…I couldn't look away. I didn't understand why but all I knew was that I had to meet you. I had to know your name." He kissed her palm. "James and I became best friends, like you said we would, and the way he talked about you made me think of you as my little sister. Of course, I was still thinking about you in a very unbrotherly way but I pushed those thoughts down. I tried to forget those _bad_ thoughts but they were always in the back of my mind. When I saw you that Christmas, they came flooding back. I'd only met you briefly months before but you invaded my mind, my thoughts, and my dreams."

Sam smiled and caressed his cheek. "I was the same way. You were all I talked about. Mum couldn't understand why I kept talking about a boy who I only met for a few moments. I couldn't get you out of my head."

Sirius smiled before kissing her. "It wasn't until the end of my fifth year that I realized that I was in love with you."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

He nodded. "It's true. When I meddled in your relationship with Moony earlier that year, I didn't realize I was jealous because you loved him. I thought I was upset because you didn't care about me anymore." He shook his head. "No, that's not it. I knew you still cared about me as a friend but…you didn't obsess over me anymore."

"Sirius, it wasn't like that at all! I still had a crush on you; it's just that I fell in love with Remus. I didn't ask for it to happen, it just did."

Sirius sighed. "I know that, Sammy. I just didn't understand it then." She nodded. "Do you know when I started to realize I was in love with you?" She shook her head. "It was just another day. Nothing special happened. It was a few days after the O.W.L.'s and we were hanging out by the lake. We were just talking and joking around. I started tickling you and we fell to the ground. I was on top of you and was just watching you laugh. I remember that my heart stopped for a brief moment when you opened your eyes and smiled at me. It was an ordinary moment but that's when I knew."

She smiled. "I remember that day. You grabbed me away from Remus when we started kissing."

He laughed. "I always hated it when you two would kiss in front of me."

Sam laughed and kissed him. "You'll never have to worry about seeing that again. These lips belong to only you now."

Sirius smiled and kissed her. "That's right! We belong to each other…forever." She smiled. "There's something else I have to tell you."

She nodded. "I kind of figured that when you said you had a few good _and_ bad things to tell me. I'm all ears. You can tell me anything."

He sighed. "Have you learned about love potions yet?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. Slughorn said he usually teaches it around Valentine's Day. Why?"

"He taught us around Halloween last year. For some reason he was inspired to teach us early. Come to think of it, he said that while staring at Moony." Sam blushed and looked away from him. She knew why Slughorn was inspired. Sirius groaned. "What?"

Sam laughed. "He just caught us kissing in the halls when Remus was supposed to be patrolling, that's all. Nothing bad, I promise."

He grumbled and she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, it was around Halloween when he taught us about the love potion. He asked me what scents I smelled when I smelt it. I described your scent. I smelled strawberry oil, lavender, and something that reminded me of spring rain. You are what came to me when I smelled the love potion."

She smiled. "Is that true?" He smiled and nodded. She kissed him. "Sirius, that is so sweet! I can't believe it. I was what you smelled?" He nodded and she kissed him again. "Why didn't you ever tell me that before?"

Sirius flushed and smiled. "You were with Moony. I really wanted to screw things up between the two of you again but I couldn't. When I first meddled in your relationship with him and he broke up with you, you said you hated me and I never wanted to hear you say that to me again. I didn't want to cause you pain because I was being a selfish prat. I wanted you so much but I knew I had to wait for you. I would have waited forever until you were finally free to be with me. I knew that what you had with Remus wouldn't last." She rolled her eyes again and he laughed. "Ok, I didn't know for sure but I had hoped against hope that it wouldn't so that we could finally be together."

Sam caressed his cheek and he leaned into her touch. She kissed him slowly and he held her close to his body. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard." He smiled. "I know for a fact that when I learn about love potions, I'll smell you."

He nuzzled her cheek with his before kissing her lips. "I love you so much, Sammy. You don't know how much it means to me to be with you again."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close to her. "It means a lot to me to be with you again too. I wished and hoped for the day we'd be together and now, we are married. This means everything to me."

He took in her scent as he tightened his hold on her. "It means everything to me too, Sammy. I never want to be a part from you again."

"You won't be. I'll only ever love you, Sirius." He smiled. She kissed him and smiled. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

Sirius took a deep breath and nodded. "There is."

"What is it, Baby?"

"Do you remember that letter I wrote you when you were at St. Mungo's?"

"Yes, I do. What about it?"

He smiled. "Do you know how I wrote that _we_ missed you and to see you again would be the greatest relief for _us_?" She nodded. "I didn't mean the others." She gave him a curious look. "I meant me. I knew the others missed you and wanted you back but I was talking about me. I missed you so damn much and wanted nothing more than you to come back to me. I needed you around, Sammy. I need you always." She smiled. "James became my best friend and my brother. Being friends with him made me a best friend and a brother, a son to the best parents anyone could ask for, and the world to the most amazing girl. No, not a girl. To the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life." She smiled and nodded slowly. "My point is that while you were away, James and I would stay up at night and talk. He made me realize that I had to tell you how much I needed you. I knew this already but he gave me the courage not to be afraid to let you know that I love you."

"I always did like James."

Sirius laughed. "Yes, he is a good guy to have around." She giggled in response. He sighed. "Now, here are the bad secrets." She nodded and waited for him to continue. He felt his body starting to shake. He took another deep breath. He prepared himself for her reaction and gave her a kiss. "You will get upset when I tell you this." She gave him a curious look. "Just remember that I need you so much and marrying you was and always will be the best decision I've ever made."

Sam kissed him and smiled. "I know that, Baby. Don't worry so much. Whatever it is that you have to tell me, I'll still love you." He smiled in relief. "It can't be that bad. Just tell me."

He nodded. "Ok, I will tell you." She nodded. "When we first started going out…during the summer…everything was perfect. You and me…we fit perfectly together and we still do." She smiled. "I never felt happier." He kissed her again. "When we came back to school, I started to feel trapped. I was terrified at the fact that I was going to be with one person for the rest of my life. It also didn't help that people came up to me and said it wouldn't last and I would just hurt you. Plus, our friends kept saying I was whipped by you."

She shook her head. "I could hex them for that."

He laughed. "It wasn't their fault. I was the idiot that let it get to me." She nodded and waited for him to continue. "Sarah-"

"Do we have to talk about _her_?"

Sirius sighed and nodded. "Yes, we do. You have to know the whole truth, Sammy. I have to be honest with you."

Sam sighed. "If you have to mention her then it's fine."

He knew it was only a matter of time before she started yelling at him so he snuck in a kiss. He held her close to him as he kissed her. "Please, remember that I love you."

She nuzzled his neck with her nose and kissed him. "I know that, Sirius. I love you too." He smiled and kissed her again. "I love you no matter what, Baby. I will love you forever. Don't worry so much." She kissed him again. "You may continue."

He took a deep breath. "Sarah was constantly following me around and kept egging me on." She nodded. "Sammy, I don't know why…" He couldn't look at her. He was terrified of her reaction. "I was feeling trapped and I knew that I loved you. I know that I love you."

She smiled at him. He was fidgeting and she held his hands in hers. "Sirius, calm down. It's ok. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Trust in me, Baby. We will be ok."

"I cheated on you on purpose." He blurted out.

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"The night we had that talk in the hall, that was the night I first cheated on you." Her hands pulled away from his slowly. "I was upset by the fight I had with Moony, the things our friends were saying, and…just everything in general. I asked Sarah to meet me on the top of the astronomy tower. I saw her there and started to have second thoughts but I cheated on you anyway." She was looking at her hands. "Everything was moving way too fast. We were talking about marriage and having kids and, at that time, it was all too much too soon. I wasn't ready for all of that and needed time, so I cheated on you." He rubbed her back and didn't notice that she pulled away. "I slept with her again and yes, I regretted it. I just needed more time to be ready for all we planned. I thought if I cheated on you and broke up with you, you would understand that."

Sam looked at him. He couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face was expressionless. "You cheated on me twice and said all those things to me when we broke up so I would understand that you needed more time?" He smiled and nodded. He was glad that she was understanding. She shook her head. She didn't know what to say. "What else do you have to tell me?"

"The prank I played on Snape-"

"What prank did you play on him? Was this the one he mentioned when he attacked me?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, it is." He kissed her temple. "Last year was when it happened. He kept asking where we went on the nights of the full moon. He wanted to know where the entrance to the Shrieking Shack was. He figured out that was where we went and he wanted to get in. So, I told him about the Whomping Willow entrance. I _forgot_ to mention that the tree attacks anyone that goes near it." Her eyes widened. "James found out about what I did and he saved Snape. Remus, in his werewolf form, almost attacked Snape but James saved him." Sirius let out a tiny laugh and Sam felt disgusted by him for the first time in her life. "Dumbledore asked him to keep things quiet. He didn't want anyone to know about Remus' condition."

"Remus and James knew about what you did?"

He nodded. "They were livid! Remus was overcome with guilt at the thought of almost killing someone. James was angry that I almost outted Remus and almost got someone killed. They didn't talk to me for a week! Finally, by some miracle, they forgave me."

She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding in. "James risked his life to save _him_ from the prank you pulled?" He nodded. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"The attack-"

She looked at him sharply. "What about it?"

"I might have caused it."

"Excuse me?"

Sirius felt her eyes on him. He felt as if her eyes were burning a hole through him. "It was when you were dancing with Michael. I was so bloody jealous that you were with him and made time to dance with Snivellus that I didn't know what to do. I saw you wave at him while you were dancing with Michael and I went over to mess with him. I didn't know he would hurt you." He held her to him and she couldn't breath. It felt like he was smothering her. "I didn't mean for it to happen, Sammy."

Sam almost cried when he tightened his hold on her. She couldn't believe what he told her. She couldn't believe anything at that moment. "W-What did you say to him?" She whispered. He started kissing her but she pulled away. "Tell me, Sirius."

He kept kissing her. "What does it matter, Sammy?"

She held his face in her hands to stop him from kissing her. "It matters to me, Sirius. You've told me everything else, right?" He nodded. "Then tell me this. You said it yourself. I deserve to know the whole truth. Just tell me."

Sirius sighed. He knew she wouldn't let this go. She deserved to know the truth. "I just messed with him." She gave him a look. "I told him you weren't really his friend and that it was just a games to you." She moved away from him but he didn't notice. "I made a mention of the prank but I _never_ said you were apart of it. I told him that we had a laugh over making him think you were his friend." He took a deep breath. "I said it would be a better world if he wasn't in it. I told him it was a shame that James saved his life. I told him you never cared about him. I said he meant nothing to you."

"Get out."


	54. Chapter 53: A Hole In The World

Author's Note: I have nothing to say except that the mood music for this chapter is "What if?" By Coldplay. Don't ask me why. It makes sense in my head and that's all that really matters in the end. Lol. If you want to listen to it but don't have it or don't want to download it, just let me know and I'll send you a copy. Well, I'll let you start reading. Enjoy!

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Chapter 53: A Hole In The World.

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Sirius started to laugh. "I'm sorry. I must not have heard you right. What did you say, love?"

"Get out."

His face fell. "I was wrong. I did hear you right." She started to get out of bed but he grabbed her hand. "You can't mean that."

Sam pulled her hand out of his grasp. "I do mean it, Sirius. Get out now."

"Why do you want me to leave?"

She looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. "Are you daft?" He looked confused. "Just get out."

He kneeled on the bed. "No, I won't. Tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you want me to leave."

Sam stood up and had her back to him. She couldn't look at him. She was too angry to look at him. "I want you to leave because of what you did. I don't want you here because of what you did. What you did…it disgusts me." She took a deep breath. "You disgust me."

Sirius stood behind her and touched her arm. She pulled away from him. "Sammy, talk to me. Please, talk to me. I made some mistakes but you have to know that I love you. I did it for us!"

She turned around and he took a step back. He'd never admit it out loud but the look on her face scared the shit out of him. "How can you say that to me?" She walked over to the other side of the room and took a deep breath. "How can you say that you love me and you did all that for us?"

He took a step towards her. "It's the truth! All I've ever wanted is you! I'm telling you the truth!"

Sam shook her head. "This is unbelievable! How can you say you love me when you just told me that you cheated on me on purpose?!"

He walked over to her. "I was scared to be with you! I needed more time! That's why I cheated on you."

"That's complete bullshit!" He looked surprised when she yelled. "At the beginning of the year, when I broke up with you, I said that I would give you time to be ready to be with me. I told you to take your time to make sure you were ready to be with me! Why did you say you wanted to be with me if you weren't ready?"

Sirius wrapped his arms around her. "I didn't want to lose you."

Sam pushed him away. "You lost me anyway, Sirius! You broke my heart for the stupidest reason! If you would have just taken the time I gave you then who knows what would have happened! You broke my heart for no reason!"

He sighed. "If I would have told you that I needed time…would you have understood? Would you have forgiven me if I took the time you gave me?"

She shrugged. "We will never know. I think I would have if you would have been honest with me but we will never know." He held her and for a moment, she let weakness take over and let him hold her. "Sirius, you have to leave."

Sirius held her closer. "I can't leave you now. I'm not going to leave you again. We have to work through this."

"We can't work through this."

"Yes, we can! We can work through anything!"

"We can't work through this! You went too far!"

He cornered her against the wall and she paced. She reminded him of a caged animal about to pounce on its prey. "Why the hell not?!" She growled. "I've made mistakes and have done bad things before but you forgave me! You always forgave me! Why is it different this time?"

"I can't believe you are stupid enough to ask me that!"

Sirius growled. "Don't you dare call me stupid, Samantha! I'm not stupid. I know what I've done! I know you are hurt and upset but I don't know why we can't work through this!" She wouldn't look at him. He punched the wall. "Just fucking talk to me!"

She stared at him in surprise. "You really want to know why?" He nodded. "Because if I forgive you, you will do it again! I've forgiven you so many things but you will do it again!" He shook his head aggressively. "Sirius, I forgave you when I thought you cheated on me because…whatever the reason I thought, I forgave you but I can't now! You cheated on me on purpose! How can I forgive that?"

"I don't know! Just do it!" She rolled her eyes. "That's our only problem? My cheating on you on purpose is our only problem?"

"No, I have many issues with you right now besides cheating on purpose!"

He sighed. "Sam, all I'm asking is for you to talk to me and to eventually forgive me." She had tears in her eyes and he approached her cautiously. He held her to him and sighed again when he felt her relax against him. "Sammy, you can talk to me. I need you to talk to me." She looked up at him and he kissed her. "I love you, Sammy." He saw her fight the urge to smile. "We're married now. We have to learn to talk to each other. We got married because we love each other and we have to be honest-"

Sam pushed him away. "You chose a hell of a time to be honest! You waited until our wedding night to tell me what you did!"

He looked confused. "What?"

"You want to know what I'm having trouble with besides the incredibly stupid reasoning behind why you cheated?" He nodded quickly. "You lied to him! I thought he was my friend! I did care about him! You lied to him for a stupid fucking reason and because of your actions, Michael and I almost got killed!" He paled. "I almost died because of what you said to him! James could have died because of that stupid and pointless prank you pulled! Remus could have killed them and-" She took a deep breath. "You outted one of your best mates to your sworn enemy! Do you even begin to understand how bad your actions are?" He nodded. She pushed him again. "Do you even care that James and Michael almost died because of you? Do you even care that you endangered Remus by what you did? Do you even care that I almost died because of your stupid, pathetic, and petty jealousy?"

Sirius' eyes filled with tears. "Of course I care! I care that Michael almost died! I care that because of me, Remus could have hurt someone! I care that James could have died! I couldn't take it if he died because of my actions! I love him like a brother!" He sighed. "I would never recover if he died." A tear slipped down his cheek. "When I-I saw you covered in blood…Sammy, I thought you were dead. I thought I'd never see you again. I love you so damn much that when you were unconscious…my heart stopped until you opened your eyes. I never meant for you to get hurt. I never meant for this to happen! Please, forgive me, Sammy!"

"What you did is unforgivable!"

He tried grabbing at her but she kept pushing him away. "Yes, it is! I know you love me! You married me! You promised to love me no matter what! You just said that you would love me forever! We're married now, you have to forgive me! You can't leave me again!"

"I wasn't the one who left!"

"Yes, you did! You went to Snivellus and then you went back to Remus!"

She froze for a moment before looking at him. "What?"

His chin trembled. "You left me for them…now, you can't leave me again." Sam could only blink. "We are married…and now, you can't leave."

Her mouth hung open and her eyes widened. She slapped him and he winced. She slapped him again. "You manipulative son of a bitch!" He stared at her while tears formed in his eyes again. "I can't believe you! You married me so I wouldn't leave you after you confessed what you did?" She slapped him again. "How could you do this to me? How could you take away my freedom like that?"

His head snapped up. "W-What? What do you mean?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. "You married me under false pretenses, Sirius! You knew…you knew that you were going to tell me the truth and you knew I would be upset…you married me anyway so I couldn't leave you. Is that right? Is that what you were thinking?" He didn't say anything. "Answer me, Sirius!"

Sirius didn't notice the tears that escaped his eyes and fell down his cheek. "That is partly true." He mumbled.

Sam let out a strangled sob. "I can't believe this." She whispered. "I can't believe that you would do this. I can't believe you hate me this much." He opened his mouth to speak but closed it when she slapped him. "You selfish, arrogant bastard! You took my life away! You took my freedom away!"

He couldn't feel his legs. He was so upset that he didn't know what to do. He felt anger flow through his body. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" He yelled.

"What?"

Sirius started to pace and he ran a hand through his hair as he growled. "Andy said that to me before the wedding! She said it after I told her about what I did!"

She shook her head. "Andy knew about this before the wedding?" He nodded. "Who else knew about it?"

He sighed. "James knew. We talked about it a couple of times. We first talked about it after we came home the night of the attack." She felt like she couldn't breathe. "He told me I had to tell you everything. He said you would be upset but it would be better if I told you before someone else did."

Her teeth were clenched. "It was his idea for us to get married. He knew and still convinced us to get married."

"He wanted you stay with us. He wanted you to be with me. He wanted us to be together and happy."

"Do Lily and Remus know? Did the entire fucking world know before I did?"

"Lily and Remus don't know. Remus suspected that something was wrong but I didn't tell him."

Sam looked at the ceiling. She felt trapped. There was no way out without having to go near him and she knew he wouldn't move out of the way. "Sirius…you…"

Sirius looked at her expectantly. "Yes? What is it, Sammy?"

She looked him dead in the eye. "You have to leave now. You have to leave my room now."

His face, along with his hopes, fell. "I can't. I can't leave you, Sammy."

"Why not?"

"We have to work through this! If I leave now then nothing will be fixed!"

"There is nothing to fix! We are over! We are done for good this time!"

Sirius felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. He stepped closer to her but she stepped back. Her back was pressed against the wall. "You can't mean that! You love me! I know you do!"

"I do mean it, Sirius! It's over! Leave now!"

His voice was cracking. "Why does it have to be over?"

She rolled her eyes. "You betrayed me, you hurt me, you almost got my brother killed, you outted Remus to someone you hate, you almost got Michael and me killed, and you told everyone but me about what you did. Do you need any other reason than the ones I just gave you?"

"S-Sammy…I-I'm sorry. I-I'm really s-sorry but it doesn't have to be over, does it?"

She groaned. "Yes, it does!" He looked so broken but she refused to feel guilty. "You took away my freedom! Why did you tell me this on our wedding night? Of all the times to tell me, why did you choose now?"

He looked at her with wide eyes that were shining with tears. "Y-You said that you wanted to know all my secrets. We promised to be honest with each other. I couldn't lie to you anymore. I didn't want to lie to you anymore. I couldn't bear to lie to you anymore." She shook her head. He sighed. "I'm sorry."

Sam punched the wall. He jumped in surprise. "You could have told me before we got married! You promised to be honest before we even got engaged! If you would have told me before I would have forgiven you! Yes, I would have been upset but I would have forgiven you!"

"You would have?" She glared at him before she nodded. "Why can't you forgive me now?"

"Because you waited to tell me! You waited until you knew for sure that I couldn't leave. You took away my freedom! You took away my choice to truly choose you! You took my life away! You took my options away!"

His chin trembled. "No, I didn't! You can still choose me! You love me! I know you still do!"

"I hate you!"

He pushed her up against the wall. "No, you don't! You love me!" She gulped. He was starting to scare her. "You married me because you love me! That doesn't change in an instant! You said it yourself; you will love me no matter what! No matter where you go or who you are with, you will always love me!"

Sam pushed his hands off of her. "I don't love you anymore! I couldn't love someone who could do all that!"

Sirius grabbed her and pushed her back against the wall. "Yes, you can! You still love me! I know you do!" He kissed her but stopped when she pushed him off of her. "Don't do that! I know how you really feel about me! I know you need me!"

She slapped him. "Get off of me!" He kept grabbing at her. "I don't need you! The only thing I need is for you to leave!" He started to cry openly. "I need you to leave!"

His voice cracked again. "I need you, Sammy. You make me want to be a better person. I-I need you so damn much! You're all I've ever wanted! I love you!"

She groaned. "You have to stop this! You don't need me, Sirius! All you need is to walk out of the door and leave me alone! We are done and you need to accept that!"

He pinned her to the wall. "We aren't over! We will never be over! We will always be together! You belong to me!"

Sam was about to slap him again but she stopped herself. "I don't belong to you." She took off her wedding band. "I want a divorce." His heart was pounding. She tried to take off the engagement ring but it was like it was glued to her finger. She groaned. "Why won't this damn thing come off?!"

Sirius smirked. "It won't come off because you still love me! You will never be able to take it off because you will always love me!"

"I will find a way to get this ring off! I don't care if I have to cut my finger off!"

He laughed. "You belong to me forever!"

She growled. "I don't belong to you! I don't belong to anyone!" He continued to smirk. "You know, you are acting just like your family. You think you own everything but you don't own me! You never will! You are no better than your family!" He slapped her and she laughed. "See what I mean?"

He staggered back. "Sammy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"Yes, you did! You just proved to me how much of a Black you really are."

Sirius was sobbing. "I'm nothing like them!"

She laughed again. "You are exactly like them!" He shook his head. "You want to know what is really funny?"

"W-What?"

"You called me a whore but the whore in this relationship is you." He looked at her in surprise. "You would sleep with anything in a skirt that would stay still long enough. You are the whore."

"No, I'm not!"

She smirked. "Yes, you are. You also called me weak for begging you to stay with me but you are the weak one. You are begging me to love you when it's over. You are a weak whore. You are a weak whore that doesn't deserve to be loved."

He gritted his teeth. "I deserve love. I want you to tell me you love me! Just tell me that you love me and we will be ok. That's all I want!"

"You can't get what you want this time, Black. I want to love a man not a little boy!"

"I am a man!"

Sam pushed him away from her and he staggered. "A real man wouldn't have done what you did! A real man wouldn't act like a coward! A real man wouldn't have waited until the time was right and not manipulate someone like you manipulated me. A real man would take the consequences of his actions instead of manipulating everything to make sure that everything happens to his liking! A real man would confess the truth before marrying someone he claimed to love!"

"I do love you!"

"How can you say that after what you did?"

Sirius held her to him but she pushed him so hard that he fell to the floor. The sight of his naked form sprawled out on the floor sickened her. "I know what I did was wrong but I love you!" He crawled to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I need you, Sammy." She groaned and tried to pry him away from her. She looked down at him and he smiled. "I love how you laugh and make others laugh. I love how your hair falls around me when you are on top of me or when you lie next to me. I love how we fight and make up like nothing happened. I love how sweet you are and how kind you are to people who don't deserve it. I love your eyes and your smile. I love everything about you. I love you. You are my everything." He buried his head in her stomach and she had to hold back her tears. "You want to be someone's everything and you're my everything. I need you so much that I can't bear to lose you or I would die! I would die for you!"

She pushed him. "You are weak. You disgust me!"

He took her hand and tried to make her slap him. "Hit me, Sammy. If you hit me, I will know you still love me."

Sam pulled her hand away. "It's not worth it to hit you anymore, Sirius. I think I've knocked out all the sense you had," He cried. "Your tears mean nothing to me. It just shows me how weak you really are."

"I-I'm losing you, Sammy. I'm nothing without you."

"That's right! You are nothing and you will always be nothing!"

He cried into her stomach. "You can't mean that!"

She looked away from him. "I never asked for this!" He looked up at her. She stared at him. "I wished and prayed for you to love me but I never asked for this. I never asked to have my heart ripped out like this. I never asked for you to damage me. I never asked for you to marry me. I had hoped that we would get married but not like this."

He stood up. "It's ok. I can make it better. You can love me again. I know you can. We belong together. We are meant to be!"

Sam pulled away from him. "I'm so sick of hearing that! We aren't meant to be! We can't be!" He walked to her but she moved away. She picked up his clothes and threw them at him. "This is the last straw! I want you gone! I want you out of my room, out of my house, out of my life, and out of MY HEART!"

Sirius held his clothes to his chest and tears fell freely down his face. "You don't mean that!"

"Yes, I do! You mean nothing to me!" His chin trembled and she laughed. "How does it feel?" He looked confused. "How does it feel to have your words thrown back at you? How does it feel to know that the one person you will always love hates the very sight of you?"

"Please, don't leave me, Sammy."

Sam smiled. "Those words sound familiar, don't they?" He cried harder. "Get the fuck out NOW! I don't want to see you! You disgust me! I have stopped loving you and there is no way I will let myself love you again! GET OUT!"

Sirius was broken. He felt numb. He wanted to die. "Sammy, please, don't say things you can't possibly mean. You're breaking my heart."

"I don't care! You didn't care when you did it to me!"

"Yes, I did!" He ran to her but she pushed him. "Don't leave me!"

Sam looked him in the eye. "I'm already gone, Sirius. You lost your chance to be with me. You screwed it up like I knew you would! We are done! We are over! Leave now or I will get my father to make you leave!"

"Sammy-"

"I said LEAVE!"

He turned towards the door but looked back at her. "I will leave but I know it's not over. You will love me again." He closed the door behind him.

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He shut the door behind him and looked around the hall before walking to his room. He was grateful that no one was around. He clutched his clothes to his chest and made his way to his room. He opened the door to his room slowly and sighed in relief that Lily wasn't there. He knew where she was. She was with James and they were sleeping soundly while his whole world had just been destroyed. He eased into his room and tossed his clothes down on the floor and put his boxers on. He stared at his clothes, the clothes he wore to his wedding, in disgust. He put up a silencing charm so no one would hear him. His chin continued to tremble and he had trouble breathing because he was fighting back his sobs.

He put his head against the wall in the far corner and put his palms face down on the wall above his head. He wiped his eyes but it didn't make a difference. As soon as he wiped away his tears, a new fresh batch would appear. His body shook as his cries became desperate. He sunk down to the floor and held his head in his heads.

He felt humiliated. He felt numb. He felt like his heart had been ripped into a million tiny pieces. He had lost her. He had lost her for good this time. He wrapped his arms around his body and cradled himself while he cried. His chest hurt. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. She had left him. She didn't love him anymore. He felt like he could die. "Sammy…please…" He said in a broken whisper.

Sirius closed his eyes and saw her face. She was smiling. She was smiling at him as she walked down the aisle. She looked beautiful in her white dress and with the white flowers in her hair. Her smiling face turned angry and her angry words filled his mind. He opened his eyes and gasped. He was gasping for air while he cried. He never cried this hard in his life. This was the first time he cried since that night in the hall after he first cheated on her. "I'm sorry." He whispered to the empty dark room. "I'm so fucking sorry!" He felt broken. He felt like there was a hole where his heart should have been. "I need you, Sammy. I need you so fucking much!"

He reached for his wand with shaky hands and stared at it for a moment like he didn't understand what it was for. He gripped it in his hands tightly. "I want to go back!" He started shaking. "I WANT TO GO BACK!"

Sirius looked around the room until his eyes settled on a picture on his bedside table. It was a picture of James, Sam, and him the summer before his second year. He had his arm around her and she was staring at him like he was the greatest person in the entire world. They were all laughing and smiling. They were so happy then. She had loved him then. She wanted nothing more than him just to be with her. He was all she wanted then. It was a time before Patrick and Remus entered her life. It was before they had taken her away from him. It was a time when all she needed was a smile from him in her direction. It was before he broke her heart.

He started to laugh when he saw his twelve year old self kiss an eleven year old Sam's temple and she blushed. Sirius saw James roll his eyes at her and he smiled when Sam stuck her tongue out at him. "That's it! That's it!" He whispered in an excited tone.

Sirius put his wand to his temple and sighed. The pensieve came out within seconds. He smiled when he saw the silver puddle and jumped inside.

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James pulled away from Lily and smiled when she blushed. Her green eyes were dancing in the moonlit filled room. "You're so beautiful." He whispered in her hair.

Lily kissed him. "You are wonderful."

He held her closer. "You make me feel like I can do anything."

She rested her head on his bare chest. "You can do anything, James." He kissed her. "I love you so much, James. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

He slid his finger from her forehead to her lips. She kissed his fingertip and he smiled. "I feel the same way about you. I always knew we belonged together but I just never thought you would think the same thing." She smiled at him and his arms wrapped around her. "I love you, Lily."

"I know…and I don't blame you one bit." He laughed and shook his head. She smiled. "What? I'm wonderful!"

"That is very true." He kissed her. "You are truly wonderful."

Lily leaned up and kissed him slowly. "I love you, James." James smiled and blushed when she nibbled on his ear. "You are wonderful too, you know."

"I try, love. I try."

She rolled her eyes. "You're such an ass." He laughed. "How do you think the newlyweds are doing?"

James groaned. "I'm sure they are just great! They are probably shagging their brains out." She laughed. "They are either doing that or they are fighting."

She looked at him curiously. "Why do you think they are fighting?"

He shrugged. "It's what they do best. They shag and they fight. It's their way."

Lily sighed. "That is true." She shook her head. "They are crazy."

"What do you mean by that?"

She shrugged. "They just are. They…they have so much passion separately and when they get together…it's off the charts! They love each other so much…it just explodes sometimes." He nodded. "But they are more than just shagging and fighting, you know? When they think no one is watching, either when they were just friends, secretly dating, or trying to be friends again, they take care of each other and are really sweet with one another. They know how to push each other's buttons and they know what each other needs without being told. It's quite remarkable."

James smiled. "I never thought of it that way." Lily shrugged. "I tried never to think of it because whenever I did, all that came to mind was my best mate shagging my little sister."

Lily laughed. "James, you are so cute." He rolled his eyes. "They just truly love each other. They seem to have to always be around each other and they can sense when the other one walks into a room. It's amazing. They love each other so much and they fight with such a passion!"

"They have always been like that."

"They have?"

He nodded. "They have been that way since Sirius first came home for Christmas."

She smiled. "Since then?" He nodded again. "I thought Sam had trouble speaking in front of him then?"

James rolled his eyes and laughed. "She did have some trouble but Sirius wanted her to get past that so he would tease her a bit. That would lead them into fighting and then wrestling. It was very funny."

"See, they are crazy!" James laughed. She kissed him. He held her to him. "Enough about them. Let's focus on us." He smiled and rolled on top of her.

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The sunlight was golden and the air was warm. People pushed past each other and made their way to their destinations. Sirius looked around and smiled. It was just as he remembered. "Sirius Phineas Black, hurry up!" He froze. He turned around and groaned loudly. He saw his demon of a mother walking with his brother's Regulus' hand clutched tightly in hers. He looked past her and saw his eleven year old self dragging his trunk and rolling his eyes. "You better hurry up! I hate being surrounded by muggles for a long period of time!"

Sirius followed them through the barrier and smiled when he saw the familiar red train. He looked at his younger self and saw him roll his eyes again as his mother gave him the speech about upholding the Black name and legacy…again. He crouched down in front of himself and couldn't believe how tiny he once was. "Holy shit." He mumbled to himself.

"Sirius, are you listening to me?" His mother yelled.

"Shut up, you old cow." Sirius grumbled.

Eleven year old Sirius groaned. "Yes, mother, I am listening. I've heard it all before."

His mother's face turned to stone. "Don't you dare take that tone with me you ungrateful little brat!"

Regulus laughed. "Sirius is going to get it!"

He punched his brother in the arm. "Shut up, idiot!"

He started to cry. "Mother, Sirius hit me!"

Mrs. Black cradled Regulus in her arms and glared at Sirius. "Do NOT hit your brother, Sirius!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He was a ponce even then." He mumbled.

He shrugged. "I won't hit him."

"Now, as I was saying, you are a Black and we have a certain legacy to live up to…"

The two Sirius' ignored her. Sirius stared at himself while the younger him looked around. He saw his eyes bulge out of his head and his body freeze. He looked around and laughed when he saw what his younger self was looking at.

Sirius took a step away from his mother and brother and just stared. It seemed like everything slowed down. People were walking in slow motion and he couldn't look away. She was beautiful. Her long wavy dark brown hair bounced as she ran to catch up to a boy with black hair. Sirius saw her smile and his heart stopped. She was looking around while talking to the boy and he wished she would look at him. She helped the boy with his trunk and disappeared onto the train. "Who is that girl?" He whispered.

Sirius laughed at himself. "She had me hooked even then."

"Sirius, what is the matter with you?"

They jumped and stared at their mother. "N-Nothing is the matter with me, Mother." He mumbled. "I have to board the train now or it will leave without me."

She nodded. "Yes, all right. Remember what I said, young man." He nodded in response. "Have a good year, Sirius. Make us proud."

Sirius nodded quickly. He wished she would stop talking. He needed to find that girl. "I will, Mother." He forced himself to kiss her cheek. He nodded at his little brother. "I'll see you, Regulus."

Regulus smiled. "Goodbye, moron."

He rolled his eyes and fought the urge to hit him. The last thing he needed was another lecture from his mother. He waved goodbye and the two Sirius' boarded the train. Sirius watched himself drag his trunk down the corridor and searched frantically for the mystery girl. They stopped when they heard a girl's voice. "James, push it up further."

He peeked through the doorway and saw her. He pulled back and started breathing heavily. His eyes were moving around quickly and he wiped away the sweat from his brow. "What do I do? What do I do?" He whispered.

Sirius was howling with laughter as he watched what his younger self was doing. He was acting like a big girl. "I was such a ponce!" He laughed.

He peeked through the door again and older Sirius stood in the doorway. They watched Sam and James put away his trunk. They smiled at each other and hugged. "I'm going to miss you so much, James!"

James hugged her tightly. "I'm going to miss you too, Sammy."

Sirius pulled away from the door again and smiled. He stared at him and laughed when he saw him clutching his chest and laughing lightly. "Her name is Sammy?"

He rolled his eyes at himself. "No wonder she always calls me a woman."

Young Sirius took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. "Ok, you can do this. You can do this." Sirius shook his head and rolled his eyes at his younger self's stupidity. "You're a Black! You can do anything!"

"Oh, get on with it already!" Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes again.

He picked up his trunk and walked through the door. He saw them talking but stopped when he cleared his throat. They stared at him closely. "Hello. Do you mind? Everywhere else is full." He lied. He saw at least ten empty compartments but none of them had her in them.

James nodded and helped him with his trunk. "I'm James Potter. This is my sister Samantha."

Sirius stared at her and couldn't believe how quickly or how deeply she blushed. It felt like time stood still as he stared at her before he finally nodded. "I'm Sirius Black. First year for you two?"

He hoped that she was starting her first year as well. He would be able to sit with her for the entire ride to Hogwarts. "It's mine. She isn't coming until next year. What about you?"

Sirius sighed in defeat. He would have to wait to talk to her for an entire year. "First year."

"Samantha, where are you?!" They heard a woman yell.

He saw her jump and James rolled his eyes. She hugged him tightly and started to cry. Sirius wished she wouldn't cry. "Promise me, James. Promise you will write to me and tell me all the trouble that you get into."

The two Sirius' smiled at her words. James smiled at her and wiped away her tears. "I promise. Every rule breaking thing I do, I'll tell you."

They hugged once more before Sam broke away. "I'll miss you. Stay safe and get into trouble often."

Sam walked past James and faced Sirius. Sirius' heart jumped into his throat. "You take care of my brother, Sirius. I have a feeling you two will be the best of friends." She gave him a hug and he took in her scent.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek before running out of the compartment and onto the platform. Sirius stared after her in amazement and felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. He took a moment to calm himself before letting out a nervous laugh as he turned back towards James. "Well, wasn't expecting any of that."

James stared at him and he squirmed. He laughed and Sirius joined in. "Looks like my sister fancies you."

They sat down across from each other. "Does she normally kiss complete strangers?"

James smiled. Sirius wanted to know all about her but didn't want her brother to get suspicious. "No, she is usually very shy around strangers. She must really like you."

He laughed on the outside but his heart was racing. "That's…uh…interesting."

Sirius sat down next to himself and watched how they interacted with each other. They turned when the door opened and Sirius smiled when he saw how small and rail thing Remus looked. "Hello. Do you mind?" The boys nodded and helped him with his trunk. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"I'm James Potter."

Sirius stared at Remus and nodded. "I'm Sirius Black."

They sat down and continued their conversation. Before Sirius had a chance to ask James more about Sam, the horn sounding their departure blew. James jumped up from his seat and leaned out the window. He wanted to say goodbye to his family once more. Sirius stood next to him and saw her still crying. "Bye, Sammy! I'll miss you most! I'll put a good word for you in with Sirius!" He laughed when he saw her eyes bulge out and her face turned a deep crimson.

Sirius laughed and leaned out the window. He felt a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw her blushing over him. "Bye, Sam! Nice to have met you!" He didn't think it possible but she turned a darker shade of red.

"We haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet and you two already have a fan!" Remus said laughing.

The older Sirius rolled his eyes. "He was always a prat!" The boys continued to talk. Sirius watched himself and he had a faraway look in his eye as he pretended to pay attention to the conversation. He knew he was still thinking of Sam. "You should have told her. You should have told her then that you loved her and only her." He sighed and shook his head. "If you did then Patrick and Remus wouldn't have taken her away." He had enough of this memory and went back to his room.

The room was dark and felt empty as he eased back down to the floor. He held his knees up to his chest. He rested his head in between his knees and sighed. Sirius felt his body start to shake again. "Please, don't leave me." He whispered in a pathetic tone before he began to cry again. "Please…Sammy…don't leave me."


	55. Chapter 54: The Very Thought Of You

Author's Note: Hey! I'm sorry I didn't update for a bit. Monday was my birthday. Yay me! Lol, sorry about that. And, the fourth of July happened so I was too busy to update. I do apologize. I'm sorry if there are a lot of errors in this chapter. I'm too tired to reread everything and I wanted to post so bad. I hope you don't mind. I want you to know that I'll be going on vacation on Tuesday and I'll be gone for a week. I'll try to update before I leave and I'll try to check my email and respond to your reviews. Also, on my livejournal, I've posted a new story I'm writing along side with this story. It's a fiction story but not a fan fiction story. I'd really appreciate it if you read it and left a comment to let me know what you think. The web address is on my author's page or whatever you call it. I hope you enjoy that story as much as you've enjoyed this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sam goes a bit...crazy in this chapter. The chapter title...the very thought of Sirius makes her blood boil more so than usual. The song that goes along with this chapter, especially the first scene is "Pretty Girl (The Way)" By Sugarcult. If you want the song and can't find it, ask me and I'll send it to you, ok? Just give me your email address. Ok, I think I've told you everything you needed to know. I hope you like this chapter and please, review. I enjoy reading them and responding to you. Ok, I'll shut up now. Enjoy!

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Chapter 54: The Very Thought Of You.

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Sam heard him shut the door behind him. She walked in front of the mirror on her dresser and glared at her reflection. "You stupid idiot! You let it happen again! How thick are you?"

"_I love you, Sammy_."

She turned around when she heard his voice but saw that no one was there. She started to cry. "You son of a bitch!" She yelled. She put a hand against the wall to steady herself when her cries made her body shake violently. "How could you? How could you do this to me?" She sobbed. "I loved you! I love you so damn much! How could you? I needed you! I need you so much!" She fell to the floor and curled up in a ball. "Sirius, why did you have to do that? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Sam closed her eyes and saw his smiling face. She saw his smiling face waiting for her at the end of the aisle. He was looking at her like she was the only person in the room. He was looking at her like she was all he ever needed in his life. The picture in her mind changed and she saw him crawling to her. He was crying as she yelled at him. He looked so broken and it was because of her. She had broken him. "No!" Her eyes flew open and she wiped away her tears. "I will NOT feel guilty! He brought this on himself! He deserved it!"

"_I'd die a thousand times just so you could live one more day_..."

She put her hands over her ears and groaned. "Get out! Get out of my head, Sirius!"

"_I need you so much, Sammy_." She cried harder. "_My soul...I'd die if I didn't have you in my life_."

She whimpered. "Please, stop it, Sirius."

"_You're my everything, Samantha_." She gasped out a breath when her cries became too much. "_Promise me that after you finish school we will get married…Promise me because you want to marry me and not because I'm begging you to…_"

"I did marry you, Sirius. I promised I would and I did." She muttered. "You are the only one I've ever wanted to be with."

"_Please, don't leave, Sammy_."

Sam stood up. "I won't leave you, Sirius." She caught her reflection in the mirror and stopped. Her eyes were glazing over and her hair was all over the place. She blinked and her eyes went back to normal. "Stop it!" She yelled at herself. "You are stronger than this! You don't need him!"

She tried to fix her hair but her fingers got caught in a knot. She pulled her fingers through the knot and a few of her hairs ripped out of her head. She let out a loud yelp. "_I love how your hair falls all over me whenever you are on top of me or when you lie next to me_."

Her body shook with rage. She saw a pair of scissors on the dresser and smiled. She grabbed a chunk of hair and started cutting. She laughed as each clump of hair fell to the floor. She smiled in satisfaction as she set down the scissors and saw how her hair looked. It came up to her shoulders and looked like a rat's nest. It was an uneven and unruly mess and she loved it. She saw him standing behind her and he was shaking his head in disappointment. She turned around but still no one was there. Sam turned back to the mirror and glared. "Stop playing tricks on me!" She yelled as she punched the mirror.

Shattered glass fell to the floor and she took a step back from the dresser. She clutched her bleeding hand to her chest and saw how the blood fell off of her hand and onto the floor. She looked around the room in shock. "What the hell is wrong with me?" She whispered. She touched her hair and started to cry again. "What did I do?" She got dressed and didn't realize she put her wedding band back on before she grabbed her bag and left her room.

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The door creaked when it opened and she winced. She closed the door and crept to the bed. The figure in the bed let out of loud snore and she stifled a laugh. She sat on the bed and sighed. She shook the figure to wake up. "Wake up. I need to talk to you. I need your help." She whispered.

"What do you want?" A groan came from under the sheets.

Sam sighed. "I need your help with something. Please, wake up!"

Lilac rolled over and rubbed her eyes. "Sam, is that you?"

She smiled. "Yes, it is. I need your help."

She sat up and yawned. Her eyes were still closed. "What is it?"

"Can you cut my hair?"

She yawned. "Of course, I can…wait! What did you just say?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Open your eyes, Lilac."

Her eyes opened slowly and she gasped. "Sammy, what did you do to your hair?"

She started to cry and Lilac held her. "Lilac, I made a huge mistake."

"Don't worry, Sammy. Your hair will grow back."

Sam laughed through her tears. "I'm not crying about my hair…even though I did destroy it."

She stared at her friend and sighed. "Your hair is awful." Sam gave her a look and she laughed. "I'm sorry. It had to be said…a lot." Sam nodded. "What big mistake did you make this time?"

Sam looked at her left hand and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw her wedding band. She held out her hand to Lilac and she gasped. "Sirius and I got back together. We also got married this morning."

Lilac shook her head. "First, why did the hell did you go back to that moron? Second, why did you marry that moron? Third, why wasn't I invited?"

She shrugged. "First, I love…loved him and he begged me to come back. Second, he begged me to marry him…and my parents wanted to send me back to St. Mungo's because of the attack. We got married to prevent that from happening and because we loved each other. Third, we got married in secret. The only people there were James, Lily, and Remus." Lilac sneered. "We planned to get remarried after I finish school. We were going to invite everyone. You were going to be a bridesmaid."

She smiled and hugged her. "I would love to be a bridesmaid in your wedding to that asshat!"

"I'm getting a divorce."

"You change your mind really fast."

She looked down at the ground and sighed. "He…I made a mistake. I should have never married him, Lilac."

They hugged. "What did he do now? Do you want me to kill him?"

"He was the reason why I was attacked."

Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared. "What? Start explaining what happened now!" Sam cried when she told her of his confession and Lilac growled. "I could kill him! I can't believe he did that!" Sam started to hyperventilate. Lilac tightened her hold on her friend. "Sammy, it's going to be ok…why…why would you parents send you away?"

"They thought I wasn't dealing with the attack but I was." She bit back a sob. "I talked to Michael and Sirius about it…I can't believe I fell for his crap again. Why did I do that? Why do I continue to fall for his lies?"

Lilac sighed. "I hate to admit this and if you tell anyone I said this, I will hex you." She nodded slowly. "Sirius…ugh…I can't believe I'm going to admit this…but he is very charming and handsome. Anyone would fall for his charms."

"You never did." She mumbled.

She groaned. "You are lucky that you are upset or I would never admit this willingly."

"Admit what?"

"Ihadacrushonhimlastyear."

Sam looked up in shock. "What did you say?"

Lilac glared at her. "I had a crush on him last year, ok?" Sam's eyes widened in surprise. "It only lasted a month but I couldn't get enough of him. I realized I was completely crazy for liking an ass like him and so, I stopped."

"I wish I could be strong like you."

She smiled. "You are strong, Sammy. It's just that you've had to go through a lot for the last year and it just tested it. You may think you are weak and the people you loved have called you weak but you aren't." They hugged. "Now, why are you here in my room at three in the morning?"

She blushed. "I'm sorry I came so late. I didn't know where else to go." Lilac smiled and nodded. "I decided that my parents were right. I do need to go back to St. Mungo's but I can't go with my hair like this. I know I'm crazy but I don't want to look the part."

"Do you really have to go?"

She nodded. "There is something wrong with me, Lilac. I need to get the help I need to get better." Lilac nodded. "Will you fix my hair?"

"Why me? Why didn't you go to Lily?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I knew she would try to defend his actions and you wouldn't. I also knew that you know how to fix hair. Remember when Alice tried cutting her hair and it looked lopsided? You were able to fix it. I need you to fix me up before I leave."

Lilac nodded and smiled. "I will fix your hair." Sam smiled. "How long will you be gone this time?"

She shrugged again. "My parents said it might be for a month or longer but I don't know for sure. The first time I was sent away they said I would be there for a month but I was gone for two weeks."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't want you to go away for that long, Sammy!" Sam hugged her. "Try your best to get better fast."

"I will, Lilac." They shared a smile and wiped away their tears. "Can you fix my hair?"

Lilac smiled. "I have my work cut out for me but I can do it." Sam smiled. Lilac got up and brought over a chair and Sam sat down. She got a pair of scissors and started cutting. Sam's eyes filled with tears as she felt her hair being chopped off. She felt like a weight was being lifted off of her chest. Lilac smiled in triumph when she was done. "All done!" She handed a mirror to Sam and showed her the finished product. "What do you think?"

Sam stared at her reflection closely. Her hair came up just under her chin and bounced when she turned her head. She smiled. "It's wonderful, Lilac. It looks beautiful." She stood up and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Lilac."

"I'm going to miss you, Sammy."

"I'll miss you too, Lilac. You can write to me. Plus, I will be back." She looked her in the eye. "I promise you, I will be back soon enough."

Lilac smiled. "I know you will be, Sammy. I know."

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Sam sighed as she entered the office through the fireplace. She clutched her bag to her chest and went towards the door. "Mrs. Black, what are you doing here?"

She let out a loud gasp and jumped. "P-Professor Dumbledore, you frightened me."

Dumbledore smiled and stared at her closely. "I do apologize." She nodded and looked at the floor as the awkward silence set in. "I wish to extend my best wishes to you and Sirius on your marriage." He was surprised when he saw tears in her eyes. "Samantha, are you alright?"

Sam looked up and sighed. "I'm fine, sir."

"May I ask why you are here at such a late hour?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour." He nodded and waited for her to continue. "I've come to say goodbye to Michael, sir."

He sat down and offered her a seat. She sat down and squirmed under his gaze. "Why are you saying goodbye to Mr. Lewis? Are you going somewhere?"

She nodded. "I'm…I've decided that it would be best if I went back to St. Mungo's for a little while." He sighed. "I'm leaving tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I said goodbye to Michael."

"Why do you think you need to go to St. Mungo's?"

Her chin trembled. "I've been having some trouble…after the attack." He nodded. "I just think it would be best if I went back and got some perspective."

Dumbledore stared at her. "How does your husband feel about your decision?"

"He doesn't know yet."

"Why haven't you discussed your decision with him?"

Sam glared at the ground. Sirius' face flashed through her mind and she couldn't take it anymore. "Because he is the reason why I am going!" She yelled. Her eyes widened and she started to cry. His face was calm as he passed a tissue to her. "Thank you." She mumbled. He nodded in response. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's not your fault that this is happening."

He leaned back in his seat. "What is happening, Samantha?"

She shook her head. "I-I c-can't…"

He held up his hands to stop her from talking. "It is all right, Samantha. I understand that you can not tell me."

"It's not that I can't, sir. It's just not my place to tell you."

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "Have you had any dreams?"

"I have had nightmares, sir. I haven't had any visions."

"You have had nightmares about the attack." She nodded. "Do you think it wise to go to St. Mungo's after you have just been married and not let your husband know of your plans, Mrs. Black?"

Sam looked at him and shrugged. "It's the only way, sir. He won't let me go if I tell him. He won't let me go period."

He stared at her intently. "I understand, Samantha. You may leave to see Mr. Lewis." She nodded and went towards the door. She stopped when he spoke. "Samantha?" She turned and looked at him. "I do love your hair." He smiled when she let out a tiny laugh. "I wish you luck, Samantha. I do hope you return to Hogwarts soon."

"Thank you, sir. Again, I'm sorry I disturbed you."

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Sam walked into the hospital wing and over to Michael's bed. She sat down next to his sleeping form and sighed. She wished that she could just go back. She wished she could go back and let herself love him instead of Sirius. He was one of her best friend's. She trusted him and he was always there for her. She didn't understand why she fell for someone who constantly hurt her instead of someone who was always there for her. Sam brushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled when he leaned into her touch. "I'm sorry, Michael." She whispered.

Michael stirred in his sleep. She stared at him closely. His eyes opened slowly. He smiled when he saw her face. "Sammy, what are you doing here?" He whispered.

She put a silencing charm up around them and smiled. "I had to see you."

He smiled and sat up. "Is everything alright?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No, Michael, everything is not alright."

"What's the matter?"

Her chin trembled. "I'm going back to St. Mungo's tomorrow. I've come to say goodbye."

His eyes widened. "Why are you doing that?"

She started to cry and he wrapped his arms around her. "I-I can't tell you, Michael."

He held her face in his hands and stared at her closely. "Yes, you can, Sammy. We are friends, right?" She nodded. "Trust in me, Sammy. Tell me what's going on."

"I'd have to tell you everything for you to understand."

"That's fine. Tell me everything."

Sam sighed and held out her left hand. "Sirius and I got married today." He shook his head in disbelief. She decided to tell him the complete truth. She took a deep breath before speaking. "The first time I was sent to St. Mungo's; it wasn't because of my heart condition. I don't have a heart condition."

"I don't understand."

She looked him in the eye. "I'm a dream seer, Michael." He gasped. "I had a vision and the vision…it was just bad."

"What was it?"

Sam took another deep breath. "What I'm about to tell you…you can't tell anybody. Everything I tell you is between you and me. I haven't told anyone about what I saw in my dream." He nodded. "I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone what I tell you."

He nodded. "I promise, Sammy. I won't tell a soul."

"I saw my death."

Michael gasped. She was surprised when he hugged her tightly. "You couldn't have! You must have gotten it wrong!"

She shook her head. "I'm not wrong. I saw my death."

He held her tighter to him and started to cry. "I don't want you to die, Sammy."

Sam wiped his eyes. "I have to, Michael."

"Why?"

"My death spares the deaths of my family and friends. I have to die to save them. It's the only way, Michael."

Michael shook his head. "I don't accept that."

"You have no choice but to accept it. It's the only way!"

"When does it happen?"

"A year after I graduate."

His eyes widened. "A year after you graduate?" She nodded. "That's not enough time!"

She shrugged. "It's all the time I have left." He started to shake. "Michael, there is so much I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything."

"Then tell me, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "I started having bad dreams when I was six. I didn't know what they were then but I knew they frightened me. I had a vision before James left for Hogwarts. It was of James, Lily, Sirius, and me. That's how I knew…or thought I knew that Sirius was for me. I met him the next day at King's Cross and knew it was the boy from my dream. I can't explain how I knew that Sirius and James would be friends. I just knew." He nodded. She continued to tell him every insignificant detail of her life and he remained quiet while she spoke. "The attack…"

Michael looked up. "What about it?"

She sighed. "Sirius caused it."

"What do you mean? How did he cause it?" She explained to him how and why Sirius and she got married. She told him what Sirius said when he told her the truth. "That son of a bitch!" She jumped. He was red in the face and he growled. "I told him he was forgiven for treating me like crap all these years! I said we could be friends! That asshole is the reason why I'm here! He's the reason why you were tortured! I could kill him!"

Sam hugged him. "Michael, you need to calm down! I don't want you to hurt yourself."

He took a deep breath. "Is he the reason why you are going back that place?"

She nodded. "Yes, he is. I cut my hair and punched my mirror after I threw him out. I went to Lilac so she could fix my hair. I knew I needed to go back. I'm acting crazy and going back will help me."

Michael sighed. "I don't want you to go but I understand why you have to."

"I promise I will come back, Michael. I promise I will."

He smiled. "I know you will, Sammy. I will write to you."

She smiled in return. "I'll look forward to that." They hugged. "I'm sorry, Michael." She whispered in his ear.

Michael pulled back and looked at her curiously. "Why are you sorry? It's his fault that this happened, not yours."

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't choose you. It should have been you all along, not Sirius."

"Sammy, you shouldn't say that."

"Why not?"

He held her face in his hands and sighed. "You are upset. You don't mean what you say."

She shook her head. "That's not true! Michael, you are always there for me. We talk about everything and listen to each other's problems. Sirius just lies and hurts me."

"Sammy...you love Sirius. You will forgive him eventually."

Sam growled. "No, I won't! I can't forgive him, Michael. He has hurt me so much. I just can't forgive him."

He smiled. "You will eventually forgive him. You will at least be friends with him again."

She growled again. "Don't say that! It's not true!"

"Prove it."

Sam looked at him curiously. "How do I prove it?" He leaned in and tried to kiss her but she moved her head. "Michael, I can't."

Michael smirked. "Why can't you?"

"I-I'm married to him. I've never cheated on anyone and I don't want to."

"You still love him."

She sighed. "No, I don't. I can't kiss you because it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I've led you on enough and I don't want you hurt you anymore than I already have."

He smiled slowly. "You aren't leading me on right now. Sam, you just have to realize that you will forgive him."

"If I do…forgive him, promise me that you will hit me over the head with a hard object." He laughed and nodded. They hugged again. "I'm going to miss you, Michael."

Michael kissed her cheek. "I'll miss you too. Promise me that you get better as soon as you can."

She laughed. "I promise I will try to get better as quickly as possible."

He smiled. "By the way, I really love your hair." She laughed in response.

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Dawn was breaking through the horizon as Sam stepped back into her living room. She walked up the stairs to her room and sighed when she set her bag down on her bed. She looked around her room and saw the mess she made when she broke the mirror. "At least I won't be alive long enough to have seven years bad luck." She whispered.

Sam got changed into her pajamas and walked into the hall. She stopped in front of Sirius' door and put her hand up against it. She leaned in against it but didn't hear a sound. She sighed as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Goodbye, Sirius." She whispered.

She opened the door to her parents' room and kneeled down beside the bed on her mother's side. "Mama, can I talk to you?"

Mrs. Potter swatted at the hands that shook her. "Harold, not now! I'm sleeping and not in the mood!"

Sam made a face and groaned. "That is so disgusting!" She shook her mother harder. "Mama, can I talk to you?"

She opened her eyes and groaned. "Samantha, it is five in the morning. Can we talk later?"

"Can I sleep with you and Daddy tonight?"

Mrs. Potter eyes her closely. "Don't you want to be with your husband tonight? It is your wedding night after all."

Sam's chin trembled and a tear slipped down her cheek. "Please, don't remind me, Mama."

She caressed her daughter's cheek. "Sammy, what's wrong?"

"I thought you wanted to wait to talk?"

"Samantha, talk to me."

"I think I should go back to St. Mungo's."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Why do you think that?"

She looked down at the ground and sighed. "Mama, I made a terrible mistake. I should have never gotten married to him."

Evelyn shook her head. "Sammy, what happened?"

"He lied to me, Mummy. He hurt me. I can't be married to someone like that."

She sat up and hugged her. "What did he do?"

Sam held onto her mother tightly and started to cry. "He married me under false pretenses."

"What happened, Samantha?" Sam just shook her head and she sighed. "Can you tell me why you want to go back to St. Mungo's?"

She held out her right hand and her mother gasped when she saw the blood soaked bandage. "I chopped off my hair and punched my mirror after I threw him out." Evelyn fingered her daughter's hair and stared at the bandage. "That's how I know."

"Sammy, where did your hair go?"

Sam let out a tiny laugh. "I cut it off and went to Lilac to fix it."

Her eyes widened. "You left home to go to Lilac so she could cut your hair?"

She winced. "Yes, I did, Ma'am. I also went to Hogwarts and said goodbye to Michael. I spoke to Dumbledore too. I'm sorry I left without telling you, Mama. I just needed to get out of here for a while. It felt like the walls were closing in around me and I had to leave or else I might get smothered. Does that make any sense?"

She took Sam's hand in hers and moved over so she could lie down next to her. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and sighed when Sam rested her head on her shoulder. "Yes, it does. I understand what you mean, Baby." Sam curled up against her and started to cry again. She tightened her hold on her. "Can you tell me anything about what happened?"

Sam's bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "He cheated on me on purpose."

"I know this already, Sammy."

"He arranged it. He asked Sarah to meet him on the astronomy tower. He planned the whole thing."

Evelyn growled. "I'm hexing his balls off!"

"Mummy, is it ok that I sleep with you and Daddy tonight?"

She smiled and kissed the top of her head. She brushed the hair out of her little girl's eyes and wiped away her tears. "Its fine, sweetheart. You can spend the night."

Sam cried harder. "I wish I still had Mr. Snuggles."

Evelyn laughed lightly when she mentioned her old teddy bear. "I think Mr. Snuggles is still around. He might be in the attic. How about I look for him and I send him to you when I find him?"

She nodded. "That would be nice."

She caressed her hair. "Why don't you close your eyes and try to fall asleep? If you are going to St. Mungo's tomorrow, we will have a busy day of packing."

Sam sniffed. "I am going. I will try to sleep, Mama." She yawned. "Mummy, can I get a divorce?"

"You want a divorce?" Sam nodded. "Why don't you get an annulment instead? It would be like it never happened."

"I can't get an annulment."

Evelyn sighed. "You slept with him." She nodded again. "He told you the truth after you two slept together." She nodded again and cried. "My poor little girl." She kissed her temple. "You can get a divorce if you want to."

"Thank you, Mama." She closed her eyes and yawned. "Mama, can I ask you something?"

She stifled a yawn. "Of course you can, Sweetie."

She looked at her mother closely. "Will I ever be good enough?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Will I ever be good enough to be loved by someone who doesn't want anything in return except for me to love them back?"

Evelyn sighed before smiling. "You are already good enough, Sammy. You are better than enough. You have just had some back luck in choosing the right boy for you."

Sam's eyes closed slowly and smiled. "Thank you, Mama." She yawned. "I should have chose Michael. He never would have hurt me like this."

She sighed when she heard Sam's breathing deepen. Sam tightened her hold on her in her sleep. She kissed her forehead. "I love you, Sammy."

Harold rolled over and groaned. "Why are you on top of me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you man."

His eyes widened in surprise. "What did I do?"

"It's what all you men do."

"What is wrong with you?"

Evelyn shook her head. Sam stirred. "It's ok, Sammy. Mama is here to protect you." She whispered in her ear.

Harold looked over his wife's shoulder and saw his little girl curled up in her arms. "What is she doing in here?" He whispered.

She smiled. "She came in here and asked to sleep with us. She told me that she made a mistake marrying Sirius. She has agreed to go to St. Mungo's tomorrow and wants a divorce."

He sighed. "What happened?"

She shrugged. "I don't know actually. It must have been really bad because she cut off her hair and punched her mirror after she threw him out. She asked to go to St. Mungo's, Harold. I didn't even mention it."

Harold nodded. "Is she alright?"

"She will be. She just needs to rest for now. We are going to have a busy day tomorrow. We have to pack and break the news to the kids."

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wished he didn't wake up and hear all this at such a late hour. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Did…they…?"

Evelyn rolled her eyes. "How would I know, Harold? If you really want to know, ask her tomorrow." He groaned in response. "Get some rest, Harold. We have a big day tomorrow."

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James peeked his head out into the hall and smiled when he saw that no one was around. He took Lily's hand in his and led her out. They walked to Sirius' door and kissed her. "I love you, Lily."

Lily blushed and kissed him. "I love you too, James." She looked at Sam's door and smiled. "Let's go check on them."

He groaned. "What if they are naked?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "You are such a baby!" She dragged him to Sam's door and opened the door. She peaked her head in and gasped. "James, you have to see this!"

"Are they naked?"

She hit his arm. "No, they aren't! You have to see this."

They walked into the room and gasped. The room was a wreck. Glass was all over the floor and there were two holes in the wall. James' eyes were wide as saucers as he looked around the room. "What the bloody hell happened?"

She shook her head in disbelief. "I have no idea."

"Where are they?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "How would I know? I've been with you the entire time."

The door opened and they turned around. Mr. Potter rubbed his eyes and smiled at them. "Good morning." They nodded in response. He looked around the room and groaned. "It looks like a war broke out in here." They sighed. "Kids, why don't you go downstairs while I clean up in here? Your mother has to talk to you about something important." They nodded. "Don't blame her. This was Sam's idea."

They gave him a curious look before leaving to go downstairs. They entered the kitchen and saw Mrs. Potter cooking. James yawned. "Morning, Mum."

Mrs. Potter turned around and smiled. "Good morning, James. Did you sleep well, Lily?"

Lily smiled. "Yes, I did. Thank you for letting me spend the night, Mrs. Potter."

She laughed. "It was no trouble, dear. James and Sam's friends always stay over. Plus, you are practically family! You are welcome to stay whenever you want." Lily smiled in response. "Would you two like breakfast?"

They nodded and sat down. "I'm so hungry I could eat a hippogriff!"

The women rolled their eyes. "Do you need any help, Mrs. Potter?" Lily asked.

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine, sweetheart. Just sit and relax."

James yawned as his mother set down a plate of toast on the table. "Dad said you needed to talk to us about something important. He said it was Sam's idea." She nodded. "What is it?"

She sighed. She should have known that her husband would leave it to her to tell them what was going on. "Samantha has decided it would be in her best interest to go back to St. Mungo's…and divorce Sirius."

James choked on the piece of toast he was chewing on and Lily just gaped at her. "W-What did you just say, Mum?" James asked slowly.

Evelyn sat down and rubbed her eyes. "Sam is going back to St. Mungo's and wants a divorce."

Lily shook her head. "Mrs. Potter, you must be mistaken. Sam and Sirius love each other. There is no way they would give up after only a day."

She gave them a sad smile. "I'm not mistaken, Lily. Sammy came to me this morning and asked me to go to St. Mungo's herself. She asked me to help her get a divorce."

"This is complete bullshit!" James yelled.

They jumped in surprise. "James, do not use such language!" His mother scolded.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mum. I was just surprised." She nodded. "Where are they?"

"Sammy is still asleep in my room and I think Sirius is in his room."

"Do you know what happened, Mrs. Potter? There was glass everywhere and two holes in the wall in Sam's room. Do you know why Sam would want a divorce so soon after getting married?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure really. All I know is that Sam cut off her hair and punched the mirror after she threw him out." They gasped. "She said that he told her some things and she just can't forgive him."

James paled. Lily looked at him. "James, do you know what's going on?"

Evelyn stared at them. "You don't know what he told her, Lily?" She shook her head in response. "James, what's going on?"

He gulped. "I-I'm not sure. I've got to go check on Sirius. I've got to see if he's alright."

Mrs. Potter looked at Lily when he left but she just shrugged in response. "Don't look at me, Mrs. Potter. I'm just as confused as you are."

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James ran up the stairs and banged on Sirius' door. "Sirius, open up! Sirius, mate, its James, open the door." There was no answer.

Harold peeked his head out of Sam's room. "James, I don't think he is up to opening the door. Why don't you go inside and talk to him?"

He nodded and opened the door. He walked in and closed the door behind him. He saw a big lump on the bed moving around and walked over to the bed and kneeled down. "Sirius?" He whispered.

Sirius moved the comforter off of his face and James gasped. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. It looked like he'd been crying for years. He stared at James for a moment and sighed. "I told her the truth." He mumbled.

James nodded. "I kind of guessed that already. What happened, mate?"

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He looked down at the ground and started to cry. "She left me, James."

He was surprised by his friend's tears. He never saw Sirius cry before. He brought him into a hug and was surprised when he held on for dear life and continued to cry. "Mate, it's going to be ok."

Sirius tightened his hold on him. "No, it's not. She wants nothing to do with me. She hates me."

"Padfoot, you have got to get yourself together." Sirius' body shook as he sobbed. "I heard something about Sam but I'm not sure if I should tell you."

His head snapped up. "What? What is it? Is she coming back to me?"

James sighed and shook his head. "No, I don't think she is." Sirius' chin trembled. "She is leaving for St. Mungo's in a few hours. After you left her room, she punched the mirror and cut off her hair. She…she also asked for Mum's help to get a divorce."

Sirius' body sunk against James'. "She really wants a divorce?" He nodded. Sirius crawled back into bed and pulled the covers around him. "I need to be alone." He mumbled.

He got into bed with him. "Tell me what happened."

He looked at his brother and took a deep breath. He told him of the events of the previous night and when he was done, he began to cry again. "Once I got out of my pensieve, I just started crying again. I haven't been able to sleep at all."

James shook his head. "I'm sorry, mate."

"It's not your fault. I should have listened to you and told her sooner. She said she would have forgiven me if I did."

"You never know, there might still be a chance that she comes back to you."

Sirius rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling blankly. "No, she is gone. She isn't coming back to me."

He glared at him. He never knew Sirius to give up on anything ever. "Don't say that! Don't give up! She will come back to you. She always comes back to you, doesn't she?"

He let out a small smile. "You really think so?" He nodded eagerly. "I'm just going to lie here for a while and wait for her to come back…or for death to come. Whichever decides to pop up first."

"I'll stay with you, mate. Don't worry about that." Sirius nodded and began to cry again.

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Sam's eyes popped opened when she heard James yelling and banging on a door. She rolled her eyes when she heard him call Sirius' name. She knew he wouldn't come check on her. He only cared about what Sirius was going through. She got out of her parents bed and opened the door. No one was around and she took a deep breath before walking into the hall. She stopped in front of Sirius' door when she heard him crying. Her heart ached when she heard how hard he was crying. Sam pressed her ear to the door and sighed. It broke her heart to hear how much pain he was in. Her hand was on the door knob and she listened to his sobs. "Sirius?" She whispered. She was about to open the door but stopped herself when she saw her father leaning out of her room and staring at her curiously out of the corner of her eye. Sam pulled away from the door and walked over to him. "Good morning, Daddy." She said while looking at the floor.

Mr. Potter continued to stare at her closely. "Good morning, Sammy." He pulled her into a hug. "How are you feeling after last night?"

She looked up at him and sighed. "Mama told you?" He nodded. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because my marriage didn't last more than a day and I'm going to St. Mungo's. You helped us out and I failed at it. I'm sorry I failed you, Daddy."

He kissed her forehead. "You aren't a failure, sweetheart. Things will work out. Don't worry about that." She hugged him tightly. "I finished fixing your room." She blushed. "We are leaving soon. You better start packing now so we can leave on time."

She nodded. "Daddy, are you disappointed in me?"

Harold smiled. "No, I'm not." He kissed her forehead again. "Sammy, everything will work out." She smiled and walked into her room and shut the door. He sighed and shook his head. He walked down the hall and stopped in front of Sirius' door. He closed his eyes when Sirius let out a loud sob. "She will go back to you, Sirius. I know she will."

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Lily walked into Sam's room and saw her packing. She turned around and gave her a sad smile before turning back to her trunk. Lily stood next to her and sighed. "What are you doing, Sammy?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm leaving so I'm packing."

She pulled the shirt out of her hands. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving. I'm packing."

She growled. "Sam, talk to me! Tell me why you're leaving!"

Sam wouldn't look at her. "I can't talk right now, Lily. I have to pack."

Lily glared at her and waved her wand. Sam's trunk was fully packed and closed shut. "You are packed. Now, talk to me."

"Lily-"

"Save it! If you really are my best friend then just trust in me. Talk to me, Sammy. We have been best friends for years. We talk about everything. Why can't you talk to me now?"

She didn't say a word and Lily groaned before walking to the door. She stopped when she heard Sam start to cry. "I hate him, Lily." She whispered. "All he has done is lie to me."

She sat down next to her. "What happened last night, Sammy?"

"I can't talk about it. It hurts too much."

Lily brought her into a hug and Sam held onto her tightly. She began to sob and Lily was surprised when she held onto her for dear life. "It's ok, Sammy. Just talk to me. Tell me what happened."

Sam told her about what happened the night before and Lily was utterly shocked. Lily tightened her hold as Sam's cries grew harder. "That's why I'm leaving, Lily. I can't stand the thought of having to be near him. I can't stand the thought of staying married to him."

She nodded. "I understand, Sammy."

She looked up in shock. "You aren't going to defend him?"

Her eyes widened. "Of course I'm not going to defend that asshole! What he did…what he caused to happen…I'd never defend him! Why would you think that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She mumbled. "You always try to see the good in people. I just thought you would try to make me see the good in him."

"Do you want me to do that? Do you want me to convince you to forgive him?" She shook her head. "Good. Because if you said yes, I would have to hex you."

Sam laughed. "That's good to know."

Lily smiled and wiped away her tears. "At least one good thing came out of this." Sam gave her a weird look. She laughed. "Your hair looks fantastic!" She laughed and the girls hugged. "Wait until I tell James about what Sirius did! He will kill that piece of trash!"

She pulled away from her. "No, he won't."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed. "He won't care, Lily."

Lily rolled her eyes and laughed. "Sammy, of course, he cares! You are his little sister!"

"He knew about it."

"What? He couldn't have known about it! He was the one who suggested that you two get married!"

Sam's chin trembled. "Sirius told me that James and Andromeda knew. They knew and didn't say anything."

"How can you believe what Sirius said? He has lied to you from day one!"

She sighed again. Lily looked so upset that Sam felt bad for telling her. "I know he wasn't lying this time, Lily. He didn't even mean to tell me. He got angry and let it slip." Lily shook her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you."

She looked at her and sighed. "I'm glad you told me. We both had a right to know and we should have been told sooner. I got off easy compared to you. You got tricked into marrying that moron."

"Are you mad at me for telling you?"

Lily hugged her. "No, I'm not." They started to cry. "I'm going to miss you. I hated it when you were first sent away and I know I'm going to hate it this time too."

Sam smiled. "I'm going to miss you too, Lily. Promise me that you will write to me. Tell me everything that happens while I'm away!"

She laughed. "I promise I will as long as you promise to get better soon."

They hugged again. "I promise, Lily."


	56. Chapter 55: Day Dreams And Reality

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay. I won't bore you with the details. This chapter is ok. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 55: Day Dreams And Reality.

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Harold walked out into the hall while he levitated Sam's trunk towards the stairs. Sam and Lily were busy looking around in case Sam forgot anything in her room. He stopped in front of Sirius' door and knocked softly. He didn't want Sam to know he was going to try and talk to him. The door opened and James rubbed his eyes. "What's going on?" He whispered while yawning.

He looked around and sighed. "I thought you should know that Sam and Lily are leaving soon." He shook his head. "How is he doing?"

James sighed. "Well, he is a complete wreck. He has been crying all night and didn't sleep at all. He worked himself up so much that he finally fell asleep."

"You have to try and wake him up."

"Why would I do that? Why do you want me to wake him up?"

"Sammy is leaving him." James nodded slowly. "She is still in love with him." James opened his mouth but he stopped him from talking. "You know it's true." He nodded. "If he just tells her he is sorry and just tried to stop her, maybe she won't go and maybe she will stay with him."

"Dad, why are you insisting that they stay together?"

"They are married now. She can't just give up after only a few hours. She never gives up on anything. She will regret it if she gives up now." James sighed. "She loves him and he loves her. Whatever happened between them, they can work through it. He just has to stop her from leaving."

He nodded. "I understand what you are saying, Dad...but why not wait until Sammy cools down?"

Harold looked down at the ground and sighed. "There isn't enough time for that." James looked at him curiously. "Promise me that you will try and wake him up." He nodded. "Promise me that you will try and help them get back together."

"I promise I will, Dad."

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Sirius was staring at the ceiling. James had told him about Sam and Lily leaving. He also mentioned the conversation he had with his father. It was strange. He appreciated the fact that…well…his father wanted to help save his marriage. He just didn't understand why he was so eager to help.

He blinked and sighed. He wanted nothing more than to have her back with him. He loved her but she didn't want him. She didn't love him. "That's not true, Madman."

Sirius sat up and looked around the room. He could have sworn that he heard her voice. "I'm going crazy." He mumbled as he fell back down on the bed.

The bed sagged and his eyes widened. Sam was smiling at him. He could only blink. She was wearing his shirt. "Are you sure that this isn't real?" He nodded. "How can you be so sure, love?"

He shook his head slowly. "This isn't real. If it was…you wouldn't be in here with me right now."

Sam lay down next to him and rested her head on his chest. He gasped. She felt real. "Do you know how much I love you?" She whispered as she looked him in the eye. He shook his head. "I love you more than anything in this entire world. You are all I've ever wanted, Sirius."

"You said you hated me."

She laughed. "I was upset by what you told me. Don't you say anything you don't mean when you're upset?" He nodded. "I love you. I love only you."

He smiled slowly. "Do you mean that, Sammy?"

"Of course I do!"

"Will you stay with me forever?"

Sam kissed him and he let out a sigh of relief. "I want nothing more than to be with you forever. Do you want me to stay with you forever?"

Sirius nodded eagerly and started to cry again. "All I've ever wanted is you. I need you so much, Sammy."

She hugged him. "Baby, don't cry. I'm here with you right now. I'm here with you always."

He caressed her cheek and smiled when she leaned into his touch. "We are going to be happy together, aren't we?"

She smiled. "Yes, we will be happy together." He smiled. "I only feel truly alive when I'm with you."

"I feel the same way."

"I only feel alive when I'm in your arms."

"Sammy, you won't leave me, will you?"

She kissed him. "I could never leave you. You are my greatest strength and my greatest weakness."

"Sirius, she is leaving! Hurry up!" James yelled from downstairs.

Sirius sat up and stared at her. "This is just a daydream, isn't it?" She nodded. "Why did you lie?"

Sam sighed. "You need to know I will always love you. This may be just a daydream but what I'm saying is real. I love you, Sirius. I need you."

"Then why are you leaving me?"

"I want you to come after me. If you come after me then I know you truly love me."

"Sirius, hurry up! She is leaving!" James yelled.

She had a panicked look on her face. "Sirius, you have to go now! If I leave, there is a chance you won't get me back. I need you to come find me. Go after me, Sirius. Never let me go!"

"Sammy-"

"Sirius, there is no time! Just go and stop me from leaving!"

He jumped out of bed and ran to the door. "I'm coming, Sammy. I won't let you leave." He flew open the door and ran out of the room.

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Sam walked out of her room and stopped in front of Sirius' door. She didn't hear anything. She sighed before going to the stairs. Her walking was slow and she kept looking back at his door. He was…no, she couldn't let herself worry about him. He did this to himself!

She smiled when she saw Lily waiting for her in the living room. She walked over to her and didn't realize she was still looking back at the stairs. She didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it disappointed her that he wasn't there and it didn't seem as if he would be there. Lily gave her a look and sighed when she hugged her. "You want him back, don't you?" She whispered in her ear.

Sam shook her head slowly. She, once again, looked back at the stairs. "No, I don't. I'm just scared about leaving."

"I don't believe you but I'll accept your answer." Sam rolled her eyes. "Do you want him back, Sammy?"

She looked at her best friend and smiled. "I can't be with him anymore, Lily. He has lied to me, cheated on me, and hurt me so deeply that I'm at the point where I'd be a complete idiot to stay." Lily gave her a look and she laughed. "I'm being serious!" They scrunched up their faces. "It's over between us, Lily. There is no way I am going back to him" She nodded and it seemed like she believed her. "What about you and James? You are still staying with him, aren't you?"

She eyed her closely. "I thought you were mad at him?"

She laughed. "I am mad at him! Believe me, if he says a word to me, I'm punching him…but he is still my brother unfortunately. Plus, I want to make sure you are ok before I leave."

Lily nodded and hugged her. "I don't know what's going to happen between us. He lied to us both. He knew about everything and still suggested that you marry him. He could have told us but he didn't. James is going to have to work very hard to get our trust back."

"That is very true."

Harold and Evelyn walked into the room and smiled when they saw the girls hugging. He shrunk Sam's trunk and put it in his pocket. "Do you girls have everything?" He asked. They nodded.

Evelyn hugged them. "Lily, it has been a pleasure having you here with us despite…certain things happening."

She blushed. "Thank you, Mrs. Potter. I love coming here."

Harold smiled as he hugged her. "Please, call us Harold and Evelyn. You are a part of our family, you know."

Her blush grew as she smiled at him. "Thank you…um…Harold?"

Sam smiled at them. She was happy that her parents loved and accepted Lily as a part of the family. She looked away from them and stared at the stair with an unknown longing in her eyes. "_You still love him. All you want is for him to come running down the stairs and beg you to stay. You want him to beg you to stay and to forgive him. Just go to him. He needs you and you need him. Just stay and be with him._" Her heart said. She shook her head aggressively. "_He doesn't deserve you! If you stay, you will fall for his crap again! Don't fall for it! Leave now and you will be free of the pain he has caused. Just leave now and you will be alright!_" Her head said. Sam groaned. "Is it ok if we leave now?" She blurted out. She didn't want to continue with the internal struggle that was going on inside of her. They stared at her in surprise. She blushed. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude but I'm anxious to leave."

Evelyn nodded slowly. "Ok, Sammy, we can go." She turned to Lily. "Lily, would you like to leave first?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I'd like to watch Sam leave. Is that alright?"

"That's fine, dear." She smiled at them. "Say goodbye girls so we can leave."

The girls turned to each other and started to cry as they hugged. They held onto each other for dear life. "Promise me that you will write." Sam whispered in her ear.

She nodded. "I promise. Promise me that you will get back to us soon."

She smiled. "I promise." They hugged each other again. "I'm going to miss you, Lily."

"I'm going to miss you too, Sammy."

They held hands as they walked to the fireplace. They stopped when they heard his voice. They scowled when they saw him run down the stairs. "Sammy, wait up!"

James ran to them and smiled. "Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye to your big brother?" She shrugged. He sighed and hugged her. "Please, don't go." He whispered.

"Where's that punch?" Lily muttered.

Sam laughed but rolled her eyes when James stared at them curiously. "I have to go, James."

He grabbed her hand when she tried to walk away. "No, you don't. You can stay."

She tried to pull her hand away. "Let me go, James."

Their parents stared at them closely. They had no idea what was going on. He sighed. "Why are you acting this way?" He tightened his hold on her when she wouldn't look at him. "You don't have to do this! Just talk to him! He is sorry for whatever it is he did! If you just saw him…if you saw how much of a wreck he is, you would know how sorry he is."

Sam looked at Lily. "Can you help me out here?"

Lily smiled. "Now is the time for that punch." She whispered.

She smiled and, without realizing it, looked back at the stairs. James smiled. His dad was right. They weren't over. They weren't even close to being over. "Sirius, she is leaving! Hurry up!" He yelled.

Their eyes widened. Sam yanked her hand away and punched him in the eye. James fell to the floor and held his eye. He scowled when Lily cheered. He saw Sam staring at the stairs with a look of fear that he might actually come down and a hint of hope that he might actually come down to stop her from leaving. "You are such a prat, James!"

He looked at her with shock in his eyes. "What did I do wrong? I'm just trying to fix the marriage you screwed up!"

Lily growled at him. "That's enough, James!"

James stood up slowly. "No, it isn't! Just because he said some stuff to her, she is throwing away everything!"

Sam punched him again. He fell to the floor. "You are an ass! I didn't screw up my marriage, he did!"

"He made a mistake!" She rolled her eyes and glared at him. "Why are you mad at me? You are leaving him! I'm not forcing you to leave!"

"You knew and didn't tell me! You knew what he did and still suggested that we get married!"

He paled. "What?"

She gave him a pathetic look and he felt guilty. "You are my brother. You knew what he did and you chose to protect him instead of telling me the truth! I hate you, James!" She turned to her shocked looking parents. "Can we please leave?" They nodded. She hugged Lily. "I'll write to _you _soon."

"Goodbye, Sammy." Lily walked with her and they stood in front of the fireplace. "I'll write to you often."

James looked at her pleadingly. "Sammy, don't go! Please, just talk to him!"

Sam looked at him in disgust. "I am leaving, James. I won't talk to him. I won't forgive him. I'm going to St. Mungo's and I'm going to stay there as long as I need to. When I go back to school, I still won't talk to him. You and _your brother_ can just go to hell for all I care."

Harold put a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Samantha, it's time to go."

"Sirius, hurry up! She is leaving!" James yelled while smirking at his sister.

"James, I'm going to hurt you for that!" Sam yelled as she lunged at him. She was stopped when her father grabbed her around her waist. "You better pray that I don't get loose, you git!"

He dragged his daughter into the fireplace. "Let's go, Evelyn. If we wait anymore, she will get loose." Evelyn ran to the fireplace. "We will see you later, James."

He glared at his sister. "You are a spoiled brat!"

She growled and tried to break free so she could beat him up. "I am NOT a spoiled brat! You are a sorry excuse for a human being!"

"You ARE a spoiled brat! You are leaving just because things don't go your way! I can't believe I'm related to someone as selfish as you!"

"I'm not selfish! You, my brother, chose his best friend over his only sister! You helped him make sure that we got married so when he confessed the truth I couldn't leave! The two of you manipulated the situation just to get what you wanted!"

He rolled his eyes. "That isn't true! You would know that if you got off your high horse and actually talked to him!"

"I'm not going to talk to him! I'm not going to talk to you either! I hate you!"

James shrugged. "That's nice. I don't care if you hate me! I wish you were never born!" Her eyes widened. "I wish you weren't my sister!"

Sam slumped against her father. "Fine. Your wish is granted."

"What are you going on about now?"

"You don't want me to be your sister? Well, as of this moment, you don't have a sister!"

Lily glared at James. "Sam, just go! Your brother and I have to have a very important talk."

"What the hell do we have to talk about?" Lily punched him in the eye. He fell to the ground and groaned. "Ow! What the hell was that?"

Lily looked at the stairs when she heard footsteps running towards the stairs. She looked at Sam and saw that she didn't hear a thing. Sam had tears in her eyes while she stared at James. "Sammy, you better go." She turned back to James. He was glaring at her. "Don't you dare look at me like that, James! You deserved it! You were acting like a prat!"

Harold and Evelyn were in complete shock. Normally, they would have put a stop to their fighting at once but they were so surprised that they could barely move. Harold saw his daughter crying. He looked at his wife. "It's time to go."

Evelyn nodded and sighed. "Here we go."

Sirius ran down the stairs and tripped. He fell to the floor and groaned. He looked up and saw Sam crying. "Sammy, don't go!" He yelled as she disappeared in the flames. He put his forehead against the hard wood floor and started crying again. "She's gone."

Lily glared as James eased up and walked over to Sirius. He helped him up and Sirius leaned on him. "Mate, it's going to be ok. She'll come back to you."

He held onto him tightly. "She is gone, James. I've lost her again." He was sobbing heavily. "I thought she knew I loved her. I thought she knew she was my everything."

She blinked. She couldn't believe her eyes. James wasn't lying. Sirius was completely broken without Sam. She felt bad for him but he deserved it. She watched as James eased Sirius down on the couch. "Sam is just mad. She knows all of that. She just needs some time to cool down. She loves you, Padfoot. Don't lose hope."

"James, don't tell him that!"

Sirius looked up in surprise. "Lily, you're here?" She rolled her eyes. He ran to her and grabbed her by her arms. She gasped when she saw his swollen eyes. "You can help me! Sammy will listen to you! I need you to tell her how sorry I am and that I love her." She tried to pull away from him but he pulled her into a tight hug and cried into her shoulder. "I need her to come back to me. I need her so much, Lily!"

James sighed and pulled him off of her. "Sirius, let's get you to bed. Lily will talk to her for you."

"I will do no such thing!"

They went still and stared at her. "What?" They asked in unison.

Lily rolled her eyes again. "I will not help you. You two lied to her and to me. You hurt us and it's going to take a long time to get our trust back."

James adjusted his hold on Sirius and rolled his eyes. "That's complete bullshit! Yes, we should have had said something sooner but we didn't lie really."

She glared at him. "Yes, you did! You knew and still suggested that they get married. You didn't tell me and we are supposed to tell each other everything!"

"Lily, get over yourself! It's not that big a deal!"

"James, if you don't understand why Sam and I are upset then maybe you aren't the person I thought you were."

His breathing slowed. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't tell us the truth, you told Sam you wished she was never born when she was obviously upset over what happened and you can't understand why we are angry with the two of you. James, you aren't who I thought you were. I thought you were a kind, loyal, and loving brother and friend but you just proved me wrong. You are only loyal to Sirius and yourself."

"What are you saying, Lily?"

"We are over. We are over and I'm not sure if I will take you back when you finally realize what you did wrong."

James couldn't feel his legs. "L-Lily, you can't mean that."

She sighed. "I do. Goodbye, James." With a blink of an eye, she was gone.

Sirius and James sat down on the couch slowly. "I can't believe she just broke up with me." He muttered. He growled. "This is all Sam's fault!"

"No, it isn't. It's my fault. I'm sorry, James."

He shook his head. "You made a few mistakes but this isn't your fault. I don't blame you. I blame my ex-sister for this. She told Lily about everything. That little brat should have kept her mouth shut."

"It is my fault. Because of me, we have both lost the girls we love."

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They were completely silent. They were trying to digest all the information. They were shocked. They were confused. They were…they didn't know what they were. They were just in a daze. They didn't hear the knock on the door and they didn't hear it open. The door closed and the floor creaked when the footsteps walked over to them. "What's wrong?" They looked up and stared at him like they never seen him before. Remus smiled at them. "Come on, tell me what's wrong." They sighed in unison. "What part of the letter are you up to now?"

Ron looked at the others before looking back at him. "She left him." He whispered.

He stared at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Ginny shook her head. She was still in shock by what they read. "Sam left Sirius."

Remus laughed. "Which time are you talking about? The beginning of our seventh year?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, not that time. We are talking about after they got married to prevent her from being sent away."

He sat down on the bed and sighed. He noticed that they were watching him closely. "What do you want me to say? She did leave him and she had every right to."

"Does she go back to him?" Ginny asked with hope filled eyes.

"Do Lily and James get back together?" Ron asked. They stared at him in disbelief at his stupidity and shook their heads. He blushed. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "Does she go back to him, Professor Lupin?"

"Call me Remus. I haven't been your professor for a long while." They nodded. "I can't tell you that, Hermione." They groaned. "Once you finish the letter, you can ask me anything you want." They nodded reluctantly. He stared at Harry who had been extremely quiet. "Harry, are you alright?"

Harry was staring at the floor and sighed. He looked up and they were staring at him with concern. He took a deep breath. He had a lot of information thrown at him in a short amount of time and he was still trying to understand it all. "I-I'm fine." They continued to stare. He shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say. I guess I'm still in shock by what we read."

Remus nodded. "That is understandable. You learned a lot today." They nodded. Ginny rested her head on Harry's shoulder and sighed. "Mrs. Weasley sent me up here to tell you that it's time for bed." They groaned and he laughed. "I'm just delivering the message. Plus, it is rather late and you have had a lot of information thrown at you. I think it would be a good idea if you got some rest and continue to read the letter tomorrow."

They nodded and walked out of the room. Harry stayed behind. He placed the letter down on the bed side table with care and sighed. He walked out of the room and into the room he shared with Ron. Ron was already in bed and looked at him when he entered. He yawned as he watched him get ready for bed. "Are you alright, mate?"

He finished changing into his pajamas and got into bed before he answered. "I'm fine." He sighed. "It's just a lot of information to take in, I guess."

Ron nodded. "I understand that." He rested his head on his pillow and yawned again "I hope James and Lily get back together." He muttered as his eyes closed. Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, mate. We will finish the letter tomorrow and…"

Harry looked up. "And what?" He didn't receive an answer. All he got was a loud snore out of Ron. He shook his head. "Git."

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Harry was startled awake. A noise woke him out of his deep sleep. The room was pitch black and he couldn't see a damn thing. He was about to go back to sleep when he heard a noise by the dresser. He squinted his eyes and tried to see what caused the noise. He saw movement on top of the dresser and reached for his wand blindly. He could make out a figure sitting top of the dresser. His eyes widened when he saw a girl sitting there watching him and she was in her school robes. "Who's there?" He said quietly. He was afraid to speak up in case he woke Ron. Harry kept looking at her but couldn't make out her face. "Who's there?"

He heard her let out a loud laugh. "Who do you think it is?" She said. His eyebrows furrowed together. He couldn't see her face but somehow knew she was smiling at him. He gripped his wand tightly. "What exactly do you think you are going to do with your wand?"

Harry eyed the figure closely. "I was thinking about hexing you." She laughed again. "What's so funny? I could do it, you know?"

She jumped off of the dresser with ease and walked closer to him. He gulped. "Are you frightened of me?"

"Why would I be?" She laughed loudly again. He glared at her. He was getting annoyed that she kept laughing at his attempts to threaten her. He was also annoyed that she was being rather loud. "Do you mind keeping it down? I don't want to wake up the entire house!" He growled.

She smiled and walked over to Ron's bed. He eyed her closely and gasped when she started jumping on Ron's bed and screaming in his ear. He was surprised when Ron didn't move and just let out another snore. She got off his bed and turned towards Harry. She smirked at him. "See? No one can hear you scream!" He made to get out of his bed but stopped when she laughed again. "I was only joking, Harry!" He blinked and she rolled her eyes. "Put on your glasses, Harry. I'm sick of you squinting at me."

Harry put on his glasses but that didn't help. He could barely see anything. He saw her standing in the middle of the room while fixing her ponytail. He didn't understand how he couldn't see anything but still knew what she was doing and he couldn't understand if he could, technically, see her but couldn't make out her face. He watched her movements. She was looking around the room with curiosity. He didn't know how he knew but he could sense that she had a small smile on her face. "W-Who are you? How do you know my name?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Who doesn't know Harry Potter?"

Harry glared at her. "Who are you? What do you want?"

She stared at him and didn't seem bothered one bit by his glare. "You know who I am and you know why I'm here."

"If I knew that then I wouldn't be asking now, would I? Tell me who you are!"

She smirked. "You are a demanding piece of work, aren't you?"

"Either tell me who you are or leave!"

"You know who I am…nephew."


	57. Chapter 56:Who You Are And Once Were

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating. My computer can be an evil ungrateful whore at times. I'll try to update sooner. The previous chapter's music was "You Won't Let Me Go" By Ray Charles. If you want to hear it but don't have it, I'll email it to you. This chapter is eh ok I guess. I hope you like it. It's really not that great. My beta loved it though but she loves everything I write. She is addicted to this story as she is addicted to my other story that I'm posting on my livejournal. Anyway, I hope you like it. Read and, please, review. Goodbye for now!

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Chapter 56: Who You Were And Once Was.

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"You know who I am…nephew." 

Harry blinked. "What…what did you just call me?"

She rolled her eyes. "I called you nephew."

"W-Why would you call me that?"

"How thick are you, Potter?"

Harry glared at her. "I'm not thick!" She gave him a disbelieving look and he sneered. "You have no reason to call me nephew. The only aunt I've got would never be able to come here and if she could, she wouldn't. So, who the bloody hell are you?"

She walked over to his bed and he watched her. "Obviously, that isn't true. You know for a fact that you have another aunt."

His eyes widened. "W-What…no! This can't be happening!"

She sat down on his bed and he moved away from her as much as he could. "Don't be frightened of me, Harry."

He sighed when he heard the sadness in her voice. "You did say that no one could hear me scream." He muttered.

She laughed. "I was only having a bit of fun!" He glared at her again. "Tell me who I am, Harry."

Harry opened his mouth to speak but shook his head instead. "No, it can't be. It's impossible!"

"Why do you say that?"

"You can't be her! You just can't be!"

"And why not?"

He took a moment to think of an answer but shrugged. "I don't know."

She smiled. "Tell me who I am, Harry. Do it for yourself so you can believe it's true."

"Are…are you…are you Sam?"

Sam let out a giddy laugh and bowed slightly. "That is who I am! Give the boy a gold star!"

Harry stared at her for a long time before shaking his head. "I don't understand. How can you be her?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She laughed when he gave her a look. "I just am, Harry. I am your aunt." He just stared at her in shock. She rolled her eyes. "Go ahead and ask me. I know you are dying to."

He gulped. "Are you…dead?"

Sam gave him a look. "Do you honestly believe that if I was alive that I would let you live with those horrible muggles for even a second?"

Harry put his head down in shame and sighed. "No, I guess, you wouldn't have." She smiled in satisfaction. "So, let me get this straight. You, my aunt that I've never known about until today and that turns out to be dead, are here with me in my room." She nodded and shrugged. "How is this possible?"

Sam gave him a gentle smile. "I had to see you." He nodded slowly. "Plus, we decided that it would be best if I saw you now. We knew you would be upset and confused so, here I am."

He looked up with interest. "What do you mean by 'we'?" She continued to smile. A wide smile appeared on his face. "D-Do you mean Sirius?" She had a twinkle in her eye and nodded. It took him a moment before it sunk in. "You meant Mum and Dad as well?" Her smile grew as she nodded again. He looked around the room frantically. "Are they here as well? I can't see them."

She sighed sadly. "They didn't come with me, Harry."

His face fell. "Why not?"

"They are a bunch of chicken shits, that's why." She let out a yelp and Harry stared at her with concern. She looked up at the ceiling and glared. "That wasn't very nice, Lily!" She grumbled.

Harry looked at her like she was crazy. "What…who are you talking to?"

Sam looked at him while rubbing her head. "Your mother just hit me on my head for telling the truth. She can be so mean sometimes." He laughed when she let out another yelp. She took a deep breath while she rubbed her head. "Also, your father and Sirius are the biggest gits I know!" She yelled.

He stifled his laughter. "A-Are they hitting you?" She nodded and grumbled. "Why are they hitting you?"

"They didn't like the answer I gave you. They weren't pleased that I called them chicken shits."

"Well, they are." He let out a yelp when he felt something hit his head. "What the hell was that?"

She laughed and looked at the ceiling. "Sirius, don't hit him!"

Harry rubbed his head and stared at her. "Why didn't they come but keep hitting us?"

Sam smiled at him. "Hopefully, I won't get hit for saying this." He stared at her. "Since you've already met them and not me, they thought it would be a good idea for us to meet." He nodded slowly. "Plus, they…mostly Sirius…were afraid that you would be angry about never hearing about me before today. I told them that you had every reason to be upset but that you would be overjoyed to see them."

He nodded again. "I am upset. It would have been nice to know about you sooner." She nodded. "I would still like to see them." She smiled. He looked up at her and she was surprised by the sadness on his face. "Don't they want to see me?" She gave him a sad look. "Don't they miss me? D-Doesn't Sirius miss me?"

Sam had tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him. At first he stiffened at her touch but soon relaxed. He didn't understand it but knew he felt safe in her arms. It all felt familiar but he knew that it wasn't. He knew she never met him and she never hugged him before. She cradled him in her arms and kissed his head. "Of course they want to see you. They miss you everyday. We have watched you grow up into such a wonderful man. Sirius has told us all about you. We are all so proud of you, Harry. We love you so much."

Harry pulled back and let her wipe away his tears. He touched her face. "I can touch you. I can feel you." She smiled and nodded eagerly. He jumped at her and she was surprised when he hugged her tightly. She closed her eyes and held him. "How is this possible?" He whispered.

She touched his cheek. "You wanted to meet me." He nodded. "Sometimes, when the people we love need to see us, they get their wish. Do you understand?"

"You knew I needed to see you…to meet you to make sure you were real and you…got permission to see me?" She nodded. He smiled and hugged her again. She laughed when he tightened his hold on her. "It's really you! I can't believe it's really you!" He exclaimed. He pulled back and stared at her with the widest smile. "What do I call you?"

Sam shrugged. "You can call me anything you want." She looked at him closely and remembered who his father was. "You can call me anything you want within reason."

Harry laughed and nodded. "Is it ok if I call you Sam?" She nodded. He looked so excited that she was surprised that he didn't burst. "Can you give them a message for me, Sam?"

She shook her head. "No, I can't."

"Why not?"

She smiled and winked at him. "They can hear what you say, Harry. They can hear you and I can hear them. Think of me as the messenger between you and them." He looked up at the ceiling and smiled. "Yes, they can see you too."

He continued to stare at the ceiling and waved awkwardly. "This is not normal." He muttered. She laughed. He blushed. "Um…Sirius? Can you hear me?" He looked at Sam. "Can he hear me?"

Sam nodded. "He can hear you, sweetie."

Harry took a deep breath. "Sirius, I-I just…wanted to thank you."

"He wants to know why you are thanking him."

He sighed. "Thank you for…everything. I-I never had…I never knew my parents and for some time you made me feel like I had someone to go to when I needed someone for the first time. For the first time…I had someone who loved and cared about me. I just wanted you to know how much that meant to me. I wanted you to know how much you meant and how much you still mean to me."

She smiled at him. "Do you want to know what he has to say?" He nodded eagerly. "He says he loves you. You are like a son to him. He was so happy to have the chance to know you as a baby and as a young man."

Harry hugged her and she sighed when he started to cry. "I miss him. I miss him all the time."

Her heart broke for him. Sam held his face in her hands and smiled. "He misses you too. He misses you so much, sweetheart." His chin trembled as he nodded. "He…he loves you very much. We all love you and our biggest regret was not being able to be with you." She cradled him in her arms. "I never meant to make you sad, Harry. I thought if you knew that you could talk to them, you would be happy."

He pulled away and wiped his eyes. "I am happy, Sam. I finally got to tell him how much he meant to me."

Sam smiled when he started to stare at her oddly. "Why are you looking at me like that, Harry?" He didn't say anything and just stared at her. She smiled. "What do you want to ask me?"

Harry held out his hand and touched her cheek cautiously. "Why can't I see you?"

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

"I can see everything but your face. Why is that?"

She was silent. She looked up at the ceiling and nodded. He stared at her in confusion. "From what they tell me…you aren't ready to see me just yet."

"I don't understand."

She shrugged. "You have never seen my picture, right?" He nodded. "You aren't ready to see me yet."

"Why not? I have read so much about you but I can't see your face? That doesn't make any sense!"

"It is what it is, Harry. I don't have a better explanation than that." She sighed. "Have you finished the letter yet?"

Harry nodded awkwardly. "Yes, I have."

Sam laughed. "You know, it's not nice to lie to your aunt, Harry."

"How did you know I was lying?" He slapped his head and groaned. "I'm so stupid."

She smiled and ruffled his hair. "You aren't stupid, Harry. You just lie as well as your father."

He laughed. "Dad was a bad liar?"

She nodded. "When it came to me, he usually was. It was a different story when it came to the professors at school. He was the master of all liars when it came to them…just like you are." Harry smiled. "Plus, you didn't know I was dead. That was the big clue." He laughed and shrugged. She continued to smile at him. "You have a lot more questions to ask me." He nodded. "You can ask me anything you want but I have to warn you that I can't answer all of your questions, ok?" He nodded again. "You may begin."

Harry was so excited. He couldn't think straight. His thoughts were jumbled and blurted out the first thing that popped into his mind. "Do my parents get back together?"

Sam stared at him like he was the stupidest thing she ever saw and he groaned. "Harry that is the stupidest thing I've ever been asked and that's saying a lot! That's saying a lot because your git of a dad was my brother and I was married to Sirius." She yelped twice and glared at the ceiling. "I was only stating a fact!" She yelped again. "I hate you!" He saw her flinch. "Stop hitting me, James! Sirius, I will find a way to hurt you! Lily, control them, please?" She rubbed her head and grumbled while she looked back at Harry. "Do you have another question to ask me?" He blushed and she laughed. "It's going to be a long night if you keep asking me questions like that!" His blush grew and she sighed. "Yes, they do. They got married and had you, didn't they?" He laughed and nodded. "Why did you ask me that?"

He smiled. "Ron asked that question before." She continued to smile at him. "I was just so excited and I couldn't think of anything else to ask." She laughed and he felt comforted by that. "Can I ask you something else?"

Sam nodded. "As long as they aren't as great as the first question." He laughed and nodded. "What would you like to ask me?"

He was practically beaming and she had to stop herself from laughing at him. "Do you and Sirius get back together?" She sighed. "He loved you, Sam. Please, tell me that you go back to him."

"I can't answer that, Harry." He groaned. "I told you that you could ask me anything but I couldn't answer all of your questions." He nodded slowly. "What else do you want to ask me?"

"Did you love him?" He mumbled.

She looked at him closely. "What did you say?"

Harry looked up and gave her a small smile. "Did…did you love him?"

Sam sighed before smiling. "Did I love who?" He gave her a look and she laughed lightly. "That is a very good question, Harry. Did I love him?" He rolled his eyes and she laughed again. "Yes, I did." She groaned and rubbed her head. "I was getting to that Sirius!" She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I do. I've loved him since I met him." A warm smile spread across her face and Harry was surprised to see a blush creep across her cheeks. "I love him more than anything in this entire world." His smile grew. "There are different types of love. I love your father and mum so much but when it comes to Sirius…" She bit her lip and let out at tiny giggle. Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing. "He is…my true love, Harry. I fell in love with him once I met him…as you know." Harry nodded. She laughed. "I must be boring you with this."

He shook his head aggressively. "No, you're not! I want to hear about it!"

She smiled. "Harry, when I saw him for the first time…my heart stopped and sped up at the same time!" He smiled. Even though he read about her feelings for his godfather, it was nice to hear it from her. "It was like time sped up and slowed down. He was and always will be my heart, you know?" He nodded. "He's my soul mate. Despite all the problems we had and the drama we had to deal with and created for ourselves, he was the only one that made me whole. Whenever I was with him, even when he annoyed me and even when we fought, I felt complete. I felt like I was home."

Harry just stared at her. She was glowing. He felt a sense of warmth flow in his chest. "Did you regret leaving him?"

"Which time are you talking about?"

"After the attack. After you two got married."

She sighed. "I do but it had to be done." He looked at her. "I was a mess, Harry. A lot of bad stuff happened to me in such a short amount of time. Sirius broke my heart, I…well…I was hanging around Snape." Harry groaned and she blushed. "I wished that he didn't put that in the letter. He could have left out a lot of certain things." He nodded eagerly. "I-I can't explain why I went to him, Harry. There is no excuse for the way I acted. I can't take it back." She sighed. "Anyway, I just found out that I was a dream seer and then I was sent away. Sirius…it was hard when I came back from St. Mungo's. Sirius was trying to be my friend but also tried to get me back. I was still…um…seeing Remus." He blushed. "Then the attack happened. I was a complete wreck."

"So, you only married Sirius because you didn't want to be sent away again and because you weren't thinking straight?"

Her eyes widened. "No, of course not! I wanted to marry him because I love him, Harry! It's just…I needed to go back. When he told me what he did…I cracked. I was losing control and if I stayed with him, I would have only gotten worse. As much as I hated to leave him, I needed to. Please, tell me you understand."

He sighed. "I understand, Sammy. It's just when I read about how broken he was after you left him, I just wasn't sure if you did love him."

She smiled. "Now you know I did and still do." She sighed. "Do you have another question?"

"Do you and my dad make up?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, we do. No matter how much we fought, we still loved and cared for each other. It just took some time to deal with all our problems."

He nodded. "That's good to know." He took a deep breath. "So, who do you end up with before you die?"

She laughed. "Nice try, Harry."

Harry laughed. "I had to ask." She smiled. "C-Can you tell me what it's like to be a dream seer? What is it exactly?"

"That I can tell you!" She told him exactly what she knew and he nodded. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand, Sammy."

Sam smiled. "I like that."

"What?"

"I like that you are comfortable enough to call me Sammy."

He shrugged. "I feel like I know you."

They hugged. "You do know me, Harry. I'm a part of you just like you are a part of me." She laughed. "I saw how upset you got when you read about Remus cheating on me. You made him feel really guilty."

Harry sighed. "I felt bad for you. You loved him and he hurt you." She nodded. "Did you keep your promise to him?" She gave him a curious look. "Did you always love him?"

"I did keep my promise. I will always love him. He had a special-" She glared at the ceiling. "Shut up, Sirius! I'm explaining something to Harry!" She rolled her eyes. "I swear he will never get over his jealousy!" He laughed. "Remus has a special place in my heart."

He sat against the head board and she followed. She wrapped her arms around him and he rested his head on her chest when she held him tightly. He looked at her. "I can hear your heartbeat."

"Yes, you can. It happens when I get to visit the people who need to see me so that they won't freak out." He smiled at her and closed his eyes and sighed when she kissed his forehead. "I'm…_we_ are so proud of you, Harry." Harry touched his scar and she shook her head. "Not because of that. I mean we are proud of you…beyond proud of you for that but we are proud of the man you are and of the man you will become." He smiled and blushed. She bit her lip before smiling. "We are crazy about Ginny too." His blush grew. "We never understood what you saw in that Cho girl and we are glad you got over her." He laughed lightly. "Ginny is perfect for you…she reminded me of myself when she first met you."

"Do you mean because you acted the same way she did when you first met _Uncle_ Sirius?"

She let out a loud laugh. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant." He watched her as she stared at the ceiling with a smile. "They really got a kick out of you calling him 'Uncle Sirius'."

Harry shrugged. "He was, technically, my uncle for a brief moment."

Sam smiled in a way that made him curious but he shrugged it off. Harry was staring at the ceiling with a sad look in his eyes. She eyed him closely and held him closer. She brushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled when he gave her a questioning look. "What's on your mind, sweet pea?" He shrugged. She caressed his cheek. "Come on, sweetheart. Tell Aunt Sammy what you're thinking about." He didn't say anything and she sighed. "Talk to me, Harry."

He sighed again. "I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about, sweet pea?"

"I was wondering if my parents knew…know how much I love them. I wonder if they know how much I miss them."

Sam smiled. "They know, Harry. They know and miss and love you so much." He nodded. "What else is on your mind?"

Harry looked up at her with anxious eyes. "Are my parents and Sirius still here with us? Can they still hear us?"

"Yes, they are. They can still hear us." She winked at him. "We watch you _all_ of the time. We hear everything."

He gulped. "Y-You…uh…watch me all the time?"

She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Yes, we do, _big daddy_." He paled and blushed at the same time. "You've got to stop saying that to her. She doesn't like it." He groaned. "And that other thing you think she likes, she doesn't."

"How do you know…_that_?"

"A woman can always tell." She groaned. "We aren't talking about anything, Lily!" She looked at him and whispered in his ear again. "We didn't tell her about all that. We always suggest that she haunt her sister so she won't know what her sweet little boy is doing with his little girlfriend." He wouldn't look at her. He was too embarrassed. "Ok, let's stop talking about that." He sighed in relief. "What's on your mind, sweetie?"

Harry sighed. "I…uh…I…"

Sam kissed his forehead and smiled encouragingly at him. "What is it? You can tell me anything, sweet pea."

He looked so sad that her heart broke for him. "S-Sirius…I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

Harry didn't realize it but he started to cry. She tightened her hold on him. He buried his head in her neck and held onto her tightly. "It was my fault, Sammy! It's my fault he died!"

Her eyes widened. "Harry, no, it wasn't!" She held his face in her hands while he continued to cry. "Baby, it wasn't your fault! He doesn't blame you, ok?"

His chin trembled. "It was my fault, Sammy. If it wasn't for me then he would still be alive."

She shook her head. "If only you could hear how much he is yelling at me right now." He gave her a curious look as tears fell down his cheeks. "He is upset that you think that. He is yelling at me because he wants me to tell you how wrong you are." She sighed. "Sweetheart, he loves you so much. Sirius wanted to go after you. He wanted to make sure that you were safe. He felt that since…this is his reasoning…that since he failed your parents, he didn't want to fail you too."

"I-If I didn't have that dream-"

Sam stopped him. "Dreams can mislead us. Believe me, I know they can. You thought he was in trouble and went to save him. You risked your life to protect someone you love. When he found out about what happened…he was…he knew there was still someone out there that loved him despite his faults. Sirius wanted to protect you too. He didn't care if he lived or died. The only thing that mattered to him was your safety."

"I love him, Sam. I miss him all the time. He was like…it was like for the first time since my parents died that I had someone who loved me. It was like I had a father."

She smiled. "You were like a son to him." She cradled him in her arms and brought the covers up to his shoulders when he yawned. "I still have visions, you know?"

"But you are dead."

Sam nodded. "Yes, I am. Just because I'm dead doesn't stop me from being what I am. I learned that from my grandmother. She told me that I would still have dreams." He gave her a curious look. "You'll know what I mean when you continue reading the letter." He nodded slowly. "You are going to be great, Harry. You are going to be a great auror, a great husband and father."

He gulped. "I-I'm going to be a father?" She nodded. "N-Not anytime soon, right?"

She laughed. "No, not anytime soon. Don't worry, you are safe for now." She winked at him. "You have to remember that you can't be too over protective of your daughter…daughters." His eyes widened. "Tell Ron not to be too protective of them either or of his own daughters."

"Ron and I will have daughters?"

"Don't worry, sweet pea. The two of you will have sons too."

"Should you be telling me this?"

"No, I shouldn't but you need something to look forward to." He yawned. "I should go. You need your rest if you continue to read the letter tomorrow."

Harry stopped her from leaving. "Please, don't go!" She looked at him. "Can you stay for a little while longer, Aunt Sammy?"

Sam smiled. "That's a cheap trick, Harry." He beamed at her. "How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?" He nodded. "I'll sing you to sleep." He blushed. "It's a song I once sang to Sirius when he was upset."

"What is it?" He asked while yawning.

They lay down and she held him to her. "Close your eyes, sweet pea." He did as he was told and she sighed. "_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_…" He soon fell asleep.

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Harry groaned as the sun hit his eyes. He stretched out in his bed and reached for his glasses. He looked around and sighed. Sam was gone. He didn't expect her to stay but hoped that she would have. He nodded at Ron who was just waking up. They got dressed in silence and Harry was about to follow him out but stopped when he saw a small piece of parchment peeking out from under the covers. 

"_It wasn't a dream, sweet pea. We really did meet last night. I want you to remember that we love you and will always be there for you. Whenever you need to speak to us, just say our name and you will know we are there._

_Love always,_

_Aunt Sammy._

_P.S. You can show this to the others in case they don't believe you. And tell Remus that we miss him and love him very much. We hope that Tonks makes him happy and we are glad he got his head out of his ass long enough to realize that it is ok to love someone and let them in. It's nice to know that he finally realized that she is perfect for him…that she really is the one for him. We love you, Harry. I hope we can speak again._"

"Are you coming or what?" Ron yelled from the hall.

"Yeah, I'm coming right now!"

They walked down to the kitchen and Harry blushed when he saw Ginny sitting at the table eating and talking with Hermione. He sat down next to her and kissed her. She smiled at him and kissed him back. "What was that for?"

His blush grew and she looked at him curiously. "I love you, Ginny." He whispered in her ear.

Ginny smiled. "I love you too, Harry." He sighed in relief. "Are you ok?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. I just wanted you to know that I really do love you." Her smile grew. He leaned in and whispered in her ear again. "I'm sorry, Ginny."

"What are you sorry for?"

Harry stared at her for a moment before sighing. He whispered in her ear again and her eyes widened before she blushed. "I promise to never do those things again."

She laughed and kissed him. "It's ok, Harry. I'm glad you are stopping that though." He blushed. "H-How did you know?"

He shrugged. "I'll explain it later." She gave him a questioning look before nodding slowly. She began to eat and he watched her. He looked her up and down and smiled. "You'd make a great mum."

Ginny stopped moving and then turned to look at him. "What did you say, Harry?"

Harry smiled. "You will make a great mum, Ginny." She stared at him like he had three heads. He kissed her cheek. "I bet you are going to be even more beautiful when you are pregnant."

She just stared at him. "W-What are you talking about? What the hell has gotten into you?" He opened his mouth but she stopped him. "I know. You will tell me later."

"Charlie, it really happened! Just ask Bill!" Fred exclaimed.

The others stared at them. "What's going on?" Ron asked with a mouth full of food.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't speak with your mouth full, Ronald!"

Ron smiled at her. "I love you, Hermione."

She hid her smile. "Oh, shut up!" He laughed and kissed her cheek. "What are you talking about?"

Bill smiled at her. "I was just telling them about this girl that died in Egypt a while ago." They looked up at him with mild interest. "She was an intern from Hogwarts. She died during a sandstorm." Their eyes widened and stared at him. Remus stared at them and hid his smile. "It happened…I can't even remember when. The sandstorm happened in the afternoon and everyone ran to the caves for protection. She was there for about a month but didn't know about them. She saw everyone running to the caves but she was too slow. It's a shame really. I heard she was quite talented. She was going into her seventh year. She had a lot of potential."

Harry stared at his friends and they were all pale. They turned to look at Bill. "W-Who was she?" Ginny asked. "What was her name?"

He shrugged. They rolled their eyes. "Was her name…Samantha?" Harry asked quietly.

Bill shook his head. "No, I don't think so." They sighed in relief. "If you give me a minute, I will think of it." They watched him as he thought it over. "Yes, that's it!" Their eyes widened. "Her name was Abigail Lewis! That was her name!"

They stared at him in shock. "It was Michael's sister?" Hermione whispered.

"Yeah, it was. Michael Lewis was one of the supervisors. He was on business in London when it happened. He blamed himself for it. He promised his parents to look after her." Bill looked at them oddly. "Wait! How do you know Michael Lewis?"

Ron shook his head. "We don't know him really. We…uh…we just read about him somewhere."

Harry looked at his friends. "We have to talk before we go finish the letter." They nodded and got up to follow him into the living room. He turned to look at Remus. "Remus, c-can you come with us?"

Remus nodded slowly and followed them into the living room. He sat down next to Ron and stared at Harry as he stood in front of the fireplace. "What is this all about, Harry?"

He sighed. "I wanted to tell you all about what happened last night in my room."

Ron groaned. "If it involves Ginny, I don't want to know!"

Ginny's eyes widened as she blushed. She hit Ron upside his head as Remus and Hermione hid their laughter. "Ron, stop being such a git! I wasn't in his room last night!"

Harry coughed to get their attention. "No, it doesn't." Ron nodded and then winced when Ginny hit him on the head again. He glared at her as he rubbed his head. "It has to deal with my aunt." They looked up with interest. "I-I met her last night."

Remus' eyes were wide as saucers. "What do you mean you met her? That's impossible."

He nodded. "I know it is but it happened!" He had an excited look in his eye and they stared at him like he was crazy. "Don't look at me like that! I'm not crazy! I swear I met her last night!"

"Mate, isn't she…isn't she dead?" Ron asked.

Remus nodded. "She is dead, Ron." Harry looked at him. He smiled sadly. "Tell us what happened, Harry."

Harry sighed as he told them what happened. They were silent. "She...uh…sang me to sleep." He mumbled while he blushed. Remus smiled at him. "You guys believe me, don't you?"

Ron and Hermione shrugged awkwardly. Remus stared at the ground. "I believe you, Harry." Ginny said with a smile.

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Ginny." She nodded. He looked at the others. "Do you believe me?"

"Did she really jump on my bed and scream in my ear?" Ron asked. Harry nodded. "I didn't hear a thing."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't hear it if the house blew up when you are asleep!"

Harry laughed. He soon stopped when he saw the look on Remus' face. "A-Are you alright, Remus?"

Remus looked up and nodded. "I'm fine, Harry." He sighed. "You said that she gave you proof. What was it?"

He took the piece of parchment out of his pocket and handed it over to them. They each took turns reading it. He watched Remus as he read the letter and saw him smile slowly. "Sam…she told me that she still loved you."

He looked up. He saw them stare at him closely. "Did she?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, she did. Sammy said you had a special place in her heart and always would. She then started to yell at Sirius because he was acting like a jealous git." He flinched when he felt something hit his head. He groaned. "I was just telling the truth, Sirius." He muttered.

Remus laughed. "That sounds about right." He sighed. "Did she look ok?" He muttered. "Was she happy?"

He smiled. "I couldn't see her face but I could sense that she was happy. She seemed…at peace."

He smiled. "That's good. Sammy deserves to have some peace for once." He rubbed his eyes. "She didn't really have…she didn't have peace when she was alive. There was always something going on and with her visions…I'm glad she found peace after all."

Ginny stared at him. "Does it help?" Remus looked at her. "Does it help you to know that she found peace?" He smiled and nodded. "Does it help to know that she approves of your relationship with Tonks?"

Remus laughed and nodded. "Yes, it does. She always wanted me to be happy and I am. Her opinion always mattered to me and to know she approves of her helps."

Ron looked around at everyone and sighed. "Should we go upstairs and finish the letter?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, let's go." They stood up but Remus didn't move. "Are you coming, Remus?" He didn't answer. Harry stood in front of him and he finally looked up. "Do you want to finish the letter with us?"

He shook his head. "No, I think I'm going to stay here for a bit."

He nodded. "Alright." He started to walk away but stopped. He turned to look at him and sighed. "S-She told me that whenever I needed to talk to them, all I had to do was say their name and they would be there listening." Remus nodded slowly. "If you want to talk to her…or to Sirius or to my parents, just say their name and they will be here. They are always watching over us and listening. At least that's what Sammy said."

Remus nodded again. "Thank you, Harry." Harry nodded and walked out of the room. Remus looked around the room and sighed when he saw that he was alone. "Sammy?" He whispered. "Sammy, are you there?" He didn't know why but it felt like she was there with him. He smiled. "I still love you too, Sammy." He took a deep breath and smiled. "Thank you for your blessing. She really does make me happy." He looked at the ceiling. "We are going to have a baby, you know? It's a girl. We are going to name her Marissa." He smiled again. "I hope that that's ok." He sighed again. "I miss you all so much, Sammy. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I love and miss you all so much." He shook his head and laughed. "Of course you know that." He looked at the parchment in his hand and smiled. "I'm glad you found peace. You, of all people, deserved it." He bit back his tears. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I...if I would have just said something, you would still be alive…but I know it was something you had to do."

He got up and walked around the room. "I hope Sirius is taking care of you. Sirius, you got your wish to be with her again. Try not to screw it up, ok?" He flinched when something hit his head. He looked around the room to see what hit him. "What the bloody hell was that?" Remus stopped moving and looked up at the ceiling. "S-Sirius?" He was hit again. "Bloody hell!" He started to laugh. "You deserve peace too, mate. I'm glad you two have found each other again. The two of you belong together."

"Remus?"

He jumped and turned around. Tonks was staring at him closely. He took the sight of her in. Her hair was long and black with bubble gum pink highlights. She stood there watching him as she rubbed her round stomach. He smiled at her and couldn't believe how lucky he was…again. "Did you see the doctor?"

Tonks smiled and walked over to him. She tripped over her own feet and he was quick to catch her. She blushed when he held onto her. "I'm alright, Remus. I'm alright." He just shook his head and smiled. "I saw the doctor. Everything is just fine. Marissa is doing fine." He rubbed her stomach. "Dr. Anderson said it should be about two more weeks until we are parents."

Remus looked at her curiously. "Who is Dr. Anderson? Your doctor is Dr. Crispin."

"Dr. Crispin had a family emergency. Dr. Anderson was his fill-in." He nodded. She smiled at him. "You are lucky that I love you, you know?"

He smirked. "Yes, I am." He kissed her temple. "Why do you say that?"

She gave him a mischievous smile. "Dr. Anderson was quite attractive. He had dark brown hair and eyes. He was muscular and tall. He used to be a professional Quidditch player for the Chudley Cannons." He raised an eyebrow and she laughed. "So, you see, you are very lucky that I love you because if I didn't, I would have run off with him."

Remus eyed her closely. "Would you have?"

Tonks let out a loud laugh. "No, I wouldn't have." She kissed him and smiled. "What were you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"What were you doing in here by yourself? It sounded like you were talking to someone."

He smiled and kissed her. "I was…I was just saying goodbye to an old friend." She gave him a curious look and he kissed her again. "Let's go into the kitchen. Molly wanted to give you some more advice." She groaned. He laughed. "Don't worry. I'll make sure she won't take three hours this time." She nodded and left the room. He looked at the ceiling and smiled. "Thank you for your blessing."

"Remus, are you coming?" Tonks asked.

Remus looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, I'm on my way."


	58. Chapter 57: Yesterday And Today

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I have a really bad ear infection and this was the first day that I was able to go to work and sit up all on my own! Yay me! This chapter and the previous chapter is dedicated to my very best friend and beta! She is the best and is always helping me! Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. The song for this chapter, especially the Sirius scenes, the first three of his scenes really, is "A Long December" By The Counting Crows. Enjoy!

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Chapter 57: Yesterday And Today.

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It was a long walk down the hallway to the room. Sam smiled at the familiar faces and hugged one of the nurses she became friends with. They entered her room and she smiled when she saw that she had a window seat and a great view of the city outside. She walked over to the window and looked outside. Her parents set her things down at the foot of the bed and watched her. She turned around and looked at them. "I have a view this time."

Evelyn smiled at her. "Yes, you do. We know how much you hated not being able to look out the window at night the last time. We requested that you have one this time."

Sam walked over to her and hugged her. "Thank you, Mama. This will definitely help me."

They sat down on the bed and Evelyn smiled at her while pushing her hair behind her ear. "Are you sure about this, Sammy?"

She nodded. "I'm sure about this, Mama. You were right. I needed to come back here."

She hugged her daughter tightly. "Are you going to be ok, Baby?" She smiled and nodded. She kissed her forehead. "I'm going to miss you, sweetheart."

"I'm going to miss you too, Mama."

Mr. Potter watched them and sighed. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She shouldn't be there. She should be at home with her husband and getting ready to go back to school. His face scrunched up at that odd thought. He still couldn't believe that his sixteen year old daughter was married. He shook his head and sighed. He saw them staring at him. "What?"

Sam stared at him oddly. "Are you ok, Daddy?" He nodded. "Are you sure?"

Harold sighed. "I'm fine, Samantha." He grunted.

They stared at him in surprise. "Harold, what's the matter?" Evelyn asked. He just shook his head. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Sam. "Baby, do you need anything before we go?"

She bit her lip and sighed. "What's going to happen?"

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"How will I keep up in school? Will someone send me my assignments so I don't get left back?" She nodded and smiled at her. Sam smiled. "You knew that that wasn't what I wanted to ask." Evelyn laughed and nodded. Sam rested her head on her mother's shoulder and sighed when she held her closely. Tears fell down her eyes and her mother wiped them away. "How do I get a divorce, Mama?"

Evelyn sighed. "Don't worry about that now, Sammy. Daddy and I will take care of everything."

"No, we won't!"

They stared at him. "What did you say, Harold?" Evelyn asked while glaring at him.

Harold glared right back at her. "You heard what I said, Evelyn!" She rolled her eyes. He looked at his daughter. "You aren't getting a divorce."

Sam stood up and stared at him closely. "What do you mean? Mama said I could get one. Why are you changing your mind now?"

He ran a hand over his face. "I never agreed to it! You aren't getting a divorce and that's final!"

Evelyn stood up and put a protective arm around Sam's shoulders. "Harold, how can you say that? If this is what she wants then why not help her?"

"Because she has never given up before! Everything she has tried, she has succeeded at! No matter how difficult it was, she tried!"

"_She_ is standing right here!" Sam yelled. They looked at her. They forgot she was in the room. "Don't talk about me like I'm not even here!" They sighed. She looked at her father. "Daddy, I tried to be with him. I tried…I failed, ok? Why can't you except that and let me get a divorce?"

Harold groaned. "You didn't try! You just gave up when it got tough! That's not like you, Samantha! This isn't you!"

Sam shook her head. "How the hell would you know who I am? I don't even know who I am!" He stared at her in surprise. "Daddy, I'm not a little girl anymore. You can't tell me what to do anymore!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

"What?"

"Stop acting like a little girl and start acting like the adult you claim to be! An adult wouldn't give up on their marriage after only a few hours! They would stay and fight for what they want! Why are you giving up so easily?"

"All he has ever done is hurt me! He purposely cheated on me; he broke my heart in the worst way and…"

He stared at her. Evelyn looked at her daughter. "And what, Baby?"

She shook her head. Harold sighed. "Tell us what _bad_ things he has done to make _you_ give up?"

She glared at him. "Why should I tell you? If you want to know, why don't you ask him?"

Harold groaned. "I'm asking you! Tell me what he did!"

"No, I won't! If you want to know so badly, why don't you ask him? It's not like you'd believe me anyway!"

He gritted his teeth. "Samantha Eugenia Potter, I asked you a question! You better answer now!"

Sam let out a stifled groan. "He's the reason-" She stopped herself from telling them. "No, I won't tell you! Ask him!"

He kicked the chair by the bed and they jumped. "You…I can't believe you are acting this way! Since you've been ten years old all we've heard about is your undying love for Sirius. Now that you have him, you leave! What the hell is going on?"

She turned to her mother. "Mama, I'm going to miss you very much. I-"

"I was talking to you, Samantha! Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you!"

Sam stood in front of him and glared. "I told you I wouldn't say anything! Stop asking me!" His hands balled up into fists. "How about you ask James? He knew and didn't tell me but I'm sure he will tell you!"

Harold was shaking with anger. "If you won't tell me then you can't get a divorce." She gritted her teeth. "If you really want a divorce…why do you need a divorce? Why don't you get an annulment? If you really want to forget this ever happened because he did such terrible things then why don't you just get an annulment?"

She looked at her mother for help. Evelyn stood next to her daughter and sighed. This whole day confused her. James and Sam never had a fight that bad and now, her husband and daughter, who never fought, were at each other's throats. "Harold, she can only get a divorce."

His eyes widened. He glared at his daughter. "Y-You slept with him?" She looked down at the ground. "You slept with him!"

She jumped when he yelled. "Why wouldn't I? He _is_ my husband after all! That's what married people do!"

His face contorted in anger and disgust. She was too young for that. She was too young for any of that. "How could you? You are too young to do that!"

"I'm too young for that? Do you want to know exactly how young-?"

Evelyn grasped her daughter's shoulder tightly. Now was not the time for that secret to come out. "Samantha, you need to calm down! The two of you need to calm down right now!"

Sam nodded while Harold's anger grew. He didn't see any reason for the divorce and she wasn't going to tell them a thing. He was beyond angry. He had helped them get married just so it could fall apart hours later and he just found out his little girl wasn't so little anymore. It was too much for him to take at once. "So, this is it, is it?" She gave him a curious look. "You got married and got what you wanted so now you give up?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Were you curious about…_sex_, Samantha?" Her eyes widened and Evelyn groaned. "You got what you wanted and now, you don't want it anymore! Is that it?" She looked disgusted. Evelyn closed her eyes and shook her head. "Sirius deserves better than that! We raised you better than that!"

Sam couldn't believe what he just said to her. She was shaking and didn't know what to do. She pulled away from her mother and pushed her father with all of her might. "How can you say that to me? I'm not like that! Sirius is like that!" She pushed him again and he staggered. "Sirius got what he wanted from me! He was the one…I can't believe you honestly think that I would do that to someone! I loved him! He lied, cheated on, and betrayed me! He was the one! He was the one and he just threw it all away!" He stared at her in surprise. He was surprised by her strength and her outburst. "If you love him so much, why don't you marry him? I already made that mistake and Mama is going to help me fix it!" He opened his mouth to speak but she was too upset to care. Before she could stop herself, she slapped him. Evelyn's jaw dropped. Harold held his cheek and blinked. "I hate you!"

Harold's head snapped up and glared at her. "You are an ungrateful little brat! We've done everything for you and you treat us like garbage!" She shrugged and he couldn't take it anymore. "You wanted to marry him! For better or for worse, you are staying married to him!" She pushed him again. "Do you hate me, Samantha?" She nodded and glared at him. "Well, that's fine! If you hate me so much then don't consider me your father anymore!" Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't have a daughter! I, obviously, don't know who you are and the person I thought you were would never do that! The person I thought you were would never say and act the way you are!" She went to hug him and ask for forgiveness but he thought she was going to push him again. He raised his hand and slapped her with such force that she staggered. She looked at him with hurt in her eyes and he slapped her again, hard. She held her face in her hands and started to cry. Evelyn held her daughter as she cried. He touched her arm and she flinched. His breath caught in his throat when she looked at him. Her cheek was red and swollen. Harold took a step towards her but stopped when Evelyn pushed Sam behind her. "S-Sammy, I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to do that."

"You are just like Sirius." She muttered before sitting on the bed.

Evelyn looked at her. "Sirius hit you?" She nodded. Evelyn glared at her husband. He was surprised by her confession. "Harold, get the hell out of here now!" She yelled.

He looked at his only daughter and his heart broke when she wouldn't look at him. "Sammy, I'm sorry."

She stood in front of her daughter and growled. "Get the hell out of here _NOW_!"

He started to leave but stopped when he heard her speak. "Don't worry about it." She muttered.

Harold turned around and stared at his daughter with hope filled eyes. She looked at him with no emotion. "What did you say, sweetheart?"

Sam sighed. "I said, don't worry about it." He gave her a small smile. "You don't have to worry about considering me as your daughter. You are not my father anymore, _Mr. Potter_. I have _no _father."

His face fell. Evelyn sat down next to her daughter and held her. "Harold, leave this room right now!"

He nodded slowly while staring at his daughter. She wouldn't look at him. He opened the door and his heart broke when she started to cry hysterically. Evelyn cradled her in her arms as she cried. He stared at them and she glared at him. He left the room and she wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hit him."

Evelyn sighed. "I know you didn't. It was wrong and you shouldn't have down it but he shouldn't have pushed you the way he did. He shouldn't have hit you."

Sam looked at her mother. "Can I still get a divorce?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, Baby. I will try to make it happen. That's the best I can promise." She nodded. "Tell me what he did." Sam looked away from her and told her. She growled. "That's why he hit you?" She nodded again. "That's why you left him?" She nodded. Evelyn gritted her teeth. "I will do my best to get you the divorce."

"Thank you, Mama." She whispered.

"James knew about all of this and didn't tell you?" Sam nodded. "That's it! I'm kicking them all out of the house!" Sam let out a tiny laugh. Evelyn smiled at her. Sam started to cry and whimpered when she touched her cheek. She kissed her forehead. "You are going to be ok, Sammy. I know you will be ok."

"Thank you." They hugged. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, Baby."

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Sirius was in his room. He was there since Lily left. James was too upset and went to his room. They didn't leave their rooms when they were called for dinner. He heard his parents fighting. It was impossible not to hear. They were being so loud. He realized, after hearing them, that something bad happened when they were at St. Mungo's with Sam. He wished he knew what happened but Mrs. Potter was yelling so loud that he couldn't make out what she was saying. 

He rolled over and sighed when he looked at the clock. It was almost eleven. He couldn't believe that when it was this time yesterday, he was with her and they were happy. Now, he was alone and she was at St. Mungo's. He was alone and she didn't want to be with him anymore.

Sirius groaned. He needed her. He loved her. He missed her. He wished he just told her the truth sooner. If he would have done that then she would have forgiven him. He sat up. He had to see her. He had to see her right then. He got up and went to his trunk. He pulled out a pair of pants and a shirt. After he got dressed, he crept down the stairs and went to the living room. He stepped into the fireplace and grabbed some Floo powder. "St. Mungo's!" He said. The flames rose and he was gone.

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It was silent. It was so quiet that you could probably hear a pin drop. He took his time walking to her room. He needed to take his time to get his thoughts in order. He needed to figure out how he was going to convince her to come back to him. He looked around and saw some nurses sitting in chairs talking quietly. He looked away but could hear what they said. "Who is that?" The blonde nurse asked the red head. 

The red headed nurse rolled her eyes and laughed. "You didn't hear?"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. You better tell me!"

"Do you know the patient in room 127? Her name is Samantha Potter?" The blonde nurse nodded. "Well, she was attacked at Hogwarts by one of her friends and her parents wanted to send her away. So, she ran away with her boyfriend, that gorgeous creature walking right there, and got married. She wanted to prove to her parents that she was just fine and didn't need to come back here. She wanted to prove to them that she was sane."

The blonde nurse laughed. "That sounds like the sane thing to do." They started to laugh together. They smiled at each other. "I would use any excuse to marry him. He is hot!"

Sirius walked over to them and glared. They smiled at him. "I'm not deaf."

"What do you mean?" The red headed nurse asked.

He rolled his eyes. "I heard what you two said about my wife." Their eyes widened. "My wife is the best person I know and she had something horrible happen to her. She needs support and if this is going to be how you treat her behind her back then maybe she shouldn't be here."

"S-Sir, we didn't mean anything by it." The blonde nurse said quickly.

Sirius glared at them. "I think I should talk to your supervisor about your treatment of the patients here."

The red head glared at him. "Listen, kid-"

He glared right back at her. "The name is _Mr. Black_ to you!" Her eyes narrowed. "If you talk about my wife or any other patient like that again, I'll make sure that you two lose your jobs!"

"Mr. Black, we promise that we won't do it again." The blonde nurse said. "I can't afford to lose this job." He shrugged. She sighed. "We won't talk about Ms. Potter or anyone else like that again."

Sirius raised his eyebrow. "Her name is Samantha Black now. Be sure to change the records." They nodded quickly. He walked away and turned back to look at them. "Ladies?" They looked at him. "Even if I wasn't married to the best person I know, I still wouldn't touch either of you with a ten foot pole someone else was holding." Their jaws dropped. He smirked. "My wife taught me that saying." He laughed as he walked away. They glared at his retreating form.

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Sirius knocked on the door softly and entered the room. The moon light filled the room and he saw her sleeping soundly. He walked over to her and saw half empty potion bottles on the bedside table. He sat down next to her on the bed and smiled when he pushed the hair off of her face. "Your hair looks beautiful, Baby." He whispered. Sirius looked down and sighed. His eyes widened when he saw the restraints on her wrists. He stood up and moved the covers. He shook his head when he saw restraints on her ankles. Sirius kissed her forehead before lying down next to her. He rested his head on her stomach and wrapped his arms around her. He looked up at her and sighed again. "I love you, Sammy." She sighed in her sleep. He smiled. "I know you love me too. I know you do." He removed the restraints from her wrists and wrapped her arms around him before going back to hug her. He closed his eyes and listened to her heartbeat. 

Sirius felt his body relax as he remembered the first Christmas he spent at the Potter's house. He remembered the first night he spent there as if it was yesterday.

He shivered under the covers. He forgot to shut the window. He didn't want to admit it to James but he was scared to be there. He was afraid that if he did something wrong that James' parents would kick him out. He knew he was being stupid. They made him feel welcomed and a part of the family and it was only his first night there.

Sirius curled into a ball as a breeze came through the window. He didn't feel like getting out of bed to close it. He sighed as he thought about James' sister. He smiled when he remembered how much she blushed whenever he looked at her or when he spoke to her. She was so beautiful and he couldn't believe the way _she_ acted around _him_. His heart started to race when he thought about when she kissed his cheek before going to bed. He couldn't believe how red her face got when she pulled away and ran up the stairs.

The door opened and his eyes widened. He heard footsteps coming closer to his bed and he got nervous. The footsteps stopped a few inches away from his bed and he heard the person sigh as they kneeled down beside his bed. He closed his eyes so they wouldn't know he was awake. "Sirius?" His heart leapt. "Sirius, are you awake?" Sam whispered. Sirius didn't know what to do. He let out a loud snore. She let out a tiny giggle and his heart stuttered. Sam sighed. "I don't know why I'm here, Sirius. You are asleep and I knew you would be. You can't hear me and maybe…" She sighed again. Sirius shivered when another breeze made its way through the room. Sam looked at him curiously. "Are you awake?"

Sirius started to sweat. He wanted to know what she was going to say to him and he knew she wouldn't say it if she knew that he was awake. He pretended to snore again and she sighed in relief. He opened his eyes slightly and saw her looking at the window. She shook her head. She looked at him again and smiled. "You forgot to close the window, didn't you?" Sam walked over to the window and closed it. She walked back over to him and wrapped another blanket around him. He held in a smile at the thoughtful gesture.

Sam kneeled down on the floor next to his bed again and he was glad that it was dark so that she didn't know he was staring at her. "I think I came in here because I knew you'd be asleep. I think…I know I could only talk to you if you are asleep." She let out a shaky breath and he wondered, if she thought he was asleep, why she was so nervous. "I have something important to tell you and I can only tell you when you're asleep."

He waited anxiously for her to continue. He wanted to know what she had to tell him. Sam sighed. "It's stupid, you know?" His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "I only met you for a moment!" She winced when her voice grew loud. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout." Sirius held in his laughter. "I don't understand this, Sirius. I just met you for a moment and…" She took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter."

Sirius sighed. He wished she would continue. She rested her head on top of her hands and smiled as she watched him sleep. His heart raced when she smiled. "I love you, Sirius." She whispered. His eyes widened in surprise. His hands started to sweat when she held them. "I love you, Sirius. I will always love you. I-I can't explain how I know this but I do. When I first saw you, I knew that no other boy would do. You are it for me. Even if I do date someone else, they will never be good enough because you are the only one who will ever be in my heart."

His blood boiled at the thought of her with some guy that wasn't him. He growled. Sam's eyes widened. "I wonder if you can hear me." She shook her head and laughed lightly. "You couldn't possibly hear me. If you did, it sounded like you got jealous at the thought of me with someone else."

Sirius wanted to answer but he couldn't. He was still in shock by what she said. He shifted and mumbled. Sam smiled. "I know that there is no way someone as wonderful as you could ever love someone as weird as me. At least that's what James told me just before I came in here." He sneered. "_James is an idiot!_" He thought. She sighed again. "Sirius, I know this may sound odd for a ten year old girl to say but…" She blushed. "I plan to save myself for you." He blushed. "I want to experience everything the first time with you."

Sirius couldn't believe his ears and he was, once again, glad it was dark so she wouldn't see him blush. "I don't know if that will happen but I hope against hope that it will." He hoped so too. "I think you are wonderful, Sirius. I always want to be around you."

He fought the urge to smile. "I don't care if I can only be your friend. Just as long as you want me around, I'll be happy." She giggled. "You are the most handsome boy I've ever seen. I think you can do anything and when I'm around you, I feel like I can do anything too."

Sirius was beside himself. He was so excited. _She _loved _him_! She _loved_ him! He never felt such joy in his life. He never felt happier. Sam yawned. "I think I should go to bed." He wanted to protest against that bad idea. He wanted her to stay with him…forever. "I love you, Sirius." He smiled. "No matter what happens in the future, I will always love you. I will only love you. Sirius, you will be in my heart forever." She kissed his forehead and he felt like he was on fire. "Sweet dreams, Sirius." She kissed his forehead again and left the room.

He rolled onto his back and let out a sigh. "She loves me?" He whispered in an excited tone. "I can't believe _she_ loves _me_!" His eyes widened. "She wants me to be her first everything?" He gulped. "I think I need to practice before she is ready." He shook his head. "No, I can't do that. I want her to be my first kiss." He laughed. "I want you to be my first everything too, Sammy. I love you too!" Sirius smiled before he drifted off to sleep to have sweet dreams of her and of their possible future together.

Sirius' eyes opened and stared at her sleeping form. He kissed her stomach. Her arms tightened around him and he smiled. "That's how I know you still love me, Sammy. You said no matter what that you would always love me." He closed his eyes again and remembered when he left the Potter's to go back to school that first Christmas.

Their break was over and James and Sirius were waiting to go back to school. Sirius was depressed. He didn't want to leave Sam. They hung out together every day and every night she would sneak into his room and talked to him while he "slept". He looked forward to going to bed because he knew she would come. James yawned. "Mum, where is Sam?"

Evelyn looked away from the kitchen window and sighed. "She is with Ritchie. He came over to speak with her."

Sirius scowled. He didn't like Ritchie. He only met the boy once but that was enough. Ritchie Simmons was a muggle that moved in next door a month after James left for Hogwarts. They became fast friends and were inseparable. Sirius and James met him on their second day there and Sirius didn't like the look of him. Ritchie kicked Sam in the leg and she cried. She ran to James and Sirius punched him in the stomach. Sam told him not to come over again and they didn't see him for the entire time they were there. Sam stuck close to James and Sirius was thrilled. There was no one to distract her from him. "Why is she with him?" He grumbled. Evelyn stared at him in surprise and smiled. He squirmed. "I mean, I thought she was mad at him."

She continued to smile and nodded slowly. "She is mad at him. He came over to apologize to her. Ritchie said he missed his best friend." She looked back out the window and laughed. "Would you look at that?"

James walked over to her. "What do you see, Mum?"

Evelyn looked at him. "I don't know if I should tell you." James rolled his eyes as Sirius stood next to him. She laughed again. "They are hugging. It looks like they made up." The boys scowled. She let out a giggle. "Oh my!"

The boys scrambled to the window and their eyes widened. Ritchie was kissing Sam's cheek. "Get off of my sister!" James growled.

"He better let her go!" Sirius grumbled.

Ritchie continued to hug Sam and she blushed when he kissed her cheek again. They turned to look at Mrs. Potter and she sighed. "Ok, don't worry, boys. I'll go get her."

They watched as she walked outside and talked to them. James' eyes narrowed. "I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Don't worry, mate. I'll help you. He has no right to touch her!"

James turned to him. "I'm never going to let that happen again!"

"What do you mean?"

"No boy is going to touch my sister ever again! I don't care if I have to follow her around everyday! No one gets away with kissing my little sister!"

Sirius gulped. He didn't like the sound of that. "You don't mean that." He muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, I can't follow her around everyday but I meant what I said. Sammy is too young and innocent to have boys touch her. She is too trusting. Guys will take advantage of that. I don't care how nice he is, no one is going near her. I'll make sure of that when she comes to school with us."

He shrugged. "I don't know, mate. What if you knew the guy? What if he was a friend of yours? Would that change your mind?"

He eyed him closely. "No, it wouldn't! That would make it worse!" Sirius' eyes widened. "When I say no one will be allowed to touch her, I mean no one!" Sirius sighed. "D-Do you like my sister? You don't have a crush on her, do you?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "N-No, I don't! I-I think of her as a little sister. That's all, mate!"

James nodded. "That's good to know."

Sam and Evelyn walked in and Sirius sighed in defeat when he saw her blush when she looked at him. "Mama said you were leaving."

He glared at her. "Samantha, what was that…that _boy_ doing to you?" She rolled her eyes at her brother. "Why did you let him kiss you? You are too young for that! I hope I never see that again!"

She laughed and hugged him. "James, it didn't mean anything. He was just apologizing." He grumbled in response. She held onto him tightly. "Don't worry, James. I promise he won't do it again. Ritchie just missed me. Besides you, he is my best friend."

James sighed. "I understand that, Sammy. I just don't want anybody to touch you like that again." She smiled. He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to miss you, Sammy."

Sam smiled. "I'm going to miss you too. I can't wait for you to come back."

"Neither can I."

She walked over to Sirius and his heart started to pound. He held onto her when she hugged him. "It was n-nice spending time with you, Sirius."

Sirius took in her scent and knew he would remember it always. "It was nice to see you again too, Sammy." She smiled and his heart broke when he realized that they would never be together because James wouldn't allow it. "I-I always wanted a little sister. Now, it feels like I do."

Her face fell and his heart broke. She sighed. "I'm g-glad you feel that way, Sirius. I like the thought of having two older brothers." She kissed his cheek. "I'm going to miss you."

He smiled. "I'll miss you too, Sammy."

Evelyn hugged the boys. "I'm going to miss you so much."

Sirius blushed. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Potter." He stared at Sam and she smiled at him. "I had a lot of fun."

She smiled. "You are welcome here anytime, Sirius. I hope you join us during the summer."

Harold walked in. "It's time to go, boys."

They hugged Sam and Evelyn one last time and went towards the door to leave. Sirius looked back at Sam one last time. He knew he would always love her and felt sad at the thought that he would never be with her. "I'll be seeing you, Sammy." He saw her blush as he closed the door and left to go back to school.

Sirius held her tighter. She shifted as much as the restraints on her ankles would allow. He smiled when she snuggled into him. "We're going to be ok, Sammy. I know we will be." She sighed. He leaned up and kissed her lips slowly. "If you want me to be a man, I will be." He kissed her again. He could have sworn that he saw her smile. "I will be who you need me to be." He nuzzled her cheek with his. "I'll love you forever, Sammy. I promise I'll be better this time." He kissed her neck.

Sam yawned. "Baby, not tonight. I'm sleeping." He laughed. "I love you, Sirius. Just go to sleep and we can talk tomorrow."

He kissed her. "Whatever you want, Baby." She smiled and yawned again. "Sammy?" She muttered in her sleep. "Please, don't leave me." She sighed. "I love you forever, Sammy. Please, don't leave me again." Her arms tightened around him and he smiled.

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Sirius didn't want to leave her but he had to. He gave her one last hug and kiss before he left. He stopped when she grabbed his hand. Her eyes were still closed as she held onto to him and smiled. "Baby, where are you going?" She yawned. 

Sirius sat down next to her on the bed and kissed the back of her hand. "I'm not going anywhere." He whispered. Her thumb glided across the back of his hand. "I love you, Sammy." Her smile grew. "I will always love you."

Her eyes opened slowly and he started to sweat. He knew that when she spoke that she wasn't fully awake but now that her eyes were opened, he didn't know what to expect. Sam stared at him and he waited for her to start yelling at him for being there. "You're not leaving, are you?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "I-I…what?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "I asked you if you were leaving. Are you?"

"Y-You want me to stay with you?"

Sam looked at him curiously. "Of course I want you to stay with me. You are my husband, aren't you?" He looked confused. "Baby, are you ok?"

He nodded slowly. "I-I'm fine, love." She smiled. "I'll stay with you. I'll always stay with you, Sammy."

She reached out her arms to him and he smiled. He lay down next to her. Their arms wrapped around each other tightly and he sighed in content. She kissed him on the lips lightly. He smiled in surprise. "Sirius, I love you."

Sirius caressed her cheek and smiled when she leaned into his touch. She had a worried look on her face and he kissed her forehead. "What's the matter?"

Sam shook her head and sighed when he gave her a look. "I had a bad dream."

He held her close to him. "What was the dream about?" She shrugged. "Please, tell me what the dream was about."

She gave him a small smile. "I had a dream that we fought. You were crying and I left you." He closed his eyes and sighed. He realized that she wasn't really awake. She snuggled closer to him. "That won't really happen, will it? We won't be over, will we?" He sighed again. She looked at him closely. "Sirius, I don't want us to be over. We won't be over, will we?"

Sirius kissed her. "We will never be over, Sammy. As long as we love each other we will never be over." She smiled. He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy. I will always love you."

Sam rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Mr. Black."

He laughed. "I love you too, Mrs. Black."

She took in his scent and sighed in content. "I love it when you call me that." He smiled. "I love being your wife." She looked at him. "I promise I'll be a good wife to you, Sirius. No matter what, I will only want you."

Sirius kissed her. "I know that, love." He kissed her again. "And I will only want you." She smiled before she yawned. He sighed. "Why don't you get some sleep? We have a big day tomorrow."

"We do?" He nodded. "What are we doing?"

He smiled. "We have to celebrate our first two days of being married." She laughed. "What is so funny?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You can be such a girl sometimes." He laughed. She kissed him. "I love the idea. I look forward to spending the day with my husband."

Sirius smiled. "I'm looking forward to spending the day with my wife." They hugged each other. "It's time to go to sleep."

Sam nodded and gave him a curious look when he got up to leave. "Where are you going? You aren't leaving, are you?"

He shrugged. "I was going to go to the bathroom." She nodded slowly. He smiled. "Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

She shrugged. "If you have to go to the bathroom then you should go."

Sirius sat back down and smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "I'll wait. I'll stay with you until you go to sleep."

Sam kissed him. "Thank you, Baby." He kissed her deeply. "I'm lucky to have such a wonderful husband like you, Sirius."

He bit back his tears. "I-I'm lucky to have a wonderful wife like you, Sammy." She smiled as her eyes closed. He held her close to him. "Please, don't leave me. Promise me that you will never leave me."

She sighed and kissed him again. "I promise I won't leave you, Sirius." She yawned. "I love you, Sirius."

Sirius kissed her forehead. "I love you too, Sammy."

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Professor Dumbledore sighed as he walked into his office. It was the second night in a row that he had a visitor in his office at such a late hour. He sighed again when he saw him sitting in the chair in front of his desk. He sat down and stared at him. He looked up from the floor and Dumbledore was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Hello, Professor." He nodded a hello. "I'm sorry I came here so late. I didn't mean to. I needed to talk to you about something important and it couldn't wait." 

Dumbledore nodded again. "It's quite alright. How can I help you?"

Sirius' lip trembled. "I-I made some terrible mistakes that you need to know about."

He smiled. "What do you need to tell me, Mr. Black?"

He sighed. He started to cry and Dumbledore couldn't believe his eyes. "S-She left me. I did some stupid things and she left me because of them." Dumbledore watched him closely. "If she would know how sorry I am…I'm so sorry, sir. I never meant for any of it to happen."

"Sirius, whatever it is, I am positive that it will be fine in the end. Tell me what you did."

Sirius looked at him. "S-Sammy…she said I had to be a man. She said she didn't want to love a little boy. I'm going to try to be better. I'm going to be the man she needs me to be."

"Tell me what you did, Mr. Black."

He took a deep breath and began his story. He didn't know why but he told him everything. When he was finished, he couldn't look at him. "That's the whole story, sir." He heard Dumbledore sigh. "I'm sorry, sir. I really am sorry."

Dumbledore stared at the top of his head and waited for him to look up. Sirius took his time but he did finally look up. He squirmed under Dumbledore's close stare. He opened his mouth to speak and Sirius braced himself.


	59. Chapter 58: Becoming

Author's Note: Don't mind the mistakes. Beta is on leave. I'm too tired to proof. Enjoy!

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Chapter 58: Becoming.

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Dumbledore stared at the top of his head and waited for him to look up. Sirius took his time but he did finally look up. He squirmed under Dumbledore's close stare. He opened his mouth to speak and Sirius braced himself. "Was that everything that happened, Mr. Black?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes, it is, sir. I've told you things that even James doesn't know. Sam doesn't even know some of it."

"Why haven't you told her?"

He shrugged. "I don't know." He sighed when Dumbledore kept staring at them. "I didn't think she was ready to hear the truth. Also, when I did tell her most of it, she was so upset that I didn't get a chance to finish telling her."

"When do you believe would be the best time to tell her?"

Sirius shook his head. "I-I don't know, sir. I'm not sure if there is ever a good time for anything. I'm not sure of anything anymore." He sighed. "That's not true. I'm sure I love her. I'm sure that she is the only I want to spend the rest of my life with. I may have married her to prevent her parents from sending her away but I also married her because I can't live without her."

Dumbledore eyed him closely. "I believe this is the first time that you have been completely honest about your feelings." Sirius nodded slowly. "Now, we must speak of the attack."

He paled. "Sir, I swear, I never meant for that to happen! I-I never mean for any of it to happen! I-I didn't know he would try and hurt her. I-I didn't know-" He stopped when Dumbledore held up his hand.

He sighed. "What you have done…" He took a deep breath. He was beyond angry but when he looked into the eyes of the broken young man sitting before him, he didn't know how to respond. Sirius stared at him with wide eyes and he shook his head. "You have put me in a difficult position, Sirius."

He hung his head in shame. "I-I know that, sir. I deserve whatever punishment you give me. I deserve to be thrown out of school and into Azkaban."

Dumbledore let out a tiny smile. "Being sent to Azkaban seems to be a bit harsh." Sirius shrugged. "I am in a difficult position, Mr. Black. With your confession…this means that I have to let Severus back into the school."

His head snapped up. "What?"

"Severus was provoked. He did not act on his own. This means that he is not completely responsible for his actions." He sighed. "I have no other choice but to let him back into school."

"Sir, what about Sam? What about Michael? He tried to kill them!" Dumbledore gave him a look. He groaned. "I know my actions caused the attack but he was the one that did the attacking! He made the choice to attack them! That wasn't my fault! I said those things to him but I didn't force him to believe me! I didn't force him to raise his wand and try to torture and kill my wife! He chose to do that!"

His eyes were blazing. "Sirius, that's enough!" Sirius gulped and sat back down in his chair. "Do you believe that I am comfortable with this decision? Severus attacked two of my students and is a threat to the other students."

Sirius sighed. "What if he tried to attack them again? What if he attacks someone else?"

"I understand your concerns. I have the same concerns. I will give you my word that I will take all of the necessary precautions to ensure the safety of your wife and Mr. Lewis. I will take the same precautions for the other students' safety."

"How will you do that? What precautions are you taking?" He sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry to question you like this, sir. I just need to know that Michael will be safe." Dumbledore's eyes widened. Sirius shrugged. "I'm the reason he was attacked. His safety is on my shoulders now." He nodded and smiled. "Sir, I need to know that Michael and Sam will be safe while he is here. I need to be sure that my wife's safety is not endangered again. I need to be sure that my friends will be safe. I can't have anyone else get hurt."

Dumbledore smiled again. "Severus will be escorted to class by one of his professors. He will be allowed to eat his meals with the rest of the school but will be separated. He will be allowed an hour of free time but will be supervised…without his knowledge." Sirius shook his head. "If he comes near your wife, Mr. Lewis, or anyone else that they are close to, I will be notified immediately. Severus will be put on probation. He will have a strict eight o'clock curfew."

Sirius groaned. "Do you think that is good enough?"

He nodded. "I believe that is the best I can offer at this moment. If I feel there are other precautions that I think are necessary, I will enforce them." Sirius nodded reluctantly. "It is late and I may not be able to calm all of your fears at this moment but I do promise that I will do everything in my power to protect the students especially your friends and your wife."

He nodded. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate this." Dumbledore nodded. "I'm sorry if I overreacted. I just needed to be sure that everyone is safe. I don't want anyone else to pay for my behavior." He smiled at the younger man. "Sir, I know I don't deserve your kindness right now after all the trouble I've caused and I shouldn't be hounding you with questions especially at this late hour but I just…I have to be sure that my wife will be safe when she returns."

"I understand, Mr. Black. I will make it my top priority to ensure Samantha's safety."

Sirius sighed in relief. "Thank you, sir. That is a load off of my mind." He stood up and shook his hand. "I'll leave you now to get some rest."

Dumbledore shook his head. "Our discussion is not over just yet, Sirius." He gulped. He was afraid of this. "We have to discuss your punishment."

He let out a nervous laugh. "I was stupid to believe that you would forget about that, wasn't I?"

He smiled. "It was foolish of you to believe that." Sirius sat back down and waited for his sentencing. "What do you think your punishment should be?"

He smiled sheepishly. "How about you let me go with a warning?"

Dumbledore sighed. "You are most amusing, Mr. Black." Sirius nodded and shrugged. "You will be on probation. You will have a nine o'clock curfew. If you step out of line or are found to cause any…indiscretions, you will be removed from this school."

Sirius gulped and nodded slowly. "That sounds…like…not what I deserve."

"You believe this is too harsh of a punishment."

He shook his head. "No, that's not it at all, sir. I don't think it's hard enough. My actions almost got my wife and my…well…her friend killed. I think I deserve a lot worse to be completely honest with you."

Dumbledore was silent. He was surprised by his words. He never expected Sirius Black to act this way. "Do you want to know why your punishment is…in your words, not harsh enough?" Sirius nodded. "You made your mistakes and you realize the mistakes you've made. Sirius, you came here and confessed to me what you did. You did not have to do this. You had the opportunity to keep this secret to yourself but you chose to tell the truth. That is why I gave you the punishment you received. It is what I believe is the best punishment for you to learn from your mistakes."

"It was because of Sam." Dumbledore gave him a questioning stare. He sighed. "She said I needed to be a man. A man would face the consequences and deal with them as they come. As much as I wish I could take the credit for this, the only reason I told the truth was to show her that I can be the man she knows I can be."

He smiled. "That may be true but you could have still chosen to keep the truth to yourself." Sirius nodded. "I always believed that you were capable of becoming the man you were meant to be." Sirius smiled slowly. "I am pleased to know that Samantha has caused this change in you." Sirius nodded. "I believe Samantha will be a great help in your journey to becoming a better man."

Sirius nodded. "I hope she will be but I know she won't." He gave him a curious look. "She said she hated me, sir. Sam wants a divorce."

Dumbledore continued to smile. "We say…_things_ that we do not mean when we are upset." He looked at him with interest. "Samantha will not give up on you, Sirius."

"How do you know that, Professor?"

"Samantha came to me the previous night and sat in the same chair you are currently sitting in." Sirius looked at the chair and smiled. "She had every opportunity to tell me what you did but she chose not to. She continued to protect you even thought she is currently upset with you." His smile grew. "Sirius, you and Samantha, from what you have told me, have had every obstacle thrown at you and despite it all, you have chosen to be together. True love is rare and hard to find in ones so young. The love between you and your wife is true and you have a bond that will never break. You may be without her for some time but you will always be connected. She is your soul mate. That is a bond that can never end."

He smiled. "Thank you for that, sir." He stood up. "I really needed to hear that."

Dumbledore nodded. "The truth deserves to be heard." Sirius smiled again. "Sirius, I have no doubt in my mind that everything will work out between you and Samantha."

Sirius shook his hand. "I hope so." Dumbledore smiled. "I think I should go. I don't want my parents to worry if they realize I'm not there." He gave him a curious smile. Sirius blushed. "I-I meant Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I've been living with them since last year."

"I was aware of that."

"Well, I should be going. Thank you again, sir."

Sirius went to leave but stopped when he spoke. "There is one more thing in your punishment that I forgot to mention."

He turned around. He was afraid this would happen. "What is that, sir?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Dr. Roberts will be returning in February." He nodded slowly. "You will be scheduled to see him."

His eyes widened. "Y-You want me to see that prat…uh…Dr. Roberts?"

He eyed him closely. "Yes, I do. You will be scheduled to see him every week until graduation."

"Won't that be a conflict of interest? Isn't he Sam's counselor?"

"Yes, he is." Sirius waited for him to continue. "Think of it as a way to help you become a better man." Sirius made a face. He laughed lightly. "Do not worry, Sirius. Andrew will be fair to you."

"Says you." He muttered.

Dumbledore smiled. "Have a pleasant night, Mr. Black."

Sirius nodded. "Have a good night, sir." He left.

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The morning light was making its way into the room. Sirius yawned as he entered the living room. He was exhausted emotionally and physically. He felt like he could sleep an entire year and somehow, he felt like that still wouldn't be enough. He rubbed his eyes and made his way towards the stairs to go to bed. "Sirius, is that you?" 

He stopped in his tracks and turned towards the kitchen. He saw Evelyn standing there. He gave her a questioning stare. "Mum, what are you doing up so early?"

Evelyn walked over and stood in front of him. "It's late. Where were you?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry I worried you, Mum. I had some things to take care of." She gave him a look. "I went to see Sam and-"

"Stay away from her."

Sirius stared at her in surprise. "What…what did you say?"

She glared at him. "I said, stay away from her." He opened his mouth to speak but she slapped him. "I should have never given my blessing."

"What are you talking about? You were against our marriage."

Evelyn growled. "When the two of you first started going out, you came to me and asked for my blessing. If I could, I would go back and say no."

He couldn't believe his ears. "Mum, why are you saying that?"

"Sammy told me about what happened." He nodded. "She told me everything that happened between the two of you." He paled. She slapped him again. "How could you do that to her, Sirius? She has been in love with you since the day she met you and you treated her like she was nothing but a piece of trash on the street!"

Sirius rubbed his cheek. He was sure there was going to be a big bruise after being hit on the same spot in two days repeatedly. "I-I've always loved her! I made some horrible mistakes but I'm trying to make up for them. I went to see Dumbledore after I saw Sam. I told him everything."

Evelyn stared at him in surprise but she shook it off. "I don't care. You will stay away from her!" His eyes were filled with tears. "How could you do and say that to her?"

"I-I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I am going to do everything I can to get that divorce. It's the least I can do for her."

Sirius grabbed her arm when she walked away. He backed away when he saw the look on her face. "Mum, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything. Sam forgave me for all of that. Please, don't help her divorce me." She glared at him. "I love her. I know that my previous actions haven't proved that to you but I do love her. I love her so much." She rolled her eyes. "I need her, Mum."

Evelyn sighed. "Stay away from my daughter, Sirius."

"Please, stop saying that! You can't mean that!"

"Go to bed, Sirius."

"No, I won't!" She stared at him in surprise when he yelled. "I need you to believe me."

She sighed. "I don't know if I can. You have hurt her so much and as much as I love you, I don't know if I can forgive you."

He hugged her and cried. She staggered under his weight. "I need your forgiveness. I need her forgiveness. All I've ever wanted was to be with her."

Evelyn pulled away from him. "You had a shitty way of showing it, Sirius!" He was surprised by her words. She never cursed. "I should have never given you my blessing. If I didn't then maybe my little girl would be happy instead of broken." She walked away. "Go to bed and stay away from her."

Sirius watched her walk away and couldn't stop his tears from falling. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

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Sirius couldn't move. He went to bed after his _talk_ with Mrs. Potter and he wouldn't leave his room. He didn't answer when James and Mr. Potter came knocking on his door. He didn't want to see anybody. He just wished he could go back in time and prevent himself from making all those mistakes. 

He was curled up in a ball in the center of his bed. It was, once again, eleven at night and his second day of _wedded bliss_. He was exhausted. From all the drama, the tears, and the pain, he was completely exhausted. He never felt so tired in all his life.

Sirius closed his eyes and thought of the night before when he was at St. Mungo's with Sam. It felt good to hold her and to talk to her. It felt good to kiss her and just be with her…even thought she wasn't really aware that he was there. Her question filled his ears. "_We won't be over, will we?_"

He closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he shouldn't have gone to see her but he needed to. He needed to know that she was going to be ok. He needed to know that she was going to be safe. He growled when he thought of his meeting with Dumbledore. He went there to prove to Sam, everyone else, and to himself that he was a man. He had to prove that he could be the man he knew he was capable of being. He had to prove that but he also wished that he didn't. The punishment itself seemed as fair as possible but the only thing that bothered him was that he was being forced to meet with that prat Dr. Roberts. He knew Andrew would give him a hard time and not be much help in his plans to get Sam back but he had to go in order to stay in school.

His stomach growled and he groaned. He hadn't eaten anything since the night of his wedding. Sirius knew that that wasn't the smartest move on his part but he couldn't seem to muster up enough energy to eat. It seemed like he didn't have energy for anything anymore. He stood up after his stomach rumbled again. Sirius shivered when his bare feet hit the floor. He sighed as he looked around the room. He was in his boxers and didn't feel like getting dressed. Sirius picked up the comforter and wrapped it haphazardly around his body and walked out of his room.

The house was dark and quiet. Everyone was already in bed and he was relieved. He didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. He entered the dining room but stopped when he saw Mr. Potter enter the room carrying two plates filled with food. Harold looked at him in surprise at his appearance. "You look like shit." He said. Sirius nodded. "Have a seat." Sirius sat down at the head of the table and he sat next to him. Harold eyed him closely. "I couldn't sleep. I see the same goes for you." Sirius shrugged. He sighed. "I figured you would come down sooner or later. You haven't eaten since…" He sighed again. "I made you a sandwich in case you came down while I was still here." Harold pushed the plate in front of him but he didn't move. He just stared at the plate. "Eat. You have to eat something, Sirius. You need to keep up your strength."

He picked up the sandwich and took a bite. "Thank you." He muttered.

Harold nodded in response. They ate in silence. Once they were done, he spoke. "How are you holding up?" Sirius just looked at him. He let out a tiny laugh. "Stupid question." Sirius nodded slowly. Harold looked at him. "I…I know about what happened between you and Sammy. I know everything that happened." Sirius gulped. He had been expecting this. "Evelyn told me about it when we came back from taking Sammy to St. Mungo's." Sirius gave him a questioning look. "Did you hear us fighting after we returned?" He nodded. Harold sighed. "James heard us as well. He questioned me about it." Sirius gave him a blank stare. "Are you…do you think I'm going to hurt you for what happened?" He nodded quickly. He let out another tiny laugh. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Sirius cleared his throat. "W-Why not?"

He shrugged. He let out a breath. "Did I ever tell you the story about Evelyn and me?" Sirius shook his head slowly. He had no idea why he was talking about this and not hitting him. He smiled. "I'll make you another sandwich, you need to eat a little more, and then, I'll tell you the story." He nodded and watched him go into the kitchen. He waited for his return so he could understand why he needed to hear the story about how his parents got together. Harold came back a few minutes later and set the plate down in front of him. He smiled when Sirius stared at the plate. "Eat up, Sirius." Sirius eyed the food closely and he laughed at him. "Don't worry. I didn't poison it or anything."

He let out a small smile. "Thank you."

Harold watched him eat with such eagerness that he was surprised he didn't choke. "Calm down, Sirius. You have to eat slowly or you might choke." Sirius nodded and eased his pace. He smiled at the boy. "Evelyn and I met at Hogwarts, as you know." He nodded. "She had a crush on me for some time but I made it clear that I wasn't interested in her in that way. She was hurt by this but accepted it. We were friends for a while and we were close."

Sirius had another small smile on his face. "Sounds like me and Sam." He muttered.

He nodded. "Yes, it does." He rubbed his tired eyes. "We came back in our fifth year and Evelyn…" He smiled at the thought of her. "We wrote to each other during the summer and everything was normal until I saw her on the train to go back to school. She had grown up so much and very nicely." Sirius made a face and he laughed. "Not something you wanted to hear about your mother I take it?"

He nodded awkwardly. "Something like that." He whispered. He took a sip of pumpkin juice. "Please, continue with the story."

Harold took a moment to get his thoughts straight before he continued. "I was amazed by how beautiful she was. I always knew she was attractive but…when I saw her sitting and laughing with her friends on the train, it was like I was seeing her for the first time." Sirius was enamored with this story. "I just thought I was nutters." Sirius let out a small laugh. It reminded him of when he realized he loved Sam. "We were still the best of friends but something changed. Everyone but Evelyn seemed to notice this. I was always annoyed when she would talk to other guys but in my fifth year, it got worse. Sirius, you have to understand that before I realized that I had feelings for her, I was jealous when other guys would take her attention away from me. I just thought I was being a good and protective friend but I realized that deep down, I was always crazy about her. I talked to her about everything! If I had a bad dream, if I had trouble in class, if I got into a fight with one of my friends or girlfriends, I would go to her for advice. Her opinion mattered more to me than anything. I just thought it was because she was my best friend but it was really because I loved her. I always loved her but was too stupid to realize it."

He stared at the older man in surprise. "This sounds oddly familiar."

He smiled. "I'm sure it does." He scratched his head. "Evelyn started to get even more attention by guys that year and she was surprised by it but she loved it! I, of course, hated it!" They shared a laugh. "She started going out with my other best friend Aubrey Williams. This absolutely killed me." Sirius nodded. He knew exactly how he felt. He felt the same way when Remus and Sam started going out. "Once they started going out, it seemed like she didn't have any time for me anymore. Whenever I managed to get some time with her alone, she would always talk about how great Aubrey was. Aubrey would say the funniest things and do the sweetest things. I really started to hate Aubrey."

"I know what you mean." He muttered.

"I thought you would." Sirius finished his food and pushed the plate away from him. "They broke up after sic months and I was thrilled!" Sirius smiled. "I was there for her. I was her shoulder to cry on. It turns out Aubrey cheated on her and once she found out, she broke up with him immediately." He blushed. "What she didn't know was that I arranged for it to happen."

"You did what?"

His blush grew. "I know it was horrible but that's the way it was. There was this girl that was in love with him and I told her how to get him." He sighed. "One night, a few months after they broke up, I kissed her. I told her how much I loved her. I told her how I always loved her but was too stupid to realize it." Sirius chuckled softly. "She laughed at me! She said I was sweet to say that but thought I was just trying to make her feel better. The more I tried to explain, the more she laughed. I got upset and told her how I set up Aubrey to cheat on her." He groaned. "She was so upset and slapped me. She said she couldn't believe how selfish I was. She said I only ever caused her pain and she was going to tell Aubrey what happened. S-She said she hated me and that she never wanted to speak to me again."

Sirius groaned as he rubbed his cheek. "That is somewhat what happened between me and Sam in my fifth year." Harold smiled. He was glad that he was talking more and more. "Except I kissed Sam when she was still with Remus and she punched me. You got off easy." Harold laughed. He looked at his father closely. "What happened next?"

Harold smiled when he saw how interested Sirius was in his story. He took a sip of water before he began to speak. "Well, Aubrey and Evelyn stopped talking to me. Luckily, they didn't get back together. He was dating some other girl but they became friends again. Guys were asking her out right and left. Whenever I was around, she would flirt with everyone that talked to her but she wouldn't go out with them." Sirius nodded. "It was a week before term ended and I couldn't take not speaking with her anymore. Aubrey and I were friends again. We weren't as close as we once were but we were getting there." He was amazed at how familiar the story was. "The morning after our finals were complete, we were in the Great Hall for breakfast. Aubrey urged me to talk to her before we left school because he knew if I didn't, it would be too late. I walked over to her but her friends wouldn't let me talk to her. Evelyn was about to walk out of the room but stopped when I stood on the table and shouted for everyone's attention."

His eyes were wide. "What did you do?"

"Everyone was staring at me and I was nervous as hell but I didn't care. I needed her to know how I felt."

"What did you do?"

He laughed. "I made an announcement." Sirius gave him a look. He laughed again. "I said, I, Harold Ambrose Potter-"

Sirius scrunched up his face. "_Ambrose_?"

Harold glared at him. "Shut up and listen, ok?" He nodded. "I, Harold Ambrose Potter, am a git. Everyone laughed and Evelyn agreed. She said that I was also a prat." Sirius laughed. "I stared at her and smiled. I, Harold Ambrose Potter, am a git and a prat. She hid her smile and I knew that I was on my way to winning her back." Harold smiled at the memory. "I said, I hurt the two people I cared about most because I am a selfish prat. Aubrey has forgiven me but one person refuses. This person is the love of my life and I can't survive without her. Evelyn was quite surprised by this confession." Sirius smiled. "I didn't notice anyone but Aubrey told me the whole hall had my attention. The only thing I cared about was that she was listening. I hurt my best friend and these last few weeks without her have been torture. I, Harold Ambrose Potter, am madly in love with my best friend Evelyn Patricia Harrington-McKenzie." Harold laughed. "She looked like a feather could knock her over after I said that." Sirius laughed. "I jumped off the table and walked over to her. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and I'll never forget how beautiful she looked. I said, Evelyn, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve one ounce of your friendship or love but I need it. This past year has made me realize that I need you more than anything in this world to survive. I beg for your forgiveness. I understand if you can't love me the way that I will always love you. I'll understand and I'll deal with it but I still need you in my life in some way. If I can only have your friendship then that's just fine with me. I'll be fine just as long as I have my soul mate in my life. You understand me and accept me for who I really am. We fight all the time but that's a good thing! That means we have enough passion for each other to last a lifetime. I love you, Evelyn. I will always love you and there is nothing anyone could do about it." He smiled. "Then, I kissed her in front of everyone."

He smiled. "What did she do?"

"She slapped me upside my head and called me an ass."

Sirius howled with laughter. Harold smiled at him. He was glad to see that there was still some life inside of the boy. "She didn't!" He nodded and shrugged. "What happened next?"

Harold laughed. "After she slapped me and called me an ass, she smiled at me in this way that I never saw before. Evelyn said if I did anything stupid and cruel as setting up Aubrey again, she would leave me in a heart beat. I was too stupid to realize she was saying she would be with me. I nodded and said I didn't want to ruin our friendship like that again. She slapped me upside the head again and called me a git." Sirius laughed. "Evelyn grabbed my face and kissed me. She said she forgave me. She said she loved me too. I was so excited that I picked her up and spun her around while shouting 'I got her! I got her!'" Harold groaned. "I was such a git." Sirius nodded. "After that, we were even more inseparable than usual."

He sat back in his chair and smiled. "So, that's how you got together?" Harold nodded. "That's a great story." He shrugged. "You two got together and stayed that way ever since. That's amazing."

Harold shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I wish that was the case."

Sirius looked at him in surprise. "There's more?" He nodded reluctantly. "What else happened?"

"I-I don't know if I should tell you."

He got up to walk away but Sirius grabbed his wrist. "Please, tell me what happened, Dad."

He smiled. He said that on purpose to see if Sirius was ready to hear it all and to his relief, he was. "Well, if you are sure you want to hear it…" Sirius nodded eagerly. "Ok, I will tell you." Sirius smiled and Harold sat down. "We were inseparable. We were always together…that wasn't different than before but what was different is that we were sneaking around to snog." Sirius laughed. "We were together for a year and a half before things went wrong."

Sirius stared at him when he stopped talking. "What happened, Dad?"

Harold sighed. "Evelyn was waiting until marriage." Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I knew I loved her. I didn't mind waiting but sometimes…you can understand this from dating Sammy, I'm sure." Sirius looked away from him. He wasn't stupid enough to open that can of worms. "You know how hard it can be to be with the love of your life and in the moment but she isn't…ready for any of that." Sirius did understand this. He knew exactly how frustrating it was. When he first started going out with Sam, she would only kiss him but nothing else happened. He nodded when he saw Harold was waiting for confirmation. "Well, it was frustrating as hell. We both knew that we would get married but it didn't help. I also started to get scared."

"What were you scared of?"

He shook his head. "It was stupid." Sirius stared at him. "I was terrified at the thought that I'd only be with her for the rest of my life." Sirius gulped. "I started acting distant and mean. We fought constantly and stopped sneaking off to snog. That's when I became really stupid. Evelyn and I planned to get married later that year but…I ruined that."

"How?"

"We weren't talking that much and I was being an ass. The girl I set up Aubrey with was after me. I kept pushing her off because I loved Evelyn. One night, after another terrible fight with Evelyn, I gave in. I slept with her. I cheated on Evelyn and ruined my chance at happiness because I was a git." Sirius sighed. "After that happened, I went to Evelyn-"

"You told her about what happened?"

Harold sighed. "No, but I wished I did." Sirius nodded. "I apologized for being an ass and asked for her forgiveness. I didn't want anyone to know what I did so I didn't tell anyone…including Aubrey. We were close again." He nodded in response. "Well, two weeks went by and Evelyn and I…uh…finally…you know." Sirius blushed. "We were closer than ever and I was happy but still plagued by cheating on her." Sirius nodded slowly. "We were engaged a month after that happened and once we announced it, that's when all hell broke loose."

Sirius sat up in his seat. "What do you mean?"

"Angela, the girl I slept with, was angry that I chose Evelyn over her. So, she went up to Evelyn in the Great Hall, with every watching, and announced that she slept with me." Sirius groaned. "Evelyn just laughed and called her a liar. She looked at him to see how amused I was by this lie but she saw I wasn't. I'll never forget how her face fell. I felt every pair of eyes on me. I tried to apologize but she ran out of the room, followed by her friends. Aubrey held me back and told me to give her some time to cool off. He was convinced she would stay with me."

"Did she forgive you?"

He sighed. It was hard for him to relive that time of his life but he knew he had to continue. He knew his story could give his son the hope to keep going after what he wanted. "No, she didn't. I caught up to her after classed were over. She ignored me the entire day but I expected that. I screwed up in a big way and she needed time." He rubbed his eyes. "I cornered her and forced her to talk to me." Sirius laughed. He knew, even thought he made that same mistake many times, that that wasn't the way to go with Sam, Mrs. Potter, and Lily. It was best to wait until they came to you. He knew this but still didn't do it. "I'll never forget how angry she was. She was crying hysterically and called me a disgusting jackass. She couldn't believe she wasted her first time on someone like me. I was heartbroken but I knew I deserved what she said. She took off her engagement ring and shoved it into my hand. She broke up with me and refused to speak with me."

Sirius stared at his wedding band and sighed. "It hurts when they say things you know you deserve." Harold stared at him closely. He saw him staring at his wedding band and sighed. "You make the biggest mistakes and somehow, they forgive you. You make a huge mistake and hope they forgive you like the times before but are surprised when they leave you even though you know you had it coming the entire time." Sirius touched his wedding band. "You are left wishing to turn back time to change it all but know that that isn't possible. You are left alone without the one person that makes it ok for you to be you…the one person that makes living each easier." Harold just watched him. This was the first time that Sirius really opened up about how he felt and he didn't want to ruin it. "You make the hugest mistakes and she is gone. There is no way to get her back and you are left with the hope that someway, someday, she knocks on your door and says you are the only one she wants and needs. You were the only one all along." Sirius' eyes filled with tears and Harold sighed. That was exactly how it was. He looked away from his ring and stared at his father. "But you…you got her back!" Harold's eyes widened at him. "H-How did you do it, Dad?"

Harold sighed again. "It wasn't easy." Sirius nodded. "For the rest of our seventh year, she ignored me. I tried talking to her but her friends were always around and wouldn't allow it. She told them to make sure that she didn't talk to me because she was scared she would go back to me and I would hurt her again." Sirius nodded and waited for him to continue. "Aubrey was still friends with her and would give me daily updates about her. She missed me but still refused to talk to me. I had hurt her so much and she didn't want to go through that again." Sirius sighed. This sounded all too familiar. "It was at the graduation dance when she was forced to talk and dance with me. I was close to her parents and they were upset when she told them that we broke up. Mr. McKenzie waved me over in hopes that he could get us back together." Sirius smiled. "Evelyn was pissed when I walked up to them. Her mother knew what happened between us and gave me the cold shoulder. Mr. McKenzie offered Evelyn to dance with me. I was grateful for that."

"Why is that?"

He smiled. "She was and still is a daddy's girl. She could never refuse her father's request." Sirius smiled. "Evelyn kept me at a distance while we danced. I told her how beautiful she looked. She rolled her eyes. I said I missed her. I missed her every day. I missed our friendship, our love, and most importantly, our closeness." Sirius smiled again. "She shrugged and that killed me. I apologized about hurting her and told her how much I regretted cheating on her. I told her she was the only one that made it ok for me to get up in the morning. Seeing her face, even when she was mad at me, made my day better." Harold smiled. "She said she missed our friendship too." He was lost in the memory. He didn't snap out of it until Sirius cleared his throat. "She said she wouldn't come back to me but we could try to be friends again. I jumped, literally, at the chance. If that was the only way to have her in my life then that was fine."

"How did you get married to her?"

Harold laughed. "I'm getting to that. You need to know the whole story, Sirius." Sirius smiled and nodded. "We wrote to each other over the summer and we both got jobs at Ministry. I was training to be an Auror and she worked in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. You may not know this but your mother is a Quidditch fanatic!" Sirius laughed. "We would meet for lunch every day and talk. We were becoming close again and I was thrilled! We had our own flats in Diagon Alley but we were a floor apart. We went to work together, had lunch and dinner together, and sometimes, we came home together. It was like we were dating but without all of the fun stuff that went with it." Sirius laughed when he winked at him. "It was in October when she told me that she was starting to go out with one of her friends from school. His name was Argus Diggory." Sirius' eyes widened. "He was and still is the biggest git I ever met. She would talk to him about her problems whenever I wasn't around or when we were fighting. He was always in love with her and they dated briefly in our third year but nothing really came of it." Sirius gulped. That sounded like Michael. "I was devastated when she told me that. I thought we were on our way back together but I was wrong."

He shook his head. "It hurts when she chooses someone else over you, doesn't it?" Harold looked at him in surprise and nodded slowly. "You start to become close again and you are so close to getting her back that you can taste it but that's when the bomb drops. She has found someone new…or goes back to someone old."

Harold stared at him. "You understand what I felt really well, don't you?" Sirius looked down at the table and nodded slowly. He sighed. "I tried…ok, I pretended to be supportive of their relationship. I just thought it wouldn't last. It didn't last before so, why would it last now?" Sirius nodded. "Everything remained the same for the most part. We still had lunch together, we still went to work together and we still talked. It's just that dinners were reserved solely for Argus…that stupid ponce." Sirius laughed. "I, as usual, went to her flat to take her to work." His face darkened at the memory and Sirius was surprised. "I walked in, she gave me a key, and saw Argus buttoning up his shirt and gave her a kiss." Sirius winced. "They had been dating for about four months but I didn't think anything would happen between them. She made me wait for over a year and a half!" Sirius nodded. "Evelyn saw me and blushed. She was embarrassed that I saw that. She didn't want me to know they had been sleeping together." He growled. "Once he left, I laid into her. I couldn't believe that she made me wait all that time but gave it up to him after four seconds. She said that it wasn't any of my business what she does with her boyfriend. She would still be with me if I hadn't ruined everything but I did so, she was with Argue. I would just have to deal with it."

"That must have hurt." He muttered.

He nodded. "It did. Believe me, it did. I pushed down my anger and apologized for yelling at her. That took a lot of strength on my part." Sirius nodded. "A week later, while we were at lunch, she was acting funny."

"What do you mean?"

"She was jumpy and twitchy. I kept asking what was wrong but she wouldn't tell me. I gave her a guilt trip. I said that we were friends and she could tell me anything and it would be alright. She smiled and told me the worst news possible."

Sirius' eyes widened. "She was pregnant with Argus' baby?"

Harold made a face and groaned. "I think I'm going to be sick! That is a horrible to say, Sirius!" Sirius shrugged. "No, she wasn't pregnant, thank Merlin!" He sighed. "She told me that Argus proposed and she accepted." Sirius let out a breath. He didn't expect that. "I was heartbroken. It felt like my entire world came crashing down around me. I blew up at her. I couldn't believe how heartless she was being by marrying a prat like that. I loved her all along and she was throwing away what we had and could have by marrying that annoying ass." He sighed. "She said she would have been with me forever if I kept it in my pants. She said I broke her heart and she knew for a fact that Argus wouldn't because he really did love her."

"But you did…do love her!" Sirius exclaimed.

He smiled. "Yes, I do. She left me standing there. We didn't go to work together anymore. We didn't have lunch anymore. We didn't walk home together anymore. She cute me out of her life again and I was a wreck again. Aubrey, he was an Auror with me, showed me the invitation to her wedding. It was scheduled two months after our fight." He shook his head. "Mr. McKenzie came to my flat a week before the wedding to check on me."

Sirius smiled. "He cared a lot about you, didn't he?" Harold smiled and nodded. "He cared a lot about you like you care about me?"

"That is exactly it. He was against the marriage but gave his blessing to Argus because Evelyn was so determined to marry him. He came to check on me…and to urge me to win her back before she made the biggest mistake of her life."

His eyes widened. "H-He did?" Harold nodded. "What did he say?"

He smiled. "He said I had to do everything in my power to win her back. He knew I hurt her but he also knew she still loved me after everything. He wanted his daughter to be happy and not to settle for something that was second best."

"Did you listen to him?"

Harold rolled his eyes and Sirius blushed. "Of course I did! You are best mates with our son and married to our daughter, aren't you?" He laughed and nodded. "Well, I tried seeing her but she wouldn't see me. Argus made it clear that she didn't want to talk to me. So, the night before her wedding, I wrote her a letter. I told her every single one of my feelings. I told her how much I loved her and how it killed me inside to be apart from her. I told her everything. I poured my heart and soul into that letter."

"What happened next?"

He smiled. "Argus found the letter before she read it." Sirius gasped and didn't understand why he was smiling. "He made her read it in front of him. When she read it, he saw how much she still loved me. He called off the wedding and she was upset. Evelyn came after me." He shuddered at the thought and Sirius laughed. "She blamed me for ruining her life and that she couldn't believe I waited until her wedding day to tell her how I felt." A faint smile appeared on his face. "I said that she wouldn't let me talk to her and it was the only way. She was confused by that. It turns out that Argus forgot to tell her that I had been stopping by." Sirius shook his head. "She was beautiful when she was yelling at me." Sirius smiled. "She was still in her wedding dress and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was in the middle of yelling at me when I kissed her. She pushed me away and started hitting me while she cried. I took the beating like a man." He rolled his eyes and Sirius laughed. "Evelyn, finally, lost some of her steam and that's when I kissed her again. She held onto me so tightly and cried. She said she tried but never could get over me. I was all she could think about. I was the only one she needed and wanted. I was the only one for her but she didn't want to get hurt again."

"What did you say to her to convince her to come back to you?"

Harold laughed. "I told her that as much as I would love to promise to her that I wouldn't screw up again, I knew I would." Sirius smiled. "I told her that I would screw up again but she could find comfort in knowing that no matter what, she was it for me. No more cheating on her. If I had a problem, I would tell her. I told her she was the one and that was enough for me to try and not screw it up again."

"Did she believe you?"

His smile grew. "We were married a year later and six months after our wedding, James was born."

Sirius laughed. "That was amazing!" Harold nodded. "Even after all that, she came back to you." Harold nodded again. "Why did you tell me this story, Dad?"

Harold sighed. "I told you this story so you wouldn't lose hope. Sammy still loves you, Sirius. When she was leaving, she kept looking at the stairs in hope that you would stop her from leaving."

Sirius' chin trembled. "I was too late, as usual." He sighed. "Dad?" Harold looked at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt her. I never really meant for this to happen. I just wanted to be with her."

He nodded. "I know that, son." He sighed. "Sirius, I know you cheated on her for the same stupid reasons why I cheated on Evelyn." Sirius gulped and nodded. "I'm upset by this but I understand what was going through your mind. I know about the attack…I'm going to try to forgive you for that. I know you didn't mean for that to happen." He nodded again. "I know you hit her." Sirius' eyes widened. He started to sweat. "I want to hurt you for that but then, I would be a hypocrite because…I hit her too."

"Y-You hit Mum?"

Harold shook his head. "No, I never raised a hand to her. I-I hit Sammy." Sirius was surprised as hell by this. "She was upset because I won't let her get a divorce. She kept pushing me and then, she slapped me." He gasped. That wasn't like Sam at all. "She said she hated me. I told her I didn't care. She went to hug me but I thought she was going to slap me again so I slapped her twice. Evelyn kicked me out of the room and Sam said she had no father." He wiped away his tears. "She pushed me so much that I snapped. That's what she did with you, right?" Sirius nodded. "As long as you don't do it again, we will be ok."

"I-I promise it won't happen again."

"S-She flinched when I touched her arm. My little girl was afraid of me." He was silent and Sirius let him have a moment. "That's why we were fighting when we came home. I kept insisting that you did nothing wrong but, as usual, Evelyn proved me wrong." Sirius looked down in shame. "She hasn't spoken to me or James since the fight."

"I'm sorry."

He smiled. "It will be ok, Sirius. I know she's angry but she will come around. If she throws a shoe at me, I know we will be fine." Sirius laughed. Harold eyed him closely. "Sirius?" He looked up. "W-Was…Sammy…you were her first, right?"

Sirius looked at the table and gulped. He didn't want to lie anymore but he didn't want to upset his Dad further. He looked up when Harold coughed. "What?" Harold gave him a look. "I-I was her first." He sighed. It was, technically, not a lie. She did perform that charm on herself. "I was her only, Dad."

"Thank Merlin for that." He muttered. He smiled at Sirius. "It's going to be ok, Sirius. I've been married a long time and I still screw up. I will always screw up but she knows that no matter how much I screw up, I still love only her."

"Thanks for that, Dad."

"Do you think that story will help me with Lily?" They turned around and saw James watching them. He sat down next to Sirius and smiled. "I was listening."

"I didn't see you." Harold said.

James rolled his eyes. "That's why it's called an invisibility cloak, Dad." Harold laughed. "Do you think I still have a chance with Lily?"

"What happened between you and Lily?"

"She broke up with me when I blamed Sam for everything." Harold shook his head. "I understand now why she was so mad. Do you think I can get her back?"

Harold nodded. "I think so, son. We can get our women back."

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Evelyn yawned as she made her way down the stairs. It was five o'clock in the morning and she was awoken by an owl pecking at her window. She stopped short when she saw her husband and sons sitting at the dining room table, talking. "What are you three doing up so early?" 

They turned and stared at her. They gulped when she narrowed her eyes. "We are just talking, sweetheart."

She rolled her eyes. "You will have to take the boys to the train." She looked at them. She sighed. The three of them looked like shit. "Are you two packed and ready to go?"

They nodded. "Why aren't you taking them?"

She glared at him. "I received an urgent owl from the Ministry. Argus needs my help. Some drunken wizards attacked a muggle family."

Harold's eyes narrowed at the mention of Argus. "Why is that prat asking for your help?"

Evelyn smirked. "I'm the aide to the Minister of Magic. He is away on international affairs and the second in command, Argus, has requested my presence. Is that a problem?"

He shifted uncomfortably. He hated it when she gave him rational reasoning. "No, it's not. Just make sure he doesn't touch you."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Harold, he is a married man! I'm a married woman!" He smiled and her glare returned. "I don't know how much longer I will be married but for the time being, I remain faithful." He grunted. "He is my oldest and dearest friend, Harold! Stop acting like such a git!"

He grumbled. "Maybe I should send an owl to Angela Strum. She is an old friend too." If looks could kill, he would have been dead. She stalked out of the room and he looked at the boys. "You better duck after I say what I'm going to say." They gave him a questioning look but nodded. "Sweetheart?" He heard her grunt in response. "You aren't going to divorce me for Argus, are you? Because that means I'm free to be with someone like…Angela." Their eyes widened and the men hit the floor when she grunted. There was a loud bang against the wall behind where Mr. Potter was sitting. They looked up and saw the heel of a stiletto embedded in the wall. Harold smiled. "She still loves me." The boys rolled their eyes and laughed at him.


	60. Chapter 59: Set Backs

**Author's Note: I didn't proof this. I don't feel like it. I can barely keep my eyes open right now. So, don't mind the mistakes. I hope you like it. Next chapter will have a warning for the "_sensitive_" content involved just so you know. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 59: Set Backs.

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Sirius and James were running around the house trying to pack. With all that happened, they forgot they had to go back to school. Evelyn walked down the stairs after she got ready for work and rolled her eyes at them. "I thought you said that you were already packed and ready to go?" They stopped moving and stared at her. They didn't know what to do. "You lied to me. How nice?"

They gulped. "We…we thought we did but we forgot some things." James muttered.

She nodded. "Well, I'm off to work. Have a good term, boys."

They stared at her in surprise. She was just going to leave. They wouldn't be getting her normal hugs goodbye. "Mum?" She stopped walking and looked at them. "You…you're really not coming to see us off?" James asked.

"I thought you said I embarrassed you when I hugged you goodbye?" They shrugged. "I have to go to work, James. I can't come this time."

"Do we get our usual hugs goodbye?" Sirius muttered.

Evelyn couldn't believe her ears. She knew that they hated when she hugged them in front of their friends. She shook her head and laughed. "Aren't you boys to old for your mother to hug you?"

James sighed. "Mum, we know you hate us for what happened but you have to know how sorry we are."

Sirius stared at her. "I know you can't forgive me and I accept that. I will have to work hard for you to trust me again…but James is your real son. I know you won't hug me goodbye but can you at least hug him?"

She stared at them for a moment before sighing. "Have a good term, boys. I have to go to work." She left them and they sighed.

The boys continued to pack and Mr. Potter helped them with their trunks. "She didn't hug you, did she?" They shook their heads and sighed. "She will come around, boys. I know she will." They nodded and were silent for the rest of the morning.

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They walked onto the platform and Mr. Potter gave them brief hugs goodbye but it wasn't the same. They boarded the train and sat in their usual compartment. Lily stopped in their doorway out of habit and James stared at her. She looked away from them. "I'm sorry." He smiled. "This is the wrong compartment. I'll be going now."

James sunk back in his seat when she left. "She didn't even say hello."

Sirius sighed. "She will come around eventually, mate."

He nodded and they sat in silence. They held in a groan when Remus and Peter walked in. "Hey guys!" Remus said with a smile. They nodded in response. He sat down next to James. "How is married life, Sirius?" Sirius grunted in response. He gave him a questioning look. "Where is Sam?" James shook his head aggressively. Remus gave him a weird look. "Ok, where is Lily?" Sirius shook his head aggressively and he groaned. He threw up his arms in frustration. "That's it! I give up! Peter, it's your turn!"

Peter looked at Sirius. "Why wasn't I invited to your wedding?"

They groaned. "Peter!"

He curled up in a ball when they threw things at him. He groaned when a shoe hit him on the head. He rubbed his head while he held up the shoe and stared at it like he didn't know what it was. "Ok, that's just wrong! Who threw a shoe?" James blushed and held out his hand. Peter glared at him as he handed over the shoe. "That was uncalled for!" He huffed. James shrugged in response while he put his shoe back on. He looked at Sirius. "Look, I was just wondering why I wasn't invited! There was no need to throw things at me!"

Sirius sighed. "Sorry about that, Peter." Peter nodded in response. He sighed again. "It was a spur of the moment decision. Lily and James just happened to be there when we decided to elope. Sam…uh…snuck off before the wedding to tell Remus. We felt bad that you weren't there with us. It wasn't the same without you, mate." He lied while slapping him on the back.

Remus and James smiled in surprise. They didn't expect Sirius to lie to spare Peter's feelings. Peter smiled. "Is that true?" They nodded eagerly. "Then I guess it was ok." He smiled. "Well, where is she?"

James and Sirius groaned. "You might as well tell them, mate. They will find out eventually." James said.

Remus looked between them. "What's going on?"

He opened his mouth to speak but James stopped him. "We better take off the concealment charm." He nodded in agreement. They waved their wands around the charm was lifted. Remus and Peter gasped when they saw the matching bruises on James and Sirius' faces. "Now, you can tell the story."

"Did you two fight again?" Peter asked.

Sirius shook his head. "No, James and I didn't fight. I got these bruises from Sam and Mum."

"I've got mine from Lily and Sam." James added.

Remus shook his head in confusion. "What's going on? What happened?"

He took a deep breath. "Get ready, Moony. You will be able to give me that 'I told you so' in a minute." Remus gave him a curious look. Sirius took a deep breath before telling them what happened. He had to change a few things because Peter didn't know about Sam being a dream seer. They stared at him in shock when he was done. "So, that's everything. Let me have it."

"Y-You c-caused the a-attack?" Peter stammered.

Sirius nodded. "That I did." He looked at Remus. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Remus looked at him and shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

He sighed. "I don't know. I want you to say something. You knew I did something and you said you would tell me 'I told you so' when I screwed up. Here is your big moment, Moony. Tell me what a shit I am and get my wife to come back to you."

"Padfoot-"

"NO!" Their eyes widened when Sirius yelled. "No, you tell me what a fucking shit I am right the fuck now! You know you want to say it! Just tell me!"

Remus sighed. "Is that what you want?" He nodded aggressively. "Do you want me to call you a shit and to tell you 'I told you so'?" Sirius growled as he nodded. "Do you want me to say all that to you and then, try and get her back? Is that what you really want?"

"Yes, it is!"

He shook his head. "Well, I won't do it."

"Why the fuck not?"

Remus looked him dead in the eye. "I won't do it." Sirius gritted his teeth. "You know you fucked up. You know you fucked up and she has left you because of it. You went to Dumbledore and are paying the price of your mistakes."

"Just tell me!"

"No, I won't!"

"Why not?"

"I won't tell you that or do that because you know this already. I won't do it because you are looking for a fight that won't happen! Don't try and fight me because you are angry at yourself for screwing up and at Sam for leaving you like you knew she would! Trying to fight with me won't change what you've done and it won't bring her back!" Sirius ran a hand over his face. "No matter what you say or try to do to me, it won't bring her back."

"That's all I want." He muttered.

James sighed as he kneeled in front of his brother as he started to cry again. Remus and Peter weren't prepared for that. They stared in silence as James held onto Sirius as he cried. "Sirius, it's going to be ok. It's going to be ok, mate." He whispered.

"That's all I want, Prongs. That's all I want."

Remus kneeled next to James and stared at Sirius with wide eyes. "What is it, mate? What is it that you want?"

Sirius looked up and wiped his eyes. "I want her back, Moony." He mumbled. Remus sighed. "I want to go back and change everything. I want to go back and stop myself from breaking up with her. I want to take it all back so she would still be with me." James shook his head. "I've been yelled at, hit, and humiliated and I want to go back and change everything except marrying her. That's all I want."

"She'll come back to you, Padfoot." James said with a sigh.

"James-"

James glared at Remus. "What? What are you going to say?"

"I was just going to say that it won't be that easy." Remus looked at Sirius. "You know how stubborn she can be." Sirius nodded slowly. "You have hurt her. It won't be like the last time. I know it wasn't that easy to get on her good side but now, it will be damn near impossible."

"Moony, how is that going to make him feel better?" James grunted.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm not trying to make him feel better. I'm trying to be realistic. He needs to be realistic. Sam won't be forgiving this time. He will need to give her some time before she is ready to talk to him. You know this is true, Prongs."

Sirius sighed. "I know this already, Moony." He sighed again. "If you would have heard what she said to me…"

He smiled encouragingly at him. "I'm sure she said some awful things to you. She can be vicious when she is backed into a corner." Sirius nodded dejectedly. "Sam will come back to you, Padfoot. You just have to learn to be patient."

He looked up at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Remus continued to smile. "No matter what, we are friends. The three of you are my best mates. If one of us is hurt, we stick by them." Sirius smiled. "You are going to be ok, Padfoot. I know you will be."

"Thanks for that."

"Anytime, mate."

They looked at Peter who had been silent once Sirius started to cry. Peter looked back at them. "Why are you s-staring at me?"

They rolled their eyes at him and groaned. "Are you going to help us?" Remus asked.

"Help you with what?"

James growled. He was losing his patience quickly. "Are you going to help us help Padfoot get through this?"

Peter nodded quickly. "O-Of course I will help."

Remus turned to James. "What happened with you and Lily?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" James grunted.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not the only one who needs help, mate. Tell them."

James glared at him for a moment before sighing. "Lily punched me and broke up with me." They stared at him and he groaned. He told them what happened and glared at the floor when he was done. "So, she broke up with me."

Peter's eyes were wide as saucers. "I hope you two don't take this the wrong way but…I'm really glad I didn't spend the holiday with you. I probably would have lost an eye or a finger."

They laughed. Remus stared at James and Sirius. "Everything will be ok. You two have us to help you. Just try and be patient and you will get them back."

They smiled and hugged. James pulled away and laughed. "I love the support and all but we have to stop hugging each other like this. Merlin forbid if someone walks by and sees us like this." They laughed.

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Sirius was startled awake. He yawned when he saw his friends sound asleep and smiled. He was glad that they stood by him no matter what. "They are good people to have around, aren't they?"

He jumped and turned his head. His eyes widened when he saw Sam smiling at him. "W-What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at St. Mungo's?"

Sam laughed. "How can I stay away from you? You are the love of my life." He smiled. "Now, that's what I like to see. I love to see my husband smiling."

Sirius' smile grew when she straddled his hips. She kissed him. "I'm glad you are here."

"Are you?"

He nodded eagerly. "I love you, S-"

Sam put a finger on his lips to stop him from talking. "Don't talk, Sirius. It's enough for me to know that you love me as much as I love you."

Sirius kissed her. "I love you so much, Baby. I love you more than you will ever know."

She smiled. "That's all I ever wanted to hear from you."

He sucked on her neck. "You will hear it everyday. I will tell you that I love you everyday for the rest of my life. I want nothing more than to be with you forever."

Her smile grew as her eyes widened. "Do you mean that, Sirius?"

Sirius pulled away and caressed her cheek. "Of course I mean it." She smiled. He kissed her slowly. "You are my everything. You are all I ever wanted."

"I love you, Sirius."

He smiled. "I love you too." She giggled. "I'm sorry."

Sam gave him a curious look. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you. I should have never hurt you. All I ever wanted was to be with you and I never want to let you go."

She held onto him tightly. "I can't believe you are saying this to me." He took in her scent. "I'll always be with you, Sirius. I'll never let you go."

He held her face in his hands. She bit her lip. "I want…you are the only person that I want to spend my life with." He kissed her. "I want you to be the mother of my children."

Sam let out an excited giggle and he smiled. She kissed him with such eagerness that he found it hard to catch his breath. She started sucking on his neck. He placed his hands on her bum and brought her closer to him. "Touch me, Sirius." She whispered in his ear. He let out a tiny laugh. She unbuttoned her blouse and placed his hands on her. "I need to have you now."

His eyes widened in delight and he smirked. "What about the others?"

She smiled. "I don't care about them. I only want to be with you." She rested her forehead against his. "We can be quiet." She whispered.

Sirius kissed her earlobe and she shivered in delight. "We are never quiet and you know it."

Sam giggled again. "I know that but we could try." She reached down and loosened his belt. He sighed in relief when she unzipped his pants. "Please, be with me, Sirius."

He opened her shirt and kissed her chest. "I'll always be with you." She ran her fingers through his hair. "I need you so much."

"What the fuck do you think you are doing with her?"

Sirius jumped and looked at the door. He was surprised to see a fuming Lily and Lilac. The others woke up and looked around to see what woke them up. Their eyes widened in surprise when they looked at Sirius. James, who was sitting next to him, hit him upside the head. "Padfoot, what the hell are you doing with her?"

He groaned as he rubbed his head. "What are you talking about?" He asked while looking at them. His eyes widened. "Wait! You can see her?"

They rolled their eyes. "Sirius, what are you talking about? Of course we can see her! She is…uh…on your lap!" Remus grumbled.

"You son of a bitch! How could you do this to her?" Lilac yelled.

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" Sirius grunted. He turned to look at Sam. He started to scream when he saw her. She screamed in response. "Sarah, what the hell are you doing here?"

Sarah fell to the floor when he pushed her off of him. "Baby, what's wrong?" Sirius glared at her. "You were fine just a minute ago! You were fine when you were telling me how much you loved and needed me." He shook his head aggressively. "You just said that you wanted to spend your life with me. You want me to be the mother of your children."

Lily looked like she could breathe fire at that moment. "I can't believe you, Sirius! Sam has been gone for a day and you crawl back to her? You disgust me!"

She stood up and glared at her. "Why shouldn't he be with me? He is my boyfriend after all! What does Sam have to do with this?"

Sirius and James groaned while Lily and Lilac stared at Sarah in disbelief. "H-He's your boyfriend?" Lilac stuttered.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course he is! He has been since the beginning of term!"

Lily glared at Sirius. "You are unbelievable! And to think we just sent an owl to Sam to tell her how miserable you were without her! Now, we have to send her another owl to tell her about this. I hope you know that this will crush her. How can you…you are such a selfish asshole!"

Sirius' eyes widened and he stood up. "Lily, please, don't tell her! I can explain!" His pants fell to the floor and he groaned. "I can explain that too."

They covered their eyes and groaned. "Padfoot, I beg you. Put the mouse back in the house. This is a family show." Sirius gave him a curious look. "Pull up your pants and cover yourself. We really don't want to see that!" James groaned.

He looked down and his eyes widened when he saw himself exposed for all his friends to see. He turned and pulled up his pants. He turned back to his friends and sighed. "You can open your eyes now."

They looked at him. "Now, I know why Sam is so crazy about him." Lilac muttered.

Sirius sighed again. "Lily, I beg you. Please, don't tell Sam about this."

Sarah stared between them. "Why would she care about this? It shouldn't matter that we are together. Sam already knows this!"

Lilac groaned. "Why are you still talking? No one cares about what you have to say!"

She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Sirius spoke. "Shut up, Sarah! Lilac is right!" Sarah's eyes filled with tears and she ran out of the compartment. He groaned. "I never thought I'd say that."

Remus shook his head. "You tell Sarah to shut up all the time."

He looked at him. "No, not that. I never thought I'd say that Lilac was right."

"That's very funny, Black!" Lilac grunted. "Do you want to know what's going to be really funny?" He rolled his eyes and shrugged. "It's going to be funny when we tell Sam and she divorces your sorry ass for this!"

Sirius gulped. "You can't do that!" They stared at him in surprise. "She can't divorce me!" They rolled their eyes. "I love her! She can't leave me! Please, don't tell her!"

They glared at him. "Padfoot, explain to us what you were doing with Sarah." Remus said calmly.

Sirius sat down with a sigh. "I thought she was Sam."

Lilac and Lily rolled their eyes. "You thought Sam, your wife, was that whore?" Lilac growled. She looked at Lily. "Sam will get a kick out of that when we tell her."

His eyes widened. "I-I d-didn't mean it like that!"

Lily sighed. "Lilac, let's go. This is pointless and we have a letter to write." She looked at Sirius. "How could you marry her when you were still with Sarah?"

"I didn't count on this, Lily! I never planned on getting married!"

Lilac's head snapped up. "So, you regret marrying her?"

Sirius groaned. "That's not what I said! Stop twisting my words!" He ran a hand over his face. "I love her more than anything! I'd do anything for her! I would have married her if I didn't love her!"

"And, if she wasn't threatened to be sent away!" Lily grunted.

He stood in front of them. "Please, don't tell her!" They shook their heads. "I planned on breaking up with Sarah. I never wanted her! I only wanted Sammy. I was going to break up with Sarah but the attack happened-"

"Which you caused!" They yelled.

He groaned. "Yes, I caused the attack! I'm paying for that mistake! I really am!" They rolled their eyes. "I went to Dumbledore and told him about everything. He put me on probation. If I screw up, I get thrown out of school!"

"Are you telling the truth?" Lily asked.

Lilac glared at her. "Are you…do you actually believe that crap?" She shrugged in response. "Lily, come on! He has done nothing but hurt her! He married her under false pretenses! He almost got her killed!"

Lily sighed. "I know what he's done, Lilac! I was there! I saw how heartbroken she was when she told me all about it!" She sighed again. "I was also there when her brother told her that she didn't have a brother anymore!"

"Don't bring me into this!" James yelled.

She glared at him. "You are a part of this! She was devastated when she decided to leave him! She loves him so much and he hurt her! I saw it in her eyes, James! She didn't want to leave him. She wanted to stay with him but knew that she couldn't." He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, James!" His eyes widened. "She wanted to stay but knew if she did, she would only get worse! Sam had to leave to save herself! She was heartbroken and you made her feel worse about her decision!"

"I-"

She slapped him. "I told you to shut up!" He gulped. "You made her feel like shit when she was already upset! She needed you and you weren't there for her!" She slapped him again. "You lied to us! You should have told us the truth!" She started to cry. "You lied to me, James. I trusted you and you broke that!"

James took a step towards her. "Lily-"

"Don't you dare say a word! I don't want to talk to you anymore!" She took Lilac's hand in hers. "Come on, Lilac. We have a letter to write."

James and Sirius sat down when they left. Remus shook his head slowly. Peter sighed. "I'm really glad I didn't spend the holiday with you two." He muttered.

Remus looked at Sirius. "What happened, Sirius? Why were you with Sarah like that?"

Sirius sighed. "Since Sam…since the day she left…before she left…I've been having these dreams about her. They always seem so real. It's like…it's like she is really there with me. I can touch her and she feels real. We talk and she tells me that I'm the only one for her and she loves me. It's only the two of us…but it's never real. I always wake up and she is gone."

They stared at her. James shook his head. "That's why you were with Sarah." Sirius nodded. "You were dreaming about Sam but Sarah walked in."

He nodded again. "Yes, that's exactly it." He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I feel like I'm going completely nutters! I see her everywhere. I dream about her. I smell her scent." He let out an odd laugh. "I'm going completely mad! I'm going mad and there is nothing I can do to stop it."

Remus blinked. "Is this true?" Sirius nodded. "I…I honestly don't know what to say to that."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows together in concentration. "She has been…visiting you in your dreams?"

Sirius growled. "Yes, she has!" They sighed. "It's like…it's like she haunts me. No matter where I go, she is there. I can't escape her…not even in my dreams." He shook his head. "I don't know what I'm going to do. Once she finds out about what happened, there will be no way in hell that she will talk to me."

They nodded. "This is a set back. Sarah really did screw things up." James said.

Remus nodded in agreement. "This will set us back a bit." They sighed. "We…you have to do damage control, Sirius."

He looked at him. "What do you mean, Moony?"

"You have to talk to her friends. Explain what happened to you before they send the letter. You have to get them before they write it." Sirius nodded. Remus groaned. "I meant that you have to go talk to them now." He looked at him. He groaned again. "Padfoot, you want her back, right?" He nodded eagerly. "Then get off your ass and stop them from sending that letter!" Sirius stood up and stared at them. "Get the fuck out of here and stop them!"

Sirius nodded. "You're right. I'm going."

They rolled their eyes and shook their heads. "I love him like a brother but sometimes, he can be such a fucking moron!" James said. They nodded in agreement.

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Alice shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe him! How could he do that to his own wife?"

"Don't call her that!" Patty scolded. "She has a name! She isn't just his wife! She was our friend before he corrupted her with his last name!"

Mary rolled her eyes. "I don't hear you calling her by her name, Patty."

Lilac groaned. "Shut up the lot of you! Let Lily and I finish the letter and then we will talk about it." They sneered at her. She looked at Lily. "Are we finished yet?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, we are. All we need is an owl to send it."

"You can use mine." Alice offered.

"Thank you, Alice." Lily said. She looked at Lilac and sighed. "Should we send it?"

She nodded. "Of course we should! Sam would do the same thing for us if one of our boyfriends or husbands did this to us! She would do it for us. Why shouldn't we do it for her?"

"Maybe because it will do more harm than good. Sam is very fragile right now. What if this sends her over the deep end?"

Lilac sighed. "That might happen but she deserves to know the truth. That asshole she married continues to hurt and humiliate her! It's not right, Lily! You know this is true! This may be what she needs to get over him for good!"

"That won't ever happen." Alice said.

They looked at her. "What do you mean by that?" Patty asked.

Alice shrugged. "Sam has always loved Sirius. She loved him even after he broke her heart. She will always love him no matter what he does. She will say she hates him and will never forgive him but she will always love and care for him. He is her everything. They are soul mates and no matter what happens between them, nothing will ever change that."

Lily smiled at her. "Do you think we should send the letter?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do. As much as it will hurt her and probably set back her recovery, she deserves to know the truth. She has been lied to long enough by him. If he wants her to be with him again, she needs to know everything. You should send the letter."

They signed their names to the letter and watched the owl fly away. It felt like an eternity passed before the owl was out of sight. They looked up when the compartment door opened. They glared at Sirius while he stood in the doorway looking rather uncomfortable. "Can I talk to you two?" He mumbled while looking at Lily and Lilac.

Patty sneered at him. "No, you can't! You either talk to all of us or none of us, adulterer!"

Sirius winced. "You all know about what happened I take it."

"Yes, we do, asshole!" Mary grunted.

Alice sighed. "What do you have to say to us, Sirius?"

He looked at Alice and felt like she was on his side but he knew better. It was five against one and he would never win. "I-It wasn't what you thought." They looked bored. He sighed. "What you saw, it did happen but it didn't."

Lilac rolled her eyes. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Can I sit?"

They shook their heads except for Alice. "Yes, you can." They glared at her. She rolled her eyes. "What? He is…was our friend too. We have to give him a chance to defend himself."

"No, we don't!" Patty grumbled.

"Sit down, Sirius." Lily whispered.

Sirius sat down next to Alice and sighed. "Thank you, Alice and Lily." They shrugged in response. "You won't believe me when I tell you this-"

"So, why even bother then?" Mary said coolly.

Lily groaned. "That's enough!" Their eyes widened. "Let him speak his peace!"

They nodded slowly. He squirmed under their gaze. "Sam has been haunting me." They scoffed. He told them about his dreams and waited for them to respond. "That's what happened. I swear, I wouldn't cheat on her."

"Well, you already did that, didn't you?" Lilac growled. He hung his head in shame. "You already cheated on _your wife_ with _your girlfriend_! Why should we believe what you have to say? You cheated on her before, why wouldn't you do it again?"

he groaned. "I wouldn't do it again!" They rolled their eyes. "I love her! I made a mistake! I-I never meant for her to get hurt!" He started to cry. Lily wasn't surprised by this but the others were. "S-She is everything to me and I screwed it up again! My wife hates me. Everyone will hate me." He looked at their shocked faces. "It doesn't matter if the school hates me. I don't care about them. The only think I care about is that my friends forgive me. I don't deserve it but I need it. Your opinion, even yours, Lilac, matters to me." Lilac hid her smile. "I just want her back. I need her back." He looked at Lily and Lilac. "I never planned on marrying her while we were still in school…but I don't regret it." They sighed. "I will never regret marrying her." They eyed him closely. "You need to get that straight. I may not have planned on marrying her so soon but I will never regret it!" He took a deep breath. "When she left…I can't be without her. I understand why she left me. I'm not stupid. I deserved to be left. I-I just want her back." They sighed. "Please, don't send that letter. Let me tell her about what happened. She needs to hear it from me."

They squirmed. Alice sighed. "Sirius, I believe that you are sorry for what happened." He nodded slowly. "You're right, you know?" He gave her a curious look. "You should be the one to tell her about what happened but…it's too late now."

His eyes widened. "W-What do you mean, Alice?"

Mary shrugged. "We sent the letter already."

Sirius groaned. "Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" He yelled. They jumped. His chin trembled. "That's it then. I lost her. My wife is going to divorce me now."

"You don't know that, Sirius." Alice said.

He looked at her. "Of course I know that, Alice!" She sighed. "There was a slim chance that she would forgive me but now, I don't have a prayer." He was so upset that his temper got the best of him. "Why?" He glared at Lilac. "Why did _you_ have to send that fucking letter?" She glared at him. "Thanks to you, she won't ever forgive me!"

Lilac sneered at him. "Thanks to me? You are the one that did this!" He growled. "Sam would have done the same for us! You don't have the right to be angry! She does!"

"He has every right to be angry." Alice muttered. They glared at her. Sirius stared at her in surprise. "His wife left him. He has a right to be upset and hurt. He loves her but she left him anyway."

"Alice, how can you say that?" Mary asked in disbelief.

She shrugged. "It's easy for me to say this. He has a right to be upset but…he deserved it." She looked at Sirius. "I know you are sorry for your actions." He nodded slowly. "I can accept that. _I _can try to forgive you but it's not my forgiveness you need. You need Sam's forgiveness. Sirius, she needed to hear the truth from you but we told her instead. That's just how it worked out. I know that I can try to forgive you."

He sighed. "Thank you, Alice."

"Write to her, Sirius." Lily muttered while staring out the window.

"What?"

Lily looked at him. "If you mean what you say then write to her about what happened but use your own words. Tell her what you told us."

Sirius smiled at her. "Do you think that will work?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not telling you this to help you win her back. I'm telling you this so there is a chance for her to love. She will need to hear the truth from her husband and not her friends for once." He looked away from her. "If she decides to come back to you then good for you. If she decides to move on then good for her. Sam deserves to be happy for once. She deserves a chance at a normal and a happy life…even if it's not with you."

Sirius nodded and stood up. He walked to the door but stopped and looked at Lily. "Are we ok?"

Lily shook her head. "No, we are not ok, Sirius." His face fell. "I don't know if we will ever be ok again."

He nodded. "I want you all to know something." They looked at him. "I'm an asshole." They nodded in agreement. "I know I am one but…no matter what, I care about you…all of you. I will get Sam back." They glared at him. "I will get her back even if it's just as a friend. I will also get all of you back. I don't care how long it takes. I will get all of you back." They hid their smiles. He looked at Lily. "James needs you, Lily. He loves you and he is sorry for lying to you."

She looked at him as he walked out the door. "I don't care."

Sirius grimaced. He turned and looked at her. "Yes, you do." He was gone.

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They looked up when the compartment door opened. Sirius sat down next to James with a sigh. "How'd it go?" James asked.

Sirius grunted in response. They sighed. "What happened, mate?" Remus asked.

"I talked to them. I told them about what happened and about my dreams. Alice seemed to be the only one who seemed willing to forgive me." He sighed. "They sent the letter just before I arrived." They groaned. "Lily told me to write to Sam."

"You talked to Lily?" James asked quickly.

He nodded slowly. "She told me to tell Sam about what happened in my own words." James smiled. "She's not trying to help me get her back. She just thought that Sam needed to hear the truth from me…for once."

Remus sighed. "They are right, you know?"

"I know they are."

"What are you going to do?" Peter asked.

James looked at him. "Did Lily mention me? Did she say anything about coming back to me?"

Sirius sighed. "I told her you needed her. I told her you loved her and that you were sorry for lying to her."

"What did she say?"

"She said that she didn't care but I told her she did." He smiled at him. "You will get her back, mate." He looked at Peter. "To answer your question…I'm going to take Lily's advice. I'm going to write to Sam and explain the situation."

Remus smiled. "That's good to know." Sirius smiled. "Ok, we've got a letter to write, mates! Let's get started!"

Sirius stared at him in surprise. "Y-You're going to help me?"

"No, he isn't." James said. They looked at him. "_We_ are going to help you."

"And, you can use my owl to send it!" Peter said.

He stared at his best friends and smiled. "Thanks, mates." They nodded in response and started to write the letter.


	61. Chapter 60: Like Glass

**Author's Note: Ok, I didn't proof yet again. I've got to get ready for work and don't have the time. If there any huge mistakes, I'll repost it, ok? This chapter is like the others. Melodramatic. ****I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy! And, of course…HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!**

**WARNING:**** This chapter deals with a sensitive topic. If you, at any time, don't feel comfortable reading it, I'd advise that you get the hell out my story page. Didn't mean that in a rude way. I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable while they are reading my story. If you can't take it or whatever, I won't hold it against you if you didn't finish the chapter. **

**Ok, if you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you can't finish it, I won't be mad. I'll shut up now. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! Again, enjoy!

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**Chapter 60: Like Glass.

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Her eyes opened when the door shut closed. She stretched out in her bed and yawned. She looked at her wrists in confusion. She could have sworn that she had restraints on her wrists before she went to bed. She sat up as much as she could. She loosened the restraints on her ankles and got out of bed to sit on the windowsill. She rested her head on the window frame and watched the city below. She sighed to herself. It was only her first night there at St. Mungo's and she already missed being at home. She sighed again. Her thoughts were jumbled and she wished she was still asleep so she could escape them. Sam turned her head and his scent filled her senses. She felt a presence in the room with her and she smiled. "You aren't even here with me and I can still smell your scent." She whispered.

Sirius sat down next to her and smiled. "We are connected. No matter what, we are connected to each other."

She looked at him. "How do you know that?"

He smiled. "We are soul mates, Sammy. We are soul mates with a bond that can never be broken." His smile grew. "You know this already."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, I do." She turned her head to look out the window again. "Will I ever be able to get over you, Sirius?"

He moved to sit Indian style and watched her closely. "Do you want to get over me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She looked at him. "Did I do the right thing?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Did I do the right thing by leaving you?"

Sirius sighed. "I can't answer that." She glared at him and he laughed. "The only person that can answer your question is you." She sighed. "Do you know the answer?"

Sam groaned. "I don't even know the question!"

He laughed. "You know the question, baby. Do you think you did the right thing?"

It took her a moment to think about it before she nodded slowly. "Yes, I do."

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm crazy, Sirius." He looked at her with a curious smile. "I'm being honest! I'm crazy and I'm getting worse. If I stayed with you…I would have only gotten worse."

Sirius nodded. "I understand, Sammy."

"Do you? Do you really understand?"

"Yes, I do. You need to get better before you can be with anyone."

Sam smiled. "Are you angry that I left you?"

He looked out the window and sighed. "What do you think?" He whispered. She shrugged slowly. He looked at her. "Yes, I am." She sighed in defeat. "I have every right to be angry that you left me on our wedding night. I have every right to be angry…just like you have every right to be angry with me." She looked at him. "I hurt you, Sammy. I keep on hurting you but I never mean to hurt you. I just love you so much that sometimes…a lot of the time, I get crazy myself and do stupid things." He took her left hand in his and smiled and the wedding band. "All I want is for you to be happy. All I want is to love you and have you love me in return." She smiled. "I need you, Sammy. I need you so much that it scares me. Your opinion, besides James', is the only one that really matters to me."

Sam smiled. "I know that." He gave her a disbelieving look and she laughed. "I really do know all that, Sirius. It's just that…" She trailed off.

Sirius kissed her wedding band and smiled. "What is it, Sammy? Remember, you can tell me anything and I won't judge you." He laughed. "I can't judge anyone with what I've done."

She sighed. "It's just that when you told me what you did…I lost it." He nodded eagerly. "I couldn't take all the information being thrown at me at once. I was surprised by what you told me. I was hurt and angry."

"I know, Baby." She smiled. "If I would have left when you told me to maybe we could have saved our relationship…our marriage."

"You don't think our marriage can be saved?"

He looked at her in surprise. "You want our marriage to be saved?"

"I-I don't know. I-I'm not sure really."

"But you said you wanted a divorce. Are you changing your mind again?"

Sam groaned. "I don't know!" He just watched her. "I don't know anything anymore, Sirius!" She sighed. "I knew for sure that you would never cheat on me but you did. I knew that once we got together that you wouldn't lie to me anymore but that's all you did!" He nodded slowly. "Then when I came back…you seemed to be really ready to be with me. We agreed to just be friends but…we both knew that we weren't over. We kept going to each other and we kept kissing." She sighed. "It's like we couldn't…it's like we had to be near each other, to touch each other, or we couldn't make it through the day."

"That can be easily explained."

She looked at him closely. "It can?" He nodded. "Explain it to me."

Sirius smiled and held out his hands. "Come to me, Samantha." She gave him a weary look. He laughed. "I'm not going to hurt or molest you, I swear." She giggled and crawled over to him. He sighed in content when her back leaned into his chest. He smiled when she laughed as he wrapped his arms and legs around her tightly. She rested her head on his shoulder and he leaned his temple on hers. They stared out the window in silence and she enjoyed being in his arms again. He kissed her temple. "We have true love, Samantha." She nodded. "We have more than just love." She turned her head and looked at him curiously. He kissed her slowly. "What we have is more than just love. We have passion." She smiled slowly. "We've always had it. You know this is true." She shrugged. "We…even when we were just friends…we had to be around each other. We needed to be near each other. We needed to touch each other in some way. We have passion when we sit together. We have passion when we talk. We have passion when we shag." She laughed and nodded eagerly. "And, we definitely have passion when we fight."

"So, it's a good thing?"

He nodded. "Of course it is. People like us need more than just love. We need something to fuel our love…we need something to fight for. So, when we fight, we don't just fight for our love and we don't just fight to stay together. We fight for all that and to save our passion. The passion we have…it's what makes us who we are."

Sam kissed him slowly. "That's why we fight so hard?" He nodded. "That's good to know. I just thought we were completely nutters."

He laughed. "Well, we are that too." She smiled. He looked at her and smiled. "Stand up, Sammy."

"W-What?"

"Stand up."

"Why should I?"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sammy. Please, stand up." She shrugged and stood up. He led her into the middle of the room and smiled at her. The moon was their spotlight. He placed her hand on his shoulder and put his hand on her hip. He held her other hand in his and smiled when she gave him a curious look. "Would you do me the honor, Mrs. Black?"

Sam blushed. "Y-You want to dance?" He nodded. "With me?" He nodded and smiled. "Right now?"

Sirius laughed. "Yes, I do." She laughed. "What?"

She looked around the room before her eyes settled on him. "We are in the hospital nutter ward for one thing."

He shrugged. "That doesn't matter. If they see then we are just fitting the profile of someone who is mad." She giggled. He smiled. "What else?"

She shrugged. He sighed and lifted her chin up by his finger to look her in the eyes. He kissed her and she blushed. "There's no music, Sirius."

Sirius smiled and winked at her before snapping his fingers. Sam gasped. Music filled their ears and the room. The moonlight made them glow and he watched her as she kept looking around the room in wonderment. "Shall we dance, Mrs. Black?"

She set her eyes upon him and smiled. "Why?" He gave her a curious smile. "Why do you want to dance with me?"

Sirius caressed her cheek. She leaned into his touch. "We never got to have a first dance, did we?" She shook her head slowly. "Now, it's our turn to dance." Her eyes widened in delight and she gave him a soft kiss. "Shall we dance, Mrs. Black?"

Sam took his hand and stepped closer to him. "Yes, we shall, Mr. Black."

She rested her head on his shoulder and he rested his cheek against her forehead. She took in his scent and sighed in content. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered. She lifted her head off of his shoulder and stared at him. "I love you."

She bit her lip. "Do you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why did you do all those things? It seems like you don't love me after all that."

He held her face in his hands. "I love you. No matter what I have done, I love you."

"I don't-"

"Samantha, believe me. I did those things because, in my mind, it was the only way I could think of to show my love for you." She gave him a disbelieving look. He laughed. "I know that it sounds ass backwards but it's the truth."

She shook her head and tried to pull away. "I don't believe that. How can I believe it? You aren't real. You are just an illusion. It's all in my head. You aren't here with me." She sighed. "I'm alone. You are at home and about to go back to school."

Sirius nodded. "That is true." She sighed again. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her hand. She stared at him in surprise when he placed her hand over his heart. He placed his hand over her heart. "Do you feel that, Sammy?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "All I feel is you trying to dream grope me."

He laughed. "Well, that's a give-in. I'll always try to grope you even in our dreams." She laughed and shook her head. "Do you feel my heart, Sammy?" She nodded. He smiled. "My heart belongs to you. I love only you. You and I…we are meant to be."

Sam sighed. "Why are you saying this? Why are you doing this to me?"

"What? What am I doing to you?"

"You are making it impossible to hate you!"

Sirius smirked. "Good. I'm glad." She glared at him. "Sammy, do you still love me?" She gave him a pained look. "You do, don't you?"

She pulled away from him. "Of course I do! You said it yourself!" He gave her a questioning look. "A person can't stop loving someone after only a minute!" She bit back a sob. "It would be so much easier if I never loved you."

He pulled her to him and held her tightly. "Don't say that!"

"Why not?"

"Because it would be a lie!" She shrugged. "Sammy, we both know that we belong together. There is no fighting it."

"Sirius, all we've done is cause each other pain. Why are we meant for this?"

"The only thing we are meant for is to be together." She sighed. "This may just be a dream but the words are real." She nodded. "Dance with me. That's all I'm asking for. Just give me this one dance."

Sam looked at him. "I'll dance with you." He smiled. They held each other closely and moved to the soft playing music. He nuzzled her cheek with his. "I-I wish this was real, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "Do you?"

"Yes, I do." He kissed her. "I do love you, Sirius." He smiled again. "You are all I've ever wanted."

"You will always have me. Never doubt that, ok?"

She blushed and smiled. "I won't."

They walked over to the window and sat down. "Can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

He held her to him and smiled when her arms wrapped around him. "Will you give me another chance?" She looked at him. "Will you talk to me again and try to give me another chance?"

"I-"

Sirius held up his hands to stop her from talking. "Wait! Just listen to me before you say anything." She nodded slowly. "Will you listen?"

Sam blushed and laughed. She touched his cheek and kissed him. "Baby, I'll listen to you. Tell me what you want me to know and I promise I will listen."

He smiled and kissed her back. "I love you." She smiled. "You are in my heart. You are the only one I want to be with." Her blush and smile grew. "I know I've screwed things up royally but you have to know that I would take it all back if I could. I regret everything."

Her eyes widened. "Y-You regret everything?" He nodded. Her eyes watered and her chin trembled. He stared at her in surprise. "D-Do you regret being with me? D-Do you regret marrying me?"

"W-What?"

She held his hands. "I'm sorry, Sirius." He stared at her in confusion. "I-I know it was the right thing to do to leave. I needed to leave you to get better." He nodded. "But I never regretted being with you." She sighed. "I-I know I said I did but that was a lie! You are my heart, Sirius. I love you." He smiled. "I never…I will never regret marrying you." His smile grew. "I…I love you and always will."

Sirius kissed her. "That's nice to know." She sighed. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Why did you just tell me all of that?"

"You said you regretted everything. That meant you regretted being with me and marrying me."

He laughed. "That's not what I meant."

"I-It's not?"

Sirius shook his head and smiled. "No, it's not." She stared at him intently. "I meant that I regretted what I did. I regretted hurting you. If I could take back all the times I hurt you, I would." She nodded. "I will never regret being with you and I, certainly, will never regret marrying you." She smiled slowly. "I know the mistakes I've made and I know I've hurt you but I love you. I love you so much and now, I know you love me too."

She kissed him. "I do love you, Sirius. I really do love you."

He held her closer. She snuggled into him. "I know that, Baby." He kissed the top of her head. "I want you to know how sorry I am for what I did. I want you to know that I am sorry and that I love you. I will love you forever and I need you with me." She smiled. "Promise me that when we see each other again that you will try to forgive me. Promise me that you will talk to me again and try to forgive me."

Sam held onto him like she never wanted to let him go. "I promise, Sirius. I promise I will talk to you and try to forgive you."

Sirius sighed. "That's all I ask." They kissed. "It's time for me to go." He kissed her and stood up to leave. He stopped when she grabbed his hand. He looked at her in surprise. "What? What is it?"

She gave him a sad look. "I don't want you to go. I don't want you to leave."

"I have to go, Sammy."

"No, you don't."

He smiled. "Yes, I do."

"Why? Why do you have to go away?"

Sirius sat down next to her and kissed her. "It's time for me to leave." She shook her head aggressively. He smiled. "Sammy, I need to go."

Sam wrapped her arms around his neck. "No, you don't!" He just smiled at her. She sighed in defeat. "Why do you have to go now? After you told me what you felt and how you need me, why do you have to go?"

He caressed her cheek. "You need to think about what I told you. You need to rest and relax your mind." She sighed again. "You know this is true." She nodded slowly. "You know I'm sorry and that I need you. I know that after all I've done, you still love me." She nodded eagerly. "You need to sleep. You need to think of what you are going to do. You need to know what you want and you need to get better." She nodded again. "I know you love me, Sammy. I know in my heart that you do. So, don't worry about staying here. Take the time you need to help yourself before you come back to me."

She held onto him for a moment before letting go and giving him a deep kiss. "Ok, I understand why you have to go." He kissed her. "I will come back to you."

Sirius put his finger on her lips and smiled when she kissed it. "Don't make any promises just yet." She nodded reluctantly. "I love you. Take the time you need. I will understand."

She leaned her back against the wall and sighed in content when he kissed her once more. "Ok, I will. I'll take the time I need, Sirius."

He kissed her again. "That's all I ask, Sammy."

Sam looked at him and smiled. "I love you, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "I know, Baby. I love you too." He was gone.

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There was a pecking noise at the window. She groaned when she heard the noise and when the sun hit her eyes. She yawned as she rubbed her eyes. She looked at the clock on the wall and groaned. It was noon and she sighed. It felt like she just went to bed. She groaned again when she went to the window and opened it. She let out a lazy smile when she saw Lily's owl. She untied the letter from the owl's leg and fed it a spare cracker and gave it some water before it flew away. She held the letter and went back to bed. She got underneath the covers and snuggled into them. She sighed before she opened the envelope. 

"_Dear Sammy,_

_How is the nut house treating you this time?_"

Sam laughed and rolled her eyes. "It's good to hear from you, Lilac."

"_Don't mind her, Sam. She is a moron._" Sam laughed out loud. "_I'm not a moron! I was just joking around to make you laugh!_" She giggled. It was like she could hear them arguing while they wrote the letter. "_We have something to tell you._" Sam's eyebrows furrowed together. "_Lily is being dramatic. It's nothing life threatening._" She laughed again. "_I didn't mean to sound dramatic. If I did, I apologize for that._" Sam smiled and rolled her eyes. "_Why is she apologizing to you? She is the moron, not me._" She howled with laughter. "_I really do hate her sometimes._" Sam wiped away the tears from her eyes as she continued to laugh. "_She doesn't hate me. Who could hate me? I'm so damn loveable!_" She started to cough when her laughing became uncontrollable. "_It's about Sirius…_"

Her eyes widened as she read the letter. They told her how miserable Sirius was without her. They described how broken he was. Her heart ached as she read the letter. She didn't want this. She didn't want him to be broken. She knew she hurt him with what she said and how she left but she didn't want him to be a shell of himself because of what happened. The door to her room opened just as she finished the letter. "Samantha, are you ok?"

Sam looked up and smiled. "I'm alright. I was just reading a letter from my friends."

The nurse smiled at her. "They are sending you letters already?" She nodded. "That was very nice of them. They must miss you very much."

She nodded. "They do. I miss them too." She smiled. "We are very close. They are a part of my family."

"It's good to have close friends like that when you are going through a tough time."

She nodded again. "It is." She looked at her and sighed. "Molly?"

Molly looked at her and smiled. "What is it, dear?"

Sam sighed. "I…" She bit her lip. "H-How are your sons doing?"

Her face lit up at the mention of her boys. "They are doing just fine."

"Tell me about them."

Molly sat down on the side of the bed and smiled at her. "Bill is my little adventurer. Charlie keeps trying to make us get him a pet dragon. I hope he gets out of that phase." Sam laughed. "Percy…he is a special boy. He hates to do anything that he thinks I won't approve of. Bill and Charlie…" She trailed off and laughed. "Percy told me how they snuck into the garden during their nap time and started chasing the gnomes in our garden. They tied him upside down over one of the gnomes and he screamed for an hour."

She laughed. "That poor baby. Did Bill and Charlie get into trouble?"

She nodded. "Of course they did. They know better than to do that." Sam laughed again. "Did you really want to know how the boys are doing?"

Sam shrugged. "Yes, I did. I love hearing about your kids. They are very entertaining." Molly shook her head and laughed. "Molly, do you ever regret marrying Arthur?"

Molly's eyes widened. "Of course I don't." She stared at the younger girl closely. "Why are you asking me that?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know." Molly smiled and waited patiently for her to continue. She laughed. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No, you can't. It's a mother's curse to know when someone is hiding something from them." She patted her hand. "What's on your mind, dear?"

"I can talk to you, right? I can trust you, can't I?"

"Of course you can. The last time you were here; we had many long talks, didn't we?" She nodded. "What's on your mind?"

Sam sat up in the bed and sighed. "I got married on New Year's Eve."

She looked at her in surprise. "Y-You did?" She nodded. "But you are so young!" She shrugged in response. She sighed. "I guess congratulations are in order then."

"Well…I don't know about that." Molly gave her a curious look. "I-I left him on our wedding night."

"W-Why did you do that? What happened?" Sam sighed. "Is this the same boy that broke up with you before?" She nodded. "Tell me what happened."

Sam told her about what happened on her wedding night and about what happened with James and her father. She stuttered when she told her about the dream she had of Sirius the night before. "I'm confused, Molly." Molly stared at her in silence. "I've accepted that the attack happened. I'm dealing with it."

"That's good. You need to work through it." She nodded. "What are you confused about?"

She sighed. "When he told me about what he did…I lost it."

Molly laughed. "That is an understatement."

Sam laughed. "Yes, I guess, it is." Molly nodded. "I-I said those horrible things to him. I was just so hurt and angry that I wanted him to hurt as much as he hurt me. I wanted him to feel even a quarter of the pain he put me through." She sighed. "I got what I wanted. He is broken because of me."

She looked at her in curiosity. "What do you mean?" Sam handed her the letter. She stared at her when she was done. "Does what…uh…Lily and Lilac told you about him change your decision about coming here?"

"No, it doesn't. The thing I'm confused about…it's just that…the dream I had about him last night really confused me."

"You still love this boy, don't you?"

Sam nodded slowly. "I do." She sighed again. "I don't know what to do, Molly. I've loved him since I was ten and married him because I loved him but he has hurt me so many times." She shook her head. "I realized that, after I had that dream, I miss him. I miss him so much." She looked at her. "I miss my husband, Molly."

She nodded. "You love him and miss him." Sam nodded. "It seems to me that you know what you want. What is there to be confused about?"

She shrugged. "I'm still so angry with him. The things he has done…who would forgive that? If it was anyone else, I'd leave them without a second thought…but since it's him, all I'm having is second thoughts!"

Molly smiled. "Samantha, marriage is hard work. You are young and in love with a boy who is just as confused as you are."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He as pushed you away since you met. He fell in love with you when you were with someone else but he thought he was crazy. He found the courage to tell you how he felt after playing games with you. The two of you were finally together but he got scared by the thought of being with you for the rest of his life. He hurt you because he was scared and confused. That is why he reacts the way he does. He was scared at the thought of losing you to your ex-boyfriend and your friend. He was confused because he thought that you were coming back to him but saw you kissing your friend. He lashed out at the one person he deems weak and worthless. Your husband, like all men, is just a scared little boy inside. He wants nothing more than to be with you and does everything in his power to make that happen. That's what I mean."

"I understand what you are saying." She smiled. "What should I do, Molly? What would you do?"

Molly sighed. "I would…this is a tough one." Sam nodded. "I would try to get better and then, I would do everything in my power to save my marriage."

"Y-You would?"

"Yes, I would." She patted her hand. "Arthur means everything to me. He is my husband and no matter what, I will stand by him." Sam smiled. "Marriage is more than sweet words and romantic moments. It's dealing with the hard times and getting through them. It's accepting each other's flaws and loving each other despite them. It's obvious to me that you feel the same way about your husband that I feel about mine." She nodded slowly. "Take this time to help yourself and then, go back to fight for your marriage."

Sam smiled. "Thank you, Molly. I really appreciate your help."

They hugged. "Anytime, Samantha." She got up to leave but turned back to look at her. "One more thing." Sam looked at her. "Make him work for your forgiveness. Just because you love him doesn't mean that you let him get away with murder."

She laughed. "Thanks again, Molly. I'll keep that in mind." She smiled and nodded before she left.

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Evelyn smiled as she walked down the hall. "Molly, it's so good to see you." 

The women hugged. "How are you, Evelyn?"

"I'm doing just fine. How is the patient?"

Molly smiled. "Samantha is just fine. She received a letter from her friends and had a little problem but I helped her through it."

She looked at her in surprise. "What happened?" Molly explained the situation and told her the advice she gave. She sighed. "Molly, please, don't tell me that you convinced her to go back to him."

Her eyes widened. "I-I told her to take care of herself first before she makes a decision. I told her to fight for what she wanted but don't lay down and have people walk all over her." Evelyn nodded. "Is there any reason why you don't want her with him? From what she has told me, your family has practically adopted him. What is your problem with him?"

Evelyn shook her head. "I don't need a counseling session, Molly." Molly's eyebrow rose and she sighed. They sat down in the chairs by Sam's room and she looked around to make sure no one was listening. "I love him like a son. I have since he came home to spend Christmas with us in his first year. He was such a sweet boy and he was always very protective of Sammy." Evelyn smiled. "They were always close, even when she couldn't speak in front of him." Molly laughed. "From the moment they met, it seemed that they had this unspoken bond with one another just like he had with my son James." She let out a tiny laugh. "I always knew he was in love with my daughter but he was too stupid to know it." Molly laughed. "He was so adorable when he realized he was in love with her. He always tried to take care of her but it seemed that he tried to be even more considerate. He would hang on her every word and tried everything to get her attention away from her boyfriend." Molly nodded. Evelyn sighed again. "The problems I have with him…what he has done to my daughter. He has hurt her so much and now, she is here because of his actions." She nodded again. "I still love him like a son. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him but I have to think of Sam now. She needs me and he has betrayed my trust in him. I trusted him to take care of her and treat her right. He hasn't done that."

"I don't know about that."

"What do you mean?"

Molly laughed. "I was just at the nurses' station and I overheard two of the nurses talking. Vanessa, she is the…uh…mean looking red head, and Mildred, the newest nurse. She has the odd looking blonde hair." Evelyn nodded. "Well, it turns out that there was this man walking the halls while they were gossiping about Sam. Vanessa recognized him as Sam's husband." Evelyn looked at her with interest. "Well, he overheard Vanessa tell Mildred all about how they ran away to get married to prove that Sam was sane and how she didn't need to be here." She groaned. "Well, he walked over to them and yelled at them. He told them that Sam had a horrible thing happen to her and she didn't need the people who were supposed to be helping her talking about her like that. He said that she was the best person he knew and that she deserves to be treated better. He also told them that if he wasn't married, he still wouldn't touch them." Evelyn laughed. "He threatened to get them fired and told them that her name was Mrs. Black now and they better remember it."

"He said all of that to them?"

She nodded. "Yes, he did." Evelyn smiled. "So, you see, he does care for her, Evelyn. He has made some horrible mistakes but he does love her. You and Samantha have to find it in yourselves to forgive him. If he means so much to the two of you then you should at least try to forgive him."

Evelyn hugged her. "Thank you, Molly." Molly nodded and smiled in return. "I don't know what Sam and I would do without your words of wisdom."

Molly laughed. "I'm sure you would do just fine without my meddling."

"I don't know about that." Evelyn looked at Sam's door and sighed. "I better go in. She is expecting me." Molly nodded. "It's good to see you again, Molly."

"It's good to see you too."

"Thank you for your help, Molly. Sam and I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Evelyn."

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Evelyn smiled when she walked into her daughter's room and saw her lying in bed. Sam looked at her and Evelyn's heart swelled when she saw the smile on her face. "How's my little girl doing?" Sam moved over and hugged her when she sat down next to her. She held onto her tightly and sighed. "It's good to see you smiling again, sweetheart." 

Sam rested her head on her mother's shoulder. "I'm doing ok, Mama. How are you?"

She kissed the top of her head. "I'm alright." She stroked her hair. "I spoke to Molly."

She looked at her. "Did you?" She nodded. "What did she say?" Evelyn told her about the conversation and her eyes widened. "H-He was here? He said that to them for me?" Evelyn watched her closely and nodded slowly. Sam bit her lip and smiled. "I can't believe he would do that for me after everything I said to him."

Evelyn cocked an eyebrow. "You had every right to be upset and lash out after what he has done and said to you." She nodded slowly. "So, I'm going to assume that I should hold off on helping you with that divorce?"

Sam shrugged. "I-I think so." She nodded. Sam handed her the letter Lily and Lilac sent her and she read it. Evelyn folded the letter when she was done and looked at her daughter with a smile. "Should I try and save my marriage, Mama?"

"I don't know, Baby. Do you want to save your marriage?"

"I think I need to take Molly's advice, Mama." Sam sighed. "I need to take care of myself first before I decide anything regarding my marriage to Sirius. I know I still love him but I'm still angry with him. I need to work it all out before I make anymore life changing decisions."

Evelyn nodded. "That sounds like a good idea to me." She hugged her tightly. "You are going to be ok, Sammy. I know you will be."

Sam smiled. "Thank you, Mama."

She kissed her forehead. "I'm going to go talk with your counselor-"

"Andrew's back?"

Evelyn eyed her closely. "No, he isn't. I meant your substitute counselor." Sam nodded. "You call Dr. Roberts by his first name?" She nodded and shrugged. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Is…was there something going on between the two of you?"

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Is there anything going on between you and Dr. Roberts?" Sam laughed and shook her head. "Was there anything going on between the two of you?"

She smiled. "Mama, please, don't be ridiculous! I have enough trouble dealing with my husband!"

"Are you sure?"

"Mama, I'm sure. During one of our sessions, I accidentally called him by his first name and he told me to call him Andrew from now on. That's all. I promise."

She nodded reluctantly. "Ok, I believe you." Sam smiled. "I will be right back, ok?" Sam nodded and Evelyn walked out of the room.

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Sam sighed when her mother left. She laughed at her mother and her suspicions about the relationship she had with Andrew. She had every right to be suspicious but nothing serious happened. Nothing serious would ever happen between the two of them. 

She rested her head on her pillow and yawned. She looked up when she heard a pecking noise at the window. She smiled when she saw Alice's owl. She opened the window and took the note from its leg. It flew away before she had a chance to feed it or give it water. She laughed when she saw the familiar handwriting. "I miss you too, Lily, but this is over kill." She muttered before opening the letter.

Sam sat on the window seat and began to read the second letter from the dynamic duo. "_Dear Sammy,_" Sam still couldn't believe that they sent another letter a few hours after the first one. She wondered if Sirius, somehow, had gotten worse.

"_We're sorry that we have to send you another letter so soon after the first. You need to disregard the first letter._"

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "What the hell?"

"_We saw something. We don't know how to tell you this but you need to know. You would do the same thing for us. So, we feel the need to tell you about what happened…_"

Sam read the letter. She took in every word. Her eyes widened and her face fell as she read the letter. She sunk against the wall and the letter dropped to the floor. "No…" She whispered. "No, it can't be true." She picked up the letter and read it again. She just shook her head and the letter found its way to the floor once again. "He…he wouldn't do that again." She whispered. "He promised that he wouldn't do that to me again."

Her thoughts were jumbled. She couldn't believe what she read. She didn't want to believe what she read. Her heart raced and slowed down at the same time. Her eyes darted around the room and settled upon the empty potion bottles. A surge of rage flowed through her as she stared at the bottles. She walked over to the table and picked one of them up. She held it in her hand with a firm grip. "He promised me!" She yelled as she threw the bottle against the wall. Glass shattered and fell to the floor as she began to cry hysterically. She picked up another bottle but held it too tight. It shattered in her hand and she let out a strangled sob when some of the glass cut her already injured hand. She let the pieces of glass fall to the floor. She threw another bottle against the wall and blood soaked pieces of glass glittered on the floor. "That son of a bitch promised me!"

Sam grabbed any thing she could get her hands on and threw them around the room. She was crying and screaming like a mad woman. She couldn't take the pain she was feeling. She couldn't take it anymore. She slid down to the ground and held a shard of glass in her hands. The door opened but she didn't notice. She was too enamored with the glass she was holding. "Samantha, what happened?" She looked up and saw Molly standing there looking around the room in shock. Her eyes settled on the younger woman. Her eyes widened when she saw her blood soaked hand and how she was holding onto a jagged piece of glass. "Put that down, Samantha."

She was breathing heavily. "I-I can't."

"W-Why can't you?"

"This is the solution to all of my problems, Molly. This will help end all of my problems."

She walked over to her with caution. "Sam, you don't need to do this. You don't have to end it this way." Sam ignored her and held the glass against her arm. "Sammy, don't do this!"

Sam's face was drenched with tears. "I have to. I can't go through this again."

"Just tell me what happened. I can help you through this."

She laughed. "No one can help me through this! This is the only way!"

Molly stared at her. She was afraid that if she looked away that she would do something stupid. "What happened? What changed?"

"Do you really want to know what happened?" She nodded quickly. "He happened! That son of a bitch I married happened!" Sam began to cry hysterically again. "He is what's wrong! If I do this then I won't have to feel anything anymore. I won't have to feel like this ever again."

Her eyes widened. "D-Do you want to talk to him?" She growled. "Do you want to talk to your mother?" Her chin trembled. "She is still here! I can go get her for you! She is still here!" She sighed. "I will go get her! Don't do anything while I go get her!"

She watched her as she walked to the door. "Molly?" Molly turned around. "Tell her I love her, ok?" Molly's eyes widened. "Just tell her I love her and that I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused her."

"Samantha, you can tell her all of that. Just don't move until I come back with her." She nodded slowly. "I will be right back." She ran out of the room.

Sam winced when she slid the glass across her arm. "I'm sorry, Mama." She whispered as she cut her arm again.

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Evelyn walked out of the counselor's office with a smile. She felt confident that her daughter would be well taken care of. Dr. Finklebot was just as good as Dr. Roberts and he would be a fine substitute while he was away. She was walking down the hall towards Sam's room and was surprised when she saw a frantic Molly running around. "Molly, are you alright?" 

Molly ran to her. "Evelyn, you have to come at once! Samantha-!"

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"There was glass everywhere when I went in there to check on her. The room was a mess and she was holding a piece of glass to her arm." Evelyn gasped. "She said something about her husband. She told me to tell you that she loves you and she's sorry for the trouble she has caused you. I think she has hurt herself. I saw blood and she was talking about not feeling anymore pain."

They started to run to her room. "We have to stop her! She can't do this!" Evelyn said. They burst through the door and saw Sam cutting her arm. Evelyn felt sick when she saw that her arms and nightgown were drenched in blood. "Samantha, stop that at once!" She yelled.

Sam froze. She looked at her mother and started to cry again. "I can't, Mama. This is the only way."

Evelyn crouched down in front of her daughter and eased the glass out of her hand. "What are you doing, Sammy?"

"Mama, it hurts. It hurts so much."

She sat down next to her. "We can fix this, Sammy. We'll get you cleaned up in no time."

Her chin trembled. "No, Mama, I'm not talking about the cuts on my arms and hand."

"What are you talking about then?"

Sam bit her lip. "I got another letter from Lily and Lilac." Evelyn nodded slowly. "Sirius…he broke another promise he made to me." She curled up in a ball and started to cry. Evelyn started to shake. She never saw her act this way before and it terrified her. She wrapped her arms around her and bit back her tears as her daughter cried into her chest. "I wish I never married him! I wish I never met him!" She held onto her mother tightly. Her cries were becoming unbearable. She pulled away and stared at her mother. "You can help me!" Her eyes widened. "You can help me, Mummy!"

"Yes, I can, Baby. Anything you need, Sammy."

"Take them away from me. Take him away from me."

"W-What? What are you talking about?"

She had a crazed look in her eye and Evelyn was scared. "Take my memories from me. Take the memories I have of him away. Make it so that I will never remember him."

She sighed. "I-I can't do that, Sammy."

"Why not?"

"Because they are your memories. You will forget everyone." She shrugged. "You will forget James."

"I don't care! I don't want to remember him either!"

Evelyn sighed again. "You will forget your friends. You will forget Lily and Remus." Sam sighed. "You will forget Daddy." Sam gave her a look. "And, you will forget me."

Sam held onto her. "I don't want to forget you, Mummy. You are the only one I have left besides Lily." She cradled her daughter in her arms. "You can still help me though."

Fear filled her chest. "H-How can I help you, sweetheart?"

She looked at her and smiled through her tears. "Kill me, Mummy."

"What did you say?"

"I don't want to deal with this pain anymore. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I want you to take my pain away for good. I want you to kill me." Evelyn stared at her in shock. "Do you have your wand with you?" She nodded slowly. "Take it out and kill me."

She couldn't believe her ears. "Sammy…no, I can't do that."

"Why?"

Evelyn started to cry. "I can't kill you. I couldn't live without you, Baby. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that." Sam cried into her chest. Evelyn held onto her for dear life. She waved Molly, who stood there in shocked silence, out of the room. "I love you, Sammy. You and James are my world. I can't live without either of you."

"So, you won't kill me?"

"No, I won't."

Sam sighed. "It doesn't matter anyway." Evelyn gave her a curious look. "I wish it was a year after I graduate."

She smiled. "Why is that? Is it because you will be away from everyone and be in Egypt breaking curses left and right?"

She gave her a sad smile. "No, that's not it. I want it to be a year after I graduate because that's when I die."

Evelyn paled. "W-What did you say?"

Sam's eyes started to roll back into her head. "I die…a year after I graduate…on my…nineteenth birthday."

She slumped against her and Evelyn gasped. "Sammy, wake up!" She started to smack her. "Please, wake up, Sammy!" She started to shake her. "Help! I need some help!" She yelled. "Someone, please, help us!"

Molly and a couple of healers stormed into the room. They grabbed Sam and placed her on the bed. Molly turned to Evelyn while the healers worked on her. "She fainted because of the loss of blood." She nodded quickly as she watched the healers mend her wounds. They cleaned up the blood and sighed before leaving. "She will be fine now, Evelyn. She needs to rest."

Evelyn opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a pecking noise. She groaned when she saw an owl. "The last thing she needs is more bad news." She looked at the envelope and sighed. "It's from Sirius." Molly gave her a curious look. "He is her husband."

"What are you going to do? Are you going to show it to her?"

She shrugged. "I should throw it away…but I won't. She needs to know what he has to say. I'll leave it on the table and she can decide to read it or not."

Molly nodded. "That is a good idea." Evelyn smiled slightly. "You should go home. Sam needs time to rest and be alone. You need some time as well."

"Thank you, Molly." She nodded. Evelyn walked over to her daughter and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Sammy. Please, remember that I will always be here for you and love you."

The women walked out of the room and Molly looked at her. "Are you going home?"

Evelyn shook her head. "No, not right now. I have to take care of something important before I go home."

She nodded again. "She will be fine, Evelyn. I will keep a close eye on her." Evelyn smiled and nodded. "I'll take care of her." Evelyn nodded again and hugged her before she left.


	62. Chapter 61: Bandages

Author's Note: I actually proof read this chapter. I probably missed a lot of mistakes but I hope you overlook them. The song used in this chapter is called "Swans" by Unkle Bob. Enjoy!

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Chapter 61: Bandages.

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Evelyn entered the office and smiled at Dumbledore. "Evelyn, it is good to see you again." His eyes widened when he saw her blood stained clothes and tear stained face. "What has happened?"

She sighed. "Samantha had a bad day."

Dumbledore offered her a seat and she sat down. "Is she alright?"

"She will be."

"What happened?"

Evelyn sighed again as she told him. His eyes widened again. "She will be ok."

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head slowly. "May I ask why you are here instead of with her?"

"I-I need to see my sons. I need to see James and Sirius."

"Are you going to tell them about her death?"

She shook her head again. "No, I'm not. Sam has to tell them, not me. I just need to see them." She looked at him. "Where are they?"

It took him a moment before he answered. "They just arrived." He said while looking at his watch. "They will be enjoying some free time before dinner."

"Will Lily and Lilac be around as well?" He nodded. "I need to see them as well." She looked at him. "Will you take me to them?" He nodded slowly. "Thank you, Albus."

They walked out of his office and he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Are you alright, Evelyn?" She nodded slowly. "Are you sure?"

Evelyn looked at him and sighed. "I've had a long day, Albus. There was an attack on a muggle family this morning, I…my daughter tried to kill herself, and she finally told me the day she is going to die. I don't know how I am right now. I'm just trying to make it through the day as quickly as possible."

He nodded in response and they continued on their journey. They walked towards the Great Hall and saw the boys. "James, I don't want anyone to know about what happened. I'm just going to act like my old self. When she comes back, I will talk to her. Hopefully, my letter cleared everything up." Sirius said.

James nodded. "I understand, Padfoot. I wouldn't want anyone to know about this either if I was you. Just act like your old self and no one will be the wiser."

Remus slapped Sirius on the back. "Don't worry, mate. I'm sure the letter helped your case."

"We will help you, Sirius." Peter said.

She looked at Dumbledore. "Do you see Lily and Lilac anywhere?"

Dumbledore looked around and smiled. "They are over there." She looked at where he pointed. "I will bring them to you." She nodded. He walked over to the girls and smiled when they looked at him. "Welcome back, ladies." They smiled. "Ms. Evans and Ms. Andrews, may I have a work with you in private?"

Their eyes widened and they nodded slowly. "I-Is everything alright, sir?" Lily asked.

He nodded and smiled. "Everything is just fine, Ms. Evans. You have a visitor."

Lilac's eyebrows furrowed together. "We have a visitor, sir?" He nodded. "Who?"

"Hello, girls."

They gasped in delight. "Mrs. Potter, what are you doing here?" Lilac asked.

"E-Evelyn, why is there blood on your dress?" Lily asked slowly.

Evelyn sighed. "That doesn't matter, Lily. I need to speak to you about Sammy."

"Is she alright?" They asked in unison.

She nodded slowly. "She will be fine. I need you two to do me a favor."

"What is it?" Lilac asked.

"I need you to…I love that you care so much about Sammy." They smiled. "She received your letters." They nodded. "She…uh…reacted badly to your second letter."

They gasped. "Is she alright? What happened?" They asked.

"She is fine. I just need you to promise me that when you write to her that you will only tell her good things. Please, don't send her anymore bad news."

"We…we were just looking out for her. She would do the same for us." Lilac muttered.

Evelyn smiled. "I know that, sweetheart. I appreciate that you are looking out for her. I'm glad that she has people who love and care for her like you do." They nodded slowly. "I need you to promise me that no matter what bad things happen that you won't tell her until she is…stable enough to hear it." They nodded. She sighed when she saw that they were about to cry. She hugged them tightly. They clung to her. "She will be fine, girls. Everything will be ok." She wiped their eyes and smiled. "Sammy will be ok and will be back to you soon."

"W-We're sorry, Mrs. Potter. W-We didn't know." Lilac mumbled.

"I know, sweetie. Don't worry, ok?" Their chins trembled as they nodded. "I have to talk to the boys now. If you or the other girls need anything, just let me know."

They nodded. "We will, Evelyn. Thank you."

The girls walked away while holding each other. "Lily, are you ok?' James asked as they walked past the boys. Lily looked at him and started to cry. Lilac pulled here away and walked towards their friends. "Lily?" He stared after her. He looked at his friends. "What was that all about?" They shrugged in response.

"James?"

The boys looked up and gasped. "M-Mum, what are you doing here?" James asked.

Evelyn sighed. "I need to speak with you." He nodded slowly and followed her. She stopped walking to look at Sirius. "I need to speak with you too, Sirius." He stood up and followed her to the corner. She stared at them. "There is something important we need to discuss. Samantha-"

Sirius' eyes widened. "Is she alright? Did something happen to her?" She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when he continued to talk. "Please, Mum, just tell me if my wife is ok."

She sighed again. "She will be fine, Sirius. She is resting now." He nodded slowly. "What happened on the train?"

They stared at her in surprise. "What do you mean?" James asked.

Evelyn looked down at her blood stained clothes. "She received a letter from the girls that made her rethink leaving you." Sirius gasped. "She received a second letter and she…she reacted badly." They gulped. "Now, I need to know the truth to help her. Tell me what happened." The boys shared a look and nodded. They sat down on the stairs and the boys told her everything that happened. She held her head in her hands and sighed when they were done. "Is that everything? Was that the truth?"

"Yes, that is everything." James mumbled.

"That's the truth." Sirius whispered.

"You've been having dreams about her?"

He nodded. "Yes, I have." He looked at her. "I-I didn't sleep with Sarah. I swear, we just kissed but we didn't have sex. I know that much." She nodded. "I-I thought she was Sam. If I was awake, I would have never even touched her."

She stood up. "I believe you, Sirius."

"D-Did she get my letter?" She looked at him. "I-I wrote her a letter to explain what happened. Did she get it?"

She shook her head. "It came after she…fainted. I put it on the table beside her bed." He sighed. "I heard about what you said to the nurses who were making fun of her." He looked at her. "I want to thank you for that. Sam was very touched by what you did."

"I love her. I would do anything to protect her."

She smiled. "I know that, Sirius."

James coughed. "Sam's going to be ok, right?"

"She will be fine, James." They nodded. "I told Lily and Lilac to tell her only good things when they write to her. I want you to do the same thing. Don't tell her any bad news until she is stable." They muttered an agreement. "Stand up, boys." They gave her an odd look before doing as they were told. "I should have done this before." They winced when she raised her arms but sighed in relief when she hugged them. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mum." James muttered.

Evelyn looked at Sirius. "I love you too, Sirius." He looked at her in surprise. "I love you so much. I couldn't imagine my life without either of you."

Sirius smiled. "I love you too, Mum."

She smiled and kissed their cheeks. "I needed to see you two. I needed to give you the embarrassing goodbye hugs in front of your friends that I normally give you." They laughed. She gasped when they took turns picking her up and spinning her around. "Well, you two are either very strong or I lost some weight."

James smirked. "We are very strong." He groaned when they smacked him. "I was only joking."

Evelyn rolled her eyes before hugging them and kissing their cheeks again. "Have a good term, boys. I'm going to miss you so much."

"Aw, getting hugs from Mummy?"

They looked over and glared at Lucius. "Shove off, Malfoy." The boys growled.

She smiled at the blonde haired boy who looked like he had a broomstick up his bum. "Are you Lucius Malfoy?" He eyed her closely and nodded. "Samantha told me about you." He smirked at the boys. "You attacked her, didn't you?" His eyes widened. "You tried to get her to sleep with you and she defended herself when you wouldn't take no for an answer."

James' eyes narrowed. "You did what to her?"

Sirius glared at him. "Yes, he did. I found Sam after she beat him up."

Evelyn glared at him. Lucius paled. "If you ever go near her again…if you go anywhere near any of my children, I will find you and hex you to oblivion. I will hex that little arrogant smirk off of your ugly face! Do you understand me, boy?" He nodded quickly and ran away. She laughed. "That felt good."

"That was brilliant, Mum." James said with a smile. He hugged her again. "I've got to go hex him." She nodded and smiled. "I'll miss you, Mummy." He whispered in her ear before going after Malfoy.

She smiled at Sirius. "I should go. Behave yourself, Sirius."

Sirius nodded. "I will, Mum." He grabbed her hand when she turned to leave. She stared at him. "What happened to her? Why is there blood on your clothes?" She opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her. "Please, don't lie to me. Tell me how she reacted when she read the second letter."

"You want to know the truth?" He nodded quickly. They sat down on the stairs again and she sighed. She told him the truth and his eyes watered. "Sirius, are you ok?"

He bit back his sobs. "S-She tried to kill herself because of what happened?" She nodded slowly. He started to cry and she held onto him. "I'm sorry, Mum. I never meant to hurt her."

"I know, Baby." She whispered. "Sammy will be ok. She realized her mistake." He held onto her tightly. "It's going to be ok, Baby."

"I don't want her to die." She sighed. "I promise I'll take care of her." She nodded. "Can I see her? Can I see her now?"

Evelyn shook her head. "No, you can't." He gave her a pleading look. "I'm sorry, Sirius. She isn't in the right frame of mind to see anyone. I promise I will give you daily updates on her, ok?" He nodded reluctantly. "I need you to promise me something before I go." He looked at her intently. "Promise me that you won't tell anyone about what she tried to do. You can't even tell the other boys."

He sighed. "I promise, Mum." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Mum."

She kissed his cheek again. "I love you too, Sirius."

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* * *

Evelyn entered the living room and listened for any noise. She took off her jacket and threw it on the couch. She walked into the kitchen and then into the hallway. She stopped at the wall that was in between the kitchen and the living room. She rested her forehead against the wall and sighed. She breathed in and out before she let out a tiny sob. Her cries grew and she started kicking and punching the wall. She was screaming and carrying on as she cried. Evelyn crouched down and kept her forehead against the wall. Her legs gave out and her knees hit the ground. She whimpered before she started crying hysterically again. She kept hitting the wall. 

Harold shook his head to get the snow out of his hair. He closed the back door and set his coat down on the back of the chair. He rubbed his hands together to get them warm. He filled the kettle with water and turned on the stove. He stopped moving when he heard a pounding noise and a woman crying. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he turned off the kettle. He walked into the hallway and stopped when he saw his wife kneeling on the floor, screaming and punching the wall. He ran to her and winced when she started hitting his chest. He started to shake her. "Evelyn, calm down!" He pulled away and gasped when he saw her blood covered dress. "What happened? Did someone hurt you?" She continued to cry. "Talk to me, Evelyn! Tell me who did this to you!"

"Sam…Sammy…" She sobbed.

His eyes widened. "Is she alright? Is she hurt?" She shook her head. "Tell me!"

Evelyn looked at him and her chin trembled. "Two years." She whispered. "Two fucking years, Harold!"

He stared at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? What's two years?"

She gasped for air. "We…we only have two years."

He shook his head. "I-I don't understand." She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his chest. He eased onto the floor and cradled her in his arms. "Baby, talk to me." He whispered in her ear. "Please, tell me what's going on."

Evelyn pulled away and he wiped her eyes. "Harold, our little girl…"

Harold nodded. "It's ok, Baby. Whatever it is, we can handle it." He held her and she told him about everything. He looked like he was in pain. "Sammy…she tried to kill herself?" She nodded as she let out another sob. "She is going to die in two years?" She nodded again. "No…no, I don't accept that!" She cried. "She can't die, Evelyn." His grip on her tightened. "She can't die!"

"Harold, what are we going to do?"

He just shook his head. He didn't know what to do or say. Usually, whatever crisis came up, he knew how to fix it but this, it was out of his league. "I-I don't know. I don't know, Evelyn." He started to cry. "We can't let her die. Why does it have to be her?"

She looked at him. "She told me that her death prevents Lily, James, and Sirius' deaths. How can we choose? How can we choose which child lives and dies?"

Harold groaned. "W-We can't." Her chin trembled. "We just can't let her die. There has to be another way!"

"I hate her for this." She muttered.

He stared at her in disgust. "How can you say that? She is our daughter! This is not her fault!"

Evelyn shook her head. "I don't hate or blame Sammy for this. I blame my mother! She made Sam into what she was! If she would have told me what would happen if I had a girl then I-"

"You would what?" She gasped and shook her head. "Tell me what you were going to say!" She looked away from him. His eyes widened and he growled. "You regret having her, don't you? Sam was right! You wished she was never born, don't you?"

She pulled away from him. She slapped him. "How can you say that to me?" She hissed. "How can you even think that?" She slapped him again and he winced. "I love Sammy with all my heart! She is my daughter for Merlin's sake! I can't imagine my life without her!"

"Then what did you mean?"

"I just meant that…" She sighed. "I just wish that…I wish Sammy was never a dream seer. I wish my mother was never one either. I wish she didn't see the things she sees with her dreams. I just wanted her to be normal. I want her to be a normal and healthy girl." She held onto the railing of the staircase and cried. "I don't want my little girl to die, Harold. I don't want her to be hospitalized. I don't want her to be sad anymore! I don't want her to be crazy!" She groaned. "I don't want her to die!"

Harold stood up and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I know, Baby." She turned around in his arms and held onto him tightly. "I don't want any of that for her either." He whispered. "I don't want her to die either."

Evelyn looked at him. "I'm scared, Harold. I'm scared of losing her…but if we don't then we lose James." He sighed in defeat. "We will lose James, Lily, and Sirius if she doesn't die." He sighed again. "I don't know what to do. How do I make it better? How can I make it alright? How do we let her go?"

"What did the boys say about this?"

"I didn't tell them. Sam has to be the one to tell them." He nodded slowly. "When I told Sirius about what she tried to do…"

"Y-You told him?"

She nodded. "He asked for the truth. He begged me for the truth." She bit her lip. "I couldn't lie to him, Harold."

He closed his eyes and held her. "How did he react?"

"He cried." He sighed. "He begged me to see her but I told him that he couldn't. She wouldn't…it would make her worse if she saw him now." She sighed. "I told him that I would give him daily updates on her. He seemed to be fine with it."

He shook his head. "You know he wasn't." She nodded. They sat down on the stairs and stared at the front door. "He should see her."

"Harold, she tried to kill herself because of him." He looked at her. She sighed. "I don't blame him for that. She snapped and lost it. He didn't hold the glass to her arm…and he didn't cut-" She took a deep breath to stop herself from crying. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish there was an answer to all of this. I wish there was a way…" She looked at him. "This may sound stupid but…"

Harold gave her a small smile. "But what?" She let out a tiny laugh and shook her head. "Come on, Baby. Tell me what you were going to say."

Evelyn blushed. "I wish my Daddy was here to make it all better for us. I wish my mother was her to help Sammy." He smiled and kissed her temple. She smiled at him. "I never thought that I'd still need my parents to help me."

He kissed her. "Somehow, it will all be ok." She gave him a sad look. "I don't know how but it will be." They hugged. "I love you, Evelyn. I'm sorry that I was such an ass when we took Sammy to St. Mungo's."

She smiled and kissed him. "I know, Harold. I love you too." He smiled. "I'm sorry I threw that shoe at your head."

He laughed. "It's ok. When you throw at shoe at my head, I know you still care."

Evelyn laughed and rolled her eyes. "You're sick!" He nodded and kissed her. "I love you."

Harold held her tightly. "I love you too." He sighed. "Can I see her, Evelyn?" She looked at him closely. "Can I see Sammy?"

She looked away from him and shook her head. "No, you can't, Harold."

"Why not?"

"I'm not trying to keep you from her. I swear that I'm not. I'm just going by what the healers and Molly said. They told me to come home and give her time to rest."

"I want to see my daughter, Evelyn. She needs me."

"She still thinks you don't want her." He sighed and shook his head. "She said that Lily and I were all she had left." He groaned. "I know that that's not true but she thinks it is. Harold, she needs time."

"She doesn't have time, Evelyn! You know how stubborn she can be!" She nodded slowly. "What if she doesn't forgive me before she…?"

Evelyn sighed. "See her tonight."

His head snapped up. "What?"

She held his face in her hands and kissed him. "Do you want to see Sammy?" He nodded quickly. "Go see her tonight when she is asleep. They won't turn you away. I made it clear that all immediate family had the right to see her at anytime. Molly helped with that. Go see her and…"

"And what?"

"And, take Sirius with you."

"B-But you just said…"

Evelyn sighed. "I know what I said. She won't know if you go when she is asleep. If you go when she is asleep then she won't know that you two are there." He stared at her in confusion. "You need to see for yourself that your daughter is ok." He nodded. "Sirius needs to know that his girl-" She laughed. "He needs to see for himself that his _wife_ is ok."

Harold kissed her and smiled. "Thank you, Evelyn."

"I don't forgive him for hurting her the way he did but he doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark about her status."

He eyed her closely. "Are you sure about this? Are you sure about letting him see her? I can go by myself and we can just tell him that she is fine."

She shook her head. "No, that's not fair to him." He nodded. "I still love him like a son and I hate it when any of my children are in pain. He needs to see her with his own two eyes."

"I understand, Evelyn." She smiled. "When should we go?"

"I'm not going with you."

"Why not?"

She sighed. "I-I need some time away from that place. I-I need some time…"

Harold held her when she started to cry again. "It's ok, Baby. You take the time you need, ok?" She nodded. He kissed her forehead. "It's going to be ok."

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_By my side  
You'll never be  
By my side  
You'll never be_

_Cause I'm fake at the seams  
I'm lost in my dreams  
And I  
I want you to know that I can't let you go  
And you're never coming home again  
And you're never coming home again_

Sirius sat on the window seat in his room and sighed. Horrible visions of different scenarios of how she tried to hurt herself plagued his mind. He shook his head to try and clear his mind but nothing seemed to work. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He knew how she tried to do it.

_By my side  
You'll never be  
By my side  
You'll never be  
You'll never be_

He kept his promise to his mum. When Lily and Lilac walked up to him reluctantly and asked what Sam did and why Evelyn was covered in blood, he told them about the attack on the muggle family and Evelyn had to deal with it which explained the blood on her clothes. He told them that Sam had a screaming fit and fainted. They sighed in relief and thanked him for the truth before giving him dirty looks and walking away. He told the same thing to James when he asked after coming back from hexing Malfoy. His reaction to the news made Sirius sad. James didn't bat an eye and muttered something about a "spoiled brat".

_I wanted to tell you what changed  
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time  
I see you  
You see me  
Different  
I see you  
You see me  
Differently _

Sirius stared at the night sky and looked at the stars. He smiled when he imagined Sam sitting on the window seat in her hospital room staring at the stars and thinking of him like he was thinking of her. He felt comforted by that thought.

_You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again  
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again_

He rested his head against the window and sighed. He placed his palm against the cool glass of the window and envisioned her doing the same thing. The door opened and he sighed. He loved that his friends wanted to support him but he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to be alone with thoughts and day dreams of his wife. Footsteps drew closer to him but he still refused to look away from the window. "Sirius?"

Sirius tore his eyes away from the window and stared up in surprise. "W-What are you doing here?"

Harold sat down next to him. "Dumbledore let me see you." He nodded slowly. "I explained the situation with Sammy and he agreed to let me talk to you. He is worried about you."

"Why?"

He smiled. "Dumbledore told me how quiet and withdrawn you were once Evelyn left. He wanted to make sure that you were ok."

"Why didn't he just ask me himself instead of getting you to come here?"

Harold stared at him closely. He wasn't surprised by the anger in his voice. "Sirius, he didn't send for me." He shrugged in response. "I've come to get you."

His eyes widened. "Y-You've come to get me?" He nodded. "I-I'm being thrown out of school for being sad?" He shook his head. "That's fucking ridiculous! Merlin forbid if someone is upset at this place!" Harold hid his smile. "Watch out, kids! If you frown for longer than a minute, you'll be sent home!"

He laughed. "Sirius, calm down! You aren't being thrown out!"

Sirius looked at him in confusion. "I'm not?" He nodded. "I don't understand."

"Evelyn sent me here to get you. She decided that we need to see Sammy. Dumbledore agrees with her. I've come here to get you so that we can go see her."

He blinked. "Are you lying to me?" He shook his head. He smiled slowly. "I can see her? I can really see her?"

Harold smiled. "Yes, you can." The smile on Sirius' face made Harold's smile grow. "Let's go."

Sirius stood up but stopped moving. "Dad, she won't want to see me."

He sighed. "She will be asleep. That's the only reason why Evelyn is letting us go."

He nodded. "Now, I get it. Sam doesn't want to see me, does she?" Harold sighed and shook his head. "So, why should I go?"

"Sirius, you have to see her! You need to see her!" He shook his head. "Sirius, will it make you feel better to see her?" He nodded slowly. "Then come with me. We both need to see her for ourselves to make sure she is ok. Will you come?"

Sirius sighed and nodded. "I'll come with you." Harold smiled. "I'll meet you downstairs. I have to put on a shirt."

"That's fine. I'll see you downstairs."

He walked over to his trunk and pulled out a t-shirt and grabbed a sweatshirt. He smiled. "I'm coming, Sammy."

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They walked side by side down the hallways. Sirius glared when he saw the same two nurses sitting in the corner, talking. They saw him and stopped talking at once. They gulped when they saw the look on his face. "Good evening, Mr. Black." Mildred muttered. 

He rolled his eyes. "What were you two talking about?"

"W-We weren't talking about anything, sir." Vanessa stuttered.

Harold let out a tiny laugh. "Let's go, Sirius. Sam is waiting for us." They walked and stopped in front of her door. "Do you want to go in first or should I?"

"You can go in first. I'll wait out here."

He nodded and walked into the room. He saw her sleeping soundly and he smiled. He sat down on the side of the bed and watched her. He kissed her forehead and sighed. He started to get choked up when he saw her blood stained nightgown and the bandages on her arms and hand. She was in restraints but that didn't stop him from hugging her and crying into her neck. "Sammy, what did you do?" He muttered. His cries grew loud. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I never meant to hit you. I-I never meant what I said." He stared at her sleeping face. "I love you, Sammy. I love you so much. I'm proud to have you as my daughter." He kissed her cheek. "Please, don't die, Sammy. I couldn't bear to lose you."

Sam stirred and he smiled slightly. "Daddy?"

He froze. He took a deep breath. "Sammy?"

She turned her head and sighed. "Daddy, what are you doing here? What's going on?"

Harold bit back a sob when he heard her small and tired voice. "I had to see you, Baby."

Sam yawned and opened her eyes slightly. "Did you hear me yelling? Did I wake you up?"

His chin trembled. "Were you yelling?" She nodded. "Are you ok? Why were you yelling?"

She pouted. "The snake monster under my bed tried to hurt me again. He scared me, Daddy."

He smiled at her. "What did that mean old monster do to my baby girl?" She shrugged. "Do you want Daddy to check under your bed and scare the monster away?" She gave him a small smile and nodded. He stood up and looked under the bed. He pretended to fight a big snake and growled. "You better leave my little angel alone! I'll hex you all the way to a muggle shoe factory if you don't leave!" He stood up and dusted off his pants. He sat down and smiled at her. "He is gone for good this time."

Sam laughed. "Daddy, you are so weird." He laughed. "Can you give me a hug?"

Harold wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. "You can always get a hug from me, sweetheart. You never have to worry about that."

She smiled. "Thank you for protecting me, Daddy."

He kissed her forehead. "I will always protect you, Sammy."

"I love you, Daddy."

Harold bit back a sob. "Do you mean that, sweetheart? You don't hate me anymore?"

Sam gave him a curious smile. "Of course I love you, Daddy. I could never hate you." He smiled. "You are the only one that knows how to get rid of the monster from under my bed."

He laughed. "I'd do anything for my little girl." Her smile grew. "Why don't you go back to sleep?" She nodded and closed her eyes. "I love you, Sammy."

She smiled when he kissed her cheek and hugged her. "I love you too, Daddy."

Harold watched her as she fell back to sleep. He caressed her cheek and sighed. "Try and have good dreams tonight, Sammy." He kissed her forehead before standing up and walking to the door. He looked out into the hall and saw Sirius leaning against the wall while looking up at the ceiling. "Sirius?"

Sirius looked at him. "Are you ok, Dad?"

He wiped his eyes and nodded. "I'll be fine." He stared at him closely. "Do you want to see her now?" He sighed and nodded. "She was a little out of it but I'm sure it will fine if you saw her while she slept."

He sighed again and pushed away from the wall. "I don't see the point but ok."

Harold stepped out into the hall and stopped him. "What did you say?" Sirius shrugged in response. "No, you better explain yourself right now, young man." He looked at the ground. Harold closed the door behind him and glared at the younger man. "What the hell is your problem? Sirius, your wife is in the hospital-"

"Because she chose to leave me and come here! She left without telling me! She didn't even give me a chance to explain!"

He growled before smacking him upside the head. "That's enough!" Sirius sneered at him while rubbing the back of his head. "You…how can you claim to love her if you don't even care that she tried to kill herself over you?" He grunted.

He paled. "You honestly believe that I don't care about that?"

"What am I supposed to believe?"

"You are supposed to believe me! Dad, I love her. I do care that my wife of what?" He took a deep breath. "I do care that my wife of three days tried to kill herself over a letter her friends wrote to her about me! It was a stupid misunderstanding that almost cost her her life!" His eyes watered as he bit his lip. "When Mum told me about what she did…I thought…I was so close…" He started to cry. "I can't be without her, Dad. I love her so much and I almost lost her for good."

He pulled him into a tight hug. Sirius held onto him for dear life. "Then what's with all the attitude?"

Sirius pulled away and looked at him. "I'm scared to see her, Dad."

"Why?"

"Sammy…she is the only one I've ever been in love with. I've had countless girlfriends but none of them have made me feel even an ounce of what I feel for her. If she succeeded…if no one found her in time…if Mum wasn't here…she could have died and I would have lost everything. She is everything to me. I-I couldn't take it if she died, Dad." Harold had to look away from him. "I'm scared that if I see her…I'm scared that if I walk through that door, she won't be there. I'm afraid that I've gone crazy and I'm just pretending she is alive just so I won't kill myself too."

He held him tighter. "Sirius, she is alive. You aren't crazy. I understand why you are scared. I was scared to see her too but I realized that she needed to see me just as much as I needed to see her." Sirius tightened his hold on him. "Sirius, she is your wife. You need to see her."

"I-I can't."

Harold grabbed him by the shoulders and stared at him. "Yes, you can! Marriage is hard work. Believe me, I know it is. There will be good times and hard times. This is a hard time. You have to be there for her because she needs you the most. I'm just her father and I can only do so much but you are her husband. She needs your strength."

He looked at him. "I-I'm not strong enough for this, Dad." Harold shook his head. "I'm not scared of anything but when it comes to this, I'm completely terrified. I don't know how to do this! I don't know how to be a husband! I'm only seventeen! I don't know how to be a strong husband! I didn't even know how to be a decent boyfriend to her!"

He smiled. "You don't know how to be a strong husband automatically, Sirius. I'm still learning." Sirius smiled. "You can do this, Sirius. I know you can. You are a strong man. I believe in you, Sirius. Sam, usually, believes in you." He let out a tiny laugh. "She is mad as hell at you but she still needs you. She is going through a tough time and needs her husband by her side no matter what she says." Sirius nodded. "Will you go in and see her now?"

Sirius nodded. "I will." Harold smiled. "Will you come in with me?"

Harold laughed. "Yes, I will."

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* * *

Sirius walked into the room slowly but kept looking back to make sure that Harold was still there with him. Harold smiled encouragingly at him. "Don't worry. I'm still here." He nodded but stayed where he was. He smiled at his son and gave him a little push in the right direction. "Go on, Sirius. I'll just be in the corner, ok?" 

He nodded and took small steps towards the bed. Harold snuck into the corner by the door. Sirius eased down on the bed and looked around the room. "Dad, are you still here?" He whispered.

"I'm still here." Harold stuck out his hand and waved. Sirius smiled. "Talk to her, Sirius."

Sirius looked down at her peaceful face and sighed. He touched the bandages on her arms gingerly. He placed his hand on her stomach right over the blood stain. He replaced his hand with his forehead. "Why did you do this, Sammy?" He whispered. "You didn't have to do this. I could have…I can explain. You didn't have to try this." He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her stomach. "Don't…I can't lose you, Sammy. I can't lose you like this." She started to move around. He rested his chin on her stomach and looked at her. "Sammy, are you…can you hear me?"

Sam's eyes opened. "Sirius?" He nodded. She smiled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Why are you hugging me?"

He smiled. "Since when do I need a reason to hug you?"

"I'm not shagging you tonight."

His eyes widened and he blushed. He could have sworn he heard his Dad laugh. "I'm not hugging you because of that." Her eyebrow rose. "I'm being honest!"

She tried to move her arms and legs but she couldn't. She looked around and her eyes widened when she saw the restraints. She fought against them and he sat up. "W-What's going on?" Her breath quickened. "Sirius, what's going on? Why am I tied up?" He stared at her in surprise. She was starting to freak out. She looked at him wide eyes. "What happened? W-Was I bad?"

Sirius gulped. "N-No, you weren't." He untied all of the restraints and sat back down. "It's ok now. You are free, ok?" She nodded slowly and sighed. He smiled at her. "Are you ok?"

She sat up slowly. "I-I'm ok, I guess." He sat Indian style at the foot of the bed. "How are you?" He looked down at the bed and shrugged. She eyed him closely. "Are you ok?"

He looked at her. "I missed you." She smiled. "Did you miss me?"

She nodded. "I did." She pushed the covers off of her and moved to sit right in front of him. She looked down at her nightgown and gasped. "There is…" He had a pained look on his face. "I made a mistake, didn't I?" He nodded. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

Their fingers entwined. "You realized that you made a mistake, right?" She nodded. "Then don't do it again and it will be ok." He pulled her closer to him and she sat on his lap. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and rested her forehead in the crook of his neck. "It's going to be ok."

"How do you know that?" She mumbled.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know." She sighed. "I brought something for you."

Sam pulled back and gave him a curious smile. "Y-You brought me something?" He smiled and nodded. She bounced up and down. "What is it?"

He groaned. "Baby, you better stop bouncing on my lap." She stopped moving and looked at him in question. He blushed. "Unless you want to shag, you better stop." She giggled and nodded. His blush grew when he heard a stifled groan come from the door. "Do you want the present?" She nodded eagerly. He pulled off his sweatshirt and smiled when he saw the look on her face. "What is it?"

Sam cocked her head to the side. "You are wearing two shirts?" He nodded slowly. "You never wear a shirt to bed."

Sirius smiled. "You are always telling me that I should so I decided to start."

"I was wrong. I like it better when you don't wear one."

He smirked. "Do you now?" His eyes widened when he heard another groan. He took off his shirt and handed it to her. She smiled in delight. "Do you like it?"

She nodded. "I love it!" He smiled. "This is the shirt you gave me, isn't it?" He nodded. "Where was it?"

"You left it in your room. I thought you might want it so I brought it here for you." She started to lift up her nightgown and his eyes widened. He stopped her. "W-What are you doing?"

Sam looked at him like he was crazy. "I'm going to change into your shirt. Is that a problem?" He shook his head. "You are acting very odd. Normally, you encourage watching me change."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I-I know that…" He hugged her tightly and looked toward the door where Harold was standing. "Close your eyes." He whispered.

Harold nodded eagerly and closed his eyes. "Why do I have to close my eyes?" Sam asked.

Sirius looked at her. "You don't have to. I was just joking around."

She gave him an odd look. "Ok, whatever you say." He smiled. "Do you want to help me?"

He smiled. "Of course…" He heard another groan. "Let's get you changed!"

She lifted up her nightgown and kissed him. "Hurry it up, Sirius!" Harold grunted when he heard Sirius gasp in delight.

Sam's eyes widened and she covered herself. "Did you hear that?"

He gulped. "I-I didn't hear anything." He handed her his shirt. "Let's get you dressed!"

"Are you sure that you didn't hear anything? I could have sworn-"

He cut her off with a kiss. "I'm sure, Baby. Put the shirt on."

She slipped the shirt on and smiled. "That's much better."

Sirius sighed in disappointment and relief. She rested her forehead in the crook of his neck again and sighed. He closed his eyes and held her. She stared at her bandages before pulling away and looking at him. He stared at her with concern. "What is it?" She opened her mouth to speak but let out a sob. He held her face in his hands and his thumbs wiped away her tears. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I-I left you." She whispered.

His eyes widened. "W-What?"

Sam looked away from him. "I left you and came here." His chin trembled. She raised her bandaged arms and looked him in the eye. "I did this." He nodded slowly. "I almost left you for good." She cried into his chest. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I-I'm so sorry, Sirius."

Sirius started to cry and tightened his hold on her. "It's ok, Sammy. It's going to be ok."

She cried into his chest. He held onto her tightly. "I left you…I…tried to…why did I try to do that?" She whispered.

He pulled her closer to him and her legs tightened around him. "I…you heard that I broke an important promise I made to you."

"Did you?"

"N-No, not really." She looked at him and he sighed. "It was a misunderstanding. That's all it was."

Sam nodded slowly. She rested her head on his shoulder and tightened her arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Sirius." He shushed her and kissed her forehead. "I…I…" She sighed and took in his scent. "I'm scared."

"What…what are you scared of?"

She shrugged. "I-I don't know. I'm just scared, Sirius."

Sirius tightened his arms around her and cried softly. "I-I'm scared too, Sammy."

They held each other in silence. Their arms and legs were entwined tightly and they didn't seem to be letting go anytime soon. "I love you forever, Sirius."

His chin trembled. "I love you forever, Sammy." Harold closed his eyes and placed a hand over his heart and sighed.

Sam moved around to rest her forehead against his. Their eyes were full of tears and she gave him a small smile. "Kiss me."

"Ok." He whispered. They smiled before leaning in and kissed softly. They smiled. "Sammy?"

"Yes?"

"Kiss me."

"Ok." She whispered.

They leaned in and their lips touched. Their finger tips touched their faces gingerly and they sighed when they pulled away. They continued to touch each other's faces while they rested their foreheads against each other. They closed their eyes and tears fell down their cheeks. The room was silent as they held each other. Harold watched them while they held one another. He said a secret prayer in his head to let them find a way back to one another for good. He wished that they would find their happiness together soon. He hoped against hope that they could get past this rough patch and be together finally.

Sam opened her eyes. "Sirius?"

He caressed her cheek. "Yes?"

She looked at him with pleading eyes. "Will you stay with me?"

Sirius stared at her. "Yes, I will."

"Will you stay with me the whole night?" He nodded. "You won't leave when I fall asleep, will you?"

He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I will stay the night if that's what you want." She nodded. "I will stay with you forever if you let me."

She smiled and gave him a light kiss on the lips. "I would like it very much if you spent the whole night with me." He nodded. "I would like it very much if you stayed with me forever, Sirius." He smiled in disbelief. "I would love it actually."

He kissed her. "You have to promise me two things first."

"What are they?"

He sighed. "I wrote you a letter and I need you to read it."

"Do you want me to read it right now?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't. I want you to read it when you wake up. I-I want you to read it after I leave." She nodded. "I also want you to promise that when we lay down…I want you to hold onto me as tight as you can." She smiled. "Hold onto me like you never want to let me go."

She smiled. "I promise I will, Sirius. I promise I will."

They laid down and faced each other. He held out his arms and she smiled. They held onto each other as tight as they possibly could. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "Hold onto me as tight as you can, Baby."

Sam tightened her hold on him and sighed in content. "Sirius?" He looked down at her with a smile. "Will you say that thing you say and call me that name that I like?"

He gave her a curious smile. "What are you talking about?" She gave him a meaning full look and he laughed. "Oh! That thing I say and that name I call you." She giggled. He caressed her cheek and kissed her. "I love you, Mrs. Black."

His heart swelled when he saw that she was practically glowing. She kissed him back. "I love you too, Mr. Black."

"Close you eyes, Sammy." He whispered.

"I can't." She looked at him. "I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"If I close my eyes, you will be gone. I just want to be with you, Sirius. If I close my eyes, I won't be with you."

"That's not true."

She looked at him in disbelief. "It's not?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not." He smiled. "Do you dream about me, Sammy?" She smiled and nodded. "I dream about you too." Her smile grew. "Even if we close our eyes, we will still be together. We will be together in our dreams."

Sam kissed him. "I love you." She whispered before closing her eyes.

Sirius held her closer. "I love you too." She smiled. "Sammy?"

"Yes?"

Sirius kissed her. "I think…I think I'd miss you even if we never met." Her eyes opened and she smiled. "You are my heart, Samantha."

"And, you are mine, Sirius." They smiled at each other before closing their eyes and going to sleep.

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Harold was sitting in the chair and watched them sleep. They were holding onto each other for the past hour and he smiled. He wasn't surprised by how much they loved each other. He always knew that they loved each other deeply. He was surprised by their tenderness. He knew he shouldn't have been but he was. Evelyn and him were the same way with one another throughout their entire relationship even before they started going out. 

He smiled when he thought of how they were acting with each other just an hour before. They knew what the other needed and they knew what they needed to hear. They needed each other. That was all they needed to be happy. That's all they needed to feel connected. Just one touch, just one kiss, and they knew they belonged somewhere. They knew they belonged to someone.

He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "Let them find a way past this. Let them just be together. Let them be." He whispered.

Harold sighed again when he looked at his watch. He promised Dumbledore that he would have Sirius back by then. He didn't want to wake him but he knew he had to. He also promised Evelyn that they wouldn't stay too long. He stood up and went over to the bed. He shook him awake and smiled when he turned his head to look at him. "It's time to go, Sirius."

Sirius shook his head. "I don't want to. I don't want to go back." He turned back to Sam. "I don't want to go…I don't want to leave her."

He smiled sadly. "I know, son. I know…but you have to." Sirius looked at him pleadingly. "She will be back to you soon enough." He shook his head. "Sirius, she needs to get better so she can come back. You understand that, don't you?"

He sighed and nodded. "I-I understand, Dad." He looked at his sleeping wife and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered. "I have to go now but I promise will be dreaming of you." Harold closed his eyes. "I'll be seeing you, Sammy." He kissed her again.

They walked out of the room and Harold stopped him. "Sirius?"

Sirius turned to him. "Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

Harold eyed him closely. "Why aren't you happier?" He raised his eyebrow in question. "She told you she was sorry for everything. She said she loved and missed you. Why aren't you happier?"

"Dad-"

"Answer me!"

He growled. "Because it wasn't real!"

His eyes widened. "W-What?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "When you came to get me, you said she was out of it." He nodded slowly. "She was still out of it when I was with her…just like before."

"I don't understand."

He looked at him with sad eyes. "She thought…she was just dreaming. She didn't know I was there. If she was awake, she would have thrown us out in a heartbeat."

Harold shook his head in disbelief. "How do you know that?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "I know my wife, Dad." He sighed. "It doesn't matter what you heard her say because it wasn't real. It was just a dream to her."

He looked after him as he walked away. "Sirius-"

Sirius looked back at him. "I'm fine, Dad. I will be fine." He looked down at the ground. "It was just a dream." Harold hugged him when he started to cry.


	63. Chapter 62: Finklebot’s Theory On The Im

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. This chapter is kind of boring. I did my best to proof it but whatever. Mistakes happen. I'm getting sleepy. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 62: Finklebot's Theory On The Importance Of Eggs

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Sam woke up and jumped when she saw Molly sitting on her bed, watching her. Molly smiled at her. "Good morning, Sleepy head."

She smiled in confusion. "Good morning, Molly." She smiled in response. "What's going on?"

She shook her head. "Nothing is going on, dear." She looked down at her shirt and looked at it oddly. "How are you feeling today?"

She blushed. "I'm feeling…foolish." She nodded. "I'm sorry, Molly. I'm sorry for scaring you."

Molly hugged her. "I know you are, dear." Sam smiled. "Just don't you dare do that again."

"I promise I won't." She looked at the older woman closely. "Molly, why were you watching me sleep?"

She sighed. "I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright." She nodded. "Samantha, what happened to your restraints?"

Sam shrugged. "I have no idea. Did they…didn't they tie me up?"

"Yes, they did."

She shrugged again. "Maybe they just didn't tie them tight enough."

Molly gave her a close stare. "Where…where did you get that shirt?"

Sam looked down and gasped when she saw the all too familiar shirt. "D-Didn't they…?" Molly shook her head. She paled. "W-Was _he_ here?" She looked at her oddly. "Was…was my husband here?"

"I don't know, Samantha. I can check for you if you want."

She shook her head. "No, I don't. Thank you for offering though." Molly nodded. She stretched and sat up. She looked around the room but her eyes soon stopped moving and settled on an envelope with her name on it resting on the side table. "What's that?"

Molly looked at the table and sighed. "It came after you…uh…fainted."

"Do you know who it's from?"

She looked down at the bed. "It's from him." Sam looked at her curiously. She sighed again. "It's from your husband, Sam."

Sam stared at the letter like it was going to bite her. "Oh…he sent a letter…did he?"

"Yes, he did." She smiled. "Are you going to read it?"

She started to shake her head but stopped. Something inside her told her that she had to read it. She had to know what he had to say. "No…not right now. Maybe I will after my session." Molly nodded. "When is my session?"

"It's in a few minutes. I'll leave you to get dressed. I will come back to escort you to Dr. Finklebot's office." Sam nodded. Molly turned back to face her and smiled. "Samantha?" She looked up and smiled. "If I were you, I'd read his letter. It helps to know the whole story." Sam nodded and smiled. "You better get ready." She left.

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Dr. Finklebot was a balding, graying, and pale man. He adjusted his wire rimmed glasses and stared at the younger girl. Sam stared at him closely. He was a stiff sort of man. His tie and shirt were stiff. He shifted around in his chair like he had a big pole up his bum. He looked at her folder and sighed. "Mrs. Black-" 

"Call me Sam."

He nodded. "Sam, I read in your file that you tried to kill yourself last night." She shrugged and nodded. "Would you like to talk about that?"

"No…not really."

"Is there any reason that you don't wish to discuss this?"

Sam shrugged again. "If I talk about that then I would have to talk about my husband and I don't want to talk about him." He eyed her closely. "Aren't we supposed to be talking about the attack that landed me here?"

"We can discuss anything you want."

She nodded. "That's good to know." He waited for her to continue. "Severus-"

"Is that your husband?"

Her face scrunched up in disgust. "Merlin…no!" He smiled in amusement. "He's…he was…I thought he was my friend but I was wrong."

He looked at her oddly. "What do you mean by that?"

She told him about their odd relationship and his eyes widened. "When Remus-"

"Is Remus your husband?"

She laughed. "No, he isn't. It would be so much easier if he was."

Dr. Finklebot shook his head. "Who is Remus? Who is your husband?"

"Remus is my friend and my ex-boyfriend. Sirius is my husband."

He nodded. "Ok…please, continue with your story." Sam told him all about how Remus found her in her disillusioned state and how they reconnected. She told him of the events leading up to the attack and the attack itself. "Now, who is Michael?"

Sam smiled. "He is one of my best friends. I went out with him briefly last year."

"Are you friends with all of your ex-boyfriends?"

"Now, I am. I just reconnected with my first boyfriend Patrick."

He rubbed his eyes. "This is very complicated." She laughed. "It would be best if you started from the beginning." She nodded and started from the beginning. He listened to her story intently. She sighed when she was done. He eyed her closely. He saw how difficult it was for her to speak of her husband and of their very interesting and complicated relationship. He sighed. "From what you told me, I can see what your problem is."

She looked up in surprise. "Can you?" He nodded. "Well, what is it then?"

Dr. Finklebot smiled at her. "You have dealt with the attack. Your nightmares have seemed to fade. Yes, you get them still but mostly, they are over with." She nodded slowly. "The problem, the biggest problem, you are having is that you are suffering from a broken heart."

"W-What?"

"Your husband…this Sirius fellow has hurt you. Sirius…you trusted him and he has broken this trust." She nodded. "The only thing you have yet to get over…is Sirius."

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"You have to get over Sirius."

She looked at him oddly. "How do I do that?"

"Now, it's my turn to ask. What do you mean?"

Sam laughed lightly. "Ok, here is what I mean. I've been in love with Sirius since I was ten." He nodded. "Throughout all the drama and pain, I've loved him. Hell, I married the moron!" He smiled. "I have tried to get over him for the past…million years that I've known him." He nodded slowly. She sighed. "How do you think I can get over him after all of the times I've tried?"

Dr. Finklebot smiled. "That is a very good question." She smiled. "There is a simple answer to that." She looked up with interest. "You haven't really tried to get over him."

"That's not-"

"Samantha, in your first year after he told you that he didn't have any romantic feelings for you, how did you try to get over him then?"

She opened her mouth but closed it quickly. She was silent for a moment before shaking her head. "I-I don't know. I guess I didn't try that time."

He smiled. "That's right. You didn't!" She looked at him like he was crazy when he sounded too excited. He coughed. "Sorry about that." She nodded slowly. "When you were with…uh…Remus, were you over Sirius?"

She sighed in defeat. "No, I wasn't." He looked excited in an odd way. Her eyes grew wide. "Wait! I really did and still do love Siri-" She groaned. "I meant Remus!" He laughed. "Dr. Finklebot, you have to understand. I…still had feelings for that git I married when I was with Remus but when I was with Remus, I was beyond faithful. I had plenty of offers to cheat on him, once, even from Sirius, but I never did it because I loved him so much. He was all I wanted and I didn't want to ruin that."

"I understand that, Samantha. I really do. You have a great sense of loyalty. That much is obvious." She shrugged. "When Sirius broke up with you at the beginning of term, how did you try and get over him?" She shrugged. "You didn't try, that's how."

Sam shook her head. "That's not true! I did try!"

He smirked. "How did you try?"

She bit her lip and took a moment to think about it. "I cut him out of my life."

"Obviously, that failed."

She glared at him. "What do you want me to say? He is in every aspect of my life!" She sighed. "He is in the same house at school with me, he is my former brother's best friend, and my parents have practically adopted him! My friends and his friends are friends or dating." She gripped the arms of her chair tightly and leaned forward. "There is _no_ escaping him! I tried to! I really did try!"

He stared at her in surprise. "How did you try?"

"I'll admit that I didn't handle the break up well." He nodded. "At first, I followed him around and begged him to come back to me." He sighed. "After the millionth time of him calling me weak and pushing me away, I gave up. I stopped following him around and I stopped begging him to come back." She eased back into her chair and let go of the arms of the chair. "I stopped talking to him, I acted like a real bitch, and I called Lily, my best friend, a mudblood." His eyes widened. "I did everything I could to avoid him. I started hanging out with his sworn enemy just to get away from him. Nothing seemed to work. He was always around and he wouldn't leave me alone." She let out a bitter laugh. "He threw me away like yesterday's trash, he took the love I had for him for granted, he told me to get on with my life, but he kept coming after me. He threw his relationship with that slut in my face…but when he saw me kiss Severus for the fist time, he, literally, dragged me away from him and kissed me."

Dr. Finklebot stared at him clipboard. "You didn't try to get over him."

"What?"

He looked at her closely. "You said it yourself, Sam. You went to his sworn enemy just to get away from him." He smiled at her. "That just doesn't make any sense."

She groaned. "I hate to admit this but you are right." He laughed. "Dr. Finklebot, how do I do this?"

"Let me ask you a question first." She nodded. "Do you enjoy being promiscuous?"

Her eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Do you enjoy being promiscuous?"

Her eyes narrowed into thin slits. "What the hell do you mean by that?" He looked at her with a smile. "I've slept with only two men my entire life!" He shrugged. "Where do you get off-?"

He held up his hands to stop her from talking. "Ok, I see your point. I should rephrase the question." She glared at him. "Do you enjoy going from boy to boy?"

"What?"

"What's the longest time that you've been single?" She opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her. "And, the first twelve years of your life don't count."

Sam sneered at him. "Well, when Patrick and I broke up…" Her face fell. "Ok, that doesn't count." He smiled. "Remus and I broke up, for the first time, at the beginning of my fourth year and we got back together at the Christmas ball so, I was completely single for two months." He nodded. "When we broke up for the second time, I was single until the end of June so, that's six months."

"That doesn't count."

"Why?"

"You went out with Chris and Michael. You started going out with them in March. You broke up with Michael in April but stayed with Chris until the middle of June."

Sam sighed. "Does that really count? They were just rebounds!"

Dr. Finklebot smiled. "Yes, it does count. It doesn't matter if they were rebounds. You still weren't single. Try again."

She groaned as she rubbed her eyes. "When Sirius and I first broke up…I was single for a few hours." He laughed. "I was single for three months after we broke up the second time."

"That doesn't count either." She groaned in frustration. "You said it yourself, kiddo. You went straight to Severus and to Remus before marrying Sirius." She groaned again. "So, in the three…almost four years that you've been dating, you have been single for a total of two months."

"Ok, what was the whole point of the question exactly?"

He smiled. "You want to know why you are so confused and keep going back and forth between these boys, don't you?" She shrugged. "Those boys confuse you. You may love them, and that's nice, but you need to love yourself first and foremost."

"What the hell are you talking about? I love myself just fine!"

"Do you now?"

"Yes, I do!" He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "What? How can you possibly think that I don't love myself?"

"Do you really want to know what I think, Sam?"

"Yes, I do! Explain yourself!"

He sighed. "You asked for it." She waited for him to continue. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "I don't understand how such a beautiful, smart, sweet, and loyal girl can hate herself so much."

"I don't hate-"

"Don't talk until I am finished." She looked at him incredulously. "You do hate yourself, Sam! How can someone claim to love themselves beg others to love them?"

"What do you mean?"

"You begged Sirius to love you. Remus cheated on you but you didn't do anything. You constantly beg for approval from those two when they should be begging you." She glared at the floor. "Remus said horrible things to you when he thought you cheated on him and even though you gave him the cold shoulder, you still did nothing to make him pay. When he cheated on you, you still remained silent. Sirius…the way he broke up with you and you still begged him to love you. You begged him to stay but he didn't…for a while at least." He looked at her closely. "How did this happen to you?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." She muttered.

He leaned forward and tapped her forehead with his two fingers. "Is there anyone in there?" She pushed his hand away and growled. He smiled. "There is life in there after all. That's good to know."

"What the hell is your problem with me? What did I ever do to you?"

"Do you hate me, Sam?" She nodded eagerly. "Let me hear you say it! Tell me you hate me!"

"Fine! I hate you! Are you happy now?"

Dr. Finklebot sat back in his chair and sighed. "Did you only say that to make me happy?" She wouldn't look at him and shrugged. "Do you wish Dr. Roberts was here instead of me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do. Andrew is never this mean."

He smirked. "Do you call him Andrew?" Her eyes widened. "After all of this is done, will you send me a love note like you did with him?" She paled. "We had a good laugh over that. He showed everyone, you know?" Her eyes watered. "It thrilled him beyond belief to know that he got another stupid girl on his side." He sighed when he saw a tear slip down her cheek. "You may think I am a cruel old man but I'm just trying to help. I want you to become the person you are meant to be. You have the potential to be a powerful woman if only you'd let yourself. You are the most insecure girl I've met! You are beautiful, smart, and strong but extremely insecure. You…you can be so wonderful if you let go of your insecurities."

Sam was silent until he coughed. "Are we done yet?"

Dr. Finklebot sighed. "No, we aren't." She sighed. "Sam, you need extra sessions to help you out."

"Why?" She whispered.

"It all comes down to your insecurities." She looked up. "You tried to kill yourself over your husband. You need help." She shrugged. "I will see you after lunch. Be prepared for more of my harsh opinion." She rolled her eyes. "You may go." She left quickly.

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Sam walked into her room and kicked the chair that was beside her bed. She was mad as hell. She couldn't believe how mean he was. She couldn't believe how Andrew showed everyone that stupid love note she sent to him. She didn't even mean it. She sat on her bed and looked around. She saw Sirius' letter and picked it up. She opened up the envelope and began to read his explanation. She rolled her eyes and scoffed at his lame attempt to explain what happened. She balled up the letter and threw it across the room. She wrote him a response that he would never forget.

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"You're back." 

Sam closed the door behind her and glared at him. "Was there ever any doubt?" He nodded. "It's not like I have a choice."

Dr. Finklebot smirked. "Of course you have a choice." She shrugged and went to open the door. "However," She stopped moving and waited. "If you do leave then you will be here a hell of a lot longer than you should be."

She sighed and flopped down into the chair. "So, what do you want to talk about now? Are you going to tell me how crappy my hair looks because it shows my neck more?"

He laughed. "That's a good one." She shrugged. "Don't you like your hair?"

She looked at him oddly. "What are you talking about now?"

"You mentioned your hair. Don't you like it?"

She shrugged. "I like it just fine. I should have cut it years ago."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. I just didn't."

"Why did you do it now?"

Sam laughed. "Do you really want to know why?" He nodded. She told him the truth and laughed again when she saw the look on his face. "What do you want to talk about now?"

Dr. Finklebot was silent before letting out a low whistle. "I…wow. Ok, that…I like the short hair."

She nodded. "Thank you." He shrugged. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Let's talk more about your insecurities." She groaned. "Tell me about Patrick."

"What do you want to know about him?"

"How did you two meet?"

"We met at school. He is Michael's cousin." He nodded. "We would only see each other in passing. We never hung out together."

"How did you two get together?"

"I went to Paris with Lilac, Michael, and his family the summer before my third year. Patrick and his parents joined us a week after we arrived." He nodded. "Lilac, Michael, Patrick, and I spent every waking moment together for about a month. Lilac and Michael started going off by themselves and that left Patrick and me to ourselves. We hung out together and got to know each other. It was my thirteenth birthday and we went to see the Eiffel Tower that night. He kissed me and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and the rest, as they say, is history."

Dr. Finklebot nodded. "You stopped eating because he expressed his fear that you were getting fat, is that right?" She nodded. "Were you?"

"No, I wasn't."

"Why did you listen to him if you knew that you weren't getting fat?" She shrugged. He groaned. "Sam, talk to me now or you won't leave this place." She sighed. "Do you want to spend your remaining days in the hospital or do you want to spend them living your life?"

Sam gave him a bored look. "I-I thought that…" He nodded eagerly. "He was my boyfriend, right?" He nodded slowly. "He was supposed to care about me. He was supposed to look out for my well-being. I thought that he was doing just that. I thought that he was seeing something that I just couldn't and was looking out for me. I was an idiot."

Dr. Finklebot smiled. "Yes, you were." She huffed out a laugh. "But I do understand where you were coming from." She looked at him in disbelief. "I'm being serious. You were a young girl who never had a boyfriend before and just thought that all boys were good. That's not stupid. That's naïve." He stared at her closely. "After the attack…you are not naïve in that respect anymore, are you?"

She smiled. "Men hurt women. Men destroy all that is good in women. Men get what they want and then, throw it away when they are done playing with it." He smirked. "A woman doesn't expect it the first time. The second time, she is cautious, if she is smart, and is only a little surprised when it happens again. The third time…should never happen."

He sat back in his chair and rested his chin on his fist. He smiled questioningly at her. "That is an interesting theory, Sam." She shrugged. "Hasn't this happened to you more than three times?"

"I'm not that bright, obviously."

"When it comes to men…I don't think you are." She shrugged again. "I think you could be." He sighed when he saw another shrug. "How did you and Patrick break up?" He laughed when she was done. She stared at him in amusement. "You really threatened him and his friends?"

She looked offended. "Of course I did!" He smiled in delight. "He made a bet about me and my virginity with his moronic friends! He, like the idiot he was, tried to take on my brother, Sirius, Remus, and Michael. That never ends well!"

"I sensed that." He smiled. "I can't believe you threatened him." She smiled. "You had a lot of fire back then."

She laughed. "What?"

He smiled. "You…you just seemed to have a passion back then. You went up against someone that was tearing you down little by little. That takes a lot of guts. We'll get you back to that."

She laughed again. "Dr. Finklebot, you've got it all wrong." He gave her a questioning look. "I've threatened people left and right. That's not new. I like to think of it as my hobby."

Dr. Finklebot laughed. "It's your hobby?" She laughed and shrugged. "Tell me about it." He looked at her in surprise and seemed to be really impressed by her stories. "You like to threaten people, don't you?"

"It passes the time."

He laughed. "You are strong but you could be stronger." She nodded. He looked at her for a moment before speaking. "Do you like eggs?" She looked at him like he was crazy. He smiled. "Just answer the question. I promise I have a point."

She nodded slowly. "I-I like eggs just fine. Why do you ask?"

"What was your favorite type of eggs when you were with Patrick?"

"I-I…scrambled."

He nodded. "What was his favorite type of eggs?"

She took a moment to think and sighed. "His favorite was scrambled as well."

"What were your favorite eggs when you were with Remus?"

"I liked omelets."

"And Remus?"

"He liked omelets too."

"What about after your first break up with him? What eggs did you like then?"

"I…um…didn't really eat after our first break up."

Dr. Finklebot's eyebrow rose in question before he nodded slowly. "I see. What about after the two of you got back together? Did you two still like omelets?" She nodded. "What about after your second break up? Did you eat then?"

"I ate a little and before you ask, I liked eggs Florentine and scrambled."

He smiled. "What did Chris and Michael like?"

Sam sighed. "Chris liked scrambled and Michael liked eggs Florentine."

"What about when you were with Sirius?"

"We both liked eggs benedict." His smile grew. "I didn't eat anything after we broke up, just so you know."

"And now? What eggs did you eat for breakfast today?"

She shook her head. "I didn't eat any. The sight of them made me sick." He laughed. "What is this all about?"

Dr. Finklebot shook his head. "Do me a favor?" She stared at him closely. "For the time that you are here, I want you to try each type of eggs that you've mentioned and tell me which one you prefer."

"Does this have anything to do with the guys I've dated?" He nodded. "Oh, I see! If I like one type of eggs more than the other it shows which guy I care about more. Am I right?"

Dr. Finklebot sighed dejectedly. "No, it doesn't." She looked at him curiously. "It has to deal with finding out what you really like."

"I don't understand."

He groaned. "Do you listen to yourself when you talk?" She shrugged. "Every guy that you've dated liked a different type of egg and when you were with them, you liked them same thing they did." She was silent before she let out a gasp. He smiled. "You finally see it, don't you?" She nodded slowly. "I want you to forget what they liked and figure out what you like. This is one way to find out about yourself, Samantha. Forget what you thought you liked with them and find out what you like now. Do you really like scrambled eggs or did you like them because Patrick and Chris did?" She bit her lip. "Now is the time where you forget about others and focus on you."

"When I was a kid…" He looked at her with interest. "My Dad and James loved sunny side up eggs and…I loved them too." He smiled. "This has been going on all my life, hasn't it?" He nodded. "I'm sick, aren't I?" He shook his head. "I'm the biggest idiot, aren't I?"

He laughed. "No, you aren't, Sam. You have just been too busy trying to please everyone else that you haven't been able to figure out what you like or what you want."

"Do you really think that figuring out what type of eggs I like will help?"

"Yes, I do." He smiled encouragingly at her. "I'll help you figure out what you like and don't like. You'll be fine." She gave him a small smile. "Now, tell me about your brother-"

"My brother is an asshole."

His eyes widened. "Is he now?" She nodded eagerly. "Why is that?"

She rolled her eyes. "That could take all day to explain!" He laughed. "How much time do we have?"

"We have all the time you need." She nodded. "Tell me about James and why he is an asshole." She told him how James was the asshole she thought he was. He nodded quickly and jotted down a few notes on his clipboard. He looked at her and smiled. "Sam, posting your diary entries about Sirius to embarrass you is what older brothers do. It's in their nature to annoy, torture, and make fun of their younger siblings. It's also in their nature to protect their younger sibling if someone bothers, harasses, or hurts them. It's their job to torment their little sister or brother but no one else can hurt them."

Sam laughed. "Dr. Finklebot, believe me, I know that. If James was your older brother, you'd know that too." He laughed. "But that's not what makes him an asshole this time."

Dr. Finklebot leaned forward and smiled. "Then what makes him an asshole this time, Sam?" She told him about what happened before she left and he sighed. "He said that you weren't his sister anymore."

She nodded. "Yes, he did."

He patted her hand. "I'm sorry, Sam. He shouldn't have said that to you."

She smiled and shrugged. "It's ok. I'm fine really. James chose Sirius over me once again." She looked at him and saw the concern on his face and she smiled at him again. "Dr. Finklebot, it's ok. It really is ok. I…you get used to it. James and Sirius are brothers. They are closer than brothers. No matter what, they stand by each other." She laughed. "I guess, James should have married Sirius instead." He let out a tiny laugh. "I'll be ok. To me, it's just one less person I have to buy a Christmas present for." He smiled. "I have all the people in my life that I need. I have the girls, Frank, Kevin, Chris, Michael, Mama, and Lily. I'm really blessed and grateful to have so many people in my life that care so much about me. I have nothing to feel sorry for. I have plenty of people who love me no matter what. A lot of people aren't as lucky as I am."

Dr. Finklebot looked at her oddly. "You didn't mention your father, Sam."

"What?"

"You mentioned everyone that you say loves you no matter what…except your father. Why is that?"

She looked down at the ground and sighed. "Daddy…" She shook her head and he watched with interest as she struggled with herself. "_Harold_ isn't my father anymore. I have no father."

His eyes widened. "Why is that, Sam?" She didn't answer. He sighed. "Sam, talk to me!" She jumped when he slammed his hand down on his desk but she still didn't answer. "Do you want me to recommend that you stay here instead of going back to school? Do you really want me to do that?" She shook her head slowly. "I need you to talk to me. I need you to talk to me so that I can help you-"

"He told me that I wasn't his daughter anymore." She whispered.

"What?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. "He said I wasn't his daughter anymore. I-I was bad…" He stared at her in surprise. "I-I hurt my daddy…he doesn't want me anymore." She looked at him with eyes full of tears and her chin trembled. "I slapped him when he said I couldn't get a divorce. That was after I kept pushing him. He accused me of using Sirius for sex and I lost it. He said I wasn't his daughter anymore and I went to hug him and to ask for forgiveness…he slapped me twice." He didn't move. He just watched her as she looked at her fidgeting fingers as she told the story. "Daddy never hit me like that before. Sure, I was spanked when I was younger and being a real brat but he never slapped me before." She wiped her eyes and looked at him. She laughed and shrugged. "I did deserve it though. I was being a real brat and I did deserve it." He shook his head. She smiled. "Yes, I did." She sighed. "He helped us. He helped Sirius and I elope…and I just treated him like crap. He wanted me to stay at home with Sirius and be married like we wanted but I couldn't…can't do that. My husband hurt me deeply."

Dr. Finklebot eyed her closely. "Sam, who are you speaking to?"

"The list of people I'm not speaking to is much shorter."

He laughed. "Ok, who aren't you speaking to?"

"I'm definitely not speaking to Severus anymore!" He nodded. "I'm not speaking to James, Harold, possibly Remus…it depends on how things are when I go back…and I'm not speaking to my husband." She shrugged. "That's about it."

Dr. Finklebot smiled. "That's interesting."

"What is?"

"That after everything, you still call Sirius your husband."

She looked towards the window and shrugged. "That's what he is." She sighed. "I made the choice to marry him and I just have to deal with it. There's nothing I can do."

"What if there was?"

She stared at him and smiled. "What do you mean?"

"What if there was a chance…what if you could divorce him? Would you?"

Her smile grew. "That's a very good question." He shrugged. "I wish I had an answer."

"Do you want to be in love, Sam?"

Sam looked back out the window and sighed. "I…not anymore." She sighed again. "It's hard to believe in and want something that always hurts you in the end."

He nodded. "That's understandable." She nodded. "I have an idea." She didn't look at him but nodded for him to continue. He sighed. "Why don't you be single for a while?"

She laughed. "That's kind of hard to do considering the fact that I'm married."

Dr. Finklebot smiled. "Yes, you are but you are separated from Sirius right now." She stared at him and smiled. "You haven't really been single for a long time and I think it's the perfect time for you to be." She stared at him intently. "Think about the eggs, Sam." Her smile grew. "This is the time for you to figure out who you are and what you want. You…this will help you get past your confusion and help you become stronger."

"How long do you think I should be single?"

"For as long as you want." She gave him a look and he laughed. "Ok, how about for a year? Be single until next New Year's Eve or longer. A year is your limit but you can prolong it if you want." She thought it over. "Also, you will need to abstain from sex for the same amount of time."

Sam laughed. "Dr. Finklebot, I only sleep with someone I'm with. I don't really believe in casual sex." He smirked at her. She laughed again. "I didn't have sex with Severus, thank Merlin." He laughed. "And, Remus…we were sort of together. I stopped everything except friendship with Severus when I started sleeping with Remus again." He nodded. "But I do see your point. I accept your challenge, Dr. Finklebot." They shook hands and he smiled. She shrugged. "I could…I always have masturbation to get me through it."

He pulled his hand away immediately and blushed. His eyes were as wide as saucers. "S-Samantha-!"

She giggled with glee. "I got you good with that one!"

He shook his head and laughed. "That was very cute, Sam." She smiled. "You got me." Her smile grew. "Our time is up for today. I'll see you tomorrow morning, ok?" She nodded. "Remember, eat eggs tomorrow."

She laughed. "I'll remember. Have a good day, sir."

"You can call me Alan." She smiled in curiosity. He smiled at her. "I know your name and now, you know mine. You earned the right to know it and you can call me by that anytime you want."

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you…Alan." He smiled. "Have a good day."

"You have a good day too, Sam."

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* * *

The room was quiet and dark. Sam wrapped the covers around her tighter as she sat on the window seat and leaned her head against the window frame. She smiled as she looked out the window and thought her session. She saw the busy streets filled with muggles and cars. She smiled. She wondered what it would be like to be a muggle and not have worries about being a respectable witch and become a member of the Ministry. She laughed at her stupid thought. According to what Lily said, muggles had the same worries as wizards and witches but different. 

Sam sighed in content. She liked it when she was alone and able to sit and look out the window. She never understood why she liked to just gaze out the window but it always brought her peace. She could be going through a tough time, just like now, or have a good day and just look out the window and look at the moon and star and feel at ease.

The door opened but she didn't hear it. The footsteps took careful steps towards her. "Hi Sam."

She looked away from the window and her smile faded. "What are you doing here?"

Andromeda sighed when she heard the cold tone in her voice. "I came to see you." She just stared at her. "Can I sit down?" She shrugged. She pulled a chair over and sat down next to her. She looked down at her lap and fingered the package she had in her lap self consciously. "Sam, I know-"

Sam shook her head. "What do you want, Andy?" She looked up at her in surprise. "If you've come here to defend my hus-" She took a deep breath. "If you've come here to defend your cousin then I don't want to hear it."

She held up her hands to stop her from talking and shook her head. "N-No, I'm not here for any of that."

"Then why are you here?"

She sighed. "I came here to check on you." She nodded. "How are you doing?"

Sam smiled. "I'm doing ok." Andy smiled. "I'm doing so well that I tried to kill myself yesterday when I found out Sirius cheated on my again only a day after I left him."

Andy gasped. "Sammy-!"

She held up a hand and Andy stopped talking. "I'm sorry, Andy. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told you like that. You didn't deserve that."

"S-Sammy, it's ok." Sam shook her head. "I-I didn't know."

She sighed. "How could you know?" Andy looked down at the ground. "Why are you here?"

She shrugged slowly. "Besides checking on you…I came here to talk to you about Sirius."

Sam groaned. "I don't want to talk about him anymore!" She glared at her. "You said you weren't here to talk about that."

"No, I didn't! I said I wasn't here to defend him! There is a difference!"

She looked away from her. "Andy, you should go."

"No, I won't!"

Sam growled. "Go away, Andy!" Andy glared at her. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" She grunted.

"How could you let me marry him?" Andy sighed. "You knew what he did and you said nothing! Why didn't you tell me before it was too late?"

Andy looked down in shame. "I wanted to tell you." She let out a sarcastic laugh. "I did want to tell you but Sirius wouldn't let me! He said it would be better to tell you after the two of you got married. I knew he was wrong and I knew that you would both be hurt by it but I still didn't say a word." Sam sighed. "Sam, I love Sirius. He is the only family I have left really. If you only knew how much he loved you. If only you knew how much he always loved you…" She sighed. "Sirius is an idiot," Sam nodded in agreement. "But he is an idiot that is completely and totally in love with you. He has never talking about any of his other girlfriends the way he talks about you. He just wanted to be with you so much. He just wanted to be with you forever. I admit that they way he did things and the way he went about it were wrong but he had good intentions. He loves you. He loves only you and he is heartbroken right now."

"And, I'm not?"

She sighed. "I didn't say that. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm grateful that I never had to go through this." Sam nodded. "I'm just telling you that, even though he hurt you and your heart is broken because of what he did, Sirius is heartbroken. He never wants to be without you and now, he is. Sirius never wanted this to happen. He never meant to hurt you and he never meant for the attack to happen." Sam sighed. "He has trouble showing how he feels. Our family, except my father, wasn't very nurturing. We weren't allowed to show emotions. He doesn't know how to show his feelings without closing off."

"You aren't like that. You are able to love without causing pain to the ones you love."

She smiled slightly. "I had my dad and Tim to help me. My dad wasn't like the rest of my family. He showed me love and then, I met Tim." Sam smiled. "Sirius doesn't know how to show his love like normal people do."

She let out a tiny laugh. "No, he doesn't but you are wrong about him, Andy." She looked up in question. "He does know how to show he loves someone. He shows James all the time that he loves and cares for him without question." Andy smiled. She sighed. "The idiot knows how to show love. He has shown me that he loved me but he would always ruin it." Andy stared at her closely. "It was when we were alone that he would show me how he felt but then, he would pull away. So, you were right about him closing off but you are wrong when you say that he doesn't know how to show love."

Andy smiled at her. "Then why aren't you with him?"

Sam sighed. "He has hurt me one too many times. I can't go back to him, Andy." She nodded slowly and sighed. "He was all I've ever wanted. I would pray, wish, and hope that he would look at me as more than just James' little sister." She laughed and shook her head. "I would dream about him every night and he would always tell me that he loved me. He would always kiss me just before I would wake up." Andy smiled at her. "Once we got together, I thought my dream had finally come true but it didn't last long. A few months later, I was heartbroken and he was shagging Sarah." She bit her lip as she looked at Andy's sad face. "I can't do it anymore, Andy. I can't be with him just so he can hurt me again. I don't have it in me. I'd be an idiot to stay with him when I know it won't last."

She shook her head. "Sammy, you don't know that for sure. He isn't the same arrogant little boy I knew and you fell in love with. He is an arrogant man that knows how to love. He has changed for the better. You could still be with him."

"No, I can't, Andy. He may have changed some but he…we are too immature to be together. We aren't ready for each other and we never will be. He has a lot of growing up to do and so do I. Andy, I…I just realized something important about myself. I need to figure out who I am and what I want before I can be with anyone. I'm not even sure that I want to be with anyone."

"Sam, if you do figure that all out about yourself and want to be with someone, would you go back to Sirius then?" She shook her head. "Why not?"

"Andy, are you deaf?" She glared at her. "Don't look at me like that! You heard what I said! Sirius and I are over for good this time. There's no going back."

Andy sighed. "Sam, what if I could prove to you that Sirius has loved you all along? Would that change your mind?"

Sam eyed her closely. "How would you do that?" She saw the package in her lap. "What's that, Andy?"

She smiled and held the package in her hands. "This is my proof." Sam gave her a weird look. "These are letters Sirius has written to me since the day he has started Hogwarts. In every one of those letters he mentions you and how he feels…well…not so much how he felt but you can get his feelings through his words." Sam stared at her in surprise. "I'm giving them to you."

She shook her head. "I can't take them, Andy."

"Why not?"

She sighed. "Aren't you afraid I will do something crazy like burn them?"

She smiled. "You won't do that. You won't do something crazy like that."

Sam laughed and pointed to her bandaged arms. "Um…hello?"

Andy's smile grew. "I know you, Sam. You won't burn them." She handed over the letters and Sam stared at them before taking them. "Read them, Sam."

"What? You want me to read them right now?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. I want you to read them when you are ready. Will you read them? Promise me that you will read them when you are ready."

She sighed. "I promise I will read them when I'm ready, Andy."

Andy smiled. "Thank you, Sammy." She nodded. "Sam, I know you are still angry with me for not telling you and I don't blame you one bit but I'm grateful that you listened to me." She shrugged. "I hope you get better soon, Sammy."

"Thank you, Andy." Sam gave her a quick hug and Andy smiled in surprise. "Thanks for keeping your promise and not defend Sirius to me."

She blushed at her sarcastic tone. She shrugged. "What can I say? Sirius is my family and I love him. I will always defend him no matter how much of a git he is."

Sam smiled. "That's good to know." Andy walked to the door. "Goodbye, Andy."

Andy turned around and smiled. "It's not goodbye, Sammy."

"It's not?"

She shook her head. "I'll see you again when you remarry Sirius."

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Wishful thinking, Andy?" She shrugged in response. "I'll be seeing you."

"I'll be seeing you too, Sammy. Get better soon." Sam nodded in response and Andy was gone.

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* * *

"So what eggs have you tried so far?" 

Sam smiled. "I've tried scrambled, omelets, and hard boiled eggs."

Alan's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Who liked hard boiled?"

She shook her head. "No one did. I just figured that since there are many ways to cook eggs that I should try them all just in case. There are many different ways to cook eggs so why not broaden my horizons. There is more to life than just what my ex-boyfriends liked."

He smiled. "That's very good, Samantha." She smiled. "What do you think so far?"

Sam laughed. "I'll let you know when I'm done."

He nodded. "That's fair." He scratched his cheek. "Let's talk about your parents." She sighed. "How is your relationship with your mother?"

"Can I ask you something first?"

"Of course you can."

She took a deep breath. "You know Andrew was my first counselor." He nodded. "And, he took notes in our sessions just like you do." He nodded again. "I talked about my parents with him before." He motioned for her to continue. "Don't you have his notes?"

"I have a preliminary report of your sessions. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "Well, if you have the preliminary report about everything we talking about then why do I have to talk about it again with you?"

Alan smiled. "That's a very good question." She shrugged again. "Well, if you must know, I may have the report but I would prefer to hear it from you. I'd like to see your reactions to the things we talk about that you've talked with Andrew about in person than read it in some boring report." She laughed. "Is that alright with you?" She nodded. "Plus, since the last time you talked with him, things have dramatically changed." She nodded again. "Ok, let's get started. So, how is your relationship with your mother?"

"My relationship with my Mum is just fine now. We had a rough patch when she threatened to send me here and when I married Sirius but we are fine now."

"She was against your marriage to Sirius?" She nodded. "Why is that?"

"Well, we are too young and it will never last. We are smarter than to run off and get married like that. You know, the usual mum speech."

He nodded and wrote some notes down on his clipboard. "She was right, you know?" She looked at him closely. "You were stupid to run off and get married at your age." She nodded and shrugged. "Also, it didn't last really. You left Sirius hours after getting married and are here while he is back at school."

Sam smiled. "You and my Mum are right. It was stupid to get married but we were desperate to stay together." She laughed. "Obviously, that didn't work out."

"You told her about how and when you lost your virginity to Remus, is that right?" She nodded. "How did she react?"

"Well, she was shocked as all hell when I told her." He laughed and nodded. "But she didn't treat us differently afterwards. I know it was hard for her not to ring his neck when he came to our house for the rest of them summer…even Sirius had trouble not hurting him but they refrained. They treated us normally…even though they would interrupt us if we were left alone for more than five seconds."

"That's interesting."

"What is?"

He shook his head. "How did Sirius find out? It seems odd that you would confide such a big secret like that in him when you told me how protective he was of you."

Sam smiled. "No way in hell would I have told Sirius voluntarily! He would have locked me in my dorm for years and beat Remus to a bloody pulp if I did!"

"Then how did he find out?"

"I…um…Remus and I knew we rushed things. I was a basket case afterwards. I didn't expect how it would feel and I was surprised. James made an innocent comment but I ran off crying. Remus came after me and we were talking about what happened between us. Sirius came after us to see what was wrong and overheard our conversation. That's how he found out."

"I see. Now, tell me about your father."

"What do you want to know about him?"

Alan smiled. "How was your relationship with him before all of this happened?"

She shrugged. "It was a normal father and daughter relationship." He smiled at her. "Ok, we were closer than close. I was a complete daddy's girl. I would do anything he asked without question because he was my father and he was my entire world. There is nothing he would deny me. I was his little girl. He loved me like no other. How's that?"

"You're still angry with him."

"Of course I am. Wouldn't you be?" He didn't answer. She sighed. "I know I acted horribly towards him. I shouldn't have pushed and slapped him. I shouldn't have said those things to him after he went behind my mother's back to help us get married but he shouldn't have accused me of using Sirius for sex. Sirius isn't that good to be used for sex!"

He laughed. "Is he _that_ bad?" She wouldn't look at him. A wide smile appeared on his face. "Sirius…he's the best, isn't he?" She looked around the room and his smile grew. "Didn't you tell me that you told your friends that you used to call him your 'little minute man'?" She nodded slowly. "Well, which is it?"

Sam groaned. "You really want to know?" He nodded eagerly. "Well, I did call him that…after we broke up. Sirius and Remus did, on occasion, finish the job quickly."

"But?"

"_But_...well…Remus was great! He took his time and it felt good being with him. Sirius was…"

He leaned forward in interest. "What was Sirius?"

She let out a pitiful groan. She muttered but he gave her a look. She sighed in frustration. "Ok, I'll tell you!" He smiled. "Sirius was the best, ok? Remus was great but Sirius was the best!"

Alan laughed. "Sirius was the best." She rolled her eyes and nodded. "Why didn't you tell him?"

She gave him a look. "Are you kidding me? That git has an ego the size of this entire galaxy!" He laughed again. "If I told him _that_…" She shuddered. "He would never let me forget it! No matter how many times I'd say I'd hate him, he would just tell me in some smug voice…'Yeah, well, I was the best you ever had'!"

He laughed and shook his head. "From what you've told me about him, he would say that to you." She nodded in agreement. "But, we are getting side tracked. Let's go back to talking about your father."

"What else is there to say? We were close once and now, we aren't. He doesn't want me to be his daughter, James doesn't want me to be his sister, and I'm here…talking with you." He was about to speak but stopped when she continued talking. "They chose sides. They could have stayed out of it and just supported the both of us but they didn't. They blamed it all on me and chose Sirius." She gritted her teeth. "I was only their daughter and sister for almost seventeen years but Sirius, they knew him for close to a decade!" His eyes widened. "How could I possibly forgive them after that? I was a loyal and loving daughter and sister but Sirius breaks my heart and almost gets me kill and he comes out as the conquering hero turned victim! The three of them can kiss my ass! They can have each other for all I care!"

"That's a nice outburst you had there." She gave him a small smile. "Sam, I do understand that you are still angry with them and for good reason. It's only been a few days since this has happened but don't you think you will forgive them?"

She sighed in defeat. "I don't know if I want to. They hurt me…and yes, I hurt them too but…it's hard. I'm sure one day I will forgive them but I just can't right now." He nodded slowly. "I've always forgiven Sirius and James for everything but I'm tired of doing that. I just pretend that everything is ok afterwards when inside, I just want to beat the crap out of them."

Alan laughed. "A lot of people feel that way about the ones they love." She smiled. "The problem with you is that you let out some of your anger but you keep your feelings bottled up. That is not healthy!" She stared at him. "Look at the way you handled Remus cheating on you. He hurt you and yes, you did give him the cold shoulder but you ran back to him like nothing happened. The night you broke up with him, you saw how he was drooling over that girl and how jealous he got when she was dancing with that other boy and you broke up with but you still slept with him anyway! Why did you do that? Why didn't you make him pay for hurting and humiliating you the way he did? Why did you sleep with him when you should have punched his lights out?"

"I-I don't know." She muttered.

"Yes, you do! Tell me the reason why and then, I can help you get over Remus and all of your confusion."

Sam looked down at the ground. He waited for her answer patiently. "I-I…" He nodded for her to continue. She looked up in surprise when the realization hit her. He smiled encouragingly at her as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I just wanted his approval. I wanted him to see me as the girl who would be able to take anything and put up with anything. As much as I loved him…I just wanted his approval. I didn't say anything because I knew that was what he wanted. He wanted to walk away guilt free and I let him." His smile grew. "I just wanted to be what he wanted me to be and not myself." He nodded eagerly. "I keep trying to see the approval of everyone but myself." She wiped her eyes. "Ever since I was a kid, I looked for approval from everyone except from the most important person, me." She sighed. "All this time, I was scared of disappointing the people I care about that I disappointed myself in the end. I shouldn't have been trying to get their approval. I should have been trying to figure out what I want. I should have been figuring out who I am and let people accept me as I was."

He cheered. "Yes, that's it, Sammy!" She smiled at his reaction. "You did this, Sam. You figured it out on your own! This is a big step! You did this on your own!"

"You-"

"No, don't say it. I may have started the conversation but you got their on your own. I asked the important question but you thought about it and figured it out."

"So, you're saying that there is hope for me yet?"

Alan laughed. "Yes, that's what I'm saying exactly, Sam. There is definitely hope for you." She smiled. "Now, all we have to do is get you over Remus." She laughed. "We can get you over him. Yes, you may always love him but it's ok to let go of him." She nodded. "You will be able to get past all of this confusion and live your life. How does that sounds?"

A faint smile appeared on her face. "That would be nice."


	64. Chapter 63: The Harsh Light Of Day

Author's Note: This is a really short chapter but I still hope you like it. I want to give a special thanks to Patamon32. He helped me out with this chapter's title. You should check out his story. It's really good. Ok, thanks again Patamon32. I really appreciated it. I did proof this chapter. Hopefully, there aren't too many mistakes. Enjoy!

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Chapter 63: The Harsh Light Of Day

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Sirius yawned as he made his way up to his room. He said goodbye to his father and Dumbledore and left them to go to bed. He was lost in his thoughts as he walked the halls to the portrait hole. His heart was heavy when he thought about what Sam tried to do because of the second letter she received from her friends and of their conversation. It may have not been real to her but he meant every word he said to her. She was his world and the thought of almost losing her for good brought him to his knees. He couldn't imagine being without her and he almost found out. He knew he would be inconsolable if she died. He loved her and he could deal with her being mad at him and not speaking to him but he couldn't handle her being dead. He couldn't handle not seeing her everyday except in pictures and in his mind.

He opened the door to his room and closed the door behind him. The others were sound asleep and he sighed in relief. "Padfoot?"

He stopped and looked at James. "What are you still doing up?"

James sat up and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." He nodded. "Where were you?" He looked around and James shook his head. "They can't hear us. Peter was snoring too loud and Remus couldn't take it so he put up a silencing charm around his bed. I couldn't take the snoring so I put a silencing charm up around Peter's bed."

Sirius smiled and sat down next to him. "I went to see Sam."

He rolled his eyes. "Why would you do that?"

He stared at his friend in surprise. "Why wouldn't I?" James rolled his eyes again. "She needed me. My wife needed me and so, I went to see her."

"She needed attention."

Sirius glared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? She is your sister and you are acting like you don't even care about what she tried-"

James looked at him with interest. "What did she try to do?" He shook his head. "Sirius, you better tell me! Is she ok? Is she hurt?"

"I can't-"

"You better tell me what the hell is wrong with her right now! She is my sister and I deserve to know!"

He looked at his best friend and sighed. "When she got the second letter…she tried to kill herself."

He laughed. "No, she didn't." Sirius sighed. His eyes widened. "N-No, you're wrong. Sammy…Sammy wouldn't do that. She just wouldn't."

Sirius nodded. "Yes, she did." James looked away from him. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone but I thought you should know."

James let out a bitter laugh. "That's just like her. She always has to be the center of attention."

His eyes widened. "What?"

They laid down and stared at the ceiling. "How are you doing?" He shrugged. He looked at him and sighed. "Mate, don't worry about it. She will be fine. She'll get the attention she wants and then, it will be over."

He turned his head and stared at him in disbelief. "Prongs, she really did try to kill herself." He rolled his eyes. He sneered at him. "You didn't see her. She was covered in blood and her arms were wrapped in bandages." James didn't look at him and shrugged in response. "No wonder Mum didn't tell you. You just don't care."

"Why should I? She is always getting attention. This was just typical Sammy."

"Why do you hate her so much? She's done nothing to you."

He looked at him. "She hurt my best friends for no reason! She is constantly hurting you for no reason!"

Sirius shook his head. "Are you stupid?" James glared at him. "No, are you stupid?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

He laughed. "You are a complete moron!" James gave him a hard look. "Have you forgotten how much of an asshole I was to her when we went out?" James didn't answer. "Did you forget that I almost got her killed?" James was silent. "After all that, she has every right to hate me. I'd hate me if I was her."

"That may be true but she didn't have to treat you the way she did after she found out."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I did deserve it after the way I broke up with her." James groaned. "You may be mad at her for leaving me but I think you are angry at her more for Lily leaving you."

"She didn't have to tell her I knew about everything!"

"We lied to them. They have every right to be angry."

He glared at him. "I'm not sure I like this new you." Sirius smiled and shrugged. He sighed. "I just miss her. I want her back."

He smiled. "And, I want Sam back." James nodded. "We'll get them back."

"I hope so." James looked at him. "How will we get them back?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know…but we will. I know we will." They talked for a little while longer before falling asleep.

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"Lily." 

"Sammy."

Remus yawned as he got out of bed and stretched. His ears perked up when he heard moaning. He looked around the room and saw Peter snoring and Sirius' bed empty. He looked at James' bed and saw the curtains were drawn. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when the moaning continued. He took slow and careful steps towards his bed. "Lily, I love you."

"I want you so much, Sammy."

"Kiss me, Lily."

"Whatever you want, Baby."

He pulled back the curtains and his eyes widened. He felt sick to his stomach as he saw James and Sirius kissing passionately. "What the bloody hell is going on here?"

They pulled apart and looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong, Moony?" James yawned.

"Are you ok?" Sirius mumbled.

Remus' mouth opened and closed in shock before he could speak. "I-I…what are you two idiots doing?"

They gave him a curious look before they turned towards each other. They stared at each other in silence before what they were doing sunk in. Their arms and legs were entwined and their hair was ruffled. Their lips were swollen. Their eyes widened before they pulled apart and started screaming. Remus started to laugh. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" They yelled. "What am I doing? What are you doing?" They jumped away from each other and fell off the bed. They stood up quickly and shuddered in disgust. "That's disgusting!"

"Guys, calm down and shut up!" Remus laughed. They started wiping their mouths and gagging. "What happened?" They opened their mouths but he held up his hand to stop them. "One at a time please." They opened their mouths and he sighed. "James, you can go first."

James nodded. "I-I don't know what happened really. One minute I was dreaming of Lily and the next, I was in bed with…_him_."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Like it was a picnic for me to wake up from a dream about Sam and find myself in bed with _you_." James glared at him. "This is too disturbing."

They looked at Remus. "What did you see? What happened?" They asked.

He smirked in delight. "I didn't see anything." They sighed in relief. "Except my two best friends moaning and snogging in bed together." They paled in response. He started laughing. "It was really disgusting. James was calling out Lily's name and Sirius was calling out Sam's name. James, you told _Lily_ to kiss you." James groaned. "And Sirius, you called James _baby_." He continued to laugh. "It was the most disgusting thing I ever saw. I may never eat or stop laughing again!"

They groaned as they sat down next to each other on the bed but jumped up immediately when they looked at each other. "This can't be happening." They muttered. Remus smiled at them. They looked at Remus and glared when they heard him laughing. "What are you laughing at?"

Remus was giggling with glee. "I'm laughing at you two idiots!" They glared at him. "I'm also laughing at what everyone's reaction we will be when they hear about Hogwarts' two most sought after guys snogging in bed!"

Their heads snapped up. "What? You can't tell anyone about this!" They yelled.

He smiled. "Why shouldn't I? Everyone will enjoy it!"

"Remus, please-"

He held up his hand. "Sirius, save it! I promise I won't tell." They sighed in relief. "Let's get ready for breakfast." They nodded. "Just do me a favor." They looked at him. "Please, don't watch me while I dress. I'm shy." They glared at him. He laughed. "And, no snogging while I'm in the room. You two love birds should do that in private." They rolled their eyes and gave him the finger.

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They sat at the table and James and Sirius sat away from each other and glared at Remus as he smirked at them while eating his eggs. Peter yawned. "I can't believe we have to go to class. I'm too tired." 

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Peter. McGonagall's class is first. You can sleep while she tries to teach you not to transform your shoes into lethal weapons."

"That is very funny, Mr. Black. I do hope to help prevent Mr. Pettigrew from getting attacked by inanimate objects." Professor McGonagall said. The boys hid their laughter while Peter glared. "I also can not wait to hear more of your witty comments to get us through my class."

James laughed as she walked away. "Good one, mate." Sirius smiled as they high fived but their eyes widened and pulled their hands away quickly. "We…uh…probably shouldn't touch hands or…anything else for that matter for a while."

"You're right, mate. That's a good idea."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You two are idiots." They shrugged. "But you are right. People might talk if you two come out so soon." They sneered at him. He smiled. "You two do make such a beautiful couple."

"Shut up, Moony!" They groaned while Peter looked confused.

Frank, Kevin, and Chris sat down next to them and stared at Sirius and James. They looked at Sirius' left hand and saw the ring. "So, what the girls said is true then?" Chris asked.

Sirius looked at him oddly. "What did they have to say this time?"

Kevin shrugged. "They just told us about your adventure over holiday." Sirius groaned. "Did you and Sam really get married?"

He held up his left hand and wiggled his fingers. "Yes, we did."

Frank laughed. "Good job almost getting your wife killed, ass!"

James glared at them. "Leave him alone! He didn't mean for that to happen!"

Chris eyed him closely. "Lily told us that you knew all along and didn't say a word to anyone." James sneered. "Good job protecting your sister, dick."

Remus sighed. "Ok, that's enough out of everyone!" They looked at him. "Sirius and James made some mistakes and they are paying the consequences. Sam left Sirius and went back to St. Mungo's. Lily broke up with James and has gone back to pretending that he doesn't exist. They have enough to deal with. They don't need the three of you giving them shit." They sighed. "Now, I don't care which side you take or if you don't take a side. Just keep your comments to yourself because they have enough to deal with."

The girls walked in and sat down. James smiled at Lily. "Hi Lily."

Lily yawned in response. His face fell. Lilac smiled. "Lily, I think a pathetic jackass who only cares about himself is trying to talk to you."

James glared at her. "Why don't you mind your own business, Lilac?"

Lilac rolled her eyes. "Why don't you shut up and snog your boyfriend?"

James and Sirius glared at Remus. He shook his head. "I swear, I didn't say anything!" He whispered to them. "I think she is just being a bitch."

"Now, there's a shock!" Peter muttered.

Sirius smirked at him. "Good one, mate." Peter smiled and shrugged. "Lilac, why do you have to butt in where you're not wanted?"

"Why don't you go cheat on your _wife_ with your _girlfriend_ again?" He gritted his teeth. "But you should do that after you try to kill her again!"

Alice sighed. "Lilac, would you give it a rest for once? The last thing we need is more fighting! When Sam comes back-"

"_If_ she comes back, you mean." Mary said.

Sirius' head snapped up when she said that. Alice nodded. "If and when Sam comes back, there will be more fighting than we can handle."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked slowly. "Why do you think she won't come back?"

Patty sighed. "We don't know anything for sure, Sirius."

Lily looked at him closely. "We just…never mind."

Sirius followed her out of the Great Hall. "Is she coming back, Lily?" She ignored him. He stood in front of her and blocked her from leaving. "Please, tell me, Lily."

She sighed. "I don't know, Sirius. With all that happened this year, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't come back." He looked down at the ground. "I don't know anything for sure." He nodded slowly but still didn't look at her. "I have to go now."

He stared at her retreating form. "I miss her, Lily."

Lily turned back to look at him. "I know you do."

"I really do love her." She nodded. "I want her to come back to school…and to me."

She sighed again. "I know that, Sirius." He stared at her. "But I can't help you with any of that. It's up to Sam."

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James and Sirius walked into their room with Remus and Peter following them. They laid down on their beds and groaned. "I'm so fucking tired!" James groaned. 

"So am I." Remus muttered.

Sirius yawned. "I could sleep for days!"

They nodded in agreement. There was a pecking at the window and they sighed. They ordered Peter to get it and he grumbled. He opened the window and took the envelope from the owl. "Sirius, it's for you."

He yawned as he nodded. He gulped when he noticed that it was a howler. "Oh shit!"

They looked at him in confusion. "What is it?" They asked in unison. He held up the howler and their eyes widened. "Oh shit!"

Sirius took a deep breath before opening the envelope with shaky hands. _"SIRIUS BLACK!_" His eyes widened when he heard Sam's voice yell at him. "_I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE I MARRIED YOU!_" He groaned. "_YOU HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT SORRY EXCUSE YOU GAVE ME?_" He shook his head. "_YOU BROKE YET ANOTHER PROMISE TO ME, SIRIUS! I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU ENOUGH TO KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!_" His chin trembled. "_I'VE ONLY BEEN GONE FOR THREE DAYS AND YOU ARE ALREADY CHEATING ON ME?_" The others walked over to him and sat down on his bed next to him. "_AND, YOU HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT SLUT WAS ME!_" James put a hand on his shoulder in comfort. "_YOU ARE A PATHETIC PIECE OF CRAP! TO THINK I WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GOING BACK TO YOU!_" A tear slipped down his cheek. "_I HATE YOU! ONCE I'M ABLE TO, I'M GETTING A DIVORCE!_" Remus sighed. "_DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO ME WHEN I RETURN! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!_" Peter trembled in fear. "_HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN? WE ARE STILL MARRIED AND YOU CHEATED ON ME AGAIN THE MOMENT MY BACK IS TURNED! I HATE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW! THERE IS NO WAY I WILL BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME!"_ Sirius bit back a sob. "_I WISH I NEVER MET YOU! I WISH I NEVER FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I WISH I NEVER MARRIED YOU! IT'S OVER FOR GOOD THIS TIME!_"

They were silent. "Well, at least we know that she got your letter." Peter mumbled.

They glared at him. "You're not helping, Wormtail." Remus grunted.

James sighed. "I'm sorry, mate."

Sirius wiped his eyes and laughed. "It doesn't matter! This is great news actually!" They looked at him in disbelief. "This way I'm free to be with who I want to be with! I don't have to worry about the old ball and chain dragging down my dating average!"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Padfoot, it's ok to be upset."

He stood up and paced. "I'm not upset, Moony!" They watched him closely. "This is going to be great! I'm a free man again! I can be with who I want from now on!" They sighed. He started to cry. "The only problem is that she is the only person I want to be with." They walked over to him and James hugged him. "She is gone, Prongs. She doesn't want me anymore."

He held onto him tightly as he cried. Remus and Peter hugged them. "It's going to be ok, mate. She was just upset. It doesn't mean anything."

Sirius sighed. He tried to pull off his wedding ring but he couldn't do it. "I…I can't take it off. I can't take it off!"

James grabbed his hands. "Padfoot, stop it!" Sirius growled. "You can't take it off because you don't want to!" Sirius' chin trembled. "It's going to be ok!"

"I love her, Prongs." James nodded. "I just wanted to be with her."

Peter sighed. "I-It's going to be ok, Padfoot. She will come back to you. She always does."

Remus smiled. "Wormtail is right, Padfoot. Sam always comes back to you. It just might take a little longer this time."

Sirius smiled sadly. "Do you really think so?"

James smiled. "Yes, we do." Sirius sighed. "I know my sister. She is stubborn as all hell but she is consistent with one thing."

"What's that?" Sirius muttered.

"She loves you no matter what and always will. She may be angry right now but she will never give up on you. Sam will never stop loving you or caring about you. She will pretend not to give a damn about you but it will be a lie."

He nodded slowly. "That is true." They smiled. "Sammy is going to make my life miserable when she returns, isn't she?" They nodded. "This is going to be fun!"


	65. Chapter 64: Cordial Hostility

Author's Note: I know what happens in this chapter, the beginning, is unlikely but I needed to do it. I hope you don't mind. Enjoy!

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Chapter 64: Cordial Hostility.

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Sam shook her head in disbelief. "Are you serious?" Alan nodded. "You have got to be joking!" He shook his head. "This isn't real! It's only been a week!"

Alan smiled in confusion. "What's the problem? I thought you would be happy."

"It just doesn't make any sense!"

"Why is that?"

She sighed. "I've only been here a week." He nodded slowly. "I-I tried to…kill myself." He nodded again. "This doesn't seem right. Usually, when a person tries to do that, they are forced to stay longer. Why is that not the case for me?"

He stared at her closely. "You've made incredible progress in a short amount of time." She shrugged. "I think it would be good for you to go back to a friendly and familiar place."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I am." He eyed her closely. "Why are you scared to go back?"

Sam took a deep breath. "I'm scared to go back because…I'm scared to see him." He nodded. "I think I'm scared that once I see him, I'll go running back to him."

Alan nodded again. "I understand that." She nodded. "But I know you won't."

She looked at him closely. "How do you know that?"

He smiled. "I have faith in you."

Sam smiled. "That makes one of us." He laughed and shrugged. "Will…can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Will you continue to be my healer?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Is that what you want?" She nodded. "Why is that?"

She shrugged. "You have helped me a hell of a lot more than Dr. Roberts ever did." He smiled. "I think you can help me even more."

Alan's smile grew. "I will continue to be your healer." She smiled. "Well, you better go back to your room to get ready. You will be leaving shortly." She nodded and went to the door. "You never told me." She looked back at him. "What eggs did you like?"

Sam laughed. "I found out that I didn't really like eggs after all." He smiled. "But if I was forced to eat them, I'd choose scrambled."

He laughed. "That's good to know." She smiled and opened the door. "You are going to be fine, Sam. I know you will be."

"Thank you, Alan."

"I'll send you an owl to inform you of our next session." She nodded and left.

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Sam sat in the common room and waited for her friends to return after classes. She hoped that they returned before Sirius and the other guys returned. She took a deep breath and looked around the room. She pulled down the sleeves of her shirt to cover her bandages. She heard a group of people walk in and her stomach tied in knots. It felt weird to be back at school. The group of people welcomed her back and she smiled awkwardly in response. She sighed in relief when she saw the girls. The girls were laughing but stopped when they saw her. "Sammy, is that really you?" Patty asked. 

She shrugged. "I hope so."

They hugged her tightly. "It's so good to see you!" Mary exclaimed.

"We've missed you so much!" Alice said.

"I sensed that." She said with an awkward smile.

Lilac smiled. "How are you?" She shrugged in response. "We have so much to tell you!"

Lily and Sam stared at each other. Sam sighed. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

She took a deep breath before hugging her tightly. "I've missed you!"

Sam closed her eyes and sighed in relief. Being hugged by Lily made her feel a lot better. "I've missed you too." She muttered. They pulled apart and she smiled slightly at them. "I've missed all of you!"

The boys walked in while laughing at the top of their lungs. "I can't believe Millicent was trying to flirt with you, Peter!" Chris exclaimed.

Peter shrugged. "Neither can I." He shuddered. "And, I hope she doesn't do it again."

They laughed. "I don't think she will." Frank said.

"He is right. The way you ran off screaming was the hint she needed to stay away." Kevin laughed.

James rolled his eyes. "Peter can't help it if she finds him irresistible!"

They stopped laughing when they saw Sam. She gulped when she saw them especially Sirius. "Is that really you, Sammy?" Frank asked slowly. She nodded. He walked over to her and hugged her. "When did you get back?"

Sam forced out a laugh as Kevin hugged her. "I got back just a few minutes ago."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "It figures that you would wait until after classes to return."

She shrugged. "You know me. I love to miss classes."

Chris picked her up and spun her around. "We missed you."

"So I've heard."

Peter gave her a brief hug. "It's good to see you."

Her awkward smile returned. She was starting to feel overwhelmed. "Thank you, Peter." He blushed. Remus gave her a hug. She hugged him quickly. She knew that her awkwardness wouldn't go away anytime soon. "Hello Remus."

Remus eyed her closely. "Hello Sam." He smiled. "I've got something to tell you." He whispered in her ear. She gave him an odd look. "Trust me. You will love what I have to tell you."

She gave him a weird smile. "I'm sure I will."

He looked at her oddly. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

Sirius stared at her closely. "You're back."

"Yes, I am."

He was surprised by the lack of tone in her voice and that she responded. "Well, welcome back."

She nodded slowly. She felt the weight of everyone's gaze on them. "Thank you."

James glared at her. "Come on, Padfoot. We've got work to do."

Sam bit back a comment and sighed. "It's good to see you too, James."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't talk to me."

She nodded. "If that's what you want." He blinked in surprise. He wasn't expecting that. He eyed her closely. She wasn't acting like herself. She seemed to be off. She turned to look at the others. "So, I've been told that you have a lot to tell me. Who would like to go first?"

They sat her down. "I'll have to tell you in private." Remus whispered.

Sam nodded again. "That's fine." He looked at her closely. She seemed off. "What did I miss?"

Sirius watched her as she listened to the others talk to her. She scratched her arm and he saw the bandage on her arm. He sighed in relief when he saw that they didn't notice them. "It's good to see you." He whispered.

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Michael stood up on the crutches Madam Pomfrey gave him. He groaned. "This is going to be fun." He muttered as he looked at the ground. "How am I going to do this?" 

"Try taking it one step at a time."

He looked over his shoulder and gasped in surprise. "Is that really you, Sammy?"

Sam smiled and shrugged. "I've been asked that a lot today." He stared at her. "Yes, it's really me, Michael." She said with a sigh.

Michael beamed at her before hobbling over to her. They managed an awkward hug. "I…what are you doing here?"

She shrugged again. "I've come to escort you to dinner." He gave her a look. "I was released early for good behavior." He smiled. "Would you like me to help you to the Great Hall?" He nodded. She guided him out of the hospital wing. "Would you like to sit with me at my table? Everyone asked me to ask you when I told them that I was coming to see you."

He smiled. "I'd love to!"

They walked down the hall in silence. Sam had an arm hovering around his back to prevent him from falling. He kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. She sighed. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?"

Michael laughed. "There is nothing on your face." She nodded. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem off. Is there anything wrong?"

She shrugged. "I'm fine." He gave her a look. "It's just weird being back here after everything." He nodded slowly. "I know I've only been gone for a short time but after everything…I just still need to adjust, that's all."

He nodded. "That's understandable." They continued to walk down the halls. "I'm sure you'll be fine. It will take some time but you will be fine soon."

Sam smiled slightly. "I hope so."

They walked into the Great Hall and smiled at their friends. A few people from the other houses greeted and welcomed Sam back. Her shoulders tensed when she felt the entire room staring at her. Her eyes drifted to the Slytherin table and she choked when she saw Severus. He was too busy eating to notice her. Michael saw how pale she looked. "Sam, what's wrong?"

She looked at him. "What…what is _he_ doing here?" His eyebrows furrowed together and he looked where she was pointing. He gulped when he saw Severus. "I…I thought _he_ was expelled."

Michael tore his eyes away from him. "Chris…told me that Sirius went to Dumbledore after you left and told him about his part in the attack." Her eyes widened. "Dumbledore was forced to reinstate him. He put Sirius and Severus on a strict probation."

"I…I didn't know Sirius did that." He shrugged. She sighed. "Let's sit down."

He hobbled over to the table and groaned when one of his crutches dropped to the floor. He started to topple over. Sirius stood up and held him up while Sam grabbed the crutch. Michael eyed him in disgust. "Thank you, Black."

Sirius nodded. "It's the least I could do." He mumbled.

Sam helped Michael sit down and glanced at Sirius before sitting down next to Michael. Sirius sighed before going back to his seat next to James. She stared at Severus and started to turn pale again. Michael watched her closely before putting his arm around her in comfort. She gave him a weak smile as she tensed up. "Can I get you something?" She asked.

Michael shook his head. "I'm fine." She nodded slowly. She was staring at her empty plate. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Are you ok?" She shrugged. "Don't let him get to you, Sam. All you have to do is ignore him."

"I'm fine, Michael. I just didn't expect to see him."

Sirius kept glancing at Sam as she talked with Michael. The others kept trying to talk to them but they were barely talking to anyone but each other. He gave a plate of potatoes to Lily. She looked at him in confusion. "I have some potatoes already, Sirius."

He shook his head. "Could you pass these to Sam? They are her favorite."

Lily gave him a small smile. "I'll give them to her." He nodded. She turned to Sam. "Here you go."

Sam smiled slightly. "Thank you, Lily. These are my favorite."

She shook her head. "Don't thank me. Thank Sirius. He told me to give them to you."

She sighed. "Oh." She leaned back and saw Sirius staring at her. "Thank…uh…thank you for the potatoes, Sirius."

He nodded slowly. "It's not a problem, Sammy. I know how much you love me…them."

She looked away from him. "Well, thank you."

Sirius' shoulders slumped in defeat. He stabbed the potatoes with his fork. "This sucks." He grumbled.

James glared at Sam. "Don't worry, Sirius. You'll get her back." Sirius shrugged in response. "Just give it some time."

He nodded. "You're right. She'll come back eventually."

Chris smiled at Sam. "It's good to have you back."

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Thank you, Chris. It's…uh…it's good to be back."

"Did you meet any cute guys at St. Mungo's?" Lilac asked.

She forced out a laugh while Sirius stared at her. "No, I didn't." He sighed in relief. "I wasn't really looking anyway. I was just focusing on getting better." Sirius had a small smile on his face when she said that. "Plus, even if I did, I couldn't do anything about it." His smile grew. She held up her left hand and wiggled her fingers. "I'm off the market."

The girls, minus Lily, gasped when they saw her engagement ring. "That ring is gorgeous!" Mary exclaimed.

Patty looked at Sirius in surprise. "You have great taste." He shrugged. "I'm surprised."

Sirius smiled at Sam when she looked his way. "Sammy deserves the best. I would give her everything she wanted if I could."

Lilac rolled her eyes. "You won't give her everything she wants."

He stared at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? What won't I give her?"

Sam sighed. "Lilac, please, don't say anything."

She gave her a look. "I'm only saying the truth." She looked at Sirius. "She wants a divorce but you won't give her one!"

The others groaned. Sirius had a pained look on his face. Sam was staring at the table like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Why do you have to start trouble?" Patty grunted. "We were getting along just fine. Why did you have to ruin that?"

Lilac shrugged. "I was just telling the truth."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Who asked you to do that exactly?"

Kevin laughed. "And, we thought that Sam would be the problem!"

Sam looked at him in confusion. "What did you say?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "How could she be the problem? She has barely said a word since she came back!"

"I have spoken!"

Alice shook her head. "Sam, you make us talk. Whenever we ask you a question, you change the subject or just shrug."

Michael rubbed his eyes. "Sam has been through a lot…because of the attack." They looked at him. "Why don't we talk about something else?"

She gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Michael."

Sirius gritted his teeth. He hated that Lilac pointed out to everyone that Sam wanted a divorce but couldn't get one. He hated that Sam wasn't acting like herself. He expected her to yell at him and hit him so they could get back to business as usual but she barely uttered a word. She was being cordial with him and he didn't understand why. He hated that she seemed to be clinging to Michael. The last straw for his patience was when Michael put an arm around her again and whispered in her ear. His heart started pounding and his blood boiled when she let out a tiny laugh. Michael hugged her. "Do you mind getting your hands off of my wife, Lewis?"

They froze. They stared at Sirius with wide eyes. They didn't expect him to start trouble. They were betting on Sam doing that. "They are just talking, Sirius. Calm down." Remus muttered.

He glared at him. "I won't calm down!" He grunted while slamming down his fork. "Why should I?"

Lilac rolled her eyes. "Well, this is a surprise! Sirius is jealous of Sam talking to anyone but him and claiming her as his property yet again!"

Sirius sneered at her. "Why are you talking? What makes you think anyone gives a crap about what you have to say?"

Lily groaned. "Can the two of you just shut up?"

He shook his head. "No, I won't shut up! She should shut up for once!" He lost it when Michael held Sam closer to him. "Get your fucking hands off of her!"

Everyone in the Great Hall stopped talking and stared at them in surprise. Michael rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing anything but comforting my friends when she is obviously upset!"

"I should be comforting her, not you!"

"Well, she doesn't want you to! I don't blame her either! She is probably afraid that you will try to get someone else to attack us if you do!"

James groaned. "That's enough! Would you all shut up and calm down?"

Sirius stood up and pulled Sam away from Michael and off of the bench. She stumbled into him. "She is not your responsibility!"

Sam pulled away from him. "Can everyone just calm down, please? We are making a scene!" She hissed.

Michael glared at Sirius. "Why don't you leave her alone and go sit down? She doesn't want you anywhere near her!"

He growled. "Keep your hands off of her! She is my wife, not yours!"

Her breathing slowed down. She felt everyone's eyes on them. Everything seemed to slow down when she heard them gasp. "Stop it! Please, just stop it!"

Sirius looked at her in surprise. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She shifted uncomfortably. He sneered when she wouldn't answer. "I refuse to let you hang out with him anymore!"

Her head snapped up. "What did you just say?"

He smirked. He knew he hit a button and she was about to explode. "I refuse to let you hang out with Michael anymore!" She growled. "You are my wife and I expect you to obey me!"

Sam forgot that everyone was watching. All she was focused on was her anger. "You don't own me, Black! You can't tell me who I can be friends with!"

James held in a laugh. He knew what Sirius was up to. He wanted the real Sam back and didn't want to deal with the cordial version of her. "Good luck, mate." He muttered.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "There is a ring on your finger that says the contrary, _Black_!"

She shook with anger. "The only reason that ring is still on my finger is because I can't take it off!"

He got in her face and his smirk returned. "That's because you still love me!" She sneered. "And, I love you too! We are married and that's the way it's going to be!"

"You actually married her?" Sarah yelled.

Sam looked at her. "Did he break up with you yet?" She glared at Sam and shook her head. Sirius gulped when Sam glared at him. "That's it! You are going down, Black!"

He rolled his eyes. "What are you going to do?"

She yelled as she tackled him to the ground. She started punching him. "You are a sorry excuse for a man! I can't believe I married you!"

The only sound heard, besides Sam hitting Sirius, was everyone's jaw dropping. They were in shock over what they were seeing and over the news of their marriage. Sirius laughed. "You love me! You are happy that you married me!"

She stood up and pushed her hair off of her face. She narrowed her eyes as he stood up. "How could you marry me when you were still with Sarah?" He opened his mouth but groaned when she slapped him. "What kind of person does that?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It was a mistake! I was going to break up with her at the ball so we could get back together! I never wanted her! I only want you!"

Sarah growled. "How can you say that? You told me on the train that you loved me while we were-!"

His eyes widened when Sam glared at him. "I swear-!" He staggered when she punched him. "Sammy-!"

"You had sex with that slut while you're married to me!"

"I am not a slut!"

There was a scatter of hushed laughter. Sam rolled her eyes. "Who haven't you slept with besides Remus and James?" Sarah blushed and sat down without a word. "Yeah, that's what I thought!" She glared at Sirius. "I can't believe you!"

He growled. "You left me! If I did sleep with her then I had every right to!"

She growled as she pushed him. "I left you for a good reason!"

He pushed her back. "All I know is that you left! You have no right to be angry!"

Sam tried to slap him but he grabbed her wrist. She whimpered. "Ow! That hurts! Sirius, let go!"

Sirius let go. Everyone looked confused. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She held her wrist to her chest. He walked over to her and looked at her wrist. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you, Baby?"

She had tears in her eyes. He put his arms around her and whispered his apologizes into her ear. She pulled away and growled. "All you do is hurt me!"

He paled. "I-I didn't mean to!"

"I-I can't be around you! I want a divorce!"

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Well, you can't get one!"

Sam growled and tackled him to the ground again. They started wrestling and everyone stood up to watch. "I hate you!" She grunted as she punched him. "I can't believe I married you!"

He rolled on top of her. "No matter how many times you say it, it won't stop it from being true! You married me out of your own free will!" She kept slapping him. He tried to stop her. He moved his hand quickly and wound up slapping her across the face. There was a collective gasp heard around the room. A spot of blood appeared out of the corner of her mouth. He sat up. "Sammy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! It was an accident!"

James' eyes widened. "Sirius, what the hell did you just do?"

He looked at him with wide eyes. "It was an accident! I was just trying to make her stop hitting me!"

His eyes narrowed. "You can't hit her!"

Sam glared at James. "Since when do you care?"

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up! I wasn't talking to you!"

She wiped the blood off of her mouth and glared at him. "You two can have each other for all I care!" She kneed Sirius in the groin to get him off of her. She stood up on shaky legs. "Just leave me alone!"

Sirius grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. She fell on top of him and they groaned in unison. They started to wrestle again. "You have got to stop doing that to me!"

She sneered. "It's the only fun I have! Kneeing you in the balls is the greatest thrill of my life!"

He held her down. Her face scrunched up in pain when she felt some of the stitches on her wrist tear. "I'm not talking about that but you should stop doing that too!" She bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain. He didn't realize he was pushing down on her wrists, hard. "You've got to stop running away from me!"

Sam twisted her arms around and groaned in pain. She managed to get on top of him. "You ran away first!" He struggled against her. "You were the one to leave us behind first! It wasn't me that caused all of this! It was you!"

The students parted when Professors Dumbledore, Slughorn, and McGonagall made their way over to them. Sirius looked at Sam closely. "I'm not the one running away now! You are!"

Professor Slughorn pulled Sam off of Sirius. "That's enough of that, you two!"

She fought against him. Professor Dumbledore stood in between them when Sirius tried moving around Professor McGonagall to get back to Sam. "I would like to see the two of you in my office at once!"

Sirius tried to get to her. "Sammy-!"

Her eyes narrowed when he touched her. "Get the hell off of me or so help you, Black!"

Professor McGonagall stared at them in shock when they continued to fight. "Mr. and Mrs. Black!" Sam had a pained expression on her face when she called her that. "You must stop this at once!"

Dumbledore sighed. "The fighting will end immediately!" Sam and Sirius stopped when he raised his voice. "The two of you will come with me while the rest of the students finish their meals!"

They looked down at the ground in shame as they followed him out of the Great Hall. "I'm sorry, sir." They mumbled.

The walk to his office was long and quiet. They watched him sit in his chair behind his desk. He motioned for them to sit. He eyed them closely while they stared at the ground. "The events at dinner were most troubling." They sighed. "You…" He took a deep breath. "The two of you have chosen to be married." Sam inwardly groaned. "You have been through a lot and I do understand the hostility but what occurred in the Great Hall was unacceptable." They sighed. "You must try to get along."

Sirius looked up. "I was trying! She wasn't!"

She gasped. "That's a lie! I was being polite before he lost his temper yet again!"

"Michael was all over you! What did you expect me to do? Did you want me to get you two a room?"

Her lip curled in disgust. "I was upset over seeing S-Severus and about you fighting with Lilac about our joke of a marriage! He was just trying to comfort me!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "It would have been nice if you told me that _he_ was still in school! I didn't have to be caught off guard like that!"

He gritted his teeth. "I would have told you if I thought you would have listened to me for once!"

"If you mentioned that _he_ was still here, I would have!"

"Don't lie! You know you wouldn't have!" She snarled at him. "Your friends could have warned you but they didn't! I'm not the only one to blame!"

Sam glared at him. "You are a possessive jackass!"

Sirius growled. "How am I possessive jackass? Just because I stopped that ass from trying to shag my wife that makes me a possessive jackass?"

She groaned in frustration. "He wasn't trying to shag me!" He rolled his eyes. "Don't you get it? I don't want Michael! I just want to be his friend! That's all I want from him!"

Dumbledore hid his smile. He smiled slowly. "You just want to be his friend?" She nodded. He groaned. "Why the hell were you being so nice to me? The woman I married would have kicked my ass the moment she saw me!"

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" He looked at her in confusion. "Isn't it enough to know that even though I despise the very ground you walk on that I'm still faithful to you?" He shook his head. She let out a sarcastic laugh. "You are unbelievable! I was being polite to you because for once in my life, I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone! I knew I would be in the spotlight because of the attack once I returned but I was hoping to be invisible for a while!" He stared at her in surprise. "I didn't want to be…I didn't want anymore gossip to be about me! I just wanted to ease back into things without any of the usual drama! You ruined that when you told everyone I was your wife!"

"But you are my wife! Why shouldn't everyone know?"

"Weren't you listening to a word I just said? I didn't want anyone to know about what we did! I wanted to be invisible!"

Sirius got in her face. "Are you ashamed to be married to me?"

Sam smirked. "Yes, I am!" They started pushing each other. "You are a selfish prick!"

"You are a selfish bitch!"

Dumbledore had seen enough. "That is quite enough!" They stepped away from each other and stared at him. "Please, sit down." They did as they were told. "This is a troubling situation." They nodded. "You will have to undergo marriage counseling." Sam groaned. "Dr. Roberts is counseling the two of you and he will also be asked to be your marriage counselor."

"Dr. Roberts isn't my counselor anymore, sir."

His eyes widened. "He isn't?" She shook her head. "May I ask who is?"

She nodded. "I chose to continue with my substitute counselor. His name is Dr. Alan Finklebot."

"Why did you change counselors?" Sirius asked. "Is this Dr. Finklebot hotter than your precious Andrew?"

Sam gritted her teeth. "Dr. Finklebot is sixty years old, Sirius!"

"Oh, I didn't know that."

Dumbledore smiled. "Samantha, why did you choose Alan over Andrew?"

She shrugged. "He has helped me a lot more than Andrew ever has. It just made sense to continue with him."

He nodded. "That is a wise choice." She shrugged again. "You will see Alan and Andrew for the marriage counseling." They held in a groan. "Sirius, Andrew is returning earlier than expected. He will inform you when your sessions begin." Sirius nodded in defeat. "Samantha-" His eyes widened when he saw blood on her hands. "Are you alright, Mrs. Black?"

Sam saw where he was looking and sighed when she saw the blood. "I'm fine, sir. My stitches tore open when Sirius and I were fighting."

Sirius gasped. He went over to her and pushed back her sleeves. The bandages on her arms were soaked. "Baby, why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged. "We got in trouble. There wasn't an opportunity for it really." She mumbled.

He pulled off his tie and tied her wrists together. "Sam, you should have said something!"

"I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius caressed her cheek and she winced. "I'm sorry about hitting you. I swear that it was an accident." She nodded slowly. He looked at Dumbledore. "I'm sorry, sir. I have to take her to the hospital wing."

Dumbledore nodded. "You may go." Sirius helped Sam up and held her to him as they walked out of his office. Sam leaned against him. Sirius kissed her temple and tightened his hold on her. Dumbledore smiled when he heard Sirius reassuring her that she would be fine and that he would take care of her. The door closed behind them. "There is hope for them yet."

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Sirius carried Sam into the hospital wing when she started to feel woozy. She was curled up against him. He kissed her forehead. "You are going to be ok, Baby. I'm going to take care of you, ok?" She nodded and groaned. He tightened his hold on her. "Stay with me, Sammy." Her eyes closed. "Baby, open your eyes for me." He set her down on the first bed he saw. "Madam Pomfrey, are you here?" He gulped. 

Madam Pomfrey walked in and gasped. "What happened to her?"

He sighed. "We had a fight-"

She nodded. "I saw." He blushed. "Why is there blood on her hands?"

"She…uh…she had an accident while she was at St. Mungo's. Her stitches were torn during our fight."

Madam Pomfrey walked over to Sam and gasped when she saw where her stitches were. "What…what type of accident did Samantha have?"

He paled. "Well…uh…you see…" She eyed him closely. He groaned. "Does it really matter? All I want to know is if you can help her."

She smiled. "I can help her. Just give me a few minutes and she will be fine." He nodded and sighed when she put the curtain around Sam's bed. He paced as he waited. She moved out from behind the curtain and smiled. "You may see her now."

"Is she ok?"

She nodded. "She is fine, Mr. Black." He smiled in relief. "She didn't faint just because of the loss of blood. She fainted after all of the excitement and because of the loss of blood." He stared at her intently. "Sirius, she is fine. Samantha will be spending the night here. I just want to make sure that her stitches won't tear again and that she gets plenty of rest." He smiled. "You may go."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not leaving her."

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Samantha needs her rest."

"I won't bother her! I just…she needs me right now and I can't leave her. I refuse to leave her alone again." She sighed again. "I promise I won't disturb her, Madam Pomfrey."

She eyed him closely. She knew he wasn't going to go anywhere without Sam. "As long as you don't bother her, you may stay with…your wife."

He beamed at her. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey." She smiled at him. He walked over to Sam. She sat up when she saw him. "You don't have to get up."

Sam sighed. "Can I go now?" He shook his head. "Why not?"

Sirius sat down next to her. "Madam Pomfrey wants you to stay. She wants to make sure that your stitches don't tear again." She groaned. He smiled slightly. "She said I could stay with you."

She looked at him. "You don't have to do that. I'm fine." He shook his head again. "What? I swear that I'm fine now. I don't have to stay here."

"Yes, you do! Madam Pomfrey said so!"

"Since when do you listen to authority figures?"

He laughed and shrugged. "The moment I realized you tore your stitches." She sighed. "I am going to stay with you because I want to make sure you feel better and I don't want you to be alone on your first night back."

"Sirius-"

"We aren't fighting about this, Sammy. You are spending the night here and I'll be right here with you." She sighed in defeat. "Now, let's lie down and try to get some rest."

Sam eyed him closely. "We're sharing a bed?" He smirked and nodded. She rolled her eyes. "Madam Pomfrey agreed to this?"

Sirius gave her an innocent smile. "She insisted upon it. She said it will help you."

"You are such a liar!"

"I'm not lying!"

She got under the covers and groaned when he pulled her closer to him. "Sirius, do you have to be so close?" He nodded. "Why do we have to be so close? You aren't trying to grope me, are you?"

He laughed. "I'll always try to grope you." Her eyes widened. He looked at her in confusion. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. "If we aren't close, I will fall off the bed."

She nodded. "That is true."

"I know you would love to see that but-"

She sighed. "It's fine. Just keep your hands where I can see them."

Sirius smiled when she curled up against him out of habit. He held her close to him and sighed. "I remember the first time I saw you, Sammy. You were following James and helping him with his trunk. I was floored when I saw you. I had to know your name."

Sam looked at him. "Sirius, please, don't do this."

"What am I doing?"

"No matter what you say, I can't-"

He caressed her cheek. "I love you. I loved you from the first moment I saw you." She sighed. "You love me too. I know you still do."

She shook her head. "Please, stop it." He leaned in to kiss her but she moved her head. "Sirius, don't kiss me." His face fell. "I made a promise to my healer…and to myself not to get involved with anyone for a while." He looked at her in surprise. "I don't want to be with anyone. I just want to be left alone."

Sirius leaned in again but she pulled away. She pulled away so much that she fell off of the bed. He heard her groan. His eyes widened. "Are you ok?"

She glared at him. "If you laugh at me, I'll hurt you!"

He helped her up. "I won't laugh at you, Baby." She got back under the covers but had her back to him. "Are you ok?"

Sam nodded. "I'm fine." She turned her head to look at him. "Thank you for helping me up…and for not laughing at me."

Sirius smiled. "It was nothing."

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"Will you let me be invisible for a while?"

His eyebrows furrowed together. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "I just want to ease back into things." He nodded slowly. "I know I will be the center of all gossip for a while because of the attack and because everyone now knows that we got married but I just want to be invisible. I don't want any drama right now. I just want to keep to myself for a bit and know that…"

He sighed. "Sammy, look at me." She looked at him. "Why do you seem so different? You weren't gone long."

She shrugged. "Ever since the attack and…I had an…uh…accident while I was at St. Mungo's." He sighed. "I just feel like I'm different now. I don't feel like I belong anymore."

Sirius tightened his hold on her. "You belong here, Sammy. You belong with me."

Sam sighed. "Will you let go?"

"Am I holding you too tight?"

She shook her head. "I'm not talking about that." He nodded. "I meant…will you let me go long enough so I can be invisible? I just need to adjust to everything. I just need everything to calm down so I can figure everything out."

He was glad that she wasn't looking at him because he looked like he was in pain. "Is that what you want?" She nodded. "I want to give you anything you want." She turned back to look at him. "I'll give you the space you need. I'll try my best to give you the space you need."

Sam smiled slightly. "Thank you, Sirius."

"Does this mean that you are going to continue to be polite to me?" She let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "That sucks!" She looked at him in confusion. "Won't you even hit me?"

"You're crazy!"

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not crazy. When you hit me, I know you care."

She rolled her eyes. "You know I care when I hit you?" He nodded. "Do you…want me to hit you?" He nodded eagerly. She laughed lightly. "I'll hit you when you piss me off."

He smiled. "I'll be hit all day long!" She laughed again. His smile grew. "It's good to hear you laugh."

She shrugged. "You make me laugh." He snuggled into her. "You make me laugh on occasion."

Sirius kissed her temple. "I make you laugh a lot more than that." She sighed. "Why don't we go to sleep? It's been a long day."

Sam nodded. "Ok, we can go to sleep."

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Sirius watched her as she slept. He held onto her tightly. He kissed her forehead and sighed. Sam snuggled closer to him in her sleep. He smiled. "You still love me, don't you?" She sighed. "I know you still do. When we were fighting, I felt it. You wouldn't have fought so hard if you didn't." 

Sam turned away from him. He smelled her hair. "It still smells like lavender." He sighed again. He kissed her temple. "I remember when I first saw you, Sammy. You looked so excited to be there. You had this look of pure joy on your face as you looked around the platform." He slid his arm across her waist. "I had to know who you were. I had to know your name." She licked her lips. "When I saw you in the compartment with James, I almost ran away because I was scared to meet you. I was scared that you would hate me on sight." He laughed. "I was very wrong about that. You loved me before you even saw me." He pushed her shirt up so he could rest his hand on her stomach. Her skin was warm. "You knew nothing about me but you loved me anyway." He kissed her neck lightly. "No matter what happened or what I said, you still loved me. You loved me despite my flaws." He kissed her cheek. "I did love you, Sammy. I've always loved you. I…I was just too scared to let anyone know. James was dead set against letting you go out with anyone especially one of his friends that I couldn't tell him how I felt."

He took a deep breath and pulled her closer when she inched away from him and almost fell off the bed. "I pushed my feelings for you down so far that I almost forgot about them. I knew I cared about you. I've always cared about you…but I couldn't let myself love you as more than a friend. When you and Remus started going out, I was upset. I couldn't understand how James would let him go out with you. He told me he would never let your date one of us but he let you and Remus be together." He groaned. "It should have been me! I should have been the one with you, not Remus." He shook his head. "That doesn't matter anymore. There's no way I can change the past. I just know that we should have always been together and you know it too." He caressed her cheek. "Sammy, I know I made a lot of mistakes when it came to us but I always meant well. If I could take back all those times I hurt you, I would. I would change everything except being with you and marrying you." He smiled. "You make me whole, Sammy." She sighed again. "I know this is the only way I'd be able to tell you this without you interrupting me but I wish you could hear me. I wish you'd know how much I love and want you." She shifted and tried to move away again. He sighed in defeat. "Why do you always try to run away from me? What's so wrong about coming to me?"

Sirius groaned before rolling over. He sighed again. His back was against hers. "Why do you have to be invisible? I don't want you to be invisible. I don't want you to need space. I just want you to be with me." Sam rolled over. She pressed against him. He smiled when she put her arm around his waist. "You still love me, Sammy." He put his hand over hers. "We aren't over. We aren't even close to being over." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. "There is still hope for us, Sammy. I just know there is."


	66. Chapter 65: Judgment

Author's Note: I'm sorry. I didn't proof again. I'm just so tired and I wanted this chapter out before Thanksgiving. I hope you like it. Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving!

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Chapter 65: Judgment.

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Dumbledore walked into the hospital wing and his eyebrow rose in question when he saw Sam and Sirius sleeping on top of each other. A smile appeared on his face. "This is most interesting." He muttered.

Madam Pomfrey walked over to him. "Professor Dumbledore, what are you doing here?"

He smiled at her. "I have come to see how Samantha is doing, Poppy." She nodded. "I did not expect to see Sirius with her."

She sighed. "He refused to leave her alone. I asked him to leave but he was convinced that she needed him."

He held up a hand to stop her. "It is alright, Poppy. Samantha did need him even if she did not realize it herself." She eyed him closely. He smiled again. "They do look peaceful."

Madam Pomfrey nodded slowly. "Yes, they do." She sighed. "Samantha…how did she get those stitches? What type of accident was she in?"

Dumbledore watched as Sirius and Sam tightened their hold on each other. He stepped closer to them. "Her injuries are mysterious." Madam Pomfrey sighed. Sirius stretched and smiled when he saw that Sam was on top of him and holding on for dear life. He kissed her forehead. "Good morning, Mr. Black."

Sirius' eyes widened before looking up at Dumbledore. "G-Good morning, sir." Dumbledore eyed him closely. "I can explain why I'm here instead of my room. Sam needed me to stay even though she would never admit it and-"

"It's alright, Sirius. I do not mind that you stayed to take care of your wife." He sighed in relief. "How is she doing?"

He smiled. "She said she would still hit me."

He looked at him in confusion. "I beg your pardon?"

Sirius laughed lightly. "She hits me and that's how I know she still cares. Mrs. Potter throws shoes at Mr. Potter and that's how he knows she still cares. Sammy throws punches and that's how I know she cares."

Dumbledore eyed him closely and had an amused look on his face. "That is most amusing."

He smiled. "She still cares for me. She said she would only hit me when I annoy her." He laughed. "I always annoy her!"

He smiled. "I wish you luck with…annoying your wife." Sirius' smile grew. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I have a feeling that you will need all the rest you can get."

Sirius yawned. "Thank you, sir."

"You are most welcome, Mr. Black."

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Sam stretched and yawned. She snuggled closer to him and tightened her hold on him. Sirius held her to him and smiled. He rubbed her back. She sighed in content as she took in his scent. Her eyes opened slowly. Her eyes widened when she realized how close she was to him. She sat up and sighed again. Sam looked back at him when she felt him rub her back. Sirius smiled at her. "Good morning, Sammy."

She gave him a small smile. "Good morning, Sirius."

Sirius sat up and stared at her. "How are your stitches?" She shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. "How are you feeling?"

Sam shrugged again. "I'm fine. How are you?"

He nodded. "I'm alright."

Madam Pomfrey walked in and smiled. "Good, the two of you are up." They looked away from each other. "Let me check your stitches and then, you may go." Sam took a deep breath as she checked her wrists. "These are odd injuries, Mrs. Black." Sam shifted uncomfortably again. "How did you get them?"

She sighed. "It was just me being a klutz again. It's no big deal." Madam Pomfrey eyed her closely. "Can I go now? I need to get ready for class."

"You may go."

Sam jumped up off the bed. "Thank you."

She stared after her as she practically ran out of the room. "Mr. Black, take care of your wife. Be sure that her stitches don't tear again."

Sirius nodded. "I will." He ran after Sam. He touched her arm when he caught up with her. "Are you ok?"

Sam sighed. "I'm fine. I just…"

He made her look at him. "What is it, Baby?" She sighed again. "You know you can tell me anything."

She shrugged. "I just had to get out of there." She let out a tiny laugh. "I've spent too much time in hospitals this year. I just want…I don't want to be in them for a while."

Sirius smiled. "I understand that." She nodded. He hugged her for a moment but pulled away when she stiffened. "I'm sorry. I just thought you needed-"

"Its fine, Sirius." He had a surprised look on his face. She laughed lightly. "Why do you look so surprised? I told you that I would continue to be polite."

He made a face and she laughed again. "I know." He stared at her with a smirk. "You also said that you would hit me whenever I pissed you off."

She eyed him closely. "That is true."

An evil smile appeared on his face. "You look fat in those jeans."

She smiled. "Nice try, Sirius. It won't work."

He groaned. "This sucks!"

Sam walked away and into the common room. "Where have you been?" She jumped and looked around. James glared at her. "You've been gone all night! Lily was worried about you!" Her head cocked to the side in confusion. "What did you do to Sirius?"

Sirius ran into the common room and hugged her from behind. She staggered under the impact of his body slamming into hers. "Ok, you look really fat in those jeans." He whispered in her ear. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. He groaned. "I'm not pissing you off yet?" She gave him a look and nodded towards where James was standing. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion before looking over. He gave James a surprised smile. "Hey Prongs! What are you doing up so early?"

James stared at them in disbelief. Sam eased away from Sirius and sighed when he put his arm around her shoulders and wouldn't let go of her. He eyed his sister closely as she sighed again and just left Sirius' arm stay around her. "What happened last night, Padfoot? Where were the two of you? Lily was so worried about _her_ that she asked me where you were in case the two of you were together."

He shrugged. "We were sent to Dumbledore's office and then to the hospital wing."

"Why did you go there?"

Sirius looked at him oddly. "When did you become our mother?"

Sam bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. James glared at him. "Just tell me why you went to the hospital wing. Did _she_ hurt you again?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "No, Sam didn't hurt me…well…the last punch did sting a bit but I'm fine now." She gave him an apologetic smile. He kissed her temple and squeezed her to him. "It's ok, Baby." He looked back at James. "We had to go to the hospital wing because during our fight, Sam stitches tore and she started bleeding while we were in Dumbledore's office."

He looked at her in confusion. "When did you get stitches?"

She pulled on Sirius' arm when he opened his mouth to speak for her. He looked down at her in confusion. "What is it?" She tugged on his shirt. He smiled. "Do you want to have sex?" She sneered at him before kicking his shin. He groaned. James looked at them like they were crazy. Sirius rubbed his shin and smirked. "I got you to hit me." She hid her smile. He caressed her cheek. "Do you want to speak in private?" Sam smiled slowly and nodded. He looked at him. "We'll be right back." James nodded slowly. They walked over to the corner of the room. "What do you want to talk about?"

Sam sighed. "Don't…please, don't tell James anymore about my stitches."

"Why shouldn't I? You got them because of one of your klutz moments, right?"

The way he said that and the way he was looking at her made her feel uncomfortable. "T-That's right." He sighed. "Please, don't tell him. I just…don't-"

He smiled. "I won't talk about the stitches with him anymore." She smiled. "Can I give you a hug?"

"What?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Never mind." She sighed and pulled him back when he went to walk away. He looked at her in surprise when she went to put her arms around him but stopped short. He smiled when he pulled her to him. His eyes closed and his smile grew when he held her. She tightened her arms around his neck for a brief moment before moving away. He caressed her cheek. "Thank you for that."

She shrugged. "It was nothing."

"It was something to me."

"I didn't mean it like that, Sirius."

He nodded. "I know, Sam. I know."

Sam took a deep breath. "Will you…keep your promise to me?"

Sirius sighed. "What are you talking about?"

She shook her head. "Don't you remember what we talked about last night?"

He held in a groan. He hoped that she forgot about that. He nodded slowly. "I…I remember, Sammy." She stared at him. "Will I still be able to talk to you?"

"What will we talk about?"

He shrugged. "I don't know…but if I need to talk to you, will you let me?"

She sighed. "If you need to talk to me then you can."

Sirius smiled. "Then I will let you be invisible." She smiled slightly. "You should get ready for class. You don't want to be late for your first day back, do you?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I don't." She gave him a small smile. "Thank you for promising to keep your promise." He pulled her into a hug when she tried to walk away. She let him hold her for a moment before pulling away. She stared at him closely. "What was that for?"

He shrugged. "I just had a feeling that I wouldn't be allowed to touch you for a while so I wanted one more hug before I let you go…to be invisible."

She sighed. "I see." He stared at her intently. "I should go get ready for class." He nodded slowly. "Do you promise not to talk to him about my…accident?"

Sirius smiled slightly. "I promise." He hugged her again before letting her go. She gave him another small smile before running past James and up to her dorm. He walked over to James. He was eyeing him closely. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

James rolled his eyes. "What happened last night?"

He groaned. "Are you still on about that?" He nodded. "Nothing happened. We went to Dumbledore's office. He ordered us to undergo marriage counseling to keep the peace and then, I had to take Sam to the hospital wing. That's what happened."

"Why did she have to go to the hospital wing?"

"During our fight, her stitches popped. She started bleeding." James gulped. "She didn't say anything because she doesn't want anyone to know how she got them. She doesn't even want me to know. So, I took her to see Madam Pomfrey. She said that she wanted Sam to stay the night just in case her stitches popped again and I refused to leave. She needed me…even though she would never admit it out loud."

He was pale. "How…how did she get those stitches?"

He glared at him. "I told you how she got them." James looked away from him. "I realized something wonderful while Sam was sleeping."

James stared at him in confusion. "What did you realize?"

Sirius smiled. "We aren't over. We are far from over."

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Sam sat in her usual seat. She kept her head down and did her best to ignore the whispers. She knew what they were whispering about. She just didn't want to acknowledge it. She was going to do everything in her power to become invisible like she planned. She wanted to deal with what she was going through with as little drama and gossip as possible.

Her friends were talking around her. Normally, she would have talked with them but things were different now. She was different now. She still felt out of place. She knew it would take some time for her to get back into the swing of things. Alan warned her that she would feel like an outsider for a while but she would find her way back to herself. He was going to help her get back to who she really was and he would help her figure out all the missing pieces of her true self.

She took a deep breath as she looked out the window. She wished that things were back to normal already. She hated feeling like she couldn't relate to anyone anymore. She hated that it felt like she couldn't even relate to Lily. She felt so uncomfortable when her friends would talk to her. She loved them to death but she wished that they would stop trying so hard to include her. She knew that because of the attack and the attempt she made on her own life that she would feel different. She knew this but it didn't make things easier.

A part of her wished she succeeded with her attempt so she wouldn't have to feel this way. Another part of her wished that she was able to fade into the background for a little while without any trouble but with the strong gossip going around school about her and Sirius, she knew that her wish would be hard to obtain. At least it would be for a while, but she was willing to do her best to make that happen.

Professor McGonagall walked in and everyone quieted down. Sam continued to stare out the window and didn't seem to realize that the lesson began. She was lost in thought and didn't hear Professor McGonagall calling her name. Alice nudged her in the side. She jumped and stared at Alice in confusion. "Sam, Professor McGonagall has been calling you for the past couple of minutes!"

Sam blushed and looked up. Professor McGonagall eyed her closely. "Am I interrupting you, Samantha?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Professor."

"Mrs. Black-!"

"Potter."

Her eyebrow rose in question. "Excuse me?"

She took a deep breath. She felt everyone staring at them. "My name is Samantha Potter."

Professor McGonagall gave her a sad smile. "You were married over holiday, were you not?" Sam's face went to stone and she nodded. "Was it a legal marriage?" She gritted her teeth and nodded again. "Then, your name isn't Potter anymore. Your name is Black now." Sam glared at the table. "Now, are you able to pay attention, Mrs. Black?"

Everyone was staring at them with interest. They were expecting Sam to explode but they were disappointed when Sam just nodded. "Yes, I am. I apologize, Professor McGonagall."

She nodded slowly. "Very good."

The class continued and Sam, who would usually try and answer all the questions, remained quiet unless she was asked a question. "Sam!"

Sam's eyebrows furrowed together and looked over her shoulder. She held in a groan when she saw that it was Carol Masters, Sarah's best friend, calling her. "What do you want, Carol?"

Carol pushed back a strand of her curly blonde hair behind her ear and smirked. "Congratulations on the wedding." She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and nodded. "When's the baby due?"

Alice looked at Sam and saw that they shared the same confused look. Alice eyed Carol closely. "What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes. "Save it, Alice! Everyone knows that the only reason why Sirius would marry someone like Sam is if he got her pregnant!" She hissed.

"That's not true!" Sam hissed.

"So, come on, Sam!" Carol yelled. "Tell us when the baby is due!"

Everyone gasped and stared at Sam in shock. She couldn't breathe. Even Professor McGonagall was staring at her in shock. Lilac sneered at Carol. "Sam isn't pregnant! Why do you have to start trouble?"

Carol glared at her. "She stole my best friend's boyfriend!"

Mary rolled her eyes. "That skank stole Sam's boyfriend first!"

"That's enough!" Professor McGonagall yelled. "We will have order at once!"

"When's the baby due, _Mrs. Black_?" A group of Slytherin girls asked.

Sam's face was hidden behind her hair. She was beyond angry and upset. She wanted to punch Carol in the face and go have a good cry but she wouldn't do it. They wanted a reaction out of her but they weren't going to get one. Professor McGonagall stared at the top of her head and sighed. "This is absurd!" Everyone, but Sam, looked at her. "If this is the only way to get order in my classroom then so be it!" They stared at her in confusion. "Mrs. Black, is the reason why you married Sirius because you are pregnant?" Sam shook her head. "Are you pregnant?"

She looked up after wiping her eyes. She cleared her throat. "No, I'm not."

She looked around the room. "Did everyone hear her?" They nodded. "If I hear even a hint of this rumor again, I will give detention to those who deserve it!" She said while looking at the Slytherin girls and Carol. "Now, let us get back to our lesson!" The class continued and soon it was over. The students started to leave. Sam was packing up her supplies while her friends waited for her. "Mrs. Black, I'd like to speak with you."

Sam sighed before nodding. She waved her friends off. "I'll meet you at lunch." She watched them leave and grabbed her bag before walking over to her desk. "Yes?"

Professor McGonagall sighed. "How are you?"

She looked at her oddly. "I'm fine." Her eyebrow rose in question. "Are you asking because everyone is whispering about me and how they said I was pregnant?" She nodded slowly. "I'm used to being the topic of gossip and I can admit that it is mostly my fault for that happening but I am fine."

She nodded again. "I would like to apologize for asking about your marriage." She shrugged in response. "Samantha, I can not begin to tell you how to handle this situation but everything will work out."

Sam looked down at the ground. "I knew I would be the center of the gossip because of the attack when I returned. I knew this but…I didn't want anyone to know about my marriage, Professor." She sighed. "I just wanted to be invisible for a while but they are making it impossible for me to do that. I hear whispers everywhere I go…" She sighed again. "Why won't they let me be invisible?" She whispered.

Professor McGonagall stood up and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Samantha, I know this will be tough for you but I have known you since your first year and I know you are a strong young woman. They will try to hurt you but I know you won't let them. You are stronger than they give you credit for. You are stronger than those rumors."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you, Professor." She smiled in response. "I mean it. Thank you. I know with how I've acted this year that it may seem like I don't appreciate you but I do. I just thought you would like to know that."

She smiled. "Thank you, Samantha. I understand that you were just starting to go through your tough time and you lashed out…but I am glad to see you are handling yourself with maturity this time." Sam smiled. "You should be on your way to lunch now. There is no time like the present to stop the rumors."

She laughed lightly. "No matter what happens, the rumors will still spread but I promise I won't let them get to me…or I'll try really hard."

She smiled. "That is good to know."

"Thanks again, Professor."

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Sirius looked around the table as he ate and sighed. "Alice?" She looked away from Frank and stared at him. "Where is Sam? Wasn't she hungry?"

Alice sighed. "She had to stay after class."

James rolled his eyes. "What did she do now?"

Lilac shook her head. "She didn't do anything. She acted very mature while everyone else was being douche bags to her."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

Mary groaned. "It was all Carol Masters fault!"

Patty shook her head. "That's not true!"

Sirius groaned. "Will someone tell us what happened, please?"

Alice nodded. "I will." They turned to look at her. "All day long Sam has had to deal with people whispering about her. She was ignoring it. We were really surprised by how mature she was acting about it." The girls nodded in agreement. "Well, we were in Transfigurations when it happened. Sam was keeping to herself and wasn't really talking. Professor McGonagall was trying to get her attention but she was too busy day dreaming or whatever." Sirius motioned for her to continue. "They had a slight disagreement about her last name."

Lily looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

She shrugged. "Sam said her last name was still Potter but McGonagall said since she was legally married that her name is now Black." Sirius glared at the table. "Everyone thought Sam would go off on her but she didn't!" They gasped in surprise. "I know! We were shocked too!" They nodded. "Well, Carol called out to Sam to tell her congratulations on the wedding." They rolled their eyes. "Then that bitch-" Alice shook her head. "She asked when the baby was due."

"What?" They asked in unison.

Alice sighed. "Sam and I were confused too. Carol said that the only reason why Sirius would marry someone like her is if she was pregnant!"

Sirius gritted his teeth. "That's not true!"

She smiled at him. "That's what Sam told her." He smiled. "Well, Carol started asking her out loud why she won't tell her when the baby is due." They groaned. "Everyone was surprised and stared at her. Sam looked like she wanted to punch Carol and then cry." Sirius sighed. "Well, McGonagall was trying to get the class to leave her alone but a group of Slytherins said 'when's the baby due, Mrs. Black'? Sam didn't say a word. She just looked down at our desk and ignored them."

James looked at her in surprise. "That doesn't sound like Sammy. She would have broken their noses without a second thought."

Alice nodded eagerly. "We thought so too but she didn't do or say a thing!" She took a sip of pumpkin juice. "McGonagall was pissed and asked Sam if she married Sirius because of the pregnancy. Sam shook her head and then, McGonagall asked Sam if she was pregnant! Sam finally spoke and said she wasn't. McGonagall said if she heard any rumors about Sam being pregnant that she would give detention to Carol and the Slytherins because she would know that they started it. She asked Sam to stay after class and Sam told us she would meet us here."

Lily sighed. "I can't believe how everyone is acting like a bunch of assholes towards her! This isn't fair to her! First, the attack happened and now, this is happening? This is bullshit! If I was Sam, I'd knock their teeth out!"

James sighed. "I can't believe that Sam _didn't _knock their teeth out."

Remus shook his head. "I don't understand why everyone is treating her like this." He looked at Sirius. "Has anyone treated you differently?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, they haven't. I mean, Sam is being polite to me and that is very different but everyone else has been normal."

Lilac groaned. "That's what I don't get! They are treating her like crap but treat him like a god even though they know what he did!"

Sam walked in and saw how everyone stared at her. She sighed as she sat down. She gritted her teeth when she heard some people cry like a baby. The group of Slytherin girls waved at her. She glared at them. "_Here comes the bride, here comes the bride, all dressed in black because she got knocked up_!" They sang at the top of their lungs.

Her friends yelled insults at them as the entire hall howled with laughter. Sam held her head up high as she ate in silence. Sirius traded seats with Frank so he could sit next to her. "Isn't that sweet?" Carol exclaimed. "Sirius is comforting the mother of his child!"

Everyone, but their friends, laughed. Sirius growled. "Sam isn't pregnant!" He yelled. They continued to laugh. He looked at her. "I'm sorry about this, Sammy."

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Sirius. They can say what they want."

Sirius put an arm around her shoulders and was surprised when she didn't pull away but he wasn't surprised when she tensed up. "They are assholes anyway. They don't matter."

Chris yelled another insult at the idiots that were still laughing. "Sam, are you ok?" She nodded and continued to eat. "Well, don't worry. They will stop soon enough."

Sam nodded slowly. "I'm sure they will but it doesn't matter."

Lily looked at her like she had never seen her before. "Aren't you mad?" She shrugged. "Don't you want to hit them?"

She shrugged again. "Yes, I do but what will that change?"

They were surprised by what she said. They couldn't believe that this was the same Sam they've known for years. Carol and Sarah walked over to them and they groaned. She gritted her teeth when Carol sat down next to her and when Sarah started rubbing Sirius' shoulders. "Hey Baby." Sarah whispered in his ear while smirking at Sam. "Would you like to go to the astronomy tower with me tonight?"

They glared at her. Sirius pushed her away. "Don't touch me, Sarah! I don't want to catch anything from you!"

Carol smirked. "So, how is the baby doing, Sam?"

Sam sighed. "Go away, Carol."

Sarah laughed. "Those are tough words, Sam."

Lily glared at her. "You better watch yourself, Sarah. Sam might not hit you but I will!"

Carol rolled her eyes. "Shove off, Evans! Everyone knows Sam won't touch anyone in her condition." Sam was breathing heavily. Her friends smiled because they knew Sam was about to blow. "What are you going to name the baby, Sammy?"

Sam was fuming. "Don't call me that! My friends call me that and you are no friend of mine!"

They smiled. It was only a matter of time before she punched one of them or both of them. Sarah rolled her eyes. "Are you playing nice so you won't hurt the baby?" She smirked at Sam. "That's the only reason why anyone would marry someone like you!"

Sirius growled. "No, that's the only way you would get married!" Sarah looked at him in shock. "Sam and I got married because we love each other!"

Carol glared at him. "You…Sam is just another notch in your bedpost! She probably tricked you into marrying her! Didn't you, _Sammy_?"

Sam slammed her hands down on the table. They stared at her in anticipation. They knew Carol and Sarah went too far and Sam was going to show them how far they went. "That's it!" She growled. "You want a reaction out of me? Well, you are going to get one!" She pushed Carol off the bench and stood up to face Sarah. Sarah kept touching Sirius and wouldn't stop even when he kept pushing her away. Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her away from him. "Get your slutty hands off of my husband!" Everyone, including Sirius, was staring at her in shock. The students crowded around them when they heard Sam yell. "He is my husband, not yours!"

"He only married you because you tricked him!" Sarah yelled.

Carol smirked at her as she stood up. "Why are you so mad at us, _Sammy_? We are just telling the truth! He never loved you! That's why he left you for Sarah! He is still with Sarah even though he married you!"

They watched Sam with eager eyes. Sam growled as she punched Carol in the nose. She smiled in triumph when she heard and felt her nose break. "I warned you that you would get a reaction out of me!"

Her friends cheered her on. They were beyond proud of her. "You bitch!" Carol growled. "You broke my nose!"

"Yes, I did! And, I loved every second of it!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah asked as she bent down to take care of her friend. "She was just telling the truth! Sirius loves me, not you! Somehow, you tricked him into marrying you! You tried to take him away from me but we are still together!"

Sam looked at Sirius. "Did you break up with her yet?" He sighed and shook his head. "Do…do you want to break up with her?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, I do. I've just kept forgetting to do it." She looked at him in disbelief. "I'm being honest, Sammy. I don't want her." He looked at Sarah. "I don't want you." He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "The only reason why I was with Sarah was because I had nothing better to do! I don't want her! I never did! She is trash and I'm done dumpster diving!"

Everyone laughed. Sarah pushed Sam. "What did you do to him? He loved me before you got your hooks into him! You took him away from me!"

Sam's eyes narrowed into thin slits before she punched her in the nose. "You took him away from me first!" Sarah held her nose and glared at her. Sam thrust her left hand in her face. "Do you see these rings, Sarah? Do you see them?" Sarah nodded. "Sirius gave them to me of his own free will! He gave them to me because he cares about me!" Sirius stared at her in surprise. "He would have never given them to you, Sarah!" Sarah growled. "We got married because we care about each other, not because of any pregnancy! I am not pregnant!" Sam sighed. "I care about him!" Sirius beamed at James. "He cares about me! The only reason we are having problems is because of me! I am having trouble because of the attack that happened during the ball and Sirius understands that!" She put an arm around Sirius' waist loosely and looked at him. "I married him because I care about him and no matter what I'm going through or how I push him away, he will stand by me." Sirius kissed her. Her eyes widened but instead of pushing him away, she smiled. "He would have never married you, Sarah. He cares about me and I know he always will!"

Sirius was practically giddy. "Yes, I will!" He kissed her lips again. "I never loved you, Sarah. I was just bored and killing time until Sam came back to me."

Sarah pouted. "He would only marry you if you pregnant!"

Sam growled. "No, he wouldn't!" She glared at her. "I was trying to be mature about this but you keep pushing me and now, I'm pushing back. I'm sorry about this but you asked for it." Sarah looked confused. "Can everyone hear me?" They nodded. "Over holiday, I learned something about Sarah." They stared at her closely. "She says that someone would only marry me because I got pregnant but that's not true! That's the only reason why someone would marry her!" Sarah's eyes widened. Sam's friends were happy and giddy that Sam was finally fighting back. "Sarah got pregnant last year and was forced to get married!" They gasped before laughing. Sarah looked horrified. "She gave up her baby so she could continue to whore around Hogwarts!" They howled with laughter. "She had a beautiful daughter." She looked at Sarah. "You do remember that you had a daughter, don't you?" Sarah snarled at her. "Anna, her daughter, held onto me like I was her mother! We all know that I would be a hell of an improvement as her mother! Sarah was the one who got married because she was pregnant, not me! So, instead of judging me, judge her!"

The entire hall was laughing and cheering Sam on. Carol grabbed Sam's arm. "You are such a bitch!" She clawed Sam's arm and tire her stitches. Sam yelped in pain. "I'll make you pay for this!"

Sam punched her again before clutching her arm. Carol groaned in pain. "She deserved it! She knew better than to push me but she did it anyway!"

"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall yelled. Sirius pulled Sam away from the girls and closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She gave him an awkward smile. Professor McGonagall glared at Carol and Sarah. "I warned you about spreading rumors!"

"She broke our noses!" They yelled.

She shook her head. "You provoked her! Samantha was defending herself!" She looked at the Slytherin girls and at Carol and Sarah. "I warned all of you about spreading rumors! You all will get a week's worth of detention and fifteen points taken from your houses…each!" The other students groaned and started yelling at them. "Take yourselves to the hospital wing at once!" Sarah and Carol got up slowly and left the hall. Professor McGonagall turned to Sam. "Hitting is never an answer." Sam sighed and nodded slowly. "But you were defending yourself. You will not be receiving a detention."

Sirius hugged Sam tightly. "That was wonderful! You were brilliant!"

Her friends cheered her on. She smiled. "Thank you." She looked at Sirius. "Carol tore my stitches. Can you take me to the hospital wing?"

He looked surprised as hell. "You…you really want me to take you?" She nodded. He smiled and grabbed her bag. "Let's go." He wrapped a protective arm around and smiled when she held onto him. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed. "I'm angry as hell."

"I'll say! You broke their noses and told everyone about Sarah!"

Sam shook her head. "They did piss me off but I'm angry with myself!"

He looked at her closely. "Why are you angry with yourself?"

"I took their bait! They wanted a reaction out of me and they got one! I was trying to be mature about it but-"

Sirius stopped her. He kissed her and smiled. Sam sighed. "There is a difference between being mature and being a doormat. You were being mature about it but they took that as you being weak. Yes, you lost your temper but they deserved it! They pushed you because they thought you wouldn't fight back. They were wrong and you defended yourself! That's all that matters in the end, Sam." She looked at him closely. "You fought back. You did the right thing. They were out of line. You showed them that. You can go back to being mature now."

She smiled. "Thank you for that, Sirius." He kissed her. She gave him an awkward smile. They smiled at Sarah and Carol. They sat down on the bed after Madam Pomfrey patched her up. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "I wanted to thank you." He looked confused. She sighed. "Thank you for staying with me last night. I would have never admitted it but I did need you there."

A wide smile appeared on his face. "It was nothing, Sammy." She made to hug him but stopped herself. He saw how much she was struggling with herself. He touched her cheek. "It's ok, Sammy." She looked at him closely. "I know you are having trouble but it's going to be fine." She smiled slowly. He pulled her into a gentle hug. He sighed in relief when she held onto him. They held onto each other for a moment before she pulled away. She looked overwhelmed. He smiled. "Let's go. I'll walk you to class."

Sam shook her head. "You don't have to do that, Sirius."

"I want to."

She stood up and stiffened when he touched her hand. He stared at her for a moment before he smiled when she let him hold her hand. He held her bag as they walked down the hall. She took a deep breath when he put his arm around her again. She was used to him holding her but she was uncomfortable now. "Sirius, thank you for taking me to the hospital wing again."

Sirius smiled at her. "Thank you for asking me to take you." She shrugged. They stopped in front of her class. People that passed by congratulated Sam on going off on Sarah and Carol. Sirius saw how she faked a smile and nodded. He caressed her cheek. "Don't worry so much, Sammy." She looked at him in surprise. "You did a good thing. Now, people will stop trying to mess with you." She nodded slowly. He kissed her and she stiffened. "Can I ask you something?" He asked with a sigh. She nodded again. "Did you mean what you said to Sarah?" She looked confused. "The reason you gave her for us getting married, did you mean it?" She sighed. He held her face in his hands. "Sammy, did you tell her the truth when you said that you married me because you love me?"

Sam sighed before nodding. "Yes, I did marry you because…" She gulped. "I did marry you for that reason." He smiled. "I wouldn't have married you for any other reason than that."

He beamed at her. He picked her up and held her tightly. "I love you, Sammy." She nodded. He set her down. "I know you can't say it yet but you will be able to."

She sighed again. "Sirius, can we talk?"

Sirius nodded after he kissed her. "Yes, we can. What do you want to talk about?"

Sam shook her head. "No, I didn't mean now. Can we talk after classes?"

He nodded again. "Of course we can. We can talk in my room if you want it to be private." She looked uncomfortable. He smiled. "I promise that we will just talk, ok? I won't try anything. Well, I might but that should be expected." She laughed lightly. He kissed her again. "I love that you are laughing."

She shrugged. "I told you that you make me laugh…on occasion."

Sirius pulled her to him. "I always make you laugh." She smiled and shrugged. He handed over her bag. "I better get to class." She nodded. He kissed her twice before holding her and trying to deepen the kiss. Her eyes widened and she pushed him away. "What's wrong?"

Sam had a pained look on her face. "I can't…I just…"

He nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry I pushed you." She sighed. He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I'll see you later, Sammy. We'll talk later!"

She stared after him. "I'll see you later, Sirius."

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Sirius walked up to Sam as she came out of her last class. He grabbed her hand and kissed her. Sam gave him an awkward smile. He put his arm around her shoulders and he smiled when she put her arm around his waist loosely. They walked back to the common room and up the stairs to his room. He laid down on his bed and reached for her. Her eyebrow rose and he laughed as he sat up. "I was just joking around." She nodded. He patted the spot next to him on the bed and she sat down. He rubbed her back but stopped when she pulled away. He gave her an odd look. "What did you want to talk about?"

Sam looked down at the ground. "Well, I wanted to thank you for…taking care of me last night and this afternoon." He nodded slowly. "I really appreciate that." He smiled at her. She sighed. "This…today was a really hard day for me and it meant a lot that you were there by my side." He moved closer to her. "I'm sure that it was hard for you to break up with Sarah-"

He laughed. "No, it wasn't! It was the best part of my day!" She smiled at him. He leaned in close to her. "Kissing you again was better than all that." She moved away from him. He sighed. "Sam, what's wrong?" She shook her head. He caressed her cheek. "You can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?" She sighed and nodded. He moved as close to her as he possibly could and put an arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder out of habit. "What…how was your day?"

She shrugged. "It was…annoying." He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when she continued to speak. "I knew it would be hard to come back after everything but I didn't know it would be this hard." He blinked in surprise. He didn't expect this. She was willingly telling him how she felt. "I feel so different. I…it feels like I can't relate to anyone." She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I can't even relate to Lily. Do you understand how much that kills me? She is my best friend! I tell her everything and now, when I look at her, I don't know what to say to her. I've been ignoring everyone, especially her, because I just feel so out of place. I don't feel like I belong anymore."

Sirius was floored. "Did…did you talk to Remus about this?" She looked at him in confusion. "Did he tell you to tell me about this?"

"I…you are the only one I've talked to about this. You are the first person I went to." He smiled. "Why are you asking about Remus?"

He shook his head. "Never mind that." She nodded slowly. He hugged her. "Sammy, it's understandable why you are feeling this way. A lot has happened and you have to deal with people being assholes to you. You will be back to normal soon."

Her chin trembled. "But it's Lily!" He tightened his hold on her when she started to cry. "I never imagined that I would have trouble talking with her! I thought I wouldn't be able to even look at you but here I am, crying on your shoulder!" He smiled. "I…feel uncomfortable. I feel so awkward around everyone. I knew that things would be different when I came back but I didn't expect things to be so different with Lily!" He sighed as he rubbed her back. "How would you feel if you couldn't talk to James anymore? How would you feel if you were incapable of talking to your best friend, the person you talk to about everything?"

Sirius sighed. "I would feel like crap." She sighed in defeat. He kissed her temple and she stiffened. He looked at her oddly. "You and Lily will be fine. You went through a lot, Sam. I'm sure she understands why you feel so out of place. Yes, she might be a little upset about it but she understands." She gave him a sad smile. He kissed her. Her eyes widened when he pulled her closer. She pushed him away. "What's wrong?"

Sam was close to hyperventilating as she struggled to get away from him as he pulled her closer. "I-I can't…I just can't…!"

"Sammy, it's ok! Just breathe!" He let her stand up and her breathing started to calm down. He stared at her in surprise. She sighed. "Are you ok?" She nodded slowly. "What was that?"

Sam took a deep breath. "I-I've been having trouble being touched lately."

He looked confused. "I was hugging you all last night and I was kissing you." She nodded. "When did this start?"

She shrugged. "Alan, my counselor, and I started talking about the attack. After we started talking about it, I've been having trouble. Mum gave me a hug when she brought me back and I hyperventilated."

Sirius stood up and took careful steps towards her. "You were fine when we kissed earlier."

"No, I wasn't. It just wasn't this bad." He hugged her while whispering soothing words in her ear. She sighed but started hyperventilating when he kissed her deeply. "Please, don't kiss me!" His eyes widened. "I'm not allowed to!"

"What are you talking about? We're married. We are allowed to kiss."

She shook her head. "I-I can't kiss you. I'm not allowed to."

He stared at her in confusion. "I don't understand. Why aren't you allowed to kiss your own husband?"

Sam sighed. "I made a promise to my counselor and to myself that I wouldn't be with anybody for a while. I can't kiss, grope, or have sex for a long time." His eyes widened. "That's why I can't kiss you."

He laughed. "Sam, that's crazy!" She gave him a look. "Why are you doing this? We love each other and belong together. Why are you denying yourself from being with me?"

Sam groaned. "I just can't be with you!"

Sirius saw how flustered she was becoming. He rubbed her upper arms. "Baby, you can if you want to. There is no reason why you should do this. We love each other-"

"I don't want to hate you anymore, Sirius!"

His eyes widened. "What?" She wouldn't look at him. He shook his head. "Sam, I don't understand what's going on. You have to explain it to me."

She took a deep breath. "I…I'm having trouble being touched."

He nodded slowly. "I noticed that." He stared at her. "Baby, you need to talk to me. I kissed you a few times today but…it was only now that you were having trouble."

Sam shook her head. "It…it wasn't that bad before. People were around before. It's different now that we are alone." He sighed. "Sirius, I…" She sighed. "I still have a lot of anger towards you." He nodded. "I didn't think I would be able to talk to you let alone being alone in the same room with you."

Sirius hugged her. "I know, Baby."

She started hyperventilating again. She pushed him away from her. "Please, don't touch me!" He held up his hands and took a step back. She ran a hand through her hair. "I had to work up the nerve to hug people when I came back." He looked at her in confusion. "I came back hours before I said I did. I knew they would touch me and I had hours to get ready for it. When we spent last night in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion for my anxiety. I knew there was a chance that you would try and touch me but I didn't have hours to get comfortable with it. I had seconds." He nodded again. "I just don't want to be touched without some warning."

"I touched you and held you in Dumbledore's office." She nodded slowly. "But that was ok because he was there…and when I carried you into the hospital wing…you fainted so it was ok then too." He sighed. "Is it only me that can't touch you?"

Sam shook her head. "I had trouble with everyone hugging me. Michael hugged me for a moment but he broke away before it got bad. When he had his arm around me, it was fine because people were around."

He sat down on the bed. "You mentioned hating me."

She sat down on the bed but far enough away from him so she would be comfortable. "I do." He glared at the ground. "But I don't want to hate you anymore." He shook his head. "Sirius, I have a lot of anger inside of me. It's not just you. I swear that it isn't just you. I just…I don't want to be with anybody right now."

He let out a bitter laugh. "That will be hard since we're married."

She gave him a small smile. "That's what I said." He shrugged. "But I don't expect you to do the same."

Sirius glared at her. "Do you think I would cheat on you?" She gave him a look. "I know I cheated on you before we got married but I thought we were past that."

She shook her head. "I never got over it." He looked at her in surprise. "I let out some of my anger but I bottled the rest up. I do that a lot, apparently." He looked at her in confusion. "I just wanted to be the person I thought you wanted me to be."

He looked at her in disbelief. "Sam, what are you talking about? I never wanted you to be anything but who you are. If you are angry with me, I want the full anger, not only a part of it. I never want just a piece of you. I want all of you. I always have." He took a deep breath. "Sammy, tell me what's going on."

Sam sighed. "I never got over you cheating on me. I never dealt with it. I just missed you so much that I chose to ignore my anger." She sighed again. "I…I just have always tried to be what everyone thought I should be and not who I really am." He nodded slowly. "I'm just trying to figure out who I am. I can't do that if I'm with someone." He stared at her closely. "Sirius, you can be with-"

"Don't you dare say a word!" She looked at him in surprise. "How can you even think that I want to be with someone else? I married you because you are the only person I want to be with! If you don't or can't be with anyone then neither can I!"

"You already cheated on me with Sarah while you were on your way back here!"

Sirius groaned. "I didn't cheat on you! I thought she-!"

Sam slapped him. "I'm nothing like Sarah!"

He groaned again when he rubbed his cheek. "I wasn't saying that! Would you listen to me before you hit me?" She sighed and nodded. "The day you left me, I started having these dreams about you. They seemed so real but in the end, it turned out that they weren't. I was asleep on the train and I was dreaming about you when Sarah came in. we kissed but luckily, Lily walked in before things got out of hand. I pushed her off of me the moment I realized it wasn't you." He sighed. "Do you believe me, Sammy?"

She gave him a pained look. "I don't know." He sighed again. "I want to but I just don't know."

Sirius stared at her closely. "Sammy, do you love me?" She didn't say anything. "Do you still love me, Sammy?" She still didn't say anything. "Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you feel about me, Sammy."

Sam stood up and walked to the middle of the room. "I hate you." He felt like he couldn't breathe. "But I still lo-" He looked up in surprise. She sighed. "I still feel the same way about you like I did when I was ten."

He smiled. "You still love me." She sighed again. "But you can't say it." She shrugged. "Sammy, if you still love me then why can't we be together?"

She groaned. "Sirius, I just can't be with you or anyone!" He went towards her but she moved away. "Please, don't touch me!" He stepped back. "We can't be together, Sirius. We've caused each other too much pain! I still have so much anger towards you! I don't want to hate you!" He rolled his eyes. "I'm being honest! I don't want to hate you anymore!" She groaned. "Do you know how much I wish that we could just be together? Do you know how much I wish that I could forget about everything and just be with you for the rest of our lives?" He gave her a pathetic look. "But I can't do that! I've pretended for so long that I don't know who I am! It's not fair to us to just pretend that nothing happened!"

"Sam, I just want you back with me! Why can't we be together?" Her chin trembled. "How cam you throw us away like we never mattered? Why is this so easy for you?"

Sam looked at him in shock. "You honestly believe this is easy for me?" He nodded. "Sirius, I've been in lo…with you before I even met you! All I ever wanted was to be with you! I dreamt of marrying you!" She wiped her eyes. "I am married to you now but there is too much pain! All we do is cause each other pain! If there was a way to erase it all, I would but we can't!" A tear slipped down his cheek. "You promised me to let me be invisible for as long as I need to be. I appreciate that. You've taken so much care of me since I came back and that means more to me then you will ever know…but we can't be together." Her eyes watered. "Maybe…we could be friends again one day."

Sirius growled. "I don't want to just be your friend! I want my wife back!" She started to cry. He walked over to her. "Do you want a divorce?"

Sam sighed. "I can't get a divorce."

He shook his head. "I didn't ask if you could get one. I asked if you wanted one." He sighed. "Do you want a divorce?"

She bit back a sob. "I-I don't know." He put his arms around her slowly. "As much as I hate you…I still lo-" She gulped. "I still care about you."

Sirius kissed her forehead. "Stay with me, Sammy." Her body shook as she cried. He kissed her lips. "I love you. Stay with me. I can make it better." He started kissing her but stopped when she started hyperventilating again. He pulled away immediately. "I'm sorry, Sammy!"

She started wheezing. "Don't…don't h-hug me! Please, don't touch me!" He gulped and nodded. "I c-can't be touched!"

"Sammy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you! I just wanted you to know how much I love you."

Sam was gasping for air. "I-I know. It's…it's just too much right now." He stepped closer to her but her breathing became worse. "I-I need to get out of here."

"Don't leave me, Sammy!"

"I-I have to! I-I c-can't breathe!" She staggered to the door and looked back at him. "I-I'm sorry, S-Sirius. I-I c-c-can't be with you. I-I need to be invisible for a while."

Sirius sighed before nodding. "I understand, Sammy." She shut the door behind her. He heard her wheezing as she went down the stairs. "I don't want you to be invisible, Sammy."


	67. Chapter 66: To Prove A Point

Author's Note: I didn't proof again. The songs used were "Born To Be My Baby" By Bon Jovi, "Angel" By Aerosmith, and "All I Want" By Susie Suh. Enjoy!

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Chapter 66: To Prove A Point.**

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"I think I'm slipping."

"What?"

Sam took a deep breath. She had just left Sirius after their talk. She was still struggling to catch her breath. She was grateful that she had a session with Alan. She told him the events of the past two days. "I let him kiss me. I let him kiss me in public to prove a point to Sarah and Carol but when he tried it when we were alone, I hyperventilated. He kept trying to touch me but I kept having trouble breathing."

Alan's eyebrow rose in question. "You let him kiss you?" She looked down at the ground in shame and nodded. He sighed. "Sam, I am upset that you let it happen but I am proud that you stopped it."

She sighed. "I only stopped it because I couldn't breathe."

He nodded slowly. "Have you been able to control your hyperventilating at all?"

Sam shrugged. "I had hours to prepare when I first came back. I knew I would be hugged a lot so I was grateful for the time I had to get ready for it. When my stitches popped, I had a sinking feeling that Sirius would try to touch me again so I asked Madam Pomfrey for a potion to calm the anxiety." He nodded again. "When people are around, it's not as bad as it could be. When I was alone with Sirius, I couldn't feel my fingers. It was just that bad."

Alan sighed. "It will get easier, Sam. You will be about to hug someone without hyperventilating one day." She shrugged. "You mentioned that you were slipping. What did you mean by that?"

She sighed. "I let him kiss me! Isn't that enough?" He gave her a patient smile. She sighed again. "He took me to the hospital wing when my stitches popped. He took me both times." He motioned for her to continue. "It…it was very nice of him." He nodded. "I-I liked it. I liked how he took care of me." She groaned. "I'm slipping. I…I still lo…care so much about him."

He laughed. "Sam, he is your husband! Of course you still love him!" She shifted uncomfortably. He sighed. "Are you still having trouble saying that word?" She nodded slowly. "You couldn't even say it to your mother when she brought you back here, could you?"

"No, I couldn't." She looked at him closely. "Why can't I say it? I've said it to her before. I told her I lo…her after I went back to St. Mungo's. Why am I having trouble saying it to her?"

Alan shrugged. "Who knows?" She gave him a look. He laughed. "You are having trouble saying the word because of all the pain it caused you." She nodded slowly. "You will be able to say it again. It's not like you are intentionally not saying it. You are just having some trouble."

She nodded. "What about Sirius?"

"What about him?"

"I still care about him. I still hate him. I'm still married to him."

He smiled. "Yes, that's true." She motioned for him to continue. "What do you want me to say? You will figure everything out eventually." She sighed. "Sam, it's too soon for you to figure everything out right now. The time will come, ok?"

"I guess so. I just wish I knew what to do." She sighed again. "I wish I didn't feel so awkward and out of place. My friends are trying to include me but that doesn't help. It seems to make it worse."

Alan nodded. "It's only your second day back." She looked unconvinced. "Sam, you were attacked and tried to kill yourself. You are dealing with post traumatic stress disorder. You are trying to blend into the background when everyone keeps trying to thrust you into the spotlight with succession! It's no wonder you feel out of place. It's no wonder you feel like you don't belong." She gave him a pained look. "You will belong again. You still do. You just have to try and take the time to adjust."

Sam bit her lip. "I miss Lily." He stared at her in confusion. "Lily is my best friend." He nodded slowly. "I…haven't really talked to her. The most I've said to her is 'hello'. I can't bring myself to talk to her. I don't know how to talk to her. I fake my way through conversations with my other friends but I can't do it with her. She is the one person I can talk to about anything. Now, I can't even look at her."

"You feel guilty."

"What?"

He smiled. "You feel guilty because you tried to kill yourself and almost left her forever. You feel guilty because of what happened between you and Sirius affected her relationship with James. You can't bear to talk to her or look at her because of this guilt." She nodded and shrugged. "James lied to her. James lied to you. He is the reason why they aren't together right now. You told her the truth because it was the right thing to do. She would have done the same for you if she knew the truth before you did." She gave him a small smile. "You and Lily will be fine, Sam. Now that you know why you are having trouble talking to her, you should try. It won't hurt. I doubt it will make things worse."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Alan shrugged. "I'm just telling the truth." She nodded. "I received an owl from Dumbledore about your marriage counseling." She blushed. "Andrew and I will be working together with the two of you." She nodded again. "They start next week when Andrew returns." Sam sighed. "He knows that you chose to continue your counseling sessions with me. He seemed to think that I poisoned you against him." She rolled her eyes. "I told him how wrong he was. You think that I can help you more than he can."

"That is true."

"He will understand that." She shrugged. "Ok, I'll see you next week at marriage counseling and then, at our regular time." She smiled. He gave her an encouraging smile. "You will be fine. I know you will be."

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Sirius swayed back and forth as he stood in the common room. He was depressed after his conversation with Sam. He just wanted her back but it was obvious that she didn't want him anymore. She made up some lame lie about not being able to be touched just so he wouldn't try anything. He ran a hand over his face and groaned. James sighed when he looked at him. "Padfoot, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius looked at him closely. "Are you trying to get thrown out of school? If McGonagall catches you, it's over for you!"

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter, Prongs! Sam doesn't want me!" James shook his head. "My own wife can't even stand to be touched by me!"

Remus looked at him. "She has been through a lot. She still cares for you. She is just having trouble adjusting. We've all noticed it."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "The only trouble she is having is being touched by me! I bet she would love it if you touched her!"

He shook his head. "That's not true and you know it! Sam loves you. She married you, didn't she?" Sirius sighed and nodded. "Just give her some time."

Lily sighed. "Do you mind keeping it down? Some of us are trying to study!"

He groaned. "Lily, shut up! We are having an important discussion!"

She glared at him. "Don't tell me to shut up, Black!" He stuck out his tongue at her. She looked at Remus. "What are you talking about and why is he drunk?"

Sirius laughed. "We are talking about the fact that my lovely wife can't bring herself to touch me! She hates the very ground I walk on and would do anything to get away from me when all I want is for her to come back to me!"

Lily sighed. "What do you expect, Sirius? She has been through a lot and you were the cause for most of it."

He sat down next to her and smiled. She sneered at him. "She misses you, Lily. She told me how much it kills her inside that she can't even look at you let alone talk to you." Lily stared at him in surprise. "She loves you so fucking much!" She glared at him. "She cried when she told me how much she hated that she couldn't relate to you." Lily looked down at the table. He let out a bitter laugh. "My best friend and my wife love you so much!" She sneered. "Why can't you talk to her? Why can't you be there for her?"

She wouldn't look at him. "She doesn't talk to me."

"She wants to! She needs you, Lily! Get off of your high horse and be her friend!"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sirius?" Remus growled. "This isn't about Lily! This is about you and Sam!"

Sirius glared at him. "She doesn't love me! She can't even say the word anymore! She can't be touched and she can't say the word!" His chin trembled. "I love her so fucking much but she can't even say the word!" A tear slipped down his cheek. "I just want her back so much!"

Sam walked into the common room and smiled awkwardly at the people who greeted her. Lily smiled at her. "Hi Sam!" She nodded and gave her another awkward smile. She sighed. "How was your session?"

She shrugged. "It…it was fine." She glanced at the others. "How…how is everything?"

James rolled his eyes. "What do you care?"

Remus glared at him. "Why don't you shut up, Prongs?"

Sirius walked over to her on unsteady feet. "Hey Sammy!"

Sam looked at him oddly. "Hi Sirius." He gave her a lazy smile. He was swaying and she blinked in surprise. "Are you drunk?" He nodded. She sighed. "Why are you drinking? If you get caught, you will be expelled!"

He shrugged. "Nothing matters since I lost you, Sammy!" She looked down at the ground. He touched her cheek. "I love you! I love you so much!" The others sighed. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her go. "Baby, don't pull away! I know you love me too even though you can't say it!"

She felt her anxiety level rise. "Sirius, please, stop it."

Sirius knelt down in front of her. "I can't stop it! I'm in love with you! I always have been and I will never stop!" He wrapped his arms around her waist and she stiffened. He buried his face in her stomach. Her breath quickened. "I need you so fucking much!"

Sam was shaking. "Please, stop this!" He shook his head. "You don't need me! I know you don't!"

Lily saw how Sam was shaking. She eyed her closely. "Sirius, let her go! It's obvious that she is uncomfortable!"

James rolled his eyes. "Who cares if she is? She hurt him!"

"James, stop being such an ass!" Remus said. "Sirius, you have to let her go now."

Sirius sighed. "I can't let her go!" Everyone in the common room looked at them in surprise. "_You're my angel! Come and save me tonight!_" He sang.

She groaned when he tightened his hold on her waist. "Sirius-!"

"_You were born to be my baby! And baby, I was made to be your man!_"

James scrunched up his face in disgust. "Mate, stop singing!"

He pulled Sam closer to him. "Sammy, will you stay with me tonight?"

Sam shook her head. "I can't do that, Sirius."

"Please, stay with me tonight!" She sighed. "I won't try anything!"

She sighed again. "You have to stand up, Sirius. You have to stand up and sober up." He cried into her stomach. "You are stronger than that. You don't need me, Sirius. You don't need me to spend the night with you."

He growled. "Yes, I do!" Everyone was watching them closely. He stood up and kissed her. "I love and need you! I am strong but you make me stronger!" She started breathing heavily. "I love you so much!" He caressed her cheek. "All I want is for you to be with me again." He kissed her neck. "You are the only one in my heart."

Sam began to hyperventilate and Lily's eyes widened. She stood up and pulled him away from her. "Sirius, you have to let her go now." Sirius glared at her. "Why don't you go upstairs and sleep it off? You can talk to her tomorrow."

"I'm not going anywhere until she agrees to stay with me!" He pulled Sam back to him. "Stay with me tonight, Sammy." She sighed and he started to cry again. "I need you to stay with me tonight! I promise I won't try anything!"

She bit her lip. "If…if I agree to this, will you go to bed right now?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I won't!"

Chris walked over to them. "What the hell is going on?"

James rolled his eyes. "Sam is hurting Sirius again."

Sirius stared at Sam closely. "Will you spend the night with me?"

"I-I c-can't-"

He groaned. "This is unbelievable!" He looked at everyone and laughed. "My wife of two weeks can't sleep with me! I have to promise not to try anything just so she might agree to sleep in the same bed with me!"

She looked down at the ground in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius turned to look at her and sighed when he saw how upset she looked. "No, I'm sorry, Sammy. I shouldn't have said all of that."

Her eyes closed when he hugged her. "Don't…hold me so tight." She whispered. He loosened his hold on her. She pulled away to look at him. "I don't want to hurt you, Sirius. I don't…I never wanted to hurt you."

He nodded. "I know, Sammy." He licked his lips. "I never meant to hurt you. I…I just love you so much."

She nodded. "I know you do, Sirius."

Sirius kissed her slowly. He stopped when she stiffened. "I promise I won't try anything if you spend the night with me."

Sam sighed. "I-I don't know if I can, Sirius. You know about the trouble I have with being touched." He whispered.

He nodded. "I know but I need you to be with me tonight." He cried into her neck. "I won't try anything, Sammy."

She gave him a pained look. "I will." He smiled in surprise. "But you have to give me some time before I come up to your room." He kissed her cheek and nodded. She looked at the boys. "Will you help him to bed before I get up there?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, we will. It's time to go to bed anyway." He looked at James. "Are you coming?"

James nodded. "I'll be up in a minute."

Sirius leaned on Remus and smiled at Sam. "I love you, Sammy!" She sighed and nodded. He looked at Remus. "I love her and she loves me." Remus nodded. "She's my wife, you know?"

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Yes, I know." Sirius smiled at him. "Let's get you to bed like she wants, ok?"

James watched them walk up the stairs. He glared at Sam. "I hope you're happy! I hope you're proud of yourself!"

She looked at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

He growled. "He is a complete wreck and it's all your fault!"

She shook her head. "No, it isn't!"

He pushed her. "You left him! You broke his heart! You keep giving him false hope!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Leave her alone, James! She left him for a good reason but you are too stubborn to realize it! Sam isn't giving him any hope at all! False or otherwise! She is trying _not_ to hurt him! He is the one that keeps getting his hopes up! He is doing that on his own!"

James glared at her. "What do you care? You don't even talk to her!"

"She doesn't talk to me!"

Sam sighed. "Would the two of you stop fighting, please? We are causing a scene!"

They looked at her incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry he is upset. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt anybody. I told him that I wanted to be invisible for a while. I didn't want to be the center of gossip anymore. He said he understood."

He rolled his eyes. "Just stay away from him! You've caused enough damage!" She looked at the ground. "You should have stayed at St. Mungo's! They know how to handle people like you!"

Sam looked like she had been punched in the stomach. Lily slapped him. "How dare you say that to your own sister?"

She touched her shoulder and Lily looked at her in surprise. Sam pulled away. "He is just saying how he feels. There's no use in fighting."

She rolled her eyes. "This time there is!" She glared at James. "What the hell is wrong with you? How could you say that to her?"

"She is a fucking nutter! She deserves to be there!" Lily started to growl. "They know how to handle her kind! I don't understand how they could release her and force us to deal with her!" He turned his head and smirked when he looked at Sam. "You deserve to be locked up there! It would be better for everyone if we didn't have to constantly deal with poor Sammy! You just love to be the center of attention! You want all eyes on you but claim that you want to be invisible! You are a spoiled brat and an attention whore!" Sam's head snapped up and she punched James in the eye. He groaned. "I was only telling the truth! You are such a fucking bitch! That hurt!"

Sam snarled at him. "I don't care if you hate me, James! You can hate me all you want but don't tell me what I want or how I feel again!" She punched him again. "I don't want to hurt Sirius! Despite everything that has happened between us, he is still my husband and I still lo…care about him! You don't know anything about what we're going through!" He sneered. "So, why don't you shut the fuck up for once and go help Remus and Peter take care of Sirius before I get up there?"

"Don't tell me what to do, Bitch!" He grumbled before running up the stairs.

Lily smirked at her. "Well, that was beautiful!"

She looked at her oddly. "What are you talking about?"

They sat down at the table. "You did something I never thought possible. You let James get his anger out before you reacted. You tried to be quiet until he said you were an attention whore. You were letting him walk all over you and you finally showed him where to go and how long he had to stay there."

Sam gave her a small smile. "I guess I did." Lily nodded. "I was just trying to be mature about things but it seems that no one wants me to be mature."

"We are just used to the Sam that kicked ass and asked questions later. It will take some time to get used to the new you." Lily hugged her but pulled away immediately when Sam started to wheeze. "What's wrong?" Sam stood up and shook her head. Lily stared at her closely. "Sammy, are you ok?"

She took a deep breath. "I-I should go check on Sirius."

Lily's eyebrow rose. "You looked terrified at the thought of having to check on him. Is it because you will have to sleep with him?" She shook her head. "It has nothing to do with the fact that the two of you will be in the same bed and he will have his arms around you? He will be trying to kiss you as he holds you so close and tight to him that there is no way for you to escape from his grasp-!"

Sam started hyperventilating as Lily's words sunk in. "L-Lily, please, s-stop talking!"

She stared at her in surprise. "Sammy, it's ok! Just breathe! I just wanted to see if what I said would bother you…and it really did!"

She was shaking. "I-I c-can't be touched! I don't…I don't want to be touched!" Lily's eyes widened. "I-I-I n-need time to prepare before I-I go up there!" She nodded slowly. "I don't want him or anyone to touch me." Sam gave her an anxious look. "What if he tries to touch me? What if he tries to kiss me again?" Her breathing got worse. "I-I can't go up there! I-I can't do it!"

Lily gave her a patient smile. "Yes, you can! He promised he wouldn't touch you!" She shook her head. "Sammy, it's going to be ok! You can do this! I know you can!"

Sam sighed. "I-I don't know what to do, Lily."

She smiled at her. "You are going to…uh…prepare yourself to go upstairs and take care of Sirius. I don't know why you agreed to it but you did." Sam nodded. "Why don't you go get changed into your pajamas while you get comfortable enough to be with Sirius?"

"Thank you, Lily."

Lily smiled again. "That's what I'm here for, Sammy."

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Usually, we would hug after something like this."

"It's ok, Sam. We can hug when you are able to."

She nodded. "T-That sounds good." She sighed. "Lily, I just wanted to…uh…tell you that I did miss you while I was gone."

She nodded. "I know. I missed you too." Sam smiled slightly. "Did you tell Sirius that you miss me? Did you tell him that you hate that you can't relate to me?"

"I did."

"Why can't you relate to me anymore? Why can't you talk to me like you used to? Did I do something wrong?"

Her eyes widened as she shook her head. "No, course not, Lily! You didn't do anything wrong!" She sighed. "It's me that is wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"A lot has happened. I…just can't…I've been having a lot of trouble lately." Lily nodded slowly. "My counselor and I started talking about the attack…I have trouble being touched and-"

Lily sighed. "And, you can't say 'love'?" She nodded. "Why…how…?"

She shrugged. "It all stems from when I was first sent away. I have acute post traumatic stress disorder."

"I don't understand. Why can't you be touched or say 'love'?"

"Alan, my counselor, said it's because that word has caused me so much pain. I can't be touched because in my dream that I had before I got sent away, I was touching S…someone and then, I had the rest of the dream. S-Severus kept…grabbing me…" She took a deep breath. "Well, I have trouble being touched because of that."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She shrugged. "You…were hugging us when you came back-"

"I had hours to get comfortable with that. It's not as bad when people are around but if I'm alone with someone then it becomes a real problem."

Lily nodded. "I see." She smiled. "We are making progress." Sam looked confused. "We had our first real conversation since you've been back." Sam smiled. She hugged her but stopped when she stiffened. "I'm sorry."

She sighed. "It's ok, Lily. I'm sorry that I can't hug you." Lily shrugged. "I better go get changed."

"Ok, I'll talk to you later."

"That would be…uh…nice." Lily sighed and nodded. "Can you do me a favor?" She nodded. Sam looked at the people in the common room and sighed. "Can you make sure that they don't remember what happened tonight? Sirius will be embarrassed enough about his behavior."

Her eyebrow rose. "You want me to help you protect Sirius?" She nodded slowly. "I'll ask Chris to help me."

Sam smiled slightly. "Thank you, Lily."

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* * *

Sam took a deep breath before knocking on their door. She didn't have enough time to prepare. She had a hesitant smile on her face when Remus answered the door. He let her in. Peter was already asleep and she stared at him oddly. "Why can't I hear him snore?"

Remus smiled. "We put a silencing charm up. It's been really loud lately."

She nodded. "I see."

He looked at her oddly. "Sirius is in bed." She looked uncomfortable. "Don't worry, Sam. We are putting up silencing charms around our beds so we won't hear the two of you."

She sneered. "What are you implying, Remus?"

His eyes widened. "I-I'm not implying anything! We are just doing that in case you two want to talk without us hearing what you say."

Sirius looked at her and smiled. "Sammy, you came!"

Sam took another deep breath and smiled slightly. "Yes, I did. I promised you that I would." He motioned her over. She stumbled when James bumped into her. She glared at him before going to Sirius' bed. She sat down. "How are you feeling?"

James and Remus got into their beds and drew their curtains. Sam gulped. Sirius moved closer to her. "I'm feeling much better now that you are here." She smiled awkwardly. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I'm…a little uncomfortable." He sighed. "But I'll be fine." He put his arms around her waist. She stiffened. "Please, don't hold me so tight."

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She nodded slowly. "I just miss you so much."

"I know you do, Sirius."

Sirius looked up at her and smiled. "Can you tell me that you love me?"

Sam shook her head. "I can't." He pouted. "I-I can't say the word."

"Do you want to?"

She sighed. "Why don't we go to sleep and talk tomorrow?" He nodded. They got under the covers and he put his head on her chest. "Sirius, you are too close." He tightened his hold. "Sirius, I'm having trouble breathing. You know I can't be touched." He kissed her neck. "Please, don't do this."

His eyes widened when she started hyperventilating. He moved away. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I'll move over. Just calm down and breathe." Her breathing soon calmed down. "Are you ok now?" She nodded quickly. He smiled at her. "You are so beautiful. You are even more beautiful when you can't breathe."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Thanks…I think."

Sirius smiled. "I meant it as a compliment." She nodded. "How are you feeling now?" She shrugged. "Are you still uncomfortable?" She nodded slowly. He sighed. "Is it because of me that you are uncomfortable?"

Sam shook her head. "It's not just you." She sighed. "I mean, things are awkward enough between you and me but if you factor in the part where I hyperventilate just over the thought of being touched…well…you see my point."

He nodded slowly. "I understand." They turned to their sides and faced each other. He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I like your hair." She smiled slightly. "I did love your long hair but the short hair is great too."

She nodded slowly. "Thank you."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "Thank you for staying with me tonight. I know how this is making you uncomfortable but I really appreciate it."

"It's…it's not a problem, Sirius. You've helped take care of me for the past two days when my stitches popped and when I hyperventilated. It's only fair that I take care of you now."

"Is that the only reason why you are doing this? Are you just paying me back for helping you?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, of course not." She sighed. "You know how I feel about you-"

He sighed. "Yes, I do. You hate me."

Sam nodded. "I do but I still…care about you too."

He smiled. "You do, don't you?"

She shrugged. "Yes, I do." His smile grew. "Why don't we go to sleep? We can talk more tomorrow."

Sirius nodded. "Ok." He sighed. "Sam, can I ask you for a favor?" She shrugged. "Can you give me a kiss goodnight?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Y-You know that I can't." He sighed. "Y-You know that I'm having trouble." He nodded slowly. "And, I'm not allowed to."

He sighed again. "I know." She sighed when she saw how upset he looked. She took a deep breath and leaned in. His eyes widened in delight when she gave him a brief kiss on the corner of his mouth. He smiled at her. "Thank you for that, Sammy." She nodded slowly. "I know how much it took for you to do that." She nodded. He kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Sammy."

"Goodnight, Sirius."

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* * *

_Too many times, I have wondered  
What all trying is for  
You come around, I feel so down, I'm gonna drown  
Because I know that you've fallen short_

Sam watched him as he slept. She sighed. She was having trouble sleeping. It was hard enough for her to sleep but it was harder when he was so close to her. She went to touch his face but stopped herself. She couldn't bring herself to touch him. The mere thought of it made her anxious. She let out a soft groan. She used to love to hug and show affection to the people she cared about. She used to be able to say love without a second though. She could show affection and express how she felt but now, she couldn't. "Sirius?" She whispered. He sighed in his sleep. "What's wrong with me?" He licked his lips. "Why can't I be touched? Why can't I say lo…that word? Why do I hyperventilate at just the thought of being touched?" She let out a tiny groan. "I know why but that's still not good enough."

_But do you know, It doesn't change  
The way I feel about you at the end of the day  
Because I know  
That all I want is what you got  
All I want is what you got_

_  
_She rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry about all of this, Sirius." She licked her lips. "I never…I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just wish that I didn't hurt so much." She sighed. "All I've ever wanted was to be with you. All I've ever dreamt about was having you look at me as more than just James' little sister." She smiled. "Then you told me you lo…me. You said you always lo…me. I was so shocked and surprised but I was…I was so happy. I thought all of my dreams came true in the one moment."

_And too many times, I have wanted  
To turn around and walk away  
Knowing deep inside  
You can't provide what I need from you anyway  
_

Sam sat up. "We got married to stop my parents from sending me away but that's not the only reason. We also got married because we couldn't imagine being apart. We couldn't imagine being without each other. We got married because we lo…lo…care for each other." She bit her lip. "How did things turn out this way? How did we get here? How…why can't I be able to…?"

She rubbed her temples. "I don't want to hate you anymore. I don't want to hate anyone. I just want to know who I really am." She sighed. "All my life…I've tried to be the person everyone wanted me to be. I never let myself be…well…me" She took a deep breath. "It was only when I was with you that…I could only be myself when I was with you. Yes, I was terrified that you would laugh at me if I told you something but you never did. Unless, what I said was really off the wall but you never made me feel stupid about what I thought or said." She sighed again. "I guess that's why I always ran away from you. I wasn't used to…" She groaned. "I'm not making any sense." She laughed. "Like that's some big shock!"

_But do you know, It doesn't change  
The way I feel about you at the end of the day  
Because I know  
That all I want is what you got  
All I want is what you got_

Sam was silent for a moment. "Remus…I was a part of myself when I was with him. I was just too young to realize who I was. He never made me feel stupid or crazy either. It's just that when I was with you…" She shook her head. "Even when you are asleep, I find it hard to tell you things." She sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that you made me want to be the real me. You made me want to figure out who I am. I was terrified but that didn't matter because I had you by my side." She looked at him closely. "I don't know…I always ran away from you and went to Remus because…well…it wasn't just because we were always close but because it was familiar for me to run to him. It wasn't like I didn't want to run to you, it's just that I was scared. I wasn't used to being able to run to you because I was so used to you overreacting about the smallest thing when it came to me."

_I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay  
I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay  
I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay_

She groaned again. "I'm really not making any sense!" She shook her head. "I just want…I want to know who I am. I want to figure it out on my own without anyone telling me for once. I want to be able to look at you without a mix of hate and lo…" She sighed. "I just want to look at you without mixed emotions. I just want things to be how they should be and not like this. I want to be comfortable enough to hug my friends without freaking out." She whimpered. "Lily hugged me before and she had to pull away because I couldn't let her touch me." She smiled. "We talked. We had a real talk and that's thanks to you. If you were still awake, I'd thank you for that." She touched his cheek for a second before pulling away. "You are still taking care of me even though you know I can't be with you."

_I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I wanna stay  
But I know I'm gonna lose myself this way  
I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I wanna stay  
But I know I'm gonna lose myself this way_

Sam made a face. "I just wish I was able to feel something beside awkwardness. I wish I could lo…you like I used to. I wish…I wish I could do and say so many things." She sighed. "I hope that one day we could get back to the way we used to be before all of this crap happened. I hope that one day we could be real friends like we used to be."

_But do you know, It doesn't change  
The way I feel about you at the end of the day  
'Cause I know  
That all I want is what you got  
All I want is what you got  
But this moment is all I've got  
It's all I've got_

She closed her eyes. "I know I can't figure everything out tonight but I hope that I can one day." She pulled the covers tighter to her. "I do care about you, Sirius. I know I always will." She yawned. "I hope you have sweet dreams, Sirius. I really hope you do."

James took a deep breath. He heard every word she said. He looked at her and sighed when he saw that she was asleep. He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to say. What Sirius said about her trying to kill herself was true. His little sister was so distraught that she tried to end her life. He couldn't believe it. She would never do that…unless she was really upset. He rolled over and groaned lightly. She couldn't be touched. She couldn't say 'love'. She wasn't herself. She didn't know who she was and he didn't know anything. A part of him wanted to comfort her but another part of him wanted to just forget she existed. He shook his head. He still chose to believe that she just wanted the attention. She just wanted Sirius to be in love with her while she pranced around with anyone that gave her a look and a smile. "This is just typical Sammy." He muttered before going to sleep.

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* * *

Sam woke up and she had trouble breathing. Sirius was on top of her. She looked around frantically. He was holding onto her tightly. She whimpered as she struggled to get him off of her. She fell off of the bed and looked at him. "Well…you didn't try anything really." She had a small smile on her face. "I hope you slept well."

She walked out of the room and got ready for class. She went to the Great Hall and sat down on the bench. Lily smiled at her when she walked in with Sirius following closely behind. "How are you feeling, Sammy?" Lily asked. "Were you ok last night?"

Sam nodded slowly. "I…it was fine. It was a little uncomfortable but it was fine for the most part."

Lily smiled. "That's good."

Sirius sat down next to Sam. "Hey." He mumbled.

She looked at him closely. "Hey." He stared at the food that graced the table and groaned. "Are you…uh…feeling alright this morning?"

He nodded slowly. "I'm alright. It's just the sight of food that's killing me." She smiled. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Sam touched his arm but pulled away almost immediately. "Why don't you have some tea? That helps a lot." He nodded and took the cup of tea she made up for him. "How are you feeling besides nauseous?"

Sirius smiled slightly. "I've got a killer headache…and I am a bit embarrassed." She looked at him oddly. "Did I really sing to you?" She laughed lightly and nodded. He groaned. "That's just great! I just love to make an ass out of myself!"

She laughed again. "You do it so well! You would think that you would be used to it by now!"

"Yeah, you would think that!" He smiled at her. "Lily told me how you had her make everyone forget about how I acted so the whole school wouldn't find out." Lily looked down at her plate when Sam glanced at her. "I want to thank you for that." She shrugged. "You could have just let me suffer but you didn't."

Sam shrugged again. "It was nothing."

His smile grew. "It was something." They looked at each other and shared a smile. Lily rolled her eyes. They weren't over. The saga of Sirius and Sam was far from over. He nudged her. She jumped. "How are you feeling today? Were you alright last night while you were with me?"

She sighed. "It was alright, I guess. Things could have been worse." He sighed. "I just wanted to make sure that you were ok."

He had a huge smile on his face. "I was great…since you were with me." She smiled at him.

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* * *

Sirius held the door open for Sam as they made their way to Dumbledore's office. "This is ridiculous! Why do we have to do this?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "We have to do this! We had a fight and this is our punishment!" He groaned. "It's not that bad! Counseling isn't the worst punishment you've gotten!"

He rolled his eyes. "Says you!" She laughed. "Come on! Let's get this over with!" He guided her into the office and rolled his eyes again when he saw Andrew. He eyed the gray balding man and figured he was the other counselor. He stood next to Sam. "You're right. He is old." He whispered.

She held in a smile. "Be quiet!"

Andrew hugged Sam. "It's good to see you, Sammy!" Sirius pushed him away from her when he saw how uncomfortable she was. "Are you ok?"

Sirius glared at him. "She doesn't like to be touched! You aren't helping!"

He blushed. "I'm sorry, Sammy." He glared at Alan. "I didn't know!"

Alan shrugged. "I could have sworn I told you." Andrew rolled his eyes. Alan nodded at Sam before looking at Sirius. He shook his hand. "You must be Sirius."

He nodded. "I must be." Alan's eyebrow rose. "Are you going to be biased against me because your Sam's counselor now?"

Sam shook her head. "Believe me, he won't be biased!"

He laughed. "Sam is right. Unlike Andrew, I am open to anyone and don't hold petty grudges against people I have only heard about." Andrew sneered at him. "Shall we begin?"

Sirius guided Sam to a seat and made sure she was comfortable before sitting down himself. Alan smiled at this while Andrew glared at Alan. "Yes, let's begin." He glared at Alan. "I have a question for you."

His eyebrow rose. "What would you like to ask me, Sirius?"

"What the hell did you do to my wife?"

He smirked. "I didn't do anything to her." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why do you think I did something to her?"

Sam sighed. "Sirius, calm down! He didn't do anything to me!"

He shook his head. "She can't be touched! She can't say 'love'. What did you do to her? The woman I married couldn't help but hug me and tell me she loved me! What did you do to her?"

"He didn't do anything!"

Alan smiled at him. "Sam is right. I didn't do a thing. This is all her."

"That's bullshit!"

"Is it now?" He nodded. "Sam is suffering from acute post traumatic stress disorder."

Sirius eyed him closely. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed. "This stems from the first time she was sent away. In her dream, she was hugging you before the traumatic event happened in her dream." She shifted uncomfortably when Sirius stared at her in surprise. "Then during the attack, Severus was grabbing and touching her." He nodded slowly. "She connects touching with these events. That's why if she isn't comfortable and prepared, she hyperventilates when she is touched."

He sighed. "I didn't know that." Alan shrugged. "What about love? Why can't she say it?"

"That word has caused her a lot of pain. She can't say it because of this. She couldn't even tell her mother that she loved her when she came back here with her."

Sirius shook his head. "I don't understand. Why didn't she act this way after she returned for the first time?"

Alan shrugged. "Traumatic stress is a delayed disorder. It can take weeks or even months before signs start to show. When we started to discuss the attack, they came out into the open."

"How long does this traumatic stress thing last?"

He shrugged again. "It can last for years or months. It depends if she is getting help." Sirius nodded slowly. "Luckily for Sam, she is getting help. If she wasn't, it would only get worse."

Sirius looked at her. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't have touched you if I knew."

Sam shrugged. "It's ok, Sirius. You didn't know and I didn't tell you. I should have told you but…I didn't want you to know how truly crazy I really am."

Alan smiled. "You aren't crazy, Sam." She shrugged. "Well, you are only a little crazy." She laughed while Sirius looked at him in disbelief. "We-"

Andrew rolled his eyes. "We should start the session now!"

He glared at him. "I was just getting to that, Andrew." He shrugged. "This is just the first meeting. We are going to get to know each other. We are going to start off with how you two met and your relationship before you got together." They sighed as they nodded. "How did you two meet?" They sighed again as they took turns telling the story about how they met.

* * *

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* * *

Sirius watched Sam as she sat down with the girls. They had just gotten back from their first counseling session. Andrew and Alan bickered like an old married couple while Sam and Sirius were forced to relive how they met and became friends. His eyes followed her. She was sitting close enough to them so they wouldn't be suspicious but far away enough so she would feel comfortable. He wasn't sure if he believed that she couldn't touch anyone. He was convinced that it was just him she couldn't touch or be touched by. He looked at Remus. "Moony, can you do me a favor?"

Remus looked up at him. "What is it?"

He wanted to see if his theory was right. "Can you take Sam to our room, talk to her for a bit and then, hug her without any warning? Hug her for a long time."

His face scrunched up in confusion. James stared at Sirius closely. "Do you want me to kiss and shag her as well, Padfoot?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, I don't!" He sighed. "Could you just do this for me?"

He sighed and nodded. "I will but I want an explanation when I'm done."

He watched him walk over to Sam. She gave him an awkward smile and looked horrified when he spoke. Remus appeared to be reassuring her and she finally stood up and followed him. James eyed him closely. "What are you up too, Padfoot?"

He looked at him and shrugged. "I'm not doing anything but trying to prove a point."

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* * *

Remus led Sam up to his room. He sighed. He wanted to talk to Sam but he also wanted to know what Sirius was up to. He opened the door and let her go in first. He sat down on his bed and motioned for her to join him. She gulped as she sat down. He smiled at her. "Hi."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Um…hi?"

He looked around the room awkwardly. "How are you?"

She shrugged. "I'm ok. How are you?" He shrugged in response. She looked at him oddly. "Remus, I don't want to be rude but is…was…is there any reason why you asked me up here?"

Remus shrugged. "I'm sure there is something…" She looked utterly confused. His eyes widened as he laughed. "There is something I've been meaning to tell you since you came back!"

Sam nodded slowly. "Ok, what is it?"

He shifted around to look at her. He smirked. "Ok, so, I woke up and heard some weird noises." She nodded. "The noises were coming from James' bed." She smiled and nodded. "I saw Sirius and James in bed together. James was calling out Lily's name and Sirius called him baby!" Her eyes widened. "They were snogging and groping like rabbits!"

She gasped. "No, they weren't!"

He laughed. "Yes, they were!"

Sam was shaking with laughter. "Remus, you have to tell me everything! You can't leave out any detail!"

Remus smiled and told her everything in great detail. Sam was howling with laughter. It was her first real laugh since she returned. She couldn't believe what he told her but loved what she heard. "They made me swear that I wouldn't tell anyone. I promised but I had to tell you! I've been waiting to tell you!"

She giggled. "That…was the funniest thing I ever heard!" He smiled. "Were they really…groping each other?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, they were!" Her face was red as she laughed. "I was…it was disgusting!"

"I bet it was!"

Remus smiled at her. "It's good to see you laugh. I mean really laugh."

Sam smiled as she wiped her eyes. "It feels good to laugh! Thank you for that, Remus. I really needed it." He shrugged. "I can always count on you for a laugh."

His smile grew. "I like to make you laugh." She smiled at him. "I…I've missed talking to you, Sammy. We haven't had a chance since you've been back."

She sighed. "I'm sorry about that. I've just been trying to get back into the swing of things."

He nodded slowly. "I understand that."

They stood up. "This was definitely worth the trip up here!"

Remus laughed. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Just don't tell them I told you. They would kill me!" She laughed and nodded. He pulled her into a tight hug. "It's good to have you back!"

Her eyes widened. "T-Thank…uh…you."

He tightened his hold. "I missed you."

She gulped. "I…missed you too." She tried to pull away by he wouldn't let go. She started to have trouble breathing. "Remus, you can let go now." He kept holding her. Sam started to wheeze. "Please, let go!" He wasn't moving. She was gasping for air. She couldn't feel her fingers. He looked at her in confusion but still had his arms around her. She was hyperventilating as she fought against him. "L-Let g-go of m-me!"

Remus' eyes widened. He touched her cheek. "Sammy, are you ok?" He hugged her again. "What's wrong?"

Sam's breathing was uncontrollable. She pushed him away. He stumbled back. She leaned against the bed post for support. "D-Don't touch me! I-I-I c-can't be touched!"

"Sammy, what's wrong?" He asked as he took a step closer to her. She staggered back to get away from him. "Tell me what's going on!"

She stumbled towards the door as she tried to catch her breath. "D-Don't come any closer, Remus!"

He grabbed her arm but let go when her hyperventilating grew worse. "Baby, what's going on?"

Sam had her back pressed against the wall as she looked around the room with frantic eyes. "I-I have to g-get out of here!" His eyes widened. She reached for the doorknob. "I-I'm s-sorry, Remus! I just…I can't…I have to go!"

Remus stared after her as she bolted out of the room and down the stairs. "What the hell just happened?" He muttered. His eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Sirius, you son of a bitch!"

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Sirius yawned as he looked around the common room. He was bored. James and Peter went to sneak into the kitchens and left him there alone. He sat up in surprise when he saw Sam run down the stairs in a panic. "What the hell?" He muttered.

He watched her as she sat in the corner and it seemed like she was gasping for air. Remus came stomping down the stairs and walked over to him. He glared at him. "What the hell did I just do for you?"

He gulped. "What happened?"

"Why don't you tell me, asshole?"

Sirius shook his head. "Tell me what happened and I will let you know." Remus growled as he told him. He sighed. "I was wrong."

Remus sneered at him. "What the hell is going on?" Sirius sighed as he told him about what Alan told him. His eyes widened. "That's why you made me bring her upstairs and talk to her? You wanted to see if she couldn't be touched by anyone?" He nodded slowly. "You are a such a fucking asshole! How could you do that to her when you knew what would happen?"

"I had to be sure, Moony!"

"You are a selfish prick! I just traumatized her without knowing it!"

He sighed. "I'm sure she will be fine. You didn't know. She knows that you weren't attacking her. She will be fine."

He glared at him. "I can't believe you! I agreed to help you get her back but so far, you didn't need any help! How could you set me up like that?" He opened his mouth to speak but he stopped him. "You know what? I don't want to hear it right now. I'm going to try and talk to Sam. Hopefully, I didn't scare her for life."

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry, Remus. I just needed to be sure."

Remus rolled his eyes before walking away to talk to Sam. She was huddled in the corner and looking down at the ground. He sighed. "Hi Sam." She jumped and looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you ok?"

Sam had a pained look on her face. "I-I'm feeling a bit better." She mumbled. He nodded slowly. It broke his heart to see how shaken up she was. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Remus."

He sat down next to her but moved over when he realized he was too close to her. "What are you sorry for?"

She looked at him. "I'm sorry I freaked out when you hugged me. You were just trying to show how much you missed me and…I'm sorry."

Remus sighed. "It's ok, Sammy." She shook her head. "I talked to Sirius. He explained to me why you reacted the way you did when I hugged you." She looked away from him in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I shouldn't have held you so tight."

"You didn't know, Remus. It's not your fault."

He nodded slowly. He knew it wasn't his fault. It was Sirius' fault. That asshole knew what would happen when he told Remus to hug her. He had a point to prove and didn't care that he had to traumatize his own wife to prove it. "I just want you to know that I am sorry for scaring you. That was never my intention." She smiled slightly and nodded. "We will be able to hug one day. Don't worry. I'll give you warning a month before I do it."

She laughed lightly. "I appreciate that." He smiled. "Hopefully, one day, I won't need a month to prepare myself for a hug."

Remus laughed. "Hopefully, that will happen." She smiled. "You are going to be ok, Sammy. You'll get past all of this in time."

Sam went to pat his hand but stopped herself. He looked at her and felt a pain in his chest. The girl he knew and loved couldn't stop herself from showing affection. She loved to hug the people she cared about. The girl loved to love. This wasn't the same girl he knew. This wasn't the same girl he met when he was an awkward twelve year old boy. This wasn't the same girl he fell in love with the moment he laid his eyes on her. This person sitting next to him was a shell of that girl he knew. This person was terrified at the thought of being touched and hyperventilated when she was touched. This person was the result of too much pain. Some of that pain was his fault. Some of that was Sirius' fault. Some of that pain was James' fault and the rest was because of Severus. He sighed. The person sitting next to him was someone he didn't know but looked like the girl he loved. This person was someone else's wife. His best friend's wife. This person was married to the person who caused the attack that turned her into a terrified shell of herself. "That would be nice, Remus." She whispered.


	68. Chapter 67: Any Which Way You Can

Author's Note: Sorry for such a long delay. I've decided to post on here again. Woo freakin' hoo! My beta and I just wanted to say thank you to all those wonderful people who sent us those pms. We appreciated the support. It meant a lot. Ok, I did my best to proof the chapter. My beta is still on maternity leave. Lol, yes, I did give her maternity leave. It seemed fair to me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! to all those who celebrate it. I just want to say Happy Holidays to all of you. Until next time...

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Chapter 67: Any Which Way You Can.

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Sam leaned against the wall of the astronomy tower and sighed as she looked at the stars. She liked the quiet. She liked the peace. It was nice to get away from the watchful eyes of everyone. The door opened and she turned her head. Sirius smiled at her. "I was looking for you." He said.

She smiled at him. "I was here all along." He walked over and stood next to her. "Are you allowed to be out here? Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

He smiled at her. "That doesn't matter." She looked at him oddly. "Nothing matters to me as long as I am with you." She blushed. He took her hand in his and kissed it gently. Her blush grew. "Is it ok if I touch you, Sam?" She nodded eagerly. He smiled as he hugged her from behind. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You're beautiful."

Sam turned her head to look at him. "Do you really think so, Sirius?"

"I know so, Sammy."

She closed her eyes when he kissed her neck lightly. "I've missed this."

"Have you?" She nodded. He nibbled on her ear. "I've missed being close to you."

She smiled. "I like being with you, Sirius. I like how we always find our way back to each other no matter what happens between us."

Sirius held her closer. "I like it too, Baby." He turned her around to face him. He caressed her cheek. "I love you, Sammy." She smiled. "Do you love me?" She nodded. "Can you tell me that you love me? Can you say it?"

Sam's smile grew. "I love you, Sirius. I always have and always will love you."

He smiled. "I'm going to kiss you now." She bit her lip. "Is that ok? Can I kiss you?"

"You can always kiss me, Sirius. You never have to ask."

Sirius leaned in and kissed her. He was about to stop but she started to kiss him back. Their arms tightened around each other as their kiss grew deeper. He started to unbutton her shirt. "Is this alright?" She nodded. He opened her shirt and moved his head to kiss her chest. His hands moved up her skirt. She started panting as her hands ran through his hair. "I want you, Sammy. Can I have you?"

She nodded. "You already have me. I've always been yours, Sirius."

He loosened his belt and entered her. She cried out as he pushed in further. "You are so beautiful, Sammy. All I want is you."

"I want you too, Sirius." She held him as close as possible. "I need you so much."

Sirius pushed her against the wall and bit her neck. She whimpered. He gripped her hips tightly. "I love you, Sammy."

Sam moaned. "I love you, Sirius."

"Touch me, Sammy."

"What?"

He looked at her closely. "I want you to touch me." She blinked in confusion. "I just want you to touch me and to tell me that you love me." She caressed his cheek. "I love you. Do you love me?"

She had a pained look on her face. "I do. I do lo…love you."

Sirius held her so close to him. "You're all I've ever wanted. You're all I've ever needed. Do you feel the same way about me?" Panic started to set in. She couldn't breath. She fought against him but he tightened his hold on her. "I won't let you go again."

"I can't breathe, Sirius."

He pressed into her. "Are you afraid of me, Sammy?" She was gasping for air. "Do you want to be with me?" She started to hyperventilate. "I will never let you go, Sammy. I don't care that you can't breathe. I won't ever let you go. You are my wife. You belong to me forever. I am yours forever. We belong to each other."

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Sam woke up gasping for air. She looked around the room frantically. The others were sound asleep. She pushed her hair off of her face with a shaky hand. She took a deep breath and stood up. She staggered out of the room. She crept down the stairs and went to the window. She sat on the window seat and stared out the window. She sighed. That dream freaked her out. She knew she was still in love with Sirius despite having so much anger towards him. She knew she would always love him. She would love him no matter what but that didn't stop her anger. She sighed again. She hated that she couldn't be touched or say love. She hated that even when she was dreaming about being touched, she would flip out. She wished that she wasn't like this. She wished she could be like she used to be but knew who she was at the same time. "Things are never easy, are they?" She muttered.

Sirius walked down the stairs and looked around. He was having trouble going to sleep. He felt guilty about setting up Sam and Remus. He didn't want to upset her but he had to know how serious her condition was. He stopped when he saw her curled up on the window seat. She was looking out the window and looked peaceful yet troubled. He walked over to her. "Sammy?" She jumped and turned to look at him. "Can I sit down?" She nodded slowly. He sat down but kept his distance. "What are you doing up so late?"

She shrugged. "I had a dream."

"Did you have another one of your dream visions?" She shook her head. "Was it a bad dream?"

She sighed. "I don't know exactly. It was just a dream." He looked at her oddly. "It started off as a good dream but then, I woke up hyperventilating."

He nodded slowly. "Was someone touching you in your dream?"

Her eyes widened. "What?"

He stared at her closely. "You said you woke up hyperventilating." She nodded slowly. "You only do that when someone touches you. Was someone touching you in your dream?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, someone was touching me."

"Who was it? Do you want me to kick their ass for dream touching you?"

She laughed lightly. "No, I don't want you to kick their ass." He smiled and nodded. She looked out the window with a troubled look on her face. "Can I…?"

Sirius leaned his head against the window as he watched her. "What is it?"

She was silent for the longest time and he was anxious to know what she wanted to ask. "Sirius?"

"Yes?"

Sam tore her eyes away from the window to look at him. "Am I a freak?"

His eyes widened. "What?"

"Am I a freak?"

He laughed. "Yes, you are!"

She looked down at the ground. "I'm not joking around." He nodded slowly. "Am I a freak?"

He looked at her oddly. "Why are you asking me this?"

Her eyes had tears in them when she stared at him. He gulped. "I can't hug or touch anyone I care about. I can't say lo…lo…" She groaned. "I can't say that word. Does that make me a freak? Am I a freak because all of that?"

Sirius sighed. He had a pit in his stomach. "No, you aren't a freak, Sammy. That doesn't make you a freak."

"Then why do you I feel like one?"

He shrugged. "I don't know really. Maybe it's because you were used to showing affection and saying love without a second thought and now, you are having trouble with doing that."

"I'm having more than just trouble. When you were drunk and asked me to spend the night, Lily and I were talking. She described how you would be touching me and be all over me. I hyperventilated. It was just the idea of being touched and I flipped out." She looked so upset and he felt bad for her. She was like this because of his actions. A tear slipped down her cheek as she looked up at him again. "Sirius?" He took a deep breath and stared at her. "Am I a freak?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, you aren't." He sighed when she started to cry. He moved closer to her. He held her face in his hands. "Baby, you aren't a freak. I swear to you that you're not."

Sam's chin trembled. "I-I can't even hug my best friend!"

He put his arms around her as she cried. "It's going to be ok. Lily understands."

"I-I freaked out when she hugged me. I nearly had a heart attack when Remus hugged me. I am a freak." He tightened his hold on her. She stiffened. "Sirius, you are…you can't…please, don't touch me." She whispered.

Sirius moved away. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to comfort you."

She bit her lip. "I know. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "There's no reason for you to be sorry."

"I can't even hug my own husband! It doesn't matter if I'm mad at you or not!" Sirius hid his smile. She took a deep breath. "I just want things to get back to normal. I just want to be able to hug again."

"Sam, you will be able to hug again one day. You'll be ok again."

She sighed. "I wish I was ok now." He smiled. She wiped her eyes. "Why did this have to happen, Sirius?"

He gulped. "It's all my fault." She looked at him in surprise. His chin trembled. "If I didn't talk to Snape then you wouldn't have been attacked. You are like this because of me." He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I never meant for that to happen. I honestly didn't know he would try to hurt you."

Sam took a deep breath and patted him on the back. "Sirius, I know that." He shook his head. "I know that I said I didn't believe you but I do now." He looked at her in disbelief. She gave him a small smile. "I am still angry with you about the attack but I know that you would never want me hurt." He smiled. "I know you lo…lo…lo…" She groaned and rolled her eyes. "I know you care about me and you would always try to protect me from everything and everyone even though I would get mad at you." His smile grew. "I…still care about you too. Things will get better one day. We will be able to be friends again."

Sirius sighed in defeat. "That would be nice."

She laughed lightly. "Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to hug you without flipping out."

He laughed. "That would be nice too." She smiled. "Wasn't I supposed to be trying to comfort you?"

She shrugged. "Yes, you were and you did. Thank you for that." He smiled and nodded. "It was nice."

"What was nice?"

Sam smiled. "It was nice to comfort someone even without hugging." He laughed. "Everything will be ok one day, Sirius. We just have to believe that it will be."

He smiled at her. "I know things will be ok if I have you around, Sammy." She gave him an awkward smile. "Should we go to bed?" She nodded. They got up and went to the stairs. He kissed her quickly. She took a step back. He sighed. "I was just thanking you, Sammy."

She nodded. "It's ok." She sighed. "Have sweet dreams tonight, Sirius."

Sirius stared after her. "You do the same, Sammy."

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Sam had a smile on her face as she walked down the halls in between class. She was having a really good day. Her professors praised her in class and no one tried to upset her. They had been keeping their distance and their mouths shut since her fight with Carol and Sarah. She was beginning to become invisible. Yes, there were still whispers about her marriage to Sirius but they were dying down. Her friends were starting to realize that they didn't need to try so hard to make her feel like she belonged. They were starting to give her the space she craved while still keeping her in the loop. "Sam, hurry up or we will be late!" Alice called back to her.

She nodded. "I'm coming, Alice!" The girls nodded and waited for her to catch up. She was rushing to reach them and bumped into someone. She groaned when her bag fell to the ground and all of her books spilled out onto the floor. She bent down to pick them up. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going." He caught his wand before it hit the ground. "Did I hurt you?" She looked up and gasped. She dropped her books and stepped away slowly. Her eyes widened when she saw his wand pointed at her. "Get away from me."

Severus stared at her in surprise but didn't move his wand away from her. He watched as she paled. "Samantha-!"

Sam started to hyperventilate. She was staring at his wand. Flashes of the attack ran through her mind and she started to shake. "Get away from me!" She shrieked. Everyone in the hall stopped and looked at her. They gasped when they saw Severus' wand pointed at her. He put his wand in his pocket. "Get the fuck away from me!"

The boys were walking down the hall. They were laughing and joking around but stopped when they heard Sam shriek. Sirius pushed through the crowd and his eyes widened when he saw how close Severus was to Sam. She was shaking like a leaf and hyperventilating. He walked over to her. "Sam?"

She didn't look away from Severus. She couldn't catch her breath. She was gasping for air. "You…you need to get away from me!"

Professor Slughorn ran over to them. He touched Sam's shoulder but pulled away when her breathing grew worse. "I'm sorry, Samantha. I was talking with someone and Severus got away from me."

Professor McGonagall walked over to them. "Professor Slughorn, it would be best if you took Severus to my class now." He nodded and pulled Severus down the hall. She turned to Sam. "Mrs. Black, he is gone now. It is alright." She touched her arm but Sam pulled away and screamed. "Samantha, what is wrong?"

Sirius stepped forward. "She can't be touched. She has a problem with being touched lately." She nodded and moved away from her. He took a deep breath. "Sammy, it's ok now. He is gone."

She turned to look at him. She couldn't stop shaking. Her breathing was out of control. Everyone was staring at her with wide eyes. "He was…he had…he had h-his wand out!" She screamed again when Sirius stepped closer. He took a step back. Her body shook in fear. "He…h-he…"

Professor McGonagall turned to the other students. "It's time for all of you to get to your classes! I demand that you go at once!"

Her friends were rooted to the ground as they watched her hyperventilate. Sirius sighed. "Baby, he is gone. He can't hurt you now. He won't hurt you again. I won't let him hurt you."

Sam looked around the hall. "I-I c-can't…I-I-I c-c-can't b-breathe, Sirius!"

He sighed and took another step to get closer to her. "It's going to be ok now. Nothing and no one is going to hurt you. I will protect you." He looked at everyone. "What the hell are you staring at? Haven't you seen anyone react this way when Snivellus touches them? Get to class like McGonagall said!"

They started to leave while looking back at her. Professor McGonagall sighed as she saw James gaping at his sister. "Mr. Black, I will understand why you and Mr. Potter aren't in my class." Sirius nodded. "Samantha will be excused from her classes as well."

Sirius smiled at her. "Thank you, Professor." He turned back to Sam. "Baby, it's just you and me now. No one is going to hurt you. You are safe now."

"H-He h-h-had h-his w-wand poin-ted r-r-right a-at m-me."

He gave her a pained look. "I know he did, Sammy." She had tears streaming down her face. "He isn't here now. He can't hurt you."

James eyes were wide as saucers as he watched his little sister have a break down right in front of him. "Sammy…?" He whispered.

Her chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Sirius was worried about her. It didn't take her long to calm down before but now, there didn't seem to be an end in sight with this particular attack. She held up her shaky hands. "I-I-I c-c-can't f-feel my h-hands, S-S-Sirius!" He looked at her oddly. "I-I can't f-feel my hands, Sirius!"

Sirius took another step closer. "Can I…can I touch your hands?" He asked slowly.

She gulped. "I-I…yes."

He held up his hands slowly so he wouldn't scare her. He touched them softly and stared at her closely. "Can you feel that, Sammy?" She blinked and nodded slowly. He smiled slowly. "That's good! That's really good, Sammy!" He walked backwards while holding her hands. She stumbled as she followed him. "Do you remember over holiday when we tackled James and tried putting lipstick on him?" Her breathing started to slow and she nodded quickly. "Do you remember how silly he looked? Do you remember how red his face was when he tried not to laugh?" She hiccupped a laugh as she nodded. "Wasn't that funny? Wasn't that fun, Sammy?" She nodded. He smiled at her. His back was against the wall. "It's ok now, Baby. It's ok now."

Sam fell to her knees and cried into her hands. He eased down and had his back against the wall. His legs were on either side of her. She was shaking as she cried. "He…he had his wand…" She started to hyperventilate again. His eyes widened. He wanted to hold her but he didn't want to make things worse. James took a step forward but stopped. He was too shocked at what he was seeing. Sirius was surprised when she grabbed his shirt and cried into his chest. Her fists clenched his shirt tightly and she was crying hysterically. "He had…his wand pointed at m-me." He didn't move. He just let her cry. "It was just like the attack!" He closed his eyes and sighed. "He…he was g-going to attack m-me again."

Sirius shushed her. "No, he wasn't, Sammy. He can't touch you anymore." His arms hovered around her. "Can I hug you?" She shook her head quickly against his chest. "It's ok. I won't touch you. I just want you to know that you are touching me. I won't touch you unless you let me. You are touching me. You are in control now. No one is going to touch you unless you let them."

She gasped out a cry. "I-I'm so scared, Sirius! I'm so fucking scared!"

He had tears in his eyes. He had a pain in his chest. He felt so bad for her. She was completely terrified and it was all his fault. "There is nothing to be afraid of anymore, Sammy. Everything is going to be ok now."

She bit her lip as she looked at him. "I-I don't want to be scared anymore." She whispered. He nodded slowly. "I don't want to be scared like this for the rest of my life."

He gave her a sad smile. "You won't be. You are strong enough to get past this. I know you are." He adjusted his arms and they continued to hover around her. "You will get past this, Sammy."

Sam buried her head deeper into his chest. "I-I thought I was getting past it. I-I thought I was getting over it."

His eyes widened when she pulled his arms around her. He held her tight enough to comfort her but not tight enough to set off another attack. "You may not be past it now but you will be. I know you, Sammy. You won't let this get you down."

"I still have nightmares about it." He closed his eyes and sighed once again. "I haven't even told m-my counselor." He started to rub her back lightly. "I don't want to be scared anymore."

Sirius tightened his hold on her. He was surprised when she didn't pull away. He turned his head when he heard someone cough. He looked at James shocked face closely. "You should go." James shook his head slowly. He sighed. "If you are just going to stand there and not help then you should just go." James took a step back and started to walk away slowly. He kept looking back at his sister in disbelief. "Sam, you have to tell Alan about this. He can help you more than I can." She looked up and stared him in the eye. He smiled slightly as he wiped her eyes. "I'll be here for you. I'll always be here for you, Baby. I just know that he can help you in ways that I can't."

Sam nodded slowly. "Y-You're right." His smile grew. "I-I don't want to be scared anymore, Sirius."

He kissed her forehead. "You won't always be scared, Sammy. The day will come when this is just an unpleasant memory and not a constant nightmare." Her chin trembled. "I promise you that day will come."

"Can…can we…?"

"What is it, love?"

She released his shirt and wiped her eyes. "Can we stay here a little while longer?"

He nodded. "Yes, we can. We can stay here as long as you want. I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you."

Sam rested her forehead against his shoulder. "Please…" He was about to let go of her but stopped when she continued to speak. "Don't leave."

Sirius smiled. "I promise I'm not leaving you." She put her arms around his neck cautiously. He sighed as he rubbed her back. "I'm right here with you. I'll always be right here with you." They sat in silence. Time past slowly as they sat in the hall. She was finally calm enough to breathe regularly. He stroked her hair as he cradled her in his arms. He was torn. He was upset at how upset she was over bumping into Severus but he was also happy that she was letting him hold her. She looked up at him and he caressed her cheek. "Are you feeling better?" She blushed in embarrassment and nodded slowly. He smiled at her. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Sammy. I'm not going to judge you for what happened."

"Everyone saw me freak out. The gossip was just starting to die down."

He rolled his eyes. "Everyone can kiss the fattest part of my ass for all I care." She let out a tiny laugh. He smiled. "Now, that's what I like to see and hear. You should laugh more often." She shrugged. "Do you want to go back to your room and rest?" She shook her head. "Do you want to stay here?" She shook her head again. "What would you like to do?"

She took a deep breath. "I-I want to get cleaned up and go back to class."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "Ok, let's get you cleaned up then." They stood up and shook their legs out to wake them up. He held her hand after he helped her gather up her belongings. "Don't worry about everyone else. Yes, they will talk about this but so what? They don't matter. Nothing they say matters." She gave him a small smile and nodded. "Would you like me to walk you to the bathroom so you can clean up?"

"That would be nice. Thank you."

They walked down the hall and he waited for her outside of the bathroom. Sirius leaned his head against the wall and sighed. He was drained. Taking care of Sam in her time of need had drained him. He didn't care that he had to take care of her. He didn't care at all. He was happy that she let him take care of her and let him comfort her but it was draining all the same. He never wanted this to happen to her. He never wanted any of this but they had to deal with it. He would help her deal with it. He had to help her because he was her husband. He had to help her because he was the cause of all this. He had to help her because he wanted to. He had to help her because he loved her and only her. Sam may have been just James' little sister but she was also who he wanted to be with forever. She was the only one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he would do everything in his power to help her and get her back. Sam walked out of the bathroom and he pushed off the wall with his foot. He smiled at her. "Are you all ready?" She nodded. "Are you sure that you want to go to class?" She nodded again. "You know that we don't have to."

Sam sighed. "Won't you be in enough trouble for skipping McGonagall's class?"

He shook his head. "No, I won't. She said that she would understand if we didn't make it to the rest of our classes today."

She looked at him closely. "Oh, I see. That's why you keep asking if I want to go back to class."

"What are you talking about?"

A smirk appeared on her face. "You just don't want to go to anymore classes. I see your ulterior motive."

Sirius laughed. "You got me, Sammy! That's the only reason why I sat with you."

She laughed lightly. "I thought so."

He winked at her. "You are too smart for your own good." She smiled. He held her hand. "Would you like me to walk you to class?"

"You don't have to."

He shrugged. "I know I don't have to. I want to." He kissed her cheek. "Would you like me to walk you to class?"

Sam smiled at him. "That would be nice. Thank you."

He slid his arm around her shoulders. "It's nothing."

She stopped walked and stared at him. "No, it's not nothing. It's something." He gave her a confused smile. "Thank you, Sirius. Thank you for calming me down and comforting me. Thank you for staying with me and thank you for walking me to class." He smiled. "Thank you for taking care of me…again, Sirius."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "You don't have to thank me. I don't mind taking care of you. You've taken care of me plenty of times."

She shrugged. "I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated your help. It means a lot to me."

"I'll always help you, Sammy. I'll always be here for you. You can count on that."

Her smile grew. "That sounds nice." He winked at her. "I'll always try to help you too."

"Even though you still hate me?"

Sam looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Yes, even though I still hate you." He sighed. "But I don't want to hate you anymore, Sirius. I just want us to get along."

He took her hand in his and kissed it. "We seem to be getting along just fine now."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, we do." They stopped in front of her classroom door. "I just hope that one day we can put this all behind us."

"So do I, Sammy. So do I."

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Sirius was walking down the hall and was on his way back to the common room when someone called out his name. He turned around and his smile faded before he groaned. "For fuck's sake, don't you do anything besides stalk me, Sarah?"

Sarah smiled at him. "Why can't I say hi to my boyfriend?"

He sneered at her. "Are you completely nutters? I broke up with you in front of everyone just as _my wife_ broke your nose!"

She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. "You didn't mean that, did you? You just said all of that so Sam wouldn't break your nose too."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I wasn't lying!" She looked confused. "I don't love you, Sarah! I was bored and needed someone to keep me occupied while I waited for Sam to come back to me." He held up his left hand and shoved his ring finger in her face. "She came back to me! We are married now and nothing is going to change that! I'm not going to make the same mistakes again! She is with me forever now and nothing is going to change that!"

"You can't be serious!"

He got in her face and growled. "I am dead serious, Sarah! She is my wife and I only love her! I've only ever loved her! You could never compare to her!" She grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away. He pushed her off of him. "I could never love anyone like you! I could never love someone who could give up their child without a second thought!"

She glared at him. "That's not true! I don't have a child! Sam lied to poison you against me!"

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. "She would never do that to someone! You would!" He took a deep breath. "I talked to Patrick and I met your daughter!" Her eyes widened. "He told me everything, Sarah! You walked away from Anna and didn't care! Even if I never met Sam and was with you, I could never love anyone who could do that to their own child!"

Sarah saw Sam and Michael walking down the hall. She smirked. "If you can't love me then I'll make sure she hates you!" He looked confused but his eyes widened when she kissed him on the lips. He pushed her off of him and gasped when he saw Sam and Michael staring at him in shock. He groaned. She laughed. "Now, try explaining that to _your wife_!"

He watched as Sam ushered Michael down the hall. "Sammy, wait, I can explain!" They turned the corner. He growled at Sarah. "You are such a bitch! Why would you do that to me?"

She shrugged. "I was bored and had nothing better to do." He fought the urge to hit her. "Try and explain it to _your precious wife_, Sirius. All she saw was you cheating on her again." He took a deep breath. "Why would you want to waste your time on her when she has a hissy fit whenever she is touched? She won't even let you touch her! I'd always let you touch me!"

"Who wouldn't you let touch you?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "You never minded touching me before."

"I barely touched you after I broke up with Sam."

She kissed him again. He pushed her away. "Have fun explaining that to your wife, Baby!"

He glared after her. "I really hate that bitch!"

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Michael hobbled over to Sam and smiled. "What are you doing hanging out outside the Ravenclaw portrait hole?"

Sam smiled and shrugged. "I haven't really had time to talk to you since I've been back and I thought it would be nice if we took a walk." He nodded slowly. "Unless you aren't up for it."

He smiled. "I'm up for it." They started walking down the hall. He stumbled and she steadied him. He groaned. "I can't wait for the day when I get rid of these damn things."

"When will you be able to get rid of them?"

He shrugged. "I have another week before I can get rid of the crutches."

She smiled at him. "Well, that's good news, right?"

Michael shrugged again. "Yeah, it is good news but I just wish that I didn't need them anymore."

She laughed. "A week will be over before you know it."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "How are you doing?" She shrugged. "How are you doing after the run-in with Snape?"

Sam sighed. "You heard about that, did you?"

Michael nodded slowly. "Yes, I did. The whole school is talking about it." She groaned. "Don't worry. They weren't making fun of you. They were just surprised by your reaction and him having his wand pointed at you. Even the Slytherins weren't making fun of you. Now, that's a first." She laughed lightly. "So, how are you?"

"I'm fine now. It was hard when it first happened but I'm calm now."

"Sirius was really there for you." She nodded slowly. He smiled. "I told you that you would forgive him."

She rolled her eyes. "I haven't forgiven him." He gave her a disbelieving look. "It's true! I haven't forgiven him. It's just that I'm trying to be mature about things. There is no need to make a scene whenever I see him. I'm doing my best by trying to be polite and respectful. He said he would give me the space I need and that is very big of him." He smirked. She sighed. "Ok, I know I'm slipping back into old patterns where my feelings for him are concerned. He has just been taking such good care of me since I returned that it's hard for me to forget my feelings for him. I know I'm still angry with him. He knows that too. I'm just trying to work past my anger and get past everything." He nodded slowly. She groaned. "You can use your crutch to hit me over the head now if you want."

He laughed. "Thanks for the offer but I'll pass…for now." She smiled at him. "I just want you to be happy."

"I want the same thing for you, Michael."

"Is it ok if I hug you?" She stopped walking. "I heard that since the attack, you have trouble being touched. I just thought I'd ask and then, when you were ready-"

Sam took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "You…uh…can hug me. Just as long as you don't hold me too tight or for too long." He nodded. They had a brief hug and she sighed in relief when it was over. "That wasn't too bad, I guess."

Michael smiled. "That's good to know. I promise to give you more of a warning next time." She smiled and rolled her eyes. He looked around and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Have you had any more visions?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't." He nodded. "You haven't told-?"

"I promised you that I wouldn't and I haven't. Your secret is safe with me." She smiled. "Whenever you need to talk about them…or anything, you can come to me."

Sam nodded. "Thank you, Michael." He shrugged. They continued walking and she sighed. "I wish there was a way that I could find out more about dream seers, you know?" He nodded. "I wish I could…I don't know. There aren't many accounts of them. I guess not a lot of people wanted to know about their gift. People could try and use it against them, I guess. I don't know." She groaned. "I just know that if I find out more about dream seers then I will learn more about myself." She sighed. "Does this make any sense?" She looked at him. "Michael, are you even listening to me?"

His eyes were wide as saucers as he watched Sirius and Sarah kissing. He blinked and looked at Sam. It would be so easy for him to have her turn around and see her husband snogging someone else but he didn't want her to be in anymore pain. He gave her an uneasy smile. "Of course I'm listening." She looked at him closely. "Let's go back the way we came."

She gave him an odd look. "Michael, are you alright?" He nodded quickly and tried to turn around but she stopped him. "There's no point in going back. Let's just go this way…" She trailed off when she turned her head and saw Sirius and Sarah. Michael groaned. "Well…"

Michael looked at her. "Are you alright?" Sam nodded slowly. He saw Sirius look at them. "Let's go."

She nodded again. They walked down the hall and heard Sirius yell after them. "Sammy, wait, I can explain!"

Sam leaned against the wall after they turned the corner and took a deep breath. He stared at her closely. "Sam-"

She smiled at him. "I'm fine, Michael."

"It's ok if you are upset. It's not everyday that you see your husband kissing another woman."

Sam sighed. "It's fine. I told him that while I chose to be alone that he could be with whomever he chose." She took a deep breath. "I just didn't expect for it to hurt so much." He gave her a sad smile. "I told him he could be with anyone…I just didn't know it would hurt so much."

He patted her shoulder. "It's ok, Sam." She looked down at the ground. "You will find someone who won't hurt you. You will find someone else to love."

She looked at him. "Lo…lo…" She groaned. "_That _is for fools. I don't want to be a fool anymore."

He sighed. "Then you must think I'm the biggest fool."

Her eyes widened. "No, I don't, Michael! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that at all!" He nodded slowly. "You just fell for the wrong person…just like I did." He smiled sadly. "It's just that being in lo…lo…has caused me too much pain and I don't want that kind of pain anymore. I just want to be alone."

Michael nodded again. "I understand that. I don't blame you one bit for feeling that way." She smiled. "I just can't believe that the girl who loves to love is giving up. You can't even say the word."

She shrugged. "My counselor says that it's because of all the pains it's caused me. All the pain I let it cause me."

He gave her a small smile. "You'll get past this. You'll be able to touch again and say love again."

Sam smiled. "I know I will be able to."

They started walking to the Great Hall and he looked at her. "Would you like to sit at my table?" She looked at him in question. "Would you like to have dinner at my table so you can have some time before Sirius talks to you?"

Her smile grew. "That would be nice. Thank you, Michael."

"It's not a problem, Sammy." They walked into the Great Hall and sat down at his table.

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Sirius walked into the Great Hall and sighed in relief when he wasn't immediately yelled at. He sat down next to James and looked around. He didn't see Sam. The girls walked over to the table from the other side of the room. He looked at them closely. They looked right back at him. "Why are you looking at us like that, Sirius?" Mary asked.

He smiled slightly. "Have any of you seen Sam?"

They nodded. "We just talked to her." Patty said. He gulped. "She is with Michael."

He nodded slowly. "Is she coming to dinner?"

Alice took a bite of her potatoes and smiled. "She is already eating." He looked at her in confusion. "She was having a conversation with Michael. She wanted to continue it and he asked her to eat with him since the last time they ate here…it ended in a brawl between you and Sam."

Sirius sighed. "Oh, that's good to know."

James raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

Remus smiled. "What did you do this time?"

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't do anything this time." They gave him a disbelieving look. He sighed and told them about what happened. They groaned. "So, you see, it wasn't my fault this time. It was Sarah's."

Remus shook his head. "She is such a bitch!"

James nodded in agreement. "Yes, she is! She is also a slut." They smiled at him. "So, what are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "I'm going to talk to Sam and tell her the truth. Hopefully, she will listen and believe me."

"Good luck with that, mate." Remus said.

"You're going to need it." James muttered.

Sirius ate in silence as he thought about what he was going to say to Sam. He hoped that she listened to him. He hoped that she believed him. He hoped that she didn't castrate him the moment she saw him. He also hoped that she didn't kill or maim him where he stood. He turned his head to find her at Michael's table but they were nowhere to be found. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Where is she?"

Lily looked away from the girls and stared at him. "What did you say?"

"Where did Sam and Michael go?"

She shrugged. "They left about five minutes ago. She waved goodbye."

He nodded and sighed in defeat. He looked at James and Remus. "I better go talk to her."

They shook their heads. "You should wait." James said.

Remus nodded. "He is right. You should wait until dinner is over and she has had time to cool down."

Sirius sighed again. "Yeah, you're right. I should just let her cool off and hope that she doesn't kill me on sight."

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The boys walked into the common room after dinner and Sirius stopped when he saw her. Sam was curled up in the arm chair by the fire and she was reading a book. He gulped. Remus patted him on the back. "It's best if you just get it over with now, Padfoot. She has had time to cool off and you should be safe. Plus, you have us to back you up if she tries to kill you."

Sirius laughed lightly. "Thanks for that, Moony." Remus shrugged. He took a deep breath before he walked over to her. He was ready to face the music and accept his punishment. "Hi Sam." She looked up and stared at him closely. "C-Can I sit down?" She nodded. He sat down in the chair next to her and sighed. "I need to talk to you about what happened in the hall."

Sam closed her book and put it on her lap. "There's no need to talk about it but if you feel that you need to then by all means, talk to me about it." He stared at her in surprise. He wasn't expecting this calm version of Sam. She smiled at him. "Sirius, there is no need to explain. I told you that since I want to be alone, you can be with whomever you choose…even if it is with that slut."

His eyes widened. "NO-!" He took another deep breath. "Sammy, I don't want anyone but you!" She sighed. "Can I, please, explain to you what happened?" She nodded. He looked at her closely as he explained what she saw. Sam was silent and he sighed. "Do you believe me, Sammy?"

She didn't say anything for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes, I do. I do believe you, Sirius."

"Y-You do?"

She laughed lightly. "Yes, I do. You have been nothing but honest with me since our wedding night. I have no choice but to believe you."

Sirius nodded. "I'm glad to hear it."

Sam shrugged. "Well, you told me the truth. I respect that." He smiled. She sighed. "I have to admit that…when I saw the two of you together-" She looked at him. "It did hurt. It hurt to see you kissing her." He held in a groan. "It reminded me of seeing the two of you together the day after we broke up." Sirius looked down at the ground. "I know I told you that you could be with anyone you chose but I'm glad you don't want her."

He smiled. "I never wanted her. I will never want her." She smiled. "All I want is you."

"Sirius, you can have any girl you want. They don't care that you married me. They will take you anyway they can get you."

He shook his head. "I don't care about them. If you are alone then I am alone."

Sam smiled. "That's sweet." He shrugged. "But if you do decide that you want to be with someone else then I will understand…just as long as you don't want to be with her."

Sirius sat back in his chair and sighed in relief. "So, you aren't mad at me?" She shook her head. "I was worried for nothing! I actually thought that you were going to kill me…or worse, castrate me!"

She laughed. "Well, if this happened a month ago, I might have but now, I choose to listen before I react." He smiled in surprise. "Well, I'm trying to do that."

He leaned forward. "That's good to know." She rolled her eyes. He smiled at her. "What are you reading?"

Sam picked up her book and smiled. "It's one of Lily's romance novels. She said it was good and that I should read it." She shrugged. "It's not bad."

An evil smile appeared on his face. "Lily reads romance novels?"

Sam gave him a look. "Don't you dare make fun of her for this! You can't tell anyone!"

Sirius crossed his heart as he laughed. "I promise I won't say a word."

They laughed and continued talking about any little thing that popped into their heads. Remus smiled in surprise and nudged James. James looked at him in question. "What is it?"

Remus nodded towards Sirius and Sam. "I didn't expect to see that." James' eyes widened and he nodded slowly. "You don't see that everyday."

James stared at them closely. "No, you don't."


	69. Chapter 68: Mr Snuggles’ Return

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating. I tried to proof it but...I'm lazy and I'm tired. The song used is "It Had To Be You" By Dick Haymes. This chapter has some funny moments and it has the usual fluff. I wrote the thing about romance novels (between Sirius and Sam) while I was thinking about all the cheesy lines I use in this story. I know it can be a cheesy story but I love to write for it anyway. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 68: Mr. Snuggles' Return.

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Sirius groaned as he walked into Dumbledore's office. Andrew was sitting in a chair and looking at his clipboard. He sat down across from him and glared. "Let's get this over with."

Andrew looked up and rolled his eyes. "I don't like this anymore than you do."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure! We are just doing this because Dumbledore is making us and you are doing this just so you can get back into Sam's good graces. You just want to go back to counseling her and hope that you turn her against me."

He glared at him. "That's bullshit! You don't need any help turning Sam against you! With all the crap you pull, I'm surprised she hasn't maimed you yet!"

Sirius took a deep breath. "Can we get this over with? I want to get back to studying." He laughed. "It's a sad day when I'd rather be studying than doing something else."

Andrew sneered. "Let's begin. I'd rather be doing anything else than this."

"How do we start? I've never done this before."

He shrugged. "Let's start with your family. Tell me about them."

He groaned. "My father is an abusive asshole who took great joy in beating the crap out of me. My mother is a sadistic whore who loved to encourage him. Regulus, my younger brother, is their pride and joy. It doesn't matter what he does because he is the son they always wanted. I'm a blood traitor in their eyes. I'm friends with muggleborns and I'm in Gryffindor when my entire family was placed in Slytherin. My cousins, Narcissa and Bellatrix, are just like the rest of them. Their sister, Andromeda, is the only member of my family that I talk to besides my uncle, her father. She was kicked out of the family when she fell in love with and married a muggleborn. They have a daughter named Nymphadora. She is a great kid but a huge klutz like her father."

Andrew stared at him in surprise. "Well…that's interesting." Sirius shrugged. "Tell me about your adoptive family, the Potters."

He smiled brightly. "They are the greatest family! Mr. and Mrs. Potter are my real parents. No matter what has happened, they have stood by me through it all. I call them Mum and Dad. They have treated me like one of their own since the moment I came home for the first Christmas. They love me like a son and for the first time in my life, I felt like a part of a family." Andrew smiled. "James is more than just my best friend. He is my brother. We always have each other's backs no matter what. I never had that with my own brother and it's great to have that with him. James has always been there for me and I have always been there for him. It's been like that since we met on the train to come here for the first time." He smiled. "James and I have been through a lot together and sure, there were times when our friendship has been tested but nothing can break us apart. There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other."

"What about Sam?"

"What about her?"

He sighed. "Tell me about your relationship with her. Tell me about how the two of you first met."

He groaned. "Didn't we cover this already in our first marriage counseling session?"

He rolled his eyes. "Humor me, Sirius."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I walked through the barrier to get to the train for my first trip to Hogwarts with my mother and brother. I was ignoring her and looking around. That's when I saw her." He smiled at the memory. "She was so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of her." Andrew smiled. "Sammy was bouncing all over the place and looking around while trying to catch up to James. I kept trying to will her to look at me but it didn't work. I should have known then that I couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to."

"That is true."

He smiled. "I ditched my mum and brother to go after her. I went to every compartment to try and find her. I just needed to meet her. I needed to know her name. I didn't understand why I needed to meet her but I just knew I had to and that I wanted to. I was outside this one compartment and stopped when I heard her voice." He shook his head. "I didn't know how I knew it was her. I just did." Andrew nodded. "I was out of my mind when I found her. I was so excited, anxious, and nervous. I listened to her talk to James and when he said her name…I don't remember ever being that happy. I knew her name and just needed to meet her." His smile grew. "I introduced myself to them and I'll never forget how much she blushed when I looked at her. I was in love and I didn't even know it. She had to go. She said goodbye to James and I didn't think she would say a word to me but she did. She told me that James and I would be best mates. She told me to take care of him. She kissed my cheek and ran out." He sighed. "She always runs away from me." He looked at Andrew briefly before looking away. "After she left, I had to find out more about her. I tried to be casual when I asked James questions. He didn't seem to notice what I was doing. I didn't get the chance to ask too many questions because Remus walked in."

Andrew nodded. "Is that it?"

He gave him a look. "What else is there to say? I was eleven and she was ten! Did you expect the story to end with us shagging?"

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that!" Sirius shrugged. "So, you knew then that you were in love with her?" He nodded slowly. "I have a question for you." Sirius eyed him closely. "If you knew then how you felt about her, why didn't you tell her?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was eleven. I didn't know anything about love." He gave him a look. He sighed. "James said I couldn't."

Andrew looked at him oddly. "What do you mean by that?" Sirius explained to him about his first Christmas at the Potters and how James didn't want anyone near his sister, including his friends. Andrew laughed. "It's obvious that James is very protective of her. He didn't want some guy corrupting or hurting his little sister." Sirius nodded. "But I think he would have been ok if she was with you. You are just as protective of her as James. He would have rested easy knowing that his sister was being taken care of and had his best friend looking out for her." Sirius shrugged. "But that didn't happen. She met and fell for Patrick." Sirius nodded. "How did you cope with your feelings for her when you thought that you could never be together?"

He shrugged again. "I just pushed my feelings down until I thought of her as nothing but a little sister. I knew I still loved her but I just ignored it until I thought they didn't exist anymore. She was just my best friend's sister and I cared about her as if she was my own sister."

"That's bullshit."

"I know it is but that's what I made myself believe at the time."

He nodded slowly as he wrote on his clipboard. "Tell me about your first summer at the Potters."

Sirius rubbed his eyes and sighed. "It was the best time of my life." He had a small smile on his face. "I had a lot of fun." Andrew motioned for him to continue. He groaned. "I was forced to spend two weeks with my family. They were still pissed about my being placed in Gryffindor. They did the usual yelling and kicking my ass. They only agreed to let me go to the Potters because they would get rid of me for the rest of the summer and because the Potters are pure bloods." Andrew nodded. "Well, I went to the Potters house and everything was great. James, Sammy, and I spent all our time together. Well, Sam would leave us sometimes to hang out with her friend Ritchie but she was mostly with us."

"What about her crush on you? She couldn't speak in front of you. How did that work?"

He laughed. "She still had trouble talking in front of me but I learned right away that I had to make her angry for her to talk to me."

"What do you mean?"

"As you know, Sammy has a temper on her." Andrew's eyes widened as he nodded. "Well, I had to make her angry to get her to talk to me. So, I would make fun of her. I would make so much fun of her that she would lose it and start yelling at me. We would yell back and forth before our arguments eventually turned into a wrestling match."

He laughed and shook his head in disbelief. "That is very interesting. You knew her very well even then." Sirius shrugged. "So, you would have to wrestle her just to get her to talk?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I would. It was like wrestling a tiger just to get to know her." Andrew smiled. "It was just like wrestling a tiger when we were wrestling. Sam can be very sweet and nice but Merlin forbid if you piss her off. She will fight you with everything she's got and you might not make it out alive. She will fight you to the death if she had to and she would win!"

Andrew smiled. "That seems to be accurate." Sirius nodded. "How would these wrestling matches go?" Sirius blushed when one particular wrestling match popped into his mind. "What? What is it?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, there is one match in particular that I remember most."

"Tell me about it."

He shook his head. "It's too embarrassing."

Andrew smirked. "Come on, Sirius. Tell me about it. Whatever you tell me, it will stay between us. It doesn't matter if it's embarrassing or gross. You can tell me."

He smiled. "Ok, you asked for it."

Sirius walked down the stairs and saw Sam in the hall. She had her nose in a book as usual and was about to walk into the kitchen. She looked cute in her shorts and tank top. She looked even cuter with her hair in pigtails. His heart started to race at the sight of her. "Hi Sammy." She stopped walking and turned to look at him. She blushed and nodded in response. He sighed. He had been there for two weeks and she still couldn't talk to him. He knew what he had to do. He just didn't want to do it. He was still recovering from the last beating she gave him. He took a deep breath before walking over to her. Her blush grew. "What are you reading?" She gulped because of how close he was to her. She could reach out and touch him. That thought alone excited her. She held out the book with shaky hands and showed him what she was reading. He smiled slowly. He loved how nervous she was around him. He loved that she loved him as much as he loved her. "That looks interesting. Do you like what you're reading?" She looked down when her face started to feel like it was on fire and nodded. He held in a groan. He would have to do it. "You have pigtails." She nodded again. "Does that make you a pig?" She gave him an odd look. "Are you a pig, Sammy?" She shook her head. He yanked on one of her tails and she winced. "Oink, oink, Sammy!" Sam rubbed the side of her head and glared at him. "Sammy is a pig! Sammy is a pig!" He taunted. Tears welded up in her eyes. He stopped and looked at her. "Sammy?"

Sam snarled at him. "I'm not a pig!" She yelled as she punched him in the stomach. He leaned over and held his stomach as he groaned. "Take it back!"

He straightened himself out slowly before smirking. "No, I won't!" She growled at him. "Only pigs have tails! So, you must be a pig! Oink! Oink!" She started to shake. "Do you like to roll around in mud, Sammy?"

Her face was red with anger. "No, I don't!" She punched him in the stomach again before walking towards the stairs. "You are such a git!"

His face scrunched up in anger. "I am not a git! You're a git!" He pushed her and she stumbled forward. "You are a git with pigtails!"

She turned around and tackled him to the ground. "There is nothing wrong with my hair and you are a git!"

They grabbed each other's hands and started rolling around on the floor. He was trying hard not to laugh at her. She just looked so angry and was fighting so hard. He was on top of her and smirked. "I'm not a git! You are a git! You are a pigtail wearing git!"

Sam rolled over and got in his face. "You are the biggest git I know! You are an even bigger git than James!" Sirius' laughing stopped and his eyes widened. He felt weird. She was wiggling around on top of him as they fought and something of his moved in an unfamiliar way. She stopped moving and stared at him oddly. "Sirius?" He was pale when he looked at her. He felt weird. It moved again when he saw how she looked on top of him. Her hair fell forward and she was biting her lip. He groaned. "Sirius, what is that?" She moved around and he held in a groan. "Do you have your wand in your pocket?" He started to sweat. She shifted against him again. "Sirius, why is your wand in your pocket?" She asked innocently.

Sirius gulped. "Sammy…you have to…get off of me…now!"

Her eyes widened but she didn't get off of him. "Sirius, what's wrong? Are you feeling alright?"

He shook his head. "I-I don't know! I just need you to get off of me so I can go to my room!"

She got off of him and he turned away from her. She touched his shoulder. "Are you ok? Do you want me to get Mama?" He shook his head quickly. "Do you want me to get Daddy?"

"I-I have to go!"

James was walking down the stairs and stared at Sirius in surprise when he ran past him. "Sirius?" He looked at Sam when Sirius was gone. "What happened?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. We were wrestling one moment and then, he said he had to go to his room." James looked at her oddly. "Should I get Daddy?"

He nodded. "I think so. I'll go check on him in the mean time."

She nodded before running into the backyard. "Daddy, something is wrong with Sirius! Come quick!"

James knocked on his door. "Sirius, are you in there?"

"Go away! I'm fine! I just need to be alone!"

He opened the door and walked in. Sirius was facing the window as he sat on his bed and had his back to James. He was hunched over and staring at the ground. "Sirius, are you ok?"

Sirius turned his head to look at him and blushed. "I don't know."

James sat down next to him. "What's wrong?"

His blush grew. "I don't know, James. I-I think it's broken or something."

"What are you talking about?" Sirius couldn't look at him while he explained what happened. James' eyes widened. "It just started moving on its own?" He groaned as he nodded. "Has this happened before?"

He nodded slowly. "It happened once before. I woke up after a weird dream and there it was. It was just…standing on its own. It went away after a while but…this seems different. It's never happened like this before."

He sighed. "It happened to me once after a weird dream too." He shook his head. "I don't know why it happened but it did go away eventually."

Harold walked in the room and smiled at the boys. "Is everything alright? Sammy said something was wrong with Sirius." He sat down on the other side of Sirius and looked at him closely. "What happened?"

James sighed when Sirius shook his head in response. "You should tell him, mate. He might know why it keeps doing that."

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What are you talking about?" Sirius' blush reappeared as he told him. He shifted uncomfortably. "That…uh…are you sure that you don't want your father to explain this to you instead?" Sirius' eyes widened as he shook his head. He sighed. "Ok, I will explain it to you if you want me to." They nodded quickly. He held in a groan. This was definitely not something he wanted to do…ever. Their eyes were wide as their mouths hung open in shock when he was finished explaining. "So, that's what happened to you." They looked at him in horror. "Do you have any questions?"

"Does it ever stop?" James asked slowly.

"Will it always happen without warning?" Sirius gulped out.

He held in a laugh. "It will never stop and yes, it will happen without warning." They groaned. He smiled. "But you shouldn't worry. You will be able to control it…one day…for the most part." They sighed in relief. He looked at Sirius closely. "So, this happened while you and Sammy were wrestling?"

Sirius blushed. "Yes, it did, Mr. Potter. She kept wiggling around on top of me…it just happened." Harold had a pained look on his face as he nodded. Sirius looked at him. "Why does it happen after dreams?" He looked at him oddly. "James and I both had dreams and woke up with…well…you know. Why does that happen?"

Harold sighed. "Why don't you tell me about these dreams and I'll try to explain it?"

James shrugged. "Well, I was in the Great Hall eating breakfast and it was completely normal. Lily came up to me and she was being her usual self before she started saying how cute she thought I was. She kissed me and then, for some reason, it started to rain. That's all that really happened."

Sirius sighed. "James, Remus, Peter, and I were walking by the lake. We were just goofing around like usual. They disappeared and Sammy was there. We started playing around in the water and…well…she was all wet. That's when I woke up."

Harold held in a groan. This was more than what he wanted to know. "So, the two times that this happened to you…Sammy was involved?" HHsdklfhlsdkfjjdsjkldHe nodded slowly. He groaned. This was definitely more than what he wanted to know. "You had a dream about Lily when this happened to you?" James nodded. "Ok, I will explain this too."

They were silent for a moment after he explained. James glared at Sirius. "You…you had a…a…_sex_ dream about Sammy?"

Sirius gulped. "I-I did?" Harold nodded slowly. "I-I didn't mean to!"

"Don't go near her again!" James ordered.

Harold laughed. "James, you need to calm down! He didn't do it on purpose! You can't choose who you dream about! It just so happened that it was Sammy!"

Sirius was completely embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. I didn't mean to dream about her and for _this_ to happen when we wrestled."

He patted him on the back. "It's alright, son. It could have happened to anyone. Just do me a favor, ok?" Sirius looked at him. "The next time this happens, when you have a dream about my _innocent_ and _sweet_ little girl, you forget to mention it to me?"

He smiled slightly. "I promise I won't."

There was a knock on the door. "Sirius?" His eyes widened. "Can I come in?"

Sirius gulped. "Y-You can come in, Sammy."

Harold stared at him oddly when Sirius grabbed a pillow and placed it over his lap. "Is it happening again?" He blushed as he nodded. He sighed. "It's ok, Sirius."

Sam bit her lip as she walked in the room with a plate of cookies and had three glasses of milk clutched to her chest. She walked over to them slowly. "I-I came to check on you. I brought you milk and cookies." Harold smiled at her when she handed him a glass. She had no idea the frenzy she caused by just being near Sirius and Sirius didn't understand it either. She placed Sirius' glass on the bedside table and looked at him. "Are you feeling alright?" He nodded quickly. She bit her lip again and Sirius groaned. Harold shook his head in disbelief. James eyed Sirius closely. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Sirius. I-I didn't mean to."

His eyes widened. "Y-You didn't hurt me, Sammy. I-I just didn't feel good."

She nodded slowly. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "So, you aren't mad at me?"

He smiled at her. "I could never be mad at you, Sammy." She blushed. "Thank you for the milk and cookies."

Harold kissed her cheek. "That was very sweet of you, Sammy."

She shrugged. "I-I just wanted to check on Sirius." He stood up but groaned when she smiled at him and sat down immediately. Her eyes widened and she went to stand in front of him. "Are you ok?" He nodded quickly. She tried to remove the pillow from his lap. "Did you hurt your leg? If you move the pillow, I can look at it. I might be able to help and make you feel better."

Their eyes widened. "NO!" They yelled.

Sam took a step back and stared at them with wide eyes. "What's wrong?"

Harold held out his arms and she went to him. He smiled at her after she hugged him. He kissed her cheek. "Nothing is wrong, Sammy."

She sat on her father's lap and looked at them. "What's wrong with Sirius, Daddy?" He shifted uncomfortably. She looked at Sirius. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Harold sighed. "Sirius has a boy problem, Sammy."

Her head cocked to the side in confusion. "He has a boy problem?" The boys nodded slowly. "Well, if he is hurt, why can't I see where he hurt himself?"

Harold inwardly groaned and gave the boys a look when he saw them smirking. "Sweetheart, you aren't allowed to see this type of _injury_ until you are married and I'm dead."

Sam smiled. "Then I won't ever see this injury because I don't want you to ever die."

He smiled in relief and hugged her tightly. "You'll never know how much that means to me."

James smiled at her. "Sammy, why don't you go help Mama make dinner? We have to talk to Sirius."

She nodded and hugged her father before standing up. He smiled at her. "That's a good girl." She blushed. "Sammy?" She looked at him closely. "You're still my little girl, right?"

Her blush grew. "Yes, I am, Daddy." She hugged James before looking at Sirius. "Do you think you will be better by tomorrow night?" He nodded slowly as he gulped. "I just want you to be ok on my birthday."

Sirius gulped again and shifted uncomfortably. He wished that this didn't happen and he also wished that she would stop looking so innocent and cute. It was killing him. "I-I'll be fine, Sammy. I would never miss your birthday."

Sam blushed again. Harold and James watched Sirius as Sam hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Sirius." He blushed and nodded. She kissed the corner of his mouth and his eyes widened in delight. "I better go help Mama now." She muttered as she ran out of the room.

He stood up to look after her but groaned and sat down again. They looked at him in disbelief. "It happened again?" James asked incredulously.

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes, it did." They shook their heads slowly. "What? I'm not doing this on purpose! It didn't help matters when she kissed me!"

Harold's eyes widened. "She kissed you on the lips?"

"No, she didn't really. It was on the corner of my mouth."

Harold laughed. "Don't worry, Sirius. It will stop eventually."

He nodded slowly. "I hope so. This is…awkward."

James smiled at him. "I hope it does too. I don't want to have to beat up my best mate every time you look at my little sister."

"James, you don't have to worry about Sirius. He thinks of Sammy as a sister, don't you, Sirius?" Sirius gulped and nodded. "The two of you will have to worry when other boys notice Sammy."

"What? Why…? I don't understand." James muttered. "Other boys?"

Sirius' face scrunched up. "What other boys? Do we know them?"

"Will we have to beat them up?"

Harold smiled. "That's another thing I'll explain."

Andrew was howling with laughter. "That didn't happen!"

Sirius smirked. "Yes, it did!"

"You had your first sex dream about Sam and you told her father and brother about it?" Sirius nodded. "You had your first unexpected erection while you were wrestling with Sam?" He nodded again. "I can't believe that you told her father and brother about it!"

He shrugged. "I didn't know any better. I didn't know what was going on. I had to talk to someone. James is my best friend and Dad knew what was going on."

"How did they act afterwards?"

Sirius laughed. "They acted as normal as usual except whenever they caught us wrestling, they pulled us apart immediately." He smiled. "Sammy would look so confused when they would yell at us for wrestling. She was used to them egging us on."

He wiped his eyes as he let out a tiny laugh. "As much as I'm loving this conversation, I think its time that we stop for now." Sirius nodded. He looked at him closely. "I don't like you but you are entertaining."

He shrugged. "I don't like you either but you are a good audience."

Andrew shrugged. "I'll see you next time."

"We are meeting tomorrow."

"Yes, we are."

"Then why didn't you just say that?"

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Just go, Sirius. I'll see you _tomorrow_."

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* * *

Sirius walked into the common room and yawned. He hated to admit it but the counseling session wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. "How did it go?" He jumped and looked around before his eyes settled on Sam. She was sitting in the same armchair by the fire and was curled up with a book. He smiled at her. "Was it ok?"

He walked over to her. "It was alright. It was better than I thought it would be."

Sam smiled. "That's good. At least you and Andrew didn't get into a fight."

He shrugged. "I restrained myself." She laughed. "Will you still be here in the next few minutes?" She nodded slowly. "I'll be down in a few minutes then." She nodded again and went back to reading her book. Sirius changed as quickly as he possibly could and grabbed a sweatshirt before going back downstairs. He went back over to her. "Can I sit down?" She looked up and smiled as she nodded. He pulled an armchair over to her and sat down. He handed her his sweatshirt and she stared at it oddly. He shrugged. "I know that you get cold even when you sit by the fire. I thought you could use it."

She smiled in surprise. "Thank you, Sirius. That…was very thoughtful of you." He smiled and shrugged. She pulled out a small blue pillow and handed it to him. He looked at it in surprise. She shrugged. "I know how much you love that pillow. I managed to snag it while everyone was still here in case you wanted it."

Sirius smiled at her. "Thank you, Sammy. That was very nice of you." She shrugged again after she put on his sweatshirt. "What are you reading?"

Sam sighed. "It's another one of Lily's romance novels. She said since I finished the last one so quickly that I should give this one a try. This one isn't bad either. Some of the dialogue is cheesy but what do you expect from a romance story? Everything can get a bit cheesy on occasion."

He laughed. "That is true." He pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear. "Lily sure does love those romance novels."

"Yes, she does."

"It's a shame that no one knows about this little addiction of hers." He said with a smirk. "It's a shame that I can't make fun of her for it."

She slapped his arm and laughed. "You're terrible!" He shrugged and laughed. "You can't make fun of her or let anyone know! You promised me, Black!"

Sirius winked at her. "I know I did and I intend to keep it." She smiled at him. He looked around. "Where is everyone?"

Sam shrugged. "They all went to bed. It was kind of odd. They all seemed to leave at once. In all my years at Hogwarts, I've never seen that happen before."

He smiled at her. "It's kind of nice."

"What is?"

"Being down here without people bothering us. Being down here alone with you."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, I guess, it is." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She tried to hide her blush but he saw it. "How did the session go?"

Sirius shrugged. "It was alright."

"Would you like to elaborate?"

"You don't tell me about your sessions."

"You never asked."

He settled back into the chair and looked at her closely. "It was fine. I still think Andrew is a ponce but it was alright."

Sam nodded. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. He isn't a bad guy."

He eyed her closely. "Can I ask you something, Sammy?" She nodded. "Why…why did you stop going to see him? Why did you decide to go to Alan?"

She sighed. "There's no reason."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sammy. You want us to be honest with each other and I've been doing that." She nodded. "Why won't you let me in?"

"I do let you in, Sirius. I do. You have been the only one that I've confided in since I came back."

"Yes, you have done that and I appreciate that but think about all the years we've known each other and you've only just started to come to me with your problems, thoughts, or whatever else."

Sam sighed again. "You haven't let me in either. I'm not the only guilty party in all of this."

He groaned. "I'm not saying that you are! I just want you to talk to me!"

"I want you to talk to me too!"

Sirius smiled in surprise. "You do?" She shrugged. "Why are you just starting to confide in me after all the years we've known each other?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know." He gave her a look. She laughed. "You have always been very protective of me and I just thought if I went to you with whatever I was going through at the time, you would freak out and lock me in my dorm for the rest of my life."

Sirius laughed. "That's true. I would have done that."

Sam smiled. "Why did you never confide in me? As close as we were, we never went to each other."

He nodded. "That's also true." He sighed. "You always had me on this pedestal and I liked it." She nodded slowly. "I didn't want you to think of me as some weak loser." She shook her head. "Plus, I always thought of you as sweet and innocent…I didn't want to taint you with all the bad and naughty things I did or thought."

She laughed. "We are two of the biggest gits, aren't we?" He smiled and nodded. "We are idiots."

Sirius laughed. "Yes, we are!" She let out a tiny giggle. "Let's make a promise to each other, ok?"

"What type of promise?"

"If you take me off that pedestal and I stop thinking of you as some fragile and innocent saint-"

Sam smiled. "I promise to take you off the pedestal and I won't ever think you are weak."

He kissed her forehead. "Thank you for that." She nodded. "I promise not to think of you as some fragile girl when you are a strong woman who can be truly terrifying when she wants to be." She laughed. "Now, we have to make a promise that we go to each other when we need to talk about…anything. Even if we are mad at each other or if we go to other people first, we always tell each other everything. No matter how big or small it is."

Before she realized what she was doing, Sam slid her hand into his and squeezed it lightly. "I promise, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "I promise too, Sammy." He kissed the back of her hand. "Now, stand up." She looked at him like he was crazy. He laughed. "Would you, please, stand up?"

Sam stood up slowly. "What are you up to?"

An innocent smile appeared on his face. "I'm not up to anything, Sammy."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that innocent act, Sirius. I know you better than that."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "I'm not up to anything, Sammy." She rolled her eyes. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"

She eyed him closely. "You want to dance?" He nodded. "With me?" He laughed and nodded again. "Why?"

Sirius kissed the back of her hand. "We never got to have a first dance, did we?" She shook her head slowly. "Now, it's our turn to dance." She eyed him closely. "What is it?"

Sam smiled. "Are you kidding me?" He gave her an odd look. "You really want to dance with me in the middle of the common room?" He nodded again. "There is no music." He smirked and pulled out his wand. He waved it around and music filled the room. She stared at him. "You are determined to make this happen, aren't you?" He nodded. "What about my problem?"

He sighed. "I promise I won't hold you too tight."

"Thank you. I appreciate that." He shrugged. She smirked. "Is this just a way for you to grope me?"

Sirius laughed. "I'll always try to grope you, Sammy." She looked at him in surprise. This was exactly like her first night at St. Mungo's. He stared at her oddly. "Are you ok, Sammy?"

She nodded quickly. "I-I'm fine. This just seemed a little familiar for some reason."

He nodded slowly. "Ok…" She smiled slightly. "Shall we dance?"

Sam took a deep breath before taking his hand. "Yes, we shall." His face lit up like a Christmas tree. She laughed lightly. "I never knew how much of a romantic you are, Black." She winked at him. "It's kind of cute."

Sirius smiled. "I'm only this way with you, Black." She laughed as they swayed to the music. Their temples rested on each other. She sighed. "Am I holding you too tight?" She shook her head. He smiled. "_It had to be you, it had to be you. I wandered around and finally found the somebody who could make be true,_" Sam let out a tiny giggle as he sang in her ear. "_Could make me feel blue, and even be glad just to be sad thinking of you_."

She bit her lip as he kissed her cheek. She looked at him with a smile. "_Some others I've seen might never be mean, might never be cross or try to be boss, but they wouldn't do._" His eyes widened in surprise when she sang back to him. "_For nobody else gave me a thrill. With all your faults-_"

His smile grew. "_I love you still._" She smiled. "_It had to be you, wonderful you_."

They shared a smile. "_It had to be you_." They sang in unison.

Sirius dipped her as the music faded. He pulled her up slowly and kissed her lips. She smiled at him before pulling away. "That was…" He said.

Sam laughed lightly. "That was fun." He nodded. "We are corny as hell for singing to each other like that but it was fun."

He caressed her cheek. "Yes, it was." She gulped. "Can I hug you?" She sighed before nodding slowly. A wide smile appeared on his face as he held her. He kissed her cheek when she hugged him back. "This may sound lame but…this feels like a dream." She looked at him. "Am I dreaming, Sammy?" A smirk appeared on her face. She slapped the back of his head. He groaned. "I guess not."

She laughed. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I couldn't resist."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's alright." He winked at her. "It just shows how much you still care about me."

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're crazy!" He shrugged. "I had fun with you tonight, Sirius."

He kissed the back of her hand. "It doesn't have to end." She gave him a look. He laughed. "I swear I was just asking for another dance."

"You want to dance again?" He nodded. She nodded slowly. "I guess that would be ok. Just promise-"

"I promise I won't hold you too tight." She smiled at him. "I don't want anything to happen that will ruin this moment." She hid her blush and started to dance with him again. He smiled at her. "Thank you for dancing with me, Sammy."

She kissed his cheek briefly. "Thank you for asking, Sirius." He smiled at her.

James watched them slow dance from the stairs. He followed Sirius down the stairs once he left after changing. He wanted to make sure that Sam didn't hurt him again and he was bored since he couldn't sleep. He took a deep breath before walking back up to his room. He realized that Sam was different just like everyone was saying. He had been ignoring her for the most part since she returned. She seemed to be trying to be mature about things and she was trying not to lose her temper. She was trying to be reasonable and polite to Sirius instead of a tornado of rage. He sighed as he got into bed and thought about how they acted around each other during their talk and when they danced. "Sirius is right." He muttered. "They are far from over." He fell asleep.

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* * *

The Great Hall was filled with noise. The students were busy talking and laughing with their friends as they ate breakfast. Sirius had a big smile on his face. Thoughts of the previous night filled his head. He winked at Sam when she sat down next to him. His smile grew when she blushed and looked away. Their friends looked at each other when they saw how they were acting and rolled their eyes. Sam held the plate of eggs in her hand and filled Sirius' plate. He smiled at her. "Thank you." She nodded and put the plate down. "Don't you want any?" She shook her head. "Why not?"

Sam smiled. "I've come to realize that I don't really like eggs all that much."

Sirius nodded slowly and put sausage on her plate. "Is it a two or three sausage day?" She opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her. "I know. It's a three sausage day." She smiled and nodded.

Lily smiled. "They are acting like a couple again." She whispered to Remus. He looked at her in question. She laughed lightly. "They are acting…cute. They are being very considerate towards one another." He nodded slowly. "It's just odd."

Remus laughed. "Why is it odd? They _are_ married."

Se rolled her eyes at him. "I know they are but Sam is still mad at him." He nodded again. "His actions almost got her killed and she left him but now, they are acting like they did just before they started going out. She swore that she was through with him for good but it seems like that they are about to get back together."

He smiled. "They aren't getting back together anytime soon. Sam is just trying to be nice to him instead of castrating him for what he has done." She laughed. "She is still angry and he knows that. They are just trying to get along right now." She nodded. "But…they will get back together someday. Sooner or later she will realize that she is still crazy about him and they know that they are meant to be. They will get back together. Everyone knows this. Sirius knows it. Sam probably knows it too but she is too stubborn to realize it." She laughed again. "We all know that they will get back together. They aren't over. They are far from over."

Lily eyed him closely. "How do you feel about that?" He shrugged. "Come on, Remus. You can tell me the truth. How do you feel about what you just said?"

"There is nothing to feel. They are married now."

She touched his shoulder. "Are you ok, Remus?" He shrugged again. "You're still in love with her."

Remus nodded. "Yes, I am." She sighed. "I'll always love her but that doesn't matter. She is married to Sirius now. I screwed up when I had a chance to get back with her and she went back to him. They got married and that's the way it will always be."

Lily gave him a small smile. "You never know. There could still be a chance for you two. She may be married to him but they aren't together right now."

He nodded towards them. She turned to look. Sirius kissed Sam's cheek when she filled up his glass with pumpkin juice. Sam smiled at him when he filled her glass. "I lost my chance, Lily. Sam only wants Sirius and I want her to be happy. That's why I'm trying to help Sirius get her back."

Owls swooped in and one dropped a package in front of Sam. Her eyes widened in surprise before she opened it. She gasped in delight. "I can't believe it." She muttered.

Sirius took a sip of his pumpkin juice and looked at her. "What did you get, Baby?"

Sam smiled as she took out the small brown bear. She looked at Sirius in delight. He gave her a weird smile. "Mama sent me a package." He nodded slowly while staring at the teddy bear. "It's Mr. Snuggles!"

He smiled and held in a laugh. "Why would she send you a teddy bear?"

She laughed. "I asked her to." His eyebrow rose. "The night we…uh…the night I left you…after I went to see Lilac and Michael, I went to sleep with Mama." He sighed. He didn't know she went to see Michael after their fight. "I was really upset and mentioned that I wished I still had Mr. Snuggles. He was always there for me when I was upset and I needed him. She said he was in the attic and she would send him to me when she found him."

Sirius nodded slowly. "That was nice of her."

Her head cocked to the side. "What's wrong?" He shook his head. She rolled her eyes. "Please, don't tell me that you are jealous of a teddy bear."

He laughed. "No, I'm not jealous of a teddy bear!" She looked at him closely. He sighed again. "I just didn't know that you went to see Michael and Lilac after our fight."

"I had to see Lilac. I needed someone to fix my hair after I cut it and she was the best choice."

He nodded slowly again. "Why did you go to see Michael?"

She sighed. "I went to tell him goodbye." He looked at her. She shrugged. "I was leaving for St. Mungo's and I didn't know how long I'd be gone. I thought he needed to hear it from me that I was leaving."

He opened his mouth to speak but James interrupted him. "Why the hell are you getting so excited about some fucking bear?" She glared at him. "There's no point in hanging onto it."

Sam rolled her eyes. "This coming from the boy that still sleeps with his blanky Mr. Rugby when he is home." Their friends howled with laughter. James glared at her. "What? You know it's true!"

"You promised to keep that to yourself, Samantha!"

She sneered at him. "You made promises to me too, James." He sighed in defeat. She shook her head. "Why do I bother talking to you? You don't care about me anymore." He stabbed his eggs and glared at his plate. The others shifted uncomfortably. This was a private moment. "You never did." He looked at her in surprise. She sighed. "I can be happy about getting Mr. Snuggles if I want to! It doesn't concern you. I'm not your sister anymore, remember?"

They stared at him closely. He gritted his teeth. "Yes, I remember." She nodded. "You can get excited over whatever you want. I don't care."

She let out a bitter laugh. "Now, there's a surprise."

Sirius coughed. "Did…uh…Mum send you a letter?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, she did." She rolled her eyes when she saw a letter for James. She chucked it at his head. "This is for you, jackass."

James caught it before it hit his head. "Thanks a lot, Bitch."

Sirius held in a groan. She handed him an envelope. "She sent me a letter too?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Of course she did. Why wouldn't she?" He gave her a look and held up his left hand. She rolled her eyes and smiled at him while she stroked his hair. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "She still cares about you, Sirius. No matter what happens, she will always care about you."

He turned his head and kissed her lips. "Thank you for that, Baby." She gave him an awkward smile. He kissed her again. He felt her lips move to kiss him back but she pulled away before that could happen. He caressed her cheek. The others were staring at them closely. He heard her start to wheeze and pulled away. "What did Mum have to say to you?"

She blinked before sitting down. She was silent for a moment and the others went back to talking amongst themselves. She opened the envelope and looked at Sirius. He was eating his food in silence. "Would you…?" Sirius looked at her. She cleared her throat. "Would you like to read it with me?" He stared at her in surprise. She sighed as she shrugged. "It was a dumb idea. Forget I said anything."

He shook his head quickly. "No, I won't forget it." She looked at him. "I was just surprised by what you asked." She nodded slowly. "I'd love to read the letter with you." She smiled. "Thank you for asking me." They scooted closer to each other and Sirius put his arm around her back loosely. She stiffened for a moment before relaxing. He looked at her. She was opening the letter. "Is this ok?" She looked at him in question. "Am I too close to you? Do you want me to move?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm fine, Sirius. It's ok when other people are around." He nodded slowly. "Would you like to start reading the letter with me now?"

He smiled. "Yes, I would." They each held a side of the letter and began to read.

"_Dear Sammy,_

_How is my little girl doing?_" Sirius squeezed her to him when she smiled. "_I hope you are well, sweetheart. I miss you so much. I hope everything is alright. I received an owl from Professor McGonagall. She told me about what those assholes did to you. I'm sorry that happened to you, Baby. If I could hex those little bastards, I would do it just for you._" Sirius and Sam looked at each other and laughed. "_But she told me that you handled yourself very well. I'm so proud of you, Sammy! You broke those bitches' noses! That's my girl! That's my baby girl!_"

Their eyes were wide. They looked at each other in shock. "Mum…never curses."

She nodded slowly. "I know but…Mama is on a roll in this letter."

"_Well, enough about that. I just wanted to let you know that I finally found a free moment and was able to look for Mr. Snuggles in the attic. As you can see, I found him and sent him right to you._" Sam smiled. "_I found something interesting while I was looking for him. I thought you would like to have it. It's your grandmother's journal._" Their eyes widened. "_I swear to you that I completely forgot I had it. My father gave me some of her things and I just stored them up there without a second thought._" Sam and Sirius looked at each other before looking back at the letter. "_I looked through it but it was blank. You should have it and use it. This might be able to help you find some clarity._"

Sam reached into the package and pulled out a thick black leather bound book. She opened it and sighed in defeat. "It's empty."

Sirius looked at her oddly when she continued to stare at the journal. "What is it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems like…never mind."

"_Sammy, I just want you to know how much I miss and love you._" Sam smiled again. "_You'll be fine, sweetheart. Just remember to breathe when someone touches you. Most of them are not trying to hurt you. Try to stay away from that boy that attacked you. I heard about your run-in with him. You'll be fine from now on. You know what to expect when you run into him now and I know you will be fine._" Sirius kissed her temple. "_Daddy-_"

Sam smiled. "Ok, the letter is done."

He gave her a look. "The letter is not finished yet." She rolled her eyes. "Finish the letter, Sammy. Just see what Mum has to tell you about Dad."

Her lips pursed together. "Fine, I'll finish the letter."

"_Daddy wanted me to let you know that he loves you and misses you very much._" She rolled her eyes again. "_Baby, he is very sorry for what happened between the two of you. It's all he thinks about. When he heard about your problems with being touched, saying 'love', those assholes, and your run-in with that boy, it took everything I had to stop him from going to Hogwarts to check on you._" Sirius smiled at her but she rolled her eyes again. "_Sammy, I know what he did was wrong, he knows it too, and I know that what you did was wrong-_" Sam groaned. Sirius urged her to continue reading. "_It's time to forgive and forget. The two of you were so close before all of this happened and it would be a shame to throw it all away over this one incident. He really does love you and he regrets what he said and did deeply. I know you regret what you did too. You are still learning how to forgive and forget. I just hope you forgive him before it's too late._" Sirius looked confused. "_I love you, Sammy. Please, write to me as often as you can. I'm so worried about you after everything that has happened._" Sam shifted uncomfortably. "_I miss you so much, sweetheart. I miss all four of you so much. Love, Mama. P.S. Please, try to forgive James as well. I know he can be stubborn as a mule but he is your brother. Try to forgive Sirius as well. He is your husband after all and now, you know that husbands aren't perfect. I am trying to forgive the three of them myself. You aren't the only one that has to learn how to forgive and forget._" Sam smiled slightly. "_Be safe, Sammy. Just remember that even though you can't say it, I know you still love us._"

Sam smiled as she looked at Sirius. "Are you going to read your letter from Mama now?"

He nodded and read the letter quickly. He smiled. "She said she missed me and loved me." She smiled at him again. "She also thanked me for helping you when you ran into _that boy_." She laughed. He looked at her closely. "She says that she is trying to put what I did in the past and she hopes that I can help you learn to forgive James, Dad, and me."

She patted his hand briefly. "I'm working on forgiving you, Sirius. I'm working on it."

Sirius smiled at her. "That's all I ask, Sammy." They stood up and walked out of the Great Hall together. He went with her to bring the package back to her dorm and walked her to class.

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Sirius and James walked into the common room after classes. Sirius saw Sam sitting on the window seat as she looked over her grandmother's journal. Her eyebrows were furrowed together as she flipped the pages back and forth. He had a huge smile on his face. "I'm going to see what she's up to."

James rolled his eyes. "That's why she is sitting there. She is just trying to draw attention to herself and hopes that you will drop everything to go check on her."

He looked at him incredulously. "Are you a complete nutter?" James rolled his eyes again. "Where do these conspiracy theories you have come from exactly?" He glared at him. "Prongs, she is sitting alone in the corner and she is keeping to herself. She doesn't want to be the center of attention. She just wants to be left alone. She wants to be invisible while she gets things in order."

He shrugged. "You can believe what you want. I know my sister."

Sirius smirked. "I thought she wasn't your sister anymore?" James glared at him again. "Mate, you have to let go of your anger. She did the right thing by telling Lily. You know it's true. You would have done the same thing for me if you were in her position, wouldn't you?" He nodded slowly. "What did Mum tell you in that letter?"

James sighed. "She called me an ass." Sirius laughed. "She said that not protecting Sam was wrong. She had every right to tell Lily about what happened but I should have told her. She said she is trying to forgive me and that she still loves me no matter what. She said that she believes Lily will come back to me…once I get my head out of my ass. I have to forgive Sam for ratting me out to her and Sam has to forgive me for not protecting her and for not telling her the truth."

He nodded. "So, are you going to listen to her?"

He shrugged. "We'll see."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mate. You do what you have to do. I'll be here for you." James smiled. "I'll see you later. I'm going to talk to my wife now." James shook his head and rolled his eyes. Sirius stood in front of Sam and cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up and smiled at him. "Hi Sammy. Can I sit down?" She nodded and patted the seat next to her. He smiled at her as he sat down. He looked at the journal oddly as she continued to flip through the blank pages. "What are you doing?"

Sam sighed. "I'm flipping through the pages." He nodded slowly. "It's just odd."

"What is?"

She looked at him. "It feels like there is something in this book but for some reason, I can't see it. Does that make any sense?" He shook his head slowly. She sighed again. "Maybe I'm wrong but I still think there is more to this book than meets the eye."

Sirius' eyes widened when an envelope fell out of the book when she started to flip through the pages again. He picked the envelope off of the floor and smiled at her. "It looks like you were right. There was something in there after all."

She smiled when she saw her name on the envelope and rolled her eyes. "It's probably just another letter from Mama telling me who else to forgive."

He laughed. "That's probably true. You should still read it though." She nodded and opened the letter. He looked at her in surprise when she gasped. "What? What is it?"

Sam looked at him in shock. "Sirius…it's a letter-" He nodded slowly. "From my grandmother."

Sirius blinked in surprise. "I wasn't expecting to hear that."

She shrugged. "I wasn't expecting to say it or see it."

"Are you sure it's from her? I thought she died before you were born."

"She did."

"Are you sure it's from her?"

She nodded slowly. "It's from her alright."

He shrugged. "Ok…are you going to read it?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, I am." She grabbed his hand when he stood up. "Will you read it with me?"

Sirius smiled. "Are you sure you want me too?" She nodded again. His smile grew. "I'd love to. Thank you for asking me…again." She smiled and shrugged. They got closer to each other and began reading the latest letter.

"_To my dearest Samantha,_

_I should introduce myself. I am your grandmother Kathleen._" Sirius looked at her in surprise. Sam nodded in response. "_That was a better introduction than my original idea of I am your dead grandmother, how are you, wasn't it?_" Sam and Sirius looked at each other and laughed. "_I am writing this letter to you while you are still waiting to be born because I won't be around to help you. I'm not sure if you know this about me but I am fantastic! I just thought you should know that from the start._"

He looked at her. "Your grandmother-"

"Is a complete nutter?"

He shrugged. "I was going to say funny but that works too."

She smiled at him. "She does seem to be funny."

"_I am also a dream seer. I am telling you this because you are one too. You have the same gift I do even though it is more of a burden than a gift._" Sam nodded eagerly. "_Sammy, I'm assuming that they will call you that, you will see things that will terrify you. You will see things that will make you happy and that will make you sad. Some dreams will just be dreams while others will be visions of your future and the futures of the ones you love._" Sirius looked at her when she sighed sadly. "_I am getting ahead of myself. I just jumped right into an explanation about something that you don't understand even if you already know what you are. I have many things to say to you, Sammy. First and foremost, I love you. I know we have never met but I see how happy my daughter, your mother, is about being pregnant with you. The fact that you bring my little girl so much happiness already makes me love you so much. It also helps that you are going to be one of my relatives. If you weren't, I doubt I'd like you._" They howled with laughter. "_I am just joking around. I'd love you anyway. I just hope for your sake that you are even the tiniest bit like your mother. If you are like your git of a father then I wish you luck!_"

Sam looked at the letter in confusion. "I thought she liked him?"

Sirius smiled at her. "She did…once." She looked at him closely. "I'll explain later. Let's finish the letter first."

She nodded slowly. "Ok, whatever you say."

"_I started having visions when I was six years old._" Their eyes widened. They both knew that was the same age when Sam started having visions. "_Well, you will see that when you read my journal that I left for you._"

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "What the hell is she talking about? The book is blank!"

He nodded. "Yes, it is." She sighed. "Why don't we keep reading? There might be an explanation."

"_You may be wondering what the hell I am talking about and that is a very good question. It means that you have a brain. If you aren't wondering this then I know you take after your father._" They laughed. "_When you open this book, it appears to be filled with blank pages but that is not the case. In fact, it is filled with my writings and thoughts from the moment I found out that I was a dream seer._" Their eyes widened. "_My mother gave it to me after my first vision. There aren't too many entries from the first year but after some time, I began to write in it more. Now, I put a certain spell on it that ensured its safety. I don't want just anyone to read it. You can see what it says. This is where you learn how to access my journal. If you follow my instructions, you will be able to read every single page. All you have to do is-_"

"What are you two reading?" Frank asked.

They looked up and saw their friends staring at them. They sighed. "It's nothing." They said in unison.

Sam folded up the letter and put it in her pocket. "What are you lot up to?" They sat down around them and began talking. She tried to listen but her mind was on the letter from her grandmother. She was determined to finish it and made a promise to herself that she would finish it later than night.

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Sam snuck down the stairs after everyone went to bed and sat on the window seat. She took a deep breath before taking the letter out of her pocket and opening it. She reread the part she already saw just to make sure she didn't imagine what she read before with Sirius. She sighed as she got to the part where she left off. "This is it." She muttered.

"_All you have to do is pat the top of your head and rub your stomach at the same time._"

"What the fuck?" She whispered.

"_That was just another one of my jokes. Don't worry._" Sam laughed lightly and rolled her eyes. "_There is an incantation you must do in order for the pages to reveal themselves to you. Once you do this, you can read everything I've written and show others. I must warn you to only show those whom you can trust. You should probably show my entries to Sirius so he can understand what you are as well as yourself._"

Her eyes widened. "How does she know about him?"

"_Yes, I know about your soul mate named Sirius, Sammy. You will learn how in due time._" She nodded quickly. "_You must go to the top of the astronomy tower at midnight to perform this incantation. You must bring twelve candles with you. It doesn't matter what color they are. You must put four of them in the east, west, north, and south positions. The rest of them, you must put in a circle surrounding you. You must sit in the middle of the four candles and repeat these words seven times._" Sam read the instructions carefully. Her eyes widened when she saw her grandmother's warning. "_I must warn you, Sammy. The wind will blow hard and howl in your ear but do not be afraid. That is supposed to happen if it works. Also, you must know that a side effect of this incantation is that you will lose the ability to speak._" She gasped. "_You will regain your voice on the stroke of midnight after you finish my journal. You will only be allowed to speak if you or the ones you love are in danger. You will need to distance yourself from people. You must be invisible during this time! You may interact with your friends for the most part but it is imperative that you be invisible._" Sam smiled brightly. This was exactly what she wanted. "_You may have one person to share this with. If you choose to have more than one person I guess that will be alright. I hope you choose Sirius. He is quite the looker, if you get my meaning._"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "He has charmed her too and she is dead!" She continued to read the letter and smiled when she was done. "This is it! This is what I need to do!" She sighed. "I have to talk to Alan about this but it's definitely what I need to do!" She folded up the letter and went to the stairs. She looked out the window and smiled. "Thank you for this, grandma! This is what I need now more than ever!" She went upstairs and fell asleep with a smile on her face. She planned to speak to Alan at their session the next night. She had a feeling he would be all for it but she needed to be sure. Her grandmother's letter was the start of an answer to all her questions.


	70. Chapter 69: Bewitched, Bothered And Bewi

Author's Note: I just wanted to let you know that the incantation is really lame. I wrote this like six months ago while watching an episode of Charmed and I just came up with it because of something that happened on the show. You can mock me for it if you want. This chapter is eh. I hope you like it. If not then oops! Enjoy!

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Chapter 69: Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered

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Sam shifted in her seat while Alan read the letter quietly. He folded the letter and looked at her closely. She waited for him to speak impatiently. He tapped the letter against his knee and continued to stare at her. Her foot tapped on the ground. "So, what do you think?" She asked slowly.

Alan's eyebrow rose. "What do you think?"

She shrugged. "I-I think it's exactly what I need right now. I was looking for a way to become invisible and my grandmother gave me a way. I also wanted to learn more about who I am and what dream seers are and this is perfect!"

"If you are sure this is what you want to do then why did you show me this?"

Sam sighed. "I wanted to make sure it was the right thing to do. You are my counselor and, for some reason, I respect your opinion." He laughed. "So, what do you think? Should I do it?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I do think you should do it." She smiled. "Are you sure that you want to do this?" She nodded quickly. "You won't be able to talk to your friends…which you haven't been doing really since you've been back." She nodded again. "You will need to distance yourself from everyone you care about…which is exactly what you wanted." She stared at him. He smiled at her. "You should do this. I think you should really do this."

Her eyes widened in delight. "Do you mean it? Do you really think I should do it?" He nodded and smiled at her. "When should I do this?"

Alan's smile grew. "As soon as possible." She nodded quickly. "This means that we won't have any sessions until you are done but I want you to write to me with _daily_ reports." She sighed and nodded. "I want you to tell me everything that happens during your day, like you do now, and tell me about the journal." She nodded. He sat up and smiled. "I was going to have you start this with me but since that won't be possible now; I'll have you start it by yourself."

Sam looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I was going to have you start an exercise regime." She looked at him incredulously. He laughed. "It's to help you get into shape."

"I'm in great shape."

Alan nodded. "Yes, you are but this is not only physical shape, its emotional shape."

She shook her head slowly. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"It is a physical work out. You will have to run laps around the school and you will punch a punching bag." She looked at him oddly. "It's a muggle form of fighting." She nodded slowly. "You have lost that fire you used to have before you tried to kill yourself." She sighed. "If you do this then I believe it will help you get that fire back." She nodded again. "I will give you instructions to guide you." He coughed. "I have an idea." She looked at him with interest. "Even though we may not be able to have sessions where you can talk, we will have sessions with your exercises. You will run by yourself and do it nightly. I will be here at our regularly scheduled time for your fighting exercises. Is this acceptable to you?"

She nodded. "That sounds fine to me."

"Now, I have an important question to ask you."

"What is it?"

Alan smiled. "Have you told Sirius about this idea of yours?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No, I haven't."

"How do you plan on telling him?"

Sam smiled. "I was hoping that you would tell him." He gave her a look. She groaned. "If I tell him, he won't let me do it!"

His eyebrow rose. "He won't _let_ you?" She nodded. "Sam, you are your own person. The only person that won't let you do this is yourself!"

"I didn't mean it like that! I know he doesn't own me."

"Then how did you mean it?"

She sighed. "I just meant that…it will turn into an ugly fight between us when I tell him. He will think I'm doing this just to get away from him but it's not like that at all! He can still talk to me. It's just that I can't talk back."

He laughed. "Tell him that. If you explain the situation, I'm sure he will understand." She gave him a look. He laughed again. "I didn't buy that crap either." She laughed. "I'll help you explain it to him when you tell him during marriage counseling."

Sam smiled in relief. "Thank you for that, Alan." He shrugged. "I hope he takes it well."

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The room was silent. They watched him closely as he read the letter. He folded the letter back up and handed it back to Sam. She held it in her hand and stared at him. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "What do you think?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "What should I be thinking, Sammy?"

Alan cleared his throat. "Sirius, this is the best solution to help Sam. She needs to distance herself from everyone for a while and find some clarity and to figure out who she is. This will help her."

Andrew nodded. "As much as this pains me to admit, Alan is right. This will help Sam."

He nodded slowly. "I see."

Sam sighed. "What are you thinking?"

Sirius stared at her. "Do you really want to know what I'm thinking?" She nodded. He let out a bitter laugh. "I think this is rich! I think this is absolutely rich!" She sighed. "You are just doing this to get away from me again!"

She groaned as she looked at Alan. "I told you he would say that!"

He nodded. "Yes, you did." He looked at him. "Sirius, she isn't doing this to get away from you. She is doing this to get away from herself." He looked confused. "Sam has been having a lot of trouble, as you know, and this is going to help her find her way back to herself and help her discover more about herself."

"I don't believe you. Yes, she hasn't been acting like herself lately. She is being polite and nice to me, which terrifies me because I expected her to torture me like usual when she is pissed at me, and she can't be touched without having a panic attack when she used to love to hug me no matter what. She used to say she loved me at the drop of a hat but now, she can't bring herself to say the word." He looked at her. "I know you hate me but still love me." She sighed. "I'm finding it hard to believe that you are doing this to find some clarity. I'm sure that that is a part of it but how can I not believe that this is also a way for you to leave me again?"

Sam sighed again. "Sirius, I'm not trying to leave you again." She held up her left hand and smiled at him while she wiggled her fingers. "I can't ever truly leave you. We are married now. We are bound to each other for eternity. How can I leave you?"

He looked at her closely. "You've left me before."

Her eyebrow rose. "You left me as well."

Sirius nodded. "That's true but I regretted doing that to you. Do you regret leaving me?"

Sam cleared her throat and looked at him. "No, I don't." He glared at the ground with tears in his eyes. She kneeled down in front of him and gave him a reassuring smile. "And, yes, I do." He rested his tear filled eyes on her. She slid her hands into his and smiled again. "Sirius, it was the right choice to leave you because I was only getting worse…but I did regret it. No matter how angry I am with you, I still hated leaving you."

He sighed before resting his forehead against hers. "Why do you have to do this, Sammy?" She sighed. He groaned. "I don't know if I can let you do this."

She pulled away. "I'm not asking for you permission, Sirius. I'm doing this with or without your consent."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

She gave him a small smile. "You deserve to know what I'm planning on doing." He nodded slowly. She went back to holding his hands. "Sirius, you know that I'm not doing this to leave you again."

He sighed again. "Why do you have to do this?"

Sam smiled at him. "I've been so lost for so long and you know that." He nodded again. "I need to figure out who I am. I need to learn more about myself and I need to learn more about dream seers. I've put it off long enough because I've been too lazy and too scared to do it. My grandmother has given me a sign that it's time to stop procrastinating and just do it already. I want to be invisible and this is the perfect way to do it."

His chin trembled. "I don't want you to be invisible, Sammy."

Alan and Andrew opened their mouths to speak but Sam held her hand up and stopped them. "You promised me, Sirius. You said you would agree to let me be invisible for a while." He sighed. "I'm not asking for your permission but I want your blessing. Will you give me your blessing?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "You said that I could talk to you whenever I wanted. If you do this then I can't."

She let out a tiny laugh. "You can still talk to me. I'll just have to mouth or write down my responses instead of speaking." He looked at her closely. "I meant what I said. You can always come and talk to me if you need to. I won't turn you away, Sirius. You can always come to me."

Sirius had a pained look on his face. "I can still come to you?" She nodded. "You have my blessing." She smiled. "If you do this, will it help you get better?"

"I hope so."

"Will it help you forgive me?"

She smiled again. "I hope it does."

"Will it bring you back to me?"

Andrew sighed. "Sirius, there is no guarantee of that." Sirius sighed. "You shouldn't try to put added pressure on Sam."

He looked at her. "I don't want to pressure you, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "I know you don't, Sirius. I know that."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "I've just missed you so much. I just want you back."

"Sirius, I still care about you after everything that has happened between us. I cared about you after you broke my heart. I cared about you after I left you. I care about you now. I will always care about you. I will care about you even after I die. I can't guarantee you about us or our future but I can give you one guarantee and that is I will always care about you." She took his hand and placed it over her heart. "What do you feel?"

He had a small smile on his face. "I feel…your breast." She gave him a look. He laughed. "It's your heart."

She smiled and nodded. "That's right. No matter what our future holds, you will always have a special place in my heart. No one can ever replace you. You have been there since I laid eyes on you when we met at King's Cross and I've tried to let you go and get you out of my heart but I never could. I will always care about you. I will never stop caring about you."

"Who will you share this with?" She looked at him in confusion. He sighed. "In the letter, your grandmother said you could choose at least one person to share this with. Who will you choose? Have you chosen someone already?"

Sam shook her head. "I haven't chosen anyone yet."

Sirius sighed. "Will you choose me?" She sighed. "Would you at least consider choosing me?"

She nodded. "I'll consider it."

He smiled. "Then you have my consent. I'll give you my blessing."

She gave him a brief hug. "Thank you, Sirius! You have no idea how much this means to me!"

Sirius kissed her. Her eyes widened. "I just want to make you happy, Sammy. I'll do anything to make you happy."

"Thank you, Sirius. I appreciate this."

"Can I hug you?"

Sam gave him a pained look. "Sirius, I can't…I can't do that."

He smiled. "You just did."

She shrugged. "I ended it quickly."

"I promise it will be quick."

She sighed. "I will hug you…if it's a quick one."

They stood up and she took a deep breath before he hugged her. She rubbed his back slowly. He looked at her and smiled. "I love you, Sammy. I will always love you." She nodded. He kissed her again. He held her face in his hands and tried to deepen the kiss. She pulled away and had trouble breathing. His eyes widened. "Are you ok?"

Alan stood up and calmed her down. He looked at Sirius. "What the hell is your problem? You know she is having trouble with being touched. Why would you do that?"

He gulped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset her."

She wiped the hair off of her face and gave him a small smile. "I-I'm fine. Its ok, Sirius. I'm ok." He nodded slowly. "I promise that you can still talk to me when you need to and I promise I will always care about you."

Sirius smiled. "I know, Sammy."

"So, are we ok?" He nodded. "That's good to know."

He looked at her. "How are you going to explain your lack of voice to everyone?"

"That will be easy, Mr. Black." They turned their heads and saw Dumbledore smiling at them. "It is an easy explanation. You will tell them that Samantha is under a healing charm for her heart condition and a side effect is losing her voice." They nodded. "Do not worry, Mrs. Black. I shall give the same explanation to each of your professors."

She smiled. "Thank you, Professor."

"I have one other question or request." They looked at Sirius. "Can I be there when you perform the incantation?"

Sam shook her head. "No, you can't. I have to do it alone."

Sirius sighed. "Ok, I guess, I understand." She nodded. "Can you make me another promise, Sammy?" She looked at him closely. "Can I be the first person you talk to when you get your voice back?"

She smiled. "I promise, Sirius."

He smiled. "Thank you, Sammy."

"It's not a problem, Sirius."

Andrew leaned in to whisper in Alan's ear. "I have no idea why we are here. They seem to be doing fine on their own."

Alan smiled. "They need us, Andrew. The tough part has yet to come."

* * *

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* * *

Sam walked towards Dumbledore's office and sighed. Tonight was the night she would do the incantation. She received an owl from Alan. He told her that they had to have another session before she went through with her plans. She reached the statue but stopped when she heard footsteps. She turned around and her eyes widened. "What are you doing here?"

James shrugged. "I have no idea. I got an owl from some guy named Dr. Finklebot. He said I had to come to Dumbledore's office tonight so he could talk to me." She looked at him in surprise. "Do you know who he is?" She nodded slowly. He gave her a look. "Well, are you going to tell me who he is or not?"

She sighed. "He is my counselor."

He nodded. "Do you know why he wants to see me?" She shook her head. He sighed. "Let's get this over with. I have things to do."

She rolled her eyes. "So do I." He scoffed. She glared at him. "I do have things to do!"

"Sitting in the corner and reading a book doesn't count as things to do!"

"Sitting in your room and masturbating don't count as things to do either!"

James sneered. "I hate you!"

Sam shrugged. "That's nice! I hate you too! It's good to know that we still have things in common after everything!"

He glared at her. "It is nice, isn't it?" She rolled her eyes. "Come on! Let's get this over with! The sooner we get this over with the better!"

She nodded. "After you, your majesty!"

They walked into Dumbledore's office and Alan smiled at them. "Hello Sam."

Sam smiled and walked away from James. "Hello Alan."

Alan smiled at James. "Hello James. It's nice to meet you."

James nodded slowly. "Hello…Dr. Finklebot." He sighed. "Why am I here?"

He smiled again. "I wanted one last session with Sam before her silence kicks in. I thought this would be a good time to have a joint session with the two of you."

He looked at him oddly. "What are you talking about? What silence is she going to have that kicks in?"

Alan looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you told people?"

She shrugged. "I did. I told everyone that cared to listen. He wasn't one of them."

James groaned. "What is this about?" Alan sighed. They sat down and James listened to his explanation of Sam's soon-to-be silence. His eyes widened as he looked at her. "Grandma wrote you a letter?" She nodded. "Why didn't you tell me about this? You told everyone but me! Why?"

Sam shrugged again. "I didn't think you'd care."

"Of course I'd care! She's my grandmother too!" She sighed. "I deserve the chance to get to know her too!"

He smiled at her. "Well, now, you know who to choose who you are going to share this with."

Sam gave him an incredulous look. "I am _not_ choosing him!"

He glared at her. "How can you be so selfish?" He let out a bitter laugh. "I forgot who I was talking to! This is just typical Sammy! She has to be the center of attention and doesn't care about anyone but herself!"

"That's a lie! I don't want to be the center of attention! I care about people! You are the one that doesn't care about anyone!"

James sneered. "That's complete bullshit! I care about people!"

She laughed. "You only care about yourself and Sirius! You never cared about anyone else!"

"I care about Mum and Dad! I also care about my friends and Lily!"

"You didn't mention Sam." They looked at him. "You didn't mention your sister. Why is that James?"

He shrugged. "I did care about her."

She scoffed. "You are such a liar! You never cared about me!" They looked at her in disbelief. She sighed. "You only cared about me when I was dating someone."

He rolled his eyes. "You only dated my friends!" She gave him a look. "Patrick doesn't count! You weren't serious about him!" She shrugged. "Why did you have to go out with all of my friends? Why couldn't you leave them alone?"

"It was the only way you would even pay attention to me!"

Their eyes widened. "Sam, what are you saying?" Alan asked slowly.

Sam sighed. "Once you started Hogwarts, it seemed like you didn't care about me anymore." James stared at her. "You wrote to me every day at first but then, you stopped. You paid more attention to your friends but I was your friend first!" He blinked in surprise. "I thought when I came here, we would go back to normal but that didn't happen. You continued to ignore me. We weren't friends anymore. I was just your stupid sister that tried to follow you around. You didn't care about what I did or who I was friends with. You just cared that I wasn't around."

"You ignored me. I pulled that prank on you and you ignored me." She shrugged. "I was mad at myself for months because you wouldn't talk to me. I thought you hated me forever."

Alan cleared his throat. They looked at him. "Sam, did you only go out with Remus and Sirius to get James' attention?"

Sam shook her head slowly. "No, I didn't. That was just a bonus." James looked at the ground. "I knew he would be overprotective of me if I went out with them." She sighed. "I just wanted my friend back. I didn't know things would turn out like they did." She sighed again. "I lo…lo…lo…_cared_ about Remus and Sirius. I always will. I went out with them because I cared about them but the added bonus was that I would get to spend time with him."

James gulped. "Is this true?" She wouldn't look at him as she nodded. "I did pay attention to you, Sammy. I just thought you wanted space from me."

"Don't call me Sammy. Only people that care about me can call me that."

He glared at her. "I only care about people who don't shit on my friends!"

She looked at him. "I didn't shit on anyone! I lo…_care_ about Sirius!"

James looked at her closely. "You really can't say love, can you?" She shrugged. "I'm going to hug you so tight. You won't be able to get away from my hug." She started to hyperventilate. His eyes widened. "You can't stand to be touched, can you? Just the thought of it makes you scared, doesn't it?"

Alan groaned. "James, please, don't do that to her." He looked at him. "Sam is having trouble being touched. The mere thought of it makes her anxious. I don't want to spend the entire session trying to help her breathe."

Sam sighed. "I'm fine."

James eyed her closely and smirked when he stood up. "Come here, Sam." She gave him an odd look. He opened his arms and chased her around the office. "Give me a hug, Sammy!" Her eyes widened and she ran around the room to get away from him. Alan rolled his eyes and held in a laugh. They looked like idiots. He followed her closely and she was having trouble catching her breath. "Give your big brother a big hug! You know you want me to give you a tight hug that will last for hours!"

She was gasping for air as she ran around the desk. "J-James, s-stop it! T-This isn't f-f-funny!"

He smirked again when she became trapped in the corner of the room. "You want a tight hug, Sammy! I will give you the biggest hug of your life!"

Her eyes were wide as she hyperventilated. "G-Go away, J-James!" He came closer and she couldn't feel her fingers when he hugged her. She pushed him away as hard as she could. He staggered away from her. "Don't touch me!" She shrieked. "I can't be touched!"

Alan stood up and walked over to them. He pushed James out of the way and stood in front of Sam. "Just breathe, Sam. Follow me back to your seat and put your head between your knees." James scoffed. Sam followed him and did as she was told. He glared at him. "What the hell was that about? Why would you do that to her? I warned you about doing that! What is it with everyone around here? Why do people insist on terrifying her when you know she has a problem being touched?"

He shrugged. "I had to be sure."

He shook his head and looked at him in disgust. "I thought Sam was exaggerating when she told me about you people forcing her into hugs and describing how much you all would touch her but I was wrong!" Sam started to calm down and Alan looked at her. "Are you ok now?" She nodded slowly. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you." She shrugged. He looked at James when he scoffed. "What?"

James rolled his eyes. "It's nothing really. It's just Sam trying to be the center of attention and succeeding once again."

Alan's lip curled. "What is your problem with her?"

He let out a tiny laugh. "Where should I begin?"

"Start anywhere you'd like."

"When we were kids, she would steal my toys and play with them."

She sighed. "That's a lie. He said I could play with them. We used to share everything back then."

He glared at her when he sat down in the chair next to her. "You stole my friends!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I didn't steal your friends! Most of your friends were my friends first! I met Frank, Kevin, Chris, and Michael before you! You met them and became friends because of me!"

James sneered. "You bewitched two of my best friends!"

Alan laughed. "She _bewitched_ them?" He nodded. "How did she do that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know! Why don't you ask her?"

"I didn't bewitch anyone!"

"That's bullshit! You did bewitch them! You did it once you met them!"

She rolled her eyes again. "You're crazy! I was ten and twelve respectively! How could I bewitch someone when I didn't think they even noticed me?"

"You hurt them!"

She growled. "They hurt me! Remus said he cared about me but that didn't stop him from cheating on me when we thought I was pregnant! Sirius claimed I was the only one but he cheated on me too! I would have done anything for them but they broke my heart without a second thought!"

James groaned. "They regretted it but you couldn't forgive them!"

"How could I? They broke my heart but that didn't matter to you! You chose them over me! You always choose them over me!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do!"

Alan rubbed his eyes. "James, what other issues do you have with Sam?"

He gritted his teeth. "She had to go and date my friends!" Alan motioned for him to continue. "She had to date someone first."

"You dated people before I did."

"Sam, let him talk."

James sighed. "She had to have sex first."

Sam blushed. "Remus and I cared for each other. We rushed things but waited until we were ready to do it again."

He rolled his eyes. "You waited for a whole month! You couldn't keep your legs closed long enough and that's why you thought you were pregnant! If you would have had some self control and stop whoring yourself around then you wouldn't have been in that situation!"

Sam glared at the ground. "I'm not a whore."

James laughed. "Yes, you are! Who haven't you slept with?"

"That's enough!" They looked at Alan. He glared at James. "Your sister isn't a whore! She has slept with two people only. Yes, she did go from guy to guy but she has only slept with two people!" James rolled his eyes. "I'm not biased against you for your problems with her. She can tell you that. I don't have a grudge against you but I will stop you from attacking her. You can be angry with her but I won't let you attack her like that."

He smirked at her. "Are you fucking him too?"

Alan leaned forward and smacked him upside his head. "Don't talk to her like that!" James glared at him. "You may be angry with her but show her some damn respect! After what she is going to do for you, she deserves at least that much!" He looked confused. "You may continue."

James gritted his teeth. "She had to get married first!"

She looked at him. "You convinced me to marry him! It was your idea!"

He groaned. "I know it was but I didn't think you would leave him at the first sign of trouble! How selfish can you be?"

Sam glared at him. "I'm not selfish! You are selfish!"

"Sam, tell him what your problem is with him."

She sighed. "Well, besides ignoring me, he didn't protect me."

"Yes, I did!"

"No, you didn't!"

Alan held in a groan. "James, let her speak!"

Sam took a deep breath. "Sirius treated me like crap after we started going out. He was acting…not like himself. He cheated on me. When he broke up with me, James took his side. He just assumed it was my fault. He found out about what he did and what he said to me when he dumped me without warning and he still chose Sirius over me."

"That's a lie! I had a fight with Remus and Sirius about how they treated you and how they hurt you!"

"James, be quiet! Let her talk!"

She looked at her brother. "You knew what Sirius did. You knew his actions almost got Michael and I killed. You didn't say a damn thing! You got mad at me for leaving when it was his fault. You didn't say a word to me about what he did. You didn't even tell me on our wedding day!"

James sighed. "I found out the night of the attack. It was after we came home."

"And, when did you tell me?" He sighed again. "That's right! You didn't tell me! He told me after _shagging_ me on our wedding night!" He groaned. "You chose to protect him over me!"

"He is my brother!"

"You were my brother first, James!"

He fell silent. Alan stared between them. "Sam, I would like you to continue."

She looked at James. "We were close once. We were more than just brother and sister. We were best friends." He looked at her for a moment before looking at the ground. "When you started to ignore me, you made me think that I wasn't good enough. I thought that if you didn't want me, who would?"

Alan sighed. "Is that why you started to feel like you weren't good enough?" She nodded slowly. "Is that why you thought you could only be alright if your boyfriend accepted you?"

Sam sighed. She looked at Alan with a small smile. "We had another break through, didn't we?" He laughed and nodded. She looked at James. "I'm not trying to blame all my problems on you. They are my problems but you-"

James growled. "That's it! This is complete bullshit!" He glared at her. "The reason you thought you weren't good enough is because you aren't! You weren't good enough to be my sister or my friend!" Her eyes widened. "You were just an annoyance I had to deal with! Mum and Dad told me that we had to be friends! I wanted to find real friends but I was forced to be stuck with you! You are weak and pointless! You should have never been born!" Alan blinked in surprise. Sam was silent. She stared ahead. She was too shocked to say anything. "You should have stayed at St. Mungo's because we would all be better off if we didn't have to come to your rescue all the damn time!" He was fuming. "Snape attacked you not because of what Sirius said! That was only a small part of it! He attacked you because of the games you played! You flaunted yourself around like a whore and got what you deserved!" She bit her lip. He smirked. "I know about your _accident_ at St. Mungo's, Sam." She gulped. "It's too bad you didn't succeed!" Her chin trembled. "We would all be better off if you did succeed! You should just use your wand and finish the job right now!" He stopped talking when she punched him in the mouth. The force of the punch caused him to fall backwards over the chair. He stumbled to stand up. He glared at her while holding his jaw. "You bitch! That hurt!" She shrugged. "I will kick your ass for this!" He ran up to her and smacked her. She winced but held her ground. He sneered at her before slapping her again. "I'm so sick and tired of you and your problems!"

She rubbed her cheek and looked at him with dead eyes. "You don't hit that hard. Sirius hits harder. So does Harold. At least I staggered after he hit me."

"They didn't hit you! They would never hit you!"

Alan grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and got in his face. "Yes, they did! Your mother told me they did!" His eyes widened. "And, if you ever hit Sam like that again, I won't be able to stop myself from hurting you!" He let him go. "You are her fucking brother! How could you think those things about her let alone say them to her? She is willing to lose everything just so you are safe!"

Sam cleared her throat. "He doesn't know about that." Alan looked at her. "I would prefer it if he didn't."

He looked at them in confusion. "What are you talking about now?" They didn't say anything. He looked at her. "What is he talking about, Sam?"

She sighed. "I think its time that I go. It's getting late and I need to start preparing before I perform the incantation."

Alan nodded. "I understand. You may go." She nodded. "I will see you at our next session."

James grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. "You aren't going anywhere!" He raised his hand and she flinched. He let her arm go. "What did he mean?"

Sam looked at the ground. "Why do you need to know, James? Even if I told you, you wouldn't care." Her eyes rested on him. "You never did care about me."

His face contorted in anger. "I did care about you until you ratted me out to Lily!" She looked at him in disbelief. "Why did you have to do that? Why couldn't you protect me?"

She smirked. "Like you protected me?" He looked at her in surprise. "You protected Sirius from being hurt by me and I protected Lily from being hurt by you."

"I'd never hurt Lily!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "You did hurt her! When you chose to lie, you hurt us! She cares so much about you but you threw it all away when you chose to try and protect Sirius."

"It's your fault she broke up with me!"

She groaned. "That was your own fault!" He scoffed. "If I did to Sirius what he did to me, would you have told him once you found out? Would you have told him the truth?" He nodded without a second thought. "So, why is it ok for you to do that but not for me?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's just different!" She gave him a look. "She hates me!"

Sam laughed. "How clueless are you?" He glared at her. "She doesn't hate you, moron! She still wants to be with you but she is waiting for you to get your head out of your ass! From the looks of it, she has a long wait ahead."

James glared at her before smiling. "Do you really think so? Do you think she still loves me?"

She sighed. "I don't know why I'm trying to make you feel better." She muttered. She looked at him. "I know she still wants you. She will always want you. You are it for her."

"How do you know this?"

She rolled her eyes. "If I dream it, it comes true."

His head cocked to the side. "If you dream it?" She nodded slowly. "Can I ask you something?" She shook her head. He sighed. "Come on, Sam."

"What do you want, James? You better make it fast! I have to make your dream come true and become invisible."

James sighed. "What did you see in that dream?"

Sam rolled her eyes again. "You will have to be more specific. I've had a lot of dreams."

His eyes narrowed. "You know which dream I'm talking about, Samantha!"

She nodded. "Yes, I know what dream you are talking about but I'm not telling you what I saw."

"Why the hell not?"

"I only confide in people I trust and care about! You are neither!"

He smirked. "You still care about me!" She shook her head. "Yes, you do! Otherwise, you wouldn't have tried to reassure me that Lily was coming back to me!" She sighed. "What did you see, Sam? What did you see in that dream that made you get sent away the first time?"

She sighed. "I have to go."

James grabbed her arm but she moved away. "You aren't leaving until you tell me the truth!"

Alan pulled him off of her when James raised his hand and she flinched. "You will stop grabbing her!" James glared at him. "I'm getting sick of telling you this!"

"What's your problem? You aren't our father! You can't tell me what to do!"

He sneered. "Your father isn't here! I am here! Your father decided to give Sam up and now, all she has is me!" James growled. Sam looked at Alan in surprise. "Your family, except your mother, gave up on her! All she had was herself when she was at St. Mungo's. She tried to kill herself because of what happened! You gave up on her! I never will!" Her eyes widened. He looked at her. "I know I can be a hard ass and I can challenge you too much but I won't give up on you like your family did!" She nodded quickly. He glared at James. "You have a loyal sister and you took that for granted! You chose to protect your _friend_ over your own flesh and blood! She did the right thing by telling Lily the truth! She should have heard it from you! Sam should have heard it from Sirius before they got married! When you saw that Sirius didn't plan on telling her, you should have been her brother and told her!" James gritted his teeth. "You were her only friend. You were her only true friend but you ignored her when Sirius came along. All she wanted was your approval. She wanted you to keep being her friend but you were too selfish to do that! You are the selfish one, not Sam! She isn't perfect! She is far from perfect but that doesn't excuse your actions! You are part of the reason why she seeks approval from guys that aren't worth even a quarter of her! You were her best friend, James! You were the one she ran to but you threw that away! If anyone should be angry at someone, it should be Sam angry at you!"

James looked at the ground. "Don't blame her craziness on me! It's her own fault!"

Sam sighed. "This is pointless, Alan. He's never cared about me and he never will." James looked at her when she sounded defeated. "I appreciate what you said though. It's nice to know that someone besides my friends and husband care about me."

He smiled. "It's nothing. You are a strong woman, Sam. You will only get stronger."

He stared at his sister. "You called Sirius your husband." She shrugged. "Do you still love him?" She nodded slowly. "Then why aren't you with him?"

"He has hurt me and I have hurt him. There is just too much pain between us. I don't want to cause him anymore pain. I don't want to hurt anyone."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "You mean that, don't you?" She nodded. He sighed. "How are you?" She looked at him oddly. "I saw how you reacted after you bumped into Snape. Are you ok?"

She sighed. "I'm fine now. Sirius helped out a lot." He nodded slowly. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "I was just asking." She shrugged. "Do you really think Lily will come back to me?" She nodded again. He smiled. "That's good to know." She gave him an impatient look. "What did you see in that dream, Sammy?"

Sam glared at him. "I told you not to call me that!" He nodded. "I'm not going to tell you. You wouldn't care even if I did."

James was silent. Everything was starting to finally sink in. He looked at her in surprise. "You told Lily the truth because she deserved to know." She looked at him oddly. "I should have told you. I should have protected you." She sighed. "You…you tried to kill yourself not just because of that letter but because you thought Dad and I gave up on you. We chose Sirius over you and you tried to kill yourself." She wouldn't look at him. "We love you and Sirius, Sam." She sneered. "Sam-"

"That's enough! I have to go!"

He went to grab her but Alan stopped him. "I believe I warned you about doing that!"

He gulped. "Yes, you did." He looked at her. "I should have told you the truth." She looked at him in surprise. "I shouldn't have ignored you. You would have turned out normal if I was a better brother."

Sam glared at him. "I'm not a freak!"

His eyes widened. "I didn't say that! I know you aren't a freak!" She rolled her eyes. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She gave him a look. "I'm sorry, _Sam_." She nodded. "Do you forgive me?"

"No, I don't." His face fell. "I can't forgive you. The things you said-" She took a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt anyone, James. I don't want to hurt you either." He nodded slowly. "As much as I wish I could forgive and forget everything, I can't. I'm trying to let go but I can't right now."

James sighed in defeat. "When will you be able to?" She shrugged. He looked at her closely. "I promise I will be a better brother to you. I will be a better friend."

She let out a bitter laugh. "How long will it last this time?"

He groaned. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She shrugged. "Will you forgive me before you die?" She gulped. His eyes widened. "That's it, isn't it?" She wouldn't look at him. "Sam, tell me the truth! Did you see your death in that dream?"

"James, I have to go."

"No, you don't! There is still a few more hours before midnight! If you can't forgive me then at least tell me the truth about what you saw in that dream!"

Alan sighed. "Sam, it's time to tell someone."

Sam looked at him. "I did tell someone. I told you." He gave her a look. She sighed before looking at James. "Yes, I did, James."

He gasped. "Sammy, you must have it wrong!" She shook her head. "Tell me!"

She took a deep breath. "I saw you, Lily, and Sirius die." He paled. "There is a way to prevent all of that."

"What is it? How can it be prevented?"

Sam looked him in the eye. "I have to die."

James shook his head. "No, I don't accept that! You can't die! I won't allow it!"

"There is nothing you can do. It's either the three of you dying or me. I chose me. So, you are right. I am selfish."

He was pale. "You…you aren't selfish, are you?" She rolled her eyes. "Sam, I don't want you to die."

"That's a nice change. You just said I should kill myself."

"I didn't mean it! I don't want you to die! You are my little sister!"

She glared at him. "You said I wasn't your sister anymore! You gave up on me when I needed you! We aren't brother and sister anymore! That was your choice, not mine!"

He shook his head. "I-I didn't mean it!"

Her chin trembled. "You are only saying that because you found out the truth!" He shook his head. She started to cry. "I don't want to die! I don't want to leave everyone!" Her cries grew loud. "I'm so scared to die! I'm so scared but I don't want the three of you hurt because I'm scared!"

James took a step closer to her and went to hug her but she flinched. He sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you, Sammy. I'm sorry I hit you. You didn't deserve it." She went to stand next to Alan. "I just want to comfort you."

Sam wiped her eyes. "You shouldn't have seen that. I shouldn't have cried in front of you." He shook his head. "You can't tell anyone, James. You can't tell Sirius."

"I-I won't." She nodded. "When do you die, Sammy?"

She shook her head. "That's something you can't know."

"Why not?"

She sighed. "No one knows and that's the way it has to be." He looked at her closely. "It won't be for a while, ok? I have…a lot of time left." He nodded. She looked at him. "You can't tell anyone." He nodded again. "No, I mean it, James! You can't tell anyone about my _accident_ at St. Mungo's and about my vision. You can't tell anyone especially Sirius."

James gulped. "Why can't I tell him?"

Sam sighed again. "If he knows, my death will be pointless because he will get himself killed trying to protect me."

He looked at her closely. "Why did you tell me? Aren't you worried that I will try to protect you as well?"

She laughed. "I know you could careless if I died." He had a pained look on his face. She rolled her eyes. "It's a little late for you to try and be my big brother, James. You had your chance and now, it's gone. All I need from you is…I just need you to swear that you won't tell anyone about what you found out."

James nodded slowly. "I swear to you that I won't say anything to anyone…especially Sirius."

Sam nodded before looking at Alan. "Are we still meeting next week?"

Alan nodded and smiled. "Yes, we are." She smiled. "It will be nice to speak without having you interrupt."

She laughed. "You'll miss hearing me speak and you know it."

He smirked. "We'll see. I doubt it but we'll see."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll see you next week, Alan." She looked at James and sighed. "I'll see you around, James."

James looked at her. "That's it? That's all you are going to say to me?"

Sam shrugged. "What else is there to say?"

He glared at her. "You try yourself, you tell me that that doesn't matter because you are going to die anyway so Sirius, Lily, and I won't die and all you say to me is 'I'll see you around'?"

"What is there to say?"

James shook his head. "Tell me that you will forgive me."

"I can't do that. I can't make any promises. I don't want to make any promises that I can't keep. There is no point in giving you false hope."

He gulped. "I see."

She sighed. "I should go. I have to get the supplies together and set up for the incantation."

Alan looked at her. "Don't forget that you start running tomorrow night." She nodded. "Dumbledore has arranged for Madam Hooch to supervise you."

She smiled. "Thank you, Alan. I promise I will run like I'm supposed to."

He nodded and she was gone. He looked at James when he sat down with a sigh. "It's finally sunk in, hasn't it?" James looked up at him. "You finally realized that she did the right thing by telling Lily the truth." He nodded slowly. "You know now that it should have been you. You should have been the one to tell the truth when Sirius didn't." He nodded again. "Would you like to talk about it?"

He sighed. "I don't need counseling, Alan."

Alan sat down across from him. "Humor me, James. And, it's Dr. Finklebot to you."

James resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I realize now that I failed in protecting Lily and Sam. Sirius swore to me that he would tell her. I kept telling him he had to but he said he would when the time was right." Alan nodded. "I thought that if Sammy and Sirius could get back together despite all that has happened before then there was hope for us all. I was mad at her for giving up and telling Lily. All along I should have been the one to open my mouth and tell the truth. Sirius would have been mad at me but he would have gotten over it."

"After everything you learned here tonight, what do you think? How do you feel?"

He shrugged. "I feel like shit." Alan smiled. "My sister tried to kill herself, she has chosen to let herself die to protect me and she hates me. I feel like utter shit."

"That's good."

He looked at him in disbelief. "How is that good?"

His smile grew. "It means that you have a brain and a heart." James gave him a look. "How does it feel to know that you were wrong about Sam all along?"

James sighed. "It feels fucking great!" Alan raised an eyebrow. He looked at him with anxious eyes. "Sammy isn't strong enough to deal with this."

Alan rolled his eyes. "You continue to underestimate your sister, James. That outburst she had was left over fear. She is still coming to terms with her death but she has accepted it for the most part. She has her weak moments like anyone but she is becoming stronger. Sam is maturing and growing stronger by the minute. It would be wise for you to realize that." He nodded slowly. "She is strong in strength but lacks emotional strength. This vow of silence she is taking will help her with that, I believe."

"I am a terrible brother."

"Yes, you are." James glared at him. Alan shrugged. "What? Did you expect me to disagree with you?" James shrugged. "You beat her while she was down and continued to do so but stopped when you found out about the big sacrifice she plans to make for you and the others. You've treated her like a nuisance when all she wanted was her friend back."

He sighed. "I knew you would take her side over mine."

He smirked. "I'm not biased, James. You can ask Sam if you don't believe me. I call them like I see them. I don't believe in sugar coating things. Sam hated me when we first met because she was used to Andrew holding her hand. She has learned to accept and respect me and my views on situations." James nodded again. "I didn't believe her when she told me how people were treating her but now, she has taught me something. She has taught me that despite it all, she is honest to a fault. She hates to lie. She only does it to protect people when she knows they can't handle the truth. I'll start believing her from now on."

James sighed again. "I do care about my sister, you know?"

Alan eyed him closely. "She isn't your sister anymore, James."

"What are you talking about? Of course she is my sister!"

He shook his head. "No, she isn't. The moment you and your father gave up on her, she stopped being your concern. Sam has had to deal with her impending death, her attempted suicide, and everything else in between on her own. She has had to learn that she has to rely on herself when times get tough because even family can turn their backs on you." James sighed again. "I'm all she has left and even then she doesn't trust in me completely. Everyone she has trusted and loved, with the exception of Lily, has let her down and kicked her to the ground. She only has herself to rely on now because she knows she won't leave herself behind. It's a harsh lesson to learn and no one should learn it but she has."

"She has Mum."

"Your mother has let her down as well. Once she tried to force her to go back to St. Mungo's and how she berated her for choosing Sirius over everything else, she let her down. I'm not saying your mother is a bad person. She stuck by Sam when everyone else left her but she did let her down in some respect. Your mother and Sam are closer than before because of what happened but Sam doesn't trust in that. Your father and Sam were attached at the hip but that didn't stop him from beating her while she was down and disowning her. Sam knows she was at fault too but she has lost that willingness to trust in someone without a second thought. She has learned that she can only rely on herself…unfortunately."

"Will she ever be able to touch and trust again?"

He shrugged. "I'm doing my best to help her get past the traumatic events of the attack so she can be touched again but there is no guaranteed amount of time that will tell us when she will be ok." James nodded. "But with that trust issue, that is lost. People will have to earn her trust. She won't be willing to give it like she used to be." He nodded again. "So, tell me, James. How does it feel to get your wish?" He looked at him in question. "How does it feel to know your sister will die to save you? How does it feel to know that you don't have a little sister anymore? The person who loved you unconditionally now hates you with a passion that only Sirius knew before. How does it feel to be an only child?"

"It feels fucking wonderful!" James muttered sarcastically.

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It was dark and cold. The sky was clear and the stars were bright. There was silence all around except for the occasional howl of wind. Sam sat in the center of the candles and made sure that they were all in the right position. She sighed in relief when everything was where it was supposed to be. "This is it." She muttered. She sat Indian style in the center of the candles and took a deep breath. "I call on my grandmother, Kathleen Harrington-McKenzie to guide me. I call on her to show me the way. Grandmother to granddaughter. Dream seer to dream seer. Take my voice, except in times of danger, to show my commitment. Let her come to me. Let her help me find my way. Let me find myself to guide me on my path of my chosen destiny'."

The winds picked up and howled in Sam's ear. She started to shout the words as the winds grew louder and violent. The candle light flickered but didn't go out. She repeated the words seven times like she was told to do and waited. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. She felt odd. It felt like something was being taken from her. When enough time had passed, she opened her eyes and looked around. The winds had died down. Things were calm was again. "Did it work?" She said. She groaned. "It didn't work! I did everything right but it didn't work!" She stood up and blew out the candles. "I made an ass out of myself for no reason!"

She opened her mouth to continue to rant but all she did was squeak. Her eyes widened and she put a hand to her throat. She tried to speak again but nothing came out. She smiled brightly and jumped up and down in excitement. "_It worked!_" She mouthed. Sam started to dance around. "_I'm free!_" She began to shout and scream but no sound was heard. She settled down and the smile on her face grew. "_I'm free._" She mouthed once again before packing up the supplies and going back to her room.


	71. Chapter 70: Someone Else’s Something

Author's Note: This chapter blows but I do love the first scene. Enjoy!

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Chapter 70: Someone Else's Something.

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"James! James, look at what I found!"

James groaned loudly when he heard his eight year old sister call out to him. He turned to glare at her. "What do you want?"

Sam ran over to him and smiled as she held out her hand. He looked at the object in her hand oddly. "Isn't it great?"

He sneered at the ordinary stick in her tiny hands. "You're excited over a stick?" She continued to smile. He smacked her hand and stepped on the stick and smiled when it broke. "Why are you so weird?"

She blinked in surprise. "I'm not weird, Jimmybean. I'm just like you."

James rolled his eyes. "You are nothing like me!" She looked confused. He groaned again when she looked at him like that. Her chubby cheeks were rosy from the cold and her buck teeth bit her bottom lip. "And, stop calling me that stupid name!"

Her head cocked to the side in confusion. "You like when I call you that. It's your nickname."

He pushed her away when she tried to hug him. She fell to the ground and landed in snow. Her eyes watered as she held her arm. "Stop calling me that!" She nodded quickly. "Why do you have to always follow me around?"

She stood up slowly and smiled at him. "You are my best friend. Best friends stick together no matter what."

James rolled his eyes. "Who told you that?"

"Mama did."

"Well, she lied to you!"

Sam shook her head. "No, she didn't. Mama wouldn't lie." He groaned. "We are best friends, James. We always will be."

He turned his head when the neighborhood muggle kids called his name. "I have to go. Don't follow me this time, Sammy!"

She grabbed his arm. "Mama said we weren't allowed to play with them."

James pulled away from her. "She only said that because of you!"

She nodded. "That's true." He glared at her. She sighed. "They always call me a freak. They say I look like a chipmunk. She said that they are mean and we can't play with them anymore."

"I'm playing with them anyway! You are a freak and you do look like a chipmunk!"

Sam smiled. "You don't mean that, Jimmybean." He glared at her. "James, why are you mad at me?"

He sighed. "I'm not mad at you, Sammy. I just want other friends besides you to play with." She nodded. "I'm going to play with them. Don't follow me. I don't want to stop playing because they made you cry again."

She nodded again. "Ok." She looked after him as he went to join them. "We will always be best friends, James! We love each other!"

James nodded as he motioned for her to leave. "Yes, I know, Sammy." She smiled. "Now, go and hide! They are coming over!" She waved goodbye as she continued to smile. He groaned. "She is such a freak!"

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James woke up with a start. He looked around the darkened room and wiped his brow as he sighed. He flopped back down on his bed and let out a soft groan. He looked at his watch and saw that it was a quarter to two in the morning. He got out of bed and went downstairs. He stretched and sat on the window seat. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He turned his head when he heard the portrait hole close. "Sam?" She jumped and looked at him. "Are you just getting in?" She nodded and went to the stairs. "Did you…?" She sighed and gave him an impatient look. "Did you go through with the incantation?" Her eyebrow rose as she nodded. "Did it work?" She rolled her eyes and went to the stairs. He got up and followed her. "Come on, Sammy." She whipped around and glared at him. His eyes widened. "I'm sorry, _Sam_." She turned away. He touched her arm and she stiffened before pulling away. "I…did it work?" 

Sam sighed and nodded. He eyed her closely. She opened her mouth and tried to scream but all she did was squeak. He looked at her in amazement. "You can't talk!" She gave him an incredulous look. He blushed. "I'm sorry. It's just weird. Usually, you can't shut up…but you haven't been that way since…you came back." She shrugged. "Are you ok?" She shrugged again. He scratched the back of his head and gave her an awkward smile. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok, Sammabelle." She sneered. "I can't call you that either, can I?" She shook her head. He sighed. "Can we talk?" Her head cocked to the side in confusion. He cleared his throat. "While your voice is gone, can I talk to you?" She sighed before shaking her head. He groaned. "Why can't I? Sirius told me that you agreed to talk to him!" She gave him a bored look. "Sam, I just want us to get past this and be friends like we used to be."

She dug in her bag and pulled out a quill and paper. He watched her scribble down a note for him. She handed over the paper and he smiled at her. He looked at the note and his face fell. "_We were never really friends, James._"

James looked down at the ground and crumpled up the note. "You said I was your best friend. You said we will always be best friends."

She took back the crumpled note and smoothed it out. "_Things change. You've changed. I've changed. We've changed._"

He took a deep breath. "Best friends stick together no matter what." She looked at him in question. He smiled at her. "Mama told you that." She nodded slowly. "You used to say it to me all the time."

"_You used to say she lied to me all the time._"

He laughed. "I did, didn't I?" She tapped her watch impatiently. "Oh, that's right! It must be well after two, isn't it?" She nodded. "You must be tired." She nodded again. "Well, I guess you should go to bed then." She went to the stairs. He looked at her. "Goodnight, Sam." She turned her head and nodded in response. "I love you." She didn't look back.

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The boys walked down the hall after classes. James was silent. Sirius stared at him oddly. "Are you ok?" James shrugged in response. He rolled his eyes and nudged him in the shoulder. "Come on, Prongs. Tell me what's going on." James sighed and leaned in to whisper in his ear. Sirius' eyes widened and he let out a low whistle. "That really happened between the two of you?" He nodded slowly. He let out a tiny laugh. "It's nice to know that she hates someone else as much as me. I don't feel so alone anymore." 

James glared at him. "Thanks a lot for the support, Padfoot!"

Sirius laughed again and shrugged. "What do you want me to say?"

He groaned. "I don't know! I just thought you'd support me like I've been supporting you!"

He smiled. "You know I will. There's no doubt about that, James. I just found it amusing that I'm not the only one she hates."

Remus looked at them. "What's going on?" Sirius told him and he laughed. "It looks like you're not alone anymore, Padfoot." Sirius smirked at James. James glared at him. "What? Sam has been mad at you before and has forgiven you. She will forgive you soon enough."

James sighed. "It's different this time. She really does hate me." They looked at him in disbelief. "If you guys were there last night, you would know that she really does hate me. She nearly killed me when I called her Sammy and…that other nickname." They looked at him oddly. "That counselor of hers…Alan, he is…different from Andrew."

Sirius nodded. "Yes, he is." They looked at him. "Alan and Andrew are both there when we have marriage counseling." They nodded. "Alan is alright. He doesn't take sides and tells it like it is." James looked at him in surprise. He shrugged. "He seems like a good guy. I like that he isn't biased against me." They nodded again. "I like him a hell of a lot better than Andrew. At least I know Alan isn't trying to find a way to have sex with Sam." They laughed. "Alan and Sam have this weird relationship. It's like a twisted father-daughter relationship." James sighed. "But she still seems to hold him at a distance. It's really weird." Remus shrugged as James sighed again. Alan's words filled his head. Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. He seems alright to me. He has a tendency to be a prick but he is fine for the most part. I'm just happy that he doesn't want to shag my wife."

They rolled their eyes and laughed. "I'm happy to hear it, Padfoot." Remus said. He bumped into someone and held them up when they were about to fall. He smiled at Mary. "I'm sorry about that, Mary."

Mary smiled at him. "It's ok, Remus. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Are you ok?"

She nodded. "I'm fine." He smiled at her again. She blushed. "I'll see you later, Remus."

He stared after her in confusion. "That was odd." They smirked at him. "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You are so thick!"

He looked utterly confused. "What? What is it?"

James laughed. "How are you so smart yet so dumb?"

Remus glared at them. "Would the two of you just tell me already?"

Sirius looked at him in amusement. "Ok, Moony, now is the time to get your head out of your ass and to clean the shit out of your ears." Remus continued to glare at him. "Mary has a crush on you."

He blinked at them before laughing. "Are you kidding me?" They shook their heads. "You must be joking! She doesn't like me like that!"

James smirked. "She does. She really does."

"How do you know this?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "She keeps smiling at you and only you. She blushes whenever you smile back." Remus looked at him in surprise. "Plus, I overheard her tell Alice and Patty."

His eyes widened as he gulped. "She did?" They nodded. "What do I do?"

They laughed and shook their heads in disbelief. "You know what to do, Moony! You've done it before! You've snogged what's her face, and you dated Sam and Hannah! You know what to do!" James said.

Sirius nodded. "James is right. You've gone out with girls before. Just ask her out."

"I can't do that."

"Why can't you?" They asked.

Remus shrugged. "The last time I went out with someone, it ended badly. I told Hannah the truth and she dumped me."

"Not all girls are like Hannah." James said. "Mary might be different." Remus sighed. "Plus, who says that you have to tell her? Just ask her out and see what happens."

"Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

Sirius shrugged. "So what if she does? That's never stopped me before." James smirked at him. Remus glared. He laughed. "You can't count that incident with Sam while the two of you were together. I was just being a selfish prick then." They nodded. "You cheated on her and she was up for grabs." Remus sneered. "Now, she is married to me. So, that doesn't count."

He rolled his eyes. "I know you are. I was at the wedding." He sighed. "I don't know if I should ask Mary out."

Sirius patted him on the back. "Mate, it's time to get over that crap Hannah pulled. Not all girls are like that." Remus nodded slowly. "And, it's time to let Sam go." Remus looked at him in surprise. He smiled at him. "Yes, I know you're still not over her." He sighed. "It's ok. I know how hard it is to try to get over her. Believe me, I know. I've tried for years but I never could. You can though. You can get over her if you give yourself the chance to."

He nodded slowly. "I'm trying to." Sirius smiled. "I'll think about asking Mary out."

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They were in the common room. They were joking around and laughing. They looked at Sam. She was in the corner and reading the first entries of her grandmother's journal. She yawned. 

"_Dear Diary,_

_Hi, my name is Kathleen Harrington. I'm six years old. My family calls me Katie but I hate that name! I prefer to be called Leeny._" Sam sneered and rolled her eyes. That was an ugly nickname. "_My mum told me that I was something called a dream seer. I had my first vision last night. She gave you to me because of it. I have no idea what a dream seer is. It sounds like it would be boring. I like to think about dragons. They are so big and they can breathe fire!_"

"Sam!"

Sam looked up and saw her friends looking at her. "_What_?" She mouthed.

Frank smirked. "You can't talk anymore, can you?

Kevin laughed. "That's right! She can't talk!"

Patty rolled her eyes. "You already know this! You said the same exact thing at breakfast before you threw toast at her."

"Patty, they are just having some fun with her. They know they have some time before she can attack them." Alice said.

They smirked evilly. Sam eyed them closely. "Sammy, you look a little green." Chris said.

Her eyebrow rose. "_Do I?_"

They nodded. "She kind of looks like a toad!" Frank exclaimed. She rolled her eyes. All day long, the three of them had been teasing her because they knew she couldn't yell at them. "_Sammy is a toad! Sammy is a toad!_" Frank sang. Chris and Kevin joined in. She rolled her eyes and laughed silently as she threw a pillow at them. Frank smiled. "Come on, Sammy! You can read later! Come and join the fun!"

Sirius and James watched the others beckon Sam over. Everyone was teasing her to make her laugh, which was working, and have her join them. Even Remus joined in with them. Sirius stood up. "I'm going to go over there. Are you coming?" He shook his head. "Why not?" He shrugged. He sighed. "Come on, James. Go over there with me. It will be fun."

James watched as Sam joined them and sighed. "I doubt she wants me over there."

Sirius eyed him closely. "When did you start giving a damn about what she wants?"

He glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" He gave him a look. He sighed in defeat. "You're right. Who am I kidding? I never gave a damn before."

"So, are you going to join them with me or not?"

James shook his head. "No, I'm not."

He sighed. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I'm going to start respecting what she wants from now on."

Sirius smiled. "You can still respect her wishes and have fun. There is a time for respect and fun. The two of you share friends. You hanging out together is bound to happen eventually."

"I don't know. I might join them in a minute. You go on ahead." Sirius nodded slowly and left him. He watched him walk over and join the group. Sirius sat on the arm of the chair Sam was sitting on. She looked away from Lily and smiled at him. James sighed when Lily started talking to him while Sam wrote them notes. "You'll forgive me one day, Sammy." He whispered. "At least, I hope you will." He sighed again when he heard the group laugh. "Hopefully, you will forgive me before you die."

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The kids sat on the stairs and watched as their parents danced. They smiled at the sight of them. They were dancing around the living room and Harold would sneak kisses as he dipped Evelyn. Sam looked at the boys. James shook his head. "Don't even think about asking me to dance, Sammy. I won't do it." He whispered. 

Sirius held in a laugh. "He is saving all his dances for Lily!" He said while batting his eyelashes.

James rolled his eyes. "You're an ass."

He nodded. "Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing."

Sam smiled. "Will you dance with me, James?"

He shook his head. "No, I won't." She sighed. "It's stupid. Plus, I'm tired. I'm going to bed." She nodded. He looked at Sirius. "Are you coming?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'll be up in a few minutes." James nodded and went to his room. Sirius turned his gaze to Sam. Her hands were wrapped around the bars of the banister. She stared at her parents dancing with a smile on her face. He licked his lips. "It's nice, isn't it?" She turned her head and looked at him in confusion. He gulped. "Your parents dancing, I mean. It's nice." She gave him a small smile and nodded before looking back at them. "Sammy-"

She turned to look at him. "Sirius, would you like to dance with me?" His eyes widened in surprise. That was the most she said to him since he arrived and he was surprised by how forward she was being. Usually, she would blush whenever she attempted to speak with him and stutter. She sighed and shook her head. "Never mind. It was a dumb idea anyway."

He shook his head. She finally spoke to him without hesitation. She wanted to dance with him and he was blowing it. She thought he didn't want to but he really did want to. "It's not a dumb idea, Sammy. I'd love to dance with you." She smiled in surprise. "It's just that…um…I…"

Sam touched his hand and smiled at him. "What is it, Sirius?"

Sirius looked at her hand on his and blushed. "I don't know how to dance." He mumbled. She giggled. He glared at her. "It's not funny."

She continued to smile at him. "I know it's not." He eyed her closely. "I…uh…I could teach you. Daddy taught me how last summer. I could show you the steps."

"I don't know."

"It's easy! I don't mind showing you!"

He sighed. "Are you sure you don't mind showing me?" Her eyes widened as she shook her head. He smiled. "Ok, you can show me."

They stood up and Sam held his hand. "Ok, place your hand on my waist." He looked at her oddly. She smiled and guided his hand to her waist. He smiled. "Ok, you're doing good." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "No, I mean it. You'll be dancing in no time."

He rolled his eyes again. "We're just standing, Sammy. We're not doing anything yet."

She smiled at him. "We're about to start, Sirius." He nodded slowly. "Ok, slide your left foot forward-ow!" She winced when he stepped on her foot. His eyes widened. "It's ok, Sirius. I'm fine." He nodded slowly. "Let's try it again." He slid his left foot forward as she slid hers back. She smiled at him. "That's very good!" He beamed at her. "Now, you have to do the same thing with your right foot." She winced again when he stepped on her foot again. "Don't worry about it. Just keep going. You're doing fine."

Sirius groaned. "This is pointless! I suck at this!"

Sam laughed. "Sirius, you don't suck at this! It's only your first try! Don't give up so soon! You can do this! I know you can!" He smiled at her. "Are you ready?"

His smile grew. "I'm ready if you are."

She beamed at him. "I'm ready." Harold and Evelyn stopped dancing and smiled at them. "One, two, three…one, two, three." They danced around the hallway and she smiled when he spun her around. "You're doing great!"

He shrugged. "I have a great teacher."

Evelyn smiled. "That's so sweet! It's their first of many dances!"

Harold let out a loud huff. "I don't like it."

She rolled her eyes. "You are too overprotective, Harold. They aren't doing anything wrong. They are just dancing." He sighed. "He'll make a good husband."

He choked. "What did you say?" She smiled at him. "They are just dancing! Why…how does that make you think they are going to get married?"

Evelyn smirked. "Sam is crazy about him. It's obvious he is crazy about her. Plus, it is just this feeling I have. They will be together forever."

Sam's eyes widened when she looked up. They were under the archway and mistletoe hung over them. "I-I…we should move."

Sirius cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Why should we move? Is there something wrong?" He looked up to see what she was staring at and his eyes widened. "Oh."

She blushed. "Now, you see why we should move."

He smiled slowly. "We…uh…we don't have to move." She gulped. He licked his lips. He leaned in and they were so close but he got nervous. This would be his first kiss and he was sure that this was her first kiss as well. He didn't want their first kiss to be in front of her parents. He moved his head and kissed her cheek. Her blush grew. "See? That wasn't so bad."

"Ok, that's enough, you two." They looked away from each other and looked at their parents. Harold was eyeing him closely. He opened his arms and smiled at his daughter. "Come here, Sammy. You can dance with me. Sirius, you can dance with Mrs. Potter."

He nodded slowly and went to stand next to Evelyn. He stared at Sam as she hugged her father. "Would you care to dance, Mrs. Potter?"

Evelyn laughed. "I'd love to, Sirius." She hugged him and he smiled at her. The four of them started to dance. "You are quite the dancer, Sirius."

Sirius gave her a shy smile. "Sam taught me how." She smiled at him. "She is a great teacher."

"I'm sure she is."

He turned his head and smiled when he saw Sam staring at him. She blushed and looked away. "Sammy…there is something special about her, isn't there?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "Yes, there is." She smiled at him. "I'm glad to know that you see it too."

Sirius blushed. "It's hard to miss."

Andrew smiled at him. "That was your first dance together?"

He nodded. "Yes, it was. My first Christmas there and I got to dance with her."

He smiled again. "Why do I get the feeling that you knew how to dance before that moment?"

Sirius laughed and shrugged. "It's probably because I did know how to dance before then. My cousin Andromeda taught me how the summer before I started Hogwarts."

Andrew laughed. "That was very sly of you." He smirked. "You were a great actor. You tricked her very well then." He shrugged again. "Why did you stop yourself from kissing her? You had a golden opportunity and you blew it."

He sighed. "It would have been my first kiss and hers. I didn't want to do it with her parents' right there."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you regret it?" He nodded. "Why do you regret it?"

Sirius rubbed his eyes. "If I didn't chicken out, I would have been her first kiss and she would have been mine. I went back to school and Celeste Marsters kissed me in the hall. She was my first kiss. Two years later, Remus and Sam shared their first kiss together by accident. They started dating a year later." He groaned. "If I would have plucked up the courage to kiss her, who knows what would have happened between us?"

Andrew nodded slowly. "That's right. Who knows what would have happened?" Sirius glared at him. "You could have been her first everything if you would have gone with your instincts."

He sighed. "I know. Believe me, I know." He sighed again. "So many things would be different . . . so many things would be different if I just kissed her that once."

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"_Dear Diary,_

_I know I haven't written in here for a long time but I have exciting news! I just started my first year at Hogwarts and I can already say that I love it here! I have more exciting news! I just met the love of my life! I won't tell you his name just yet. I don't want to jinx anything but I knew I would always love him the moment I saw him. We met in potions. He sat right next to me and smiled. He smiled at me! We talked and I had troubling forming words but it wasn't awkward at all! He seemed to get a kick out of it_!"

Sam smiled at her grandmother's words. She was talking about her grandfather. She turned her head when she heard footsteps. She saw Sirius and smiled. She waved him over. He smiled at her and walked over to her. "_Hi Sirius_." She mouthed.

Sirius' smile grew. "Hi Sammy." He sat down next to her. "How's the reading going?"

She shrugged. "_It's ok_."

He nodded. "Did you read anything interesting?" She started to talk but he stopped her as he smiled. "Baby, hold on!" She continued to talk. He started to laugh. He grabbed her hand to try and get her attention. "Baby, you need to stop!" She looked at him in confusion. He smiled at her as he caressed her cheek. His smile grew when she didn't pull away and leaned into his touch. "I can't understand you." She was still confused. He laughed again. "You forgot that you couldn't talk, didn't you?"

She blushed and nodded. "_Yes, I did. I'm sorry._"

Sirius shrugged and smiled. He kissed her forehead. "It's ok, Sammy. That will happen from time to time." She smiled. "Why don't you write it down?"

Sam nodded again and took the paper and quill by her side and started to write. "_It's not really interesting. It's just…_" She tapped the quill against her thigh as she thought about that right word to use. He smiled at her. "_It's just familiar._" He read her note and nodded slowly. "_Would you like to read what I've read_?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "You really want me to read your grandmother's journal?" She smiled and nodded. His smile grew. "I'd love to. Thank you." She shrugged. He scooted closer to her and read what she pointed out. He laughed. "She met the love of her life in potions?" Sam nodded eagerly. "Why is this familiar?" She rolled her eyes and gave him a look. He blushed. "Oh, I see. She met the love of her life when she was a year older than you when you met yours." She blushed again and nodded. "And, she could barely talk when she met him just like you could barely talk when you met me." She nodded again. "This guy-"

She coughed and handed him another note. "_She was talking about my grandfather._"

Sirius smiled and nodded. "Excuse me. Your grandfather got a kick out of her not being able to talk just like I got a kick out of how you weren't able to talk in front of me."

She rolled her eyes again and he assumed she was laughing. "_Yes, that's it exactly. That's why it was so familiar._"

Sirius leaned in closer to her. "You still have trouble talking when I'm around." He said with a wink.

Sam laughed. "_Whatever you say, Sirius._" He laughed. "_How was your session_?"

He shrugged. "It was alright."

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "_Is everything alright? Was it a bad session? Did you and Andrew fight_?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, we didn't fight. We get along for the most part. I don't like him. I have to deal with him though." She nodded slowly. "I still think he wants to try and sleep with you." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Who wouldn't want to try to be with you, Sammy?" She rolled her eyes again. "You're great, Sammy." He kissed her cheek. "I know you're great."

"_You're not so bad yourself, Black_."

He smirked. "I'm glad you think so. Of course, I already knew this."

Sam shook with silent laughter. "_Would you like to talk about your session_?" He shrugged. "_I understand if you don't want to talk about it with me. You can go and find James if you would prefer it._"

He shook his head. "No, it's not like that at all. There is just nothing to say about it." She nodded slowly. "We talked about different things. We discussed the first dance you and I had." She looked at him oddly. "Don't you remember?" Her face scrunched up in confusion. "The first time I came home for Christmas. It was Christmas night." She blinked in confusion. "Come on, Sammy! We've only been doing that since we've met!"

She bit her lip and smiled. "_I know, Sirius! I remember that night! How could I forget_?"

Sirius smiled when she winked at him. He kissed the back of her hand. "I'm glad you remember." She shrugged and tried to hide her blush. He felt giddy when he saw her blush. "I should tell you something." She looked at him with interest. "I promised to be honest with you and you should know this."

Sam nodded slowly. "_Is it bad_?" He shook his head. "_You can tell me anything you want. You know now that I won't beat you up…right away_." He smirked and nodded. "_What do you have to tell me_?"

He reminded her of their first dance and how she taught him the steps. She nodded slowly. "Well, the truth of the matter is…I lied to you." Her head cocked to the side. "I knew how to dance then. Andy taught me the summer before I came here."

"_So, you've been lying to me from the beginning_."

His eyes widened as he shook his head. "No, it's not like that at all, Sammy! It's just…that was the first time you talked to me on your own without hesitation or with you stuttering! I just wanted to be next to you and that seemed to be the only way to make it happen!"

She punched his arm and appeared to be laughing. "_Sirius, I was only joking around! I…that was sweet._" He smiled in surprise. "_That is probably the sweetest thing I've heard you say to me…besides when you told me about how you smelled my scent in potions the time you learned about love potions._"

"Do you mean that, Sammy?"

She nodded. "_I mean it, Sirius. I really do mean it._"

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Remus was sitting in the corner of the common room and reading a book. He sighed. No one was around. All his friends were off with their significant others or following them around like James and Sirius were doing with Lily and Sam. He rubbed his eyes and closed his book. He was lonely. He seemed to be the only one without someone to love. He sighed again. He was in love with someone. He was in love with Sam but she was married to his best friend. She was Sirius' wife now and nothing could change that. No matter what happened between them or how much she claimed to hate him, she would always love Sirius. There was nothing anyone, including her, could do to change that. They had a bond that could never be broken. Yes, Remus knew that she still loved him. She told him so. Sam told Remus that she always would love him but that didn't matter. She was someone else's wife. 

As much as he wanted to try and get her back, he knew that there was no use for that. Sam would never cheat on anyone, especially Sirius. She was fiercely loyal to the ones she loved and there was no way to stop her from being faithful even if she did want to kill her husband. He let out a tiny groan. There was no point in keeping his love for her. She was gone. He had his chance to get back with her but he blew it. He had to get over her. It wasn't healthy to still love someone who has clearly moved on. It's just that he didn't want to get over her. She told him that he would always have a special place in her heart and he knew that she would always be in his heart. "This sucks." He muttered.

Mary walked down the stairs and blushed when she saw Remus sitting in the corner staring off into space. She took a deep breath before walking over to him. "Hi Remus." He jumped and smiled at her. She sat down next to him. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "I'm not doing a thing actually. I tried reading my book but I couldn't concentrate."

She nodded slowly. "Is there a reason why you couldn't concentrate?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "N-No, not really." She nodded again. "Why are you here all alone? Why aren't you with Jason?" She sneered. His eyes widened. "Is there trouble in paradise, Mary?"

Mary let out a bitter laugh. "There is no paradise anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

She gritted her teeth. "That asshole took my virginity and then, dumped me!" His eyes widened. She looked at him closely. "He said he loved me and wanted to marry me. I was with him for a year before we slept together. We slept together a few more times and…over holiday; I received an owl from him. He said it was fun but I wasn't what he wanted anymore." He sighed. "Remus, can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Do all guys act that way? Do you men just get what you want and then leave even though you know you are breaking someone's heart?"

Remus gulped. "Well…uh…I-I don't know what to tell you, Mary." She sighed in defeat. He gave her a small smile. "Not every guy you meet will break your heart. There are some decent ones out there."

Mary's eyebrow rose. "You're a decent guy, Remus." He blushed and shrugged. "But that didn't stop you from cheating on Sam…someone you claimed to love." He blinked in surprise. She leaned forward and glared at him. "Did you even love her? Did you even care that your actions broke her heart?"

He coughed. "Mary, you've got it all wrong! I did love Sam! I still do and probably always will!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm being honest! Sam meant and still means a great deal to me!" He sighed. "When I cheated on her…there were circumstances-"

"You thought she was pregnant."

Remus nodded slowly. "That is true." She motioned for him to continue. "Sam told me there was a chance she was pregnant. When she told me that, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to keep my fears bottled up because she needed me to be strong and she needed me to comfort her." She nodded. "I chose not to go with her to get her results like an idiot. I made her go alone." He looked at the ground. "I was upset and got drunk. Hannah found me on the astronomy tower. I started to cry because I was scared." He sighed. "She kissed me first but I let it continue. Sam was looking for me. She looked everywhere. She went to the astronomy tower because that was a special place for us." He took a deep breath. "She saw me with my hands in Hannah's shirt-" He gulped. "I'll never forget the look on her face." Mary stared at him intently. "It was like the light in her eyes went out. The happiness that was always on her face was gone." He looked at her. "I was the one that caused that to happen. I broke the only girl I ever loved's heart." She had a pained look on her face that matched his. "She broke up with me-"

"You deserved it! She loved and trusted you and you broke that! You were her first everything! She wanted to marry you!"

He groaned. "Don't you think I know that?" She jumped when he yelled. "I deserved it when she broke up with me! I deserved her to beat me down but she didn't! For some reason, she gave me an easy out! She wanted me to be guilt free but I wasn't! Every day since she broke up with me, I felt guilty for what I did to her! If I could take back all the crap I put her through, all the shit I said to her, I would!" He groaned again. "Besides the guys, she was and still is the only person that ever truly understands me! I broke her heart and I broke her trust in me! There is no way I could ever make up for that but for some reason, she forgave me! She still wanted me to be in her life! I got lucky with that! I was lucky enough to have someone as special as her in my life!" She nodded again. "So, to answer your question, there are decent guys out there, Mary. There are guys who would never do what Jason did to you but…even decent guys make mistakes!"

"But you broke her heart! She trusted you-"

"Who are we talking about, Mary? You keep saying Sam's name but I think we are talking about you!"

Mary growled. "We are talking about Sam!" He looked at her. Her chin trembled. "And, we are talking about me." He nodded slowly. "He broke my heart, Remus. He was the only person I ever loved and he broke my heart."

Remus nodded slowly and hugged her as she cried. "I know he did, Mary. I know he did." He wiped her eyes. "You'll fall in love again."

"I don't want to care about anyone again."

He laughed. "So, I guess that rumor about you having a crush on me was a lie."

She blushed. "That…is true." His eyes widened. "I just didn't want you to find out."

Remus smiled. "It's ok, Mary. I'm irresistible to women." She laughed and pushed his shoulder. They started laughing but stopped when they started to kiss. Their eyes widened and pulled away. "I-I shouldn't have done that. I'm still in love with Sam."

She nodded. "And, I'm still in love with Jason…that asshole."

"If something did happen between us, I wouldn't want it to be a rebound relationship."

Mary smiled. "Neither would I."

They leaned in and kissed again. He smiled at her. "That didn't fell like a rebound."

She shook her head. "No, it didn't." They kissed. "That was nice." He nodded. "Whatever this is, I like it."

He smiled again. "So do I."

"We can't tell anyone about…whatever this is…especially Sam." He nodded eagerly. "I know she still loves you, Remus. I know you still love her."

Remus wiped her eyes again. "Yes, I do. And, you still love Jason." She groaned as she nodded. "I can keep a secret. No one will ever know we kissed."

"Maybe…after some time…something could happen between us."

"That would be nice." She smiled. "We just have to wait and see."

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"Leave me alone, Potter! I don't want to talk to you!" 

James sighed. He had been following Lily around all day and kept trying to talk to her but she wouldn't speak to him except to tell him to leave her alone. "Lily, please, just talk to me!" She tried to walk around him but he wouldn't let her. They were alone in the hallway but she couldn't get away from him. "I'm sorry, Lilykins."

Lily glared at him. "Don't call me that! I'm not your Lilykins anymore, jackass!"

He groaned. "What can I do to make things right between us?"

"Take your bottom lip and put it over your head then swallow…deeply!"

"Lily, I love you!"

She rolled her eyes. "You can't love anyone but yourself and Sirius!"

He glared at her. "That's not true!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is! Now, leave me alone! I hate you!"

James grabbed her arm and stopped her from leaving. "I love you."

Lily slapped him. "You can't love me! You lied to me!"

He groaned. "I didn't lie to you!" She rolled her eyes. "I _did_ lie to Sam!" She glared at him. "I don't know why you are so mad about that! She isn't your sister!"

Lily slapped him again. "Yes, she is!" He blinked in surprise. "Sam and I are best friends! We are more than friends! We are more than sisters! We tell each other everything! We have our backs! There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other! If we had to, we would die for each other!" He paled. "When you failed to protect her, you failed to protect me! You didn't just fail your sister; you also failed your girlfriend!" He glared at the ground. She sighed. "The things you said to her…the things you called her…you didn't just hurt her. You hurt me too." He gulped. "We trusted you, James. We trusted you to never lie or hurt us but you broke that." She bit her lip. "We saw how we rank in your heart. Sirius and you is your top priority while everyone else scraps the bottom of the barrel."

James shook his head. "That's not true, Lily! I love you more than anything in this entire world!" She sighed again. "I miss you, Lily. I miss you so much." She wouldn't look at him. "How can I make things right between us?"

She bit her lip. "I don't know if there is anything you can do." He had a pained look on his face. "But if there was a way…" He looked at her with anxious eyes. "You could start by realizing what you did was wrong."

"I did! I did realize that! I know what I did was wrong! When I saw that Sirius wasn't going to tell Sam the truth straight away, I should have been the one to say something! I should have told the both of you the truth! I should have said something before, during, or after the wedding! I should have…I should have done so many things differently." He said with a sigh.

She nodded slowly. "Yes, you should have."

"Will you forgive me now?" She shook her head. He sighed. "What else can I do to try and make things right?"

Lily eyed him closely. "You could tell Sam this. You could apologize to her."

James sighed again. "I already did that."

"I don't believe you."

He stared at her. "I'm telling the truth!"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "That's a first!"

James gritted his teeth. "I never lied to you before!" Her eyebrow rose. "I'm not counting that time! Besides that one indiscretion, I've never lied to you!"

Lily sighed. "I don't believe that you told Sam that you are sorry."

"I swear that I did! If you don't believe me, why don't you go ask her?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "I can't do that! Have you forgotten that she can't talk?"

He groaned again. "She'll write her answer down!" She shook her head. "I beg you! Just go and ask Sam! She will tell you the truth, Lily!"

"Even if she does confirm your story, I don't know if I can forgive you, James."

James nodded slowly. "I understand, Lily." She blinked in surprise. "All I'm asking for is a chance. I want you to ask her if I'm lying and when she confirms that I am telling you the truth, I just want you to give me a chance to win my place back in your heart."

Lily sighed again. "I'll ask her." He smiled. "But I can't guarantee anything, James. I can't give you any guarantees."


	72. Chapter 71: Missing You

Author's Note: The chapter title sucks but I couldn't think of anything else. Enjoy!

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Chapter 71: Missing You.

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Lily walked into the library and smiled when she saw Sam sitting at the table in the far corner. She was reading that black book again and all her attention was focused on the contents in that book. She took a deep breath and walked over to her. She stood in front of her but had to cough to get her attention. Sam looked up and stared at her closely. Lily sighed when she saw that familiar awkward smile on her best friend's face. "Hi Sammy." She nodded in response. "I know you are supposed to be alone while you can't talk but…do you mind if I join you?" Sam motioned for her to sit down and Lily smiled. She sat next to her and took out her books. Sam went back to reading but looked at her oddly when Lily kept staring at her. "Can I ask you something, Sam?" She nodded. "It's about your brother." She sneered. Lily smiled. "Believe me, I feel the same way." Sam gave her a small smile. "I was wondering…"

Sam's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when she saw Lily struggle to ask her question. She took her quill and wrote on the spare bit of parchment that she carried with her. She slid the note to Lily. "_You can ask me anything, Lily. You know that._"

She nodded slowly. "I guess that's true." Sam gave her a weird look. "It's just…it's been hard to talk to you, Sammy." She shook her head. "Never mind that right now. I need to know if you've talked to James." Sam groaned and nodded. She smiled. "Did…you two talk about what happened before you went away again?"

She sighed. "_Yes, we did. Why do you ask_?"

Lily took a deep breath. "He told me that he apologized to you about what happened. Is that true?" Sam nodded. "Can you tell me what he said to you?" She nodded and opened her mouth. Lily laughed. "Sammy, you can't speak, remember?"

Sam groaned again. "_I keep forgetting! This whole vow of silence thing is such a pain in the ass sometimes! I keep forgetting I can't talk and when I try to answer questions in class, my professors tell me I can't answer because I can't talk! I'm starting to rethink my decision_!"

She laughed. "You are doing the right thing, Sam. Your vow of silence will help you." She shrugged. "Can you write down what he told you?" Sam nodded. Lily waited for her to finish and smiled when she handed her the paper. Her eyes whipped across the page as she read the note. She sighed. "So, he was telling the truth." Sam looked at her in confusion. Lily looked at her. "Have you forgiven him?" She shook her head. "Do you think you will be able to?" She shrugged. "Do you want to?"

She sighed. "_Lily, I don't know what's going to happen between my former brother and me. I'm just focusing on getting better and finding clarity. I'm also trying to stay out of everyone's way._" Lily sighed. "_Don't…you shouldn't wait for me to forgive him so that you can. If you want to forgive him and be together again, you have my support. You don't need me to forgive him. You just need to do what you want. You shouldn't ask for my opinion. The only opinion that matters is yours. I won't feel like you are betraying me if you decide to take him back._" Lily was silent as she read her note. "_You don't need my opinion._"

Lily bit her lip. "I do need your opinion. I need my best friend back. Have you seen her?"

Sam was confused. "_What are you talking about_?"

She sighed. "I haven't seen my best friend since New Year's. Do you know where she went?"

She glared at her. "_You know where I've been, Lily! I went to St. Mungo's but I'm back now!_"

"My best friend would never have trouble looking at me let alone talking to me!" She hissed. "Sam, what did I do? What did I do wrong? Why won't you talk to me?" Sam gave her a look and pointed to her mouth while shaking her head. Lily growled. "You know what I mean!" People gave them dirty looks when Lily raised her voice. She sighed. "What did I do?"

"_You didn't do anything wrong, Lily. We've talked about this before._"

Lily sighed "I know we've talked about this before. I know that but things are still…awkward between us. We used to be inseparable but now, we can't be around each other for longer than a few minutes except when other people are around." She looked at her closely. "What did I do wrong, Sammy?"

Sam sighed. "_You didn't do anything wrong. I swear you didn't, Lily._" She sighed again. "_It's me. I…came back…I am different now. I can't explain it but I'm just different._" Lily nodded slowly. "_You are still…_"

"What am I? Am I a bother to you?"

Her eyes widened and she gasped. "_You have never and will never be a bother to me, Lily Evans! You have been and always will be my best friend! Nothing will ever change that!_"

She nodded slowly. "You'll always be my best friend too, Sammy." Sam smiled. "It's just…why are you so awkward around me? Why have you been ignoring me?"

She gulped. "_I haven't been ignoring you_." Lily raised an eyebrow and glared at her. "_It's hard to explain, Lily_."

"Well, try to explain it to me!" She hissed.

Sam took a deep breath. "_Something happened at St. Mungo's. It doesn't matter what it was. All I know is that it changed me…for better or for worse, I don't know. That…made me different. I feel awkward around everyone._" Lily nodded slowly. "_Alan, my counselor, and I started to discuss the attack, as you know, and that just made me feel even more awkward around people. It doesn't help matters that I freak out when I'm touched._"

Lily nodded slowly again. "I understand that. _He _kept grabbing at you and attacked you and Michael. It makes perfect sense that you are having trouble around people." Sam smiled slightly. "It's just…I'm your best friend and I'm also one of the people that helped save you from him killing you. After everything we've been through together, after years of being closer than sisters, why can't you look at me? Why can't you talk to me? You know I would never hurt or betray you. You know I'll support you no matter what." She nodded slowly. "Why can't my best friend be around me anymore?"

She bit her lip as her chin trembled. "_I want to be around you, Lily. I want to be able to look at you and talk to you like I used to but I can't._"

She wiped her eyes. "Why can't you?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. "_I…have so much guilt. When I look at you, I feel guilty. I can't bear to be around you because whenever I am, I'm overcome with guilt._" She looked at her. "_It's not anything you did. It's what I did. What I did…seeing you…I feel too much guilt, Lily._"

Lily shook her head. "I don't understand. What do you have to feel guilty for? You did nothing wrong. Sirius and James are the guilty parties."

Sam gulped. Her hands shook as she grasped her quill. Lily stared at her oddly. "_I feel guilty for ruining your relationship with James._"

She rolled her eyes. "Sammy, he ruined our relationship by lying to me. You did the right thing by telling me. I don't blame you for any of that." Sam gave her an awkward smile. She stared at her. "There is something else, isn't there? I can tell that you are holding something back. What is it? You can tell me." Sam shook her head. Lily sighed. "Sammy, it's ok. You know that you can trust me. You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you." Sam bit her lip and started to write again. Lily's eyebrows furrowed together when she read the note. "I can't make it out. Can you rewrite it??"

Sam sighed. "_I feel guilty because I left you alone when you needed me after your break up with James._"

Lily smiled. "It's ok, Sammy. I know you needed to go away then. I was fine and I still am fine. You shouldn't feel guilty about that." Sam smiled. "What else do you feel guilty about?" Sam started to write again. Lily shook her head when she read the note. "I don't understand. What do you mean when you wrote that you feel guilty for almost leaving me forever?"

She started to write again. Lily looked at her in confusion after reading the note. Sam tapped the parchment and Lily read it again. "_I…while I was at St. Mungo's…what I mean is…I feel guilty that I almost left you behind for good. Lily, I'm so sorry._" Lily looked at her before continuing to read. "_I tried to kill myself while I was at St. Mungo's._"

Her eyes widened. "No, you didn't."

"_Yes, I did. I have the stitches to prove it if you don't believe me._"

Lily looked at her in disbelief. "S-Show me your stitches, Sammy." She whispered. Sam put her arms under the table and lifted her sleeves. Lily leaned over and gasped when she saw her wrists. She was silent. Sam's chin trembled as she stared at her. Her chin trembled. "It's all my fault." Sam's head cocked to the side. "If we…if we didn't send that letter to you then you wouldn't have tried to…it's my fault." Sam's eyes widened as she shook her head. Lily started to cry. She gathered up her books. She wouldn't look at her. "Now, I know why you don't want to talk to me anymore. I'm so sorry, Sammy. I never meant for that to happen. I didn't want you to hurt yourself because of me. I'm so sorry. I won't bother you anymore. I'll be going now."

Sam stared after her as she ran from the library. She gulped down her tears and packed up her bag. "_Lily, I'm sorry._" She thought to herself. She ran after Lily. She went into the halls and looked around. She saw Sirius and ran to him. She pushed James out of the way and looked at him with frantic eyes. "_Sirius, I need your help_!"

Sirius stared at her in confusion. "Sammy, what is it? What's wrong?" She tried speaking but she groaned when nothing came out. "Baby, why are you so upset?" He sighed. "Why do I feel like I should be in that muggle show 'Lassie' that Lily told me about?" Sam kicked his shin. He winced. "I'm sorry." She nodded. "Can you write it down?"

She ripped a piece of parchment out of her bag and scribbled down what she needed to say. "_Have you seen Lily? I need to find her! I need to explain!_"

He read the note and nodded. "Yes, I've seen her. She came running by just before you came to me." She motioned for him to continue. "What's wrong?"

"What do you have to explain to her, Sam?" James asked.

Sam glanced at her wrists and he nodded in understanding. Sirius looked at her closely. "_Can you show me where she went? I really need to talk to her_!"

Sirius nodded. "I'll take you. Come on."

The three of them ran down the hall. Sirius held onto Sam's hand tightly. They stopped when they spotted Lily. She was leaning against the wall while she cried. Sam gave Sirius a sad smile in thanks before running over to her. She touched Lily's shoulder. Lily turned around and started to cry again when she looked at Sam. "You should stay away from me, Sammy. I'm the reason why you tried that. You must hate me. You should stay away."

She shook her head before she started to write. "_You aren't the reason why I did what I did. It was me. I was being selfish. I was just so…I am so messed up and I thought if I wasn't around, people would be happier._"

"That's not true, Sammy. I would be miserable without you. I'd be lost without you."

"_I'd be lost without you too, Lily. You are my best friend. You are the only one I can truly count on._" Lily sighed. "_I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I understand why you would hate me for what I did._"

Lily wiped her eyes. "I don't hate you, Sammy. I could never hate you either."

Sam bit her lip. "_I'm so sorry, Lily. I almost left you forever. I never want to be without you. You mean so much to me. You are more than my best friend. You are more than a sister to me. I just hope you can forgive me for what I did._"

Her chin trembled. "I can forgive you." She smiled. "Now, will you be able to talk to me again? I've really missed you and I need to talk to you. I need my best friend back. Can you talk to me and be around me again?"

She nodded quickly. "_Now that you know the truth, I don't feel as awkward around you._" Lily smiled slightly. "_I've missed you so much, Lily! There are so many things I want to tell you! There are so many things I want to share with you!_"

Lily smiled at her. "I want to know what you want to share with me."

Sam smiled and handed her another note. "_I love you, Lily._"

"I love you too, Sammy."

They cried as they hugged each other tightly. Sirius smiled at the sight. "It looks like at least one couple is back together."

James nodded slowly. "I'm happy that they got back together." Sirius smirked at him. He looked at him after seeing Lily and Sam kiss each other's cheeks and began hugging again. "I know she is my sister and all but…that's hot."

Sirius laughed. "You're an ass." James shrugged. "But you are right. That is hot."

He laughed. "I told you so."

He nodded and smiled. "Yes, you did."

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Lily and Sam walked into the common room holding hands. They spent the entire day together. They talked and laughed and got reacquainted with one another. They rolled their eyes when they saw the guys smirk at them when they hugged and kissed each other's cheeks. "You know that they are probably having some sick fantasies about us just because we are holding hands and hugging." Sam nodded and rolled her eyes. They leaned against each other as they shared at laugh. "Enough about those idiots." Sam looked at her. "So, what did you want to show me?" 

Sam pulled her towards the window seat and they sat down. She took out the journal and her quill and a piece of parchment. "_This is my grandmother's journal._" Lily nodded. "_I want to share it with you._" Lily smiled. "_You have to follow my instructions so you can see its true identity._" Lily gave her an odd look before nodding slowly. "_Close your eyes and breathe in and out while counting to ten. When you are done, you will see its true form._"

She did as she was told and opened her eyes when she was done. She gasped when she looked at the journal. Gone was the black leather bound cover. In its place was a dark blue cloth covering. It had blue and silver jewels across the cover. "Sammy, it's beautiful!" Sam smiled and nodded. She looked at her closely. "Can…can I read it with you?" Her smile grew as she nodded again. Lily rested her head on Sam's shoulder and smiled when Sam rested her head on top of hers. They started to read together. Lily turned her head and looked at her. "I love you, Sammy."

She smiled. "_I love you too, Lily._" She wrote. They shared a smile and hugged. Sam kissed her forehead. The boys started to cheer and they shared a look before rolling their eyes. "_They are such gits_!" She mouthed.

Lily laughed. "I don't understand what you just said but I can guess." Sam smiled. "And, I agree with you highly!"

Sam laughed. She looked at her closely before starting to write. "_Lily, can I ask you something_?" Lily nodded. "_Do you still care for James_?" Lily sighed before nodding. "_Then why aren't you with him? Why don't you take him back_?"

"You still love Sirius." Sam nodded slowly. "Why aren't you with him? Why don't you take him back?"

"_You know why I'm not with him. I may still care about him, and I always will, but that doesn't change what he did. I'm trying to forgive him so we can be friends but I can't be with him._"

She nodded. "I understand. You can't trust him." Sam nodded. "That's why I can't be with James."

She sighed. "_Lily, I don't want to tell you what to do because it's your life but you can trust him. He cares about you and always has._" Lily sighed. "_You don't have to decide anything right now. I just want you to think about it._"

"I promise I'll think about it, Sammy. I promise I will."

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James waited until everyone left the common room before walking over to Sam. He sat down next to her and smiled when she looked up. "Hi Sam." She nodded before looking away. "I know you don't want to talk to me…ever again but I need to talk to you about something." She sighed and looked at him. "Why were you and Lily crying before?" She gave him a look. He sighed. "You told her about your _accident_, didn't you?" She nodded. "How did she take it?" 

Sam sighed again and began to write. "_How do you think she took it_?" He nodded slowly. "_Luckily, she forgave me for almost leaving her forever._" He looked at her closely. "_She still loves me and I love her._" He smiled. She rolled her eyes. "_Why are you smiling_?"

"You wrote 'love'."

She shrugged. "_I can write it. I just can't say it._"

He nodded slowly. "I see." She started to read again. He touched her arm but she pulled away and glared at him. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She started to growl. "I'm sorry, Sam. It…I just said it out of habit." She nodded slowly. "Can I ask you something?" She gave him an impatient glare. "Why can Lily touch you? Why don't you freak out when she hugs you?"

"_I don't know really. When I first came back and she hugged me, I did freak out but it's different now._" He nodded. "_Now that she knows the truth, I don't feel awkward around her and I know she would never hurt me. I feel safe around her and that helps me not freak out._"

"I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad the two of you made up." She rolled her eyes and smirked. He looked at her oddly. "What? What is it?"

She wrote down her response and gave him a look. "_I know what you gits thought when you saw Lily and me hug and hold hands._"

"You also kissed!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "_We kissed each other's cheeks and I kissed her forehead! That is normal for us_!"

He smirked. "But you still kissed!"

Sam hid her smile. "_That doesn't count_!" He continued to smirk. She laughed. "_James, that's disgusting! I'm your sister for Merlin's sake_!"

James shrugged. "I know you are but it was still hot!" Sam shook her head in disbelief. He smiled. "Believe me, I'm just as disturbed as you are but it was still hot!" She laughed again. "Thank you."

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "_Why are you thanking me_?"

His smile grew. "You just wrote that you are my sister. That means a lot. Thank you."

She shrugged. "_Well, we are related by blood and by name._" He nodded. "_I still haven't forgiven you. I still don't consider you my brother._"

James sighed. "I know that, Sam."

"_This little moment we had doesn't mean anything. I hope you know that._"

He nodded. "I know that, Sam." She got up to leave but stopped when he spoke. "Sam?" She looked at him. "Do you think…can you sit down?" She sighed and sat back down. "I need to talk to you." She motioned for him to continue. "Did…uh…did you tell Lily about your vision?" She shook her head. "Why not?"

Sam sighed. "_If Lily knew…first, she would kick my ass for not telling her straight away and secondly, she wouldn't let it happen._" He nodded slowly. "_Is there anything else_?"

"Will you be able to forgive Sirius?"

"_I hope so._"

"Will you be able to forgive me?"

"_I don't know._"

James was silent for a moment. "Do you want to forgive me?"

She bit her lip. "_All I want to do is find some clarity after all the chaos. I want to find my path. That's all I want right now._"

He nodded. "Can you try and forgive me?" She sighed. "Can you try and forgive me before you die at least?" She looked at him closely and shrugged before getting up and going upstairs to her room. He looked down at the ground and groaned. "Well, that was…not the answer I was looking for but I did ask for it." Sam walked back down and handed him a note. He looked at her in surprise. "What is this?"

She rolled her eyes and patted the note. "_Lily still cares about you, for some reason. You have to show her that you've seen the error of your ways. Show her that you are sorry._"

He smiled at her. "Thank you for this." She shrugged. "Why…why are you telling me this?"

She handed him another note before going back up the stairs. "_Don't get your hopes up, James. I only did this for Lily. She misses you, even though she is too stubborn to admit it, and I just want my best friend to be happy. If you are lucky enough to get her back, try not to screw it up again, jackass! Lily deserves better._"

James smiled. "Lily deserves the best." He looked at the now empty stairwell. "Thank you, Sammy."

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"_He is my best friend and I love him but I'm in love with my other best friend and have been since the moment we met. I don't want to hurt him or lead him on but I can't be with him when my heart belongs to someone else._

_They don't like each other. They tolerate each other on occasion but they mostly hate each other. They both want to be the most important person in my life and try to make me choose but I can't. They are my best friends. One wants to be my boyfriend while the other one just wants to keep me dangling on a string. He gives me hope when he gives me kisses but he destroys that hope when I see him snog other girls. He is the only boy I've ever been in love with, and he knows how I feel, but every chance he gets, he breaks my heart._"

Sam stared at her grandmother's words and sighed. Her grandma wrote this entry in her third year. She was still in so much pain. She had been reading her grandma's words nonstop. She read it during class, before and after classes, and during meals. She couldn't put it down. She was literally addicted to this journal. Kathleen spent her first two years writing about her experiences at Hogwarts and the friendships she made. She named every single person she met except the two boys that were her best friends. She kept saying she didn't want to jinx anything. Sam accepted this but her patience was growing thin. She knew who the love of her grandma's life was but she just wanted confirmation. They had code names but that still wasn't good enough. Romeo and Casanova were their secret names. Romeo was the best friend that was in love with her but she didn't love him the same way. Casanova was the love of her life that broke her heart constantly. Sam took a deep breath when she started to read the next entry of the same year.

"_Romeo asked me out again. It broke my heart to tell him no but I just couldn't do it. I do love him. I really do but I don't love him the same way that he loves me. My heart belongs to and always will belong to Casanova. I know he doesn't love me like I love him but I can't help it. Every time he looks at me in that special way of his, I melt. I know he feels something for me too but he is holding back. He tells me I'm the only one that understands him. I'm the only one he can turn to. I'm the only one that makes it alright for him to wake up in the morning and be himself. I'm the only one who sees how special he is. I'm the only one he truly cares about. If that's true then why am I the only one that he hasn't asked out or snogged like I'm the only woman in the world he wants?_

_Yes, we have kissed but it only lasts for a moment before he pulls away and runs off to be with his girlfriend of the week. Why am I not special enough for him to want to be with me? What's so wrong with me that he doesn't see me as someone he can love? I love him so much but it's like he doesn't seem to care._"

Sam gulped. This was all too familiar. She had flashes of when she had her crush on Sirius and he didn't seem to care. She blinked as she took a deep breath before she started reading again.

"_I don't understand him at all! Why is it ok for him to date whomever he wants but Merlin forbid if someone shows an interest in me? He makes no sense and it is driving me mad!_

_Let me start from the beginning. As I've stated before, Romeo has a girlfriend. When I turned him down last month, he finally got the hint and asked out Margie Sinclair. We are still friends but things are still somewhat awkward between us. I don't care about that. I'm just happy that we are still friends._

_I was hanging out with Romeo, Margie, Casanova, and his girlfriend of the moment when Daniel Benjamin came up to us. He was being polite and he was flirting with me. HE was flirting with ME! I was in complete shock. No one besides Romeo showed any true interest in me before and I was thrilled! It was amazing! I honestly couldn't believe that someone as gorgeous as Daniel Benjamin, a fifth year Gryffindor, was flirting with me. When he asked me, a lowly third year Gryffindor, out in front of everyone, I almost died. Of course I said yes. He is popular, smart, funny, and did I mention gorgeous? I would be a fool if I didn't say yes! I can't believe I am going to have my first date at thirteen with an amazing fifth year!_

_Well, when the girlfriends left, that's when I was really caught off guard. I wasn't surprised that Romeo was jealous but he said he just wanted me to be happy and accepted my date with Daniel. It was Casanova's reaction that surprised me. He said he couldn't believe how stupid I was to believe that someone like Daniel would want to date someone like me. I was livid. I couldn't believe he would say that to me!_

_Casanova said that he was only trying to protect me from being hurt. That's rich coming from him! He knows how I feel about him and he still continues to torture me! I told him this but he says that that doesn't count. He said I know how he feels about me but we can't be together because we are just friends. He said he wouldn't allow some jackass to take me out on a date. He couldn't understand why I would want to date someone else. He told me that if I went out with Daniel, our friendship was over._

_I couldn't believe my ears. Why is it ok for him to be happy but not me? Why do I have to be continuously tortured while I'm in love with someone who doesn't want me? I told him this as well. He didn't answer me. I asked him if he loved me and if that's why he was acting this way. He still didn't answer. I told him I was giving up. I was giving up my love for him. I've been waiting for so long for him to love me but I can't wait anymore. I needed to move on._

_I never saw Romeo smile so much as he did when I told Casanova that. It looked like he was busting at the seams. He said it was the right thing to do to give up on Casanova. He would make me miserable while waiting around for disappointment._

_Casanova was furious and told him to shut up. He said he did care for me but he couldn't be with me. He knew that there would be a day when someone else asked me out but he didn't think it would be so soon. He looked at me in that way I love and begged me not to go out with him._

_I told him that I was going to go out with Daniel and there was nothing he could do to stop me. His face turned three different shades of red. I never saw him so mad before. He told me that it was a big mistake and that I would regret agreeing to the date. He said we couldn't be friends anymore if I went out with Daniel. I was so mad by his words and that stupid smirk on his face. I told him that was fine with me. We were no longer friends. It looked like he had been punched in the stomach and it broke my heart but he has to realize he can't control me like that. He told me goodbye and walked away._

_I was so upset that I started to cry. I wanted to call out to him but I just couldn't do that. He can't act that way and expect me to follow. He can't keep me dangling in the hopes of us getting together but date everyone else. I love him so much but I just can't anymore. It hurts too much._

_Romeo comforted me. He said that Casanova would calm down soon enough and we would be friends again. He kissed me to try to calm me down. I told him he shouldn't have done that because he was with Margie and she is crazy about him. He said it wouldn't happen again until he was single and I was ready. I told him that would be nice. I didn't know what I was thinking. He is still in love with me and I gave him false hope. He looked so happy but said he wouldn't end things with Margie until I was ready to be with him._

_I am so heart broken. I've lost the love of my life and all for a date with someone else. It's only been a few hours but I miss him so much. He won't even look at me. He keeps snogging his girlfriend to make me jealous. Its working but I pretend that it doesn't. He looks mad but I don't care. I'm tired of him hurting me like this. I need to move on. Maybe Daniel is the one I can move on with_?"

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James was silent as he ate his breakfast in the Great Hall with his friends. He kept stealing glances at Lily while she talked with Sam. All he could think about was a way to get her back. He missed her so much and he just couldn't take being without her anymore. Sirius looked at him and smiled. "What's on your mind?" 

He looked away from his plate and stared at him in confusion. "What did you say?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I asked what's on your mind. What are you thinking about?" James sighed. He smiled again. "You are thinking about Lily and trying to figure out how to get her back, aren't you?" He nodded slowly. "Have you come up with anything yet?"

James shook his head. "I haven't come up with anything yet. Do you have any ideas?"

He laughed. "If I had any idea on how to get someone back, don't you think I'd be using them to get Sam back?" James smiled in response. "It will come to you, mate."

He looked at him closely. "Do you really love Sam?"

"Where have you been living? Of course I love her!"

James laughed. "I was just wondering." Sirius nodded slowly. "Do you really love her or do you think you love her just because she doesn't want you to be with you anymore?"

His eyebrow rose. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

He shrugged. "It's an honest question."

Sirius took a deep breath. "Get one thing straight, James. I love your sister. I always have and always will." James opened his mouth to speak but Sirius stopped him. "No, don't say anything. I want you to listen to what I have to say." James nodded slowly. "I've loved her from the moment I saw her at King's Cross and I've never stopped." James' eyes widened by the force of his words. "I've tried to forget about it. I tried to stop but I can't. The moment I saw her, I knew I would always love her and only her. She is the one person I want to spend my life with." He held up his left hand. "I married her, didn't I?" James nodded. "I married her because I didn't want her sent away _and_ because I love her. The real reason I married her, besides trying to prevent her from being sent away, is because I love her." James stared at him closely. "So, to answer your incredibly stupid question, yes, I do truly love Sam and not because she doesn't want to be with me right now. I know my past actions have contradicted what I've just said but I do truly love her. I love her and only her."

James sighed. "I know that, Sirius. I was just checking." Sirius looked at him closely. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I know you love her. I…I'm just trying to look out for her. I'm just trying to be the brother I should have been. I'm trying to be the brother she deserves instead of the jackass I've been." Sirius nodded slowly. "Sam does love you, you know?" Sirius sighed. "She told me so."

"No, she didn't."

"Yes, she did."

"No, she didn't."

He groaned. "Why don't you believe me?"

He sighed again. "For starters, she can't speak."

"She told me this when we met with her counselor. That was before her vow of silence."

Sirius shook his head. "And, she can't even say the word. How did she tell you she still loved me when she can't say the word?"

James took a deep breath. "I asked her if she still loved you and she said yes. I asked her again after she became silent and she still…_said_ yes." Sirius nodded slowly. "So, she still loves you. We can get them back. All we have to do is figure out a way to get them to forgive us."

He nodded again. "Yes, we do. At least you have it easier than I do."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I almost got Sam killed. You just tried to cover it up."

He laughed. "Believe me; I'm in the same boat as you."

Sirius smiled. "You'll get Lily back before I get Sam back. Sam may have matured while she was away but she is still the same stubborn girl I know and love." James laughed. Sirius' eyes widened. "I think I know how you can get Lily back."

James looked at him with interest. "How can I do that?"

He smirked. "Do you remember how Dad got Mum back after he messed up her relationship with that Aubrey guy?" James looked confused for a moment before he gasped and nodded eagerly. "Why don't you try that?" James smiled. "I suggest that you do it now because she is about to leave with Sam." James' eyes widened. They looked at the girls and smiled when they saw them leaning in close before hugging. "That's still hot."

He laughed. "Yes, it is." Sirius laughed. "Should I do it now?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, you should do it now! Do it or I'll tell Sam you were talking shit about her so she will beat you up!"

He gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?"

James stood up and went to stand on the table. Some people looked his way but most people weren't paying attention. He cleared his throat. "Can I please have everyone's attention?" He yelled. The entire room went silent and turned towards him. Lily and Sam turned around and stared at him. "I know you all know who I am but I'll tell you anyway. My name is James Potter." They looked at him oddly. "As all of you know, I've been in love with Lily Evans since the moment I met her." They looked at Lily and she blushed while Sam hid her laugh. "I know I've acted like a git in the past trying to get her to notice me and…I guess this is me still acting like a git to get her to notice me." They laughed. He looked at Lily closely. "Lily, I love you! I've only ever loved you!" She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know I lied to you. I know I hurt you but that was never my intention. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted you to doubt the love I have for and will always have for you."

Lily sighed again. "What do you want, James?"

He smiled at her. "I want you!"

She shook her head. "You can't have me." Sam gave her a note and Lily glared at her. Sam gave her a look and tapped the paper. Lily sighed. "Is that all you have to say?"

James sighed. "Yes, that's it." Sirius hit him on the leg. He groaned and glared at him. "Ow! What the hell was that for?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

Sirius shook his head. "You are such a dumb shit!" James sneered. "Idiot, you have to tell her how you feel-"

"I did that."

"_And_, you have to tell her how sorry you are! She needs to hear it from you, not everyone else! Don't let her leave until she hears everything!"

He nodded quickly. "You're right."

He groaned. "Then stop talking to me and tell her, jackass!"

James looked at Lily and smiled. "I'm sorry, Lily. I should have been the one to tell you the truth. I should have protected you instead of choosing to lie to you." Lily glared at Sam when she handed her another note. Sam smiled at her before rolling her eyes. James' eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. He had a sinking feeling that she was trying to turn her against him. "You and I are meant to be! You know it! I know it! Everyone knows it!" Her eyebrow rose. "I am a git and will probably always be one." She fought the urge to laugh. "But I'd rather be a git who is with his true love instead of being a git who had everything but lost it forever."

"I have to go."

"You can't leave!"

"Why can't I?"

James' face scrunched up in confusion. "Because…" He smiled at her. "You'll regret it if you leave. If you leave, you'll never stop wondering what if." He jumped down off the table and took a step forward. Everyone watched them closely. "If you leave now, you'll wonder what would have happened between us if you stayed and listened to me."

Lily glared at Sam again when she tapped the original note. "Sam, would you stop doing that? I know what it says!" She grumbled. He sighed as he stood in front of her. Sam tried moving away but Lily grabbed her arm. "Don't you dare leave me!" Lily whispered. Sam smirked and tapped the note again. Lily sneered and let her arm go. "You disgust me." Sam laughed and winked at her. Lily looked at her pleadingly. Sam tapped the note again and walked to sit down next to Sirius. James looked at her in confusion. "You may continue, Potter."

He smiled for a moment before sighing. "Lily, all I'm asking for is one more chance. I need you to give me one more chance. I love you and you love me. We belong together. We owe it to each other to give it one more try."

"You lied to me."

James nodded. "Yes, I did." She looked at him closely. "But I promise I will only tell you white lies." She looked at him in disbelief. He let out a tiny laugh. "You know what I mean. If you ask me if you look fat in a dress, I'm not stupid enough to tell you the truth." The room groaned at his stupidity. He looked around. "What?"

Lily shook her head. "James, you are such a prat!"

He blinked in surprise. "What did I do wrong now?" She rolled her eyes. "Lily, I only meant that I wouldn't lie to you anymore but if you ask me one of those trick questions that girls are famous for, I'm going to give you an answer that won't end up with me being in a cast!" She let out a tiny laugh. He smiled. "I promise I won't lie to you ever again."

She sighed. "You betrayed my trust."

He nodded. "I know I did. I will do anything to earn back your trust, Lily. I love you more than anything in this entire world. I'll do anything to get you to trust me again."

"I want you to punch Sirius in the nose."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed. "Leave me out of this!"

James smiled. "I'll do it if you want me to."

"No, you won't!" He yelled. "I'll hit you first!"

Lily smiled. "Would you really hit your best mate if I asked you too?" He nodded eagerly. Sirius groaned. "That's so sweet."

Sirius leaned in to whisper in Sam's ear. "She is so screwed up!" Sam laughed in response.

He took another step forward. "Will you come back to me, Lily? Will you find it in yourself to forgive me and try to trust me again?" She was silent. He took a step closer to her. "I've been miserable without you. I've missed you so much." She hid her smile. "I love you, Lilyk-"

Her eyes widened as she put her finger on his lips to stop him from talking. "James, don't say it. I don't want everyone to know your nickname for me." He gave her a look. "Do you want everyone to know my nickname for you?" He blushed and shook his head. "That's what I thought."

James smiled. "I love you, Lily."

Lily blushed. "I love you too, James…even though you can be such a prat."

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her slowly. "Will you come back to me?"

She smiled. "Yes, I will."

"Can I kiss you?" She nodded eagerly. They leaned in and kissed. They laughed when people cheered. "I've missed you, Lily."

"I've missed you too, James."

Sirius smiled at them. "They are finally back together. Thank Merlin. I was so worried." Sam rolled her eyes and laughed. He leaned in close to whisper in her ear again. "Is it my turn now?" She looked at him oddly. "Is it my turn to stand on the table and let everyone know how miserable I am without you, how much I love and miss you, how you are the only one for me, and how sorry I am that I hurt you?" She shook her head. "Why isn't it my turn to do that?"

Sam handed him a note. "_You can't do that because this is James and Lily's moment. They deserve this and no one should take it away from them._"

He smiled. "That's very nice of you." She rolled her eyes. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "If I did what James did first, would you have the same reaction as Lily?" Sam gave him a knowing smile before winking. His smile grew. "Oh yeah, I've still got it." She rolled her eyes before pushing his shoulder. He laughed. "I love you too, Sammy."

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James and Lily were in the common room cuddling. They smiled and blushed at each other before kissing. "You are so beautiful, Lily." James whispered in her ear. 

Lily's blush grew. "You're so handsome, James."

They kissed again. "I love you, Lilykins."

"I love you too, cuddlebum."

James pulled her closer but stopped when he felt something in her pocket. He pulled out two pieces of parchment. "What's this?"

Lily shrugged. "Those are the notes that Sam gave me during your speech."

He sighed. "Was she trying to stop you from coming back to me?"

She smiled. "You should read them and see for yourself." He looked at her closely. "Read this one first. It's the second note she gave me."

He nodded slowly and read the note. "_Would you forgive him already? He loves you! You love him! Everyone knows this! Just forgive him so we can get on with our lives_!"

Lily smiled again when he laughed. "This is the first note. She kept tapping it while you were talking."

"_One of us has to forgive him. It's your turn now. Just do it already. You know you want to._"

James looked at her with a smile. "She was trying to make you forgive me?"

She nodded. "Yes, she was."

"Why would she do that when she hates me?"

Lily shrugged. "Sam does hate you." He gave her a look. She laughed. "She knew I missed you. She wanted me to be happy again…even if it meant making you happy at the same time."

He nodded slowly. "I see." She kissed him. "I was wrong about her."

"Yes, you were."

"I'm trying to make it up to her."

She smiled. "I know you are."

James kissed her again. "I've got a lot to make up for in general and I promise you I will."

Lily hugged him. "I know you will, cuddlebum. I know you will."


	73. Chapter 72: For The First Time

Author's Note: Blah, Blah, Blah...it blows! Enjoy!

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Chapter 72: For The First Time.

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Sirius looked at her oddly. "What did you just ask me?" Sam rolled her eyes. "What? It's just…why are you asking me this?" She shrugged. "Ok, ask me again. I promise I will answer honestly."

They were sitting at the table in the common room. They were separated from everyone else. Alan and Andrew sent them an owl and told them that since they can't have joint sessions anymore that they should set aside some time and spend it together. Sam gave him the note again. "_Why do you want me back? Is it because you truly love me or is it because I said that I can't be with you anymore_?"

He groaned. "Why do people keep asking me this?" She looked at him in confusion. He smiled. "Never mind that." She nodded slowly. "I want you because I do truly love you. You are the only one I've ever loved and that's the way it will always be." She blushed and nodded. He smiled. "Why did you ask me that?"

Sam shrugged. "_I was just wondering._" He nodded. "_Do you have any questions for me_?" He nodded again. "_What do you want to ask me_?"

Sirius smiled. "Do you still love me?" She laughed. "What? Why are you laughing?" She shook her head. "You have to answer. It's one of the rules of this honesty game we have to play."

She smirked. "_That is true. I will answer._" He smiled. "_Yes, I do still love you, Sirius._"

"It's your turn to ask me something."

She thought for a moment before she began to write. "_When did you first fall in love with me_?" He smiled in response. "_You have to answer! That's part of the rules of the game_!"

He laughed. "Yes, I know. I will answer." She nodded and waited for him to continue. "I first fell in love with you at King's Cross Station before I came here for the first time." She started to write again but he stopped her. "It's my turn to ask you a question." She nodded. "That dream you had before we met, what did you see exactly?"

"_It wasn't so much a dream of meeting you as it was a dream of a photograph._" He looked at her oddly. "_It was a photograph of James, Lily, you, and me. We were huddled together and we were all laughing and smiling. It looked like we were at a wedding. I think it was James and Lily's wedding. We were just so happy and I just woke up with this feeling like James and Lily were meant to be…and that you and I were meant to be as well._"

"I see." She shrugged. "It's your turn."

She nodded. "_You say that you first fell in love with me when you saw me._" He nodded slowly. "_Tell me about when you first saw me. I want to know._" Sirius laughed. "_You have to tell me._"

Sirius kissed the back of her hand. "I'll tell you, Baby." She blushed again. "I didn't know you were such an egomaniac." She looked at him oddly. "You just want to know how much I love and adore you and have from the beginning so I can stroke your ego, right?" She rolled her eyes and he laughed. "I was with that woman who gave birth to me and my brother." She nodded slowly. "I was looking around while she droned on about something." She smiled. "All of a sudden, everything went still. I saw the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life." She blushed. "Then, I turned my head and saw you." She gasped and slapped his arm repeatedly. He winced as he laughed. "I was just kidding!" He grabbed a hold of her hands and continued to laugh. "Baby, I was only joking!" She glared at him. He leaned in and tried to kiss her but she moved her head. He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "Come on, Sammy. I was only joking." Her mouth twitched. He smiled and scooted closer to her. He rested his head on her shoulder. "Sammy, I'm sorry." She tried to hold in her laughter but it wasn't working. Her body was shaking. His smile grew. "Do you forgive me?" She turned her head and smiled at him. He smirked when she nodded. "I knew you couldn't resist me. You never could." She rolled her eyes and laughed. He kissed her lips. She pulled away. "You know you want me."

Sam laughed again and pushed his head off of her shoulder. "_You are such a git_!" He smiled and nodded eagerly. She rolled her eyes again. "_Finish the story, Sirius._"

He smiled. "I'll finish." She nodded. "All of a sudden, everything went still. I saw the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life. She had the longest dark brown hair that bounced as she looked around. My eyes were wide as saucers as I watched her walk along side some black haired boy." Sam blushed. "I ditched the demon woman and the dark prince to try and find this amazing girl." She laughed. "I went from compartment to compartment. I had to find her. I had to meet her. I had to know her name. I stopped when I heard the sweetest voice. It turned out to be her. I was able to find out her name and hear her voice. I never felt happier." Her blush grew. He kissed her again. She smiled slowly. "Now, that beautiful girl who I just had to meet is my wife…and that makes me just as happy as that day I first met her."

She smiled at him. "_Is that the truth_?" He nodded. She kissed his cheek. He smiled in surprise. "_I never knew all of that._"

"I know you didn't. I never told anyone…except Andrew."

She nodded before kissing his cheek again. "_That was so…sweet._" He shrugged. "_Thank you for telling me that._"

He looked at her closely. "I'll tell you everyday how much I love and adore you and how beautiful you are."

"_I'm not beautiful._"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, you are! You know you are!" She blushed. "You've always been beautiful."

"_That's not true._" He looked at her oddly. "_It's your turn._"

"What do you mean you haven't always been beautiful? What did you look like before I met you?"

Sam sighed. "_This is the question you want to ask me_?" He nodded. "_I was awkward looking as hell_." He motioned for her to continue. "_You can't laugh._"

Sirius smiled. "I promise I won't laugh, Baby."

"_Well, if you must know, I was fat. I had chubby cheeks and a double chin. I had these ugly looking freckles on my face that went away for some reason but tend to come back when I'm in the sun too long. I had buck teeth. The muggle kids used to call me chipmunk and called me a freak. So, you see, I wasn't beautiful._"

He laughed loudly. "You're lying! There is no way you could have looked like that!"

She glared at him. "_Excuse me_?"

He smiled. "There is just no way you could have been that ugly!"

Her face fell. "_I wasn't ugly! I was just…awkward looking_!"

Sirius stared at her closely. "You are telling me the truth, aren't you?" She nodded slowly. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to laugh. I thought you were joking around." She shrugged. "How…how did you go from looking that to the way you look now?"

Sam shrugged again. "_I was fat until I turned nine. The neighborhood kids would chase me so they could make fun of me and throw things at me._" He looked at her in surprise. "_For awhile, I was really slow and they caught me. After some time, after running away and after I started eating better, I lost enough weight to get into shape. I was able to out run them and I got skinny in the process. My freckles went away because…I would spend most of my time indoors instead of going outside to play. I didn't want to be made fun of so I stayed inside. When I turned nine, I begged Mama to fix my teeth and she finally agreed. That's why I look the way I do now. I don't want to look that way ever again because I know how cruel people can be._"

He blinked in surprise. "Where was James when all of this was going on?"

She sighed. "_He…joined them. He would help them make fun of me but would stop when I started to cry. He was forced inside with me because Mama made him. He chased after me with them and teased me but he never threw anything at me._"

Sirius held her hand. "How do they treat you now? How have they treated you since you…since your transformation?"

Sam shrugged. "_At first, they treated me like they always did. That changed when…um…Ritchie moved in. He wouldn't play with them because they made fun of me. He was the reason why they stopped. Also, the older boys realized girls were worth noticing and started acting like gits around me. They are nice now. I just choose not to bother with them when I'm home._"

His head cocked to the side. "James let them tease you?" She shrugged. "I don't believe it."

"_I'm not lying_!"

He shook his head aggressively. "I'm not saying you are. I just can't believe how cruel James was to you. I thought the two of you were always close."

"_James is my older brother! Of course he was cruel_!" He laughed lightly. "_We were close. I was just too stupid to realize he was and always will be a git_!"

Sirius smiled. "Well, I know I would have thought you were cute anyway."

Sam rolled her eyes. "_No, you wouldn't have. You would have done the same thing as James and the others_!"

He blushed. "That may be true." She smirked. "But I would have felt bad about it."

She gave him a small smile. "_That's good to know._"

Sirius brushed his lips against hers. "It doesn't matter what you looked like before. I would have loved you even if you looked like that today." She rolled her eyes and laughed. He smiled. "I told you before that I'd love you if you were old and wrinkled." She smiled slowly. "I'd love you even if you had buck teeth and chubby cheeks with weird freckles."

Sam giggled. "_You're so full of it_!"

He stood up and kneeled down in front of her. "Sammy, look at me." She turned in her chair and looked at him. He caressed her cheek and smiled. "I'll love you no matter what. There is no way I couldn't." She blushed and smiled. "Can I hug you?" She nodded and his eyes widened when she held onto him tightly. He closed his eyes and sighed in content. She pulled away and her blush grew when she looked at him. "I love you, Sammy." She smiled. "I know you still love me." She nodded. "One day, I hope you will be able to forgive me. One day, I hope you can look at me the way you used to before…everything that happened. One day, I hope you can tell me you love me without a but attached to it."

Tears filled her eyes as she nodded. "_I hope so too, Sirius._"

Sirius stared at her when she held his face in her hands and looked at him closely. "What are you doing, Sammy?" She bit her lip and continued to stare at him. "Baby, what are you doing?" She gulped before leaning in and kissing his lips lightly. Sam pulled away and smiled when she saw the wide smile on his face. "You just kissed me." She nodded and blinked rapidly. He let out a tiny laugh. "You kissed me of your own free will!" She blushed and nodded. "Does this mean we're back together?" She sighed as she shook her head. He sighed in defeat. "I knew it." She looked at him oddly. "I knew that you didn't mean to kiss me."

She grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away. He waited as she wrote down what she had to say. "_I did mean to kiss you. I kissed you because I wanted to, Sirius. I…I've missed kissing you._" He looked at her closely before he started reading again. "_We have so much to work through. We have so many problems and I'm still so mad at you but I still love you so much._" He had tears in his eyes when he looked at her. "_I can't wait for the day when I can look at you without any pain or anger. I look forward to the day when I can touch you, and love you without freaking out._" His chin trembled. "_I do miss you, Sirius. I miss my husband._" She stood up. "_I do love you and always will. I don't know if we will be able to get back together but I do know that I want you around. I want you in my life…even if it is just as a friend._" She took a step closer to him. "_I don't freak out all of the time when you touch me. You and Lily are the only ones that happens with. I can't explain it. I just know that being touched by you doesn't scare me all of the time._"

He turned his head and looked at her. "Do you mean this?" She nodded as she wiped his eyes. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes as he sighed. "I miss you too, Sammy." She wrapped her arms around his neck slowly. "I love you." He pulled her closer. "I love you so much." She smiled at him before kissing the corner of his mouth. "You're the only one I love."

"_I care about you too, Sirius._" She mouthed.

Sirius leaned in and kissed her. "We'll be ok, Sammy. I know we will be ok one day."

"_I know._"

He kissed her again. He tried to deepen the kiss but stopped when she stiffened. He sighed as he pulled away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Baby."

"_I know, Sirius._"

Sirius kissed her again. "I knew you still wanted me." She laughed and punched his arm. He yelped. "That hurt!" She shrugged. He winked at her. "We both know you still want me." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I still want you too." She blushed. "We both know I still want you." She laughed in response.

James kissed Lily. "They are so stupid." He muttered.

Lily looked at him closely. "Why do you say that?"

He shrugged. "They want to be together. They've always wanted to be together. They need to get past all the bullshit and be together. Just like we did."

She smiled. "They will get back together one day, James."

"How do you know that?"

She laughed and shrugged. "They are meant to be." He smiled. "They have true love like we do and we both know that true love never dies."

He laughed. "You are one smart woman." She nodded eagerly. "I love you, Evans."

"I love you too, Potter."

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"_I had my first date today. My first date was with the Daniel Benjamin! It was…amazing! I had the best time in my life! We went to Hogsmede with Romeo, Margie, and Daniel's friends._

_Daniel was so sweet and polite. He acted like a complete gentleman. He knew it was my first date and he wanted to make it special for me. We spent most of our time with our friends but we were able to have some time alone. He told me that he had a crush on me since beginning of term but was too shy to ask me out. He thought I would never look at him the way I do Casanova. He told me how thrilled and excited he was when I said yes. He told me that he would love to spend some more alone time with me._

_I told him that even though I had a stupid crush on Casanova, I did notice him. I told him I thought he was so cute, sweet, smart, and funny. He blushed! He actually blushed when I complimented him! I told him how I never thought someone like him would be interested in someone like me. He said I was crazy. He said he thought I was cute, sweet, smart, and funny too. He had no idea why no one has ever asked me out before but guessed that it was because of Casanova. I didn't know what he meant._

_Daniel told me that Casanova would always say that if anyone even thought about asking me out, he would beat them up. He never threatened Daniel, only boys in my year. Casanova never expected him to have feeling for me. I still didn't believe it. I asked him why Casanova would do that. He told me that it was probably because that Casanova was so protective of me. I was his best friend and he didn't want me to get hurt. He also said that he thought that Casanova liked being the only one I had eyes for. He liked that I had a crush on him and didn't want that to end because someone else got in the way._

_I was surprised as hell when he told me this. I couldn't believe my ears. I didn't understand it but it doesn't matter anymore. Casanova doesn't want me the way I want him. I have to move on. I need to move on. I will always have him in my heart but I will never be with him because he doesn't want me. You can only be a fool for so long before it becomes ridiculous. It's starting to become ridiculous._

_He held my hand the entire time. He is so wonderful. I never imagined he could be so wonderful. He was so attentive and I loved every minute of it! I never expected him to be this amazing or to have such an amazing time._

_We ran into Casanova and his latest girlfriend. It hurt when he didn't acknowledge me. It was like he looked right through me. I couldn't understand why he was acting like that but it doesn't matter anymore. If he wants to act like a prat and stop being my friend just because I have a date then let him. I don't need him. I don't need his approval…I just miss him. Anyway I forgot to tell you the best news! As we were walking back to school, Daniel asked me to be his girlfriend! Once again, I was shocked! I told him I would love to be his girlfriend. He kissed my cheek. Daniel told me that he knew he was my first boyfriend and wanted to take things slow. He wanted me to be comfortable with him before things became serious. He is so wonderful! What did I ever do to deserve someone so wonderful_?"

Sam laughed as she finished the entry. Kathleen was so excited about her new boyfriend. She was so surprised that someone was interested in her. She rolled her eyes. Her grandma seemed so cute when she was thirteen. She was so excited that she found someone who would show how he felt without any hesitation. She read a few more entries because Kathleen didn't write that much about her new relationship. She mentioned how sweet Daniel was and how much he respected her. They shared their first kiss a week after they got together. It was a brief kiss because Casanova interrupted them.

"Sam?"

She looked up and smiled when she saw Lily. "_Yes_?"

Lily smiled at her. "Madam Hooch is here. She says it's time for your run."

Sam nodded as she stood up. "_Thank you._"

She smirked at her as they went down the stairs to meet Madam Hooch. "How are you?" Sam shrugged in response. Lily laughed. "I saw you with Sirius last night." Sam nodded slowly. "I saw you kiss him." She sighed. "I can't believe you did that!"

She scribbled down a note for Lily to read. "_Neither can I. I didn't think I would do it but…it felt right._" Lily smiled. "_He was saying the sweetest things and it just felt right to do it. I was terrified when I kissed him._"

"Why were you terrified? You've kissed him before."

Sam shrugged. "_I know I have but it is different now. I have so much trouble being touched but…it is different with him. I don't freak out all of the time when he touches me. I don't understand it._"

Lily smiled. "You love him and he loves you. The two of you have a special connection with each other. It's understandable why he can touch you. You will be able to touch him without any difficulty one day." Sam nodded. "Do you love him?" She nodded. "Do you miss him?" She nodded again. "Have you forgiven him?" She shook her head. "Do you want to?" She nodded. Lily sighed. "Do you want him back?"

"_I do but I don't. There are times when we get along so well but there is also so much pain between us._"

They hugged. "You'll figure it out soon enough, Sammy. I know you will be able to." Sam smiled. "I just want you to know that Sirius does love you. He has made so many mistakes but he does love you." Sam smiled. "Everything will work out eventually." They hugged again. "I'll see you later." Sam waved goodbye. Lily sighed again. "I hope everything works out."

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"You have got to stop this! You made me a promise and I won't let you go back on it! You can't keep doing this!" 

Sam looked down at the ground. "_I'm sorry. I didn't plan on it happening. It just did._"

Alan rubbed his eyes. "You may not have planned on it but it did happen!" She sighed. "Sam, I know you still love him but you need to stop letting him kiss you. You can't kiss him again." She nodded slowly. "You need to be single. You need to…you can't kiss or have sex."

"_I know that._"

He sighed. "I know you know that, Sam. I know you can do this. You are stronger than your hormones." She laughed. He smiled. "Ok, I'll stop lecturing you…until I write to you." She smiled. "Let's start punching things!" She laughed as she stood up. Dumbledore's office was transformed. Half of the room looked the same but the other half was empty except for a red punching bag hanging in the middle. They stood in front of it and she looked at him closely. He smiled. "This is the punching bag I told you about." She nodded. "It will take form of one of the people you are mad at." She nodded slowly. "We'll start off with…Remus."

"_I'm not mad at Remus._"

Alan smirked. "Yes, you are." She started to write but he stopped her. "Don't write anything." Her head cocked to the side. He groaned. "I never thought I'd say this but I do miss you talking." She smirked. "Shut up!" She continued to smirk. He groaned. "Let's begin!" She nodded. "You still have unresolved feelings for Remus and this is one of the ways you will get over him." She nodded again. He waved his wand and the punching bag looked like Remus. "Now, start punching!" Sam sighed and hit the bag lightly. He rolled his eyes. "That was pathetic!" She shrugged. "Close your eyes and picture him in your mind." She did as she was told. "I want you to imagine that you are in your fourth year and he is saying the things he said to you when he broke up with you. He called you a whore. He said you weren't good enough!" She gritted her teeth. He smiled. "That's good. Now, imagine him when he was cheating on you during the pregnancy scare." She growled. His smile grew. "Now, I want you to think about the night of the ball when he was drunk and said all of those things to you." She started to shake with anger. "Open your eyes and look at the bag." Her eyes opened and she glared at the bag that looked like Remus. "I want you to start punching the bag now!"

She started attacking the punching bag. She growled and let out silent screams. She was screaming at the bag as loud as she could but no sound came out. He laughed. "I don't know what you're saying but I know its helping!" She kept punching the bag. "That's it! You're doing great!" The bag fell to the floor and she jumped on top of it. His eyes widened. He didn't expect this but he liked it. "Keep going, Sam!" She wailed on the bag. He let out a low whistle. "You have a lot of aggression in you!" She was losing steam and flopped down on top of the bag. She was drenched with sweat and she was breathing heavy. He held out his hand and she took it. He helped her up and chuckled when he saw her bleeding knuckles. "I forgot to give you the boxing gloves." Sam wiped her brow and looked at her knuckles. She shrugged and looked at him. He smiled. "You did good, kid." She smiled. "It's a good thing we started with Remus. If it was anyone else, I'm afraid I'd see your bones instead of just blood." She smirked. "How do you feel?" She shrugged. He handed her a towel. "How do you feel, Sam?"

Sam grabbed the quill and winced. She shook out her hand before grabbing the quill again. "_I feel…lighter._" He smiled slowly. "_Does that make any sense?_"

He nodded. "Yes, it makes perfect sense." She gave him a small smile. "Are you ready to continue?" Her eyebrow rose. He smirked. "Did you think we were done?" She nodded slowly. He laughed. "We aren't done. You're little outburst only lasted fifteen minutes. We have another forty-five minutes until we are done." She groaned. He laughed again. "Ok, let's start again but this time, we will use the gloves." She nodded. "So, we are going to stick with Remus for the rest of the night. Is that alright with you?" She shrugged. His eyebrow rose. "You are acting rather indifferent." She shrugged again. He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Let's continue." He helped her put on the gloves and smiled. "Your arms are going to be really sore tomorrow."

She smiled. "_They are already sore._"

Alan looked at her oddly and nodded. "I'll just assume that you agreed with me." She laughed. "Are you ready to start again?" She punched the gloves together and nodded as she bounced on the balls of her feet. He laughed. "You seem eager." She smirked. "Ok, we are still focusing on Remus." She nodded again. "I want you to get rid of all of your aggression towards him. So, close your eyes again and picture Remus." She closed her eyes. "I want you to remember all the times you saw him with Hannah after your first breakup. I want you to remember how he pretended to shag her just to piss you off. I want you to remember how he tried to hurt you by flirting with her and other girls. I want you to remember how he would kiss her in front of you just to make you angry and jealous." Her shoulders tensed. "Do you remember how it felt when you saw him with her after the last breakup?" She nodded quickly. "Do you remember how he would kiss and grope her in front of you? Didn't it remind you of how you found him with her after he made you get the results of your pregnancy test alone? It made you feel like a fool, didn't it? He hurt and humiliated you when he cheated on you, didn't he?" She nodded. "Now, open your eyes and punch the bag." Sam's eyes flew open and she jumped back onto the bag. He laughed. "Kick the crap out of it, Sam!" She was screaming, punching, and kicking like a mad woman. He laughed again. "You're doing great, Sam! Keep going!" He watched her in amazement as she kept fighting the punching bag. He kept on encouraging her and egging her on. Alan looked at his watch and smiled. She was still punching but lost some of her steam. Her breathing was heavy and ragged. Her shirt was soaked through and her hair was plastered to her face. He stopped her. "Ok, time is up, Sam." She flopped down against the bag and tried to catch her breath. Alan helped her up and smiled at her. "You did great, Sam." She gave him a tired smile. "I'm proud of you."

Sam beamed at him. "_Thank you, Alan._"

He smiled. "You are welcome, Sam." He patted her on the back and wiped his hand on the towel. "I am proud of you." She smiled again. He looked at her and laughed. "You do sweat a lot, don't you?" She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Well, you do sweat a lot!" She laughed again. "I'll see you next time." She nodded. "Be sure to shower before you go to bed. This is not a good look for you."

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"_It's been two months since my first date with Daniel and everything is still amazing and wonderful. He is still sweet and considerate. He tries not to push me into things I'm not ready for but I know he wants more from me than the occasional quick peck on the lips. I want to do more but I'm not sure if I should. I've never had a boyfriend before and I've only kissed two boys. I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to the girls but they might think I'm weird. Some of them have already had sex. What if they think I'm weird because I haven't done anything except kiss?_

_Well, besides this small and confusing situation, Casanova talked to me for the first time. He came up to me and apologized. He said that he missed me. He said he didn't realize how much he really needed me. He missed his best friend. Casanova told me that he would do his best to accept my relationship with Daniel. I was so happy. He gave me the biggest hug and told me that he just wanted me to be happy._

_I've missed him so much and I am so happy to have him back. I told him this and he had the biggest smile on his face. He said he was glad to have me back too. He is the one I talk to about all of my problems with and I needed his help. He said we could talk about anything and he would try to help in anyway he could._

_Casanova said he would listen without flying off the handle…after I made him promise. I told him all about my relationship with Daniel and he seemed pleased that I've only kissed him a little. I asked him if I was weird because I haven't done more than kiss Daniel. He smiled in that way I love and reassured me that I wasn't weird. He said it was good that I wait. He suggested I wait until I was married to do other things but I said I didn't want to wait that long. I wanted to experience everything like all of my friends did. He was shocked to say the least. That's when he said something I never expected. He said that I could try all those things with him first before I did anything with Daniel._

_I couldn't believe he said that. I laughed and told him he was funny. He smiled and said he thought I'd get a kick out of that. I don't know why but he seemed upset when I laughed. Do you think he wants to be with me? No, I didn't think so either. He was just joking like he always does. He is great like that. He is always trying to make me laugh when I am upset or need help._

_We talked for a long time. He told me all about his many girlfriends. It was so much fun to be with him again. He asked if we could hang out tonight but I already promised to spend some time with Daniel. He was disappointed so I told him that since Romeo and Margie would be hanging out with us, he could as well. He seemed excited and accepted the offer. He said he would tell his current girlfriend he was busy. I was shocked again. He was willing to break plans snogging his girlfriend to spend time with me. He said he missed me and wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. I've never been happier._"

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Michael and Sam were sitting in the library. They were doing their homework but kept stopping to talk. He smiled as he watched her write. She stopped writing when she felt his eyes on her. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "_Why are you staring at me, Michael_?" She wrote to him. 

His smile grew. "I have no idea." She gave him a weird look. "I was just wondering something." She motioned for him to continue. "I was wondering how you were doing." She shrugged. "Have you had anymore run-ins with _him_?" She shook her head. "That's good. Unfortunately, I had to sit near him in History of Magic." Her eyes widened. "Luckily, I was able to move my seat so I wouldn't be in his line of fire." She sighed before smiling. "What's wrong?"

Sam sighed again before writing. "_I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to have to be around him. I don't want to be around him. There is a chance he could go crazy again and try to attack you or someone else._"

He patted her hand. "Sam, I'm fine. I will be fine. I am able to walk without those fucking crutches and I don't topple over, which is a huge plus." She laughed lightly. "He is under constant supervision. There is no way he can attack anyone ever again."

"_He managed to get away from Slughorn and came near me._"

Michael rolled his eyes. "Slughorn wasn't doing his job. He wasn't thinking and _he _was able to get away but Slughorn has been much better about that. You know he has been." She nodded slowly. He sighed. "Let's talk about something else." She nodded again. "How…have you read anything interesting in the journal?" She shrugged. "Do you think I could read it with you?"

She smiled. "_That would be nice._" He smiled. "_Would you like to read it with me now_?"

He nodded. "I'd love to."

They shared a smile and scooted closer to each other. She showed him one of the first entries of the journal. They didn't notice the person standing in front of them. He glared at Michael and was fuming when he saw that they were reading the journal together. He gritted his teeth. "What is going on here?"

They looked up and Michael rolled his eyes. "Nothing is going on here, Black."

Sirius sneered. "It looks like something is going on."

He groaned. "We are just reading!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's such a fucking scandal! Two friends are hanging out and reading together! I demand you write to the Daily Prophet and tell them about this horrid behavior!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "_Can the two of you stop acting like this? You are making a scene_!"

He glared at her. "I don't care if I'm making a scene!"

Michael laughed. "It doesn't surprise me that you could careless about what Sam wants." Sirius growled. Sam groaned. "Why don't you leave us alone? We were in the middle of something." Sirius was about to speak but Michael interrupted him. "Why aren't you leaving?"

Sirius' fists clenched. "Why don't you go fuck yourself?" He looked at Sam and shook his head. "How can you think he is better than me?" Sam blinked in confusion. "He may not act the way I've acted in the past but he is a possessive asshole!"

"And, you aren't possessive of her?" Michael asked.

He sneered at him. "I wasn't talking to you, Lewis! Why would I bother?"

He gritted his teeth. "You are the reason why we were attacked, Black! You are lucky she married you! Otherwise, she would have left you and there was no way you could hold onto her! The only reason she talks to you now is because you tricked her into marrying you! Your lies are the only reason why you got her!"

Sirius resisted the urge to punch him. "You are lucky that I'm on probation or you wouldn't be breathing right now!" He looked at Sam. "I can't believe you choose to spend time with him!"

Sam sighed in defeat when he left. "_Michael, you shouldn't have started with him._"

Michael shrugged. "He deserved it. He has no right to tell you who to be friends with."

"_I know he doesn't. For some reason, he was hurt when he saw me with you and he lashed out. I should go check on him._"

"Sam, you don't have to do that. He wants you to follow him. He just wants attention."

She sighed again. "_That may be true but I still have to check on him._" He sighed. "_Michael, Sirius and I may not be together but he is still my husband. I have an obligation to him._"

Michael smiled at her. "You don't owe him anything. After everything he has done, he is the one that owes you."

She shrugged. "_He has made many mistakes but I can't hold it against him. We all make mistakes in our life. No one is perfect._" He nodded. "_I'll see you later._"

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Sirius stomped down the halls and growled at whoever chose to look at him. He kicked the stone pillar and yelped. His toes were in agony as he hopped around with his foot waving in the air. His face contorted in pain as he growled. Sam watched him closely and smiled as he hopped around. She walked over to him and grabbed his arm when he almost fell over. He glared at her. "What are you doing here?" She let him go and he almost fell to the ground but she held him up. He rolled his eyes. "I don't need your help." She gave him a look and he sighed. "Ok, I do need your help." She nodded. He leaned on her and she guided him back to the common room. He sat on the table and glared at her. "Thank you for your help." She nodded. "You can go now!" 

Sam looked at him in surprise. "_What's wrong_?"

He shrugged. "Nothing is wrong. I just don't want you around!" She shook her head. He growled. "Why don't you go back to your precious Michael? I'm sure he misses you!" Her eyebrow rose. He glared at her. "I'm sorry! Did I interrupt the fun you two were having?" He started to get even angrier than before. He started whipping his arms around like a mad man. "I'm sure he would love it if you left me to go back to him! I bet you can't wait to go back to him!"

James and Lily walked in but stopped when they saw Sirius yelling at Sam. "This should be fun." Lily muttered. "I wonder what they are fighting about now." He shrugged in response. "Let's find out."

Sirius groaned. "I can't believe you waste your time with that asshole!" Sam sighed. "He is the biggest-!" He stopped when he slapped her across the face. Sam stumbled and held her cheek. His eyes widened. "Oh shit!"

"Sirius, what did you just do?" Lily demanded.

She looked at him. "_What is going on with you_?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nothing is going on with me! I just want to talk to James in peace! You can leave now!" Sam looked at him closely before walking away with Lily. James glared at him. "Don't look at me like that!"

James continued to stare at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You've been acting weird all day."

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." He sat down next to him on the table. "What's going on, Padfoot?"

He sighed. "I saw Sam with Michael in the library." James motioned for him to continue. "It pissed me off."

He laughed. "Should this surprise me?" Sirius let out a tiny laugh. "Ok, why did it piss you off this time?"

Sirius looked down at the ground. "I had a bad dream last night." James gave him a weird look. "I dreamt that I found Sam and Michael shagging in my bed. When I yelled at them to stop, Sam laughed at me. She said that I shouldn't be surprised she went to Michael. He is better than me in every way and I was just someone she used for sex. She called me worthless and pointless. She said I was pathetic and then, she went back to shagging that jackass!"

James laughed again. "Are you kidding me?" Sirius glared at him. "What? It's an honest question!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mate, Sam would never cheat on you especially with Michael! She may not be able to tell you how she feels but she does love you. Sam is faithful and loyal. You know this!" He nodded slowly. "You should tell her about this." He shook his head. "She needs to know why you lashed out at her."

"She'll laugh at me."

"So what if she does? She still needs to know what's going on."

He nodded slowly. "I guess you are right…I might consider it."

He rolled his eyes. "That's good to know." Sirius smirked. "I have one question for you." Sirius looked at him. "Why did you hit her again?"

Sirius blushed. "That was an accident. Honestly, I never meant to hit her."

James nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. Just try and stop having those accidents."

"I'll try, Prongs."

Lily and Sam walked over to them. Lily glared at Sirius. "Sam would like to know if you are alright."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm fine." He glared at Sam. "You can leave!"

Sam sighed and went to walk away but stopped when James grabbed her arm. She pulled away and looked at him. "_What_?"

James sighed. "You aren't going anywhere." She looked at him closely. "Lily and I are leaving. I would like it if you would help Sirius up to his room." Sirius opened his mouth but closed it when James glared at him. He smiled at Sam. "Would you help him up to his room?" She nodded. "Thank you, Sammy…uh…Sam."

She helped Sirius up and let him lean on her. "_Come on._" She mouthed to him.

Lily watched them walk up the stairs. "What is going on?" James explained the situation and she laughed. "He is such an idiot!"

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Sam set Sirius down on his bed and helped him get comfortable. He pushed her hands off of him. "Do you mind? I don't need your help! Just leave!" She shrugged and went to leave. He sighed. "Sam, don't go." She stopped and turned to look at him. "I'm sorry about…yelling at you." 

She nodded slowly. "_What's wrong_?" He looked at her oddly. She sighed and looked around for parchment and a quill. She scribbled down a note to him. "_What's wrong? Why do you keep snapping at me? Did I upset you?_"

Sirius shook his head. "No, you didn't. It was me." She looked at him closely. "If I tell you the reason, do you promise not to laugh?" She nodded. He told her about his dream and she laughed. He glared at her. "Thank you for not laughing at me."

Sam smiled at him. "_Sirius, you are crazy_!" He rolled his eyes. "_I would never cheat on you especially with Michael_!" He smiled. "_He is just my friend. I don't want to shag him or anyone else for that matter. Even if the mere thought of being that close to someone didn't make my skin crawl, I'd still never cheat on you. You are my husband and you are lucky that I don't believe in cheating._" He smiled again. "_By the way, I'd never think that Michael's better than you. You aren't pathetic, pointless, or worthless. You are a really great guy._"

His smile grew. "Do you mean that?" She nodded. "I'm sorry I slapped you again. It was an accident."

"_I know it was, Sirius._"

Sirius sighed. "Sam, why did you come after me?"

She smiled at him again. "_I told Michael it was because I had an obligation to you as your wife._" He sighed in defeat. "_But the real reason is because I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure that you were ok._"

A wide smile appeared on his face. "I'm fine now that you are here." Her smile grew. "Sammy, would you stay with me? Can we spend time together?" She shrugged and left the room. He sighed in defeat again. He glared at the ceiling. His foot was throbbing and he was mad that she left. He looked at her in surprise when she walked back into the room a few minutes later. "You're back." She nodded slowly. "I thought you left." She shook her head. "Where did you go?"

Sam smirked. "_You said you wanted to spend time together._" He nodded slowly. "_I have a lot of homework to do. I went to get my books. I figured I could do my homework here while we hang out._" He smiled brightly. "_Let me check your foot._" He nodded again. He got comfortable on the bed before she took off his shoe. Her face scrunched up in disgust and he laughed. "_Learn to change your socks_!" He smirked and shrugged. He winced when she touched his toe. She sighed. "_Your toe is bruised but it will be fine. Just keep it elevated._" She put a pillow under his foot and sat down next to him. She smiled at him. "_Hi._"

Sirius winked at her. "Hi." She looked away and blushed. He laughed and rubbed her back. "I love you, Sammy."

She shrugged. "_I know and I don't blame you one bit._" He laughed before yawning. "_Why don't you go to sleep? You must be tired._"

He nodded. "That sounds nice." She smiled. "Will you stay with me while I sleep?"

Sam nodded. "_I'll stay with you, Sirius._"

Sirius smiled. "Thank you, Sammy." She nodded. He fell asleep.

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They walked into the room as quiet as possible but kept laughing. They closed the door behind them and crept over to the bed. He kept his eyes closed and tried to hold in a laugh. They were by his side and were about to wake him up but he surprised them by jumping up and growling. They jumped and screamed in surprise. He started laughing and they soon joined in. He moved over and they sat down next to him. "Sirius, you scared the crap out of me!" James muttered. 

Sirius laughed lightly. "Well, the two of you deserved it! You were trying to scare me!" James shrugged. He looked at Sam and his pulse started to race. He smiled when he could see her blush in the darkened room. "What are you doing in here?"

James smiled. "It's this tradition we have."

"What? Terrorize guests while they are asleep?"

Sam let out a tiny giggle. "No, that's not it." She whispered.

His smile grew. "Well, what is it, Sammy?" Her blush grew. He felt giddy. He loved the fact that she would blush at whatever he said. "Why did you two come in here?"

He sighed. "In about four minutes, it will be midnight." Sirius nodded slowly. "So, every year on my birthday and Sam's birthday, we sneak out of our beds and go out on the balcony outside your window. Whoever's birthday it is makes a wish on the first star they see." James blushed. "I know it seems lame but it is a tradition." Sirius smiled. "Do you want to come with us?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'll come with you guys." They got off the bed and opened the window. They stepped out onto the balcony and Sam stood in between the two boys. He looked at his watch. "It is officially July fifteenth. You are now eleven. Are you ready to make your wish, Sammy?"

She was staring at the sky and had a faint smile on her face when she picked out her star and closed her eyes. "Yes, I am."

Sirius watched her closely as she took her time making her wish. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. His heart was thumping in his chest. "Did you make your wish?"

She nodded slowly before looking back at the sky. James yawned. "I'm going back to bed. Happy Birthday, Sammy."

He was entranced by her. She didn't seem to notice that he was staring at her. Sam was staring at her star with the widest smile on her face. She looked away from the sky and smiled at him. "Where did James go?"

Sirius gulped. "He…uh…he went to bed."

Sam's blush returned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you. I'm sure you want to go to bed."

He shook his head. "No, you don't have to go!" She looked at him in surprise. He blushed. "You can stay if you like." She smiled slowly. They stood side by side and stared at the sky together. His palms were sweating. He glanced at her. She was so beautiful. "Sammy, can I ask you something?"

She smiled at him. "Of course you can, Sirius. You can ask me anything."

Sirius gulped again. "Would…would you like to…would you like to dance with me in honor of your birthday?"

Sam bit her lip and blushed. "Are you sure you want to dance with me?" He nodded eagerly. Her blush grew. "I-I would love to, Sirius."

He bowed. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Black?" Her eyes widened. He let out a nervous laugh. "I-I…uh…I was just joking around." She nodded quickly. "May I have this dance, Ms. Potter?"

She nodded again. "Yes, you may, Mr. Black." He brought her closer to him and they shared a gulp. "H-How…uh…how are you feeling?" He looked at her oddly. She smiled shyly. "You had…um…that boy injury yesterday. Are you feeling any better?"

Sirius blushed especially when he felt the familiar boy injury start to rise up again. "I'm…uh…I'm fine now. I promised you that I would feel better for your birthday, Sammy."

Sam's face was on fire when she looked at him. Their temples rested against each other. Her eyes closed. "This is turning out to be the best birthday I've ever had, Sirius."

He smiled at her. "Why is that?" She wouldn't look at him. He groaned in pain. "No, not again!" He muttered.

She looked at him oddly. "Are you alright?" He gulped and nodded quickly. She tightened her arms around his neck. "Are you sure?" He gave her a nervous smile and hoped that she didn't notice what was wrong. She smiled. "Thank you for asking me to dance, Sirius."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "Thank you for saying yes."

Sam pulled away. "I should go. I-I've stayed too long."

He grabbed her hand when she went to leave. "You don't have to go."

"You…you want me to stay?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, I do." She smiled in surprise. "Can I have at least one more dance with you?"

She couldn't believe her ears. "Y-You can have as many dances as you want, Sirius." He smiled slowly. She took a deep breath before resting her head on his shoulder. "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

Sirius was beaming. "Your birthday isn't over yet, Sammy." He whispered.

Sam lifted her head off of his shoulder. "Can I…?"

"What is it?"

"Can I kiss your cheek?"

His eyes widened in delight. "If you want to."

Her face flushed. "I want to." She muttered.

They stopped dancing. She closed her eyes and aimed for his cheek. He moved his head and her lips kissed the corner of his mouth. They pulled away and smiled at each other. "Thank you, Sammy."

"Thank you, Sirius."

Sirius walked her to her room and gave her a nervous smile. "I hope you had fun." She nodded eagerly. "I know I did." She blushed. He kissed her cheek. "Have sweet dreams tonight, Sammy."

Sam kissed his cheek. "Sweet dreams, Sirius."

He stared at her door in amazement. He couldn't believe the night he had with her. He felt like he could walk on air. She danced with him and asked to kiss his cheek. She kissed his cheek again and he never felt happier. He walked back into his room and sighed in content. He groaned when his boy injury reappeared. "This has got to stop!" He muttered. His thoughts turned to Sam and he groaned again. "I love you, Sammy." He fell asleep.


	74. Chapter 73: All I Want

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay. A lot of stuff going on now. I didn't proof it. I'm too tired. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter 73: All I Want.

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Sirius rolled over and sighed in content. His nose was filled with her scent. His eyes opened slowly and he let out a small gasp. Sam was close to him and she was sound asleep. His arms tightened around her and he tried moving his legs but her books were all over his bed. He kicked his legs out and her books fell to the ground. He looked at her and hoped she didn't wake up because he knew she would leave if she did wake up. He eased his body close to hers and sighed in relief when she stayed asleep. Sirius took in her scent before planting small kisses on her neck. "I love you so much, Baby." He whispered.

Sam turned around in his arms and snuggled closer to him. He smiled at her. Sirius kissed her lips. Her arms wrapped around him tightly. "I miss you so much, Sammy." He kissed her again. "I miss hearing your voice. I miss you loving me like you used to." He sighed. "You mean so much to me. I meant so much to you before everything. I hope that one day you can forgive me and come back to me." He caressed her cheek. "You are all I think about. You are all I want." He kissed the bruise on her cheek that he gave her when he slapped her. "I told you I would be better and I'm trying to keep my promise. I want to be the man you need. I want to be the man you will love forever." He took her arm in his hand and kissed her stitches. "You don't have to be sad anymore. You don't have to try doing that again. I will make sure you are taken care of. I love you so much."

She yawned before opening her eyes and looking at him. Her eyes widened when she saw how close they were and when she noticed him looking at her stitches. He smiled at her. "_Sirius_?"

He smiled again. "Hi Sammy."

Sam sat up. "_What's going on_?"

Sirius looked at her in confusion. "What did you say?" She opened her mouth but he stopped her. "You should write it down." She nodded and searched for a quill. He smiled when he read the note. "Nothing is going on. You must have fallen asleep when you were doing your homework." She nodded again and wrote him another note. He laughed lightly. "My foot is fine. Thank you for asking." She shrugged. "How are you? Did you sleep alright?" She smiled slowly and nodded. "I'm glad. I slept great." She smiled again. "It was nice sleeping with you again. I enjoyed it."

She blushed. "_I know. I felt your enjoyment._" He blushed. "_What time is it_?"

He yawned before checking his watch. "It's almost time for dinner." She nodded and moved away from him so she could stretch. He poked her in the sides. She jumped and gave him a mock glare. He smiled at her. "Did you sleep alright?" She nodded and pointed at him. "Did I sleep well?" She nodded again. He shrugged. "I slept just fine." She smiled. "Did you have any dreams?" She shrugged. "I had this one dream."

She looked at him closely. "_What did you dream about_?" He blushed. "_You don't have to tell me if you don't want to._"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I don't mind telling you." She stared at him. "I dreamt of…you." She looked at him in confusion. "Do you remember the night of your eleventh birthday? Do you remember how we went out onto the balcony and danced after you made your birthday wish?" She smiled and nodded. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I was dreaming about that night."

Sam smiled in confusion. "_Why were you dreaming about that_?"

He shrugged. "I have no idea." She nodded slowly. "I just know that that night was one of the best nights of my life."

She blushed. "_No, it wasn't._"

Sirius caressed her cheek. "Yes, it was."

"_Why is that_?"

He inched closer to her. She bit her lip. "It was one of the best nights of my life because I got to be with you all alone. I got to dance with you." Her blush grew. "And, I got a kiss from you…even though it was on the corner of my mouth and on my cheek."

She smiled slowly. "_Are you telling me the truth_?" He nodded. "_It was one of the best birthdays I've ever had._"

Sirius was beaming. "I know. You told me so." She laughed. "Sam, can I ask you something?"

Sam smiled. "_Of course you can. You can ask me anything._"

He held her hand in his and smiled when she didn't pull away. "Do you…do you know why you can let me touch you sometimes? Do you know why you can touch me without freaking out sometimes?" She shook her head. He sighed. "Oh, I see."

She pulled her hand away and wrote him a note. She handed him a note and went back to holding his hand. "_Lily said that we have a strong connection like I do with her._" Sam laughed and rolled her eyes when she tapped the last part of the note. "_She said we have true love and true love never dies. She says that when two people have true love, they have this strong bond. A strong bond that comes shining through especially during the hard times._" He laughed when he read the last sentence she wrote. "_Obviously, Lily has been reading too many of those romance novels that she loves so much._"

Sirius laughed again before kissing the back of her hand. "You may be right but she does have a point." She looked at him in confusion. "We do have true love, Samantha." She smiled. "We do have true love and that gives us a bond no one, including us, can explain."

Sam smiled again. "_That sounds nice._" He smiled. "_I know we have that. I know this and that's what makes me want to forgive you._"

His smile grew. "Do you really want to forgive me, Sammy?" She nodded. "I want you to forgive me too."

She sighed. "_Even is it means that we can only be friends_?" He sighed. "_Sirius, I want to forgive you but I don't know if I can be with you again._"

"Who would you be with besides me?"

"_I don't want anyone else. I have gone from guy to guy and all it's brought me is pain when I was looking for love. Alan was right. I need to be alone for a while. I need to find out more about myself so I can be happy. I need to find happiness within myself and not depend on someone else to give it to me for once. Do you understand what I'm telling you_?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "I understand." She gave him a small smile. "That doesn't necessarily mean I'm out of the picture, right?" She looked at him oddly. "I know you. I know you better than you think." She smiled. "I know you can find the happiness you are looking for." Her smile grew. "And, I'm happy to know that I don't have any competition for your heart." She laughed. "But after you find your peace and your happiness, does this mean that there is still a chance for us to be together?"

Sam sighed. "_I don't want to give you false hope, Sirius._"

"I'm not asking for false hope. I'm asking for an honest answer, Sammy."

She shrugged. "_There is always a chance for us, Sirius. Whenever we break up or get into a fight, we always come back to each other._" He smiled. "_I'm not giving you a definite answer. I'm just telling you that I don't know the future and that I can't say for sure if we will get back together but there is always a chance that it might happen._"

He kissed her. "That's all I wanted to know."

Sam gave him a look. "_Alan says you can't kiss me anymore_!"

Sirius smirked. "Well, stop being so kissable."

She rolled her eyes. "_He yelled at me for letting you kiss me so much. He says I can't let it happen again._"

He had an evil glint in his eye. "Do you let me kiss you?" She rolled her eyes again. He laughed. "He shouldn't have yelled at you. He should yell at me for being so damn irresistible." She laughed. "You know I am! Don't try to deny it, Sammy!"

Sam smirked. "_You're such a git_!"

Sirius laughed again. "Stop it! You're making me blush!" She laughed again. He pulled her to him and kissed her cheek. "Sam, you better stop it! You're letting me kiss you!" She swatted at his hands when he started tickling her. Sirius kissed her forehead. "I knew it! You can't resist me!" She shook her head. "You keep letting me kiss you!" Her face turned red when she started laughing hysterically while he tickled her. He got on top of her and she started to squirm. "What did you say, Sammy? You _want_ me to keep tickling you?" Her eyes widened as she shook her head. He had an evil smirk on his face. "I always knew you liked it when I tickled you!" They started to wrestle but he won and was on top of her. "Alan is going to be pissed when you tell him how much you let me kiss you!" Sirius kissed her lips. "He is going to yell at you for this! Sammy, you really need to control these urges of yours! I do have other hobbies besides kissing you!" She bit her lip to keep from laughing. She started squirming again. He kept tickling her. "You know you want to laugh, Baby!" Sam was shaking. She tried to hold in her laughter as much as possible but failed when he started tickling her behind her knees. Sirius let out a cheer of triumph. "I got you!"

James walked into the room but stopped when he saw them on the bed. Sirius was tickling Sam and she was laughing hysterically, he assumed. He smiled at the sight. They looked so happy together. They looked like how a happy newlywed couple should look. Sirius leaned in and kissed her. He laughed when she made a weird noise. James sneezed. They looked over at him and he hated the fact that he ruined their moment. "I see the two of you made up." Sirius nodded but didn't get off Sam. "I'm sorry to break up the fun but it's time for dinner."

He rolled off of her and they sat up. "That's great! I'm starving! I worked up an appetite trying to fight Sam off of me!" Sam rolled her eyes. "Prongs, your sister kept trying to kiss me! She is very aggressive but I think she knows who the boss is!" She gasped and pushed his shoulder. He laughed as he winked at her. "You know you can be _very_ aggressive." Her eyes widened and a huge blush crept across her face. He looked at him with a wide smile. "We'll be down in a minute." James nodded as he laughed. "But if I'm not down soon, you'll know Sam is trying to corrupt me again."

He laughed again. "I doubt anyone could corrupt you." Sirius smirked. "I'll see you two in a few minutes."

Sam pushed his shoulder again and laughed. "_You are a git_!"

Sirius shrugged. "I can be." They stood up. Sam bent down to pick up her books but he stopped her. "You don't have to do that now, Sammy. You can get them after dinner." She eyed him closely. He smirked. "I'll help you get them." She laughed and shook her head. Sirius stepped closer to her. "Unless, you can't control your urges again. Then I'll have to have a chaperone with us." She looked at him in disbelief and laughed. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door. "Come on! Let's go get something to eat! Protecting my virtue has made me hungry!" She pushed him. He grabbed her around the waist and held her to him for a moment. "I love you." She blushed. He smirked. "Let's go to dinner." She nodded and they left.

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"_I can't believe I've been with Daniel for a year! I never thought we'd make it this long! I never thought I could be happy with someone that wasn't Casanova! He is still so wonderful and amazing. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. I'm talking about Daniel, not Casanova…even though a part of me is still crazy about Casanova. Of course we've had our problems and fights but we've managed to work through everything and stay together. We've managed to get past all the crap we've had to deal with and be happy._

_I only have the tiniest problem with Daniel. Actually, I have two problems with him. My first problem with him is that I can't seem to find it in myself to tell him about what I am. The only other people who know what I am besides my parents are Romeo and Casanova. They were surprised as hell when I told them but they were and still are completely supportive. They still ask me if I'm alright after I wake up every morning. They sometimes ask me if I see fame and fortune in their futures. They can be such gits but I appreciate the fact that they care about me enough to ask how I am. They are really great to have around. But back to the point. I don't know why I haven't told Daniel. My Mum told me to only tell people I know I can trust. I trust Daniel. I really do but I just can't bring myself to tell him. Does that make me a bad person?_

_Well, I can't answer that now since I don't know what the answer is._

_My second problem with him is…sex. We haven't had sex yet but it's getting to the point where we keep talking about it and we keep getting closer and closer to having it but I always stop him before we go through with it. I love him. I really do but I'm scared. Sex changes things and I don't want anything to change between us._

_I'm also scared because I know it will hurt. All my friends know I'm a virgin and they have been telling me all about sex when I mentioned that Daniel and I were talking about it. They have told me about their first times and they have been giving me tips. It's nice of them to try and help me but I need the advice of someone else. I need Casanova._

_You may think I'm a complete nutter for going to him when I know how protective he is of me and how he will fly off the handle when I tell him this and how he will try to change my mind but he is still my best friend. We talk about everything and I know for a fact that I can trust him. I would go to Romeo but he is still a virgin. At least, I think he is. He doesn't like to talk about such things with me. He can be such a prude! Well, I'm going to go find Casanova and ask his advice. Wish me luck!_"

Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't believe how naïve Kathleen was. After reading the entries, Sam knew that Casanova would flip out when she talked to him about the possibility of having sex with Daniel. She could just imagine what the next entry was going to say.

"_Casanova flipped out when I told him the reason why I wanted to talk to him about sex. He was so angry. He thought that I was going to ask him to be my first but when I told him I was planning on having Daniel be my first, his face turned red and that's when he start yelling. I was glad that we were in his room when we talked or everyone would have found out!_

_He clamed down after some time and sat me down so we could talk. He asked me if I was a hundred percent sure if I was ready to sleep with Daniel. I told him the truth. I said I wasn't. I told him that I was thinking about it and after everyone's advice; I was even more confused than before. That's why I went to him._

_Casanova was quiet. He wouldn't look at me for the longest time and I was scared. I thought he was mad at me and disappointed. After ten of the longest minutes, he finally spoke. He told me that if I wasn't sure then I shouldn't do it. I asked him if he was saying that because he wanted me to stay a virgin for the rest of my life. He laughed at me. He said he never expected that I would stay a virgin. He expected me to be with him when I decided to have sex for the first time._

_I blushed and told him that I thought the same thing but he never seemed interested in me that way. He had this weird look in his eye when he turned and stared at me. It was a look I never saw before. He smiled in that way I love and asked me if it was too late. I had no idea what he was talking about. He asked me if it was too late because he wanted to know if I still wanted him to be my first. I said that I was with Daniel so it was too late. Casanova asked me if he could be my first and I called him a nutter. He laughed again and insisted that he wasn't one. He just wants my first time to be memorable and special so I don't become scared of sex for the rest of my life._

_I told him that was sweet but Daniel would make it special for me. He looked annoyed and asked me if I told him about what I was. I said no. Casanova smirked and said that if I can't trust Daniel with such a big secret then I couldn't trust him to have sex. I asked him if he thought I should tell him and he said no because he had a feeling that Daniel wouldn't accept it and try to hurt me. I know that this wasn't the case. Daniel would never do that to me._

_Casanova told me that if I told Daniel the truth and slept with him then I would be heartbroken but that is a lie. Daniel is so understanding and loving. There is no way he would hurt me like that. There is absolutely no way. He called me naïve. I said I know I can be but this isn't about that. I just wanted advice._

_He told me all about his sexual experience, that took a long time, and he also said again that my first time should be special. He said I should wait until I was completely sure. I told him I would wait and he never looked happier._"

Sam stretched out in her bed and yawned. She looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was the middle of the night. She knew she should go to bed but she didn't want to stop reading. She read a few others before she stopped at a particular one that caught her attention.

"_I'm so depressed. I took Casanova's advice and waited…for a month. I don't even know how it happened but it did. We were alone in his room and things started to get serious fast. We were kissing one moment and before I knew it, we were naked and about to start. He asked me if I was ok and I said yes. He kissed me slowly and that's when we started._

_It hurt. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would. Daniel was gently and stopped when the pain became too much. He was amazing and sweet but it wasn't enough. I love Daniel but…I don't know what I want to say._

_When we were done, he held me for a little while and kissed me. It was nice but it was still awkward. We had sex again and it still hurt but not as much as the first time. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him. We stayed in bed for a little while longer before I told him I still had homework to do. Daniel offered to help me but I told him that it was fine. I could do it on my own. He kissed me and watched me dress. That was embarrassing._

_I ran to my room and cried. I cried all the way past dinner. I just couldn't believe what happened. I couldn't believe what I did. I know now what Casanova meant. I should have waited longer because I do regret it. I never regretted anything more. I never wanted to be a virgin more._

_Casanova and Romeo cornered me after classes today. They were worried about me because I wasn't my usual talkative self in class. They noticed that I was avoiding them and Daniel. I didn't sit with them at breakfast or lunch. I didn't sit with them during classes. I was quiet all day and they couldn't take it. They actually talked before corning me. They actually came together without fighting just to try and find out what was wrong with me._

_We went up to their room and they forced me to talk. They told me that they wouldn't stand for me acting so weird. I told tem that it was only a few hours. They told me that that was too long. They demanded to know why I was avoiding them and Daniel. They asked if we broke up but I told them no. They sat me down and said I wasn't leaving until I told them what was going on._

_I was quiet for a long time and they just watched me. I started to cry. They were shocked. I rarely cry in front of them so it is always a shock for them. They sat down on either side of me and did their best to comfort me. I told them about what happened. They were silent. I told them how much I regretted it and wished I could go back in time and stop it from happening._

_Casanova asked if Daniel forced me into it but I told him no. I told him that he was right. I should have waited. He hugged me while I continued to cry. He said it was going to be ok and I believed him. Just hearing him say that made me feel better._

_Romeo said the same thing and I believed him too. They offered to beat Daniel up and that made me laugh. I appreciated their offer but said they didn't have to do that. They seemed disappointed but told me that I was going to be alright. They said they wouldn't let me near Daniel until I was over my little breakdown. I laughed again and thanked them for their support._

_Romeo left to go meet Margie. He confessed to me that they slept together last month for the first time and I had a feeling that my little outburst made him wonder if she reacted the same way. I think he wanted to make sure that she didn't regret it._

_Casanova didn't say anything after he left. I asked him if he was mad at me. He said no but he was disappointed. He said he wished I waited for him and I told him that I felt the same way. He smiled. I told him that I know I wouldn't have regretted it if he was the one. He kissed me and my heart stopped. He said he really wanted to be the one. He also said that he was going to make me wear a chastity belt from now on until I was ready to be with him. I laughed and thanked him for being such a great friend. He looked disappointed but said he was glad that we are friends because our friendship means so much to him._

_He asked me to stay with him and I did. We laid down on his bed and he held me when I started to cry again. He kept reassuring me that I would be ok. He said it would get better. He said that he meant it when he said that he wouldn't let Daniel near me until I said it was ok. I told him that he didn't have to do that. Casanova stared at me closely before kissing me again and said that as long as I wasn't ready to see Daniel then he would make sure that I wouldn't. I smiled and hugged him. I thanked him and we fell asleep together._

_We woke up and went to dinner together. It was awkward when I saw Daniel sitting with our friends. He waved me over. I didn't move. Casanova held my hand and Daniel looked hurt. I dragged Casanova over to Daniel and went to sit down but Casanova made sure he was between us. I had to hide my smile. He really meant what he said. He wouldn't let me near Daniel until he knew for a fact that I was ready. He really is my best friend._"

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Sirius had his hands placed on the table on either side of her thighs. Sam was sitting on the table and they were staring at each other. He smirked at her and she laughed. He wiggled his eyebrows and she bit her lip. He gasped. "That's cheating!" She looked at him in shock and shook her head. He nodded. "Yes, it is! Now, we have to start over!" She rolled her eyes. They started staring at each other but stopped when she kicked his leg accidentally. He winced. "Ow! You cheated again!" 

Sam rolled her eyes again. "_How did I cheat? I kicked you by accident!_" He rolled his eyes. "_How did I cheat the first time_?"

"You bit your lip!" She looked at him oddly. He winked at her. "Trying to turn me on is cheating."

She laughed. "_Tell me what doesn't turn you on and I'll do it so you won't think I'm cheating._"

Sirius smiled. "You always turn me on." She blushed. "Unless you morph into Lilac, you'll always be cheating in my book."

Sam laughed. "_Well, I guess, you are screwed then._"

"I'd love it if I was screwed by you."

"_You're such a git_."

He leaned in and kissed her. "I know but that's why you love me."

She bit her lip. "_You better stop doing that._"

"What if I don't want to?"

"_Then we have a problem. Alan will be yelling until his face turns red._"

Sirius nuzzled her cheek and neck with his nose. "I don't care if he yells at me. It would be worth it."

Sam smiled. "_I mentioned Alan because he would yell at me, not you._"

He shrugged. "Do you mind if he yells at you because of me?" She bit her lip. He smiled. "You don't mind at all, do you?"

She smiled. "_I didn't say that._"

He smirked. "But you didn't deny it."

She smiled again. "_We should get back to what we were doing._"

Sirius nodded. "You're absolutely right." He kissed her again. She gave him a look. He smiled and shrugged. "What? I needed some encouragement before we started again." She rolled her eyes. He licked his lips and smirked when he noticed that she was watching his mouth closely. "Ok, let's start again."

They went back to staring at each other. They did their best to hold in their laughter but they couldn't. Their bodies shook with held in laughter. "What are you two doing?"

He smiled but didn't look away. "We are having a staring contest."

Frank looked at them oddly. "Why are you doing that?"

"We were bored." Frank nodded slowly. "And, our marriage counselors said we have to spend time together to work out our problems. They didn't say what we had to do so this seemed like a good idea."

He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You two are perfect for each other." He muttered. "Who is winning?"

Sirius licked his lips and smirked. Sam was tempted to look at his mouth but refused to lose. "I would have won twice but she keeps cheating!" Sam gasped and slapped his arm. He winced and groaned. "Stop cheating!" She rolled her eyes. He laughed. "Don't be bitter!"

Frank gave them odd looks. "Well, I'll let you two get back to…whatever it is you were doing. Have fun!"

He smiled at her. "Are you ready to start again?" She shook her head. "Do you forfeit?" She smirked and shook her head. He leaned in and kissed her. He moved his head and nibbled on her ear. "So, what do you want to do then?" She swatted at him and he pulled away while laughing. "I'm sorry. Did you want something?" She gave him a look and nodded. He smirked. "I thought so." He went back to nibbling on her ear. He held in a laugh when he heard her sigh in content. Sam blinked to try to clear her mind from the fog it was in and swatted at him to stop again. He sighed. "Can I help you with anything? I'm in the middle of doing something."

She rolled her eyes again. "_Can we talk_?"

He looked at her closely before nodding. "Of course we can." She nodded. He gave her an anxious smile. "Is it anything bad? Am I in trouble again?" She smiled. He gulped. "Am I in trouble?" She laughed and shook her head. He sighed in relief. "That's good to know." He tickled her. "Don't scare me like that again!" Sam laughed and tried to push him away. Sirius brought her closer to him and kept tickling her. "You've got to stop scaring me like that, Sammy! It isn't nice!" She was gasping for air. He smiled at her before leaning in. "You look good when you laugh." She blushed. His smile grew. "You look just as good when you blush." Sam tried to hide her face when her blush grew but he wouldn't let her. "Come on, Sammy! Let me see that blush!" She shook her head and buried her face in his chest. He looked at the top of her head and smiled. He stroked her hair. Her head moved and her eyes settled on him. He kissed her forehead. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Sam smiled at him. "_I want to talk to you about virginity._"

Sirius looked at the note closely before busting with laughter. "Are you serious?" Her smile grew as she nodded. "I hope we aren't talking about mine!" She laughed and shook her head. "Ok, you may continue."

"_Can we talk about when I lost my virginity_?"

"Which time?" She blinked. He smiled. "The time you lost it to Moony or when you performed that charm and you lost it to me on our wedding night?" He kissed the back of her hand. "That was the best present I ever got." She bit her lip. "That was a great night." Her eyebrow rose. He gave her a sheepish smile. "I meant the beginning of the night. The part before our…fight." She nodded slowly. Sirius pulled a chair over and sat down in between her legs. "Which time were you talking about?"

She sighed. "_I was talking about the time with Remus._" He held in a groan and nodded slowly. "_Is it ok if we talk about it_?"

Sirius sighed. "It's fine. We can talk about it if you want." She nodded. "Why do you want to talk about that with me?"

Sam shrugged. "_I just have some questions to ask you about that time. Is that alright_?"

He nodded again. "It's alright. You can ask me anything."

She smiled. "_If I came to you before I slept with Remus and told you that I was thinking about having sex with him, what would you have said? What would have been your reaction_?"

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Well, I would have tried to been understanding and caring-" He laughed. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't go through with it." She laughed and nodded. "I would have yelled and would have wanted to kick Remus' ass." She smiled. "I would have said that you should wait. I also would have probably suggested that you do everything with me first before you did anything with him."

Sam's smile grew. "_What would you have done if I came to after I slept with him? If I came to when I was upset, would you have comforted me? What would you have done?_"

He sighed. "If you came to me afterwards…I would have been pissed and would have yelled. I would comfort you of course. There's no doubt about that but I would have tried to make you wear a chastity belt until you were ready to be with me." Her eyes widened in surprise. "And, I wouldn't let you near Moony until I knew for a fact that you were ok and ready to be around him again. That's what I would have done."

She nodded slowly. "_Thank you for answering honestly._"

Sirius shrugged. "It's not a problem." She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He blinked in surprise. "Now, I'm really glad I answered your questions honestly." Sam pulled away and smiled at him. She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. He smiled. "Now, I'm fucking ecstatic that I answered honestly."

Sam laughed. "_So am I, Sirius._"

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"Hi." He mumbled. "It's nice to meet you." 

She smiled. "Hello." A blush crept up on his face. "We've met before." He blinked at her. Her head cocked to the side. "Don't you remember?" He let out a nervous laugh. She gave him a weird look. "We met when you came home from Hogwarts. We met at King's Cross." He scratched the back of his head and shifted uncomfortably. She shrugged. "Well, I remember it. It's nice to see you again."

Remus let out another nervous laugh. "It's…uh…n-nice to see you again too, Sam."

James and Sirius looked at him oddly. "What the hell is wrong with him?" James muttered.

Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea."

Mr. Lupin laughed. "Remus, wipe your chin. You're drooling."

He blushed as he glared at his father. "Thanks a lot, Dad."

Evelyn smirked when she saw Sam looking confused as Remus' blush grew. "Come on, Sammy. We still have a few more things to buy for you."

Remus smiled at her when Sam turned and waved goodbye. The boys eyed him closely while their fathers talked. He looked at them in confusion. "Why are you two looking at me like that?"

James' eyes narrowed. "Why were you acting like a git around my sister?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "No, I wasn't."

Sirius' eyebrow rose. "Yes, you were." Remus shook his head. "Ok, then why did your dad tell you to wipe your chin when you were looking at my-?" He coughed. "When you were looking at Sammy?"

"He was just joking. He likes to embarrass me."

They nodded slowly and he sighed in relief when they dropped the subject. They stood around and talked to past the time as they waited for their parents to stop talking. They saw people pass by as they bought supplies for the new school year. Sam ran over to them and smiled. "I just got my wand!" She exclaimed.

James laughed. "That's great, Sammy. We've got wands too. Isn't that great?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a git, James." He shrugged. "I'm allowed to be excited!" Remus smiled at her. "This will be my first year at Hogwarts! I'm very excited!"

Sirius draped an arm around her shoulders and she blushed as Remus sighed. "You can be excited, Sammy." She bit her lip. He squeezed her to him. James held in a laugh. "Let's see your wand." Her hands shook as she took out her new wand. He held it in his hands and smiled. "This is a great wand, Sammy." She gulped. "It looks like a perfect fit for you." He whispered in her ear. Her blush grew. Sirius looked away and his eyes widened in delight. He nodded at James and Remus. They turned their heads and smiled. Sam looked at them in confusion. They watched the girl walk towards them. "Hey Celeste." Sirius said with a flirtatious smile. Sam glared at the girl as she walked over. He smirked when he saw this. He looked at the blonde and his smirk reappeared. "How was your summer?"

Celeste batted her eyelashes at them. "My summer was great. How was yours?" They didn't answer. They were too busy staring. Sam sneered at the girl who stuck out her newly developed chest the boys were staring at. She looked at Sam and her eyes widened when she saw Sirius' arm around her. "Is this your girlfriend, Sirius?"

He dropped his arm and took a step away. Sam's face fell. "No, she isn't my girlfriend." Celeste's smile grew. Sam held in a growl. "This is James' little sister."

Harold walked over and picked up Sam. "Come on, sweetheart. Mama wants to get your dress robes now."

Celeste smiled. "That's so cute."

Sam resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She watched as Sirius continued to stare at the girl's chest. "Daddy, put me down!" She grumbled as she struggled in his arms. "I can walk on my own!"

James smiled. "Sammy, go with Dad. We'll see you later."

Harold set her down. "What's wrong with my little angel? You used to love it when I picked you up."

She blushed when the others laughed. "Please, don't call me that, Daddy." He looked at her in confusion. Evelyn walked over and Sam pulled away from him. "Mama, can you make Daddy stop? He is embarrassing me."

He looked confused again. "What did I do?" Sam groaned. "How did I embarrass my little girl?"

Evelyn patted his arm. "Harold, stop it. I warned you that this would happen. Sammy is at that age now. Everything you do embarrasses her."

He groaned. "I forgot." He looked at Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam." She smiled and nodded. "I didn't know I embarrassed you." He looked at his wife. "I need a how-to book to tell me how to deal with my daughter after she gets her first period."

The boys howled with laughter. Evelyn closed her eyes and groaned. Sam's mouth hung open in horror. "Daddy, how could you tell everyone about that?"

Harold stared at her in surprise. "What did I do now?"

Evelyn grabbed him by the arm. "Let's go, Harold. You've done enough." He shook his head in confusion. "Sam, we have to get your school robes now." Sam walked over to her. "Boys, we'll see you later."

"Sammy, I'm sorry." Harold said.

Sam groaned. "Daddy, please, stop saying things." He grunted in response. "Mama, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "When will my breasts grow?" Harold choked. Evelyn laughed. Sirius' eyes widened when he heard that. He seemed to be the only one who did. "Will they grow soon?"

"Why do you care? You are still a little girl!" Harold grumbled.

Evelyn slapped his arm. "Be quiet, Harold." He glared at the ground. She smiled at her daughter. "They will come to you when you are ready." Sam groaned. "You have little ones now. Why are you in such a rush?"

She shrugged as she looked back at the group. "I was just wondering." Evelyn nodded slowly. "I wanted to know when because…I want to know when boys will stare at me like they stare at her." Harold groaned. "I wanted to know when Sirius will stare at me like that. I want him to stare at me like that."

Harold sneered. "He already does." He muttered.

Evelyn smiled. "Sirius will notice you one day with or without breasts, Sammy." Sam sighed. "Don't worry, sweetie. They will come to you in time."

Sirius watched her walk away in shock. He was sure that he was the only one that heard that conversation. He shook his head and laughed. "Holy shit!" He muttered before turning back to look at Celeste's chest. "Sammy's will be better." He whispered.

Andrew howled with laughter. "Did that really happen?"

He nodded. "Yes, it did." He laughed. "She wanted me to notice her so bad that she couldn't wait for her breasts to grow."

He shook his head. "That's hysterical!"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, it was. Sam didn't know how much I noticed her then. And, I wasn't going to tell her." He sighed. "Sam's are better than Celeste's."

Andrew wiped his eyes. "So, when did she get her wish?" Sirius gave him an odd look. He coughed. "When did her breasts grow in?"

He leaned forward and smiled. "When I went home that first Christmas, she was flat as a board." Andrew nodded. "After I went back home at the end of the year, she had small…very small bumps but I did notice. She started young. It was a week after her eleventh birthday when she got her…uh…you know for the first time."

"How do you know that?"

He shrugged. "Dad and James were in the backyard. I was in my room. Sam was in the bathroom and she screamed. Mum, who was in her room at the time, and I ran to the bathroom and banged on the door. We heard Sam crying and we were worried. We demanded her to open the door. Mum asked what happened. Sam opened the door and said she was bleeding. We asked how she cut herself but she didn't know. Mum asked when she noticed she was bleeding. Sam whispered in her ear so I didn't know what she said. Mum had this weird smile on her face and told me that she had to have a very important talk with her. They went back into the bathroom and Mum told her all about why she was bleeding." He laughed at the memory. "Sam was horrified. She didn't want to be a girl. She asked Mum to make her a boy. She asked her to stop that from happening." Andrew laughed. "They came out of the bathroom and I asked her if she was alright. She looked at Mum and then glared at me. Sam said that James and I weren't allowed to speak to her for five to seven days before running to her room." He smiled. "I was so confused. I didn't understand why she was so mad at me and I didn't understand why James and I weren't allowed to talk to her. I asked Mum and she laughed. She told me that Sam started to become a woman and she was far from happy about it. I still didn't understand why she was mad at me. Mum said that from now on, Sam will hate all men for a week or two each month. I was disappointed. She said I shouldn't worry because Sammy would still be crazy about me despite her hatred of men."

"That's a good explanation."

Sirius smiled. "Mum has a good way of explaining things." Andrew nodded. "Her…uh…grew little by little over the next two years but when she came back from Paris…wow!" Andrew laughed. "She really grew into her figure if you know what I mean." Andrew smiled and nodded. "I couldn't and still can't stop looking at them. I'm a breast man."

Andrew shook his head and laughed. "I got that."

He checked his watch. "My time is almost up." He nodded in response. "I have one question before I leave."

He smiled. "Before you ask me anything, I want to know how the two of you are getting along."

"We are getting along great actually." Andrew smiled. "We've been spending a lot of time together. We even took a couple of naps together."

"You've taken naps together?" Sirius nodded. Andrew looked at him with interest. "Has anything else happened between the two of you?"

He smirked. "She has these moments…she looks at me and its like she wants to tell me something, despite her inability to talk, but she can't. She is holding back." Andrew nodded slowly. "She has kissed and hugged me." Andrew smiled in surprise. "It's not like how she used to do it. Before, she would hold onto me and kiss me like she never wanted to stop but now, it's like…she is cautious about touching me. I understand why but it is still different. I know it's a big deal for her to do that. Lily and I are the only ones she lets touch her. She only has problems with me touching her on occasion." Andrew motioned for him to continue. "I just want her to be her old self again but I understand why she can't be." He sighed. "I like it. I like it when she surprises me with a kiss or a hug. It keeps me on my toes and Sammy always has a knack for doing that."

Andrew smiled again. "Alan will be pissed that she lets you kiss her and that she kisses you." Sirius shrugged. "Well, it's good that you two are getting along." Sirius nodded. "We have a little more time. What was that question you wanted to ask me?"

Sirius smirked. "I can ask you anything, can't I?" He nodded slowly. "You like Sam, don't you?" He nodded again. "You want her to be better, right?" He sighed and nodded. "She is pretty, smart, and funny with moments of craziness, isn't she?" Andrew laughed and nodded. "So, how long have you wanted to fuck my wife exactly?"

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Sirius was walking down the hall with the boys and they were laughing and joking around. He joined the laughter but stopped when he saw Sam walking alone with her nose in a book. It wasn't just any book. It was her grandmother's journal. He smiled. "I'll be right back." He said before running over to her. He tapped her on the shoulder and laughed when she jumped. Sam smiled at him. "Hey Sammy." She nodded. "How's your reading coming?" She shrugged. He put his arm around her shoulders. "What are you doing today, Sammy?" She shook her head and shrugged again. His smile grew. "Can I spend…can we spend some time together?" Her head cocked to the side. He shifted uncomfortably. "Can we, Sammy?" 

Sam scribbled down a note with the spare bit of parchment she kept in the back of the journal. She nodded towards the others who were standing and waiting for Sirius. "_Aren't you hanging out with them_?"

He shrugged. "That doesn't matter. They will understand."

She stared at him oddly. "_Are you sure_?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm sure." She continued to stare at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Sam shrugged. "_You just never chose to spend time with me over your friends before._" He looked at her in surprise. "_When we were dating, you would always ditch me for them._" He sighed and looked back at his friends. She sighed. "_It's ok, Sirius. You can go back to them. I'll see you later._"

He nodded. "I'll see you later, Sammy." He muttered. He walked back to his friends and sighed when he saw her start to walk away. He looked at them. "Hey."

James looked at him oddly. "What's up?"

Sirius shrugged. "Nothing much."

Remus smiled. "What happened with Sam?"

He sighed. "She…I asked her if we could-" His eyes widened and a wide smile appeared on his face. "I've got to go!"

They watched him run after her to catch up with her. "Sirius, where are you going?" James yelled after him.

Sirius grabbed her arm. Sam turned around and stared at him in surprise. "Hi Sammy."

Sam's eyes were wide as saucers. "_Sirius, what are you doing_?"

He leaned in and smiled. "I'm doing something I should have done when we were dating." Her eyebrows furrowed together. His smile grew. "We are married and things are different now."

"Sirius, are you coming or what?" Remus yelled.

She sighed. "_It's ok. Just go. You don't have to prove anything to me._"

He let out a tiny groan when she walked away. He took a deep breath and ran to catch up with her again. He grabbed her arm and turned her around. He kissed her. "I do having something to prove to you."

"Are you coming?" They yelled.

Sirius smirked. "No, I'm not!"

Sam smiled in surprise. "_Are you sure_?"

He held her face in his hands and kissed her. "I love you, Samantha." She bit her lip. "I should have made time for you. I should have done…a lot of things differently but I can't go back and change it." She nodded slowly. "I'm going to do things the way I should have starting…the moment you left me."

She shook her head. "_You shouldn't change yourself for anyone except you._"

Sirius put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm not changing anything. I'm just starting to act more like the real me with you."

Sam smiled. He kissed her again. "_Are you sure you don't want to hang out with the guys? I don't mind._"

He kissed her deeply. Her eyes widened. He smiled. "All I want is you."


	75. Chapter 74: Realize

Author's Note: I'm sorry for the delay. Things came up. I hope you like this chapter. 

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Chapter 74: Realize. 

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Sam's knee was shaking under the table as she chewed on her cuticles. The fingers on her other hand tapped on the wood. She looked at the clock and let out a soft groan. Time was going by too slowly for her liking. She jumped up and ran to the door when the class was dismissed. She ran down the hall like a bat out of hell. She smiled when she ran up to Sirius. He smirked at her. "Why are you running like a crazy person? Was class that boring?" He asked.

She nodded at the boys before grabbing his wrist. "_Come on_!" She mouthed.

Sirius stumbled a couple of times as he ran to keep up with her. He was huffing and puffing behind her. He had no idea what was going on but he liked that she wanted him to tag along for whatever ride they were about to go on. He followed her through the portrait hole and up the stairs to his room. He smiled when she sat him down on the bed and fought to catch her breath. "I don't mind you grabbing and dragging me so we can be alone in my room but do you mind telling me why you did that?" Sam's face was glowing as she looked at him. His heart raced at the sight. She started talking, or he hoped it was just talking and not yelling, but he couldn't understand her at all. Her vow of silence was beginning to get on his nerves because he never understood what she tried to tell him and she was forced to write it down. He sighed. "Baby, did you forget again?" She stopped talking and looked at him oddly. He gave her a patient smile. "You can't talk, remember?" She groaned and slapped her forehead. He laughed at her. "Can you write it down so I can understand what you are saying?"

Sam nodded eagerly. His smile grew when he saw her write as quickly as possible. She smiled when she handed him the note. "_I was reading the journal in class and another letter from my grandma fell out! I had to tell you about it because it involves you too_!"

His eyes widened in surprise. "It involved me?" She nodded. "What do you mean?"

She smiled as she handed him the letter. "_You should read it._"

He nodded slowly and began to read. His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "_A dream meld is when two soul mates agree to meditate and open themselves up to each other. When they do this, they are able to share and take part in one another's dreams. Soul mates share an unexplained bond or connection and this will bring them closer. The only side effect is when they wake up, whoever's dream it was, the other person will not remember it unless the person who started the dream wishes them to remember. This is only able to work for dream seers and their soul mates. This task is designed to help bring clarity to a dream seer's troubled mind._" He blinked before looking at her. "Is this for real?" She nodded. He glanced at the letter again. "Do you believe I'm your soul mate, Sam?" She rolled her eyes and laughed as she pointed to her wedding ring. He gave her a sad smile. "That means we have true love. It doesn't mean we are soul mates, Sammy." Her face fell. He stared at her closely. "I'm going to ask you the question again and I want you to be honest with me." She nodded slowly. "Do you believe in your heart that you and I are soul mates? Are you sure it isn't Remus or Michael?" She sighed as she sat down next to him. He looked at the ground. "Do you really believe that I'm your soul mate, Sammy?"

Sam made him look at her. He looked at her closely. She placed his hand over her heart and put her hand over his. He smiled slowly. "_Yes, I do._" She mouthed with a smile.

Sirius was beaming. He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. "I love you, Sammy!" She smiled at him. He kissed her again and she fell back against the pillows. Her eyes widened as her leg kicked out in shock. Sirius pulled away and blushed. "I'm sorry about that." She nodded slowly. "I know you're my soul mate." She blushed. He caressed her cheek. "Do you really want to do this dream meld thing with me?" She smiled and nodded before pointing at him. He nodded. "I would love to do this with you. I already dream about you. It would be nice to share that with you." She blushed. He kissed her. She kissed him back but her eyes widened before pulling away and blushing as she looked away and stared at the ground. He blinked in surprise before smiling. He made her look at him. "Don't be embarrassed, Sammy. It's ok that you kissed me back." Her blush grew. "I love you, Samantha." She looked at him and bit her lip. She placed her hand over his heart and her other hand placed his hand over hers. A wide smile appeared on his face. "I know you can't say it but I know you feel the same way." She smiled. "I'll love you no matter what, Sammy. I just want you to be who you are. I love you and your mature self. I always will." She laughed. He stopped them from falling back on the mattress when she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Sirius closed his eyes and took in her scent. He started to rub her back. "Thank you." He whispered in her ear. She pulled back slightly and gave him an odd look. He caressed her cheek. "Thank you for letting me hug you." She smiled again. He kissed her again. "It means a lot to me that you let it happen." She hugged him again. "I've missed this." She nodded. He smiled. "You miss this too?" She nodded again. They tightened their hold on each other. Sam pulled away. Sirius held her hands. "When should we do this?"

She wrote him a quick note. "_How soon can we do it_?"

He kissed her and smiled. "How does tonight sound?" She smiled and nodded. He caressed her cheek. "Then we'll do it tonight." Her smile grew. He smiled again when she went back to hugging him. "I can't wait." He whispered.

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Sirius hugged her from behind when they stood at the ledge of the astronomy tower. Sam placed her hands on top of his and smiled when he held her close. "Are you sure about this, Baby?" She nodded. He nodded. "So am I."

Sam turned around and hugged him before pulling away. He watched her as she read the instructions in the letter and bit her lip. He walked over to her and held the candles she handed him. She showed him the letter and he nodded before placing them on the ground in a circle. "_Are you ready_?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am. Are you ready?" She nodded. They stood facing each other in the middle of the circle. They sat down Indian style and smiled at each other. They held hands and closed their eyes. "This is it." He muttered. They recited the words they were supposed to in their minds. The winds started to pick up and they tightened their holds on each other's hands. Sirius tried to open his eyes but it was like they were glued shut. He continued to say the words he was supposed to in his mind and waited for the sign when they were done. Their bodies started to feel light. They began to rise and hovered above the ground. Their knees brushed against each other. Warmth surrounded them as a yellow light wrapped around them. They opened their eyes when the winds died down and they were back on the ground. Sam gasped when she realized she was sitting on Sirius' lap with her arms around his neck. Sirius tightened his hold on her when she tried to get up. "It's ok, Sammy." He whispered. She stopped moving and looked at him closely. He caressed her cheek before resting his forehead against hers. "It's ok."

She touched his cheek and he smiled when he looked at her. "_How did I get here_?"

Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea." He kissed her. "But I'm glad you're here."

Sam smiled. "_Are you_?"

He kissed the side of her neck. "Yes, I am. You know that I am." She sighed in content. "I love you." She looked at him. "You love me." She pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear. "I'm glad we did this." She smiled. "Are you glad we did this?" She nodded. He kissed her. "Did we really float?" Sam laughed as she nodded. Sirius laughed. "I thought so." He started to rub her back and smiled when she tightened her arms around his neck. "Sammy, can I ask you something?"

She nodded. "_Yes, you can._"

Sirius licked his lips. "Will we…will it always be like this?" She looked at him oddly. "Will we always be this close?"

Sam bit her lip. "_I hope so._"

"Will you always love me?" She laughed. He tickled her. "You have to answer." She shook her head and laughed. He kept on tickling her. They toppled over and he was on top of her. She looked at him with wide eyes. He stared at her closely as his thumbs glided across the side of her neck. "Are you scared?" She shook her head. He smiled. "You aren't scared that I'm this close to you?" Sam smiled and shook her head again. His smile grew. "Why aren't you scared?" She shrugged. "Do you think that this dream meld helped you be comfortable with me?" She nodded slowly. He kissed her again. "I'm happy to hear it." He placed a hand over her heart. "I belong with you." She smiled. "Will I always be here?" Sam nodded again. Sirius kissed the palm of her hand before placing it over his heart. "You belong with me." She blushed. "We belong to each other. We belong together." Her head titled to the side as she smiled and looked at him closely. "You're my soul mate, Sammy. You're my soul mate and I'm yours." She pinched his cheek. He laughed. "Does that sound good to you?"

"_Yes, it does._"

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"_So, I told Casanova about Daniel proposing to me. I told him that I accepted. He was upset to say the least. He said I was too young and wasn't ready. He has a point. I am too young for marriage now but I do love Daniel. He is leaving school in a few months and I will be starting my sixth year but that doesn't matter. We are going to wait until I finish school. We want to be together. He makes me happy. Why shouldn't I want to marry him?_

_Casanova said that I shouldn't get tied down so young. I shouldn't just settle for the first guy that comes along but I swore that I wasn't. I love Daniel and he loves me. I told him that I don't want us to stop being friends because I was engaged. He sighed and said he didn't want that either. I hugged him and said that no matter what happens, we will always be best friends. He smiled and said that that's all he wanted. He wants us to be together, as friends, forever._

_He told me that he would accept my proposal even though he knew it wouldn't last. I laughed and called him an ass. He hugged me again and laughed. He agreed that he was an ass but he is an ass that cares about me and wants me to be happy. I told him I was happy. He asked if it was because I was engaged or if it had to do with him hugging me. I never can lie to him so I said that it was both those reasons. He smiled in response._"

Sam smiled as she snuggled into the covers. She let out a tiny yawn and stretched out on the bed. She sat up and bit her lip. Sirius smiled at her. It was Saturday afternoon and they agreed that it would be beneficial to spend time together. Sam told him that she wanted to read the journal and he suggested that they read the journal in his room. They had been reading for hours and they weren't close to being done. Every time she suggested they stop, he would insist on reading one more entry. He didn't want their time together to stop. He put his arm around her shoulders. "Are you tired, Baby?" She stifled a yawn and nodded as she rested her head on his shoulder. He squeezed her to him. "Do you want to take a nap…with me?" She laughed. He blushed. "I was just asking."

She smiled before kissing his cheek. "_I'd love to._"

Sirius smiled. "Sammy…have we shared any dreams?" She shook her head. "Do you know when we will?" She shrugged. He sighed. "Maybe it will happen soon." She nodded. They got comfortable on the bed and shut their eyes. He smiled when she rested her head on his chest just like she used to do. They were soon sound asleep. It was an hour before Sam opened her eyes. She rested on her elbows and smiled when she watched him sleep. She pushed the hair off of his face and smiled again. Her eyes closed as she leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. Sirius grabbed her and she gasped. He opened one of his eyes and smirked. "You could never resist kissing me awake." She struggled to sit up. He stopped her. "It's ok, Sammy. I don't mind." She blushed. Sirius kissed her. "Do you remember that morning in your room and you woke me up by kissing me?" Her blush grew as she nodded. He rolled over on top of her. "That was a great way to wake up." She smiled. He kissed her neck. She bit her lip. Sirius started to nibble on her ear. "I want you so much, Sammy." Her breath started to quicken. He kissed her again. "I've missed being this close to you." Tears formed in her eyes. He stopped moving. "Are you ok?" She gave him a pained look. He moved away from her. "Did I make you uncomfortable?" She nodded. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to."

Sam touched his arm. "_It's ok, Sirius. I know you didn't._"

He held her hand in his. "I thought…I thought you were over being scared of me."

She sighed. "_Sirius, I'm not scared of you. I've never been scared of you._"

"Then why do you react that way when I touch you?"

"_It's not just you. It's everyone. You and Lily are the only ones that I don't have too much trouble with. Yes, I'm still having some trouble with the two of you touching me but it's not as bad when other people touch me. That has to mean something to you, right_?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, it does." She smiled. "I just wish that you could be with me again." She sighed. "Is there anyway I could help you with this?"

Sam shook her head. "_I don't think so. I think it's up to me and I'm not sure how to fix it or if I'm ready to fix it yet._"

He nodded slowly. "I understand." She looked at him closely. He smiled. "I do understand, Sammy. What happened this year…it's understandable why you are having trouble." She smiled. He kissed her cheek. "I just want you to be ok again." She bit her lip. "I just want my wife back." She sighed. He let out a tiny laugh. "Ok, let's read some more entries. How does that sound?" She smiled and nodded. He gave her a brief kiss. "That's what I like to see." Sam gave him a weird look. He kissed her again. "I love to see you smile." She blushed as she smiled. Sirius laughed. "I'd do anything to make you smile." Her eyebrow rose in question. He whispered in her ear. Her blush grew and she slapped his arm. Sirius laughed. "I see that you do remember." Sam shook with laughter. He squeezed her to him and kissed the top of her head. "Let's start reading, ok?" She nodded. "Ok, pass me the book." He kissed her before they started reading again. Sirius smiled when she snuggled closer to him. He rubbed her back as they continued to read. He smirked when he saw the next entry they were going to read. "This one looks interesting." She smiled and kissed his cheek. He winked at her. "Stop distracting me, Samantha! I'm trying to read!" She laughed and slapped his arm. "Ok, I'll stop too."

"_So, it happened. I can't believe it happened. I'm still in some sort of shock because I didn't expect it to happen. I keep thinking about it and it still doesn't make any sense at all. Maybe I'm over analyzing things again. We discussed this and we agreed to continue being friends only. Maybe I should explain instead of talking in circles._

_As you know, I hadn't heard from Daniel in three weeks and I really needed to know if he would be able to come and visit me for the first Hogsmede weekend of term. Well, last night, I finally got a response from him. It wasn't the response I expected. He told me that he realized that a long distance relationship just couldn't work between us. He broke up with me but said I could keep the ring. Wasn't that so nice of him to say that? He tells me that I'm the only one he will ever want, I lose my virginity to him, I waste so much time by being with him, he proposes and then breaks up with me but I get to keep the fucking ring! Yes, that's exactly what I want! I want the reminder of my failed engagement! He always was a git!_

_I ran to Casanova and he brought me to his room so we could talk. He made me explain to him what happened and why I was so upset. He sighed and hugged me when I cried. Casanova said I was better off. He told me I didn't need a ponce like that around. He took out his secret stash of fire whiskey and said we had to celebrate this good news. I had no idea what he meant. Casanova smiled and said this was good news. I was finally free of that git and I could move on. I would find someone better. I smiled and we began to drink. We ended up lying down on his bed. We were drunk. We were really drunk._

_Casanova started to caress my cheek and tell me how great he thought I was. I smiled and told him how great he was. He kissed me and moved his hands down my body. I was surprised by this but I was too drunk to care. I let him unbutton my shirt. He said he wanted to be with me for a long time but didn't know how to tell me. I kissed him. I surprised him by rolling over and straddling him. I told him that he could have me now if he wanted and he smiled in that way I love and said he did want me. He wanted me more than I ever knew. Before I knew what happened, we were naked and he asked me if we could sleep together. I said yes and that's when we started to…I don't remember much after that point. I knew we had sex a couple of times, or at least I think we did, but I know for sure it was the best I ever had._

_We woke up this morning and we were surprised that the curtains surrounding his bed were closed. We didn't remember closing them but we were glad they were closed. We looked around before getting dressed. His roommates were still asleep._

_It was weird how awkward it wasn't. I just had the best sex I've ever had with my best friend. I just had sex with the one person I always wanted and it wasn't awkward at all. He kissed me and said that he had fun. I said I had fun too. He asked me how I felt. I told him it was the best sex I ever had. Casanova laughed and said he thought it was great too. He told me he always thought we would be great together. I smiled in surprise. He laughed again and asked me why I looked so surprised and I told him that I never knew he thought about it. He said he always thought about it. Casanova started kissing me again and we had sex again. This time we remembered to put up the silencing charm._

_We finished before his roommates woke up and I left to get ready for breakfast. I was, and still am, in shock. I just had sex with the love of my life! I never felt happier. I walked down to breakfast and sat with my friends like usual. He sat down next to me and things were normal. We joked around and dreaded going to class. We sat together in class and just acted like we always did._

_After dinner, we went to his room. We sat down and we had the talk. He explained that we are great friends and last night was amazing. He would love to do it again but he didn't want to ruin our friendship. I knew where this conversation was going and I didn't need to hear it. I told him to stop. I said that yes, we had sex and it was great but that didn't make me believe we were together. He was surprised to hear this but was glad that I didn't think anything more would happen._

_I gave him a hug and said that we were just friends and that's all. He doesn't have to worry about me. Casanova kissed me. He said he always worries about me. He started kissing my neck but I stopped him. He said just because we were only friends didn't mean we couldn't keep having sex. I laughed and told him I wasn't going to be his play thing. He kissed me again and asked if we could do it again. I thought about it. I know it was wrong but I agreed to it._

_When we were done, I left to go to bed. We agreed that it was the last time but he seemed to think we would do it again. It's nice to know that the tables have turned a little. He wants me and I just want to be his friend…at least for now._"

Sirius laughed. "Now, _that_ was a good entry!" Sam laughed. He smiled when he looked at her. "Did you enjoy it too?" She smiled and nodded. "Your grandmother…she was interesting." She nodded slowly. He kissed her forehead. "Would you like to read another one?"

Sam smiled. "_Yes, I would._"

"_Casanova has been acting weird lately. It's been months since Daniel and I broke up and it's been months since Casanova and I slept together. He keeps trying to get me to sleep with him again but I just laugh him off._

_Back to the point! I've gone on a couple of dates and every time I agree to a date, Casanova gets all weird. He asks me why I would want to waste my time with those idiots. I tell him that I want to date around after being with just Daniel for so long. He says that I was also with him. I told him that that was just a two day thing and we agreed it wouldn't happen again. He got mad when I said that. He said he never agreed to that._

_I tell him that he has to stop acting so weird. We had sex. We had sex and we are still friends. Why does he have to act so weird? Casanova told me that he isn't acting weird. He is just looking out for me. I don't know about that. He is acting really weird._"

"He wants her." Sirius said. Sam looked at him closely. He smiled. "It's obvious that Casanova wants her." She rolled her eyes. He nudged her. "You know it's true." She shook her head. "He loves her. He got a taste of how things would be with her and he got hooked." She looked at him in disbelief. He laughed. "Believe me; I know what I'm talking about." She smiled. "Let's read some more."

"_Casanova is still acting weird. I went on a date with David Jacobs the other night. It wasn't really a date. We just took a walk around the school after dinner. It was nice and he was sweet. Anyway, David stopped to tie his shoe when Casanova grabbed me and pulled me into the broom closet. He started kissing me and putting his hand up his skirt. I pushed him off of me, even though I was thoroughly enjoying it, and slapped him upside his head._

_Casanova glared at me and asked what my problem was. I said that he had no right to molest me in the broom closet. I told him that I was on a date and he had no right to kidnap me. I asked him why he felt the need to bring me in there. He said that he was rescuing me from being around that boring git. I told him that I didn't need to be rescued. I was having a good time. He smirked at me and said I couldn't possibly be having a good time with him._

_I told him I was having a good time and I don't appreciate him trying to ruin it. He tried to kiss me again but I slapped the back of his head again. I told him that I was going back to David and I didn't want to talk to him again until he got his head out of his ass! I left and went back to my date. I just back to the common room and have yet to talk to Casanova…oh crap! Here he comes. I'll write more after I talk to him._"

Sirius smiled. "I know what's going to happen." He said in a sing song voice. Sam looked at him in surprise. He laughed. "Don't you know?" She shook her head. He kissed her. "Casanova is going to tell her he loves her." Sam bit her lip. "He loves her." She nodded slowly. "I love you." Sam blushed. He smiled. "Can you give me a hug?" She laughed and nodded. They hugged tightly and he kissed her. "Let's see what happens next so I can prove how right I am." She laughed and nodded. They snuggled closer to each other and Sirius kissed the top of her head. She smiled at him. "Thank you for spending the day with me. I'm enjoying it." She kissed his cheek. He licked his lips. "That felt nice." She rolled her eyes. He laughed. "You want me so bad." She laughed and slapped his side. He laughed again. "Alright, we'll keep reading."

"_He is the biggest ass I've ever met! I can't believe him! I honestly can't believe him! How could he do this? How could he say that? I just…I'm in shock! If I could, I would hit him all the way to China and back!_"

They looked at each other in confusion. "What the hell?" Sirius muttered. Sam shook her head and shrugged. "I guess we better keep reading."

"_Ok, let me start from the beginning. As you know, I was writing in here when he came over. We went up to his room to talk. He did apologize for grabbing me like he did but he insisted that it was for a good reason. He sat me down and said he had something important to tell me. He realized it after we slept together. I smiled at him when he started acting nervous. I hugged him to calm him down and said no matter what he had to tell me, it was going to be ok. He knows he can tell me anything. We sat down on his bed and I made him talk. Casanova looked so nervous. He said he realized, after we slept together, that it was truly the best time he ever had with someone. I blushed. He kissed me and said that he realized that he loved me. I said I loved him too and told him that he was my best friend. He sighed and said I was his best friend too but that's not what he meant. I had no idea what he meant. Casanova held my hands and smiled. He told me that he was in love with me. He always had feelings for me but it took us sleeping together to make him realize it. He kissed me again. He asked what I was thinking._

_I was silent for a while. He kept fidgeting. I looked at him and asked if he was telling the truth. He said he was. I slapped him. I told him I couldn't believe how he could say that to me. After years of me loving him and he kept rejecting me, he says he loves me. Casanova looked at me in shock and said he really does love me. I was all he thought about. I called him a liar. He just wanted me because he slept with me. It was lust, not love. He kept insisting that he did love me. I slapped him again. I called him an ass. I loved him for so long and I got over it. He would get over his so-called love for me soon enough. He called after me but I couldn't deal with him. He keeps playing with my emotions like that and I'm tired of it! I don't want to talk to him again!_"

Sirius let out a low whistle. Sam tightened her hold on him. "I can't believe it. He must have been…that must have hurt." She nodded slowly. He rubbed her back. "She was just in shock, Baby. Don't worry about it." Sam looked at him with a mix of surprise and confusion. He smiled at her. "I know what you are thinking. I know you too well." She smiled. "You wouldn't be here if things didn't work out." She laughed. He kissed her. "It's ok." She kissed him quickly. His eyes widened in surprise. "Thank you for that." She nodded again. "Can you do it again?" She laughed and kissed him again. He smiled. "Can you…have sex with me?" Sam laughed again and pinched his arm. Sirius laughed. "Ok, I'll stop. Let's keep reading."

"_I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!_" They groaned. "_I talked to Margie after I left Casanova's room. I told her all about what happened and how mad I was at him. She told me that he did love me. I didn't believe her. Margie laughed and said she was telling the truth. He told her all about what he was feeling. He didn't tell me because he was scared. He never loved anyone before me._" Sirius tightened his hold on Sam. She snuggled into him. "_We talked for a while. I wasn't completely convinced. I told her I would think things over. Casanova and I avoided each other as much as we could. He wouldn't look at me. He did tell me that I looked beautiful today. He has only said that to me twice before._

_I found Margie after classes and made her tell me again if Casanova really loved me. She enjoyed laughing at me. She's such a git. Margie told me that he loves me and that I need to realize it before it was too late. I told her I would think about things and before I left her, I realized that I want him. Margie slapped my arm and called me an ass. She said that if I want him then I should go get him. Margie can be an ass but she was right. I did want to be with him. All I've ever wanted was to be with him. I just can't seem to get over him. I don't want to get over him. I said goodbye to Margie and went to find him. _

_I looked around everywhere for him. Finally, I found him coming out of the broom closet. Yes, it was the same broom closet where he kissed me. Casanova was surprised to see me. He asked me what I was doing there. I asked him the same thing. He was acting jumpy and said he left something in there last night. He asked me why I was there again. I smiled at him and said I had to apologize to him. I told him that I overreacted and I was sorry. He said it was ok. I told him that it wasn't. He told me what he was feeling and I shut him down. That wasn't right. Casanova kept trying to interrupt me but I was an idiot and wouldn't let him say anything. I was about to tell him that I loved him too but then, I got a huge shock._

_Arabelle Montgomery walked out of the broom closet and fixed her skirt. She gave Casanova a kiss and thanked him for a fun time. She walked away. I couldn't believe my eyes. He tried to explain but I slapped him. I couldn't believe I was going to tell him that I loved him too. I couldn't believe I fell for his crap again. He told me that he thought I didn't want him. I said I always wanted him but I was shocked when he told me that he loved me. He asked me if we could be together but I said no. I told him that whatever happened between us didn't matter. It was a stupid mistake. It didn't mean anything. I walked away after telling him that I didn't want to see him anymore._"

Sam's chin trembled. Sirius hugged her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him. He sighed as he rubbed her back. "It's ok, Baby. It's ok." She shook her head against his neck. He pulled away and smiled at her. "It will be ok. He made a mistake but things did work out for them. If they didn't then you and James wouldn't be here. It's ok." She bit her lip when he wiped her eyes. Sirius kissed the corner of her mouth. She sat up and rested on her knees. Sam touched his cheek. He stroked her hair. "What is it? What do you want to say?" She took a deep breath before kissing his lips softly. He froze in surprise before kissing her back. She stiffened when he tried to move his hands up her shirt. He pulled away. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She nodded and smiled. He glided his thumb across her bottom lip. "I love you." Sam pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. Sirius pulled her closer to him. She curled up against him and put her legs across his lap. He placed his hand on her thighs and put his arm around her back. "We should continue reading so we can find out how they got together." She nodded against his chest. "Don't worry, Baby. They wind up together like we will." Sam turned her head to look up at him. He kissed her. "We will end up together in the end." He tightened his hold on her. "We have to see how Casanova got her back so I know how to get you back." She smiled. He smiled in return. "Everything will be alright."

"_He loves to torture me! How can one person be so cruel? He is a cruel and insensitive bastard! He enjoys hurting me! It's his favorite hobby! Why do I keep falling for his crap? Why do I continuously torture myself? I bet it was all a lie! He never fell in love with me! He just wants more sex out of me! That's all he wants!_

_I was walking down the hall in between classes. I stopped when I heard that slut Arabelle giggling like an idiot. I turned around and saw her and Casanova snogging! He pulled away from her when he saw me. He called after me but I just walked away. Casanova made his choice and once again, it wasn't me._

_All I used to dream about was the day we would be together. All I've ever wanted was to be his only one and for an incredibly short time, I was but it was all just a lie. It was just a game to him. My emotions are just another play thing to him and I'm sick of being hurt by him. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be in love with someone who can never love._"

Sirius looked at Sam. She turned her head to stare at him. He sighed. "Did…is that the way you felt after I broke up with you?" She nodded slowly. He sighed again. "I never meant what I said to you that night. I love you, Sammy. Do you believe me?" Sam smiled in response. "Is it alright if I take that as a yes?" She laughed and nodded. He turned to his side and smiled when her leg rested on his side. "I love you more than you will ever know. I'd do anything for you." Sam kissed his forehead. "Sammy, will you stay with me?" She gave him an odd look. Sirius gave her a small smile. "Will you always stay with me?" She sighed before smiling. He kissed her slowly. "Sammy, am I still in your heart?" Sam nodded slowly. Sirius smiled. "You've always been in mine." Sam closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against his. He caressed her cheek. "I need you in my life, Sammy." Her eyes opened and she stared at him closely. "I love you, Samantha. I love you so much." She inched her mouth closer to his. Sirius licked his lips in anticipation. Sam took a deep breath before leaning in and kissing him. His tongue traced her lips before trying to seek entrance into her mouth. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you." Sam moved closer to him. Sirius eased his tongue into her mouth. She pulled away. He let out a tiny laugh. "Was this how it was when you and Moony started going out? Because I'm starting to feel glad that he had to go through that with you instead of me." She laughed and slapped his arm. He laughed. "I was only kidding, Baby! I would have loved to deal with that for you even though it would have killed me!" She rolled her eyes. Sirius smiled. "I want you to know something." Sam looked at him with interest. "I don't care how long it takes. If I have to, I'll wait forever to be with you." She smiled slowly. "Can I ask you to promise me something?" Sam shrugged. Sirius smiled. "Will you promise…when you are able to…can I be the one you are with for the first time?" Her smile grew and she bopped him on the nose. He laughed lightly. "I see. That was a very good answer. I just wish I knew what it meant." She winked. He smiled. "I really wish I knew how to get you to come back to me."

"_I'm excited to be going home. I need some time away from school. It's been a hectic year. Casanova and I haven't spoken really. We only talk if we are forced to partner up in class but I don't have to deal with that anymore. I…Casanova just walked into the compartment that I'm sharing with Margie and Romeo._"

"_I can't believe it. Casanova just told me that he still loves me. He said that he was sorry for hurting me by sleeping with Arabelle. Casanova thought he lost me for good and just tried to forget that he put himself out there and got rejected. I told him that I was surprised when he told me he loved me. I never expected him to say that. He understood now why I acted the way I did. Year after year, he rejected me and then out of the blue, he tells me he loves me. Casanova said he deserved to be slapped. He said I deserve to be loved by someone better than him. I deserved someone who didn't have his track record but he still loves me. He would always love me. All he wanted was a chance. Casanova asked me to reconsider being with him. He asked me to try and trust him again. He told me to take the summer to think things over. He told me to try and find it in my heart to forget the past and be with him. Casanova promised me that he wouldn't hurt me again. He promised he wouldn't cheat on me and he would do everything in his power to make sure I was happy for the rest of my life. Casanova told me that he wanted to spend his life with me then he walked out of the compartment. I didn't see him when I left with my parents to go home. I will definitely think about what he said._"

Sirius smiled. "That was great!" Sam tapped the book. His smile grew. "Do you want to read more?" She nodded eagerly. He kissed her. "Ok, we will read more, Baby."

"_I'm going to Diagon Alley today. Romeo and Margie are meeting me there. I just know I will see Casanova. I've spent the entire summer thinking about what he said to me on the train. It's all I could think about._

_He has hurt me a lot over the years. I know this but I love him. I have always loved him and I will never stop. I've missed him so much. I may have been mad at him but I don't want to be without him. He is all I've ever wanted. I am ready to be with him. I'm going to forget all the crap in the past and follow my heart. I won't be scared anymore._"

Sam smiled. Sirius kissed her. She stroked his chest gently. He smiled in surprise. "Would it be wrong if I started to purr?" She laughed and rolled her eyes. She ran her fingers through his goatee before kissing him. He leaned into her. "That felt nice." She smiled slowly. Sirius stroked her cheek. "Kiss me again, Sammy." They leaned in closer. "I want you to kiss me again." Sam licked her lips and kissed him. He moved his head and attempted to deepen the kiss but she pulled away. He sighed. "The only problem is that…you keep pulling away when things start getting good." She blushed and looked away from him. Sirius made her look at him and smiled. "I know why you pull away and I understand. One day, we will be able to be together like that and it will be special." She moved in closer to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. They shared a smile before he kissed her. His lips moved to her neck. She bit her lip. Sam pulled away slowly after he kissed her collarbone. Sirius sighed. "This celibacy thing is going to be harder than I thought." She opened her mouth but he stopped her. "You can't talk." She blushed. "But I know what you are going to say." Sam's eyebrow rose. "You are going to say that I don't have to be celibate. I am free to be with whomever I want. Am I right?" She nodded slowly. He kissed her. "The only person I want is you, Sammy. I don't know how many times I have to say it before you finally believe me but…I am willing to say it every day until it sinks in." Sam tightened her hold on him. Sirius smiled. "Did you like hearing the truth?" She nodded and smiled. He laughed and kissed her again. "I liked telling you the truth." She kissed him. "Baby, I want you so much and I can't wait for the day when we can be together again." She smiled. He smiled in return. "We are wasting daylight. Let's keep going."

"_Today is my first day back at school and as a seventh year. I can't believe this is going to be my last year at school. This time next year, I'll be an adult. That is a very odd thought to me._

_I have more important things to discuss right now. I was on the train coming back here and I ran into Casanova. He wasn't at Diagon Alley when I went with Romeo and Margie. We didn't look at each other for the longest time. It was awkward. With how we left things and people all around, it was awkward as hell. The halls finally cleared and he was the first one to speak. He told me he missed me. I said I missed him too. He asked if I thought about what he said and I told him I did._

_I told him that we've known each other for years and I've loved him for so long but all he ever did was hurt me. He apologized for all of that. He told me that all he ever wanted was to protect me and he knew that if we got together too soon then he would hurt me so bad that I would never forgive him. Casanova said he was ready to be with me. He said he loved me and just wanted a chance. He came closer to me and asked if I would give him a shot. I asked him if he was sure about his feelings. He smiled in a way that I've never seen before and said he was sure._

_Casanova put his arms around me and told me again that he loved me. He said that he missed me a lot since we stopped talking. He kissed me and I blushed. I'm such a git when it comes to him. We were standing so close and my heart started to pound in my ears. He told me he loved me again. I told him I loved him too. Casanova asked me if I would give him a chance. I said I would. I never saw him look so happy before. He picked me up and spun me around as I laughed. He kissed me and kept on kissing me until I told him I couldn't breathe. He apologized and said he was just excited. We went back to my compartment and we spent the rest of the train ride snogging. I've never felt happier_!"

Sirius tickled her. Sam started laughing. He was on top of her and she squirmed as he continued to tickle her. "I told you they would work it out, Baby! I told you!" Sam swatted at his hands as she laughed. Sirius smiled as he rested on top of her. "Are you happy that they got together?" She pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear and nodded. He kissed her. "Are you happy right now?" Her head cocked to the side. "Do you feel happy…right now…in this moment…with me?" Sam smiled and nodded again. Sirius kissed the side of her neck. "I'm happy being with you like this." She bit her lip. He rested his head on her chest and smiled. "Your heart is racing." She blushed. "Am I the reason why your heart is racing?" She shrugged. He tickled her sides. "You're such an ass." Sam smiled before reaching for him. They held onto each other tightly. Sirius smiled when she kissed him. "I love it when you kiss me." She kissed him again. "Could we…kiss for a little while?" Her eyebrow rose. He blushed. "I was just wondering…can we?" She gulped. "We don't have to if you are uncomfortable." She smiled. "Can I kiss you?" Sam took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Sirius leaned in and kissed her slowly. He kissed her jaw line before kissing her neck. She started breathing heavily. His hand grazed her breast. She stopped him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you, Sammy." She nodded. He kissed her again. "We can keep reading if you want to. You can leave if I made you uncomfortable." Sirius rolled off of her. Sam put her head on his chest and smiled. "You're staying?" She nodded. He smiled. "That's good to know." They shared a brief kiss. "I love you."

"_Life couldn't get any better than it is right now! Casanova and I are in love and together. We are so happy together. I never want this feeling to end. It's been five months and we are still happy. Yes, we've had a few rows, as I've written before, but that doesn't matter. We have worked through each of our problems and our differences only make us stronger._

_I have great news! He proposed to me tonight! We are engaged! Casanova brought me to the astronomy tower and we were snogging. He pulled away and looked at me with this stupid smile. I asked him if he was alright. Casanova said he was fine before getting down on one knee. You could have knocked me over with a feather when he did that. He said he loved me and only me. He wants us to be together forever. He called me his soul mate. Casanova said he couldn't imagine his life without me. He asked me to marry him and I was in shock. I couldn't form any words. His face fell when I didn't speak. He told me to say something but I couldn't. Casanova wouldn't look at me when he got up and walked to the door. I started to come out of my coma and stopped him from leaving. I yelled to him. Yes, I'll marry you!_

_Casanova turned around asked me if I was sure. I said I was. He asked me why I took so long to answer and I told him I was surprised by the question. He asked if he had to repeat the question. It would be nice. He walked back over to me and got back down on one knee. He said that I should believe how much he loves me now because he wouldn't propose twice for anyone else. I laughed. He told me he loved me again and asked me once again to marry him. I said I would love to marry him. We kissed and…well…you know._

_I feel like the luckiest woman in the world! The man I love, my soul mate, and I are together and in love. We are in love and engaged. My life couldn't get any better._"

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The room was silent. They were the only ones there. She looked around and smiled as she stood in front of him. "Where is everyone?" 

He smiled. "I don't know and I don't care. All I care about is being alone with you right now." Her smile grew. "You look beautiful."

She looked down at her clothes and gave him a look. "I am in my school uniform…but the skirt is _very_ short." He smirked. She touched her hair. "My hair is…long again and it's still wavy." She looked at him oddly. "What is going on, Sirius?"

Sirius laughed. "What do you mean, Sammy?" Her eyebrow rose. He laughed again. "Ok, I have a feeling that this is my dream." She nodded slowly. "I love how you look in your uniform…I'd like it better if the skirt was shorter…and it is." She blushed. "And, I loved your long hair." She smiled. "You do look beautiful, Baby."

Sam smiled again. "You…are crazy." He shrugged. She spun around and stared at him. "Do you like what you see, Baby?"

He licked his lips and nodded eagerly. "Yes, I do. I really do." She smirked. "Will you remember this tomorrow?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want me to remember?" He nodded. "Then I will." He smiled. "So, what do you want to do with me?"

Sirius smirked. "I can think of a few things." Sam laughed. He got comfortable on his bed. He was sitting on the side of the bed as he reached for her. "Come here, Sammy."

Sam smirked. "Why should I?"

He laughed. "Baby, come here." She walked over to him and stood in between his legs. He touched her cheek. "Can-?"

She put a finger to his lips and smiled. "It's just a dream, Sirius. We can do anything you want." His eyes widened in delight. She rested her forehead against his. "Now, since this is your dream, what do you want to do with me?"

"I want to kiss you. I want you to kiss me without hesitation. I want you to kiss me for a long time without pulling away."

"If that's what you want from me then that's what you'll get from me."

Sirius had an excited smile on his face. "I want a hell of a lot more from you than that but I'll settle for just kissing."

Sam caressed his cheek. "You don't have to settle for anything when we are here, Baby. Whatever you to happen will happen."

He looked at her with anxious eyes. "Anything I want to happen will happen?" She nodded. He smiled slowly. "Sammy, tell me you love me." She sighed. He had a pained look on his face. "Can you tell me you love me, please?"

She looked at him closely. "Is that what you really want?" He nodded eagerly. She smiled. "I love you, Sirius."

Sirius hugged her tightly. "Do you mean it?" She nodded. He sighed in relief. "I love you too, Sammy." They held onto each other tightly and fell back on the bed. They laughed. He smiled at her when she looked at him. His smile grew when her hair fell around him. "I love being with you, Sammy."

Sam kissed his cheek. "I love being with you…any way I can."

"Kiss me, Sammy." They leaned in and kissed slowly. He ran his fingers through her hair. Their kiss grew deeper as he rolled over on top of her. "I want you so much."

"I want you too, Sirius." She whispered as she rolled over and straddled his hips. "I love you so much." His hand slid down her body and she sighed in content. "You're all I want." He smiled in surprise. She licked his neck. "Don't be so surprised. All I've ever wanted was you."

Sirius slid his hands up her skirt. She looked at him closely. "Is this alright?" She smiled and nodded. He removed his hands and just held her to him. "We have time before all of that." They crawled to the head of the bed and laid side by side. "I just want to take our time. I just want to enjoy being with you…without any hesitations."

Sam caressed his cheek. "I love being with you without hesitations. I feel like myself here." They kissed. "I feel like I can love you…without limitations."

He pulled her closer to him. They began to kiss again. He began to suck on her neck and her breath quickened. "I want to be with you forever, Sammy."

She held onto him tightly. "I want to be with you forever too." He pressed into her. "I love you so much, Sirius."

"I love you too, Sammy."

Sam pulled away. "Did you hear that?"

Sirius shook his head. "I didn't hear anything." He went back to kissing her neck and slid his hands up her skirt. She started rubbing his shoulders but soon pushed him away. He looked at her in surprise. "What's wrong?"

She stood up. "I heard something."

He groaned. "I didn't hear anything." She looked around the room. "Why don't you come back to bed?" 

Sam was silent as she tried to hear the noise. "It's gone. The noise is gone." He nodded slowly. She walked back over to the bed and smiled. He sat up in his bed and watched her with eager eyes. Her smile grew as she stood in front of him and started to unbutton her shirt. "Now, where were we?" He stopped her. She looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?" He shook his head. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Sirius kissed her slowly. "This is exactly what I wanted." She nodded slowly. "But I want to be the one to do that." She smiled slowly. His eyes widened in surprise when she started to unbutton his shirt. "What are you doing?"

She licked her lips. "I want to be the one to unbutton your shirt."

He smiled. "I want you to be the one to do that too." They kissed again as they tore off their shirts. He kissed her stomach. "I need you so much."

Sam caressed his cheek. "Sirius?" He looked at her with a smile. She kissed him. "I love you. I love only you." His smile grew. "I want you to know something." He looked at her closely. She smiled. "No matter what has happened…no matter what will happen…I will always love you. I will always need and want you. Sirius, you are the only one for me. You are it for me."

Sirius beamed at her. "Do you mean it? Do you really mean that, Sammy?" She bit her lip and nodded eagerly. He stood up and smiled. He picked her up and spun her around. "I love you, Sammy!" She laughed as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. "I love you so damn much!"

She kissed him. "I love you too, Sirius."

He held her to him as they went back to his bed. He smiled as she stared up at him. He kissed her. "I mean it, Sammy. I mean it every time I tell you that you are the only woman I love. You are the only woman I want and need. You are the only one in my heart, Sammy."

She smiled. "Sirius, you know that I loved Remus." He sighed as he nodded. "But that's over now." He looked at her in surprise. Her smile grew. "I may have loved him but you were the first person I loved and you will be the last. You are the one in my heart. You are the one I love. You are my soul mate."

Sirius smiled. "You're my soul mate too." She smiled. "Will you marry me?"

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she laughed. "What are you talking about?"

His smile grew. "Will you marry me?"

Sam laughed again. "Sirius, are you completely insane?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We are already married…or did you forget?"

He laughed. "I know that." They kissed. "I could never forget that."

She touched his cheek. "Then why did you ask me to marry you?"

Sirius kissed her neck. "I want to know if you would marry me." Her eyebrow rose. He nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "After everything that has happened between us, would you do it all over again? Would you marry me again now that you know about what I've done? Would you change your mind?"

Sam tightened her hold on him. "I would change things." He sighed. "The circumstances for why we got married were bad." He sighed again. "I would change the circumstances." He had a pained look on his face. "But I would never change my decision to marry you." He blinked in surprise. "I regret the circumstances but I will never regret marrying you."

He stroked her stomach. "You don't regret marrying me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't and I never will." He smiled. "Do you?"

"I will never regret marrying you, Baby."

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

Sam kissed him. "Will you always love me?"

Sirius smiled. "Yes, I will. Will you always love me?"

Her fingers traced his spine. "Yes, I will." His hands slid up her skirt. "Can we always be together?"

His smile grew. "Is that what you want?" She nodded eagerly. "Then we will always be together, Sammy. No one or thing can keep us apart. As long as we don't let it."

She loosened his belt. "Can we be together now?"

He laughed. "If that's what you want from me then that's what you'll get from me." She smirked. "Is that all you want from me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't."

Sirius removed her skirt. "You don't just want sex from me?" She shook her head again. "I don't just want sex from you either. I want all of you." She smiled as he removed her bra. She pushed down his pants. He took off his underwear and she did the same. "I want all of you, Samantha."

Sam bit his chest. "I want you to have all of me." He smiled. "I want all of you too, Sirius."

He pressed into her. She gasped in delight. "I want you to have all of me, Sammy." She smiled. "All I want is you." Their fingers entwined as they began. One of his hands gripped her hip while the other tangled in her hair. He kissed her deeply. She whispered his name in his ear. "I love you, Sammy."

She dug her nails into his back. "I love you, Sirius." He bit her neck. "I want you. I need you."

Sirius held her face in his hands as he pressed into her further. "I need and want you too, Baby. You are it for me." She called out his name and he rocked against her. "Sammy…Sammy…I love you!"

Sam sighed in content. They held each other. "I don't want this to end. I don't want to wake up."

They kissed again. "Why is that?"

She smiled. "I like being with you. I can only be with you like this in our dream world. Reality sucks in comparison."

He laughed. "Then we will never wake up." She smiled. "I don't want to wake up either." Her smile grew. "Can we do it again?" She nodded. "I love our dream world too." She laughed. "But not as much as I love you." They kissed. "Sammy, tell me you love me again."

Sam stroked his cheek as she smiled. "I love you, Sirius."

Sirius kissed her. "I love you too, Sammy."


	76. Chapter 75: Remembering Regrets

Author's Note: I know I tend to forget to update most of the time. That's why I'm posting two chapters tonight. If anyone wants to take on the job to remind me to post then that's fine. My beta used to do that for me. If I don't post for two weeks, send a pm my way and tell me to get on it already! Also, this chapter has a long ass paragraph in it. I wish you luck and hope you don't get cross-eyed because of it. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 75: Remembering Regrets. 

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The Great Hall was packed and filled with chatter. People were coming in and out while talking. Sirius walked in and smiled when he saw her. Sam was sitting at the table reading. He sat down next to her. "Good morning, Mrs. Black." She looked away from the journal and smiled at him. His finger traced her spine. She shivered in response. "How are you doing this fine morning, my love?" She gave him an odd look and shrugged. He smirked. "Did you have good dreams?" She shrugged again. His eyebrows furrowed together. "Did you dream about…me and you…together?" She shook her head slowly. His face fell. "You didn't?" She shook her head again. "Are you sure?" She laughed and nodded. "That can't be!" Her eyes widened. He sighed. "I was so sure…"

Sam looked at him closely. "_Are you ok_?" He shrugged. "_What's wrong_?"

Sirius sighed again. "I thought we shared a dream. I was sure we did!" She stared at him. He looked at her closely and smiled when she blushed while watching him lick his lips. His eyebrow rose. "Are you lying to me?" She shook her head. He eyed her closely. "Yes, you are! You are lying to me!"

She shook her head. "_No, I'm not. Why would I lie_?"

His eyebrow rose. "That's what I want to know." She rolled her eyes. He moved closer to her. He slid his finger up and down her arm. "Why would you lie to me, Baby? Are you embarrassed about the dream?" She gave him a look. He smirked before leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Are you embarrassed because you said you loved me?"

Sam's jaw clenched as she glared at him. "_I have no idea what you are talking about_."

Sirius laughed lightly. "Are you embarrassed because it was a…sex dream?" He whispered. She narrowed her eyes. He smirked again. He knew he was getting to her. "Are you embarrassed because you called out my name and scratched my back?" She bit her lip. "Are you embarrassed because you asked me to do it again?"

She sneered. "_I didn't ask you to do it again! You asked me!_" He laughed. She blushed. "_Ok, you caught me! I lied to you!_"

He nodded. "Yes, you did." She sighed. "Why did you lie to me?"

She shrugged. "_I don't know._"

He nudged her. 'Yes, you do. Tell me the truth." She looked at him closely. He smiled. "You can tell me anything, Baby. I just want the truth."

"_You really want the truth_?"

"Yes, I do. I just want us to be honest with one another."

Sam nodded slowly. "_Ok, I'll tell you the truth._" He smiled. "_I pretended not to remember because…I'm afraid I would slip back into my old habits._"

Sirius looked at her oddly. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"_You are one of my greatest weaknesses and it would be so easy for me to just give in but I can't. I don't want to go back into our confusing love and hate relationship. I can't do that anymore. It's not fair to either of us_."

"I see."

Her head cocked to the side. "_Are you mad at me_?"

He shook his head and smiled. "I'm not mad at you." She smiled. "I don't want to back to our on and off relationship again either. I just want us to be on…forever." She smiled again. He kissed her. "Did you notice that you were talking in the dream?" She laughed and nodded. "I did…do miss your voice. Do you miss talking?" She shrugged. They stood up and walked to the door. He stopped her. "Sammy, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Do you promise to be honest?" She nodded slowly. "That dream you had before being sent away for the first time…what did you see in that dream?" She reached up and kissed him. They stared at each other in surprise. Her eyes widened before she ran out of the room. He stared after her. His fingers touched his lips and he smiled slowly. "She kissed me." His smile grew. "She still wants me." He shook his head and laughed. "You may have tried to distract me now but I'll make you tell me what you saw in that dream one day, Sammy. I know you will tell me one day."

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Sam walked into the common room and saw Sirius sitting in the arm chair and talking with his friends. She smiled and waved at him when he noticed her. He walked over to her and smiled. "Hello Sammy." She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He was surprised at first before holding her close to him. "I don't know why you are hugging me but I don't mind at all." She pulled back and smiled at him. "Did you read something good in the journal?" She nodded and smiled again. He caressed her cheek. "I'm glad to hear it." Her smile grew. "Sam, can I kiss you?" She smiled as she shook her head. He laughed. "You do realize that I'm going to kiss you anyway, don't you?" She laughed and shrugged. He kissed her slowly before resting his forehead against hers. "That felt good." Her eyes closed as she nodded. "I love you." He kissed her again. "I love you so much."

"Break it up, you two." They pulled apart. Frank smiled. "Don't you two do anything besides grope each other?" Her eyes narrowed. He pulled her away from Sirius and hugged her tightly. "You need to come up for air, Sammy."

Sam shrugged him off but he put his arm around her shoulders. James rolled his eyes when he saw Frank squeeze her to him and how uncomfortable Sam looked. "Longbottom, stop trying to grope her! Alice might kill you!"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm giving my friend a hug. Alice won't kill me over that."

Sirius smiled at her when he noticed how tense she was becoming. "Frank, you know she doesn't like to be touched too much."

Frank rolled his eyes again as he let her go. He winced when Sam kicked his shin. "What the hell was that for? You were letting Sirius touch you."

He smirked. "I'm her husband." They gave him a look. "What can I say? She can't keep her hands off of me."

Sam gave him the finger before looking at Frank. "_I'm going to tell Alice you molested me!_"

The boys laughed. She sat down on the table and Sirius sat next to her. "So, how's the celibacy going, Sammy?" Kevin asked with a smirk. Sirius was leaning against her and planting small kisses on her neck. Sam bit her lip and glared at Kevin. "Are you sticking to it?"

Sirius groaned. "Yes, she is!" They laughed. "What are you lot up to?"

They shrugged. "We have nothing planned really." Chris said. "I was thinking a bout seeing what Michael is up to."

He held in a sneer. "That's cool." He saw Sam looking at Chris with interest. "Don't-" She looked at him oddly. He gave her a nervous smile. "Don't you…do you want to hang out with us?" Her eyebrow rose. "Or would you rather hang out with Chris and Michael?"

Chris laughed. "We are all hanging out with Michael, mate. The girls went to get him."

Kevin laughed. "Maybe I should try and almost get killed. That way, all the girls would fawn over me." The boys laughed while Sam glared at him. He rolled his eyes. "I was only joking, Sammy. I think how he saved you was great. You know that. I'm grateful that he saved your life." She smiled. "I also like how girls are throwing themselves at him. It must be nice." She kicked his shin. He winced. "What the hell was that for?"

"Sam, why are you kicking my boyfriend?" Patty asked.

They looked at the girls and Michael and smiled. "Kevin was just praising Michael." Remus said.

Lily kissed James. "So, Sam kicked him for that?"

Sam scribbled down a note for the girls and Michael to read. Michael laughed. "So, you want to almost die to get girls to fawn all over you, Kevin?" Michael shrugged. "Whatever works, I guess."

Patty glared at Kevin. He shifted uncomfortably. "We'll talk later." She muttered.

Alice slapped Frank upside his head. "You were molesting Sam?"

Frank rubbed the back of his head and glared at Sam. She smiled sweetly. "I did not! I was just hugging her!" Alice eyed him closely. "She kicked me!"

Mary laughed. "I bet she did. Sam gets moody and violent when it's her time of the month." The boys groaned while the girls laughed. She blushed when she saw Remus. "H-Hi Remus."

He smiled shyly. "Hi Mary."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed together as she looked at them. She nudged Sirius. He looked at her oddly. "_What's with them_?"

Sirius smirked. "I think they have the hots for each other." She nodded slowly. He leaned in and whispered. "Nothing is great as dork love." She laughed into his shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulders and smiled. "You know it's true." She kissed his cheek and hugged him. "They should just get it on already."

Frank rolled his eyes. "The two of you should just shag already."

Alice gave him a look. "Why are you being such a dick?" He looked at her in surprise. "Are you sure it's not your time of the month?" They laughed in response.

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* * *

"Ok, are you ready?"

Sam nodded. "_Yes, I am._"

Alan smiled. "Alright, look at the bag." She turned her head and paled. She took a step away. He sighed. "Sam, it's time to confront him." She shook her head. "That's fine. We'll wait to start with Severus." He waved his wand. He touched her arm but she shrugged him off. "We'll wait, ok?" She nodded slowly. "Why don't we start with…James?"

She sighed. "_That's fine._" He nodded. "_I'm sorry, Alan. I know I should be able to deal with him now but it's too soon._"

He nodded again. "Its fine, Sam. I understand. We'll deal with him soon enough." She smiled. "Now, let's deal with James."

Sam steadied herself before they began. "_I'm ready_."

Alan smiled. "Then let us begin." She glared at the punching bag when it took the form of her brother. "Think of all the mean things-" Sam started to wail on the bag. His eyes widened in surprise. "I guess you don't need any help with this one." He muttered. He watched her closely as she attacked the punching bag. He smiled slowly as her steam started to die down. "Did you forget how he blamed the attack and everything else on you?" She growled before starting to attack again. He sat back and watched her fight with everything she had. She took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from her brow. He gave her an encouraging smile. "That was wonderful, Sam." She shrugged. His head titled to the side. "Do you feel any better?" She shrugged again. He nodded slowly. She looked at him. "Are you ready to continue?" She nodded. "It is your father's turn now." She looked at the ground. "After we are done with your father…we will be using Sirius." She looked at him closely. He shrugged. "Or we could do Severus." Sam gave him a pained look. Alan sighed. "It's up to you, Sam. Who do you want to get over after your father? Do you want it to be your attacker or…your husband?" She shook her head. He sighed again. "We will do your father tonight and then stop but by our next session…_you_ will have to make a choice." She nodded slowly. "Ok, let's continue." Sam took a deep breath when she saw that the punching bag resembled her father. The pained look returned to her face. He smiled at her. "Sam, are you ready to face your father?"

She was staring at the bag intently. "_I'm ready_."

He nodded slowly. "Let us begin." Sam held up her gloved hands and waited for him to start. "Your father took care of you, didn't he?" She nodded. "The two of you were close once, isn't that right?" She nodded quickly. "Didn't he give up on you?" Her chin trembled as she nodded again. "Harold was one of the only men in your life that you thought you could count on no matter what." She let out a shaky breath. "You trusted him above everything else but that trust was broken. You were angry with him when you hit him. You wanted to end your sham of a marriage but he wouldn't let you. Harold went behind your mother's back and helped the two of you get married. The marriage between you and Sirius was over before it even began." A tear slipped down her cheek. "Your father risked your mother's wrath to give you what you wanted most. He gave you a life with Sirius and…how did you repay him?" Sam turned to look at him with tears in her eyes. "You gave up on your marriage without a second thought." She shook her head aggressively. He rubbed his eyes. "You regret throwing away your father's help, don't you? You regret hitting him and saying those things to him, don't you?" She nodded quickly. He crouched down on the floor beside her when she sat on her knees and started to cry. "Your mother wants you to forgive him, doesn't she?" She nodded again. "Do you want to forgive him?" She shrugged slowly. Alan touched her shoulder. "Do you forgive him for insinuating that you only married Sirius for sex? Do you forgive him for saying you were a spoiled brat? Do you forgive him for hitting you and all the other hateful things he said to you?" He watched as she cried into her gloves. "He was the one you trusted above everyone else. He was the love of your life…only in a different way than how Sirius is the love of your life. You may have done and said things you regret but he betrayed you, Sam. He let you down and said things you regret but he betrayed you, Sam. He let you down when you needed him most. He gave up on you in your time of need and chose to side with someone else. He chose someone else over you, his own daughter. The man you trusted wholeheartedly gave up on you. He disowned you. After everything that has happened, he chose to give up on you. You don't have a father anymore because he made it so. You may have hurt him but he broke your heart in a worse way than James, Remus, and Sirius did. Harold hurt you in a way that only a father could. He had the chance to choose you but he didn't. He was the one that broke the trust between you two completely, not you, Sam. He chose to stop being your father. It is his own fault that he lost his daughter, not yours. You wanted to beg for forgiveness but he hit you and cast you aside like you meant nothing to him. He was the one to do that, not you. He said what he did and he hit you like he did. He gave up on you. He was one of the many reasons why you tried to kill yourself. You loved him but he gave up on that love when you made the brave decision to save your own sanity instead of your marriage. He made the choice, not you." Sam continued to cry. Alan touched her arm. "You still have people that care about you. Your mother, your friends, and even Sirius still care for you despite your decision to leave for your own health. You have them and…you have me." Her body shook as she cried. He rubbed her arms and sighed. "Don't cry for him, Sam. Don't cry for what he has done. He is the one that should cry, not you." She looked at him closely as she wiped her eyes. "Let it out, Samantha. Let out your pain and aggression towards the man you once called 'Daddy'. Punch the bag to realize all of your anger towards him." Alan helped her up. Sam stared at him. "It's going to be ok now, Sam. All you have to do is let go." She nodded slowly. "You have me to help you. You have me to go to. I won't let you down like he did. I may be a bastard at times but I will never give up on you." Sam started to punch the bag. He watched her as she fought the memories of her fight with Harold. She fought against every hateful word he said to her that day and ever slap he gave her. She fought against the feeling of abandonment she had the moment Harold disowned her. She fought against her feelings of despair when she tried to kill herself the moment she realized she had no one to rely on except herself. Sam fell to her knees when she was done and cried. He sat beside her and held her tightly. She held onto him. Alan stroked her hair and tried his best to soothe her. Sam cried into his chest. They rocked back and forth during this first embrace of comfort. "It's ok, Sam. It's ok." She tightened her hold on him. "You know that you have the strength to rely on yourself now. You also know that you can rely on me. I'm here for you and I won't give up on you. I won't give up on you ever like the others did."

Sam looked at him. "_Thank you, Alan._"

Alan smiled. "It's not a problem, Sam. I just want you to know that you aren't alone." They pulled apart. "That was a good first hug." She let out a tiny laugh. His smile grew. "You don't have to worry. You have me to count on from now on…besides yourself."

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* * *

Sirius smiled at her. "You're going to love Hogwarts, Sammy. It's the best place…besides your house, I mean." She blushed in response. His smile grew. "Are you excited about starting?" She gulped before nodding. He winked at her. "I'm excited you're starting too."

Sam's eyes widened with delight. "T-Thank you, Sirius." She stared at him when he looked away to talk to James. She saw Remus looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head and smiled at him. He blushed when he saw her look his way. "Hello again, Remus." He nodded awkwardly. "Are you excited about going back to school?" He started to stutter and muttered gibberish. She gave him an odd look. "Are you alright?"

Remus gulped. "I-I'm…uh…fine. I-I…I-I'm j-just excited about g-going b-back."

He turned his head and his eyes narrowed when he saw how Remus was acting around Sam. He sneered when he noticed how Sam was staring at him. His teeth clenched when they continued to talk. Well, Sam talked while Remus continued to stutter and drool over her. "What are you two talking about?"

She looked at him shyly. "We…we aren't talking about anything really."

Sirius smiled at her as he put his arm around her shoulders. She blushed again. Remus sighed in defeat. "Are you talking his ear off, Sammy?" She let out a nervous laugh. He squeezed her to him. "You-"

James rolled his eyes. "Sirius, let's play wizard's chess." Sirius nodded slowly. "Sammy, you should watch. It might help you learn how to play."

Sam smiled. "That sounds good." She looked back at Remus. "Are you going to watch as well?"

His eyes narrowed again. "I doubt Remus wants to watch us play. He will probably just read a book. That's all he does."

He blushed. "There is nothing wrong with reading, Sirius."

Her eyes widened. "Do you read a lot, Remus?" He nodded. "So do I!" They shared a smile. Sirius held in a groan. "What type of books do you read?"

Sirius coughed. "Remus, why don't you watch us play?"

Remus looked at him oddly. "That's fine. I'll watch."

Sam smiled. "That's great! We can talk about books while we watch them play."

He pouted. "This is just great!" He muttered to himself. Sam and Remus moved to sit closer so they could talk and watch the game. "He better not touch her."

Sirius shrugged. "That's all that happened on her first train ride to school."

Andrew nodded. "I see. It was rather uneventful." He nodded in response. "But you were jealous that she wasn't paying all her attention to you. She was focused on Remus and trying to find out why he was acting weird around her."

He nodded and laughed. "Sam couldn't understand why he was acting that way around her. She didn't put it together that he was acting just like her when she was around me."

He smiled. "That's true." Sirius smiled. "Why were you jealous?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Are you kidding me?" Andrew gave him a look. He laughed. "He had a crush on my wife! He was acting like a git around her and she was paying so much attention to him! Of course I was jealous!"

Andrew looked at him oddly. "She wasn't your wife on that train ride. It would have been impossible. You were twelve and she was eleven."

He shrugged. "Well, she is my wife now." He gave him a look. He sighed. "He wanted my girlfriend and I was jealous."

"She wasn't your girlfriend then either. If memory serves me, she was Remus' girlfriend first."

His eyes narrowed. "What's your point?"

He shrugged again. "I have no point really. I just wanted to annoy you."

Sirius sneered. "You're an asshole."

Andrew smiled. "So are you." Sirius gave him the finger. "That was a very intelligent response."

"Thank you, Andrew. Your opinion matters so much to me." Andrew rolled his eyes. Sirius smirked. "Are you still bitter that I called you on wanting to shag my wife?"

He sighed. "Let's stop this before it gets ugly." He nodded slowly. "You mentioned your thirteenth birthday. Why was that so special?"

He smiled. "I spent it with my friends and…I danced with Sam."

Andrew smiled. "Tell me about it."

They snuck up to the astronomy tower as quietly as possible. Sirius held Sam's hand and smiled at her. "Are you ok?" He asked when he saw her shiver. "Are you cold?"

Sam blushed. "I'm fine." She shivered again. "I-I'm just a little cold."

Sirius pulled her closer to him and smiled at her. "I'll warm you up." She gulped. They stood next to James at the ledge. "Are you going to talk to James at all tonight?" She shook her head. His smile grew. "I see."

James looked at them. "Sirius, you have to make a wish now."

He smiled at the first star he saw and closed his eyes. He wished as hard as he could before opening his eyes. He smiled again. "Ok, I'm done."

He looked at him oddly. "You're done already?" Sirius nodded. He shrugged. "Alright, let's go." He went to the door and stared at his sister. He smiled. "Are you coming, Sammy?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head. He sighed in defeat. "Sirius, are you coming?"

Sirius smiled and shook his head. "No, I'm going to stay a little longer." James nodded slowly. He squeezed Sam to him. "Don't worry, mate. I'll make sure Sammy is taken care of." He nodded and left. Sirius turned his head to look at her. "Do you mind that we are alone together, Sammy?"

She shook her head. "I-I don't mind at all, Sirius." He smiled. "Do you mind that you are alone with me?"

He smirked. "I don't mind at all, Sammy." She blushed. "So, are we going to do it now…or do you want to wait a little longer?"

Her head cocked to the side. "What are you talking about? What do you want to do with me?"

He hid his smile. "I could think of a few things." She looked at him oddly. He shook his head. He had to force himself to remember that she was only eleven and not even remotely close to being ready to understand what he meant. He took a deep breath. He wanted to kiss her so much but he was still scared to do it. "Don't you remember what we did on your birthday?"

Sam nodded slowly. "We went out onto the balcony and I made a wish."

Sirius smiled. "And…?" She shrugged. He sighed in defeat. "And we danced."

She let out a tiny giggle. "I remember that, Sirius." He smiled. She blushed again. "Is that what you want to do with me?" His smile grew. "Do you want us to dance together like we did on my birthday?" He nodded slowly. Her eyes widened. "A-Are you sure about this?"

He smiled again. "Yes, I am."

"Why is that?"

"I danced with you on your birthday. It's only fair you dance with me."

She nodded slowly. "I see."

He looked at her closely. "This could be our own tradition, Sammy." She looked at him. "We can dance on our birthdays, Christmas, and…New Year's Eve. It will be our own tradition and we can't break it unless we are apart."

Sam had a wide smile on her face. "That sounds great!" He laughed. "Are you sure about this?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I am. I want to dance with you every chance I can get." She gulped. "Is that alright with you?" She nodded quickly. "I…can we dance now?"

She nodded. "Yes, we can, Sirius."

He pulled her closer to him. She put her head on his shoulder. He smiled. "Put your hands around my neck, Sammy. It's alright."

They held each other tightly as they started to dance. Sam sighed in content as she rested her head on his shoulder again. Sirius smiled before resting his head on hers. The wind whipped around them as they swayed to the silence. He tightened his hold on her. She took in his scent. "This is nice." She muttered. He smiled. "I am enjoying this, Sirius."

He caressed her cheek. "I'm enjoying this too, Sammy." She smiled. "I lo…like dancing with you, Sammy."

Her heart was racing. "I love dancing with you too, Sirius."

They stopped dancing and stared at each other. Sirius caressed her cheek again and smiled slowly. He licked his lips. "Sammy, there's something I've been wanting to tell you."

Sam looked at him closely. "You can tell me anything, Sirius." 

Sirius opened his mouth but was interrupted. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

They pulled apart and saw Hannah Benjamin staring at them. He held in a groan. "Hannah, what are you doing here?" He asked.

Hannah smiled. "You told me to meet you up here so we could snog."

He looked at her closely. "Did I?"

She nodded. "Yes, you did." She glared at Sam. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius glared at her. "She's my friend. That's why she's here."

Sam looked at the ground before looking at him. "I didn't know you were dating Hannah." He sighed when he saw how sad she looked. "I should go. I'm sure you want to be alone." She looked back at the ground to hide her tears. "You can tell me what you had to later, Sirius."

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Could you hurry up, please?" Sam's chin trembled but made sure they didn't see. "Everyone knows you have a crush on him but he doesn't want you hanging around right now, Potter."

She turned her back to Hannah and stared at Sirius. His heart dropped when he saw the look on her face. "I'm sorry. I'll stop bothering you now." He shook his head. "Happy Birthday, Sirius."

He watched her walk to the door and held in a groan when Hannah hugged him. "Sammy?" She wiped her eyes before looking at him. "I…" She bit her lip. He took a deep breath before smirking. "Isn't it past your bed time?" Her face fell while Hannah laughed. "You're a little too young to be out this late."

She smirked. "Do you sleep with a teddy bear, _Sammy_?"

Her eyes narrowed into thin slits. "No, I don't." Hannah rolled her eyes. Sam sneered. "One day, you will regret making fun of me, Hannah." She rolled her eyes again. "One day, I'll beat your ass down."

Hannah's jaw dropped. "I-Is that a threat?"

Sam smirked. "It's a promise. It doesn't matter if you look at me funny or if you start a rumor about me, I'll beat you down. No one makes fun of me and gets away with it."

Sirius stared at her in amazement. She never threatened anyone before. "Sammy-"

She looked at him. Tears reappeared in her eyes. "I'll be going now. I'm sorry I took up all of your time. Happy Birthday, Sirius." He nodded slowly. "Have sweet dreams tonight, Sirius. I hope that wish, whatever it was, comes true for you."

He smiled. "Thank you, Sammy. I hope you have sweet dreams too." She nodded. "Say hello to your teddy bear for me." She let a tear slip down her cheek and he had a pain in his chest. She left them alone and Hannah kissed his neck. He sighed before smirking at her. "So, what do you want to do with the birthday boy?" She giggled in response. He held in a sneer. "That's what I thought."

"Wait a fucking minute!" Andrew exclaimed.

"What's the problem?"

Andrew looked at him in disbelief. "Are you just screwing with me?" Sirius looked confused. He shook his head. "Are you telling me that you dated Hannah Benjamin? The same Hannah Benjamin that Remus cheated on Sam with and later dated before getting dumped?"

Sirius held up his hands. "Whoa! Hold on a fucking minute! I never dated her. I just snogged her on a couple of occasions." Andrew eyed him closely. "Believe me; I didn't enjoy myself all that much."

He shook his head again. "Do Remus and Sam know about this?"

He rolled his eyes. "Obviously, Sam knows about it. Weren't you listening?" Andrew rolled his eyes. "Remus knew about it while it was going on. He didn't care because he wasn't into her then."

"Why were you making fun of Sam?"

"I have no idea. I…don't know. I was an idiot when it came to my feelings for her back then. I…wanted Sam but I wanted to tell her in private, not with that bitch Hannah around. It was easier to make fun of her and get her to leave than anything else."

Andrew shook his head. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Sirius nodded and shrugged. "What was the wish you made that night?"

Sirius smiled. "I wished for Sam."

He laughed. "It only took a couple of years to come true."

He shrugged. "I wish for her every year."

Andrew smiled. "You wish for her every year?"

Sirius' smile grew. "Yes, I do. It doesn't matter what's going on in my life. I've been wishing for her on my birthday every year since we've met."

He nodded. "How did she act around you after that night?"

He sighed. "She acted distant. I had to make her come back to me…in a way."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know what I mean."

Andrew sighed. "Sirius, you know what you mean." Sirius shrugged. "How did you get her back to fawning all over you?"

Sirius sighed. "I didn't do anything really." Andrew sighed in defeat. He smiled. "Sammy…she used to be so innocent. She had and still does have a lot of guy friends." Andrew nodded slowly. "She was used to being friends with guys because of me and James. Lily was her first girl friend."

He looked at him closely. "I don't understand. What's your point?"

He shrugged. "Ok, after that incident with Hannah, Sam kept close to her guy friends. Those _friends_ had crushes on her but she never noticed. For some reason, she didn't think anyone would like her in that way."

"Sirius, I beg you to get to the point."

He glared at him. "I am getting to my point!" He nodded. "When she walked down the halls with them, they would have their arms around her and it drove me, James, and Remus insane. So, I decided to protect her to get her to talk to me again. It was the only thing I could think of. I tried flirting with her but she would only fall for it for a moment before one of the girls that liked me came along and made her think she was bothering me again."

"How did you protect her?" He smirked in response. "Just tell me."

The boys were hanging out in the halls in between classes and they were joking around. Their laughter soon stopped when they saw three boys walking with Sam. Their eyes widened. "What the bloody hell is that?" James muttered in disbelief. "Who are those gits and why are they surrounding my sister?"

Remus blinked in surprise. "Do you think they are bothering her?"

Sirius growled. "They better not be!" He looked at his friends. "I thought we made it clear that no guys, except us, can go near her?"

James shook his head. "Obviously, we didn't make ourselves clear!"

Remus shrugged. "I guess not." They glared at the one boy who put his arm around Sam. "What are we going to do?"

James growled. "I'm going to kick that prat's ass!"

Sirius shook his head. "No, you can't!" James looked at him oddly. "Sam is still pissed off at you. If you beat that guy down, she will make sure she hangs around him."

Remus looked at him. "So, what do you suggest that we do?"

Sirius smirked. "I'll distract Sammy while the two of you make our message clear." They smiled and nodded. They walked behind Sam and the boys. Sirius pushed the boy off of Sam and put his arm around her shoulders. "Hi Sammy! How is my favorite girl doing?"

Sam's face was on fire when she looked at him. "I-I'm your favorite girl?" He nodded and winked at her. "I-I'm fine. H-How are you?"

He smiled at her. "I'm doing great now that I'm with you." He turned his head and nodded at James and Remus. "Sammy, can I talk to you about something?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course you can, Sirius."

They stopped walking and Sirius saw James and Remus _talking_ to the boys. "I've missed you, Sammy." Her eyes widened. "I was wondering why you've been distant."

Sam looked down at the ground. "I thought you didn't want me bothering you anymore."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "You could never be a bother to me, Sammy."

James punched one of the boys in the stomach. "Let me make myself clear. Don't you ever touch my sister again or you'll regret it!"

Remus pushed the others back when they tried to help the boy when James punched him again. "Don't try and help him! The same will happen to you if you even think about touching Sam either!"

He smirked. "Sam, you're my friend. Of course I want you around." She smiled. "Can I walk you to class?"

Her eyes widened. "That would be great!" He smiled. "But my friends-"

Sirius pulled her to him when she started to look around. "Don't worry about them, Sammy. You'll see them later." She nodded slowly. They started walking to her class. "Would you like me to carry your books?"

Sam blushed. "Y-You don't have to do that, Sirius."

He smiled again. "I want to." He held her books in his hand as he guided her down the hall. He nodded at people who called out to him. "I'm glad we're ok, Sammy."

She smiled. "So am I." Sam grew tense when his latest girlfriend waved him over but was surprised when he ignored her. "Sirius, don't you want to go talk to your girlfriend? I understand."

Sirius shook his head. "She doesn't matter. I'm with you and that's all that matters to me." She smiled in surprise. They stopped in front of her class and he leaned against the wall and played with her hair. "I love your hair, Sammy." She gulped. He leaned in closer to her. "I'm glad I have you back now."

Sam licked her lips. "Are you?" He nodded. "A-Are you saying that you missed me?" He smirked and nodded again. "I-I've missed you too."

He glided his thumb across her bottom lip. "I hate it when you stop speaking to me."

They leaned in but Sirius pulled back when he heard James hiss. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

She looked at him oddly. "Sirius?"

Sirius gulped. He was so close to kissing her but James was watching him like a hawk. He saw his girlfriend looking at him with a glare. He pushed Sam's books into her chest and sighed. "I-I've got to go, Sammy. I'll talk to you later." He walked away and smirked at his girlfriend. "Simone, I've been waiting for you."

Andrew laughed. "You had James and Remus beat the boys up, you flirted with her, almost kissed her, and then ditched her for Simone?"

He shrugged. "Yes, I did."

"How did this plan of yours work? How did she go back to fawning all over you?"

"We had to do the same routine every day for a week until those idiots either stayed away from her or kept a ten foot distant while walking with her. I gave Sam crumbs of affection and she kept taking them. That's how."

He rolled his eyes. "That's cold. You knew how she felt about you and you played on her emotions."

Sirius sighed. "I told you. I was an idiot."

Andrew nodded. "That's true."

"I don't know what to tell you. I loved her but I couldn't be with her because James wouldn't let it. I thought he wouldn't let it. I wanted to kiss her but James ruined that. I…was an idiot that hurt her…repeatedly but I regret it now. I regretted it then too. I can't change it now. I wish I could but I can't."

He stared at him closely. "Do you have a lot of regrets when it comes to Sam?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I do."

"Tell me more of your memories."

"Why should I?"

"They are interesting. I like to get your point of view on things since I know Sam's already. Plus, it gives me insight into what you were thinking."

Sirius thought for a moment before sighing. "What do you want to know?"

Andrew shrugged. "What do you want to tell me?"

He sighed again. "I don't know what to tell you." Andrew stared at him. "I…she left during summer holiday for two weeks. She came back the night before we left for school." Andrew nodded slowly. "I was with her on her birthday. We danced again." He let out a tiny laugh and shrugged. "It became our own little tradition."

He smiled. "Why do you keep telling me about the times the two of you danced?"

"I don't know. It's just…no matter what is going on between us; we've always kept our promise and danced together. In the moment when we are dancing, we are happy together. Nothing else matters when we dance together. All the crap we are dealing with fades away and we get along even if it's only for a few moments."

"That sounds nice."

"It is."

"Tell me about when you danced with her on her twelfth birthday."

They stood out on the balcony. The boys waited as Sam made her wish. Her eyes were shut tight and a wide smile was on her face. She opened her eyes and looked at them. "I'm done."

James nodded. "Are you?" She nodded. "You took a lot longer this year."

Sam shrugged. "I just wanted something more this year."

Sirius smiled. "What did you wish for?"

She smiled at him in a way he never saw before. His breathing slowed. "Now, that would be telling." They kept urging her to tell them her wish. She laughed. "I can't tell you. If I do, it won't come true."

James nodded. "That is true." He yawned. "So, what do you want to do now?"

Sirius smiled at Sam. She smiled back. They were waiting for their dance. "Why don't you go to bed? You keep yawning."

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I can stay up a little longer."

He sighed in defeat. "Ok, if that's what you want to do."

Sam laid down on the balcony floor and stared at the sky. They looked at her oddly. She continued to stare at the sky. "Stop staring at me like that and join me."

They shrugged and laid down. James was at one end of the balcony while Sirius was next to Sam. They glanced at each other and smiled when their hands brushed. "This is nice." He whispered. She gave him a smile before looking back at the sky. He kept staring at her. "Beautiful." He muttered.

She turned her head and looked at him oddly. "What did you say, Sirius?"

He blushed. "I-I said beautiful." She nodded slowly. "The sky…is very beautiful." She nodded again. He looked at her closely. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen before in my life." James let out a loud snore. They laughed. "I see James is the life of the party as usual."

Sam laughed. "That he is."

Sirius stood up and helped her to her feet. "I'm going to wake him up."

"I'll help you." He smiled. "It is late. Maybe I should go to bed too."

He stopped moving. "You don't have to." She looked at him closely. "We still have to have our traditional dance."

She smiled slowly. "A-Are you sure you want to dance with me? Aren't you too tired for that?"

His smile grew. "I'll never be too tired to dance with you, Sammy." She smiled in surprise. "Should I wait to wake him so we could dance or do you want us to be alone?"

Sam's eyes widened. "I-I…whatever you want."

Sirius smiled. "As you wish." She laughed when he bowed. He shook James awake. James stirred. "Come on, mate. It's time to go to bed." James swatted at his hands. "You can't sleep out here. I'll help you to your room so you can sleep there."

James staggered as he yawned. "Alright, let's go." He smiled at Sam. "Happy Birthday, Sammy." She smiled. "You should get to bed too. It's late and you don't want to waste your birthday by sleeping."

She nodded. "I'll help Sirius bring you to your room before going to bed."

His face fell before he sighed. "Let's go, mate."

They guided James to his room and got him into bed. James fell asleep once his head hit his pillow. They crept out of his room and walked down the hall. Sam stood in front of Sirius' door and waited for him to catch up. His eyes widened in surprise. She smiled. "Why do you look so surprised?"

"I-I thought you told James you were going to bed after we took him to his room?"

Sam opened his door and walked in. He followed her. They stood on the balcony once again and Sirius stared at her as she held onto the railing and looked at the sky. He inched closer to her before gathering up the courage to put his arms around her shoulders and squeeze her to him. She took a deep breath before putting an arm around his waist. He smiled at her in surprise. She rested her head on his shoulder. "This is nice." She whispered.

Sirius gulped as he nodded. "Yes, it really is."

She smiled. "Thank you, Sirius."

He looked at her closely. "Why are you thanking me?"

"I'm thanking you for…remembering our tradition."

"We haven't danced yet, Sammy." She looked at him. "I may have remembered our tradition but…I really want to keep it going. I'd love to dance with you."

"I love you, Sirius."

He choked. "W-What d-did you say, Sammy?"

She gulped. "I-I s-said I-I'd love to, Sirius."

Sirius nodded. "I…ok." He took her hand in his and smiled at her. He leaned in close and she gulped. "Can I tell you a secret, Sammy?" He whispered in her ear. She gulped again. "Can I?"

She nodded quickly. "Of course you can."

He smiled. "I've been looking forward to this all day." Her eyes widened. "I've been looking forward to this since…my birthday."

She looked at him in surprise. "Y-You have?" He nodded. "Can I tell you something, Sirius?"

He nodded again and smiled. "Of course you can."

"I-I've been looking forward to this since…your birthday too."

Sirius gulped. "Sammy?" She looked at him closely. "You…you make me feel…like I can do anything."

Sam choked. "I-I make you feel that way?" He nodded. "You make me feel the same way."

He smiled. "I-I do?" She nodded. He licked his lips. "No one has ever made me feel like this before, Sammy." She stared at him in shock. "Do you…has anyone made you feel like this before?"

She shook her head. "No, you are the first one. You are the only one, Sirius."

They tightened their hold on each other as they swayed. Sam let out a tiny laugh and gasped when he dipped her. Sirius smiled. "You are the only one too, Samantha." He held her close to him and they hugged. "Thank you for dancing with me."

They pulled away for a moment before hugging again. "Thank you for remembering to dance with me."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "I'll always remember to dance with you." She blushed as she leaned into his touch. "I'll always remember you, Sammy. Never doubt that, ok?"

Sam kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'll never doubt that, Sirius." He smiled. "I'll always remember you too, Sirius."

"And, I will never doubt that."

They smiled before going back into his room. He kissed her cheek and she blushed. "Well…I guess I should be going now. I'm sure you are tired."

He sighed. He didn't want her to go. He was so close to telling her how he felt that he didn't want her to leave. He knew if she did, he wouldn't find the courage to tell her again. "If you are tired then I guess…you should go to bed."

She nodded. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. Have sweet dreams, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "Have sweet dreams too, Sammy." She went to the door but stopped when he called out to her. "Sammy, wait, don't go!"

Sam stared at him with wide eyes. "What is it? What's wrong?"

He gave her a small smile. "Are…are you sure that you want to go to bed?" She looked at him oddly. "Are you tired?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not. Aren't you tired?"

"No, I'm not." She looked around the room and nodded slowly. He sat down on his bed. "Would you like to stay here with me…and talk?" She gulped. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I mean, it's completely up to you."

"Do you want me to stay…with you?"

Sirius nodded. "I would love it if you stayed with me."

Sam smiled. "Then I'll stay with you." He patted the spot next to him on his bed. The blush reappeared on her face. "You want me on the bed?"

He hid his smile. She was way too young to hear his real answer. "Yes, I want you…to sit on the bed with me."

Sam took a deep breath before sitting down next to him. Sirius laid down and motioned for her to do the same. She smiled shyly before laying down too. They turned on their sides and faced each other. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. What do you want to talk about?" She shrugged in response. He sighed. "Well…I…uh…was wondering something."

She smiled at him. "What were you wondering?"

He gave her a nervous smile. "Have you heard from that prat?"

She looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about? What prat?"

He let out a tiny laugh. "That friend of yours. That…uh…Michael Lewis prat."

Sam laughed. "Oh, _that_ prat." He smiled. "Yes, I've heard from him." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and sneer. "And, he isn't a prat."

Sirius scoffed. "Yes, he is!" She rolled her eyes. "I think he is after you."

She laughed again. "What are you talking about? Do you think he wants to hurt me?"

"No, I think he wants to snog you!"

She laughed and pushed his shoulder. "You're crazy! Michael doesn't like me like that! No one likes me like that!"

He pulled her to him. "Someone does like you, Sammy."

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius, he is just my friend. Why don't you like him?"

Sirius pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. "I…just don't." She gave him a look. He kissed her forehead. "He isn't even remotely close to being good enough for you…friend or not."

Sam smiled at him. "Who is good enough for me?"

He smiled. "No one is good enough for you, Sammy."

"What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

Her smile grew when he held her hand. "Is Simone good enough for you?"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Simone doesn't count anymore." Her eyebrow rose. He licked his lips. "She's in the category of the girls I choose to forget."

"So, is there anyone good enough for you? Is there someone good enough to be remembered by you?"

Sirius smiled. "There is one girl that is worth remembering but…she is too good for me."

Sam laughed. "I doubt that!" He shrugged. "Sirius, that's impossible!"

He looked at her closely. "Why is that impossible?"

She smiled. "Sirius, you're wonderful!" He laughed and rolled his eyes. "No, I'm being honest! You're smart, talented, fun, funny, kind, and you are the most handsome boy I've ever seen in my entire life." He smirked. Her eyes widened and she blushed in embarrassment. "I-I…I just meant that…"

Sirius continued to smirk. "I know what you meant, Sammy. Thank you for that."

Sam nodded. "I'm just telling the truth."

"It's nice to know that someone thinks so highly of me."

"I do. You can do anything, Sirius. I think this _girl_ isn't good enough for you."

He sighed before smiling. "She is too good for me, Sammy. She is my perfect match. This girl is the only girl I'll ever love." She looked away from him. She didn't want to hear about this mystery girl. "She is my soul mate."

She yawned. "Well, I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have someone as wonderful as you love her." He smiled. She snuggled into the mattress. "I know that if I was lucky enough to have a great guy like you love me, I'd never let him go."

Sirius inched closer to her. "Sammy, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "What did you wish for?"

Sam yawned again as her eyes started to flutter shut. "I wished for the same thing I do every year since…I was ten."

He smiled. "What is that?"

She sighed in content. "I wished for you."

His eyes widened. "Sammy?" Her breathing was deep. He knew she was fast asleep. "I wish for you every year too." He held her close to him and took in her scent. "You are the girl, Sammy. You're the one that's too good for me. You're the one I will always and will only love." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "One day, I want to have enough courage to tell you that. One day, I'll tell you that you are my soul mate." His eyes closed. "I love you too, Sammy." He fell asleep.

Andrew smiled at him. "That was…sweet." Sirius gave him a look. "What? It was sweet." He shrugged in response. "What happened?"

Sirius looked at him oddly. "What do you mean?"

He smiled. "What happened the next day? What happened when the two of you woke up?"

A wide smile appeared on his face. "I woke up first. She was on top of me. It was the best!" Andrew laughed in response. "She woke up and blushed. I told her happy birthday and she thanked me. It took her a few minutes for her to move off of me. I hated that part." Andrew smiled. "I told her that I enjoyed our…sleepover. She said she liked it too. I asked her if we could make it a part of our tradition. Sammy looked thrilled! She said that that would be fine. Then she asked what about my birthday."

"What about your birthday?"

Sirius smiled. "My birthday is in March and we are in school. It would be impossible for us to spend the night together but I told her that we would find a way to make it happen and she agreed." Andrew laughed. "Then Mum walked in."

His eyes widened. "What happened then?"

He blushed. "She was surprised as hell when she saw us lying in my bed together. She was surprised by how close we were but she also thought it was sweet that we fell asleep together after I explained what happened. She called Dad in to see how cute we looked together."

Andrew laughed. "No, she didn't!" Sirius laughed and nodded. "Then what happened?"

Sirius let out a nervous laugh. "To say he was mad would be an understatement."

"I bet!"

"Dad had this throbbing vein above his right eye when he walked in and saw us together in bed. Mum knew what that look meant and had Sam leave the room before he exploded. She stayed to make sure he didn't kill me."

He leaned forward in his seat. "What did he say to you?"

He laughed again. "Dad sat down next to me and told me to tell him what happened. I explained and he was silent. Mum told him that it was just an innocent accident. Dad blew up at her and told her about my sex dream and the repeated accidents of my unexpected erections." Andrew howled with laughter. "Mum…well…she was shocked again but told him that just because that happened didn't mean anything happened between Sam and me." He nodded in response. "Dad looked like he could crap kittens but accepted this. He left and Mum smiled at me." Sirius groaned. "I couldn't look at her. She asked me if what Dad said was true and I had to confirm it. You have no idea how embarrassing that was."

Andrew smirked. "I have an idea."

Sirius smiled. "Mum thought that it was cute. I was embarrassed as hell and she thought it was cute!" He groaned. "She told me that she wouldn't tell Sam about it since she didn't think Sam would understand and I was grateful for that." Andrew nodded. "The rest of the day was normal as could be. We celebrated Sam's birthday and had fun. Dad almost had a stroke whenever I hugged Sam. He nearly killed me when I kissed her cheek. He told me that he was going to watch me like a hawk whenever he was home and I was around Sam." Andrew laughed. "Dad cooled down a couple of days later but he still watched me like a hawk just in case until Sam went to visit her friends. Everything was fine when she came back and Dad was normal again."

He smiled. "That was a good story."

He shrugged. "Yes, it was."

Andrew looked at his watch and sighed. "Our session is over for tonight and I've got to say that I'm disappointed. I was really enjoying your memories."

"Don't worry. I have plenty more."

"That's good to know. I'll see you next time."

Sirius smiled and nodded. "Alright, I'll see you later."

"Sirius, I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Do you wish Sam was awake when you told her about your feelings?"

He smiled again. "Yes, I do. Who knows what would have happened if she was?"


	77. Chapter 76: In The Dark

Author's Note: Sorry. I didn't proof. FF . net is being a pain in my ass tonight. If there is something wrong with the chapter let me know and I'll fix it tomorrow. I hope you like this chapter. Until next time...

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Chapter 76: In The Dark.

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"_I know I've said that I was worried about jinxing things by not saying his name but I don't care! We are graduating in a month and getting married in three! Nothing can ruin what we have! I'm in love and nothing else matters to me! I'm in love with the most amazing man I've ever met! I'm going to be Mrs. Alexander Lewis!_"

Sam choked. She reread what her grandmother wrote. "_What the hell?_"

"_Alex is wonderful! He is the only one I want to be with forever! I have to go. Robert McKenzie, you know him as Romeo, is calling me over. We are studying together with Alex and Margie. I'll write more later!_"

Sam couldn't believe what she read. It didn't make any sense. Robert McKenzie was her grandfather but Kathleen was engaged to some guy named Alex Lewis. It didn't make any sense at all. She could have sworn that her grandpa was her grandma's soul mate.

"Hey Sam."

She looked up and sighed when she saw Michael. She pulled him into the seat next to her. He stared at her with wide eyes. "_I need to talk to you._"

Michael nodded slowly. "Ok, what do you need to talk to me about?" She took a deep breath. He held her hand. "What's wrong, Sammy?" She looked at the journal before looking at him. "Did you have another vision?" Sam shook her head. "Tell me what's wrong."

Sam sighed. "_I want you to read this entry and tell me if any of the names look familiar, ok?_"

He nodded slowly again. "Ok, I will." He read the entry she showed him and his eyes widened when he was done. "Ok…"

She stared at him closely. "_What is it? Did you recognize a name?"_

Michael shook his head. "I don't believe it."

"_What is it?_"

He blinked. "Alex Lewis…is my grandfather." Her shoulders slumped. "Your grandmother and my grandfather were engaged?" She nodded slowly. He looked at her in surprise. "He told me that my grandmother was the only one that…I don't understand."

Sam sighed in defeat. "_They were best friends with each other and with my grandfather when they were in school. They fell in love and were engaged. I don't know how or why they didn't get married._"

Michael shook his head. "I can't believe it." He looked at her. "I…he never mentioned your grandmother before. He never said anything."

"_Is he still alive?_" He nodded. "_He has never mentioned Kathleen Harrington before? He never mentioned Kathleen McKenzie at all?_"

"No, he didn't." She sighed. "Have you read anymore to see why they broke up?" She shook her head. "Are you going to continue to read to find out what happened between them?"

She looked at him. "_Yes, I am. I need to know what happened._"

He nodded. "Can I read with you?" She sighed. "Sam, I have to know what happened too. It's about my grandfather and your grandmother. We both deserve to know what happened."

Sam nodded slowly. "_Yes, you can read it with me._"

Michael smiled. "Thank you, Sam." She smiled. "Can we read it now?" She nodded. They sat next to each other and he looked at her. "Are you ready?" She shrugged. "I feel the same way." Sam laughed. "I guess we better get started." They read a bunch of entries that talked about the wedding plans, end of term exams, and plans before and after graduation before they found the entry they were looking for. "This is it." He muttered.

"_My heart is broken. I feel dead inside. I was wrong. Something did ruin my good luck. I jinxed my relationship with Alex. I can't feel a damn thing. How could I have been so stupid? How could I be so wrong about someone that I loved with all of my heart?_"

Sam and Michael shared a look. They had a feeling about what happened. They didn't want to continue but knew they had to. They needed to confirm what they thought.

"_We were at the graduation dance and Alex was drunk. He was sad about leaving here for good but he reassured me that he may have been sad about leaving but he was excited to start our lives together. Robert and I helped him to his room. He asked me if I was mad that he was drunk. I told him that I understood why he was sad because I was sad about leaving too. Alex told me he loved me. I kissed him and told him I loved him too before I ordered him to sleep it off._

_Robert and I went back to the dance. We danced for a while before I decided to check on Alex. I missed him and the dance wasn't the same without Alex around. He agreed to come with me. We went to his room and that's when my life ended. My whole world was shattered because I opened a fucking door!_"

Sam's hand shook as she turned the page. She knew what she was going to read. She knew what happened but she didn't want it to be true. She didn't want her grandma to go through the same pain with the love of her life like she did with Sirius. Michael glared at the ground. He didn't want it to be true. He didn't want his grandfather, the man he looked up to and trusted above everything, to be the creep. He didn't want his grandfather to be the jackass that broke Kathleen's heart.

"_We walked in and we both got the shock of our lives. Alex was shagging that slut! The love of my life, my fucking fiancé, was fucking Arabelle again!_"

Michael gasped. "He cheated on her with…Arabelle?" Sam nodded slowly. "She's…let's just finish reading." He muttered.

"_Arabelle smiled at me. That bitch smiled at me! Robert was just as shocked as I was. He was telling me at the dance how he wished Alex and I all the best. He sees how happy Alex and I are together and he told me that we would make it. Our love would last._

_Robert tried to push me out of the room but I wouldn't let him. Alex moved off of her and stared at me in surprise. He was surprised to see me. That son of a bitch looked as surprised as I felt! Alex said he could explain but I told him that it didn't matter. I told him it was over and threw my engagement ring at them. I ran out of the room and Robert followed._

_Alex hasn't come after me. It's obvious that he doesn't love me like he said he did. It's obvious that I was foolish to believe that someone like him could love someone like me. I just lost my soul mate. I lost the only man I've ever truly loved. I feel so numb. I feel so cold. We leave tomorrow to go home and I'm going to have to see him. I can't face him. I just know that…I don't know a damn thing anymore. I do know that I can't stop crying. I do know that my heart is broken and I do know that this pain won't stop._

_I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. He said I was the only one he would ever love. I was the only one in his heart. Why did he tell me all of that if he didn't mean it? Why did he propose if he never meant to marry me? Why was I stupid enough to forget the past we share and agree to be with him forever? I wish I never met him. I wish I never agreed to marry him. I wish I never fell in love with him…but most of all, I wish this never happened so we could be together._

_I'm hopeless. I'm pathetic. I'm heartbroken. I need to be alone. I'm going to stop writing now so I can cry some more before I finish packing. If I'm lucky, the ceiling will come crashing down on me and I will die so I don't have to feel the pain anymore. Wish me luck!_"

Michael took the journal out of her hands and closed it. Sam was staring at the ground. She didn't move or attempt to write down a response. He placed the journal on the bench where they were sitting. He sighed. He was still in denial. His grandfather used to be engaged to Sam's grandmother. Alex was Kathleen's soul mate and vice versa but Alex screwed up. He betrayed her and lost her as a consequence.

Things seemed different now. They didn't make any sense. He glanced at her. She still wasn't moving. Michael wasn't used to this new her. He expected her to fly off the handle but she didn't. He wanted to say something to her but couldn't think of a thing. There was nothing to say or to do. Nothing could change what happened. Michael heard her sigh and he looked at her. There wasn't an expression on her face. All she had was a blank look in her eye. His hand shook as he patted her hand. Sam looked up at him and nodded. She patted his hand too. They pulled their hands away and just sat side by side in the cold hallway as they thought about what they just read. They sat in silence and that was just what they preferred in that moment. There were no words to bring them comfort for this past pain. There was nothing to comfort them except the silence and that suited them just fine.

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They met at the same bench where they read the entry the day before. They nodded at each other before sitting down. After the long silence that fell between them after reading the infamous entry, they agreed to hold off reading until the next day so they could digest the information they discovered. Sam took the journal out of her bag and they stared at it for the longest time. "Did…?" She looked at him. He took a deep breath. "Did you read anymore of the journal?" She shook her head slowly. Michael nodded. "Ok, thank you for keeping your promise." Sam shrugged. He sighed. "Do you want to keep reading?" She shook her head before nodding. He let out a tiny laugh. "My thoughts exactly." Sam gave him a small smile. "Let's get this over with." Sam nodded. Michael smiled. "I'm sorry. I'm just anxious to see how my grandfather tries to get out of what he did."

"_I dreamt about Alex last night. We were at the wedding we planned. It was beautiful and he never looked so handsome. I never felt happier but then I woke up and the ache in my heart returned. I got up and dressed. I skipped breakfast. I knew I would see him and I wasn't ready. Margie and I walked down together. Robert tried helping the both of us with our trunks but he couldn't do it. He asked where Alex was so he could help his wife-to-be with her trunk. I know he didn't mean anything by it but it still hurt. He apologized. He said he wasn't thinking. I told him not to worry about it._

_We went down to the Great Hall and I saw him. Alex was staring at me. I had to look away. It hurt too much to look at him. When I looked back, Arabelle was kissing him. Robert and Margie led me away so I wouldn't have to look at them. Margie said she was lending me Robert so I could cry on my other best friend's shoulder. That made me laugh a little. Robert hugged me and said everything would work out. I wanted to believe him, and normally I would have, but I just couldn't. I was without my soul mate. I was without my Alex and I hated it._

_We boarded the train. I still didn't see him. Margie and Robert went to talk to our other friends. I decided to stay. I needed some time alone. There was a knock on the compartment door and I looked up. It was Alex. It was my Alex. He looked like shit. He asked if he could come in and sit down. I didn't say anything. Alex sat down next to me and touched my hand. I pulled away. I never saw him look so upset._

_Alex said he was sorry he hurt me. He said he was sorry he cheated on me. He told me that when I threw my engagement ring at him, he never felt more alone and heartbroken before in his life. I was starting to crack. Just a few moments alone with him and I was cracking. Alex reached into his pocket and took out my engagement ring. He asked me to forgive him. He asked me to love him again. I said I didn't know. It was too soon to tell him anything. Alex put the ring on my finger and said he made a mistake and just needed me to forgive him. He needed me and loved me. He would do anything to get me back. He begged me to marry him._

_I cracked. I kissed him. I told him I loved him. I would marry him…but I can't forgive him. I would need time for that. Alex agreed. He kissed me and kept telling me how sorry he was. He would never do it again. I asked him why he did it. I needed to know how…why he would want to throw away what we had. Why didn't he love me enough to stay true to me? Alex told me that he was sure he loved me. I was all he ever wanted. I asked him why he did it. He said he thought it was me. I slapped him and called him a lying jackass. I yelled at him for confusing me with that slut._

_Alex grabbed me by the arms when I told him to leave and that it was over. He begged me to listen. He told me that he was so drunk and he was dreaming of me when she walked in. Alex was dreaming of his Katie when Arabelle walked in and ruined things for us. He said he didn't realize it was her until Robert and I walked in. That's when he realized it wasn't me._

_I slapped him again and told him I couldn't believe he would lie to me like that. I couldn't believe that he mistook that slut for me. He kept apologizing and he begged me to forgive him. I told him that I couldn't forgive him after that horrible lie. I was ready to go back to him but I couldn't because of that stupid and ridiculous lie! He broke my heart and the trust we had. There is no way to get that back now._

_Alex kept grabbing at me. He kept begging me to rethink my decision but I told him that it was over. I wouldn't be changing my mind and he had to accept that. He told me that we belonged together and we were meant to be together. He asked me to marry him. I took off the ring and handed it over. Alex started to cry and said he loved me and only me. I told him I loved him but I couldn't go back to him. He said that we were supposed to leave for Egypt after the wedding. Plans change. There would be no wedding. There are no more plans for us anymore. We are over._

_Alex told me that he was leaving for Egypt for a year like schedule. He said he would write to me. He hoped that that would be enough time for me to forgive him. He made me promise to write to him. I did. He said he loved me and always would before he left. I cried. I had made the right decision but I regretted it. I lost him. My Alex was gone and my heart was broken again._"

Sam let the journal slip right through her fingers. The book fell to the ground without a second thought. Michael stared at her. Once again, she didn't try to respond and just looked at the ground. Her face was expressionless but he knew this particular entry affected her. He knew what happened on the train with Sarah and Sirius while Sam was at St. Mungo's. The whole school knew about what happened. Sarah made sure they knew. Michael wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how to. There was nothing to comfort her. This entry reminded her of what happened on that train ride. He knew that. He knew when they read about Alex cheating on Kathleen; Sam remembered when Sirius cheated on her with Sarah and how he threw his relationship with her in Sam's face every chance he got after they broke up. He wondered if she wanted to cry. He wanted to know what thoughts were running through her head at that moment but her face didn't betray her thoughts. She was a statue. Sam sat still and didn't bat an eye as she looked at the fallen book. Michael sighed. "Sam, are you ok?" She didn't move. She didn't acknowledge his presence at all. He touched her shoulder. She jumped and pulled away. He sighed again. "What are you thinking?" She shook her head and shrugged. "Are you thinking about…Sirius?" Sam looked at him out of the corner of her eye before nodding. Michael nodded slowly. "Sam, can you look at me?" She took a deep breath before looking his way. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She bit her lip. "_No, I don't._"

Michael sighed. "Can I say something?" Sam nodded slowly. "It would be too easy for me to try and manipulate you to forget about Sirius and come to me right now but I won't do it." She looked at him closely. "You have enough to deal with. You don't need anyone to try and…confuse you further." She nodded slowly. "Sirius has made a lot of mistakes but you've loved him no matter what he has done. The only person who can make you stop…is you." He gave her a small smile. "It's up to you to decide if you stay with him or if you don't." She looked away. "Sam, I know you are mad at him right now but I also know that you still love him. It's up to you to decide what to do." She sighed. "Don't…I can't tell you what to do but I do know one thing. Sirius is a…he is the biggest asshole I know." She let out a tiny smile. "But the asshole does love you." Sam looked at him in surprise. Michael shrugged. "It's true. The idiot loves you. He would do anything for you. You know this deep down." She sighed. He patted her hand. "Follow your heart, Sam. He may have hurt you but he does love you. Take your time to decide because in the end, all that matters is if you are happy. Don't give up on something just because your grandmother did. Think about what you want. If you want to stay with Sirius then do it but if you decide to cut your loses and move on then do it. Just let him know so he can be with you or so he can learn to move on. It's up to you to decide if he is worth it." Sam nodded slowly. "What do you have to say?"

Sam shrugged. "_I have no idea what to say._" He nodded slowly. "_I'll think about what you said. I'll think about the entries. I have a big decision to make and I need to be sure that it is the right decision._" He nodded again. "_This entry did bring back a lot of painful memories that I wish I could forget but I have to deal with them._" Michael eyed her closely. "_I just need some time…away from Sirius to figure everything out. I don't think I can be around him. This…entry just…I just need time._"

He nodded. "I understand. You take all the time you need and make the right decision." She smiled. "You know if you need me that I'll be here for you."

She smiled again. "_I know, Michael. I appreciate your friendship._"

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Alan eyed her closely. "Are you sure about this?" Sam nodded. "This might take a few sessions. You do realize that, don't you?" She nodded again. "Sam, why did you choose him?" She sighed and handed him a note that explained everything. He read the note and sighed. "This is about the journal?" She shrugged. "I'm going to ask again. Are you sure about this?"

Sam nodded. "_Yes, I am. He is the right choice._"

He leaned against the desk and nodded. "I see." She looked around the room awkwardly. "Sam…have you forgiven Sirius for cheating on you?" Sam shook her head. "Have you forgiven him for throwing his relationship with Sarah in your face after he broke up with you?" She shook her head again. He sighed. "Have you forgiven him for his part in the attack? Have you forgiven him for waiting to tell you the truth until your wedding night?" Sam gave him a look. He let out a tiny laugh. "No, I didn't think so." He rubbed his eyes. "Once we start…this means that you will need to stay away from Sirius until we are done." She nodded and shrugged. "Sam, do you realize what you are agreeing to? You will have to stop spending so much time with him. You will have to spend some time together but you can't spend every waking moment with him like you have been." She nodded again. "Ok, we can begin. Are you ready?"

She nodded again. "_Yes, I am._"

Alan walked over and helped her put the gloves on. He smiled at her. "Let's begin." She stared at the punching bag closely when it took the form of Sirius. He stared at her while she looked at the bag. He held in a laugh. No matter what she said, he knew it would take a miracle for her to get over Sirius. Sam loved him more than she knew or would admit. This would take a lot longer than he planned. "Sam, I want you to close your eyes and think of your husband as the eleven year old boy you met." Sam took a deep breath before closing her eyes. A small smile found its way on to her face when she remembered first seeing Sirius. He seemed so tall and sure of himself. He seemed so brave and her heart skipped a beat. He smiled. "Sam, do you have his image in your mind?" She nodded quickly. His smile grew. "You are falling for him again, aren't you?" Her eyes flew open and stared at him. His eyebrow rose. "Did I tell you to open your eyes?" Sam glared at him before closing her eyes again. Alan waved his hands in front of her face before sighing. "Sirius is cute, isn't he?" A smile tugged at her lips. "This is the first time you are meeting your soul mate and he is more than you expected. He is more than your dreams gave him credit for." She bit her lip. "Sirius is more than just that cute boy you saw in your dream. He is flesh and bone. He challenges you in ways you never thought possible. He makes you smile and laugh. He makes you react like no one else can. He brings a fire and passion alive in you that you've never experienced before." She let out a tiny laugh. He smiled. "Sirius is smart. He is sweet. He cares about you. He loves you in a way that no one else could. He loves you in a way that no one could even imagine. Sirius would do anything for you. He would die for you. He loves you like you love him. He is your soul mate and you are his." A tear slipped down her cheek. "Open your eyes." Her eyes opened slowly. Alan smiled at her. "Now, tell me if you are really sure that you want to do this. Are you really sure you want to try and get over him?"

Sam wiped her eyes. She took off one of the gloves with his help and began to write. "_I love him, Alan._" He nodded slowly. "_I know I always will but I need to get over the past. I don't know if this will make me get over him. I do know that this will help me get over the past. If it does make me get over him then that is something I will have to deal with._" He stared at her. "_I need to get over the past so I can look at him without mixed emotions. This will help._"

He smiled. "That was a very mature response." She shrugged. "But I don't know if I believe you." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You do need to get over his past actions and this will help." She nodded. "We will start now."

She smiled. "_Thank you, Alan._"

Alan stood off to the side and watched her. "Sirius has hurt you a lot in the past. He told you he thought of you as a sister. He never thought of you as anything more than that. You were nothing more to him than James' annoying little sister who follows him around." She stared at him in confusion. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Sam shrugged. "_There is nothing wrong._" He nodded slowly. "_It's just Sirius never said that to me. He never made me feel bad for having a crush on him. He never embarrassed me about my feelings for him. He was very sweet about it actually._"

He smiled. "Is that a fact?" She smiled as she rolled her eyes. His smile grew. "Ok, he didn't say that to you. He did give you false hope and made you think he wanted you before ditching you for his flavor of the week, did he not?" Sam sighed and nodded. "He grew tired of your feelings for him after some time. He yelled at you when he thought you were following him around." She shrugged. He sighed. "What is it now?"

"_You can't really blame him for that. I was obsessed with him and he was a good sport about it for a long time._"

Alan laughed. "This is going to take a lot longer if you keep defending him and his actions." She shrugged again. "Fine. Let's jump right into it then." She looked at him curiously. "He tried and succeeded in sabotaging your relationship with Remus. Sirius attempted to ruin something good in your life because he couldn't stand the fact that you were happy with someone else and that you stopped being happy fawning over him." Sam gave the bag a weak punch. Alan groaned. "This is definitely going to take a lot longer than I originally thought."

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* * *

Sirius smiled when he saw her walk through the door. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed the side of her neck. Sam closed her eyes and sighed. His smile grew as he tightened his hold on her. "How was your session, love?" Sam took a deep breath before pulling away. She turned around and stared at him closely. He looked at her in confusion with a smile. "Are you alright? Did you have a bad session?" She shook her head slowly. Sirius rubbed her arms and continued to smile. "What's wrong, Baby? You seem…off." She had a pained look on her face. She looked down at the ground. He gulped. "What…is…did I do something wrong?" Her chin trembled as she tried to walk away. "Baby, don't go. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." She shook her head again. A pained look appeared on his face. "Sammy…I'm scared." She looked at him. "Why does it feel like you are pulling away from me again?" Sam bit her lip. "Please, tell me what I did so I can make things better between us."

Sam sighed. "_There is nothing you can do._"

He grabbed her by the hand. "So, I did do something." She wouldn't look at him. "Sammy, please, tell me what I did this time. I need to know." She shook her head. "I just got you back but you are pulling away again. Why are you pulling away from me?"

She shook her head. "_You…I have to go get ready for my run._"

Sirius watched as she walked away. "What did I do now?"

James stood up and stopped her from leaving. "Sammy, are you alright?" Sam stared at him. She wanted to tell him all about what happened in her session and about what she read in their grandmother's journal but she couldn't. A part of her was holding back. He touched her hand. He saw the exchange between Sirius and Sam. He wanted to know why she was pulling away from her husband again. "What's going on?" She pulled away before walking up the stairs. He blinked in surprise. He didn't understand what was going on. James walked over to a crushed looking Sirius and sighed. "What happened?"

He shrugged. "I wish I knew. I do know that I did something to upset her but she wouldn't tell me what it was. She said there was nothing I could do before walking away."

He nodded slowly. "What did you do this time?"

Sirius shrugged again. "I have no idea." James sighed. "I know what I've done before but she was getting…she still stayed with me…around me. I don't know what I did this time though."

James sighed again. "I don't know either. She didn't tell me a thing. She just stared at me before walking away." Sirius sighed in defeat. "We'll find out sooner or later. Things will get better."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know. You just have to believe it will."

* * *

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* * *

Andrew looked at him while he was slumped in his chair. He sighed. "Sirius, what's wrong?" Sirius shrugged in response. "Come on. You can tell me. This is a safe place. You can and have told me anything."

Sirius sat up in his chair and sighed. "I'm losing her. I'm losing her all over again…and I can't take it."

He looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean? How are you losing her?"

He shrugged. "I'll be damned if I know."

"Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what's going on?"

"She had been acting weird for two days but I just chalked it up to hormones or whatever." Andrew rolled his eyes. "Sam had a session with Alan last night and when she came back…she was acting weird."

Andrew sighed. "What do you mean?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "I hugged her and asked how her session went. It's this new thing we are trying." Andrew nodded slowly. "Sammy pulled away and looked at me…with hurt. It was like I hurt her in some way."

"Did you?"

He groaned. "I don't know! She wouldn't tell me! I asked her what I did and told her to tell me so I could make things better but she said there was nothing I could do and walked away." He sighed in defeat. "She ignored me today. She looked at me with…such anger and walked away. I don't know what I did."

He nodded slowly again. "Tell me what happened today. Maybe we can find a clue."

Sirius walked into the Great Hall and sighed when he saw her. He watched her as she played with her food. He took a deep breath and walked over. She looked at him and sighed before going back to playing with her food. He sighed. "You can't even look at me, can you?" Her grip on her fork tightened. He grabbed her hand. "Baby, please, look at me." She wouldn't look at him. "Sammy, I'm begging you to look at me. I…" His voice cracked. She turned her head and glanced at him. He squeezed her hand. "I need you to tell me what I did wrong this time." Sam pulled her hand away. "I love you, Sammy. I need to know what I did wrong so I can fix this." She sighed. He smiled. "I love you. I need you. Tell me what I did that was so wrong."

Sam stood up. "_Sirius…_"

He shook his head. "No, I know what you are going to say and I won't let you." She looked at him in confusion. "You are going to tell me that there is nothing I can do but you are wrong. I know I can make this better if you just tell me what's going on. Just let me in." A pained look appeared on her face. "We were doing so good, Sammy. Weren't we?" She nodded slowly. "We were getting closer. We were getting back on track and I don't want that to stop. Please, talk to me."

She sighed. "_I have to go._"

Sirius watched her walk to the door. He followed her. She tried to move around him when he stood in front of her. "I'm not letting you go. I need to know why you are upset. I need you to talk to me."

Sam sighed again. "_Sirius, please, let me go._"

He caressed her cheek. "Baby, stop pulling away from me." He knew she was starting to crack. He could see it. He could sense it. He put his arms around her cautiously. "I love you. Do you love me?" She bit her lip and nodded slowly. He smiled. "Do you miss me?" Sam nodded again. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

She scribbled down a note. "_I thought you stopped loving me. I thought that since we couldn't be together…I thought you wanted someone else._"

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Don't you know how much I love you? Don't you know that if we can't…be together that I will wait until we can? You are the only one for me, Sammy. If I have to wait to be with you again, I will."

"_Do you mean that?_"

"Of course I do! You are it for me. I know waiting will be hard but I will do it." She smiled. He kissed her. "Spend the day with me." She nodded. "We can spend the day…in my room." She blushed. He grabbed her hand. "It's settled then! Let's go!"

They ran up to his room and sat down on the bed. "_Sirius, I'm sorry._"

Sirius smiled and kissed her. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You had a moment of doubt and freaked out. It's ok. I understand." They laid down. He caressed her cheek. "You never have to worry, Samantha. You are the only one in my heart." She smiled and kissed him. "I just want you to talk to me when you start to have doubts about us. I don't want us to have…I don't want there to be any problems between us."

Sam snuggled closer to him. "_I promise I will talk to you._" He smiled when she kissed him. "_I don't want us to have any problems either._"

He smiled again. "I'm glad to hear it." He kissed her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He rolled on top of her. "I've missed you." She smiled. Sirius nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "I've missed this."

She pushed him. "_Sirius, you have to move!_"

His eyes widened. "What's wrong?"

Her eyes narrowed. "_Get off of me!_"

Sirius blinked. He was still in the Great Hall. His arms were wrapped her body and he was trying to kiss her. Sam was staring at him like he was crazy as she swatted at him. He was confused. "Sammy, what's going on?" She sighed. He put his arms down at his side. "Baby, will you talk to me? Will you tell me what I did wrong?" She bit her lip. "I want you to talk to me."

He jumped when he felt a pinch on his bum. They turned their heads and saw Sarah smiling at him. She winked. He groaned. "How's it going, Baby?"

He rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, Sarah." He turned to look at Sam. She was glaring at him and he felt cold inside. "Sammy, I swear, I'm through with her!" Sam sneered and pushed him away from her when he tried to hug her. She stalked out of the room and he groaned. "What the hell did I do?"

Andrew stared at him. "Which part of that was real?"

Sirius sighed in defeat. "Everything before and after my stupid daydream. She never cracked. She just pushed me and walked away. She hasn't let me try and talk to her since." He looked at him. "I honestly have no idea what I did. If she would just tell me then maybe I could do something. Maybe I could fix it but she won't even come near me."

He shook his head and sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, Sirius." He looked down at the ground and sighed in defeat again. He smiled. "You mentioned Sarah and Sam's reaction to her." Sirius groaned in response. "Has Sam acted that way about Sarah before since she has come back?" Sirius thought about it. He shrugged and shook his head slowly. "Maybe Sarah has something to do with it."

He looked at him closely. "What are you talking about? I broke up with Sarah. Except for her attacking me in the hall, I haven't spoken to Sarah since."

Andrew shrugged. "I don't know, Sirius." He groaned again. "You did say that Sam told you that she never got over you cheating on her. Maybe this…maybe her ignoring you and her reaction to Sarah pinching your bum is connected."

Sirius' shoulders slumped. "I'm going to be paying for that mistake for the rest of my life, aren't I?" Andrew shrugged again. "I regret cheating on Sam. She knows that. I told her so. Why does she still have a problem with it?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sirius, you broke the girl's heart! You humiliated her! You threw your relationship with Sarah in her face every chance you got! Of course she still has a problem with it!"

He glared at him. "I know what I've done! I'm not proud of it! If I could take it back, I would! I love Sam and…" He had a pained look on his face. "I love Sam and would do anything to get her back. She is all I've ever wanted and…I can't lose her again."

Andrew nodded. "I see." Sirius stared at him. "It's going to take some time to get her back but you can. I know you can. Sam still loves you. It would take a miracle to make her stop." Sirius smiled slightly. "Let's go back to discussing your memories. Maybe it will help you figure out a way to get her back." He shrugged. "Ok, what memory would you like to tell me about now?"

Sirius shrugged. "We went back to school and Sam was still obsessed with me. She would follow me around and she still blushed when I talked to her. It was…flattering but I wanted her to get past that. I wanted her to look at me like a person and not as just a crush. We both knew what we had and what we were feeling was more than just a crush. I just needed her to…I needed her to realize that we were more than what she thought." Andrew nodded slowly. "I did get annoyed that she would follow me around but not because of her…_stalking_ me." Andrew laughed. "I got annoyed that after all the time we've spent together and all of the progress we made; she still had some trouble talking to me." He sighed. "Things changed in December. Sammy was able to talk to me without a problem."

He looked at him closely. "What do you mean? How did things change?"

He sighed again. "She…kissed Remus. She started developing feelings for him." Andrew continued to stare at him. "Sammy was able to talk to me after that. We had some really great conversations that we wouldn't have had."

"So, her crush on Remus was a good thing?"

"It was a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because we were talking and becoming closer as friends but it was a curse because…it meant that I wasn't number one in her heart anymore. I wasn't the one she wanted to be with…well…not as much as usual."

Andrew nodded. "I see." Sirius shrugged. "When you found out about her feelings for your other best friend, how did you feel? How did you react?"

Sirius sighed. "I felt…shocked. I was shocked as shit. I didn't do or say anything because I didn't know what to say or do. I was angry because she was interested in someone that wasn't me. I was jealous because she had her first kiss with someone else. I was jealous because she kissed someone else and looked at someone else like she used to look at me."

"That's where you are wrong."

He looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He smiled. "Sam may have had a crush on Remus and she may have loved him but there is no way she looked at him the way she looks at you." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm being honest! I was at the Christmas ball, remember?" He nodded slowly. "I saw her interact with everyone. She…when she was dancing with Remus, before their fight and the attack, she was staring at him like she loved him but when she was dancing and interacting with you…"

His eyes widened. "What? How was she different with me?"

Andrew smiled. "Sam was looking at you like you were the only one in the room." He shook his head in response. Andrew laughed. "Sirius, believe me, she was! Sam was still mad at you during that time but she was staring at you like you were the only one beside her. She still looks at you like that." Sirius had a small smile on his face. "She has a lot of reasons to hate you." He nodded in agreement. "She does still hate you but as much as she hates you, she loves you even more. When the two of you walked into each of your marriage counseling sessions, she kept looking at you in the way…she looks at you like how, I'm guessing, she looked at you when the two of you first met."

Sirius sighed. "Are you sure?"

He smiled. "Does she still take care of you? Does she still try to comfort you? Does she still try to support you in any way she can?" A smile tugged at Sirius' lips as he nodded. Andrew's smile grew. "So, you see, she still loves you. She always will."

His smile grew. "Thank you for that."

Andrew shrugged. "You needed to hear the truth." Sirius continued to smile. "Now, what memory would you like to tell me?"

Sirius shrugged. "What would you like me to tell you?"

"Anything you want."

He thought for a moment before speaking. "Remus and I found out about her crush on him. He broke his date with her because…well…because he was an idiot." Andrew laughed. "At the ball, I kissed Sam. We were dancing and she looked so…good. I couldn't stop myself." Andrew smiled and nodded. "As you know, Sam and I had a misunderstanding later that night."

"I have a question." Sirius looked at him. "How did you react when she told you that she was going to the ball with Michael?"

He groaned. "I was pissed as hell!" He looked at him in amusement. "I couldn't believe she agreed to go out with that prat! He is such a waste of air!" Andrew's eyes widened. "He has always tried to get with her and hog her attention. Sammy doesn't see it. She thinks they are just friends but it is so obvious that he is trying to work one over on her!" Sirius ran a hand over his face. "I hate that bastard! He doesn't deserve her."

Andrew blinked in surprise. "Ok…keep going with your story."

Sirius nodded. "Sam stopped talking to me and Remus. That was hell." He nodded in response. "She spent all of her time with Michael and her friends. I never wanted to punch or hex someone more than him in my life! Not even Snape!" He let out a tiny laugh. "Ok, they are tied." Andrew smiled. "Anyway, it was torture. I know I was a dick to her but I don't think I deserved to be cut out of her life like that."

He nodded. "That is true."

He shrugged. "Well, she did and I hated it." Andrew smiled. "Anyway, she went away with the annoyance, Michael, and his family."

"Who is 'the annoyance'?"

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "The annoyance is the only nice nickname I have for Sam's friend Lilac. She is the most annoying bitch I know! She is always in everyone's business and she doesn't know when to shut the fuck up!"

Andrew laughed. "That's good to know. You may continue."

He nodded. "Remus came to spend the summer with me and James at our house. James and our parents were the only ones to hear from Sam. I knew she must have still been mad at me. It was her birthday and she was still in Paris…snogging _Patrick_. I decided to write to her. I wished her a happy birthday and asked if we could continue with our tradition when she returned." Sirius had a big smile on his face. "I got a reply from her a few days later. She thanked me for remembering her birthday, she said she hoped that I was having fun with James and Remus…and she responded to my question. She said yes. Sam wanted to continue with our tradition." Andrew smiled. "I was so happy and excited when I got her letter. I never thought I could be so happy just to receive a letter from her but I was."

He smiled again. "Tell me about your reaction when you saw Sam again."

Sirius became giddy. "You could have knocked me over with a feather!" Andrew laughed. "She was always beautiful but when I saw her…damn! Sammy grew up nice!" He laughed again. "She was taller, slimmer, and had a great tan." Sirius smirked. "Plus, her breasts grew! She had these tiny bite size things the last time I saw her but when she came back…wow! They grew a lot!" Andrew shook with laughter. "Sam didn't buy new clothes so they were tight on her when she came home. I never loved her clothes more than at that moment." He smirked again. "I was _really_ happy to see her again."

Andrew continued to laugh. "I bet you were." Sirius smiled and nodded. "Sam told me that you and Remus started acting weird around her after she returned from Paris. Why don't you tell me about that?"

Sirius sat next to Remus in the living room. They were hanging out with James and Sam. Things were as normal as could be until Sam stood up and stretched. Her tank top rose and exposed her stomach. She put her arms behind her back and stretched again. Her chest stuck out and the boys gulped as they watched her closely. James glared at them. Sam adjusted her shorts and smiled at them. Sirius and Remus gulped again. She started to fix her hair and groaned when her clip fell to the ground. She bent over and they leaned forward to look. James' eyes narrowed. He was getting annoyed with how they were looking at his little sister. It was only her first day back and they kept ogling her. He didn't understand it. They were acting so weird and he couldn't take it. Sam stood up and smiled again. Sirius knocked over the morning paper and smiled at her. "Could you pick that up for me, Sammy?" She smiled and nodded. She leaned forward and they smiled when they were able to look down her shirt. James held in a growl. Sam handed Sirius the paper. His smile grew. "Thank you, Sammy."

Sam shrugged. "It was nothing, Sirius."

Sirius smirked. "It was something to me, Sammy."

Her eyebrows furrowed together and she smiled in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

He held in a laugh and shook his head. "It didn't mean anything."

She nodded slowly. "Alright, if you say so." He smiled. "It's so hot." She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and the boys gulped. "I'm going to get a drink. Does anyone want anything?"

They shook their heads and watched her walk out of the room. James sneered at them. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Why are you looking at Sammy like that?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "We are…just surprised by how different she looks."

James looked at him like he was crazy. "What are you talking about? She looks the same. She is just the same old Sammy."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Are you blind, Prongs? She's changed! She is taller, tanner, slimmer, and she has-!" James glared at him. Sirius gulped. "And she has…grown taller."

His eyes narrowed. "You said that already."

He gave him a nervous smile. "It's…uh…something that had to be said twice."

Sam walked back in with a glass of water. She set down the glass and smiled at them. "That made me feel a lot better." Sirius and Remus licked their lips as they watched her sprinkle water over her neck and the top of her chest. James rolled his eyes. She stopped and stared at them. They were staring at her chest with funny expressions on their faces. She looked down to see what they were looking at but didn't see a thing. "Do I have something on my shirt?" They looked at her in confusion. "Why are you staring at my shirt? Did I spill something on it?"

Remus gulped when she started to wipe her chest. "I-I…you…uh…didn't."

Her eyebrow rose. "Then why are you staring?" They looked back at her chest. She looked at them oddly. "Are you two…drooling?"

They wiped their mouths. Sirius tore his eyes away from her chest and glanced at her legs before looking at her eyes. "It's nothing, Sammy." She nodded slowly. He stood up and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her shoulders. "Did you miss us, Sammy?"

Sam smiled and put her head on his shoulder. His heart raced. All the blood was leaving his head. "You know I did, Sirius. Paris wasn't the same without all of you." He put her in a headlock and she laughed. "Sirius, let me go!" He let her go and started tickling her. She continued to laugh. "Stop it! Sirius, you know I'm ticklish!"

He smirked. "I know! That's why I'm doing it!" Sam was squirming. Remus watched with envy while James gritted his teeth. He pulled her to him. She was on his lap and moving around. He had to bite his lip. They started to wrestle and fell to the floor. Sirius smiled as he rested on top of her. Sam started laughing when he moved her legs and had them wrapped around his waist. He tickled the back of her knees. She swatted at his hands. He held her down by her chest and her eyes widened in shock. She jumped and tried to push his hands off of her. He looked at her with concern. "Sammy, what's wrong?"

She blushed. "Y-Your hands are on me." He laughed and moved his hands around. She gasped. "Sirius, stop it!"

Sirius stared at her in confusion and sat up with her legs still around him. "What's wrong? What am I doing?"

Sam rested on her elbows. "You can't…put your hands…on my chest."

His face scrunched up in confusion. "That's how I usually hold you down during our wrestling matches. Why does it have to stop now?"

Her blush grew. "Don't make me say it, Sirius." Remus stared at him in amazement. Sirius was playing her like a fiddle. James rolled his eyes. Sirius kept staring at her. She sat up and whispered in his ear. "In case you haven't noticed, I have breasts now." He laughed. She pulled back. "What? I do!"

He looked down at her chest and shook his head. "No, I don't see it." Remus shook his head in disbelief. James stood up and slapped Sirius upside his head. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I noticed, Sammy. How could I not?" Her eyes widened. He kissed her cheek and smiled. "I just forgot. I'm not used to…them yet." She blushed and smiled. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

She smiled as she pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. "You didn't really." He smiled. She pinched his arm. He winced. "Just stop doing it."

Sirius laughed and hugged her tightly. They fell back onto the floor. Sirius looked up and winked at Remus. He laughed in response. Sam wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I'll only do it when…" She eyed him closely. "You finally give me permission."

Sam blushed and rolled her eyes. "You wish that happens."

"You have no idea."

James growled when he saw Sirius lean in. "That's enough, you two!" They looked up at him. "Let's go outside. It's too hot in here." He pushed him off of her and helped his sister up. "Come on, Sammy. You've done enough wrestling for today."

She nodded and shrugged. "Ok, whatever you say, James."

Remus stood and bumped shoulders with Sirius. They shared a smile before he went to walk next to James. "So, what are we going to do?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to talk with him. She turned to him and smiled. He hugged her. "Are…are we still on for tonight?"

She looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Sirius sighed. "We…our tradition…we made plans to continue our tradition tonight." She nodded slowly. "Are we…on for tonight?"

Sam winked at him. "I knew what you were talking about." He laughed and shook his head in disbelief. "Do you still want to?" He nodded eagerly. She smiled. "Ok, we will continue our tradition tonight."

He hugged her again and kissed her cheek. "Are you sleeping with me again?" Her eyes widened as she choked. He laughed. "Are you spending the night with me like you did last year?"

She blushed. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes, it is."

"I have a boyfriend now. I don't think Patrick would like it."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "He doesn't have to know. No one has to know. Remember, we agreed to keep it a secret so your dad and James won't get upset, right?" She nodded. "Will you?"

Sam smiled shyly. "I will."

He kissed the corner of her mouth. She bit her lip. "Thank you, Sammy."

She smiled again. "Your welcome, Sirius."

"Come on, you two!" James yelled.

He grabbed her hand and smiled. "We better get going."

She nodded while she stared at him closely. "Yes, we should."

Sirius put his arm around her. "I'm looking forward to tonight."

Sam put her head on his shoulder and her arm around his waist. She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you are." She smiled at him. "So am I."

Andrew laughed. "You are unbelievable!"

He looked at him oddly. "What do you mean?"

"I think you know."

"Yes, I do."

Andrew laughed again. "You and Remus were…completely obvious about staring at her." Sirius nodded and shrugged. "How didn't she notice or know what you two were doing?"

Sirius shrugged again. "I don't know really. I guess it was because she never expected us to look at her in any other way than as James' sister. Our views of her changed completely when she came back from Paris." He smiled. "Sammy was always too innocent for her own good."

He nodded. "Yes, it seems she was." Sirius sighed. "How did James act with the two of you when you kept staring at her like that?"

He laughed. "James was annoyed. He watched us like a hawk. He pulled us away from her if we were too close or stared for too long. He was livid after the wrestling match I told you about. He didn't understand why we were acting so weird around her. He still saw her as his ten year old little sister with pigtails while we saw her as…hot."

Andrew smiled. "Tell me about later that night when you continued your tradition with her."

Sirius paced on his balcony while he waited for her. Sam was running late. He knew it would be easy enough for him to go see what was taking her but he didn't want to run the risk of bumping into anyone. Then he would be forced to explain why he was looking for her at such a late hour. He rested his hands on the railing and leaned on his arms as he sighed. Sirius was starting to wonder if she was going to show like she promised she would. He looked at the sky and sighed again. "Where are you, Sammy?"

Sam eased through his window and was behind him. She stopped at his question and smiled. "I'm right here, Sirius."

He jumped and turned around. "Sammy, you…you surprised me."

She smiled. "I see that."

"I-I wasn't sure if you were coming."

"I'm sorry about that. I wasn't planning on being late. Mama wanted to discuss our shopping trip tomorrow. For some reason, she thinks I need new clothes." He hid his smile. "Then I had to wait until everyone went to bed. I ran into Remus in the hall. We got into a discussion about this book we read." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He should have known that Remus would delay her in some way. She stood next to him and leaned against the railing and smiled at him. "I'm sorry about being late."

Sirius placed his hand on hers and rubbed it gently. He smiled. "It's ok. I'm just glad that you are here with me now."

Sam smiled. "So am I."

He moved closer to her. "Are you ready to make your wish?"

She shook her head. "I can't make a wish. It's not my birthday."

He caressed her cheek. "Did you make a wish on your birthday?" She shook her head again. He smiled. "Then you are still able to make a wish."

Sam closed her eyes after picking out a star and sighed. She was surprised when he hugged her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder. Her eyes were closed shut and she wished as hard as she could. She smiled when she was finished. "I'm done."

Sirius tightened his hold on her. "What did you wish for, Sammy?"

She laughed. "That is a secret. I can't tell you. If I do, it won't come true."

He smiled against her neck. "That's unfair but I understand." She turned around in his arms and his breath caught in his throat. She was close enough to kiss and he grew excited at the thought. "Sammy, can I…do you…?"

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Are you alright, Sirius? You seem nervous."

Sirius let out a nervous laugh. "I-I'm not nervous, Sammy. There's no reason why I should be, right?" She nodded. "Would you like to kiss now?"

Sam choked. "What…what did you just say, Sirius?"

His eyes widened. "I-I asked if you were ready to dance now."

She nodded slowly. "Yes, I am."

He smiled at her. "What did you think I said?"

She blushed. "I-I thought…" She laughed and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I must have misheard you. There is no way you could have said that to me of all people."

His smile grew. "Come on, Sammy. Tell me." She shook her head again. "You know you can tell me anything."

Her blush grew. "I thought you asked me if…I was ready to kiss you." He shrugged and kissed her. Her eyes were as wide as saucers. "W-What did you just do?" He smiled before kissing her again. She looked at him in confusion. "Why did you just do that…twice?"

Sirius licked his lips. "You said you wanted me to kiss you. I forgot to buy you a present so that seemed to be the next best thing."

Sam stared at him in confusion. "I-I didn't say that. You said…" She sighed. "I'm losing my mind." He smiled. "Why did you kiss me the second time then?"

He smiled again. "You asked me what I just did. I thought I had to repeat myself for you to understand."

She blinked in confusion. "I see."

He caressed her cheek. "That was fun." She blushed. "Would you like to dance now?"

She nodded. "Yes, I would love to kiss you." He smirked before kissing her. She gulped. "I-I meant…I would love to dance with you."

They stood in the middle of the balcony and looked at each other closely. Sirius took a deep breath. "Sammy, can I tell you something?" She nodded. He put his arms around her waist and smiled when she put her arms around his neck. "I really missed you."

They moved closer to each other as they swayed. "I wasn't gone that long, Sirius." He sighed. "You could have written to me."

Sirius glared at her. "You didn't write to me either."

Sam sighed. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me."

He smiled. "Of course I wanted to hear from you. I always want to hear from you, Sammy."

She smiled in surprise. "Do you mean that?"

His smile grew. "Yes, I do. Why did you think I wouldn't want to hear from you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess with the way I acted…cutting you out of my life and not speaking to you for all that time…I just wasn't sure if you wanted me to write to you."

Sirius looked at her in surprise. "You regret not speaking to me?"

Sam smiled. "Of course I do." He smiled. "Sirius, you are a big part of my life. You are my brother's best friend, my parents have practically adopted you, and…"

"And what?"

"And you are one of the greatest friends I have. I know that my crush got in our way to be closer but now that I'm with Patrick, I know we can be closer."

He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I'd love that too, Sammy. I'd love to be closer to you."

She smiled. "I'm glad we are talking again." He smiled. "I missed you while I was in Paris too."

He shook his head. "I didn't mean that." She looked at him in confusion. "I did miss you while you were in Paris but I meant that I missed you while we weren't speaking." She looked surprised. "Sammy, I don't want that to happen again. You mean too much to me and I don't want to lose you…ever."

She kissed his cheek. "You could never lose me, Sirius." He smiled. "You mean a lot to me too."

"I was afraid that you wouldn't come tonight."

"I promised you I would and I don't like to break my promises."

Sirius smiled. "I'm glad to hear it."

Sam caressed his cheek. "Plus, we've never missed our dance. Don't you remember Christmas, New Year's, and your birthday?"

His smile grew. "How could I forget?"

She blushed. "No matter what happens between us or what is going on, we will never stop our tradition."

They pulled apart. Sirius licked his lips. "Are you ready to go to bed?" She nodded. He held her hand and helped her through the window. "I'm glad you are sleeping with me."

They got into his bed. Sam blushed. "You should rephrase that." He looked at her in confusion. Her blush grew. "It sounds like you are talking about…"

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "What does it sound like?" She continued to blush. He laughed. "Oh, it sounds like I'm talking about sex!" She nodded in embarrassment. He smiled. "There is nothing wrong with sex, Sammy. There is nothing wrong with talking about it."

Sam looked at him in surprise. "Have…have you had…sex, Sirius?" His eyes widened as he shook his head. She sighed in relief. "Oh…ok, that's good to know."

He looked at her closely. "H-Have you had sex?"

She shook her head eagerly. "Of course I haven't! I can barely say that word." He sighed in relief. "I haven't done anything…except kiss."

"You haven't had sex with…what's his face?"

"No way! Patrick and I haven't been together all that long. Plus, I'm not ready for that yet."

Sirius was relieved. "Do…do you want to have sex?"

Sam looked at him incredulously. "D-Do you mean right now?"

He gulped. "No…no, I-I…why? Do you want to…have sex right now?"

She let out a nervous laugh. "No, I'm ok." He nodded slowly. "Plus, even if I did want to, I wouldn't ask you."

He looked at her in surprise. "Why the hell not?" She looked at him in surprise. "I'm completely offended! I'm just as good as anyone else! I'm better than that prat you are dating!"

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius…Patrick is not a prat! He is a good guy that cares about me!" He sneered. She pushed his shoulder. "That's not the point!"

"That's right! The point is…why wouldn't you ask me for sex?"

"I'm not asking anyone for sex! I'm not ready to have sex!"

Sirius pulled her onto his lap. She stared at him in surprise. He made her straddle his hips and stopped her when she tried to move off of him. "What's so wrong with me?" Her head cocked to the side. "Why wouldn't you want to sleep with me?"

Sam laughed. "I'd love to sleep with you!" He smirked. She gasped. "I-I…I didn't mean it like that."

He continued to smirk. "How did you mean it then?"

She blushed. "I…we…you and me…it…I would love it if we were together but that will never happen."

He placed his hands on her hips. "If you wanted to have sex, why wouldn't you come to me?"

She bit her lip. "It would be embarrassing as hell to ask you about that." He nodded. "And you wouldn't do it."

He looked at her oddly. "Of course I would do it!" She choked. "If…you wanted me to be your first, I would agree to sleep with you."

"Y-You would?"

"Yes, I would. You would know I wouldn't try to hurt you and I'd be gentle with you. We would be comfortable with each other. We wouldn't be too nervous because we are great friends."

"That is true. You are the only boy I'm comfortable sleeping with."

Sirius rubbed her neck. "You're comfortable sleeping with me?" She nodded. "I'm glad to hear it."

Sam kissed his cheek. Sirius moved his head and kissed her lips. They pulled away for a brief moment before kissing again. His tongue slid into her mouth and he tightened his hold on her. She pulled away and stared at him with wide eyes. "What…what was that?"

He smiled. "It was a kiss." She nodded slowly. He kissed her again. "That was a great kiss."

She blushed. "Yes…yes, it was."

Sirius smiled brightly when she hugged him. "I'm glad you liked it." She laughed into his neck. He held her tight to him. "Can we do it again?" She pulled back and looked at him oddly. He smiled innocently and shrugged. "I told you before that I forgot to buy you a present. This is the only thing I can think of to give you."

Sam smiled as she eyed him closely. "You've kissed me three times already." He kept smiling and shrugged again. "Would this be the last one…as a present to me?"

He smirked. "I'm not planning on kissing you anymore but if you insist…" He rolled over and pinned her to the bed. She gasped in surprise and looked at him with wide eyes. He leaned in and kissed her slowly. "Happy Birthday, Sammy."

Andrew laughed. "You conned her!" Sirius smiled and shrugged. "How many times did you kiss her that night?"

Sirius' face scrunched up in concentration. "We kissed…seven times in total that night."

He smiled. "How did you manage four more kisses?"

He smirked. "I'm just that good!" Andrew rolled his eyes. "Ok, the first two, I did by surprise and the last two, I told her I wanted to kiss her goodnight. I told her the first goodnight kiss didn't count since I wasn't ready."

Andrew laughed again. "And, she fell for it?" Sirius nodded. "How did you manage that?"

Sirius laughed. "Sam used to be too innocent and too trusting for her own good. Once she told me that if the sky was clear and I told her it was raining, she would have believed me and gotten her eyes checked." Andrew howled with laughter. "She wanted to believe everything I said."

"Does she still believe what you tell her?"

He sighed in defeat. "No, she doesn't lately." Andrew nodded slowly. "I've been telling her the truth since our wedding night and she…tries to believe me but she has learned from the past that she can't take me at face value anymore."

He nodded. "How does that make you feel?"

He groaned. "It makes me feel like shit!" Andrew eyed him closely. "I know I've lied to her countless times but I've also told her the truth for the most part. Doesn't that count for something?"

Andrew shrugged. "I don't know. Should it count for something?" Sirius looked at him closely. "Well, you said it yourself. You've lied to her a lot but also have told her the truth." Sirius nodded slowly. "She does have reasons not to trust you." Sirius sighed in defeat. "But if you have been truthful like you say you've been then she should try and believe you."

Sirius sighed again. "But she doesn't believe me all of the time! That's the problem!"

"Explain it to me."

"I told her the truth about the incident on the train with Sarah but she doesn't believe me. I tell her I love her and she believes that."

He nodded slowly. "Keep going."

He groaned again. "I just don't know what to do anymore! I want her to trust me again. I want her to believe in me again and I want her to love me like she used to before I screwed up again." Andrew nodded again. "She believes me for some things but not all things. How do I make her trust and believe in me again?"

Andrew sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You may not want to hear this but…" Sirius looked at him with interest. "You just have to keep at it. You have to keep telling her the truth, even if it gets you smacked, and be there for her as much as you can. It will take time and it will test your patience but it will be worth it when you realize she does trust you. It will be worth it when she accepts what you say at face value again. You just have to keep at it because it will pay off in the end."

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* * *

Sirius walked into the common room and sighed when he saw Sam sitting in the corner reading the journal. He nodded at his friends as he walked over to her. He took a deep breath before sitting down next to her. "Hi Sam." She sighed. "How are you doing?" She closed the book and looked at him. "I had my session with Andrew tonight." She kept looking at him. He scratched the back of his head and gave her a small smile. "It went well. He's not that bad…on occasion. I seem to be entertaining him with my memories about us." Her eyebrow rose. "I-I mean before we got together and everything." She nodded slowly. "I've told him about the tradition we have on our birthdays, Christmas, and New Year's. He called it sweet." He rolled his eyes and smiled at her. "Have you met with Alan?"

Sam sighed. "_Sirius, what do you want?_"

His shoulders slumped. "I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me what I did wrong this time." She pulled away when he tried holding her hand. "Come on, Sammy. I'm trying here." He said with a defeated sigh. "I'm trying to talk to you. I'm being honest with you. Just tell me what I did wrong."

She looked away from him. "_There's nothing to say, Sirius._"

He groaned lightly. "Please, just tell me!" Sam sighed when their friends looked over at them. "Did I breathe wrong? Did I look at some girl for too long when I'm supposed to look at the ground whenever you are not around?" Her eyes narrowed. He ran a rough hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." She stood up. He pulled her back down. "I said I was sorry! Why does it have to be like this?" She struggled to stand up but he wouldn't let her. "I'm getting sick of this, Samantha! I don't deserve this! You can't cut me out of your life like this again!" She glared at him. "What the fuck did I do to you? I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure it out but nothing is coming to me! I need you to tell me!" Sam sighed in response. Lily stared at them while Sirius yelled. "Come on, Sammy! We were doing so good! If you tell me what I did then I can fix it!"

She shook her head and swatted at his hands when he kept touching her. "_No, you can't! Leave me alone!_"

Sirius growled. "I'm not letting you go!" He straddled her lap and grabbed her wrists. "Now, we have to talk!" She squirmed and tried to break free as her breathing quickened. He wouldn't let her go. "I want to know what I did!" She winced and grunted in pain when he tightened his grip on her wrists. He let go of her wrists and sighed. "I'm sorry about that. I forgot about…I forgot." She rubbed her wrists and glared at him. "But I'm getting tired of this, Sammy." He growled when she slapped him. Sirius grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her. "You are driving me completely nutters!" She was gasping for air. "I don't care if you can't breathe! We aren't done!"

James came in and sat next to Lily. They kissed. He looked over and groaned. "What's going on now?" Lily looked at him closely. He sighed. "I just got back from a very long detention with Filch and I wanted a quiet night for once." Lily smirked. "Ok, let me ask." He turned to look at her. "Why is Sirius sitting on Sam and why is he grabbing her by the neck?" Lily continued to smirk and shrugged. James groaned again. "Is it something bad?"

Lily smiled and kissed him. "Sam still refuses to speak to Sirius and Sirius can't take it anymore. He is trying to force her to talk to him."

He stared at them and saw Sam having trouble breathing. "She can't breathe and he knows that." Lily nodded. "You haven't stopped him?"

She shrugged. "I would have but they need to start talking again. If he gets out of hand then I will stop him."

He nodded slowly. "I see." She smiled. "Should I…should I stop him?"

Her eyebrow rose. "Is that what you want to do?" He shrugged. "What's on your mind?"

"I want them to start talking again. I want them to get back together because I know they belong together like we do." She smiled again. "But…I…want to be…I want to be a better brother to her. She might start talking to me again if I help her out now."

"James, you can't scam your way back into her good graces. You have to give her time to stop wanting to kill you."

Sam was hyperventilating. Sirius stood up. "_I-I…I…get away from me!_"

He helped her put her head in between her knees and rubbed her back. He crouched down next to her and sighed. "Breathe in and out, Sammy. Try and take small breaths." He whispered in her ear. "Just try and relax, Baby. It's ok. Everything is ok. No one is hurting you. No one is bothering you." Sam looked up and stared at him when she was calm. He gave her a small smile as he caressed her cheek. "That's my girl." She kept staring at him. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to upset you." She nodded slowly. "I just wanted you to talk to me and that seemed like the only way." Her eyes narrowed and he groaned when she punched him in the jaw. He toppled over and glared as she ran up the stairs to get away from him. "This isn't over, Potter! I'll make you talk to me sooner or later!"

James smirked at him as he helped him up. "Is there something wrong, Padfoot?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and rubbed his jaw. "She has a mean right hook." James laughed and nodded. "Where the hell did she learn how to punch like that?"

He smiled. "Dad taught her. He trained and quizzed her for a year because he didn't want her to be defenseless when guys touched her. Plus, it helped Dad sleep at night knowing no evil man would touch his innocent daughter."

He laughed before groaning. "When did he start training her?"

James' smirk reappeared. "The summer she met you actually."

Lily smiled. "How's your jaw, Sirius?" He groaned in response. She shrugged. "Well, it serves you right for scaring her like that! You saw that she couldn't breathe and still sat on her! You deserved it!"

Sirius gave her a look. "I needed to get her to start talking to me again. It seemed like the only way to make that happen."

She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot, Black."

He shrugged. "Thank you, Evans! I needed to hear that!" She rolled her eyes again. "Do you know why she isn't talking to me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. She hasn't mentioned anything and I haven't asked." He rolled his eyes. "All she has said is that she has been spending a lot of time with Michael lately." Sirius and James shared a groan. "Would you like me to ask her for you, Sirius?"

Sirius beamed at her. "I would love it if you did that for me, Lily!" She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Have I ever told you how wonderful you are?"

James pushed him away when he went to hug her. "Keep it in your pants, Padfoot. Focus on one girl at a time for a change." Sirius smirked and nodded. He turned to look at Lily and smiled. "Would you go and try to find out why Sam isn't talking to him?"

Lily smiled at him. "Of course I will." She kissed him and pushed Sirius away when he tried to hug her. "Nice try, Black. I'm not falling for it." She heard the boys laughing as she went up the stairs. She rolled her eyes. "They are a bunch of idiots." She muttered. She opened Sam's door slowly and smiled when she saw her. Sam was in her pajamas and sitting on the window seat. Her head was against the window and she was staring at the sky. Lily closed the door behind her and sighed as she walked over to her. "Hi Sam." She looked away from the window and smiled when she sat down next to her. "How are you doing?" Sam shrugged. "Are you feeling any better?" She shrugged again and nodded. "Can we talk? I need to ask you something important." Sam motioned for her to continue. "Why aren't you speaking to Sirius?" She smiled and pointed to her throat. Lily rolled her eyes. "Cut the crap, Sam. Tell me why you aren't talking to him."

Sam sighed. "_It's complicated, Lily._"

She gave her a look. "Well, simplify it for me, Samantha. Pretend you are talking to Peter and explain it slowly."

She laughed. "_Ok, I will._"

Lily smiled. "That's all I ask." She watched her as she wrote down her response and handed over the note. She read it carefully and sighed when she was done. "Your grandmother's fiancé…who wasn't your grandfather…cheated on her." Sam nodded quickly. "This made you think of when Sirius cheated on you." She nodded again. Lily sighed. "Sammy, this…that wasn't the same. This guy, obviously, didn't love your grandmother as much as she loved him." Sam gave her a look. She rolled her eyes. "Sirius does love you. He really does. You have to know that." Sam sighed. "Sammy, he made a mistake. He regrets it. He has told you that. Sirius wouldn't have…he wouldn't be jumping through hoops for you like this if he didn't." She shook her head in response. "Sirius wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you. He would have let your parents send you away without a second thought."

Sam groaned. "_It was his fault that they wanted to send me away in the first place!_"

She gave her a sad smile. "That is true but…Sam, he has apologized for that. He is doing everything he can to make it up to you. He has been nothing but honest with you. He has been here every step of the way to make sure you get better." Sam nodded slowly. "He was there to help you when you bumped into Severus."

She paled when she said his name. "_I know that, Lily. I appreciate that but it still doesn't change what he has done. It still doesn't change the past._"

Lily patted her hand. "Sam, I know that. He hurt you a lot and what he said to…that _person_ caused you to be tortured and you almost died but he didn't mean for it to happen." Sam looked away from her. "He loves you, Sammy. Sirius loves you so much and is doing everything he can to help you forgive him. He would do and has done anything to make you realize that he loves you." Sam glanced at her. "Come on, Sam. Just talk to him."

Sam growled. "_I can't! There is no point in talking to him!_" Lily groaned. "_He can't take back what he has done! He cheated on and humiliated me with that slut! He almost got me killed because of his petty jealousy!_" Lily sighed. "_It's hard to forgive and forget. He broke my heart when he cheated on me. There is nothing that can change that!_"

She nodded slowly. "You're right. Nothing can change the hurt he has caused you." She smiled in response. "But you can try to forgive him. He has hurt you and in the end, he hasn't only hurt you but himself in the process. He caused you pain and broke your heart but he did the same thing to himself."

She sighed. "_What's your point, Lily?_"

Lily smiled. "My point is…you can try and forgive him. You have the ability to forgive him for cheating on you. You have the ability to forgive him for the attack. You just have to try."

Sam sighed again. "_I don't know if I can. He has hurt me too much._"

She groaned. "Sam, I love you but you are acting like a huge git!" Sam's eyebrow rose. Lily smiled. "Let me give you some advice." She nodded slowly. "Forgive him. One of us has to and it's your turn." Sam hid her smile. "You love him, Sammy. You know you do. Don't make him pay for past sins he knows nothing about. Just try and talk to him. Make him understand how much he has hurt you and try to forgive him but don't make him pay for the pain that guy caused your grandmother. Sirius isn't that guy. He is your flesh and blood husband. He is your soul mate." She bit her lip. "You helped me to realize that I loved James no matter what and I'm returning the favor. You love Sirius no matter what he has done or will do." Sam stared at her closely. "He has been so understanding…which is unlike him." She laughed in response. "Sirius understands and accepts that you have trouble being touched. Any other guy would leave and try to find someone new but he hasn't done that! He has stayed by your side. He has tried to help you in any way he can. He tries not to push you." Lily grabbed her hands. "Sirius wouldn't do this for any other girl but you! He really does love you and you need to realize this." Lily took a deep breath. "Try and forgive him. Try and talk to him. That's all I ask."

She sighed. "_I'll think about it._"

Lily laughed as they hugged. "That's good enough for me." Sam smiled. "Just remember something, ok?" Sam looked at her. "You won't regret letting him back in your heart this time. I've never seen him like this before. He is going crazy because you won't talk to him. He is determined to figure everything out. He is determined to get you back. He has never been like this for anyone but you." Sam nodded. "Now, get off your ass and be the mature person you want to be. Talk to your husband and try to work things out."

Sam smiled and nodded. "_I said I would think about it, Lily! Quit while you are ahead!_"

"I will! I will!"

"_That's good to know._"

Lily smirked. "Just talk to your husband! He loves you!" Sam groaned and threw a pillow at her. She laughed. "I was just stating the obvious!"

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* * *

Sirius looked up when Lily walked down the stairs. "How'd it go? Did you find anything out?"

Lily sat down across from him and smiled. "I did find something out." He looked at her with interest. "But I'm not sure if I should tell you."

He let out a pitiful groan. "You and Sam are killing me, Lily!" She let out a tiny laugh. "Please, tell me what I did wrong."

She laughed. "Ok, I'll tell you." He sighed in relief. "But you won't like it."

Sirius let out a tiny laugh. "I don't doubt that, Lily." She smiled. "But I need to know. I need you to tell me what's wrong with her."

Lily patted his hand. "Get ready. This is…interesting." Sirius nodded. "Sam's grandmother was engaged to her soul mate…who wasn't her grandfather."

He looked at her in surprise. "I…I didn't know that."

She nodded slowly. "Well, neither did Sam." He nodded. "So, this guy cheated on her and they broke up. When he finally got the chance to speak to her…he claimed that he thought it was her grandmother. He swore he thought it was her and not the slut it really was." He was looking down at the ground as he nodded quickly. "It made Sam think of you cheating on her and it made her think of…the train incident." She stared at him as he kept looking at the ground and nodding. "She…she thought that you were just like that guy who broke her grandmother's heart. Sam needed time to think so she pushed you away. She wanted time away from you so she could…think."

He nodded but still wouldn't look at her. "I see."

She sighed. "What…are you ok?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm fine." He took a deep breath before looking at her. "So, some guy, who I've never even met, broke this woman's, whom I've also never met, heart and I'm paying for it." She nodded slowly. He let out a tiny laugh. "This is just great! I'm not only paying for my own mistakes but for some stranger's mistakes!" Lily sighed. "I'm never going to live down hurting Sam, am I?"

Lily gave him a small smile. "I don't know." He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I told her to talk to you. I told her you deserved to know what was going on." He stared at her in surprise. "Sirius, I don't like how you hurt her. I hate it in fact. All the things you've done and said…" He closed his eyes and groaned. "You've made a lot of mistakes. You hurt her and you hurt yourself in the process." He shrugged. "But you have changed. You keep doing everything you can to make it up to her and prove to her how much you love her. That's more than anyone ever expected from you." His eyebrow rose. "Sam is still dealing with all the crap you put her through and the attack. She is still confused by a lot of things and that's why she pushed you away but avoiding you isn't the answer. She has to learn to deal with you while she gets over the past."

He smiled. "Did you tell her this?"

She shrugged. "Yes, I did. She needed to hear the truth just like I needed to so I could forgive James."

Sirius grabbed her face and kissed her forehead. "Lily, I love you!" She pushed him away and slapped him upside his head. "It's a good thing I didn't really kiss you." He muttered while rubbing his head. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Do you believe what you told her?"

Lily rolled her eyes again. "Of course I do! I wouldn't have told her that if I didn't believe it!" He smiled. "Sirius, you and Sam are meant to be. The two of you love each other. You are just going through a rough patch right now. I know the two of you will get through it eventually. I just had to make her see it."

He smiled and hugged her. "Thank you, Lily." She smiled and hugged him back. "What should I do?"

She laughed. "What? Are you stupid?" He looked at her oddly. She shook her head in disbelief. "You're hopeless!" He shrugged. "You talk to her, idiot! Try and talk to her!"

Sirius nodded and smiled again. "Thank you, Lily."

Lily nodded. "It was nothing." They hugged. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to sleep and figure out a way to get her to talk to me again. I'm going to figure out a way to get my wife back."

"That's good to know. I wish you luck."


	78. Chapter 77: The Cautionary Tale Of…

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay. I did my best to proof but I'm kind of distracted now. I'll be out of town for a few days so if you review, don't be surprised if I don't respond right away. This chapter is ok. I hope you like it.

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Chapter 77: The Cautionary Tale Of…

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Sirius looked around the room in awe and confusion. There were multiple throw rugs on the floor. The walls were cluttered with portraits and there was a roaring fire. He saw overstuffed leather arms chairs by the fire and shrugged before sitting down in one of the chairs. He stared at the large windows and sighed. "Where am I?" He muttered.

"You're in hell."

He jumped to his feet and looked around. He couldn't see a thing in the darkened corners. "Who said that? Show yourself!"

She laughed as she stepped into the light. "Can you see me now?"

His eyes narrowed. "Yes, I can." She smiled and shrugged. He stared at the small brunette woman in confusion. She was staring at him closely as she smiled. "Who are you?" He asked slowly.

She sat down in one of the arm chairs and motioned for him to do the same thing. Sirius sat down slowly. "You are a lot cuter in person." He looked at her incredulously. She laughed. "You know me. Just think carefully and it will come to you." He shook his head and shrugged. She rolled her eyes. "How stupid are you, Black?"

He glared at her. "I'm not stupid!" Her eyebrow rose. He groaned. "Who the hell are you?"

She smirked. "I'm your grandmother-in-law, moron!" He stared at her like she was crazy. "You should show me some respect, kiddo! I'm here to help!"

Sirius eyed her closely. "You're Kathleen Harrington?" She nodded. "You're Kathleen McKenzie?" She rolled her eyes and nodded. "I don't believe it! Kathleen McKenzie is dead!"

Kathleen laughed. "Yes, I am!" He shook his head slowly. "No, you aren't crazy, Sirius. I am James and Samantha's dead grandmother."

"I don't understand."

"That doesn't surprise me."

He glared at her. "I'm not stupid! Stop implying that I am!"

She smiled brightly. "I know you aren't. I'm just trying to make you think."

Sirius groaned. "Please, stop trying to make me think." She nodded. "I'm going through a lot right now. I'm going through some things that make me think too much. I just need some straight answers for once." She gave him a sad smile. He looked around the room. "Where are we?"

Kathleen smiled. "We are…I don't know where we are exactly but I know it is a safe place." He stared at her closely. "We are in your dream."

He nodded slowly. "I see that." She smiled again. "Why are you here?"

She shrugged. "I'm here to help you."

"What does that mean?"

"What do you think that means, git?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "You must be Sam's grandmother! The two of you seem to love to torture me!"

Kathleen laughed. "You make it so easy for us, Baby!" He gave her a look. She laughed again. "Sammy has been ignoring you." He nodded. "I'm here to help you out with her."

He sighed. "How can you help me?" She opened her mouth to speak but he interrupted her. "I don't understand. How are you here? How am I talking to you when you are dead? Why are you in my dream? How can I see you when I've never met you or seen your picture?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. "Those were a lot of questions." He shrugged. "Why don't we take things slow, ok?" He nodded. "I know you have a lot of questions and you have every right to ask me them but let's take them one at a time."

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "That's a good idea." She smiled. "Why…why can I see you now when I've never met you or seen a picture of you?"

She was silent for a minute before answering. "You needed to meet me." He stared at her oddly. "Sammy has been ignoring you. She has distanced herself from you because of your mistakes and because of mistakes you never even knew about."

"I know all of this, Mrs. McKenzie."

"Cut the Mrs. McKenzie crap, Sirius. Call me Kathleen."

Sirius laughed. "You sound like Mum."

Kathleen smiled. "I like how you think of my daughter as your mother." He smiled and shrugged. "Evelyn thinks of you as a son." He smiled again. "She loves you as much as she loves James and Sam."

He hid his blush. "Mum means a lot to me. So does Dad. They took me in and made me a part of the family when they didn't have to."

She nodded. "They really do love you." He smiled. "Evelyn always wanted to have a house full of children. She got her wish." He nodded. "She usually gets what she wishes for. She wished for her soul mate and wound up marrying the git!"

He laughed. "Why don't you like Dad? He said you were close at one point." She nodded. "Is it because he cheated on Mum?"

She rolled her eyes. "I like Harold just fine." His eyebrow rose in question. She laughed lightly. "I really do like him, Sirius! I always insulted him! That was our way!" He smiled and nodded. "I'll admit that when Evelyn told me he cheated on her I wasn't thrilled with him but I still loved him like a son. It's just…when I found out that he had hurt my daughter; it reminded me of how Alex cheated on me. I was angry at him for that but I still loved him. Evelyn got over it eventually and married him. Harold made and makes her happy. He gave her two of the greatest kids and she is madly in love with him still. That's all I ever wanted for her. I wanted a man that could always make her happy and give her the house full of children she always dreamt of and that's what he has done." He nodded again. "James and Sam were lucky enough to inherit Evelyn's faithfulness and loyalty." Sirius smiled and nodded. "James was unfortunate to inherit Harold's ability to be a raging git." Sirius howled with laughter. "Sam has moments of being a git but those moments are fleeting." Sirius nodded. "She is truthful to a fault and loves people unconditionally like my Evelyn."

Sirius sighed. "She used to love me unconditionally."

Kathleen's eyebrow rose. "And, whose fault is that?" He groaned lightly. "That's what I thought." He sighed. "Sirius, I'm not here to make you feel bad." He looked at her in disbelief. She laughed. "I swear that I'm not."

"Then why are you here, Kathleen?"

"I'm here to help."

He groaned again. "You still haven't told me how you are going to help."

She looked at him. "I'm going to help you figure out a way for my granddaughter to get her head out of her ass for a brief moment and talk to you."

Sirius smiled. "You are?" She nodded. "Why do you want to do that?"

Kathleen shrugged. "For better or for worse, you are family and I help family." He nodded slowly. "Plus, you are her soul mate and I have a soft spot for soul mates." He laughed. "Sam loves you, Sirius. You are the only she loves."

"She loves Remus."

"She may have loved Remus but she could never love him the way she loves you. She loves you in a way that only a soul mate could."

He smiled. "I never get tired of hearing that!"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'm sure you don't." He winked at her. She laughed again. "You're quite the flirt, aren't you?" He smirked and shrugged. "I knew you were perfect for Sammy when I saw you." He looked at her in surprise. She smiled. "Before I died, I had two dreams." He nodded slowly. "One of the dreams was horrible and I don't wish to discuss it." He nodded. "But the second dream was wonderful." She had a small smile on her face. "I saw you and Sammy together. The two of you were so happy and in love." He smiled slowly. "I knew after that dream, my granddaughter would know a love that most people only experience in books. Your love is epic. It will last for eternity. It will be…tragic but true." He smiled again. "How much do you love my granddaughter, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged. "I love her a lot." She rolled her eyes. He groaned. "What do you want me to say, Kathleen?"

Kathleen glared at him. "I want you to tell me the truth! That is something I've noticed you have had trouble with." He glared at her. "Tell me how much you love her."

He sighed before smiling when he thought of her. "I've never loved anyone like her in my entire life." Kathleen smiled. He looked at her with excitement. "She…she is the only woman I've ever loved! I would do anything she asked! I would do anything for her!" Kathleen's smile grew. "I wake up in the morning and I actually get excited and giddy at the thought of seeing her. It doesn't matter if she is nice to me or if she is mad at me…which is most of the time." She laughed. "I know I can tell her anything and she wouldn't judge me." She nodded. "Except when I told her about the real reason why I cheated on her, the prank I pulled on Snape, and about the attack. She judged me for that and I deserved it." She stared at him closely. "She is my soul mate. I think about her constantly. I dream about her every night. I'm completely in love with her and there is nothing I can do to stop it! Not that I want to stop it or anything. She means everything to me. She makes me whole. She makes me feel complete." She nodded again as she continued to smile. "I've been with a lot of girls but she is the only one that I want to be around at all times. She is the only woman I will ever love."

She patted his cheek. "That was sweet." He blushed and shrugged. "You truly love her and that makes me very happy." He smiled. "You've made plenty of mistakes when it's come to her but you know this." He nodded. "Sirius, she will forgive you one day."

He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "How do you know that, Kathleen?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'm a dream seer and I know all." He let out a tiny laugh. She winked at him. "Plus, I know my granddaughter. I've watched over all of you since…well…since I died. She truly loves you and wants to forgive you. She is just scared to let herself love you."

Sirius gulped. "Y-You watch over us all the time?" She nodded. "Were…were you watching when Sammy tried to kill herself?"

Kathleen's chin trembled. "Yes, I was." He had a pained look on his face. She wiped her eyes. "I…I wish I was there to help her through that. I wish I was there to stop her. I was so glad when that nurse and Evelyn walked in…but it was almost too late."

"What…what do you mean by that?"

"She cut herself after the nurse left to get Evelyn. She cut herself again just as Evelyn opened the door." Sirius looked away from her. "My poor little girl was forced to see my sweet granddaughter almost die. Sammy…she was so upset and couldn't think straight. She thought it was the only way to stop the pain she was feeling."

He let the tears fall from his eyes freely. "It was my fault." She looked at him in surprise. "If…if I didn't fall asleep and dream about her then Sarah wouldn't have been able to…"

She hugged him tightly. "Sirius, that's not true!" He shook his head as he cried. "You are giving yourself way too much credit!"

Sirius pulled away and stared at her. "What do you mean?"

Kathleen wiped his eyes. "You have to remember." His eyebrows furrowed together. "She had lost James and her father all in a span of an hour! Sam lost two of the people she counted on most. She was dealing with that but deep down she knew she still had you, even though she left you. When she got that letter, she thought she lost you to Sarah." His chin trembled. "She didn't try to do that just because of you. She did that because of Harold and James too." He started to cry again. She rubbed his back. "Sam thought she only had Evelyn and that wonderful girl Lily to count on. She didn't want to leave them but she thought it was the only solution to the pain she was feeling."

He pulled away from her. "Why hasn't she told me about this?"

She sighed. "She doesn't want you to look at her in any way that's different." He looked at her oddly. "Sam wants you to see her…she doesn't want you to think she is perfect because she isn't. We both know that." He nodded slowly. "But she doesn't want you to look at her like she is crazy."

"She is crazy."

"Excuse me?"

His eyes widened. "I-I-I didn't mean it like that." Her eyebrow rose. "I-I just meant that…she is crazy." She gave him a look. He let out a pathetic groan. "Sam is crazy in the sense that she can be all over the place sometimes and she is friends with the oddest group of people." She nodded slowly. "But I'd never think she is crazy because of that!" She nodded again. "Sam is one of the strongest and most stubborn women I've ever met besides Lily and Mum, but she is human. We all have our weak moments. It doesn't mean we are less than what we are because we give into it. It makes us realize how easy it would be to lose ourselves but it is up to us to get past it and deal. That's what she is doing. She realized she made a mistake and now, she is dealing with the consequences."

She smiled. "You're a wise man, Sirius." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "I'm being honest with you, sweetheart. I'm so glad Sammy married you. I know she made the right choice. You are the only one that could truly love her the way she deserves. The two of you love each other despite all of your faults."

Sirius shrugged. "I love her no matter what." She smiled again. "Kathleen, I love your granddaughter and I always will. She is the one. She is the only one…"

Kathleen smiled. "Sirius, I know you love her. You don't have to convince me of that." He nodded. "We need to focus on the problem at hand."

He scratched the back of his head and sighed. "I need to figure out a way to get her to talk to me again."

She nodded. "I should probably fill you in on some things." He nodded as he sat back in his chair. "Alex Lewis-"

He choked. "D-Did you…uh…did you just say Alex _Lewis_?" She nodded. "Is…is he related to Michael and Patrick Lewis by any chance?"

She nodded again. "Yes, he is their grandfather." He groaned. She laughed. "You don't think too highly of them, do you?"

Sirius sneered and shook his head eagerly. "No, I don't!" Her eyes widened. "They are the biggest prats I know! Patrick took her away from me for a couple of months and Michael…" He growled. "Michael can't get it through his thick skull that nothing will make her love him as other than a friend! She will never love him like she loves me!"

Kathleen blinked in surprise. "Ok…I…uh…wow! I wasn't expecting that!"

He laughed. "I get that a lot whenever I talk about them."

She smiled. "I bet you do." He smirked. "But let's get back to my story now. We will deal with your issues later if we have time." He laughed and nodded. "Alex Lewis and I were engaged for a time. We broke up after he cheated on me." He nodded slowly. "I saw him a few months after he left for Egypt." A small smile appeared on her face. "He looked as handsome as ever that day. I pushed people out of the way just to get to him." He smiled. "I hugged him so tight and I nearly fainted when he kissed me." She looked at him closely. "When you kiss Sam…especially after a long absence…does that kiss make it seem like you've waited your whole life just for that one kiss but it also seems like not time has passed at all?"

He smiled again. "That's how I feel every time I kiss her." He blushed. "As corny as that sounds."

She laughed. "That isn't corny." He gave her a look. She laughed again. "Ok, that was a little corny but it was very sweet."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

Sirius' smile grew. "Please, continue with your story."

Kathleen nodded. "I will do just that." He nodded. "We were talking for a bit when Robert, my husband, came over. He had just gotten his heart broken by Margie and we were spending time together. We were catching up when Arabelle came over." He groaned. She smiled. "I felt the same way." He laughed. "She put her arms around Alex and kissed him. That's when I saw that she was pregnant." He sighed. "They got married a month before. The night of the graduation dance was when she got pregnant."

He held her hand. "I'm sorry, Kathleen."

She nodded and smiled as she squeezed his hand. "Thank you but I'm fine now, Sirius." He nodded. "I was heartbroken at the time and…I slept with Robert after a lot of fire whiskey and conversation about the cruelty of love." He shifted uncomfortably and nodded. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

He shook his head. "No, you didn't."

She smiled. "I'm going to get to my story now." He nodded eagerly. "Robert and I…he was my best friend and I loved him very much." He nodded again. "We got married a few months…after I found out I was pregnant." He choked. She let out a tiny laugh. "I know. I know. It sounds bad but it really wasn't. I loved Robert and he loved me." He nodded. "We were…happy. Alex would come over as often as he could. He would bring his son Patrick sometimes." His eyebrow rose. She sighed. "You'll understand when I'm finished." He nodded. "Well, I was six months along when I had a miscarriage."

Sirius coughed. "Y-You had a miscarriage?" She nodded. "What…how…what…?"

Kathleen gave him a sad smile. "Yes, I lost my son." He sighed and shook his head. "I was just cleaning the kitchen and then I was bent over in pain. Robert and Alex came running in when they heard me shout." She took a deep breath. "Robert and I were heartbroken. We may have gotten married because I was pregnant but we did love each other." He nodded. "After the miscarriage, I started pulling away from everyone. I was so upset, depressed, and angry at myself for my baby dying. I blamed myself." She looked at him. "Sirius, I need you to promise me something." He looked at her closely. "Promise me if you ever get Sammy pregnant that you will take care of her and make sure she takes care of herself and the baby."

He blinked in surprise. "Well, we are too young to have a baby and we are always careful when we…uh…do that."

She gave him a look. "Sirius, you have to promise me this!" His eyes widened. "Evelyn was lucky enough to never go through something like that and I want to make sure that Sammy doesn't either!" He gulped. "Promise me that if you ever get her pregnant that you will take care of her and make sure she takes care of herself and the baby! I need you to promise me this, Sirius!"

He nodded quickly. "I promise, Kathleen. I promise I will take care of her and the…uh…baby if she ever gets pregnant."

She sighed in relief. "Thank you for that, Sirius." He shrugged. "I wouldn't talk to Robert and I spent as much time as I could with Alex. Robert wasn't too pleased about that." He nodded. "We started to have…an affair." Sirius choked before his mouth hung in shock. She blushed. "It's not something I'm proud of, Sirius. I was just…I felt dead inside after we lost the baby and when I was with Alex, I felt alive." His eyebrow rose. "I don't blame you for judging me."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I wouldn't judge you! I have no room to judge you!"

Kathleen sighed. "Well, I wouldn't blame you if you did." He shrugged. "We had an affair for…a long time. I was still married to Robert and he was still married to Arabelle. They had two more sons while Robert and I were childless. I wasn't sure if I wanted to risk a pregnancy again. I didn't think I would recover if I lost another baby." Sirius sighed as he nodded. "Actually, it was a month after his youngest son was born that I found out I was pregnant." His eyebrow rose. She shrugged. "I was terrified and thrilled all at the same time." He eyed her closely. "And, no, I didn't know who the father was." He sighed again. "I gave birth to my beautiful Evelyn and I never felt such joy in my life. I didn't care who the father was. I was just happy that I finally had the child I longed for. I finally had the baby I never knew I wanted."

He cleared his throat. "Did you ever find out who Mum's dad was?"

She nodded. "Yes, I did after some time." He stared at her. "But I'm getting to that." He nodded. "Evelyn and Alex's boys would play together everyday. They were best friends. Robert…my poor Robert suspected that I was sleeping with Alex and that there was a chance Evelyn wasn't his." She closed her eyes for a brief moment and sighed. "One day…Robert came to pick us up at Alex's house. The kids had a play date." She wiped her eyes. "He found Alex and me in the study…kissing. He was livid. He left the room and got Evelyn. She ran away from him and went to Alex. She called him…Daddy Alex." His eyes widened. "Alex gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before Robert grabbed her and yelled at her. He said Alex wasn't her father and she had to remember that. Evelyn started to cry and went to come to me but Robert picked her up and walked out." She gave him a small smile. "She was only five at the time. She didn't know any better. Her best friends were Alex's kids and she wanted to do and say everything they did. She didn't mean to hurt Robert. It was an innocent mistake." He nodded quickly. "I went home and Robert was waiting for me. Evelyn was at his parents' house. For the first time in my life, I was terrified of Robert." She rubbed her eyes. "He asked for the truth and I told him. He asked if Evelyn…" She gulped. "Evelyn and Robert were closer than anything. They were as close as Harold and Sammy were before…well…you know." He nodded. "Robert asked if I knew if Evelyn was his or not. I said I didn't know. He started to yell and scream. I never saw him like that before in all the time that I knew him. Robert said he was leaving and I wasn't allowed to see Evelyn. I went insane. I started screaming at him and hitting him like a mad woman. I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing my little girl." Her eyes watered over the memory. "I was a wreck when he left. I didn't hear from him for a week and Alex was nowhere to be found. It was a week before he came home with her. I was so glad to see her…and him. I never thought I'd miss him so much." He smiled slightly. "After a couple of days moping around and hating me, he took her to St. Mungo's to find out who Evelyn really belonged to."

He sat up in his seat. "Who was her father?"

She smiled. "Robert was and always will be her father." He smiled brightly. "I was relieved and saddened. I was relieved that Robert was her father because they made each other so happy. They lit up when the other was mentioned or in the room. They were crazy about each other." His smile grew. "I was sad because I knew how much Alex wanted her to be his. He loved Evelyn like she was his daughter but…she wasn't his. She never would be. It didn't matter if Alex turned out to be the father because Robert was the only daddy she wanted."

Sirius nodded slowly as he took all of the information in. "How…how did Alex react when he found out that Mum wasn't his?"

Kathleen rolled her eyes. "I went to Alex's office to tell him that Robert was her father and…that we couldn't be together anymore. I had promised Robert to break things off if he let Evelyn continue to be friends with the boys. He agreed…reluctantly. Evelyn loved those boys. They did everything together." He nodded. "I walked into his office and saw him with his assistant…on his desk." His mouth hung open in shock. "Alex always had trouble keeping it in his pants." Sirius nodded eagerly. "He begged me to let him explain but I wouldn't let him. I told him that I only came to see him to let him know that Evelyn was Robert's daughter and we were over…for good."

He shook his head slowly and let out a low whistle. "That was…wow!" She nodded. "I can't believe it! That was…unbelievable!"

She smiled. "Yes, it was." He smiled. "But I'm not done."

His eyes widened. "There's more?" She nodded. He gulped. "Please…continue."

She sighed. "I didn't have any contact with Alex for a year. He tried but I ignored him. I was depressed after I ended things but it was for the best. Robert was cold towards me for a short time but when he found out about what happened…instead of rubbing my face in it…he held me and let me cry for him." Sirius looked at her in shock. "He knew how much Alex meant to me. He later confessed to me that he did feel slightly happy about my pain but only because I really broke his heart." He nodded. "He never wanted me hurt. Robert knew I beat myself up over everything that had happened and decided that I needed a friend more than an 'I told you so' at that moment." She smiled at him. "That was the great thing about Robert. He never let down anyone he cared about despite his anger towards them."

"He sounds like a great guy."

"He was. He really was."

He smiled. "Keep going."

She nodded. "A year past without any contact with Alex. I made sure the play dates took place while he was at work." He nodded. "I ran into him in Diagon Alley. He made me talk to him." She sighed. "Our affair began again." Sirius groaned. "Alex was a great weakness of mine."

Sirius let out a tiny laugh of disbelief. "I see that." She looked at him. "Why did you start up with him again after he kept hurting you?"

Kathleen's eyebrow rose. "Why does Sammy keep going back to you when all you've done is hurt her?"

He glared at her. "That's different and you know it!" She had a bemused smile on her face. "I love her! I've made terrible mistakes but deep down, she knows I regret hurting her! Could you say that same thing about Alex?"

She shrugged. "Let me finish my story and you will find out." He motioned for her to continue. "Our affair lasted for a few more years. I was careful that Robert and Evelyn didn't find out this time." He nodded. "Patrick was going into his third year when…" She gulped. "The boys were in their backyard and Patrick was trying to show off. He climbed this huge old oak tree and the branch he was standing on broke. He fell. His neck snapped and he died instantly." He gasped in surprise. "The three of us went to the funeral. They…we…everyone was devastated. Arabelle may have been a slut but she loved her boys more than life itself. She was inconsolable when Patrick died." He looked down at the ground. "Robert stayed with her and told me to check on Alex." His eyes widened. "He knew that I was the only one who could help Alex. I went to his study and…he was drinking. He was a complete wreck. No parent should have to bury their child. That is a pain I would not wish on my greatest enemy." She sighed. "Alex started to cry. He…he started to kiss me. Alex said if he was with me again then his pain would be gone. I tried to reason with him but nothing seemed to work. He said the only time he felt alive was when he was with me. Alex told me that being with me for all those years meant everything to him. He loved me. He wanted us to be together forever." She shook her head. "We turned around when we heard a noise. Robert was standing in the doorway and he had heard everything." He gasped. "He left after punching Alex and after telling me he was leaving me and taking Evelyn away again. I went to go after him but Alex stopped me. He said that we could be together now. I said I had to make things right with Robert. We started to argue. Alex told me that if I left, it was over between us. I told him that I couldn't lose my daughter. He said it was my fault his son died and he never wanted to see me again." He shook his head slowly. "I was upset but I went after Robert instead of pleading with Alex."

He sighed. "You just left him?"

She nodded. "Yes, I did." He looked at her closely. "Robert was not as forgiving as he was the last time. I understood. I made a promise and broke it. I broke his heart once again." He nodded. "Robert and Evelyn were gone…again. We had a trail separation for close to a year." He groaned. He hated trial separations. "He knew I stopped seeing Alex. I only saw him in passing. I never stopped to talk to him." He nodded again. "Robert said he would come back only if I swore never to cheat on him again and give our marriage a real shot. He was tired of always feeling like a second choice. He didn't want me to settle by being with him. He didn't want Evelyn to settle either." Sirius stared at her closely. It made sense now why Robert went to Harold so he could fight for Evelyn and stop her from settling by being with Argus. "I promised I would and they moved back in. Evelyn kept me at a distance for a long time. She only started to come around after she met Harold and wanted advice." He smiled. She laughed. "I was always a little off the wall but it only got worse as I got older. The dreams started to take its toll." He paled. She smiled. "Don't worry about Sammy. She is getting help so this won't happen to her." He sighed in relief. "I did love Harold the moment I met him. I knew he was the one for Evelyn. My affection for him waned when he kept hurting her but I got over it eventually."

He nodded. "I'm glad to hear it." She smiled. "What happened between you and Robert?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "We were happy together after we got past all of the pain." He smiled. "I became ill while Evelyn was pregnant with Sammy. I had that dream about you and Sammy." His smile grew. "I had plenty of dreams about Sammy and James…and you." He blushed when she smirked at him. "I was dying. Robert was beside himself. It was then I realized something very important."

Sirius stared at her. "What did you realize?"

Kathleen smiled. "I realized I was wrong." He stared at her in confusion. "I thought Alex was my soul mate but it was Robert all along. I did love Alex but Robert was the one all along. A soul mate is someone who stands by you through everything and still wants to know you after all the bad and good times. Robert did that while Alex was weakened easily." He blinked in surprise. "I thought Alex was the one but he was just an impossible distraction to get away from. Robert was my other half. He knew me in ways that even I didn't know. We stuck by each other and took care of each other. I wasted so many years on Alex when the man I always wanted was the man I married." He smiled. "It was the night before I died when I told this to Robert. He was convinced I was going nutters." He laughed. "I told him he was the one all along but I was too stupid and too stubborn to realize it until then. He said he loved me and I said I loved him too." He smiled. "The next night I had that horrible dream and I died from a heart attack."

He gulped. "Wow…I don't know what to say but…wow!"

She shrugged. "There is nothing to say." He nodded and sighed. "Now, you know what you are up against."

He nodded. "Yes, I do." She stared at him. "Does Sam know any of this yet?"

She sighed. "She knows most of it…and hates me." He shook his head. "Yes, she does."

"I could explain it to her."

"Don't bother. She will understand soon."

Sirius sighed. "Do you know if she will forgive me?"

Kathleen smiled and nodded. "Yes, she will." He smiled. "I have a question for you." He looked at her closely. "Why haven't you taken her on a date?"

He stared at her oddly. "What are you talking about?"

Her eyes narrowed and he gulped. "You have had sex with her." He blushed and shifted uncomfortably. "You married her but you never took her on a date. Is she not good enough for that?"

He shook his head aggressively. "She is more than good enough!" She eyed him closely. "I…I just never thought to do that."

She rolled her eyes. "That doesn't surprise me." He glared at her. She laughed. "I have an idea."

"This should be good."

"Would you shut up and listen? I'm trying to help you out!"

Sirius sighed. "What is your idea?"

Kathleen smirked. "Take her on a date." He looked at her incredulously. She laughed. "It will work! You find some way to take her on a date and convince her that you love her. You convince her she is the only one for you and that you won't cheat on her again." He nodded slowly. "You should try it!"

He shrugged. "It sounds like a good idea."

She gave him a look. "It is a good idea!"

He sighed. "Do you think it would work?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I'll do it." She smiled. "Kathleen, can I ask you something?"

Kathleen stared at him. "Of course you can."

He took a deep breath. "Why did you tell me all of this?"

She smiled. "You needed to know what you are up against."

"Do you believe me when I say that I love her?"

"Yes, I do."

He nodded. "So, you believe that Sam and I are supposed to be together?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Of course I do! I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't." He smiled. "Sirius, you and Sam are soul mates. The two of you belong together."

Sirius smiled. "Thank you, Kathleen."

Kathleen gave him a tight hug. "You're welcome, Sirius." They hugged again. "Now, wake up and get your wife back before it's too late!"

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Sam took a deep breath as she walked out onto the Quidditch pitch. She looked around and stretched. Madam Hooch stood off to the side and watched her. Sam sighed. She knew that Madam Hooch had better things to do at night than watch her run but she was grateful for the company. She had been secluding herself from everyone except Michael and Lily. She started to run and blinked as the cold air hit her eyes. She stopped to collect herself before she started to run again.

Her thoughts were clear until she looked at the castle and saw a light on in the boys' room. A picture of Sirius entered her mind and she gulped. He kept trying to talk to her but she managed to dodge him. It wasn't like she didn't want to talk to him. She did. It was just hard for her. The further she got into the journal, the more she thought of how he hurt her. Sam wanted to forgive him but it was hard for her to let go. If only she could hate him and let go, life would be a lot easier but she couldn't. Sirius was her soul mate. He was her husband. He was her true love and it was hard to let go of that.

Sam started to run faster when she thought of how he kept insisting that he loved her. It would be so much easier if he gave up on her. If she never met him, things would be different. A pain shot through her heart when the thought of never meeting or loving Sirius hit her. She was glad she knew him. She was glad he was in her life. Despite all of the pain they caused each other, she was still happy to know him.

Sirius' sad face popped into her head. His words of confusion filled her mind and she tripped. Sam started to cry. She missed him. They were getting along so well before she started reading the journal. They were being honest and opening up to each other. They were becoming closer and she got scared. She was determined not to fall for him again after she left him on their wedding night. The moment she came back from St. Mungo's and saw him; she knew she was in trouble. When he stayed with her after he tore her stitches, she knew she was starting to fall for him again. She groaned. Life wasn't fair sometimes. She had plenty of boys flirt with her but only one stood out in the crowd and that was Sirius. It had always been Sirius and she knew, in her heart, that it would always be Sirius.

Madam Hooch ran over to her. "Are you alright, Black?"

She stood up and wiped her eyes. She gave her a small smile and nodded. She started running again. Lily's words entered her mind. Sam knew that she was right. She had to start being the mature person she wanted to be. She had to learn how to communicate with Sirius even though he could be the most infuriating person she knew. He could just look at her in a certain way and she flew off the handle. He knew what buttons to push and enjoyed pushing them.

Sam shook her head to clear her thoughts. Nothing seemed to work. Sirius was a permanent fixture in her mind. She thought about how she was going to have to leave him when she died. She was going to have to leave everyone she cared about behind. Tears appeared in her eyes. She still wasn't ready to die but she knew she had to. It was the only way to save Sirius. It was the only way to save the ones she loved. She stopped short and stumbled. She had made a promise to show Sirius that he was cared about and that people loved him. He had to know that he was nothing like his family. He had to know he was better than them in every way. She sighed as she walked over to Madam Hooch. Lily was right. The next time Sirius tried to talk to her, she would let him. She would do her best to explain why she pushed him away and ignored him. She would do her best to forgive him. Sam knew it was time to talk to Sirius.

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Sirius waited for Sam outside of her class. He took a deep breath. He was nervous as hell. He hoped she talked to him or, at least, didn't hit him too hard. He stood off to the side as people filed out of the room and sighed. He gulped when he saw her. "Sam?" He muttered. She didn't hear him over the loud noises in the hallway. He ran over to her and touched her arm. "Sammy?" She turned around and looked at him. He gulped again. "Hi." Sam's eyebrow rose as she nodded. "I-I…I was wondering if you were…uh…free tonight." She nodded again. He was sweating. "Would…can…would it be alright if we talked tonight?" She sighed. "Could you meet me tonight so we can talk privately?" She bit her lip. He stared at her closely. She nodded slowly. He groaned. "Please, can we…?" His eyes widened. "Did you just agree?" She hid her smile and nodded. He beamed at her. "That's fantastic!" She laughed. "I-I'll see you tonight…after dinner. Is that alright?" She nodded. He kissed her cheek. "That's great! I-I'll meet you in the common room at eight, ok?" Sam smiled. Sirius looked at his watch. "I have to go to class but I'll see you tonight! Thank you, Sammy!" He kissed her cheek before running off to class.

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Sam looked in the mirror and sighed. She adjusted her short black dress and pushed a stray curl out of her eyes before putting the silver hoop earrings her parents gave her in her ears. Her hands shook slightly as she looked over her appearance. Part of her hair was swept up while the rest was curled against the back of her neck. Her dress was strapless and rested just above her knee. She let out a tiny laugh when her nerves grew. She thought about the note Sirius had slipped her in between classes hours after he asked her to talk. The note explained that their plans changed slightly. Tonight, they would talk but he also wanted this to be their first date. He asked to meet her before dinner so their date could begin. Sirius looked nervous while he asked her to read the note. "Is this alright?" He whispered. "Is it alright that I'm asking you out on a date?" He smiled when she nodded. "Wear something nice. I'll do the same." She nodded again and smiled. "We'll meet in the common room at six instead, ok?" Sam smiled. He kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Sammy. You won't regret it!"

Now, she was in her room and putting the finishing touches on her outfit. She was nervous. She may have married him and they may have slept together but they never went on a date. She bit her lip and smiled. She thought it was really sweet of him to even consider asking her out on a date after everything. She checked her watched and gulped. It was six. She smoothed out her dress and checked her hair before walking down to meet him.

Sirius paced as he waited for her. He wore the black pants he wore to their wedding and the dark blue shirt he knew she loved. Their friends watched him with smirks. They knew about the date and enjoyed making fun of him for it. He stopped short when she walked down the stairs. They looked at each other with wide eyes and shared a blush. He took a deep breath before walking over to her. He took her hand in his and smiled. "Hi." She smiled and nodded. "You look beautiful." She blushed. She pointed at him and nodded. His eyebrows furrowed together. "Are you saying I look good too?" She nodded. He smirked. "I try, Baby. I try." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Are you ready?" He asked as he held out his arm. She bit her lip and took his arm. He smiled. "I'm really glad you agreed to this."

The others stared at them in amusement. Sam and Sirius stopped when they heard a collective "aw". They rolled their eyes and gave them the finger. "They are perfect for each other." Lily muttered. They laughed. She took out Sam's camera and smiled. "Now, get together, you two! You'll want to remember your first date!"

He put his arm around her shoulders and they smiled. "She was your friend first, love." He whispered in her ear. She laughed and winked at him. The flash went off and they blinked. "Now, if you don't mind, it is time for me to take my wife out on a date." He smiled at her. "Are you ready, love?" She nodded. He kissed her cheek. "Let's go."

Kevin laughed. "Sammy, don't let him try anything! He won't respect you if you put out on the first date!" Sirius had to hold her back. His eyes widened. "Sirius, you better watch out! She is a feisty one!"

Sirius smirked. "Yes, I know. Thanks for the warning."

They walked out and they laughed. "Hopefully, they work things out. I'd hate to have to hear Sirius complain about her ignoring him again." Chris said.

Frank nodded. "I know what you mean!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "At least you don't have to share a room with him! He talks about it in his sleep!"

Lilac laughed. "Are you joking?" James and Remus shook their heads eagerly. "Why does he even care if she talks to him or not?"

Patty looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you dense?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Mary laughed. "Sirius is crazy about her! You'd have to be blind not to see it!" Lilac rolled her eyes. "It's true! He was going nuts when she stopped talking to him!"

"You're lying!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You are dense!" Lilac gave her the finger. "I'm serious! Sirius was trying everything to get her to talk to him!"

Lilac let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well, isn't that so sweet?"

James gave her a look. "Shut up, Lilac! He loves her and misses her!"

She sneered. "That's bullshit! He is just trying to make her fall for him again and then he will hurt her…again!"

Lily smiled. "Lilac, do me a favor?" She nodded. "Get your head out of your ass for a moment and realize that Sam and Sirius love each other no matter what. They will always love each other. It doesn't matter what anyone says."

The others laughed while Lilac pouted. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Lily!" Remus smiled.

Mary looked at him with a blush and a smile. "Remus, what are you doing tonight?"

Remus blushed. "I-I planned on studying. What are you doing?"

Her blush grew. "I was planning on the same thing." He nodded slowly. "Would…would you like to…study together?"

He smiled. "I'd love to."

They looked at each other and rolled their eyes when they walked off to be alone. "It looks like another super couple is about to form." Frank said.

Alice kissed his cheek. "Yes, it does." She looked at the others. "I think it was very sweet of Sirius to ask Sam out on a date." They nodded. "It's odd that they are married but have never been on a date together."

James shrugged. "Sirius isn't the date type of guy. He is the snog and shag type of guy."

Kevin smiled when Patty curled up against him. "He sure is."

Chris laughed. "Well, it seems like that is about to change with Sam." They nodded. "He would do anything to get Sam back…even date her."

Lily smiled. "Yes, he would." She kissed James. "I hope this works out for them."

He kissed her. "So do I."

Patty looked at them. "Do you think it will work?"

Alice shrugged. "I hope it does. They belong together. We know it. Sirius knows it. Sam will realize it again…eventually." They smiled. "Let's just hope that this works out for them. They deserve some happiness."


	79. Chapter 78: Never Kill A Boy On The Firs

Author's Note: The mood music for the date is "Fade Into You" By Mazzy Star. (I won't be posting the lyrics for this song.) The other song used in this chapter is "Make Someone Happy" By Jimmy Durante. The chapter title is more exciting than the actual chapter. I do hope you enjoy it though. Enjoy!

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Chapter 78: Never Kill A Boy On The First Date.

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Sirius led Sam down the hallway and smiled at her. "You really do look beautiful, Sammy." She smiled and blushed. "Thank you for agreeing to go on this date with me."

Sam bit her lip. "_Thank you for asking me._"

They stopped in front of the familiar doorway and his smile faltered when he saw the look on her face. "What's the matter, Baby?"

She stared at the door to the Room of Requirement before giving him a look. "_What is this?_" His eyebrow rose in question. "_You brought me here?_" He nodded slowly. "_You didn't really want a date, did you? You brought me here for a shag, didn't you?_"

His eyes widened and he shook his head aggressively. "N-No, I swear, I-I didn't bring you here for a shag!" She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him closely. He held in a groan. This was not how he wanted the night to start off. He scratched the back of his neck and gave her a nervous smile. "I-I know that we…uh…we came here to have sex before but that's not why I brought you here tonight." She kept staring at him. He sighed. "This room can be anything we want it to be. I brought you here for a date. We will have dinner and…maybe a dance or two if that's alright with you. I meant it when I said I wouldn't pressure you into anything. I'll be ready when you are ready for us to be together. I won't rush you." She looked down at the ground. He sighed again. "It's ok if you want to leave. I'll…I'll understand if you don't believe me. You can go."

She sighed. She touched his cheek. "_I believe you._" He looked at her in surprise. She gave him a small smile. "_I'm sorry I thought the worst of you…again._" He nodded slowly. "_I'd like it very much if we continued our date._"

Sirius beamed at her. "Are…are you sure?" She nodded and smiled. He took her hand and led her into the room. She gasped in surprise as he shut the door. The room was dimly lit and lights circled the room. There was a table and two chairs placed in the center of the room with candles. He hid his smile as he guided her over to the table. He pulled her chair out and waited for her to sit down before going to his seat. She was looking around the room in awe and he felt like patting himself on the back for a job well done. "Do…do you like it, Sammy?"

Sam was looking around the room before her eyes settled on him. A wide smile was on her face. "_It's beautiful, Sirius._" He smiled. She stared at him closely. "_Thank you for this._"

He let out a tiny laugh. "There is no reason to thank me just yet, Baby. Our night hasn't even begun." She stared at him with a curious smile. Food appeared in front of them and she gasped again. He laughed. "It pays to be nice to the house elves. They come through for you when you need it most." She laughed. They began to eat and tried to get over their nerves. He wiped his mouth on his napkin and smiled at her. "Is everything to your liking, Mrs. Black?"

She laughed and nodded. "_Yes, it is, Mr. Black. Thank you for asking._"

They finished their meal and shared a sigh of content. He gulped. "I don't want our night to be ruined but I have to ask you something important." She stared at him intently. "Sammy, I've been driving myself crazy wondering what I did to make you so mad that you stopped talking to me." She bit her lip. He sighed. "I love you, Sammy. I know I've hurt you a lot…especially this past year but I've been trying to make up for that." She nodded slowly. He pulled his chair over to her and held her hand. "I would do anything for you. I would do anything to make you happy. I'd do anything to make you come back to me." She had a small smile on her face. He licked his lips. "I know you agreed to talk to me and agreed to this date…" He took a deep breath. "I don't want our first date to be ruined but…can you please tell me what I did wrong this time now?"

The room was silent except for the faint music that played in the background. She squeezed his hand. "_You…I started reading things in the journal that reminded me too much of how you cheated on me and about what happened in the train between you and Sarah._" His eyes closed and a groan escaped his mouth. She sighed. "_It hit too close to home for me._"

Sirius nodded slowly. "I see." He sighed. "Tell me about what you read in the journal." She wrote down everything she had to tell him and waited for his response as he read her note. He looked at her closely. "Sammy, I understand why those entries reminded you of that but…I swear, I will never do that to you again." She looked away from him and sighed. He kissed the back of her hand. "Baby, I know that it reminded you of how I hurt you but I won't do that to you again. Your grandmother made a mistake by cheating on your grandfather and this guy made a mistake by cheating on her but we aren't them. We are different." She sighed. "We love each other." She looked at him closely. "I know I won't hurt you like that again because I regretted it and still do so much. When I hurt you, I hurt myself. You stopped looking at me like I was the greatest thing in the world to you and you started looking at me like I was scum. I hated that. I hated the fact that you didn't think of me in the same way as you used to. I'm trying to get that back. I'm trying my hardest to get that back for us so we can be together again and be happy. I don't want to hurt you anymore, Sammy. I just want us to be together. I swear, I'm not going to screw up like that again." She bit her lip. "I know I will screw up. I'm not perfect and we both know that. I will screw up again but I won't screw up in that way again." She nodded slowly. He got down on one knee. "I love you, Samantha. I mean it when I say that you are the only one for me. I never want to be without you ever again. Do you believe me?"

Sam stared at him closely. "_Are you telling me the truth, Sirius?_"

He nodded quickly. "Yes, I am. I've been honest with you since our wedding night."

She smiled. "_I believe you. I believe what you say._"

His eyes widened. "Y-You do?" She nodded. He laughed in delight. "This is wonderful!" She laughed. "Do you mean it, Sammy? Do you really believe me?"

She smiled and nodded. "_Yes, I do._" He beamed at her. "_I'm sorry I pushed you away and ignored you, Sirius. You didn't deserve that. I never want to hurt you but that's exactly what I did. I hope you can forgive me._"

Sirius caressed her cheek and smiled. "It's ok, Baby. I know and understand why you did it." She smiled. "Can you promise me something, please?" She nodded. "If you need space or if you are having a problem, just let me know so I won't go crazy and start sitting on you again." She laughed and nodded. "I just want us to be open and honest with each other like we were doing before."

Sam smiled. "_I promise._" He kissed her cheek. "_Alan and I have been letting go of the past. I've done it with Remus, James, and my…Harold._" He nodded slowly. "_You…we've started on you already but I just couldn't do it._" He smiled. "_I want to let go of the bad parts of our past not the good parts._" His smile grew. "_I might start acting distant but I promise it will be for a good reason._"

He sat back down in his seat. "I understand. I promise I won't freak out again and sit on you."

She laughed. "_That's good to know._" He winked at her. She kissed the corner of his mouth. "_I've missed you._" He smiled in surprise. "_I've missed talking to you, Sirius._"

Sirius kissed her cheek. "I've missed you too." She smiled. He kissed her cheek again. Sam moved her head and their lips touched. They looked at each other for a brief moment before leaning in and kissing again. Her tongue slid into his mouth with care as he brought her chair closer to him. She held his face in her hands and his hands surrounded her waist. A moan escaped his throat as their kiss continued. Their foreheads rested against each other after they pulled apart. He kissed her a few more times before pulling back and smiling. His thumb glided across her bottom lip. "What was that?" He whispered.

Sam smiled and blushed. "_It was kiss._" He nodded slowly. "_It was an…amazing kiss!_"

He let out a tiny laugh. "Yes, it was!" She laughed. He licked his lips. "Why did you kiss me?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "_I kissed you because…I don't know._" He eyed her closely. She laughed. "_I wanted to kiss you. I've always enjoyed kissing you._" He smirked. "_I've missed kissing you._"

He continued to smirk. "I _am_ a great kisser!" She laughed and rolled her eyes. He laughed. "I've missed kissing you too." She winked at him. He laughed again. "You're such a smartass." She nodded eagerly. He kissed her before standing up. He held out his hand and bowed. She laughed. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me, Mrs. Black?"

She took his hand and curtsied. They laughed. "_I'd be honored to dance with you, Mr. Black._"

They stood off to the side and shared a smile. He took her hand in his and brought her closer to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and stared at him intently. He rubbed her side gently. Their temples rested against each other for a brief moment before he pulled back and smiled at her. "Quick, quick, slow." He muttered. She looked at him oddly and laughed. He blushed. "I, sometimes, have trouble remembering the steps. This helps me." She smiled and pinched his cheek. He laughed. "Thank you for not making fun of me."

She kissed his cheek. "_I do it too._"

Sirius smiled in surprise. "You do it too?" She nodded. He laughed. "That's good to know." She rolled her eyes. "Are you ready to waltz?" She laughed and nodded. They danced around the room and he smiled as she kept laughing. He was making her have a good time. He was making her laugh and smile. He was making her happy and he never knew he could feel so good just by being the one to make her feel such joy. Sirius smirked when he picked her up and spun her around. She laughed in surprise. He held her close to him before dipping her. He brought her up slowly and stared at her. Sam smiled and caressed his cheek. He smiled as she rested his forehead against hers. His arms surrounded her waist as she put her arms around his neck. "I love you, Samantha." He whispered. She smiled. "You're all I think about. You're all I've ever wanted." She bit her lip. "Do you love me?" She nodded. "Am I all you've ever wanted?" She nodded again. "If you could, knowing what you do now, would you…?" He took a deep breath. Her eyebrows furrowed together. "If you could, knowing what you do now, would you marry me all over again?"

Sam caressed his cheek and smiled. "_I think…_" He gulped. "_I know a lot has happened between us. A lot has happened to us._" He nodded slowly._ "I think, even after everything, I would still marry you._"

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "You…you would still marry me after everything?"

She nodded. "_Yes, I would._"

Sirius picked her up and spun her around as he laughed. "You would marry me!" Sam laughed into his neck. He looked at her with a doofy smile. "I never knew…I can't believe I'm so excited that my wife wants to marry me." She laughed again. He set her down. "Does this mean we are back together?"

Sam sighed. "_I'm sorry. It doesn't._" He had a pained look on his face. "_I still love you and always will but I have to be…alone in a sense._" He looked down at the ground. "_Sirius, I won't be with anyone but you._" Sirius looked at her oddly. "_We are together in a way. We just won't be together like that._"

He shook his head. "I wasn't thinking about sex…for once."

She smiled. "_I believe you._" He nodded. "_We will always be married. We will always love each other. We are just going through a rough patch right now. I hope we work things out. I just want the past to stop haunting me so I can be happy. I want us to be together and happy._" He nodded again. "_We can be together…as friends for a while._" He held in a groan. He was starting to really and truly hate the word friends. "_We can still talk, spend time together, and…_" He stared at her closely. "_We can kiss…on occasion._" He laughed and nodded eagerly. She smiled. "_I swear, I won't be with anyone but you._" He smiled. "_Is this alright? I know it is a lot to ask of you. I know I shouldn't ask this of you but can you still stand by me with no guarantees? There is a chance we might not end up together and I can't sleep with you. I'm asking a lot of you and that isn't right. I'm sorry._"

Sirius sighed. "It is a lot to ask." She nodded quickly. "The fact that there is chance we won't end up together hurts because I don't want us to end." She stared at him. "But I'm willing to risk it for you." She looked at him in surprise. "I can deal with being your friend and your husband with chances of getting just a kiss because that's what we were before we got together…minus the husband part." She smiled. "I don't want to be with anyone else so you don't have to worry about me cheating on you again." She smiled again. He held her face in his hands. "I love you, Sammy. Nothing will ever change that."

Sam held him closer. "_I wish things were different so we could be together._"

He gave her a small smile. "Can we be together, please?" She looked at him oddly. "If you think about it, we both won't be with anyone else and we will be spending time together and kissing…occasionally. We will be together. We just won't be having sex! So, when you think about it, we will be like any couple that's been married for years!" She laughed. He smiled. "Can we be together even if you need to be alone?" She smiled at him. He licked his lips. "Can we, Sammy?"

She took a deep breath. "_Yes, we can._"

Sirius smiled and caressed her cheek. "I'm going to tell everyone that we are back together." She laughed. He licked his lips. "Now, I'm just going to kiss you…a lot if you let me." Her eyes were closing as she leaned in. He smirked before moving his head closer to hers. "I guess you are going to let me." Their kiss was slow and full of purpose. His hand caressed her neck as his tongue slid into her mouth. Her arms tightened around his neck and moved her body closer to his. His hands slid down her body and rested on her sides. He sucked on her bottom lip. "I love you." She kissed his chin. He brought her with him as he sat down in a chair. He made her sit on his lap. They started kissing again. He moaned against her mouth. Their mouths opened wide as their kiss deepened. He started kissing her neck and she stiffened. Sirius moved his head and started kissing her lips again before she pulled away. Sam held his face in her hands. He pulled her closer. He decided to try a brave move and slid his hand under her skirt. She pulled away. He sighed. "I'm stopping. I promise I'm not going to pressure you, Baby." She nodded slowly and blushed. He smiled. "We are making some real progress, love. That's the longest we've kissed since you came back." Her blush grew. He caressed her cheek and continued to smile. "Why are you embarrassed? We did a good thing, Sammy. You are getting comfortable with me again. It's a good thing." She looked away from him and bit her lip. "What is it, love?"

Sam looked at him and gave him a shy smile. "_You…you make me want to do things that I'm no where being ready for._" He smirked. "_It scares me a little._"

His eyes widened. "I scare you?"

She shook her head. "_No, you don't scare me._" He nodded slowly. "_It's the way you make me feel and the way you make me want to try and do things I'm not able to do anymore that scares me. You are the only one with that affect on me._"

Sirius' smirk reappeared and she rolled her eyes. "I make you want to do things you aren't ready for and I'm the only one who has that affect on you?" She rolled her eyes again and laughed. He nibbled on her ear. "That was a very dangerous thing to tell me, Sammy." She smiled as she swatted at him. He laughed. "You're cute when you try to ignore that I'm right." She made a face at him. He laughed again. "I love you too, Baby." They held each other tightly for a moment before resting their foreheads against each other. "You make me want to do things I never knew I was capable of and that scares me too." She smiled and caressed his cheek. He gave her a brief kiss. "Will you stay with me tonight?" She smirked as her eyebrow rose. He laughed. "I don't mean sex. I just want to sleep. Will you stay with me tonight, Sammy?" She rested her forehead against his and winked before shaking her head and smiling. He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. She laughed. "Why won't you spend the night with me?"

Sam smiled. "_I told you. You make me want to do things I'm not ready for._" He smiled and nodded. "_Plus, I don't sleep with anyone on the first date._"

He laughed and kissed her. "That's good to know. I'll have to remember that."

She slapped his arm and laughed. "_You're such a git!_"

Sirius tickled her and smiled as she laughed. "You know I'm a git! That's why you love me!" She held onto him while he continued to tickle her. "You're a git too because you love me!" She bit her lip and smiled. He kissed her slowly. "I do love you." She kissed him. He smiled. "I don't want this night to end, Sammy."

Sam snuggled into him. "_Neither do I, Sirius._" He smiled again. "_Thank you for tonight. This was the best first date I've ever been on._"

They stood up and walked back to the common room. "This was the best first date you've ever been on?" She squeezed his hand when he held hers and smiled. He stared at her closely and smiled when she nodded. "Was it even better than your first date with Moony when he took you to the ball?" She stopped walking and sighed. He stared at her in surprise. "What's the matter?"

She stared at him closely. "_Are you and Remus still trying to compete for me?_" He blinked. "_Are you?_" He sighed. "_The two of you should stop wasting your time competing for something that can't be won._"

His eyes widened. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Her eyebrow rose. "_I'm not a prize to be won. There is no sense in competing._" He nodded slowly. "_If it was a competition, you already won._" He smiled. "_Remus wanted me back but you got stuck with me._" He shook his head. "_You married me. You won. The competition is over._"

Sirius sighed. "Sam, there isn't a competition anymore. Remus knows you would never cheat on me. He has given up on you but I would never give up on you." She eyed him closely. "And, just so you know, I'm not stuck with you. I want to be with you." She nodded. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. "Are you satisfied with my very truthful answer, Mrs. Black?" She laughed and nodded. He smiled and kissed her. "That's good." She smiled. "We aren't competing for you anymore. I promise we aren't." She nodded. "Now, let's forget we had this discussion and end our first date on a high note."

Sam kissed him. "_I like the sound of that, Mr. Black._" He smiled. "_I want you to be the first to know something._" He motioned for her to continue. "_I'm getting close to finishing the journal. I'll be able to talk again soon._" His smile grew. "_I promised that you would be the first one I would talk to so I thought you would like to know._"

He picked her up and laughed. "I get to hear your voice again?" She smiled and nodded. Their hold tightened around each other. "I've missed your voice." She kissed him. "I'm excited to hear your voice again." They continued to walk and ignored the boys as he walked her to the stairs. He kissed her. "I had fun tonight. Did you?" She nodded eagerly. He smiled. "Have sweet dreams tonight, Sammy." She smiled. They hugged and kissed. "I love you." She placed her hand over his heart and winked. They kissed again before she walked up the stairs.

The boys watched in amusement as Sirius waltzed around the common room and hummed. James smirked. "I take it that the date was a success?"

Sirius smiled and waltzed over to the couch where James was sitting. He laughed as he fell backwards onto the couch. "It was the best date of my life!"

They laughed. "Did she finally put out?" Kevin laughed.

He sat up and glared at him. "Don't talk about her like that!"

Their eyes widened. Kevin gulped. "I-I didn't mean it like that! I-I would n-never talk about her like that! I-I was just joking, Black!"

Frank shook his head in surprise. "You need to relax a bit, mate. You know he didn't mean anything by it."

Chris rolled his eyes. "How did it go?"

Sirius smiled. "It was wonderful!" They laughed. "She loves me!"

Remus laughed. "Yes, we know that. Try telling us something new."

He sighed in content. "She said she would marry me all over again even after everything!"

James smiled. "That's great!"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "Yes, it is!" They laughed. "She said it was the best first date she'd ever been on!"

Remus' head snapped up. "What did you say?" They shifted uncomfortably. Sirius sighed and shrugged. "That's…uh…that's great for you, Padfoot. Congratulations."

He sighed again. "Moony, she may have just meant that it was the best first date we've been on together."

He held up his hand and shook his head. "There's no reason to explain anything, Sirius. The two of you are getting along. That's great. I hope you two are able to get past everything and get back together."

"We are back together."

They gasped. "You're what?" They exclaimed in unison.

Sirius laughed. "We are back together! She said we are back together!" They cheered. "But we can't have sex." They laughed. He shrugged. "She promised to be celibate. I promised not to cheat on her again. So, that's the way it is. I want her back so if I have to wait to be with her than that's just what I'll do." James smiled at him. Sirius sat back in his chair and closed his eyes as he sighed in content. "She kissed me. We danced. She kissed me some more. She said she missed me. She still loves me and we are back together. She will be getting her voice back soon and I can't wait!" They smiled. He let out a tiny laugh. "I know that this may make me sound like a big girl but I don't care! I love her! I love my wife and couldn't be happier!" He yelled.

Sam smiled at them as she walked over to the couch. They looked at her and smiled. "_I could hear you idiots yelling all the way upstairs._"

He beamed at her. The boys hid their laughter. "Did we wake you up?" She laughed and shook her head after he kissed her. She waved good night to the boys and went to the stairs. Remus stared at her retreating form with sadness in his eyes. Sirius smiled in surprise when Sam turned around and motioned for him to come over. He was by her side in seconds. "You wanted to see me, love?" Sam smiled. His heart raced when she kissed him. "Will you reconsider my offer?" Her eyebrow rose in question. He licked his lips. "Will you spend the night with me?" She laughed and shook her head. He groaned. "I understand." She bopped him on the nose. He laughed. "Will you, at least, help and…put me to bed?" Sam laughed. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and smirked. "I promise I won't try anything." She eyed him closely. He laughed. "Ok, I will try and kiss you but I swear that's it."

She laughed. "_You're such a git._" He nodded and smiled. She took his hand in hers and smiled. "_Let's get you to bed._"

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm excited." She rolled her eyes and laughed. He kissed her before turning to look at the others. They were smirking at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, gentlemen! My wife is putting me to bed!" He winced when she slapped him upside his head. They laughed. "Thank you, dear." She pulled him to the stairs. "I'm coming, Baby!"

They rolled their eyes and laughed. "They deserve each other." Chris muttered.

Frank yawned. "Well, I'm beat. I'm going to bed." They nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Kevin and Chris stood up. "We're going too. 'Night."

James waited until he was sure that they were gone before he spoke. "Are you alright, Moony?" Remus nodded while reading his book. He laughed. "You're lying." He rolled his eyes in response. He sighed. "You have to get over her, Remus."

Remus sighed as he closed his book and looked at him closely. "I am over her, Prongs. I am."

He rolled his eyes. "No, you're not." He sighed again. "The way you reacted when he told you what she said and when you saw her said it all. You have to get over her. She is married to Sirius now. It's time you moved on."

He looked down at the ground. "I know she is married to him. I was at their wedding just like you and Lily were." James nodded. "I am moving on. I am interested in Mary now. She is interested in me. Things are good."

James patted him on the back. "Things will be better once you let Sam go."

Remus nodded. "I know. It just surprised me when he told us that she said that their date was the best she ever had. It also surprised me when she took him back even though it shouldn't have." He sighed again. "I still love Sam. A part of me always will. Nothing will make her come back to me since she is married to Sirius and I know that. I'm trying to move on. I hope I can move on with Mary."

"So do I, Moony. So do I."

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Sirius was walking down the hall with his friends after classes and his face lit up when he saw her across the hall. He ran over to her and smiled. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Black." She looked away from Lilac and smiled at him. He beamed at her. All day, he made sure to go out of his way and say hello to her. He loved that with just a simple gesture, it made her smile. "You look as lovely as ever, my dear." She blushed. Lilac rolled her eyes. Sirius caressed her cheek. "Did you have a good day, love?" Sam beamed at him and nodded. His smile grew. "I did too." She nodded again. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I can't stop thinking about our date last night." Her blush grew. "That was the best time I ever had." She laughed and bit her lip. "Can we do it again sometime?" A smirk appeared on her face as she nodded. He laughed. "I'm glad to hear it."

Lilac glared at him. "You do realize we were talking, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "And, now, I'm talking to her. Is that a problem?"

She sneered at him. "Yes, it is. Why do you have to bother her?"

Sirius groaned. "I'm not bothering her!" She rolled her eyes. He looked at Sam. "Am I bothering you, Baby?" Sam sighed and shook her head slowly. He smirked at Lilac. "You were wrong once again, Lilac!"

Lilac growled. "I was right about you being an asshole."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Lilac, it's obvious he doesn't care what you think about him." Sirius nodded eagerly. "And, Sam wants him around." Sam nodded. "So, retract your claws and calm down."

He laughed. "Thank you for that, Alice." She smiled at him. "I always knew I liked you for a reason." She laughed. "You are the best!"

She rolled her eyes again. "Save it, Sirius. I appreciate the kind words but save them for Sam."

Sirius nodded and smiled. "As you wish, Alice." She laughed. He took Sam's hand in his. "May I have this dance, Sammy?" Sam looked at him oddly. He laughed. He thrust her books into Lilac's chest. "Hold that. Would you, please?" Lilac sneered and growled. "You are sounding much better, Lilac. You sound more like your kind." Her face scrunched up in confusion. "You sound like a hyena. That is your kind, isn't it?" The girls hid their laughter. Patty had to hold Lilac back. Sirius pulled Sam closer to him and they started waltzing in the middle of the hallway. Everyone turned to stare when Sirius started singing to her. The boys leaned against the wall and watched in amusement. "_Make someone happy. Make just one someone happy. Make just one heart the heart you sing to._"

Lily smiled. "That's sweet." The girls, minus Lilac, nodded eagerly and sighed dreamily. They wished their boyfriends would be as sweet and romantic as Sirius was with Sam. He wanted to make sure his wife was happy and he wanted her to know he loved her. "Sirius can be a real great guy when he wants to be." They nodded. "I wish James would do something like that for me."

They sighed. "So do I." They said in unison.

She smiled as they danced. "I hope Sam knows how lucky she is."

He smiled at her as he continued to sing to her. "_One smile that cheers you. One face that lights when it nears you. One girl you're everything to._" Sam blushed when he winked at her. "_Fame, if you win it, comes and goes in a minute. Where's the real stuff in life to cling to?_" He pulled her closer and kissed her. "_Love is the answer. Someone to love is the answer._" Sam gazed at him with wide eyes and a soft smile. She couldn't believe how amazing Sirius could be. "_Once you've found her, build your world around her._" He rested his forehead against hers and smiled. "_Make someone happy. Make just one someone happy._" Sirius picked her up and spun her around. Sam bit her lip and smiled as she stared at him. "_And, you will be happy too._" He dipped her before bringing her up slowly. "Thank you for the dance, love." They blushed and laughed when they were greeted with applause. They bowed. "Thank you. Thank you." He kissed her. "I love you." She nodded eagerly. He smiled. "I'll let you get back to your friends now. I'll see you later."

Lily laughed when Sirius walked away and Sam was in a daze as she watched him go. "That was interesting." Sam nodded dumbly. "Sirius is something, isn't he?" She nodded eagerly. She laughed again. "Then what are you doing here? Go after him, git!"

Sam looked at her with a wide smile. "_Thank you, Lily!_" She mouthed. Lily nodded and waved her off.

She ran after him. "That was amazing, Sirius!" Frank exclaimed. The boys nodded eagerly. "But the only down side is that our girlfriends will wish that we do the same thing as you."

Sirius laughed. "It's not a bad idea to do that for them. They will enjoy it." He stopped walking when someone tapped his shoulder. He turned in confusion. He beamed when he saw her. "How can I help you, love?" Sam nodded at the boys before grabbing Sirius by his shirt and kissing him. Their jaws dropped. They knew she had trouble being touched and weren't expecting that. Sirius stared at her with wide eyes. He smiled in amazement. Sirius pulled her back to him and kissed her. She caressed his cheek and smiled. "What was that for, Sammy?"

Sam winked at him. "_Thank you for the dance, love._" He smiled. "_Thank you for reminding me how wonderful you really are._" His eyes widened in delight. "_I love you._"

He felt like he could walk on air. "You…you love me?" She laughed and nodded. He picked her up and held her close to him. "Are you doing anything before meeting Alan?" She shook her head. "We are spending time together." She smiled. "Is that alright with you?" She nodded. He threw her over his shoulder and smiled at the others. They were smirking at him. "I'll see you later! I'm spending the day with my wife!"

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Sam danced into Dumbledore's office and laughed when she thought about how she spent her day with Sirius. She didn't notice Alan staring at her with a raised eyebrow. She twirled and hummed along to the music playing inside her head. Alan looked at her in amusement. "Did you have a good day, Samantha?" She beamed at him. He smirked. "You had a great day with Sirius." She laughed and grabbed his hands. Alan eyed her closely as she made him dance around the room with her. "This is rather inappropriate, Samantha." Sam rolled her eyes and pulled him along. He laughed and sighed. "I see you won't take no as an answer." She nodded eagerly and he shrugged before they continued dancing. Alan smiled when she laughed as he dipped her. "That was…fun and interesting in a very odd way." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Well, let's get started."

She sighed. "_Do we have to_?"

Alan's eyebrow rose in question. "Is there a problem, Sam?"

Sam sighed again. "_I…I don't think we should continue with what we were doing._"

He eyed her closely. "Why is that?" She gave him a look. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You are still in love with Sirius." She nodded slowly. "Are you kidding me?" She looked at him oddly. "No, are you seriously kidding me?"

She shook her head. "_No, I'm not._" He gave her a look. "_Yes, I still love him. He keeps showing and reminding me of why I love him. I don't want to give him up now._" She explained about their date and their dance in the hall after classes. He looked at her in amusement. "_So, you see, he has reminded me of why I loved him in the first place._"

Alan laughed. "That's sweet." She rolled her eyes. "We have to continue."

Sam groaned. "_Why do we have to continue_?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sam, when we first started meeting, you told me that you wanted nothing to do with Sirius! All he has ever done is hurt you and you said you wanted to let him go! You couldn't bear to be in love with someone with such little respect for you! I agreed to help you! I promised to help and you promised to go through with it! I never break a promise and I won't let you break this promise to me or to yourself!"

She glared at him. "_Things were different then, Alan! I just left him and I was upset! He kept lying to me but…but its different now! He is different now_!"

"He is still the same, Samantha! He is still the same person that has hurt you before! He is just covering it with fancy words and gestures! And, you are falling for it all over again!"

"_It's different this time! He means what he says this time! I believe he wants only me this time! That's why we got back together_!"

Alan gave her a look. She held in a groan. She didn't mean to let that slip out. "The two of you got back together?" She nodded slowly. "Do you want to be crazy?" She sneered at him. He sat down and sighed. "Sam, you have made some real progress. I don't want you to give that up just because you are starting to have fuzzy feelings for your husband again." She sighed. "I just want you to realize how much potential you have. You can be such a strong person but if you keep changing your mind like this…" He sighed. "Sam, you wanted to let go of him. You have to let go of him if you want to get better."

Sam had a pained look on her face. "_I love him, Alan. I just can't do it. I'm not strong enough to let him go._"

He groaned. "You are strong enough! I know you are! You just have to be willing!" She shook her head. "Sam, I know this is hard for you but it has to be done!" She sighed. "I can't believe this! You are willing to give up everything you worked hard for over _one_ date with him? That's complete bullshit!"

She looked down at the ground. "_He loves me. I love him._"

Alan gritted his teeth. "He is also one of the reasons why you tried to kill yourself!" She glared at him. "Sirius couldn't keep it in his pants but that doesn't matter because he took you on a date? Is that what you are telling me, Samantha?"

Sam groaned. "_I'm not saying that! It's more than just a date! He was there for me when I tore my stitches…both times! He was there for me when I bumped into Severus, he is standing by me while I'm silent and during my celibacy vow, and he stood by me when I ignored him! The old Sirius wouldn't have done that for me!_"

He shook his head and sighed. "The old Sirius would have stayed by you." She looked at him in surprise. "He just would have played games with you while doing it." She sighed. "You won't give him up, Sam. You'll just be giving up the bad memories he has caused you to have."

She looked at him closely. "_But there is a chance, that if we continue, I will give him up completely._"

He nodded slowly. "That's always a possibility." She sighed. "But you have to do it! This will help you get over the shit he has pulled. It will help you forgive him and it will help you decide if you want to be with him again or not." She bit her lip. "Are you…?" He stared at her. "Are we going to continue or not?"

She took a deep breath. "_We can continue._"

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear it! You won't regret it!" She shrugged. He rolled his eyes. "That's the enthusiastic girl I know!" She had a small smile on her face. He laughed. "Go gear up and we will begin." She nodded. He tied the gloves tightly and smiled. "Are you ready to begin?" She nodded. He smiled. "Ok, get into your fighting stance." She rolled her eyes and nodded. He went through the routine. His eyes were wide as saucers. The stuffing from the punching bag was peeking out of a small hole after she was done. He blinked. "And, I haven't even gotten to the recent years yet." He muttered. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "Do you need a minute?" She shook her head. He nodded slowly. "Let's start again." She stood in front of the punching bag and sighed. "Sarah-" She attacked the punching bag that looked like Sirius. He gulped. "I see that that's still a sore subject." He mumbled.

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Sam shivered as she stood on top of the astronomy tower. She had finished her grandmother's journal and this was the last thing she had to do before her vow of silence was done. She had to do a vision quest. She found another letter from her grandmother. She was supposed to go to the astronomy tower again and meditate. It would calm and relax her enough to begin the quest. She sat in the middle of the tower and sighed. She would be in a deep trance if this worked. Dumbledore would come soon to get her. He would have someone bring her to her room while she was in the trance. She would soon be finished and hopefully, the vow helped.

She began her meditation. It felt like forever as she waited for it to work. The winds picked up like she knew they would and her body began to relax. Her eyes were closed and her body slumped before she fell back against the stone ground gently. She appeared to be asleep but in reality, she was in a deep trance. The spell had worked. Sam's vision quest had begun.

Dumbledore stepped out of the shadows and looked down at her peaceful face. He sighed. He had agreed to let her experiment with the vision quest as long as he stayed with her while she did it. She asked him to stay in the shadows so she could believe she was alone while she did it. He had a faint smile on his face as he watched her. "I wish you luck, Samantha." He sighed. "I do hope you find the answers to your questions."

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There were carpets thrown across the floor in every direction. Portraits overlapped on the walls. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace and there were armchairs in front of it. Sam took a look around before sitting down in one of the chairs by the fire. "What is this place?" She muttered.

"It's hell."

Sam jumped. "Who said that?" She yelled while pointing her wand towards the darkness. "Show yourself now!"

Kathleen smirked. "What are you going to do with that, Sammy? Are you going to hex me?" Sam lowered her wand and stared at her with wide eyes. She smiled. "Do you recognize me, Sammy?" She nodded slowly as she paled. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

She blinked. "I-I…are you real?" She nodded slowly. "What…?" She shook her head. "What's going on? Why are you here? What is this place?"

She laughed lightly and stepped closer to her. "It's ok, Sammy. You need to calm down." She smiled. "You finished the journal, right?" She nodded. "This is a sort of a…uh…dream world, if you will." Her eyebrow rose. She rolled her eyes. "I know it sounds corny but it is the truth." She shrugged. "I am here because I will be a guide to you. I will help in any way I can." She sat back down on the chair in a huff. She eyed her closely. "Aren't you going to say anything?" Sam stared at her. "Aren't you going to give your grandmother a hug?" She shook her head. She gave her a look. "Why can't I get a hug?"

She bit her lip. "I can't be touched." She mumbled. Kathleen sighed as she sat down on the table in front of her. "I have trouble being touched."

She held her hands and sighed. "The attack?" She looked down at the ground and nodded. She smiled. "You can touch here, Sammy. You can touch here."

She looked at her. "How do you know that?"

Her smile grew. "This is a safe place. Anything is possible here." She looked unsure. "You are able to talk here." Her eyes widened. "Or, haven't you noticed that yet?"

She blinked. "I can talk?" She nodded eagerly. She let out a tiny laugh. "I've missed being able to do that." She smiled. "Anything is possible here?"

She caressed her cheek. "Yes, it is." Her chin trembled. "Can I get that hug now?" She shook her head. She gave her a look. "Why not?"

She glared at her. "You cheated on Grandpa!" She sighed and nodded. "He loved you! He loved you but you didn't care! You got what you wanted and didn't give a shit that you hurt him!"

Kathleen stared at her. "Sammy…" Sam stood up and turned her back on her. She sighed again. "I did love your grandfather." She scoffed. Her eyebrow rose. "Listen to me, little girl!" Sam glanced at her. "I loved your grandfather! Yes, I made some terrible mistakes and I regret all the times I cheated on him! It took me a very long time to realize that he was the one for me all along but at least I realized it!" She touched her shoulder. "Sammy, he forgave me." She shrugged. She laughed. "You don't forgive easily, do you?" She shook her head. "You are exactly like your mother…and me." Sam looked at her in confusion. "Evelyn had a hard time forgiving Harold after he cheated on her." Sam's mouth hung open in shock. Her eyes widened. "You didn't know about that, did you?" She shook her head. She gulped. "I thought Sirius or James would have told you."

Sam stared at her in shock. "They…they know about this?" She nodded. "Why didn't they tell me about this?" She shrugged. "How long have they known? Did they always know?" She opened her mouth to speak but she cut her off. She stared at her with tears in her eyes. "How could he do that to her? How could _he_ hurt Mama like that?" Kathleen had a pained look on her face. "I knew he was a jerk but I didn't think he'd hurt her like that."

She blinked. "Sammy, what's gotten into you?" She shook her head. "You are close to your father as much as Evelyn was to hers."

She gritted her teeth. "Harold is not my father anymore!" Her eyes widened. "_He _gave up on me! _He_ gave me up! _He _can just go to hell for all I care!" She blinked. She started to cry. "I made a mistake by hitting him but…but _he_ gave up on me!" Kathleen stared at her closely. "He was the only one who would stand by me when Mama would get weird and try to control everything. He was my Daddy and I loved him so much but he gave up on me when I wanted out of my marriage." She put her arms around her. "He is no better than Sirius. They lie and cheat. That's all anyone does. They have someone who loves them so much and they throw it all away for some dumb slut in a short skirt!"

She rubbed her back as she cried. "I don't have an answer to that. I wish I did but I don't." She cried into her neck. "You've been hurt a lot, haven't you, kiddo?" She had trouble breathing as she nodded. "Remus cheated on you, and then Sirius did." She cried harder. "Learning that your Daddy is even less than perfect than you found out hurts a lot, doesn't it?" She nodded. She wiped Sam's eyes and sighed. "People make mistakes, Sammy. I made them. Harold made them and even Sirius did." She stared at her. "But despite our mistakes, we still loved the people we were meant to be with. I know it doesn't make any sense but it is the truth, sweetheart."

She pulled away. "I don't want to be in love anymore. It hurts too much."

She gave her a small smile. "But you are, Sammy. You are in love with Sirius and you always have been. You always will be in love with him."

She shook her head. "I don't want to be!"

She held her face in her hands and smiled. "But you are." She held her tightly. "Sammy, he loves your mother very much. Harold made a mistake when he was younger but she found it in herself to forgive him." She stared at her closely. "Sirius made a mistake but he knows that. He regrets all the times he has hurt you. He is very sorry. He just wants you to know that."

She wiped her eyes. "I do know he is sorry and that he regrets it." She smiled. "But how do I know he won't do it again?" She sighed. "I can't stop thinking about him with her. It's always in the back of my mind. I still feel the way I did when he broke up with me. I loved him so much but he didn't care about that. He got what he wanted and didn't care if it hurt me."

She sighed. "He did care. He does care." She shook her head. "Yes, he does." She continued to cry. "He wanted to stop but he acted before he could think. He felt horrible. All he has ever wanted was you, Baby. He just got scared but he isn't scared about his feelings for you anymore. The only thing he is scared about…is losing you. Sirius wants you back. He wants his life to be with you." They eased down onto the chair and she held her as she cried. Kathleen sighed when she rubbed her back. It felt like hours had passed. Sam was finally starting to let go. She let her take her time. This was a long time coming and she wasn't going to rush her. Sam was calming down. Kathleen smiled at her. "How do you feel?"

She bit her lip. "I feel…better. I feel lighter." She smiled. "Is that good?"

Kathleen nodded eagerly. "That is very good. You are on your way to getting better." She gave her a small smile. She winked at her. "You will forgive him soon. I know you will." She laughed. "The moment I saw Sirius…the moment I saw him see you for the first time…I knew he was perfect for you!" Sam looked at her oddly. She laughed again. "Sammy, I've been watching over you since the moment you were born! The night I died, I was able to watch over all of you." She blinked. She laughed. "I was there when you were born, when you had your first vision, your first kiss, your first…uh…yea…" Sam blushed. She nudged her. "I was there when you had your first dream about Sirius and I was there when the two of you met." She laughed. "He was floored when he saw you. He went through the train searching for you." Her blush grew. She smiled at her. "Sirius loved you the moment he saw you…just like you loved him the moment you saw him."

Sam smiled. "Is that true?" She nodded eagerly. She let out a tiny laugh. "He has told me that but I just thought he was full of it." She laughed. She looked at her. "I…" She hugged her tightly. Kathleen smiled in surprise. They held each other for a few moments before Sam pulled away and stared at her with wide eyes. "It's really you!" Kathleen laughed and nodded. "Oh my! I've always wanted to meet you! I heard so much about you! I can't believe I'm meeting you! I have so many questions! I can't believe it! I can't believe this!" She blinked. "How is this possible? I can touch you but you are dead! Is this a dream?"

She stared at her with wide eyes. She couldn't believe how fast she was talking and the amount of questions that came flying out of her mouth. "Sammy, you need to calm down and breathe!" Sam blinked. "I can answer your questions. You just need to give me a chance." She nodded slowly. "This isn't a dream but it is." Her head cocked to the side. "You are dreaming right now but this is also a vision. I am here because you needed to see me. You can feel me because…I don't know. I think it is so you won't freak out. If I was just an image or you saw a rotted corpse, you would scream and nothing would get accomplished." She laughed lightly. "Ok, what else would you like to know?"

She thought for a moment. "Was Grandpa really the one for you?" She smiled brightly and nodded. "Is he with you?" She nodded again. "Do you ever see Alex?"

She shrugged. "He is still alive and I check on him once in a while." She nodded. "Do you regret loving Sirius?"

She sighed. "I do…sometimes. After every time he hurts me or lies to me, I regret loving him. I regret meeting him and spending all those years wanting him. I start to wonder…what if I never had that dream about him before we met? What if I never had a crush on him? What if I was meant to be with someone else?"

She smiled. "I can clear those things up for you!" Her eyebrow rose. "If you never had that dream, you would have still been shy around him and thought he was cute. If you never had a crush on him, he would have still been in love with you but the two of you would have been close friends a lot sooner. If you were meant to be with someone else, Sirius would have still been in love with you and he would do everything to break up your relationship."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "That sounds about right." She laughed. "What…what would it be like if I was meant to be with Remus?"

She shrugged. "Things would be how they turned out now." She sighed. "But you would get back together and…you would be poor but happy before you died."

She nodded slowly. "I see." She stared at her. "Patrick?"

She laughed. "The two of you would have destroyed each other before you got married to…Severus." She choked before paling. "Patrick would have destroyed you in a deep way and you would have went running to Severus. He would have made it worse and you would have died without any of your friends or family on your side."

She blinked. "That's a pleasant thought." She shrugged. "Michael?"

She sighed. "The two of you would have been content but it would never be like it is with Sirius." She looked at her closely. "It would lack the passion and fire you have with your husband. It would be without the deep love you have with him and you would kill yourself because you are so unhappy."

She shook her head. "I'm so happy I asked."

She smirked. "I bet you are." She shrugged. "There is one what if you didn't ask." Her head cocked to the side. "It is about Sirius." She nodded slowly. "Tell me, Sam. Are you brave enough to ask what I'm talking about? Are you?"


	80. Chapter 79: Redefinition Part One

Author's Note: Hey! This is a _**very long**_ chapter. I had to spilt it up into two chapters. I did my best to proof but the chapter is just so long and if I missed anything, I apologize. I hope you have a couple days free to read it all. Yesterday was my birthday. There's no reason for me to tell you but I did. So…yay me! The mood music for this chapter includes four songs. They are "I Think We're Alone Now" By Tiffany, "Eyes" By Rogue Wave, "Nothing Else Matters" By Metallica, and "If Everyone Cared" By Nickelback. (Not necessarily in that order). I have such a love/hate relationship with Nickelback. I love some of their songs and I hate them for it. Lol I have issues. Well, I'll shut up now. I hope you enjoy this chapter. To be quite honest, it is my favorite chapter hands down. It was so much fun to write and to see how things might have worked out. I've said too much! Enjoy! Please, let me know what you thought of this chapter. Good or bad, it doesn't matter! Once again, enjoy!

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Chapter 79: Redefinition. (Part One).

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Sam eyed her closely. "What are you talking about? Why do I have to be brave to ask about Sirius?" Kathleen smirked and shrugged. She looked at her with impatient eyes. "Well, what about Sirius? Are you going to tell me or not?"

Kathleen laughed. "Yes, I will tell you." She smiled. "Did you ever wonder what would have happened if Remus didn't kiss you that night while you were still with Patrick?" She looked confused. "Do you remember when Sirius and Remus caught you with Patrick? You were making out with him and you had your…?" She blushed. She smiled. "I see that you do." She nodded. "Well, Sirius…he had the urge to go with you instead of Patrick but he changed his mind because he was afraid of what he would do to you if he was alone with you." Her eyes widened. "Would you like to know what would have happened if Sirius did what he should have done? Would you like to know how things should have turned out instead of how they are now?" She nodded slowly. "You have to say it!"

She laughed. "I would like to know how things should have turned out, Grandma!"

She smiled. "Are you sure?" She gave her a look. Her smile grew. "Ok, you want to know." She nodded eagerly. "Let's begin. We are going to the night where they caught you and we will see how things should have gone." She nodded slowly. "Are you ready?" She shrugged. "Are you ready, Samantha?"

She sighed. "I guess so." Her eyebrow rose. "I'm ready as I'll ever be." She laughed. "Let's do this."

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Sirius' fists clenched as his eyes narrowed. He watched as Sam was being molested by that asshole. He couldn't think straight. He was beyond angry. He glanced at Remus. He was just as shocked as he was. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "What the fuck is going on?" They jumped apart. He had to fight the urge to hit Patrick in his smug face. Sam stared at them with a mix of shock and horror. "Remus, take Patrick for a walk! I need to have a little chat with Samantha!" He ordered. Remus nodded and dragged Patrick off by the scruff of his neck. Sirius turned to Sam and groaned. "For all that is holy in this world, cover yourself up, Samantha!" She looked down and blushed while she buttoned up her shirt. She wouldn't look at him and he was glad. He didn't know if he was capable of looking her in the eye either. He felt like he was on fire. Seeing that asshole touching and kissing her made his blood boil. He didn't understand how Sam could let that dick touch her when she loved him. How could she let Captain Peroxide grope her when she was his? She belonged to him! Sirius' eyes widened when that thought hit. He stared at the top of her head and saw her scalp turn red. "Come on, Sam." She looked up slowly. "Let's go back to the common room and talk."

He grabbed her arm and they walked down the hallway in silence. She struggled to keep up because he was walking so fast. Sam tried to pull her arm away but he tightened his grip. "Sirius, let go of me! I can walk fine on my own!"

Sirius stopped walking and glared at her before continuing to walk with her struggling against him. They entered the common room and he growled at some lingering first years until they ran upstairs. He threw her towards a chair by the fireplace and growled again. "Sit down!" She stumbled into the chair. She stared at him with wide eyes. He started to pace. "I-!" He stopped and stared at her before he began to pace again. "Are-? I-!" He took a deep breath. "What the hell were you thinking? What the fuck were you doing with him?" She opened her mouth but he kept ranting. "How could you snog him? How could you let him touch you like that?"

Sam glared at him. "He is my boyfriend! That's why we were snogging!" Sirius sneered. She stood up and got in his face. "It is none of your business what I do with him! You had no right to have Remus drag him away and you had no right to drag me away like you did! It was none of your business!" He stuttered. "Why do you even care? You were acting like a jealous boyfriend! Why should it matter to you if I snog Patrick?"

He sneered. "I am _not_ jealous of that pretentious tool!" She rolled her eyes. "And, I care because you are my friend! You are like my sister and you are my best mate's little sister! It is my job to look out for you!" She scoffed. "I care about you and I won't let Captain Peroxide touch you like that!"

She stared at him oddly. "Did you just call him Captain Peroxide?" He nodded and shrugged. "You still had no right!"

His eyes narrowed. "I had every right!" She rolled her eyes again. "How could you let him see you and touch you like that? It was disgusting!"

She growled. "So, you think I'm disgusting?" His face scrunched up in confusion. "Seeing my…parts…it disgusted you?"

He groaned. "I didn't say that! I didn't mean it like that!"

Her eyes narrowed. "Then tell me what you meant!"

He took a step away from her and started to pace again. "It was disgusting seeing his hands on you! It was disgusting seeing you let him touch you like that! He doesn't deserve to be on the same planet as you let alone snog you!"

She blinked. "Who deserves me then?" He looked at her in confusion. "If Patrick isn't good enough for me then who is?"

He took a deep breath. "No one!" Her eyes widened. "No one is good enough for you!"

She sighed. "I have to be with someone." He shook his head. "Did you honestly believe I'd never have a boyfriend? Did you think I'd never kiss, touch, or be with someone and just wait for you until I die?" He shook his head again. "I don't understand why you are acting this way!"

He ran a rough hand over his face. "I'm just trying to look out for you!" She huffed. "Why did you let him do all that to you, Sammy? You are smarter than this!"

She sat down in the chair with a huff. "He is my boyfriend." He growled. She bit her lip. "Sirius, can I ask you something?" He sat across from her and shrugged. "Have…have you…have you ever had sex?" His eyes widened. She blushed. "I need some advice and you…you seem so experienced." His eyes were still wide. "Can you give me advice about sex, Sirius?"

Sirius choked. "Are…?" He blinked. "Are you having sex with him?" She shook her head. "Are you thinking about it?" She blushed. "You are too young for that, Samantha! I forbid you to have sex with him!" She stared at him in shock. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I can't deal with this! I'm not giving you advice and then have you run out to shag the likes of him! I absolutely refuse to help you with this!" She blinked. He glared at her. "I'm going to bed and you won't be having sex until after I die!" He ran upstairs as fast as he could to get away from her and that conversation. He slammed the door behind him and kicked his trunk. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to punch Patrick. He had an urge to put a chastity belt on Sam to keep her from having sex with anyone. He had an urge to lock her in her room and not let her out until she was old and wrinkled. He sat down on his bed with a sigh. "Both of those options sound really good." He mumbled. He rubbed his eyes. "I can't believe it!" He groaned. "I can't fucking believe it!"

Sam slammed the door behind her. "I wasn't finished talking to you, Black!" He looked at her in surprise. She stalked over to him. "Why did you have to act like that?" He blinked. "I wasn't asking you for the different positions and how to do them!" His eyes widened. She blushed when she realized what she said. "I…I was just asking for some advice. That's all I was doing." She sat down next to him on his bed and sighed. He stared at her. "I…I've never…I've never done it and I just need some help. You've done it before and I thought you could help me."

He shook his head. "I can't believe this."

She stared at him. "What can't you believe?"

He sighed. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."

She bit her lip. "I need some help, Sirius." He nodded slowly. "Can I talk to you about something without you freaking out on me again?"

He put his head in his hands and held in a groan. "You can talk to me about anything, Sammy. You know that."

She gulped. "Patrick keeps…he wants me to have sex with him." His hands balled up into tight fists. "I promised him I would." He gritted his teeth. "I promised him we would have sex the night of the Christmas ball." He really didn't want to hear this. "But I'm scared. I care about him. I really do but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I'm not…I want to know what to expect. I want to experience everything with someone who knows me really well and that I trust completely. I want to be prepared for when Patrick and I finally do have sex."

He let out a pitiful groan. "How do you think I can help you, Sammy?" She blushed. "Why are you asking me for advice?"

She blushed again. "You've had experience." He nodded and shrugged. "I was wondering if you would be willing to help me become prepared for everything."

His head cocked to the side. "How can I help you?" She looked at the ground. He gulped. "Sammy, you aren't asking me to have sex with you, are you?"

Her blush grew. "I don't know. I might be." He gulped again. "You've had sex before. You could give me some advice."

He groaned. "I've…I've never had sex." Her eyes widened. "I've done everything else but sex."

She blinked. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be asking you for this then."

Sirius grabbed her hand when she tried to leave. "Don't go." She sat back down. "I need to understand this, ok?" She nodded slowly. "You promised to have sex with that git, right?" She rolled her eyes and nodded. "Have you come close to sex?" She shook her head. He smiled. "Have you done anything besides what I saw tonight?" She shook her head again. He stopped himself from cheering. "So, you want me to tell you how things will feel?" She shrugged. "Do you want me to show you?" She blushed and nodded. "Why are you asking me?"

Sam turned to face him. "You are more experienced than I am." He nodded. "And, I trust you, Sirius." He smiled. "I know you won't hurt me. You will protect me." He nodded. "I just want to experience everything with someone I trust completely and who knows me before I am with Patrick." He gulped. "Will you help me?"

He sighed. "I don't know about this, Sammy."

She nodded. "I understand, Sirius." He glanced at her. "I doubt you want to waste your time doing that with me or waste your first time on me."

He shook his head. "That's not it, Sammy. I'd want to be with someone I completely trusted too." She smiled. "But you are James' sister. He would kill me if he found out."

She smiled. "He wouldn't have to know! No one would have to know! It would be our little secret!" He smirked. "Will you help me?"

He sighed. "I'm still not sure about this." She sighed. "We would do everything and then have sex. Is that what you are saying?" She nodded. "Are you sure about this?" She nodded again. "I still don't know."

She bit her lip. "What if I gave you time to think about it?" He shrugged. "If I gave you a couple of days, will you consider helping me?"

He sighed again. "I'll think about it." She beamed at him. "Give me two days and I'll have an answer for you."

She hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Sirius! You're the best!"

He laughed lightly. "I try, Sammy. I try." She laughed. He kissed her. She stared at him with wide eyes. He shrugged. "It will help me with my decision." She nodded slowly. He kissed her again. She bit her lip. "You should go to bed now, Sammy. I need to think."

She nodded. "Ok, I will go. Thanks again, Sirius."

He gave her a weak smile. "It's nothing, Sammy." He fell back onto his bed and sighed when he was alone. "I wasn't expecting that!" He muttered.

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Sirius played with his food while he thought about what he should do. He had to give her his answer after dinner. He looked around and his eyes narrowed when he saw Patrick kiss Sam. He gripped his fork in his hand tightly as he watched them hug. He couldn't let him be her first anything. It was bad enough he was her first boyfriend. He knew what he had to do and he would enjoy every minute of it. She would be with him and he would be able to throw it in Patrick's face. He waited until no one was around to bring her to his room. He sat her down on his bed and stood in front of her. "I've come to a decision." She nodded slowly. "I'll do it."

Sam's eyes widened. "You will?" He nodded and smiled. She shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know if we should." He looked at her incredulously. "We are friends and this will change things, won't it?" He shook his head aggressively. "And, I don't want to cheat on Patrick. I should just suck it up and experience it with him."

He shook his head. "You can't do that!" She looked at him in surprise. He smiled. "You won't be cheating on Patrick either." Her head cocked to the side. "Think of it as tutorial sessions. You will be learning, not cheating."

She eyed him closely. "It will be tutorial sessions?" He nodded eagerly. She nodded. "Ok, if I won't be cheating on him then I will do it." He smiled and sat down next to her. "We will have close to two months to do everything." He nodded. "Is that ok?"

His smile grew. "That's fine with me!" She blushed. He kissed her slowly. She blinked. "Was that alright?" She nodded quickly. He kissed her again. He put his hand on her thigh and moved it up her skirt. She stopped him. He looked at her oddly. "What's wrong?"

She blushed. "Won't James be here soon?" He shook his head slowly. She gulped. "Are you sure about that?"

He nodded. "I'm sure." She sighed. "Why did you stop me from kissing you? This is what you wanted to happen."

She sighed again. "I know. It's just that…you were putting your hand under my skirt." He nodded slowly. "I…um…I've never done anything except kiss." His eyes widened. "It is just too fast if we jump right into it. We might regret it."

He smiled. "We can work up to it, ok?" She smiled in surprise. "We have two months before we have sex. We can work up to it."

She shook her head. "We have to have sex five times." His eyes widened. "Lilac said a girl has to have sex five times before she starts to enjoy it. We should have sex five times. Is that ok?"

He beamed at her. "That's fine with me!" She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "We can work on just kissing for now." He kissed her again. "We will have to work on this everyday." Her eyes widened. He smirked. "It will help you get used to everything. It will help us move things along faster." She nodded. He pulled her closer. "Where were we?" She kissed him. He massaged her neck. "Let's begin our first lesson." She smiled.

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Sam snuck into his room and smiled. This was their second lesson. Sirius smirked when he saw her. "Is everyone gone?" He nodded and motioned for her to come over. She put down her bag. She sat down next to him on his bed. "We have some time before dinner. Do you mind if we squeeze in one lesson before our lesson tonight?"

Sirius laughed as he pulled her to him. "No, I don't mind." She laughed. He kissed her. "Are you ready to start?" She bit her lip and nodded. "We'll keep kissing for now. Tonight, we will try and do a little more." She gulped and nodded. "Are you ok?" She nodded. "Let's get started." They leaned in and kissed. He tangled his hand in her hair and held her to him tightly. She moaned in his mouth when he sucked on her bottom lip. He smiled as his thumb glided across her lip. "I take it that you liked that." She blushed. He laughed. "Don't be embarrassed, Sammy. I liked it."

Her blush grew. "I liked it too." He smirked. "I liked kissing you, Sirius."

He kissed her. "I like kissing you too, Sammy." She smiled. "I really like kissing you."

She stared at him closely. "Can we kiss again?"

He smiled. "We can do anything you want, Baby." Her eyebrow rose. He let out a nervous laugh. "We can do anything we want, Sammy." They started kissing again. He slid his tongue into her mouth and he let out a loud moan when she deepened their kiss. He massaged her sides before pulling her closer to him. She was on his lap. He started kissing her neck and she moaned. He smiled. "I like when you moan like that. I can't wait to make you do more of that." She laughed and blushed. "I like it when you blush." He hugged her. She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "I really like it when you do that." She giggled again. "You better stop or you won't be a virgin for much longer, Sammy." She couldn't stop herself from giggling. He pinned her to the bed and tickled her. She was gasping for air. He smirked. "This is going to be fun!" He kissed her neck. She moaned. His hand was on her hip before moving to her thigh. "I am really going to enjoy this." She smiled. "Are you going to enjoy this?" She nodded. He smirked. "We should keep going then."

She laughed. "Yes, we should."

They kept kissing but pulled apart when they heard the boys come up the stairs. They sat up and moved away from each other. They walked in. James smiled. "What are you two doing?"

He shrugged. "We were just talking. What are you up to?"

James laughed. "We were just coming up to get you for dinner." He nodded. "Let's go." They stood up. "Sammy, you have to sit next to me at dinner." Her eyebrow rose. "I need you to. Lily always sits next to you and you can help me with her." She rolled her eyes. "Come on! I'm hungry!"

Sirius pulled her to him when they were alone. "Are we still getting together after dinner?" She smiled and nodded. "I can't wait." He kissed her deeply. She sank into him. "We will meet in the broom closet." She looked at him oddly. He shrugged. "It's private and no one will think to look for us there." She nodded. He smiled. "I want you next to me at dinner." She smiled. "I like you next to me." Her smile grew. "I also like seeing you get excited while anticipating what we will do tonight."

She laughed. "You're full of it."

He winked at her. "And, you like it." She nodded. He kissed her. "Let's go before James kills us for delaying dinner." They left.

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Sam was walking down the hall while reading a book. She was on her way to meet Sirius but she couldn't put the book down. She yelped when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into the broom closet. "What the hell?"

Sirius kissed her. "You're late." She smiled at him. He pushed her up against the wall and took the book out of her hands. "You read entirely too much." She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "Sammy, you know how much I love when you do that." She kissed him. He pushed her against the wall again. He ripped off her school robe before pulling her shirt out of her skirt. She loosened his tie and pulled his shirt out of his pants. He smirked. "You are getting better at this and it's only been a week. You're a fast learner."

She laughed. "I've got a great teacher."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll agree with you there." She rolled her eyes. They started kissing again. She moaned when he sucked on her neck. His hand slipped up her skirt. She moved his hand away from her skirt. He sighed. "Sammy, we are going to have to do that eventually. You know that, right?" She nodded slowly. "Then what's the problem?"

She bit her lip. "It's too fast." He sighed again. "I know we have a time limit but it's just too fast. I've been with Patrick for a couple of months and we haven't even gone that far."

He smiled brightly. "Is that right?" She nodded. "So, I'm going into uncharted territory?" She gave him a look. He laughed. "It had to be said, Sammy." She rolled her eyes. "I promise to wait until you give me the go sign, ok?" She smiled. "But that won't stop me from kissing you." She laughed and pulled him to her. He smirked. "You're very eager tonight, aren't you, Potter?"

She laughed. "Shut up and kiss me, Black."

He kept smirking. "Whatever you say, Sammy." He pounced on her. He moved his hands to her breasts and massaged them. She moaned in his mouth. He held in a smile. This was the farthest they had gone and he couldn't be happier. She was with him and she wanted to be here with him. Finally, he was getting what he really wanted and no one could take it away. His eyes widened when her hands played with his belt. "What are you doing?"

She blushed. "I'm not doing anything." His eyebrow rose. "I was just…I'm curious." He nodded slowly. "I wanted to…touch you." He smiled in surprise. "Can I touch you, Sirius?"

He opened his pants before she could finish her sentence. Her eyes widened. He kissed her eagerly. "You can do whatever you want to me, Sammy. I don't mind at all." She smiled. He put her hand into his boxers. She gulped. He let out a shaky breath. He placed his hands over hers when she had trouble. "Do…do it like this."

She nodded. "Ok, I will." He bit her neck. "Would Patrick like it like that?"

He gave her a look. "I don't care what he would like!" She blinked. He kissed her. "When you're with me, Patrick doesn't exist." She nodded quickly. He smiled. "When we're together, all that matters is us." She smiled slowly. "Let's keep going." Her back was pinned to the wall. He opened her shirt and slid his hands inside. She bit her lip as she stroked him. He grunted in her ear. "That feels really good, Sammy." He gripped her breasts tightly as she continued. He licked her neck. She shivered. He smiled when he saw a glimpse of her bra. "Cherry red is my new favorite color." She giggled. He attacked her lips and grinded into her. She moaned. He was sucking on her neck. "I want you so much, Sammy."

She froze when she saw the doorknob jiggle. "Sirius, you have to stop." He sucked on her earlobe. She moaned again. "That feels really good, Sirius." The doorknob jiggled again. Her eyes widened. "Sirius, someone is trying to come in." He didn't hear her. She groaned. "Sirius Phineaus Black, would you stop?" He looked at her in surprise. "Someone is trying to get in!" She hissed.

His eyes widened. "Shit!" He zipped up his pants and pulled her behind some boxes. "It's probably Filch." He whispered. She nodded. The door opened and Filch walked in. Sirius put his hand in her shirt. She slapped his hand away and gave him a look. He smirked and shrugged. She rolled her eyes. They watched Filch as he looked around the closet and grumbled to himself. They glanced at each other and smiled. They shared a blush. They held hands and kissed slowly. He caressed her cheek. She bit her lip. He kissed her. "You look beautiful, Sammy." She blushed. They hugged. "I like being with you, Sammy." He whispered in her ear.

She smiled in surprise. "You do?" He nodded. "I like being with you too, Sirius." He smiled. She kissed him. Filch left. "I really like being with you." They kissed. She sighed. "We should go. It's getting late."

He sighed. "You're right." They stood up and straightened their clothing. He hugged her from behind. "Are we still on for tomorrow?" She laughed and nodded. He gave her neck a brief kiss. "We need to find a place where we won't be interrupted." She nodded eagerly. "But we'll have fun while we try to find a place." She laughed.

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They were hanging out in the common room with their friends but Sirius and Sam didn't notice them. They only noticed each other. They weren't paying attention to the others. They were in the corner, talking. This caused a range of reactions. Shock and surprise were the common ones. Suspicion was on top of two people's lists. Sam stood up and walked toward the window. Sirius followed her. James' eyebrow rose while Lily eyed them closely. Something was different between them. Sirius placed a hand on the small of her back and whispered in her ear. Sam laughed and pushed his shoulder. He laughed and winked at her. Lily's eyes widened. Something was definitely different between them. Sirius hugged Sam from behind. Sam leaned into him. James stared at them with a mix of confusion and shock. Something wasn't right. They were acting like…they were dating. "You look beautiful tonight, Sammy." He whispered. She smiled. He nuzzled her cheek with his. "You look really beautiful."

She turned her head and smiled at him. "Do you mean that?" He smiled and nodded. "Thank you." He shrugged. "You look handsome tonight, Sirius." His smile grew. "Are you mad that we didn't have our lesson tonight?" He shook his head. "Is that the truth?"

He nodded. "That's the truth. I don't mind at all." Her smile grew. "Sammy, I love…" Her eyes widened. He gulped. "I love spending time with you." She smiled and nodded. "It doesn't matter if we are having one of our lessons or if we are just hanging out. I love spending time with you."

She blushed. "I love spending time with you too, Sirius."

He tightened his hold on her. "I really want to kiss you right now."

She rested her forehead against his neck and smiled. "I want you to kiss me too."

James blinked. "What the hell?" He muttered. He looked at Lily. "Evans, can I ask you something?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not explaining why it is bright during the daytime but gets dark at night to you again, Potter." He gave her a look. She sighed. "What do you want to ask me?"

He nodded towards Sirius and Sam. "What's that about?" Her eyebrow rose. "What is going on with them?" She shrugged. He rolled his eyes. "You're her best friend! She tells you everything! Do you expect me to believe you don't know?"

She glared at him. "I _don't_ know!" He scoffed. "And, even if I did, I wouldn't waste my breath explaining it to you!"

He smirked. "Are your panties still in a bunch because you kissed me?"

She growled. "My panties are no concern of yours!" He winked at her. "And, they never will be!" He laughed. She growled again. "That wasn't a kiss!" His eyebrow rose. "It was a lapse in judgment! I'll be damned if it ever happens again!"

He laughed. "Keep telling yourself that, Evans!"

She sneered. "You're a disgusting pig!"

He smirked. "And, you kissed me!" She took a deep breath so she wouldn't hit him. "You want to kiss me again, don't you?"

She groaned. "I'd rather kiss…Snape!"

His eyes widened. "That was harsh, Evans!"

She shrugged. "You deserved it, Potter."

Lilac walked in and went over to Sam. "Hey Sammy." She looked away from Sirius and smiled at her. "Patrick is outside. He said you were supposed to hang out with him and you're late."

Sam's eyes widened. "I completely forgot! Thank you, Lilac!" She shrugged and walked away. She pulled away from him. "I have to go. We can hang out later."

Sirius glared at the ground. "You're leaving me to be with him?" She blinked. "You don't have to waste your time with him!"

She sighed. "He is my boyfriend and I'm not wasting my time with him."

He growled. "Yes, you are! He shouldn't…you shouldn't be with him! He shouldn't be your boyfriend!"

She rolled her eyes. "You date other girls! Why can you be with other girls but I can't have one boyfriend?"

"He doesn't deserve you!"

"The girls you date don't deserve you either!"

He shook his head. "I can't believe this!" She sighed again. "Go and be with that git! I don't care!"

Her eyes widened. "Do you mean that?" He nodded. Her chin trembled. "I should have known that you wouldn't care about me!" His eyes widened. She glared at him. "I have to go be with my boyfriend. _He_ does care about me." He shook his head. "Goodnight, Black!"

He groaned. "Sammy, I didn't mean it like that!" She walked away. He followed her. "Are you going to kiss him?" She shrugged. He gritted his teeth. "Are you going to sleep with him?"

Her eyebrow rose. "I might!" He growled. "Does that bother you?" He nodded. She sighed. "I…I'm not going to sleep with him. I want you to be my first, Sirius." He smiled. "But he is still my boyfriend. I need to spend some time with him. I've been neglecting Patrick to be with you."

His smile grew. "You should neglect him more." She giggled. He made sure no one was looking before kissing her slowly. "I love when you giggle, Sammy." She blushed. "I love it even more when you blush." Her blush grew. He kissed her again. She sighed in content. "If you have to spend time with that git then that's fine." She nodded slowly. He smirked. "But when you get back, we will have another lesson." She smiled brightly. They kissed. "I'll see you later." She kissed him before leaving. He rubbed his eyes. "She is mine, Patrick. She won't be with you long, asshole." He muttered.

* * *

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* * *

Sam walked down into the common room and stopped short when she saw Sirius sitting on the stool in the middle of the room with James and Remus next to him. They were laughing like idiots while Lily rolled her eyes and nagged them about the mess they made while she cleaned up. She took cautious steps towards them and blinked in surprise. "What's going on?"

Sirius smirked at her while rubbing his freshly cut hair. "What do you think, Sammy?"

She stared at them in disbelief. The three idiots cut off their hair in some odd and stupid male bonding ritual. "What did you idiots do to each other?"

James shrugged. "We cut off our hair."

She rolled her eyes. "I can see that, git!" He rolled his eyes. "But why did you?"

Remus scratched the back of his head. "It seemed like a good idea."

He jumped off the stool and smiled. "Do you like my crew cut, Sammy?" James gave him a look. He coughed and sat back against the stool. "Do you like _our_ crew cuts, Sammy?"

She let out a tiny laugh as she walked over to him. His smile grew with each step she took. She rubbed his head. "I like it. I loved your long hair but I like it. You still look good to me."

Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist and smirked. "Don't worry, Baby. There is still some hair for you to grab." She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and they rested their foreheads against each other. "I know how much you love my long hair so I left it a little longer than the others."

Sam bit her lip. "That is a very good thing. I appreciate your consideration."

He winked at her. "Thank you for noticing, Baby."

Lily joined the boys in staring at them in surprise. James couldn't believe his eyes or his ears. Remus just blinked. "What did you just call my sister, Padfoot?"

She buried her head into his neck and giggled. He licked his lips. "Stop giggling. You know how much I like that." He whispered. She nodded and smiled. He looked at them and smiled. "I didn't call her anything, Prongs."

Lily laughed in disbelief. "You called her baby, Sirius." He gave her an innocent look. Her eyebrow rose. "Is there something you two would like to share with the rest of us?"

He laughed. "No, there isn't." He tightened his hold on her. "We are just friends like we've always been.

Remus gave him an odd look. "Are you sure?"

Sam smiled at him. "Of course we are sure, Remus. We are just friends like Sirius said." He blushed in response.

James eyed them closely. "Why do you keep touching each other like that?"

He rolled his eyes. "We always touch each other. This isn't anything new. You know that, mate."

She smiled at them. "Sirius, are you lying to us?" He shook his head. "Be careful with her."

Sirius picked up Sam and threw her over his shoulder. He smirked at Lily. "Don't worry, _Mum_. I'll be careful." She rolled her eyes. He went to walk out of the room with a laughing Sam. "Now, I have to go make this little girl into a woman!"

Her eyes widened as Sam laughed hysterically. "That's not funny, Sirius!"

"Yes, it is, Evans!" He yelled.

"Sammy, don't forget that you are meeting _Patrick_ later!" Lily said with a smirk.

Her face contorted in discomfort when Sirius stopped short. "Thanks for the reminder, Lily!"

He whipped around and looked Lily in surprise. "Is she really meeting with that git?" Lily nodded and smirked again. He winced when Sam punched him in the back. "Sammy, that hurt!"

She rolled her eyes. "You called my boyfriend a git!"

Remus shrugged. "Well, he is one."

James nodded. "He really is, Sammy. How do you put up with him?"

He laughed. "Does he pay you to date him? That's the only logical explanation."

Lily laughed. She couldn't agree more with them but she refused to say it. "Leave her alone! Patrick is…a…he is nice." They gave her a look. She laughed again. "He is nice! He cares about Sammy. She cares about him. You may not like it but get over it!"

Frank walked in. "Sam, your git of a boyfriend is outside for you!"

The boys smirked. "Let's go see the git!" They said in unison.

Sam gave Lily a pleading look. "Please, stop them!"

She shook her head and laughed. She saw the boys pushing each other out of the way to get to the door. Sam groaned as she was being tossed around on Sirius' shoulder. "Stop right there!" They didn't hear her. "I said, _FREEZE_!" They stopped and turned around slowly. They gave her innocent smiles. She rolled her eyes. "Let her go to him." They glared. She gave Sirius a look. "You need to let her go." His eyebrow rose. "I doubt he'd like it if he saw his girlfriend over your shoulder."

He held in a sneer. "Like I care about that." He muttered. She gave him a look. He smiled at her. "I'll let her down, _Mum_." She nodded slowly. "I'll let her down right in front of him!" He ran out of the door. "Watch this!"

They laughed. "Lead the way, Padfoot!" James said as they chased after him.

Patrick looked up when the portrait hole opened. His eyebrow rose. "What's this?"

Lily sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Lily, help me!" Sam groaned.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the look she was giving him. "I have a special delivery for you, _Patrick_." He nodded slowly. He set Sam down and she kicked him in the shin. "Damn it! That hurt!"

Sam glared at him. "You deserved it, git!" She ran over to Patrick and hugged him tightly. He laughed as he staggered by the force of her hug. He picked her up and tightened his hold on her. She smiled at him. "I missed you."

Patrick gave her a brief kiss. "You saw me an hour ago." She shrugged. He smiled. "I missed you too." He whispered.

The boys sneered at him. Sirius' eyes narrowed. Patrick was still holding her up and close to him. "Aren't you done hugging her yet?" He grunted.

He set her down and put his arm around her. "I can hug her for as long as we both want." He smiled at her. "Can't I, Sammy?"

She blushed when he kissed her cheek. She wrapped her arms around him. "Yes, you can, Patrick."

He kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, Sammy."

James glared at him. "We are the only ones that can call her that, Lewis!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Would you stop?"

Sam smiled. "Thank you, Lily."

Remus grumbled. "We say her name better."

She laughed. "I'm sure you do, Remus." He smiled. "But he still can call her that."

She held his hand and blushed when he smiled at her. "Would you like to go outside with me, Patrick?"

Patrick nodded. "I'd love to, _Sammy_."

Lily rolled her eyes when the boys growled. "Leave them alone, gits! Let them have some time alone!"

Sirius did everything he could to stop himself from punching him in the face when he kissed her cheek. He wanted to scream when she blushed. "Sammy, why don't you go inside?" He blurted out. She looked at him oddly. He smiled. "It's such a beautiful day. It would be nice if you got your camera."

Sam smiled brightly. "That's a great idea! Thank you, Sirius!"

He winked at her. "It was nothing, Sammy."

She ran off and James growled when he caught Patrick watching her with eager eyes. "What the hell are you doing?" He yelled. He looked at him oddly. "Why were you staring at her like that?" He stared at him like he was crazy. "You want to shag my baby sister, don't you?" Patrick looked away. His eyes widened in shock. Remus and Sirius had to hold him back. "I'm going to kick your ass!"

Lily groaned. "What is wrong now?"

He looked at her. "He wants to shag Sammy!"

She sighed. "He likes her. It's normal for him to want to do that." Patrick groaned. He wished this conversation would just stop. "James, your sister is pretty. Guys look at her like that." He growled. "But she isn't ready for that." She eyed Patrick closely. "Do you understand me, Lewis?" He gulped and nodded quickly. James looked horrified. She laughed. "I know you are surprised that guys want to shag her rotten but they do." He groaned. "Your friends feel the same way. Sirius? Remus? Don't you look at Sammy that way?"

Remus blushed when James glared at him after he nodded. He shrugged. "She is very pretty." James sneered. "But she is just my friend!"

Lily smirked at him. Sirius smirked right back at her. "Sirius, do you want to shag her?"

Sirius nodded. James choked. His eyes widened when he saw them staring at him in shock. "No, I don't! She's like my sister! I think of her as a sister!"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you do!"

James shook his head. "The three of you are sick! I can't believe you want to shag her! She is just a little girl!"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "James, she isn't a little girl anymore. Your sister has become a woman…a very hot woman right before your very eyes. You need to deal with it and move on!"

Sirius groaned. "I hate to admit this…to anyone but the git is right." He looked at him oddly. He shrugged. "What can I say? She grew up a lot!"

The three of them shared a smile. James sneered. "Stop it!" They looked at him. "Stop thinking about my sister's chest! That's gross and disturbing!"

Sam ran towards them with her camera. The boys watched her bounce with doofy smiles while James groaned. "I got it!" She saw them staring at her. "Why are you staring at my shirt like that?"

Patrick smiled when he put his arm around her. "I'll tell…_show_ you later."

Sirius pushed him off of her. "No, you won't! I will!"

James pushed him. "What do you mean you will?"

Remus groaned. "Would you calm down?"

She looked at them oddly. "What's going on? Why are you fighting?"

Patrick held her hand and kissed it. "Don't worry about it, Baby. It doesn't matter."

Sam nodded. "Ok, whatever you say, Baby." They walked past the boys and were on their way outside with the boys following closely behind them. "Where are you three going?"

Remus shrugged. "I'm following them."

Sirius shrugged. "I'm following James."

James smiled at her. "And, I'm following you two." Sam gave him a look. He smiled again. "I thought it would be nice if we all hung out together so we could get to know the git…uh…Patrick better." Patrick rolled his eyes. "What do you say?"

She smiled. "That's a great idea, James!" He smirked at Patrick. She looked at him. "Is that alright with you, Baby?" He held in a groan and nodded. "Lily, are you coming too?"

She smirked. "I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

She beamed at her. "I just know you will love him as much as I do!"

Sirius growled. "Let's get this over with!" They followed him outside. He sat by the willow tree and sighed. He watched them hug and kiss. "He is such an asshole!"

James sighed. "Are you ok, mate?"

He sighed again when they sat back down next to him. "Do you really think she loves him?"

Remus shrugged. "I hope not." They looked at him in surprise. He shrugged again. "What can I say? He isn't good enough for her. He doesn't deserve her." They nodded. "But she wants us to get to know him. We should try to do at least that much for her. We all care about her and she cares about him. We should get to know him for that reason alone."

James groaned. "You're right, Moony. We may not like him but he does make her happy. We should give him a chance."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He is still a git in my opinion." He glared at them when they hugged again. Patrick took off his shirt and Sam was gazing at his chest with wide eyes and a blush. He groaned. "I don't think I can take much more of this."

James patted him on the back. "He won't be around for that long, mate. She will get tired of him soon enough."

Sirius laughed. "You're right, Prongs!" He started to growl when Sam touched Patrick's chest slowly. "I can't understand what she sees in him."

Lily sat down and laughed. "Did you expect her to be alone and love only you forever?" Sirius sighed and nodded. She laughed. "Sirius, it's a crush!"

"She loves me more than she could ever love that ass!"

James looked at him in surprise. "What did you say?"

She sighed. "I was talking about Patrick." Sirius stared at her closely. "He is the crush, not you. Sam is always going to care for you but since you won't be with her, she has to be with someone else. She may even fall in love with someone else but she will always care about you."

Sirius beamed at her. "Thanks for that, Evans!" She rolled her eyes.

Sam dragged Patrick by the hand over to them. "Why are you sitting down? Is there something wrong?"

Sirius glared at Patrick and his stupid bare chest before smiling at her. "There's nothing wrong, Sammy." He pulled her away from him and smirked when he caressed her cheek. "What would you like to do?"

Sam gulped when she felt tingles run down her spine when he looked at her. She had seen that look before when they were alone. "I…what do you want to do?"

He leaned in. "I'll tell you later what I want to do." He whispered. Her face was on fire. He smirked at Patrick when he hugged her. "What do you want to do?"

Patrick licked his lips and smirked at Sirius when Sam hugged him. "Well, we have your camera. Let's put it to good use."

Remus looked at James. "This is going to be a long day, isn't it?"

James nodded. "Yes, I think it is."

Lily laughed. "I couldn't agree more."

Patrick and Sirius did everything they could to get Sam's attention. Sam hugged Patrick and climbed up his body. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she smiled at him. "You're too tall."

He laughed before kissing her. "You're too short." She made a face and he laughed again. "You're a midget!"

Sam giggled. "I'm not a midget! You're a giant!"

James watched Patrick's hands on his sister's bum and growled. Sirius felt like throwing up at their little display. "Hands above the equator, Lewis!"

Patrick set her down and rolled his eyes. "I was just holding her up. I wasn't doing anything wrong!"

"Says you." Sirius muttered.

Remus held in a laugh. "Would you stop pouting?" Sirius gave him the finger.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Are you seriously this upset because she isn't throwing all of her attention at you?" He glared at her. "Grow up, Black!"

Sirius started to grumble under his breath. He watched Sam touch Patrick's chest slowly before starting to take pictures of them hugging and kissing much to his displeasure. He took a deep breath and took off his black wife beater. It was an oddly hot day and the heat was getting to him. It wasn't the only thing getting to him. "Sammy, come and take a picture with me." Sam turned her head and blushed when she looked at his chest. Patrick rolled his eyes. Sirius smiled when she jumped on his back. James and Remus stood next to them. Lily laughed when Remus dragged her over to them. Patrick took their picture. She jumped off of his back. "That was fun." She nodded quickly. "I like it when you're pressed up against me like that, Sammy." He whispered in her ear.

She choked and blushed. "I-I…ok."

He licked his lips and smirked. "Do you like hearing that?"

Her blush grew. "Sirius…" He kept smirking. "I…um…I…"

Patrick gritted his teeth and pulled Sam away from him. "Come on, Sammy! We're all supposed to be hanging out. It's not fair for Sirius to hog all of your attention."

James shrugged. "We're used to it."

Remus nodded. "Sirius always tries to hog her attention. You get used to it after a while."

Lily smirked. "Sirius can't stand it if all her attention is anywhere but on him." He gave her a look. She shrugged. "Sirius, it's the truth and you know it."

Sam kissed Patrick's cheek. "I'm sorry about that, Baby." She looked at them. "Patrick is right. I shouldn't be neglecting all of you."

Sirius growled. "I guess we can talk later, Sammy."

They lounged around and joked around with each other. The boys did their best to ignore Patrick. It was just another normal hang out for them. Sam and James made fun of each other. Lily and Sam made fun of James. Remus and Sirius tackled the three of them when they wouldn't stop fighting. Remus, Sam, and Lily discussed books while James, Sirius, and Patrick, much to their dismay, discussed Quidditch strategies. The boys were all shirtless and tried to convince Sam to do the same. James started to gag until he started to try and convince Lily to do the same. She slapped him upside his head. The boys, minus Patrick, stood together with their arms around each other's necks and smiled for Sam when she demanded a picture. Lily and Sam hugged and laughed when the boys took their picture. James put Sam in a head lock as she laughed. Lily kicked his shin. Sam hugged a blushing Remus as James took their picture. James gave her a piggyback ride while Lily, Sirius, and Remus tried to trip him. Patrick smiled when he saw Sam laughing with her brother and their friends. Sirius tripped James. He fell to the ground with a groan. They jumped on top of them and they laughed. "Hold it right there!" Patrick yelled. They looked up. "Smile for the camera." They gave him wide smiles and he laughed when the camera clicked. He smiled at Sam. "That's perfect."

Sam's eyebrow rose. "Whose hand is on my bum?"

"No, the question is whose hand is on _my_ bum?" James asked with wide eyes.

"Sorry." Sirius and Remus muttered.

James blinked. "Whoever it is, get off of me now!" They laughed. "Evans, is that you?" She scoffed. He smirked. "You know I wouldn't mind it if it was you. You could touch me whenever you want."

Lily sneered. "You wish!" She gasped. "Potter, get your hands off of my bum now or you'll lose that hand!"

Sirius laughed. "That was me, Evans!" She growled. "I'm sorry. I thought you were Sammy." James glared at him while Sam blushed. He shrugged. "What can I say? I like touching-!"

James growled. "Don't finish that sentence or I'll kill you, Padfoot!"

Sam squirmed. "Who has their hand on my bum?"

Lily let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry about that, Sammy. It was an accident."

She laughed. "It's ok, Lily."

The boys smirked. "That's hot!" The girls rolled their eyes.

Patrick stared at them oddly. "You're all nutters!"

They looked at each other before looking back at him. They nodded and shrugged. "Yes, we are." They said in unison.

A butterfly flew around Sirius and he swatted at it. "Get off of me!" He stood up and ran around in a circle while yelling. "Get off!"

Sam gasped and stood up. "Sirius, stop it! You'll hurt her!"

James rolled his eyes at his sister's behavior. "I swear she gets weirder and weirder as she grows up."

Lily gave him a look. "You're a git!"

Remus smiled. "I think she is kind of sweet." He blushed when James looked at him oddly. Lily hid her smile. "Well, it is sweet that she is trying to protect the butterfly."

He rolled his eyes again. "Whatever you say, Moony."

She sneered. "You're still a git." She muttered.

She caught the butterfly in her hands. "You shouldn't swat at it, Sirius! It wasn't hurting you!"

Sirius followed her to the willow tree and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

Sam opened her hands and the butterfly was perched on her right pointer finger. She smiled at him. "It's ok, Sirius." He smiled. "You just…you should take the time to appreciate the small but beautiful things." He stared at her intently while she looked at the butterfly in awe. She watched as it fluttered its wings but didn't fly away. "Butterflies are remarkable. They start off as ugly caterpillars but before too long, they turn into such beautiful creatures. It's too bad they don't live that long. I'm sure if they were able to live longer, they would do amazing things." He smiled. "It's weird that this butterfly is still alive. They are usually gone around this time of year."

He continued to stare at her. "It is beautiful." She turned her head to look at him. He blushed. "The…uh…the butterfly is beautiful, I mean." She smiled and nodded eagerly. "I like how you described it to me."

She shrugged as the butterfly flew away. "I like butterflies." He nodded. "It's a shame that you can't hold them whenever you want to though. They tend to fly away when you least expect it." He smiled again. "And, you can't hold onto them too tight. Plus, you have to let them go when it's their time to fly away or you might crush them."

Sirius held her hand and smiled. "Is that true?" She nodded eagerly again. "I didn't know that."

Sam smiled and shrugged. "It's just something I know."

His smile grew. "Tell me something else you know." She blushed.

Patrick walked over to them and grabbed her hand. "Sammy, let's go for a walk."

She looked at him oddly. "But…I was talking to Sirius." He glared at Sirius. "We were talking about butterflies."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "The two of you were talking about butterflies?" She nodded. He smiled. "That's very…_sweet_, Sammy."

He glared at him. "Don't talk to her like that!" Patrick looked at him in surprise. "She isn't some stupid child! She likes butterflies and she was telling me about them! Don't be rude to her like that!"

"I wasn't being rude to her!"

"Yes, you were!"

She sighed. "Why are you two fighting now? Why is it such a big deal that we were talking about butterflies?"

Patrick smiled at her. "There is nothing wrong about butterflies, Baby." Sirius sneered at him. "Why don't you tell me about them while we take a walk by the woods?"

Sam looked at him closely. "But I was talking to…" She sighed in defeat when she saw him glaring. She looked at Sirius. "Is it alright if we talk later?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "We can talk later, Sammy." He watched them walk off hand in hand towards the woods. They stood next to him. "I hate that asshole!" He growled. "He was putting her down! He was making fun of her for telling me about butterflies! He was making it seem like she was a naïve idiot!"

Remus nodded. "Well, she is naïve." Sirius glared at him. He held up his hands in defense. "I'm not saying it is ok for him to put her down or to make fun of her but she is and can be very naïve in certain situations."

Lily gritted her teeth. "He is such a jerk off!" Their eyebrows rose. She sighed. "Yes, I can admit it. I don't like him. He is a douche bag and I think she could do so much better."

He sneered. "He…I hate him! All I've wanted to do since she told us about them dating is kick the crap out of him!" They nodded in agreement. "He doesn't deserve her! She is too…special for a git like him!"

James patted him on the back. "We know this, Padfoot. Sammy will realize this soon enough."

Sirius checked his watch. "They've been gone too long. Let's go find them now."

He laughed. "Mate, they need some time together. They are dating now."

He groaned. "I know they are, Moony!" Remus nodded slowly. "But that's not the point!"

"Then what is the point?" Lily asked slowly.

Sirius sighed and shrugged. "I don't know." They stared at him. "I do know that I don't like how he looks at her or touches her. He is going to hurt her and I don't want that to happen."

Lily nodded. "We don't want that to happen either. She is too nice for that to happen…but they want to be alone."

Five of the longest minutes passed as he waited for them to come back. "I forgot to tell Sammy something! I have to go find her!"

James laughed and rolled his eyes. "You can tell her when they get back. It can wait until then, Padfoot."

He grumbled. "I guess you are right."

McGonagall walked over to them. "Have you seen Mr. Lewis? I need to speak with him."

Sirius groaned. "He went on a walk with Sammy."

She nodded. "I see." He nodded. "Well, I need to speak with him."

He jumped up. "I'll go find them!" He started to run. "I'll be right back!"

She watched him run off. "He is hopeless." She muttered.

Sirius ran as fast as he could. He stopped short when he found them. His face fell. "What the fuck?" He muttered.

Sam and Patrick were kissing. He started to kiss her neck and Sirius felt sick to his stomach at the sight. Sam's eyes widened when she saw him watching them. She pulled away from him and blushed as she looked at the ground. "What's wrong, Baby? Why'd you stop?" She nodded towards Sirius. He groaned. "What do you want?"

He sneered. "McGonagall wants to see you right now. She couldn't wait."

He rolled his eyes. "I see." He smiled at her. "I'll see you later." He kissed her.

They glared at each other and Patrick pushed past him. He was gone. Sam smiled. "Are you ready to finish our conversation?" She tried to walk past him but gasped when he grabbed her arms tightly. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

He was breathing heavily. "What the hell were you doing with him?" She blinked. He tightened his hold on her. "How could you let him kiss you?"

She gulped as her eyes widened. "He's…he's my boyfriend. He wanted to kiss me." She squirmed. "Sirius, let me go! You're hurting me!"

Sirius let her go and she staggered. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She nodded quickly as she rubbed her arms. "Why would you let him kiss you like that? How could you let him kiss you like that when you…we were kissing like that last night?"

Sam looked at him in disbelief. "Those are just tutoring sessions. That's what you said." He looked at her with hurt in his eyes. "Why are you acting like this? It's not like you care about me the way Patrick does!"

He growled. "He doesn't care about you! He is just going to hurt you!" She shook her head. "He doesn't deserve you, Sammy! You are too good for that asshole!" She blinked. "Why are you with him?" She gulped. "Why are you wasting your time with him? We do those things together and you told me I was the only one you were comfortable enough to do that with but I just saw you kissing him like he was the only one!" She gulped again. "Why are you even with me if you want him?" He stared at her. "When he kisses you, do you feel even half of what you feel when I kiss you?"

She sighed. "He is my boyfriend." He growled again. "I do those things with you…because I'm falling in love with you but Patrick wants to be with me." His eyes widened. "He cares about me in a way you never will." He shook his head. He stared at the top of her as she stared at the ground. "It was just a crush before, Sirius. You were just a crush but something changed. All the time we've spent together and have done those things…I'm falling in love with you for real this time, Sirius." She looked at his shocked face. "But you will never love me like that."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "I do love you, Sammy." She shook her head. "I'm already falling for you, Sammy."

"No, you aren't."

He kissed her. "Yes, I am. I'm falling hard for you, Sammy. I never felt this way before about anyone." She looked at him in surprise. He put her hand over his heart. "This belongs to you, Sammy." He put his hands over her heart. "And, this belongs to me." She smiled slowly. "I'm falling hard for you too, Sammy."

Sam kissed him. He rubbed her neck. "I want to kiss you again."

He licked his lips and smiled. "You can kiss me whenever you want, Sammy." They started kissing and his hand went under her shirt. He rubbed her stomach gently. Sirius started at her closely. "Do you love me, Sammy?" She nodded. "Tell me you love me, Sammy."

She blushed. "I love you, Sirius." He smiled. "I love only you."

They started kissing again. He held her to him tightly as their kiss deepened. They jumped apart when they heard a branch snap. They stared at Lily with wide eyes. Her mouth was hung open in shock. They blushed. She blinked. "I came looking for you." They nodded quickly. "Sammy, I need to talk to you." Sam walked over to her while looking at the ground in embarrassment. Lily eyed Sirius closely. "James and Remus are looking for you." He nodded. They walked off.

* * *

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* * *

Sirius walked into his room after his shower and held his towel to his waist. He smiled when he looked at his bed and thought about the night before with Sam. He looked in the mirror and laughed as he rubbed his head. "What were we thinking?" He muttered.

Sam ran into the room and closed the door. "Sirius!" He turned around and his towel dropped to the floor. Her eyes widened when she looked at his naked form. He smirked. She blushed and turned around. "I-I'm sorry. I-I should have knocked."

He continued to smirk. "Why did you look away? I don't mind if you look. I want you to look." She gulped. "You've touched me before, Sammy. It's ok."

She blushed again. "I-I know that. I-I just never looked at it before."

Sirius walked over to her slowly. She jumped when he touched her arm. He laughed lightly. "Why are you so jumpy?" He turned her around and her eyes traveled down to look at him. He smirked again. She bit her lip before moving her eyes to stare at his bare chest. He licked his lips. "So, what do you think? Is this the best one you've ever seen?"

Sam's face was on fire. "I-I-I've never seen one before."

His eyes widened. "Y-You haven't?" She shook her head. He smiled slowly. He caressed her cheek. "It's ok if you want to look, Sammy. I don't mind."

She gulped. "It's ok if I look?" He nodded eagerly. She crouched down and stared at it closely. He bit his lip. She looked up at him with curious eyes. "Is…?"

"What is it, Baby?"

"Do they all look like that?"

Sirius held in a laugh. "I'm not sure about that but I like to think that mine is the best."

Sam stood up. "Well…it looks nice."

He looked at her in horror. "It looks nice?" She nodded. He started to tickle her. She laughed. "I'll show you nice!" He pressed her against the corner of the wall. He kissed her. "Do you want to touch me again, Sammy?" She nodded. He smiled. Sirius guided her hand to him. He sighed in content. He started sucking on her neck. He moved his hand underneath her skirt and started to rub her through her underwear. Her eyes widened. "How does that feel, Sammy? Does that feel good?" She nodded quickly. She let out a tiny whimper. "Tell me how it feels, Sammy."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "That feels good, Sirius."

They started kissing more aggressively. He put himself between her legs and rubbed himself against her. She gasped in surprise. The door opened and pressed them against the wall. "Remus, are you in here?" Lily asked.

Sirius poked his head out from behind the door. "Hi." She jumped in surprise. "How can I help you?" Sam swatted at his hands when he kept rubbing her. He winked at her. "Did you need something, Evans?"

Lily eyed him closely. "Why are you behind the door?"

He let out a nervous laugh. "I heard the door open and I hid." Her eyebrow rose. "I'm naked. I just got out of the shower."

Her eyes widened. "I'm sorry!"

He shrugged. "It's ok. What did you need?"

She gulped. "I…I was looking for Remus. We're supposed to go to the library and do our homework together." He nodded slowly. "Have you seen him?"

Sirius held in a smirk when Sam blushed as his hand roamed up and down her body. "No, I haven't." She nodded. "He might be around with James."

Lily nodded again. "I'll go look for him." He smiled. "Have you seen Sam? I need to talk to her about something."

His head cocked to the side. "No, I haven't. Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "There's no reason. I was just curious." He nodded. "I haven't seen you or her all day and I thought that was odd."

He smiled. "Is that a fact?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, that is a fact, Sirius." He bit his lip to stop from laughing. "Everyone is gone so…behave yourself when you're alone with her or else!"

He laughed. "I'd never do anything she didn't want, Evans." She gave him a look. "I'm still naked."

Her eyes widened. "Oh…right! I'll let you get dressed!" He nodded. "By some odd chance you do run into Sammy, tell her I'm looking for her."

He smiled. "I'll do that." He closed the door and sighed in relief when she was gone. He smirked at Sam. "We're alone." Sam blushed and nodded. He kissed her. "Where were we?"

She slid her arms around his neck slowly as they kissed. He picked her up and held her close to him. She smiled at him. He caressed her cheek. "I have to go." He shook his head. She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "I should go." He kissed her. She moaned when he sucked on her bottom lip. "Lily is looking for me. I should go."

He groaned. "Lily has no concept of timing." She looked at him oddly. He smiled. "You should go." He kissed her slowly. "I'll see you later."

She smiled. "I'll see you later." He kissed her again. "Goodbye, Sirius."

He kissed her two more times. "Goodbye, Sammy." She was gone. He groaned. "Lily really has no concept of timing!"

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Sirius checked his watch. He was waiting for Sam in the common room. They were meeting again tonight. They were telling the others that they had dates with other people so they could go off together. He rolled his eyes. Lily kept staring at him. He knew she was curious about what was going on between him and Sam. He knew this but he didn't care. All he cared about was spending time with his Sammy. He smiled. She was his. She loved him and he…wasn't ready to admit anything to anyone just yet. "Come on, Sammy." He muttered.

Lily smirked. "Sirius, you seem nervous for some reason." He stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "Why do you seem nervous?" He rolled his eyes. "Why are you waiting for Sam and why are you nervous?"

He smirked. "I'm waiting for Sam because I promised to walk her to meet the git." She nodded slowly. "And, I'm not nervous."

She scoffed. "I'm sure."

Sirius turned his head when he heard footsteps come down the stairs. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her. Sam smiled at him. She was in a white flowing dress that went a little past her knee. The bodice was tight and decorated with white glossy buttons. She wore white ballet slippers and her hair was in a tight ponytail. He gulped when she walked over and stood next to him. He stared at her with wide eyes. "Hi Sammy." He muttered.

Sam looked at him and blushed. "Hi Sirius."

Lily hid her smile. They were too cute. "You look great, Sammy." She smiled. She glanced at him. "_Patrick_ will love it!" He glared at her. She winked at him. "Have fun tonight, you two."

They walked out of the common room and sneaked out onto the grounds. He grabbed her hand. "Come on, Sammy." He whispered. She smiled in excitement as they ran across the lawn. They laughed as they made their way to the Whomping Willow. She froze. "What's wrong?"

She blinked. "This is the Whomping Willow." He nodded. "What are we doing here?"

He winked at her. "It's a surprise." She nodded slowly. He found a long stick and pressed the knot to freeze the tree. He kissed her. "Let's go." He held her hand and took careful steps through the tunnel. She stumbled a few times and held onto him tightly. "Are you ok?" She nodded. He hugged her from behind when they entered the Shrieking Shack. "Do you like it?" She shrugged. He laughed and kissed her cheek. "I know it isn't much but this is where we go every full moon." Her eyes widened. She looked around. The tables were broken and the furniture was torn. It was completely destroyed but she felt safe there is an odd sort of way. He kissed her neck lightly. "Do you like it?" She looked at him and smiled as she nodded. He turned her around and held her close to him. "We can be alone here." Her smile grew. They kissed. "No one will bother us tonight." She blushed. He kissed her cheek. "You look beautiful, Sammy." She kissed him slowly. "Let's go upstairs." She gulped. He smiled. "I'm not asking for sex. I just want to be alone with you." She smiled. "Follow me." He led her upstairs and they stood in one of the bedrooms. He licked his lips. "Can I kiss you, Sammy?" She nodded. They kissed. "Can I touch you, Sammy?" She nodded. They sat on the floor. His legs were on either side of her as she kneeled in front of him. His hand went up her dress and worked up her thighs. He was just at her underwear when he stopped. "We can't do it like this." She stared at him oddly. "You have to take off your underwear."

She choked. "I have to do what now?"

He laughed. "It would be easier for me if you took off your underwear." She nodded slowly. "Plus, I just want to see what color you're wearing today."

She laughed and pushed his shoulder. "You're such a git!"

Sirius pulled her to him and kissed her. "That's why you love me!" She rolled her eyes. "Are you going to take them off or not?"

Sam stood up and nodded. "I will take them off for you, your majesty." He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Just close your eyes." He laughed and nodded. She took a deep breath and watched him as she slipped off her underwear quickly and went to sit on her knees again. "Ok, you can open your eyes now."

He licked his lips and moved closer to her. "Let me see them." She looked at him like he was crazy. He laughed. "Come on! Let me see them!" She rolled her eyes and laughed. She opened her hand and he snatched them from her. He held them up and smirked. "I love it! I love the white satin!" She laughed. He stuffed them in his pocket. "I want a keepsake of this glorious event."

Her eyebrow rose. "When we are done, I want them back."

He winked at her. "I might give them back…if you are nice to me." She laughed again. He gave her a nervous smile. "Are you ready for this, Sammy?" She gulped and nodded. They shared a kiss before he smiled at her. She smiled nervously. Her skirt was resting on the middle of her thighs and he gulped. His hand shook before massaging her inner thigh. They bit their lips when he moved closer. She moved to straddle his wrist and kissed him slowly. He kissed her neck. She gasped in surprise. She held onto his shoulder as she shifted to get comfortable. Her lips rubbed against his roughly. She bit her lip. "Sammy, are you ok?"

She groaned. "My knee is on a rock."

Sirius moved her knee and picked up the rock and threw it as far as he could. He rubbed her knee. "Is that better?" She nodded and kissed him. He kissed his way down to her chest. She gulped and opened her bodice. He slid the straps of her dress down her arms and stared at her breasts. He gulped. "They are just like I remembered." She blushed. "They are beautiful." Her blush grew. He kissed her. "You are beautiful." He moved his hand inside of her and he smiled when her eyes closed. She rubbed his arm before moving her hands to his shoulders. Her head rolled back and he licked her neck. He watched her body rise and her back arched. A wide smile appeared on his face as she started moaning. She rested her temple against his. He groaned in her ear when she whispered his name. He increased his pace and her moans grew louder. He sucked on her chest. She whimpered. "How does it feel, Sammy?"

Sam sucked on his bottom lip. "That felt…amazing." He smiled. "I never felt something so wonderful."

He nipped at her chest. "I want you to feel good, Baby. I want you to feel good." He kissed her. "Can I try something?" She nodded. He eased himself out of his jeans and rubbed himself against her. She bit her lip and moaned. "Does that feel good?" She nodded quickly. "Sammy, I want you so much right now."

She kissed him. "I want you too." She smiled. "Can I try something, Sirius?"

He nodded eagerly. "You can try anything you want!" She whispered in his ear. His eyes widened. "You…you want to try that?" She nodded. He smiled and sat in the chair. He took of his shirt and closed his eyes when she rested her head in the middle of his jeans. He stroked her hair. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered. "I love you."

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Sirius was practically glowing when he walked into the Great Hall for dinner. He couldn't stop thinking about the night before with Sam in the Shrieking Shack. He felt like he could walk on air. He saw her throughout the day and she would blush when he smiled at her. He would walk over to her in the halls and he would talk to her. He tried to kiss her a few times but James and the git ruined that. He sat down with his friends and smiled in surprise when Sam sat down next to him. He smirked. "You look good enough to eat and I'm starving." He whispered. She howled with laughed and rolled her eyes. "Was that too cheesy?"

Sam laughed. "It was a little cheesy." He laughed. "But I liked it."

He smiled. "Is that a fact?" She nodded. His hand slid up her thigh. Her eyes widened. She stared at him in surprise. He smirked. "Are you ok, Sammy? You look a little flushed."

She gulped. "Sirius, what do you think you're doing?"

He laughed lightly. She tried to move his hand away. "Don't do that, Baby." He wanted to kiss her but he couldn't because they weren't alone. He moved her underwear out of the way and she blinked. He leaned in when his hand was inside her. "Do you like that?" She blushed. He kissed her temple. "Eat your dinner or people might start to wonder what I'm doing to you to cause you to moan so loud."

She bit her lip. "Sirius…"

He winked at her. "Just enjoy it, Sammy. Eat your dinner and enjoy it. I know I will." She had to lean against him. He ate his food and talked with their friends. She rested her head on his shoulder and he could have sworn that she was purring. She pushed his hand up further. He laughed. "Are you having fun?" She nodded. "You should eat something." James and Lily were eyeing them closely. They were acting weird. Sam stared at him and smirked. She slid her hand up his thigh and slipped it into his boxers. He choked on his food. He stared at her with wide eyes. "Sammy, what are you doing?"

She smiled. "Fighting fire with fire?" He let out a shaky laugh as she kept stroking him. "Just enjoy it, Sirius."

He leaned against her. "You're evil, Sammy."

She giggled into his neck. He let out a muffled moan. "I learned from the best, Sirius." He smirked. "I want to kiss you, Sirius." He bit his lip. "I want to kiss you real bad."

He increased his pace and she had to do everything in her power not to yell out his name. She gripped his arm tightly. "You can kiss me whenever you want." She moaned lightly. "Are you brave enough to do it now?"

She blinked. "Don't…oh Merlin!" She moaned loudly. He held in a laugh when people stared at her in surprise. She blushed. "I'm sorry about that. It's just really great chicken!" They looked at her oddly. Sirius laughed. She stroked him. He shuddered. "You know you shouldn't dare me to do things."

He smirked. "I love to dare you." He moaned. "I love to see what you'll do." His hands slammed down on the table as he moaned loudly. People stared at him with wide eyes. "She was right! This is some damn good chicken!" Sam shook with laughter. He smirked again. "I'm going to make you pay for that!"

She laughed. "How are you going to make me pay?" He winked at her. She smiled. "I look forward to it." He laughed. "I still want to kiss you."

He licked his lips. "I want to kiss you too." Her smile grew. "I dare you to kiss me right now in front of everyone." Her eyebrow rose. He smirked. "Are you brave enough to do that in front of everyone, Sammy? Are you brave enough to kiss me in front of your brother and your git of a boyfriend?"

She eyed him closely. "Are you really daring me to do that, Sirius?" He nodded. "You know if you dare me to do something, I'll do it." He smirked and nodded. "I could get into a lot of trouble for kissing you."

He leaned in close. "Doesn't that make it even better? Doesn't that make it exciting, Sammy?" She laughed. "The question is…are you brave enough to do it?"

She smirked. "Oh, I'm brave but are you daring?" He laughed. She grabbed his face and kissed him. His eyes widened. He couldn't believe she did it. He knew she would but it still surprised the hell out of him. Their friends stared at them with wide eyes and their mouths hung open in shock. She smirked again. "Was that brave enough for you?"

He laughed. "That certainly was, Baby."

James blinked. "What the hell was that?" They looked at each other and laughed. "Sammy, why did you just kiss him?" She shrugged. He groaned. "Did he dare you to do it?" She laughed and nodded. He gave him a look. "Padfoot, you know you can't dare her to do anything! She will do it!" He smirked and nodded. "Why did you dare her?"

Sirius laughed. "I don't know. I just did." His eyebrow rose. "I forgot she would do it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you did."

He eyed them closely. "Is there something going on between the two of you?" They choked and blushed. "Well, is there?" They looked at each other and shook their heads slowly. "Are you sure?"

He laughed. "We're sure, mate. We're always like this. You know that." He nodded slowly. "Don't worry so much, Prongs. There's nothing going on."

He sighed. "Ok, I'll believe you…for now."

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Sirius pulled Sam to him as he closed his bedroom door. He hugged her from behind and his hands rubbed her stomach. He nibbled on her earlobe. Goosebumps sprang up on her arms as shivers went down her spine. "I've been waiting for this all day." She let out a tiny moan. His hands moved up to her breasts and massaged them. She pressed her back against his chest. He pressed into her. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, Sammy." She moaned again. He started to unbutton her shirt. "You were on my mind all day." They stumbled towards his bed. They fell on top of it. He moved to be on top of her. He licked her neck. "I couldn't concentrate on hexing Snivellus because all I could think about was you."

Sam was breathing heavily. He bit her chest through her bra. "All I could think about was you too. I didn't answer any questions or talk to my friends during classes." He smirked. She took off his shirt. They started kissing aggressively. He took off her shirt. She gulped when he went back to sucking on her earlobes. "That feels really good, Sirius." She grazed his back with her nails. Her legs wrapped around his back. She moaned when he grinded into her. "Sirius, I want you so much."

He bit her neck. "I want you too, Sammy." He rubbed her thigh. "Every time I see you in the halls, I have to stop myself from attacking you." He tried to move his hand under her skirt. She stopped him. He let out a pitiful groan. "Sammy, please, let me do this."

She smiled at him. "I want you to." He smiled. "But what if the others come up here? They'll catch us."

He smiled. "Doesn't that make it more exciting?" She laughed and nodded. He kissed her. "James is stalking Lily while she studies with Remus and Peter is probably in the kitchens stuffing his face. We are completely alone." She giggled. He moaned. "Baby, don't do that unless you mean it."

She kissed him eagerly. "I mean it, Baby. I really mean it."

He took off her underwear and smirked. "By the end of our…tutoring sessions, I'll have a nice collection of your underwear."

She laughed. "I want them back!" He shook his head. She sighed. "I just realized something." He stared at her. "We are getting really close to having sex." He smiled and nodded. "And, that means our time together is almost up." He sighed. She kissed him. "I've had fun with you." He gave her a weak smile. "I know we will have a lot more fun before our time together is up."

He kissed her. "Don't think about that, Sammy. Just concentrate on us being together now." She smiled. "I don't like to think about our time being up. It makes me sad." She caressed his cheek. He kissed her. "I don't want our time to end, Sammy." Her smile grew. "You make me happy."

She hugged him. "You make me happy too, Sirius."

They kissed slowly. He moved his hand inside of her and she closed her eyes. "I like making you happy, Sammy." She moaned. He rested his forehead against her chest. "All I want to do is make you happy." She ran her fingers through his hair. "All I want is to be with you. All I want is you." He whispered. His eyes widened when he realized what he said. He didn't mean it. He was sure he didn't mean it. He sighed. He was wrong. He did mean it. He meant every word of it. He wanted her. He wanted to be with her but she was with the git. She may be with him now but it wouldn't last for long. She kissed him when she was done. He held her tightly to him and listened as her heart raced. He smiled at her. "Sammy?" She smiled. "You…I…"

Her head cocked to the side. "What is it, Baby? What do you want to tell me?"

He gulped. She was staring at him intently. "I love…I love…spending time with you."

She smiled. "I love spending time with you too." He smiled before sighing. He wanted to tell her but he was scared to. He knew she said she was falling in love with him. She told him so and he told her he was falling in love with her too, which was true, but he was still scared. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "Can I…?" She whispered in his ear. He smiled in surprise. She blushed. "Can I do that to you again?"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "Yes, you can!" He closed his eyes as she opened his pants. He moaned and tangled his hands in her hair. His eyes flew open as he moaned. "Sammy!" She smiled at him. He grabbed her and kissed her. "That was…great!" She blushed. He rolled her onto her back as he kissed her. He kissed down her chest and pushed up her skirt. Her eyes widened. He smiled as he parted her legs. "You'll like it." She looked unsure. "Do you trust me, Sammy?" She nodded. "Then trust me now." She gulped and let him continue. She bit her lip when he started. He gripped her hips and pulled her closer to him. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she moaned. Her foot slipped off his shoulder and her hands roamed her body. "I want you, Sammy."

Sam had trouble catching her breath. "I want you too, Sirius." He smiled. "I…I can't wait to be with you. I need to be with you soon."

His smile grew. "We'll be together soon, Baby."

They kept going and didn't hear the door open. Remus was frozen to the spot. He had forgotten one of his books and came back to get it. He was expecting the room to be empty. He wasn't expecting to see this. Sirius was on his knees with his head buried in Sam's skirt. She was on his bed without a shirt and she was moaning loudly. His eyes widened. He couldn't believe it. "What the fuck is going on?"

They jumped apart and stared at him with wide eyes. Sam pulled her shirt on and blushed while she avoided his eyes. Sirius put his arms around her in a protective gesture and she buried her face in his bare chest. "Remus, do you have to look at her like that?" He blinked and shook his head before adverting his eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you were in the library with Lily and James!"

Remus stuttered. He was still in shock. "I-I'm sorry. I forgot a book and…" He shook his head. "Why am I explaining myself to you? I think you should be explaining…_this_ to me!"

Sam's face was on fire. "Sirius is just helping me with something." His eyebrow rose. "He is tutoring me." He looked at her in disbelief. Sirius held in a groan. He knew what Remus was thinking and he knew what he would say. She bit her lip. "I needed help so I could be with Patrick and Sirius was nice enough to help me out."

He nodded. "That was very nice of Sirius."

She smiled. "Yes, it is." He sighed. "You won't tell anyone, will you? They wouldn't understand." He sighed again. "James would kill us and Patrick would be upset and then, he'd kill me and Sirius. I don't want him to get hurt."

Sirius kissed her and smiled. "Don't worry, Baby. I can take care of myself." Remus' eyebrow rose. "And, Remus won't tell anyone about us. Will you, Moony?"

He gave her a weak smile. "I won't tell anyone, Sammy. Your _tutoring sessions_ with Sirius will be kept a secret. You don't have to worry."

She smiled. "Thank you, Remus!"

He kissed her again. "Baby, you should go. I need to speak with him." She nodded. They hugged and kissed. He smiled. "I'll see you later."

She blushed and hugged him tightly. "I'll see you later, Baby." They kissed again. She walked to the door. "Goodbye, Remus."

He sighed. "Goodbye, Sammy."

He sat down on his bed with a sigh and looked at him. "Let me have it, Moony."

He glared at him. "What the hell did I just walk in on, Padfoot?"

He shrugged. "Sam told you. I'm tutoring her."

He scoffed. "That's bullshit! Tell me the truth!"

He glared at the ground. "She came to me and asked for my help. I gave it to her." He nodded slowly. "I didn't ask for this to happen but…"

He sat down on his bed. "What is it, Padfoot?"

Sirius rubbed his eyes. "The night we found her snogging that git…" He nodded slowly. "We were fighting, like usual, and then, she asked me about sex!" He blinked. He let out a bitter laugh. "The git forced her into promising that she would sleep with him on the night of the Christmas Ball." His eyes widened. "She asked me to show her how to do things and at first, I said no. I couldn't do that with her but once I saw that ponce with his hands all over her, I knew I had to do it. I couldn't let him be her first anything! I had to be it!" He stared at him in surprise. "I had to be her first everything, Remus." He nodded quickly. "And I am. I will be."

Remus stuttered. "So, you…the two of you haven't…?" He shook his head. "But it's going to happen soon, right?" He hid his smile and nodded. He let out a low whistle. "This is…nutters." He shrugged. He shook his head slowly. "James will kill you if he finds out."

He nodded eagerly. "Believe me, I know! He would flip out before he killed me and then, he would lock Sammy in her room until she was too old to walk let alone have sex." He laughed lightly. "But I don't care about that." His eyebrow rose. "I don't care if anyone finds out about us." He blinked. "But she does. So, you can't tell anyone, Remus."

He sighed. "I won't say a word, Sirius. You know I won't." He smiled. Remus eyed him closely. "This has been going on for a couple of weeks, right?" He nodded. "Tonight…was the farthest you've gone?" He smirked and nodded. "So, this is just about getting to be her first everything and finally have sex. Am I right?"

His eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

He smirked. "You heard me, Padfoot." He growled. "You like having her fall all over you. You like having her have a crush on you still. You like having her all to yourself but without any sort of commitment." He sneered. "It's just a crush, Padfoot. She loves Patrick. This means nothing to her. You are just a crush."

He stared at him and growled. "No, I'm not! I'm not just a crush to her and she doesn't love that asshole! She loves me!" His eyes widened. "She told me so! She said I used to be just a crush but she is falling in love with me, not him!" He gulped. He didn't expect this type of reaction from him. "She is falling in love with me and I'm-!"

He leaned forward and stared at him in surprise. Sirius' eyes widened and stopped himself before he could say anything more. "And what, Padfoot? And what?" Sirius shook his head quickly. "No, tell me what you were about to say. I need you to finish. What were you going to say?"

He glared at him. "I wasn't going to say anything, Moony!"

He smirked. "Yes, you were! Tell me!"

He growled. "Leave it alone, Moony!"

"No, I won't! What were you going to say?"

"Leave it alone, Remus!"

Remus sat back in shock. "You're…you're in love with her, aren't you?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Admit it, Sirius! Say you're in love with her! Tell me the truth and say you're in love with her!"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm not in love with her! I'm just using her!" Remus rolled his eyes. "I wanted to fool around and she is giving me that! I want sex and soon, she'll give me that too! I don't love her!"

His eyebrow rose. "Is that a fact?" He nodded. "So, it doesn't bother you that once these…_sessions_ are over with, she will go back to being with only Patrick and have sex with him." Sirius glared at the ground. "She is just using you for sex before going off to shag Patrick silly." He stared at his friend closely. Sirius was doing something very unlike him. He was staying completely silent. "I never knew she was like that."

He grabbed him by the shirt and growled. "Don't talk about her like that! She isn't like that! You know that!" He gulped as he nodded. "Don't talk about my girlfriend like that ever again!"

He laughed. "She isn't your girlfriend, Sirius." He let him go. "I know she isn't like that, Sirius. I know she isn't. Sam would never use anyone like that." He sighed and nodded. "Sirius, what's going on?"

He staggered back. "I think I'm in trouble, Remus."

He smiled. "Talk to me about it."

He bit his lip. "I'm _tutoring_ Sam." He nodded slowly. "We've spent a lot of time together. We don't just fool around. We talk and have fun together too." His smile grew. "I…I told her I was falling for her."

His eyes widened. "What?"

He sighed. "I told her I was falling in love with her and…I am." He sighed again. "I'm…"

He smiled again. "Just say it, Padfoot."

He stared at him. "I'm in love with Sammy."

He nodded. "Yes, you are and the first step is admitting you have a problem." He gave him a look. "What are you going to do? She's still with Patrick. What are you going to do when your time with her is over?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

He patted his back. "Well, I'm here for you if you need me."

He smiled. "Thanks a lot, Moony."

He shrugged. "It's nothing, Padfoot." He smiled. "I better go back to Lily. I'm sure James is driving her crazy by now." He laughed and nodded. "It's going to be ok, Sirius. Both of your secrets are safe with me."


	81. Chapter 79: Redefinition Part Two

Author's Note: Yes, I do love smut! Enjoy!

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Chapter 79: Redefinition. (Part Two).

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They walked down the hall, hand in hand. Their palms were sweating and their hearts were racing as they turned red. Tonight was the night. They were finally going to sleep together. They were excited but they were also terrified. This was a big step for them. Sirius stopped her before they entered the room. He kissed her. "Are you nervous?" She nodded. "I am too." She smiled. "But we shouldn't be." She stared at him closely. "We…we care about each other and we trust each other." Her smile grew. He put his hand over her heart. She blushed and put her hand over his heart. He smiled. "We belong to each other, Sammy. You have my heart and I have yours, right?" She nodded eagerly. "It will be ok." She kissed him. He took off his school tie and gulped. "I want you to be surprised so I'm…going to blindfold you." Her eyes widened. He let out a nervous laugh. "Don't you trust me?" She nodded. "Then let me do this." She sighed and let him put the tie around her eyes. He led her into the room and let out a shaky breath. He took off the blindfold and hugged her from behind. He planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. "You can open your eyes now, Sammy." He whispered.

They stepped further into the room and her eyes opened slowly. She blinked in surprise as she looked around. There was a four poster bed with white sheets in front of her covered with rose petals. Candles were strategically placed all around the room. She gasped. "Sirius, it's…its beautiful!" He smiled. She turned around in his arms and kissed him. "How did you do all of this?"

Sirius' smile grew. "This is the Room of Requirement." She looked confused. "When you need a place to go, you stand outside and this room becomes whatever you need it to be." She smiled in surprise. "We needed a place where no one could find us. I wanted it to be a special place for us…and it is sound proof." She blushed. He kissed her. "Do you like it?"

Sam smiled. "I love it, Sirius! Thank you!" He smiled and shrugged. She kissed him. "You really are the greatest guy I know! No one has ever been this…wonderful to me before!" He blushed. She bit her lip. "I…I love you, Sirius." He smiled in surprise. She held onto him tightly and blushed. "I'm in love with you and only you, Sirius." He kissed her eagerly. She moaned in his mouth. They staggered to the bed as they kissed. He tripped and almost fell to the floor. She held him up and smiled. "Are you ok, Baby? Did you hurt yourself?"

He blushed. "I'm fine. I guess I'm just nervous about all of this." She nodded eagerly. He caressed her cheek. "I want tonight to be perfect for you."

She kissed him. "It will be. You've made it special already and it will get even better when we are together." He smiled. She gulped. "What do we do?" He looked at her oddly. "How do we start? What do we do now?"

He gulped. "I don't know." She bit her lip. "I guess…we should start by taking off our clothes." Her face was on fire. He smiled. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You've seen me naked and I've seen…parts of you so we will be fine." She nodded slowly. "We should…um…do it now."

She nodded. They got undressed in silence. She felt his eyes on her and covered herself as her blush grew. "Sirius…" He just stared at her. He couldn't even blink. "Why…why are you staring at me like that?"

His mouth was dry. "You're…you're naked." She giggled. He grew excited at the sound of it. Her eyes widened when she stared at him. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

She let out a nervous giggle. "You're naked." He laughed. "You look good naked."

He smirked. She blushed when she realized what she said. He walked over to her slowly. Her eyes grew wide with each step he took. He kissed her. "You look good naked too, Sammy." Her blush grew. He caressed her cheek. "I think you should be naked all of the time."

She nuzzled his neck with her nose. "That won't get me three years worth of detention or anything." He laughed. She sighed in content when he held her close to him. She smiled slowly. "I like this." His eyebrow rose. "I like being alone with you." He smiled. "I like being this close to you." His smile grew. "I like how you feel. I like how your skin feels against mine."

He kissed her slowly. "I like it too, Sammy." They kissed. "I love it." He picked her up and put his arm under her knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. He placed her down on the bed gently. They lay down beside each other and shared a smile. "Sammy, can I tell you something?" She nodded. "All this time we've been spending together…our fooling around and when we hang out…this is the happiest I've ever been." She smiled in surprise. "Being with you makes me happy and I know no one else will ever make me this happy again."

She smiled again. "Is that the truth?" He nodded eagerly. "That's funny." His eyebrows furrowed together. "It's funny because being with you makes me happy." He smiled. "I never felt like this before. I've never been this happy."

He moved closer to her. "Will anyone make you feel like this? Will anyone ever make you feel the way I do?"

She shook her head. "No, no one else will ever make me feel like this. No one will ever make me feel the way you do."

He smiled as he moved to be on top of her. She gulped. He opened her legs and positioned himself in between them. "Are you ready, Baby?" She nodded quickly. "I need you to say it. I have to hear you say it."

She blinked. "I'm…I'm ready, Sirius." He smiled again. "Are…are you ready?"

He nodded. "I'm ready, Sammy."

She kissed him. "Will you go slowly?" His head cocked to the side. "Do you promise to go slow and…um…be gentle with me?" He smiled. "Do you promise?"

He caressed her cheek. "I promise, Sammy. I promise I'll take care of you." She smiled. "I'll always take care of you." He kissed her. "All I want is to be with you and take care of you."

She smiled. "I want to be with you too."

They kissed. "Can…do you want to start?" She nodded quickly. They started off as slow as possible. Sirius took his time and stopped when she needed him to. He made sure he didn't go too fast even though he wanted to. He kissed her over and over and over again. Sam dug her nails into his back as he moved against her. She had tears in her eyes. It wasn't just the pain or the fact that she wasn't a virgin anymore. It was the fact that she was making love for the first time with the one person she loved more than anything. She was with Sirius. He was with her. He wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with him. She never felt this way about anyone before. She knew in that moment that her dream was right. Sirius was the love of her life. He was her soul mate. He made her feel happy. He made her feel loved, treasured, desirable, sexy, smart, and beautiful. She felt like she could do anything when she was with him. She was completely in love with him. A part of her was elated to be with him like this but another part of her was saddened. After tonight, they only had four times left to be together before their time was up. She closed her eyes and decided not to think about not being with him. She just wanted to enjoy the little time they had left together. Sirius moaned in her ear. He felt lightheaded. He couldn't believe he was actually here with her. He couldn't believe he was losing his virginity to his best friend's little sister. He was losing his virginity to the only girl he will ever love. He knew he would only ever love her. She meant everything to him. He fell, tripped, stumbled, and stuttered into this…whatever it was with her and he wound up head over heels in love. He thought of her constantly. He dreamt of her every night. He thought about her when he was alone. He was madly in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it but he didn't want to stop it. He wanted it to keep going. He wanted the passion they shared, the love they shared, and the fun they had to continue until nothing was left. He smiled against her neck when she let out a whimper. He knew they would never be able to get enough of each other. There would always be something between them. They would always be attracted to each other. They would always share this passion…this fire. They would always love each other. They needed each other. They needed to be around each other. They needed to touch each other, kiss each other, and they needed to love each other. They needed each other to survive. He smiled at her. She gave him a weak smile. He eased in her further and she gasped. He kissed her gently. He rested his forehead against her as he moved against her. She bit her lip as her legs wrapped around his back. He grunted in her ear. "You're beautiful, Sammy." He kissed her again. "You're beautiful." She stared at him with those wide and innocent eyes of hers and he licked his lips. "I want you, Sammy. I want all of you." He whispered. "I want all of you…forever." She let out a strangled moan. "You're all I want. I don't need anything or anyone but you." She blinked in surprise. "Do you need me too?" She nodded quickly. "Do you love me?" She nodded. They kissed. He was all the way in and she gasped. "You feel so good, Sammy. Being with you like this feels so good." She moaned. He stared at her closely. Their time together was almost up and he hated that. He hated the fact that she would soon be gone and with Patrick. He hated that she would be with him like this. He shook his head. He couldn't let himself think of that. He just wanted to enjoy the time he had left with her. He just wanted to enjoy being with the girl he was in love with for the rest of the time he had left with her. He moved against her faster being exclaiming loudly. "Thank you, Sammy! Thank you!" She looked at him oddly. She had no idea why he was thanking her. He rolled off of her and put his hands under his head. He started at the ceiling in wonderment. A wide smile played on his lips. He couldn't believe he wasn't a virgin anymore. He couldn't believe he just had sex. He couldn't believe he had lost his virginity…had sex for the first time with the girl he was in love with. He let out a giddy laugh. "That was…incredible!" His smile grew. "That was the best time I've ever had!" He turned his head and stared at her. "Are you ok?"

She nodded quickly. "I'm…I'm fine. How are you?"

He beamed at her. "I'm fantastic!" He turned to be on his side. She stared at the ceiling with wide eyes as she clutched the sheet to her chest tightly. His finger moved up and down her arm in slow and gentle motions. He kissed her. "You were great!" She gave him a weak smile. His eyebrows furrowed together. "Are you ok?" She nodded quickly. His eyes widened. "Sammy, are you sure you're ok?" She nodded. He gulped. "Do…do you regret it?" She glanced at him. "Do you regret what we did? Do you regret sleeping with me?" She had tears in her eyes. He looked at her in confusion. "You…you said we could. You said…this was the whole reason for our tutoring sessions. You said we could sleep together." Her chin trembled. He blinked. "I can't believe you regret it."

She shook her head. "Sirius, I don't regret it! I don't regret sleeping with you at all!"

He looked unsure. "You don't?" She shook her head again. She snuggled into him. He wrapped his body around her. He sighed in content. He loved being with her like this. He loved being this close to her. He cupped her cheek with his hand and kissed her slowly. "If you don't regret it then why are you crying?"

She put her arms around his chest and kissed him. "I'm…I was crying because I've…I've never experienced anything like that before." He smiled. "I've never experienced something so…wonderful!" His smile grew. She kissed him. "It did hurt…a lot but you were gentle like you promised and you stopped when I needed you to without me having to ask. It was like you knew what I needed."

He kissed her. "I did know what you needed. We are connected, Sammy. We always have been and we always will be." She smiled. "We know what the other needs and that won't ever stop."

She snuggled into him again and smiled. "That's wonderful." She gave his chest a brief kiss. "You make it sound so wonderful. You make us sound so extraordinary."

He smiled. "We are extraordinary."

She caressed his cheek. "I was also crying because I'm not a virgin anymore."

He laughed. "I know! I'm not one either!" She giggled. "Isn't it wonderful?"

She smiled. "Is everything wonderful to you now that you had sex?" He nodded eagerly. They kissed. "You make everything sound wonderful to me tonight."

Sirius kissed her eagerly. "Everything is wonderful tonight, Sammy. I'm here with you and…we just had sex!" She laughed. He moved to be on top of her again. "Can we do it again?" Her eyebrow rose. "Can we?" She blinked. "What's wrong? Don't you want to do it again?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, I do but…" He stared at her closely. "Do you want to waste all of our times together in one night?"

He laughed lightly. "Tonight is…it only counts as one time." Her head cocked to the side. "We can do it sixty times but it will only count as one."

Her eyes widened. "You…you want to do it sixty times tonight?"

He laughed again. "I'm a teenager! Of course I want to do it more than once!" She giggled. "Do you want to do it again?"

She laughed. "Yes, I do."

His eyebrow rose. "Are you sure?" She nodded eagerly. He kissed her. "Thank Merlin. I don't know what I would have done if you said no."

She smirked. "I'm sure you would have thought of something."

He kissed her neck and laughed lightly. "You know me too well, Sammy. You know me too well." They kissed slowly before they began again.

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Sirius was glowing as they walked down the hall. He had sex three times with her in one night. Sam's face was on fire whenever he looked at her. He was practically skipping down the hall. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and held in a laugh. He was just so happy and giddy. He was like a kid at Christmas. He stopped walking and she stumbled. "Are you ok?" She nodded. "Are…are you still in pain?" She blushed and nodded. He gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know it would hurt you so much."

Sam smiled. "It's ok, Sirius. I'll be fine." He looked unsure. She hugged him tightly. He sighed in content as he held her to him. "I had a great time tonight and I don't regret it." He smiled. "I don't regret being with you at all."

He kissed her. "You don't regret me being your first?" She giggled into his neck as she shook her head. His smile grew. "I don't regret you being my first either." She smiled. They kissed. "You look beautiful." He whispered in her ear. She stared at him closely. He nibbled on her earlobe. She shivered. "You're beautiful, Sammy."

She blushed. "Do you really think so, Sirius?"

He smiled. "I know so."

Her blush grew. "I think you're handsome." His smile grew. "You're the best looking boy I've ever seen or met."

He smirked. "Is that right?" She nodded eagerly. He moved around and hugged her from behind. "Thank you for that, Baby. That was really sweet." She blushed and shrugged. He held her tightly as he kissed her neck. "I can't wait until we can do it again."

She bit her lip and laughed. "Is that right?" He laughed into her neck. She turned to look at him and smiled when he kissed her. "When do you want to do it again?"

He stood in front of her and grabbed the back of her neck before kissing her eagerly. "Do you want to go back to our room and do it again now?" Her eyebrow rose. He laughed and shrugged. "I had to ask." She laughed. He kissed her again. "What are you doing tomorrow night?" She bit her lip. He caressed her cheek. "Are you doing anything?"

She sighed and nodded. "Patrick wants to spend time with me. I've been ignoring him."

His face darkened and he pulled away from her. "I see."

She grabbed his hand when he tried to walk away. "Don't be mad." He sighed and looked at her. She held his face in her hands. "I'll be thinking of you the entire time." A small smile appeared on his face. She blushed. "I always think about you, Sirius. It doesn't matter who I'm with or if I'm alone because I always think about you." They kissed. "I'm in love with you, Sirius." He smirked. "I…I could spend a little time with him before I come back to you." She hugged him tightly. He closed his eyes and held onto her for dear life. "I'll always come back to you, Sirius." She whispered.

Sirius caressed her cheek. "Is that the truth, Sammy? Will you always come back to me? Did you mean that?" She nodded eagerly. He smiled and kissed her. "I love…spending time with you too, Sammy." She smiled. They hugged again. "I can't wait for tomorrow night."

Sam blushed again. "I can't wait either."

They walked toward the portrait hole with their arms wrapped around each other tightly. "Tonight was the best night of my life!" She giggled. "I really can't wait until tomorrow night." She nodded eagerly. They kissed. "Have sweet dreams tonight, Sammy." She smiled. "Will you dream of me?" She nodded. He smiled. "I'll dream about you too. I dream about you every night." Her smile grew. "I think about you when I'm alone. I think about you and I touch myself the way you touch me." She blushed. He winked at her. "Did you like hearing that, Baby? Do you like knowing I think about you and do that?" She bit her lip. He kissed her eagerly again. "Goodnight, Sammy. I'll be dreaming about you."

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Sirius bounced into the Great Hall and sat down next to his friends. "Good morning, gentlemen! Isn't it a beautiful day?" They looked at him oddly. He laughed. "It is a glorious day! The birds are chirping, the air is fresh, and everything is right in the world!"

They blinked. They shared a look and shrugged. James stared at him closely. "What is with you, Padfoot?" He laughed. "I'm serious. Why is sunshine coming out of your ass today?" He smirked and winked at him. His eyes widened. "Did you…? Did you have…?" Sirius laughed again. He stared at him in amazement. "This must be a great day for you!"

He nodded eagerly. "It really is!" Remus and Peter still looked confused. "Gentlemen, last night was the greatest night of my life!" They nodded slowly. "Men, your amazing and loyal friend Sirius Black, had sex for the first time and…it was fucking fantastic!" Their mouths hung open in shock. "You can start asking questions now if you must!"

Peter looked at him with anxious eyes. "Was…you had sex with a girl?" They looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world. He shrugged. "I was just making sure."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course it was with a girl, Wormtail! What kind of question was that?" He shrugged again. "Ok, who has a real question?"

James laughed. "I do!" He stared at him. "Who was the girl?"

He shifted uncomfortably. Remus' eyes widened. The way Sirius looked away from James told him the answer. Sirius and Sam finally had sex. "It was with the girl I'm dating. You know her. What's her face?" James rolled his eyes and laughed. "It's Patricia…something."

He laughed. "You better remember her name soon, Padfoot. She might not like it if you forgot it while you're doing it again." He nodded. "How was it?"

He beamed. "It was fucking fantastic!" They laughed. "I've never experienced anything like it before in my life!" They nodded. "And, we're doing it again tonight!" They blinked. He smirked. "We did it three times last night!"

Their mouths hung open in shock. James shook his head. "Holy shit! That's amazing!"

He nodded eagerly. "I know! She can't wait until tonight either!" They laughed. "I wish it was tonight already!"

He smirked at his best friend. "I bet you do, Padfoot!"

Remus stared at him when James turned away to talk to Peter. "Padfoot, you should tone it down a bit." He whispered. He looked at him in confusion. He rolled his eyes. "It's one thing to brag about sex to your friends. It's another to brag about sex to the brother of the girl you slept with."

Sirius nodded. "You're right. I see your point."

He rolled his eyes again. "Keep that in mind…especially since Sam just walked in." Sirius smiled like an idiot. He laughed. "Just remember to tone it down."

He nodded. "I will, Moony."

Sam and Lily walked over to them. Lily sat down near Remus. Sam smiled. "Good morning, Remus." He blushed and nodded. Sirius' eyebrow rose at this. He wasn't sure why he was blushing. It could be that hearing the details of what happened between them the night before. His eyes widened. Or, it was that Remus had a crush on Sam and she didn't have a clue. Sam looked at Sirius and all the thoughts in his mind were gone when their eyes connected. Her face was on fire as she smiled. "Hi Sirius."

Sirius had a silly grin on his face and he blushed. "Hi Sammy." Remus and Lily shared a look and rolled their eyes as they held in their laughter. They were too oblivious to notice. All they were focused on was each other. James turned to look at them. His eyebrows furrowed together. They were acting weird. "You look great today."

She blushed and smiled. "You look great too."

He smiled. "How are you this glorious morning?"

She bit her lip. He held in a groan. He really wished they were alone right then. "I'm great!" He smirked. She blushed again. She sat down next to him. His heart raced as he blushed. Lily's eyebrow rose. This was a side of Sirius she never saw before. Remus held in a laugh. Sirius was completely in love with her but he was too stupid to tell her. If he didn't tell her soon, Remus feared something bad would happen between them. "How's your morning so far?"

He smiled. "It's going great so far." She blushed. "How's your day?"

She let out a tiny laugh. Their hands brushed and they blushed. "It's great." His smile grew. "How's your day?"

James let out a tiny laugh and patted him on the back. "It's not as great as last night, right, Padfoot?" Sirius held in a groan. Sam looked at them in confusion. He shook his head and laughed. "Don't worry about it, Sammy. You're too young to know."

He held her hand and leaned in. "Don't mind James. He's just being a git." She giggled. He winced when Remus kicked his shin under the table. He glared at him. Remus nodded towards James. He sighed and nodded. He let go of her hand and moved away from her. "So, what are we doing today, Prongs?"

He shrugged. "What do we do every Friday?" He shrugged in response. He rolled his eyes. "We go to class and then, we have Quidditch practice."

He nodded slowly. "That's right." He gulped. He felt Sam next to him. She was laughing with Lily and all he wanted to do was spend time with her but he couldn't. He couldn't let James know he was in love with his sister or that he was sleeping with her. "What are we doing tonight?"

He smirked. "I thought you had _plans_ tonight, Padfoot?"

He gulped again when he heard Sam choke. "Those…_plans_ won't be until later." He sighed when she tapped his shoulder. He stared at her. "Yes?"

She smiled. "Sirius, can I talk to you in private?"

He took a deep breath. He knew what he had to do but he didn't want to. He wanted to go talk to her but he knew he couldn't. "I'm a little busy right now." She nodded slowly. He gave her a look. "No offense but do you have to sit so close to me?" She blinked. He swallowed the knot that formed in his throat. "I thought you were over that crush you had on me."

She stuttered. "I…I-I…I am…was…what?"

Lily glared at him. "Who peed in your pumpkin juice, Black?" He looked at her in surprise. "There's no reason to be a jerk! She wasn't doing anything to you!"

He rolled his eyes. "She is crowding me!" He winked at James. "Do you think she'll start following me around again? That was so much fun!" James chuckled. Sam stared at her plate in confusion. Remus sighed. He should have been clear with Sirius. He should have made it clear that he needed to tone down his feelings for her, not be a complete prick to her. He smirked at her. "I'd love to have the president of my fan club follow me around again! You're a lot more fun than the other girls!"

She bit her lip as her chin trembled. She didn't understand why he was acting like that. One moment, he was being sweet and kind. Now, he was being a big jerk. "I…I have to go to class. Alice needs my help with our assignment."

She watched her stand up. "I'll go with you, Sammy. Amos Diggory said he needed to talk about something."

James choked on his toast. "You're meeting with that git?" She rolled her eyes. "He is just trying to…_shag_ you!" She rolled her eyes again. "He wishes he could!" He smirked. "But we can't all be as lucky as Sirius was last night!"

Sirius groaned. Sam stared at him in horror. "Prongs, could we just keep that between us? I doubt Patricia wants everyone to know. It's a private thing."

He looked at him oddly. "But you were literally just bragging about it."

She glared at him. "You were _bragging_ about it?"

He smirked at her. "I wasn't bragging really, Sammy." He shrugged. "Well, I was." He laughed. "It's just sex! It's not like it meant anything to me!" Her face fell. Remus held in a groan. "I got what I needed from her but I still want to respect her privacy."

She blinked back her tears. "Y-You just used her for sex?" He nodded and shrugged. "It didn't mean anything at all to you?"

He laughed again. "All it meant to me was that I'm not a virgin anymore."

He stared at his sister closely. "Sammy, are you ok? You look upset."

She stared at the ground. "Is that how all boys think about sex, James?" His head cocked to the side. "Do you all sleep with girls even if you don't love them? Do you all just use them like that to get what you want?"

He gave her a look. "I'm not answering that! We aren't talking about sex! You're too young for that!" She nodded. "Has that git you're dating tried anything?" She didn't answer him. "Samantha, has he tried to do…_that_ with you? Because if he has, I need to hex him! You're too young for any of that! It's bad enough you kiss him!"

She sighed. "No, he hasn't, James." She looked at Sirius with hurt in her eyes. He gulped. "Patrick cares about me. He doesn't rush me because he knows I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever have sex if that's the way boys view it."

His eyes widened. "Do you mean that?" She nodded. He beamed at her. "Sammy, that is the greatest thing I've heard you say…ever! I'll be sure to write to Dad and tell him he doesn't have to worry anymore!"

She nodded. "You should do that then. You can tell him I will _never_ have sex with anyone ever!" Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. "I have to go meet Alice now."

He blinked. "Sammy?" She glanced at him. "What…what did you need to talk to me about?"

She wouldn't look at him. "It…was nothing." He sighed. "I don't want…need to talk to you anymore."

She glared at him "You're such a jerk! All of you are jerks! I don't know why girls throw themselves at you!"

Remus looked at Lily in surprise. "What did I do? I didn't say anything! I don't think of sex or girls like that! What did I do?"

Sam gave him a small smile. He blushed. Sirius grumbled under his breath. "You didn't do anything, Remus." He smiled. "You don't view girls or sex like they do?" He shook his head. She smiled again. "I always knew you were a great guy." He blushed again. Sirius glared at him. "I'll see you later, Remus." His blush grew as he nodded. "I did want to talk to you about the book you lent me."

He stared at her. "Did you like it?" She nodded eagerly. "Did you like the part where the guy-?"

She laughed. "That was the best part! I never laughed so hard in my life!" He laughed and nodded. Sirius shifted around. He didn't like this one bit. "You were right! I really loved it!" He smiled. "But we'll have to talk about it later." He nodded. "I wanted you to explain to me when he-"

He glared at her. "I thought you were leaving?" She looked at him in surprise. "Why don't you go meet your little friends and stop throwing yourself at Moony?" Her eyes widened. "It's bad enough you used to follow me around! You should leave him alone and concentrate on your git boyfriend!"

Her chin trembled. "I never knew I was such a bother to you, Sirius." He looked away from her. "I won't bother you anymore." She glanced at Remus. "I'm sorry if I was bothering you, Remus." He shook his head aggressively. "I won't bother you either."

He laughed. "We'll see how long that lasts. Am I right, Moony?" Remus kicked his shin again. He winced and winced again when Lily slapped him upside his head. "That wasn't very civilized, Evans!"

She sneered. "You don't know anything about being civil, Black! You all, with the exception of Remus, are disgusting pigs!" She grabbed her arm. "Let's go, Sammy! Our I.Q.'s will drop if we stay around them any longer!"

Sirius rubbed his shin and glared at him when the girls left. "What the hell was that for?" Remus rolled his eyes. "Why did you kick me _again_?"

Remus gave him a look. "Well, you were being a dick to Sam!" He hissed. Sirius stuttered. "I told you to tone down your feelings for her! I didn't tell you to be a prick!" He groaned. "And, the things you said to her…_all_ of the things you said to her were completely out of line! You really upset her!" He groaned again. "It will be a miracle if she talks to you again let alone sleeps with you!"

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I'm in trouble…real bad trouble with her, aren't I?" He nodded eagerly. He let out a pitiful groan. "I'm so fucking screwed, Moony!"

He nodded. "Yes, you are." He sighed. "But it will be ok." He stared at him intently. "You'll have to…ignore her whenever James is around or he'll find out." He nodded. "But the first chance you get, find a way to talk to her alone and explain. Tell her the truth. Tell her you weren't bragging." He nodded again. "And, tell her you love her. It'll help."

He took a deep breath and smiled. "Thanks a lot, Moony! I'll do just that!"

He rolled his eyes and nodded. "I hope it works out for you, Padfoot. I really hope it does."

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Lily sat in the common room with Sam as she cried. She sighed as she stared at her best friend. "Sammy, why are you so upset about this? It's not like Patrick said those things to you or ignored you. It's just Sirius. You know he has a tendency to be a jerk. Why are you so upset about it this time?" She cried harder. She moved over and sat next to her. She held her as she cried. "Why is it so different now?"

Sam's chin trembled. "It's different because…I'm in love with him." Her eyes widened. "I'm really in love with him."

She shook her head. "No, you can't be. It was just a crush. You had a _crush_ on Sirius. You _love_ Patrick. Sirius was just a crush but you love Patrick, right?"

She sighed. "I do love Patrick but I'm _in love_ with Sirius."

She blinked. "What…?" She bit her lip. "How did that change? Why is it so different now? What changed everything?"

She took a deep breath before telling Lily everything. She told her every single detail. Lily's mouth opened in shock. "That's everything." She nodded dumbly. "That's how things changed."

She let out a low whistle. "That was…unexpected." She nodded. "So you're really in love with him?" She nodded eagerly. "Does he love you too?" She nodded again. "Has he told you?"

She nodded. "He told me he was falling in love with me." Lily nodded. "And, every time I tell him I love him, he says he loves spending time with me too."

She sighed. "Sammy, that's not the same thing." She shook her head. "It's not the same thing." She looked confused. "If he did love you, he would tell you and not cop out with an 'I love spending time with you too'."

She bit her lip. "But he does other things." She nodded slowly. She smiled and blushed. "He puts his hand over my heart and I put my hand over his. He says my heart belongs to him and his heart belongs to me." Lily smiled. "He never rushed me. He let me take my time to be comfortable enough to have sex. He does love me, Lily. He…just hasn't said it back to me yet but he will…one day."

She rubbed her eyes. "Sammy, you're my best friend and you know I love you to death, right?" She nodded. "I love you like a sister and I just want to look out for you. I just want to help you."

She smiled. "I know this, Lily. I love you like a sister too."

She smiled. "I'm glad to hear it." They hugged. "I still can't believe you cheated on Patrick with Sirius."

She shook her head. "I wasn't cheating! Sirius said so!" Her eyebrow rose. She explained that it was just tutoring sessions and how Sirius said it was like a known but never talked about rule to experiment with friends. "So, you see, I wasn't cheating."

Lily looked at her incredulously. "Sammy, I love you but how stupid are you?" She looked at her in shock. She sighed. "That came out wrong. How naïve are you?" She looked confused. "You had doubts about Sirius tutoring you but he explained it all away, right?" She nodded slowly. "He lied to you, Sammy. There is no such rule and those tutoring sessions…you did cheat on Patrick." She gasped. Lily sighed when she started calling herself stupid and how she should tell Patrick. "Sweetie, you aren't stupid…and you shouldn't tell Patrick. It would just make things worse." She nodded slowly. "You just need to stop doing…_that_ with Sirius."

Sam wiped her eyes. "So, it was all a lie?" She nodded slowly. Her chin trembled. "Do you think he was just using me? Do you think he ever loved me like I love him?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." She started to cry again. "It seems like he was just using you to get sex and I don't think he loves you." Her cries grew loud. "But I could be wrong!" She sighed. "But he did lie to convince you to fool around and have sex with him." She sighed again. "And, he was bragging about it with his idiotic friends." Sam held onto her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you mad at me?"

She shook her head aggressively. "I'm not mad at you. I know you are just looking out for me like always." She nodded slowly. "I'm mad at him. He has lied to me. He convinced me I wasn't cheating and I was an idiot to fall for it." She shook her head. She cried. "I can't believe I lost my virginity to him and he bragged about it to _my brother_ of all people!" She rubbed her back as she cried. "I…I never want to speak to him again! I don't want to even know his name!"

She sighed. "It's going to be ok, Sammy."

She gulped down her tears. "I can't believe I did those things with him! I can't believe I fell for his stupid lies! I can't believe I fell in love with a jerk like him!"

Her eyes widened when she heard his voice. "He's here, Sammy. Do you want to see him?" She shook her head. "Go upstairs and I'll let him have it." She smiled. They hugged. "I'll make sure the git doesn't bother you again." She ran upstairs. Lily stood up and glared at Sirius when he walked in with James. "Black, we have to talk _NOW_!" His eyes widened. "Get over here! We need to talk in private!" He glanced at James and shrugged before walking over to her. He stared at her in confusion. "You have a lot of nerve!" He blinked. "You're a stupid and selfish git! Don't you have any shame?"

Sirius' eyes widened. "What the hell are you talking about? What did I do now?" Her eyes narrowed. He sighed. "Are you talking about how I treated Sam this morning?" She gritted her teeth. "Look, I know I was a jerk to her and I'm really sorry about that. When I see her, I'll apologize. I didn't mean to upset her. She'll forgive me for the way I acted."

Lily let out a bitter laugh. "I wasn't thinking about that but I'm still pissed about that too." He motioned for her to continue. She dragged him over to the corner when she noticed James was getting too close. "Sam told me everything."

He looked at her oddly. "She told you everything about what?" She smirked. It took him a second for him to realize what she meant. He choked and started to cough. She rolled her eyes. "S-She told you everything?" She nodded. He rubbed his eyes. "Why did she do that? She wanted to keep it all a secret so the git and James wouldn't find out!" He hissed.

Her eyebrow rose. "Do you mean that lovely _rule_ and those secret _tutoring sessions _you had with her?" He gulped. She laughed. "Sirius, she told me it was her idea but when she had doubts and didn't want to cheat on the git, you told her about this miraculous rule that worked in your favor." He nodded and shrugged as he hid his smile. She sneered. "You're a selfish prick!"

He blinked. "How do you figure that? She wanted to fool around and have sex but she got scared. I just made it ok for her to do it. I didn't do anything wrong."

She rolled her eyes. "You manipulated the situation to your favor."

He scoffed. "What harm did I do? We had fun. She got to experience everything for the first time with someone she trusted. I gave her exactly what she wanted. I didn't do anything wrong."

She stared at him. "You broke her heart."

His head cocked to the side. "How did I do that?" She growled. "I told you I didn't mean what I said to her. I will apologize."

Lily rubbed her eyes. "It's not just that. You hurt her a lot by the way you acted today but…she knows, Sirius." His eyebrows furrowed together. She sighed. "I told her that there is no such rule and the tutoring sessions were her cheating on Patrick."

Sirius choked. "Y-You told her?" She nodded. "How did she take it?" She gave him a look. He took a deep breath. "You said she was heartbroken?" She nodded again. "Was…how…what…h-how did she take it?"

She sighed. "How do you think she took it?" He stared at her closely. "She cried. She cried a lot." He sighed. "She doesn't want to talk to you ever again. She doesn't even want to know your name." He was breathing heavily. "She knows you were just using her. She knows you don't really love her. She knows when you said you were falling in love with her, it was just a big lie and…she hates you." He glared at the ground. "She…I'm here to warn you to stay away from her." He gulped. "She means it, Sirius. Sam doesn't want to talk to you. She doesn't want you to go near her again."

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to find Sam and explain. He wanted to yell, scream, and shout until he was heard. He ran a rough hand over his face before he kicked the arm chair next to him. Lily jumped. "She can't mean that!" People stared at him in surprise. She couldn't believe he was acting like this. She wasn't expecting him to react this way. He stared at her and she gulped. "She can't mean that, Lily!" He grabbed her arms. "She loves me! She's in love with me! She can't just stop!" She pushed him off of her and rubbed her arms. "I can't just stop talking to her! I can't stop being around her like that!" He looked at her with desperate eyes. Her eyes widened. "Lily, you have to talk to her for me! You can help me! You can convince her to talk to me! You can convince her to take me back!"

She shook her head. "I won't do that!" His face fell. "And, she was never with you in the first place! She is with Patrick! She loves Patrick. She doesn't want you around anymore! She is giving up on you and her feelings for you! She is focusing on him now! She is choosing to be with him and to love him!"

He growled. "She loves me! She could never love him as much as she loves me! I need to explain it to her! I need to explain what happened!"

She eyed him closely. "Why do you even care?"

He glared at her. "She is…she has been my friend for the past three years! Of course I care that she has decided to stop talking to me! I care that she never wants to see me again!" He stared at the ground with sad eyes. "I can't lose her like this, Lily."

She stared at him. "Sirius, do…do you love her?"

He nodded. "Of course I do! She is my friend after all!"

She gave him a look. "You know that's not what I meant, Black!" He sighed. "Do you love Sammy the way she loves you? Do you love her like…a boyfriend loves his girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't."

She sneered. "Then stay away from her!"

He sat down on the window seat. "I can't do that!"

She sighed. "Why can't you respect her wishes?"

He looked at her while his chin trembled and his eyes filled with tears. "I can't because…she is my friend. She means too much to me to let go of her. I can't let things end like this. I can't lose her like this." She nodded slowly. "And, I…I'm in love with her, Lily." Her eyes widened. He had a pained look on his face. "I can't lose her. I never meant for this to happen but it did. I fell in love with her." She sat down next to him slowly. "We didn't just fool around and then have sex. We spent time together. We talked and joked around. We…talked about every little thing that popped into our heads and it was nice knowing I had someone besides the guys to go to. It was nice talking to someone who wouldn't judge me for what I told them. It was nice having her around." A small smile appeared on her face. "I look forward to our time together. It wasn't just because we fooled around. It was because I truly love being around her. I love how she makes me feel." He stared at her closely. "She makes me feel like I can do anything. She looks at me like I'm the best person in the world. I'm the only one who can make her happy and understands her. I love how she can make me feel like that." She nodded slowly. He sighed. "I'm in love with her. She's the only one I've ever felt this way for. When I'm with her, I feel truly happy."

She nodded. "I see." He let out a shaky breath. "Sirius, if you feel this way, why haven't you told her?"

He laughed lightly. "I'm too scared to tell her. I'm afraid she'd reject me if I did tell her how I felt."

She shook her head. "No, she wouldn't do that. Sammy loves you. She would never reject you if you told her how you felt." He stared at her. She sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to say this…I've had _a lot _of information thrown at me today." He nodded. "But I think you should tell Sammy how you feel." His eyes widened. "You need to get her alone, explain why you lied, and tell her that you're in love with her."

Sirius sighed. "Do you think she'll forgive me?" She shrugged. "Do you think I can get her back?" She shrugged again. "Do you believe me when I say I'm in love with her?"

Lily smiled. "Yes, I do." He smiled. "I knew something was different between the two of you. I just didn't know what it was." He nodded. "Now that I think about it, I can see that the two of you are in love." His smile grew. "I've never seen Sammy happy with that git the way she is happy when she is around you." He let out a tiny laugh. "You should go to her and be honest. Tell her how you truly feel and I think you will be pleasantly surprised."

He smiled. "Thank you, Lily."

She shrugged. "It was nothing, Sirius." He shook his head. "Thank me when the two of you get together." He laughed and nodded. "Do your best to get her away from that git, ok?"

He laughed again. "I will, Lily. I promise I will."

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Sam was on her way to meet Patrick and she held in a groan when she saw Sirius walking towards her. She turned around to take the long way to meet Patrick but Sirius caught up to her. He turned her around and grabbed her. She fought against him. "Let me go, Black! I mean it! Let me go!"

Sirius shook his head. "I can't do that, Sammy! We need to talk!" He put her over his shoulder when she kept fighting against him. He opened the door to an empty classroom and shut the door. He brought her over to the window before he let her go. He ducked when she tried to punch him. His eyes widened. "What the hell was that?" She slapped him. He groaned. "When did you get so violent?"

She glared at him. "I got this way when I found out how much of a prick you really are!"

He groaned again when she punched him in the stomach after he tried to touch her. "Baby, we need to talk! If you would calm down, I'd explain!"

She sneered. "Don't call me that! I'm not your baby!"

He gulped. He never saw her this angry before. "I won't call you that!" She growled. "Sammy, I owe you an apology and an explanation."

She shook her head. "I don't want to hear it!" He sighed. "Are you going to tell me again that you were just using me? Are you going to tell me how stupid I was to fall for your crap? Is that what you're going to tell me?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I wasn't going to say that." She scoffed. "Sammy, I'm sorry!" She stared at him in surprise when he yelled. "I…was the world's biggest dick to you today." She nodded eagerly. "I said all of that crap to you and then I ignored you but I do have a good reason." Her eyebrow rose. He took the time to tell her about Remus' advice. "I misunderstood what he meant. I thought I had to be a jerk to make sure James didn't find out about us but I didn't and I'm sorry."

She looked down at the ground. "Why were you bragging about last night?"

He shook his head. "I wasn't bragging!" She rolled her eyes. "I swear I wasn't! I was just so happy that we were finally together! I was so happy and I did let it slip about what happened but I lied to them. I said it was with…uh…Patricia. I protected us from being found out." He took a cautious step towards her. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Sammy. I never want to hurt you."

Her chin trembled. "You lied to me. You were just using me, Sirius." He shook his head. "I'm in love with you but…you lied." A tear slipped down her cheek. He sighed. "You knew I didn't want to cheat on Patrick so you lied to get me into bed." He glared at the ground. "You…were just using me and then, you lied about falling in love with me."

He grabbed her face and kissed her. "I wasn't using you! I needed…you wanted me to be your first and I needed to be your first too!" She blinked. "Sammy, I did lie but I only lied to get you to let me be your first! That's all I lied about! I swear to you that this is the truth!" She wouldn't look at him. "Every time we were together, I was being honest. Every time I told you how happy you made me, was the truth." He kissed her again. "You make me so happy." He put his hand over her heart. "This belongs to me." Her chin trembled. He put her hand over his heart. "And, this belongs to you. It belongs to only you, Sammy. My heart is yours and your heart is mine."

She tried to move away but he wouldn't let her go. "Sirius, I don't want to hear any more of your lies!" He growled. She started to cry. "Please, let me go. I have to meet Patrick."

Sirius sneered. "You're not leaving me to be with him!" Her eyes widened. "Sammy, you know how I feel about you! I've told you how I felt!"

Sam shook her head. "You love spending time with me! You love that I touch you and let you touch me! You love that I'm so stupid that I fell for your lies and slept with you! You love that I'm the biggest idiot in the world and didn't know you were using me! So, yes, I know how you feel about me!" She pushed him away and walked to the door. "I have to go! Don't come near me again!"

He ran past her and blocked the door to stop her from leaving. "I'm not letting you go!" She glared at him. "I need you to understand something!" She stepped away from him. He sighed when she turned her back on him. "I did lie to get you to fool around and to sleep with me but I never once used you!" She scoffed. He turned her around. "Sammy, I wake up and think about you. I go to sleep and think about you. When I dream, I dream about you." Her eyes widened. He had a pained look on his face. "All I want is to be around you. All I want is to spend time with you." He kissed her slowly. "All I want is you." She bit her lip. "I…I never said it back because I was scared you'd reject me but I'm not scared anymore." She stared at him closely. "I…I love spending time with you." She pushed him away. He pulled her back. "Would you let me finish?" She sighed and nodded. "I do love spending time with you because…" He took a deep breath. "I love you, Sammy." Her eyes widened. "I'm in love with you. I'm completely and totally in love with you and only you, Samantha." She stared at him in shock. He gulped. "Are you going to say anything?"

She blinked. "Did…did you just say you're in love with me?" He let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "How do I believe you? Why should I believe you?"

He licked his lips. "I have been in love with you since the moment we met." She shook her head. "The moment I saw you, I knew I loved you." She blinked. He smiled. "You were wearing a blue sweater and your hair was down to your waist." She blinked. "You were so upset about James leaving. I just wanted to be the one to calm you down. When you looked at me and blushed, I couldn't breathe. The most beautiful and the sweetest girl was blushing because of me…and I loved it. I fell in love with you." He kissed her. "I tried to fight it but I just couldn't. The time we've been spending together…it just made me realize even more how much I love you. I'm crazy about you, Baby. I love you so much."

She was crying into his neck. "Is that the truth?"

He smiled and wiped her eyes. She stared at him closely. He kissed her. "It's the truth. I love you, Sammy." He put her hand back over his heart. "I belong to you and…" He put his hand over her heart and smiled again "You belong to me." They kissed slowly. "You're the one. You're the only one." He caressed her cheek. "I'm in love with you. Do you…are you still in love with me?"

The door opened and Patrick walked in. "Sam?" They broke apart. His eyebrow rose. "What's going on in here?"

He glared at him. "We're having a private conversation! Get out!"

Patrick sneered. "I'm just here to get my girlfriend." He growled. "Sam, come on." She didn't move. His eyes narrowed. "Samantha, let's go!" She jumped. "You either come with me now or don't bother coming at all!"

Sam sighed before going to him. "I'm coming." Sirius stared at her in disbelief. She stared at him. "I have to go." She mumbled.

Sirius watched her go to the door. "Sammy?" Her chin trembled as she stared at him. "You didn't answer my question." She stared at the ground. "Do you?"

She took a deep breathe. She fought back her tears. "I…I have to go." His face fell. "We can talk later after I get back."

He glared at her. "You just gave me your answer!" A tear slipped down her cheek. "Just go with that git! I don't care anymore!"

He smiled. "That's great!" He kissed her. Sirius growled. "Let's go, Baby."

He sat down in the chair with a sigh after they left. His chin trembled. "I can't believe she just left." He muttered. "I can't believe she just left with him."

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Sirius wandered around the castle for an hour before he went back to the common room. He stopped short when he saw her curled up on the window seat. He gulped. She was crying. He walked over to her. "Sammy?" She turned her head and stared at him. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. He sneered. "Did you have a fight with your precious boyfriend?" She nodded as she cried. He blinked. He sat down next to her. "Why are you crying?"

Sam's chin trembled as she wiped her eyes. "I…" She shook her head and started to cry again. He blinked. He didn't know why she was crying but he did know that he didn't like it. He put his arms around her slowly. She rested her head on his shoulder. "We were fighting since the moment I left you." He nodded slowly. "We were fighting because of how close I was with you when he walked in and because…I told him that I wasn't sure if we should sleep together." He held in a smile. She bit her lip. "He got upset and said I promised. He had been patient with me not letting him do anything but kiss because we would have sex soon enough." He tightened his hold on her. "He kept begging me to…do what I do to you." He looked at her oddly. She whispered in his ear. His eyes widened. She started to cry again. "I did it but I couldn't do it for long." She stared at him. "He…it wasn't like the way it was with you. He didn't make the same noises you do and he didn't touch me the way you do." He took a deep breath. "When I stopped, he got mad at me. He kept yelling at me and he called me a baby." His eyes narrowed. "I left him and brushed my teeth for a good twenty minutes before I came down here." He had to control his breathing. He wanted to kill Patrick. She looked so upset and all he wanted to do was comfort her. "Sirius, I…I'm so sorry. I didn't want to but he wouldn't stop begging me and…"

He shushed her. "It's ok, Baby. I know." She curled up on his lap and he rocked her as she cried. "I'm…I'm sorry he made you do that." He whispered. She held onto him tightly. "Sammy?" He kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him. "Why did you leave me to be with him?"

She sighed. "If I didn't go with him then he would have gotten upset and the last thing I needed was him yelling at me."

He eyed her closely. "Sammy, does he get upset with you a lot? Does he yell at you a lot?" She nodded and shrugged. He took a deep breath. "Does he ever hurt you?" She looked at him in confusion. He sighed. "Has he ever hit you?" She shook her head. "Does he yell at you and put you down or does he just yell?"

She bit her lip. "He puts me down and yells." He growled. "Sirius, it's ok. He doesn't mean it." He gave her a look. She slid her hand into his. "I'm sorry I left you, Sirius."

He caressed her cheek. "Did you want to leave me?" She shook her head aggressively. He smiled. "What was your answer to my question? Are you still in love with me?"

She blushed. "Yes, I am."

His smile grew. "Do you believe that I never used you and that I love you?" She smiled and nodded. He held her tightly. They snuggled into each other. "I love spending time with you." She gave him a look. He laughed lightly. "And, I'm in love with you." They kissed. "I love you, Sammy."

She nuzzled his neck with her nose. "I love you too, Sirius." They held each other in silence. "I'm only happy with you, Sirius." He smiled. "I just want to be with you."

He kissed her temple. "I just want to be with you too."

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Lily stared at them with a smile. Sirius and Sam were standing off in the corner by themselves and didn't seem to notice anyone but each other. Their foreheads were rested against each other's and their hands were on each other's hips. They were talking to each other in soft voices and kept smiling at each other. Her smile grew. She was happy that they were back on track. They seemed so happy together and so in love. She sighed in content. She hoped one day she would find a love like theirs. She wanted to find her soul mate just like they found theirs. "That would be nice." She muttered.

James came down the stairs and she held in a groan. His eyes widened when he saw them. "What the hell is that?" He watched as Sirius kissed his sister's forehead and gazed into her eyes like she was the only girl in the entire world. His eyebrow rose when Sam kissed his chin. "What is going on with them?"

She stopped him from interrupting them. "Potter, leave them alone." He looked at her oddly. "They had a fight and they are making up." He blinked. She smiled when she saw Sam walk over to the window and Sirius hugged her from behind. "They need some time alone."

His head cocked to the side. "What did they fight about?" She shook her head. He stared at them in surprise. "Why is he hugging her like that?"

Sirius tightened his hold on her. "I like being this close to you." She blushed. He gave her neck a brief kiss. "I like when it is just us."

Sam sighed in content. "I do too but the room is full of people." His eyebrows furrowed together. "I didn't notice them either." He smiled. She kissed his cheek. "Can I spend the night with you?" His eyes widened. She blushed. "I just meant…could I sleep with you tonight? Could we just sleep?"

He kissed her. "I'd love that." She smiled. "I love you, Sammy."

She kissed him. "I love you too, Sirius."

He choked. "Evans, am I seeing things?" She rolled her eyes. "Did they just say they loved each other and kiss?" She gulped. He stared at her. "What's going on?"

She sighed. "They had a disagreement about her dating Patrick and they are making up." He eyed her closely. "You know they are good friends and love each other…as friends. They are always like this."

He nodded slowly. "I guess so."

Sirius led Sam to the staircase. "Let's go to bed." She hugged him. He kissed her forehead. "I love you."

Sam blushed. "I love you too."

James felt like he was going to pass out. "What the hell…?" He grabbed Sirius' arm. "What is going on?"

He smiled. "Prongs, where did you come from? I didn't see you!" His eyes narrowed. He blinked. "Sammy and I are just going to bed." He growled. He let out a nervous laugh. "She had a fight with the git and came to me. I said she could stay with me. I'm just comforting her." He nodded slowly. "The git has a temper. He yells at her, puts her down, and forced her to do something she didn't want to do." James sneered. "Don't worry. We can work on hexing him tomorrow. She needs me now."

Lily smiled. "That's very sweet of you, Sirius." He shrugged. "Have you had any luck convincing her to dump him?"

He winked at her. "I'm working on it, Evans."

She laughed and winked at him. "Good luck with that, Black."

She came down the stairs. "Sirius, are you coming?"

He beamed at her. "I'm coming, Baby." He glanced at them. "Goodnight!" He ran up the stairs with her. "Let's go, Baby!"

He shook his head slowly. "What the hell?" Lily held in a laugh. "There is something going on between them. I just know it."

She smiled. "Is that so bad?"

He thought about it. "No, it isn't but he knows to talk to me first." She nodded. "I'd love it if she was with him instead of that git. I know he would take care of her."

Her smile grew. "You have no idea." He looked confused.

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Sirius leaned against the wall in the Great Hall and smirked at Patricia Dumont. She was his latest girlfriend but it wouldn't be for long. Monica Winston was after him and he thought he should be nice and give her what she wanted. He took his time with Patricia when he broke up with her. She was a good sport about the whole thing. He smiled at Monica when she took Patricia's place by his side. He liked her. He really did but for some reason, he wasn't completely comfortable around her. She was smart and beautiful but she was lacking something and he didn't know what it was. He couldn't put his finger on it. He played with her hair and whispered in her ear. She giggled. His eyebrows furrowed together. Her laugh was fine. It wasn't annoying but it wasn't the same. Monica blushed. Her was blush was fine. It wasn't annoying but it wasn't the same. He sighed when she kissed him. That also lacked something but he still didn't know what that something was.

All of a sudden, she appeared through the door and glanced around the room. Everything, in his perception, slowed down when he saw her. The blood left his head when her eyes settled on him. Monica was cuddling against him and he had an urge to push her away. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea. He may date the other girls but he only wanted her. He was so…actually, he didn't know what he was but he did know he liked it a lot. She gave him a warm smile and his insides grew hot. She winked at him. He let out a tiny laugh. She was walking away. She was walking towards _him_. She was walking towards her git of a boyfriend instead of coming to him. He held in a growl. He honestly didn't understand what she saw in him. He was an idiotic git that didn't deserve to lick the crap off of her shoes. At least, that was his _unbiased_ opinion.

He watched her as she walked to him. He smirked at her reaction to the git. She seemed happy to see him but he knew she was always happier to see him instead. She was happier to see him, kiss him, touch him, and love him more than the git. She would always want and love him more than the git. She chose to come to him and experience everything first with him and not the git. She came to him at night to learn and to be with him. She chose to be with him. She wanted him to be her first everything. She wanted him. She wanted him to touch, kiss, and caress her. He made her experience things she never felt before. She came back to him night after night because she wanted to feel him touch, kiss, and caress her. She craved his touch. She never felt that for the git. The git could never make her feel anything close to the way he made her feel.

He held in a sneer when the git kissed her. She was his. Didn't the git understand that she belonged to him? Didn't the git understand that she only really wanted him and just put up with his stupid git self? Didn't the git understand that she was in love with him? He sighed in defeat when they hugged. He wanted to be the one to hug and kiss her in front of everyone. He wanted them all to know that she belonged to him and nothing could tear them apart. He wanted them all to know that she was the one to make him happy. She was the only one to do that.

He couldn't wait until they were alone again. He didn't have all that long to wait but it felt like forever before he could touch, kiss and caress her. He spent hours thinking about her and the nights, he spent dreaming about her. She was affecting him and he didn't seem to notice or, maybe, he just didn't care. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair. He wanted her beneath him. He wanted to hear her moaning in his ear. He wanted all of her. He wanted everyone to know that she was his. He wanted all of that but he couldn't have it. He could only have parts of her and even then, it wouldn't last long. Their time together was temporary and he hated that. He didn't want their time to end. He was having fun with her. He was tripping, stumbling, stuttering, and falling deeply in love with her. He smiled when she tore her attention away from the git to smile at him. He had to be next to her. He had to be near her now. He couldn't wait. He couldn't wait hours upon hours until they were alone together. He couldn't wait to feel her against him. He couldn't wait until she was with him and they could pretend that the world didn't exist.

When they were alone, nothing else existed. There were no overprotective older brothers. There were no nosy best friends. There were no git boyfriends. There was nothing. It was just him and her together. They would kiss, touch, caress, and be with each other. They would sit or lie down for hours and talk together. They could sit or lie down for hours in silence if they wanted and it didn't matter because they were together. Nothing else mattered. Nothing ever mattered when they were alone together. They could just exist together. They could just be together and nothing else mattered.

He sighed in defeat when she looked away. He wanted her eyes on him. He wanted her to look at him like she does when they are alone at night. He wanted her eyes on him forever. She was letting the git touch her. She was letting the git feel her eyes on him. The look she was giving the git didn't belong to him. It was her special stare for Sirius and only Sirius. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take it. He couldn't let that git take away something special that belonged to only them. He wouldn't let him take it away from them. He had to stop it before it was too late. He had to go to her. He had to be near her. He had to throw it in the git's face that she always wanted him. She would always want to be kissed, touched, and caressed by him, not his stupid git self!

Sirius held in a groan when Monica tried being cute and giggled in his ear. In his opinion, only one girl could do that and it was definitely not Monica Winston. He whispered in her ear until she nodded and left. He smirked as he strutted over to the git and to his girl. He smiled. She was his girl and he would do anything to shove that fact in the git's face as much as he possibly could.

Patrick smirked as his arm wrapped around her loosely. He noticed Sirius watching them…watching her. He knew Sirius couldn't stand the fact that they were together. He enjoyed it when he turned blue in the face whenever he saw them together. He kept smirking as he made his way over to them. He would have fun touching and kissing her in front of him. He would have fun grabbing her to make him jealous. He just hoped that she would go along with it. She had an annoying habit of not wanting to upset or bother anyone…especially Sirius. He had to help her break out of that habit. He really did.

He kept smirking as Sirius walked over to them. His face showed his rage over them touching…or he touching her and Patrick loved it. He was sick of him always trying to hog her attention and whenever he could upset him, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it probably more than he should. He leaned in and kissed her while he watched his face. Sirius was turning purple. "We have a visitor." He whispered in her ear. She looked at him in confusion. "Your body guard is coming over." She gave him a look. He smiled. "Sirius acts like your body guard." She sighed. "Actually, he is more like an attack dog…especially when guys are around you." She shifted uncomfortably. He eyed her closely. "Why is he like that? Why is he like that about only you?" She shrugged. "He dates half the school but he is only jealous and protective when it comes to you. Why is that?"

Sam let out a nervous laugh. "I have no idea why." His eyebrow rose. She shrugged. "I'm James' little sister. He loves James like a brother and it makes him love me." His eyes widened. She gulped. "He loves me like a sister." He nodded slowly. She hugged him. "Try not to upset him. You know how protective he is and I don't want the two of you to fight."

He groaned. "I'll be good." She smiled. "I love you." She gave him a weak smile. "Do you love me?" She nodded slowly. "Tell me you love me."

She hugged him. She stared at Sirius and smiled. "I love you." Sirius smiled at her. "I love you so much." His smile grew as he got closer. "I love only you."

He pulled away and kissed her. "I like hearing that." She tore her eyes away from Sirius and sighed when she looked at him. He kissed her again and sighed when she pulled away. "What do you want, Black?"

He laughed. "I want a lot of things, Lewis." He smiled at her. She winked at him. Patrick looked at them oddly. "I really want you to disappear." She let out a tiny laugh. Patrick glared at her. She gave him the finger and rolled her eyes. Sirius smirked. "Are you being brave _and_ daring today, Samantha?"

She laughed. "You know me, Sirius. I _love_ to be brave and daring." He smirked again. "_With you_." She mouthed. He winked at her. She groaned when Patrick pulled on her arm. "What the hell are you doing?"

He sneered. "What is wrong with you? Why are you being so difficult?"

He pulled her to him and hugged her from behind. She bit her lip when he massaged her hips and kissed her cheek. "Maybe she is sick of your crap?" He nibbled on her ear and winked at Patrick. Sam pressed into him. He laughed. "You're…excited." She giggled. He maneuvered his hand under her skirt without the git knowing. She smiled at him. "I miss you." He whispered. Her smile grew. "I love you." She bit her lip. "I want you." She snuggled into him. "I saw you telling me that you love me so much and only me." She smiled at him. He kissed her forehead. "We're going to be together tonight, right?" She nodded eagerly. "I can't wait." He kissed her. Patrick growled and pulled her away before kissing her. Sam rolled her eyes. "Excuse me! We were in the middle of something!"

He glared at him. "Yes, I know! You were in the middle of groping my girlfriend!"

He laughed. "I don't _grope_!" Sam snorted. "You look beautiful today, Baby." He whispered. She blushed. "I loved waking up next to you this morning." Her blush grew. "I can't wait to spend the day with you. Are you still coming to my Quidditch practice?" She nodded. His hand moved and rubbed her bum before he pinched it. She jumped. He let out a tiny laugh. "You feel good against me." She smiled. "I love you. Do you love me?" She nodded eagerly. He smiled. Patrick eyed them closely. "I want you. I want to kiss you in front of everyone." She giggled. He moaned. "Baby, that wasn't fair." She smirked. "You're evil." He laughed. "And, I love you for it." He held her tightly. "I can't wait until we're alone."

He grabbed her arm. She pouted. She didn't want to be away from Sirius. He put his arm around her waist. "Do you mind not touching _my_ girlfriend?" Sirius rolled his eyes. He kissed her slowly and smirked when Sirius growled. "I doubt she wants you all over her like that."

He howled with laughter. "You can't honestly believe that!" He scowled. He winked at her. "I think she wants you to leave her alone and she wants me all over her as much as possible!"

They stared at her. She looked around the room to avoid their stares. She smiled in triumph when she spotted Lily. "I've got to talk to Lily! I'll be right back! Play nice!"

They watched her walk over to Lily. Patrick pushed him. "What the hell is your problem?" Sirius' eyebrow rose. "She is my girlfriend! Why were you all over her?"

He laughed. "She liked it!"

Patrick's eyes narrowed. "No, she didn't!" He rolled his eyes. He smirked. "She likes when I touch her. If only you saw what happened between us last night, you'd turn purple again."

Sirius rubbed his chin and glared at him. "All I know is that she came crying to me after you forced her to do that. Do you normally have to force girls to do anything with you?" Patrick sneered. He got in his face. "I don't know what she sees in you but I'll make sure she breaks up with you soon." Patrick rolled his eyes. "And, if I hear that you forced her to do anything else she doesn't want to do, I'll make you pay!"

He smirked. "She doesn't do anything she doesn't want." His eyes narrowed. "She wants me and that pisses you off. She kisses me and that drives you crazy. She is my girlfriend and you can't stand it." Sirius had an amused look on his face. "She doesn't want you anymore. She wants me and only me. She loves me, not you."

He laughed lightly. "Is that a fact?" He nodded. "Well, that's funny. She seems to love it when I touch her, kiss her, and caress her." Patrick was breathing heavily. He smirked. "She loves me, Lewis. She will always love me. You will never be able to make her stop." He leaned in close. "She was in my bed last night." His eyes widened. "She wanted me to comfort her and believe me, I did."

He glared at him. "That's bullshit! She would never sleep with you!" He laughed and shrugged. "She hasn't done anything more than kiss! James would kill you if you touched her!"

He had a twinkle in his eye. "You have a dirty mind, Lewis! Who said we had sex?" He growled. "And, James was there! He was fine with it!"

He pushed him. "I'm going to kill you!"

He laughed. "I'd like to see you try!"

Sam walked over to them. "How is it going?" Patrick glared at Sirius. Sirius smiled at her. "Are you ready to go, Sirius?" He nodded and smirked at him. Patrick gave her a look. She looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Patrick growled. "Where are you going with him?" She sighed. "Answer me, Samantha!"

Sirius sneered. "Don't talk to her like that ever again or I'll make you pay, Lewis!"

She sighed again. "Lily and I are going to his Quidditch practice." She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later, Patrick." Lily walked over to them and glared at Patrick. He took a deep breath. "Come on, Sirius! James will lose it if we're late!"

He winked at Patrick. "I'm coming, Baby!"

He growled when they were gone. "I'm going to kill him!"

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Lily and Sam sat in the stands while they watched the team practice. Sirius looked at them and waved. Sam smiled and waved. He winked at her and she blushed. "I see things are going well between the two of you." Sam nodded eagerly. They laughed when James yelled at Sirius for not paying attention. "Sam, can I ask you something?" She nodded. Lily took a deep breath. "The two of you had sex…" She nodded slowly. "Have you only done it once?" She shrugged. "How many times have you done it?"

Sam shrugged. "We had sex once but…well; we did it three times the first night. It only counts as once though." Lily choked. "Why are you asking?"

She blushed. "I was just wondering." Sam stared at her. "I've wanted to ask you this." She motioned her to continue. "How…how was it?" She laughed in surprise. Her blush grew. "Forget I asked anything."

She shook her head. "No, it's ok. I'll answer." Lily smiled. "Well, it did hurt…a lot." She gulped. "But Sirius was so…gentle. He took his time and stopped without me having to ask." She smiled. "Lily, it was…the best!" They giggled. "It was sweet, gentle, passionate, and so much fun!" She nodded eagerly. She blushed. "We're doing it again tonight!"

Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?" She nodded. "How many times will you do it?"

She laughed and shrugged. "I don't know but I can't wait to do it!" They laughed. "Lily, I've never felt this way before! I'm so in love with him and I can't wait to be with him again!"

She nodded. "I don't blame you. Is he any good?" Her eyes widened as she nodded eagerly. She laughed. "That's great!" They laughed again. "What about Patrick?" She sighed. "Are you still with him?" She nodded. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I honestly don't know." She nodded. "Practice is over! I'm going to meet Sirius! I'll see you later!"

She laughed. "She's got it bad!"

Sirius beamed at her when she ran over to him. He laughed when she jumped into his arms. "Did you enjoy the show?" She laughed and nodded. "What were you two talking about?" She blushed. He laughed. "Oh, I see. You were talking about sex." She winked at him. He made sure no one was around and kissed her. "I've wanted to do that all day." She pressed into him. He pulled her closer. "I want you so much." She kissed him. He grabbed her hand. "Follow me." They ran towards the stands and hid behind one of the banners. He kissed her eagerly. They laid down in the grass as they kissed. He opened his pants before he unbuttoned her shirt. "Sammy, can we do it now?" She pulled him to her. He smiled as he took off her underwear. He entered her slowly. She gasped. "Are you ok, Baby?"

Sam nodded. "I'm fine." They kissed. He moved against her as slow as possible. She whimpered. "I've missed this."

He smiled into her neck. "I've missed this too, Sammy." She pulled off his shirt and her nails dug into his back. He bit her neck as he moved faster. "I love you, Sammy."

She was breathing heavily. "I love you too, Sirius. I love you so much."

They rolled around on the grass as they continued. They were laughing. They were covered in mud but they didn't care. They were just happy to be alone together. He grunted in her ear as he finished. He collapsed on top of her. He was breathing heavily in her ear. He kissed her. "I love you, Sammy." She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "I really love you."

She kissed him. "I love you too." He rested his head on her bare chest. They were silent for a while as they enjoyed being together. She shifted. "We should go inside."

He pouted. "We should?" She nodded. "Don't you want to do it again?" She laughed. He kissed her slowly. "Can we do it again, please?"

She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "Yes, we can." He kissed her. "But we are covered in mud." He nodded slowly. "We should get cleaned up."

He smirked. "We could take a shower…together." She laughed. "I know the password to the prefect's bathroom. No one will be in there now. Does that sound good?" She nodded. They kissed as they got dressed and snuck into the castle. They looked around and slipped into the bathroom. Sirius turned on the shower and they took off their clothes. They scrubbed off the dirt before he pushed her up against the wall. "Can we do it now that we are clean?" She nodded eagerly. He kissed her and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him. He sucked on her neck as they began. He held onto her tightly as he moved as fast as possible. Her eyes closed shut as she moaned. Tingles ran up and down her body as she kept moaning. "I love when you do that, Baby. I love hearing you moan for me." She gripped his shoulders tightly. They went to the floor. He kissed her eagerly. Her back arched. She never felt anything like this before in her life. He held her down as he increased his pace. He was moaning loudly. She thought someone might hear them but at the moment, she didn't care. She wanted to keep going. She wanted more of him. She wanted more. She was on top of him and her body rose. He watched her as she threw her head back. He smiled. She was feeling this way because of him and he was feeling this way because of her. He gripped her hips. She put her hands on his chest. They collapsed against each other. He smirked. "That was even better than the last time!" She laughed. He held her tightly. They kissed. "Did you have fun?"

She blushed. "Yes, I really did." He smiled. She kissed him. "I love you, Sirius."

He curled his body against hers. "I love you too, Sammy." His finger traced her spine. She shivered. "Did you…um…?" She giggled and nodded. His eyes widened. "You did?" She nodded. "That's fantastic!" She laughed. They snuggled into each other. "Sammy?" She looked at him. "I don't want this to end." She smiled. He kissed her. "I just mean…I want us to be together." Her eyes widened. "Do you want that?" She nodded. "So, will you be my girlfriend?"

She blinked. "Do you mean that?" He nodded. "Are you sure?"

He laughed. "Yes, I'm sure." She kissed him eagerly. He smiled. "Will you break up with that prat and be with me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I will!" She jumped on top of him and started kissing him. "Yes!"

His eyes widened. "You will?" She nodded. "We won't fight about it?"

She smiled. "There will be no fighting." He beamed at her. "Do you want me to be your girlfriend for real?"

He smiled. "Yes, I do. I want everyone to know we belong to each other." She beamed. "I love you, Sammy. All I want is for us to be together." They kissed. "All I want is you."

She smiled. "All I want is you too." He caressed her cheek. "I'll break up with him tonight." He cheered. They kissed. "I can't wait!" They kissed again before they began.

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Sirius skipped down the hall. He made love to Sam a few more times before they went their separate ways. She went off to meet the git so she could break up with him. They would be together for real in a matter of time and he couldn't be happier. He was going to be with her. She was his and he was hers. He had the biggest smile on his face. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. He stopped short when he saw Patrick leading a blindfolded Sam into the Room of Requirement after he kissed her. His face fell. He couldn't believe she was going to their special room with _him_. He couldn't believe she was going to sleep with that git when she was supposed to be breaking up with him so they could be together. His blood boiled as his chin trembled. He lost her. He lost the girl he loved to that git. He couldn't breath. Monica walked up to him and smiled. She kissed him. He wanted to forget the pain he was feeling. He wanted to forget all about Sam and the time they spent together. He wanted to forget her. She lied to him and he couldn't take it. She didn't love him after all. She whispered in his ear and he sighed. "You want us to…?" She nodded eagerly. He nodded. "Let's go." He led her to the astronomy tower so he could forget about Sam and be Monica's first.

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Sam beamed at him when she saw him walk down from the astronomy tower. She hugged him tightly. "Baby, I missed you!" He pushed her away and glared. She looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?" He sneered. She smiled. "Are you mad I took so long?" His eyebrow rose. "I'm sorry but Patrick was so upset when I broke up with him."

Sirius' eyes widened. "You broke up with him?" She rolled her eyes and laughed as she nodded. "Did you sleep with him?" She looked at him oddly. "I…I saw you go to the Room of Requirement with him. Did you sleep with him?"

She shuddered. "The git brought me there so we could have sex but I told him no. I broke up with him. He didn't understand why so I just said that I didn't think we belonged together." She kissed him. He gulped. "Now, we can be together like we wanted to! Isn't that great?"

He nodded. "That is great, Sammy."

She smiled. "Are you ok? You seem off." She noticed his clothes were wrinkled. Her eyebrow furrowed together. "What's wrong with your clothes?"

He opened his mouth but Monica interrupted them. She smiled. "Hi Sam!" Sam smiled. She kissed him. "Thank you for tonight, Sirius. I never knew my first time would be so special."

He gave her a weak smile when Sam's face fell. "Anytime." He muttered. She walked away. He gulped. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

She blinked. "What…what was that?"

He took a deep breath. "Sammy, I can explain." Her chin trembled. "I saw you with Patrick going into our room and I thought…" He had tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. It just happened."

She pushed him away when he tried to touch her. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me ever again!" His chin trembled. She started to cry. "How could you? Why would you do that when we were supposed to be together?" She slapped him when he tried to talk. "I thought you loved me! I…I thought you wanted to be with me!"

A tear slipped down his cheek. "I do! I want to be with you! I want us to be together!" She shook her head. He put his arms around her neck and held her tightly as she cried. "I love you, Sammy! I love you so much!" He kissed her. "I can fix this! I can make it better and we can be together! I can make it better!"

She shook her head. "No, you can't! You can't make it better and we can't be together!"

He couldn't breath. "Baby, I made a mistake! Please, forgive me!" She tried to push him away. He wouldn't let her go. He put his hand over her heart. "This belongs to me." He put her hand over his heart. "And, this belongs to you."

She let her hand drop. "You don't have my heart anymore." She pushed him away. "And, I don't want yours anymore either."

He started to cry. "Please…Sammy, I'm sorry!" She ran off. "Forgive me!" He was left alone in the hall. He cried harder. "What the fuck did I do?" He staggered back to the common room. He saw Lily staring at him. "Did…did she come back here?" He mumbled. She nodded. She stopped looking at him. "Did…did she tell you?" She nodded again. "Where is she?"

Lily looked at the ground. "She's in her room." She muttered. "She said she needed some time alone before we talked." His chin trembled. She took a deep breath before looking at him. "Why?" He didn't answer. "Sirius, why did you do it? You were going to be together. Why did you sleep with Monica when you were moments away from being with her?" He sniffed. "Did…do you love her? Did you mean it when you told me you loved her?" He nodded. "Then why did you do it?"

He wiped his eyes. "I…I saw her going into the Room of Requirement with the git and I thought…" He had trouble controlling his breathing. "I made a mistake…and she just ran off. She…she wouldn't listen. She wouldn't let me explain."

She sighed. "She's…" He stared at her with tears in his eyes. "She was crying. She doesn't want you near her. That's all I know."

He sputtered. "I…I don't want to lose her." She blinked. "I made a mistake. I didn't know. I wasn't thinking." She nodded. "Can you…?" She sighed. "Can you tell her something for me?" She stared at him. "Can you tell her I'm sorry and that I love her?"

She nodded. "I'll tell her."

He gave her a weak smile. "Thank you." Tears slipped down his cheek. "I have to go." He ran up the stairs. He walked into his room and sat on his bed. James stared at him. Remus sighed. He had a feeling something went horribly wrong with Sirius and Sam. He stared at the ground and he let out a few tears. He looked at Remus. "I screwed it up."

Remus sighed. "What happened?" He shook his head. "How bad did you screw it up, Padfoot? Can we fix it?" He shook his head. "How bad is it?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "It's real bad, Moony." He gulped down his tears. "It's real bad."

James looked at them in confusion. "What's going on?" They shared a look. Sirius looked at Remus with pleading eyes. Remus shrugged slowly. He gave him a look. He shook his head and shrugged again. James growled. "What the hell is going on?" Sirius cried. His eyes widened. He stared at him closely as he walked over to his best friend's bed and sat down next to him. "Padfoot, are you…crying?" Remus rolled his eyes and threw his pillow at him. He gave him the finger. "I was surprised, ok?" He nodded and sat down on the other side of Sirius. "Mate, what's going on? What did you screw up? Why are you crying?" He rubbed his eyes. "And, why does Moony know what's going on with you but I don't?" He stared at his best friend as he cried. "Come on, Padfoot. Tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help."

Sirius let out a shaky breath. He glanced at Remus before looking at James. "I…um…I'm in love with someone." He smiled in surprise. "I'm in love with…your…" He eyed him closely. Sirius coughed and cleared his throat. "I'm in love with Sammy." He choked. He gave him a small smile. "I'm in love with your sister. I love Sammy."

He blinked. "What…how…when…why…where…?"

He shook his head. "The details don't matter."

He looked at him incredulously. "The details don't matter?" He nodded. "You tell me…of course the details matter, Padfoot! You're in love with my little sister! I think I deserve the truth! No, I know I deserve the truth!" Sirius and Remus shared a gulp. "Does she love you too?" He shrugged and nodded. His head cocked to the side. "What does that mean? Was that a yes or a no? Is she in love with you too?"

He sighed. "That's difficult to answer." His eyebrow rose. "She…I know for a fact that she was still in love with me this afternoon. Tonight, I'm not so sure."

He stared at him closely. "What happened? The two of you worked through your fight. What happened to change all of that?"

He gave him a look. "Moony, can I, please, ask the questions? You've known about this. I'm just hearing about it." Remus nodded and shrugged. He rubbed his eyes. "I need…how…?" Sirius sighed. "You need to start from the beginning."

He let out a nervous laugh. "Are you sure about that?" He gave him a look. "Do you really-?"

James rolled his eyes. "I want to know everything! I want every detail, ok?" He blinked. "Yes, I'm really sure I want to know. Start talking now, Padfoot!"

Sirius sighed. "Ok, you asked for it." He mumbled. He looked confused. Sirius told him absolutely everything just like he wanted. James paled and blushed as he listened but he never said a thing. He kept quiet while Sirius spoke. Remus blushed at certain parts as well. He stuttered over what happened that night. He sighed when he was finished. James wasn't looking at him while Remus stared at him with wide eyes. He cleared his throat. "That's…um…that's everything." They nodded dumbly. "I made a mistake and I don't know if she still loves me." He licked his lips. "But I know I love her."

He sighed. "Why did you sleep with Monica?"

He shrugged. "It's like I said, Moony. I thought she was going to sleep with the git."

He sighed again. "You really screwed up, Padfoot."

He nodded. "You're telling me!" He gave him a look. "Believe me, I know I screwed up, Moony. I know." He looked at him. "Prongs, you haven't said anything." James looked at him closely. "What…um…what do you think?"

He let out a sarcastic laugh. "What do I think?" He nodded slowly. "Do you really want to know?" He nodded eagerly. He stood up and laughed. "I think it's great! You're in love with her and she loves or loved you too!" They smiled in surprise. "I think it is fucking _brilliant_ that you corrupted my little sister!" They gulped. "You…did _things_ to her and then, you…you took away her…_innocence_!" They jumped when he yelled. He was breathing heavily. "You sat right next to me the day after you slept with my baby sister and you bragged about it! You talked about it like it meant nothing to you when it meant everything to her! You sat next to me and told her you used her! You told her you never loved her! You hurt her!"

He gulped. "I did that so you wouldn't find out about us! I explained it to her! She understood!"

He scoffed. "I just bet she did!" They sighed in defeat. "You corrupted her, stole her virginity, and convinced her to dump that git who treats her like crap!" He shrugged. "That part I'm not mad about actually." Sirius nodded quickly. "You sleep with her again and then, as she was breaking up with the git, you cheated on her before you were even together!" He punched Sirius. He groaned. He punched Remus. He groaned. "That's because you knew about this and didn't tell me!" He went to the door. "I'm going to find Sammy and kill her!" He ran down the stairs and saw Sam with Lily. "Samantha, we need to talk!" She stared at him with red puffy eyes. "You're only thirteen! You're just a little girl! How could you?"

Sam's chin trembled. "What are you talking about?"

James glared at her. "Sirius told me everything!" She paled. Lily groaned. He had a pained look on his face. "You're only thirteen, Sammy! Why would you do that? How could you?"

Lily gave him a look when she held her as she cried. "Potter, leave her alone! She is upset enough!"

He stared at his sister as she cried. He pulled her away from Lily. "Did you love him?" She nodded. "Do you still love him?" She nodded. He held her tightly as she cried. He rubbed her back. "It's going to be ok, Sammy." He whispered. "Everything is going to be ok." Lily watched him comfort her and smiled. She was surprised by how sweet he was being. Sam held onto him tightly. He smiled at her. "Don't be sad anymore, Sammy. He made a mistake. He is really sorry and he does love you." She sneered. He blinked. "Ok, he is a git and deserves to be hexed a lot!" She let out a tiny laugh. "That's the sister I know and love!"

She bit her lip. "Do you hate me?" He shook his head. "Do you hate him?" He shrugged. "Don't hex him, James." His eyebrow rose. "Please, don't hurt him for hurting me. He is still your best friend."

He nodded and hugged her. "I won't hurt him." She gave a weak smile. "I'm not happy that you…did those things with him and lied to me about it but I don't hate you. Once I calm down, I'll apologize to Remus and Sirius for punching them." Her eyes widened. "They deserved it!" She shrugged. He kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about that now. Everything is going to be ok. I'll apologize, we'll be friends again, and you won't be sad." She smiled. "I'll take care of you."

She smiled. "Thank you, James. You're a great big brother!" He smiled. "I love you."

He blushed. "I love you too, Sammy."

Lily smiled as she watched them. "He is…very surprising." She muttered.

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Sirius stood at the edge of the dance floor with Monica hanging on his arm. He wasn't in the mood to be at the Christmas Ball. He just wanted to be alone. He nodded at his friends when they looked at him. He smiled at Lily when she walked past with Remus, her date for the evening. Lily was a surprisingly big help. She would give him daily updates on Sam. She got back with the git and he only got back with her if she promised again that she would sleep with him during the ball. He couldn't believe she got back together with him. She must have been really upset if she did that. He tried talking to her the past week but she would just run away. She would run to the git when she should have stayed with him.

He sighed. He had been a wreck. He would close his eyes at night and see her staring back at him. It had only been a week but he couldn't stand being without her. James didn't speak to him for a few days just so he could calm down but he finally came around. Things were good between them again and he gave him updates on her as well. Remus did the same since he did his homework with her and Lily every night. He appreciated their help but it wasn't enough. He needed her with him.

He pulled Monica off of his arm and went to get a drink. He froze when he saw her. He stood next to her. "Hi." She gulped when she looked at him. He gave her a small smile. "You look beautiful tonight." She blinked. His hand brushed hers before he held it. She didn't move away. She stared at the table. "You always look beautiful to me, Sammy." A tear slipped down her cheek. His chin trembled. "I love you." He whispered. She stared at him. "I'll always love you and wait for you." She shook with held in tears. "You're it for me, Sammy. I've known it since the moment I met you and you've known it too." She bit her lip. "Don't do something you'll regret." She looked at him oddly. "He's going to hurt you. He doesn't love you but I do." She looked away from him. "It doesn't matter what you do with him or anyone, I'll always love you. I'll always love you more than anyone ever will and you'll always love me more than anyone too. We belong together…forever." She gulped. "I love you forever." He glared when the git smirked as he pulled her away. She kept looking back at him. "He doesn't deserve her." He muttered.

Sam sighed as Patrick dragged her out of the Great Hall. She didn't want to go with him. She wanted to go back to Sirius. She missed him. He may have hurt her but she still loved him. She loved him and now, she knew he loved her. James, Lily, and Remus told her how miserable he was without her and how he wanted her back. She got back with the git, that's what she started calling him in her head now, because she thought she deserved him. He never made her feel an ounce of what Sirius did and she thought she was only meant to have a glimpse of that love before settling for something much less. She deserved the crap Patrick gave her that he claimed was love. As he led her into the hall, she realized she didn't deserve this. She deserved to be with the one she loved. She deserved Sirius. She wanted Sirius and only Sirius. They were in the hall and he kept dragging her. This was definitely not what she wanted to do. "Patrick, I can't!"

Patrick stopped short. She stumbled. "What did you say?" She sighed. He glared at her. "You promised me, Samantha! You promised me and you're keeping it!"

She glared at him. "No, I won't! I don't want to!" He sneered. "I don't love you! I can only be with someone I love!"

He scoffed. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She rolled her eyes. He growled. "It figures this would happen! I should have never went out with a stupid third year in the first place! I put up with getting nothing but the occasional kiss for these past couple of months and for what? You changing your mind again? Fuck that!" She pulled away from him. He glared at her. "It was only a bet!" She looked at him oddly. "After we started going out, I made a bet with my friends to sleep with you!" Her eyes narrowed. "I don't love you! I barely like you!" He smirked. "How do you like hearing the truth, you stupid idiot?"

She laughed. "I'm the stupid one?" He nodded. She smirked. "I've been cheating on you for most of our relationship…with Sirius!" His eyes widened. "And, I slept with him while you barely got kissed!" He growled. "I don't love you or like you, git! How do you like hearing the truth, you pathetic loser?" She staggered when he slapped her and called her a slut. She punched him in the eye and kicked him in the balls. He fell to the ground and groaned. "Don't come near me again or I'll hurt you even worse! We're over and I'm going back to Sirius! I'm in love with him! He's a real man! You're just a fucking loser!" She ran back into the Great Hall. "James!" He was leaning against the wall next to Lily and Remus. He looked at her in surprise. She looked at him with excited eyes. "I did it! I broke up with the git for good this time!" They cheered. "And, I want Sirius!"

James blinked. "What happened? Why is your cheek red? What happened?"

Sam laughed. "I love Sirius!" He nodded slowly. She told him what happened with Patrick. He growled. "You can hex him all you want now!" He beamed. "But you have to wait until he recovers!" His eyebrow rose. "I punched him and kicked him in the nuts after he slapped me!" He smiled with pride. "And, you have to wait until after I get Sirius back. He's wanted to hex him for a long time!"

He smiled. "You want him back?" She nodded eagerly. "Are you sure?"

She smiled. "Yes, I am! I love him! I want to be with him!" He smiled. "Can we have your blessing?" He smiled and nodded. She hugged him. "Thank you, Jimmybean!"

He blinked. "You haven't called me that in years!" She smiled and shrugged. He kissed her cheek. "Go get him back." She smiled. "I love you, Sammabelle."

She laughed. "I love you too!"

Lily smiled when she ran off. "That was very sweet of you, Potter." He winked at her and ruffled his hair. She rolled her eyes. "You know how to ruin a moment."

He smirked. "You know you love it." She scoffed. He kissed her quickly. "But not as much as I love you." She blushed. He smiled. "You're alright, Lily."

Her blush grew. "You're not so bad yourself, James." He beamed.

Sam ran over to Sirius. He was staring at the ground. "Hi." He looked at her in surprise. "Did you mean it?" His eyebrows furrowed together. "Do you love me? Did you mean it all the times you said you loved me?" He nodded eagerly. She smiled. "That's good. If you said no, getting you back would have been pointless."

Sirius blinked. "Getting me back?" She nodded. He smiled in surprise. "You want me back?" She laughed and nodded. "What changed your mind?"

She kissed him. "I love you and only you." His smile grew. They hugged tightly. She told him all about what happened with Patrick. He growled. "You can hex him with James and Remus all you want soon enough. We just have to make up first."

He beamed. "I'd love that!" She smiled. "Did you really punch him and kick his nuts?" She nodded. He laughed. "That's my girl!"

They held each other tightly as they kissed. "I love you and only you, Sirius."

He sighed in content. "I love you and only you, Sammy." He looked at an angry Monica. "I'm sorry. We've over. I love her, not you." She slapped him and walked away. He laughed. "That was easy." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you. All I want is you."

She kissed him. "All I want is you too, Sirius." They rested their foreheads against each other's. She put his hand over her heart. "This belongs to you." He put her hand over his heart. She smiled. "And, this belongs to me." They kissed. "If you ever cheat on me, I'll kill you."

He laughed. "I know. I won't cheat on you ever." They kissed. "You're my girlfriend, right?" She nodded. They kissed again. "I've missed you."

She caressed his cheek. "I've missed you too." She kissed him. "I want to be with you forever."

He smiled. "I want to be with you forever too." He looked at the room. "Can I have everyone's attention?" They stared at him. He pointed to Sam. "She is my girlfriend!" They smiled. "If you gits think about flirting with her, my friends and I will hex you!" Boys gulped. Girls giggled. Professors smirked. "If you girls flirt with me, I'll flirt back!" She stomped on his foot. He winced. They laughed. "I'll flirt but that's it! She's the only one I want!" He saw Patrick come back in. "And, he made a bet about her! He put her down and hit her!" Patrick blushed when they glared at him. His eyes narrowed at him. "I'm going to get you for that! We're coming after you!" He gulped when everyone cheered. "That is all! I need to snog my girlfriend now!" They laughed. He kissed her. "Will you dance with me, Sammy?"

She blushed. "I'll always dance with you, Sirius."

They held each other as they swayed. "I love you forever, Sammy."

She smiled. People watched them with doofy smiles. "I love you forever, Sirius." They kissed.


	82. Chapter 80: Aftermath

Author's Note: I'm sorry I've been gone so long. I hope you can forgive me. I know you won't like this chapter but try to enjoy it! Let me know what you think. Good or bad, it doesn't matter. Enjoy!

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Chapter 80: Aftermath.

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Kathleen smiled. "So, what did you think?"

Sam's eyebrow rose. "What did I think?" She nodded. "Well, it was loads of fun knowing how it feels to lose my virginity three times!" She laughed. "It seemed to drag in the beginning and then, it seemed rushed towards the end."

She nodded. "It was taking an eternity to get through it all. I had to fast forward towards the end." She laughed. "I gave you all the important parts. The Patrick and Monica break ups would have taken forever! They are such whiners!" She laughed again and nodded. "So, was it as good for you as it was for me?"

She smirked. "It was even better, Grandma!" She laughed. "Why…I was thirteen when I slept with Remus and the would-be me was thirteen when she slept with would-be Sirius." She nodded slowly. "Why is that? Why thirteen?"

She shrugged. "You were meant to lose it at thirteen. That's just how things worked out." She nodded slowly. "Do you have anymore questions?"

She bit her lip. "Why was it so easy for the would-be us?" She looked at her oddly. "We got together. He was seventeen and I was fifteen turning sixteen." She nodded slowly. "Well, we had nothing but problems. Every time we took a step forward, we were forced to take ten steps back. We never get a break. We always manage to screw things up in some way." She nodded. "The would-be us did have problems but they managed to get past it all and be together. Why was it so easy for them?"

She sighed. "You were with Remus for two years. The two of you had a lot of problems. He cheated on you and then, you started to date Sirius. He was a notorious man whore." She let out a tiny laugh. "You were still hurt by Remus cheating on you. Sirius…he had been in love with you since the moment the two of you met. When you started dating other boys, he got scared to tell you he loved you. He threw himself into his man whoring ways and became scared with each passing day. When he finally told you, he didn't know what to do or how to act. He was used to being a man whore and you were still hurt from how Patrick treated you and your problems with Remus." She nodded slowly. "The would-be Sirius and Sam didn't go through all that. You got together and the two of you weren't shy to open up to each other. You got through the bad times and were still able to be together. The real you and Sirius were just too scared of being hurt and…it turned out the way it did."

She nodded. "I see." She shrugged. "Well, doesn't that just suck?" She smirked. "What happens to the would-be us after the ball? Did would-be Sirius cheat on would-be me?"

She smiled. "No, he didn't." She scoffed. "I swear he didn't!" She shrugged. "The two of you were together for a year. James said that you couldn't sleep together again until after you were married so you waited a month before you started sneaking around behind his back." She laughed. "You started fighting and broke up. You remained friends." Her eyebrow rose. "Well, he didn't break up with you the way he did…in real time. It was mutual. You realized you needed time apart." She nodded. "He dated around and you took some time off before you and Remus got together. You dated him for a year and a half before Sirius realized he wanted you back. He wasn't pleased when he found out you slept with Remus but you reminded him that he slept with half the school. The two of you were able to be together. You got married, had a kid just a month after you graduated, and then, you died." Sam choked. "Wasn't that fun?"

She blinked. "That was…entertaining." Kathleen smiled. "Were we happy?" She nodded. "I was wondering…" She motioned for her to continue. "What would it be like if I was never born?" Her eyebrow rose. "How different would Sirius' life be if we never met? How different would his life be if I was never born?"

She stared at her closely. "Are you sure you want to know?" She nodded. She sighed. "Ok, let's find out."

Before Sam could blink, they were standing on the grounds of Hogwarts. They stood by the willow tree while they watched her friends. Mary and Remus were side by side while they read and took the occasional break to snog. Lily and James were having one of their love fights. Alice, Frank, Kevin, Patty, and Lilac were by the lake. Sam smiled when she saw Sirius walk over to them. He winked at the passing group of girls and they giggled in response. Sam rolled her eyes. Nothing seemed too different just yet. Sirius laid down in the grass next to James and Lily. He was talking and laughing. Sam's heart swelled. He seemed so at ease. He seemed so carefree. A red haired girl came over to him and they kissed. She was on her way after he smacked her on her bum and gave her a kiss. Sam sat down next to him and watched him as he talked with the others. She giggled when he laughed. Kathleen sat next to her and smiled. He leaned on his elbows and looked at his friends. "Did you guys ever feel like something was missing?" Sam's eyes widened. They stared at him. He smirked as he slipped a bottle of fire whiskey out of his pocket. "I knew we were missing something." They laughed. "We need this to help before exams!"

She sighed. He was having fun. He was still carefree and happy. They were back in the room. "That was…unexpected."

She eyed her closely. "What is it?"

She looked at her. "He was so happy and carefree. He was so at ease."

She nodded slowly. "I guess he was." She shrugged. "What are you thinking, sweetie?"

She took a deep breath. "I think I know what to do now."

Her head cocked to the side. "What is that? What have you decided?"

She gave her a small smile. "I've decided to do what's best. It's the right choice."

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Sirius sat next to his friends as he ate his breakfast. He smiled at Sam when she walked in and sat next to Lilac. She gave him a sad smile. His eyebrows furrowed together. She sighed. He winked at her and wiggled his eyebrows. She smiled. He laughed. He turned to James when he tapped him on his shoulder. Owls swooped in to deliver the post and he was surprised when a letter was dropped in front of him. He opened the letter and he smiled. He glanced at her before reading the letter. "What's this?" He muttered.

"_Sirius,_

_I thought you'd want to know that tonight I'll be getting my voice back. You said you wanted to be the first one I spoke with so meet me on top of the astronomy tower at midnight. I hope to see you there._

_Sam._"

He beamed as he looked at her. "I'll be there!" She nodded. He looked at his friends and laughed. "I have a feeling it is going to be a great day!"

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Sirius closed the door behind him and walked over to her. She had her back to him as she leaned against the wall and watched the night sky. The wind blew through her hair and tickled the back of her neck. He smiled. He could image how the wind would blow through her hair if it was long like it used to be. He stood behind her. "Sammy?" She turned around and stared at him. He smiled. "Are you…can you talk now?" She nodded. He beamed. "Ok, let me have it!" She started talking rapidly. His eyebrow rose. She was not making a sound but she kept talking. He let out a tiny laugh. "Baby, you still can't talk."

Sam stopped talking. Her eyes narrowed. She kicked the ledge and started to rant. "…I can't believe this! I still can't talk! I did everything right! That's complete bullshit!"

He laughed. "You can talk now!" She gasped in delight. He hugged her tightly. She sighed in content. "I've missed this! I've missed your voice!"

She let out a tiny laugh. "I've missed my voice too." She pulled him back to her when he tried to move away and held him as tight as possible. His eyes widened in surprise. Stray tears fell down her cheeks. "I've missed this too."

He smiled. They held each other in silence for a few moments. He pulled away slightly when he heard her sniffle. He smiled again as he caressed her cheek. "Baby, why are you crying?" She shook her head. He kissed her slowly. Her chin trembled. "Why are you crying?" She tightened her hold on him. He kissed her again. "What's wrong?"

She wiped her eyes and let out a tiny laugh. "It's stupid. It's nothing." His eyebrow rose as he smiled. "I've just really missed talking." He laughed. She giggled. "I know it sounds crazy but it was really frustrating not being able to talk! I had to mime and write everything down! I wasted so much parchment and ink! It's ridiculous! I had to suppress some of the things I wanted to say just so I wouldn't waste any more parchment on a stupid comment!"

He laughed. "I understand."

She smiled. "You really do, don't you?" He looked at her in confusion and nodded slowly. She looked down at the ground and sighed. "You've always understood me in some way, haven't you?" He blinked. "Even if I wasn't making any sense or was acting crazy, you always understood me in some way, didn't you?"

His eyebrow rose. "I…uh…I guess so." She stared at him. "Yes, I have." He smiled. "You understand me too, Sammy. We understood each other before and after you couldn't talk. We've always understood each other. You know that." She nodded and sighed. He picked her up. "But that doesn't matter now. All that matters is you can talk again! I just want to hear your voice and enjoy it!" She laughed when he spun her around. He smiled. "I've really missed hearing your laugh!" She held onto him and took in his scent. He kissed her. She sank into him. He held her face in his hands as their kiss deepened. "I love you, Sammy." He pushed her up against the wall. Her eyes widened. She pushed him away after he started kissing her neck. "What…what's wrong?" She gave him a look. He sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry, Baby. I was just so excited about you getting your voice back and I forgot…"

She nodded. "I know." He sighed. "Did…did you think since I got my voice back that I could get my ability to be touched?" He nodded. She sighed. "Sirius, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I can let you and Lily touch me a little but that's it. If it was anyone else, I'd be turning blue. That's got to count for something, doesn't it?"

He gave her a sad smile. "I guess so." She stared at the ground. "It does, Sammy. You could not be able to come near me at all. That would kill me." She couldn't look at him while her lip was trembling. He had to stop being so sweet. It was killing her and this was going to be hard enough. She wished he would be the jerk he used to be like when he broke up with her. "I'm happy that you are able to let me hug and kiss you on occasion. I'll take whatever I can because…" He held her hands and smiled. "I love you and only you."

Her chin trembled. "Sirius…please…" He smiled in confusion. "That's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me."

He smiled and shrugged. "I mean it. I meant every word of it." A tear slipped down her cheek. "Baby, why do you seem so sad? I thought you'd be happy to get your voice back."

She took a deep breath. "I am. I am happy to speak. I'm happy to have a real conversation without parchment and a quill."

He laughed. "I bet!" His head cocked to the side when she kept crying. "Are you really happy?" She nodded quickly. "Then…why do you seem so sad?"

She turned her back on him and stared at the sky. She hoped that it would give her an answer. She was having second thoughts about her decision but she couldn't let herself flip flop anymore. She knew she was a notorious flip flopper and she didn't want to be like that anymore. She wanted to stick to a decision for once. She thought briefly of all the "great loves" of her life and held in a scoff. Patrick was a git she shouldn't have wasted her time on. Remus…Remus was wonderful. She felt like she could be her nerdy self with him. He understood her passion for reading and that she liked getting good grades. He was patient and kind. He rarely lost his temper. He had an undiscovered passion. She had been able to see glimpses of it but he usually hid it. They connected from their similar loves and interests. They even connected when they made love. She cherished their time together and she was grateful she was able to be with him at the time they were together. He showed her how a loving relationship could be. He taught her how to balance friendship and a relationship. She knew a part of her would always love and cherish him. He was a special part of her heart and her life that she never wanted to lose. She would never willingly give him up as a part of her life. Michael…he was sweet. He was there for her when she needed a friend and when she couldn't turn to Remus and when Lily wasn't around. She shared her secrets with him, like she did with Remus, and she was happy that someone besides herself and her mother knew about her impending death. She loved Michael but she wasn't in love with him. She sighed. She knew she could never be in love with him. Chris was never even an option. They were friends. They only dated because they needed to get over their heart break and because they were bored and had nothing better to do. Severus…she shuddered at the thought of him. He was nothing more than an insane crackpot she foolishly spent time with. She thought he was her friend and did those things with him because she wasn't thinking clearly. She never regretted a decision more than that one. Sirius put his arms around her and hugged her from behind. He rested his chin on her shoulder and smiled as he watched the sky with her. She sighed in content. Sirius was the one. She loved him with her whole heart. It was just like how she loved Remus but it was more. The only men in her love life that counted were Remus and Sirius. She closed her eyes for a brief moment before looking back at the sky. Sirius made her feel like she was constantly on fire. He drove her absolutely mad. He calmed her down. He made her feel everything at once but intensified by a million. He made her angry. He made her happy. He made her sad. He made her feel loved, treasured, beautiful, and wonderful. He understood her in the same ways that Remus did but he also understood her in other ways. When she talked in circles and didn't seem to be making any sense, he found a way to find her logic. When they were alone, they didn't always have to talk. They could just sit in silence and be happy. When she looked into his eyes, she saw everything he wanted her to know and everything he didn't. She felt like she could be herself completely around him and knew he would accept her, craziness and all, wholeheartedly. He was truly her better half. He was more than just her lover, friend, or husband. He was her soul mate through and through. She could just be when she was with him. She could just be but that didn't matter anymore. She made her decision and she had to force herself to stick to it. She would be a flip flopper no more. At least, she hoped she wouldn't be. She was crazy enough. She didn't need to be indecisive too. She had to stick to her decision…unfortunately. "Alan would be so proud." She muttered.

Sirius sighed in content. "It's a beautiful night." She leaned against him and nodded. It was moments like this with him that she loved. Everything was calm and quiet. Everything was pleasant. Everything was perfect but she knew it wouldn't last. He wouldn't understand but he would one day. She did love him. She did but she knew love wasn't everything. There was more to a relationship than love. Their trust was still broken as were their hearts. Some things just weren't meant to last. Some people, as right as they are for each other, weren't always meant to be together forever. He kissed her cheek softly. "But it's not as beautiful as you are to me." She turned her head to look at him. He kissed her. "You're beautiful, Sammy. You're always beautiful to me."

Sam's eyes welded up with tears. "I wish you wouldn't say such sweet things to me like that right now, Sirius. I wish you wouldn't say things like that especially now." He looked confused. She let out quiet tears. "Why do you have to be so sweet and so…wonderful right now?" He blinked. He wiped her eyes and smiled. "Why do I feel like this when I know it's the right decision?"

He laughed in confusion. "Sammy, you aren't making any sense. I can usually figure out what you are trying to say but it is hard now. You need to talk in circles some more before I can find out what you mean."

She stared at him for a moment before looking away. "I…"

He held her hands in his and smiled. "It's ok, Baby. You know you can tell me anything. You can talk in circles and I'll figure it out…eventually like I always do."

She nodded. "I know." He kissed her forehead. She turned her back on him again and leaned against the wall. "This is going to be hard."

He smiled. "It doesn't have to be." She turned around slowly. He licked his lips. "You can still talk to me. I will still listen. That's what we learned in therapy. We are able to be open and honest while the other listens. We talk. We listen. We deal. We got good at it. We can still do it."

She rubbed her eyes. "We've known each other for a while. We've lo…" She groaned. "We've cared about each other since we've met, right?" He nodded. "Well, you've dated half the school and I've dated a few guys. We've both made some mistakes we regret and we've hurt each other but we still manage to find our way back." He smiled and nodded. "Every time we took a step forward, we were forced to take ten steps back. Sometimes…ok, most of the time, it was our own faults. We were scared to open up and lo…care for each other but…" She shook her head and sighed. "That's not how I want to word it exactly." He stared at her as she tried to find the right words for whatever she wanted to say. She looked at him. "I've never felt…I mean I did but…Remus…he was my first…" She groaned. "I can do this!" He hid his smile. "When I talk….sometimes it feels like no one understands me… what I want to say when I ramble like an idiot."

He caressed her cheek. "I understand you always." She blinked. "I always understand you."

She gulped. "I'm beginning to see that." He laughed lightly. "You have hurt me a lot." He held in a groan. He had a feeling this wouldn't be pleasant. "And, I…I know I hurt you too. I never meant to but that's just how things happened." He nodded slowly. "You…I…ugh." He smiled. "We've done a lot of damage to each other. We could have been so happy but we screwed it up royally."

He nodded. "That's true." She sighed. "But we can start over. We can make it better. We can make it work."

She took a deep breath. "No, we can't."

He sighed. "Why don't you think we can?"

She stared at him. "Why do you think we can?"

He shrugged. "I know us. We are stubborn as shit when we want to be and we fight for what we want and for what we believe in. We believe in us. We love each other more than anything in this world. We fight with each other and for each other. It's just how we are. Its how we've always been. We are connected. We are one. We're married. We're soul mates."

She sighed as she looked down at the ground. "You'd be a hell of a lot happier if you never met me." She muttered.

He shook his head and laughed. "That's not true." She shook her head. "You shouldn't think that. It's not true. This…being with you is the happiest I've ever been."

She pushed her hair out of her face. "Sirius, you don't know what you're talking about." He stared at her in confusion. "You would be the happiest person in the world if you never met me. You would be happy if I never existed." He shook his head. "You all would be happier if I'd never been born."

Sirius shook his head. "Sammy, I don't believe that! That's not true! That can't possibly be true! You're wrong! That can't be true at all!"

Sam groaned in frustration. "It is true! I saw it for myself!" His eyes widened. "Forget I said that." He shook his head. "Sirius, I have lo…cared for you since I was a little girl. I know a part of me always will but this…you and me…it just won't work. It doesn't work anymore."

He laughed. "You've got to be joking!"

She bit her lip. "I'm not joking, Sirius." He gulped. "We don't fit anymore. We don't fit like we used to."

He shook his head. "I don't believe that at all. I know we still fit. We still get each other. You need to think and try again because I know that that is a crock of shit."

She had a pained look on her face. "Sirius, we're…we can't keep doing this to us. We're over. We have to be." His face fell. "We'd be happier if we just stopped this now. It has to end."

He couldn't believe his ears. His heart sank when she took off her wedding ring and handed it to him. "No, I don't want that." He put it back on her finger. "I gave this to you. I gave it to you so you have to keep it…forever." He held up his hand and showed her his wedding ring. "You gave this to me and I'm keeping it on my finger forever. That's the deal." She sighed. "That was the deal and we're sticking to it. We're sticking together forever."

She groaned. "You aren't making this easy, Sirius."

He rolled his eyes. "I know! I'm glad I'm not! I don't want this to be easy!" He shook his head. "No, I do want this to be easy! I want us to be together and have an easy life together forever! We belong together and you know it!"

She stepped back and leaned against the wall. They stared at each other. "We can't do this anymore." She muttered. "We just can't." He growled. "We just tear each other apart. We just hurt each other and we will only hurt each other beyond repair in the end. We should stop before it's too late."

He stared at her in disbelief. "What's with you? What happened that made you change?" She looked confused. "You're not yourself. You're being heartless and cold. What happened to change you?"

She licked her lips. "My husband treated me like crap and cheated on me when we were dating. He threw his…mistress and their relationship in my face until I snapped and lost my grip on reality. He also tried to have me killed."

He glared at her. "That was uncalled for, Samantha."

She shrugged. "Those are the facts, Sirius."

He sneered. "Who are you?" Her eyebrow rose. "You're not the girl I fell in love with that day at King's Cross. You're not the girl I married. Where is she? Who are you? Where is my wife?"

She gave him a cold stare. "She died when her husband almost got her killed! She died when she tried to kill-!" Her eyes widened. He paled. "That…that doesn't matter."

He blinked. "Sammy, this isn't like you. Why are you acting like we've never mattered? Why is this so easy for you?"

Her chin trembled. "You think this is easy for me?" He nodded. Tears streamed down her face. "Well, it isn't!" She pushed him. "This isn't easy for me at all! I thought when we got married that we would be together but we're not! I thought that last summer, after you finally told me the truth about how you felt for me, was the beginning of our life together!" He glared at the ground. "But it wasn't! It was the beginning of an endless cycle of shit! It's been an endless cycle of lies, heartache, pain, and misery! Why should we keep going through that? Why shouldn't we just cut our losses and move on with our lives?" She sighed. "We could move on and be friends." She gave him a small smile. "You could find someone else you care for and have a happy life. You don't have to be with me. You could be truly happy without me. I know you can. Why should we keep going on?"

He growled. "We should keep going because I love you!" She sighed. "And, you love me too!" He sighed. "Sammy, do you still love me?"

She glanced at him. "You know I do."

He smiled. "Then we can be together." She shook her head. "Sammy, please, think about this. You love me. I love you. We are married. We are soul mates. We belong together."

She let out a shaky breath. "Why do you want to be with me so bad, Sirius? I'm crazy!" He laughed lightly and nodded. "I mean it! I'm certifiably nutters! I've been in the loony bin twice in a span of two months! I punched a wall, a mirror, and cut my hair off in one of my rages! I'm a nutter! I'll…I'll only get worse as time goes on! Why do you want to put up with that when you can find a sane girl and be happy?"

He caressed her cheek. "I love that you are a nutter, Sammy. You keep things interesting." She had a small smile on her face. "I don't want some boring sane girl. I want you and I always have. That's just the way it is." He kissed her. "I'm happy with you. I could never find another girl who makes me happy the way you do."

She moved away from him. "Yes, you can." He sighed. "I'll keep the wedding ring because I know it will upset you further if I take it off but we are over. We have to be over."

His chin trembled. "We can't be."

She nodded. "We are."

He grabbed her arms. "We aren't over! I don't accept that! You and me…we belong together!" He started to cry. "I'll never let you go, Samantha!"

She gulped when he hugged her tightly. "Sirius, please, let me go." He buried his face in her shoulder. "It's going to be ok." She whispered.

He had tears in his eyes and smiled. "It will be?" She nodded quickly. He kissed her. "I knew you would change your mind." He nipped at her neck. "You always do."

She shook her head. "I haven't changed my mind." He gulped. "I'm going to finally stick to a decision. We're over."

He sighed. "Couldn't you stick to a different decision? Couldn't you stick to the decision you made about being my wife instead of this horrible decision?"

She wiped the hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead. "This is the first of many decisions I'm going to stick to."

Sirius grabbed her when she tried to leave. "I'm not letting you walk away!" She turned her back to him. "I'm not letting you walk away from this…from us again! I'm not giving up this time and I won't let you!" He turned her around and kissed her. Her hand was on the back of his neck. He put his hand on her waist before pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck. They staggered for a moment as their kiss deepened and he picked her up. He held her close to him. Her back hit the wall and he smiled as they kissed. He started kissing her neck and was surprised when she didn't push him away. "You want to be with me still." He muttered.

Her eyes widened when she realized what was happening. He was sucking on her neck. She pushed him away. "You…you can't do that!"

He stared at her when she started breathing heavily. He smirked as his eyebrow rose. "Are you having trouble breathing?" She nodded. He laughed. "You're faking!" She shook her head. He laughed again. "Yes, you are! I've been with you for most of your attacks and I can tell that you are faking this one!"

She glared at him. "No, I'm not!"

He smirked. "Yes, you are!" He went back to kissing her neck. She let out a tiny moan. He put his hand up her skirt. She couldn't feel her fingers. She pushed him away. "Ok, you aren't faking that one." He rubbed her back. "Baby, you need to calm down. Just breathe. All you need to do is breathe. Everything is ok. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here. I'll protect you."

She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Thank you."

He smiled. "You're welcome."

"I appreciate your help but we're still over."

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are."

"No, we're not!"

"Yes, we are!"

"No, we're not!"

She groaned. "Yes, we are!" He shook his head. "Why are you being so difficult?"

He laughed. "I refuse to make this easy for you."

She rolled her eyes. "I see that."

He sighed. "Why do you want to give up on us?"

She sighed. "Why do you want us to be together so bad?"

He gave her a look. "I've already answered that. You're the one that won't give me a straight answer. Not that I should be surprised." She glared at him. "Give me a legitimate answer." She opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her. "And, me cheating on you, throwing my joke of a relationship with Sarah in your face, and almost getting you killed don't count this time."

She huffed. "I really do hate you sometimes."

He smiled. "No, you don't. You love me." She groaned. "I want a real answer. None of your usual bullshit about changing the subject or doing something crazy to distract me. You've dodged the question about what you saw in that dream but I won't let you do that this time. Tell me the truth. Tell me why you want to give up."

She stared at him. "Are you sure you want to know?" He nodded. She sighed. "Ok, you asked for it." His eyebrow rose. She hopped up onto the ledge and sighed. He put his hands on either side of her legs and watched her. "Are you afraid I'm going to jump?" He looked confused. "Are you standing so close because you think I'll snap again and jump?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, I don't. I just want to be close to you so I can hear what you have to say." She nodded. He smirked. "And, that was a nice try to distract me."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Tell me the truth, Baby. I want to know the truth. Start talking."

She sighed. She told him about her vision quest and what happened in it. His eyes widened. She told him about seeing him if she was never born. "You would be really happy. You would be truly happy if you never met me." He shook his head. "So, I'm letting you go. I want you to be free so you can find someone to make you happy."

Sirius blinked. He stared at her closely for a moment before shaking his head. "Are you kidding?" She shook her head. "We…we were supposed to get together a few years ago?" She nodded and shrugged. "If I would have gone with my first instinct, we would have been together?" She nodded. "Did Lewis really treat you like that? Did he always put you down and yell at you like that?" She shrugged. "I could kill him for that! It was bad enough you dated him and then, he kissed you when we were engaged but…I'm going to kill him!"

Sam jumped down and grabbed his arm after he started to pace. "Sirius, you have to calm down! It was a long time ago! It doesn't matter now!" He growled. "I shouldn't have told you." He shook his head. They hugged tightly. "Baby, it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't matter anymore. It was a long time ago."

He rested his forehead against hers. "I know it was a long time ago but I hate the fact that he treated you like that. I knew he was an ass when the two of you went out but I didn't know how much of an ass he was." He kissed her. "I'm sorry."

She smiled. "It's ok."

He winked at her. "You do realize you called me baby, don't you?" She growled as she pushed him away. He laughed. "Why did you push me away? I didn't treat you like that!"

She looked at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" His eyebrow rose. "Sirius, you treated me like crap when we went out! One minute, you were all over me and the next, you were cold as ice! You were constantly yelling at me when you weren't trying to hump my leg and rip my clothes off!"

He shrugged. "I said I was an idiot!" She nodded. "And, you look good naked."

She sneered. "You're a pig!"

He laughed. "I'm a pig because I'm attracted to my wife and still want to have sex with her even after I slept with her many times before?" She nodded. He laughed. "That doesn't make any sense!" She scoffed. "That doesn't make me a pig! Asking you to be naked at all times and force you to stay in the kitchen cooking me food would make me a pig!"

She nodded. "Yes, it would!"

He smirked. "I haven't asked you to do that…yet!"

She rolled her eyes. "As if I'd ever do that for you or anyone else!"

He rubbed his eyes. "I don't understand this at all!" She stared at him. "You've been telling everyone who would listen that we're meant to be since you were ten." She nodded slowly. "But now that we're married, you want to give up?" She nodded again. "That's ridiculous! It doesn't make any sense!"

She sighed. "It does make sense. I told you already. You would be happy without me."

He shook his head. "I don't believe that." She shrugged. "You can't base your decision…your life…our life together on some vision you saw of a possible alternative world." She sighed. "Sammy, you can't base your life on a vision."

She looked down at the ground. "Even if the vision helped save you?" He blinked. "Sirius, I'm doing this for us." He scoffed. "I know you will be upset at first but you will thank me in the end."

He rolled his eyes. "I doubt that highly!" He sighed. "Is there anyway we could be together?"

She bit her lip. "We could be together…after we die."

He choked. "What?" She shrugged. "We have to wait until we are old, gray, and wrinkled when we can be together?" She didn't answer. "Sam, I can't wait that long. We're married now. We are supposed to be together now."

She shook her head. "Sirius, this is the right choice. We're over. You'll see I'm right soon enough. You'll understand one day."

He glared at her. "No, I won't! I will never understand you leaving me like this! I'll never understand why my wife wants to give up on our marriage! I'll never understand why you want me with someone else!"

She took a deep breath. "It's for the best." He grabbed her and kissed her. She moved away from him. "Kissing me won't change my mind. I'm doing this for you. I want you to have a real life with a…sane woman."

He sputtered. "I don't want a sane girl! I want you!" She sighed. His chin trembled. "I want you. All I want is you."

She wiped her eyes. "Don't do this." He kept grabbing at her. "I'll get a divorce right now if you don't stop!"

He shook his head. "You can't do that! Your precious daddy won't let you!"

She growled. "I don't have a father!"

He sighed. "Yes, you do." She shook her head. "You do have a father!"

She growled. "No, I don't! He gave up on me! He doesn't want me as his daughter so I'm not his daughter anymore! He stopped caring about me and I stopped caring about him!"

He glared at her. "You have a father and he does care about you!"

"No, he doesn't!"

"Yes, he does!"

"No, he doesn't!"

He groaned. "Yes, he does!" She wouldn't look at him. "He made a mistake, Sam. We hurt you and you are still upset but that's no reason to give up on us! We love you! He loves his little girl who idolized him and I'm in love with my wife who thought I could do anything!"

She growled. "She doesn't exist anymore!"

He sneered. "Yes, she does! She is just scared right now and she's hiding behind the heartless and cold bitch staring at me!"

She blinked. "I'm not heartless and cold."

He nodded. "You're acting like that! You giving us up like this…you are being cold and heartless! I love you more than anything in this entire world but you're giving me up like I don't matter!"

She shook her head. "I'm not doing that! You do matter!"

He looked at her in disgust. "You said I was just like my family but you are acting like them right now!" Her eyes widened. "You are just like them! They never had faith in me and gave me up just like you're doing now! You said you'd always love me but how can I believe that now when you're acting just like them!"

She slapped him. "I'm nothing like the scum that raised you!" He rubbed his cheek. "I know how good you are when you want to be! I know you are worth more than all of them put together! I know this but we can't be together! You will find someone else who realizes this too!"

Sirius pushed her up against the wall. "I want you to get one thing clear, _Black_!" She gulped. "I don't care how many times you say it! I'm not giving up on you and I'm not dating some sane girl! I want my wife, _you_, to be with me! I want us to be together! We are each other's family! I'm not giving up on you! I won't let you give up on me! This is forever! We are forever!" He glared at her. "You promised to be with me! You promised we would be together forever! I'm not letting you go back on your word! I refuse to let you give up on us!" She sighed. "I don't care about that stupid vision you had! I know it was wrong! I know it in my heart that I wouldn't be as happy without you as I am with you!" He grabbed her hand and put it over his heart before he put his hand over her heart. "Your heart is my heart!" She gulped. "My heart is yours! We belong to each other! My heart belongs to you and your heart belongs to me! That's how it is! That's how it will always be!" She was pale. He looked at her in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Sam blinked. "Where did you come up with that?" His eyebrows furrowed together. "Where did you come up with that?" He shook his head. "Did I tell you about that?"

His head cocked to the side. "What are you talking about?" She sighed. "Are you talking about the heart thing I just did?" She nodded. He shrugged. "I just thought of it. You didn't tell me anything." She nodded slowly. "Why did you ask me about that?"

She licked her lips. "I…uh…I…um…you did that in the vision I had." He blinked. "I thought I told you."

He shook his head. "You didn't tell me." She nodded. "That has to prove to you that I love you and we belong together."

She sighed. "It doesn't prove anything. I still know this is the right choice. You would be happier without me. You all would be happier without me."

He grabbed her arm. "That's not true! I know I wouldn't be happier without you!" She tried to break free of his hold. "Do you think Remus would be happier without you?" She nodded. He sighed. "What about Lily?" She looked at him in confusion. "Would she be happier without you? Would she be happier without her best friend?"

She nodded. "Yes, she would!" He looked at her in disbelief. "She would be a million times happier without me! You all would be!"

He groaned. "That's bullshit and you know it, Samantha! You and Lily are attached at the fucking hip! You can't brush your teeth without having a fucking hour long conversation about it!" She pulled away from him. "Remus needs you too! You were the first person to accept him! He told you about his furry little problem first and you were his first everything just like he was yours! He wouldn't be happier without you!" He rubbed his eyes. "What about the girls, or Frank, Kevin, and Chris? What about them? What about that stupid prat Michael you insist on hanging out with? Would they be better off not knowing you?" She nodded. He groaned. "And James?" She wouldn't look at him. "What about your brother, Sam? How would not knowing you affect him? How wouldn't having a sister change him? How would it affect him?"

She glared at him. "I don't give a _FUCK_ about him!" He choked. "His life would be so much fucking better if he didn't have to pretend to care about his nutter sister! He wouldn't have to pretend that he was worried about me going to the nut house! His life would be so much fucking better if I wasn't apart of it!"

He started shaking her. She groaned. "Would you snap the fuck out of this…whatever it is?" She felt sick to her stomach. He stopped shaking her. "I'm sorry but you need to stop this! Our lives wouldn't be better without you in it! Things would be so much different and I doubt highly that it would be better!" He held her face and kissed her. "I know, in my heart, that I need you in my life. I know I'm happier with you in my life than I was without you." Her chin trembled. He kissed her. She held onto him. He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you." He whispered. They kissed again. "I love only you."

She caressed his cheek. "I know you do and…" She put her hand over his heart. He smiled. "I heart you too." He laughed lightly. "But this is the right thing to do." His face fell. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I don't want to hurt you but…I am. We both need time apart to fix ourselves first. We've hurt each other too much and had people hurt us too much. We need time apart. This is the right thing."

He started to cry. "This isn't right! We are right together! Giving up isn't right!" She sighed. "I love you! I want you! We need to be together! That's what's right!"

She kissed his forehead. "This is right. I know it is. We both need to be mature about this and realize it is best to move on."

He wiped his eyes and growled. "Fuck being mature! I'm not known for my maturity!" She nodded. "Fuck being mature! We belong together!" He grabbed her and buried his face in her stomach. He cried. "Come on, Sammy! You know we belong together! Please, don't do this to us!" She sighed and rubbed his back as he cried. "I love you! I want us to be together!"

She sighed. "Sirius, I know that but this is for the best. You'll see one day."

He was on the ground as he watched her walk to the door. "You're a selfish bitch!" She froze. He sputtered. "You're a heartless, cold, and selfish bitch! You're leaving me for a stupid reason! You're a selfish bitch! I can't believe I married someone as selfish as you! I don't know why I married someone like you!" She looked away from him so he wouldn't see her tears. "You are crazy! You're a fucking nutter! You always have been and you always will be!" She closed her eyes. She got her wish. He was being a jerk again just like she wanted. "Why did I waste all these years on you? Why did I waste so much energy giving a shit about a selfish bitch like you?"

She gulped back her tears. "I…I don't know. You should have…you should have thought about caring for me more. I…I guess you shouldn't have married me after all." His eyes widened. "You're right. You shouldn't have wasted so much energy on me."

He shook his head. "Sammy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! You know I didn't! I-I'm just upset! Please, you have to know I didn't mean it!"

Her chin trembled. "I know." He smiled. "But…I'm still leaving. We're still over."

His face fell. "Don't leave me!"

She started to cry. "I have to. I'm sorry. You'll be happier without me."

He fell to his knees when she was gone. He cried. "I didn't fucking mean it!" He started kicking the wall. "I can't lose you! I can't fucking lose you, Sammy!" He rested against the wall as he cried. "I don't want to lose you." He mumbled.

* * *

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* * *

Sirius was in a daze the next day. He couldn't believe he lost her again. He couldn't understand what was happening. He felt so lost. She had been upset when she left him. That proved to him that she still loved him. This was just as hard on her as it was on him but she still chose to walk away. His friends tried to be supportive but it wasn't helping. He needed her back. He needed her with him. He stood in the middle of the hall and watched as people walked by. It felt like he was staying still, which he was, and everyone was racing by him. He felt like shit. She tried to stay away from him but he insisted that they talk. He tried to convince her to come back to him but she wouldn't budge. She told him to try and give it a week. Give it a week and things will be ok by then. He stormed off. He knew that that was a lie. He knew things wouldn't be better in a week. He knew he would still miss her. He would still love her. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. He just wanted his wife back. "Will someone, please, just kill me already?" He mumbled to no one in particular. "Just put me out of my misery. I beg you."

James sighed and patted him on the back. "Come on, Padfoot. It's going to be ok." Sirius glared at him. He shrugged. "I wish we could hex Snivellus to cheer you up but you're on probation and he is constantly supervised."

He groaned. "I don't have the energy to try and hex him anyway."

His eyebrow rose. "You don't?" He shook his head. "Do you want to hex some first years? That always cheers you up."

He sighed. "No, I don't." He nodded slowly. "I want my wife back."

He nodded. "I know you do but it's just a week. She'll change her mind."

He looked at him. "No, she won't. She said she was sticking to it. I'll be happier without her. I know that that's complete bullshit!"

He sighed. "I know but…" Sirius looked him when he let out a defeated sigh. "At least, she talks to you, mate." He looked down at the ground. "At least, she wants to be your friend and talk to you one day."

He put an arm around his neck and sighed. "You're stealing my thunder on the misery train, Prongs." James let out a tiny laugh. "And, she wants to talk to you too. She's just being a stubborn bitch like she can be."

He laughed and nudged him. "That's my sister you're talking about, Padfoot!" He laughed and shrugged. "But you're right! Lily, Sam, and Mum are the most stubborn women in the world!" He laughed. "How do we put up with them?"

He shrugged. "We're whipped." James' eyebrow rose. He laughed. "We're stubborn as hell just like Dad." He nodded slowly. "They're a hell of a lot more stubborn and the three of us are royally whipped by them. You know it's true."

He nodded. "I know but at least, they let us think we're in charge…in front of our friends." He nodded in response. James looked around before staring at him. "I…I…" Sirius blinked. James dragged him over to the corner and smiled. "I need to talk to you about something."

Sirius' eyebrow rose. "Mate, I love you like a brother but that's it. I like girls. I respect your…uh…lifestyle choice or whatever but I like girls."

James looked at him incredulously. "What…?" He rolled his eyes and slapped him upside his head. "I'm not gay, git! I'm not coming out to you at all!" Sirius shrugged. "Where did you come up with that?" He opened his mouth to speak but James stopped him. "I really don't want to know how you worked that one out. I need to tell you something important. I need you to know something important."

He nodded. "Ok, what do you need to tell me?" James looked nervous. His eyebrow rose. "Are you coming out to me?" He glared at him. "Because it is really ok with me that you're gay. I'll still be your best friend and I'll still love you like a brother."

He groaned. "Padfoot, I'm not gay!"

He laughed. "Ok, I believe you!" He sighed in relief. "What do you want to tell me?"

He gulped and took out the velvet box that was in his pocket. "I have the ring."

He blinked. "You have the ring?" He nodded. "Mate, I already said I don't think of you in that way! Now, you're just being stubborn! I won't marry you, James Potter!"

He growled when he heard girls giggle. "You're an asshole!" Sirius nodded and shrugged as he laughed. He sighed. "Do you remember the rings we bought at Diagon Alley?" Sirius gave him a look. "I see that you do."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I remember." He smiled in response. "Why are you bringing them up now? You know what is happening with me and the wife. Why are you bringing them up?"

He blushed. "I'm sorry, mate. I don't want to upset you or anything."

He shrugged. "It's ok. I didn't mean to snap at you." He shrugged in response. He shook his head. "We are starting to sound like a bunch of girls. We are starting to sound like that prat Michael with the way we are trying to protect our feelings." He laughed. "Why did you mention the rings?"

He scratched the back of his head and smiled. "I brought the ring back with me even though Lily broke up with me." He nodded slowly. "Well, we're back together and everything is going great!"

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear it, Prongs!"

He beamed at him. "Thank you! I'm pleased with it myself!" Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes. "Well, next week is Valentine's Day and…I'm going to propose to her."

His eyes widened. "Are you serious?" James nodded. "Don't do it!" He held up his hand and showed him his wedding ring. "Don't make the same mistake I did! Don't trap yourself like I did!" He grabbed his shoulders. "Get out while you still can! Don't end up like me! Stay single for the rest of your life!"

He stuttered for a moment before shaking his head. "What?" Sirius' eyes were wide as saucers and he shook his head. "I want to marry her! I love her!" Sirius kept shaking his head. He groaned. "But I want to have sex! She won't do it unless we're married!" He started laughing. "What?"

He smirked. "Do you want to have sex?" James nodded eagerly. "Are you only proposing to her so you'll get sex out of her?"

He shook his head. "Of course not! I love Lily with all my heart! I want to marry her because I love her, not just for sex!" He smirked. "Of course the sex is an added bonus to all of it but that's not the only reason."

He laughed. "I know all of that! I was just joking!" James punched him in the arm. He rubbed his arm and laughed. "Are you nervous?" He nodded eagerly. He smiled. "It will be ok, Prongs! She'll say yes! You know she will!"

He let out a tiny laugh. "I hope so. I really hope she does." He smiled at him. "If she does say yes and we do end up getting married, I want you right there next to me."

He shook his head. "I'm not into three ways." He looked at him incredulously. "Unless, it is me with two girls. I'm sorry, mate. You'll have to ask Moony or Wormtail for that."

He groaned. "Padfoot, would you be serious?" He winked at him. He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean! I want you to be my best man!"

He slapped him on the back and laughed. "I know what you meant." James sighed in relief. "And, I'd be honored. You know I'll be your best man."

He hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Padfoot! I appreciate it!"

He smiled. "Don't worry about it. If Sam and I were still planning on getting married after she finished school like we planned, I would have asked you to be my best man too." He sighed sadly. James placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shrugged. "Well, you were my best man when we got married even if I didn't ask you."

James smiled. "I know, mate. I appreciate it." Sirius gave him a small smile. "Things will get better. I promise you they will. Sammy will realize she made the wrong choice. You'll get her back before you die." Sirius laughed. "It's not like she left you for Lewis or anything."

Sirius groaned. "That would have killed me if she left me for that no talent ass clown!" James laughed. They put their arms around their necks and laughed as they walked down the hall. "You're right. Things will get better. I'll get her back and you'll marry Lily. We have our whole lives ahead of us and things can only go up. Things can only get better for us."

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James took a deep breath when he saw her walking down the hall. This was it. This was the moment he would talk to her. He gulped when he approached her. She was sitting on the window seat in the hall as she read her book. "Hi." She looked up and her eyebrow rose. "Can I…um…can I sit down next to you?" She stared at him oddly. He sighed in defeat. "Can I, please, sit down next to you?" She nodded. He smiled in surprise. He sat down. "Thank you." She nodded and shrugged. "Sammy…" She gave him a look. He sighed again. "I'm sorry. I forgot." She nodded. "Sam, I need to talk to you about something important." She closed her book and stared at him. "Are you going to listen to me?" She held in a laugh and nodded. He looked around and took a deep breath. "It's really important what I have to tell you."

Sam nodded. "You mentioned that." He bit his lip and shrugged. "Are you trying to come out to me?" He looked at her in horror. She shrugged. "It's ok if you are. I heard about you and Sirius snogging in bed while I was in the nut house." He choked. "I thought this would be the next logical step." He blinked. "Have you told Mum and Lily? I'm sure they'd like to know and they'd support your lifestyle choice or whatever no matter what."

He looked confused. "Are you kidding me?" She shrugged. "Why do people keep asking if I'm coming out to them? This is getting ridiculous!" She held her smile. "First, Sirius thought I was coming out to him and now, my own baby sister thinks I'm gay! What the hell is going on?" She stared at him with a neutral face when he looked at her. "Do I have like a gay vibe I don't know about? Do I give off a gay vibe?"

She couldn't hold it in anymore. She started laughing hysterically. "James, you're too easy!" He looked at her in confusion. "Sirius cornered me earlier to talk about us again and he mentioned making fun of you for _coming out_ to him! I couldn't resist!"

He laughed. "That was very evil, Sammy!" She stopped laughed. He gulped. "_Sam_, I really do need to talk to you."

She nodded. "That's what you said. What do you want to discuss?"

He sighed. "Have you talked to Dad?" Her eyebrow rose. He shrugged. "I was just asking." She nodded. "He is doing good. He misses us, of course. He misses you." She stood up. He sighed. "Can you sit back down?" She did. "I just thought you'd want to know about him."

She shook her head. "Well, I don't. Harold isn't a part of my life anymore." He sighed. "You didn't want to talk about him anyway. What did you want to talk about?"

He took a deep breath. "Have forgiven me yet?"

She groaned. "Come on, James! Stop beating around the bush and tell me what's on your mind!" Her face scrunched up. "Now, I know what Sirius has to deal with." She shook her head. "I really don't envy him at all."

"I'm not always like this!"

"I was talking about him dealing with me when I don't want to answer a question!"

He laughed. "Oh, I see." She rolled her eyes. "I wanted to talk to you because next week is Valentine's Day." She nodded slowly. "And, I'm going to ask Lily to marry me."

She gasped. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am." She smiled. "What do you think?"

She blinked. "What do I think?" He nodded. "I think…I think it's great!" He smiled in surprise. "You and Lily are perfect for each other! I think it's brilliant!"

He beamed. "You do?" She nodded. "So, I have your blessing?"

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "What are you talking about?"

He shrugged. "You're Lily's best friend. I wanted your blessing."

She blinked. "You're supposed to ask for her parents blessing, not mine. You're supposed to ask her father."

James smiled. "I know that! They gave me their blessing at Christmas!" She nodded slowly. "I wanted your blessing too." She smiled in surprise. He shrugged. "You're her best friend and I know she'll want to talk to you before she gives me an answer so I thought I'd beat her to the punch."

Sam laughed. "She won't come to me before she answers you! She lo…cares for you a lot! She'll say yes straight away!" He stared at her. She smiled. "You have my blessing, James. You have my blessing to marry my best friend, ok?"

He beamed at her. "Are you serious?" She nodded. He pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you, Sammy! I needed to hear that!" She was stiff as a board. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I can't call you that anymore." He kept hugging her. She had trouble breathing. His eyes widened. He let her go. "You were acting like that because I was hugging you and not because I called you Sammy?" She nodded quickly and let out a shaky laugh. "I'm sorry. I forgot about your…uh…problem."

She shrugged and wiped the hair out of her eyes. "It's ok, James. Don't worry about it." He smiled. She gave his hand a quick pat. "Good luck with the proposal. I know Lily will say yes." She smiled. "And, I promise I won't tell her and ruin the surprise."

He smiled. "I appreciate that. Thank you." She shrugged. "I want to talk to you about something else." She nodded. He shifted uncomfortably. "I wanted to talk to you about Sirius." She nodded again. "I wanted to talk to you about you and Sirius." Her eyebrow rose. "Why did you leave him? He's miserable without you."

She sighed. "James, it doesn't concern you. This is between us."

He gave her a look. "This does concern me! He is my best friend and you're my little sister! You're married to him! It is my concern!"

She rolled her eyes. "What do you know about being married?"

He sneered. "I know a hell of a lot more about being married than you do!" She growled. "I know you don't walk away like you did! I know you don't just give up when times get rough!"

She shook her head. "I didn't give up!"

He nodded. "Yes, you did!" She wouldn't look at him. He sighed. "Sam, why did you give up on him?"

She bit her lip. "He would be happier without me. You all would be."

He blinked. "That's not true." She sighed. He nudged her. "My life would suck without my baby sister, Sam." She rolled her eyes. He laughed. "Even if she doesn't talk to me and hates the very ground I walk on, it would still suck without her."

She smiled. "James, I don't hate the ground you walk on." He smiled. "I just hate the very sight of you and want to smack you silly every single time you try to talk to me."

James laughed. "Oh, thanks a lot, Sam! That makes me feel loads better!" She winked at him. He smiled. "Do you hate the very sight of me?" She shrugged. He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Come on! Be honest!"

Sam shook her head. "I don't hate the very sight of you. I just…don't like you…right now." He smiled. "And, I can't stand you touching me." He nodded. "And, I hate that lost look you have whenever you look at me when I don't talk to you!" He nodded slowly. "And-!"

He stopped her. "I get it! I get it! You can stop now, Sam!" She laughed and nodded. He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You're such a git!"

She gave him a look. "You were a git first!"

He nodded. "I know and I'm sorry. I hope you know that." She shrugged. "I just…I want the old you back. Sirius was right. The polite version of you…it really sucks!"

She laughed. "Why does it suck? I haven't hexed you once!"

He nodded again. "I know! What's up with that?"

She looked at him oddly. "You want me to hex you?"

He smiled. "Yes, I do!" She blinked. He shrugged. "It would show me you still care."

She laughed. "You and Sirius are both crazy! That doesn't make any sense!"

He shrugged. "It's just the way it is!" She rolled her eyes. "Why did you give him up?"

She sighed. "He would be happier without me."

He shook his head. "No, he wouldn't. Give me a good reason." She told him about seeing the world without her in it. He blinked. "You're basing your decision on some fake world?" She nodded. He sighed. "That doesn't make any sense!"

She groaned. "Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

He threw his hands up in frustration. "Would you listen to me for once?" She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't make any sense, Sam! He wouldn't be happier without you! He loves you!"

She nodded. "I know he does." He stared at her. "And, I…I feel the same way about him."

James' eyebrows furrowed together. "Then why did you leave him?" She sighed. "I don't understand." She shrugged. "Sam, I want to understand and help if I can. I want to know why this happened."

Sam rubbed her eyes. "Sirius and I…we have hurt each other a lot. If I wasn't around, he wouldn't have all these problems. He wouldn't be miserable. He would live his life and be happy. He could find someone sane and have a real life. You all wouldn't have to waste your time worrying about crazy old me and you could focus on more important things." He shook his head. She shrugged. "I just want him to have a real life and he can't have one with me."

He smiled. "Yes, he can." She sighed. "He doesn't care that you're…you have…stuff going on. He loves you because of all that. He just wants to be with you."

She shook her head. "We can't be together. This is the right choice." He sighed. "I can't be with him because I need to get over the pain he has caused me and he needs to get over the pain I've caused him." He nodded slowly. "I know he is in pain, I'm in pain too, but he will get over it. He needs to let me have time to forgive him and I need him to have time to forgive me. I regret hurting him. I hate that I'm hurting him but it's for the best."

He nodded. "I see." She sighed. "Well, it's still a stupid decision."

She rolled her eyes. "You're still a git." He laughed. "I should go." He shook his head. "I need to go." He shook his head. She looked at him oddly. "You want me to stay?" He nodded. She blinked. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I like hanging out with you."

Her eyebrow rose. "You've never liked hanging out with me before."

He rolled his eyes. "That's not true!"

She nodded. "Yes, it is." He gave her a look. She shrugged. "It is true. When we were kids, you were horrible to me and didn't want to hang out with a freak like me." He sighed. "We only started hanging out after I started dating Remus. We only hang out with a group of people."

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You don't have to apologize for not hanging out with me. Brothers and sisters don't usually hang out together anyway."

He smiled. "We…uh…we should start hanging out."

She shook her head. "No, we shouldn't."

His head cocked to the side. "Why not?"

She smiled. "You know why."

He sighed. "Because…I…of what happened when you went back to the nut house?" She nodded. "I…uh…I've missed talking to you. I'm glad you got your voice back." She smiled and nodded. "So, when do you think you'll forgive me?"

She shrugged. "I think around the same time that pigs come flying out of my bum while singing muggle Christmas hymns." He laughed. "I don't know."

He nodded. "Ok, I understand." She nodded. "Will you forgive Sirius before me?"

She laughed. "Will you quit while you're ahead?" He smiled as he shook his head. "I didn't think so." He laughed. "I have to go." He sighed. "I promised to meet Lilac."

He groaned. "You've been hanging out with her a lot more than usual lately."

Her eyebrow rose. "I guess I have. Why does that matter?"

He shrugged. "She's an annoying bitch."

She laughed. "She can be…a bit much at times but she has been my friend since I started here." He nodded. "At least, I'm not hanging out with Sev-!"

He sighed when she paled. "Are you ok?" She nodded. "Have you seen him since…?" She shook her head. "We've been making sure he hasn't come near you since that day." She looked at him in surprise. He shrugged. "We just want to make sure he doesn't hurt you again or anyone else."

She smiled. "Thank you, James. I…um…I appreciate that."

He smiled. "Don't worry about it, Sam. I'll always look out for and protect you."

She shifted uncomfortably. "I should get going. I don't want to hear Lilac bitch."

He laughed. "She does that anyway." She laughed. "I'll see you later." She nodded. "Can we talk?" Her eyebrow rose. He blushed and shrugged. "I mean…if we have to and there's a big group around like usual, can I talk to you?"

She shrugged. "I guess so. If you have to."

He smiled. "I'll talk to you later then." She waved goodbye. He beamed. "She talked to me and didn't hit me!" He laughed. "Things are looking up!"


	83. Chapter 81: What Is Real And Just A Drea

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay. I'm suffering from severe writer's block. I hope you can forgive my absence. Also, I want to apologize to the reviewer that asked me when I would update next. I promised them it would happen a few weeks ago but as usual, life got in the way. This chapter isn't the greatest but I still hope you like it. There are two songs that go along with this chapter. For the second to last memory, "Somewhere in Between" by Lifehouse is the song that fits and for the last memory, "Lie in the Sound" by Trespassers William is the song that fits. They are really good songs and I believe they fit pretty well. Again, I'm sorry for the delay in updates. I don't want to be one of those authors but I guess I am. I hope you like it. Please, read and review. Enjoy!

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Chapter 81: What Is Real And Just A Dream.

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Andrew sighed as he rubbed his eyes. Sirius wasn't talking and he was sulking. "Come on, Sirius. You can talk to me." He didn't answer. "What's wrong?" He shrugged. "You either talk to me now or I'll advise Dumbledore to expel you."

Sirius glared at him. "Go ahead and do it! I don't care! Get me kicked out of school! Why would I give a shit?"

He groaned. "What happened with Sam now?"

He pouted. "She gave up on me. She left me." His eyebrow rose. "She broke up with me."

He blinked. "She can't break up with you. You're married. It's not like she dumped you before the Christmas Ball. She either divorced you or she didn't. Which is it?"

He rolled his eyes. "She didn't get a divorce. She isn't allowed to." He nodded slowly. Sirius explained what happened the night she got her voice back and groaned. "Then she just left me. It's been a week and we haven't had any contact. I've tried talking to her a few times and I've tried to convince her to come back to me but she won't do it. She insists on sticking to her decision."

He nodded. "Well, I'm proud of her for finally sticking to a decision." He glared at him. He shrugged. "She's very indecisive. This is a very good step in the right direction." He growled. "But her reasons are stupid." He smiled in surprise. "It was a fake world and a fake vision. It doesn't count and she shouldn't have left you…again."

He smiled. "I agree with you wholeheartedly!"

He rolled his eyes. "I just bet you do."

He shrugged. "Well, I do. I would understand if she left me because I cheated on her or I beat her but I didn't do anything like that." Andrew's eyebrow rose. He rolled his eyes. "Ok, the train incident doesn't count! I was asleep and dreaming of Sam when Sarah attacked me. Nothing happened. We kissed for a bit before I realized what was going on." He nodded slowly. "I hit her once…twice." He eyed him closely. "I think it was only twice." Andrew rolled his eyes. "The first time was on our wedding night. She was leaving me and said I was just like my family. The second time was by accident. It's part of the reason why we started coming to marriage counseling. We…she just got back from St. Mungo's for the second time. She was being polite as hell to me and I hated it. That prat Lewis kept touching her and I lost it. I was fighting with him and then, I got into a fight with her. I was trying to hold her down, my hand slipped, and I hit her. I slapped her by accident."

He nodded. "I see." He shrugged. "Have you ever pushed her, pushed her against a wall, held her down against her will, or grabbed her when she didn't want you to?" He nodded slowly. "Have you ever yelled at her for no reason?" He shifted uncomfortably and nodded. "Have you ever put her down?" He nodded. "I see."

He glared at him. "What's your point?" Andrew stared at him. "Look, I know I'm not perfect! I've made a shit load of mistakes but that doesn't make me an abusive husband or whatever! I was an asshole to her when we first went out! I yelled at her! I put her down! I treated her like shit! I know I did all of that stupid shit to her! I know what I want now and I want her! All I want is her!"

Andrew smiled. "I'm glad you know what you now." Sirius shrugged. "I wasn't implying that you were an abusive boyfriend or husband." He scoffed. "I wasn't! You came to that conclusion all on your own! I knew about you hitting her those two times and I asked those questions so I could have the whole picture. I wasn't implying anything." He nodded slowly. "We left off…you told me about when she came back from Paris with a boyfriend and breasts." Sirius snickered. "You conned seven kisses out of her." He nodded slowly. "She fought with everyone because you tried to get her away from Patrick and then, she broke up with him. She snuck around with Remus before they became official." Sirius held in a growl. "We left off after you found out they started sleeping together again and you were being an ass to them." Sirius rolled his eyes and nodded. "Would you like to continue?"

Sirius pouted. "No, I wouldn't." Andrew rolled his eyes. He groaned. "Fine, I'll talk!" He laughed and nodded. "I was a jerk to them! He was sleeping with her! He got to her first!" His eyebrow rose. "I should have been her first but I wasn't." He nodded. "They promised me to wait! They waited alright! They waited a fucking month!" He nodded. "I was snapping at them and everyone else. James had to practically kick my ass to calm me down. I apologized to her and then, I kissed her after telling her she shouldn't be in love with him and she should be in love with me even though nothing would ever happen between us." Andrew rolled his eyes. "Remus caught us. Sam went after him. They fought. He broke up with her. She was miserable and it was all my fault." He waited for him to continue. "I felt bad about it. I tried talking to them but they wouldn't listen. I tried to hug her but she slapped me. I went to Dumbledore after Sam kissed Snape to piss off Remus because he kissed Hannah to piss her off. They were real idiots." He said as he rolled his eyes. Andrew laughed. "Dumbledore taught me how to use pensieves and I showed Remus the truth of what happened. Sam didn't forgive him right away but after I _accidentally_ tripped Snape into Remus and he got hurt…they made up after that."

He smirked. "You tripped Severus on purpose so he would knock into Remus?" He shrugged. "That was very nice of you." He shrugged again. "Keep going."

He rubbed his eyes. "Well, over Christmas, we went home to Mum and Dad's. Remus went home for a few days before coming to our house. Sam and I had our traditional dance. She was still mad about what I did to break them up and how I got her precious Remus hurt but she still danced with me. We made a promise to always keep our tradition going no matter what so she had to do it." He nodded slowly. "I…I wanted her to forgive me so bad and I didn't know why. I just needed her to forgive me and…we danced again after Remus came to stay with us. It was nice and…"

He smiled. "Tell me about it."

Sirius smiled at her. It was New Year's Eve and it was time for their traditional dance but she was busy with Remus. He rolled his eyes as he sat next to James as their parents and Sam and Remus danced. He saw how uncomfortable Remus looked while dancing in front of everyone but the smile on his face was priceless. He had this sense of delighted surprise that he had a girlfriend. He had a girlfriend that was crazy about him. Her parents and brother loved him as well. Sirius sighed. They were so happy together and it was making him itch. Sam had moments of being cold towards Remus and for some reason, Sirius loved those moments but they didn't last all that long. Remus would mention a book they read, or he would say something sweet to her and Sam would melt. Luckily, they weren't having sex. She cut him off because she didn't know if she could trust him and Sirius was thrilled. He didn't like thinking about them together like that. He didn't like thinking about one of his best friends violating his Sammy. She was too young for all of that. She was too innocent. She was too sweet to be having sex at fourteen. He didn't like her rushing into something so serious.

His smile grew when they were done dancing. His face darkened when they kissed. He didn't understand why it bothered him so much. They looked so happy but he was miserable. They were two of his best friends and they were madly in love with each other but he couldn't stand it. He tried getting over his…whatever it was he was feeling but he couldn't. He felt his heart stutter when she blushed as Remus kissed her cheek. He rubbed his chest. He had no idea why his heart did that. It was annoying to him. They were hugging like they were never going to let go. He jumped to get his chance to dance with her. He smiled when he tapped her shoulder. They turned and stared at him. "Are you ready for our dance?" Remus' eyebrow rose. Sam blinked. He shrugged. "It's a tradition." Remus eyed him closely. Sam put her head on his shoulder and smiled at him when he tightened his hold on her. Sirius held in a grumble. "Sammy, a promise is a promise."

Sam sighed before giving him a look. "We danced on Christmas." He smiled and winked at her. She sighed again. "But a promise is a promise." He beamed at her and nodded. She smiled at Remus. "Baby, it's just one dance." He shook his head. Sirius blinked in surprise. He knew he messed up their relationship but he thought Remus forgave him. "It's a tradition."

Remus took a deep breath. "It's a tradition?" She nodded. "And, it's just one dance?" She smiled and nodded. They kissed. "Have fun." They hugged. "Keep your hands where I can see them." Sirius smirked. "I mean it. I don't want you groping or _kissing_ her."

Sirius held up his hands in defense. "I won't do anything. I promise." He gave him a look. "I thought we were past all the mistrust. Are we past all of it?" He nodded slowly. "Then why are you acting like you don't trust me?"

He squeezed her to him. She smiled. "We just got back together. I don't want anymore problems." She gave him a kiss. He stared at her with a smile. "I love you and I don't want to lose you again."

She hugged him tightly. Sirius sighed in defeat. They looked like they wanted to hang onto each other forever. They looked like they were desperately clinging to each other to get back what they lost. They were trying to get back what Sirius made them lose. "You won't lose me, Remus. It's different now. Sirius knows he made a mistake. You have forgiven him. Nothing can break us up now, Moony." He blushed and smiled. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they held each other tightly. They still had an innocence about them but it wasn't like how it used to be. They lost it. They lost something. Whatever it was, they lost it and they want it back real bad. They kissed slowly. "I love you too, Remus." They blushed and smiled. "We got through the tough times and we're together. We're stronger because of it. Nothing can break us apart now or ever." His smile grew. Sirius glared at the ground. "We're forever, Moony." They kissed again. "I love you with all of my heart. Do you still love me?"

He closed his eyes and sighed in content as they hugged. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered in her ear. "I love you with all of my heart too." She smiled. "We're forever and always." She blushed and kissed him. The delighted sense of surprise returned to him. He looked at Sirius. "The two of you can dance without any objections from me." Sirius smiled and nodded. "Bring her back to me, Padfoot. She means everything to me."

He nodded. Sam blushed. "I promise."

He kissed her. "I love you always."

Her blush grew. "I love you always, always."

Sirius took her hand in his and smiled. She stole a glance at Remus and smiled. "Thank you for dancing with me." She nodded. He placed his hands on her waist. She placed her hands on his shoulders after a moment's hesitation. "Are you mad I asked for our dance?" She shook her head. "Are you mad at all?"

Sam sighed. "I'm not mad about dancing with you." She whispered. He stared at her. "Sirius, don't…" He looked confused. "This dance and the dance at Christmas was one thing but…you took me away from him one too many times. I don't want that to happen again."

He shook his head. "I promised him I would bring you back to him. I won't break his trust in me…or yours again." He whispered.

She stared at him. "You don't have my trust." His eyes widened as he gulped. "Because of you, I lost him. We've only just got back together." He nodded slowly. "I love him, Sirius. I love him with my whole heart. Why did you make him go away?"

He sighed. "I already told you, Sammy."

Her head cocked to the side. "Tell it to me again. Tell me why you wanted to hurt us when we loved each other. Tell me again."

He licked his lips. "I was a git. I wanted your eyes on me and he took that away. He took you away or I thought he did but I see now that he didn't. I see now that I was a fool. He could never take you away from me like that. We're friends forever." She nodded slowly. "He has forgiven me. Have you?" She sighed. He gulped. "Have you forgiven me, Sammy?"

She sighed. "I don't know." He nodded slowly. "Should I?" He looked at her oddly. "Should I?" He nodded. "Why should I forgive you?"

He took a deep breath. "You should forgive me because…I don't know." Her eyebrow rose. He smiled. "We've known each other for a long time and we've always had some sort of problem but we've always managed to work past it." She nodded slowly. "We are more than friends. We love each other." Her eyes widened. He blushed. "We…I just meant that we love each other as friends and we are close like brother and sister." She nodded. "I'd hate to lose that because I made a terrible mistake. I didn't mean to hurt you or Remus but I did. He has forgiven me. It seems like he has forgiven me but I know you haven't." She bit her lip. He held her closer to him. Their temples rested against each other's. He closed his eyes. He didn't know why his heart was racing. He didn't know why his palms were sweating. He didn't understand it at all but he didn't really care. He was just happy that she was dancing with him and it seemed she was listening to him. She was hearing his heartfelt apology and he hoped it made some impact on her. "I just want my friend back, Sammy. You mean a lot to me. You're more than just a friend to me." He whispered. She started at him closely. "You're more to me than that."

She blinked. "What are you saying?"

He gave her a small smile. "You're my family, Sammy. You, James, Mum, and Dad are my family. You're my real family and I'd hate to lose you over some stupid mistake I made. A stupid mistake I regret making." He took in her scent. He sighed in content and smiled as he held her. He didn't know why he was feeling like this or what the feeling was. He didn't know how he was feeling different but he did know he liked it. He liked dancing with her. He liked being this close to her and he didn't know why. "Do you forgive me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know yet." He sighed. "I still…I don't know. Can I trust you?" He nodded quickly. "I love Remus. I don't want to lose him again." He sighed and nodded. "Will you come between us again?" He shook his head. "Will you promise me you won't come between us again, Sirius?" He nodded. "Promise me."

He gulped. "I promise I won't come between you and Remus ever again."

She smiled. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Do you forgive me?"

She shrugged again. "I'll think about it."

He laughed. "Come on, Sammy! Be honest!"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I'll consider it." He smiled. "I'll really consider it." He nodded. "I still care about you."

He hugged her tightly. "I know and I'll always care about you." She smiled. He picked her up and spun her around. She held onto him and laughed. He beamed. "You'll forgive me! You always do!" She giggled. He winked at Evelyn when she smirked at him. He set her down when the music ended. "Thank you for the dance. Thank you for sticking with our tradition." She smiled. He leaned in and his lips grazed her cheek. She smiled again. He leaned in again and his lips touched the corner of her mouth. She looked at him in surprise. He smiled. "I enjoyed dancing with you." She nodded. He let her go and he sighed when she went to Remus and they hugged. He watched them dance as he went back to sit next to James on the couch. He shifted uncomfortably when he felt Evelyn's eyes on him. He nodded at her. She gave him a sad smile. He watched Sam. She was beaming at Remus and he was starting to feel miserable again. He smiled when she glanced at him. His heart stuttered again and he started feeling itchy. "She…she is…" He shook his head. "She'll forgive me."

Andrew laughed. "You were starting to fall in love with her."

Sirius shrugged. "I guess so but I thought James put some itching powder in my clothes as a prank." He laughed again. "I knew I loved her but I just didn't know if that makes any sense." He nodded slowly. "I should have known."

He shrugged. "We don't always recognize what's right in front of our face." He nodded slowly. "I want you to keep going. Tell me some more things."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "She finally told me she forgave me on my birthday." He smiled and nodded. "We kept our tradition."

He nodded. "Tell me about it."

James and Sirius waited in the common room. James groaned. "Where is she?" He shrugged. "Why does she always take forever?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I don't know, mate. When she comes down, why don't you ask her?" He gave him a look. He shrugged. "We don't have to do this. We could just forget it."

Sam stumbled down the stairs. "We can't forget it! It's your birthday!" He smiled at her. "I'm sorry I took so long. Lilac refused to stop talking."

He shrugged. "It's ok." She nodded. "Are you sure about this? We don't have to do it."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course we do! This is our tradition and you're a part of our family! Deal with it!" He laughed and nodded. "Let's go!"

They huddled under the invisibility cloak and took careful steps to the astronomy tower. He stood by the ledge and smiled at them when they stood on either side of him. He glanced at her before looking at the star he picked out. He closed his eyes and a smile spread across his face. He shrugged. "Ok, I'm done." They nodded. They stood in silence. James let out a loud snore and they shared a laugh. "He always does this. Every year, it's like clockwork."

She let out a tiny giggle. "Yes, he does. He's like an old man sometimes."

He nudged her. "Are you ready to dance with me, Sammy?" She smiled and nodded. He held her close and they started to sway. "Do you want to know what I wished for, Sammy?" He whispered in her ear.

She placed her head on his shoulder. "Yes, I do but you can't tell me."

He looked at her oddly. "Why can't I tell you? It's my birthday and it's my wish. Why can't I tell you?"

She smiled. "If you tell me, it won't come true." He nodded slowly. "You want your wish to come true, don't you?"

He nodded. "I want it to come true more than anything."

Her smile grew. "I want all of your wishes to come true, Sirius." He smiled. "If you want it to come true then you can't tell anyone. It will come true when the time is right."

His cheek nuzzled hers. "I wish the time was now." He muttered. He kissed her forehead. "But I guess I'll just have to wait."

She stared at him closely. "What did you wish for exactly, Sirius?"

He winked at her. "Now, that would be telling." He spun her around and dipped her. She laughed. He rubbed her back. "This is nice." He muttered,

She nodded. "Yes, it is." He smiled. She caressed his cheek. "I want to tell you something." He nodded slowly. "I know I can be stubborn…" He nodded. She laughed. "Thank you for agreeing." He smiled and shrugged. "But I do forgive you for what happened earlier in the school year. I forgive you for what happened."

He beamed at her. "You do?" She nodded. "Thank you. I've wanted you to say that to me since it happened."

She smiled. "I know. I thought I should let you know since it's your birthday."

He laughed. "I appreciate that, Sammy. I really do."

She blushed. "I made you something for your birthday."

His smile grew. "You did?" She nodded. "You didn't have to do that."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Yes, I did! It's your birthday! Of course I had to do something besides dance with you and tell you we're still friends." He smiled and nodded. She pulled a small leather bound book out of her bag that she wore. He didn't notice her wearing it when they were under the cloak. She gave it to him with shaky hands. "It's not much so don't be too disappointed, ok?" He nodded quickly. "I hope you like it but its ok if you don't."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll love it." He stared at the cover and smiled. It had "My Family" across it. He opened it and laughed. There were pictures of Evelyn and Harold on the first few pages. They smiled and waved at him. He was in a few of the pictures with them. He recognized some of them from his first Christmas at their house. He turned the pages and he laughed again. The rest of the book was filled of pictures he took with James, Sam, and their friends at different times and stages. He had a warm smile on his face. "Sammy…what is this?"

She shrugged. "It's nothing really." He stared at her. She blushed again. "You always say you hate your family and that your friends mean everything to you." He nodded slowly. "So, I thought that…well, we are your family. Your friends are your family and I wanted to show you that." He stared at her in surprise. She hugged him tightly. "You have people that love you, Sirius. We love you no matter what." He closed his eyes and held her tightly to him. "Sometimes, it isn't the family you're born into that's your family. Sometimes, it's the family you make for yourself that turns out to be your true family." She smiled. "We do love you, Sirius. We all do."

He gulped. "Do…you mean that?" She nodded. "So, you are a part of my family?" She nodded again. He smiled. "I like that." She laughed. "I never knew I could have one person love me let alone all these people."

Her smile grew. "You do have a lot of people who love you, Sirius. You're easy to love." He smiled. "You just…you don't always make it easy because you can be difficult but you're still easy to love."

He caressed her cheek. "James loves me like a brother. Mum and Dad love me like a son." She nodded. "Do you love me?" Her head cocked to the side. "Do you still love me? Do you love me despite my flaws, Sammy?"

They hugged. "Yes, I do." His heart raced and he still didn't know why. "We're friends and we're family. Of course I still love you."

He smiled. "That's all I needed to know."

She smiled. "Do you like it?" He nodded. "Do you really?"

He laughed. "I love it, Sammy! It's one…it _is_ the best gift I've ever gotten."

She smiled again. "That means a lot to me. Hearing you say that…means a lot."

He kissed her cheek. "That's all I needed to know."

They stared at each other closely. They jumped apart when they heard James' voice. "What's going on?" They froze. "What's going on?"

Sirius shook his head quickly. "N-Nothing is going on, mate. We…Sam and I…we were just talking."

Sam smiled. "That's right, James. We were just talking."

James shook his head. "No…what's going on?" They looked at each other in confusion and shrugged. "Why are the fireflies flying in and out of my bum?" He mumbled. They leaned against each other as they shook with held in laughter. Sirius laughed into her neck. Sam laughed into his shoulder. "It's uncomfortable. I wish they'd stop." He mumbled before snoring again.

He laughed. "I…I…have no idea what just happened here."

She giggled. "He talks in his sleep sometimes and some of the things that he says…Merlin himself would never understand."

He smiled. "I see that." She shrugged. "Do you want to continue our dance?"

She shook her head. "No, I…I don't think we should." His eyebrow rose. She shrugged again. "It's getting late and we should get James to bed. He might say some more embarrassing things."

He nodded. "You're right." They woke James and held him up. He leaned against Sirius and fell back to sleep. "Sam?" She glanced at him. "If we didn't have to take James to bed, would you have continued our dance?"

She sighed. "I…" James snored. She laughed. "Let's get him to bed."

He smiled. "Let's go." They made their way back to the common room undetected. He smiled at her. "Thank you, Sammy." She looked at him oddly. He shrugged. "Thank you for my present, for our dance, and…for still caring about me despite my flaws."

She smiled. "Anytime, Sirius." His smile grew. She kissed his cheek. "Happy Birthday. I hope your wish comes true."

He stared at her closely. "It will." She nodded slowly. "It's just like you said. It will come true when the time is right." She smiled. "It will come true…one day."

She nodded. "I hope it does." He smiled. "Goodnight." He nodded. "And, happy birthday again, Sirius."

He beamed. "Thank you, Sammy." He watched her run up the stairs. He shifted James around on his shoulder. James muttered. He looked at him oddly. "What did you say, Prongs?"

He yawned. "Padfoot, be careful." His eyebrow rose. James took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He gulped when James stared at him. "You promised her."

His head cocked to the side. "What are you talking about?"

He gave him a look. "Don't ruin their relationship again." He blinked. "You promised her you wouldn't get between them again. Don't ruin what they have." He opened his mouth to speak but he stopped him. "You're in love with her."

His eyes widened as he choked. "I'm what?" He smiled. He shook his head. "I am not!"

He smirked. "I've been awake since…the end of your dance." His mouth went dry. "You were going to kiss her." He shook his head again. "I had to stop you."

He let out a nervous laugh. "I…we…no, you're wrong!" His eyebrow rose. "I think I would know if I was in love with someone, Prongs!" He smirked again. "I do love Sam. I love her like a sister. That's all."

He nodded slowly. "I believe you." He smiled in relief. "Just keep your word. Keep your promise to them and don't get between their relationship again or they won't forgive you."

He sighed and nodded. "I'll keep my promise."

He patted him on the back. "I'm glad to hear it." He shrugged. "Goodnight." He stared at him. "Happy Birthday, Padfoot."

He gave him a weak smile. "Thanks a lot, Prongs."

Andrew blinked. "James knew?" He nodded and shrugged. "James knew about your tradition with her and that you were in love with her?"

Sirius smiled. "He knew about the tradition." He nodded. "He knew I was in love with her before I did. He knew all along. I just never realized."

He stared at him. "But you did realize it eventually." He nodded slowly. "Tell me about when you really realized you were in love with her."

He stretched his back. "Well, things went back to normal after that night. James dropped the subject of me being in love with her and went back to chasing Lily even though she wasn't interested." He laughed and nodded. "Sam and Remus were attached at the hip and it made me feel…itchy." He laughed again. "I was convinced James bought out the entire stock of itching powder and dumped it into my trunk." He laughed. "We were all friends again. We were hanging out and things were back to normal. James hexed Snape to show off and then, he kept doing it to defend Lily's honor. She got pissed and threatened us. James didn't understand why she was defending Snape and it bothered him. Sam found out what happened and got pissed at us. She defended him too. She got over it and things were fine. Exams were over and it was the last week of school."

He nodded. "That's all very interesting but get to point where you realized you were in love with her."

He laughed. "I was just getting to that!"

He nodded quickly. "Well, keep going then."

They were by the lake hanging out and cooling themselves off. Remus pulled Sam to him and they laughed before kissing. James sneered. "Moony, do you mind not groping my little sister in front of me?" They laughed. Alice and Sam pulled Remus to the lake and splashed him. He laughed as he tackled Sam into the water. He grumbled. "I'd tell them to get a room but I know they've already done that."

Sirius laughed. "It's not like they are shagging on your lap, mate!" James shrugged. "Evans is over there with the annoyance and Kevin. Why don't you join them?" James beamed at him. His face darkened when he saw Remus kiss his sister again. He rolled his eyes. "James, stop staring at them and go stalk Evans! Yes, they've had sex but you will never see them do that! You'll never walk in on them! Forget about them kissing and go to Evans!"

He nodded. "You're right, Padfoot! Thanks for the advice!"

He rolled his eyes as he watched him run over to Lily. "He is too easy sometimes." He muttered. He observed his friends. Alice and Frank were acting like love sick puppies. Kevin, Mary, and Patty were laughing together about something he knew he could careless about. James, Lily, and Lilac were deep in conversation. Actually, Lilac was talking Lily's ear off while Lily pretended to listen. She was too busy trying to ignore James who was trying to show off again. Peter sat near them but no one paid him any attention. His eyes settled on Sam and Remus. They were drenched from head-to-toe. They were talking quietly and stole the occasional kiss. Sirius shifted uncomfortably. He was starting to feel itchy again. They were staring at each other like they were the only ones in existence. Remus held her to him as tight as he could and she looked like she was in heaven. They kissed slowly. Their arms were wrapped around each other tightly that not even a beam of sunlight could shine through. He took small steps towards them. He didn't realize he was even moving. He was too focused on watching her. Remus picked her up and she was laughing. A warmth spread throughout his body when he heard that. He felt his heart racing and he didn't understand why. He stopped moving and closed his eyes. He felt the breeze run across him and he just enjoyed hearing her laugh with glee. His eyes flew open when her laugh stopped. He gulped when he saw them kissing like their life depended upon it. He held in a laugh when James started yelling at them to stop. Sam rolled her eyes and kissed Remus just to annoy James further. Remus was blushing like an idiot and he felt a surge of hate towards his friend. He didn't understand why he felt that way but he knew he hated seeing them like that. A white hot rage coursed through his veins when he heard them tell each other how much they loved each other. He was half a stone's throw away from them. He didn't remember getting that close. Their foreheads were resting against each other. They looked so happy and in love. It was making him sick. James started begging them to stop. He knew this was it. This was the moment to get her away from him. He didn't know why he had to get her away from him but he knew he had to. He grabbed her hand and smiled. "Come on, Sammy. Give your brother a break." She laughed. He threw her over his shoulder. "Does this make you feel better, Prongs?"

His eyebrow rose. "Not particularly." He muttered. "But as long as they aren't snogging, I'm happy."

Sam laughed. "Sirius, let me down!" He shook his head. He was enjoying having her this close to him to stop. "Please, let me down!"

Remus laughed. "Padfoot, let her down!"

He smirked as he set her down. "Is that better?" She nodded. He tackled her to the ground and laid on top of her. "How do you like this?"

She groaned. "I was not expecting that." He laughed. She squirmed. "Would you get off already?" He smirked as his eyebrow rose. She gave him a look. "Get off of me, git!"

He laughed. "I could." She smiled. He started tickling her. "But I would rather do this!" She howled with laughter. She squirmed and started swatting at his hands. "You know you like it, Sammy!" He was smiling and laughing like an idiot as he watched her laugh. Her eyes were shut tight. He stared at her closely. He saw her cheeks turning red and she laughed so loud. He stopped moving as he took the sight of her in. His heart was beating against his chest so hard and loud that he was surprised no one heard it. He was starting to sweat. His mouth was dry. It finally made sense when her eyes opened. He finally understood why he was feeling different around her lately. He understood why his palms sweat, his heart races, he feels lightheaded, enjoys her being close to him, and why he always felt hate, rage, and itchiness whenever she was with Remus. She was still laughing as her eyes opened slowly. His eyes were fixated on her. She gave him a smile and he gulped. He knew it. They were right. They've been right all along and he was too stupid to realize it until now. He let out a shaky breath. He couldn't feel his fingers. He heard his heart pounding in his ears. She looked up at him in confusion. He felt dizzy. It had to be true but it couldn't be. She was dating one of his best friends. She was in love with Remus and she was one of his best friends too. She was like his sister. He wasn't expecting this. He didn't want this. He didn't understand. This wasn't supposed to happen. They had been saying for years that it was true but he always denied it. Now, he couldn't even deny it. He was sweating. It was true. It was right. It…couldn't have come at a worse time. The truth had bad timing. The timing was cruel. He gave her a weak smile. He felt the truth run through him and he felt a sense of relief after his panic attack finally ended. He felt light and happy. It was a happiness he never remembered experiencing before. She was staring at him oddly. He licked his lips. "I…"

Her head cocked to the side. "Are you ok, Sirius?"

He had a doofy smile on his face when she said his name. "I'm fine."

She nodded. "Ok, that's good." He stared at her. "You can get off of me now."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "What…?" He let out a nervous laugh when he realized he was still on top of her. "Oh…right." He laughed again.

He laughed as he pushed him off of her. "Do you mind not lying on my girlfriend?"

She beamed at Remus when they hugged. Sirius sighed in defeat. "You're my hero!" They kissed. "Thank you so much for rescuing me from Sirius and his tickling."

His eyebrow rose. "Is that right?" She nodded slowly. He grabbed her and started tickling her. She was gasping for air. He laughed. They held onto each other tightly. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

He closed his eyes and pretended she was saying it to him. His eyes flew open and he choked before he started coughing. James patted him on the back. "Are you alright, mate?" He nodded slowly. "Why were you choking?"

He blinked. The others, minus Lily, Remus, and Sam, had gone. They stared at him closely. "I…uh…I…" He couldn't say it. He still couldn't believe it was true. "I…swallowed a bug."

Lily laughed. "That's disgusting." He shrugged. "But are you ok now?"

He nodded. "I'll be fine."

Sam smiled at him. "Are you sure?" He nodded quickly. She stared at him oddly when he stood up so fast that he stumbled. "Sirius, what's wrong?"

Remus eyed him closely. "Mate, you're pale. Are you sure you just swallowed a bug?" He nodded. "You look sick."

James nodded. "Moony's right. You don't look too good."

She stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do you feel sick?" He pulled away from her as if her touch burnt him in some way. She blinked in surprise. "What's wrong?" He moved away from her. "I…I was just trying to help you."

Sirius nodded. "I-I know. I-I'm just…out of it, I guess." She nodded. "Don't worry about me." She smiled. "You can go back to Moony now." She stared at him for a moment before walking back to Remus. He sighed when they hugged. He felt sick when they all started playing in the water again. Remus grabbed Sam, his Sammy, and they fell back into the water. Lily and James exclaimed in surprise. He rubbed his eyes. "This can't be real." He shook his head. "I must be going crazy." He smiled when he heard her laugh. He gulped. "This is not good." He muttered.

Andrew smiled. "That was interesting." He didn't answer. "So, you had a panic attack when you realized you were in love with her?" He was staring at the ground. "Sirius?" He stared at him as he stared at the ground. Sirius wasn't paying any attention. He was too lost in his memories. "Sirius, are you still with me?"

Sirius walked into his dorm. He needed to get away from them. He needed to get away from her and clear his head. They were still at the lake playing around but he needed time to himself. He needed to think. Feelings were jumbled inside of him and it felt like he couldn't breathe. He kicked his now packed trunk. That didn't do anything for him except hurt his toe. He hopped on his one foot and he stumbled to his bed. He ran his hands through his hair and he sighed. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. He had to be imagining it. He smiled. He just imagined it. Those crazy thoughts and feelings were just that, crazy.

He jumped off of his bed and let out a loud laugh. He felt relieved. He was just going crazy! He wasn't in love with her! He was just insane! He knew it was only a matter of time before he became a complete nutter and it was, obviously, happening sooner than he thought. He looked out the window with the widest smile and he could see his friends still playing in the water. His smile faded when he saw how close Remus and Sam were to each other. They were just holding each other and talking softly. At least, that was the way it appeared to him. He sighed. He sat back down on his bed. He saw the photo album she gave him for his birthday on his night stand. For some reason, unbeknownst to him, he spent every night glancing at each of the pictures since she gave it to him. It was opened to a picture of him with her last Christmas. It was a few days before Remus arrived and they had spent every waking moment together with James. They were dancing and James took their picture. They were happy in that moment. They were just enjoying their time together. They smiled and waved. He kissed her cheek and she laughed and rolled her eyes. He slid down to the floor and leaned his back against the bed. He touched her picture with gentle fingers. He noticed that in every photograph she was in, she was always smiling and laughing. She could always find the humor in situations that weren't even remotely funny. She had this silly smile she would get when she was lost in one of her day dreams. He once watched her for a good hour while she day dreamed. She had three different smiles that she went through during that day dream and she didn't even realize it. The tip of her nose would crinkle when she would giggle. She bit her lip when she was nervous, scared, shy, or she didn't know what to say. She could read books for hours upon hours. She had times when she would talk his ear off and she had times where she was silent. She was usually lost in her own little world. He noticed that when she was upset, she would get really quiet and stare at the ground. When she was happy, she would smile and try to make the others around her smile as well. He groaned. He couldn't believe he noticed all of that before. "It must mean…" He shook his head. "Moony and James must know all that too." He muttered. She would pace when she was nervous or upset too. She would stare at the night sky for hours, even if it's not her birthday, and make a wish on the first star she saw. She used to sleep with a teddy bear named Mr. Snuggles but hid it in a secret place when James threatened his safety. She tugged and twirled the end of her ponytail when she was anxious. He blinked. "If…how did I notice all that but not realize I…?" He mumbled.

He jumped when he heard her laugh. He looked around but she wasn't in the room. He sat on his knees and looked out the window again. She was still outside with the others but she wasn't making a noise. He saw the others laughing but she was staring off into space. He couldn't hear them laughing and he couldn't see her face fully but he could imagine the silly smile on her face. He always wondered what she was thinking about but she wouldn't tell anyone including Lily. She always said it was an unobtainable dream that became obtainable in some form or another. They never understood what she meant and she always looked a little guilty whenever she looked at Remus but he never noticed. He sat back on the floor again and sighed. He closed his eyes and heard her laugh fill his ears. He saw her smiling face and his heart raced. He kept hearing her laugh. He couldn't get rid of the sound. He groaned again. "Please…for all that is holy and precious in this world…for the love of Merlin, please, let it be a brain tumor." He rubbed his eyes. "Let it be a brain tumor!"

Sirius eyed her picture closely. "What did you do to me, Sammy?" He whispered. "Did you slip me a love potion? Did you hex me in some way I never heard about before?" His head cocked to the side. "What did you do to me? I was fine before but now, I don't know what's going on." He sighed. "She either did something to me or gave me a love potion." His eyebrows furrowed together. "It could be a brain tumor. That would explain why I can hear her laughing." He sighed again. "I hope it's a brain tumor. I never wanted one so bad in my life before but I want one now."

He leaned his head back and gazed at the ceiling. He knew it wasn't a love potion, or a hex. He knew it wasn't a brain tumor. He felt it in every fiber of his being. He felt it in his heart, mind, and soul. He felt it in his blood. He was in love with Sam. He was madly, deeply, and stupidly in love with Sam. He let out a pitiful groan. "How did this happen? How could this happen? She's in love with my bloody best friend!" He kicked the wall. "I really want a brain tumor right now!" He stared at the photograph of them together. It was one of many. This one was from last summer. It was before he knew they were sleeping together again. It was before he hurt them. It was when she still trusted him wholeheartedly. They were in her backyard with James, and Remus. They had just finished a game of Quidditch. Sam insisted to be on Remus' team and Remus was thrilled even though he couldn't play the game to save his life. He was still delightedly surprised that she chose him. She chose him to be with him for as long as possible. Sirius looked away in disgust. He couldn't think about them being _so_ in love with each other. It was starting to make him sick to his stomach.

He had a pained look on his face when he saw a picture of Remus and Sam smiling at him. He couldn't understand why this was happening. Why did it have to happen? Why did he have to realize it then? Why couldn't this epiphany wait to pop up well after they broke up? He caused them enough pain. He had been the reason why their love and their relationship were tested in the first place. He was the reason why the innocence of their relationship was lost. He didn't want to hurt them again. He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes, which he caused, again. He didn't want her to be a shell again because of his selfishness. He hated seeing her in pain. He hated seeing her upset. He hated being the cause of that. "Am I in love with her or am I just being a fool? How do I know this is real?" His eyes closed again and all he could see was her. All he could imagine was her and that silly smile she gets when the tip of her nose crinkles. He had a doofy smile on his face and his heart raced. He sighed. "I'm really in love with her." He whispered to the empty room.

He stood up and set down the album. He started to pace when he began to get anxious. He couldn't sit still. He felt like he was jumping out of his skin but at the same time, he felt a calm he never experienced before wash over him. He thought of every moment they spent together. He remembered all of the good and bad times. He had a smile on his face. It didn't matter what they went through. All that mattered was that they stayed connected to each other. They had always been close and that would never stop. They always had a bond and he knew it could never be broken. He scratched his head and let out a tiny laugh. Acceptance washed over him. He was in love with his best friend's little sister and his other best friend's girlfriend. He froze on the spot. He didn't know what to do. Now, he knew he was in love. He was truly in love with her but she was someone else's girlfriend. Remus was in love with her but he couldn't love her the way Sirius loved her. He could feel her. He could sense her even though she was still outside with the others. He didn't know what to do. "I love her but…"

Sirius shook her head. "I promised James. I promised Remus. I promised Sam." He looked down at the ground in defeat. "I promised them but…I have to do something. I'm in love with her but…she's with Remus. I promised not to mess anything up between them again. What the hell am I going to do?" He let out a pitiful groan. "This is so not good." He sighed. He stared at her picture intently and he sighed again. "Why did this have to happen now, Sammy?" She just smiled and waved at him. "Why couldn't I realize this before you started going out with my best friend? Why couldn't I wait and realize it after the two of you broke up?" He had a small smile on his face. "I know you won't last forever with him. I know he doesn't love you like I do. I may have just realized it but I know that I'll always love you more." His eyes widened. "What am I saying? How could I possibly know that? I do know that I love her and that they won't last but how do I know I love her more?" He groaned. "I can't believe this is happening to me! Why did this have to happen now?"

"What's happened?"

He jumped. His eyes widened when he saw her standing in the doorway. Sam smiled with curiosity. He held in a groan. Her clothes were drenched and stuck to her as if they were glues to her body. Her hair was dripping with water and it made its way down her curling tendrils to her bare arms. She was shivering. "How…how long have you been standing there?" She looked at him in surprise and shrugged. He nodded as he closed the album and put it on his nightstand. "What are you doing here? Why did you…why aren't you with the others having fun?"

Sam took slow steps toward him and he gulped as she came closer to him. "I wanted to see if you were ok." He smiled. "Are you…ok?" He nodded slowly. She smiled. He felt warm inside. "I'm happy to hear it." He let out a tiny laugh. His smile grew when she sat on the floor next to him. She stared at him. "I was also sent to see if you would come back and join us." His eyebrow rose. She shrugged again. "James told me to come get you." Her eyebrows furrowed together. "He insisted that I be the one to check on you actually. It's quite weird if you think about it."

He rolled his eyes. "_James, you're such a ponce._" He smiled. "You know how weird he can get." She nodded eagerly. He licked his lips. She was shaking like a leaf against him. "Are you cold?" She nodded and shrugged. He took a deep breath and put his arm around her. "I'll…um…I'll warm you up." She shook her head. "What's wrong? I don't mind doing it."

She smiled. "I'm all wet." He nodded slowly. "I don't want to get you wet too."

He smiled. "I don't mind at all." She nodded. His smile grew when he held her to him. He wanted to jump with joy when she rested her head on his shoulder. She snuggled into him. "Does…does that feel better, Sammy?" He whispered. She sighed in content and nodded. He closed his eyes when she curled up against him. They sat in silence for a moment before he spoke again. "You…you…"

She stared at him. "What were you doing before I interrupted?" He looked away from her. She touched his cheek. He leaned into her touch. "Sirius, we're…we're friends, right?" He nodded. "You can tell me anything and you know I won't judge you at all." He smiled. "What were you doing?"

He gulped. "I was looking at you." He muttered. She looked at him in surprise. He blushed. "I mean…I was looking at the album you made for me." She smiled. "I was just staring at this one photograph of us dancing last Christmas and I was just looking at you." Her head cocked to the side. He shrugged. "You always smile and laugh when you have your picture taken…with me."

She let out a tiny laugh. "You make me happy." He stared at her in surprise. She shrugged. "You're my friend and being around you…it makes me happy."

He licked his lips and kissed her forehead. "You make me happy too." She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "I lo…" He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Sirius…?" He gulped. She smiled. "I love you too."

He blinked. "You do?"

She nodded. "Of course I do." He smiled. They hugged tightly. "You're one of my best friends. Of course I love you."

He sighed in defeat. "That's…that's all I needed to know."

She grabbed his hand. "Do you want to go back outside?" He wouldn't look at her as he nodded. She beamed. "Let's go!" They stood up. "Remus must be wondering what happened to me. I'd hate to worry him."

He glanced out the window and saw Hannah talking to him. "I don't know about that." He muttered. She looked at where he was staring and she gasped. He looked at her. "Sammy…" Tears filled her eyes. He held her face in his hands. "It doesn't mean anything." Her chin trembled. "It still bothers you. It still upsets you about what he pretended to do with her, doesn't it?" She nodded against his chest. He held her tightly. "It's going to be ok."

She wiped her eyes. "Thank you." He nodded. "We…we should get down there. I…I need to hex her." He laughed. "And, I need to remind him that I'm his girlfriend and I also have an itchy trigger finger when it comes to my wand. I might _accidentally_ hex his balls off."

He smirked. "You're a scary woman, Sammy." She smiled. He put his arm around her and laughed. "If you want, I'll help you make him jealous."

She beamed. "Would you really help me?" He nodded. She hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Sirius. You're the best guy I know." He laughed and nodded. "I'll love you forever for this!"

He closed his eyes as he held her. "I'll love you forever too, Sammy. I'll love you forever too."

Andrew stared at him. "Sirius?" He stared at him. "Are you ok?" He shrugged. "Where did you go just now?"

Sirius sighed. "You heard." He nodded slowly. "I…I realized I was in love with her but I couldn't be with her. I was her go-to boy to make Moony jealous that day because Hannah got too close to him." He nodded. He stared at him. "It tore me up inside. I had so many chances to be with her but it wasn't until she was with someone else that I realized I was in love with her. I couldn't do anything but let her be happy with him. I was miserable but if I wanted to be happy then I'd have to hurt her and him. I couldn't do that again."

He nodded. "Sometimes, great love calls for great sacrifice."

He glared at the ground. "All I've done is sacrificed! When is it going to be my time to be happy with her? When will it be our time to be happy?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Only you can answer that. Only you will know when that time is upon you."

He scowled. "I want that time to be now! I want it to be our time now!"

He sighed. "I know that but you can't always get what you want, Sirius."

He scoffed. "Believe me, I know."

He smiled. "Let's not focus on all of that." He gave him a look. He shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, Sirius."

He gulped. "I want someone to tell me that it's all going to be ok. I want someone to tell that…all the shit we went through and are going through…I want someone to tell that it's all worth it. The mistakes we've made, are making, and will make…it's all worth it in the end." Andrew stared at him. He stared at the ground. "I want _her_ to tell me it was worth it. I want _her_ to tell me that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and all this shit we're going through is worth it." He glanced at him. "That's what I want someone to tell me. I don't want you or anyone else to tell me. I want _her_ to tell me that."

He sighed. "I can't tell you that she will say that to you. I can't make her say it." He nodded slowly. "But if she didn't have that dream…if she didn't see a world without her in it where you would be happy then…I don't know. She might have said to hell with it and came back to you but we'll never know it. She saw a world where she didn't exist and you were happy."

He shook his head. "I don't believe it." His eyebrow rose. "She must have gotten it wrong." He nodded slowly. "There's no way I could be happy without her."

His eyebrow rose. "Why do you think that?"

He shrugged. "I just know." He gave him a look. He sighed. "I know what it's like not to know her and I know what it's like to know her." He shifted in his seat. "My life before I met her…it was empty. I had parents who hated me. My whole family…they are worthless pureblood trash. I didn't have a life…I didn't have a happy life." He nodded slowly. "When I…then, at eleven years old, my life became better. It was full and complete. Not only did I meet the best mates any kid could ask for, I also met the only girl who made me feel an ounce of…anything really." He smiled. "I know what it's like to be without her. I know what it's like not to know her…and I'm not a fan of it at all. If she did see that world without her and I was happy…if there is such a world then I don't want to know it. I don't think I was truly happy. I think I was faking it or going through the motions because I didn't know any better. The only true happiness I've ever known has been with her."

Andrew's head cocked to the side. "Are you sure about that?" He eyed him closely. "What I mean is…can you honestly know that what you say is true? All the problems, pain, and drama, can you honestly say that she _truly_ makes you happy?"

Sirius didn't need to think about it. He beamed at him. "Yes, I can." He laughed and nodded in response. "I can honestly say that she truly makes me happy despite all of our problems."

He smiled. "That's good to know." He shrugged. "Tell me one more memory before our time is up."

He nodded. "If that's what you want."

He smiled. "I do."

He shrugged. "Well, we went home after my…epiphany. Lily and James fought about the Snape incident. Sam and Remus were all over each other because they wouldn't see each other for _two whole weeks_." He rolled his eyes. He laughed. "I only had to spend a week with the people I was related to by blood." He nodded. "We spent all our time together. We played Quidditch, we went for walks, and we just had fun. It changed when Remus came though."

"How did it change?"

"We stopped spending time alone. She would focus all her attention on him. I would try and talk to her. She would nod and smile before turning back to him."

"That must have been frustrating for you."

"It was! It really was! I was so used to girls, especially Sam, hanging on my every word. She didn't do that anymore. I was so nervous around her after I finally accepted being in love with her. When she would ignore me, it killed me."

He smiled. "I'm sure it did."

He sighed. "I didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to her but she never seemed to have any time for me anymore. All she wanted to do was talk to Remus." He shifted uncomfortably. "I figured out a way to talk to her without anyone interrupting us. She used to do it with me. I thought it might work and it did."

Andrew eyed him closely. "What worked? How were you able to talk to her without any interruptions?"

Sirius closed the door behind him with care. He took a deep breath as he crept over to the bed. He kneeled down on the floor and watched her. Sam's tank top rested on her stomach and the sheet was twisted around her legs. Her hair was splashed across her pillow in every direction. He smiled as he wiped the hair off her face. She sighed in her sleep. "Sammy?" He whispered. He waved his hand in her face and did everything else he could think of to make sure she was asleep. He remembered how easy it was for him to pretend to sleep when she would sneak into his room and he didn't want her to hear what he had to say just yet. She was still with his best friend and he just realized he was truly in love with her. He didn't want to take any chances by telling her too soon. He would tell her while she was asleep but telling her while she was awake was completely different. She sighed again. He licked his lips. "Sammy, I need to talk to you. This is the only way I could do it. I need to tell you something very important and I can only tell you now when you are asleep. I can only tell you this now because I'm scared to tell you this when you're awake. I know you'd be mad if you were awake. You'd be upset and reject me. I couldn't bare it if you rejected me." He took her hand in his and kissed it. "Sammy, I realized that…" He gulped. "I…why have you been ignoring me lately? Why don't you talk to me as much as you did before Remus came here?"

Sam shifted in her sleep. He blinked. "Sammy?" She muttered. He sighed in relief. "Are you mad at me? Do you not want to talk to me anymore?" He smiled. "That can't be it. You said you would always care about me. Even when you're mad at me, you still talk to me." He rubbed his eyes. "He's my best friend but…what makes him so special?" He stared at her. "What does he do that makes you want to be with him?" He sighed. "If I knew what he does, I'd do it." He let out a tiny laugh. "I never thought I'd be jealous of Moony but I am." He pushed her hair back. "What does he do that makes you love him so much?"

He smiled. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered. "I don't love you like a brother anymore. I don't think I ever really did." He kissed her forehead. "I'm…I'm in love with you, Sammy." His smile grew. "I'm really in love with you." He laughed lightly. "I know it sounds crazy but it's the truth. It was after final exams and we were by the lake when I realized it. I thought I was becoming a nutter but I wasn't. I was just in love…with you." He kissed her cheek. "I want to be with you and only you, Sammy. I just can't be with you because of Moony."

He sat next to her on the bed. "I don't know how long…I don't know how much longer you will be with him but I'm willing to wait for you." He smiled. "I bet you'd never thought I'd say something like that. Sirius Black choosing to be patient and waiting to be with a girl he wants." He stroked her hair. "But you're worth the wait for me. You are more than just some girl I fancy. You are the only girl that has made me feel like this. I don't even know what this is but I like it." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "I want to feel like this forever." He sighed. "I know I shouldn't say this but I wish you and Remus won't last too long. He is one of my best friends but you are the one I want. You are the only one I want to be with."

"What's going on?" She muttered.

He gulped. "Sammy?"

She yawned. "What are you doing in here?" He started to sweat. "If Daddy catches you in here, he'll kill you."

He nodded. "I know but I needed to talk to you."

She eased up. "What did you want to talk about?"

He leaned his back against the headboard when she patted the spot next to her. She put her head on his shoulder and he smiled as his heart raced. "I've been…" She stared at him. "I've been feeling different about you."

Her eyebrow rose. "Is it bad different or good different?"

He licked his lips. "It's good different." She nodded slowly. "I shouldn't be saying this to you. I know I shouldn't but I can't stop." She looked confused. "You are in love with one of my best friends."

She kissed him. He blinked. She smiled. "The only person I'm in love with is you."

His eyes widened. "Are…are you telling the truth?" She nodded. "But what about…?"

Sam put her finger to his lips to stop him from talking. "No one else matters but us. It's just you and me." He smiled slowly. "You're all I want."

Sirius beamed. "You're all I want too." She smiled again. He took a deep breath before leaning in. "I really want to kiss you right now." Her smile grew. "Can I kiss you?" She nodded. He kissed her briefly. "I want to do that again."

She laughed lightly. "You can kiss me whenever you want. You can always kiss me." She caressed his cheek. He leaned into her touch. "I'm your girl." He blinked. "I'll always be your girl."

He grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as their kiss deepened. He rolled on top of her and sucked on her neck. She moaned. He smiled at her. "I'm in love with you." He kissed her again. "I'm really in love with you, Sammy."

She smiled. "I know." He laughed. "I'm really in love with you too."

He rested his forehead on her chest and sighed in relief. "You aren't rejecting me." He muttered.

She looked at him oddly. "Why would I reject you?" He shrugged. "I'd never reject you, Baby." She kissed him. "I'm in love with you."

He stared at her. "Then why have you been ignoring me?"

Her head cocked to the side. "Have I been ignoring you?" He nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't think I was." He shrugged again. She held him close to her. "I promise I won't ignore you again."

He caressed her cheek and smiled. "It's ok, Sammy. Just as long as I know you don't hate me, we're fine."

She smiled. "I could never hate you."

His hands roamed her body as they kissed. He pushed her tank top up with one hand while the other gripped her hip tightly. Her shorts sagged down. "I want you. I want all of you." She smiled. "Can I have you?" She nodded. "Is it ok if I take off your shirt?"

She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "Yes, you can." Her nails grazed his back. She looked at him in confusion. "Where's your shirt?" His eyebrow rose. "You always wear a shirt to bed. Where is it?"

He nibbled on her neck. "I never wear a shirt to bed. You know that."

She nodded. "Yes, you do. You always wear a shirt to bed. Sirius is the one that never wears a shirt but you do."

He froze. "What did you say?" She blinked. He stared at her closely. "Sammy, who am I?"

She laughed. "You're the greatest boyfriend in the world."

He pulled away and sat on his knees. He sighed. She sat up. "Who am I? Tell me my name."

She smiled. "You are my loving boyfriend." He sighed again. She kissed him slowly. "You are Remus."

His heart dropped. "That's what I thought." He muttered. She smiled in confusion. He held her face in his hands and kissed her slowly. "I should go." She shook her head. "I have to. I think I hear someone in the hall. It might be your dad." Her eyes widened. "I should go just in case." He kissed her again. "Sweet dreams, Sammy."

She kissed him. "Sweet dreams to you too." He went to the door. "Remus?" He took a deep breath and stared at her. "I'm in love with you."

He sighed. "I'm in love with you too."

She smiled. "I love you. Goodnight."

He had a pained look on his face. "I love you too. Goodnight." He left.

Andrew had a sad look on his face. "That must have hurt." He shrugged. "I'm sorry."

Sirius shrugged again. "It's ok." He stared at him. "That night I learned something. That's when I first found out…that's when I knew."

He eyed him closely. "What did you learn? What did you find out? What did you know?"

He sighed as he rubbed his eyes. "I knew she could have conversations while she was asleep. I knew when she was in such a deep sleep that she could talk to me but she would think it was all a dream or not even remember it the next day. That's what I learned. That's what I found out and that's what I knew."


	84. Chapter 82: All We Are

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Author's Note: Still suffering from writer's block. Wish me luck. I didn't proof...don't have the time. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 82: All We Are.

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Kathleen gave her a look. "Sam, why do you…? Where did…?" She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "Sam, I know this is hard for you but this isn't the way." Sam stared at her. "Sirius loves you and you love him. Why are you going to torture yourself like this?"

Sam sighed. "It's for the best." Kathleen rolled her eyes. "Grandma, I…I love him more than anything in this world." She nodded slowly. "But there's been too much pain. I've hurt him and he's hurt me. There's no reason why we should continue."

"Yes, there is!"

"And, what's that?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're in love with him and he's in love with you!" Sam sighed. "Sammy, I don't want you to be hurt anymore and this decision will hurt you in the end." Sam opened her mouth to speak but she stopped her. "I know this because I know you. I was you." She held her hand. "If you let him go…if you let him go and let him find someone else, it will break your heart."

She sighed. "I know but…he would be happier with someone else." Kathleen shook her head. "You saw him. You saw how happy he looked if I wasn't born."

She nodded. "Yes, I did." She stared at her. "But that wasn't real. You and he together are real. That's the world you live in! The…fake world we just saw was just that, fake!" She held her face in her hands. "Sam, I'm sure you've heard this before but I think you need to hear it again. We…everyone has soul mates. We all have more than one. We just meet them at a time when we need them. Lily is your soul mate as a best friend." Sam smiled. "The two of you understand and love each other." She nodded. "Remus was a soul mate to you at the time. He still is but now, he is another friend that is a soul mate." She smiled in response. "Sirius…he is your soul mate through and through. You love each other no matter what. He means everything to you and he always has. You mean everything to him and you always have. Why would you give that up?"

She bit her lip. "I don't want him to be sad anymore. All I ever do is make him sad. He could find someone that could make him really happy."

She smiled. "No one can make him as happy as you do."

She sighed again. "Why can he touch me?" Her eyebrow rose. "Lily and Sirius can touch me. I'm fine for the most part. I've had some problems with being touched by them but they can still touch me."

She let out a tiny laugh. "They are your soul mates. You feel safe and comfortable around them."

Her head cocked to the side. "I feel safe and comfortable with Remus. Why can't he touch me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know really." She sighed. "It might be mental. You know for a fact that Lily won't hurt you and I think you want to believe that Sirius will never hurt you again so that helps. You just need to remember that Remus is harmless. He would never hurt you."

"Will I ever be able to touch and be touched again?"

"Yes, you will."

"Will I ever be able to say love again?"

"Yes, you will."

Sam nodded slowly. "I see." She looked at her. "Grandma, I…I love him." Kathleen smiled. "But I won't be around for much longer." Kathleen sighed and nodded. "What's the point of being with him now if I just have to leave?"

Kathleen gave her a sad smile. "It's so the two of you will be happy. You will die knowing you spent your remaining days with your soul mate and he will be able to live the rest of his life remembering the memories he made with you."

"Grandma, I don't want to die."

"I know, Baby. No one wants to die."

"I know it's for the greater good. I know it's to keep the ones I love safe but I'm scared. I'm scared to die."

"I know."

"I'm trying to accept my death but it's hard."

"You've only known about it for a few months. You'll accept it in time."

She sighed. "Ok, if you say so."

She laughed lightly. "Sam, it is going to be ok. Everything will be fine. It will hurt but it won't for long. I'll be there with you when it happens." Sam nodded again. "Let me give you some advice." She stared at her intently. "Make the time you have left count. If Sirius makes you happy then be with him. Make the time you have left the happiest time. Be with the one you love. Be with Sirius. He will need the memories after you are gone."

Kathleen's face faded away. Sam looked around and found herself in one of the many hallways at Hogwarts. She took cautious steps down the hall. She stopped short when she saw Sirius walking towards her. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. She watched him. He walked right past her. She blinked. "Sirius?"

He stretched his back. "Sam, where are you?"

Sam followed as she looked confused. "I'm right here, Sirius." He kept walking. "Why are you walking away from me?"

Sirius let out a tiny groan. "How long does it take to talk to Alan?" She was utterly confused. He sighed. "It's Valentine's Day and my wife is nowhere around." She stood next to him. "My best friend is proposing and my other best friends are…doing something." He groaned again. "Sammy, come on. Stop talking to Alan and come find me already."

She shook her head slowly. "What the hell is going on?"

"Black, what are you doing out by yourself? Where's your bodyguard?"

He rolled his eyes. "Shove off, dick! I don't have time for you!"

She looked around but couldn't see anyone. "Who is that? They sound so familiar."

"That was a humorous prank you played on us tonight."

He smirked. "Yes, it was! I'll never forget it!"

"You are going to pay for it, blood traitor!"

He laughed. "How will you make me pay, pure blood trash?"

"Like this!"

Her eyes widened in horror when she saw Sirius fall to the floor. She covered his body with hers but that didn't seem to work. The Cruciatus curse hit him. Sirius screamed in agony. He was twisting around in pain and all she could do was watch. A stream of fire shot out of nowhere and hit Sirius. His screams grew louder. His body was burning and he couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to do. The flames died down and she touched his arm. "Sirius?" He didn't answer. She gulped. "Sirius, answer me!" He didn't move. She started to shake him. "Sirius, wake up! Please, wake up!" She checked his pulse and she paled. "No…no, you can't be…" She started to cry. "Sirius, wake up! Wake up right now!" She cradled his lifeless body in her arms and rocked back and forth as she cried. "Baby, I need you to wake up." She whispered. "Somebody help!" She shrieked. "Somebody, please, help us! We need help!" She was hysterical. "You can't be dead. You just can't be." She caressed his cheek. "Don't be dead, Baby." She muttered. "I can't lose you like this." She whispered. "You can't leave me like this." She stared at his burnt face and her chin trembled. "I love you forever." She kissed his lips. She looked around and had trouble breathing. He was dead. Sirius was dead. He was murdered by a mysterious source and she didn't know what to do. "Somebody help him! Please, somebody help!"

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Sam woke up with a start. She looked around the library with frantic eyes. "Where is he?" She yelled. People shushed her. She had trouble breathing. She grabbed Lilac's hand as she was walking past. "Where is he?" Lilac looked at her like she was crazy. "Lilac, I need to know. Where is Sirius?"

Lilac shrugged. "I don't know." Sam looked terrified. "Sammy, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

She wiped the hair out of her eyes and took a deep breath. "I…I don't know."

Her eyebrow rose. "Tell me what's going on." Sam started to pack up her books. She stopped her. "What's wrong?"

She let out a shaky breath. "I was studying and fell asleep." She nodded slowly. "I had a dream about my grandmother. We were talking about my giving up Sirius." She nodded again. "Then, the dream changed. Sirius was walking down the hall. It was Valentine's Day and he was looking for me. He couldn't see me. Someone came up behind him. They said he had to pay for some prank he played on them. He…he didn't see bothered by their threats. This person started to torture him the same way I was tortured. He was burned to death." She blinked. She stared at Lilac with wide and teary eyes. "Lilac, he died in my arms."

She rubbed her arms and sighed. "Sam, it's ok. It was just a dream. He is fine. I'm sure he is fine. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything."

She shook her head. "No, Lilac, you don't understand." Lilac's head cocked to the side. "The dream…it was real." She blinked. "Ok, it wasn't real but it was." She looked confused. "It…uh…it felt real."

She smiled. "I'm sure it did but it was still just a dream."

Her chin trembled. "Lilac, he died in my arms. I can't let that happen."

"It won't happen."

"I need to see him. I need to make sure he is ok."

She sighed. "I understand." A tear slipped down Sam's cheek. "I think…the last place I saw him was in the common room. Everyone was hanging out there when I left to come here to study."

She let out a tiny cry. "Lilac, I can't let him die."

She gave a brief hug. "He isn't going to die, sweetie. He won't die for a very long time just like you and me." Sam paled. "I understand that this dream upset you. If you need to find him and make sure he is ok then go find him." Sam nodded. "But you need to calm down first. You are working yourself up over some nightmare. Sirius will be worried if he sees you so worked up. Calm down and find him."

She grabbed her bag and sighed. "Thank you, Lilac. I'll see you later."

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Sirius laughed and rolled his eyes at James. "You're such a git!" James laughed and shrugged. "I'll be right back. I have to ask Remus something." He nodded. Sirius walked over to the table where Remus and Mary were sitting. "How's it going?" They stared at him. He leaned against the table and smiled. "Remus, did we have any homework?" Remus rolled his eyes. "What?"

Remus laughed. "We always have homework, Padfoot." Sirius shrugged. "What's this sudden interest in your studies?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm still on probation. I can't miss any assignment. I just forgot to pay attention in…all of my classes today."

He smirked. "That doesn't surprise me."

He laughed. "You're hysterical." Remus nodded in response. "I was just-" They turned when they heard the portrait hole slam shut. "What the hell?" Sam ran into the common room and looked around the room. He blinked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "What's with her?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. She's your wife. Why don't you find out?"

He gave him a look. "I would but she doesn't want to speak to me."

He smiled. "Well, you should still ask. It might help."

He winked at him. "Thanks for the advice, Moony." Remus laughed and nodded. He stared at her. She looked terrified as she looked around the room. "Sam?" She didn't hear him. He cleared his throat. "Sam, are you ok?" She looked at him with wide eyes. He blinked when she ran over to him and hugged him as tight as possible. He looked at them in surprise. "I wasn't expecting this." They nodded eagerly. He hugged her. "Are you ok, Baby?" She buried her face into his chest and started to cry. His eyes widened. "What's wrong?" She tightened her hold on him. "Baby, what's going on? Why are you so upset?" He wiped her eyes. Her chin trembled. "Talk to me." She had trouble breathing. "Did something happen? Did someone try and touch you? Did Snape hurt you again? If he did, you need to tell me right now. I'll hex him if he hurt you again." She shook her head. "What's going on?"

Sam's eyes watered as she stared at him. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?" He stared at her oddly. "Sirius, I don't want you to…" He was utterly confused when she hugged him again and kept on crying. "I don't want you to die."

Sirius let out a tiny laugh. "I don't either." Her cries grew loud. "Baby, you are starting to worry me. Please, talk to me. What's going on?"

James walked over to them. "What's wrong?" He looked at her. "Sam, why are you crying?"

She had trouble breathing. "I don't want him to die, James."

He blinked. "Who is going to die?" He touched her arm. "Is it Dad?"

She shook her head. "No…Sirius." They looked confused. "Sirius, please, don't die."

He rubbed her back when she started to cry again. "I'm not going to die."

She stared at him. "But I saw you…"

His head cocked to the side. "You saw me what?" She bit her lip. "Did you have a vision?" He whispered. She nodded as she cried. "What did you see?"

She tightened her hold on him. "I saw you…die."

He gulped. "What did you…?" He blinked. "Sammy, are you sure about what you saw?" She nodded. He held her to him. "Let's go upstairs, Baby. I think we need to talk in private." She leaned against him and nodded. He looked at them. "I'll tell you what's going on later." They nodded. "Come on, Baby. Let's go." He guided her up to his room and sat her down on his bed. "Start from the beginning. Tell me everything."

She stood up and started to pace. "I…I fell asleep in the library. The dream started off with me talking with my grandma. We were talking about…it doesn't matter now."

He nodded slowly. "It's ok, Sam. Just tell me what you saw."

She sighed as her chin trembled. "You were in the hall. I was with you but you couldn't see me. You were looking for me. It was Valentine's Day." He sighed and nodded. "Someone came up to you. They said you have to pay for a prank you pulled. They tortured you the same way I was and then, they set you on fire." His eyes widened. "You died in my arms." She started to cry. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I…I…" She gulped. "Sirius, you can't die."

He rubbed her back. "Baby, I'm not going to die."

She stared at him. "I saw you die. You died in my arms, Sirius."

"Are you positive it was a vision? Couldn't it have been just a bad dream?"

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't a bad dream. It was a vision, Sirius."

He blinked. "I don't…I don't know what to say."

She held him closer. "You…you can't die. You can't leave me like that."

He closed his eyes and rubbed her back. "I'm not going anywhere, Sammy."

"But you died."

He smiled. "I'm not dead. I'm right here. I'm here with you right now."

She stared at him closely. "Please, don't die."

He caressed her cheek. "I'll die one day but I won't die anytime soon."

She nodded. "I know." He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to make sure of it."

His eyebrow rose. "How are you going to do that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't thought that part out yet."

He let out a tiny laugh. "What are you going to do? Are you going to follow me around at all times like a bodyguard?"

She smiled. "Yes, I am!"

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

She smiled again. "I'm going to have to spend time with you. I'm going to protect you."

He looked at her in amusement. "Sam, you can't do that." She looked confused. "Why would you want to do that?"

She caressed his cheek. "I don't want anything to happen to you. I have to protect you. I need to protect you."

He shook his head. "No, I won't let you." She blinked. "If your vision was right, I'll be tortured. I can't let you get hurt like that again."

She sighed. "I've had the Cruciatus curse performed on me before. I know how it feels. I can take it."

He sighed. "I can't let you go through that again. It would kill me if you did that to save me."

"It beats you being actually dead!"

"I'd rather be dead than have you tortured for me!"

"Sirius, I'm doing this no matter what you say! You can't die! I can protect you! You'll just have to deal with me spending a lot of time with you!"

Sirius thought for a moment and held in a smirk. He knew he shouldn't be using her vision to his advantage but he couldn't help it. Sam told him that she was giving up on their relationship. She wanted a separation when all he wanted was for her to come back to him. This vision of hers was perfect. No, he didn't want to die. He was against death. It sounded incredibly boring to him. This vision of hers was what he had been looking for. He wanted a reason to spend time with her so he could convince her to come back to him and to their marriage. This was the perfect opportunity for him to get her back but he had to make sure she was devoted to her idea of "protecting" him. He smirked. "You can't protect me." She looked confused. "You are just a girl." Her eyebrow rose. "How can a little girl scare off my attacker and protect me?"

Sam's eyes narrowed. "Are you kidding me?" He shook his head. She punched him in the shoulder. He groaned. "I can protect you and myself better than anyone and you know it!" He shrugged. She punched his shoulder again. He winced. "I've kicked your ass more times than I can count! I've kicked James' ass! I've kicked-!" He kissed her. She blinked. "What was that?" He rolled his eyes and kissed her again. She gave him a look. "I know what a kiss is, Sirius!" He nodded slowly. "What was that for?"

He shrugged again. "It was the only way to get you to shut up." She glared at him. He let out a nervous laugh. "Let me explain before you hit me again." She nodded slowly. He shook his head. "It's not good to be afraid of your wife." He muttered. She smiled. "I just…I know who you've beaten up." She nodded. He sighed. "I know you can take care of yourself. That's one of the many things I love about you." She smiled again. "I love that you don't need me or anyone else to beat the crap out of some guy that bothers you." He laughed. "Don't get me wrong. I enjoy doing that but if I did have to beat up everyone who bothered you in some way, I'd never get anything else accomplished." She laughed as she sat down next to him. He stared at her. "Sam, I love you and I do want to spend time with you but you said you wanted time apart."

She sighed. "I know I did."

"Are you changing your mind again?"

"No, I'm not." His eyebrow rose. She held his hand. "That came out wrong." He nodded. "I know we need time apart so we can get over the hurt we caused each other but I also don't want anything to happen to you. I couldn't bear it if I lost you like that." He squeezed her hand. She smiled at him. "I'd never forgive you if you died." He laughed and nodded. "I'd also never forgive myself if I let it happen when I could have prevented it."

He leaned back and smiled. "So, you've grown a strong attachment towards me, is that right?" She laughed and nodded. He winked at her. "I knew it. I'm just that sexy. You find me irresistible." She laughed and pushed his shoulder. He laughed. "It's ok, Baby. You were just weak to my charms. It's understandable."

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a git!"

He nodded. "Yes, I am." She smirked. "But you married me. Now, who's the git?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding. "I see your point." He rolled his eyes. "But you're still a git."

He shrugged. "I can live with that."

She stared at him. "Just as long as you live."

He made her lie down across the bed with him. He put his arms around her and sighed. "I'm not going to die." She leaned on her elbow and stared at him. He looked up at her and stroked her hair. He smiled. "I'll never leave you like that." She nodded slowly. "I promise you that I'll never leave you." She smiled. "But you can't protect me. You are just a girl."

She punched his side. He yelped. "Would you stop saying that? A girl can protect a boy just as much as a boy can protect a girl! You know it's true!"

He pushed her shoulder. "That's a myth!"

She glared at him. "You know I wasn't sure about doing this but now, I have no choice! I'm protecting you whether you like it or not! You don't get a say! We are going to spend every waking moment together so I can protect you! You will just have to learn to deal with it!"

He pulled her back down to him and sighed. "If you say so, Sammy." He kissed the top of her head. "There's no arguing with you when you have made up your mind. I'll just deal with it."

She curled up against him. "You just conned me." She muttered. He smiled. "You manipulated the hell out of me just now, didn't you?"

He laughed. "Yes, I did." She rolled her eyes. "And, you fell for it."

She let out a tiny laugh. "You're such a git and I'm an idiot." He laughed lightly. She looked at him. "I'm still going to do my best to protect you." He nodded. She put her arm around his waist. "You're a git. I'm an idiot. We're perfect for each other." He smiled and nodded. "It's too bad…" She yawned. "It's too bad we can't be together." He smirked. "We know how to keep things interesting."

He kissed her head and closed his eyes. "Yes, we do." He yawned. "You're an idiot." He mumbled.

She snuggled into him and smiled. "And, you're a git."

He held her to him tightly after they curled up against each other. "That's right." He yawned. "We're absolutely perfect for each other, Sammy." He kissed her head again. "You just have to realize that so we can be together." He mumbled. They fell asleep.

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Sirius smiled. He loved it. Sam walked with him to breakfast and sat next to him. She walked him to his classes and she let him hold her hand. He laughed when she held his books. He enjoyed the attention she was throwing at him but he knew she was losing her steam. There were no threats against him and she openly admitted that maybe she got it wrong. Maybe the dream was just a dream and not a vision as she thought originally. Maybe she didn't need to spend so much time with him for his protection. He told her that it was just the first day. A threat might be around every corner. She agreed but she didn't seem convinced. He knew he had to do something to keep her around. He just got the chance to woo her back and he wasn't going to lose it. He was going to take advantage of this situation like he never took advantage of anything before. He stood in the hallway and leaned against the wall. He knew Sam would be coming soon. He stared at Dan Martin, a seventh year Hufflepuff. Dan was his hope to keep Sam around but Dan was having second thoughts. "What's the problem? Don't you want to do this?" Dan shrugged. Sirius groaned. "What's the problem?"

Dan shrugged again. "I can't do this! Sam will kill me!" Sirius shifted uncomfortably. He knew this was true. "Plus, if I do this, how will I know you and your friends won't try and get me back?"

He smiled again. "I promise." Dan's eyebrow rose. "Dan, I swear, I won't get you back for this. I need you to do this. My friends and I won't try and attack you."

He sighed. "Why should I do this? You've never done anything bad to me."

He took a deep breath. "Is that all?" He nodded. "Well, don't worry about it."

He stared at him. "I don't know about this."

He gulped when he saw Sam walking towards them with her friends. "Do you need some motivation for this?" He nodded. He thought for a moment. "I…I…uh…I slept with your sister!"

He rolled his eyes. "She's six. If you did that, you need professionally help."

He nodded. "I see your point. You're right about that." Sam was getting closer. "I…uh…I slept with your girlfriend!"

His eyes widened. "You did what?" Sirius smiled. He hit a nerve. "You couldn't have! She's a virgin!" Sirius smirked and shook his head. "Margie would never do that!"

He laughed. "Yes, she would and yes, she did." His eyes narrowed. "We did it every chance we got! We even did it on your birthday!"

Dan growled and punched him. "You son of a bitch! You stay away from Margie!"

Sirius groaned and hit his head against the wall. He groaned again. "Fuck! That really hurt!" Dan smiled in triumph. He laughed. "That was perfect!"

He blinked. "What…?" He shook his head in confusion. "You lied about you and Margie? You never slept with her?"

He shrugged. "Of course I never did! I tried but she never let me!" Dan glared at him. "She's really attached to that whole waiting for marriage thing!" Dan punched him again. He smiled. "That was brilliant!"

He groaned. "Were you lying again?" He nodded. "You need to stop doing that!"

He bent down to help Sirius up but froze when a wand pressed into his cheek. His eyes widened. "Step away from him slowly or I'll hex your balls off!"

He gulped and took a step back. "Sam, it's not what you think."

Sam's narrowed eyes were glued to him as she helped Sirius up. "I know what I saw, Martin. You were attacking my husband and I'm going to make you pay in a very painful way." He gulped again. "Do you like cats?" He looked utterly confused. She sneered. "Because that's what I'm going to turn you into for hurting my husband."

He leaned against her. "Baby, calm down. Put your wand away." She glanced at him. "I deserved what Dan did to me. I deserved to be hit." She lowered her wand. Dan sighed in relief. "I deserved it…even though it really hurt." He pouted. She put her wand away and started to fuss over him. Dan rolled his eyes. "Sammy, I hit my head on the wall after Dan _attacked_ me."

She sighed. She stroked his cheek. "My poor baby, does it hurt really bad?" His bottom lip stuck out even more as he nodded. She hugged him tightly. "I'll take care of you, Baby." He had a small smile on his face. She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'll take care of you." She glared at him. "Did you have to hit him so hard?" Dan blinked. "He couldn't have done anything that bad that you needed to hurt him like that!" He stuttered. "I should just hex your balls off anyway! You'd deserve it!"

He shook his head. "Sammy, Baby, you don't need to hex him." She stared at him. "I appreciate that you want to protect me but everything is fine." Her eyebrow rose. "Dan and I are fine. He just needed to get out his anger and he did. We're square. Isn't that right, Dan?" He nodded slowly. He whimpered. "Can you, please, take me back to my room and take care of me? I'm starting to feel dizzy."

Her eyes widened. "Of course I will! I'm sorry! I'll take care of you, Baby! Let's go!"

He looked back at him when they walked down the hall. He smiled. Dan eyed him closely. "Thank you." He mouthed.

He nodded and shrugged. He rolled his eyes and sighed when they were gone. "They are both the biggest idiots I know." He muttered.

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Sam helped him into bed. She fluffed his pillow and tucked him in. He smiled in surprise. He wasn't expecting this. She sat down next to him and sighed. "Are you ok? Are you feeling any better?" He nodded slowly. She smiled. "I'm happy for that." She growled. "I could just kill him for hurting you! I'm going to make Dan Martin pay for this! He had no right to hurt you!"

Sirius held her hand and smiled. "You don't need to do that. I'm fine now. It's ok." She shook her head. "Sammy, I'm fine. You don't have to worry."

She sighed. "But I do worry about you. I don't like you getting hit."

He laughed. "You only like it when you are the one doing the hitting."

She buried her head in his chest and let out a tiny laugh. "That's true." He smiled. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

His eyebrow rose. "What are you sorry for?"

She looked at him. "I was thinking about changing my mind." He looked confused. "I was going to stop spending time with you. I was starting to think I didn't need to protect you." He nodded slowly. "But when I saw Dan attack you, I knew I was wrong. It made me realize that I was going back into my old patterns of being a flip flopper. That…you being hurt was my punishment for thinking like that."

He touched his cheek and winced. "No offense but the next time you get punished, could you make sure I'm not the one getting hurt?"

She pushed his shoulder and laughed. "Git."

He smiled. "Nag."

She kissed his cheek. "I promise to keep my promise. I won't stop spending time with you. I need you to be ok." He smiled again. "I won't stop until I know you are going to be ok."

His smile grew. "I like the sound of that." He kissed her. "If you really want to make sure I'm ok, you could fluff my pillows again."

She laughed. "Don't push your luck."

He shrugged and laughed. "I'll try not to. I had to give it a shot though." She nodded and smiled. "You know I did."

Her smile grew. "I know." She kissed him briefly. "It's part of your charm."

His eyebrow rose and he smirked. "Is that right?" She nodded. "That's good to know."

James walked in and his eyes widened. "What's going on?" Sam rolled her eyes. He stood next to them. "What happened to your eye? Who did that to you?"

Sam gave him a look. "Dan Martin did it."

He blinked. "Why the hell would he do that?" She shrugged. "Don't worry, Padfoot! We'll get him back for this!"

His eyes widened. "No, you can't do that! We don't have to get him back!"

He eyed him closely. "We don't?" He shook his head. "Why not?"

She shrugged. "Sirius doesn't want to get him back. He wouldn't even let me hex him."

His eyebrow rose. "Is that a fact?" She nodded. "Well, why did he hit you?"

He gave him a look. "It doesn't matter, Prongs. It's done and over with." James nodded. He smirked when he realized what Sirius was up to. He winked at him. Sirius held in a laugh. "Sam, I'm starting to feel dizzy again. Do you mind if I sleep?"

She nodded. "Of course you can, Baby."

He pouted. "Will you stay with me? I'd feel better if you did, Baby."

She smiled and stroked his hair. "Yes, I'll stay with you. Don't worry about anything. I'll take care of you."

He smiled and kissed her. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

He held in a laugh. "I'll leave you two alone." They nodded. "Feel better, Sirius." He nodded. He rolled his eyes. "Have a goodnight." He left.

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The sky was clear. The stars were bright as they have ever been. They were sitting on the ledge of the astronomy tower. They were facing each other. Sirius smiled at her. Sam was staring at the sky and had a far away look in her eye. "What is it?" She blinked and turned her head to look at him. His smile grew. "What are you thinking about?" She shrugged. He held her hand in his and kissed it. "I've always wondered what you think about when you look at the sky." She smiled. "Where do you go? What crosses your mind when you day dream?"

They stared at each other. Sam squeezed his hand. "Do you really want to know?" He nodded eagerly. Her smile grew. "You." He looked confused. "I…I used to always day dream about you." He smiled in surprise. "I did it even when I was with Remus but I always felt guilty about it afterwards." He nodded slowly. "I think and day dream about other things but it always came back to you."

Sirius smiled. "You shouldn't have felt guilty. We both knew you'd never cheat on Remus or anyone else for that matter." She shrugged. "Sam?" She looked at him. "What do you think about now? What were you thinking about?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know." He rolled his eyes. "Do you ever wake up and think about how your life turned out?" He looked confused. "Do you ever think about how we ended up?" He nodded slowly. "Did we do this to each other or were there outside forces that did this to us?"

He laughed. "It was both of those things. We did this to ourselves and we also had things and circumstances working against us. Other people also didn't help us out."

She nodded. "You're right." He winked at her. She laughed. "We're not so different."

"How did you figure that one out?"

"I day dream and you act out."

He laughed. "That's not how we are alike." He smiled. "You day dream. _I act out_."

She smiled. "I know the difference. I didn't mean we were alike like that."

His head cocked to the side. "Then how are we alike?"

Her smile grew. "We fight for what we believe in. We are loyal to the ones we care about. We would do anything to keep the ones we care about safe."

He nodded. "Yes, that is all true." He smiled. "Why did you mention my _tendency_ to act out and your day dreaming?"

She shrugged. "I was just stating our differences."

He smiled. "You act out too." She shrugged. "Sam, I've been in love with you since we met." She nodded slowly. "Did I ever tell you when that finally sunk in? Did I ever tell you when I truly believed that it was real?"

She nodded. "Yes, you did. You said it was when we were hanging out at the lake after final exams during your fifth year."

He rubbed his eyes. "That is true but I still thought I was a nutter."

She laughed. "You did not!" He nodded. "Why did you think that?"

He took her hand in his and they laid down on the blanket she brought. "I don't know really." She glanced at him. "A part of me always knew I was in love with you but I buried it deep down inside of me so no one would find out." She nodded slowly. "I…I just believed I was wrong. I thought I was confusing my feelings." She nodded. "After I realized what I was feeling was real, I left you all and came up to my room. Do you remember that?"

She nodded. "I do."

He smiled at her. "I came up to my room and tried to talk myself out of loving you." Her eyebrow rose. He laughed lightly. "I kept thinking about all the times we spent together. I thought about you. I was trying so hard to convince myself that I didn't love you but I ended up realizing the truth."

She laughed. "I'm confused."

He laughed. "I'm not explaining it right, am I?" She shrugged. "I…I thought about how well I knew you. I thought about how you tugged on your hair and how you bit your lip…like you are doing now." She blushed. "I thought about how you blushed too." Her blush grew. He laughed again. "Then you showed up in the middle of it all. You caught me realizing I was madly in love with you and you didn't even know it." She smiled. "I was so pissed off." Her eyebrow rose. He smiled. "The timing couldn't have been worse."

She stared at him. "What do you mean?"

They laid next to each other and had their arms underneath their heads. He stared at her as she went back to watching the sky. "The timing was unfair because…you were in love with Remus." She nodded. "I had already caused enough problems with your relationship and I didn't want to do that again. I didn't want to hurt you again." She looked at him. He shrugged. "You know what I mean." She nodded again. "I wished that I realized it sooner. If I did, we would have been together and you would have never been with Patrick or Remus. If I would have known how to be a better boyfriend than I was, you wouldn't have been with Remus again…or Snape." She looked away from him. "Sam, I know this may sound completely crazy but it took you going nutters and the…unfortunate heart break I caused you for me to realize how much I loved you." Her eyebrow rose. He smiled. "I know. It's crazy but it's the truth." She shrugged. He sighed. "Sam, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She sighed. "I know." She muttered. "Why are you sorry?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Are you really asking me that? Is that a serious question you're asking?" She nodded. She still wouldn't look at him and he was bothered by that. "Sam, I'm sorry because I hurt you. I'm…you are the only woman I've ever been in love with and I hurt you. I caused you pain. I broke your heart. I…I almost got you killed." He slid his hand over hers and squeezed it. "I know I've said this many times before but it needs to be said again. I'll keep saying it until you finally believe me." She looked at him. "I'm sorry I cheated on you with Sarah. I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain that you had to be sent away…twice."

She had a small smile on her face. "I would have been sent away eventually with or without your influence."

He sighed. "I don't know about that."

She licked her lips and smiled. "Do you really think it's all your fault?" He nodded. "Well, it's not." He looked at her. She shrugged. "Sirius, you've made the mistakes you did for whatever the reason. It was my choice to react the way I did. It was my choice to bottle things up and let them fester. You couldn't force me to accept anything. It was my choice. I chose wrong."

He smiled at her. "You're getting better at this maturity thing."

She laughed. "Thank you. I'm trying." He smiled. "I thought I was failing at it."

His eyebrow rose. "Why did you think that?" She shrugged. "Well, you are trying and that's more than what most people do." She shrugged again. "I can't be a judge of how mature someone is because I'm not mature at all."

She smiled. "You're a lot more mature than you give yourself credit for." He smiled in surprise. "You have moments of maturity."

He laughed. "Thank you." She shrugged. "Sam, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "What do you want?" She turned her head to look at him. "What do you want out of life?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "Is this a serious question?" He nodded. "What do I want out of life?" She laughed. "I guess I want a new life."

His eyes widened. "What?"

She patted his hand. "I'd still want all the same people around including you." He smiled. "But I'd want a different life."

"What do you mean by that?"

She sighed. "I don't know really." He stared at her. "I guess…ever since I got here, I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off." He smiled. "I was always in the middle of some drama. I was always running around. There was always a problem and I was always involved." She sighed. "That's why I like moments like this. I can just sit and be quiet. There is no drama when I sit in the quiet. I am no one to anyone. I'm just me. I can sit and just be."

He nodded slowly. "I see." She looked away from him. "So, in your different life, you'd be the quiet part of yourself?" She nodded. "What about the fight in you?"

She smiled. "I'd keep that part of me too. I just wouldn't be…I just wouldn't be in the thick of all the messes I've been in."

He nodded slowly. "That's understandable." He sighed. "What do you wish for?"

She shrugged. "I wish this year was over with already." His eyebrow rose. "It's just like I said. Ever since I came here, it has been constant drama. Everything coming at me. Most of it was my fault. I know that." He nodded. "A lot has happened to me while I've been here especially this year. This year has been the worst and I just want it to end, you know?" He gulped and nodded. "It will be nice once this year ends. I'm hoping next year…nothing happens." He laughed lightly. "I'm hoping that there will be no added pressure besides studying."

His head cocked to the side. "Do people put pressure on you?"

She sighed. "Sometimes, they do."

He took a deep breath. "Do I put added pressure on you?"

She squeezed his hand. "You do at times."

"I don't mean to."

"I know you don't."

"I do love you and want you back but I don't want to pressure you."

She nodded. "I know." She looked at him. "Most of the pressure came from me."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always tried to be what people wanted me to be. What I thought they wanted me to be. I put that pressure on myself. I'm trying really hard not to be like that anymore but it is a constant struggle for me. I'm still learning and trying to figure out who I really am. When I do that, I can just be me."

"Ok, if you figure out who the real you is and you can manage to be mature, what will you do? What would you want?"

"I'd want moments like this all the time. No drama. No issues. I'd just be me and be still."

Sirius smiled. "You'd be bored out of your mind." She laughed. "You need things to happen to keep things interesting."

Sam shrugged. "That's true." His smile grew. "Ok, I'll take a little drama but I'd like to be on the sidelines." He nodded. "What do you want?"

He kissed her hand. "I want whatever you want so you can be happy."

She laughed. "Why did you ask me all these questions? Why did you want to know all of that?"

He shrugged. "I want to get to know the new you better."

She scratched her head. "I'm still the same person, Sirius."

"No, you aren't."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "Do you promise not to take it the wrong way?" She nodded. "You don't seem the same. You seem…you still seem distant. You are becoming mature." She laughed lightly. "You are still the same but…you still seem distant."

She nodded. "I guess I am. That is true." He nodded slowly. "I don't know why though."

"Is it because of the attack?"

"It could be."

"Is it because of…your accident?"

She gulped. "It could be."

"Why are you still so distant?"

"I just feel that still. A lot has happened and I guess it has changed me."

"Is it my fault?"

"No, it isn't. It was just something that happened. Something inside me broke and I'm still trying to build everything back up. I'm trying to do that while adding new parts of me. I still don't know what parts I'm missing and it causes me to act distant. If I had all the parts, I'd be different. I'd be me. I'm still distant because I'm still figuring everything out."

"I'll still love you no matter who you turn out to be."

She smiled. "I know. I appreciate that."

He glanced at her. "Have I changed at all?" She nodded. "How have I changed?"

She shrugged as she watched the sky. "You're a lot more…mushy." He blinked. "Yes, you're mushy."

He looked confused. "What the hell?"

She laughed. "You are more open with me than you used to be. You share your feelings. You're affectionate. You are more affectionate than usual. You're…mushy."

He shook his head slowly. "I…I don't know how to respond to that."

She smiled at him. "It's a good thing." He nodded. "Before…you were so closed off. You would hide your feelings especially in public. Now, you don't care who is listening. You let everyone know how much you…care for me."

He let out a tiny laugh. "That's funny." Her eyebrow rose. "You used to do that and now, you don't. You used to not care about letting people know what's on your mind. Now, you…you are different. You're distant. I used to act distant with you in front of everyone and now, I let it all out." She smiled. "I guess we traded places."

She shrugged. "I guess so." They were silent as they watched the sky. "Mush." She muttered.

He smirked. "Ice queen."

She smiled again. "Ice queen?" He nodded. "What?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes, I need a sweater when I'm near you because you can be so cold."

She laughed. "I guess so."

Sirius smiled. "I really do like parts of the new you." She looked at him. "The old Sammy would have kicked my ass if I called her that."

Sam winked at him. "Who said I won't do that?" He laughed. "I won't." He nodded. "So, do you like the…new me?"

He nodded and shrugged. "I like parts of the new you." She nodded slowly. "I love certain parts of the new and old you." He said with a wink. She laughed. "I loved how the old you would just hug and kiss me like no tomorrow. I loved how the old you would tell me you loved me without hesitation." She sighed. "I love how the new you listens and thinks about things before reacting. I love how the new you doesn't always take what I say the wrong way."

"So…you like that I don't blow up at a simple joke?" He nodded. "But you still want me to hit you to show I care?" He nodded. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You make no sense."

He smiled. "It doesn't have to make sense."

She sighed. "Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Do you think I was released too early?"

He blinked. "I don't know really. Do you think that?"

She nodded. "Sometimes, I do." He sighed. "Do you want to know something that the old me would say? It's something you've said to me before." He nodded slowly. "I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."

He beamed. "Really?" She nodded. "That's just as good as you telling me you love me."

She smiled. "I'm glad to hear it."

Their hands brushed and they shared a smile. They stared at each other. "I think we're going to be alright, Sammy. I really think we are."

She closed her eyes and sighed in content. "I hope so, Sirius. I really hope so."


	85. Chapter 83: Flirting With Disaster

Author's Note: The song used is "When Will I Be Loved?" By Linda Ronstadt. Sorry for the uber long delay. Hope you enjoy the chapter. Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy!

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Chapter 83: Flirting With Disaster.

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They were in the common room with their friends after dinner. Sam was sitting on the arm of the chair Sirius was sitting in and smiled when he looked at her. He winked at her. She rolled her eyes and let out a tiny laugh. She leaned against the back of the chair and started to stroke his hair without even realizing it. He closed his eyes and sighed in content. Things were good between them. They were getting along in a way they never before experienced. They were talking to each other about everything. They were getting to know each other in a new way and growing closer as friends. Sirius never imagined that he could be so content just by being friends with his wife but he was. He was enjoying getting to know the new her. The real her. The old her was just a glimpse to the real her. Sam's smile grew when she saw how peaceful he looked. She hated to admit it but he was really adorable at times. She enjoyed getting to know. She liked that they were becoming friends. She liked spending time with him. She smiled when their eyes locked. He pulled her hand away from his hair and yanked on it. Her eyes widened when she slid onto the seat. They were crammed next to each other on the chair and she smiled again. She rested her head on his shoulder. He rested his head on the top of hers and their eyes closed as they sighed in content. It was moments like this that they enjoyed the most. She felt his arm slide around her and he squeezed her to him. After her stay at St. Mungo's, she never imagined that she would be able to be held by him, or anyone for that matter, again. She loved it when he held her like this. It always made her feel safe and at ease. It made her feel like she was home. She knew why she could be held by him without having a panic attack…for the most part. It was because he was her soul mate and it was because she knew in her heart that she was safe with him. He had taken so much care of her since she returned even when he knew that they couldn't be together. He took care of her when she had the run-in with Severus. She knew he would never willingly harm her and this helped her be able to let him touch, kiss, and hold her without freaking out all the time. Yes, she still had trouble at times but mostly, she was fine with him. Their hands found each other and their fingers entwined. "Why did you pull me down onto the chair?" She whispered.

He smiled and kissed her temple before resting his head back onto hers. "You deserve to sit down like the rest of us." She smiled. "Plus, I like having you next to me."

The others smiled at them. They liked that they were getting along and they liked that they seemed to be on their way back together. "What's this?" Frank asked. They opened their eyes to look at him but didn't pull away from each other. He smirked. "I thought you couldn't be touched, Sammy."

She nodded. "That's right."

His eyebrow rose. "Then how do you explain this?"

She winked at him. "We all know that I can't stop myself from touching my husband."

He kissed the top of her head as they laughed. "You all know I'm irresistible." They rolled their eyes. "She knows she is safe with me and doesn't always have a panic attack when I touch her."

Chris' eyebrows furrowed together. "What are we? Chopped liver?" Sam looked at him in confusion. "You know we won't hurt you, right?" She nodded slowly. "Then why do you have a problem when we touch you?"

Sam shrugged. "I have no idea." Chris nodded. "I'm not doing it on purpose."

He smiled. "I know, Sammy. Don't worry about it."

Kevin smiled. "So, you can touch him?"

She nodded. "Yes, I can. I'm touching him now, aren't I?" He nodded. "I don't have a problem touching him…most of the time."

Frank let out a tiny laugh. "Do you _touch_ him a lot?" She shrugged. Sirius eyed him closely. "Then why did we hear him making those funny noises in the shower this morning?" Sirius choked. Sam blinked. They laughed. "You two should just shag and get it over with already."

Alice rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs. He winced. "Leave them alone." He nodded and rubbed his side. "I think it's nice that they are being abstinent."

His eyes widened. "What do you mean by that?" She shrugged. "I think its bloody crazy! Abstinence…it seems painful to me."

Sirius nodded. "You're preaching to the converted." He muttered. Sam stared at him. He smiled. "I love you." She rolled her eyes and nodded. "Are you mad?" He whispered. She shook her head. "Are you sure?" She nodded. "I'm fine with waiting."

Patty smiled. "When will you two shag?" They looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "What? I was just wondering."

He tightened his hold on her and shrugged. "We're waiting…until she is comfortable."

She smiled. "That's sweet." He shrugged in response. She looked at Frank. "Maybe we should try that."

His eyes widened again. "Excuse me?" She rolled her eyes. He glared at them. "See what you two have started?" They rolled their eyes.

Kevin looked at Patty. "You…you don't want to do that, do you?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. I like shagging you too much." He beamed. "Plus, I don't have issues with being touched like Sam does." Sam shifted uncomfortably and blushed. She winced. "I didn't mean it like that, Sammy."

She smiled. "I know. It's alright."

James and Lily walked in and sat down next to them. "Did we miss anything?" James asked.

Chris shook his head. "No, you didn't. We were just asking Sam and Sirius when they'll start to shag again because Sirius was enjoying his _alone_ time in the shower too much this morning."

Lily laughed when Sirius blushed. "Is Sirius sexually frustrated?" Sirius glared at her. "Stop being a baby!"

James shrugged. "Well, it is painful but I've only ever known abstinence. I'm willing to find out the joys of sex though." Lily gave him a look. He gulped. "But waiting is good too."

"That's telling her, mate." Chris said with a smirk. James gave him the finger and rolled his eyes. "So, Sirius, what were you thinking about this morning while you were taking a shower?"

He smirked. "I was thinking about…your mum." Chris rolled his eyes. They laughed. He shrugged. "What do you think I was thinking about?" They shrugged. He rolled his eyes. "I was thinking about Sam!"

They nodded. Sam blushed. This was definitely something she didn't want to know. Yes, it did please her that he was still attracted to her in that way but it was something private. No one, especially her brother, needed to know about that. Kevin stared at him. "You think about Sam, your wife, when you masturbate?"

James and Sam shared a groan. Sirius nodded. "Yes, I do." The boys blinked. He laughed. "I'm not weird. I just want to shag my wife. There's nothing wrong with that." Sam shifted uncomfortably. Lately, the subject of sex made her extremely uncomfortable. She knew she used to shag like it was going out of style before but it was different now. She was different now. She was still attracted to Sirius, painfully so, but sex was not something she let herself think about…too much. It wasn't like she thought about it every other minute of every day to the point where she had trouble breathing. She shook her head to clear her head. That was definitely not something she needed to think about at that particular moment. "This morning I was thinking about this one time over the summer after we got together. We snuck outside at night and walked around in the backyard. It was nice. We went into my room…to talk." They smirked. Her eyes widened. James felt sick. "I remembered how…Sammy does this little thing when we're about to-"

James groaned. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" They stared at him. "I can't listen to anymore!" They nodded slowly. He looked at Sam. "Look, I know you two are married and used to shag like bunnies!" Her face was on fire. "I know you are my best mate but this is too much!" Sirius held in a laugh. "Can you stop torturing me like this, please?"

He laughed. "Prongs, I promise I'll stop!" He nodded and sighed in relief. "I was just saying it to make you and Sam uncomfortable." They looked at him oddly. He shrugged. "Sam has trouble talking about sex now and James hates to hear anything sex related involving Sam." He smirked. "It was very entertaining."

Sam elbowed him in the ribs. He winced. "You're a git." He shrugged. "It wasn't nice to do that to James." She said matter-of-factly. They looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "James and I…" She sighed. "We are still related even though we don't want to be." James sighed. Lily patted his arm in encouragement. "But that doesn't mean I want him to be uncomfortable."

He smiled at his sister. "Thank you, Sam." She shrugged. He looked at Sirius. "You're an asshole."

He nodded and shrugged. "I'm aware of that. Thank you." He held her hand and kissed the back of it. She squirmed. "Did I make you uncomfortable, Baby?" She shrugged again. "Are you mad?"

She stared at him. "Not really." He smiled. "It pains me to admit this but James is right. You are an asshole." He pouted. She rolled her eyes and laughed as she pushed his shoulder with her free hand. "Git."

He kissed her cheek. "Nag." He whispered. She winked at him. He put his arms around her and laughed into her neck. She smiled and blushed. They snuggled closer to each other. "I love you." He whispered. She nodded slowly. He rested his forehead in the crook of her neck. She rested her temple on his and closed her eyes. He sighed in content. "I like being like this with you, Sammy." She smiled. "I also love that hearing me say that makes you smile." She let out a tiny laugh. He stared at her before kissing her slowly. A doofy smile appeared on his face when he saw how her cheeks were tinted a bright pink. "You're cute when you blush." He whispered. She rolled her eyes and giggled. He kissed her again and they rested their foreheads against each other. "I really like this." He whispered.

She smiled. "I do too."

He beamed. "Is that the truth?" She nodded. He kissed her. "I'm glad to hear it."

The girls smirked at them. The boys rolled their eyes. "You two need to stop being all _sweet_ like that! It's making me nauseous!" Chris mumbled.

Lily laughed. "So, what is everyone doing for Valentine's Day?"

James smiled at her. "We'll be busy." She smiled. "It's a surprise and no, I won't tell you." She pouted. He kissed her. "You'll love it. I promise."

Frank shrugged. "Obviously, we're all hanging out with our girlfriends."

Patty nodded. "Kevin already said we were going to do something." He nodded in response. "What are you two doing?"

Sam shrugged. "We're not doing anything."

She looked at him. "Sirius, you don't have anything special planned?"

He smiled. "Well, I did think of a few things." Sam sighed. "What is it? Don't you want to do something with me?"

She smiled. "Of course I do but…I can't." His eyebrow rose. "I already have plans."

He choked. "You what?" She sighed again. "Who do you have plans with?" She opened her mouth to speak but he kept talking. "If the name that comes out of your mouth is Michael, we will have a serious problem!"

She shook her head. "It's not Michael. Of course it wouldn't be him. Why would I spend Valentine's Day with him?" He gave her a look. "I wish you would get over it! I don't fancy him!" He got up and walked to the other side of the room. She groaned. "Why does he have to be like that? Yes, Michael and I used to go out and we did kiss a few times at the ball but I didn't marry him! I married Sirius!"

James patted her hand. "Don't worry, Sam. He…is just being a git." She had a small smile on her face as she nodded. He smiled. "Who do you have plans with?"

"I have plans with Alan." He looked at her oddly. She shrugged. "It was his idea. He wants to have a sort of special session. He says it will help me."

He nodded. "I see." She sighed. "Why didn't you just tell Sirius that?"

She rolled her eyes. "He didn't actually give me an opportunity, did he?" He nodded slowly. "If he would have let me talk, I would have told him."

He shrugged. "What's stopping you from doing that now?" She looked at him oddly. He let out a tiny laugh. "Get up and go after him. Tell him what you told us. Explain it to him."

She nodded and stood up. She gave him a small smile. "Thank you, James."

He shrugged again. "It was nothing."

Lily kissed his cheek as he waved his sister off. "That was very sweet of you, James." He looked at her. "You did a good thing."

He smiled. "Well, it seemed like the right thing to do." She smiled. "They need all the help they can get so they can be together."

Sirius was leaning against the table and sneered at a table of first year boys. He had an urge to punch them. Sam walked over to him and touched his arm. He pulled his arm away. He stood up and faced the wall. She stared at him back and rolled her eyes. He could be such a baby sometimes. She touched his shoulder but he shrugged her off. She sighed again. "Are you spending Valentine's Day with Michael?" She shook her head. "Well?" She rolled her eyes. He turned around to face her. "Are you?"

Sam stared at him closely. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he was staring at the ground. She touched his cheek. He moved his head. "Sirius, look at me." He took a deep breath before looking at her. "I'm not spending Valentine's Day with Michael." He shrugged. "Why would you think that?" He shrugged again. She sighed. "Would you talk to me?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shifted from side to side. "Why would you think that I am spending Valentine's Day with him instead of you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know." Her eyebrow rose. "You used to go out with him."

She smiled. "I also dated you."

He looked at her. "You also snogged him at the ball."

She nodded. "Yes, I did." He stared at the ground and sighed. "But I also remember snogging you." He nodded and shrugged. "I married you, Sirius." He looked at her. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She hung on him. A smile tugged on his lips. "I married you." He nodded again. "Why would you ever think that I would spend the most romantic day of the year with Michael instead of you?" She whispered.

He sighed. "I…I see how the two of you get along. I see how close you are. You tell him things and I'm pretty sure that you don't tell them to me." She gulped. "You shared the journal with him and yes, you shared it with me too but…it's just different. Sometimes, it feels like you prefer him to me." Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Do you prefer him to me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. Of course I don't." He looked towards the window. She smiled. "Baby, I don't prefer him to you. I don't prefer anyone to you." She saw him trying to fight back a smile. "I do care about him but he's just my friend. I care about you. You are my husband." He nodded slowly. "You're not only just my husband. You're also one of my best friends." He smiled. "The more time we spend together, the closer we get. Don't you think?" He nodded. She laughed. "You're crazy if you think I'd want to be with anyone besides you." A wide smile broke out on his face. She leaned into him. She was still hanging on to him. His hands were still in his pockets. She stared up at him with a smile. "You really are crazy!" He laughed as he looked around the room. He wouldn't look at her. "Baby, I demand that you get over this! You're the one." He blinked. "You're the one I chose to marry. You're the one I want to spend my time with. I chose you and, even after everything, I…" She bit her lip. He was frozen to the spot. "You know you're too arrogant to be this insecure!" He rolled his eyes. She laughed. "You know it's true!" He laughed. He was looking around the room and still refused to look at her. She smirked. "I guess I will have to tell you what I like about you so much." He laughed and shrugged. "You're smart. You're handsome. You're funny. You're fun to be with. You're easy to talk to…lately." He rolled his eyes again. "And, I've got to say, you're dead sexy." He smirked. "Now, will you stop pouting and look at me?"

He smiled at her. "Better?" She shrugged. He slid his arms around her and held her close to him. "How's that?"

She smiled. "Much better." She whispered.

He leaned in and kissed her slowly. "I love you." Her smile grew. "So, who are you spending Valentine's Day with?"

She sighed. "I'm spending it with Alan." His eyebrow rose. "He wants to have some sort of special session. He said it was a surprise." He nodded slowly. "We could spend the rest of the night together after I'm done…if you want."

He nodded. "I want to." She smiled. They kissed before resting their foreheads against each other. He pulled her closer. She tightened her arms around his neck. He rubbed her back. "Do you want to spend Valentine's Day with me, Sammy?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do." They held onto each other tightly. She yelped when she felt a pinch. She stared at him. "Did you just pinch my bum?"

He looked at her oddly. "No, I didn't." He heard the first year boys laughing and turned to glare at them. "Did you lot pinch my wife's bum?" One brown haired boy blushed. His eyes narrowed. "You're going to pay for that!"

She shook her head. "Sirius, don't threaten him." She stepped closer to the boy. "Don't worry about him. He doesn't mean it." The boy winked at her. She took a step back and she blinked. "What the-?"

Sirius held her to him. He glared at the boy. "You're lucky she's here! When she isn't around, I'm going to hex you all the way back to nappies!" The boy gulped. Sam giggled into his ear as she held onto him. He smirked. "Did you like hearing that, Baby?" She blushed and nodded. "I'm going to hex him for the rest of the year just because he pinched you." She laughed. The boys looked at each other in confusion. He glared at them. "Watch your backs! All of you!" They nodded quickly. He winked at her. "Would you like to get out of here and spend some time alone with me?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, I would!" He beamed. "You're such a strong guy!" He laughed. "You're all man, Black!" He nodded eagerly. "Let's go!"

He threw her over his shoulder. She laughed. He looked at the boys. "I'm going to shag my wife now!" They blinked. He walked away with Sam howling with laughter over his shoulder. He looked back at them. "_You're dead_!" He mouthed.

The boy who pinched Sam's bum looked at his friends and shook his head. "They're bloody nutters!" They nodded. "And, he's going to kill me for pinching his wife!" They nodded again. "I'm screwed!"

* * *

* * *

Sirius walked down the hall with his friends and had his arm around Sam's shoulder loosely. She was busy reading as they walked. She found it incredibly entertaining to read rather than listen to the conversations of the boys. They were always talking about something idiotic and she quickly realized that she needed something to distract her or she'd go insane. Sirius understood. He didn't have any problems with it at all. He was just happy having her around. He quickly learned that if Sam was reading a book she enjoyed, she wouldn't pay attention to her surroundings. He talked and laughed with his friends but still made sure that Sam didn't walk into a wall or something. He pulled her closer to him when she was about to walk into someone. She nodded in thanks as she continued to read. He held in a laugh. He loved how easy it was for her to get lost in a story. "McGonagall was fine today. Slughorn was up my ass just because I forgot to add one stupid ingredient." He said as he pulled Sam in front of him so she would avoid hitting the wall. "It's not like the potion blew up."

James laughed. "Well, I think with the way he reacted, it was about to blow up the room."

Remus smiled. Sirius had to move Sam around again to avoid injury. "You should have paid more attention to your work instead of…other things." He said while nodding at an oblivious Sam.

Peter shrugged. "I didn't mind him yelling at you." They looked at him. He shrugged again. "It took the heat off of me when my cauldron melted…again."

He laughed. "You're welcome, Wormtail." Peter rolled his eyes. He looked at Remus and winked. "I'd rather focus on _other_ things."

He rolled his eyes. "You usually do." He laughed in response. "But you should focus on your school work. You are still on probation after all."

He sighed as he moved Sam out of harm's way again. "I know that, Moony. Believe me when I say that I remember that I'm still on probation and why I'm on it. There's nothing that will make me forget it." He glanced at her. She was still lost in her book. He kissed her temple. She nodded at him. He let out a tiny laugh. She had no idea what was going on and just assumed that he prevented her from hitting another wall. "I almost lost her because of what I did. That's something I'll never forgive myself for." A dark shadow crept across his face. James sighed. "I've almost lost her in so many ways too many times. If I have to deal with some stupid probation and deal with stupid counseling sessions run by a ponce that wants to shag my wife and an asshole that I'm not sure even likes us or not, it is worth it in the end. If it helps make things better between us then I will deal."

He smiled. "That's very…responsible of you, Padfoot."

He shrugged and laughed. "What can I say? I'm maturing as I get older." Remus rolled his eyes. They stopped in front of the bathroom. Sirius made Sam stand against the wall. He kissed the top of her head and smiled when she gave him another quick nod. "Baby, stay here. I'll be right back."

Sam shook her head as she kept reading. "No, I'll go." She mumbled. He looked at her oddly. He grabbed her face and made her look at him. She blinked. "What?" His eyebrow rose. She blushed. "I'm sorry. I heard what you were saying." He nodded slowly. "I'll go with you. That's the whole point of me protecting you."

He smiled. "You can't go with me now." Her head cocked to the side. "We're going to the bathroom." She laughed and nodded. "I promise if someone tries to attack me while I'm in there, I'll defend myself. I'll even have Remus, James, and Peter looking out for me." She gave him a look. He laughed lightly. "Don't worry. I won't be long." She nodded. He kissed her forehead. "Stay here and read your book."

She nodded again. "I will." He kissed her forehead again. "Will you go pee already? I'll be fine out here alone." He laughed and nodded. "I'm the one protecting you, aren't I?"

He smirked. "Yes, you are and you're doing a wonderful job!" She rolled her eyes. He kissed her. "I'll be back."

Sam waved him off and went back to her book. She was so involved with what she was reading that she didn't notice someone standing in front of her. She blinked when it felt like someone was touching her hair. She shook her head and continued reading. Her eyebrows furrowed together when she felt someone blow in her ear. She knew Sirius wouldn't do that. He was too concerned about not pushing or pressuring her. "What the hell?" She mumbled as she looked up. Her eyes narrowed when she saw him standing in front of her with the usual smirk on his face. "What do you think you are doing?"

Lucius laughed. "What does it look like?" She sneered. He licked his lips. She felt her stomach churn in disgust. "Everyone knows how your _husband_ hasn't been satisfying you anymore. I thought you might want a real man for a change."

She let out a loud laugh. "Are you serious?" He nodded. "In what universe would you be considered a real man?"

His lip curled into a sneer. "You should respect your betters, Potter!"

Her eyebrow rose. "My betters?" He nodded. She scoffed. "You could never be better than me. You could never be better than my husband or our friends. Sirius is a real man. You are just a pathetic _little_ boy dressing up in big boy pants!" He glared at her. "And, my name is Black now! It would be best if you remembered that!"

He knocked the book out of her hands and smirked as she backed up against the wall when he was too close. "Aw, is the brave little Gryffindor scared of me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why would I be afraid of a piece of trash like you, Malfoy?"

He slapped her. "Show me some respect, Potter!"

She punched him. "You don't deserve anything close to respect, you pathetic swine!" His eyes narrowed. "And, my name is Black!"

His smirk returned. "Did Severus have to deal with such defiance?" She growled. "He told me about the things you let him do to you." She gritted her teeth. "He told me about what he did at the ball." She didn't see him move. He had his hand on her throat and gripped it tightly. Her eyes widened. "I'll get what he couldn't from you, Potter! One way or another, I'll get it!"

She kneed him in the groin. "Get off of me!" He groaned. "You will never get anything from me except contempt! You are a pathetic excuse of a human being!" He took a deep breath. "Leave now or pay the consequences!"

His hand was back around her throat. She had trouble breathing. He laughed. "What are you going to do, _Potter_?" She struggled against him. Her nails dug into his arm. "The Gryffindor whore is scared to be touched!" He leaned in close. "How will you stop me? I don't care if you can't breathe! I think I'd rather enjoy it!"

She dug her nails into his cheek and scratched down his face. "I told you to get off of me!" He stumbled back and clutched his face. "You are nothing but a piece of pure blood trash! Leave now or do you want my husband to make you pay for disrespecting his wife?"

He ran at her. "You're the trash!" She head butted him. He growled. "I'll make you pay for that, Bitch!"

He went to attack her again but was punched in the side of his head. He fell to the floor. "I believe my wife told you to leave her alone." Sirius said calmly. Sam sighed in relief when she heard his voice. Sirius stood in front of her in case Lucius tried to attack her again. He was shaking with rage. James, Remus, and Peter stood next to him and glared at Lucius. "What do you think you were trying to do with my wife, Malfoy?"

Lucius sneered. "I was showing her how it's like to be with a real man! All she's had is you and that half blood! She needs to know how it's like to be with her better!"

Sirius laughed but they heard the malice underneath. "You're her better?" He nodded. "Malfoy, I didn't know delusions ran in your family." Lucius spit in his face. Sirius wiped his cheek with his sleeve. "I was really hoping you'd do something stupid like that!"

He sneered again. "I'm not afraid of you, Black! I'm not afraid of your friends or your slut of a wife either!"

James growled. "Don't you dare talk about my sister like that!" Lucius rolled his eyes. "You're going to pay for that!"

His head cocked to the side. "What are you going to do, Potter? Are you going to get your mud blood of a girlfriend to beat me up?"

Sam's eyes widened. "I'll kill you for calling her that!"

Sirius pushed her back. "Sammy, stay out of this." She stared at him. He winked at her. "You had your chance to beat him up. Now, it is our turn for fun." She nodded. "Malfoy, you not only disrespected and attacked my wife but you also disrespected my friends. I can't stand for that."

He laughed. "It's not my fault you married trash like her!"

Remus gritted his teeth. "That's it! You're going to pay!" Lucius smirked. "No one talks about Sam or Lily like that!"

He laughed. "I'd like to see you try and hurt me."

Sirius smirked. "Are you asking us to try to hurt you, Malfoy? Are you _daring_ us to do it?" He nodded. He looked at them. "Gentlemen, you heard him, right?" They smirked and nodded. "Since you asked, we aren't going to get in trouble for your stupidity." He glanced at Peter. "Wormtail, I want you to stay near Sam. I want you to protect her for me."

Peter nodded. "I will."

Sam glanced at Peter when he was next to her. "Sirius, you don't have to-"

He gave her a look. "Yes, I do, Sammy. He tried to attack you and disrespected not only you but Lily as well. He has to pay. I want Peter to help keep you safe. I want you out of harm's way." She nodded. "Let's teach this piece of trash a lesson about respecting _his_ betters!"

Lucius' eyes widened when they tackled him to the ground. They started punching him and he did his best to fight back but it was impossible for him to win. It was three against one. He would be lucky to make it out alive. Peter stood near Sam and gave her a reassuring smile. Lucius tried to crawl to safety but James grabbed him by his ankle. He dragged him back to them. "You aren't going anywhere, asshole!"

Peter patted Sam's shoulder. "It will be ok, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "I know, Peter. I just don't want them to get hurt." He nodded. "Thank you for trying to reassure me though."

The boys were wrestling with Lucius. Sam rolled her eyes when she heard Sirius laughing. "Come on! You're not even trying!"

She rolled her eyes again. "Cocky bastard." She muttered.

Sirius groaned in pain and she winced. She beamed when Lucius whimpered. She just wanted the fight to be over and she wanted to make sure that Sirius was safe. She didn't want him to get hurt. Once this stupidity was over, she was going to make sure he wasn't hurt and that he was ok. "What's going on here?" Sam groaned. Slughorn was racing towards them. "Break it up! Break it up!" He stared at them in confusion as they stood up. "What happened?" They started talking at once but he held his hand up to stop them. "One at a time. What caused this?"

She bit her lip. She didn't want them to get into trouble. She didn't want Sirius to get expelled because of Lucius. "I did!" She blurted out. They turned to stare at her. She blushed. "I-I started this, sir."

Slughorn stared at her in surprise. "You started this, Samantha?" She nodded slowly. His eyebrow rose. "How could you start something like this?" She blushed again and she beckoned him closer. Sirius stared at her and smiled when she winked at him. His smile grew when he realized that she was going to do her best to protect them. She was going to do her best to protect him. "Ok, tell me how you caused this, Samantha."

She gulped. "Well, you see…Sirius and I are married now." He nodded slowly. "But you knew that already." He nodded again. "Sirius…well…I can't…um…I can't perform my wifely duties." She whispered.

He looked confused. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

She couldn't believe she was saying this to her professor of all people but she had to save Sirius from getting into trouble. "As you know, I have trouble with being touched in any way." He nodded. "Sirius can hug and kiss me but not for too long or I have a panic attack." He stared at her. "Sirius has…he is sexually frustrated." His eyes widened. "He is so distracted by the lack of sex that he…can't concentrate on his work or anything else for that matter. That's why he did so poorly in your class today." He nodding in understanding as his face became pink. "So, it's my fault that he wasn't at his best today." She bit her lip. "I mean masturbation isn't even working for him anymore! It's all my fault, sir."

He looked incredibly uncomfortable about the whole topic of their conversation. She hoped it worked. "I see." He rubbed his eyes. "Why was he fighting with Lucius?"

She sighed. "Well, that is partly my fault too but mostly Lucius'." His eyebrow rose. "I was just standing here reading my book while I waited for Sirius and the others to come out of the bathroom. Lucius surprised me. He kept…touching me. I told him to stop but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He became aggressive. He slapped me and threatened to get…what Severus couldn't get from me when he attacked me by any means necessary." He blinked. "Well, Sirius came out and saved me from him. He told him to back off and leave. Lucius spit in his face and pushed him. He attacked Sirius. He asked and dared them to attack him. I swear he did. Sirius was trying to protect me. Lucius egged the others on by calling me a piece of trash slut and he called Lily a mud blood." He shook his head. "Sirius has been so frustrated because of me and he does get jealous when other boys talk to me but…Lucius attacked him first. He was defending my honor as well as Lily's. He is so protective of me, especially since the attack, and he is very protective of our friends." He nodded. "Please, don't expel him, sir." She whispered. She pretended to cry. "I can't bear the thought of him being expelled because of me. He was doing the right thing…in the wrong way. Please, I don't want to lose him, sir."

His eyes widened. "Samantha, it's alright! It's alright! Please, calm down!" Sirius shook his head in amazement. He looked at him. "Mr. Black, could you, please, come over here and calm your wife? You seem to be the only one that can do it."

Sirius nodded. He put his arms around her. "Baby, I'm here. It's alright." She held onto him as she "cried". He rubbed her back. "You are fucking amazing!" He whispered. "Keep it up. I think he's buying it."

She winked at him. "Sirius, I'm so sorry! It's all my fault!" James and Remus struggled to hold in their laughter. "Please, don't be expelled!"

He sighed. "I can't promise you that, Sammy. I did break the rules defending your honor and I was trying to protect you when Malfoy tried to force himself on you. If Dumbledore finds out, I'm as good as gone." She became hysterical. "I know, Baby. I'm sad about leaving you too. If there was some way that Dumbledore couldn't find out, I'd stay and you would be calm."

Slughorn smiled. "I think I can help with that." They stared at him in confusion. "I won't tell Dumbledore." Their eyes widened. "This will be our little secret."

She gasped. "Are you sure, sir?" He nodded. "Thank you so much! If I could, I would hug you!" He smiled. She hugged Sirius. "Baby, I'm so relieved!"

He smiled. "I am too." He looked at him. "Thank you, sir."

He waved him off. "Don't mention it." He leaned in to whisper. "But you have to start concentrating in my class again." He nodded. "Sexual frustration is no excuse to fall behind in classes." Sirius choked as his eyes widened. Sam hid her smile. He turned around. "Mr. Malfoy, you and I need to discuss that no means no." Lucius sneered at them. "Let's go to my office right now."

They waited until they went around the corner before looking at Sam. Sirius picked her up and spun her around. She laughed. "Sammy, you were brilliant!" He kissed her. "Baby, you saved me!"

James smiled. "He's right! You were great! We didn't even get detention!"

Sam shrugged. "It was nothing." They rolled their eyes. She laughed. "I was pretty great, wasn't I?"

They laughed. Remus smiled. "Yes, you were!" She smiled at him. Sirius' eyebrow rose. He put his arm around her. She kissed his cheek. "How did you do it? What did you say to him?" Their eyes widened when she told him. They started to laugh. "That's amazing! I can't believe it worked!"

He laughed. "Of course it worked! My baby is good like that!" She beamed at him. He kissed her. "She's a genius."

She smiled at them. "Thank you all for protecting my good name and Lily's. I appreciate it." She looked at Remus. "Thank you." He shrugged. She took a deep breath and gave him a brief hug. He looked at her in surprise. "I…you are one of my best friends and I'm sorry that I haven't really talked to you lately." He nodded. She smiled. "I do miss you. I've really missed our friendship and I hope we can start being friends again."

He smiled. "I'd love that, Sammy."

She looked at Peter. "Thank you for trying to protect me. That was very…sweet of you."

He blushed. "It was nothing, Sammy."

She sighed. "James…" He stared at her. "I…if Lily gives you any crap for fighting, I'll talk to her for you." She mumbled. He nodded. "And, thank you for defending…us." He nodded again. "I appreciate you trying to defend me."

He smiled. "Of course I'd defend my little sister against an asshole like that." She smiled. She stuck out her hand and he took it. He smiled again. "It is just as good as a hug." She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you're ok."

Sirius glanced at her. "Guys, I need a moment or two alone with my wife." They nodded. "We'll catch up with you later." They left. He smiled. "We're all alone."

Sam smiled. "Yes, we are." He walked over to her but tripped over her book. He fell into her and she grunted as her back hit the wall. She held him up and his face was buried in her stomach. She stared at him. He looked up at her. "I got you, Baby. Don't worry. I won't let you fall." He stared at her with wide eyes. She shifted around to support his weight. She winced when she saw his bruised cheek. "Baby, you're hurt!" He kept staring at her. She smiled as her eyebrows furrowed together. "Sirius, why are you staring at me like that?"

He struggled to stand up. She leaned against the wall and stared at him. "You…saved me." She smiled in confusion. "You saved me from expulsion." She nodded and shrugged. "You stopped me from falling down when I tripped."

She looked at him oddly. "Baby, are you ok?"

He caressed her cheek. "Why did you do that for me? Why did you save me from getting into trouble and why did you catch me before I fell?"

She blinked. "You protected me from Lucius." He nodded slowly. "You did the right thing and you could have been thrown out for it. I couldn't let that happen." He smiled. "And, I couldn't just let you fall. That wouldn't have been right."

His smile grew. "Sammy, do you…do you still love me?" She rolled her eyes and laughed. "You do." He beamed. "I still love you too."

She hugged him tightly. He held her as close as possible. "I know you do." Their eyes closed as they held each other. "Sirius?"

He stared at her. "Yes?" Before she could answer, he kissed her. They looked at each other before leaning in again. "Does it feel different between us?" Her eyebrow rose. "Do…does it feel different now between us?"

She smiled. "Yes, it does." He smiled. "It seems like we're…?"

"Stronger?" She nodded. "We seem stronger. Our bond is stronger." She nodded again. "I like this."

"I do too, Sirius."

He picked up her book and handed it to him. "I believe you dropped this." She smiled. He put his arm around her shoulders and smiled when she put her arm around his waist. "Let's go." They walked down the hall together. "Sammy, I'm going to get him back for what he said and tried to do." She looked at him. He kissed her slowly. "I'm going to make Malfoy pay for what he tried to do to you."

She shook her head. "Sirius, no, don't do that." He looked at her oddly. "Baby, I don't want you to get into trouble for me."

He kissed her. "I won't get caught."

She sighed. "How do you know that?"

He shrugged and smiled. "I just do." She sighed again. "Don't worry, Baby. It will be ok. Everything will be fine."

She kissed him. "I don't want you to do this." He nodded. "But please, be careful."

He smiled. "I will be."

She hugged him tightly. "I don't want my vision to come true. I don't want to lose you, Sirius."

His smile grew. "I know and you won't, Sammy. You can't get rid of me that easily." She smiled. "Death can't separate us. Nothing can." They kissed. "Let's go. Everyone is waiting for us."

* * *

* * *

Sam sat down next to Lilac and smiled. She had just finished her exam in Arithmancy and another exam in Ancient Ruins. She welcomed the break that Potions would offer. "Hey Lilac." She smiled in response. "How was Divination?"

Lilac groaned and rolled her eyes. "If I hear about anyone's Inner Eye one more time, it will be too soon!" Sam laughed. "I was interested in it when I signed up but now, it is just ridiculous! If I have to read Alice's palm anymore, I'll scream!"

She laughed again. "Is it really that bad?"

She nodded eagerly. "Yes, it is!" She groaned again. "I don't want to think about _that _class anymore! I can still smell the incense! It makes me nauseous!" She said with a shudder. Sam held in a laugh. "How were Arithmancy and Ancient Ruins?"

It was Sam's turn to groan and shudder. Lilac laughed. "It was horrible! I had surprise exams in both classes! It's not fair! They should outlaw such things!" Lilac nodded in agreement. "I couldn't wait for Potions because I knew Slughorn doesn't give us pop quizzes." Her eyes widened. "You don't think he changed that policy, do you?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't." Sam sighed in relief. "At least, I hope he hasn't changed it." They shared a look and a groan. "It would really suck if he decided to change that policy on the day we are anti-school. It wouldn't end well for us." Sam nodded. She groaned. "Will this day ever end?"

She sighed in defeat. "I don't think it will for us. We are having some serious bad luck today." Lilac let out a muffled groan. She smiled. "At least we have Care of Magical Creatures to look forward to…tomorrow."

She sneered. "Flobber worms! I can't take it! I can't stand another class about Flobber worms!" Sam rolled her eyes. Slughorn walked in and Lilac pouted. "If he gives us a pop quiz, I'll hex him!" She muttered. Sam laughed.

Slughorn stood at the front of the class and smiled. "Today, we will be taking a break from our regular lesson to work on something special!" They stared at him with blank expressions. "As you all know, this is the most romantic day of the year." Boys rolled their eyes while the girls giggled. Lilac and Sam shared a look and made gagging gestures. Lilac was in an epic battle with Adam and Sam wasn't at all interested in Valentine's Day. It was a time for love. It was a time for kissing, touching, and, for most couples, sex. The thought of it made her itch. Yes, she did love Sirius but Valentine's Day didn't feel the same to her this year. She knew if the attack didn't cause her to have trouble being touched, she would have shagged Sirius senseless that night but it did and she wouldn't. She knew Sirius was being patient with her and understood her difficulties but she noticed the strain he was under. He was desperate for some action but he was able to control himself. Sam wondered how long he would be able to last. "Since it is Valentine's Day, we will be learning about…love potions!" Girls cheered. Boy groaned. Sam looked up with interest. Sirius told her about them and how he smelled her scent on their wedding night. This lesson finally started to seem interesting to her. She had told Sirius that she would smell his scent when she learned about the love potion and she wondered if it was true. She knew she would but there was always a chance she would smell something extra. "Now, if you would fall into a nice line, you will all be able to have a chance to smell the potion."

Sam waited in line behind Lilac and wished everyone would hurry up. Alice walked away beaming. "Frank?" Alice shrugged and giggled. She smirked. "I take it he'll be getting lucky tonight and not know why?" Alice blushed and sat back down. Lilac grumbled when she was done. "Adam?" Her eyes narrowed as she growled. She held in a laugh. "Does this mean the epic battle of wills is finally over?"

She held up her hand and growled again. "Not another word, Black!" Sam laughed. "And, yes, it is over." She mumbled. "Stupid men." She grumbled as she went back to her seat. "It's not right!"

Sam took a deep breath when it was her turn. She stood in front of the cauldron and felt a warmth surround her. She sighed in content when her nose was filled with different scents. Treacle tart, broomstick oil, freshly mowed grass, and the sweetest chocolate attacked her senses. She sat down and had a dreamy look in her eye. "That was nice." She muttered.

Lilac smirked. "Let me guess." Sam looked at her. "Was it Sirius?" She blushed and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I thought so." Sam laughed. "You're hopeless, Sammy!"

She looked at her oddly. "What do you mean by that?"

She laughed. "I didn't mean anything bad." She nodded slowly. She stared at her closely. "You still love him?" Sam nodded and shrugged. "You still love him after everything, don't you?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do." She looked at Lilac. "I know you don't like him and vice versa but-"

She smiled. "Sammy, you don't have to explain yourself to me. If you think you can trust him then I'll support you."

She blinked in surprise. "Do you mean that?" She nodded. "I know I can trust him now, Lilac. He has been wonderful and understanding with me. You know that."

She nodded. "I know and I support you. I wish the two of you all the best."

She beamed. "Thank you, Lilac. I appreciate it."

She smirked. "I'll still watch him like a hawk to make sure he deserves your loyalty though."

She laughed. "I have no doubt that you will." Lilac rolled her eyes and laughed. "You're a good friend to me."

She smiled. "And, you're a good friend to me too."

"Thank you, Lilac."

"Anytime, Sammy."

"I do appreciate the support."

"I know." She patted her hand. "Anything for you, Sammy. You deserve to be happy and I hope Sirius keeps on making you happy."

"I do too."

"He will…if he knows what's good for him."

* * *

* * *

"Happy Valentine's Day, Sammy!"

Sam jumped and dropped her books on the ground. She held in a groan and smiled as she picked up her books. "Hi, Michael. Happy Valentine's Day. How are you?"

Michael bent down and helped her gather her books. "I'm good. How are you?" She nodded and shrugged. "How was Potions?" Her eyebrow rose as she shrugged. He let out a tiny laugh. "You know I'm trying to ask you something, don't you?" She laughed and nodded. He smiled. "I was just wondering what you were doing tonight." Her eyebrows furrowed together. Heat rose up his neck and his cheeks were tinted pink. She blinked. "Would…are you busy tonight?"

She bit her lip and nodded slowly. "Yes, I am."

He sighed. "Are you spending time with Sirius?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not." He smiled in surprise. "My counselor wanted to have a special session." He nodded slowly. "He said it would be good for me."

He smiled. "What are you doing after?" She shrugged. "Would you like to spend the rest of the night hanging out with me?" She blinked. He stared at her. "What do you say?"

She smelled the sweetest chocolate as she opened her mouth but was interrupted. "She's busy." They turned their heads and saw Sirius glaring at them. Michael sneered. Sam held in a groan. His eyebrow rose when he looked at her. "Aren't you, Sammy?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yes, I am." She glanced at Sirius. "I have a session with Alan and I promised to spend the rest of the night with Sirius."

He nodded. "I see." He looked at her. "Maybe we can hang out some other time instead, Sammy." She nodded. "I'll see you later."

He smirked. "Next time you want to ask someone out, you should make sure they don't have a boyfriend or are already married, Lewis. It will help. Trust me."

Michael stalked off. Sam gave him a look. "That wasn't very nice of you, Sirius!"

Sirius shrugged. "No, it wasn't." Her eyebrow rose. He looked at her. "Well, it wasn't very nice of him to ask you out on the most romantic day of the year when you are married to me." She rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say? He was asking you out on a date and you weren't exactly rushing to say no! I had to say something!"

Sam glared at him. "I was going to say no but you interrupted me before I could!" He scoffed. "What? I was going to say no! You didn't give me the chance!"

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Are you being honest with me?" She nodded. He sighed again. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion like that."

She nodded. "It's ok, Sirius. Don't worry about it." He smiled. She touched his shoulder. "I just wish you would stop thinking I'm going to leave you for Michael. He is just my friend. Nothing is going on between us. I married you and that's the way it is going to be."

He beamed. "I'll be sure to remember that." He held her books and kissed her. "How was your day, dear?" She let out a pitiful groan. He laughed. "Was it that bad?" She pouted and nodded. He put his arm around her and squeezed her to him. "I'm sorry you had such a bad day." She smiled. He kissed her. "Well, was Potions at least entertaining?"

She eyed him closely and smirked. "Is this your way of asking me if I learned about love potions today?" He shrugged. She laughed. "Well, I did."

"And…?"

"And what?"

He smirked. "You know what?"

She feigned ignorance. "I honestly don't know what you are talking about." He let out a tiny laugh and rolled his eyes. "Maybe you should just tell me."

He pulled her close to him. "Fine. I'll tell you if that's what you really want." She let out a tiny laugh. "Is that what you want?"

She pretended to think about it. "Yes, I guess, I do."

He made her look at him. "I want to know what you smelled." She smirked. He groaned. "Did you smell me or not?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure." His eyebrow rose. "I think I should check to make sure." He smirked. She leaned into him and pressed her nose into his neck. He closed his eyes. She sighed in content. All the scents she smelled came rushing back to her. She stumbled. He caught her. She blinked before blushing when their eyes met. "Yeah, that's the good stuff." He laughed. She kissed his cheek. "Are you happy now, Mr. Black?"

He winked at her. "I'm very happy now, Mrs. Black." She laughed. He put his arm around her shoulders and smiled. "So, what do you want to do tonight after your session?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. What do you want to do?" He smirked. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Don't make me hex you on Valentine's Day, Sirius. Doing something like that is sacrilegious, isn't it?"

He laughed as he hugged her. "I believe it is. So, you better behave yourself and control that itchy trigger finger of yours." She laughed. "I have an idea for tonight." She looked at him with interest. "Now, hear me out before you say no, ok?" She nodded. "Instead of doing the whole romantic and lovey-dovey thing since we've been drowning in that proverbial pool since you've gotten back," She stifled a laugh and nodded. "How about we sit back, hang out, and make fun of all those _'so in love'_ couples like the cynical old married couple we are?"

She laughed and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

He blinked in surprise. "It does?" She nodded. "Are you sure?"

She smiled. "I'm sure. I'm crazy about the idea."

He kissed her. "You are an amazing wife." She smiled. He kissed her again. "I'm lucky to have married you."

She giggled into his neck. "No cutesy stuff, remember?"

He nibbled on her ear. "I remember." She swatted at him. He laughed. "If things go well tonight, you might let me touch some of your naughty places again like you used to." She choked. He laughed. "I was kidding, Baby."

She eyed him closely and smirked. "You're funny, Black."

He winked. "Thank you, Black." They kissed. They walked down the hall and stopped when they saw a couple walking towards them while kissing, hugging, and giggling. Sirius looked at her. Sam smirked. "Too easy." They laughed.

* * *

* * *

They were sitting next to each other at dinner and laughed at their friends when they acted lovey-dovey with their significant others. Sirius leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I'm going to get a cavity with all the sugar they are throwing at me." Sam choked on her pumpkin juice. He patted her back. She let out a tiny laugh. "Are you ok?" She nodded. He smirked. "I hate it when I make you choke." Her eyebrow rose. He smiled. "You were choking on all the sweetness, weren't you?"

Sam laughed. "Yes, I was." He smiled. "Also the pumpkin juice I was drinking but the sweetness didn't help matters." He laughed. She bumped his shoulder with hers. "It's fun being a cynical old married couple with you."

He smiled. "Did you ever have any doubt?"

She smirked. "Yes, I did."

He rolled his eyes. "You're funny."

She winked at him. "I try."

He poked her side. She jumped. "Stop trying so hard."

She laughed. "I'll do my best."

Sirius gave her a brief kiss. "You do that now." She rolled her eyes and smiled. Sirius and James shared a look and nodded. Sam's eyebrow rose. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Sam gave him a look. "What was that?" He looked confused. "Don't play dumb, Sirius! What was that look between you and James?" He laughed and shook his head. She sighed. "Tell me the truth, Sirius."

He smiled. "Don't worry about it, Sammy." She stared at him. He kissed her briefly. "Just sit back and enjoy the show." He whispered.

She looked at him oddly. She was about to question him but stopped when Lucius Malfoy stood on top of the Slytherin table and started playing with his hair. People stared at him in confusion. "What the hell?" She muttered.

Lucius cleared his throat. "_I've been cheated. Been mistreated. When will I be loved?_" He sang. The entire room was silent as they watched him sing. He shimmied and swayed up and down the table. "_I've been pushed down. I've been pushed 'round. When will I be loved?_" Jaws dropped around the room. He started doing high kicks. "_When I find a new man that I want for mine, he always breaks my heart in two. It happens every time!_" Lucius seemed to be struggling with himself to stop as his hips gyrated. "_I've been made blue. I've been lied to. When will I be loved?_"

Frank put down his fork and shuddered when Lucius started to grind the table. "I…I never want to eat again." He muttered.

Lucius stood in front of Severus and wiggled his hips. Severus turned green. Sirius howled with laughter. "_When I find a new man that I want for mine, he always breaks my heart in two. It happens every time!_" Narcissa tried to stop him but he pulled her to him and started to dance with her. He pushed her away before grabbing Garrett Goyle and making him dance with him. "_Oh, I've been cheated. Been mistreated. When will I be loved?_" Garrett looked disgusted and tried to pull away but Lucius tightened his hold on him. "_When will I be loved?_" Lucius kissed Garrett right on the lips. People gave them cat calls and wolf whistles. Lucius' eyes widened as he pushed Garrett away. "Goyle, what the hell are you doing?" Goyle stuttered and shook his head. He looked horrified. He turned and stared at everyone. They cheered. His face was turning purple. Sirius smirked. He glared at Sirius. "I'm going to get you for this, Black! No one embarrasses me like that and gets away with it!" He yelled.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Sam paled. "It's not my fault you chose to tell everyone you were in love with Goyle this way, Malfoy! Get over it!" The room filled with laughter. Lucius was shaking with anger. "Don't worry. Everyone is happy that you two love birds have finally gotten together!" They cheered. Lucius started to twitch. Sirius winked at him. "You should probably sit down now…unless you are going to sing another song for us."

He sat down and continued to glare at Sirius. "You're going to pay for this, Black!"

He shrugged. "Whatever you say, Malfoy. Why don't you go back to kissing your boyfriend?" Lucius growled. Sam grabbed his hand. He looked at her and smiled. "Did you enjoy the show, Baby?" Sam was still pale. He blinked. "What is it? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath. "H-He said he would get you back for this. H-He said he will make you pay for this." He nodded slowly and shrugged. "What if he is the one that attacks you tonight? What if he's the one that kills you?" He laughed and shook his head. "Sirius, I'm being serious! He could be the one!"

He smiled. "Sammy, he isn't the one. I know he isn't." She looked at him in question. "He's a ponce. He would never be able to bring himself to do that. He can't bear to get his hands dirty. You know that." She sighed. He kissed her. "Trust me, Sammy. No one will attack me tonight. I'll be fine."

She bit her lip. "Maybe I should just cancel my session with Alan tonight just to be on the safe side. We can stay in the common room all night. If we do, I'll know you'll be safe."

He shook his head. "No, I don't want you to. I promise I'll be fine while you meet with Alan. Don't worry, ok?"

She wrapped her arms around him. He rubbed her back. "I'll always worry about you, Sirius."

His smile grew. "I thought we weren't doing the cutesy stuff today."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Some cutesy won't hurt." He laughed and nodded. "Promise me you'll stay in the common room while I'm with Alan." He groaned. "Promise me, Sirius."

He sighed. "I promise, Sammy." She smiled. He kissed her. "Anything for you."

* * *

* * *

Sirius walked down the hall and sighed. He knew he promised Sam that he would stay in the common room to wait for her but he couldn't seem to sit still. He had stayed in the common room for two hours but he couldn't stand it any longer. He grew restless and needed to get out. He rubbed his eyes. "Come on, Sammy. Where are you? How long does it take to talk to Alan?" He muttered. He froze. "She said I'd be alone in the hallway…and I'd be looking for her." His eyes widened when he heard footsteps behind him. "Oh shit."

Lucius sneered. "That was a funny prank you pulled, Black."

He turned around and smirked. "I'm glad you thought so."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm going to make you pay for that!"

He laughed. "I'd like to see you try." Lucius pointed his wand at him. He laughed loudly. "What do you think you are going to do with that?"

He growled. "I'm going to teach you to respect your betters!"

He smirked. "Malfoy, you don't have the balls to do anything to me! You're a pathetic ponce who hates to get his hands dirty! You won't do anything because you are a wuss and don't have the guts!"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Are you so sure?" Sirius nodded. "Well, I guess I just might surprise you then." Sirius was about to respond but Lucius yelled a curse at him. Sirius fell to the ground screaming in agony as he was set on fire.


	86. Chapter 84: What's My Line?

Chapter 84: What's My Line?

* * *

Remus walked down the stairs into the common room and smiled when he saw Mary reading in the corner. He took a deep breath before walking over to her. "Hi Mary." She looked at him and smiled. "H-Have you seen Sirius?"

Mary shook her head slowly. "No, I haven't." He nodded. Her smile grew when he just stood there. "Remus?" He looked at her. "Was that the real reason you came over to talk to me or was that just an excuse?"

He blushed. "It was just an excuse to talk to you."

She let out a tiny laugh. "You don't need an excuse to talk to me, Remus." He smiled. "I wanted to talk to you too actually."

He stared at her. "You did?" She nodded. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She stood up. "I've been thinking." He nodded slowly. "I-I think…" She took a deep breath. "I think we've waited long enough."

He looked confused. "What are you talking about?" She reached up and kissed him. He blinked. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, I am."

He smiled and kissed her. "I think you're right. We have waited long enough." They kissed.

* * *

James led a blindfolded Lily to the willow tree by the lake. With the help of his friends and sister, there was a table covered in a linen tablecloth and two chairs underneath the tree. There was a candle lit in the middle of the table and food prepared by the house elves waiting to be enjoyed. A bouquet of roses was resting on the table for Lily to see. He took a deep breath and searched his pocket for the ring. His eyes widened. He couldn't find the ring. "Shit." He mumbled.

Lily looked around. "James?" He gulped. "What's going on? What's wrong?"

He wiped the sweat from his brow. He couldn't believe he lost the ring. He had it with him everyday since he bought it and he couldn't understand how he could have possibly lost it when he finally decided to ask her to marry him. "I-I…um…I…" He froze. He felt the ring in his other pocket. He let out a sigh of relief. He smiled. "Everything is perfect, Lily. Don't worry about a thing." He took off the blindfold and kissed her cheek. "Open your eyes and enjoy your Valentine's Day surprise." She let out a tiny laugh and blinked. She gasped. He licked his lips. "Do you like it?"

She stared at him with wide eyes. "Y-You did all of this?"

He blushed and shrugged. "I had some help from our friends but it was my idea." She nodded slowly. "Do you like it?"

She hugged him tightly. "I love it, James!" He beamed. She kissed him. "Thank you."

He handed her the bouquet and kissed her. "Don't thank me yet." She looked confused. "Our night isn't over yet." She smiled. He pulled out a chair for her. "Would you care to sit down?"

She bit her lip and eased down into the chair. "Thank you." He kissed her before sitting down. She beamed at him. "Everything looks so beautiful, James." He smiled and shrugged. "I don't know what I did to deserve this."

He shrugged. "You didn't do anything except be yourself and take me back." They kissed. "Let's eat." They shared a smile before they begun their meal. He wiped his mouth and stared at her. "Did you enjoy the food?" She nodded eagerly. "Did you like this surprise?" She laughed and nodded. "I-I have one more surprise for you."

She blinked. "You do?" He nodded. "I thought this wonderful dinner and the beautiful flowers were my surprise."

He smiled. "Well, I'm glad you liked those surprises."

She squeezed his hand. "I _loved_ those surprises."

He took a deep breath. "I hope you love this surprise too." She stared at him. He cleared his throat. "Lily, I…I love you." She smiled and nodded. "I've loved you since we've met but you had the good sense to hate me on sight." She laughed lightly. "I don't know why or how that changed and I'm not sure I really care because you are with me now." She smiled. "I know I started out as a prat and have moments of being one but you still love me despite all that." Her chin trembled. She had a feeling about what was going to come next. "I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't want anyone but you." She nodded quickly. "I love you and I want my life with you." He got down on one knee and pulled out the ring. "Lily Evans, will you marry me?" She started to cry. He blinked. "Oh crap." He ran a hand through his hair. "I-I didn't mean to make you cry. I-I thought this would make you happy."

She wiped her eyes and smiled. "I am happy, James. They are happy tears."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Sirius said this might happen. Sam cried when he proposed. So did Mum." She smiled. He looked at her. "So, Lily, will you marry me?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "Yes, I will, James." He cheered before kissing her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life as she continued to cry. "I'll marry you, James."

James smiled at her. "You've just made me the happiest man on earth." She laughed. "You definitely chose beneath you but it's too late now. You're stuck with me."

Lily caressed his cheek. "I'll just have to learn to live with that." He laughed and rolled his eyes. "I love you, James. You make me so very happy." He smiled. She was practically jumping in her seat. "Can I see the ring?" He laughed and nodded. "Is this the ring you bought in Diagon Alley with Sirius?"

His smile grew. "Yes, it is. Are you ready to see how it works?" She nodded eagerly. He took a deep breath and slipped the ring on her finger. They leaned in and kissed. A few minutes passed before the ring started to get warm. They didn't seem to notice. They were too busy kissing. A red beam shot up into the air and surrounded them. Their eyes widened. They tried to pull apart but they were fused together. Twenty minutes passed before the red beam disappeared. They were breathing heavily. He blinked. "That was…wow!" She nodded quickly. He kissed her. "Was it good for you?"

She laughed and kissed him. "Yes, it was!" He smirked. "Sam told me it only lasted ten minutes. We beat their record."

He laughed. "I guess we did." He stared at her. "Lily, do you feel we're ready to be married?" She nodded. "I think that's why it lasted longer for us and not them. Sirius was desperate to hold onto Sam and Sam was desperate to believe in him again. They have true love like we do but they weren't ready like we are. They had too many secrets between them to be ready but we don't." She smiled. "They rushed into marriage…with our help. We're not rushing. This is the right time. This is our time to be engaged and eventually, be married."

She smiled. "I like that." She kissed him. "I am ready to be married to you, James. I love you more than I thought possible."

He kissed her. "I love you more than I thought possible too, Lily." Her smile grew. "I promise to make you the happiest woman in the world until your dying die and I'll never stop loving you."

She hugged him tightly. "I'll make you happy too, James. I promise." They kissed. She giggled into his neck. "I can't wait to tell everyone we know!" He laughed.

* * *

Sam took a deep breath and smoothed out her dress. She stared down at the purple dress and sighed when she saw the rips and tears. Alan insisted that she wear the same dress she wore when she was attacked. He said it would help her. She wasn't so sure about that but went along with it anyway. She trusted Alan's judgment. If he thought it would help her, she had to believe it would. She opened the door and stepped out onto the astronomy tower. She walked over to him but stopped. "What…what are you doing here?"

Andrew smiled. "Alan had a work emergency." She nodded slowly. "He asked me to fill in. I hope that's alright with you." She shrugged. He sighed. "If it's a problem for you, Alan said you could wait to do this with him." She sighed in relief. He blinked. "I didn't think this would be a problem for you, Sam."

She stared at him. "It's just that I'm comfortable with Alan. I'd be more comfortable if he was here."

He nodded slowly. "I see." She turned to walk away. "You used to be comfortable with me." She froze. "I remember a time when you were comfortable with me."

She sighed. "I know." She muttered.

He rubbed his eyes. "When did that change?" She didn't answer. "What changed to make you stop wanting to be counseled by me?"

She let out a tiny laugh. "Is that what this is all about? You're upset that I chose Alan to counsel me over you?" He stared at her. "That's pathetic."

He shook his head. "It's not pathetic! It's curiosity!" She rolled her eyes. "I need to know why. Why did you decide to switch counselors?"

She shrugged. "Alan and I just work better together. That's all."

He rolled his eyes. "We worked together just fine."

She rolled her eyes again. "This is just about your ego! You're upset because I switched counselors and hurt your ego!"

He gave her a look. "This is not about ego, Samantha!" She scoffed. "I just want an answer before you leave. I want to know why you prefer Alan to me as a counselor. You can leave after that and only see me in marriage counseling after you give me an answer."

She shrugged. "He challenges me."

His eyebrow rose. "And, I didn't challenge you?"

She shook her head. "Not enough."

He eyed her closely. "OK, I believe you." She nodded. "But I think there's something else." She sighed. "So, tell me the other reason."

She rolled her eyes. "Why isn't the first reason enough for you?"

He smiled. "Because it's not the only reason. Tell me the other reason." She stayed silent. "You know there's another reason."

She gritted her teeth. "Fine! There is another reason!" He smirked and motioned for her to continue. "When I first went to St. Mungo's, I was heartbroken and confused!" He nodded slowly. "I grew attached to you because you reminded me of Sirius! I know that!" He stared at her. "I was still so in lo…lo…" She groaned. "I still cared for Sirius a great deal and there you were. You looked so much like him but you were…nice." He laughed lightly. "I grew infatuated with you. I wrote you…I wrote you those stupid notes like an idiot!"

He nodded. "I know all of this, Sam. What's your point?"

She sighed. "It was embarrassing enough sending you those notes but then, during my second stay at St. Mungo's, I found out my embarrassment didn't end there!" He looked confused. Her eyes narrowed. "I found out you showed my notes around to other people and laughed about having another stupid girl with a crush on you!" His eyes widened. "You laughed about me and that stupid crush of mine with other people!"

He shook his head. "Sam, no, I didn't!"

She stared at him. "Yes, you did." He sighed. "Admit it!"

He rubbed his eyes. "I admit that I did show your letters to my colleagues and discuss your crush with them." She smirked. "But I did that because I wasn't sure of what to do. I never had a patient have a crush on me before and I didn't know how to handle it." She eyed him closely. "I admit I did laugh about it because I was flattered by your crush but it wasn't meant in a mean way."

She looked down at the ground. "That's not how Alan described it."

He nodded in understanding. "He was the one who told you." She nodded. "Alan has a talent of putting a bad spin on things."

She gave him a look. "He shouldn't have said it the way he did but he's a good guy and a good counselor."

His eyebrow rose. "Do you care for him?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do but not the way I did for you."

He shook his head. "I didn't think that." She nodded. He let out a tiny laugh. "I thought you didn't want me to counsel you anymore because I kissed you…twice." He looked at her. "Is that another reason? Because I apologized for that!"

She shook her head. "The kisses weren't a reason even though it was rather inappropriate of you to do that."

"I didn't hear you complain."

"I wasn't thinking clearly…obviously."

He held in a scoff. "I'm sure." Her eyes narrowed. "I'm just saying that you seemed to enjoy them."

She sneered. "As I said, I wasn't thinking clearly then."

Andrew rubbed his eyes. "This is pointless. I kissed you twice. You enjoyed it. We aren't working together now and I finally know why. I got the answer I needed." She nodded slowly. "So, you can go now if you want." She turned to go. "But think how proud Alan would be if you decided to stay and deal with me." She froze. "You know he'd be pleased with your progress if you did decide to stay."

Sam's eyebrow rose. "I know what you are trying to do, Andrew." He smirked and shrugged. "You are using Alan to try and manipulate me to stay. You think if I stay, I'll see you as the better counselor." He shrugged again. "I did like working with you when I did but I like working with Alan more. He does challenge me in a way you never did. He pisses me off and pushes me but it's good for me in the long run." He nodded. "I do like it when Alan is proud of me. I can't deny that but I don't seek out his approval like I did when we first started working together."

He stared at her. "What is your point?"

She smiled. "My point is that I'll stay and work with you one on one this time." He smiled in surprise. "Yes, I am doing this so Alan will be proud of me but I'm also doing this for myself. If I can work with you, I know I can work with anyone."

He let out a tiny laugh. "I see." She smirked. "Well, let's get started." She nodded. He waved his wand. She gasped when life sized balloons of Patrick, Remus, Sirius, Severus, James, and Harold appeared. She looked at him in confusion. "This exercise is about letting go." She nodded slowly. "Each of these balloons resembles a man in your life that has had an effect on you." She gulped when she looked at the Severus balloon. "You will go to each of the balloons, hold it, and let go of the past you've been clinging to for so long."

She blinked. "This…this is what Alan planned on doing tonight?" He nodded. "There's no way I could get out of it, is there?" He shook his head. She took a deep breath. "Well, I better get started." He smiled. "Who do I start with?"

He shrugged. "You can start with whoever you want."

She shrugged. "Well, the first choice is easy." She stood in front of the Patrick balloon. "How do I start?"

He stared at her. "Hold the string to the balloon." She did as she was told. "Now, you figure out how to let go." She rolled her eyes. He laughed lightly. "After you do that and feel you are ready to let go of the past, you let go of the balloon. This will help you let go."

She stared up at the balloon and shrugged as she sighed. "Let's get this over with." She muttered.

_They were walking down the street side by side. Patrick glanced at her and smiled. Sam was being quiet. It had been the first moment all summer where she wasn't talking about her brother or his friends. He knew of James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus and of their reputations but he didn't want to hear about them all day, everyday. He liked Sam. He really did. She was very sweet and kind. She had a great sense of humor and she was easy on the eyes. She just had the annoying habit of jabbering on about her brother and his friends and all the trouble they got in to. Everyone at school knew of her "undying love" for Sirius and her recent crush on Remus. Most of the guys at school who liked her didn't bother trying to get involved with her because it seemed like a lost cause but Patrick wasn't most guys. If he wanted something, he went after it no matter the circumstances._

_They had been in Paris for a month and a half and saw all the sites the tourists saw and then some. Michael, Lilac, Sam, and him were like the four musketeers. They did everything together…for the first month but that changed when Michael and Lilac discovered going off alone to snog was a lot more fun than hanging out with Patrick and Sam and seeing the sites. Patrick and Sam spent the last two weeks getting to know each other better and hanging out. They took long walks and talked. They had fun with each other and made fun of each other. In those past two weeks, maybe even before that, Patrick started to develop feelings for Sam but she didn't seem to notice. She was still too caught up with Sirius and Remus._

_He took a deep breath. Tonight was her birthday but she didn't seem happy about it. "Are you ok?" She nodded. His eyebrow rose. "Are you sure?" She nodded again. "OK, if you say so."_

_Sam gave him a small smile. "I would tell you but…I know you don't want to hear about Sirius and Remus anymore." He looked at her in surprise. She laughed and shrugged. "Michael mentioned that I was driving you crazy by talking about them constantly." He had to fight the urge to find Michael and punch him. "It's alright. I understand. I know I talked about them a lot. I didn't mean to annoy you." He shook his head quickly. "I guess I just miss the gits more than I thought I would." _

_Patrick laughed. "It's alright, Sam." She smiled. "It's your birthday and you should be happy." She sighed. "You can talk about it with me if you want…even if it involves Sirius and Remus." She laughed. "So, why is the birthday girl not so happy?"_

_They sat down on a nearby bench and she sighed. "We…James, Sirius, and I have this birthday tradition and it's the first year I will miss it." He nodded slowly. "And, I…I got a letter from Sirius today." He stared at her. She sighed again. "It was nice hearing from him. I didn't think I would since I haven't spoken to him really since Christmas or written to him all summer. I guess I thought he wouldn't want to hear from me after all the months I've given him the cold shoulder."_

_He shrugged. "Maybe he's missing you too." Her smile grew. "What did he say in his letter?"_

_She smiled. "He wished me a happy birthday and…he wanted to continue with our tradition when I get back." He nodded slowly. "I told him thank you and that I'd love to continue our tradition."_

_He nodded. "Well, that's good, right?" She nodded and shrugged. "Then why do you seem so sad?"_

_She sighed. "I guess I just realized how much of a git I was when I stopped talking to him. Yes, he did accuse me of following him around and yes, it did bother me seeing him and Remus kissing other girls but that didn't mean I had to stop talking to them." She shrugged. "I guess Mama was right about me. I'm too stubborn for my own good."_

_He laughed. "I did sense a stubborn streak in you." She laughed. He shrugged. "It's hard to miss." She gave him a mock glare. He smiled. "I'm only stating a fact." She rolled her eyes and nodded. He stared at her. "You should just tell him that you are sorry for giving him the cold shoulder all these months. He'd appreciate it if you did and…the two of you will be friends again. If he's worth it to you to tell him you're sorry, he'll forgive you and be your friend again." She smiled. "Is he worth it?" She looked at him. "Is Sirius worth it for you?"_

_Her smile grew. "Yes, he is."_

_He sighed and nodded. "Well, you should tell him how you feel. He'd be pretty stupid not to forgive you."_

_She kissed his cheek. "Thank you for the advice, Patrick." He smiled in surprise. "I'll be sure to tell him."_

_He glanced at her. "Sam, can I ask you something?" She nodded. "When you tell Sirius how you feel, what are you going to say?"_

_She smiled. "I'm going to tell him that I was wrong for ignoring him and I hope we can be friends again."_

_His head cocked to the side. "Is that all you are going to say?"_

_She nodded slowly. "Yes, I am. Why do you ask?"_

_He shrugged. "I don't know. I…I guess I was just wondering if you were going to tell him how you feel about him."_

_She let out a tiny laugh. "Sirius knows how I feel about him so there's no point in telling him." He nodded. "He knows about my crush but it doesn't matter. He doesn't see me in that way. Nothing will ever happen between us." He nodded again. "Plus, I like someone else too."_

"_Remus."_

"_I have a crush on him too but that's not going to happen either. They think of me as their friend and honorary little sister. They'll never see me as anything other than that."_

_Patrick smiled. "So, does this mean you're not holding out for them?" She sighed and nodded. "Do…do you like anyone else?" She blushed. His smile grew. "Is it anyone I know?" Her blush deepened. He blinked. "Who is it?" She shook her head. "Come on. You can tell me." She glanced at him but looked away quickly. His eyes widened. "I see." He smiled. "Sam, I don't think I…" Her shoulders slumped. "Sam, look at me." She took a deep breath before looking at him. He licked his lips. "I think he likes you too but…he might be afraid to tell you."_

_Sam gulped. "H-He does?" He nodded slowly. "How…how do you know this?"_

_He leaned in. "I know this because he does this." He kissed her. She stared at him with wide eyes. "W-Was that OK?"_

_She stared at him. "Yes, it was." He kissed her again. She smiled. "_He_ picked the perfect place to tell me how _he_ feels." He looked where she was looking and saw that they were near the Eiffel tower. The lights of the Eiffel tower reflected in the water. Her smile grew. "Thank you."_

_He caressed her cheek. "You don't have to thank _him_, Sammy. It was _his _pleasure." She laughed. "Sam?" She looked at him. "I…I want to tell you…since we've been spending time together, I've been starting to feel different about you." She nodded slowly. "I know it's weird since you're going into your third year and I'm going into my fifth but I don't care. I don't care what our friends will say because…I like you, Sam. I really like you." She smiled. "I want to be with you." Her smile grew. "Will you be my girlfriend?"_

_She stared at him in surprise. "Y-You want me to be your girlfriend?" He nodded eagerly. She bit her lip. He gulped as he waited for her answer. "Are you sure?" He nodded eagerly again. She blinked. "This is weird for me." He looked at her oddly. "I never had a boy say he likes me and wants to go out with me." He smiled. "I never had a boy kiss me and not hurt me or play games with me afterwards before."_

_He let out a tiny laugh. "Well, there's a first time for everything." She nodded slowly. "So, what do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?"_

_She held his hand and smiled. "Yes, I will be your girlfriend."_

_He kissed her. "I promise I won't hurt you or play games with you."_

_She smiled. "I'd appreciate that." He laughed and nodded. He kissed her but stopped when she pushed him away after he put his tongue in her mouth. He looked at her in confusion. She blushed. "You put your tongue in my mouth." He nodded and shrugged. "I-I've never done that before." He nodded slowly. "Patrick, I know you're more experienced than I am but-"_

_He stopped her. "Sam, I think I know what you are going to say and it's OK." She looked at him. "We'll go at any pace you want. If you aren't ready for…my tongue to be in your mouth, I won't do it. We'll go slowly if that's what you want."_

_She nodded. "That's what I want."_

_Patrick took a deep breath. "I need to know something and you need to answer honestly." She nodded slowly. "Are you with me because you want to be or until Remus or Sirius finally want to be with you?"_

_Sam blinked. "I'm with you because I want to be. Why?"_

_He smiled. "I just needed to be sure if you were really with me."_

_She kissed him. "I'm with you for you, Patrick. They are just friends and you are my boyfriend now. I'm with you and nothing will get between us."_

_He held her to him and smiled. "That's all I needed to know." They kissed._

Sam let out a bitter laugh as she stared at the Patrick balloon. "Good job keeping that promise, Patrick." She shook her head and thought of another time with Patrick. It wasn't a terrible memory. It was just before Patrick became an unbearable jerk.

_Sam walked out of her class when it was over and sat down on the nearby window seat. She was waiting for Patrick. They had plans to hang out all afternoon. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was only the first week of school and she already had enough homework to last her hours. She couldn't believe how hard third year was going to be. She blinked when she saw James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter laughing as they ran down the hall towards her. "What's going on?" She asked._

_Sirius winked at her as they continued to run past her. "No matter what that git boyfriend of yours says, we didn't do a thing!" He laughed._

_She stared after them. "What didn't you do?" She turned her head when they ran around a corner and were out of sight. Patrick was coming towards her and he looked pissed. Her eyes widened. "W-What's wrong?"_

_Patrick gritted his teeth. "Your brother and his friends are what are wrong!" She held in a groan. Ever since school started, her brother and his friends took great joy in hexing Patrick and his friends. She didn't understand why they just couldn't leave her boyfriend alone. "They hexed me…again!"_

_She rubbed her eyes. "What did they do to you now?" He turned around and she gasped. There were scorch marks on the back on his robes but that wasn't the shocking part. Patrick had a donkey tail coming out of his bum and it was wagging at her. She couldn't believe her eyes. "Oh my god!"_

_He turned around and glared at her. "Don't you dare laugh at me, Samantha! This isn't funny!" She shook her head quickly. She would have laughed but he looked so angry and she didn't want to push him. "I can't believe they did this to me!"_

_She gulped. "What happened, Patrick?" His eyes narrowed. "I-I'm not laughing at you, Baby! I just need to know what happened!"_

_He sat down and winced. "I was talking to my friends on my way to meet you when that band of idiots showed up." She nodded slowly. "They started taunting us as usual. I told them to screw off. They told me that I was a git and needed to be put in my place." She stared at him. "Then they started hexing us like crazy and I had scorch marks on my ass!" She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing and nodded. "That prat Black said an ass like me was missing something and then, he gave me this tail!" She blinked. "Before we had a chance to fight back, they ran off laughing!"_

_She took a deep breath as she tried to hold in her laughter. She couldn't believe they did this to him. She shook her head. Actually, she could believe it. It was one of their funnier pranks. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were always good for a laugh. She touched his cheek. He looked at her. "I'm sorry they did this to you. I'll speak to them and have them…remove your tail."_

_He shook his head. "Don't bother. I'll just go to Madam Pomfrey-"_

_Her eyes widened. "You can't do that!" His eyebrow rose. "She'll report them!" He shrugged. "Promise me you won't report them."_

_He stared at her. "Why shouldn't I report them after what they did to me?"_

_She gulped. "Because James is my brother." He nodded slowly. "And, he considers Sirius, Remus, and Peter his brothers." She shrugged. "So, I consider them to be my brothers."_

_He gave her a look. "That's not true." She sighed. "You don't even like Peter and you're in love with Sirius and Remus."_

_She sighed. "It's true I don't care for Peter. He gives me the creeps." He smiled. "Yes, I did have feelings for Sirius and Remus but…" She gave him a small smile. "That changed when we got together." She lied. His smile grew. She kissed him. "James will fix you…if he knows what's good for him." He laughed and kissed her. "Come on. Let's go."_

Sam took a deep breath. "He wasn't all bad all the time." She muttered. Andrew nodded slowly. "He…he just changed so much." He stared at her. "After awhile, he couldn't take all the hexing James, Sirius, and Remus would do to him. He…he became mean."

Andrew sighed. "How was Patrick mean to you?"

She shrugged. "It started off with little side comments. If I wanted to do something or thought about trying to do something, he would imply that I couldn't do it. He would imply I wasn't able to do them. If I sat with him at dinner and wanted seconds, he would imply that I was getting fat." Andrew shook his head. "Then he just started yelling at me. He wasn't subtle about his insults anymore. He would call me stupid and worthless…especially if I upset him in some way. He kept telling me flat-out that I was fat. I believed him. He told me if I didn't stop eating so much and gaining weight, he'd leave me."

He nodded. "He tore you down little by little until you became submissive…well, as submissive as you can be." She let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "Do you have a specific memory of how bad Patrick got in mind?" She nodded. "Tell me about it."

_Patrick glared at her. Sam gulped. She knew what was coming. She knew once he got red in the face that he was going to yell at her and berate her…a lot. "Why won't you do it?" She sighed. "And, don't give me that crap about you not being ready!"_

_She let out a shaky breath. "B-But I'm not ready, Patrick."_

_He rolled his eyes and sneered. "B-But I'm not ready, Patrick." He mocked. She looked down in shame. "Sam, do you know how difficult it is to put up with all the crap you put me through?" She shook her head slowly. "I have to deal with your idiotic brother and his friends hexing me at every turn! I have to deal with you and your moronic thoughts! I have to deal with your moronic friends!" She flushed. "You'd think I'd get something out of this but I don't! All I get is excuses from you for not letting us do anything more than just kiss!" She bit her lip. "If you don't do this now, I'll find someone who will!" Her eyes widened. "Now, what is it going to be?"_

_She blinked. "Patrick, you don't mean that.' His eyes narrowed. "I-I…I've never done it before!" He shrugged. "Please, don't ask me to do this. Isn't it enough I promised to sleep with you at the Christmas ball?"_

_He shook his head. "No, it isn't!" She sighed. "I have something to look forward to for the Christmas ball but it isn't enough! You better do this or we're over for good!"_

_She stared at him. "Patrick…" She shook her head. "If you really love me, you wouldn't be pressuring me like this."_

_He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Of course I love you, Sam! I wouldn't be with you if I didn't!" He looked at her. "I'm the only one that does love you! Do you honestly believe you could get someone else?" She sighed. "No one but me will put up with all your crap! No one will ever love someone worthless like you except me!" Her chin trembled. He sighed. "Sam, you should know by now that I only say these things because I do love you. I'm just trying to help you become a better person than you are now." He caressed her cheek. "I love you, Sam." Tears welded up in her eyes as she nodded. "Don't worry, Sam. You won't always be worthless." She looked at him. "As long as you're with me, you'll get better. I'll help you. I am helping. You'll see." She let out a shaky breath. He kissed her. "So, are you going to do this for me or not?" She bit her lip. His eyes narrowed. "Do I have to tell you again that if you don't do this, I'll find someone who will?" She shook her head. "So, what is it going to be, Samantha?"_

_She let out a defeated sigh. "I-I'll do it." He smiled and kissed her. _

Andrew stared at her with wide eyes. "You never told me about that before. You would always gloss over your time with Patrick." She shrugged. "Sam…why didn't you ever say anything to anybody while you were with him? They could have helped you. They would have stopped him."

Sam sighed. "It's like you said. Patrick broke me down little by little. He made me believe that he was the only one who really cared for me." She looked at him. "Deep down, I knew that that wasn't true but a part of me believed him." She smiled. "That all changed the night Remus kissed me." Andrew smiled. "I did stay with Patrick for a short time after Remus kissed me because…I think I was still scared to leave Patrick but once I found out about the bet he made with his friends, I saw my chance to leave him. I saw my chance to be free of him. It felt great!" Andrew let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "The reason I told Remus I wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because…well…I wasn't sure how James would take it and because, I guess, I wanted to make sure Remus wouldn't treat me the way Patrick did."

He nodded. "I understand." She nodded. "Does Alan know all about Patrick?" She shook her head slowly. "I think you should tell him."She nodded. "What happened after that fight with Patrick?" She shifted uncomfortably. "Tell me."

She sighed. "I attempted to do…_that_ for him but I couldn't. I did try…for a minute but I just couldn't do it." He nodded. "Patrick started yelling. He called me a baby, worthless, and pathetic." He sighed and shook his head. "I yelled at him when he called me stupid but…he grabbed me." His eyes widened. "He didn't hit me or anything.' He nodded. "He tried to break up with me but I wouldn't let him."

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "I thought I couldn't do any better than him. He convinced me I couldn't." He stared at her. "I went back to my room and cried." He sighed. "I wasn't ready for what he wanted but that didn't matter to him."

He rubbed his eyes. "You shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place." She nodded and shrugged. "Before you went out with Patrick, did you have the insecurities you have now?"

She thought for a minute. "I had some like every girl does but not as much as I did…do after I went out with him." He looked at her. "I guess it really started after he became a jerk." He nodded. She looked at him. "I'm over Patrick and I have been for a very long time but I never got over how he treated me and what he would say to me." She sighed. "I'm tired of the limitations I let him put on me." He smiled. "I'm ready to let go now."

His smile grew. "You know what to do." She took a deep breath before she let go of the balloon. "How do you feel?"

She smiled. "I feel fine."

Andrew nodded. "That's good. Who do you want to let go of next?"

Sam sighed. "If I choose Remus next, does that mean I'm saying my time with him didn't matter to me?" He shook his head. "Does it mean I won't care for him anymore?"

He smiled. "It doesn't mean that. It is obvious that your time with Remus mattered a great deal to you and that you still love him very much. A part of you always will. Remember this exercise is helping you let go of the bad and helping you move on. You won't be losing Remus at all. You'll just be moving on from him while remaining his friend. Does that sound good to you?" She nodded. "OK, let's begin."

She smiled as she looked up at the Remus balloon. "Even in balloon form, he's handsome." Andrew laughed. "I've always considered him to be my first boyfriend." He nodded. "When I was with him, I felt special. He made me feel…so good about myself. It was a nice change from Patrick."

_They stood next to each other and smiled. It was their first Valentine's Day together and they snuck off to the astronomy tower after dinner to be alone. Remus hugged her from behind. She leaned into him and her smile grew. "This is nice." He muttered into her ear. She sighed in content and nodded. "Sam?" She turned her head to look at him. "Thank you." She looked confused. He blushed. "Thank you for being with me." She blushed. "I honestly never thought anyone would accept me for what I am but you do."_

_Sam turned around in his arms. "Remus, you are a great guy. You're sweet and thoughtful. You're wonderful." His blush grew. "It doesn't matter to me that you have a furry little problem every month." He let out a tiny laugh. "You make me so happy, Remus. I never thought I could be this happy but I am and it's because of you."_

_Remus caressed her cheek. "You make me happy too, Sammy. You make me happier than I've ever felt before." She bit her lip and smiled. He rested his forehead against hers and sighed in content. "I love you so much, Samantha." She smiled. "I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you." She gave him a look. He let out a tiny laugh. "I'm not planning to be with anyone else. I just want you."_

_She eyed him closely. "Are you sure?"_

_He nodded. "I'm sure." He kissed her slowly. "I just want to be with you." She smiled. He licked his lips. "Is there anyone else you want to be with?" She shook her head. "Are you sure?"_

_She laughed. "I'm sure. You're all I want, Remus."_

_He stared at her. "Are you sure you want me and…not Sirius?" She looked at him in surprise. "Sam, do you still want to be with Sirius?"_

_She shook her head. "Remus, no, I don't." He nodded slowly. "Remus, I just want you. Sirius is just my friend. I want his friendship. That's all I want." He smiled. She kissed him. "I just want you."_

_He stroked her hair. "I just want you too."_

_She smiled. "Remus?" He looked at her. "I love you."_

_He kissed her slowly. "I love you too, Sammy." She stared at him with wide eyes. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. He smiled. "You can tell me."_

_She caressed his cheek. "Since we've gotten together, we've said we've loved each other countless times and I believed it." He nodded slowly. "But tonight, it's the first time that I felt it being true." He blinked. "I know you love me, Remus. I know it but tonight is the first time I truly felt the words. Does that make any sense?" His smile grew as he nodded. She hugged him and rested her forehead in the crook of his neck. "Remus, I want you to know something." She muttered._

_He closed his eyes as he held her close and rubbed her back. "What do you want me to know?"_

_She smiled against his neck. "I'll always love you, Remus." His eyes widened. "Does that scare you?"_

_He let out a tiny laugh. "No, it doesn't." He held her face in his hands. "I'll always love you too, Sammy."_

_They held onto each other as they kissed. She closed her eyes and gripped his hair when he kissed her neck. She rubbed her leg against his as he kissed her collarbone. They were breathing heavily as they stared at each other. He backed her up against the wall. She felt a tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach when he stared at her with a smirk. She licked her lips before they started kissing again. His hand grazed her breast and she shivered. He looked at her. She smiled shyly and nodded. He gulped before he started to unbutton her shirt. Her face was on fire. This was the farthest they had gone. Sam had been scared to move things along because of how things with Patrick worked out. Remus never heard the whole story but he still understood and respected her decision to take things slow. He kissed her slowly. Her breath caught in her throat as he kissed her chest. He moaned. He licked his way back to her neck. She grabbed his face and kissed him eagerly. His eyes widened before he pulled her closer to him. He massaged her hips. She moaned into his mouth. He slid his hand down to the button of her jeans. He unbuttoned her jeans and looked at her. Usually at this point, she would stop him. He was surprised by how far they went already. She took a deep breath and unzipped her jeans. He blinked. He couldn't believe it. Sam would always stop him whenever he tried to unbutton her shirt. He wasn't expecting any of this to happen. She kissed him. "I love you, Remus." She whispered. "I trust you. I want to do this with you." He nodded dumbly. She unzipped his pants and bit her lip. "Is this ok?" He nodded eagerly. She guided his hand into her jeans. He let out a shaky breath when she started to stroke him. He put his hand over hers and helped her when she had trouble. He slid his hand into her jeans and she gasped in surprise. She kissed him eagerly when they were done. They broke apart. She stared at him with wide eyes. "That was…" She kissed him again. "I-I never knew…" He rested his forehead against hers and smiled. She let out a tiny laugh. "If I knew it would be like that, I wouldn't have waited for so long."_

_Remus kissed the side of her neck and laughed lightly. "I take it that you liked what we did." She blushed and nodded. He kissed her and smiled. "Don't be embarrassed, Sammy." She stared at him. "We did a good thing." She nodded slowly. He caressed her cheek. "It's even better when you do it with someone you love." She smiled. "We love each other and you'll enjoy the other things we can do."_

_Sam looked at him in confusion. "What else is there to do?" He smiled and whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened. "You…you…do that to me?" He nodded. "I didn't know that." He smiled. "I-I knew about the other thing." He blinked. She shrugged. "I know some things." His eyebrow rose. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_He stared at him. "What do you know, Sammy?" She blushed and whispered in his ear. He blinked. "H-How do you know about that?"_

_She shifted uncomfortably. "Lilac told me."_

_He nodded slowly. "I see." She bit her lip. "Do…uh…do you want to try them?"_

_Her eyes widened. "No!" He stared at her in surprise. She gulped. She remembered how Patrick acted before and after she did that to him and she couldn't bring herself to do that with Remus just yet. She loved and trusted him more than anything but she was still a little scared. "I-I just…I'm not ready to do all that just yet, Remus." He nodded. "Is that alright with you?"_

_He smiled and nodded. "That's fine with me."_

_She stared at him. "Remus, can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Is this the farthest you've gone with a girl?"_

_He let out a nervous laugh. "Well…yes, it is." She kept staring at him. "I…I…" He sighed. "Ok, the night you saw me kissing that girl last year…" She nodded slowly. "She did…" His face flushed. "She did the thing you aren't ready for."_

_She blinked. "Oh."_

_He sighed again. "It didn't mean anything."_

_She nodded and shrugged. "It's ok. It was before we got together." He smiled. "Are you disappointed that I'm not ready for that yet?"_

_He shook his head. "No, I'm not. I'm ok with waiting." She smiled. "Plus, if and when we do that, I'll consider it the first time." He kissed her. "It'll be my first time just like it is yours." She gave him an uneasy smile. "It'll be special because we'll be experiencing it with the person we love."_

_She hugged him tightly. "Oh, Remus, that's so sweet!" He let out a tiny laugh and shrugged. "I love you so much, Remus!" He kissed her. She stared at him with a wide smile. "I enjoyed what we did." He smiled. "When I…we're ready to do more, I know I'll enjoy that too!" His smile grew. "Can we…um…can we do it again?"_

_Remus smiled again. "Yes, we can." He kissed her. "I love you, Sammy."_

_Sam held onto him tightly as she kissed him. "I love you too, Remus."_

Andrew blinked. "That…was interesting." Sam looked at him. "How long was it before you decided to go farther with Remus?"

Sam shrugged. "It was…two months later before I was ready for anything else." He nodded slowly. "Two months after that, we had sex."

He nodded. "I see." He looked at her. "Patrick was the reason why you couldn't go any further with Remus." She nodded. "But you finally realized you could trust Remus enough to do that with him." She nodded again. "Keep going, Sam."

She sighed. "It was a year later. It was another Valentine's Day…our last Valentine's Day together." He nodded slowly. "It was just after we got back together. It was after Sirius…" She sighed. "It was after Sirius told me Remus wasn't good enough for me and after Sirius kissed me."

He stared at her. "What's special about this memory?"

She shrugged. "There's nothing special about it really. It just came to mind."

He nodded. "Tell me."

_Remus held her hand and closed the door behind them. They stood by the wall of the astronomy tower and stared at the sky. His thumb glided across the back of her hand. "Did you like the flowers I got you?" She nodded. He sighed. "Sam-"_

_Sam looked at him. "Remus, why was Hannah talking to you?" He sighed again. "Are…are you…do you want to be with her again?" He shook his head aggressively. "Remus, tell me the truth. I think I deserve it after everything."_

_He looked at her. "Sam, I'm being honest when I say that I was never with Hannah. I never wanted her. I've only ever wanted you and still only want you." He rubbed his eyes. "When I saw Sirius kiss…when I thought I lost you to him…" He sighed. "I was angry and hurt. I told Hannah that I just wanted to forget you. I just wanted to hurt you like I thought you had hurt me. I was too angry to hear the truth from you or Sirius." She nodded. "I wanted to make you jealous. It worked. I hurt you and made you jealous." He took a deep breath. "Hannah…she found out about the package I sent you and she was mad. She understood why I wanted to make you jealous but she didn't like being used." She stared at him. "She was asking me if things were working out between us. I told her they were and apologized for using her. She said she forgave me and wished us luck before she left." She sighed. "Do you believe me?" She nodded. "Are…are things working out between us, Sammy? Do you still want to be with me?"_

_She took a deep breath. "Remus, you really hurt me when you pretended to be with Hannah." He nodded. "I knew why you were with her. I knew you wanted to hurt me and make me pay because you thought I cheated on you but a part of me thought you moved on. I thought you never loved me because you moved on so fast. I was starting to regret ever being with you." He blinked. "I was starting to hate you and hate myself for loving you. I was starting to hate that you were the one I experienced everything with. I was starting to hate the fact that I lost my virginity to you. I shared something special with you. I continued to share that special something with you and only you and I started to hate that I did." He had a pained look on his face. She looked at him. "Remus, I hated thinking and feeling those things." He nodded slowly. "I got back together with you because I love you and missed you so much despite the fact that I was starting to hate you, being with you, and sleeping with you." He gulped. "We've…we have started over and I am glad we are back together…most of the time." She sighed. "But whenever I see Hannah anywhere near you, I…I have moments of hating you again. I hate her. Every time I see her, I want to punch her." He nodded slowly. "Whenever she is near you, I feel like I did when we were apart and I hate it. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to trust you. I want to be open with you like I was before. I just don't know how to do that."_

_He sighed. "Sam, I don't know how to help you with that. I wish I could tell you how to trust me again but I can't." He put his hands on her shoulders and stared at her. "I wish I could take back hurting you, Sammy. I really wish I could but I can't." She nodded. "All I can say is that I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I love you more than anything. I can't stand the thought that you hate me. I can't stand that you started to hate the fact we slept together. You were my first and my only. All I want is for us to be ok again. I want you to look at me like you love me like you used to instead of with suspicion like you do now." She bit her lip. "I understand why you want to take things slow. What I pretended to do with Hannah was horrible and that made me lose your trust in me." He caressed her cheek. "I wish I could make you see how much I really do love you and how much I regret hurting you."_

_She stared at him. "I'm beginning to see it, Remus. It will just take a little more time." He nodded. "I may never really get over it and that might cause me to lash out whenever you have to be around that…Hannah but I'm really trying to forgive you completely." He smiled slowly. She put her arms around his neck slowly. "I love you, Remus." She whispered._

_He closed his eyes as he held her to him. "I love you too, Sammy."_

_She held him tightly. "Remus, please, don't do something like that to me again. I couldn't bear to hate you." He nodded. She looked at him. "I don't want to lose you, Remus."_

_He kissed her. "You'll never lose me, Sammy. I'll never hurt you again. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. The last thing I want to do is lose you." They looked at each other. "I love you more than anything in this world, Sammy. I couldn't take it if you hated me."_

_She kissed his neck. "I don't want to hate you, Remus." She whispered. "I just want to be with you and love you."_

_He kissed her again and smiled against her mouth. "You are with me and you do love me. That's all that matters to me." She let out a tiny laugh. He picked her up and spun her around. She howled with laughter as she clung to him. "You'll trust me again! I know you will!" She giggled into his neck. "I love you, Samantha Potter, and I always will!"_

_She kissed him eagerly. "I love you, Remus Lupin, and I always will!" He set her down and kissed her. "It's obvious I love you more than you love me!"_

_He laughed. "That's impossible, Samantha! I love you more than you love me!" She shook her head aggressively. He nibbled on her ear. She shivered. "I've missed you, Sammy." She let out a tiny moan when he sucked on her neck. "I miss you so much, Sammy." She bit his neck. "I only want you, Sammy."_

_She laughed and moaned when he pushed her against the wall and bit her neck. He smirked. "I only want you too, Remus." They kissed. "I miss you too." She looked at him. "I just want us to be OK again. I want us to get back to the way we used to be."_

_He smiled. "We'll get there soon, Sammy. We'll be OK again soon enough." She smiled. He unbuttoned her shirt as he kissed her. She closed her eyes as he kissed her chest. He went back to sucking on her neck as his hand snuck up her skirt. She gripped his shoulder with one hand as her other hand stroked him. He moaned and grunted into her neck. He pushed up her skirt and tried to take off her underwear but she stopped him. He looked at her while he tried to control his breathing. "What is it? What's wrong?"_

_She sighed. "I can't have sex with you, Remus." He sighed and nodded. "I can do other things with you but not sex. When I slept with you before, it was because I trusted you completely. I don't trust you like that just yet." He nodded again. "When I trust you again, I'll sleep with you but not a moment sooner than that."_

_He nodded. "I understand, Sammy." She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "I can wait. I've done it before." She let out a tiny laugh. He smiled. "I love you, Samantha. I'll do anything to make you trust me again."_

_She smirked. "If you keep talking to me like that, you'll get more than trust from me." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. She laughed. "I love you, Remus."_

_Remus held her to him and kissed her. "I love you too, Sammy. I'll never make you doubt that again. I'll never hurt you ever again." She smiled. "You never have to worry about me hurting you again."_

_Sam smiled and kissed him. "I know, Remus. I believe you."_

"_I love you, Sammy."_

"_I love you too, Remus." They kissed._

Andrew blinked when he saw tears in her eyes. "Sam?" She turned to look at him. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Sam wiped her eyes. "H-He lied to me then without even realizing it." He nodded. "He said he lo…cared for me. He said he would never hurt me again but he did." He sighed. Her chin trembled. "Months after that, I caught him on this very spot with Hannah." He took a deep breath. "I-I was crushed when I saw that. I was in so m-much pain. I-I never thought I'd feel that much pain and hurt ever but the moment I saw them together, I did." She looked at Remus' balloon and cried. "He told me he was scared about the possibility of me being pregnant and that he was drunk but that didn't stop me hurting." She let out a tiny cry. "If I would have never told him I thought I was pregnant, he wouldn't have been with her."

He looked at her. "If you never told him and he found out, he would have been upset. He probably wouldn't have forgiven you."

She shrugged. "But he wouldn't have been with her!"

He shook his head. "You don't know that, Sam!"

She looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He rubbed his eyes. "Sam, from what you have told me during our sessions and now, I think he would have ended up cheating on you anyway." She shook her head. "Think about it, Sam. I want you to really think about it. You told me that when you started your fifth year, you caught Remus talking with Hannah constantly. That was before your pregnancy scare. Yes, they had to talk because they were in some of the same classes but he tried to hide it or explain it away." She looked at him closely. "He loved you, Sam. I believe he did and still does. He always will but he was attracted to Hannah. He knew he loved you but, I'm sure, a part of him wanted to see how things would be with someone else. He was fourteen when he got together with you. He was sixteen when you broke up with him. It's only natural that he would imagine being with someone else. All men, no matter how old they are, imagine themselves with other women. Women do it too. Some act on those fantasies. Others don't. He may have loved you, Sam, but he was still a kid. He needed to experience someone new. No, he shouldn't have cheated on you the way he did or when he did but that's what happened." He sighed. "It wouldn't have mattered if you didn't tell him. It wouldn't have mattered if you did everything right. He would have still ended up cheating on you and then, going out with Hannah." She bit her lip. "I'm not saying Remus is a bad guy. From what you've told me, he seems great but he is also human. We, as humans, make mistakes." She nodded slowly. "No matter what, it would have turned out the way it is right now."

She sighed. "Well, it still sucks and hurts."

He let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "I'm sure it does." She wiped her eyes and smiled. "Is there any other memory of Remus you want me to know before you let go?" She nodded. "What makes this memory special?"

She shrugged. "It's a memory from before we broke up. It was after he cheated on me." He nodded slowly. "I caught him talking to Hannah and we went back to the common room. We ended up having a terrible fight. It was one of the worst ones we've ever had."

_Sam stormed into the common room with Remus trailing behind her. She threw her bag down on the couch and crossed her arms over her chest as she gritted her teeth. He stood behind her. She heard him sigh in defeat. "Don't you dare talk to me right now, Remus!" He sighed again. "Just go away!"_

_Remus shook his head. "I'm not leaving you. We need to talk about this." She growled when he touched her arm. "Sam, I swear nothing happened! We were just talking! Hannah asked me a question about class! That's it! That's all!"_

_She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to hear it! I don't care anymore! Just leave me the hell alone! I want you gone!"_

_He rubbed his eyes. "You don't mean that! If you really wanted me gone, you would have broken up with me after-!" He stopped talking._

_She whirled around and glared at him. "After what?" He didn't respond. "Say it, Remus! Admit what you did!" He gritted his teeth. "Come on! Just say it!"_

_He glared at her. "I've already said what I did! I've already admitted it! I've apologized! I've done everything I can think of to get you to forgive me! What else can I do? What more do you want?"_

_She sneered. "I want you to take it back!"_

_He groaned. "I wish I could but I can't!"_

"_I don't believe you!"_

"_What don't you believe?"_

"_I don't believe you want to take it back! I believe you wish that I found you _after _you shagged her! I believe you wish I broke up with you so you can be with her!"_

"_That's not true! You know that that's not true!"_

"_How do I know that? How could I possibly know that? Every time I turn around, you are with her!"_

"_I have to be around her! We are in the same classes! What am I supposed to do if she has a question? Ignore her?"_

"_Yes!"_

"_That's ridiculous! I can't do that! Do you expect me to ask you to stop talking to Sirius?"_

"_What does Sirius have to do with this? We are just friends! I've never cheated on you especially with him!"_

"_But you want him!"_

"_I want you! I don't want anyone else!"_

"_If that's true, why is he always around you whenever I show up?"_

"_He is my friend! I hang out with my friends especially when you are off _talking_ with Hannah!"_

_Remus groaned. "I'm getting really tired of this, Sam! I talk to her because we are in the same classes! I'm not cheating on you!" She scoffed. His eyes narrowed. "Yes, I did cheat on you! I've apologized for that!" She glared at him. "But I haven't cheated on you again! I made a mistake and, God knows, I'm paying for it!"_

_Sam was breathing heavily. "Well, if you are so unhappy with me, why don't you go back to your whore, Remus?" He groaned. "We know you'd be much happier with her since I'm such an unforgiving shrew you think you're stuck with!" He rolled his eyes. "So, Remus, go and be with your whore!"_

_He growled. "Sam, you've got to stop this right now or I will leave!"_

_She shrugged. "I don't care anymore! Go to your slut!"_

_He put his hands in his hair and gripped it tightly. "You've got to stop this! I want you!" She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "That's it! This conversation is over! I'm leaving!"_

_Her eyes widened as she watched him walk up to his room. "Remus, no!"_

_She cried into her hands when he was gone. Sirius walked through the portrait hole and sighed. He had just finished a detention with Filch and he was dead tired. He stopped short when he saw Sam crying. He blinked. "Sammy?" He took slow steps over to her. He touched her shoulder. She jumped and looked at him through red and puffy eyes. He stared at her. "What is it? What's wrong?" She shook her head and started crying again. He pulled her into a tight hug. He rubbed her back as she cried into his chest. "Why are you so upset? What happened to make my Sammy cry?" She let out a tiny laugh as she continued to cry. He smiled. "Come on. You can tell me. I can't hex anyone until you tell me who upset you."_

_She let out a loud sob. "I hate him, Sirius." She whispered. "He is such a jerk!"_

_Sirius blinked. "Who do you hate? Who is a jerk?" She held him closer to her. He closed his eyes as he held her. He knew he should have pulled away but it felt so good to be this close to her. He took in her scent and let out a shaky breath. "Was it James who upset you?" He whispered. She shook her head. "It wasn't me, right?" She shook her head. His smile grew. "Tell me, Sammy."_

"_Remus." She whispered. He blinked. "I hate Remus."_

_His heart started to race. He couldn't believe it. The perfect couple was _finally_ having problems. He didn't want her to be this upset but he also wanted to be with her…desperately. "Why do you hate Remus?" He muttered into her ear. He nuzzled his nose against her neck. "What did he do to make my Sammy cry?"_

_She bit her lip. "I caught him with Hannah."_

_His eyes widened. "He cheated on you?" He growled. "I'll kill him!"_

_She gulped. She was afraid this would happen if she told Sirius. She didn't want Remus to get hurt. "S-Sirius, I-I just meant I-I saw him talking to her. That's…that's all."_

_He eyed her closely. "Are you sure?" She gulped and nodded. He sighed in defeat. "Sam, you can't keep getting upset over this. It's not worth it. He has to talk to her because they are in the same classes."_

_She rubbed her eyes. "I know that but I still don't like it." He nodded slowly. "But how would you like it if someone you were in love with was with someone else or pretended to be with someone else?"_

_He stared at her intently as he thought about how he felt whenever he saw Sam with Remus. It always made him feel like he got punched in the stomach. "I hate it." She looked at him. He cleared his throat. "I-I would hate it." She nodded. He knew he should have left her alone after that but he couldn't. She was looking at him as if he was the only one who could understand her pain. He was the only one who could comfort her and make her feel better. He held her to him again. She snuggled into him. He felt lightheaded. He kissed her just below the earlobe. She shivered. He closed his eyes. "Sammy, do you still hate him?" He whispered. She nodded. He rubbed her back. "Do…uh…do you still love him?" She sighed and nodded. He sighed. "So, you…do you still want to be with him?"_

_She looked at him. "I-I love him but…I don't know if I can take feeling like this whenever I see him with Hannah." He nodded. "It makes me feel like I want to do something crazy so he'll know how it feels, you know?" He nodded. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to cry again. "I'm sorry to be crying all over you, Sirius. You don't need to deal with me being crazy."_

_He smiled into her hair. "Don't be sorry, Sammy. I don't mind. You are obviously upset over seeing him with Hannah and you need to let it out. I really don't mind being the one to comfort you." She looked at him and smiled. He wiped her eyes. "I like it better when you smile." Her smile grew. He caressed her cheek. "Did you tell Remus you were upset about him talking with Hannah?" She stared at him with wide eyes. "Sammy?"_

_She blinked. "I-I…uh…I did. He said it was nothing. I didn't believe him. We fought and…he just left." Her chin trembled. "I can't believe he just left me like that. I-I was upset and I-I told him to leave b-but I never expected him to."_

_He nodded. "I know." He pulled her back into his arms. "Sammy, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have left you no matter how upset he was." She smiled against his shoulder. He licked his lips before planting a small kiss on her neck. Her eyes widened. "You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who stays with you no matter what. Someone who will be there for you always. Someone who thinks about you constantly…who couldn't even think of being with anyone else." They stared at each other. "You deserve to be someone's everything." She smiled slowly. He caressed her cheek. "You deserve that, Sammy."_

_Her smile grew. "Do you really think so, Sirius?"_

_He smiled. "I know so, Sammy." They hugged. He kissed the corner of her mouth. She blinked. He turned his head slightly and kissed her. She pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. "What's wrong?"_

_She licked her lips. "Sirius, you shouldn't have done that."_

_His head cocked to the side. "Why not?"_

_She blinked. "R-Remus w-wouldn't like it." _

_He nodded slowly. "I see." He stared at her. "Did you like it?" She looked away from him. He held in a smile. "Did you?" She shrugged. "Sammy?"_

_She looked at him. "Why did you kiss me?"_

_He gulped. "I-I kissed you b-because…" She nodded slowly. "I-I just…" He sighed. He couldn't tell her the truth. He couldn't tell her just yet because he knew she was still in love with Remus and because she wasn't ready to hear how he felt about her just yet. "I kissed you because I…I wanted you to feel better about yourself." She nodded. "You know you can find someone else or have the option to if Remus doesn't get his head out of his ass soon enough."_

_She hugged him and giggled into his neck. He gulped down a moan. He loved when she did that. "Thank you, Sirius." He smiled. "I do feel better."_

_He stared at her. "I'm happy to hear it." He leaned in. She blinked. "Let's just make sure." The side of his mouth pressed against the side of hers. His heart raced when he felt her lips press against his. "You're doing good." He muttered. Sirius turned his head and kissed her full on the lips. Their eyes were shut tight as they kissed. He held her close to him. "How do you feel now?"_

_Sam was breathing heavily. "I feel better." He smiled. "H-How do you feel?"_

_Sirius' smile grew. "I feel great." They hugged tightly. He kissed her again._

_Remus walked down the stairs. He stopped short when he saw them together. His eyes widened. "What the hell?" They broke apart. His eyes narrowed. "Well, isn't this a cozy little scene?"_

_She gulped and shook her head aggressively. "R-Remus, no, it's not what you think!"_

_He scoffed. "It looked like my girlfriend and best friend were snogging!" Sam stared at him. Sirius sighed. "Did I somehow imagine that?"_

_He rubbed his eyes. "Mate, you need to calm down."_

_He sneered. "Don't tell me to calm down! You were just snogging my girlfriend!"_

_He glared at him. "I was comforting her because you left her when she was upset! If you would have just stayed and worked things out with her, she wouldn't need me to comfort her! If you would have listened to her and respected the fact that seeing you anywhere near Hannah upset her beyond belief, she wouldn't need me to comfort her!" Remus blinked. "Remus, you are my friend. Sam is my friend. I've jeopardized my friendship with the two of you before and I swore I would never do that again. I meant it." Sirius sighed. Helping them get back together was killing him. "I'll leave you two alone to talk." He left._

_She looked at him. "Remus-"_

_He glared at her. "Don't say it!" She blinked. "Did you tell him?"_

_She shook her head. "No, I didn't. I swore to you that I wouldn't." He sighed in relief. "Remus, nothing happened between Sirius and me."_

_He scoffed. "I'm sure you wanted something to happen with him!" She groaned. "Did you enjoy kissing him?"_

_Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know! Did you enjoy kissing and groping Hannah after you made me go to Madam Pomfrey by myself?"_

_He tried to control his breathing. "Sam, you wanted to go by yourself!"_

_She sneered. "No, I didn't! I practically begged you to go with me but you said it would be better if I went alone! Do you know how humiliating it was when Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey asked where you were? Do you know I lied and said I told you not to come?" He sighed. "I wanted you there so we could learn together if we had to deal with a major life changing event or if we were free and clear!" He nodded slowly. "But you weren't there! You were with Hannah!" She glared at him. "Did you plan it all out so you could be alone with her?"_

_He shook his head. "No, I didn't! You know that!"_

_She scoffed. "How do I know that?"_

_He gritted his teeth. "I didn't plan it, Samantha! I was drunk and she found me! I was scared about the position you put me in and we just ended up together!"_

_Her eyes widened. "The position I put you in?" He groaned. She pushed him. "It took the two of us to be put in that position! Don't go putting the blame all on me, Remus John Lupin!"_

_He glared at her. "If I didn't do what I did, you wouldn't have been able to snog Sirius!" He pushed her. "Did you enjoy it, Sammy? Was it everything you imagined it to be?" He pushed her again. "Come on! Tell me! How was it?"_

_She slapped him. "He was better than you!" His body stilled as he glared at her. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you needed to hear so it will make it easier for you to leave me for Hannah? Because I know that that's what you want to do! You want to leave me without guilt so you can be with that slut!"_

_He grabbed her. "That's not what I want!" Her eyes widened. "Do you honestly believe I would be guilt free? You wouldn't let me forget what I did! You'd make me pay for it like you are doing now!"_

_She stared at him with watery eyes. "What did you just say?" He let her go and sighed. "H-Have you thought about leaving me for her?" He gulped as he shook his head. She looked down at the ground. "I-I…"_

_He looked at her. "You've thought about leaving me for Sirius." He muttered._

_She shook her head. "No, I haven't!" She glared at him. "Well, you can have it your way! Go be with your slut guilt free! I won't stand in your way!"_

_Remus gritted his teeth. "Will you stop doing this? I'm in love with you, Sam! I don't want to leave you but I will if you keep this up!" Her eyes watered as she shrugged. "Fine! Have it your way!"_

_Sam watched him as he went to the stairs. "That's right! Just leave!" He stopped and turned around. "It's what you want!" He sighed. "I don't want you to leave but that's what you want!" He shook his head. "I'm in love with you too, Remus! I want to be with only you!" She rubbed her eyes. "I just want you to realize how much you've hurt me and continue to hurt me whenever you are around her!" He took a step towards her. "Remus, I love you! I don't want anyone else! Why don't you get that?"_

_He stood in front of her. "What about Sirius?"_

_She sighed. "He is just my friend." He nodded slowly. "He was just trying to stop me from crying all over him. He was just trying to comfort me. That's all."_

_He caressed her cheek and sighed. "I'm sorry I left you, Sammy." She nodded slowly. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Sammy. I never want to hurt you." He pulled her to him and held her. "I hate that I hurt you and that I continue to do so." He closed his eyes and took in her scent. "I love you so much, Sammy."_

_She tightened her hold on him. "I love you so much too, Remus." He smiled into her hair. "I'm sorry you thought I wanted Sirius." He nodded. They looked at each other and kissed. "I just want you, Remus."_

_They kissed again. "I want you too, Sammy."_

_She looked at him. "You don't want Hannah, do you, Remus?"_

_He hesitated and she felt a pain in her chest. "I-I…" Her chin trembled. She knew that he wanted Hannah ever since she caught them together and his hesitation confirmed whatever lingering doubt she had. Their time together was over just as soon as she found it in herself to let him go. She sighed. Their second anniversary was a week away and she couldn't believe she was going to lose him. He gave her a slight smile. It didn't reach his eyes. She knew he wasn't as happy with her as he usually was. She knew he still loved her but it wasn't enough anymore. "No, I don't want Hannah, Sammy. I just want you."_

_She closed her eyes and sighed. She couldn't believe he just lied to her about something so important. She reached up and kissed him slowly. "I love you, Remus."_

_He kissed her back. "I love you too, Sammy." They kissed again._

Andrew sighed. "Are you ready to let go of Remus, Sam?" She looked at him and nodded. "You know what to do."

Sam looked up at the Remus balloon and sighed. "I heart you, Remus. I always will but this is something that I have to do." She took a deep breath and let go of his balloon. "Goodbye, Remus." She whispered.

He looked at her. "Who do you want to let go of next?"

She shrugged. "I think I want to choose Sirius." He blinked in surprise before he nodded. "I pick Sirius."

He smiled slightly. "You always do." He muttered. "Before you start, is there a specific reason why you chose Sirius?"

She shrugged. "I don't know really. It just seems like the right choice." He smiled and nodded. "I think…I _know_ that it is time to let go of the bad memories I share with Sirius. I know I told him that we couldn't be together anymore because I saw that stupid fake world." His smile grew. "But since I had that vision of him being killed and all the time we've been spending together…I need to move on from all the pain and…I need to give our marriage a real shot." He stared at her in surprise. He wasn't expecting her to say that. He knew that once Sirius found out her intentions he would be ecstatic. "We got married because we didn't want to be apart and because we care for each other. I left him because I was upset by what he told me. I needed to leave then. I need to stay now."

He smiled. "That is a wise decision, Sam." She smiled and shrugged. "You can start whenever you are ready."

She held onto the string attached to the Sirius balloon and stared at it. "Sirius-"

The door to the astronomy tower flew open and Frank ran over to her. "Sam!" He bent over to try and catch his breath. Sam and Andrew stared at him with wide eyes. "Sirius…you…need…hurt…now!"

Sam blinked. "What is it, Frank? What's wrong?" She bent down to look at him. "Does Sirius think I'm hurt?" He shook his head. "What is it? Just tell me! You're scaring me, Frank!"

He took a deep breath and looked at her. "Sirius left the common room. He couldn't wait for you." She blinked. "He was walking down the hall and someone attacked him!" Her eyes widened. "Remus found him. They sent him to St. Mungo's. Dumbledore sent me to find you."

She couldn't breathe. "W-What?" She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her. "Frank, how bad is he hurt?"

He gulped. "It's bad, Sammy."

"Is he dead?"

He shook his head. "No, he isn't. He was still breathing but it doesn't look good." Her body shook with terror. She was pale. "Dumbledore said that you can use his office to get there. McGonagall is waiting for you there."

Andrew grabbed her arm. "Come on, Sam! I'll go with you!"

Sam followed him with Frank following behind them. "He has to be OK. He has to be OK." She muttered. She shook out of her daze and couldn't stand the slow pace they were walking. "We have to move faster! Sirius is in trouble and he needs me!" They stared at her in surprise. "I'm not going to walk while my husband is in trouble! Let's go!" She hitched up her dress and glared at them. "Let's go! Run!" They followed her as she ran like a bat out of hell to Dumbledore's office and mentally prayed that Sirius would be alright.


	87. Author's Note

Dear Readers,

I want to start off by saying that I have appreciated each and every one of you for sticking by this story over the years. It means more to me than you will ever know.

OK, I received a review/comment/flame (whatever you want to call it) on the latest chapter and the content in said review/comment/flame surprised me at first. This person started out liking the story but over time, they stopped. No, I'm not calling this person out or acting like they are wrong and crazy for their opinion. I've already sent a message to this person thanking them for their opinion because it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Many moons ago, I had a simple idea for a story. I had a good idea, at least I think it was a good idea, and decided to put pen to paper. As months wore on, I started having idea after idea about where the story should go and I used practically all the ideas that came to me. Instead of weeding out some ideas and some characters, I put it all in and made something so simple into something so complicated. I had such a passion and deep love for this story. I thought about it all the time. I was borderline obsessed. Scary, I know.

For the past year or two, I have lost the passion and love for this story that has meant so much to me. I just forced out certain chapters because I just wanted to get it out of the way so I could do something else. I've felt this way for a while but I was too lazy to do anything about it. That was wrong of me. You, as readers, the characters, and even I, on some small scale, deserve better. We've spent a lot of time and energy on this story. I'm making this sound so serious when it's really not. Forgive me.

I'm trying to say that I was losing interest in something I loved and devoted a lot of time to. This reviewer made me see what I was doing and they have inspired me to redo the story. I want to thank them again for this. I have talked this over with my previous beta/best friend. She has agreed to go over the story with me and help me redo it. I hope you all are not terribly upset with us over this decision but, I believe, it needs to be done. We, my beta/best friend and I, want to go back to the drawing board and find the story we originally set out to create.

I will be posting the last two chapters I've written for this story before we begin to rewrite so you can see where the story was going to go.

If you have any questions/comments/ideas, you can send them our way. Even if you want to tell us to go to hell for wasting your time, we will be glad to read that too.

Thank you again for everything. I really do appreciate you all.

Angellove727.


	88. Chapter 85: Family Matters

Chapter 85: Family Matters.

* * *

The healers were in and out of the room while James, Lily, his parents, Remus, and Dumbledore waited in the corner of the room. James let out a shaky breath and rubbed his eyes. "I can't believe this happened." He muttered. He looked at Remus. "Are you sure you didn't see anyone around when you found him?"

Remus sighed. "It's like I told Professor Dumbledore. I was patrolling and smelled smoke. I got Professor McGonagall. We ran to the fire…and Sirius was…he was screaming." They went pale. "W-We put him out. I stayed with him while Professor McGonagall got Professor Dumbledore. You, Lily, Frank, and Alice showed up. That's all I know." Remus looked at the ground and sighed. "I should have kept an eye on him. Sam warned us something might happen to him…but…we didn't listen." He shook his head. "I should have kept a closer eye on him."

James sighed. "We all should have."

Dumbledore stared at them. "Did you say Samantha warned you about what would happen?" They nodded. "Did she have a vision?" They nodded again. "Tell me what she saw."

Lily took a deep breath. "She said that she saw Sirius walking down the hallway on Valentine's Day looking for her. Someone came up behind him and wanted him to pay for something he did. This person tortured him, set him on fire, and killed him." Evelyn and Harold gasped. "Sam was frantic. She has stayed by his side to make sure it didn't happen."

Harold looked at her. "Why wasn't she there when it happened?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Samantha had to go to a session with her counselor."

She nodded. "That's right. Before she left, she made Sirius swear he would stay in the common room until she came back. He must have gotten restless and left."

Evelyn let out a shaky breath. "I can't believe this." They looked at her. "I…" She wiped her watery eyes. "Who would want to hurt Sirius?"

They shrugged. Lily gasped. "Do you think it was Michael?" They looked at her in surprise. "Sirius was the reason why Sam and Michael were attacked." They nodded slowly. "Sam told me after dinner that Michael asked her to hang out tonight but Sirius put a stop to it and mocked Michael for asking out a married woman until he left in a huff." She shrugged. "Also, you have to remember all the years Michael has been in love with Sammy and Sirius tortured him for it because…well…you all know why." They nodded. "Maybe Michael finally snapped and attacked Sirius."

James stared at her. "Do you really think Michael could have done this?"

She shrugged. "Anything is possible, James. Anyone, except us, can be a suspect right now."

Dumbledore sighed. "Lily is right, James. We must explore every possibility." They sighed. "Once Sirius awakens, he will tell us who his attacker was."

Remus shook his head. "I can't believe Michael would do this. I know I am not his biggest fan but I can't see him doing this. He would never risk Sam hating him. No matter how much Michael hates Sirius, he would never risk his place in Sam's life. He knows she would never forgive him and she would do everything in her power to make him pay."

The healer walked over to them. "He is sedated. He can have visitors but make sure you don't stay long. He needs all the rest he can get." They sighed in relief and nodded. "Which one of you is family?"

Evelyn smiled. "His wife is on her way but we are all his family." She touched Harold's shoulder. "We're his parents."

He nodded. "I see. You can visit with him now. When his wife arrives, I will explain everything to her."

They followed him to Sirius' bed and smiled. He blinked at them. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Evelyn asked in a low voice. His eyebrow rose. She let out a nervous laugh. "Silly question."

Sirius licked his lips. "W-Where…where's Sammy?" He croaked out.

Harold smiled. "Sammy is on her way, son. Don't worry. She'll be here soon enough."

He coughed. "I-Is she ok?"

James nodded. "Sammy is fine, Padfoot. She is probably worrying herself sick over you." Lily and Evelyn nudged him. He looked confused. "What? We all know she is!" They rolled their eyes. Realization dawned on him. "Oh! You didn't want me to say that because he would get upset!" They looked at him as if he was the dumbest person in the world and nodded. He blushed. "Oops!"

They turned their heads when they heard a commotion outside in the hall. "Get out of my way!" Sam yelled. "My husband is in there and no one is going to stop me from seeing him, you little twit!"

Sirius smiled faintly. "I hear the dulcet tones of my wife's voice." They laughed lightly. "I hope whoever she is threatening moves out of her way soon."

"Why would I lie about being married to him, you moron? Of course I am married to him! Get out of my way or I'll hex you back into nappies!" They laughed. "I swear on all that is holy in this world that I will hurt you if you don't move!" Their eyes widened when they heard a loud thud against the door. "I told you to move! You have no one to blame but yourself!" They looked at each other in surprise. "Thank you, Andrew! You heard him! Move out of the way now, you little twit!" Sam came into the room with Andrew trailing behind her. She didn't see anyone as she made her way over to Sirius' bed. They moved out of her way. Sam stood over him and smiled. Sirius smiled at her. She took his bandaged hand and held it gently. "Hi Baby." She whispered. "How are you feeling?"

Sirius' smile grew. "I feel fine. I'm glad you're here." She smiled. "How was your session?" She shrugged. "You should be proud of me, Sammy. I stayed in the common room all night waiting for you like a good little husband." She let out a tiny laugh and nodded. "I missed you, Sammy."

Her smile grew. "I missed you too, Sirius." She kissed his forehead. "I couldn't wait to come back here and spend time with my husband." He closed his eyes and sighed happily. "There's no one else in the world I'd want to spend tonight with but you, Baby."

He yawned. "I don't want anyone but you." She kissed his forehead again. "I love you, Sammy."

She leaned in and whispered. "I heart you too, Sirius." He fell asleep. She looked up and blinked. She was surprised to see everyone there. "What happened to him?"

The healer looked at her. "Mrs. Black?"She looked at him. "I will tell you of your husband's condition but first, I must say I am disgusted that you abused a member of my staff. There was no need to verbally abuse anyone."

She stared at him closely. Everyone, including Dumbledore, took a step back. They knew what was coming. Her head cocked to the side. "Is that right?" She asked in a calm voice. The healer nodded curtly. Sam reached over and grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her. His eyes widened. "I will abuse, physically or verbally, anyone I see fit if they try to keep me from my husband whether he is healthy or injured!" He gulped. "That moronic git you let work here questioned my marriage and blocked me from seeing my husband! She is lucky I didn't punch the vacant look out of her eyes!" He started to stutter. "No one will keep me from my husband ever! Do you understand me, you pathetic excuse for a man?" He nodded quickly. "Now, you will save the lecture, grow a pair, man up, and tell me what the hell is wrong with my husband or I will make you cry just like I did with that twit outside!" She let him go. He stumbled. "Start talking or leave!"

He straightened his tie and let out a shaky breath. The others hid their smiles. "Y-Your husband h-had been hexed. He was burned all over his body." She paled. "W-We put a healing potion over his wounds and bandaged him. W-We also sedated him. He will need to stay here for a few days…possibly longer before he is healed. He will possibly need to use a walking device for a short amount of time before he can walk on his own."

She let out a shaky breath and nodded slowly. "But…but he won't die, right?" He nodded. She sighed in relief. "Ok, that's…that's good." She looked at him. "So, what's next?" He looked confused. "What happens next?"

He sighed. "Mr. Black stays here until he is healed enough to go back to school. We will continue applying the healing potion to his wounds and bandage them until he doesn't need them anymore. He will need to use a painkiller potion otherwise he will be in excruciating pain and will only get worse. He will have to be stress free. He can not do anything strenuous." His eyebrow rose as he stared at her. "Do you understand me, Mrs. Black?"

James snorted. "You, obviously, don't know what's going on with them." They stared at him with smirks. The healer looked at him in confusion. "Sam, why don't you tell him?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yes, thank you, James. I will." She looked at the healer. "Sirius and I…" She took a deep breath and tried to stop the blush that was creeping up her neck. "We are not sexually active." She grunted out. He looked at her with disbelieving eyes. Her eyes narrowed. "If you must know, I was attacked at school before we were married. After…after we were married, I came here. When I returned, I had and still do have trouble with being touched. So, you don't have to worry about Sirius doing that." The healer appeared not to believe her. "Look, I don't care if you don't believe me! You can ask my counselor, Alan Finklebot, you can ask Sirius' counselor, Andrew Roberts, or you can ask anyone of them! Merlin knows Sirius has whined enough to them about me not touching him!" They nodded eagerly. The healer blinked. "I don't care what you think of me because you see like an incompetent git to me!" Their eyes widened. "All I care about is that you take care of my husband!" His eyes narrowed. "Now, I am going to stay here and help with his recovery." She looked at Dumbledore. "If that is alright with you, sir?"

Dumbledore smiled and nodded. "It is alright, Samantha. You may stay here with your husband. I would not have expected any thing less from you." Sam smiled. "I will have your assignments sent here." Sam nodded. He looked at the healer. "I expect that Mr. Black will be treated with the best care available and Mrs. Black with be shown the utmost respect while they are both here." The healer gulped and nodded. He smiled. "Very good."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, sir." Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "Will Sirius be out for long?"

He rubbed his eyes. "Your husband will be out-" Sirius groaned. They stared at him. Sirius started to shake before screaming. Their eyes widened. The healer ran out of the room before coming back in with other healers. He looked at them. "You will need to leave while we treat him."

She shook her head. "I'm not leaving him!" Evelyn touched her arm. "Mama, he needs me! I can't leave him!"

Evelyn sighed. "You won't be leaving him, Sammy. We will be just outside. Let the healers help him." They ushered her out and closed the door behind them. Sam paced. "Sammy, he will be alright." Sam stopped and looked at her. "Why don't you sit down here with me?" Sam took a deep breath and nodded before sitting down next to her mother. Evelyn put her arm around her shoulders. "He will be ok, Sammy."

She looked at her. "What happened, Mama?" Evelyn sighed. "What happened to him?"

Remus sighed. "Sirius was getting restless. He must have left while I was upstairs getting a book." She nodded slowly. "I went to patrol and smelled smoke." She gulped. "I…I went to get Professor McGonagall. We found Sirius. He was on fire." She paled. "He was screaming." Her chin trembled. "We put him out. We got him here. That's all." He looked at her. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

Her head cocked to the side. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I should have kept a closer eye on him. I should have taken your vision more seriously. If I did, this wouldn't have happened." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She stood up and knelt down in front of him. "Remus, you have no reason to be sorry." He shook his head. She held his hand in hers. "I don't blame you for this. I don't blame Sirius for wandering off. I don't blame anyone except for the person that did this." She hugged him. He rubbed her back. "I don't blame you, Remus. You are a great friend to us. You would have done everything to protect him. I know you would have. You saved him. I will always be grateful to you for that."

He stared at her. "Do you mean that, Sammy?" She nodded. "Thank you." She smiled. "And, thank you for hugging me."

Her smile grew. "I hug the ones I care about." He smiled. "He will be ok, Remus. I know he will be."

James sighed. "Sam, I'm sorry too." She looked at him in confusion. "I should have listened to you. I wouldn't have gone ahead with my plans tonight if I listened to you."

Sam stared at him closely. "Your plans?" He nodded. Her eyes widened as she gasped. "I completely forgot! Did you go through with it?" He nodded. "And…?" Lily showed her the ring. Sam hugged her tightly. "This is wonderful! Congratulations!" Lily beamed. "I can't believe we're finally going to be sisters!" The girls hugged again. "Sirius will be so excited when you tell him!" They smiled. She turned to James and stuck out her hand. He took it. She put her other hand on his shoulder. He did the same in return. "Congratulations, James. I hope the two of you have a lifetime of happiness." He smiled in surprise. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You'll make a great husband, James." He blinked. "I know you will." She said with a wink.

He looked at her. "Thank you, Sam." He squeezed her shoulder. "This…we are getting closer to hugging." She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Thanks again for your blessing."

She smiled. "Anytime."

Evelyn hugged Lily. "Welcome to the family, Lily." She smiled in response. "We are so happy for the both of you." Evelyn hugged James. "You hit the jackpot when you got her to go out with you." They laughed. James nodded and blushed. "The two of you will be so happy!"

Harold hugged Lily and James. "I'm happy for both of you." They smiled. "When's the big day?"

They looked at each other and shrugged. "No idea." They said in unison.

Everyone continued to congratulate them on their engagement. Alan walked down the hall and stopped when he saw Sam with her family. "Sam?" She turned her head. He stood in front of her. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

Sam looked at him. "Didn't you hear?" He shook his head. "Sirius was attacked." His eyes widened. "He was…he was hexed and set on fire." He blinked. "He had…he was sedated but then, he started to scream. They are working on him now."

Alan sighed and hugged her. She hugged him back. "Sirius will be fine, Sam." She nodded. He smiled at her. "Do you want me to go and check in on him?"

She sighed in relief. "I would appreciate that. The healer taking care of him seems like a raging git." Alan laughed. "I'm grateful that you're here." He smiled. "I really need your support right now." Harold felt like he had been punched in the stomach. His daughter was looking at this man, this stranger, like he could do anything. This stranger was her rock and he, her father, was being cast aside. "Thank you. I will feel better if you check on him. I trust what you say."

He nodded. "I know. Don't worry, Sam. I'll make sure he has the best care available." He went into Sirius' room. Sam waited anxiously. He stepped out and sighed. "Sirius had an adverse reaction to the potion he was given." She gulped. "They are still working on him."

She let out a shaky breath. "He's going to be alright, isn't he?"

He sighed. "He should be fine. You just need to let them finish working on him."

Her chin trembled. "Sirius can't die, Alan."

He smiled. "He won't die, Sam. I promise he won't."

Harold watched this _Alan_ person closely. He didn't like him one bit. It seemed to him that _Alan_ was trying to take over the role of Sam's father and Harold didn't like it. He knew Sam and he were going through a tough time but no one would be able to take over being her father. Harold was, is, and always will be Sam's father. "You shouldn't be here." He grunted. Everyone stopped and stared at him. "Sammy, this is too much for you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from Alan. "You know you can't handle this. You aren't strong enough. I think it would be best if you left." She pulled away from him. "Sammy, you know you aren't capable of handling this."

She looked at him incredulously. "What in the hell are you talking about? I'm not leaving!" He rolled his eyes and sighed. "And, don't call me 'Sammy'! You don't have that right anymore!"

He blinked. "What do you mean I don't have the right? I've been calling you 'Sammy' since the day you were born!"

She glared at him. "People that I care about and who care about me call me 'Sammy'! You are in neither category! I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me that but since it is obvious you don't care about what I want-"

His eyes narrowed. "How can you say that I don't care about what you want? You know what I did to make you happy!" The others looked confused. Alan sighed and shook his head as Sam gritted her teeth. "So, you can stop thinking that crap right now!" She rolled her eyes. "I said you're leaving!"

She growled. "I don't care what you say! I'm not leaving!"

He growled. "Yes, you are! You know you can't handle this! We all know you can't!"

Her eyes widened. "You don't know anything! I am not leaving!"

Alan stepped in between them. "Mr. Potter?" Harold grunted in response as he continued to glare at Sam. "I know you are worried about your daughter's well-being-" Sam scoffed. "But I have been working with Samantha since her second stay here and I believe she is quite capable of handling this situation."

He turned his head and eyed him closely. "Is that right?" He asked in a calm voice. The others held in a groan. They knew what was coming since they just witnessed the same thing a few moments ago but with Sam asking that question. This would not end well. Alan nodded. "Well, _Alan_, I could give a flying fuck about what you believe when it concerns _my_ daughter!" Alan's eyebrow rose. "I know what _my_ daughter is capable of handling and this isn't it!"

He let out a tiny laugh and shook his head. "Obviously, you don't know what you are talking about." Harold growled. "Sam is a lot stronger than you give her credit for! She's made incredible progress and-!"

He laughed sarcastically. "She's made incredible progress?" Alan nodded curtly. "I have no idea how you became a healer or why my wife and daughter think so highly of you because it is obvious you have your head up your ass!" Alan's eyes widened. Sam let out a muffled groan. "Weren't you her healer when she tried to-" Sam gasped and yelled out in protest. Harold ignored her. "Kill herself?"

Remus stared at her. Sam was pale. "What?" She gulped. "Sammy, is what your Dad said true?" She bit her lip. He blinked. "S-Sammy?"

She looked down at the ground in shame. "It's true, Remus." He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

He couldn't believe it. "W-What would make you do something like that? Why…why would you try to do something like that?" Harold held in a groan. He thought everyone knew. She stared at him. He held her hands. "Please, tell me, Sammy. Talk to me."

She let out a shaky breath. "I-I heard about what happened on the train with Sirius and Sarah." He nodded slowly. "I-I lost it. He…Sirius had promised me that he would never cheat on me again." Harold sighed. "Remus, you have to understand that I lost my brother, my father, and my trust in my husband in a matter of hours!" Remus nodded. Harold had a pained look on his face. He knew Sirius wasn't the only reason why she tried to kill herself but it still hurt to hear it. She sighed. "I knew even though I left him, I still had Sirius on my side but…I thought I lost him to Sarah _again_. I couldn't take it." She sighed again. "I know that those are just excuses. I know I shouldn't have done it but at the time, I couldn't see past my own pain." She looked at him. "Mama and Lily have forgiven me. Can you forgive me, Remus?"

He sighed. "You don't need my forgiveness, Sammy." He muttered.

She nodded. "Yes, I do. Remus, you know how much you mean to me and how much I care for you." He nodded slowly. "I don't want you to hate me because of a terrible mistake I made." He caressed her cheek. "Can you ever forgive me?"

He stared at her closely. "Was it a one time mistake?" She nodded eagerly. "Do you regret it?" She nodded again. He pulled her into a tight hug. "You can't do it ever again, Sammy." He whispered in her ear. "I couldn't bear to lose you like that and over such a stupid reason." She held him tightly. He gulped. "Nothing is worth that." She nodded. He kissed her forehead. "I forgive you, Sammy."

She smiled. "Do you mean it?" He nodded. She hugged him. "Thank you, Remus." He smiled. "I swear it will never happen again." His smile grew. She looked at him. "I am sorry for what I did and it really won't happen again. Thanks to Alan I know I don't have to do that ever again." Alan smiled and shrugged. "I do have one request though." They looked at her. "Sirius…he doesn't know about this." James, Evelyn, and Harold shared a look. "I'd appreciate it if no one told him." They nodded. She glared at Harold. "Especially from _you_!" Harold blinked. "You had no right to air out my business for all to see!" He stuttered. "Sirius can't know! It would kill him and I can't bear to hurt him! So, keep your mouth shut!" Alan excused himself when a nurse called for him. His departure went unnoticed.

His eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?" She rolled her eyes. "I won't tell him!" She nodded. "I don't know why you are even pretending to care about his feelings!" She looked at him oddly. "You left him! Why should you care about him now?" Evelyn groaned. "You got married for one reason and we all know what it was! You left him after you got what you wanted! Don't start pretending you actually care about him now!"

She sneered. "I got married to him because I care about him and to stop you from sending me here!"

He scoffed. "That's what you say but I know that isn't true! You wound up here anyway!" She growled. "You claim to care for him and you claim to have left him for what he did but you know that's not true! You got what you wanted from him and used any excuse to leave him!"

She choked out a laugh. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Evelyn looked at James and nodded towards the others. James nodded in response. They both knew that this fight would get ugly and, possibly, violent. If Harold pushed the subject anymore, Sam would tell him everything just so she could hurt him. "Albus?" Dumbledore smiled at her. "Would you mind taking Remus and Lily down to the tea room before things…escalate?" He nodded. "Thank you."

Remus looked at her. "Mrs. Potter, we don't want to leave. We want to hear about Sirius." Lily nodded. "Can't we stay too?"

She sighed before smiling. "Remus, you and Lily are a part of our family and you may stay in the hospital." He smiled. "But the two of you need to leave this area for a while…until they stop fighting." They sighed. "The two of you know Sammy very well." She whispered. "If Harold keeps pushing her, she will tell him everything." They looked confused. She leaned in and whispered. "Remus, do you want to be here when Sam, eventually, tells her father that she lost her virginity at thirteen…to _you_?" His eyes widened as he choked. "I didn't think so." He nodded dumbly. "Lily, I'm sending you with him so he will have some company." Lily nodded. "Once they are done and Harold gets over the urge to murder Remus," He gulped. "We will send for you." They nodded and left. Evelyn went to stand next to James. "I hope this ends soon. I also hope that…I just hope that this fight doesn't ruin their relationship anymore than it already is ruined."

James nodded. "I hope so too, Mum, but it's not looking good."

Sam glared at him. "Don't you listen? I left him because of what he did! I didn't marry him to get what I wanted!"

Harold scoffed. "I don't believe you! You were curious and used him!" She groaned. "You don't care for him! If you did, you would have stayed no matter what!" She sneered. "Just admit you married him because you were curious about _sex_!" He grumbled out the last word as if it disgusted him. "Weren't you curious, _Sammy_? Isn't that why you ran off with him and eloped?"

She pushed him away when he got in her face. "Will you stop saying that to me? Will you stop asking me that stupid question?" He growled as he shook his head. "I married Sirius because I care for him! I've always cared for him! I've always wanted to marry him! I didn't marry him because of any stupid curiosity! I had nothing to be curious about!"

He blinked. "What is that supposed to mean?" Evelyn and James groaned. Sam rolled her eyes. "Answer me, Samantha!"

She glared at him. "Do you really want to know?" He nodded. "Well, Harold, I'll tell you!" Harold sneered as he motioned for her to continue. "I knew all about sex before I married Sirius!"

He blinked again. "Y-You…you had sex with him before you married him?"

She smirked and nodded. "Yes, I did!" His eyebrow rose. "But there's more!" He nodded dumbly. "I not only slept with Sirius but I slept with Remus!" She continued to smirk. "I lost my virginity at thirteen to Remus! I lost it _long_ before I even went out with Sirius!" She leaned in and whispered. "I only waited two weeks after getting with Sirius before I slept with him, just so you know." Her eyes narrowed. "And, I enjoyed every single second of _sex_ with them!" She looked at him. "Did I also mention that I thought I was pregnant in my fifth year?"

Evelyn groaned. "Sammy, you shouldn't have said that."

James shook his head. "There's no way in hell that this will end well now."

Harold stared at his daughter dumbly. He felt like he was in a daze. He couldn't wrap his mind around what she just told him. Sam turned to Evelyn and James. "Mama, James, I'm sorry I told him that. I never meant to." They sighed and nodded. "He just made me so angry and…I couldn't seem to stop myself."

She nodded. "We know, Sammy. It's alright." James nodded in agreement. "He…he seems to be taking the news well…surprisingly."

He eyed his father closely. "Yes, he does." Harold's eyes widened as his face turned red. Her words finally sunk in. James groaned. "It looks like we spoke too soon."

He stared at them. "The two of you knew about this all along?" They nodded slowly. He looked at Sam and he felt an overwhelming rage course through his body. His body started to shake. "Samantha?" She turned her head to look at him. He stared at his daughter, his little girl, and he gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it but he did. He knew she was telling the truth and it gnawed on his insides. Before he could stop himself, he slapped her. Sam blinked. Evelyn and James stared at him in shock. "How could you?" He slapped her again with all the force he could. She stumbled and almost fell over. James caught her before she could fall. His flush grew. Sam pulled away from James. Harold couldn't stand looking at her. He couldn't stop himself. He pulled his arm back and slapped her again so hard that this time, James didn't have a chance to catch her and Sam fell to the ground. "You little slut!" Sam stared at him with wide eyes. She couldn't believe he called her that. Harold towered over her. "Slut!"

He helped his sister up and stood in front of her. He pushed his father away when Harold tried to get past him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He pushed him again. "Where the hell do you get off hitting her like that? You had no right!"

He glared at him. "Yes, I did! She deserved it! We raised her better than that!" He sneered at his daughter. "After what you did-!"

He rolled his eyes. "We know what she's done! We know it and we don't care! She's still the same person!" Harold growled. "You had no right to hit her for doing something that everyone does!"

His eyes narrowed. "You don't do that!"

He shrugged. "That's true. I don't but I'm waiting for Lily." Harold smirked. "It still doesn't excuse you hitting her!" Harold tried to push him out of the way but James stood his ground. "You are _not_ going to hit my sister ever again! Do you understand me?" James pushed him and Harold stumbled back. "Don't even think about going near her!"

Evelyn stared at him like he was something stuck on the bottom of her shoe. Harold shifted uncomfortably. "Harold, how could you do that? You swore to me that you would never hit her again!" He sighed. "And now, you are attacking both of our children!"

He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Evelyn, I know I promised you that but…she deserved it after what she's done!"

James growled. "Sam didn't do anything wrong!" Harold stared at him. "The father I thought I had would never hit his own daughter over something like this!"

Harold growled. "She deserves it! She's a spoiled little brat that sluts around!"

His eyes bulged out of his head. "She is not a spoiled brat that sluts around! How could you even think that? She was in love with Remus so she slept with him! She loves Sirius and she slept with him when she was able to! Big fucking deal!" Harold sneered. "And, we know she isn't selfish! We know what she has to do for us!"

Her eyes widened. "Y-You know?" He nodded. "H-How do you know?"

He sighed. "Sam told me." She nodded slowly. "Before she did that vow of silence thing, she had a session with Alan and he asked me to attend. Sam and I fought through most of it. Alan made her tell and she did…because she thought I wouldn't care." He sighed again. "I hit Sam too…and I regret it." Evelyn nodded. He glared at his father. "Sam didn't deserve it then and she doesn't deserve it now!" Harold blinked. "You can't…you won't hit her again! If you try, I'll stop you!" Harold's eyebrow rose. "I will stop you!" Harold laughed. "You don't think I will, do you?" He shook his head in response. James went to punch him but Sam held onto his arm. He looked at her in confusion. "What are you doing?"

Sam stared at him. "You can't hit him, James." He blinked. "He was upset by what I told him." Harold and Evelyn looked at her in surprise. She turned to look at her father. Harold's eyes widened. She looked at him as if she loathed the very sight of him and he couldn't take it. "Harold?" He gulped and nodded. "I am sorry for telling you about…all that." He nodded slowly. "I shouldn't have told you that the way I did or at all." He gave her a small smile. She sneered. "But you had no right to hit me!"

Harold rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did! What you did-!"

Her head cocked to the side. "What I did?" He nodded. "What about what you did to our mother?"

She looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about, Sammy?"

She glared at Harold. "You cheated on Mama just like Remus and Sirius cheated on me!" He paled. Evelyn gasped. "So, don't go judging me after what you did!"

She took a deep breath. "Sammy, how do you know about that? Who told you?"

She bit her lip. "Grandma told me."

Harold scoffed. "You're lying! Your grandmother died before you were born! How could she have told you?"

Sam shrugged. "I completed my vow of silence and I had a vision with her in it." James and Harold stared at her in surprise. Evelyn smiled. "She told me all about her life. She explained some things that upset me. She told me everything."

Evelyn touched her arm. Sam looked at her. "You met her?" Sam nodded slowly. "I-Is…is she alright?" Sam smiled and nodded. "Was grandpa there?" Sam sighed and shook her head. "Did…did she mention me at all?"

He groaned. "Evelyn, don't tell me you believe this crap!"

She ignored her father and smiled at her mother. "Yes, she did." Evelyn stared at her expectantly. "She said you were the greatest thing that ever happened to her. She said she was proud of you. She lo…lo…cares for you very much." Evelyn's chin trembled. "She said she wished that the two of you were as close as we are."

She kissed her cheek. "I wish the same thing."

He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you fell for that crap! She is obviously lying!"

She sneered. "I'm not lying!" He rolled his eyes again. "If I'm lying then how did I know you cheated on Mama?"

He shrugged. "Your mother, James, or Sirius could have told you."

Evelyn shook her head. "I never told her."

James shook his head. "I never said a word and I know Sirius didn't. He wants the two of you to make up and he wouldn't want to risk upsetting Sam like that." Harold blinked. "So, the only way Sam could have found out is if Grandma told her."

Sam looked at her father and smirked. "And, she called you a jackass!" He glared at her. "You can't judge me for my past after what you did! Mama deserves better than you!" His eyes narrowed. "I bet you cheated on her more than once! I bet you're still cheating on her!"

He growled. "I made a mistake one time and I never regretted anything more!" Sam rolled her eyes. "Except having you!" Sam laughed. "And, I'm not cheating on your mother! I will never do that to her again!"

She scoffed. "You are no better than my own husband! The two of you have trouble keeping it in your pants!"

His eyes widened. "Don't you dare talk to me like that, Samantha!" He sneered. "It sounds as if you are having another break down!" She gasped. "Should we hide the sharp objects in case you are tempted to end it all again?"

Evelyn slapped him. He stared at her in surprise. "How dare you? How dare you say that to her?" He opened his mouth to apologize but she slapped him again before he could utter a word. "Don't joke about that! You weren't there! You weren't the one that found her!" He gulped. Evelyn was shaking with anger. Sam and James had pained looks on their faces. "You…you didn't hold her in your arms as she was covered in blood begging me to kill her!" Harold paled. "You didn't scream for help when our daughter passed out…while thinking she died in your arms!" Her chin trembled. "So…don't you dare joke about that, Harold Ambrose Potter!" She cried into her hands. "You were so upset when I told you! I-I…you cried when you realized how close we were to losing our daughter!" He looked away from her. "But now, you hit her, call her names, and tell her you regret having her!" She pushed him. He stumbled. "Don't you ever do that to her again! Don't joke about her trying to kill herself! Don't joke about the fact that in two years time she will die! Don't you dare!"

Sam touched her shoulder. Evelyn looked at her. "Mama?" She held mother as she cried. "I'm sorry, Mama." She whispered. "I never meant to hurt you, Mummy. I never meant for any of this to happen." Sam's eyes watered. "Please, forgive me, Mummy. I'm so very sorry. Please, forgive me, Mama. I swear, I'll never do it again. I promise. Please, forgive me."

She nodded as her chin trembled. "I forgive you, Sammy. I-I…I do forgive you. It was just hard…I-I…"

She rubbed her back. "I know, Mummy. I know." Evelyn held onto her as if her life depended upon it. She missed hugging her daughter. "It's going to be ok, Mama. It's all over now. You don't have to worry about me doing that again." Sam glared at Harold as she held onto her mother. "I won't have anymore break downs. I won't try…that again. You don't have to worry about that ever again. I'm stronger now. I can handle anything."

She looked at her and smiled. "I know you are." Sam smiled in response. "I love you, Sammy."

She let out a deep breath. "I lo…heart you too, Mama."

She pulled James over to them. "I love you, James."

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, Mama."

She looked at her children. "The two of you are the greatest things to ever happen to me." They smiled. "It pains me to know that you aren't getting along."

He sighed. "I know, Mama."

She looked at them and smiled. "Don't worry, Mama. I'm sure James and I will be fine one day." James looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "You defended me and it may have earned you some brownie points." He beamed. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I said 'may have'."

He smirked. "All I heard was that I earned brownie points with you and I know we are getting closer to hugging." She laughed. "That's good enough for me."

She laughed. "You are such a git, Jimmybean." Their eyes widened and they stared at each other. "I-I…" She blinked. "It just slipped out."

He laughed. "Yes, it did!" She gave him a look. "Don't blame me because you miss me being your brother!" She punched him in the arm. He laughed again. "You hit me! That means you care, Sammabelle!" She growled. He blinked. "Too soon. I realize it's too soon for that."

She rolled her eyes. "You're still a git."

He winked at her. "And, you still care about me."

She laughed at them. "The two of you are gits!" They laughed. "Let's see if there is any word on Sirius." She looked at her husband. "You can come too as long as you don't hit or berate anyone."

He sighed in defeat. "I won't."

They walked back to Sirius' room and tried to find out any bit of information they could. Sam held Evelyn's hand. "Mama?" Evelyn looked at her. "Sirius is going to be alright, isn't he?"

She smiled and caressed her cheek. "Sirius is going to be just fine, Sammy."

She bit her lip. "I can't lose him, Mama." Evelyn sighed and nodded. "When I was with Andrew tonight, I told him that I wanted to give my marriage to Sirius a real shot." Evelyn looked at her in surprise before smiling. "I never got the chance to tell Sirius that. All I've done is push him away. He doesn't know that I want our marriage to work. H-He doesn't know how much I care for him." Evelyn squeezed her hand. "Sirius has to be ok so I can tell him. I have to tell him. He deserves to know."

She hugged her tightly. "You'll be able to tell him, Sammy." She smiled at her daughter. "You have to think positive thoughts, Baby. Think positively and Sirius will be alright."

The healer walked out of Sirius' room and took a deep breath before walking over to them. He reached Sam just as Remus, Lily, and Dumbledore returned. Remus saw Harold glaring and sneering at him. His eyes widened and he stayed far away from him. "Mrs. Black?" Sam looked at him. "Your husband…" She gulped. "He isn't calming down. He is only getting worse." She paled. "I'm afraid we may have to go to the last resort."

She stared at him. "W-What is that?"

He sighed. "There is a potion we can use. It will send electrical shocks-"

She paled. "NO!" They stared at her in surprise. "Absolutely not!"

Alan walked over to them. "What's going on? How's Sirius?" He saw how pale Sam was and his eyebrow rose. "Sam, what is it? What's wrong?" He saw the deep purple bruise on her cheek. "What the hell happened to you?"

She stared at him. "Alan, I…" She let out a shaky breath. "I told Harold about sleeping with Remus and Sirius." She whispered in his ear. "I told him all about my past." He nodded slowly. "He…he didn't take it well."

He glared at Harold and growled. Harold blinked. "Tell me what happened exactly."

She sighed. "I will later." He looked at her in confusion. "Sirius isn't calming down! They want to give him the electric shock potion! They can't give it to him!"

He blinked. "How do you know about that potion?"

She gulped. "When I was first here, they gave it to me."

Evelyn gasped. "They did what?"

Sam looked at her. "They gave me the potion when I wouldn't stop screaming." Evelyn's eyes widened. "They said you approved it." Evelyn shook her head aggressively. "They said you and dad-" Harold looked at her expectantly. She cleared her throat. "They said you and Harold gave your consent to give me the potion."

Harold shook his head. "We never gave our consent. We would never give our consent for that!" Sam stared at him with a raised eyebrow. He sighed. "Sammy-" She sneered. He cleared his throat. "Sam, you can believe what you want about me but I would never consent to you being treated that way." He took a step towards her. She took a step back. He sighed in defeat. "I swear, Sam, your mother and I would have never consented to such a thing."

Evelyn nodded in agreement when Sam looked at her for confirmation. "He's telling the truth, Baby." She hugged her tightly. "Is that why you hated it here the first time and put up such a fight when we wanted to send you back?" She nodded her head against her mother's shoulder. Evelyn closed her eyes and sighed when Sam started to sniffle. Harold had a pained look on his face. He wanted to comfort his daughter but he knew she wouldn't accept it. The others stared at her with wide eyes. They had no idea she had that happen to her. "Why didn't you tell us?"

She wiped her eyes. "I thought you knew. I-I thought that's why you wanted me to come back here."

He sighed and shook his head. "That's not true, Sam." She looked at her father. "We would have put a stop to it right away if we would have known and you wouldn't have come back here." He stared at her. "You have to believe me, Sam."

She bit her lips. "I-I…I believe you, Harold." He smiled sadly. He wished she would stop using his first name and start calling him 'daddy' again. "I-I should have known that you wouldn't do that to me."

His smile grew. "Of course we wouldn't, Baby." She stared at him closely. "What? What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "I-I…" She stared at him. She wanted to forgive him. She had an overwhelming urge to apologize to him for their estrangement but that urge vanished when Evelyn caressed her bruised cheek. Sam winced. Harold gulped as he stared at her expectantly. "It's nothing." He sighed. "If you didn't give consent then how were they able to give the potion to me?"

Harold turned and glared at Alan. "That's what I would like to know." Alan's eyebrow rose. "You're my daughter's healer. How did this happen to her? How could you let this happen to her?"

Alan shrugged. "I have no idea." Harold scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I don't know! I wasn't her healer then but if I was, I would have put a stop to it!" Harold rolled his eyes again. "Sam knows I would never permit anything like that to happen to her! She knows I have her best interest at heart!" Sam nodded. "I think we should ask her old healer!" He stopped a nurse walking by. "Get Dr. Roberts here at once!" She nodded quickly and ran off. He stood in front of Sam and put a hand on her shoulder. "Samantha, you know I would never authorize such a thing. I do not believe in such practices unless there is no other option. With your condition, you have many options and luckily, the first treatment worked."

She smiled and hugged him. He hugged her in return. "I know, Alan. I know you'd never hurt me like that." Alan smiled smugly at Harold as he continued hugging Sam. Harold's eyes narrowed as he sneered. "I don't want Sirius to go through that."

He nodded. "Don't worry, Sam. He won't. I won't allow it and I'll make sure Andrew won't either."

Her smile grew. "I know."

Andrew walked over to them. "I'm here. Who sent for me?" He saw the angry looks on their faces. He blinked. "What is it? What's wrong? Is something else wrong with Sirius? Did his condition worsen?"

Alan eyed him closely. "Andrew, we need you to answer a very important question and you must answer honestly." Andrew nodded slowly. "Did you authorize giving Sam the electro-shock potion?" His eyes widened. "Well, did you?"

He shook his head aggressively. "No, of course I didn't!" Alan stared at him intently. "I didn't and wouldn't do that!" Alan nodded. "I became Sam's healer after a few days from when she was admitted. Her first healer was her admitting healer. That was Dr…." Andrew's eyes widened. "It was Dr. Havner." Alan blinked. "H-He must have given it to her."

Harold's head cocked to the side. "Isn't that the same healer that was in the Daily Prophet?" They nodded. "Wasn't he sent to Azkaban for unethical medical practices?"

Alan sighed. "Yes, he was." They stared at him. He rubbed his eyes. "A few days after Sam was admitted here the first time, Dr. Havner was caught…torturing one of his patients with the same potion he gave to Sam." They gasped. "He was a power hungry maniac and I am glad he was put away for the rest of his life so he can't hurt anyone else." He looked at Sam. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Sam."

Sam shook her head. "You have no reason to be sorry. You had no idea what was going on then." She looked at him. "Is he really gone for good?" Alan smiled and nodded. She sighed in relief. "That's good." The healer made an impatient sound. She gave him a look. "What's your name again?"

His eyes narrowed. "Dr. Harris." He grunted.

Her eyebrow rose. "Well, Dr. Harris, my husband will _not_ be given that particular potion."

Dr. Harris held in a sneer. "It is the only thing that will be able to help him!"

She growled. "It is not the only option!" He rolled his eyes. "I will help my husband."

He had a smug look on his face. "How can _you_ help him?"

She smirked. "Sirius and I have helped each other through a lot. You don't need to worry your little head about how it is done." He sneered. "I'm going in there and I'm going to calm him down." He started to protest. "I dare you to try and stop me." He glared at her. "Didn't Professor Dumbledore tell you to treat me with respect?" He sneered. She looked at Alan. "When I come back after helping Sirius, I want a different healer assigned to him." She glared at Dr. Harris. "A competent healer."

Alan smirked. Dr. Harris shook with anger. "Consider it done."

Sam walked through the door and took a deep breath. Sirius' screams pierced her ears. She took another deep breath before going to his bedside. Sirius' face was red and his arms were thrashing around. She grabbed hold of his arms and tried to pin them down. "Sirius! Sirius! It's me! It's Sammy!" He kept struggling against her. "Please, Sirius, calm down! It's going to be ok! Let me help you!"

Dr. Harris smirked. "You're working wonders! Keep up the good work!"

She glared at him. "Did I give you permission to speak?" He sneered. "If you are going to continue to annoy me and interrupt, you might as well leave now."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to leave!"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you won't." She muttered. "If you must stay then I suggest you stay in the corner and shut the hell up so I can concentrate on helping my husband!" He stuttered. "Sirius, Baby, you need to calm down!" She was able to pin his arms to the bed. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Sirius, please, calm down. I need you to calm down." She kissed his cheek. "Come back to me, Sirius. I need you to come back to me." He strained against her. She kissed his forehead and cheek. "You promised me you wouldn't leave me like this. You promised me you wouldn't die." Her chin trembled. "Don't leave me, Sirius. I need you." She rested her temple against his. "Please…" She let out a shaky breath. "Come back to me, Sirius." His screams died down and his body relaxed. She pulled away and blinked. Sirius was staring at her. "Sirius?" He kept staring at her. She smiled as she caressed his cheek. "You came back to me." She whispered. "You came back to me, Sirius."

He gave her a tired smile. "I'll…I'll always come back to you, Sammy." He closed his eyes and sighed in content. "Always." He fell asleep.

Sam kissed his lips and smiled. "Always." She whispered. She turned her head and saw Dr. Harris looking at them in shock. "See?" She smirked. "I told you so." He scoffed and left the room.


	89. Chapter 86: The Curious Dreams Of Sirius

Author's Note: OK, so it turns out I wrote more than two extra chapters...sorry...

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Chapter 86: The Curious Dreams Of Sirius Black.

* * *

"Hello again, Sirius."

Sirius looked around and tried to see through the white haze he was standing in. He felt utterly confused. "Is that you, Kathleen?" She appeared and smiled at him. He smiled in return. "You're looking good." She laughed and winked at him. He let out a tiny laugh before looking around. "Where the hell are we this time?"

Kathleen watched him as he took a look around. "We are in the hereafter." He gave her a confused look. "We are in the in-between." He looked at her oddly. "We are in the place that's in between life and death." His eyes widened. "Do you remember what happened to you?" He was still for a moment before nodding slowly. "Do you have any questions?"

He stared at her. "Am I dead?"

She smiled. "Not yet." He blinked. "It's up to you if you live or die tonight." His head cocked to the side. "You've been through a trauma and right now, you are teetering on the line of life and death." He gulped. "It's your choice if you want to live or die."

"I want to live."

Her smile grew. "I'm sure you do but it's not that simple."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course it isn't."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Do you want to know what you have to do or not?" He nodded. "You will have to go on a vision quest." He blinked. She smiled. "This vision quest will be different than Sam's. You will see many things whereas she saw many moments bundled together that fit together." He stared at her. "It makes sense if you think about it."

His head cocked to the side. "Why do I have to do this vision quest thing? Sam's the seer, not me."

She shrugged. "It's just one of the benefits of being married to and being the soul mate to a seer." His eyebrow rose. "If you weren't connected to Sammy, you'd be dead now." His eyes widened as he choked. "This way you have a choice if you want to live or die. You have to go through this and if you are able to get back to Sammy, you live. If not, you die."

He rubbed his eyes. "That sounds wonderful." She smirked. "If I decide not to go through with this, do I die?" She nodded. "If I do but I am unable to get to Sam, I will die?" She nodded again. "If I get to Sam, I live?" She nodded. "Why do I get the feeling that I won't like the visions I will be forced to see?"

She sighed. "It's probably because you won't." He sighed. "Some…most things you'll see will upset and might even torment you." He held in a groan. "If you make it through these visions and are able to get to Sam…the real Sam, you live."

He shook his head. "Why is everything dealing with Sam so difficult?"

She laughed. "If it was easy, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun." He gave her a look. She smiled. "Will you do this?"

He stared at her. "If I go through this, I'll get Sammy in the end?" She nodded. "I'll do it."

She smiled. "The first vision will be a what-if vision." He stared at her. "What if Sam caught Remus shagging Hannah instead of groping her the night she found out she wasn't pregnant?" His head cocked to the side. "What if she ran into you after she caught them together?"

He motioned for her to continue. "Well, what would have happened?"

She smiled. "You'll see." He sighed and nodded. "Just remember that I'm not doing this to hurt you." He nodded slowly. "This is just to make sure you are willing to do anything to be with Sammy and to do anything to keep her safe." He blinked. "Are you ready?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, I am."

She nodded. "Let's begin."

* * *

Sam smiled as she walked up the stairs to the astronomy tower. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her chest. She couldn't wait to tell Remus that the pregnancy scare was just that, a scare. Once she found out the great news, she ran off to find Remus and tell him the good news. She had looked everywhere for him before deciding to look for him on top of the astronomy tower. It was a special place for them and it made sense for him to be there. She would have been there sooner if she didn't run into Lilac, who insisted on talking her ear off. She opened the door and froze. Her heart stopped. The great feeling of relief was ripped away and an unbearable pain was put in its place. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She felt her heart shatter into a tiny million pieces. She had found Remus. She had found him…shagging Hannah. Remus was on top of Hannah while they laid on the floor. His pants were down around his ankles and her skirt was pushed up to her stomach. They were clinging to each other. Sam couldn't feel her legs as she watched them and heard them moaning. She snapped out of her daze when Hannah looked at her and smirked. Sam ran over to them and kicked him as hard as she could in his side. He yelled out in pain. Hannah stared at her with wide eyes. Sam kicked her in her side too. She cried out. Remus was pale as he stared at her. Sam shook with anger. "You bastard!" She shrieked.

Remus gulped. "Sammy, I can explain!" She kicked him again. He grunted. She ran off. "Wait! Sammy, wait!" He eased off of Hannah and stood up on shaky legs. She sat up. He took a careful breath as he got dressed. "I have to go after her. I have to explain." He muttered to himself.

Hannah blinked. "Remus, don't go! Don't leave me!" He ran off and she was left all alone.

* * *

Sam ran as fast as she could and as far as she could. She had to get away from what she saw. She had to get away from Remus. She couldn't believe he would do something like that. She couldn't understand why he would want to throw away what they had. She stopped and bent over to catch her breath. She turned around quickly when she heard someone call her name. Remus was at the opposite end of the hall and was running toward her. Her eyes widened. She started running again. His voice grew closer. She ran faster. There was no way in hell she wanted to speak to him let alone see him. She ran to a deserted hallway and glanced back to make sure Remus wasn't following. While she was looking back, she ran right into someone. She gasped. Arms surrounded her and they stumbled as they tried to regain their balance. She couldn't believe Remus had managed to head her off. She fought against him. "Get off! Get off me!"

Sirius' eyes widened and let her go. He ducked when she tried to hit him. "Sammy! Sammy, calm down! It's me! It's Sirius!" She stopped hitting him and stared at him with wide eyes. He stared at her. "Sammy?"

She blinked. "S-Sirius?" He nodded slowly. She let out a shaky breath. "I-I thought…I-I thought you were…"

He looked at her in surprise when she started to cry into her hands. He held her to him. She cried into his chest. "Sammy…Sammy, what is it? What's wrong?" He rubbed her back. "Who did you think I was? Who were you running from?" She started crying hysterically. "Did someone hurt you?" She nodded. His eyes narrowed. "Who was it? Tell me who hurt you and I will make them pay!" She was trembling. He caressed her cheek. "Sammy, tell me who hurt you. I'll make them pay for it. Who hurt you?"

Her chin trembled. "Remus…"

He nodded slowly. "Don't worry, Sammy. I'll tell him who hurt you. James, Peter, Remus, and I will make him pay. Just tell me who hurt you."

She shook her head. "No…it was Remus." His eyes widened. "He…he was the one who hurt me."

He blinked. He couldn't believe it. He knew that Remus would die before ever hurting Sam. "W-What do you mean? How did he hurt you?" She started to cry again. "Sammy, I need to know. What did he do? Did he hit you?"

She shook her head. "N-No…I-I…" She gasped when she heard Remus calling out her name. "I don't want to see him! Please, I don't want to see him!"

He nodded quickly and grabbed her hand. "Let's go." They ran down a few hallways before he thought they were safe. He tried catching his breath. "Ok, why are we hiding from Remus?" She sighed. "I need to know why I helped you hide from your boyfriend, my best friend. Start talking."

She sighed. "I thought…I thought I was p-pregnant." His eyes widened as he choked. "I-I'm not though!" He nodded quickly. "I begged Remus to come with me to find out for sure but he thought it would be best if I went alone."

His eyes narrowed. He honestly couldn't believe Remus wouldn't go with her. "So, that was why he was drinking tonight."

She blinked. "H-He was drinking?"

He nodded. "Yes, he was. I snuck in some fire whiskey. We were all drinking. Remus had more than usual. We all thought it was odd but we didn't question it." She nodded. "But…just keep going. Tell me the rest."

She bit her lip as her eyes watered. "I found out that I had a false alarm. I went to look for Remus to tell him the good news." He gulped. He had a feeling about where this story was going. He just hoped he was wrong. Yes, he was in love with Sam and was counting down the days until they broke up but he didn't want Sam to get hurt like this. "I went to the astronomy tower…I-I…" She started to cry again. "I-I caught him with Hannah." He held in a groan. "They…they were shagging."

He sighed. "A-Are you sure?"

She gave him a look. "Yes, I'm sure! His pants were around his ankles, her skirt was pushed up to her stomach, and they were moaning and kissing!" He groaned. "So, I'm sure they were shagging!" He nodded. "Hannah…she looked right at me and she was smirking." His eyes widened. "I ran over to them. I kicked Remus twice and I kicked her." He held in a laugh. "Remus said he could explain but I ran off. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't…I couldn't stand to look at him a moment longer." He nodded. "He came after me but so far, I've been able to out run him." He sighed when she started crying again. He held her tightly. She snuggled into him. He closed his eyes and took in her scent. He had no idea how Remus could be stupid enough to ruin things with her. He kissed her temple. She looked at him with watery eyes. "I hate him, Sirius. I really hate him."

He gulped. It was too much to hope for. "Y-You don't mean that, Sammy. Y-You love Remus. You are just mad at him right now."

She shook her head. "I mean it, Sirius. I hate him." He held in a cheer. "I thought he hurt me enough when he pretended to be sleeping with Hannah. This is just too much. I don't want to go through it. I don't want to work things out with him after what he's done." He was breathing heavily. It took everything he had in him to stop himself from jumping for joy. "It's over. I'm going to break up with him and nothing he does or says will change my mind. Remus is out of my life."

He stared at her. "If you want to end things with him, why are you avoiding him? Why are you running from him?"

She sighed. "I can't see him just yet. If I do, I might end up killing him and I don't want to go to Azkaban." He let out a tiny laugh and nodded. She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Sirius." He looked at her in confusion. "Thank you for helping me avoid him. Thank you for listening to me and for trying to comfort me." He smiled and shrugged. "I'm sure you have more important things to do than comfort me."

He caressed her cheek. "Nothing is more important to me than you." She looked at him in surprise. "I'm here for as long as you need me."

She hugged him tightly. "I may need you with me for a while. Is that alright?" He smiled and nodded. She rested her head on his shoulder. He sighed in content. "Is there somewhere we can go?" He froze. She looked at him. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head slightly. "T-There's nothing wrong. I just…why do you want to go somewhere else?"

She sighed. "I just wanted to go somewhere that's a littler more comfortable than a deserted hallway." He laughed and nodded. "Can we go some place else?"

He nodded. "We'll go to my room." She shook her head. "What is it?"

She looked at him. "We can't go to your room. Remus might be there."

He nodded. "I understand." She smiled. "I just thought you'd feel comfortable there. That's all."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I do feel comfortable there. I just can't see him just now."

He smiled. "I know where we can go." She looked at him. "We'll go to the Room of Requirement." She blinked. "We'll have privacy and comfort there."

She smiled. "Lead the way."

He took her hand and guided her to the Room of Requirement. His heart was beating against his chest. He couldn't believe she wanted to spend time alone with him. He couldn't believe she wanted to talk to him about her problems and have him comfort her. He wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself if he was alone with her. When he realized he was in love with her, he felt an ache in his chest whenever he saw her with Remus. Now that Remus was more or less out of the picture, the need to have her and be with her was at an all time high. He felt lightheaded. He opened the door to the Room of Requirement and led her into the room. His hands started to sweat. The room was an exact replica of his own dorm. He looked at her. "Is this ok?"

She nodded. "This is fine." They walked over to the bed that would have been Sirius' and sat down. She looked at him. "Thank you for this, Sirius."

He smiled. "It's nothing, Sammy."

She kissed his cheek. "It's something, Sirius."

He stared at her closely. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I don't know really. I have all these feelings jumbled together." He nodded slowly. "I feel angry, betrayed, hurt, sad, and…a million other things all at once." He nodded again. "I also have an unhealthy amount of rage burning inside me and I need to try and control it or I might hurt someone."

He blinked. "Not me, I hope."

She let out a tiny laugh. "No, I don't want to hurt you." He smiled. She kissed his cheek. "You're the last person I want to hurt."

He caressed her cheek. "I'm glad to hear it." She smiled. He sighed. "I can't believe he did this to you." She sighed and nodded. "I'll kill him for hurting you."

She shook her head. "No, you won't."

He licked his lips and moved closer to her. His self control was beginning to crack. "I would if you asked me to."

She rubbed his knee. He gulped. "I know but I would never ask that of you."

He smiled as he moved in even closer to her. "I know that."

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed in content as he rubbed her back. He closed his eyes and enjoyed being so close to her. She smiled and stared at him closely. He gulped when he realized how close their faces were. "You know, if it wasn't for you, I'd probably be in my room plotting Remus and Hannah's deaths while crying my eyes out."

He caressed her cheek. "He doesn't deserve your tears, Sammy." She bit her lip. "Sammy, you deserve someone who loves and wants only you. Someone who will never hurt or cheat on you. Someone who thinks about you constantly. Someone who dreams about being with you even if they already spent the day with you." He let out a shaky breath. "You deserve to be someone's everything."

She stared at him closely. "Does someone like that even exist, Sirius?"

He looked at the ground as he nodded. "Yes, he does." He whispered.

She touched his hand. He looked at her. She caressed his cheek. He leaned in to her touch. His eyes closed as he sighed in content. "Sirius?" She whispered. His eyes opened slowly and he looked at her. She kissed the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and their lips met. They stared at each other. "Sirius?"

He massaged her shoulders before rubbing the sides of her neck. She was breathing heavily. He kissed her temple, forehead, cheek, and lips. She stared at him with wide eyes. He kissed her slowly. She ran her fingers through his hair as their kiss deepened. He pulled away and stared at her. "Are you feeling better?" She nodded quickly as she pulled him back for another kiss. He brought her closer and held her tightly. He gave soft kisses to her lips before moving to her jaw line. She shivered as he nibbled on her earlobe. He looked at her. "Are you thinking about him right now, Sammy?"

She blinked in confusion. "Who?"

He smiled. "Good answer." He kissed her eagerly. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He massaged her waist. She bit his chin before moving to kiss his neck. His eyes were shut tight as he held in a moan. He couldn't believe this was happening. He put his hands in her hair and let out a deep moan. She looked at him. He smiled. She smiled in return. Her eyes closed when he sucked on her neck. She moaned. He closed his eyes and shivered before he started kissing her collarbone. She panted in his ear as he sucked on her earlobe. "Sammy…" He croaked out. "You…you have no idea how long I've wanted this…how long I've wanted you…"

She gripped his hair and moaned. "Tell me." He held her closer to him. "Tell me…please."

He sucked on her bottom lip. She moaned. "Always." She stared at him. He glided his thumb across her bottom lip. "I've always wanted you, Sammy."

She stared at him with wide eyes. "What?" He looked away from her. "Are you telling me the truth? Have you really always wanted me, Sirius?" He nodded slowly. She smiled in surprise. "I can't believe it." He looked at her. She kissed him. "I want you too, Sirius." She whispered against his lips. "I want you too."

Sirius blinked. "Y-You do?" She nodded. "Y-You still want me after everything?" She nodded eagerly. He pulled her to him. He kissed her with such force that she gasped. "Sorry." He mumbled. She nodded as she pulled him back to her. They held onto each other as their kiss deepened. They rested their foreheads against each other. He started to shake. She stared at him. He licked his lips. She caressed his cheek. She leaned in and kissed him slowly. They stared at each other. He unbuttoned her shirt. "Is this alright?" He whispered. She nodded and kissed him. He removed her shirt and kissed her as he massaged her chest. Her hands shook as she unbuttoned his shirt and eased it off his back. He rubbed her back as they kissed. He kissed her neck. She gripped his hair. She pulled away. He stared at her in confusion. "Sammy?" She stood up and stared at him. He was about to speak but she put a finger to his lips to silence him. She eased off her skirt and stared at him. His eyes went wide. She bit her lip and blushed. He stood up and took off his pants before bringing her back to the bed. They kneeled on the bed and faced each other. He stroked her sides and smiled. "Pink." He muttered.

Sam's head cocked to the side. "What?"

His smile grew. "You're wearing pink."

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she looked down at her bra and underwear before staring back at him. "Yes, I am." She looked confused. "Is…is that a problem?"

He shook his head slowly and let out a tiny laugh. "It's not a problem." He kissed her. "Whenever I imagined this happening, you were always wearing pink."

She smiled. "You've been imagining this happening?"

He nodded. "Yes, I have." She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him. His finger traced the band of her underwear. He kissed her and sucked on her bottom lip as he unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor. He kissed her again before moving to kiss her chest. He eased her down on the bed. He kissed, bit, sucked, and massaged her breasts. Her head was swimming. She felt as if he was treating her like he treasured her. It was like he won the greatest prize of his life and had to handle her with care or his prize might break. He was acting as if he wanted to make sure he remembered every inch of her body. He kissed and nibbled on her stomach. Her breath caught in her throat. Every part of her was tingling and humming. Every time he touched her, she felt like she was on fire. He let out a shaky breath as he slid off her underwear. He smiled when she blushed. His tongue traced her belly button. He nibbled on her inner thigh and she gasped. He looked at her. She nodded for him to continue. Her eyes widened before closing when he started. She gripped his hair and moaned loudly. He held onto her when she kept moving around. He slid his body up hers when he was done. She stared at him. He kissed her. She pulled away. He gulped. "Sammy, don't tell me to stop because I don't think I can."

She reached up and kissed him. "I don't want you to stop, Sirius." He sighed in relief. She made him lie on his back. She smiled and kissed him. "I want to return the favor." She whispered. He blinked. "Is that a problem?" He shook his head aggressively. She smiled. He kissed her. She started to stroke him. He moaned. She kissed his chest and stomach. He gulped. He choked when she started. He gripped her hair. A loud moan was torn from his throat. When she was done, she sat back on her knees. He stared at her with wide eyes. Her head cocked to the side. "Are you alright?"

He had a wide smile on his face. "I'm great." She let out a tiny laugh. "Come here, Sammy."

She crawled to him. His mouth went dry. "I'm here." She whispered against his mouth.

Sirius grabbed her and flipped her onto her back. She laughed in surprise. He kissed her. She stroked his hair. She kissed him slowly. He smiled. "You're beautiful." She smiled. He rested his body on top of hers and kissed her. "You're so beautiful, Sammy." He kissed her again. "You are so much more beautiful than I remember or even imagined." Her smile grew. They kissed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tightly. "I want you so much, Sammy."

Sam stared at him. "I want you too, Sirius." He smiled. "I've always wanted you. I just never thought you wanted me." His smile grew. "I can't believe this is actually happening between us."

He caressed her cheek. "I can't believe it either. I feel like I'm dreaming." She kissed him. He laughed lightly when she pinched his bum. "I felt that so I guess I'm not dreaming."

She bit her lip and smiled. "I guess not." He laughed. She stroked his hair. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "I don't want to hurt you." His eyebrows furrowed together. "I don't want you to think I'm using you to get back at Remus or to get over him."

He sighed. "Are you using me, Sammy?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not." She kissed him. "I've wanted this for so long and I just didn't want you to doubt this."

He kissed her. "I don't doubt you or this, Sammy." She smiled. "I've wanted you for a long time and I know you would never intentionally hurt me or use me." He nibbled on her ear. "Are you ready, Sammy?"

She kissed him. "I'm more than ready."

He smiled. "You won't be getting much sleep tonight. There are a lot of things I want to do with you and to you." She blushed and smiled. He entered her slowly. He stared at her. "Look at me, Sammy." Her eyes opened and she stared right back at him. "I want you to forget everything except me." She gasped when he bit her shoulder. She grasped his shoulders. She moaned loudly as he moved against her. He grabbed her wrists and made her hands hold onto the head board. "Hold on tight, Sammy." He whispered against her mouth. She did as she was told. He moved against her roughly. She was panting. He grunted into her ear. Every time she was close, he would pull back. She groaned in frustration. He smirked. "Patience." She wrapped her legs around him and urged him on as she shook her head. He started to lose it when she started calling his name. He gripped her hips as he moaned and grunted in her ear. He collapsed on top of her. They were breathing heavily. He caressed her cheek. She stared at him. He kissed her and smiled. She stroked his hair before she reached up and kissed him. He kissed her neck and shoulder. "That was round one." He whispered.

She laughed lightly and blushed. "I can't wait for round two."

He smirked. "I'm ready when you are." She giggled into his neck. He moaned. "I love when you do that, Sammy." She smirked. She giggled again when he nipped at her shoulder. He moaned again. "Don't do it unless you mean it."

She smirked. "I mean it, Sirius." He laughed. "I'm ready for round two."

He laughed and kissed her. "Let round two begin."

Sirius sighed in content as he traced her spine with his finger. Sam rested her head against his chest and smiled as she listened to his heart race. She kissed his chest and smiled at him. He smiled in return. They kissed. He caressed her cheek. His smile grew when she blushed. "Sammy?" She looked at him. "Do you regret it?" Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "Do you regret what happened between us?"

Sam smiled. "I don't regret being with you, Sirius." She kissed him. "Do you regret it?" He shook his head aggressively. She let out a tiny laugh. "I'm glad." He kissed her. "Sirius, can I tell you something?"

He nodded as he stroked her hair. "You can tell me anything." He kissed her. "You know that, Sammy."

She bit her lip. "Well, when we were…" She blushed. He smirked. "I…I never felt like that before." He smirked again. "I never experienced anything like that before."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "I've been told that many times before." She gave him a look and pinched his side. He laughed. "I was just kidding…sort of." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Are you telling me the truth when you say that you never experienced anything like that before?" She nodded. He kissed her. "I never experienced anything like it either." She stared at him. He smiled. "I'm being honest." She smiled. "Sammy, can I tell you something?"

She kissed him and nodded. "Of course you can. You can tell me anything."

He took a deep breath. "I've wanted to tell you this for a while." She nodded slowly. He stared at her. "I…I'm…I'm in love with you." She blinked. He smiled. "I'm in love with you, Sammy."

She sat up and stared at him with wide eyes. "You're what?" He smiled and nodded. "I…" She shook her head slowly. "H-How long have you been in love with me, Sirius?"

He took a deep breath and sat up. "I…I've always been in love with you, Sam." She shook her head slowly. "Yes, I have." He cradled her head in his hands and kissed her. "Last year, when I ruined things between you and Remus, it…it was the moment that my feelings…my real feelings for you started to awaken." She blinked. "I didn't realize it then. It was months later, after exams, when we were all hanging out by the lake, and I was just wrestling with you and then, it hit me. I knew I was in love with you. I thought I was going crazy but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I've loved you since the day we met. I've always loved you, Sammy. I always have and I know I always will."

She stared at him. "You've always loved me but didn't realize it until then?"

He nodded and smiled. "That's right."

She shook her head slowly. "I can't believe this." She muttered.

His eyebrows furrowed together. "What can't you believe?" She looked at him. He grabbed her shoulders. "I do love you, Sammy. I wouldn't lie about something like this." She nodded slowly. He smiled as he caressed her cheek. "I'm in love with you, Sammy."

She gulped. "Sirius, I…I…" He looked at her expectantly. She sighed. "I do love you, Sirius." He smiled. "I really do love you but…"

He blinked. "You love me but what?"

She let out a shaky breath. "I…I'm still _technically_ with Remus and I…" Her eyes widened. "I just cheated on him with you, his best friend!"

He gave her a look. "He cheated on you, Sam. You didn't cheat on him." She looked at him. "The moment you saw him with Hannah, it was over between the two of you." She nodded slowly. "You did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong." He kissed her."I love you, Sammy. Do you love me?" She nodded. "Do you love me as a friend or more?"

She caressed his cheek. "I do love you, Sirius." He smiled. "You are one of my best friends and I love you." His smile faded. She bit her lip. "I…I'm also in love with you." He smiled. She kissed him. "I do love you, Sirius."

He held her to him. He kissed her. "I love you so much, Sammy!" She closed her eyes as she hugged him. "I can't believe we are finally together."

She pulled away. "We aren't together, Sirius." He blinked. "I am still with Remus."

He shook his head. "But you're breaking up with him, right?"

She nodded. "Y-Yes, I am." He smiled. "But I'll still need some time." He looked confused. "I've loved Remus for a long time." He held in a sneer. "I'll need some time to get over him." He nodded slowly. She kissed him. "After I break up with him and get over him, we…we can be together."

He kissed her and smiled. "I've waited years to be with you, Sammy. If I have to, I can wait a little longer."

She smiled. "Do you mean that, Sirius?" He nodded. She kissed him. "Thank you."

He hugged her. "I love you, Sammy."

She caressed his cheek. "I love you too, Sirius."

* * *

Sam took a deep breath before walking through the portrait hole. She had managed to avoid Remus for most of the day except when she saw him talking with Hannah. She walked over to them and punched Hannah in the face. She walked away before Remus had a chance to talk to her. Lily cornered her after that altercation and Sam was forced to tell her everything. Lily was livid with Remus but shocked by what happened with Sirius. They talked for a little while longer before they went their separate ways. Sam tried to keep her distance from Sirius so Remus wouldn't figure out what happened between them but Sirius kept surprising her in the halls. He would see her walking with her friends and stop her so he could hug her and whisper in her ear that he loved her and couldn't wait until they could be together. She rubbed her eyes and sighed. She needed to be alone to think. In a matter of moments, everything in her life had changed. She just wanted to have a few moments alone so she could sort everything out. She walked into the common room and stopped short when she saw Remus sitting in a chair, staring at her. She held in a groan. "This is just great." She muttered. She went to the stairs. He blocked her from leaving. "Get away from me. I don't want to talk to you."

Remus touched her arm. She pulled away. He sighed. "Sam, please, talk to me." She wouldn't look at him. "You have to talk to me some time."

She glared at him. "I have nothing to say to you." He looked at her with pleading eyes. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll talk." He nodded. "How's your girlfriend doing after I punched her?" He sighed. "What do you want, Remus? I mean besides Hannah."

"Sam, I-"

She stopped him. "If you say you don't want Hannah, you are a damn liar!" He sighed. She gritted her teeth. "You are a heartless bastard, Remus." He gulped. "I was so…" She rubbed her eyes. "If you are only talking to me to find out the results of my pregnancy test, you don't have to worry. It was a false alarm." He sighed in relief and nodded. "Now that you know, you can leave me alone for good. We're over and I never want to see you again."

He stopped her from leaving. "Sam, you can't mean that."

She pushed him away. "I do mean it, Remus." He shook his head. Her eyes watered as her chin trembled. "I loved you so much for so long and…" She wiped her eyes. "I never thought I could hate you more than I did when you _pretended_ to be with Hannah but I do." She stared at him. "I hate you and I don't want you in my life anymore."

He grabbed her arms. "You can't mean that, Sammy!" She fought against him when he hugged her. "I love you! You can't mean that! You can't leave me!"

She slapped him. "You can't love me after what you did!" He looked like he was in pain. "The moment I saw you with her, we were over!"

He sighed. "I made a mistake! If I could take it back, I would!"

She rolled her eyes. "No, you wouldn't!" She glared at him. "Be a man and admit that you want Hannah!" He took a deep breath. "Just tell me the truth! Don't be a coward and tell me the truth!"

He stared at her. "I…I did want Hannah." She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. "But I didn't want her at the expense of what we have." She scoffed. "Sam, I love you so much. I know I made a horrible mistake but we can get past it."

She shook her head. "No, we can't. We're over. Leave me alone."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. "I'm not letting you leave me, Samantha!" Her eyes widened. He had tears in his eyes. "I know I betrayed you. I know you are angry as hell with me and you have every right to be angry but I know you still love me." He held her to him. "I love you-" He blinked. He sniffed her hair and neck. She gulped. "Sam?" He looked at her and made her look at him when she tried to look away. "Why…why is Sirius' scent all over you?" She didn't answer. She did shower that morning but Sirius was hugging her a lot. She could blame the hugs but she couldn't muster up the lie. His body went still as his blood went cold. "Sam?" She gulped. "I know Sirius was hugging you a lot today. I saw him do it but…" He eyed her closely. "But it's more than that, isn't it?"

She struggled against him. "Let me go!" He tightened his hold. She didn't want to be in grabbing distance when he found out the truth. She knew he would lose it. "Let me go, Remus!"

He was breathing heavily. "Not until you tell me the truth, Sam!" She winced. His grip was too tight. "Tell me!"

She glared at him. "After I found you with that slut, I ran. I ran as far as I could." He nodded slowly. "Eventually, I ran into Sirius. I told him about what happened." He held in a groan. That explained some of Sirius' attitude toward Remus. "He helped me hide from you." He nodded slowly. "We…we went to the Room of Requirement." She winced. "You're hurting me!" He eased his grip but didn't let her go. She wished he would. She was afraid of what he would do when he found out. "We talked…and then, we…"

He gritted his teeth. "What? What is it?"

She gulped as she looked into his eyes. For a fleeting moment, she saw the beast inside Remus staring back at her. She never saw it before. For the first time since she knew him, she was afraid of Remus. She was truly terrified of him. "We…Sirius and I…slept together." His eyes widened. "W-We slept together, Remus."

He growled. "You did what?" She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her go. "You slept with him? You slept with my best friend?" She nodded quickly. "How could you?"

She sneered. "How could you sleep with Hannah?"

He pushed her away. She stumbled. He kicked the coffee table. It flew across the room. She jumped and yelled out in surprise. "That's different! Hannah's not your best friend!"

She scoffed. "That's a load of crap, Remus!"

He glared at her. "No, it's not! Sirius is one of my best friends and I trusted him! I trusted the both of you!"

She slapped him. "And, I trusted you!"

He took a step towards her. She stepped back. "I made a mistake! What you did…it was deliberate!"

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't! I never meant for it to happen!"

"And, you think I did?" She nodded. He growled. "I didn't mean for it to happen! It just did!" She scoffed. "I was terrified of the possibility of being a father! I got drunk and she was just there! You deliberately went to Sirius and slept with him!"

"No, I didn't! I was trying to get away from you and literally ran into him! He was…we were just talking! He comforted me! It just happened! What happened between you and Hannah was deliberate!" He shook his head. "I've seen you hanging around her a lot since the start of term! The two of you have been sniffing around each other for weeks and it made me sick! You make me sick!" He gritted his teeth. "You did this! You ruined things for us!"

He sneered. "No, you did! You trying to trap me with a baby ruined us!" Her face fell. "You saw me hanging around Hannah and tried to make me stay with you by getting pregnant but it didn't work! It was a false alarm and your plan back fired!"

She slapped him. "How dare you say that to me? I would never do something like that to you or to anyone!" She stared at him in disgust. "I didn't want a baby! I still don't!" He scoffed. "I begged you to come with me! I needed you there with me but you couldn't be bothered!" He blinked. "You probably planned to meet Hannah there! You wanted me to find you with her so I would break up with you!"

He shook his head. "That's not true! I never planned anything!" He stared at her. "Sam, I never wanted to hurt you especially this way. I did and still do love you." She gulped. "But you hurt me more than I ever hurt you." Her eyes widened. "You slept with my best friend. You knew it would kill me when I found out but you did it anyway."

She stared at him. "I wasn't thinking of you when I was with Sirius." He stared at her in surprise. "Just like you weren't thinking of me when you were with Hannah." He let out a shaky breath. "Now, you are free to be with her."

His eyebrow rose. "And, you are free to be with Sirius like you've always wanted."

She pushed him. "I wanted you!" He blinked. "I've wanted you since I was twelve and I thought we were happy!"

He sighed. "We were happy."

She shook her head. "Obviously not if we went to other people when things got intense."

He rubbed his eyes. "If I was never with Hannah, would you have been with Sirius?"

She stared at him. "How can you ask me that?" He looked at her. "No, I wouldn't have been with him!"

He sighed and nodded. "I see." She rolled her eyes. "I still can't believe you cheated on me with my best friend."

She glared at him. "I didn't cheat on you!" He gave her a look. "It was over between us the moment I saw _you_ cheat on me with that bitch!" He rolled his eyes. "Did you know when I walked in on the two of you that Hannah was smirking at me?" He looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore since we're over." She looked at him. "I hope you're happy with her." She said sarcastically. "Now, I'm going upstairs. Don't talk to me and stay out of my life."

He grabbed her and dragged her away from the stairs. She fought against him. "We aren't done yet, Samantha!" He put her down. She glared at him. "I am not going to be out of your life!" She groaned loudly. He glared at her. "We need to work this out!"

She rolled her eyes. "There is nothing to work out! We're over!"

He shook his head. "No, we're not!"

She stared at him. "You are free to be with Hannah. Why are you trying so hard to get us back together?"

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I made a mistake. I made a horribly unforgivable mistake." She nodded slowly. "But I still love you, Sam." She sighed. "I don't think I could stand it if I was forced out of your life."

She bit her lip. "I still love you too, Remus." He smiled. "But you cheated on me with Hannah when we thought I was pregnant. I had to see you with her." Her chin trembled. "How can I forgive you?"

He stared at her. "I'm willing to try to forgive you for cheating on me." He stopped her from interrupting. "No matter what you say, we were still together when you slept with Sirius, Sam."

She looked down at the ground. "I know." She whispered. He blinked. "I am sorry for cheating on you, Remus. I really am."

He nodded. "I know you are and I am truly sorry for cheating on you with Hannah."

She looked at him. "Do you want to be with Hannah?"

He sighed. "I think I do." Her chin trembled. "Do you want to be with Sirius?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I know he wants to be with me."

He blinked. "Does he?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes, he does." She gulped. "He told me…"

He put his hands on her shoulders. "What did he tell you?"

She sighed. "He told me he's in love with me. He's always been in love with me." His eyes widened. "I-I…I told him I was in love with him too."

He choked. "You did what?" She winced when his grip on her shoulders tightened. "How could you say something like that? Did you mean it?"

She shook her head. "No! Yes! I don't know!" He stared at her intently. "Remus, I was so upset about seeing you with Hannah and…I was so confused." He nodded slowly. She started to cry. "Remus, I know I still love you and I always will but…I think I do have feelings for Sirius." He pulled away from her. She stared at his back. "Remus, we were so happy and in love but now, everything has just turned out so bad."

He sighed. "I know."

She stared at him. "What do we do, Remus?" He sighed again. "We still love each other but we want other people. What do we do?"

He turned around to face her. "I don't know." He muttered.

She wiped her eyes. "Do…do you want to break up?" He shook his head slowly. "I see."

He stared at her. "Do you want to break up?"

She shrugged. "After I saw you with her, I planned to break up with you. Now, I just don't know." He nodded slowly. "If we do stay together, how can I forgive you?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I don't know but I'm willing to try and forgive you." He sighed. "I don't want to break up, Sam."

She bit her lip. "What about Hannah?"

His eyebrow rose. "What about Sirius?"

She gave him a look. "Remus, would you be serious?" He growled. "No, I mean _serious_, not Sirius." She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." He nodded. "What about Hannah?"

He shrugged. "I do…like her." She rolled her eyes. "But I love you. I know we both made mistakes last night but I don't want to lose what we have over a few moments of stupidity." She nodded slowly. "What about Sirius?"

She shrugged. "I care for him." He sneered. "But I love you and don't want to lose what we have either."

He stood in front of her. "We can try again, Sammy." She looked up at him. "We can try to forgive each other and try again."

She took a deep breath. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "Remus…"

He held her face in his hands. "I love you, Samantha. I always will. I'm not ready to lose you. I can't." Her chin trembled. "I know we…drifted but we can get past all this crap and get back to where we used to be."

She had a small smile on her face. "Do you really think we can do that?" He nodded. "I do want to try but I don't want to hate you whenever I see you with Hannah."

He sighed and nodded. "I understand." She stared at him. "I will have to talk to her because we have the same classes." She sighed. "But that's it." She smiled. "What are you going to do about Sirius? I'm only asking because if I see him near you, I might try and kill him."

She bit her lip. "I'll keep my distance from him." He smiled. "I'll have to tell him that we're back together." He scowled. "But I will keep my distance."

He put his arms around her. "We can do this, Sam. We can get back to the way we used to be."

Her head cocked to the side. "What if it doesn't work out between us?"

He sighed. "If it doesn't, at least we know we tried." She nodded slowly. "Will you give us another try?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes, I will."

He smiled and kissed her. "You won't regret it." She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "You're the only one I've ever loved, Samantha. I will always love you."

She put her arms around his neck. "Oh Remus, I love only you and always will."

They kissed. "I'm glad to hear it." She laughed. They held onto each other as they kissed deeply. They didn't realize when someone walked in. They tightened their hold on each other. Remus was pushed away from Sam. "What the hell?" They turned and stared at Sirius. Sam paled when she saw him. "What the hell was that, Padfoot?"

Sirius glared at him. "Why the hell are you kissing her, Moony?"

Remus sneered. "She's my girlfriend, that's why!"

He growled. "No, she isn't! She broke up with you! She's with me now!"

His eyes narrowed. "Sam and I decided to stay together! She is _my_ girlfriend, not yours!"

Sirius blinked. "What?" He turned his head to look at her. Sam gulped. "Sammy, is what he's saying true? Are you still with him?" She nodded slowly. "Why would you stay with him after what he's done?"

Remus growled. "After what I've done? You slept with my girlfriend!"

Sam put a hand on Remus' arm to stop him from talking. "Remus, please, let me talk to him." He looked at her before nodding. She let out a shaky breath. "Sirius, it is true that Remus and I have decided to stay together." He nodded. She sighed. "We still love each other and want to give it another shot." He shook his head. "He promised to stay away from Hannah." Sirius scoffed. "And, I promised to stay away from you." His eyes widened. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

He looked like he was in pain and she hated that she hurt him. "No, you can't mean that! How can you stay with him after what happened between us last night?" She sighed. "What about what I told you?"

He smirked. "Are you talking about being in love with her?"

She held in a groan when Sirius stared at her with wide eyes. "I had to tell him, Sirius." He just stared at her. "I'm…Remus and I decided to start over and I had to tell him about everything."

He stared at her. "Did you tell him that you said you were in love with me too?"

He nodded. "Yes, she did. She also said she was upset and confused when she told you that."

He glared at him. "That's a lie! She does love me! You just made her feel guilty so she would take you back!" Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius stood in front of Sam. "You said you were in love with me too. You said we would be together." She gulped. "Was it all a lie?"

She let out a shaky breath. "Sirius, I do care for you and…and when we were together, it meant a lot to me." Remus growled. She glanced at him before looking back at Sirius. "But…but I'm with Remus and I want to be with him. We are going to try to forgive each other and try to get back to the way we used to be." He stared at her as if he never saw her before in his life. "I am sorry, Sirius. I never…I don't mean to hurt you. I hope you can forgive me and I hope we can still be friends."

"_Friends_?" He spat out the word as if it disgusted him. "You want us to be _friends_?" She nodded. "Last night, when we were together, we…we…it was like we connected. I never felt anything like that before and you said the same thing too! You never felt anything like that before with Remus! That's what you said!"

Remus looked at her closely. "You said that?" She closed her eyes and sighed. "Sam?"

Sam nodded slowly. "I did say that." Remus growled. "But I just meant it was different with Sirius! The two of you are so different!"

Sirius scoffed. "That's not what you meant and you know it!" She stared at him. "You love me, Sammy! I know you do! You wouldn't say you were in love with someone if you didn't mean it!"

He rubbed his eyes. "He's right, Sam. You wouldn't say something so important like that if you didn't mean it." She bit her lip. "Do you love me? Are you in love with me?" She nodded eagerly. "Are you also in love with Sirius?" She shrugged. "What does that mean, Sam?"

She let out a shaky breath. "I'm in love with you, Remus, but I do have feelings for Sirius."

He smiled. "You love me, Sam. You said so last night."

He sighed. "She may have said it but she was upset!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sam, we need to know the truth. Who do you want to be with? Do you want him or me?" She sighed. "What's your decision?"

She stared at them. She sighed. She loved Remus. She had loved him for so long and still did but the night she spent with Sirius changed things. Her feelings for Sirius came surging back and she didn't know what to do. She knew if she chose one over the other, she would lose the friendship she had with the one she hurt. She had to make a decision but she hated the fact that they would all end up hurt in the end. "I…I…" They stared at her expectantly. "Sirius-" He smiled. "I do care for you but I want to try and work things out with Remus."

His face fell. "No…" Her eyes watered. "Sam, you can't mean that." She gulped. "You said you couldn't be with him anymore. You said we could be together."

Her chin trembled. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

He sneered. "You said that last night! You told me you didn't want to hurt me and that you weren't using me to get over _him_!" She sighed. "But that's exactly what you did!" She blinked when he yelled. "You said you weren't using me but you were!"

He stared at his best friend and couldn't believe how upset he was. He knew Sirius' feelings for Sam had changed but he had no idea he was truly in love with Sam. "Sirius, you know Sam never meant to hurt or use you." Sirius glared at him. "She chose me, mate. I'm sorry you had to get hurt."

He stared at them in disgust. "The two of you make me sick!" Sam sighed. "Don't either of you come near me! I don't want to even look at you!" He turned to Sam. Her eyes widened when she saw how much pain he was in. "I love you more than anyone! I would have treated you better than he ever did! I wouldn't have deserted you when you needed me the most and I would have never cheated on you! I would have never made you doubt what I feel for you! I would have never hurt you!" She gulped. "But you ruined it! You ruined everything and I will never forgive you!" She shook her head. "You are heartless and selfish!"

She shook her head. "Sirius, I'm so sorry!"

He sneered. "Stay the hell away from me, Samantha! I don't want you near me! I want to forget you ever existed!" He left.

Sam turned to Remus. "I never meant for this to happen." He nodded. "I am sorry for hurting him."

Remus held her to him. "I know, Baby." He kissed her. "He'll get over it and forgive us eventually." They kissed. "It will all be ok. Don't worry." He caressed her cheek. "I love you, Sam."

She bit her lip. "I love you too, Remus."

* * *

Kathleen watched Sirius as he stared silently into the haze. She sighed. "After that, you stayed as far away as you could from Remus and Sam. No matter what you did, you couldn't get over what happened. You created a spell to help you forget about that night you shared with Sam and the next night. Remus had trouble forgetting you were with Sam. You performed the charm on him as well while making sure he remembered cheating on Sam. Before you performed the charm on yourself, you wrote Sam a letter explaining why you had to forget and you told her to give you the letter back if there was some reason you needed to remember." He remained silent. "Sam and Remus broke up the night of the Christmas Ball like they were always meant to and…" He glanced at her before turning back to look into the haze. "You did forget the night you shared with Sam but you couldn't forget your feelings for her. You still went after her. You still loved her and she did fall in love with you. The closer the two of you got, the worse her guilt grew. She showed you the letter and…you were upset. You yelled and threw things. You wouldn't speak to her for days but, eventually, you calmed down and forgave her. The two of you were happy for some time before….what happened in reality happened in the what-if vision I showed you." She sighed. "That's what would have happened." He nodded slowly. "Do you have anything to say, Sirius?"

Sirius sighed before turning around to face her. "Even in what-if land, she still chose someone else over me." She sighed. "She always chooses someone else over me."

She shook her head. "That's not true, Sirius." He scoffed. "Sam loves you, Sirius."

He stared at her. "Then why does she push me away? Why did she run to Snivellus and Remus?"

She gave him a look. "If memory serves me, you broke up with her so you could screw around with Sarah!" He sighed and nodded. "I have to ask." He looked at her. "You hated being with Sarah. She annoyed the hell out of you." He nodded. "Why the hell did you stay with her if you hated her so much?"

He shrugged. "I don't know." She rolled her eyes. "I told Sam that I wanted to be with Sarah." She nodded slowly. "I guess I thought I had to stay with her to make Sam believe that I did want Sarah."

She rolled her eyes. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

He nodded and shrugged. "I never said my logic wasn't flawed." She laughed lightly. His head cocked to the side as he stared at her. "Did you say I created a spell to make…would-be me forget about my night with would-be Sam?"

She nodded. "Yes, I did." He smiled slightly. "Don't even think about it, Sirius!"

He looked confused. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb with me!" He blinked. "You are thinking about trying to figure out how to create that charm so you could make Sam forget what happened because you think if she forgot, she would be with you again."

He shrugged. "So, what's wrong with that?"

She sighed. "If you did go through with it, you would end up feeling guilty for deceiving her like that and you would tell her the truth. She would lose it and you would be worse off than you were on your wedding night. You'd be back at square one. Is that what you want?"

He shook his head and sighed. "No, it isn't."

She smiled. "Good. I knew you were smart." He smiled. "Are you ready to continue?" He nodded. "The next thing you will be seeing is one of Sam's childhood memories." He looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "Sam may have told you about it but I think it will be better if you see it. You might actually believe her." He nodded slowly. "Are you ready?" He took a deep breath before nodding. "Let's begin."

* * *

Sirius took his surroundings in. He blinked in confusion when he realized he was on James and Sam's block. He saw their house and smiled. He was home. His eyebrows furrowed together. He was home but, he realized, it was before he ever went there. He didn't know how he knew this. He just did. He looked down the block and froze. A young portly girl with long dark brown hair, chubby cheeks decorated with freckles, and buck teeth was running towards him while panting uncontrollably. His eyes widened. The girl kept looking over her shoulder as she ran as fast as she could. She looked scared. Sirius tried to stop her to see if he could help but she ran right through his body. He blinked. "What the hell?" He ran to catch up to her. He caught a better look at her face. He choked. "Sammy?" The girl stopped and turned her head. She was trying to catch her breath. He smiled. "Sammy, why are you running like your life depends on it?" Sam's eyes widened when she saw a group of children yelling and running towards her. "What the hell is going on?" Sam ran towards her house but was stopped when the group of children caught up and formed a circle around her. Sirius' eyebrow rose. "I don't like the looks of this."

A pointy faced red headed boy who seemed to be the leader stepped forward. "Why were you running away from us, freak? We're not going to hurt you."

Sam's buck teeth bit her lip. Sirius sighed. "I-I'm not a freak, Tommy."

The children laughed. Tommy smirked. "Yes, you are, freak!" Sam shook her head. His eyes narrowed. "If we say you're a freak then you are one!" She rolled her eyes. He pushed her. "Sammy is a freak! Sammy is a freak! Sammy is a freak!" The others joined in on the chant. Sirius growled. Tommy laughed. "You look like a dog that got its butt shaved and was trained to walk backwards!" The children howled with laughter. Sam flushed. Sirius tried to punch Tommy but nothing happened. Tommy's head cocked to the side. "Hey freak! Did you know when you bite your lip with your buck teeth it makes you look like a chipmunk?" They howled with laughter. They started chanting. "Chipmunk is a freak! Chipmunk is a freak!"

Sam's eyes narrowed. "I am _NOT_ a chipmunk or a freak!" She pushed Tommy.

Sirius smiled. "You tell them, Sammy!"

Tommy glared at her as he pushed her into some surrounding children. "Don't push me, freak! I might catch something from your fat ugly git self!" The children pushed and pulled Sam all around the circle. She tried pushing them away but they would just hit her. He looked at one of the girls in the circle and nodded as he smirked. "No one wants a chipmunk looking freak like you around!"

James came to stand in the circle. Sirius sighed in relief. He knew that James wouldn't let them hurt Sam. "What's going on? What did I miss?"

Tommy smirked. "We found your freak sister!" James laughed and nodded. Sirius sneered. He vowed to himself that if he ever saw the real James again, he'd kick his ass. "She says she isn't a freak that looks like a chipmunk!"

James laughed. "Sammy, you are a freak that looks like a chipmunk!"

Sirius growled. "I am _so_ kicking your ass when I wake up!"

Sam shook her head. "I'm not a chipmunk or a freak, James." He rolled his eyes and pushed her back into the circle when she tried to leave. She bit her lip. "James, why are you saying that? Mama and Daddy say I'm not a freak. I'm special." The children laughed. Sirius looked at her with sad eyes. He forgot how innocent and sweet Sam used to be. She looked at the laughing children with a confused expression. "What? I am special. Mama and Daddy wouldn't lie!"

A blonde haired boy laughed. "You are special." Sam smiled at him. "You are a special kind of chipmunk freak!"

Her face fell. "No, I'm not!" She looked at them. "Why are you being so mean to me?"

A girl with pigtails pushed Sam. "It's because we don't like freaks like you!"

Her chin trembled. "But…but you were nice to me yesterday! Why are you being mean to me today?"

Tommy laughed. "We only realized what a freak you are today!"

Sam glared at him. "I'm _NOT _a freak!"

A girl with light brown hair stepped forward. Sirius recognized her as Molly St. John. She was briefly a friend of Sam's when they were kids. Molly held out her hand. Sirius saw the rock and groaned. He had a feeling he wouldn't like where this was going. She smiled at Sam. "Sammy, did you see this rock? Isn't it wonderful?"

Sirius shook his head aggressively. "Don't do it, Sammy! Don't go near her!"

Sam smiled as she stepped towards her to look at the rock. Her smile grew as she looked at Molly. "Yes, it is, Molly!" The children snickered. "Where did you find it? It's beautiful!"

Molly smirked. "I found it in your pig pen!" Sirius gritted his teeth. He couldn't take much more of this. He wanted to kick the crap out of every single person tormenting his wife. Sam looked at Molly in surprise. She didn't understand why her friend was saying such things. "Do you like living in a pig pen, freak?"

Her head cocked to the side. "You know I don't live in a pig pen, Molly." Molly giggled. "Mama is taking me to the shops later and said I could bring a friend. Do you want to come?"

Sirius had a pained look on his face. His heart was breaking for Sam. She really was too sweet for her own good. "Sammy, no-!"

Molly laughed. "Why would I do that? I'm not your friend, freak!"

She blinked. "Yes, you are! You came over to play the other day! Mama gave us cookies and milk!"

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Sammy, please, stop being so nice! You're killing me!"

Molly sneered as the children laughed. "I could never be friends with a freak like you!" She pushed her and Sam stumbled. "You are a stupid chipmunk freak and we are not friends!"

The children pushed Sam and she fell to the ground. Sam bit her lip as she cradled her arm. "Sammy is a chipmunk freak! Sammy is a chipmunk freak!" They chanted.

Molly threw the rock at Sam. It hit her cheek and blood appeared. Sirius' eyes widened. Sam started to cry. That made the children laugh harder. James shook his head. "You can't throw rocks at my sister! No one said anything about throwing rocks!"

Sirius looked at him incredulously. "You start defending her now? Are you kidding me?"

Evelyn came outside. "What's going on?" The children ran for it. She came running over. Her eyes widened when she saw Sam on the ground curled up in a ball and cradling her arm. "Sammy, what happened?" She cradled Sam's head. "Why are you bleeding?" She looked at him. "James, what the hell happened to her?"

Sam bit her trembling lip as James stuttered. "Everyone…" Evelyn stared at her daughter closely. "I-I was playing…" Evelyn nodded slowly. "Everyone started making fun of me before they…they chased me from the playground to here." Evelyn's eyes widened. "T-They kept pushing me and c-calling me names." Sam's chin trembled. Sirius knelt down beside them and sighed. "They said I looked like a dog that got its butt shaved and was trained to walk backwards." James snorted. Evelyn and Sirius glared at him. "They kept saying I was a freak." Evelyn sighed. "They said I looked like a chipmunk and then, started calling me a chipmunk freak." Evelyn's eyes narrowed. "M-Molly said we weren't friends. She said she could never be friends with a freak like me." Sam's chin trembled. "They started pushing me and Molly threw a rock at me." Evelyn growled. "I-I fell and hurt my arm."

She hugged her daughter tightly. "My poor Sammy." She kissed the top of Sam's head before glaring at James. "Why the hell didn't you try and stop them, James?"

She wiped her eyes and winced when she grazed the cut on her cheek. "Don't be mad at James, Mama." She glanced at him. James gulped. He knew she was going to lie to protect him. "James tried to stop them but they wouldn't."

Her eyebrow rose. "Are you lying to protect your brother, Sammy?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not, Mama."

Sirius stared at her in confusion. "Why the hell are you protecting him after what he did?"

Evelyn sighed. It was obvious she didn't believe her. She looked at James. "We'll talk about this later, young man." She whispered. He nodded quickly. "Come on, Sammy. Let's go inside. I'll clean you up and then, we'll go to the shops." Sam smiled. Evelyn tried to pick Sam up and groaned. "James, go inside and get your father. I can't lift Sam." James nodded and ran off. Evelyn blinked when she saw Sam crying. "What is it, Baby? What else is wrong?"

Sam cried into Evelyn's chest. "Mama?" Evelyn stroked her hair. "Am I ugly and fat?" Evelyn's eyes widened. "That's what Tommy McGregor said." Evelyn sighed. "You think I'm ugly and fat, don't you, Mama?"

Sirius had a pained look on his face. "Sammy, don't listen to them. They are gits."

Evelyn shook her head. "I don't think that, Baby. You are beautiful."

She bit her lip and stared at her mother. "But you think I'm fat." Evelyn gulped. Sirius stared at Evelyn. "Y-You can't lift me. Only Daddy can pick me up. I am fat and ugly."

Sirius glared at Evelyn when she didn't say anything. All she did was sigh and shrug. "Tell her she isn't fat and ugly, Mum! Tell her now!"

She kissed Sam's forehead and smiled. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world, Sammy." Sam stared at her. Evelyn sighed. "Ok, you are a little overweight." Sam's chin trembled. Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. "But it is alright! We can fix that!" Sam stared at her in confusion. "Maybe you shouldn't eat so many cookies at snack time or have thirds at dinner time." Sam nodded slowly. "And, when you get upset, you shouldn't eat junk to feel better."

She nodded slowly. "I won't do that anymore." Evelyn smiled. "I'm sorry, Mama."

She looked confused. "Why are you apologizing, Sammy?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry I'm so fat you can't pick me up."

She let out a tiny groan. "Sammy, stop that." Sam looked at her. "You have no reason to apologize. You aren't at fault." Sam nodded slowly. She smiled. "You are my beautiful little girl and I love you so very much." Sam smiled. "You are great just the way you are."

She hugged her. "I love you too, Mama." Evelyn smiled. "I'll stop eating so much." Evelyn sighed and nodded. "Mama, can you fix my teeth?" Evelyn looked confused. "They said my teeth make me look like a chipmunk."

She sighed. "Your teeth are fine just the way they are, Sammy. Don't change everything about yourself just because a few gits make fun of you."

She sighed. "But…but they were my friends, Mama."

She kissed her cheek. "They are mean little brats who don't deserve your friendship."

Harold came rushing out with James following close behind him. "James said Sammy was hurt! What happened?" He knelt down next to them. "How did my little girl get hurt?" Evelyn told him about what happened. He growled. "I'll kill those little bastards!" Sirius cheered. Evelyn gave him a look. Harold rolled his eyes. "I won't kill them but I reserve the right to hex their parents!" Sirius and Evelyn laughed. Harold picked Sam up and let out a soft groan. Sam's chin trembled. He blinked. "What's wrong, Baby? Does it hurt to move?"

Sam's eyes watered. "It hurts you to pick me up."

His face scrunched up in confusion. "What?" Sirius sighed. Evelyn shook her head. He nodded before smiling at Sam and kissed her cheek. "Come on, Sammy! We'll go inside and have some cookies after Mama patches you up!" Sam started to cry. His eyes widened. "What's wrong?" Evelyn shook her head aggressively. He held her closer to him. "Ok, we'll go inside, Mama will patch you up, and we'll have…a tea party! Mr. Snuggles can join us!" Sam giggled. Sirius smiled. "Do I have to wear a top hat this time?"

Sam giggled when Harold made funny faces. "Yes, you do, Daddy!" Harold pouted. She giggled again. "You look even more handsome when you wear it, Daddy!"

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "Ok, I'll be even more handsome and wear it." Sam beamed. "But you have to wear your princess crown so you can be even more beautiful than you are right now!" Sam sighed and nodded. "What's wrong, angel?"

She stared at him. "Daddy, do you really think I'm beautiful?" He nodded eagerly. "Do you think I'm fat?" He blinked. "Do you, Daddy?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "No, I don't. I think you are perfect just the way you are, Sammy!" Sam smiled. "You are just too wonderful for words, Baby! You are smart, beautiful, and sweet! I'm lucky to have an amazing daughter like you!"

She snuggled closer to him. "Thank you, Daddy."

He kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome." They hugged. "I love you, Sammy."

She kissed his cheek and smiled. "I love you too, Daddy. You're the greatest Daddy in the whole wide world!"

He laughed and nodded. "I know." She giggled. "You are the greatest daughter in the whole wide world!"

She giggled. "I know!"

Sirius smiled before sighing. "I wish they were still like this."

Evelyn looked at James. "I want you to stay away from those brats from now on, James." She said after Harold and Sam went into the house. James groaned. Evelyn gave him a look. "I know you were helping them tease Sammy." He gulped. She sighed. "James, you know Sammy is very shy and she doesn't make friends easily." Sirius looked confused. He knew Sam used to be incredibly shy and still had moments of shyness but she never had trouble making friends. "You are her older brother and you have to protect her." James sighed and nodded. "You are her best friend, James. You can't play with those children anymore."

James nodded. "I won't, Mama." Evelyn smiled and kissed his cheek before walking into the house. He scowled. "Thanks a lot, Sammy." He grumbled before going into the house.

* * *

Kathleen stared at him. "So, what did you think?"

Sirius glared at her. "What did I think?" She nodded. "That…that was horrible!" She sighed and nodded. "They were so cruel to her!" She nodded. "James…James didn't even help her until that little bitch threw a rock at her!" She stared at him. "And, Mum…Mum…why didn't she just tell Sammy she wasn't fat?"

She shrugged. "Evelyn thought she was helping her."

He rolled his eyes. "Some help she was! No wonder Sam has issues with food!" He looked at her. "Is this why she sometimes stops eating?"

She sighed. "It was the start of it but that git Patrick really made it happen." He looked confused. "Didn't Sammy ever tell you about what he would do and say to her?"

He shrugged. "She told me some things but she usually glossed over it."

She sighed again. "He was horrible to her."

He blinked. "How so?"

She shook her head. "She should tell you."

He gave her a look. "Well, she isn't here! You are! There is also a chance that I'll never see her again! So tell me what you know! I need to know!" He sighed. "What the hell did that git do to my wife?"

She bit her lip. It reminded him of Sam and he smiled. "Before I show you how he treated her, you have to promise that if you wake up, you won't try and kill him?" He blinked. "Do I have your word on this, Sirius?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever." She rolled her eyes. He rolled his eyes and groaned. "Fine! I promise I won't kill him!"

She nodded slowly. "Come here." He stood in front of her. "Close your eyes." He did as he was told. She put her hands over his eyes and he struggled against her as he saw flashes of Sam's relationship with Patrick. When it was over, she removed her hands. Sirius gasped for air. She looked at him. "That was a brief overview of their relationship."

He growled. "You're lucky you made me promise not to kill that asshole!" She nodded. "Why didn't she tell me?" He looked at her. "Did she tell Remus?"

She shrugged. "She told him the same thing she told you."

He stared at her. "Has she told anyone?"

She sighed and nodded. "She told someone finally." He nodded slowly. "She told her old counselor tonight for the first time while you were being attacked."

He gulped. "She told Andrew?" She nodded. "Why didn't she say anything sooner? Why did she stay with him? Why didn't she say anything while she was dating that asshole?"

She shrugged. "Those are all good questions to ask Sam if and when you wake up." He shook his head. "Only Sam has answers to those questions. She knows why she stayed with him. She has the answers you want."

His head cocked to the side. "Will she tell me about all of this?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, she will. She may have some difficulty talking about it but if you are patient, she will tell you all about it and answer any question about the situation you want to ask." He nodded. She stared at him. "You're really worried about her, aren't you?"

He rubbed his eyes. "What he did and said to her…it all makes sense now, you know?" She looked confused. "It makes sense why she is the way she is with certain things." She sighed and nodded. "I always thought Remus and I were to blame." Her eyebrow rose. "No, we didn't help matters but it wasn't entirely our fault either." She nodded. "Patrick is more than partly to blame for her not eating." She stared at him. He gulped. "She stops eating and…I worry about her. I don't want her to start doing that again. She can't start doing that again. If she does start again, I might lose her. I want to help her." He looked at her. "How do I help her?" She sighed. "Please, tell me how. How do I make her realize she doesn't need to do that? How do I make her realize she's great the way she is? How do I make her realize that I love her no matter what and how do I make her realize that I will always love her no matter what she looks like?"

She smiled. "You tell her all of that." He blinked. "You tell her you will love her no matter what she looks like. You tell her you worry about her when she doesn't eat. You tell her all of it and it will help her." She patted his shoulder. "She will listen and she will get the help she needs." He nodded slowly. "Just give her the love and support she needs. Reassure her when she starts to doubt herself or you. That's all you can do."

He sighed. "I'll do my best."

She smiled. "I know you will."

He smiled. "So, what's next?" She looked confused. "Am I going to see anything else or did I pass the test?" She smiled before sighing. He sighed. "I should have known it wouldn't be this easy."

She nodded. "You're right. It won't be easy. The next two visions will really test you." He nodded. "Are you up for it?"

He stared at her. "If I get through those visions, will I be able to get back to Sam?" She nodded. "Then I'm up for it." She smiled. "Let's get started."

She smiled. "I won't be with you during the next vision." He blinked. "You need to see it on your own." He looked confused. "I was with you during the other visions but you couldn't see me." He nodded. "If you get through the next vision, you will see me in the one after it." He nodded again. "Are you ready?"

He nodded without hesitation. "Yes, I am."

* * *

Sirius opened his eyes and gasped. He was in a run-down version of Hogwarts. Debris from the ceiling was falling down and crashing to the floor. Stairways were crumbling before his eyes. Fluorescent lights that were never there before were all around, humming and flickering. Empty portraits were sliding off of the walls. He turned around slowly and shook his head. "I don't think I'm going to like this." He muttered. He turned his head when he heard a familiar little girl singing. "Sammy?" He whispered.

"_Ring around the rosie. Pocketful of posies'. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall down._"

He took slow steps towards the voice. He stopped short when he saw a ten year old Sam dancing in a circle while singing. He smiled. "Sammy." He stepped closer to her. "Sammy?" She looked up and smiled at him as her face flushed. His smile grew. "Hi Sammy."

Sam bit her lip as her blush grew. "Hi Sirius."

He blinked. It felt like he had gone back in time when she looked at him like he was the greatest thing she ever saw before in her life. She smiled. "What are you doing?"

She smiled. "I'm playing." He nodded slowly. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "Will you play with me?"

Sirius looked confused. "What?" She stared at him with anxious eyes. He smiled. "I will but I don't think I know how."

Sam giggled. "It's easy!" She held his hands and started to skip around in a circle. He followed her with awkward skips. "_Ring around the rosie. Pocketful of posies'. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall down._" She dropped to the floor. He followed. She giggled. "That was fun." He laughed and nodded. Her head cocked to the side as she stared at him. "Sirius?" He smiled at her. She smiled. "Thank you for playing with me."

He nodded and shrugged. "You're welcome. I had fun." She beamed. He smiled at her. "You look just as I remember." Her head cocked to the side. "I almost forgot how sweet you used to be."

She giggled. "Am I mean now?"

He smiled. "No, you're not." She nodded slowly. "Sammy?" She looked at him. "What are we doing here?"

She shrugged and twirled around. "I don't know."

He nodded. "I see." She looked at him and blushed. He let out a tiny laugh. "Why are you blushing?"

She stood in front of him. He stared at her. She put her tiny arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He sighed and rubbed her back. "You're the most handsome boy I've ever met."

He let out a tiny laugh. "And, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met."

She stared at him with a wide smile. "I am?" He nodded eagerly. "I love you forever and ever, Sirius!" She said with a giggle.

He smiled. "I love you forever and ever, Sammy." She beamed. "I did marry you after all."

Her head cocked to the side. "Sirius, a man can't marry a ten year old! That's gross!"

He laughed. "That's right. A man marrying a ten year old is gross." She looked confused. "We get married when you are sixteen."

She blinked. "We do?" He nodded eagerly. She beamed. "I knew it!" He laughed and nodded. She giggled. "Do we love each other lots and kiss all the time?" He let out a barking laugh and nodded. "And, have we only ever loved each other?"

He sighed. "I…_dated_ a lot of girls before we got together." She nodded. "You dated a few guys." She looked shocked. "You fell in love with only one other person besides me. You fell in love with Remus."

She looked confused. "Who's Remus?"

He beamed. "It doesn't matter." She nodded slowly. "Just always…keep thinking 'Remus who?'"

She looked utterly confused. "Um…ok?" He smiled. "But do I love you more than Remus?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yes, you do." She smiled. "We're soul mates, Sammy." Her eyes widened in delight. "We love each other more than anything in the world. We have a bond that can never be broken." She hugged him tightly. He closed his eyes and smiled. "I just need you to always remember that."

She kissed his cheek. "Oh, I will!" He laughed and nodded. "Sirius?" He looked at her. "Was our wedding terribly romantic?"

He laughed. "Yes, it was." She beamed. "Mum and Dad didn't want us to get married because they thought we were too young. We ran away and eloped. James walked you down the aisle. Lily and Remus were there."

She blinked. "Who are Lily and Remus?"

He smiled. "Lily is your very best friend. The two of you are like sisters."

She bit her lip. "Is that true?" He nodded slowly. "Is she really my very best friend? Is she mean to me?"

He sighed. He knew why she was asking. "She is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. The two of you do everything together." She smiled. "Don't worry, Sammy. You make great friends when you go to Hogwarts." Her smile grew. "You never have to worry about being bullied ever again."

She smiled shyly. "Are you telling the truth?"

He nodded. "Yes, I am."

She hugged him. He held onto her tightly. "Thank you, Sirius." He smiled. "I love you forever and ever, Sirius."

He closed his eyes as his smile grew. "I love you forever and ever, Sammy." He froze when a loud guttural groan came from the building. The building started to shake. He stood up and turned his head side-to-side to see if he could spot what the cause of the shaking was. An unholy shriek rippled through the building. Windows started to shatter. He pulled Sam down to the ground and covered her with his body. Glass fell down on him like rain drops in a torrential storm. He eased off of her when the glass stopped falling. He stared at her. "Are you-?" The landing they were on started to shake. It was about to fall. He grabbed her and made her jump to the other landing. As the ground beneath him started to crumble, he flung himself over to her. He let out a gasp of air. "What the hell is happening?"

She smiled and giggled. "Everything is falling apart around us, Sirius."

He blinked. "W-What?" She continued to smile. "Sammy-?" She laughed as she ran away from him down the hall. His eyes widened when he realized she was headed for a darkened hallway. He had a feeling deep inside that that wasn't a good place for them to go. "Sammy, no, don't go there!"

Sam turned her head and laughed. "Come on, Sirius!" He got up and chased after her. "Hurry up and catch me or you'll lose me!" She disappeared into the darkness.

Sirius' eyes widened bulged out of his head. "No, Sammy, come back!" He stopped running just before the darkness. He could still hear her laughing. He let out a shaky breath. He knew he had to follow her into the darkness. She wasn't safe there without him. He took a deep breath before he followed her into the darkness. He called her name as he ran but she didn't respond. He ran until he was surrounded by the fluorescent lights once again. He was back standing on a landing. He blinked to adjust his eyes to the bright lights. He froze when he heard a little girl crying. He saw ten year old Sam sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest crying into her hands. He gulped. "Sammy?" She didn't answer. He walked over and knelt down in front of her. "Sammy, what's wrong? Why are you crying? What happened?"

Her chin trembled as she stared at him. "Are you…do you hurt me, Sirius?"

He looked confused. "What?"

She bit her lip. "Do you hurt me? Are you going to hurt me?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, I'm not going to hurt you, Sammy. Why do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

She stared at him. "She said you hurt me."

He blinked. "Who said I'm going to hurt you?"

She turned and pointed. "She did."

He looked to where she was pointing. His eyes widened as he gasped. He saw sixteen year old Sam suspended in air. She was covered in a bright light. She was wearing the nightgown she wore when she tried to kill herself but there was no blood on it this time. Her hair was floating. Her legs were close together and her arms were spread out like the savior on the cross giving his ultimate sacrifice. Her once dark soulful brown eyes were ice blue and her skin was so pale, it was practically translucent. Sixteen year old Sam stared at him as he stood up slowly. It was like she was staring right through him. "What is going on?" He muttered.

She looked at him. "Sirius?" He looked down at ten year old Sam. She bit her lip. "Are you going to hurt me?"

He knelt down in front of her and sighed. "No, Sammy, I'm not going to hurt you." The floating Sam let out a loud groan. His eyes widened. "What the hell?"

Sam looked at him. "She said you're lying."

He blinked. "C-Can you understand her, Sammy?" She nodded and bit her lip. "What is going on?"

The lights surrounding the floating Sam intensified as she let out a deep groan that caused the building to shake once more. The little girl stared at him with fearful eyes. "S-She says you are going to h-hurt me. S-She says to stay away from you."

He shook his head. "I'm not going to hurt you, Sammy."

The floating Sam stared at him. "_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_" She hissed

His eyes widened. "What is she saying, Sammy?"

Her chin trembled. "Please, don't hurt me, Sirius."

He let out a shaky breath. He sat down in front of her. "I won't." Floating Sam groaned and hissed at him. "What is it?" He yelled at her.

"_Hturt eht reh llet!_"

He looked confused. "I don't understand!"

She looked at him. "She says to tell me the truth."

He stared at her in confusion. Realization dawned on him after a moment and he rubbed his eyes as he sighed. He knew what the floating Sam wanted him to say. "I-I do hurt you, Sammy."

Her face fell. "W-Why?"

He had a pained look on his face. "I-I don't know."

"_Hturt eht llet!_"

He groaned. "I-I…we got together and fell in love." Sam nodded quickly. "But I was scared. I got scared by how much you love me and how much I love you." Sam looked confused. "Sammy, you love me so much…more than anyone ever has and I was just so scared to let you in, to show you how much you mean to me, and to show you how much I love you too." She nodded slowly. "I-I became mean and I hurt you so much but I am so sorry, Sammy. You'll never know how sorry I am or how much I will always regret what I did because I lost you, Sammy! I never wanted to lose you but I did because I was a scared fool!" Sam stared at him. He had tears in his eyes. "I'll always regret hurting you and losing you because I was a scared and selfish prat." He wiped his eyes. "I am not scared of loving you anymore! I love you more than anything in the world! I lost you because of fear and I'm trying to get you back!" His shoulders shook. "I swear I won't hurt you anymore, Sammy. All I want is for us to be together and for us to always be together and be happy." He looked down at the ground as he let a few stray tears escape his eyes. "Please, believe me. You have to believe me, Sammy."

Sam stood up and placed her little hand on his shoulder. He looked up and stared at her. She smiled gently. "I believe you, Sirius." He let out a shaky sigh of relief. She looked at the floating Sam when she groaned. "I believe him!" Floating Sam shook her head. Sam ignored her and turned back to him. "I believe you."

Sirius hugged her tightly and cried into her hair. "Thank you, Sammy! Thank you!" He looked into the little girl's eyes and smiled. "I'll never hurt you again." She smiled before her eyes widened. She was looking past him. "What? What is it?" He turned his head and paled. A third Sam was walking towards them. Her eyes were black and sunken in. Her face was hallow. Her hair was long and stringy. She was wearing the same nightgown as floating Sam but it was covered in blood. Blood was pouring out of her wrists and soaking her hands. He stared into her eyes and was lost in a black abyss of pain. There was an unbearable pain in his chest as he continued to stare into her eyes. "What-?" She stared at them as she walked past them. Ten year old Sam followed her. He tried to stop her. "Sammy, no, don't-!"

She looked at him and smiled. "She won't hurt me, Sirius."

He watched as the little girl took the hallowed Sam's hand and guided her to stand by the wall. Hallow Sam rested against the wall and sighed. The little girl turned her head when she heard crazy chattering. Sirius stood up on shaky legs and followed her while being aware that floating Sam and hallow Sam watched his movements closely. Sam glanced at him before walking over to the crazy chattering figure. He gasped when he saw another Sam. She was sitting on the floor with her knees to her chest and she was wearing the shirt he gave her. She kept running her hands through her hair as she chattered on with incoherent words and she was crying. Sirius and ten year old Sam stood and watched her as she started to rock back and forth. The little girl touched her shoulder. Chattering Sam looked at her. The chattering grew louder and chattering Sam kept shaking her head. The little girl nodded and sighed. "What is she saying, Sammy?"

She sighed when she looked at him. "She hears voices. They won't stop talking to her." He gulped. "They are telling her she has to hurt herself."

He touched the chattering Sam's shoulder. She screamed. His eyes widened as he removed his hand. "I'm sorry! I didn't know!" She calmed down and resumed talking to herself. He looked at ten year old Sam. "H-How did she get like this?"

She sighed again. "Instead of leaving you on our wedding night, she went back to you. The two of us were fine for a while but…I…she…she started to hear the voices." He nodded slowly. "She wasn't getting treatment and everything she went through started to take a toll on her." He gulped. "One night, you found her like she is now in the corner of the room you shared. There was no helping her. She had to be locked away so she wouldn't harm herself or others."

He stared at her in horror. "Are…are you telling me the truth?" She nodded. "S-She said she had to leave me to get better but I didn't believe her." She nodded. "I-I never knew it would turn out like this if she did stay." He sighed. "I didn't know."

She smiled. "It's ok, Sirius." He shook his head. "Yes, it is."

He sighed. He forgot how optimistic Sam used to be. She always wanted to make people smile when they were sad. He looked at her and wondered where that Sam went. He didn't know when the sweet girl he fell in love with changed but she did. Yes, she still attempted to be optimistic and make people feel better but there was sadness underneath her cheerfulness. He gasped when he looked up. A fourth Sam stood in front of him. He stared at her in horror. Her face was pale. Her lips were blue. Her eyes, just like the others, were black and sunken in. A rope was tied around her neck. The nightgown she wore, the same one floating and hallow Sam wore, was free of blood. He felt a scream building in his throat but he swallowed it. The blue Sam's head cocked to the side as she stared at him. Blue Sam's movements were awkward and jerky. She hissed at him. "S-Sammy, what…what happened to her?"

She touched blue Sam's arm and smiled at her when blue Sam looked at her. "It's ok, Sam." Blue Sam groaned. "Just stand over there, Sam. It will be alright." Blue Sam looked confused. Sam guided blue Sam over to chattering Sam. Blue Sam stood next to the wall and stared at the little girl as if she was waiting for further instructions. "Stay here, Sam. You'll be fine here." Blue Sam grunted in response and remained where she was. The little girl went back to Sirius and smiled. "Are you ok?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't think I am." She giggled and nodded. "What happened to that Sam?"

She shrugged. "While she was at St. Mungo's, she hung herself." He choked. "She got the letter-" He gulped and nodded. "But she didn't have anything to cut herself with." He nodded slowly. "So, she found a rope instead." He paled. "Mama found her."

He held his head in his hands and groaned. "I don't think I can take much more of this, Sammy." She put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen to you. I never wanted this for you."

She smiled. "I know, Sirius."

He groaned again when he saw another Sam approaching. Like the others, she was pale with a hint of blue shading and had black sunken eyes. This Sam, however, was soaked and shivering. Her blue lips were trembling. He watched on as the little girl guided wet Sam to stand near the others. "Did she drown herself?" The little girl nodded. "Why?"

She smiled. "She couldn't find anything to cut herself with and she couldn't find a rope."

He paled. "I shouldn't have asked." She shrugged. "What-?"

Chattering Sam let out a shriek. His eyes widened. Sam sighed. "The voices won't leave her alone." He shook his head. She smiled. "Don't worry, Sirius. She won't hurt us."

He let out a shaky breath. "I'm not worried about getting hurt, Sammy." She nodded before she started to twirl around. "Why am I seeing all these different Sams, Sammy? Why am I seeing the different ways they killed themselves?" Chattering Sam let out a high pitch laugh that was laced with fear. He glanced at Chattering Sam and shook his head. "And, how one of them went crazy?" Sam kept twirling. "I need to know why, Sammy."

She giggled as she twirled. "_Ring around the rosie. Pocketful of posies'. Ashes. Ashes. We all fall down._"

He grabbed her and shook her. "Stop doing that! I need to know why I'm seeing them! I need answers! Tell me!"

Her chin trembled. He let her go and sighed. "Sirius-"

He sighed again. "Sammy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She nodded slowly. "I just need to know why I'm seeing them."

Floating Sam hissed at him. "_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_" He stared at her. She grunted. "_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

Sirius groaned. "Don't you get it? I don't know what the hell you are saying!" Floating Sam shrieked. The light surrounding her intensified and lit up the building as the building started to shake. His eyes widened. "Oh shit."

Sam shook her head. "You shouldn't have done that, Sirius." He looked at her. "They will be mad and now, more will come."

He blinked. "What are you talking about?" His body stilled. Staircases that were across the hall started to crumble to the ground. He turned his head when he heard what he assumed was thunder. He went pale when he saw an army of Sams coming up the stairs. They all died different ways. His heart was racing in his chest as he gasped for air. They, along with the Sams that were already there, came towards him. They were grunting, groaning, hissing, and shrieking at him. More debris from the ceiling fell to the ground. They pulled and pushed him. They tugged on his hair, clothes, and limbs. He started to scream when a rotting Sam came forward and touched him. "NO!"

Floating Sam threw her head back and let out an ear piercing wail. The stairs that the army of Sams used crumbled to the ground. "_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

"Let me go! No!"

"_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

Ten year old Sam shook her head. "You shouldn't have yelled at her, Sirius."

He had trouble breathing. He felt like his heart was about to explode in his chest. He screamed when rotting Sam pulled him to her. "NO! NO! LET ME GO!"

Sam sighed. "Excuse me?" They turned and stared at her. "Can you, please, let him go?" They stepped back from him. She held out her hand to him and smiled. "It's ok now, Sirius." He clung to her hand as if it was his life line. She stroked his hair as his screaming and shaking started to die down. She looked at them and smiled. "Thank you." They gave her a brief nod. "All of you may rest now." They settled against the wall and sighed. She looked down at Sirius and smiled. "It's alright, Sirius. Don't be scared."

Sirius was trembling uncontrollably. He gripped her hand tightly as he curled up into a ball. He glanced at rotting Sam who stood next to him. "NO! NO MORE! NO!"

Sam glared at rotting Sam. "Go! Get back!" Rotting Sam hissed at her. "Don't make me tell _her_ you aren't listening!" Rotting Sam whimpered and moved away. She looked down at Sirius. "You are safe for now, Sirius."

He was trembling. "No more. I can't take anymore." He muttered.

She blinked. "Do you want to give up, Sirius?" He looked at her. She sighed. His eyes were filled with terror. "Do you want to give up?"

He looked confused. "Give up?" She nodded. Kathleen's words filled his ears. If he gave up, he would not only lose his life, he would also lose Sam. He let out a shaky breath as he sat up. He couldn't die and leave Sam. He refused to let that happen. He had to keep fighting. He may have been scared by them but an eternity without Sam absolutely terrified him. "I-I can't give up. I won't give up."

She smiled gently. "Good answer."

"_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

He rolled his eyes. "She is really starting to piss me off, Sammy." Sam giggled and nodded. "What is she saying, Sammy?"

She closed her eyes and smiled. "Listen." She whispered.

"_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know what she's saying."

"_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

She giggled. "Use your eyes, Sirius. You'll see things clearly with help and then, you'll understand her." He looked confused. "Use your eyes, Sirius."

He stared at Floating Sam closely as she repeated the words he could not begin to understand. It was like she was talking in a language he didn't speak. He shook his head. He turned his head and saw Sam swaying to music he didn't hear. The others were up against the wall, groaning and hissing at him. "I'm using my eyes…but I don't see anything." He rubbed his eyes. "I need to think. I need to think." He muttered. He let out a tiny groan. "I can do this." He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes. He looked around carefully as he tried to drown out the sounds and words escaping from floating Sam's mouth. He sighed. "Sammy, I don't know how I'll be able to understand her."

She giggled. "Use your eyes."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, I'll do that." She giggled and twirled. He looked around again. He froze. A mirror appeared. "Sammy?" She looked at him and smiled. "Would…would this help me?" He asked as he pointed to the mirror.

She giggled and winked at him. "Maybe."

He smiled. "Thank you." She shrugged. He tried to pull the mirror off of the wall. He groaned in frustration. "Come on! Come on!"

"_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

He rolled his eyes. "I know. I know." He muttered. The mirror came off and he held it up. "Finally!" He brought the mirror over to floating Sam. "I hope this works." He muttered.

Floating Sam hissed. "_Em devas evah dluoc uoy!_"

He held the mirror up to her. "Now, you can tell me!"

Floating Sam howled with pain. "You could have saved me!"

His face went white. "W-What?"

She hissed. "You could have saved me!"

He shook his head aggressively. "No! No, I couldn't have!"

"You could have saved me! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME!"

"NO! I couldn't have saved you, Sammy! You have to believe me!"

Floating Sam shrieked. The white light surrounding her turned into fire. His eyes widened. The building started to shake before it began to crumble. The others started to scream when they went up in flames. He choked. Floating Sam stared at him with narrowed eyes full of hate and pain. He couldn't breathe. "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME!"

"Sirius?"

Sirius turned his head and gasped. Ten year old Sam was engulfed in flames but she wasn't burning. "Sammy!" He went to her. He was about to try and put out the flames but she held up her hand to stop him. "Let me help you, Sammy!"

Sam smiled. "You can't help me or them now, Sirius." He shook his head. "You can't help us, Sirius." He had a pained look on his face. "You need to get out of here before it's too late."

He shook his head. "I'm not leaving without you, Sammy. I can't leave you here like this."

Her smile grew. "We are supposed to stay here. You aren't." He stared at her. "You have to go on and save the real Sam. She needs you." He let out a shaky breath. "We belong here. You don't."

He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Please, Sammy, let me help you."

She smiled. It was killing him to see her engulfed in flames and smiling. He didn't understand it. He didn't understand any of it. "There's nothing you can do, Sirius." She turned her head and watched as the floor crumbled underneath the Sams. They screamed as they fell down into the depths. Sirius ducked when there was an explosion. "Sirius, you have to go." He shook his head. Sam sighed. "You have to leave! The building is crumbling! If you don't leave now, you never will!" He looked unsure. "Sirius, you need to go. You have to slay the dragon and rescue the princess so the two of you can live happily ever after." He smiled. "Go save her…and yourself." HHjhe He nodded. She smiled. "Don't worry. She will forgive you, Sirius."

He smiled. "Thank you, Sammy." She smiled. He ran into the darkness. He slowed his steps when he ran into a thick white hazy fog. He took slow steps as the fog started to clear up a bit. He stopped short. He saw Sam in a sleeveless white wedding gown standing in front of a floor length mirror. His breath caught in his throat. She looked so beautiful. His smile grew when she started to spin around in front of the mirror. "Sammy?" He saw her smile when she heard his voice. "Is that you?"

Sam turned around and her smile grew. "Sirius?" He stared at her closely before hugging her tightly. "You're finally here!"

Sirius couldn't believe his eyes. She was actually standing in front of him. "I-Is it really you?" He whispered.

She laughed lightly and touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "It's really me, Baby."

He held onto her like he never wanted to let her go and started to cry. "I-I've missed you so much, Sammy! Nothing's been right since you went away."

She bit her lip and smiled. "I didn't go away, Baby. I never left you. I was always with you." She put her hand over his heart. "Right here." She smiled gently at him. "Do you remember what I told you?"

Sirius placed his hand on top of hers and nodded. "The ones we love never truly leave us. They are always in our hearts."

Sam nodded. She kissed him and sighed happily when he rested his forehead on hers. "That's right, Baby. So, you see, I never really went away. I never left you."

He traced her face lightly with his finger tips and smiled slowly. He didn't understand what was going on. He had no idea why he was feeling like he hadn't seen or touched her in years. It was confusing to him but it also seemed to make a weird sort of sense. "You look so beautiful. You look exactly the same."

She looked at him closely and started to giggle. "Sirius, you look so…old!" He let out a barking laugh. He glanced in the mirror. He did look old, which was weird since he was seventeen, but it seemed to make sense. It was like he was experiencing someone else's moment. She touched his face slowly. He closed his eyes and smiled in content. "You have little wrinkles around your eyes and…is that a gray streak?" Sirius smiled slowly and nodded. Sam bit her lip and let out a small laugh. "How'd you get to be so old?"

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He kissed her as he picked her up and spun her around. She squeaked out a gasp of glee and held him tightly as she took in his scent. "I've missed you so damn much! Never leave me again, Sammy!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Sirius! You're stuck with me forever!"

"I was never stuck with you. I've only ever wanted to be with you. You mean everything to me. I've missed you, Sammy."

Sam smiled slowly. "I've missed you too. Now, we can always be together!" Sirius smiled brightly. "I love you, Sirius."

He kissed her deeply. "I love you too, Sammy." He looked into her eyes and kissed her once again. "There's so much I have to tell you. There's so much you have to know."

Sam put her fingers to his lips and smiled when he kissed them. "It doesn't matter, Sirius. All that matters is that we are together again."

Sirius traced her lips with his fingers. It felt like he was trying to memorize her face. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry for the mistakes that I've made when it came to you. All I've ever wanted to do was be with you and now, I am. You mean everything to me."

She had tears in her eyes and held him closely. He played with her hair and kissed her neck lightly. "You really mean that, don't you, Sirius?" He nodded. "I love you so much! I've missed you! You've been away from me for far too long!"

He held her to him tightly. An anxious feeling came over him. He had a feeling if he let her go, he'd lose her. "I am here with you now, Sammy. That's all that matters to me."

Sam closed her eyes and sighed happily when he, once again, rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and sighed in content. "I love you forever, Sirius!"

He smiled. "I love you forever, Sammy." He opened his eyes. She was gone. He turned his head but he couldn't see anything. "Sammy?"

"Samantha."

Sirius stiffened when he heard the unfamiliar voice hiss her name. The fog started to clear. His eyes widened. An odd looking pale bald man was standing in front of Sam. She tried to run but the man wrapped his bony fingers around her neck and gripped it tightly. Sirius tried to run to her but he couldn't move. His wrists and ankles had chains around them and they were attached to the floor. He watched in horror as the pale man, who resembled a snake, in purple robes lifted Sam off of the ground by her neck and brought her closer to his face. He saw her shake in fear as she looked into his eyes. His reptilian nostrils flared as a cold smile appeared on his face. Sam dug her nails into his arms and tried to claw herself free. "SAMMY!" Sirius yelled.

"It's your fault that they're dead." He hissed. She let out a pathetic whimper and fought harder to break free. "It's your fault that they're dead, Samantha."

He struggled against the chains. "Let her go! You sick son of a bitch! Let her go!"

He turned his head and smirked. Sirius gasped when he saw his red eyes. "Ah, Sirius." He hissed. Sirius had trouble breathing. His grip on Sam's throat tightened. He shook her. Sam gasped as her eyes rolled back into her head. He smirked. "You could have saved her, Sirius." Sirius fought against the chains and groaned. "I wonder how much it will hurt you when I kill your little wife."

He howled with rage. "_LET HER GO!_"

He laughed. "Do you think you can take me, boy?" Sirius growled. "You can't even save your own wife!"

"_I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU HURT HER, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!_"

He smirked. "You could have saved your wife, Sirius." He set Sam down and turned her so she was facing Sirius. He put his hands back around her neck. Sam stared at Sirius with wide eyes. She tried to call out to Sirius but he grasped her neck tightly. He smirked. "You could have saved her, Sirius, but you won't." Sirius grunted. "Now, you will watch as your wife dies."

Sirius screamed. "_NO! TAKE ME INSTEAD!_"

He laughed lightly. "Why would I kill you when it will be more fun for me watching you watching her die?" Sirius' heart pounded against his chest. "Can you bear the guilt, Sirius? Can you live with yourself knowing that you did nothing but watch as I murder your beloved wife?"

Sirius sneered. "Let me go! You won't kill her if I'm free!"

His head cocked to the side as he smirked. "But you are free, Sirius." Sirius looked down. The chains were gone. Sirius looked at him. "You still won't save her." Sirius ran at him. He laughed. He held Sam close to him before snapping her neck. Sirius gasped in pain when he heard her neck break. He dropped her. Sam's body fell to the ground. Her eyes stared up at Sirius. He laughed. "You could have saved her, Sirius."

Sirius fell to his knees and crawled to her. "Sammy…" He croaked out. He cradled her body in his arms. He checked for a pulse. There was none. Her lifeless eyes stared at him. He couldn't breathe. His wife, his Sammy, was dead. His body started to shake. "Sammy, no, please, don't be dead." He whispered. Sirius' eyes narrowed when he heard the man laughing. "You didn't have to kill her! She did nothing to deserve this! She did nothing to you!"

He shrugged. "She existed. That was reason enough." Sirius howled with rage. "You are forgetting the most important thing, Sirius."

"What is that?" He grunted.

He smirked as his image started to fade. "You could have saved her."

Sirius let out a deep howl. "Don't you dare leave!" He was gone. "Come back here! You have to kill me too!" He looked down at Sam and tightened his hold on her. "You have to kill me too!" He sputtered. "I can't live without her! You have to kill me too!" He cried into her neck. "Sammy, don't be dead! You can't be dead! I can't be without you!" He became hysterical. "I refuse to let you be dead!" He had trouble breathing. "Sammy, don't leave me! You can't leave me!"

"Sirius, you need to let her go."

He looked up and saw Kathleen. "I-I can't." His chin trembled. "Bring her back." She sighed. "C-Can you bring her back?"

Kathleen shook her head and sighed. "No, I can't."

He glared at her. "You're lying! You can bring her back!" She shook her head. "You have to! She can't be dead! You have to bring her back!"

She stared at him. "Sirius-"

He was breathing heavily. "Y-You have to! I-I can't…I can't live without her!"

"Yes, you can!"

He growled. "Well, I don't want to!" He let out a deep howl filled with rage and pain. Kathleen sighed. "I need her to come back! Bring her back to me!"

"Sirius?"

He froze. He let out a shaky breath before looking up. He gasped when he saw her smiling at him. He stared at her in confusion. "S-Sammy?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "It's me, Sirius."

He blinked. She was dressed the same way as she was on their first date. Even her hair and earrings were the same. "H-How is this possible?"

Her smile grew. "Come here, Sirius."

Sirius' chin trembled. "But you're dead." She shook her head. He looked down. The Sam he was holding disappeared. "I-I don't understand."

Sam sighed. "Don't worry, Sirius. Everything will be ok now." He looked at her. "Come here, Sirius."

He stood up on shaky legs and stumbled towards her. He collapsed against her. She held him up. "Sammy…" He whispered. She kissed his temple. He cried into her neck. "I can't take anymore of this, Sammy." She sighed. "I-I keep seeing you die…and I can't take it anymore."

She stroked his hair. "I know, Sirius." He looked at her. "It's going to be ok now, Baby. You won't see that anymore." His chin trembled as he nodded. She caressed his cheek. "Sirius, everything will be ok now."

He held her face in his hands. His body started to shake. "I-I can't…you can't die, Sammy." He rested his forehead against hers. "I need you, Sammy."

She bit her lip. "I need you too, Sirius." He stared at her. She smiled. "I need you too."

He kissed her. "I love you so much, Sammy." She kissed him. He had a small smile on his face. "I love you forever, Sammy."

Her smile grew. "I love you forever, Sirius." The music from their first date started to play. She looked at him as he let out a shaky laugh. "Will you dance with me?"

He caressed her cheek and smiled. "Yes, I will." He held her close to him as they swayed to the music. He turned his head and took in her scent. He closed his eyes as he rested his temple against hers. She smiled before she kissed him. He deepened their kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. He smiled. "This feels good." Her smile grew. "Being with you like this feels good."

She caressed his cheek. "Yes, it does."

He stared at her. "Never leave me, Sammy."

She smiled. "Never leave me, Sirius."

He kissed her. "Never." He whispered.

"Sirius?"

He glanced at Kathleen. "What?"

Kathleen sighed. "Have you made your choice?"

He looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"_Sirius! It's me! It's Sammy!_"

He blinked when he heard Sam's voice. "What is going on?"

Kathleen stared at him. "You have to make a choice now, Sirius." He blinked. "What is your choice?"

He shook his head. "I-I don't understand."

"_Come back to me, Sirius. I need you to come back to me._"

Sirius looked at Sam. "What is going on, Sammy?"

Sam sighed. "You have to make a choice."

He let out a shaky breath. "Are you the real Sam?"

Kathleen smiled. "You know the answer to that."

He sighed. "Tell me what to do, Sammy."

She smiled. "If you choose me, you won't have to worry about not touching me. We can be together without limits. There will be no fear or insecurity. It will just be us. Nothing will get between us."

"_Don't leave me, Sirius. I need you._"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "What do I do?"

Kathleen looked at him. "Sirius, if you choose this Sam, it will be just like she said. There will be no limitations, fears, or insecurities between the two of you." He nodded slowly. "If you choose the real Sam, you will still have to face the hurdles that you had before you were attacked and more."

He looked between them. "If I choose this Sam, does that mean I have to die to be with her?" They nodded. He sighed. "I see."

Sam smiled. "Sirius, don't you want to be with me without limitations?"

Sirius sighed again. "I-I do…" She smiled. "But…"

"_Please…come back to me, Sirius._"

He smiled. "I…I choose the real Sam." Kathleen smiled. "I know it will be hard for us but it will be worth it in the end." Sam nodded. "Yes, it would be great to be with you without limitations but I don't want a dream. I want the real thing. I want the real Sam. I know it will be hard but I honestly don't care. I made a lot of mistakes with Sammy and I want to earn my right to be with her. It will take a while but I will get my reward. Sammy is my reward."

Kathleen smiled. "Good answer, Sirius." He smiled. "Tell Sammy I said 'hello'." His smile grew as he nodded. "Good luck."

* * *

Sam pulled away and blinked. Sirius opened his eyes and saw Sam staring at him in surprise. "Sirius?" He kept staring at her. She smiled as she caressed his cheek. "You came back to me." She whispered. "You came back to me, Sirius."

Sirius gave her a tired smile. It felt so good to be near her. It felt so good to see the real her. "I'll…I'll always come back to you, Sammy." He started to feel drained. The journey he took in his mind tired him out. He closed his eyes and sighed in content. "Always." He whispered before falling asleep.


	90. Chapter 87: Bedside Manner

Chapter 87: Bedside Manner.

* * *

Sam sat by his bedside in the darkened room and sighed. Sirius was resting soundly. Once he woke up from his screaming fit and fell back asleep, he didn't make a single noise except for the occasional snore. She refused to leave his side after he calmed down. She was convinced if she left, he would start screaming again.

She sighed as her chin trembled. "You really scared me, Sirius." She whispered. "I thought…I thought I was going to lose you." Tears escaped from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. "I-I know I could live without you but…I don't want to." She cried into her hands. "I was so scared you were going to leave me before…before I could tell you that I don't want our marriage to be over. I want it to continue. You were fighting so hard for us to stay together but you don't have to worry. I don't want out anymore. I want to stay. I want to stay with you forever." She smiled. "I heart you forever, Sirius Black." He shifted in his sleep. "I am so proud to be your wife and I can't wait to tell you that. I can't wait to tell you that I'm so proud to be Mrs. Sirius Black and I always will be." She held his bandaged hand in hers and smiled. "Did you hear about James and Lily? They are engaged. Can you believe it?" She let out a tiny laugh. "This time last year, she hated him and now, they are engaged! Isn't that great news?"

She bit her lip. "They want to get married in the summer just before I have to go back to school." She had a small smile on her face. "You know James will want you to be his best man and I think Lily will ask me to be her matron of honor so…" She let out a shaky breath. "So, you have to get better. James needs you to be there by his side on his special day just like Lily will need me. I need you there too." She pushed her hair back and stared at him. "I hope the bride's maids dressed aren't ugly. Lily has great taste normally but once a girl gets engaged, her fashion sense goes out the window." She let out a tiny laugh. "At least in some instances." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm trying to think of what else to say. I think…I think if I keep talking that it will somehow help you and you will wake up and be better. Even if you wake up just to tell me to stop yammering on and on so you can get some sleep, it will be ok." She stroked his hand gently. Her chin trembled. "Sirius, please, you have to be ok. I need you to be ok. We all do." She started to cry. "I-I know I've been pushing you away and I'm sorry for that. I…I don't want to push you away anymore." She kissed the back of his hand. "I heart you. I heart you so much, Sirius, and I can't wait to tell you that. I won't stop telling you how much I care for you once you wake up. Please, wake up so I can tell you that and so we can start our lives together…for real this time."

She stroked his hair and smiled. "I think…I know we can be really happy now, Sirius. We know what we want and we are determined to stay together. We can really make it work and be happy." She kissed his forehead gently. "I know it will be hard especially with my celibacy vow but we can work it out. I think our celibacy will make us stronger in the end. It will make us appreciate each other more." She smiled at his sleeping form. "I know you will disagree with me about that." She sighed. "I was hoping that that would make you wake up so we could argue about it." She bit her lip. "I know you need to rest but could you wake up for just a moment to let me know you'll be ok?" She let out a shaky breath. "All you have to do is open your eyes for a moment. You can even just give me a little smile with your eyes still closed and that will be enough for me." Sirius shifted in his sleep and let out a light snore. She smiled. "I'll take what I can get." She kissed his forehead again. "I heart you, Sirius." He snored again. She let out a tiny laugh. "Thank you for that."

"Sam?"

Sam wiped her eyes and turned her head. She saw Lily standing by the door holding a bag. She smiled. "Lily, what are you still doing here? I thought everyone left."

Lily walked over and set the bag down on the floor by the foot of the bed. "I did leave with the others but Dumbledore asked me to come back." Sam nodded slowly. "He asked me to pack some clothes for you and to bring you your books." She smiled. "James got some of Sirius' things together as well."

She smiled. "Thank you, Lily." She smiled in response. "Thank James for us."

She nodded. "I will." She pulled a chair over next to Sam's chair and sat down. Sam stared at her in confusion. "What is it?"

She blinked. "Why are you sitting? Are you staying?" Lily's eyebrow rose. She let out a tiny laugh. "I didn't mean it like that." Lily nodded. "I just thought that you would have to go right back to school."

She smiled and shrugged. "I should but Dumbledore will understand if I'm late. He will expect that we will need some time together." Sam smiled. "I brought your pajamas. If you want to get out of that dress and change, I will look after Sirius."

She shook her head. "I can't leave him."

She sighed. "Sammy, it will only take you a few minutes to change. You can leave him in my care for that long."

She gulped. "I almost lost him tonight, Lily. I feel like if I leave him, I'll lose him."

She smiled. "Sammy, you won't lose him especially if you leave him in my care while you change." Sam looked unsure. "You'll be more comfortable if you change. If you are comfortable, you will be able to take better care of Sirius."

She laughed lightly. "Ok, you've convinced me, Lily. I'll be right back."

Lily nodded. "I'll be here." Sam took the bag and went into the bathroom. Lily sighed. Sirius stirred. She stared at him. "Sirius?" He sighed. "Just rest, Sirius. Sam will be back in a moment. Everything will be alright." Lily stroked his bandaged hand gently. "I hope you will be alright. I don't think Sammy could take it if she lost you." She sighed. "We all love you, Sirius. I hope you know that and I hope you get better. I also hope we find out who did this to you so we can make them pay."

Sam walked out of the bathroom and over to his bed. "How is he?" Lily shrugged. She sighed. "I was hoping he woke up." Lily smiled sadly. "But I would have felt bad if he woke up and I wasn't there for it."

She smiled. "Sammy, he needs to rest. After Sirius rests, he will wake up and you'll be there."

She nodded. "I know." She sighed. "I just…I just want him to wake up for a minute to let me know he's ok." Lily nodded. "I'm worried about him. I'm allowed to worry about him."

She laughed lightly. "I know you are. We are all worried about him." Sam nodded. "I just don't want you to worry yourself sick over him because that won't help anything. If you are worrying, he will worry about you and it will become an endless cycle of worry."

She smiled and nodded. "You're right. I know you're right."

She looked at her. "How'd things go with your father?" Sam rolled her eyes and shrugged. "How did you get that bruise on your cheek?"

She sighed. "It doesn't matter." She muttered.

She sighed. "Did your father do that to you, Sammy?" She shrugged in response. "Why did he hit you, Sam?"

She bit her lip. "We got into a fight." Lily nodded slowly. "He kept asking me such stupid questions and saying stupid things. He thought I married Sirius because I was curious about sex." Lily snorted. "I know!" Lily nodded. "He just kept pushing me and I snapped. I told him the truth. I even told him about my pregnancy scare." Lily choked. "He got pissed. He called me a slut and hit me." Lily's eyes widened. "James…he tried to protect me. He fought with Harold and so did Mama."

She blinked. "I'm sorry, Sammy." She shrugged in response. "He had no right to do that."

She sighed. "I didn't have to tell him everything. I chose to do it because he made me so mad and I wanted to hurt him. I knew if he knew the truth, he'd lose it and he did."

She shook her head. "But that doesn't excuse what he did!"

She shrugged. "It happened. I can't change what happened."

Her head cocked to the side. "It seems like you are excusing what he did. Why are you doing that?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not excusing what he did. I explained to you what happened and why. He hit me more than once and I pushed him over the edge by telling him everything. He started it. I'm not making excuses. I'm just stating the facts."

She sighed. "I know. I just wish the two of you would make up."

She smiled as she stroked Sirius' hair. "Sirius wants the same thing."

Lily smiled. "So, why not try talking to your Dad for Sirius?" Sam shook her head. "I know what he did was horrible and he had no right to do it but…the two of you used to be so close. Wouldn't it be worth it to try and fix things?" Sam sighed. "Do you miss him, Sammy?"

Sam looked at her. "At times, I do. When I'm upset, my first instinct is to run and tell him my problems so he can try to make me feel better like he used to." Lily smiled. "But he chose a side when he didn't have to. He chose a side that wasn't mine and then, he crapped on the close relationship we once had." Lily sighed. "I know the part I played in our estrangement. I know I'm at fault too. I don't and won't deny it." Lily nodded. "I'm…he gave up on me, Lily. I needed him. I was going through one of the worst times in my life and needed him but he gave up on me. I'm still too angry and so is he. It is too soon for any type of reconciliation between the two of us."

She nodded slowly. "I understand, Sam." Sam smiled. "I just hope that you don't wait too long. You might wake up one day and realize it is too late."

She shrugged. "If that happens, it will be my burden to bear."

She blinked. "I see." She sighed. "How'd your session with Andrew go?"

She sighed. "It was alright." Lily stared at her. She sighed again before telling her all about it. "That's all that happened." Lily nodded. "During the session, I realized something."

She stared at her. "What did you realize?"

She kissed Sirius' forehead and smiled at him. "I realized that I want to stay married to Sirius. I want to save my marriage."

She smiled. "That's great, Sammy. I know Sirius will be thrilled when you tell him."

She nodded. "Yes, he will be." She sighed. "Lily?" She looked at her. "Should I have cancelled my session and stayed with Sirius?"

She looked confused. "Why are you asking me that?"

She bit her lip. "If I would have stayed with him, he wouldn't have been attacked."

She shook her head. "You can't think that, Sammy. This wasn't your fault." Sam sighed. "Sirius should have stayed put. The person who did this shouldn't have done this. It wasn't your fault."

She sighed. "I just hate seeing him like this."

She smiled. "I know you do, Sammy. No one wants to see him like this but he will be ok."

She smiled. "I know."

Lily stood up and hugged her. "I swear to you, Sammy, Sirius will be fine and you will be able to tell him the good news so the two of you can live happily ever after." Sam let out a shaky laugh and nodded. "It's going to be ok."

Sam's chin trembled as she nodded. "I know that in my heart but could you keep telling me that?" Lily rubbed her back and nodded. She started to cry. "I've been pushing him away and…all I want is for him to wake up and get better."

She kissed her cheek. "He will."

She looked at her. "Why did I keep pushing him away?"

She gave her a look. "His jealousy almost got you killed! That's why!"

She sighed. "I know what he did, Lily." She nodded slowly. "But why did I push him away when we were friends and when we went out?"

She shrugged. "Because whatever you told him would have set him off in some way and he'd try to lock you away in your dorm until you were too old to move."

She let out a tiny laugh. "That's true." Lily smiled. "But…Sirius…he thinks I…"

She stared at her. "What is it?"

She bit her lip. "He understood why I tell you everything. You're my best friend." Lily nodded slowly. "I also would talk to Remus and Michael. Sirius…he didn't understand why I went to them and not him. He still doesn't understand. I think he feels like he comes in second with me when it comes to them." Lily blinked. "A part of him understands why I went to Remus…but when it comes to Michael, he loses it."

She nodded. "He hates Michael."

She sighed. "I know and Michael hates him." Lily nodded eagerly. "But I just don't understand why. They are both important to me in different ways. Michael is one of my closest friends and Sirius is my husband…and my soul mate. I don't understand why they hate each other or why Sirius feels second best."

She smiled. "Sammy, they are both in love with you."

She shook her head. Sirius stirred. They stared at him. They went to the other side of the room to talk. They sat down on the floor. "Michael does care for me but its not lo…it's not _that_. He has a crush."

Lily's smile grew. "He's in love with you and that's why Sirius hates him." Sam sighed. "Sirius has been in love with you since the day you met. He…_tolerated_ your relationship with Remus because he hoped it wouldn't last. He knows you and Remus still care for each other and are friends but the two of you have moved on." Sam nodded slowly. "He understands the close bond you share with Remus but Michael is a different story. He knows you only dated Michael as a rebound but Michael is still in love with you and Sirius is threatened by that."

Sam rubbed her eyes. "But I don't understand why. I married Sirius and want to stay married to him."

She sighed. "But Sirius doesn't know that yet." Sam nodded. "You were attacked and so was Michael as he was trying to save you. The two of you have a bond because of that."

She scoffed. "That's a wonderful reason to be jealous of someone!" Lily shrugged. "Does Sirius want to get me attacked again so he can try and save me so he can get attacked too and then, we will have that bond?"

She shook her head. "You know he doesn't want that." Sam sighed and nodded. "Sirius regrets you being attacked more than anything. If he could take it back, he would."

She sighed. "I know that."

She held her hand. "Just tell Sirius you want to stay married. Tell him you only want him but you also want to remain being friends with Michael. Make it clear you just want friendship with Michael and it should be fine."

She gave her a look. "You have met Sirius before, right?"

She laughed lightly. "Ok, he will still be upset but if you explain it carefully to him, he will eventually understand."

She nodded slowly. "I will try to explain it to him…and hopefully, it will work." Lily smiled. She sighed. "I don't want to lose him, Lily."

She smiled. "You won't."

She looked at her. "I'm glad we're still best friends."

Her smile grew. "I am too." They hugged. "We'll always be best friends, Sammy. No matter what happens or whatever fights we get in to, we will always be best friends."

She smiled. "I know. I just needed to hear it. Thank you, Lily."

She smiled. "Anytime, Sammy."

* * *

_They had been back at school for two months and everything seemed to be going good. Sirius was grateful that Sam came back to him instead of going back to St. Mungo's. She had moments of being cold and distant with him but she would eventually go back to being her usual self. He thought she would kill him when Sarah informed her that they never broke up but Sam surprised him by forgiving him. He made sure Sam knew that he didn't want Sarah and he was committed to their marriage. They made sure they spent time together. They talked with each other. Sam made her feelings about his part in the attack known. Sirius did everything in his power to get her to forgive him. He did his best to be there for her and to comfort her when she got upset over seeing Severus. He was trying to do things right for once. He tried to make her feel special. He didn't want to give her another excuse to leave him. Sam was still affectionate with him but he would have to practically beg her to sleep with him. She had moments of not wanting to be with him but he would do or say something sweet and she would change her mind. They enjoyed having their own room. Dumbledore informed them of their new room once they returned. They liked having the privacy most couples had after first getting married. Despite the moments of being cold and distant that Sam had, Sirius was pleased with how things were going between them. That's why he was so confused._

_For the past week, Sirius would wake up and see Sam sitting in the corner rocking back and forth while muttering to herself. He would get out of bed to see what was wrong. She would become hysterical and he would have to calm her down. Eventually, she would get calm and he would put her to bed. He would stay up a little longer after she fell asleep to make sure she was alright._

_He didn't understand what was going on with her. He asked her friends but they had no idea. He asked his friends but they were just as clueless. After each night it happened, he grew more concerned. He didn't know what to do to help her or where to go. She stopped eating. She had trouble going to sleep. She was becoming silent and moody._

_Sirius took a deep breath before walking into their room after hanging out with his friends. He didn't know what mood Sam would be in. He opened the door and peaked his head in. The windows were wide open. Cold gusts of wind were billowing into the room. Sam was in the corner rocking back and forth muttering to herself. He sighed as he closed the door behind him. He crouched down in front of her. "Sammy?"_

_Sam ran her hands through her hair and shook her head. "I tried! I really tried but it's hard! They say I didn't but I did! It won't stop! I try to make it stop but it won't stop!" He closed his eyes and sighed. "He's coming! They say he's coming! I can hear him coming! He won't stop! Why won't he stop?"_

_He rubbed his eyes. "Sammy, you have to calm down. Everything is alright."_

_She whimpered. "I hear them all the time! They won't stop talking! I beg them to stop but they won't! They won't let me rest! I just want to rest!"_

_He nodded slowly. "You can rest if you want to, Sammy." He sighed. "Just tell them to shut up and you can rest."_

_Her fingers traced the wall. "They tell me to do things! I don't want to do them! I can't! I can't!"_

_His eyebrows furrowed together. "What are they telling you to do?"_

_She let out a tiny groan. "I can't do that!" He touched her arm. She shrieked. His eyes widened as he pulled his hand away. "Don't do that!"_

_He gulped. "I-I'm sorry! I won't touch you!"_

_She groaned. "I don't want to! I don't want to! Don't make me do it!" She started to cry. "It hurts! Make it stop!" She shook her head. "No, I can't!"_

_He stared at her. "Sammy, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." She started to slam her head against the wall. He gasped before grabbing her. He held her to him. "Don't do that!"_

_She fought against him. "NO! NO! DON'T!" He wouldn't let go of her. She screamed. "LET ME GO! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!"_

_He held her face in his hands. "What hurts, Sammy? Tell me where it hurts!"_

_She slapped him. "You can't! Why did you do it? You can't!"_

_He blinked. "What are you talking about?"_

_She grabbed the front of his shirt. "NO MORE! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"_

_He had a pained look on his face. "What can't you take? Just tell me, Sammy. I can help. I can make it better."_

_She pushed him away and stood up. She started to pace. He watched her. "They tell me what to do to make it stop but I can't do it! I hear them all the time! They won't leave me alone! I just want them to leave me alone!"_

_He stood up. "What do they tell you to do?"_

_She punched the wall. He jumped. "They tell me what to do but its wrong!" She grabbed a pair of scissors. She turned and faced him. He gulped. "Why did you do it? Why are you here?" His eyes widened. He never saw her like this before. "I have to do it! I have to or they won't stop!"_

_He pulled the scissors out of her hands when she tried to cut herself. "NO!"_

_She screamed and hit him in the chest. "LET ME DO IT!"_

_He gritted his teeth. "NO, I WON'T! YOU CAN'T!"_

_She fought against him and screamed. "I HAVE TO! LET ME! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"_

_He started to shake her. "Sammy, you need to calm down!"_

_She tried to bite him. "LET ME GO! I HAVE TO! THEY TOLD ME TO!" He held her at arms length when she tried to bite him again. "I CAN'T! I CAN'T BUT IT HURTS!"_

_He let out a shaky breath. "Sammy, you need to calm down. Please, calm down."_

_She slumped against him. He held her up. She cried. "I don't want to do it. Please, don't make me. I don't want to."_

_He eased her down onto the bed. "I know, Baby." He kissed her forehead. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Everything will be alright."_

_She leaned against the headboard. "They won't stop. Make them stop."_

_Sirius nodded slowly. "I'll try, Sammy." He sighed and picked up the scissors. "Stay where you are and I'll be right back. Everything will be alright. Just stay right there." He watched her as he went towards the door. He went to the common room and walked over to James. "I need your help." James looked up at him. "I need you to get McGonagall and Dumbledore."_

_James stared at him in confusion. "Why? What's wrong?" He saw the scissors in his hand. "Why do you have those?"_

_He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I found Sam talking to herself again." James sighed. "But its worse this time. She hit me and tried to bite me." James' eyes widened. "She also tried to cut herself with these scissors." James gasped. "So, I need you to get McGonagall and Dumbledore right now. They'll know how to help her better than I will."_

_He nodded quickly. "I'm already gone."_

_He sighed as he went back to the room. His eyes widened when he heard glass breaking. He flew into the room. The mirror that was over the dresser was broken. Sam had thrown a hairbrush at it. She had a jagged piece of mirror in her hands. She held it to her wrist. "SAMMY, NO, PUT THAT DOWN NOW!"_

_Sam stared at him. "THEY ARE COMING! THEY SAY THEY'LL HELP BUT THEY WON'T!" He took a step closer to her. She screamed. "THEY COME ONE BY ONE! FACES HIDDEN BY MASKS OF LIES!"_

_Sirius blinked. "What are you talking about? Who are they and what masks are they wearing?" She grunted. He took a step closer. She pointed the piece of mirror at him. He froze. "Sammy, are…are you hearing voices?" She growled. He took a deep breath. "What are the voices telling you to do, Sammy?" She lunged at him. He held up his hands. "Are they telling you to hurt yourself? Are they telling you to hurt others?"_

_She whimpered. "THEY COME ONE BY ONE AND MORE RISE! THEY SAY THEY WILL MAKE IT BETTER! THEY SAY WE WILL BE ONE AND UNITED! THEIR TRUTHS ARE WRAPPED IN DECEPTION AND LIES! ONE TO RULE US ALL BUT HE WILL MAKE US CRAWL AND BEG! HE WILL RULE US AND CRUSH US ALL!"_

_His eyes widened. "W-What?"_

_She shook her head aggressively. "SNAKES AND EYES OF RED FIRE STARE INTO YOUR SOUL AND READ YOUR THOUGHTS! FLAMES OF RAGE BURN YOUR INSIDES!"_

_He took a deep breath. "Sammy, you need to put that down and talk to me." She growled. "Do you want the voices to stop?" She nodded. "Put the mirror down and I'll help you stop the voices." She stared at him. "It's ok, Sammy. You know you can trust me. I won't hurt you. I just want to help make the voices stop." She eyed him closely as she threw the piece of mirror to the ground. He took slow steps as he went to get the piece of mirror and move it away from her. He picked it up and put it down behind him. "What are the voices telling you?"_

_She faced the wall. She sunk down to the floor and her fingers traced the wall. "He reads thoughts and he will make us crawl."_

_He crouched down. "Who can read thoughts and make us crawl?"_

_She whimpered. "I tried. I tried to help but the voices drown it out. I tell them what they need to know but still they follow me." He sighed. "A green boy fights for us. Fights to protect us but loses too much. A boy of green sees into red fire eyes and knows their thoughts."_

_He shook his head slowly. "I don't know what you mean by that, Sammy."_

"_What is going on here?"_

_Sam started to shake. "MASKS OF LIES! THEY HIDE THE TRUTH!"_

_Sirius groaned as he looked at McGonagall and Dumbledore. "Sammy is having a bad night." They nodded slowly. "For the past week, I found Sam talking to herself and it would take a while to calm her down but she would. This is the worst it has been. She broke the mirror. She tried to cut herself with a piece of glass and a pair of scissors. She lunged at me with the piece of glass; she hit me, and has tried to bite me. I don't know what to do." They nodded. "She is also hearing voices."_

_McGonagall stared at Sam closely. "Mrs. Black, can you hear me?" Sam looked at her. "Can you tell us what the voices are saying to you?"_

_Sam groaned. "THEY COME ONE BY ONE AND MORE RISE! THEY SAY THEY WILL HELP! THEY SAY THEY WILL MAKE IT BETTER! FACES HIDDEN BY MASKS OF LIES!"_

_Dumbledore watched her. "She is having a vision."_

_Sirius looked at him oddly. "How can she be having a vision? She only gets them when she sleeps. She's awake."_

_He sighed. "When a seer like Samantha is having a psychotic episode like this, she has continuous visions."_

_He took a deep breath. "Will she be alright?"_

_He shook his head. "There is no way to be certain." Sirius gulped. He stared at her. "Samantha, what are you seeing?"_

_She clung to the wall. "The figures come cloaked in night. Screams follow. The night lit by fire. Snake eyes of red fire stare into our souls and read our thoughts. The eyes of red fire burn our insides. They consume us. There is no escape."_

_She looked at him. "Albus, what does she mean?"_

_He rubbed his eyes. "I believe she is seeing a Death Eater attack." They gasped. "Samantha, can you tell us anything else?"_

_She crawled to the open window and gasped. "They say they will unite us as one but it is all deception and lies." Dumbledore nodded slowly. "One to rule us all. He promises unity. He promises us power but he has the power. He makes us crawl and beg."_

_He nodded. "Voldemort."_

_She screamed. "THE NAME BURNS FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF THE INNOCENT! THE INNOCENT BECOME THE WALKING DEAD AND DAMNED!" Dumbledore watched her. "FEAR THE NAME AND THE NAME BECOMES POWERFUL!" He nodded slowly. She turned to look at him. "THEY STALK US WITH THEIR LIES AND DECEPTIONS! THEY WILL MAKE US CRAWL AND BEG!"_

_McGonagall sighed. "Is she still talking about You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters?"_

_Dumbledore nodded. "I believe so."_

_Sirius sighed. "This is my fault, isn't it?" They looked at him. "She wanted to go back to St. Mungo's but I convinced her to stay with me."_

_He smiled. "This is not your fault, Sirius."_

_His shoulders slumped. "It feels like it's my fault."_

_She smiled. "Sirius, you had no way of knowing this would happen to her. This is not your fault."_

_Sam turned her head to look at Dumbledore. "He fears one." Dumbledore nodded. "Your corpse will be his trophy." They gasped. Dumbledore smiled. Sam crawled to him. She grabbed the front of his robes. "The one he should fear arrives soon. The real one to bring him to his knees and make him beg is on the way." Dumbledore eyed her closely. "He fears you." Dumbledore nodded. "You know his secrets. You know the thing that shames him and he hates you for knowing. He despises you." Dumbledore nodded slowly. She held his face in her hands. "A wise man with winter eyes and a heart of gold." Dumbledore smiled. "A heart of gold drowning in guilt and regret." Dumbledore blinked. She caressed his cheek. "A moment…a collection of moments that haunts the wise man's mind." He gulped. "Forever searching for an answer to his unasked question. The answer will set him free but never wash away the guilt." He had tears in his eyes. "He seeks redemption for that one moment but knows he will never get it." They stared at them in confusion. "Years of selfishness. Years of regret. Years of pain. Forgiveness…it will never come. Resentment is always present in the wise man's double." Dumbledore stared at her in surprise. Her head cocked to the side. "Why do you look so sad, Albus?" He blinked. "Don't be sad, Albus." She touched his cheek. A tear slid down his cheek. McGonagall and Sirius looked at them in surprise. "I'm safe, Albus. Don't cry."_

_Dumbledore touched her cheek with a shaky hand. "Ariana?" Sam smiled. "Are you-?"_

_She kissed his cheek. "I'm safe, Albus." She whispered. "I'm alright now." He nodded as he started to shake. "Don't be sad anymore."_

_He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I never meant for it to happen."_

_She smiled and kissed his cheek again. "I know, Albus." He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "All you need to know is that I'm safe." He nodded. She pulled back and gasped. "No! No!"_

_His eyes widened. "Ariana, what is it? What's wrong?"_

_McGonagall and Sirius ran to Sam as she thrashed around on the floor. "Albus, what is happening to her?"_

_Dumbledore shook his head to clear his thoughts. "The visions are becoming too much for her. She…she is…" He let out a shaky breath. "She is beginning to think that her visions are reality."_

_Sirius gulped. "How…how do we help her?" Dumbledore shook his head. "Is there anything we can do?" He shook his head again. "Sammy, talk to me! Please, say something!" Sam screamed. "Sammy, please, talk to me!"_

_Sam stopped screaming and sat up. She stared at them. They pulled back and gasped. Her brown eyes were red. She glared at Dumbledore. "You think you can defeat me, old man! You think you can win!" Dumbledore stared at her in surprise. "No one can defeat me! I am all powerful! I will make you bow before me and beg for your life!"_

_Dumbledore grabbed her. "Ariana, come back!"_

_She laughed. "You fool! Clinging to the past!" Dumbledore blinked. "How can someone as pathetic as you defeat me? I'm the greatest wizard of all time!"_

_Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!"_

_She smirked. "A simple minded boy defends you! Isn't that nice?" She stared at Sirius. "You couldn't even save your wife from my power!" Sirius paled. "You are all nothing compared to me!" Sam gasped. "No more! No more!"_

_Dumbledore shook her. "Samantha, speak to us!" Sam shook her head. He looked at them. "Her visions are becoming too much. She was having a vision about Voldemort and his…feelings for me took over her. It wasn't real but it felt real to her. It was as if she was channeling him. It wasn't real." Sirius gulped. McGonagall shook her head in confusion. "Samantha, can you hear me? It wasn't real! Talk to us! It wasn't real!"_

_He gulped. "It was like she was possessed."_

_He sighed. "She wasn't possessed, Sirius."_

_Sam held Dumbledore's face in her hands. "THEY COME ONE BY ONE! AN ARMY OF MASKS FILLED WITH LIES AND DECEPTION!" Dumbledore sighed and nodded. She let out a shaky breath. "A boy of green fights to protect us! He fights for us but loses too much! A boy of green stares into the eyes of red fire and sees their thoughts!"_

_He blinked. "What do you mean, Samantha?"_

_She whimpered. "A boy of green is our protector. He is our champion. He sees much pain and loses too much. He doesn't know all of what he lost until it is over. A boy of green is the one to bring the eyes of red fire to its knees." His eyes widened. She blinked. She caressed his cheek. "Curiosity is your downfall." His head cocked to the side. "An old passion resurfaces and causes the down fall of two trusted soldiers." He looked confused. "Curiosity appears and you can not resist. Curiosity is your downfall." She kissed his cheek. He stared at her. "Curiosity is your downfall."_

_Sirius knelt down next to them. "Sammy, can you hear me?" She looked at him. "Baby, can you understand me?"_

_Sam crawled onto his lap. He held her tightly. She cried into his neck. "Make it stop, Sirius. Make it stop." He had a pained look on his face. "I don't want to hear them anymore. I tell them what they need to know but they won't stop. Make it stop."_

_He closed his eyes and rubbed her back. "I'm trying, Sammy. I'm really trying." He kissed her temple. "Please, be ok. I love you, Sammy. I need you to be ok."_

_Her chin trembled. "I love you, Sirius." He smiled. McGonagall and Dumbledore sighed as they watched them. "I love you forever, Sirius. Don't let them get me."_

_He gulped as his eyes filled with tears. "I love you forever, Sammy. I'm trying to make them stop and leave you alone."_

_She stared at him. "Beware of curtains. They kill."_

_He blinked. "What?"_

_She caressed his cheek. "Beware of curtains. They kill."_

_He shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."_

_McGonagall sighed. "Sirius, we have to take her to St. Mungo's." He shook his head. "She needs help. We can't help her. They can."_

_Sirius' chin trembled as he held her to him. "No, I can't let you take her. I promised her." He cried into Sam's neck. "Before we got married, I promised her I wouldn't send her there. I promised her."_

_Dumbledore sighed. "She has to go, Sirius." He shook his head. "Samantha needs help that we can't give. She is a danger to herself and others."_

_He glared at them. "She is NOT a danger to anyone! She is not a danger to me! I love her! I can help her! I can save her!"_

_He stared at him. "I know you love her. Samantha knows you love her but she needs help, Sirius. Let them help her."_

_She looked at her husband closely. "Make them stop, Sirius."_

_He felt as if he had a boulder on his chest. He wanted to help but he didn't know how. He promised her he wouldn't send her away but he didn't see any other choice. "I'm trying, Sammy. I'm really trying to stop them, Sammy." She held onto him tightly. He looked at them. "I promised I wouldn't send her back there."_

_McGonagall stared at him. "You have to send her back, Sirius. Samantha needs to go back before she hurts herself or someone else."_

_His chin trembled. "But I promised her."_

_Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder. "We know you promised her but she needs help that we can't give her."_

_He let out a shaky breath. "Will they take care of her?" He nodded. "I need you to promise me that they will help her and she will get the best care."_

_He smiled. "You have my word, Sirius."_

_He nodded. "When does she have to go?"_

_She sighed. "Samantha must go at once." He closed his eyes and sighed. "She needs help as soon as possible and it is best she leaves right now."_

_He nodded quickly. "Alright." He whispered. He took a deep breath. "Sammy, can you look at me?" She lifted her head off of his shoulder and stared at him. He smiled. "You know that I love you, right?" She nodded and smiled. His chin trembled. "I love you so much, Sammy. All I want is for us to be together and I want to protect you."_

_She smiled. He caressed her cheek. "I know, Sirius." She kissed him. "I love you too. I just want to be with you and protect you too."_

_He held her face in his hands. "I just want the best for you." She smiled and nodded. Tears slipped down his cheek. "That's why you have to go back to St. Mungo's." Her eyes widened. "You need help, Sammy. You need help that I can't give you."_

_She shook her head. "No, I don't need to go back! You can help me!" His chin trembled. "Please, don't do this, Sirius! I'll be good! Don't send me away!"_

_He started to cry. "I'm not doing this to punish you, Sammy. They can help you. I can't. I don't know how to."_

_She cried. "No, please, don't make me go, Sirius!" She clung to him. "I don't want to leave you!"_

_He held her tightly. "I don't want you to go either but you have to."_

_She struggled against him. "No, I don't! You can't make me!" He stared at her. She glared at him. "You promised me!" She slapped him. "You promised you wouldn't send me back there!"_

_He sighed. "I know, Sammy. I know I did but you need help."_

_She became hysterical. She fought against him when he tightened his hold on her. "No, I don't! You can't make me!" He grabbed her arms when she tried to hit him again. She howled with pain. "No! Don't do this! Please, don't do this to me, Sirius!"_

_He had trouble breathing. "Sammy, I don't want you to go but you have to." She cried. "I'm sorry but this is the way it has to be." She shook her head. "Please, Sammy, you have to understand. You…you need help. You tried to hurt yourself and me." She looked confused. "You don't remember that, do you?" She bit her lip and shook her head. He sighed. "Sammy, you tried to bite me and you lunged at me with a piece of the mirror you broke."_

_Her chin trembled. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that." _

_He caressed her cheek. "I know you didn't, Baby." He kissed her. "Sammy, I just want you to be ok." She nodded. "I think it will be best if you go back there."_

_She shook her head. "Please, no, Sirius."_

_He sighed. "It won't be forever, Sammy. It will just be for a little while until you are better and then, you can come back."_

_She looked down at the ground. "But you promised me."_

_He gulped. "I know I did but I didn't know how…sick you are when I made that promise." She cried. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I just want you to get better and this is the only way."_

_She stared at him. "Don't you love me anymore?"_

_He nodded eagerly. "Of course I do. I love you more than anything."_

_She glared at him. "If you really loved me, you wouldn't send me away!"_

_He gave her a look. "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't send you away!" Her chin trembled. "Sammy, I just want you to get better. You have to believe that I love you and want the best for you."_

_She nodded. "I…don't want to leave you."_

_He smiled. "I don't want to leave you either but it won't be forever and I'll visit you all the time." He looked at Dumbledore. "I can, can't I, sir?"_

_Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, you can, Sirius."_

_Sirius kissed her and smiled. "It will be alright, Sammy. We'll see each other all the time and you'll get better. After you get better, you can come back and we will be together again." She stared at him. "Doesn't that sound good?" She slapped him. He blinked. "What the hell was that for?"_

_Sam sneered. "Don't talk to me as if I were a child!" His face scrunched up in confusion. "I know why you are sending me away! You tried to have me killed but that didn't work out so you are sending me away so you won't have to face what you did!"_

_He paled. "Sammy, no, that's not true!" She scoffed. He held her face in his hands. "I love you so much and I regret my part in your attack more than anything." He held her to him and cried into her neck. "Sammy, I just want you to get better. Please, believe me."_

_She snuggled into him. "I'm sorry, Sirius." She kissed him. "I love you too. Please, don't be mad at me."_

_He looked at her. "I'm not mad at you, Sammy. I'm not sending you away because I'm mad at you. I'm sending you there because you need help that I can't give you."_

_She cried. "I'll be good. I promise I'll be good."_

_He sighed. "You weren't bad. I'm not doing this to punish you. Sammy, you have to understand that I'm not doing this to punish or hurt you. This is what you need right now."_

_She clung to him. "Please, don't do this. Don't break your promise to me. Please, don't make me go. I love you. I promise I'll be better."_

_McGonagall sighed. "Mrs. Black, you have to go. It is for the best." Sam cried harder. "Samantha, it will be alright. You can see your husband as much as you want. You will get better and the voices will stop." Sam wiped her eyes and looked at her. "You want the voices to stop, don't you?" She bit her lip and nodded. "Then you should listen to Sirius and go back there. Things will get better after you go back."_

_Sam's head cocked to the side. "But I don't want to." They sighed. "Do I have to go?"_

_Sirius nodded. "Yes, you do, Sammy. You have to go tonight." Sam cried as Dumbledore pulled her up and led her to the door. "It'll be alright, Sammy. Everything will be alright. Don't worry." Sam screamed when Dumbledore opened the door. "Sammy, calm down! He's not hurting you!" Sam cried. He sighed. "Sammy, please, calm down. It's ok." She looked at him. "I love you forever, Sammy. It'll be ok. We'll be together again soon."_

_She hiccupped. "I love you forever, Sirius." She wiped her eyes. "Beware of curtains."_

_He nodded. "I know. They kill." She smiled and waved as Dumbledore escorted her out of the room. He went to follow them but McGonagall stopped him. "What are you doing?"_

_McGonagall's eyebrow rose. "Sirius, you need to give her time to settle in." He shook his head. She sighed. "Give her tonight then." He sighed. "Pack some of her clothes and some personal items tonight and you can bring them to her tomorrow."_

_Sirius nodded. "I will." McGonagall nodded and went to the door. "Will Sammy be alright there? Will she be safe?" She turned to look at him and nodded. "I just…I wanted to make sure she is taken care of."_

_She smiled. "Samantha will be well taken care of." He nodded. "I'll leave you to pack her things."_

_He picked up one of Sam's shirts and started to fold it when he was alone. "I did the right thing. I know I did. Sammy needs help and I was right to break my promise." He sighed as he continued to fold her clothes. "She'll need a tank top and a sweater." He muttered to himself. "She gets cold and hot easily. She's weird like that." He smiled. "It's one of the many things I love about her." He sat down on the bed and held their wedding photograph. He stared at it closely. He traced Sam's image and smiled. "You'll be ok, Sammy. Everything will work out. I know it will. You needed help and you'll forgive me for breaking my promise. I know you will." He held the picture to his chest and cried. "I'm so sorry, Sammy. Please, forgive me. I thought I did the right thing. I just want you to be ok again." He had trouble breathing. "I'm sorry, Sammy. Please, forgive me."

* * *

_

Sirius' eyes flew open as he gasped for air. His eyes moved around quickly to search the darkened room. He couldn't see much. He didn't see her. His heart started to race. "Sammy?" He struggled to sit up but he couldn't. He felt the restraints on his wrists and ankles. "Sammy, where are you?" He yelled.

Sam, who was fast asleep in a chair beside his bed, was startled out of her sleep. She jumped out of the chair when she heard him calling out for her. She stood over his bed and rubbed her eyes. "Sirius, what is it? What's wrong?"

He stared at her. "Sammy, are you real?"

She smiled as she touched his cheek gently. "Of course I'm real, Sirius." He sighed in relief. "Why are you asking me that?"

He let out a shaky breath. "I had so many dreams about you and…" He coughed. "They wouldn't stop." She blinked. "The dreams just kept getting worse and all I wanted to do was get back to the real you." She nodded slowly. "I just wanted the dreams to stop but…but they wouldn't!" She sat down on the bed and nodded. "It was horrible! I couldn't stop them, Sammy! You have to believe me! I tried to stop them but they just wouldn't!"

Her eyes widened when she saw how upset he was getting. "Baby, you need to calm down! It's alright! You aren't dreaming anymore, ok?" He had trouble breathing. She stroked his hair. "Sirius, Baby, it's alright. Just calm down. You're safe now."

He let out a shaky breath. "I can't take it anymore, Sammy."

Her head cocked to the side. "What can't you take anymore?"

He stared at her. "I can't take the dreams anymore."

She smiled. "Sirius, you're safe now. You don't have to worry about any bad dreams, ok?"

He nodded slowly. "Thank you, Sammy." He struggled against the restraints. "What's going on? Why do I have these on?"

She sighed. "You wouldn't stop screaming and thrashing around. They put padding on the restraints so they wouldn't hurt you." He nodded slowly. "I'll take them off." He sighed in relief when he was free. "Are you in any pain?" He shook his head. She smiled. "That's good." He smiled. "Do you need anything? Should I send for a healer?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't need anything. I'm just happy to see you."

She smiled. "I'm happy to see you too." He smiled. "I…I am happy you're awake."

He looked at her. "Was I out long? What day is it?"

She laughed lightly. "Sirius, don't worry. You were out for only a few hours. I was just worried about you."

He put his hand over hers and smiled. "You don't have to worry about me anymore, Sammy." She nodded. "What did the healer say about me?" She bit her lip. "What is it, Sammy?"

She sighed. "Don't you want to wait and talk to the healer?" He shook his head. "Most of your body was burned." He blinked. "You have to stay here for a bit so you can heal. You might need a walking device for a small amount of time too just in case." His eyes widened. "You'll need to take pain potions. If you don't, the pain will be too much for you. They will have to put a healing potion on your burns when they change your bandages. It will cause you some discomfort but it will help you in the end."

He nodded slowly. "I understand." She smiled. "I will be ok, right? Will I be able to walk again?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course you will!" He nodded. "You'll just need a little help until you are completely healed. They only mentioned the walking device just as added help. It won't be forever."

He sighed in relief. "That's good to know." She nodded. "How long are you staying? When do you have to go back?"

Her eyebrow rose. "Are you trying to get rid of me already?" He laughed lightly as he shook his head. "I'm staying here with you until you are well enough to go back." He blinked. "Is that alright?"

He smiled. "Yes, it is." She smiled. "You won't fall behind, will you?"

She shook her head. "No, I won't. Dumbledore is going to send our assignments." He nodded. She kissed his forehead. "Don't worry about a thing, Sirius. Lily and James packed a few things for us so we will be comfortable while we stay here. We will get our assignments. You will get better. Everything will be ok."

He nodded and yawned. "Ok." He muttered.

She smiled. "Why don't you get some sleep?" He shook his head. "You need to rest. It will help you get better."

He sighed. "I don't want to go back to sleep."

She nodded. "I understand why you don't but you need to. You won't have anymore bad dreams. I promise."

He stared at her. "You aren't going to leave, are you?" She shook her head and smiled. "I-"

She kissed his forehead. "Sirius, just close your eyes. I'll be right here in this chair beside your bed." His eyebrow rose. "What?"

He yawned. "You can't sleep in a chair."

She sighed. "They won't have an available bed until tomorrow. The chair will be fine." He gave her a look. She rolled her eyes. "It's either the chair or the floor and I'm not in the mood to sleep on a floor."

He smiled. "You can share the bed with me."

She laughed. "Nice try." He pouted. "Sirius, I can't share the bed with you." He kept pouting. "You are seriously injured. I will just hurt you."

He sighed. "You won't hurt me, Sammy." She rolled her eyes. "Ok, I need you to sleep in the bed with me." Her eyebrow rose. "I'm being honest. I don't want any more bad dreams and if I have you next to me, I know I won't."

She stared at him. "Are you telling me the truth?" He nodded. She sighed. "Alright." He smiled. She laughed. "You conned me again. I know you did."

He shook his head and laughed. "I swear I didn't con you this time. I really do need you next to me tonight." She nodded and smiled. He eased over to make room for her. "You can lay down now."

She eased down next to him and sighed in content. He put his arm around her. She closed her eyes. Despite her difficulty with being touched, she felt comforted by having his arm around her. "Are you alright? Are you in pain?"

He smiled against her hair. "I'm perfect." She looked at him. "Yes, I would tell you if I was in pain." She nodded. He kissed her. "Thank you for staying with me."

She smiled. "There is no way I'd leave you. Wild horses couldn't drag me away."

His smile grew. "I love you forever, Sammy."

She kissed him. "I heart you forever, Sirius." He kissed her. "Now, close your eyes and get some sleep." He stared at her. She smiled. "Don't worry, Sirius. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and kissed her. "Let's get some rest, ok?"

He nodded and kissed her. "That sounds good." He closed his eyes and sighed in content. "Goodnight. I love you, Sammy."

She closed her eyes. "I heart you too, Sirius. Good night and sweet dreams."


	91. Chapter 88: The Heart Of The Matter

Author's Note: Ok, this is the real last chapter I wrote…I also never finished it so enjoy...

* * *

Chapter 88: The Heart Of The Matter.

* * *

Sirius opened his eyes and felt an unbearable pain all over his body. He screamed and thrashed around. He felt hands on him. He swatted at them. "NO! NO!" He tried to fight against the hands but it hurt too much. "NO!"

"Sirius, calm down! It's ok! Just calm down!"

He couldn't see anything. He was in so much pain. "Sammy?" He yelled. "Sammy, where are you? I need you! Sammy, help me!"

Sam let out a shaky breath. "Sirius, I'm here! It's ok! You're safe! They are just changing your bandages!" She looked at the nurse. "I thought the healer said Sirius would feel _slight_ discomfort?"

The nurse sighed. "His pain potion must have worn off. We will make sure we give him a dose before we change his bandages next time."

She gave her a look. "Can we give him another dose now?" The nurse shook her head. "Why the hell not?"

She looked at her. "I'm almost done. I'll give it to him after."

She resisted the urge to punch her. "What can I do to help?" The nurse shook her head. "I have to help! I will not sit back and watch my husband scream in pain while you take your sweet ass time!"

The nurse looked at her. "I was warned about you."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I don't care what was said about me! I'm going to help! Now, tell me what to do or I'll just figure it out for myself!"

She sighed. "Ok, I don't want any problems." Sam nodded. "You have to ease off the old bandages and gently rub the healing potion onto his wounds like this." Sam watched her closely as the nurse demonstrated what to do. "After that is done, you wrap the wounds with the new bandages." Sam nodded. "Let's get finished so we can give him his pain potion."

They worked gently and quickly as Sirius yelled out in pain. Sam put on the last bandage on his leg and sighed. "Ok, we are done. Can we give him the pain potion now?" The nurse nodded. Sam pulled the yelling Sirius up and helped him drink the potion. "How long will this take to work?"

The nurse sighed. "He should feel the effects momentarily."

She sighed. "Thank you." The nurse nodded. "I'm sorry for being short with you. I am just worried about my husband."

She smiled and nodded. "I understand. If something happened to my husband after we first got married, I would have been worried too."

Her head cocked to the side and she smiled. "Are you divorced or something now?"

She shook her head. "No, I've been married ten years. My husband just annoys the hell out of me now." Sam laughed. She smiled. "Don't worry, Mrs. Black. Your husband will be fine."

She nodded. "I know. I just hate seeing him like this." The nurse nodded. "You can call me Sam."

The nurse smiled. "You can call me Judy."

Sirius groaned. "Sammy?" He croaked.

Judy smiled. "I'll leave you two alone for now."

Sam smiled and nodded. "Thank you." Judy nodded and left. She stood next to his bed. "Sirius, I'm here. Are you alright?" He opened his eyes slowly and stared at her. "Baby, are you alright? Are you still in pain?" He groaned. "Do you want me to get a healer?" He shook his head. "Is there anything I can get you?"

He licked his lips. "So…so much…so much pain."

She blinked. "Are you still in pain?"

He shook his head and coughed. "I-I woke up and…and there was pain."

She sighed. "I know, Baby. We were changing your bandages when the pain potion wore off. We gave you some more." He nodded slowly. "Are you feeling any better?"

He nodded slowly. "I'm starting to." She smiled. He stared at her. "Did you sleep alright?"

Her smile grew. "Yes, I did. How did you sleep? Did you have anymore bad dreams?"

He smiled. "I slept great. The bad dreams stopped." He held her hand. "Thank you, Sammy."

She kissed his forehead. "I didn't do anything, Sirius."

He shook his head. "You stayed with me."

She stared at him. "I'll always stay with you, Sirius." She squeezed his hand. "Always."

He blinked. "What?" She blushed. "What are you saying, Sammy?"

She bit her lip. "I wanted to tell you last night but you were so tired and I didn't think it was the right time." He nodded slowly. "During my session with Andrew, I-"

His eyebrows furrowed together. "You were with Andrew?" She nodded. "What happened to Alan? Why didn't you have your session with him?"

She shrugged. "There was some sort of emergency with one of his patients." He nodded. "But that's not the point. I want to tell you what I realized during my session."

He smiled. "Ok, tell me what you realized."

She smiled. "I realized that I want to-"

His eyebrow rose as he stared at her. "Sammy, I don't want to interrupt you but I have to ask you something." She sighed and nodded. "What happened to you?" She looked at him in confusion. "Why is there a bruise on your cheek?" She looked away from him. "Tell me what happened to you, Sammy."

She sighed. "Does it really matter? Do you have to know?" He nodded. "I don't want you to get upset."

He sighed. "Sammy, if you don't tell me, I'll get upset."

She looked at him. "Harold hit me a couple of times while we were waiting to hear about you."

His eyes widened. "Dad hit you?" She nodded. "Why? What happened?" She sighed. "Tell me, Samantha. I need to know."

She bit her lip. "He kept asking why I even care about you since I left you on our wedding night." He rolled his eyes. "He said I married you because I was curious about sex." His eyebrow rose. She shrugged. "That's what he thinks."

He shook his head. "Well, that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard and I'm friends with Peter, Frank, _and _Kevin!" Sam laughed and nodded. "Tell me the rest of what happened."

She gulped. "Well, he kept insisting I married you just for sex. I kept telling him that that wasn't true. We kept fighting. I…" She bit her lip. "This part made things worse." He nodded slowly. "I told him that I slept with Remus and you." His eyes widened. "And, I told him about my pregnancy scare." He choked. She groaned. "I know. I know but he just made me so mad and I wanted to hurt him." He nodded. "He got really quiet and then, he hit me a few times. James and Mama fought with him too. I told him I knew he cheated on Mama and I accused him of still cheating on her."

He blinked. "H-How do you know about that?"

She shrugged. "Grandma told me." He nodded slowly. "He called me a slut."

His eyebrow rose. "He did what?" She sighed. "You are _not_ a slut! He had no right to say that to you!"

She looked at him. "Sirius, it's alright. Calm down." He shook his head. "Harold wasn't the only one at fault."

He gave her a look. "He still had no right to hit you!"

She nodded. "I know but it happened and I can't change it."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Sammy."

She smiled and caressed his cheek. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Sirius. It happened. I'm fine." He eyed her closely. "All I care about is you and how you are feeling."

He blinked in surprise. "Do you?" She nodded. He smiled. "I'm feeling alright." He held her hand. "I'm getting better by the minute." She laughed lightly. "Do you know what will make me feel even better?"

She smirked. "I'm not sleeping with you, Sirius."

He laughed. "I wasn't asking for sex!" She nodded and smiled. "Even if you said yes, I don't think I'll be able to do it for sometime." She caressed his cheek and nodded. "I was asking for a kiss. Can you give me a kiss? Can you do that for me and make your husband feel better?" He said with a pout.

She giggled. "I think I can handle that." He wiggled his eyebrows. She kissed him slowly. "How was that?"

He smiled. "That was great." She smiled. "Now, if you could kiss that spot on my neck that you know I love, it would make me feel even better."

She laughed. "Don't push your luck, Sirius." He laughed and nodded. She kissed him. "You can be so cute sometimes." His eyebrow rose. She kissed him again. "You can be pretty wonderful too."

He blinked when she kissed him. "Sammy, I'm not complaining about the nice things you are saying to me or the affection you are showing me but I have to ask." She kissed him and smiled. "Why are you being so nice and affectionate?"

She sat down on the bed and smiled. "You are my husband and you almost died." He nodded slowly. She kissed him. "Plus, I think you are great."

He smiled. "I think you are great too." She smiled. He reached for her. She laid down next to him and kissed his chin. His smile grew. "So, what were you going to tell me? Why did you realize during your session?"

She bit her lip. "I wanted to tell you something important and I hope you like what I have to tell you." He nodded slowly. "I want-"

"Hello, how are you doing, Sirius?"

They looked up and saw Andrew. Sam held in a groan. Sirius stared at him. "I'm doing alright but I did take a pain potion."

Andrew smiled and nodded. "Well, the potion will help." Sirius nodded. "I wanted to see when you want to have our next session."

Sirius shrugged. "I'm free whenever. I'm not going anywhere for a while."

He laughed. "That's true." He looked at her. "How are you doing, Sam?" She shrugged. He sighed. "Sam, I came here to tell you that Alan wants to see you." She looked at him in question. "He wants to make sure you are doing alright especially after what happened between you and your father." She sighed. "He also wants to finish our session because it was cut short." She nodded. "He wants to see you now."

Sam sat up. "I can't." He looked at her in question. "I'm busy." Sirius touched her shoulder. She looked at him. "Sirius, I can't go."

He nodded slowly. "I understand but can you tell me why?" She sighed. "What is it, Sammy? You can tell me."

She bit her lip. "I don't want to leave you." He nodded slowly. "What if I leave and you…you start screaming again?" He sighed. "I can't leave you because I might lose you."

He caressed her cheek. "Sammy, I'm fine now." She shook her head. He smiled. "I swear I'm fine. When I was…screaming, all I wanted was to come back to you. You brought me back to reality and I'm staying. I promise I won't leave you."

He smiled. "Sam, I understand why you are reluctant to leave Sirius." She looked at him. "But his heart stopped for a moment and it happened because his body was under great stress. Sirius' healer says it won't happen again."

He blinked. "Wait!" Andrew looked at him. "Did you just say I died for a moment?" Andrew nodded slowly. He looked at Sam. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

She was pale. "I-I didn't know." Andrew held in a groan. "What do you mean his heart stopped?" Andrew opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "When the hell did that happen? Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me my husband's heart stopped?"

His eyes widened. "Sam, take a deep breath and calm down."

She sneered. "I will _NOT_ calm down!" Sirius stared at her in surprise. He knew he should have tried to calm her down but after weeks of being pushed away by her, it felt nice to see how much she still cared for him. She stood up. Andrew took a step back. The murderous glint in her eye made him slightly nervous. "Tell me what happened and when it happened right now!"

He took a deep breath. "According to Dr. Harris-" Sam growled when she heard that name. "Sirius was screaming about rotting hands-" Sirius gulped. Sam looked confused. "And, his heart stopped soon after that. It took Dr. Harris a minute to restart his heart again." Sam nodded slowly. "It was around the time you were fighting with your father."

She shook her head. "I can't believe this." She muttered. She kicked a chair. Andrew gulped. "Why didn't that incompetent asshole tell me my husband died for a minute?" Andrew sighed. "Wasn't he supposed to tell us about what happened?" He nodded. "Well, why didn't he?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I don't know but I will find out."

She looked at him. "I want him fired!"

He sighed. "Sammy, don't you think that's a bit extreme?"

She gave him a look. "Sirius, how can you even ask me that?" Sirius sighed. "He didn't tell us you died and he had to revive you! He also wanted to torture you _after_ you died! Of course I want him fired!" He blinked. "Plus, he insinuated I was a lying tramp!"

Their eyes widened. "What?"

She sighed as she told them about her interaction with Dr. Harris. She looked at him. "So, I want him fired."

Sirius stared at her. "You never told me about what happened to you the first time you were sent here." Sam bit her lip and nodded. "Why didn't you ever tell me or anyone?" She wouldn't look at him. "Sammy, I need to know why you didn't tell me."

Sam took a deep breath. "I thought my parents approved what happened." He nodded slowly. "I don't know why I didn't tell you or anyone else. I guess I wasn't sure if anyone would believe me."

He gave her a look. "I would have believed you." She sighed and nodded. "What else are you not telling me?" She looked at him in surprise. "Sammy, we have spent a lot of time together. We've known and loved each other for years." She nodded slowly. "I don't understand why you can't tell me things."

She sighed. "I've been trying to."

He nodded slowly. "I know and I've been trying to as well but…" He sighed. "Just go see Alan, Sammy."

She blinked. "Sirius-"

He looked at her. "Sammy, it's ok. Just go see Alan."

Andrew looked between them. "Why don't we discuss this at your joint session?" They nodded. "Sam, I'll make sure Sirius is alright while you are gone."

Sam nodded. "Thank you, Andrew." He shrugged. She kissed Sirius. He stared at her. "I'll be back soon." He nodded. She kissed him again. "Goodbye."

Andrew looked at Sirius when Sam was gone. "That was interesting." Sirius gave him a look. "I think we should have our session now." Sirius sighed and nodded. He sat down. "Do you want to discuss your memories?" Sirius stared towards the window and shook his head. "What's on your mind, Sirius?" He shrugged in response. "Come on, Sirius. You know you can say anything and it will stay between us." Andrew's eyebrows furrowed together. "You have a lot on your mind. I can see it." Sirius looked at him. "And, it has nothing to do with you being attacked, does it?" Sirius sighed. "What is it?"

Sirius took a deep breath. "It's about rotting hands." Andrew looked confused. "When I was screaming, I was in the middle of a…vision quest of sorts." Andrew blinked. Sirius sat up and stared at him closely. "What I'm about to tell you can't leave this room, understood?" Andrew nodded. "You can't tell Sammy. She would…she would lose it if she ever found out." Andrew's eyebrow rose as he nodded. Sirius gulped as he told him about everything he saw in his vision quest and the dream he had afterwards. Andrew stared at him with wide eyes when Sirius was done. "I think that's why my heart stopped."

He shook his head slowly. "I-I think you're right." Sirius sighed. "Sirius, do you know why you saw all those different…Sam corpses and her being murdered? Or, why you saw her go…crazy?"

He sighed. "I think I saw all that to see if I could handle seeing how much pain San really is in and hiding from everyone. If I could handle it and still get to the real Sam, I'd be able to get her back. I think the dream of her going crazy was just a left over dream."

He rubbed his eyes. "I honestly don't know what to say."

He shrugged. "There's nothing to say." Andrew nodded. "Do you think it also has something to do with Sammy trying to kill herself and not telling me?"

He nodded. "That could be a reason."

He sighed. "When she slept next to me, the dreams stopped." Andrew nodded slowly. "I think having the real Sam next to me helped."

He smiled. "Her presence gave you comfort. It helped you when you were sleeping. You knew if she was next to you that the dreams would stop themselves." Sirius nodded and shrugged. "I suggest you keep having her sleep next to you and you continue to discuss the dreams with me. Having her near you will help you sleep and talking about them with me will help the dreams and the memories of the dreams fade."

He nodded. "I think you're right."

* * *

Sam sat down next to Alan and sighed. "Andrew said you wanted to see me." Alan nodded. "Why did you want to see me?"

Alan eyed her closely. "I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything that happened last night." She nodded slowly. "How are you doing?"

She shrugged. "I'm alright." His eyebrow rose. She sighed. "Before I came to see you, Sirius and I…well, we had the beginning of an argument. Andrew said we should discuss our problem in our joint session."

He nodded slowly. "He was right. Tell me what the argument was about."

She sighed. "It started because Dr. Harris neglected to tell me that Sirius' heart stopped for a minute and he had to revive him. I demanded he be fired."

He blinked. "He didn't tell you?" She shook her head. "You're right. He should be fired." She smiled. "Why would Sirius fight you on that?"

She bit her lip. "I told Sirius about what happened to me when I first came here." He nodded slowly. "I explained that Dr. Harris wanted to do that to him _after_ he died." Alan nodded. "Sirius was upset and didn't understand why I didn't tell him." Alan stared at her. "He asked what else I didn't tell him before he sent me away so he could talk to Andrew."

He nodded. "I see." She looked at him. "Why didn't you tell him?"

She sighed. "Well, I thought my parents approved what happened and I didn't think anyone would believe me."

He nodded. "And, Sirius said he would have believed you." She nodded. "He wouldn't have believed you at first but eventually, he would have." She sighed. "Sam, it will be fine. Once Sirius calms down, he will understand." She smiled. "Tell me how the session went with Andrew." She shrugged. "That's not an answer, Sam."

She let out a tiny laugh. "It was alright. I let go of Patrick and Remus. I was just starting to work on letting go of Sirius when Frank came running in to tell me about Sirius' attack."

He eyed her closely. "Is there something else you want to tell me?"

She nodded. "Yes, there is." He motioned for her to continue. "I realized that…I want to stay married to Sirius." He looked at her in surprise. "I know I can live without him. I know I don't need him to survive but I also realized that I don't want to be without him. I like being married to him…most of the time." He smiled. "I'll still be celibate but I want to stay married to Sirius and try to make things work."

He smiled. "What did he say when you told him?"

She sighed. "I didn't tell him yet."

His head cocked to the side. "Why didn't you tell him?"

She shrugged. "Andrew walked in before I could."

He nodded. "Well, I think it is good that you want to stay married to him."

She blinked. "You do?" He nodded. "I thought you'd be mad."

He shook his head and smiled. "I'm not mad."

"Why not?"

He laughed. "Do you want me to be mad?" She shook her head. "Then why are you asking me if I'm mad?"

She stared at him. "I thought you'd be mad because you told me to be single and celibate for a year but I want to stay married to Sirius."

He smiled. "If you stay married, will you remain celibate?" She nodded eagerly. "Well, that's good!" She looked confused. "Sam, I'm proud of you." She blinked. "You made a decision without being coerced into it and you made the decision even though there was a good chance I'd be upset. You did something the 'old' you would have had trouble doing. Making a decision even if it displeased someone." She smiled in surprise. "I'm proud of you." Her smile grew. "But you must remain celibate."

She laughed. "I promise I will." He smiled and nodded. "Just the thought of sex makes me hyperventilate."

He laughed lightly. "Well, in time, that problem will fade." She nodded. "Are you ready to continue with the session that was cut short last night?"

She nodded. "I guess so." She looked at him. "Will we be using the balloons again?"

He nodded. "Yes, we will." She sighed and nodded. "Is that a problem?" She shook her head. "Ok, this will take some time so we will do a little each day." She nodded. "You said you were about to start with Sirius when you were interrupted." She nodded. "Would you like to continue with him?" She shook her head. "Ok, who would you like to let go of next?"

She thought for a moment before answering. "James." He nodded slowly. "I think I would like to let go of my…James."

He smiled. "Where would you like to start?" She bit her lip and shrugged. He smiled. "You know this won't be easy. You will have to relive the bad times." She nodded. "Are you ok with that?"

She sighed. "I know what to expect, Alan. It's ok. I'm ready."

* * *

Sirius looked away from the window when the door opened. Sam entered the room. She glanced at him before closing the door behind her. She sighed as she sat down in the chair beside his bed. He stared at her. "How was your session?"

Sam shrugged. "It was alright. How was yours?"

He shrugged. "It was alright."

She nodded. "That's good." He nodded. She sighed. "Are we going to talk about what happened before I left or are you still mad?"

He sighed. "I'm…I don't want to fight with you right now, Sam." She nodded slowly. "I think we've done enough fighting." She looked at him. He smiled. "Come here, Sam." She smiled as she laid down next to him. He kissed her. "How was your session?"

She smiled. "Before I tell you about my session," He looked at her. "I want to know how you are feeling."

He caressed her cheek. "I feel great." Her smile grew. He kissed her and smiled. "I feel even better now." She laughed lightly. They stared at each other. "How was your session with Alan?"

She stroked his hair. "It was alright. We continued the session I had with Andrew that was cut short." He nodded slowly. He rested his head on her chest and closed his eyes as she continued to stroke his hair. "Last night I let go of Patrick and Remus." He nodded slowly. "I was about to let go of you when Frank came running in telling me you were hurt." He sighed as he nodded. She let out a shaky breath. "Alan asked if I want to continue with you but I said no." He looked up at her. She bit her lip. "I'm not ready to let go of you just yet." He smiled and kissed her shoulder. "I chose James." His eyebrow rose. She blushed. "It's stupid but…"

He smiled gently. "What is it? Tell me."

She shrugged. "After the fight with Harold last night and how James defended me, I realized a part of me missed my brother." He blinked. "I called him Jimmybean." He laughed. "It just slipped out!"

He laughed and nodded. "I know it did!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm happy to hear that you want to make up with him but…don't make it too easy on him."

She blinked. "I'm surprised you are saying that. You were eager for us to make up before."

He smiled. "I am eager…for many things." She smirked. He laughed. "I do want the two of you to get along again but it doesn't mean he shouldn't work for your forgiveness."

Her eyebrow rose. "He should work for my forgiveness…like you do?" He nodded slowly. She caressed his cheek. "Sirius, I want to forgive you. I want to forgive you so much."

He nuzzled his nose against her cheek and sighed. "I know, Sammy." He whispered. He laid on his back. He stared at her. She smiled. "I love you, Sammy." She straddled his hips. His eyes widened. "Sammy-?"

She put a finger to his lips. "Am I hurting you?" He shook his head. She smiled slowly. "Say it again, Sirius."

He smiled. "I love you, Sammy."

She kissed him slowly. "If I could say the words back to you," She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I would whisper the words in your ear." He gulped. She pressed her lips against his. "I would say them against your lips." She pulled back and smiled. "And, I would shout them from the rooftop!" She yelled. He laughed. She rolled off him and laid down next to him. She caressed his cheek. "If I could say the words to you, I would, Sirius."

He held her hand and placed it over his heart. They stared at each other closely. "I know you would, Sammy." He yawned. "I'll say it enough for the both of us."

She kissed him. "I know you will, Sirius." He smiled. "You should go to sleep. You need to rest."

He stared at her. "Will you stay with me?"

She smiled and nodded. "There is no other place I'd rather be." He smiled.


End file.
